#Thanks Mori for showing me it

[the-spiral-avatar21]

I just love gay pirates

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I have a question for you guys.

I was rewatching Yosano's backstory episode (and cried again. what of it?) but something this time caught my attention.

In the scene where Fukuzawa and Mori are fighting and Fukuzawa angrily tells him his plans "lack humanity"... is the word they both use... not "kokoro"?

It would appear to be, from this manga translation. If that really is the choice of word, that's really interesting, because one of irl Natsume-sensei's most well-known books is the novel Kokoro.

What does this mean? Is Mori really following the plan Natsume laid out for them? Is he derailing from the initial plan with the exclusion of "heart/humanity"? Did Natsume intend for "heart" to be sacrificed in the name of defense? Or is this conflict, with "heart" at the center, exactly what Natsume needed for this plan to work?

And on Mori's end: this isn't his usual cold, impeccable logic. This is anger that Fukuzawa is getting in the way. More than that, it almost seems to me like Mori has a paranoid streak. Check this out here:

To be quite honest with you, Mori sometimes makes weird calls that imo aren't the best decisions - and they're all out of some fear he has, typically over the protection of the city and the country. Mori's takeover of the Port Mafia is seen as overall a good thing - because the previous boss grew increasingly paranoid and started ordering unnecessary violence, something Mori himself wishes to avoid whenever possible. Yet his projection onto Dazai causes issues during the Mimic incident - sure it was logically sound, but he lost Dazai for it. Was it really then the best solution there was? And what about Yosano - so caught up in what she could prove and what she meant for the war effort that he failed to consider her taking drastic action out of sheer despair? It's interesting that Mori, who advises others on not letting their fears and emotions get in the way of strategy, is prone to the same thing at times. Might he get worse at this kind of miscalculation? It'd be altogether kind of tragic if he messes up later in the story out of paranoia, considering his predecessor's legacy...

Edit: I changed the last bit, as it's left somewhat unclear if part of Mori's reasoning in the whole Mimic incident was to get Dazai away from him - in fact, it's likely that wasn't the case at all and Dazai was just saying this to intentionally get under his skin. Unfortunately I am a bit of dumbass who misinterpreted this line on first read, and now read it differently:

He's sticking with the logicality of it - one person's life for a gifted business permit is a worthwhile sacrifice, even if it drove away his right hand man. Either way, whether it's projection (Dazai is just like me, so he'll understand) or paranoia (he is going to inevitably kill me someday - which is still kinda projection imo) or some combination of the two - I think the original point still stands: maybe focusing all your efforts on ensuring you're always prepared for some eventuality or other means you overlook things you deem less important or irrelevant. Maybe removing heart from your decisions... isn't actually the best call in the end.

[tricitymonsters]

Moris toe pics confirmed all you need now is onlyfans he would need the money

Is there an onlypaws for furries, I feel like he'd make bank and it wouldn't be hard to convince people he's just wearing the world's most well made fursuit.

[kyouka-supremacy]

what do you think happened to Akutagawa's coat? I mean we saw that Atsushi left the submarine without the coat, where do you think it could be? do you think Atsushi lost the coat or left it somewhere??

I think it was implied to have been lost, as much as I can hate the thought of it. Atsushi isn't shown carrying it after landing on the beach, and the idea of him minding to carefully store it for Akutagawa... Doesn't really sit right you know, Atsushi isn't used to care for Akutagawa. I guess we'll have to see, because we still don't know how Atsushi's feelings have changed for Akutagawa– although, as for his thoughts in chapter 88 it doesn't seem like they've changed all that much (╥﹏╥) We'll probably learn more about how Atsushi's perception of Akutagawa has changed when he'll (hopefully) meet him at the airport. Who knows, it's possible that maybe then Atsushi will take out the coat to try and make Akutagawa come back to senses*: I feel like if there's anyone who's gonna pull off a “I know you're still there”, then it's going to be sskk.

If Akutagawa ends up surviving, it would be sweet to have a nice moment with Atsushi returning the coat to Akutagawa (fic writers LOVE the scenario), but realistically we know it's not going to happen (@/Asagiri prove me wrong challenge)– if anything it sounds more likely we'll have Akutagawa with his coat back no explanation given lmao. If his coat really got lost at sea, I just KNOW Akutagawa would dive to the bottom of the ocean to get it once he got back to his senses: after all, he already did it once (I'm not kidding peoples for some insane reason Akutagawa free diving to inhuman depths is literally canon).

If Akutagawa is dead-dead, I really need his coat to become integral part of Atsushi's outfit. I don't care if it'll never happen. It just makes so much sense on so many levels. Atsushi coming to a huge character development that shows directly in his appearance: him letting go of his very black and white worldview to understand that even bad people can do good, and that being reflected in his apparence changing from being predominantly white to having a balance of black and white. Atsushi every day carrying with him a reminder of all the pain and death the doa attack caused. Atsushi keeping a memorial of his long date dead rival wherever he goes to motivate himself by reminding that even if his soulmate-enemy is gone, he must carry on fighting with everything he's got for him too (no homo). If the whole yin yang / two faces of the same coin metaphor can't apply anymore, it's only fair Atsushi becomes a synthesis of the both of them, you know? Akutagawa's memory living on through him. But also, I just think Atsushi really deserves a coat?? There's this curious pattern of coats being particularly common between important characters in bsd (Dazai wore a coat in Dark Era and still wears a coat with his ada outfit, Akutagawa wears a coat, Chuuya wears a coat, Mori wears a coat, and even Beast Akutagawa, Atsushi and Dazai all wear coats. It's hard to think of it being a coincidence or lazy character design); I feel it's about time the protagonist starts wearing one too?

* Although there is no way Atsushi could have schemed it as he has no idea Akutagawa has been vampirized and is currently milling about, unless someone else informed him in the meanwhile.

[basilthymee]

two moths... two mothes... two of them... two.. (2) woahg...

(feat. @splynter's marble)

[annievrse]

the secret of us

chuuya x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: mori makes an unfortunate discovery w/c: 1.5k c/w: nsfw [mdni!!] (nothing too explicit just heavy petting & slight dry humping), secondhand embarrassment lol

"What am I going to do with the two of you?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Elise giggle, and you roll your eyes. You stay silent, and through sheer will, so does Chuuya.

"This is highly inappropriate, especially for two of my best executives," Mori sighs, rubbing his forehead. Your boss looks annoyed and flustered, considering the situation he just found you in. "Imagine if it was one of your subordinates."

"I would've told them to enjoy the show," Chuuya mumbles. Mori shoots him a disapproving look, and you shake your head without looking at him, trying your hardest to suppress a smile.

Half an Hour Earlier...

"Nakahara," You greet, stepping into the main meeting room at the Port Mafia base. You hold up a folder when he looks up from the table, surrounded by his subordinates.

Chuuya's eye glints when he says your name back. Then he turns to his inferiors, and his face morphs into a scowl. "Get out."

They all rush out around you, some tripping over their feet but all refusing to look you in the eye.

When the door finally closes, Chuuya flicks his hand out, the lock on the door turning.

"Got a report to give me, doll?" He teases, spreading his legs wide and patting his lap. "C'mere."

You twist your lips to stop a shy smile from breaking and walk toward him.

"Maybe," You say. "Maybe not."

The way he sits is intimidating, and if you hadn't known him for so long, you'd be scared of him. His chunky boots are on display, thanks to the hem of his pants rising. Your eyes flicker to his arms crossed over his chest, his lean biceps visible through the white material of his dress shirt. He must've removed his coat halfway through the meeting with his faction. And then your gaze drifts to his face. He wears a knowing smirk, and his blue eyes gleam in the setting sun through the large window. His hair looks particularly red in the warm light, and you want to brush the stray strands off his face.

Chuuya hums and guides your hips to sit on his lap. His gloved fingers are hot through the fabric of your pants, and you're sure your suit is going to burn off your body any second.

You place the folder on the table and shift so you're straddling his thighs.

He nods at the plastic sleeve lazily. "What's it about?"

You shrug. "Boss wanted me to bring it to you."

Chuuya nods and runs his hands up your thighs. You tuck his loose hair behind his ears, pushing some off his forehead.

"Quit that," He mumbles but makes no effort to move. You shake your head and brush your thumbs over his cheekbones. He says your name with a warning.

"Yes?" You ask, a smile on your face. Leaning forward, you press your lips against his forehead, then his cheeks, leaving red lipgloss marks in your path.

Chuuya scoffs in reply. "Brat."

You gape at him teasingly. "That's no way to talk to me."

"I guess you're right," He says, grabbing onto your ass before standing up and sitting you on the table. You bite your tongue to stop the yelp that climbs your throat at his sudden movement. "Guess I have to make it up to you."

"I guess you do." You exhale sharply when you feel his gloveless hands under your shirt. When did he take those off?

Chuuya's fingers dance on your back as you pull him closer by his bolo tie. Between your thighs, he presses himself against you, and you know you've teased him enough. Your legs circle around his hips, and you bring his face closer. Chuuya meets you halfway, lips crushing in a searing kiss. You lift your hands to his hair and slide his hat off, tossing it somewhere in the room.

Before he can pull away and complain or lecture you about the hat's intricate details, you find yourself breathing heavily from your nose as you exchange open-mouthed kisses. It’s hard and hungry, and soon, your coat is on the floor, your shirt following.

“Off,” You mutter against his lips, your fingers grasping his waist before fisting the material of his shirt and tugging it. “This needs to come off.”

"Where's your manners?" Chuuya snarls before pulling it over his head so there's no chance for you to break the buttons. He's replaced so many.

You don't reply, barely hearing him as you run your hands down his lean torso. Chuuya leans over you and pushes you gently onto the table. The wood is cold on your back, and you wrap your arms around his neck to bring his lips to yours.

