#That is such an irrational thing for me to think right now

[dangerousdan-dan]

hello! do you have any daud headcanons? I miss him :')

Hi, friend!!!

I miss him so, so much. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about him xD

Here are some of the headcanons that keep me up at night.

There's a part of Daud that'll always hate Corvo for not saving Jessamine when he should've. In a way, he blames him too for what became of Dunwall, and when they faced each other in the flooded district, yes, it was about giving each other something vaguely resembling closure and about facing his consequences, but it was also about him having the chance to fight the man who (in his irrational logic) helped doom them all.

Now this is just more of my rambles about my previous headcanon. I can't stop thinking about the parallel between their first encounter in the tower and then their fight in the flooded district. How Corvo had no chance that first time, but Daud's defeat is a given once Corvo gets the mark. Of course the circumstances are different, but I feel that having the chance to fight Corvo again and to witness how goddamn good he actually is at it would only fuel Daud's spiral of You could've saved her. You could've stopped me, or it could give him another reason to hate The Outsider even more because giving the mark to the only man who could defeat him only AFTER he actually needed it to stop him could be seen as his cruelest joke. Also, I can't keep this line out of my head: "I'm the one who killed her, but you are the one who failed her." A line from the Dishonored fic I'll never write lol.

Daud loves books. I know it's kinda stupid to say this is a headcanon when it's canon that the man has his study full of the stuff, but I mean that he LOVES them. He writes and speaks with the cadence of a person who is fond of words and the meaning behind them, you know what I mean? Smoking isn't his only vice. I can imagine him stealing books from every aristocrat's home he sneaks into, and how when he's reading at night in his study he silently misses the academy's library and all the mysteries left to unravel there. (Oh, to think of all the trouble he should've gone through to keep his books in good condition and safe from all that humidity... I need a bone charm for that).

Since the moment he was abducted, he forced himself to suppress almost every thought and memory from his previous life. The only thing he perfectly remembers is that he loved his mother, even when he can't really recall more than a few details about her. (I have mixed feelings about DOTO, but Daud calling out for his mom in the void always gets to me).

Now a silly one. Among all the intel he and the whalers have collected over the years, Daud keeps a special file with all the gossip that has genuinely made him huff (or void forbid, even chuckle!!). Is it the most important information to keep around? No, but sometimes the Knife or Dunwall just wants to sit back and amuse himself with how ridiculous these people can be, and who knows, maybe it'll be useful blackmail material one day. Billie is the only one who knows this file exists and its true purpose.

He also keeps a file with all the rumors that have been told about him and the Whalers, and he carefully chooses which ones to encourage and which ones to put out.

After Corvo spares him and he leaves Dunwall, Daud tries to fall into old habits and force himself to suppress every thought of Billie and the Whalers. He fails. He swears The Outsider mocks him every time he instinctively calls on his mark just to feel the phantom pain left by the severed connections.

Daud never regrets the Whalers, nor that he taught them how to exploit their blades for coin. Most of them were already killers, anyway. He simply gave them the means to survive more than a few fights in an alleyway, right?

In a bizarre way, he sometimes even sees the Whalers, not as a family, but as an act of love (I don't think love is the word, but something at least close to it), even with the discipline and the punishments involved. Some of the whalers knew better, others saw that love as well.

To me, the Knife of Dunwall is a silent assassin who rarely engages with a target head on unless he needs to. He's methodical and professional, quiet and efficient. Unless one of his Whalers is killed. Then you'll know what it looks like when he lets himself enjoy it.

Above everything else, his biggest pride will always be Billie.

I don't believe he went fully "clean hands" after Jessamine's death. He killed, mostly for survival and when there was no other option (to him, at least), but the few times he did it, he saw Jessamine's dead eyes staring back at him.

[paulyenvol6]

Aftermath

Joel Miller x female reader (OS)

This is just 5,000 words of smut with mean Joel, hope you enjoy it :)

Contains: smut, dubcon, unprotected sex, p in v, oral (m receiving), fingering, slight breeding kink, daddy kink, mean and dom!Joel, sub!reader, pet names (bitch, slut, whore), degrading, praising, crying, punishment, spanking, gagging, rough sex, forced exhibitionism, objectification, angst, a little fluff at the end

Wordcount: ~5.53k

Masterlist

The air hit your naked arms as soon as you stepped outside the restaurant which gave you goosebumps.

