#That would be in very bad taste

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I wonder if we could start an ongoing whump community project where people can submit prompts and stories to be read by a cast of voice actors in their respective parts? Just for funsies and building acting skills?

[cloudabserk]

who’s the strongest ninja in the world?

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[sallymew4]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW

EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[muzsmocsing]

I was perusing a big asian supermarket for tempeh and grape jelly but instead found these:

Ice cream but in His Highness the Crown Prince the Flower Crown Martial God and His Boyfriend flavors.

[tyrianludaship]

okay im kinda stupid but I don't think selfshipping with Judge Claude fucking Frollo from Hunchback of Notre Dame, is a good idea

[tswwwit]

Bless that trophy wife anon because they’re right. There’s no way mindscape citizens see whatever dipper does in the real world as a real career and he has no job in bill’s realm either, whether he likes it or not he’s entwined with bill’s world and his people and he can’t blame them for thinking his job is being bill’s husband.

That’s what pisses him off, the fact that they’re right.

No matter how Dipper protests that yes, he DOES have a job, the beings in the Fearamid don't believe it's 'real', or worse - humor him, then give Knowing Looks to the other demons in the room.

Meanwhile, Bill knows it's real - but sometimes he plays along like it isn't just to piss Dipper off.

[aqun-athlok]

haven't stopped thinking about the fact that lucanis has tried to flirt with viago by just Giving Him A Knife. he is the dumbest man ever i want him so bad.

[a-s-levynn]

"A taste of the divine" A Series of Small Offerings - IV/2 - day34

[rexxdjarin]

Open Up

Pairing: Arc Trooper Echo x f!Reader Summary: Echo likes to take things slow and help really open you up.😈 Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ Warnings: Indulgent foreplay with dirty talk and praise and encouragement and sweetness because oh he missed you so💕, fingering, relationship-y? I guess?, he's just so fucking sweet. Word Count: 1k notes: I saw a thing and could not get said thing out of my head and totally imagined echo doing this because he's indulgent and reverent and giving and sexy and we need to all be obsessed with him bc hes adorable. ok thanks :) also I am well aware the gif is TBB echo not arc trooper echo but this gif was too perfect for the scenario so I HAD to.

“C’mon, my sweet girl, open up…let me see you.” Echo coaxed as his hands drew up the soft tops of your wide thighs. You kneeled before him on your bunk sheets, looking up at the unmistakable doting brown eyes of your beloved boyfriend.

His eyes were fixated elsewhere, nudging the hem of your pretty pink lace negligee up just enough to reveal your center. Gloved hands coursed over your dark bare skin, fingertips grazing down your lower belly and leaving goosebumps in their wake. Knowing him, he’d had only one thing on his mind since he’d landed back home for a few weeks, which meant he’d had a lot of time to think about exactly how he wanted you.

Parting your plush lips freshly bitten from passionate yet agonizingly slow kisses, you inhaled a soft gasp. His own drawing into a smug grin as he watched you react to his touch just as strongly as he’d imagined. You looked up at him through lust heavy lids and met his gaze, tracing down your own torso to outline the ghosts of his touches with your own. 

“Oh…Echo-” you practically squeaked, flipping up the dainty fabric to reveal what was between your spread legs. With two deft fingers you eased your outer folds apart and let your hips roll forward enticingly to meet his touch.

“There she is…good girl. Missing me, huh? Need me to take care of you?” Echo muttered, his darkened pupils locked with yours as he slipped off his gloves. One roughened palm massaged your inner thigh, carefully holding you open. He tipped forward to lock his lips with yours just enough to leave you breathless as he let his fingertips drag down your center.

You hummed your soft approval into his kiss, holding yourself open just as his middle finger dipped into your heat. He groaned lowly, breaking away from your mouth to silently curse whatever cruel circumstances or stars or gods would ever have him apart from you. The drenched slick between your thighs coated his single digit as he dragged it reverently along the length of you.

“Oh yeah, you did. Such a good girl with this dripping little pussy. All just cause you missed me. Need me to come home and touch you like this always.” He whispered, slipping in a second finger and using both to glide around the fluttering hole desperate for his entry. You keened for more, letting your hips buck forward into him lazily.

You gripped his wrist with your other hand, urging him for more and riding his fingers needily. “Of course I.. m-missed you, baby. No one else gets to touch me like this. Only you. I need you. Need you m-more.” You whimpered, his gentle stroking along your slippery folds sending shivers down your spine. 