He rubs his crotch against yours, and the delicious size of him makes you moan into his mouth. You tighten your thighs around him; the friction is so good it's almost painful.

"Fuck, doll..." Chuuya groans back, his fingers playing with the clasp on your bra.

You're so lost in your own mind and Chuuya's touch that you don't hear the lock turning and the door opening.

It's not until someone clears their throat and the breeze from the hallway causes goosebumps to gloss your skin that you're jumping up. You nearly headbutt Chuuya as you do so, arms retracting from his shoulders to cover your chest.

"The fuck?..." Chuuya spits, but his face drains when he sees who is at the door. "Boss—"

"Get dressed," Mori sighs. "My office."

And then he leaves, the shadow of him still lingering in the doorway as you button up your shirts in silence.

"Bets on whose getting fired first?" You say, picking up Chuuya's hat and putting it on your head.

"Shut it," He snaps, and you see the anger and lust in his eyes. Anger at Mori for barging in unannounced like this meeting room was your bedroom. Lust for obvious reasons. The sight makes you giggle.

"I hope he doesn't keep us long, I actually have a meeting at 5." Chuuya side-eyes you as you leave the room, pointedly ignoring your comment.

"Oh!" You pause in the hallway before Mori's office and turn to your boyfriend. "C'mere."

"Why?" His face screws up in irritation. And when you start wiping his cheeks, his face flushes red. "You just had to do that, didn't you?"

You tilt your head, wiping the last remnants of your lipgloss from his skin. "You're pretty."

Chuuya scowls and lets you kiss his cheek. "Let's get this over with."

Now...

Mori covers his face with his hands. "You know what this could mean for both of you if this gets out. Yes?"

Dread pours over your body like hot oil. Nodding, you glance at your boyfriend. His previous devilish look is gone, and in its place is carefully constructed fear that took you almost seven years to detect.

"It means," Mori says, assuming you and Chuuya don't know exactly what he's implying. "If anyone outside the PM finds out, they could use you against each other. Which is something this organisation doesn't need."

"Nobody knows," You blurt, wiping your sweaty palms on your dress pants. "We've told nobody about this."

Mori raises an eyebrow. "And how long has nobody known?"

If you'd been hiding this for no longer than a month, maybe you'd get out of this fine. Maybe Mori would understand and send you on your way unscathed. Maybe.

"Since we were sixteen."

Mori's mouth opens just a centimetre before he closes it again. He's stunned you've been able to keep this under wraps for so long. "Six years?"

"We are 22, yes?" You ask with a sickly sweet smile on your face. It's dangerous getting smart with the boss, but you're beyond uncomfortable and want to leave as soon as possible. You feel Chuuya's eyes burning a hole in the side of your face for being so careless.

"I see," Mori mumbles, ignoring the hysterical giggles coming from Elise. "Very well."

You raise your eyebrows at the lack of response. Chuuya visibly relaxes beside you.

"There's no way to punish you for this unprofessional behaviour, but if it's not affecting the organisation's function or your relationship with your subordinates, I don't care."

"But," Mori continues, his eye getting that authoritative glint. "You'll be assigned different missions from now on. There is to be no contact out on the field. Am I clear?"

"Dammit," Chuuya curses. "Are you kidding?"

"Yes, sir," You nod.

"Boss, that's bullshit, and you know it."

Mori ignores Chuuya and goes back to his paperwork. Your boyfriend huffs in frustration. The tension in the room pushes down on you, and when Mori dismisses you, clearly uncomfortable, you hurry out behind Chuuya, who takes his time opening the door and leaving.

Once outside, you grab Chuuya's shoulders and turn him around to find him wearing his usual smirk. He's pushed down the new rule for missions, but you know what he will say before it leaves his lips.

"You're not going to your meeting."

[remlionheart]

Can you do a Chuuya x fem reader where her bra can be shown from her white shirt?

pov: you request a simple spicy lil fic from me, but my manic brain is physically incapable of not giving it an entire backstory and plot and making it at least 4k+ words (thank you so much for this idea tho, it was super fun to write! ღ)

* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦˚ *

Sex, Money, Feelings, Die

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ My first attempt at Chuuya smut (and goddamn, do I love that angry lil man ★~(◡‿◡✿). New to the city, you're coerced into working for the PM after a drunken night out. Scared and now in the heart of one of Japan's most notorious criminal organization's headquarters, you decide to reclaim some of your power by ~*teasing the absolute fuck out of Chuuya Nakahara~*. 4.8k words. Porn with a plot. I can't even lie, this shit had me giggling and kicking my feet while writing, lemme know whatcha think. luv u ღ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When you'd first moved to Yokohama 2 months ago, you had promised your parents that you'd be safe. That you'd find yourself a decent office job to afford you a lofty apartment and that you'd be settled in relatively quickly. You'd pictured yourself walking amongst tall buildings on your days off. Exploring the city with your coworkers on the weekends. Living instead of just existing in your small hometown.

You thought you had your future all mapped out and maybe you did, but those dreams of normalcy were all but destroyed the night you crossed paths with Koyo Ozaki.

She had noticed you from across the bar, quietly observing the way you'd been drinking by yourself all night. It was odd to see a girl with your beauty and lack of abilities so confidently roaming downtown alone. She wasn't sure if you were brave or naive, but the moment you took a seat next to her to thank her for the whiskey and coke she had ordered you, she realized you were the perfect blend of both.

She'd spent the next hour chatting you up, effortlessly coaxing information out of you without you realizing it. She'd offered you an administrative assistant role for the group she worked for, describing it as a "lucrative" and "underground" organization. You were in no position to say no, especially after spending the last month relentlessly applying to jobs with little to no luck.

You woke up the next day musing about silly things like fate and serendipity as you raided your closet for the perfect first day outfit. You felt like this was your big break. The first stop on the roadmap of adulthood that you'd created for yourself. You ironed a pair all black slacks, pairing it with a white-button up quarter-sleeve shirt, and your favorite suede Mary-Janes. Optimism swirled through your head as you eyed yourself in your bedroom mirror that night. You were determined to be so good at this job.

You showed up freshly showered and prepared when you arrived at the sleek, high-rise building. Ozaki waited for you out front with a rather intimidating dark-haired man who introduced himself as Mori, head of the fucking Port Mafia.

Your anxiety rose with each step you took behind them, quickly realizing that this was not the run-of-the-mill clerical job you had envisioned while hazily chatting with Ozaki over whiskey-neats. This was an underground criminal organization full of some of the strongest ability users in the world. You had absolutely no idea why you were here. Why you'd been selected, let alone trusted, to work alongside these people.

You were given your own small office, equipped with a bare desk and landline phone. Mori told you to stay put, explaining that you were to stay out of sight until further notice. You were essentially there as a cover-up.

Apparently, they'd been scouting for girls like you. New to town and completely clueless. They wanted to bring in a handful of these 'administrative assistants' to help keep up the illusion that this was just another ordinary building in the business district of Yokohama and nothing more.

Mori left you with a curt warning about the temperament of the other Mafia members and a haunting, "Welcome to the team." as he closed the door to your office and disappeared down the long corridor. Your heart was slamming into your chest, your anxiety growing the longer you sat. You were angry. Disappointed in yourself for being such an easy target.

You sat for at least an hour staring at the wall in existential dread, wondering what you'd done to end up here. Wondering what you were going to have to do to get out now that you were here. Even if it wasn't necessarily a "job", it still didn't seem like something you could just casually walk away from.

You were in the middle of the Port Mafia's headquarters and you were rightfully, terrified.

The sound of two muffled voices pulled you away from your thoughts while you froze in your chair, realizing that they were right outside your door.

"You're fuckin' with me, right?"

"No, that's really where they're keeping her. She's going to be a fulltime member."

"A member?" it was the first man again, his voice full of shameless snark and volume as he laughed at the idea. "A Mafia member with no ability? C'mon, Akutagawa. Even Mori isn't that stupid."

"There's going to be more, she's just the first to show up."

Tension crept along your spine when both voices came to a curious stop, one quietly scolding the other before the heavy wooden door began to creak open.

A pair of azure eyes stared back at you, disheveled shoulder-length red hair draping off of one shoulder as he mumbled, "Holy shit."

The taller of the two, draped in a long black coat, tried to pry him away, but he shrugged him off with an irritated. "Chill out, I just wanna introduce myself to her."

The dark-haired man scoffed and continued down the hallway while his ginger companion closed the door behind him, leaving just the two of you looking back at each other skeptically.

Despite his height, he had a powerful demeanor. A blend of apathy and cockiness that exuded off of him as he carefully made his way towards you. "So, you're the new girl, huh?"

Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked back at him, your words suddenly stuck in your throat as his foot made contact with your desk.

You managed a nod, remembering the way Mori had advised you not to engage with the other Mafia members, but what were you supposed to do when you were suddenly locked in a room with one?

"God, we really can't just have one normal day around here, can we?" He sighed, almost seeming embarrassed as his shoulders dropped and he leaned against your desk in the spot next to you. "Stealin' girls out of bars? Tch, the hell are they thinkin'?"

His opposition to his boss' plan made you relax a bit. It was the first time all day that you thought you might make it out of here okay.

He picked up on your apprehension rather quickly, taking his hat off and setting it down before extending a gloved hand out to you. "Chuuya." He said simply.

You stared at him for another moment or two before introducing yourself, trying but failing to mimic his nonchalant tone.

"Hey," He said, lightly nudging your foot with his, "You're gonna be alright. I'm sure this gig will only last for a couple of weeks until they move on to their next big, idiotic idea."

"You think so?" It was the first time all day that you felt like you could breathe.

"Trust me, Mori's plans are always changing. He'll probably cut you a fat check for hush money and then send you on your way sooner than later. Just lay low in the meantime, yeah?"