Under any other circumstances you might have asked Joel for his jacket but despite feeling defiant and stubborn you knew that you had pissed him off too much already.

It was the way he stared ahead without even as much as glancing at you. All of these things he usually did like wrapping an arm around your waist or looking at you every now and then in order to make sure you were fine he didn't do right now.

"Joel," you started trying to sound as relaxed and unbothered as possible although you felt a little panicky.

"Walk," was all he answered and for a moment you stopped smoking and walking to look at him.

"What?"

Now he finally wrapped his arm around your back but not to comfort you but to drag you with him.

"Joel, what the – " "Shut up. And put this out," he hissed and forcefully pulled the cigarette out of your mouth.

'No,' you thought and turned to him. Who did he think he was treating you like a kid? You pushed at his chest while simultaneously reaching for the cigarette but he was stronger than you and quickly took hold of your wrists.

"Will you quit the fighting now?" he growled and you hated how calm he sounded while you were feeling like you were making a fool of yourself.

"Let me go," you answered but the way you dropped your head and how you were avoiding his gaze gave your true feelings away. He chuckled at you while putting the cigarette that he had just taken from you into his own mouth.

"Give it back," you demanded but only got another evil smirk in response.

"No."

"Please. I'm sorry."

He raised his eyebrows acting all surprised. "Oh you're sorry? For what?"

Why did he have to humiliate you like this every goddamn time? You chewed on your bottom lip thinking of a way not to give him exactly what he wanted but before you could even open your mouth he had already turned around to continue the short walk to his car while pulling you with him. For a second you were almost relieved figuring that he might let you off this easily but of course he wasn't finished yet.

"Answer me."

You despised how he was able to intimidate you with so little he needed to say and suddenly you felt like crying.

"I'm sorry, I… I shouldn't have spend so much time talking t-to Charles."

Your voice was barely more than a whisper and for a moment you feared he would make you repeat your apology but he remained silent which unsettled you more than anything else.

"I'm sorry, Joel," you said a little louder. "I really am."

You stood in front of the car now but neither of you intended to enter it. To be fair, he had the car keys so there was nothing you could do anyway. All of a sudden he took a stepd towards you and it was such a powerful movement that you instinctively took one back. His dark eyes laid on your face for a while until his hand slowly approached your chin.

"Not Joel," he growled dangerously. You gulped loudly and slightly shifted under his grip.

"Please, Joel, I – "

The slap came unexpected and so hard that your head turned to the side and a gasp left your mouth. Your cheek stung and at first you open-mouthedly stared at him but then the irrational side of you took over and you fought. You pushed at his chest and moved away from him but his arms came down to firmly grab your upper arms. Before you were able to form a single straight thought in your head Joel had moved you towards the car and now you were trapped between the door and his strong body.

"You best not be doin' this, kitten," he said sounding almost gleeful. "You don't want this."

He precisely watched your face while tilting his head a little as if he was waiting for an answer. But you were definitely too emotional to speak.

"You don't wanna get into more trouble than you're already in."

"Joel," you tried but were quickly interrupted as his hand came down to your neck.

"No. Try again."

"Please…," you begged him realizing now how pissed he actually was but his eyes were completely merciless. His hand slightly squeezed around your throat making you inhale greedily fearing that he might cut off your air supply.

"No. Go on, you know the word, babygirl."

"Daddy," it eventually broke out of you and his grip loosened a little while his face didn't change at all. He looked so cold that a shiver ran down your spine and you had to blink a few times.

"There… we go," he murmured and then before you could try and ask him for his forgiveness Joel had started to open his belt and you felt your heart sink.

He did not only want to use sex as a punishment for you but he also wanted it to happen here? You were definitely down for getting on your knees for him if it meant that he would forgive you but you didn't feel like doing it on a parking space where someone could walk by any minute.

And yet you kept those thoughts to yourself at first and watched his hands open his jeans. Once he was done he suddenly yanked your head back which made you shriek but he was quick to place a hand on your mouth.

"You're gonna shut the fuck up now or I'll shove somethin' way bigger than my cock down your throat, you understand me?"

You quietly whimpered but nodded with your head.

