#That is. A weird hc/au

[edwardallenpoe]

i'm sorry what

the "canon isn't real we make our own rules" to "i am begging you people to revisit the source material" pipeline

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[itz-pandora]

I keep thinking about these guys ... Idiots....

[levemetal]

I got Procreate and gave it a test run with some silly AU sketches of course

So have Calamity SJ adopting Hong‘er! Ft. my silly calamity MNQ AU and it’s inevitable conclusion of atticwife Jun Wu in the second pic because I am no longer in control here.

SY tried to be the cool uncle, unfortunately YQY is the cooler uncle so he got the Feng Xin treatment. Binghe about to start beef with a child lmfao.

Ling Wen is new heavenly emperor and I ensure you she is as overworked as ever, but she does not care about heavenly officials marrying calamities anymore. First was YQY, and then Jun Wu. Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan are really not trendstarters here.

[zecoritheweirdone]

hey do you guys wanna see a comic for a msa au me and my friend ascel came up with? trick question yes you do. anyway- hehehehehhhoo body swap au <3.

okay quick context for this rq- this is an au where it diverges after freaking out- instead of possessing the truck, lewis ends up chasing the gang for a while, maybe a week or two? arthur and vivi don't know why this random ghost they met ages ago keeps going after them, but one things for sure- he really, really wants arthur's head on a spike.

cut to the present- arthur got separated from vivi and mystery, and lewis ends up chasing him into the woods!

[phonification]

weird hsbc adjacent ii au doodles ,,

[kitamars]

vashwood week day 6: light

but we will still live to see tomorrow’s sunrise

[al-luviec]

something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)

[mirensiart]

Okay so. Pain sharing AU. One or more Link is trans. It’s someone’s time of them month.

(No this is totally not me projecting my own current suffering whaaaaat?)

Especially if that link has particularly painful periods, ESPECIALLY if he has been looked down on/made fun of for being practically debilitated by pain for a day or two every month by fellow soldiers or something (so - wars maybe? Or Wild?) to the point where they now do their best to act like everything is fine and then the others feel it and are like “what the fuck who is straight up dying right now???” And like. Yeah Twi’s transformation pain was worse, but it was brief. This is constant for literal hours. And completely involuntary. Even overdosing on pain meds just barely makes it bearable so you can function.

(Yeah okay I’m projecting lol)

This ask is very funny cause I am ALSO currently going through my period and yeah, it does feel like that jfbdjd

Ok but, my personal and very dear headcanon is that wars is a butch, it's also why I hc him and linkle to be identical twins

So yeah, he would suffer with period pains just like that lol funnily enough, I also hc twilight as butch and I do like the idea that despite his high pain resistance, period cramps END him, he'd take wolfie any time lmao

Also, about wars, really like the idea that time&wind know about it from the war, but they're like

"dude, you weren't kidding when u said this shit SUCKS"

"You thought I was EXAGGERATING?"

"Eh well, you tend to be pretty dramatic"

Anyway, yeah lol

[driedlillies]

Tma AU where Jonah fucked up his ritual when transferring to Elias’ body and still exists but is like. On the backburner unable to control the body. Because he’s a loser. So OG Elias is able to hear everything he thinks but Jonah can’t do anything. And so he learns the evil plan to end the world and immediately decides nope that’s NOT happening.

And since James Wright appointed him as the next Head of the Institute he has full control over everything he destroys every single bit of Jonah’s carefully laid masterplan. And Jonah suffers seeing everything he’s build fall like a house of cards. At the end Elias just goes and kills Jonah — there were concerns that it may also kill him, but he was ready to sacrifice himself — and comes out alive and free from voyeristic georgian men.

Elias establishes something of a truce with Gertrude after explaining the situation and also perhaps maybe telling her that Jonah mentioned one of her assistants is of the Web and what does that mean? Also what are the rituals and why does Jonah keep saying they don’t work unless you— (Gertrude cuts him off before he says it out loud. Walls have ears. You never know who might be listening).

Michael doesn’t die. Neither does Gerry, because after he faints for the third time at the Institute — Elias doesn’t have spooky eldritch eye powers, but he has office gossip, and that’s basically the same thing — Elias personally goes down to the Archives and tells him to go to the fucking doctor dude. Gerry smokes weed with him after a few months and thanks him for potentially saving his life

By the time Gertrude dies, which is post Stranger ritual (not shot by him, but still probably not peacefully, knowing her) Sasha becomes the next Archivist, and her role in the overall world of the Fears — Elias is not an avatar, doesn’t want to be, but has some leftover traits from Jonah’s inhabitance in his body, and knows a lot — is explained before she signs any contract. Also you’re not tied for life, fuck that. There’s a mandatory Entities 101 for every employee, no matter what department they work in; the vast majority of them come here seeking answers for what really ruined their lives, none of them deserve to die because nobody tells them what they’re actually fighting against. Tim — very much alive — goes to the Archives with Sasha, Jon stays in reaserch and eventually becomes Head Researcher. Martin goes to college part time at some point. Life is good

[ethan-acfan]

Hc for eagle vision.

So we all know the theory that using eagle vision makes your eyes sort of shine gold, but I wanna take that a step further.

When Altair uses eagle vision (since he is still closely related to isu and all that), his eyes turn solid gold, including the whites of his eyes. Think the way the reader glows, but strictly your eyes. (Or when you use the flash to take a picture of a cat in a dark room and their eyes glow)

Now, by the time it's passed on to Desmond, it's been weakened, and many variants of it have made it evolve so it's not glowing as brightly, like there's still a shine but it's not full out bright light in your face. However... once he starts using it more and it gets stronger, his eyes start to glow brighter and brighter until they share the same inhuman glow that Altair had.

Many human flashlights and headlight jokes get made. But I also say this because imagine it's nighttime and you get cornered in the alley by a cloaked figure and all you see are these bright lights coming from where their eyes should be.

Needless to say, people start speculating that Altair is a god.

Now, I would also throw this onto Ezio, but I already have a headcanon where he doesn't have Eagle's vision, but a thing I call Eagle sense, where all of his senses get enhanced except for sight which he loses when he uses eagle sense (I know he canonically has EV but I enjoy making variants of ev too much, also I enjoy making desmond's ancestors similar but just different enough that it's noticeable, don't judge me)

[merry-fagoland]

making akihiko and chie cops was the dumbest fucking decision ever because i know in my heart that they're actually a physical therapist and professional racecar driver respectively

[sleepboysummer]

penny and ezra lamb are like violet and klaus baudelaire if they were evil

[blenselche]

lil Firnntress sketch

tablet has decided to be normal again idk wtf that was about

[humans-are-tasty]

[sideblogdotjpeg]

most of this dialogue was written by @stone-stars ! anyway. extremely silly impromptu comic i did . for fun question mark