Your eyes were still locked as you nodded at him again, giving him a feeble, "Okay... Yeah, I can do that."

"Good." He smirked, pulling himself away from your desk.

You watched him pause just before exiting the room. He turned around to face you again, his gaze landing a bit lower than your eyes this time.

"And maybe uh -" If you didn't know any better, you'd swear that you saw a flash of red flare across his cheeks. "Maybe don't wear that bra with a white shirt next time."

Out of all of the anxiety and fear that you'd been drowning in over the last few hours, your choice of outfit had been the very last thing you'd considered worrying about until just now.

You looked down, noticing what he meant as you saw the dark, lacy fabric of your Victoria's not-so-secret peeking through the white of your blouse. Your tits were pushed perfectly together, nearly on full display through the sheerness of your shirt.

He flashed you another faint smirk before clicking the door shut, once again leaving you to your own crippling thoughts as your head dropped into your hands.

What an absolutely mortifying first day.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The next few shifts were a blur.

You'd clock in. Sit for what felt like an eternity in your bleak little office. Leave mid-day to grab lunch at a cafe across the street. And then head home 9 hours later despite the fact that you’d hardly done anything.

You'd learned to bring in books and cross-stich patterns to keep yourself busy throughout the day instead of rotting away at your desk. It wasn't an ideal situation, but if Chuuya was right and there really was a big check waiting for you around the corner, you'd decided that it was worth it to see this through. Because no matter how nervous you got each morning, the painful truth was that you couldn’t afford to turn down easy money.

By the end of the week, you found yourself doing more than just sneaking in romance mangas to make the job more bearable though. You were doing everything you could to gain back even a semblance of power.

If you had to be here, you had decided that you were going to make it everyone's problem.

With the ginger's words still fresh in your mind, you made it a point to wear darker bras. Tighter blouses. Shorter skirts that barely covered your ass. It had almost become an inside joke with yourself at what a distraction you'd become to the Port Mafia. Maybe couldn’t make these men fear you, but you could certainly make them trip all over themselves any time you entered the building.

You'd hardly been able to keep a straight face yesterday afternoon when Akutagawa's coffee fell from his hands and cascaded around him after he saw you walking down the hall in black knee-high stockings. You'd finally managed to make everyone here as uncomfortable as they'd made you and it felt good.

You were half-way through the iced matcha you'd picked up on lunch, sitting with your feet propped up on your desk as you continued to embroider the word "fuck" in pretty, cursive letters next to a pink and yellow flower when a knock arrived at your door.

You quickly stashed the circular cross-stitch pad in one of the desk drawers and straightened your back as Tachihara poked his head into your office. "Yo, new girl. Nakahara wants to see you."

Your brows knitted together as you looked back at him in quiet confusion.

No one had ever requested to see you in the time that you'd been here. Even in your attempts to disrupt their daily tasks, they'd still not bothered to learn your name. But now... you were expected to go see Chuuya... in his office?

"Why?" It was the only question you could think to ask.

"Dunno," Tachihara shrugged. "but I wouldn't keep him waiting. He's kind of an asshole." And with that, you were once again left alone and anxious.

You took a breath, standing up to smooth down the fabric of your skirt before venturing down the hallway.

You did your best to push Tachihara's warning out of your head, reminding yourself of the kindness Chuuya had shown you on your first day while your heels clicked across the marbled floor.

Maybe he wanted to tell you that he'd talked to Mori and that your time with Port Mafia was finally up. Maybe he wanted to hand deliver the check you'd so desperately been waiting for. Maybe he just wanted to see how you were doing. Whatever it was, you were holding onto hope that there wouldn't be any more bad news.

You let out a sharp exhale as you rounded the corner and found yourself standing in front of his office. You gave the door a light tap, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve when he finally appeared.

His eyes traced over you slowly, his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth as he counted not one, not two, but three undone buttons along your blouse that revealed the deep-purple push-up bra decorating your chest.

"Get in here."

His tone was clipped, dripping with what felt like vexation as he closed the door behind you.

His office was much bigger than yours, adorned with high-rise windows that overlooked the city and pristine black marble flooring that matched his leather furniture. The room was dark, just barely lit by a lamp on his desk. You wondered how it was possible for him to get any paperwork done in here but then promptly realized that with his ranking, paperwork was probably far beneath his paygrade.

Still not entirely sure how to approach the situation, you hesitantly took a seat on the over-sized armchair across from his desk.

"Quick question," he said, standing in front of you with his arms folded over his chest, his voice still riddled with irritation. "What does the phrase 'lay low' mean to you? Because I can tell you right now, this ain't fuckin' it."

Your pupils widened, his words hanging heavily in the space between you.

Your mouth opened and then closed again, too focused on the way he was staring at you to form a proper response.

"Is it -" you wavered, mustering up all the courage you had to try and play this off as innocent confusion rather than what it actually was: sarcasm. "Is it my outfit?"

If looks could kill, you would've been 6 feet under.

Chuuya's eyes darkened, a flustered hand rubbing feverishly over his face as he struggled to keep his composure. He wasn't sure if you were trying to piss him off or if you were just genuinely the dumbest girl he'd ever come in contact with.

"Yes," He said with all the restraint he could possibly manage, his teeth nearly grinding together with each syllable. “The outfits are getting out of hand. You've gotta stop."

You were playing a dangerous game, but you were slowly starting to realize that you were... winning.

"What's wrong with them?" you asked, pretending to cover your chest in embarrassment.

You wanted to hear him explain it. Hear him tell you in his own words that you couldn't wear short skirts anymore because it was causing too many unexpected erections around headquarters.

"I -" The poor redhead looked as though he was going to have an aneurysm if you kept this up much longer.

He snapped his eyes shut and let out a frustrated exhale, his hand now bawled into a fist at his side. "Listen, a lot of the guys around here have... noticed you, okay? And I can't take one more day of hearin' those fuckin' assholes talk about how they caught a glimpse of your ass in the break room. Got it? I'll buy you some new clothes if I have to. Just please, no more shirts like this, alright?"

He was actually bargaining with you. Entering the third stage of grief as he tried so hard to keep his cool. To keep his eyes locked with yours and nowhere else. To explain all of this in the nicest way he could.

It was in that moment that you realized where the real source of his trepidation was coming from.

Hearing his coworkers ogle over you was probably annoying for sure, but the more damning, infuriating fact of the matter was that he was ogling over you too. And he was fucking tired of not being able to get any work done when he knew that you were right down the hall. He was pissed that he had to come into his office every morning and lock the door just so he could jerk himself off to the idea of you.

He was in so many words begging you to stop because he wasn't sure how much longer he could take seeing so much of your body without being able bend you over his desk like he did in his mid-morning daydreams.

He was losing - both his resolve and this game at an alarming rate.

"Hmm," you hummed, toying with a pen you'd found wedged between the cushion of his chair. "Well, I'm sorry. I just like feeling pretty before I come in. I didn't know it was creating such a problem for everyone."

The wheels in Chuuya's head were spinning.

Emotions weren't his strong suit and doing these mental gymnastics with you was making him need a cigarette.

"It's -" he sighed, groaning as he forced himself to backpedal. "It's not your fault. I mean, you do look pretty, y'know. It's just... distracting, is all."

It was hard to hide your smirk.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't think he was a bit distracting himself, but he didn't need to know that. Not yet anyway.

"Okay, well," you conceded as you began to stand up. "I’ll wear a turtleneck or something tomorrow then.” You shot him a small smile as you got to your feet, "Promise."

He looked marginally relieved by your understanding. "Sounds good." He huffed, rubbing at the back of his neck while following behind you as you made your way out of his office.

But just before you reached the door, you accidentally dropped the pen you'd been fidgeting with. Bending over without warning so that your ass was right in front of him, peaking out of your skirt as he walked straight into you, his hips suddenly meeting yours.

You thought he might actually kill you this time with the guttural noise of frustration that escaped him.

He grabbed you by your shoulders the second you were upright again, spinning you around so that you were forced to face him.

“Okay, seriously." He said between gritted teeth. "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath hitching in your throat as you watched the unfettered anger flicker through his blue eyes.

It was a stupid move, you knew that before you did it, but you didn't expect it to draw this much of reaction out of him. His restraint was lost. Composure long gone while he waited for you to say something with his face mere inches away from yours.

"Sorry," You lied, "It slipped out of my hand so I -"

"Bullshit." He snarled. "Enough with this innocent act. What do you want out of this, huh? For every guy in Port Mafia to want to fuck you? Is that what you're gettin' at here?"

"No." Your head shook before you even had time to think about what you were about to say. "Not everyone..." Your eyes were still glued to his. "Just you."

You didn't know what you were doing anymore or where all of this recent shamelessness had come from, but there was something about being here that made you feel like you could do anything. Be anyone. You weren't sure if it was the power or the crime or the ungodly amount of money that Port Mafia was raking in, but the collective feeling of chaos that these walls housed was finally latching onto you too.

You didn't even flinch when you said it, instead continued to stare at him unapologetically, noting the way his grip had tightened around your shoulder the longer he looked back at you.

"What?"

If the wheels in his head had been spinning before, they were now fully off the ground, exploding into the air as his gaze drifted along your face. Searching intently to make sure you were actually being serious this time before he went any further.

"You really want me to fuck you that bad?" he asked, the warmth of his mouth now ghosting yours.

The question went straight to your center, wetness seeping between your legs as you nodded back at him.

Truth be told, your midmorning fantasies while cross-stitching the last few days hadn't been much different than his.

The gravity manipulator's fingers were suddenly tangled into your hair, his body forcing your back against the door while his lips collided with yours.

"Y'know you could've just asked instead of doin' all this bratty shit, right?"

His mouth was warm, his movements somehow urgent and careful at the same time as his hands wandered along your curves.