"You fucking know that ya pissed me off. You did a heck of a job with that." You closed your eyes trying to ignore the way your scalp stung under his force but he immediately shook you.

"Look at me, bitch." You couldn't help it and let out a sob which Joel utterly ignored.

"I ain't too fond of seeing some guy lookin' at ya like that. But what I hate even more – " He came even closer to you with his mouth almost brushing over your jaw "Is you enjoying it."

"I didn't, daddy. I swear it to you, I didn't enjoy it."

He laughed lowly but there was nothing warm about the sound.

"Every fucking person at the table saw it, you filthy little liar. Everyone saw you blinking your eyes and giving him that goddamn stupid smile like you're nothing but a empty-headed slut that's pretty to look at."

Tears collected in the corner of your eyes and you knew that if he continued to talk to you that way it would be a matter of seconds until they would roll down your face.

"Please, daddy. I'm sorry… I… I really am. I only want you, please."

He cruelly smirked and suddenly roughly grabbed your left breasts through the fabric of your shirt.

"I know ya do. 'Cause when it comes down to it ya run back to daddy thinking he'll fix everything. You think you can act like a whore and then come back to me at the end of the day, spread your legs an' everythin' will be fine. Daddy's gonna protect and forgive ya 'cause you're such a sweet l'il thing."

You felt the familiar feeling of your nipple hardening under his rough hand and when he ran his thumb over the bud you gasped.

"Yeah, s'right. Wanna hear you moan. Wanna hear you proving my fucking point."

He was so close to you now that you felt his bulge pressing against your center and you couldn't help but slightly grind against him.

"S'not gonna go on like this," he growled and forcefully removed your hands that had started to pull at his arms by pinning them to the car next to your body.

"I have a feeling you need a lesson in how to behave yourself. 'Cause you ain't gonna go around throwing yourself against those pretty boys any longer. I'm gonna remind you who this little body belongs to. And 'cause my words ain't enough to make you obey me I'll find a different way."

His hand returned to its previous position on your chest and he roughly kneaded the flesh. You were stunned and felt the blood rushing in your cheeks while looking down to his big hand connected to your body.

"D-Daddy," you whined and desired some stimulation on your clit so badly that you rocked your core against his thigh between your legs. You just couldn't help yourself. Joel granted you the space for a few seconds before removing his hands from your body.

"On your fucking knees," he hissed and in the dim light his eyes looked so dark that you couldn't make out his pupils. For some reason it unsettled you because he watched you like a predator examining his prey. An animal thinking about what it would do to its victim.

You were torn from your thoughts when Joel grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you down.

"I said. On your fucking knees. Or do I have to make you?"

You placed your hands on his trying to prevent him from ripping out your hair while your face was distorted in pain.

"Please Daddy, do I have to do it here? Where someone could watch?"

"Do you think you're in the position to demand anything of me right now?" he spoke through grinded teeth and increased the force with which he pulled you down. It was simply too much now because you felt you had no choice but to move to the ground and suddenly you found yourself kneeling in front of him.

"I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna be good, I swear. But please, in the car at least?" you begged and didn't care how pathetic you must look to him. It was even harder to make out his facial expression from the position you were in now so all you could do was wait for his answer. And it came. In the form of his cock.

He pulled down his jeans just so much that he could free his already hard cock. As always you looked at his member with wide eyes thinking that he definitely was the biggest you had ever seen. He was veiny, thick and long and… beautiful.

Before you had met Joel you had often caught yourself thinking that the male genitals were a little disgusting if you were being honest with yourself and that you could pretty much do without a man's cock when you were being intimate with someone. But then you had seen him for the first time and from this moment on you felt like touching him at all times.

He felt so good in your hand; so heavy and soft and when you twirled your tongue around his tip you could taste his saltiness and your favourite part was when he twitched inside of your mouth. And you didn't even want to start with having him inside of you. When he fucked you nice and slow you could feel every inch and every vein so intensely. He could reach so deep inside of you that he sometimes hit your cervix and when he found the right angle he managed to hit that spongy spot inside of you while his balls simultaneously stimulated your clit.

But now… Now he was angry and you knew he wouldn't make it easy for you.

"Open," his husky voice ordered you and you stuck out your tongue just the way he liked it.

