#TFWID

[randomfoggytiger]

The Field Where I Died: The Tragic Flaws of Glen Morgan and James Wong

My thoughts on The Field Where I Died are divided into neat little categories for this episode: frustration for what we were given, acceptance of its existence, anger at Glen Morgan and James Wong's behind-the-scenes revelations, acknowledgment of their feelings, determination that the end product's truth was different than what was originally conceptualized, and genuine understanding of others' love for its creativity and vision.

But those thoughts are inseparable from a broader perspective of Morgan and Wong's work on Season 4.

I'm going to be pulling a lot of information from an interview here; but to save time (and sanity), I'll emphasize the quotes in italics instead of continually citing my source.

"I CAN DO BETTER" VISIONARIES

(Credit to: @sleepyscully.)

It's no secret that Morgan and Wong always wrote-- shall we say-- angsty episodes that drove a wedge in Mulder and Scully's relationship. Sometimes that was executed brilliantly-- Squeeze, Beyond the Sea, Home, Never Again-- and sometimes that was executed... badly. Their bent is the nature of conflict, and its potential resolution; or ideals and tarnished realities; or things we thought we knew and understood but never really did. And those are powerful tools... if, like all tools, they're wielded effectively.

They're the difference between the ridiculous conceit of Musings of a CSM-- an episode that set everyone against each other (we'll get to that)-- and Beyond the Sea-- and episode that wowed Carter (convincing him to keep Gillian on the show), fans, and critics alike.

I've already tackled how The Field Where I Died could work here (how Scully broke the cycle) and here (Scully, snakes, and reincarnation.) I have no qualms with the idea that Mulder and Scully themselves aren't romantic soulmates in every lifetime: that was never the magic of their relationship, to me. And I do love the concept that Melissa serves as a contrast for Mulder: as Morgan says,

 One reason why I wrote Melissa that way was my notion that if you’re Mulder and you found your soulmate, the love of all your loves, within the body of this unappealing person, what would you do? I don’t know if we totally explored that. I don’t know if Duchovny would agree with me – he knows more about Mulder – but I think Melissa is the type of women that Mulder would be attracted to. Someone like Bambi in ‘The War of the Coprophages’ is good for a joke, but I don’t really see Mulder going after her. There’s something sad about Melissa. There was a secret within her that was important for him to get at. That mirrors his life, and his own search for his sister. He is a character whose whole drive is to help everybody, but he’s so unsuccessful at that, and with helping himself. All he wants is to find one person that he can rescue – but he’s not too good at it.

No matter how despairing Mulder is, Morgan said, he would not be tempted, like Melissa, to end his life. “I looked at Melissa as if she decided reincarnation might be true, and that if she had chosen this life, at that point she realized, ‘This is a bad idea. This is a miserable life and I’m not getting much out of it. I’m just going back to heaven and I’ll wait for you.’ She wanted out. But Mulder, as much as he’d love to go to the other side to see what’s there, is a life-affirming character. He’s going to keep on looking. He’s not going to quit. Mulder has questions for this life.”

That rings true to me.

What I do have qualms with is that Mulder and Scully's incredible, undeniable, written-into-canon-at-this-point connection (that was established in the Pilot, purposefully, by Chris Carter himself, post here) is boiled down to a destined, warped tri-connection that is part of and secondary to his (chemistry-less) connection with a woman that doomed him in every lifetime. A woman who is an unreliable narrator, and who could easily be swaying Mulder into believing her story because of her own form of mental instability and fragility. It could be a beautiful love story, and it's undeniably beautifully shot (and mostly beautifully written), but it's not Mulder's-- it's Morgan's:

For Morgan, an episode about reincarnation and eternal soulmates was not just a good story for Mulder, but a personal expression of the thoughts and emotions he had experienced during the past year, when his relationship with Cloke grew from friendship into romance (they are now engaged), “I had gone through a failed marriage in which I had really believed,” Morgan revealed. “I had always wanted to believe there is somebody out there for you, and I had been in a situation where that didn’t come true. And I thought, ‘It’s a lie. That person you think is out there for you is a lie.’ But then I met Kristen and I was rejuvenated by that. I really thought. that you can be reborn in this life, not just life after death. I regained faith that there is one person for you, one person who, by being in your life, can motivate you to change the crappy things you were doing before. In this case, it was Kristen. I knew she did a lot of characters and voices, so I wanted to incorporate that.. I wanted to write something for her that challenged her. Also, I wanted to write something for David Duchovny that challenged him.”