You smiled against his lips, letting out a breathy, "I'm sorry." as his palm began to graze the inside of your thigh.

"No, you're not." He smirked, sucking your bottom lip in between his teeth before biting down with just the right amount of pressure. "But you will be."

You let out a small whimper as he placed his free hand under your chin, moving your head to the side so that he could continue his descendent down your neck.

His leg wedged itself between yours, brushing against your clit while his mouth worked along your collarbone.

You were too lost in the feeling of it all to realize that he'd been leaving a trail of meticulously placed bites down the nape of your neck. Bruises in the shape of his mouth that he knew everyone would see.

"Chuuya -" you tried to protest, but it was more of a moan than an objection. "You - fuck, you can't -" You grinded helplessly against the firmness of his leg. Hips rocking back and forth, desperately trying to gain friction while he kept on nipping away at you.

"What's wrong, babe?" he purred against your sensitive skin. "You're wearin' a turtleneck tomorrow anyway, remember?" his breath fanned across your chest as he ripped the remaining buttons off of your shirt. A gloved hand palming at your chest, sliding your bra down so that your tits were fully exposed for him before you felt his tongue glide across your nipple.

Tachihara was right, he was kind of an asshole. But for some terrible reason, you were living for it. Almost embarrassed by how bad you wanted him. Wriggling against him and riding his leg. Whining while you let him leave visible marks on you and destroy the only clothing you had.

"C'mere." He pulled his head away from your chest, swiftly grabbing you by the arm and leading you back to his desk. He picked you up with ease, shoving a binder aside to sit you down in front of him.

"Spread your legs for me." His voice was heady, eyes glossed over with lust as you complied with his demands.

He held his hand up to his mouth, removing his black glove with his teeth before pushing your skirt up and sliding your underwear to the side. He bent over slightly, running two rough fingers along your clit as he watched your nails dig into the edge of his desk.

"Fuck," he groaned, still not taking his eyes off of you. He'd barely done anything and you were already soaked, your pussy practically throbbing for him. “You really do want me that bad, huh?"

“T - told you.” You whimpered, your head tilting back as he drew slow, blissful circles around you.

He kept up the same pace, basking in the way you were so easily falling apart for him.

“Chuuya, please.”

A smirk tugged viciously at the corner of his mouth, slipping a finger into you this time as your walls swallowed him. "Please what, baby?"

You may have had him in the first half, but you were now on the losing end of this game. Forgetting how to speak altogether as you watched him part your legs even further, bending all the way down to rest his head between your thighs.

You moaned at the feeling of his tongue pressing against you. The heavenly lines he was drawing uppp and downnn your center with his middle finger still sliding in and out of you. He was generous in the way he handled you, making sure he didn't miss a single spot. Lapping and slurping up every bit of cum he could as he added in another finger. Groaning against you the louder you got for him.

The only word you seemed to be able to remember was his name, repeating it over and over while your nails lodged deeper into his mahogany desk and your body shamelessly grinded against the warmth of his mouth.

You were in a delirious daze, losing yourself completely to the way he was devouring you.

He could feel you getting close too, noting the frantic rhythm of your hips. The gorgeous, fucked-out noises you were making for him. The death grip your walls suddenly had on him. He knew you were right there, right where he wanted you.

"Chuuya, 'm - I -"

Your legs were locking around his head, shaking uncontrollably as your hand ran through his hair.

He'd never admit it, but he almost could've came at the sounds you were making alone. The pouty way that you called out his name each time his fingers plunged into you was almost enough to drive him over the edge. You were so pathetic and adorable and he was determined to make everyone in Port Mafia hear just how needy you were for him.

As much as he wanted to edge you for what you'd done to him, as much as he wanted to make you beg and plead for him to let you cum, he couldn't fucking pull himself away from you. He was just as lost as you were, drowning in your cunt and not at all wanting to be saved.

His tongue didn’t leave you until he was absolutely sure that you'd ridden out every last wave of your orgasm, still pumping his digits in and out of you until you couldn’t take it anymore.

He came up for air with an exhausted smile, wordlessly coaxing your lips apart with his thumb before bringing the two fingers he had fucked you with into your mouth. Letting you clean off the blend of slick and salvia the two of you had created together.

"See how fucking good you taste?" he panted. "I think this is gonna be a real problem for both of us."

An enamored shade of pink brushed across your cheeks as he dropped down onto the chair across from you, running a tired hand through his hair.

"At least I won't be here much longer, right?" You said, playfully kicking his leg with your foot.

"Oh yeah," he smirked. "That actually reminds me..." Your eyes widened as he shifted around to dig an envelope out of his pocket. "Mori wanted me to give this to you."

Your hands trembled, opening it as delicately as you could to make sure you didn't rip anything when a check for 1,490,200 yen fell into your lap.

"Think that'll be enough to buy yourself a shirt that fits?"

Your eyes snapped towards him in disbelief, your pulse ringing through your ears as you tried to process that you'd somehow made this amount of money in a little over a week.

"Is this -" You stammered, thinking back to what he had told you when you first met. "Is this like a severance check then? ...Hush money or whatever?"

"Tragically, no. Mori wants you to stay."

Your hand instinctively flew up to your neck, covering the love-bites that the redhead had left you with, horrified at the realization that everyone was going to see them. Even more horrified at the fact that they had probably heard how you’d gotten them.

"What?"

"Yeah, he said somethin' about you how you've been 'boosting the morale' around here."

Your head felt like it was going to explode.

You had not only been marked by Chuuya Nakahara, but you were now being asked to stay in Port Mafia.

You couldn't decide which was worse.

"So... that means..."

"Yep. We'll be seein' a lot more of each other." He confirmed while checking his watch. "But hey, you better get outta here, Rando and I have a meeting in 10 minutes."

You looked down at your lack of clothing, the spit and cum that was still stuck to your skirt, the obscenely noticeable bruises that he'd so proudly gifted you with.

"Give me your shirt." you demanded.

"Nah."

The grin he shot you was so cocky, so vile, so... hot.

"Chuuya." You whisper-shouted, biting back your own stupid smile. "Be so fucking for real right now, I can’t go out there like this.”

“Shoulda thought about that before you put on that skimpy-ass outfit I guess.” He shrugged.

You hopped off his desk, straddling him in his chair as you forcefully began to undo the buttons along his collar.

The room filled with suppressed laughter, neither one of you able to contain it anymore as he finally conceded, wrestling you off of him. "Alright, alright, chill. I have extras in here, hang on."

You both stood up, your eyes locked on him while he walked over to an expensive looking armoire in the corner of the room.

He pulled a white shirt that resembled the one you were wearing earlier off of a hanger and brought it over to you, guiding your arms up so that he could put it on.

His movements were calculated, almost thoughtful as he dressed you, adjusting it so that it covered up most of the damage he'd done.

"There." He said, double-checking his work. "Now get out of here before I decide to rip that one off of you too.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Part 2! ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

[planetpedri]

i was wondering if you could write a fluffy cubarsi fic where he's super clingy and can't stop giving kisses to the reader and he's just super sweet? i love your writing sm btw 🫶🏻

Too sweet — Pau Cubarsí.

Pairing: Pau Cubarsí x Fem!Reader

Summary: One thing you quickly learned when you started dating Pau, was how clingy he was. Not that it was a problem, you loved it, but sometimes you think he’s just too sweet.

Word count: 480

Disclaimer/s: none! just fluff <3

A/N: pau!fluff is the only way i can write for him i love him sooo bad! also THANK YOUUU!! 🫶🏻 also hello.. nee pfp.. new theme.. new me.

During Pau’s off days, you loved to spend the mornings in bed, doing a routine you’d both become accustomed to. You, sitting up and reading with your dog, Mori on your lap, and Pau’s arm around you as he watches something on the TV.

Today was no different. You’d started a new book, and he was watching a show you couldn’t care less about. But something was different, Pau kept stealing glances at you the whole time.

Finally having enough, you set your book aside, careful not to move too much so Mori wouldn’t stir from his sleep. “What is it? Do I have something on my face.. feel free to let me know.”

Pau, caught off guard, clears his throat. A small blush spreads across his cheeks. “No! No, you just look very cute when you’re concentrated like that.” Despite seeming shy, Pau never hesitated or faltered when it came to complimenting with you.

Your bottom lip tugs between your lips, suppressing a smile. “You’re too sweet, amor. But seriously, you make it very hard to concentrate when you’re looking at me.”

Grinning, Pau leans closer to your face, lips mere inches from yours. “Sorry.” He mumbles, giving you a light peck. Your smile grows as he gives you a few more light kisses, moving to your cheeks and forehead.

“Pauuu.” You laugh, greeting every kiss with a giggle. “My book was getting interesting!”

Your boyfriend gives you a cheeky grin, “but—“

“No buts! Let me read, just another thirty minutes, please?” Who was Pau if he denied such a pretty face everything she wanted? So he caves, sinking back into the bed with his arms wrapping around your waist.

He presses a few kisses to the exposed skin on your abdomen, where your tanktop had ridden up before looking back to the TV. He is so, so perfect. You think, eyes twinkling with love, you force yourself to grab your book and continue reading.

Now, with the loss of your lips, Pau finds himself rubbing small circles on your hip. He couldn’t pay attention to the TV, his mind filled with thoughts of you. Every few minutes, he’ll place another kiss to your stomach, causing your attention to be stolen away from the book.

Less than ten minutes later, your book mark had been placed, saving your spot, and you toss it aside. Pau tries to hide his growing smirk as you gently move Mori onto the end of the bed. The dog whines but snuggles up once again, falling back asleep.

With all the objects out of the way, you shuffle around till you and Pau are intertwined, your head resting on his shoulder. You roll your eyes, pecking his lips. “I never get a moment of peace with you.”