You put everything in your eyes; everything that he wanted to see when he intended to punish you. Submissiveness, weakness, vulnerability, obedience. Because as much as he felt like you needed to be reminded of your place, he needed to be reminded that you were his and that he could do everything he wanted to you as well. That you needed him and were fully dependend on him.

Even in the darkness you could see something glistening in his eyes and then he pushed two fingers in your mouth.

"Suck," he said but you wouldn't have needed the command.

Your tongue immediately swirled around the digits as if it was the tastiest thing you've ever had in your mouth and when you heard Joel quietly moan you felt a little more hopeful again. You would show him, prove him how good you were and how eager you were to please him.

The first time you struggled a little was when he went deeper. You didn't have a very strong gagging reflex but at some point you couldn't help it and let out a sound of displeasure. You didn't even know whether Joel did this to prepare you for his cock and this was an act of kindness or he simply wanted to see you choke on his fingers before entering you but based on his current state of mind you assumed it was the first.

Your hands gripped his jeans while he forced his fingers down your throat and you felt spit running out of the corner of your mouth. This would be messy but you were beyond the point of caring about anything that didn't surround him.

"Take it, kitten. C'mon, be a good girl for daddy."

And you wanted to be good so badly. You had hurt him, betrayed him although you wanted him to be able to trust you. How could you have done this after Joel had been so kind to you? Suddenly you felt more tears welling in your eyes and you weren't certain if they were caused by the intrusion or your sudden sadness.

He pushed deeper, so deep that you thought if he went an inch deeper you would have to beg him to stop but then it was suddenly over.

You blinked twice and Joel clearly used your astonishment to swiftly insert his cock into your still open mouth and he sighed deeply once he felt the wetness and warmth of it. "Fuck…"

In the meantime you were trying to adjust to his size and find a way to properly inhale. You forced yourself to breathe steadily and did everything in your power to ignore the way his tip grazed the back of your throat. 'Don't think about it, don't think about it,' was you mantra because you knew if you really paid attention to how deep he actually was it would only worsen everything. Instead you concentrated on your lips and how they tightly wrapped around his shaft.

At first Joel enjoyed taking in the way you felt around him but then he began to fuck your throat as if you were nothing but a little toy for him to get off. His hand grabbed the back of your head holding you in place and then he backed out a little only to take your throat all the way.

You whimpered and noticed the fresh tears burning in your eyes but didn't dare to complain. He simply didn't care. He would take you the way he wanted, use your throat and do whatever it was he craved. And right now it seemed like he wanted to destroy your mouth.

"Holy shit," Joel cursed and put his left hand on the car for support. "Can't believe m'not doing this all the fucking time. Need to remind myself of how good your little throat feels more often, mhm?"

He lightly slapped your cheek with his hand which caused you to moan and him humming in satisfaction as the vibrations of your mouth stimulated his cock so perfectly.

"Where am I gonna put my cum, huh? Any preferences, baby?" he laughed about his own words being well–aware that even if you wanted to say something, you weren't able to and then watched you thoughtfully.

"Maybe m'gonna make you choke on it. Or paint your pretty face. I think it would look good mixed with your little tears."

All you could do was just look at him and wait. It wasn't your decision to make after all and so you just tried your best to hold back the sound of you gagging around him.

Soon you sensed that he grew closer to his release as his thrusts became more sloppy and his grunts became louder and all you prayed for was that he wouldn't come down your throat. You were already sore, your jaw was aching and you needed a moment of peace as quickly as possible.

Perhaps it was the first time that you were in luck tonight because Joel seemed to have made a choice and suddenly pulled out of you.

"Stick your tongue out, baby," he growled darkly and then threw his head back. "Ohh fuck… Yeah, that's it…. Take it all."

You sat patiently obediently looking up to him with an open mouth and for a moment felt very proud of yourself for having followed his demands so well. Joel pumped himself over and over again until he was sure he had emptied himself entirely and then really looked at you again.

You must have been a sight with your hair sticking to your forehead, tears and cum covering your face while there certainly was drool running down your chin. The corner of his mouth twitched and then he slapped your cheek, softer now than before.

And yet it frustrated you because you had believed he would be more gentle with you now and some part of you had even assmued that your punishment would be over now.

