#The ABCs of Death

[heinzezsquirt]

can never get enough of silly horror movies

[thethcministry]

[jimsmovieworld]

THE ABC'S OF DEATH- 2012 ⭐️

Whack ass anthology movie where a different director gets a different short movie where someones cause of death relates to a different letter of the alphabet. The first one was awful which is never a good sign. Continued poorly from there.

[lover-of-mine]

Welcome back Couch Theory, you were missed.

[kakaphoe]

F is for Fart

So I was watching "The ABCs of Death" and got up to "F" which is the Japanese entry. And it's about erotic death farts and an afterlife in the celestial butt.

Naturally, I have timestamped it for your enjoyment tumblr ate the time stamp it's at 26:33 and there's no English subs, but believe me it does not matter (it's age-restricted so you need to be able to log in on YT).

It is not safe for work or your brain, but it needs to be seen to be believed. It's only 5 minutes long, please watch. I have been forever changed by "F is for Fart".

[jessubear]

The ABCs of Death, 2012, USA (with multiple entries from other countries)

A bit of a polarizing anthology film amongst horror fans, with some loving it and others (like me) feeling like the few good shorts are not worth trudging through the awful ones. Directors were given total creative freedom for their sequences, and unfortunately this devolved into numerous shorts revolving around feces (killer poop, killer toilet…) and sexual deviance (crush & fart fetishism, men masturbating to deformed children). Other directors (looking at you Ti West) phoned it in, leaving uninteresting, pointless sequences. That being said there are a few gems here, specifically Dogfight, Orgasm, Removed, XXL, and Youngbuck. Overall I can’t say I recommend it, especially if you’re sensitive to depictions of abuse and extreme gross out humor.

[mazzystar24]

Just saw an anti Eddie fic about Eddie being rude to buck for infodumping and before that I’ve seen few bucktommy posts about Tommy being the only one to want to listen to buck’s facts

And like you mean this Eddie?

Be so fr he’s so “show me your rock collection babe” “tell me about beetle folklore” “and why exactly are dolphins assholes?” “Wait so why did pirates like black cats?” “Sure I’ll watch 3hr documentary with you” coded

Same man spouting goat yoga facts just cos buck wasn’t there, be so fucking for real guys

(Insert the “ I love this autistic man” audio here) - tho in my opinion adhd is more accurate for buck

[tdickbuckley]

Buck just randomly drops pieces of lore and doesn't elaborate.

"this reminds me of the time the lightning strike gave me superpowers."

"it was hard getting back in the ocean after the tsunami."

"I still feel bad about throwing up blood on Athena's flowers."

And every time Tommy gets whiplash.

[thefrsers]

#soulmates fr😭

[homoquartz]

🌈 wanna do something cool with me?

like, cool in the internet sense. because i have compiled all the data and i was right: queer shows are getting canceled twice as often. and earlier, too. we lost HALF of them this year!

i have all the data in a carrd (there's SO MUCH data) and it's kind of shaking out to be like. a legit thesis.

so even if your fave show is returning or finished already, it's still important to know this is going on in our current cultural landscape. and while LGBTQ book bans rise and our rights take hits, we need those messages that queer people deserve to be seen and loved.

i talked with a friend who organizes, and we're gonna make it a cross-fandom hashtag going live on Dec 16. 🥰

if you want to participate, reach out to me via message! anyone is welcome to join in.

even if your fandom is safe, even if you don't have a ton of followers. the goal is to get attention - not just for current rep, but for canceled shows too. it'll be a great opportunity to share why your fave matters to you, too.

stay silly ✌️

edit: idk why i wanted y'all to ask for it, the data is here

[girldadbuckley]

And I really am sorry.

[cjlouwho]

My idea for a good 9-1-1 storyline is that Buck kills someone (completely justified, the guy was gonna kill Tommy) and it is heavily implied that the 118 just buried the body. And is never caught. Athena is on to them but she tells no one. What do you even do if you're a cop and your husband helps his son coworker bury a body. Also Buck and Tommy get back together.