“Awh, pretty baby, just a little more? You’re so fucking sweet. So beautiful opening up and letting me get such a good look at you.” He leaned back, brown eyes devouring the sight of you splayed out so salaciously before him. His gentle caresses quickened, twisting his wrist to allow his fingers to curve in and enter you abruptly.

You cried out sharply as his broad fingers breached your entrance and spread you apart on top of them. It took everything in your power not to snap your hips and ride his perfectly thick fingers the way he knew you wanted to. He craved patience, he wanted to take his time properly fucking the girl he loved and the faster you sped through it the sooner he’d be to leaving again. 

“Thank you…baby. Love it just like this. Take your time. I want you to feel how much I miss you. How wet I get waiting for you to come help me. My Echo.” you moaned softly, earning another weighted groan from him. 

His fingers curled into your front wall, making you buck your hips forward into his palm and brushing your clit just briefly. He chuckled with amusement, letting go of your other thigh to twist the width of his thumb in circles across your clit. You moaned louder, the twisting of his fingers inside combining with his featherlight touches on your clit bringing you rapidly close to your first orgasm. 

“Needy little thing. Stars you’re so tight, so soaked for me. Body looks so fucking good in this too. I want to fuck you so bad, but i’m going to take my time. Going to make this last so you feel the ache of me for days. Would you like that? Want me to fuck you until you’re sore? Tell me, cyar’ika. Let me hear your pretty voice again.” Echo rambled when he was turned on, his brain emptying weeks worth of lewd thoughts to the one person he could indulge in whenever he wanted.

“Yes, Echo. Fuck me. Fuck me, please. I can’t wait any longer for your cock. Now, baby. Please.” You begged, unhinging out of desperation as his endless looping circles had you balanced precariously on the edge. The familiar sizzling that had your body beginning to overheat spread through your limbs, numbing you of any other feeling but his fingers inside you.

“Hmmm my impatient little cyar’ika. I can feel how close you are. You need to let go. Soak my fingers so you can be nice and ready for my cock. I know you can do it. Cum for me, gorgeous. Just for me.” He encouraged, leaning his forehead on yours to watch your face contort in pleasure as the wave finally sucked you under.

With a high pitched whimper you came, fluttering around two of his fingers plunging in and out of your entrance and making a smug, satisfied chuckle rumble deep in his broad chest. A giddy smile drew across his dark features and he’d barely let you catch your breath before he was slicking his cock up with your leaking cum and notching himself at your entrance. “That’s my pretty girl. You ready for more?”

[bisan-is-trying]

I want to make a joke about how witnessing Iranian missiles wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but considering everything that's been happening for the past year I would be lying

[tenwhiteandalusians]

so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[jamiesfootball]

Always lowkey simmering a Leverage AU in the back of my head hear me out:

Ted is an ex-insurance investigator who was able to get his son life-saving medical treatment because his first, original Crime Pal Beard was like ‘Ted if your company doesn’t come through with the coverage, we’re doing things my way.’

The company did not come through. The company did let him go due to suspicion of Ted’s involvement in the incident, but Ted will happily remind folks that no charges were formally pressed. Henry is alive and healthy and living with Michelle, who divorced Ted shortly thereafter (not just because of pre-existing marital problems, but because Ted wouldn’t tell her anything about why the doctors “””suddenly decided to do the procedure for free”””). Shortly thereafter, Ted fled the country.

What Ted learned from the whole experience is that there’s a lot of people out there, good people just trying to live by the rules, but sometimes things happen that are just out of their control. And well- if we’ve got the means to help the good people out when no one else will, then shouldn’t we try?

“We’ve got means,” Beard agrees. “And motives.”

They do things Beard’s way now.

[universalsatan]

okay like. i haven’t read a lot. crippling undiagnosed adhd and probably memory issues have kept me from consuming books since like elementary school. i probably finished one assigned novel in high school and i finally finished a whole novel for fun last year. i’m churning through moby dick slowly atm, but as a decent editor and writer and hence someone associated with the writing community and seeing those booktok recs or whatever…

girl tell me why the first book i open. starts with a fucking. spotify playlist. like, i was Aware that these books were wattpad-level. but i didnt think it was THAT wattpad holy shit