"Open your legs," he hissed and his foot moved between your knees to part them. You wore a long skirt so it was easy to do as he had told you and you spread them all while still having your teary eyes on him.

"Touch yourself. On your clit."

You frowned but slipped your hand past the elastic waistband of your skirt and then began to rub your clit through your panties.

"Can't I – " you started but were immediately interrupted by Joel.

"No, you can't stand up. Little whores like you belong on the ground. Y'can be glad I allow you to prepare yourself a little and don't just fuck you like this an' split you open."

As if you actually needed the preparation. You were dripping, your arousal soaking your panties but for the first time you actually weren't quite sure if Joel did this for you. There was no other reason for him to demand this of you apart from making sure you were well-prepared and wet for him. Well, you definitely felt humiliated and degraded kneeling in front of him on the dirty ground while touching yourself so if this was his intention he was succeeding, but it was not worse than having your throat destroyed the way he had just done.

You went in tight circles around your clit, just the way you liked it which felt good and yet you craved Joel's hands on you. His big hands touching you gently and softly everywhere you liked it. In these moments you felt so safe and protected and suddenly a new wave of anxiety hit you hard.

You were supposed to lay in his arms instead of sitting here in front of him. He looked so tall and powerful while you couldn't remember ever feeling so pathetic. And you hated how angry he looked as there was no sign of love or warmth on his face.

It started when you felt your hands trembling which disturbed your movement on your clit after a while. And then it was your bottom lip shaking and soon your whole body shivered uncontrolled. Joel didn't notice at first or perhaps he didn't care. He palmed himself at the sight of you letting out little sighs every now and then but when there were new tears coating your cheeks and your eyes weren't on him anymore he reached down to cup your chin.

"Babygirl," he whispered and lifted your head but you refused to look at him feeling too embarrassed.

"Look at me." You shook your head again and now also stopped rubbing your clit.

"I want you to look at me. Now."

Silence.

"Don't make me fuckin' repeat myself, kitten."

At this point you couldn't refuse anymore because you feared the consequences of your resistance. It didn't really matter anyway because your sight was so blurry that you could barely make out Joel's face but what you could see was the way he lifted his eyebrows.

"Y'know ya got yourself in this position, right? You know why I'm doin' this."

You blinked and bit your lip in order to surpress a cry. "Answer me. I wanna know you're fuckin' listenin' to me."

His grip on your chin tightened and you nodded with the amount of space he was giving you. "Yes. I know."

You felt embarrassed again by how thin and weak your voice sounded but Joel didn't give any time to think about it because he was already opening his mouth again.

"Good. You acted like a little slut. And you need to get punished for it. But what I can see right now is you bawling your eyes out like a little girl 'cause it ain't feel as good as you would've liked. Is that right, huh?"

You nodded because what else were you supposed to do? Deny it? Fight back? It would only make him more mad.

"So lemme tell you that it's supposed to be like that. You're supposed to feel pathetic 'cause you are pathetic. I wanna make you see what happens when you ignore my words. And now you're gonna swallow it up and do as I tell you. If not we're gonna leave but believe me darlin', you're gonna hate it even more than this. 'Cause I ain't gonna be nice to you until you took your fucking punishment. 'Cause you fuckin' deserve it." 

He waited for you to react to his words and you nodded again.

"Okay," you breathed and tried to hold back the next wave of tears.

"You're gonna take it now?"

You hiccuped once but meant it when you whispered "Yes." Joel dropped your head at once as if he had burned himself and went back to massaging his cock.

"Go on. Want your pussy nice 'an wet for me when I fuck you."

And so you continued what you had started and went over your clit with your thumb. It felt good but you feared that you were too emotionally loaded to orgasm but luckily Joel didn't have this much patience anyway. He watched your kneeling figure for a few minutes while touching himself and then when he was hard enough again his feet that was still resting between your knees tapped against your thigh.

"Up," he commanded and you rose with wobbly knees. For a moment you were dizzy, having sat on the ground for quite a while now but Joel didn't care or didn't notice because he immediately turned you around so your back was pressed to his chest.

He adjusted you like you were a rag doll, your flat hands against the car, your legs slightly spread and your skirt pulled up so your ass was exposed to the cold air. You couldn't see what he was doing which freaked you out so you turned around to look at him over your shoulder.