“Whoops.” Pau shrugs, though he clearly held no remorse, and once again, plants his lips against yours.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[hana-no-seiiki]

YANDERE! DELINQUENT! OC x READER

As celebration for 1K followers and 1K likes on the HAIRPIN | POPPED short fic. I have drawn a sketch of Mori and made another fic for you all ! Enjoy ;D

Please read the previous fic linked above for context.

warnings: [y/n] is masc leaning though i don’t use anything specific to describe them. [y/n] is kind of a terrible person. perv! mori. mentions of sex. underwear theft. stalking. m. masturbation.

IT TOOK MORI AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT OF TIME TO NOTICE THAT YOU TWO WERE IN THE SAME CLASS. But now that he knew, he made sure to attend as much as he can. Shamelessly staring at you like he was about to have you as his next meal.

This would have prompted your classmates to warn you, if you weren’t such a menace and a half yourself.

From what Mori learned from his stalking, you were about as bad as he was when it came to physical hostility only that yours came in the form of verbal and emotional assaults. You were known for turning even the most popular person in campus into an outcast with just a click of a button. It became your job to basically be on the know-how of everyone. You probably knew everything there is about Mori himself.

He found out after seeing an underclassman confess to you. Poor kid had his heart shattered when you told him that you shared his declined terrific confessions about wanting to be railed by you, to not only the entire school, but the internet as well.

What was even worse was that kid still liked you after all that. Apparently you two were acquaintances and he had unknowingly saved the junior from getting his ass beat by kicking the bullies’. And that led to you and Mori meeting.

Tch. Why did he have to owe that lanky piece of shit the honor of encountering you?

After going through the 5 stages of grief that is falling in love with you. Mori decided to just fuck it and accept the fact that he ain’t getting you out of his heart and/or mind anytime soon.

Might as well indulge his feelings.

By that he means following you everywhere.

And he means everywhere.

His lackeys are so confused. Why was Boss stalking you? You had a horrid reputation like him, but you only attacked when provoked. But the way Boss was staring you down said otherwise. His horny was mistaken as anger.

This would have prompted them to ‘deal’ with you. If you didn’t threaten their social lives.

So for the next month it had been a standstill. Until one fateful day. When you dragged him to a dark, abandoned shed behind the school.

And started taking off your pants/skirt, and your undergarments. Your genitalia out for show.

“Wh-Wha—Wait— I’m—“ He stuttered. He’d seen you strip many times before. Even masturbating inside your closet and on your bed. But seeing you do it right in front of him with nothing between you two was still . . . new but nice . . . and a tad bit overwhelming.

“It’s my underwear.” You dangle the piece of cloth on front of his face. Using your free hand to put your pants/skirt back on.

“I can see that, why are you giving me your dirty ass—“

“I was thinking it may have been the kid. Taking all my laundry and all that. But then you started following me everywhere.”

“Y-You knew?!”

“I was guessing. But now I know.” You shrugged casually, as if you hadn’t just dropped the biggest bombshell in the world. As if you hadn’t just exposed his depraved actions towards youz

“Which brings me to my next point, I want you to go out with me.”

“What?!”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“YES! I mean, yes — But . . . why ?”

“Well it’s an equal exchange. I’d have a boyfriend to stop all those pesky confessions and attempts at my life, which you have been doing for me in the background. Thank you, by the way—“

“You’re- You’re welcome? You could have said something—“

“Let me talk properly before I change my mind.” Tired of holding your underwear, you decided to throw it on his face before continuing, “And you, get to take all the underwear you’d like. Get to take me on all the dates you’d like. Maybe even fuck me in whatever place or position you’d like.”

This was too good to be true. Mori was leaking from the words coming out your mouth, but he had to make sure he wasn’t getting himself into a situation he didn’t want.

“What’s the catch?”

“It’s simple. Know your place. I take the reins of this relationship. Not you. I make the decisions and adjustments to this exchange. Not you. We’ll break up when I say so. So there’s no backing out on your terms I’m afraid.”

The arrangements seemed unfair. Too perfect. It wasn’t as if he’ll break up with you at any moment, he’ll just have to focus on keeping your eyes on him. There was nothing to be afraid of. Doubt still permeated, but even then . . .

“Deal.” He answered immediately. The benefits were too good to care about essentially being a guard dog. He might as well indulge as he has been.

This time without the time spent hesitating on his decision.

“Let’s make good on that deal right now, shall we?”

[ YANDERE DELINQUENT / MORI CHARACTER PROFILE ]

[mwahs-stuff]

could you please do a chuuya x fem reader where they have to pretend to be married or whatever for a mission, and then it leads to a love confession. it can lead to smut or fluff. if you dont want to do it you can ignore the ask. i love your stuff so much!!!!!!

I actually flipping love this idea sm. thank you so much anon, mwah<3 (side note: I rlly suck at writing long stories and fluff but ima try 😼🫡)

☣cw: making out, grinding, riding, unprotected sex, (just realized I didn't put a love confession in here, but ig this is more of an "I want you" confession??. (I'm probably missing some warnings)

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the mission mori gave you both was simple enough. at least it would be if you weren't engrossed with chuuya. he was just so fascinating to you. you sat at your desk looking over the mission details. you had to get details on their home security. it was a large gala, you had to play the part of a married couple, newly weds. after finishing with reading the details, you headed back to your apartment. you started to get all dolled up, a nice red dress with a low back, red lipstick, and the most beautiful ring. you were ready. you waited outside of your apartment as the driver showed up, chuuya stepped out of the backseat.. oh god, he looked great in a suit. he didn't say much as you both got in the backseat of the black car. as the driver pulled up to the nice home, you couldn't help the way your eyes lit up at the beautiful home. it was huge. you stepped out of the car, and almost immediately, you felt a hand snake around your wasit, making you shiver as you looked over to chuuya, who seemed focused.

it was even more beautiful inside!! you couldn't help but look in aw. chuuya looked pleased, too. "we should start off with some small talk, kay?" he whispered in your ear. you giggled as if he said something funny, so no one would be suspicious of it. you both walked around, drinking some champagne as you spoke to other couples.

"So are you're both newly weds? I must say you compliment each other well," a woman spoke to you both. she was obviously very tipsy. eventually, you and chuuya stepped outside, taking your time to check everything out. he was almost done before you heard footsteps, shit this looked suspicious. he quickly grabbed your waist and brought you into a kiss, making you gasp, but you quickly clashed with his tongue.he held you tighter as you bit his bottom lip softly. the footsteps stopped, and you were in the clear, but chuuya didn't pull away. he held your waist tighter and continued.. you weren't complaining. he finally did pull away. saliva still connected you both as you panted, and he did too, his lips still so close to yours. "you have no idea how many dreams I've had about that," you whispered against his lips. He let out a low growl at your words before grabbing your thigh and bringing it up to his hip, crashing his lips onto yours. after a bit, you both had to pull away due to your ride being here, but the second you both got back in that car, you were on his lap, grinding against his hard on. "I need you, doll." he whispered against your ear. those four words were enough for you to pull up your dress as he started to pull down his pants. he grabbed your wrist and brought it down to his cock. "feel. feel what you do to me." he breathed out. holy fuck. this was really happening. you pulled your panties to the side and hovered over his length, rubbing his tip against your wet entrance. "feel what you do to me." you whispered against his lips, kissing him hungrily once more as you slammed onto his dick, making him gasp into your mouth as you moaned loudly. "So tight.. fuck.." he moaned out as he guided your hips against his cock at a fast pace. it only took a little bit till he was panting into your mouth. "I'm close, doll," he groaned against your lips. you tightened against his dick at his words, making him cum inside. you moaned loudly as you came a moment later. a soft whine escaped you as you pulled off him and sat back down on his lap, panting. he pulled your panties back. "we're going to report back to mori when we get back. you're going to keep my load in your cunt when we do, got it pretty girl?" you let out a soft whine and nodded as you pulled down your dress.

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Heart: Alluring Temptations, Denial, and the Slow Burn

In the novelization of Darin Morgan's episode War of the Coprophages (post here), Dr. Bambi Berenbaum is described as "the most beautiful woman that Mulder has ever seen" (loosely quoted, thank you @wonderxphile~.) The thought struck me that, perhaps, it's not an invention or interpretation of the novelist's so much as an offshoot of the root of Mulder's romantic inclinations-- specifically, ones that relate to his self-imposed celibacy.

During the early years of the show, David Duchovny described Mulder's choice to remain single in a particularly singular way: that Mulder was so dedicated to his work that any relationship or life outside of it would feel like cheating. As intriguing as that thought is, another crops up: if that be the case, why was he almost drawn off-course by various women on the show?

THE DESIRE OF THE EYE

All but one of Mulder's short love interests are narratively sexual characters. Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley were exes, both intending to seduce, distract, and control his focus away from the mission. Kristen Kilar and Bambi Berenbaum were two beautiful women that drew and attached his eye immediately. Lastly, Melissa Rydell was a bit of an outlier who still exuded the same pull as the other four: a commonality with Mulder-- one who "understood" him in ways other women hadn't (or wouldn't.)

If his work is his wife, then they are his (potential) mistresses.

Mulder fell hard and fast; but snapped out of his rose-colored fog just as quickly. Each woman didn't withstand the test of his work, always turning their back on him for someone else, someone "greater."

Except for Dana Scully.

SLOW BURN AND DENIAL

The difference between Scully and the other women was that she didn't knock Mulder's socks off at first sight: baggy suit, green haircut, cutting science, and fire-breathing accountability challenged and won his trust before it won his heart.

Be that as it may, within two episodes Mulder had very, very quickly shifted his estimation of Scully from spy to maneuverable hindrance to partner.