Sorry, I turned this into a prompt! It's kinda ooc and not everyone is included, but this was fun to write anyway! I also could have made this like 5k, but I shortened it to 2.1k.

It's a gray area.

His hands are shaking, there's a dead man on the floor, and it's a gray area because, “He... He was gonna kill you, Tommy. Wasn't- He was going to, wasn't he?”

Tommy's frozen. He can't look away from the man's eyes, staring up blankly at him. Almost like they are staring straight into his soul. “Buck,” he manages to breathe out.

This is bad. Very, very bad.

“Oh my God. Oh my God!” Buck starts to panic, because he just killed a man! He snapped his neck like a twig, felt him go limp in his arms as he dropped to the ground. Buck had fallen back with him before scooting out from under him so fast you would have thought he was on fire. “Oh my God, Tommy!”

“O- Okay. Okay, Buck. It's okay,” Tommy says, Buck's panic breaking him out of his trance. “I need you to calm down, okay? Just... just let me think for a second.”

“Calm down?! You want me to calm down?! Tommy, I just killed a man! I just killed y-”

“Evan, stop! It was self defense. He... he was coming at me-”

“With a cell phone!” Buck finished. “I- I thought it was a gun, Tommy! I thought he was gonna shoot you.”

“He was still coming at me, Buck!” Tommy tries to reason. “He was being aggressive and making threats and I- I was frozen. You saved me. That's what we'll tell the police, okay?”

“No!” Buck yells. “No, you- Tommy, I'll go prison!”

“Not for self defense! I'll back you up, whatever you say.”

Buck's hands go to his hair at that, pulling at the strands. “Ohhhh, oh my God. Oh, no. No, Tommy. No, no, no.” He's backing away. Backing away until he hits the wall, then he slides down it.

Tommy walks over to him, kneels in front of him. He grabs onto Buck's hands and tugs until Buck let's go of his hair and looks up at him. “Buck, there is nothing else we can do but call the cops.”

Buck's shaking his head, moving more rapidly with each word Tommy speaks.

“He's like seventy years old, Tommy,” he whispers out as though they weren't the only one's there. “They're not gonna believe for a second that we were so threatened by this man that we, that I, had to kill him!” A new wave of panic rushes over Buck, his eyes widening. “Tommy, I killed a person.” His hands are shaking again and Tommy holds onto them tight. “I killed someone.”

“Evan-”

“I'm gonna throw up.” Buck manages to push himself up and away from Tommy, running down the hall to the bathroom. From the living room, Tommy can hear him gagging and coughing.

Tommy stands and turns back to the man. His heart is pounding in his ears. He feels a little dizzy himself, but he can't focus on that right now. He's got to keep it together. Buck needs him to keep it together.

Tommy hears the toilet flush and the sink come on for a second, then Buck was back, looking paler than a ghost.

Before they can get out a word, they hear the sound of a door slamming.

“What-”

“It's Eddie,” Tommy says, realization hitting him. “He was coming over today to spar.”

“D- Don't let him in, Tommy.”

At the same time Buck spoke, Tommy noticed the door was unlocked, and Eddie was one who always let himself in.

Tommy tried to hurry to the door to lock it before it was too late, but... it was too late.

“Tommy, I'm h- Oh my God!”

Tommy was quick to close the door behind Eddie, making sure no one was outside to see or hear anything.

The next ten minutes was filled with Buck desperately trying to explain himself, Tommy trying to calm Buck down, Eddie looking like a confused puppy, and then Buck having a full blown panic attack as the reality of the situation hit him again.

A smack to his chest had Eddie coming back to the present. He went over to Buck to try and help, but he was completely out of it, his breathing so erratic that Eddie wasn't sure how much longer he'd last before passing out.

That's when he pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Tommy asks.

“Calling Bobby.”

“Oh, yeah, because we need more people in on this,” Tommy says sarcastically.

“Hey, no one is getting Buck out of this panic attack but Bobby. You want a dead man in your house all night?”