He was looking down to where his cock stood hard against his abdomen and then before you could even register his hand movement he slapped your ass. Hard.

Your teeth sank in your lower lip and when Joel ran hand over where it had come down you hissed out.

"C'mon. Let me hear you. Let it out, babygirl."

Now that you were standing up again his voice was louder against your ear and you felt goosebumps on your arms. Everything about this was so familiar with his strong body pressed against you, his scent in your nose and his voice sending tingles through your body. And yet, with the way he treated you as if he hated you, you couldn't feel more distant from him. Like he would rather see you gone.

He pulled down your panties to fully reveal what laid between your legs to him.

"Daddy," you whispered without even noticing that the sound had slipped past your lips.

"What, babygirl?" he answered and you quietly shrieked when you felt his tip sliding through your folds.

"Need you," you choked and when you felt his finger at your hole checking your wetness your hands reached behind you to touch his arm. You just needed something. Some assurance that he was still there for you despite his anger and disappointment.

"God, fuckin' drippin' all over me. You got off on this? Filthy little slut."

He pushed two fingers inside of you but seemed to decide that you really didn't need the preparation so he just thrusted inside of you twice and then pulled back again.

"Daddy," you whimpered again not sure what you were asking for and now Joel finally took his eyes off your pussy to look at you.

"What," he grunted sounding more than pissed and as a reaction your hand on his arm tightened.

"Please. Please, need you."

"Shut up. I swear to god, I don't wanna hear another sound coming out of your mouth if it's not your sweet voice moanin' f'me."

With these words he removed your hands from his body and before you could blink he was inside of you stretching you so well that your eyes became round as coins.

"Huh," you gasped and suddenly felt very grateful for the car in front of you because you really needed something to hold on to. Joel gave you a brief moment to adjust although he perhaps simply needed a second to take in your pussy as well and then started to move inside of you.

"Oh fuck… That's a nice little pussy. Takin' me so fuckin' well…"

His thrusts were deep and forceful as if he wanted to make sure you felt every inch of him and that you were reminded of who the only person was who got to be inside of you.

"Mhmm…. You like that, babygirl? Like gettin' that pussy stretched?"

The whimper he got as a response seemed to be enough for him because he removed your hair to expose your neck and started to cover it with kisses and bitemarks. It was his first affectionate gesture since you had left the restaurant and although his teeth buried in your skin stung you felt relieved and grateful.

Every rational thought was banned from your mind. You had forgotten where you were, that this place wasn't appropriate to get your pussy fucked and that any person leaving the restaurant and walking to their car could see you.

His cock had taken over your mind. His voice, his beard stubble grazing over your neck. His hands on your hips holding you in place while he took from you what he wanted. And you wanted him to take and take until you were utterly consumed by him. Until you couldn't function without him and he was the only thing on your mind for all times.

And then when his hand reached around your hip to search for your clit you thought that it might be over. Your eyes rolled back and you bit your lip in an attempt to hold back the loud moan threatening to leave your mouth. Joel went in circles around your clit, pressing into the bundle of nerves every now and then and it was so good you felt your toes curl.

"Fuck," you pressed through closed teeth and felt your mind getting so clouded you forgot why he was even mad at you.

"I want ya to come f'me, baby. Want ya to soak my cock and clench 'round me. C'mon."

He slapped your ass at his words and increased the pace with which he stimulated your clit.

"Y-Yes," you pressed feeling the urge to communicate with him all of the sudden. "I-I… I wanna come, daddy."

His deep thrusts moved you against the car over and over again which hurt your hip bone that hit the door each time but you didn't care. Joel's mouth brushed over your hair, kissing you softly, but his hand that now moved around your upper body to wrap around your neck was in stark contrast to his gentle gesture. His iron grip prevented you from inhaling fresh air and for a moment you panicked and scratched his arm.

"Fuckin' relax. S'only gonna get worse if you fight back."

He held you in place like this and now you truly felt like a fuck toy. There was nothing you could do, his presence controlling every single one of your senses and eventually he made you come.

You were definitely too fucked out to tell him but Joel quickly noticed how you clenched around him and let out a satisfied growl.

"There ya go, honey." His hand between your legs slapped your clit which made you jolt and your head fell back on his shoulder.