By Squeeze he was undeniably, irrevocably territorial. While he respected her decision to leave, he would most certainly have continued tracking her down wherever she was working to discuss details of his case, her case, or any tidbits in-between (as depicted by him interrupting her stakeout.)

Season 2 beat Mulder over the head until he realized how closely he tied Scully to the work. In Little Green Men, he needed her encouragement to combat self-doubt; but more importantly, he needed her there with him, by his side. After her abduction in Ascension, he became listless, self-destructive (@cecilysass's excellent meta here), and dispassionate for the work: there was no curiosity or joy of discovery in 3's case-- in fact, there was no joy at all. In One Breath, he tried to barter his life's work for Cancer Man's location, resigning anyway out of sheer guilt. (Later, he tried to sell his soul again, more directly, to save Scully's life in Memento Mori.) By Firewalker, Scully had already eclipsed the work-- which Mulder didn't acknowledge, to her or himself, until Fight the Future-- and he frequently abandoned leads or "the truth" if he thought her life were in danger. Although she had become indispensable, Mulder didn't realize he loved her until later in the narrative.

Still.

Scully acknowledged her feelings, indirectly, at various times through the series; but he only initiated when afraid she'd leave, forever. While genuinely blinded by his quest, Mulder wasn't stupid. Scully fishing for his genetics in Home led him to banter away the conversation, later fixing a chair firmly under the broken lock separating their rooms. Scully bringing a cheese platter to celebrate in Detour didn't grab his attention from the mystery, but it underscored his efforts to deflect her serious topic later in the forest.

Because, at the heart of the matter (the very place he tried to avoid), Mulder lived in bone-deep denial.

In E.B.E., he quips, "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot"; in Irresistible, he fumes over no one noticing where "a pretty woman" went; even in A Ghost That Stole Christmas he huffs, "We're not lovers." Maggie Scully ascertained his feelings immediately in Ascension, and Melissa Scully pushed him to acknowledge them in One Breath: "At least she'll know. And so will you." During the cancer arc, he embraces Scully for never giving up, doesn't discuss her cancer unless absolutely necessary, freely offers affection on her deathbed; then after, tries to deflect a personal talk in the woods while in shock. Even thoughts of harm coming to his partner-- be it not wanting to consider Scully possibly dying in Piper Maru or the split second of doubt despite evidence when she did "die" in Kitsunegari-- throws up an instant wall of denial.

Mulder knew something was "there" after Melissa Scully made him confront himself-- in fact, he likely already sensed something during his conversation with Scully in Tooms-- but he didn't want to poke around to find out exactly "what" it was. He wasn't ready.

Yet.

"FOX " OR "MULDER"

The women closest to Mulder ended up calling him "Fox" (or "Sullivan")... all except Scully, his abandoned lunch colleague in Little Green Men, and the phone sex operator in Small Potatoes.

Scully herself is an even more isolated case, of course.

When she began to make a personal confession in Tooms, Mulder uncomfortably laughed off her "Fox...": "I even made my parents call me 'Mulder'. So. 'Mulder'." Perhaps that's true (or perhaps not, since his father and mother also called him "Fox.") Regardless, he sensed Scully was letting her guard down; and, fearing she was opening her heart in another direction, tried to fend off any loving regard. Scully surprised him, however: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" incorporated his preference, expressed her loyalty, and was a far cry from a lovesick oath. He teased the moment away, pleased; then was, by turns, caught, unsettled, and relieved by her teasing repartee.

From that point, his name began to change from professional shield to personal endearment.

But what does this have to do with Mulder's mistresses?

SCULLY, HIS LIFE

Scully was inextricably linked with the work after her return; and, whether Mulder had fully accepted his love for her yet or not (and I'm beginning to think he hadn't fully until her cancer diagnosis), she was now his life. Drawing her away from a "normal life" and dragging her dog along on a lake monster excursion became an expected, routine part of his weekend.

Bambi-- the "most beautiful woman"-- appeared during this chummy, Season 3 phase. When larger questions and greater fears shook stability from under his feet, Melissa Rydell-- the alleged soulmate-- made her (apparently) destined entrance.

Both women fell into a pattern Phoebe and Kristen set: bold, shiny new possibilities; then solace-seeking and grasping insecurity. That pattern, however, was broken during the cancer arc, as exemplified by the exception to this general rule: Diana Fowley.

ESCAPING THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER

Phoebe, Kristen, Bambi, and Melissa effortlessly lured Mulder's focus from his own aims. Not permanently; just enough to create a foil for the work-- a.k.a. Scully. Mulder suffered a few burns from his false romances (post here): passing out from smoke inhalation, watching three buildings go up in flames, and being dismissed from the life of each romantic interest. Diana, too, betrayed him; and Diana, too, was tied to the blaze in his office.

However, Agent Fowley was not sought after like her predecessors. She was also the first to notice a change in Mulder.

When she arrived on the scene, boldly hitching her wagon to his theories and his work, she expected him to readily accept, nay beg, her back on the files. Instead, Mulder laughed off her concerns about Scully, gushing over his new partner's innate ability to make him "work for it." Further, he stuck by Scully's side when his ex was hospitalized, only straying in The Beginning when Diana created an elaborate ruse to separate the two. He didn't initiate or reciprocate her kiss in One Son; and he was more baffled than beaming when "she" wanted to play domesticly-ever-after in Amor Fati. In short, Mulder was not drawn romantically to Diana, at all: in fact, he was wary. Friendly, but distant.

She'd missed her chance.

If Diana had swooped in sometime before Memento Mori's unification, she could have exploited the gnarly feeling that had been building since early Season 4, or widened its distance post Never Again-- a distance that had been building since Mulder's sloughed-off remark in Home and unwitting partner replacement in The Field Where I Died. (More accurately, if CSM had bothered to pay close attention to his lab rats, he'd have noticed a weakness in their partnership and sent in his super rat to exploit it.) As it happens, she did not.

MULDER'S HEART

What does this mean for Mulder and Scully?

At the outset, I believed Mulder learned the depth of his love for Scully during the events of One Breath-- now, however, I'm convinced that's only half true.

Scully had already replaced the work's importance in his life, but neither understood the depths of his reliance on and devotion to her. Mulder was still gut-reacting, not wanting to delve too deeply into his heart to find the truth there. Never Again gave him a great and terrible shakeup because he'd taken Scully's place at his side for granted-- he'd thought "This work is my life" also extended to her; and that she'd glanced at his offer and was preparing to reject it. Mulder was living in full-blown denial: denial so deep that only the incurable, inescapable possibility of her death could tear his blinders off.

After her diagnosis, that denial was blown to pieces; and, afraid to face the ramifications of his realization, and her remission, he kept fleeing. As Scully says in Dreamland I, "We, we just keep driving."

That brings us back to Phoebe Green-- dangerous allure-- and Kristen Kilar-- mutual mourning partner-- and Dr. Berenbaum-- the "most beautiful woman"-- and Melissa Rydell-- tortured twin soul-- and Diana Fowley-- ancient history. His heart was free in Fire, unconsciously grieving in 3, charmingly in denial in War of the Coprophages, seeking Scully in other lives in The Field Where I Died, and beating only for her in The End.

CONCLUSION

A very interesting, complicated man, indeed.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[manias-wordcount]

Hi!

I'd like to request something with Mori Ougai (bsd) being head over heals for someone in the port mafia (who has the same status as Chuuya, but I can't remember what it's called, sorry...). Preferably ending with smut.

I couldn't find of you were open for requests or not, so sorry if this comes at the wrong time, and also okey if you decide to not Wright this, thank you either way

Doctor Knows Best (Mori Ougai x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗺𝗮𝗼. 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗶 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳- 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁-𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝘂𝗻. 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁! 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 :)

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

If you’re being honest, you’re more surprised that he hasn’t pulled you from your position yet. 

  It’s been a while since you’ve had a real command from him. One that really required your status as an executive of the Port Mafia, anyway. If it wasn’t dealing with paperwork or handling intelligence or giving orders from the safety of a nice cushy, building, it was just simply lying around. Waiting for something to do. Waiting for a reason to be here. Of course, you know you still have use here. Your status as a senior member and your special ability is what got you to rise in the ranks so quickly when you were much younger. But you’re not getting any younger like this. You’re not being very helpful like this. As helpful as you know you could be, at least. However…

  “Breathe in for me, my lovely.”

  You’re positive Mori is too into the idea of you being helpful right now. At least, not after the incident.

  That’s really the only plausible explanation for your situation right now. That’s the only way you can explain how you ended up in his old doctor’s office in the Port Mafia’s base in just a nightgown after he heard you coughing over breakfast in your room. He even made sure to give you a personal escort and everything. That is to say, he took you by the hand and fussed over you every second of the way - even in front of your subordinates.

  Now, if it were up to you, you would have chosen to be anywhere beside his examination table with all the top bottoms of your dress undone and the fabric settling dangerously around your shoulders as he goes through his usual routine of diagnostics. You would have chosen to be absolutely anywhere- except this close to him. And at the moment? You’re more than exasperated enough to make it known to him.

  “Mori, I’m fine!” You insist with a frustrated huff. However, you do end up giving in very quickly and giving him a deep breath in and out as he presses the cool metal of the stethoscope against your skin. You keep your eyes adverted, not at all willing to give into his overly concerned self. But your compliance ends up putting a small smile on his face that you’re able to spot just out of the corner of your eye- something that warms your cheeks and flusters you greatly. Still, you’re not willing to go down without a fight. Even if the man you’re duking it out against just so happens to be your very, very smug boss. “The other doctor said I’d be good to get back in the field three weeks ago! You can’t keep doing this.”

  At your protest, Mori just lets out an absent hum. Almost as if he doesn’t have a care in the world as to what you have to say or think or do. But you know deep down inside that’s a line. After all, he wouldn’t be showing this much concern over your health after the explosion you were in a couple months ago if he didn’t care about you. He wouldn’t be ditching the fancy black suit in favor of a measly little doctor’s coat and old purple button-up if you were someone else. Because you know he hasn’t done it to anyone- not even the other executives.