Resigned, Tommy sighs. “No.”

“Okay. I'm calling Bobby.”

Eddie says nothing on the phone about a dead body being in the house, but he does tell Bobby there was an emergency with Buck at Tommy's place and he needs to come over, alone and fast.

As soon as Bobby steps in the door, his eyes immediately fall to the unmissable body. “What the hell happened?” he asks, hurrying over to the man as if on autopilot. He checks for a pulse, then rests his head over the man's chest.

“He's gone, Bobby,” Tommy says. “He was gone right away.”

“Cap, we need you for Buck,” Eddie says, tapping Bobby's back and pointing over to Buck who is hyperventilating in the corner. “He's... It's not good.”

Bobby doesn't hesitate. He moves over to Buck and squats down in front of him. “Buck?” he tries. Buck's whole body is shaking, breaths coming in shallow bursts. He's sweating, but chilling at the same time. He's in shock.

“Buck? Kid!” Bobby reaches out and gets his hand around Buck's wrist, wiggling him slightly. This seems to help. Buck's glassy eyes drift to him. He looks confused.

“Cap?”

“I need you to tell me what happened, Kid. How'd this happen?”

“I- I- I,” Buck stutters, unable to find the words. “I didn't-”

“Tell me how you got to Tommy's. You drive here?”

Buck nods. “Mhm.”

“Okay. Why'd you come?”

“To- I wanted to-” His eyes move back toward the body, but Bobby moves to block his line of sight.

“Eyes on me, Buck. Why'd you come?”

Buck blinks once, twice. Swallows hard. “I wanted to talk to Tommy. I- I needed to talk to him.”

“Okay, that's fine. What happened when you came in?”

Buck took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I- the front door was cracked open. I heard yelling, so I- I let myself in. He- He was screaming at Tommy, Cap. He kept saying all these h- horrible things and then he was lunging toward him and I thought he... I thought he had a gun.”

“It was self defense,” Tommy reiterates.

Buck shakes his head. “Bobby, he's old. He- He doesn't have a gun. I didn't have to- we're both stronger than him. You know. You know what this means.”

It's a gray area.

“Buck-”

“No. No, Cap, I- I know what you're gonna say and no. We can't tell Athena. I- I will go to prison! I didn't mean it. I-”

“Buck, you can't-”

They start talking over each other, then Eddie gets in on it as well.

“Guys, we've got to do-”

“Kid, you can't run from-

“I'll be a murderer forever! I killed hi-”

“Hold on!” Tommy yells, silencing the room. All eyes turn to him. He sighs. “Just, everyone wait a second. I'll be right back.”

He heads to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Buck focuses on his breathing as the minutes tick by. Bobby studies over the body, wondering who the hell this man is. Eddie keeps glancing down the hall to see when Tommy comes back out of his room.

Two more minutes feels like an hour, then Tommy is back and stuffing his phone into his pocket. “I know a guy who owes me a favor,” he explains. “We'll get the body to his place and take care of it.”

Bobby holds up his hand. “What now?”

“We're going to take the body to an address I know and handle it there.”

“You just so happen to know a man that cleans up murders?” Eddie asks.

“I know a man who cremates animals, Eddie, and I asked if I could use his facilities. He's out of town right now, but leaves a key under a rock.”

“No offense, Tommy,” Eddie replies, “but this man is a little bigger than a dog!”

Tommy groans. “He lives outsides the city. He cremates cows and horses. This man is big, but not as big as a horse.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Bobby steps forward. “Why are we not calling the police?”

Tommy glances over at Buck, then leans in closer to Bobby. “He's not totally wrong, Bobby. A detective sees this, Evan's done.”

“What about the fact this is a whole human being?” Eddie questions. “What about when someone comes looking for him?”

Tommy shakes his head. “I know this man, okay? So, I- I don't need you guys to worry about all that. I can take care of that stuff. I just need the body out of my house.”

Eddie points down at the body. “You know this man? Who is he?”