"That's right, babygirl…"

You were too exhausted to even moan or say something so you just allowed these overwhelming feelings to spread throughout your body and you devoured every second of it.

Meanwhile Joel continued to use your body for his pleasure fucking you deep and moaning at the way your tight walls clenched and then soon he was about to come as well.

"Fuck yes, baby. Gonna fill ya up so good. You want that, huh? Wanna get knocked up by me?"

His hand squeezed your throat while his cock repeatedly pounded your sore pussy so roughly that you already knew you wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow.

"Who's body is this, babygirl? Tell me. Who's the only fuckin' person who gets to fuck this pussy? An' make her cum?"

You slightly tilted your head to look at him better while your trembling hands held on to his arms.

"It's your body, daddy. Only yours to look at and fuck."

He pressed down on your hips in order to trap you between his body and the car and then he finally came for the second time tonight and let out a deep grunt.

"Hell, yeah. That's it…"

Joel slowed down until he didn't move inside of you anymore but he didn't pull out yet. You on the other hand were hit by your post-orgasm blues and tightly clung to his arms while trying to turn around.

Suddenly you craved his presence and touch so badly that you let out a desperate cry and searched for his eyes. At some point Joel's gaze moved to your face and he noticed how needy you were. First he chuckled lowly but then he actually pulled out of you and turned your weak body around.

Your hands immediately moved to his chest and your hands gripped the fabric of his shirt while you pressed your face in the crouch of his neck.

"Baby…," he murmured and placed a hand on the back of your head.

Fearing that he might reject you or remove your hands from him you shook your head and thought that nothing could separate you from him right now. His big hand cradled your head and then his other hand wrapped around your back.

"Oh babygirl," he hummed and kissed your brow. "Look at me for a second."

You anxiously looked up to him but didn't move an inch away from his strong chest.

"Lemme get ya home. Then we can cuddle, alright?"

"N-No," you whimpered feeling as though letting go of him would be the worst thing that could happen right now but his hands firmly grabbed your shoulders.

"You know it's not a long drive. You're gonna get a cold if we'll stay here any longer. Just gonna drive us home and then you can go straight to bed."

You hesitated for a moment and questioningly watched him.

"Are you gonna stay with me, daddy?"

He smiled and a warmth filled your stomach. Or maybe it was the butterflies that were woken up. In either case, you realized how much you had missed his smile.

"Of course, babygirl. Gonna stay with ya all night."

You nodded slowly and took the hand he offered you. Although you felt a stitch in your stomach when you straightened up and immediately missed hearing his heartbeat, you allowed Joel to lead you to the other side of the car and entered it once he had opened the door.

Then within seconds he sat next to you and watched your face with warm eyes.

"You know I love ya, mhm?" he said with a low voice and you nodded while toying with your fingers.

"I love you too."

He started the car.

"Don't forget that, darlin'. Never."

[hy6erion]

Hii!! I love your writing, esp the last Mel one!! Also, the actual aesthetic of your profile is so cute

If it's alright to request, I'd love one with Mel x fem!reader where the reader is very femme but, maybe a bit insecure about clothes and such

Doesn't have to be a really big thing, but a little bit of comfort would be cute!!

Thank youu (　＾▽＾)!!

𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 - 𝐌𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✰⍣..𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮-𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫

⇢𝐧𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧, 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ), 𝐰𝐥𝐰

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮!!! (≧◡≦) 𝐢 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲!!

The dress was undeniably beautiful. Soft pink silk, delicate straps, a bodice adorned with tiny pearls that caught the light like dewdrops. The skirt flowed in gentle waves, airy and romantic, the kind of thing that looked like it belonged in a fairy tale. It was the exact kind of dress you should love—because you did love dresses like this. You loved the dreamy aesthetic, the soft fabrics, the lace, the bows. You had always gravitated toward pastels, florals, frills, and anything delicate and beautiful.

And yet, standing in front of the mirror, wrapped in all that softness, you hesitated.

The fit was perfect, sculpted to your figure in a way that should have made you feel graceful and poised. But instead, there was an uneasy twist in your stomach, an irrational voice whispering that maybe you were trying too hard. That maybe, next to Mel, with her effortless elegance and commanding presence, you just looked… childish. Frivolous.