  And that’s what makes you so upset. That’s what makes you so frustrated. That’s what makes things so unfair.

  “A second opinion is common practice in the medical field, my dear.” He responds to you easily as a look of concentration passes over his face while he takes your readings. And it just makes you want to scream with just how quickly he’s able to brush you off. Though it looks like the anger had crept onto your face a little more than you were anticipating. Because all too soon, he’s taking the hand he put on your shoulder to keep you still and cupping at your chin to turn your head to meet his red eyes directly, a tight smile on his face. “And it’s Dr. Ougai, sweetheart. Remember who you’re talking to.”

  You swallow a little nervously at his gaze, but in reality, you know you have nothing to fear. He’s been tough on you before. He’s been tough on you and your fellow executives plenty of times before. Yet one measly explosion and a moderate concussion later, you’re just now allowed to have unsupervised time in front of a computer. And that thought now only serves to annoy you further. Way, way, way further.

  “I know exactly who I’m talking to.” You bite out, half a snarl curling at your lips. Mori only raises an eyebrow at you- expression amused and a little too playful for your liking. But you don’t give him the time of day to suck the joy out of your rebellion. You’ve just about had it with his coddling. You’ve just about had it with his constant nagging and the way he looks at you. Like you need to be protected. Like walking out of that explosion wasn’t a possibility that came with your job. Like you couldn’t handle the lifestyle you’ve signed up for yourself. You’ve just about had it. “I’m talking to my boss. The one who refuses to give me orders and let me do my job. The one who keeps calling me weak by never telling me what to-”

  And unfortunately right now…

  “You want orders?”

  …he’s listening loud and clear.

  For the first time in a while, Mori addresses you with a sharp tone. One that reminds you of what it means to be in the Mafia. To be skating on thin ice. But it’s what you wanted. That’s what you asked for. So that’s what you get. You made your bed. It’s only right that you’d sleep in it too.

  “Yes.” You answer quietly, keeping your voice nice and even to avoid showing any emotion.

  “Yes, what?” He shoots back almost immediately. The amused expression that was once on his face is gone- replaced by lips set in a straight line and half-lidded eyes that present all the seriousness that you would expect from a mafioso. And maybe it’s because you’ve been out of the game for a while than you’d like to be. Maybe it’s because of all this coddling and hand-holding that he’s been doing with you. Maybe it’s all that and a combination of more that made you feel so soft. So weak. Whatever it is, you have no doubt that it’s the very thing that caused you to let out another nervous swallow despite your best efforts to hide it. One that he notices easily. One that he addresses just as easily too. “Say it.”

  “Yessir.” You tell him, nearly slurring over your words in order to get them out in time. Back straight and tall. Eyes forward. Body stiff. Like a good soldier should. Like a good soldier should. But that’s the thing. That’s the thing about him that you didn’t get. It’s the fact that he didn’t want a soldier.

  “Good girl.”

  He just wanted you.

  You were slow to understand that until the final second. But the second you heard the purr of his compliment, you can’t help but feel it. You couldn’t help but feel like you had melted. Softened up a little bit. In a way that you’d like. In a way that Mori appreciated.

  And of course, as seconds passed by, things became more and more clear to you. After all, you think there’s very little that needs to be explained when your doctor and your boss all but tear the stethoscope from his ears and toss it elsewhere in favor of surging forward and wrapping his arms around you. And you know there’s even less to be explained when those warning arms start creeping up the back of your nightgown and settling a little dangerously on your hip. And even less than that his deep, velvety voice is no longer spouting compliments. Instead- they’re pressing themselves against your neck and your collarbone and your shoulders and the valley between your breasts as he makes quick work of tugging down your already scandalously low-hanging dress even lower. In between the kisses he presses to your lips, of course. 

  And by the time your mind catches up with your body, you swear everything about you is overheating. The mere sensation of rough fingertips brushing over your bare skin- taking extra care to trace your new scars and your faded wounds- it’s enough to send you whining. And the mere sensation of his lips against your body- the little nibbles and the softness of his lips spreading here and there- it’s enough to send you squirming. Breaking you down and building you back into his image. Almost as if every time insisted you see a doctor or you take a break or you hold off going back to work was all in preparation for this one moment.

  “You want orders, princess?” He asks you finally, and you are not sure you have enough fire in your belly left to answer like the mafioso you’re supposed to be. Not that he cares. Not that he wanted that anyway. Because he wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble of making you soft and pliable and desperate for his approval and his commands if that’s what he wanted for you, now would he. “You want to be my good girl?”

  As if that switch that was flipped on inside of you is now up and at full force, you start nodding your head like a mad woman. Like this was what you made for me. For following his orders. For following his lead. Whether it’s killing in his name. Whether it’s moaning his name. As long as he tells you to do it. As long as he commands you to do it. Then’s enough for you. In fact, it’s more than enough for you. 

  “Then lay back and open your legs for me, darling.”

  After all…

   “You can do that for your Doctor, right sweetheart?”

  …Dr. Ougai knows best.

[originalaccountname]

Thank you for your reply!

And yeah, I mean when Chuuya shows up the first time in the manga and Dazai says that he sent a letter so Chuuya can't kill him, and oops Chuuya broke the chains so it looks like he broke Dazai out. His plan to me seemed like a bit of a plot hole at first because Chuuya is stronger and there's a bunch of cells and chains at his convenience in the mafia dungeon, and even without that there's nothing stopping him from continuing to punch Dazai...but part of me wonders if they both chose to ignore that on purpose and that is very funny to me. What's your take on that scene?

I have the unpopular opinion Dazai was 100% bullshitting his way through that encounter with Chuuya. Yes he could have escaped earlier, but he was waiting for a specific moment to do so. He was estimating the timing of what the others were doing. This is happening while sskk are having their battle on the ship and the ADA just got Ranpo on finding them. I fully believe that when Chuuya showed up it was a "oh no a sudden obstacle has appeared" situation to Dazai:

They bicker and fight like we've grown used to them doing, though Chuuya is the most violent he's been to him since he rammed him into a wall when they first met. There is pent up frustration and anger there. It's also Chuuya's introduction, so we quickly need to establish that he's strong, prone to getting annoyed by Dazai, and looks very cool. I'm serious his solo panels are so extra.

When Chuuya finally asks Dazai why he stayed captured instead of escaping, Dazai has to take a moment to think before answering him:

What happens here is that Dazai starts by saying the truth, that he let himself be captured to know who wants Atsushi. That destabilizes Chuuya, because Dazai helping someone isn't something Chuuya is used to. This leads to Chuuya taunting Dazai for having "gone soft" and revealing that he just came back from a mission:

Chuuya put himself at a disadvantage that way: if he was away and just came back, he is not aware of all the details and recent developments. Look at the bottom right panel on the second page ^, all black with a thinking bubble. Dazai just got an idea. Dazai can use this.

"if that were true, they should have contacted..." <- Chuuya wasn't told about any executive meeting because Dazai is making it up right now. There was no letter. Dazai is making up a dilemma for Chuuya to get stuck on, with just enough plausibility that Chuuya can't immediately brush it off.

Plus, when Chuuya is finally cornered, he simply assumes Dazai one-upped him again by turning his own words against himself:

When he walks in:

When Dazai corners him:

When Chuuya first said he was here to spite him, Dazai looked tense. When Chuuya remembers it, it's to Dazai's little "yep" + looking away pretending this was aaaaall planned and not at all something he just came up with.

Dazai is the "improvise adapt overcome" king, I have no doubts he enjoyed making Chuuya squirm, but I don't believe he stayed for that at all. It was just a surprise treat.

Chuuya absolutely had more options than killing Dazai or letting him escape there. There really wouldn't have been any surprise to Chuuya going "yeah so I broke his restraints and then put him back sorry". He just sort of gave up the idea of holding Dazai back in any way. Yeah he could have chained him up. Dazai would have escaped anyway. Chuuya knew Dazai was only waiting for something.

And you want me to believe Mori was aware they captured and chained Dazai and expected him to stay there? They have the same escape artist hobby. Mori was taking bets with Kouyou for how long it would take Dazai to get out. Mori wants Dazai back: chapter 10-11 are in the 3rd volume, and the bonus of the 4th volume is Chuuya drunkenly calling Dazai to complain about the boss telling him he wishes Dazai would come back. Why would killing Dazai even be on the table?

My final thoughts though is BSD is a live series that has been going on for over 10 years, and it's expected that some details would change as time goes on. Dazai asked Chuuya why he bought his hat. Dazai of all people should know what the hat represents. Asagiri just didn't know yet what the hat would mean because this was chapter 10 and Chuuya was just introduced. So everything is to take with a grain of salt.

[bryngmemoney]

✁FASHION FLIRT✃

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

⭑story masterlist link

tw: mentions of death (just jokes)

Writing in between messages!!

🪡Chapter Twenty-four: Beading & Braiding

“Look it’s you!” you lifted up the notebook, with a simple portrait of Megumi, based solely off your memory and what you could see on the call. “It’s me,” he said while giving you a short laugh.

“Show me yours!”

He complied, lifting up his paper with his portrait of you. The paper covered up most of the camera, but you could see his eyes peaking over it looking at you.

“So you’re just good at everything?” you asked, surprised at what he had managed to make in the ten minutes you had set the time limit to.

“Just incredibly talented,” he said while lowering the paper down. He leaned down to his side out of your view, reappearing with his white dog in his lap. You laughed as you could see he was struggling to lift him up into the frame.

“He misses you,” Megumi said while the dog leaned completely in covering up camera with its nose.

“Aw hey there!”