“I think this is a the-less-you-know-the-better type situation, Eddie.” He walks over to Buck, siting down in front of him and resting a hand on his knee. “It's gonna get taken care of, Buck. Don't worry.”

*****

If you would have asked any of these four men what they would be doing at ten o'clock at night on a Tuesday in December, none of them would have said, “Carrying a body to a Jeep and driving it out to the country to put it inside a cremation oven, wait for it to burn, then scoop the cremains into a bag, going to the ocean, and dumping the cremains into said ocean.”

But that's exactly what they did. Then they went back to Tommy's place, vowed never to speak of this again, and went their separate ways.

That night, when Athena asked where Bobby had been, he looked at her with hollowed eyes. “It's a long story.”

She laughs. “What'd you do? Kill somebody?”

When he doesn't answer, she gets worried. “Bobby? Did you-”

“No,” he tells her. “I had to help Buck with a problem, and I really, really need you to not ask anymore questions. Please,” he pleads.

She knows him. It's scary just how much she knows him. “Okay,” she agrees. “No questions.”

She takes his hand and they go to bed.

Eddie falls back on his bed with a thump. He thinks he can sleep, maybe. He's seen dead bodies before. He's seen war. That was worse than this.

He just needed to close his eyes.

So he closes his eyes, and he sees a body. He sees Buck's terrified face. He sees secrets Tommy's hiding. He sees how he pulled Bobby into the mess.

He gets up and grabs his keys. He still knows some places that have underground fights on Tuesday nights. Maybe he'll hit one up.

Buck drives around aimlessly for hours until he finds himself right back at Tommy's place.

He knocks on the door, waits, and then there's Tommy.

“Evan, you shouldn't be here,” Tommy says, but he lets Buck push right past him without a fight.

“I can't- Tommy, I can't go home. Please, I just...” his voice trails off when he sees it. The carpet has already been pulled up, folded and taped, ready to go out with the trash.

“I've been looking for a reason to remodel,” Tommy says, desperate to lighten the mood. Not that that's possible.

Buck turns to him. “I needed to talk to you, Tommy. It... Today's been about me, and that's not right. I- Tommy, I'm so sorry. I am so, so-”

“Hey,” Tommy stops him. “I said it more than once, I'll say it again. Self defense.”

“That's not what I mean.”

They stare at each other for a moment, then Tommy nods toward the couch.

They sit, closer than exes should. They're not touching, but it's close.

“Tommy, someone will come looking for him. That shouldn't be on you.”

“A man like that... Evan, he doesn't have anyone to ask about him. I promise you, no one will care he's gone.”

With tears in his eyes, Buck pulls Tommy to him. Tommy's head rests on his chest, and he cards his fingers through Tommy's hair. “Not even you?”

Tommy lets himself be wrapped up in Buck's arms, lets a couple of tears fall too. “He was never much of a dad to me anyway.”

[mastercherry]

Say what you want about tired old tropes but you give me someone saying "it's beautiful," while looking at the sunset or something and then the other person says "yes it is," while looking at person 1 and I go feral.

[diazsdimples]

Tommy can remember the day he knew he was going to kill Vincent Gerrard. Or, not kill exactly, but do some serious, irreparable damage to him. He'd kind of figured this day would come, if the way he felt like ripping the old man's mustache right off his face whenever Buck came home upset was anything to go by. He just didn't think it would happen quite so soon. He's held Buck plenty of times after rough shifts, where Gerrard would make him man behind for no other reason than "I want this place clean and perfectly organized. That's what you people do, isn't it?". He's heard enough stories from Eddie, and Hen, and Chim, about the abuse they were all getting but how most of Gerrard's hellfire seemed directed towards Buck.

But nothing could prepare him for the fury he felt when that day arrived.

He'd gotten a text from Eddie, a short and simple "he needs you", and he'd been in his car in a flash. The whole drive he'd been worrying, not sure what he'd be arriving to.