You traced the lace-trimmed neckline with your fingertips, staring at your reflection. The ribbons in your hair, the dainty heels on your feet, even the soft pink gloss on your lips—it was all exactly how you liked to present yourself. But somehow, you felt like you were playing dress-up in a way that wasn’t quite right.

A sigh, warm and amused, ghosted over your shoulder.

“You’re doing that thing again,” Mel murmured.

Before you could protest, she was there, standing behind you, her presence grounding. She was already dressed—gold jewelry glittering against her deep brown skin, a satin slip dress draped elegantly over her figure, the rich, warm hue complementing her in a way that looked completely effortless. She was regal, as always. The kind of woman who could walk into any room and own it without saying a word.

Meanwhile, you felt like a porcelain doll, pretty but fragile, overly styled and unsure.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “I wanted to wear this, but now it just feels… silly.”

Mel arched a perfectly sculpted brow. “Silly?”

You shifted, struggling to put words to the unease creeping up your spine. “Like I’m trying too hard,” you confessed. “Like it looks good on the hanger, but on me, it just… I don’t know. It feels like I’m playing pretend.”

Mel studied you for a long moment, her golden gaze sharp but unreadable. Then, without a word, she reached for your hand, guiding you gently away from the mirror and toward the velvet chaise in the corner of the room.

“Sit,” she said, and you obeyed.

She knelt in front of you—an unfamiliar sight, given that Mel Medarda did not kneel for anyone—but there was nothing submissive about the way she held herself. She was deliberate, assured, in complete control. And when her fingers found your ankle, carefully undoing the strap of your delicate heel, you didn’t stop her.

“Mel—”

“Shh,” she chided, slipping the shoe off before moving to the other. “I want you to listen to me.”

You swallowed, watching as she set the heels aside, then ran her hands up your calves, tracing slow, deliberate lines up your bare legs. Not seductive, just… steadying.

“You don’t feel out of place in this because it doesn’t suit you,” she said. “You feel out of place because you think you need to be something else.” Her hands skimmed over the ruffled hem of your dress. “But you don’t.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but she silenced you with a knowing look.

“I mean it,” she continued, voice softer now. “You wear bows and pearls and lace like they were made for you. And they were.” Her hands slid up to your waist, gathering the silk in her fingers as she leaned in, brushing a kiss against your bare shoulder. “You look like a dream. And I don’t want you second-guessing that just because you think there’s a ‘better’ way to exist next to me.”

You exhaled, shoulders slumping. “It just feels like… I don’t know. You always look so effortlessly powerful, and next to you, I feel so soft. Too soft.”

Mel chuckled, warm and indulgent. “Darling, softness is not weakness.” She cupped your face then, tilting it up so you had no choice but to meet her gaze. “You command attention without saying a word, just like I do. You just do it differently.”

Your fingers curled against the silk of your skirt. “…Do you really think so?”

Mel sighed, exasperated but affectionate. “You are the most stunning woman in any room you enter, and I should not have to keep reminding you of that.”

You bit your lip, a reluctant smile forming. “I just like hearing you say it.”

Mel’s lips curled. “Of course you do.”

She rose then, extending her hand, and when you took it, she pulled you smoothly to your feet. Then, with a slow, deliberate touch, she reached up to adjust the tiny pink bow in your hair, smoothing her fingers over it with something almost reverent.

“Wear the dress,” she said simply. “And wear it because you love it. Not because you think you have to prove something.”

You studied her for a moment, the way she was looking at you—like there was no one else in the world worth looking at. Like every ruffle, every ribbon, every pearl was exactly where it should be.

And maybe, just maybe, you started to believe her.

[isfjmel-phleg]

🫥

[emometalhead]

.

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[pochapal]

girl who deserves a gold sticker for having a mature and measured relationship conversation instead of letting the self sabotage tendencies win

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

[immortalsins]

trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in

[cielosuerte]

something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon

[waitineedaname]

wild how having something weird with your brain will have your brain reacting weirdly to things that are nice and good

[sapphygolucky]

i'd like to get off mr bones wild ride now pls

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep

[sensitivedead]

.

[goyurim]

exceptionally talented girls are on tumblr oversharing about their mistakes in the tags