You were about to continue praising his dog, only to be interrupted by the sound of a door slamming open, followed by Megumi’s voice.

“What the hell are you doing!?”

That was the last thing you heard before seeing the call end on his side.

You stood in front of the door to Megumi’s home, waiting for him to come open it after having sent the text that you were here.

Nobara had arrived around ten minutes ago, currently sitting next to Yuji and the couch as he basically explained what he had finished and what parts she was in. They both turned around to face the sound of a door opening seeing Megumi walk out, looking down at his phone before heading straight for the door. “Where are you going now?” Yuji asked, looking at his friend. “Nowhere, someone’s here to help me with a project,” he answered, opening the door to reveal you standing there. Nobara and Yuji were taken aback, especially since you greeted him so sweetly.

“Y/n?” Yuji asked, Nobara still staring you down.

“Hey guys,” You waved. “So, little suprise..”

Next day, and you were sat in class next to Nobara, helping her with beading a string she needed for one of her shirts. “Are you almost done?” she asked looking over at you.

“No, no i’m not almost done, you’ve asked that three time now.” She just huffed going back to sewing a button onto a pair of pants. “Serves you right.”

Maki slid a shirt, cut in the back to make stripes of loose fabric. “When you’re done, help me braid the back of that.”

“You guys suck for this.”

Panda, who was up looking for something behind you threw you three a glance. “I was gonna ask you for something, but I think those two have done enough.”

“Thank you for your mercy.”

Author’s Note: well they found out 🤗

erm also regarding last chapter when i said 7-8ish chapters left it’s probably closer to 10-11 chapters after this one tbh was feeling silly and added things 😋

hope you guys enjoyed!

Taglist below, feel free to comment or dm me to be added!!

TAGLIST

@iridescentrays @gumimegz @maya-maya-56 @mamafly @lunavixia @swissy23 @coltsgf @m00nglad3-mp3 @etsukis @xosren @qtnfer @oengleli @harek89 @y-sabell-a @morgyyyyyyy @getolvr @liliumaraneae @k3lbade @aiieera @dancedancey @get0sfav @chuyasthighs0 @hyssoplampflickers @kpopanimen @sad-darksoul @vivi-loves-penguins @kasumitenbaz @talkingsperm @nymphsdomain @inlovewithlondonn @rzcnlb @enchantingkitty @fuyuzemi @lysaray @ni-ki-ismyluv @renemy @frumira @mixzimi @miralunaela @dreamxiing @p3achiee @anianurst @nishii28 @arguendo @samutoru @hallothankmas @invisible-mori @aiserex @all-in-the-fandoms @milza12

[despairots]

#A NIGHT TO REMEMBER, o. dazai!

a special oneshot!

description, it’s special to know how the other feels. to communicate is the best, though, dazai isn’t one for words but it’s fine, you’re the same. neither of you can put the feelings you have into words.

— story contains, angst, established relationship, swearing, suicide mentions, depressing talks, “no longer human” connections i think?, r! psychoanalysis’s i guess?, mental health, trauma talking, character deaths, if i missed anything let me know! gender neutral! reader.

“why are you writing this?” bc dazai is one of the characters i heavily relate to on another level. hes so much different from mizuki akiyama and satoru gojo. and this is just me talking a lot about dazai’s character and analyzing him… btw, r! wears a black blazer (or leather jacket) white button up with a black waist coat, either brown shorts or pants (maybe black of u want), underneath the shorts or pants are like black tights and slip on penny loafers.

long before you started dating dazai, there was an obvious connection that you only saw and felt. obviously, you were friends during those time periods because you worked in the same place, everyone there were friends.

though, the friendship you two had were entirely different from the rest, had the same humour but showing it differently. you wouldn’t lie and say that dazai flirting with you just to ask for a double suicide didn’t concern you, because it did. there’s no doubt that he’ll try and eventually succeed (although, death doesn’t accept him).

there’s nothing that can kill this man, no matter how hard he tries. you picked that up during one of his failed attempts, it almost succeeded if kunikida wasn’t there, you thanked him a ton. all he said in response is that; “i have to look over that idiot one way or another.” no matter how much dazai annoys his coworkers, they still care.

when dazai tries to commit and somewhat fails, it’s almost like he’s punishing himself for still being alive. you know his past, after all, you were in port mafia with him, even though you two didn’t work together or how he didn’t know you during that time, you sure knew him.

he was surrounded by death, in the port mafia and the ada, it follows him yet never accepts it’s his time to come to the afterlife. he makes these plans that somewhat end up succeeding though he hurts himself in the process, always worrying you. what if eventually death actually accepts him at some point?

dazai has been extraordinarily smart every since he was a kid to the point where he’s been dehumanized by dubbing him; “the demon prodigy”. you didn’t know anything about his parents, you did know what drove him to be tired of living. he’s tired living, bored by life and the people around him, to him, they are easily predictable and manipulated that nothing can surprise him.

he can’t find sense to the world but most importantly, he doesn’t find sense in life, he ends up reverting to extensional depression, continuing the cycle he lives in.

dazai has been exploited ever since he was 14 and taken into the port mafia by mori. he was kept alive by mori, by chuuya, by everyone. he was used until there was nothing left. he never had any love nor hope (that he’d ever have someone to understand him) until a friend he later brought up to you, oda.

he truly believed he deserved everything that happened to him in the port mafia.

you believe that younger dazai never believed that he could be better, but if he’s changing now than he always had the ability to change, just never tried. he was sure the mafia was the only fate he had and the only place to escape of living.

then oda died. dazai was free, with ango’s help of wiping his criminal records. without ango’s help, he would’ve never been free from mafia, though he knows his past will always haunt him, he’s accepted that. he also knows that his indebted to ango, he knows he owes him.

since oda’s death, dazai’s trust had ran thin and he’s always on guard, his ability to open up to anyone had been cut off because he can not lose anyone again. the things he cares about and didn’t wanna lose, is lost the moment he gains it.

his plans always evolve other people, rather to manipulate or exploit. you don’t blame him, if it meant surviving, you would do it too.

he is someone who jokes but never opens up nor can be his true self. he’s a wreck who will drag anyone else down with him, that was a price you had to pay for dating him. he repulsed the idea of love and being in a relationship with you because of how he’ll be afraid of losing you.

dazai dated you as a joke, to see how thing will end, until he realized that you were somewhat different. you were always one step of ahead, had almost the same ability that involved contact, and you had this missing glint in your eyes. that’s just the surface though.

dazai knows there’s more to you— he doesn’t know about your connections to the port mafia though— but he doesn’t bother bringing the topic up to you though nor does he like talking about it.

at nights like this, where he’s staring aimlessly somewhere and devoid of emotion, he’s completely vulnerable in your shared dorm. sitting on the couch, cheek on the palm of his hand as the other searches the cold touch of your hand, seeking for some company.

—and you’re there. sitting on the couch with him and a book discarded in your lap, only staring at dazai with a look of curiosity and content, he looks peaceful despite the war going on in his head.

(you were memorized by the destruction he creates and has, it was peaceful to know what beautiful destruction that dazai carries with him).

when dazai feels the cold skin of your hand, he could feel his ability cancelling yours out as your hand covers his, holding it tightly yet so soft that he wonders if you’re even there. dazai finally looks at you, face still devoid of emotion, watching you reopen your book.

“morning, sleeping beauty.” you hummed softly, an amused tone with your words. dazai groaned and knocked your book off your lap, kicking his legs up into your lap and laying down, now staring up at the ceiling.

hearing dazai go silent wasn’t rare, it was rather common when you two are in your shared dorm, but not hearing him say something stupid back confused you.

you turned your head to dazai, taking notice of his eyes that threatened to pour tears in front of you, “you okay, ‘samu?” knowing him for a while now, he wouldn’t open up and talk about his feelings. it’s fine though, you’re like that too, and you wouldn’t mind waiting forever even if it didn’t come.

dazai didn’t respond.

he never did.

he closed his eyes and if you listened closer, you could hear the shaky breath that he exhaled. taking his hand in yours, you placed a chaste kiss to his palm, the contact making dazai open his eyes slowly and sit up on his elbows.

“when are you gonna leave?” he’s says stupid shit all the time, it doesn’t effect you, none of his words effect you. it should’ve effected you but it didn’t, and dazai could tell by the unamused look on your face, “when are you gonna take your life seriously?” you lightly jabbed at him, hearing him scoff and mutter ‘hypocrite’ underneath his breath.

dazai sat up properly, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hand, setting his head on your shoulder. dazai’s touch starved but refuses any contact that doesn’t involve him initiating it, you’re an expectation, you’ve always been every since the relationship started.

silence took over you, the fan in the background aswell as dazai’s calming breath stirring you into a tired state, laying your head on dazai’s head (knowing the neck pain wouldn’t be worth it tomorrow).

“y’know i’d wait, right?” dazai hums underneath his breath as a response, “how do i know you’re not lying?” and you scoff. rolling your tired eyes, for a guy like him to ask you that question is amusing. “we’ve been lying to eachother for a while but i’m not lying about this, ‘samu.”

the former executive makes himself more comfortable in the crook of your neck, forcing you to lay down and keep him close, “i know.” the words came out muffled, and alas, his eyes are shut again and his sleeping in your arms that are now warm.

with him being asleep, you could pick out the smallest details about the boy in your arms. in your arms, he isn’t the former demon prodigy, in your arms, he isn’t a former port mafia member, in your arms, he isn’t a dehumanized person.

he’s just a boy.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, but it’s okay, because you’re not one for words either. it’s gonna be like that for awhile, or forever, only time could tell. dazai knows this; you know this. and since dazai’s betrayal to the port mafia, he’s changing, but if he’s changing now, he was always capable of changing, he just never cared enough to try.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, neither are you.

tick.