When he gets there, he knows it’s bad. Hen and Chimney are locked in a furious screaming match with Gerrard, their faces all varying shades of puce, and it looks like Hen's about to punch Gerrard in the nose, based off the hand Chimney has wrapped tightly around her wrist.

He spots Eddie and Buck immediately; they're in the locker room and Eddie has his arm around Buck's shoulders. When he looks up and locks eyes with Tommy, he can see the flames of rage licking behind Eddie's eyes. Buck's got his face in his hands, and his shoulders are shaking in a way that tells Tommy that he's crying. Tommy's across the station in 3 quick strides, dropping to his knees in front of Buck and taking his face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over his cheekbones.

"What the hell happened?" he asks Eddie, because Buck's not in any shape to breathe right now, let alone talk.

Eddie doesn't reply immediately, but his jaw ticks and he looks like he's carefully picking his words. Just as he's about to speak, Buck's voice, quiet and broken, cuts through the silence.

"He made me watch."

Tommy's brow furrows in confusion, and a ball of dread settles in the pit of his stomach. Buck swallows convulsively and even Eddie looks like he might throw up. It's bad.

"Watch what?" Tommy asks carefully. He doesn't want to push it, not if Buck isn't up to speaking, but he needs to know.

Eddie speaks up first, and his voice is shaky too.

"We were called to a massive haemorrhage at the Pride Event in West Hollywood. A man and his husband had been attacked by one of those bible bashers that stand there and tell everyone they're going to hell. A bystander said they'd been arguing with him and he pulled a knife. Got the first guy in the stomach, second just above his heart. There was nothing we could do."

Buck takes a deep breath, a whine issuing from the back of his throat. Tommy puts a hand around the back of his neck and rubs soothing circles just below his hairline.

"He made me watch," Buck repeats again, a little louder this time, and Tommy's heart clenches cause he knows, he fucking knows what Buck is going to say next. "He said "ride with Wilson, Buckley. This is a good opportunity for you to increase your medic skills." He knew they weren't going to survive but he made me...." Buck trails off, unable to finish his sentence, and Tommy's vision goes red. He's never hated anyone more than he hates Gerrard right now.

That is, until Buck finishes his sentence.

"He said "you might learn something valuable," but he wasn't talking about the job."

Buck's fists are clenched so tight his knuckles are white, and there's blood under his fingernails. Eddie's got a fistful of Buck's shirt clenched tightly in his fist and he looks like he's doing all he can to not run upstairs and tear Gerrard limb from limb.

There's a ringing in Tommy's ears and everything sounds kind of muffled, like his head is underwater. He's clutching the back of Buck's neck so hard that it's got to be painful, but he can't make himself let go.

When he left the military, Tommy made a vow that he would never take another man's life. But for this - for Gerrard - for what he did to Buck, the light of Tommy's life, he might just make an exception.

[vanmarkus]

before we'd go deeper into this new found freedom that the hiatus grants us... let me just say that a flirtatious joke about daddy kink is the most vanilla of kinks that they could've ever come up with. if this ruffles your feathers, maybe that's about something else, huh.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

death wish love | explicit | 15k | buddie | post ep 8x06 | read on ao3

Eddie opening the door, casual and filled with a type of swagger Buck didn’t understand. Pantsless. Thighs on display. Flushed and sweaty in his thin button up.

Buck isn’t sure why the memory of that image makes his throat go tight. It didn’t faze him all that much at the time because he had other things on his mind and was sad enough that a true act of divinity probably wouldn’t have gotten a reaction out of him. But now–

Well, now Buck looks at Eddie. Bare legs and a hint of his thighs. That dark mark on the back of his right leg peeking out from the hem of his shorts. Hair mussed and a little damp, curling behind his ears.

The image of the Eddie in front of him now and the Eddie in front of him last night flicker back and forth on top of each other like some kind of montage or old movie reel.

And Buck feels…pink. Caught. Stomach all fizzy and turning.

or, after getting dumped by tommy and going to eddie's, buck wakes up the next morning only to be pummeled by his hangover and his attraction to eddie

AO3 link