("Challenged", indeed.)

And that... that rubs me the wrong way.

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU

I'm not here for Glen's romance, I'm sorry. I'm here to be persuaded that Mulder might have a soulmate, that Scully might be a soulmate, that all three could be bound in this doomed pattern for lifetimes; and if that cycle was broken with Melissa Ephesian's death. (More importantly: does Mulder and/or Scully believe it's broken?) What we were given instead was a memoir to love in general that shoehorned itself into the show without regard for canon.

I'm not angry with TFWID as much as I am other episodes (most of Existence and canon onward, for example) because Mulder and Scully's characterization never strays-- Field may have been carelessly wedged in, but it was skillful with its emotional exploration. Further, the events and facts presented so summarily contradict each other that there's no real "threat" propped up by its existence. And, while I can't excuse the cringe-inducing acting from Morgan's wife, I can explain why DD's turned out so "badly" (read: jarringly):

Bowman’s director’s cut ran so long that Morgan and Wong were forced to trim twenty minutes out of the episode.... Morgan felt that the emotional impact of Mulder’s hypnosis session might have been marred by the cutting, since it interfered with the flow of Duchovny’s acting throughout the entire scene. “I called David and I said, ‘I’m cutting it this way.’ I could hear that he was upset. I know what actors go through to prepare, and then to have to sit in a chair for a couple of hours in front of a bunch of grips and gaffers and people that they hang out with everyday, and cry – it’s just like taking off your clothes. And then to find it’s been cut out. I had to come home and tell Kristen, ‘Look, this part is coming out.’ She was upset and David was upset. Jim was off prepping ‘Musings of Cigarette Smoking Man’ or doing something and I was just very alone.’

(For context, the hypnosis scene was originally twelve minutes long.)

While I might be tempted to sympathize with Morgan, he didn't extend that sympathy equally to his wife or Duchovny, instead turning this combined loss into a one-sided self-pity party.

MULDER THE SACRIFICE, SCULLY THE SAVIOR

I also have a theory that Carter was writing Scully as a savior and Mulder as a sacrificial lamb for the mainline series (until he made William a magic baby and ruined eight years of build-up), post here.

There's a reason that The X-Files is told through Scully's perspective; and that Mulder is often compared to Ahab chasing the White Whale, to a man on a fated quest, to a boy who lost his sister and can't live freely until he has that closure. There's a reason that Scully is Mulder's "one-in-five billion", his salvation ("But you saved me!"), his constant, his touchstone-- and his "human credential", as David Duchovny put it. There's a reason that Carter banked an entire series off of a chemistry and bond he wrote into the graveyard scene, and maintains that that is when Mulder and Scully fell in love (though to what degree is up for fanon interpretation.) There's a reason that the CSM was wrong to picture Mulder as a Christ-like figure, and Scully was right to walk into Mulder's subconscious and rescue him with the truth ("Get up and fight.") There's a reason that Mulder's rescue in Deep Throat underscores his and Scully's partnership from then on out: he in danger-- be it from Jersey Devils, moth men, fated love triangles, Houston bombs, brain surgery, alien abduction-- and she his rescuer (discussed a little here.)

Why is this important? Because The Field Where I Died's concept is not without canonical merit: Mulder running headlong into danger, Scully holding him back long enough to prevent the cycle from repeating. And it ties into the mytharc's ad nauseam question of Fate v. Freewill (posts here and here.) TFWID could even work if you factor in the theory of Scully's immortality (post here.)

But the reality is, Morgan and Wong were not going for canonical adherence.

THE WONDER OF THE SUPERNATURAL, THE FAILURE OF THE HUMAN CONNECTION

Episodic timeline goofs and gaffes aside, the problems in The Field Where I Died lie deeper than which woman Mulder loves and which one he perpetually makes friendship bracelets with. The greatest problem arrives, settles, and stains with the introduction of soulmates: the recontextualization of the infamous MSR dynamic.

Morgan was focusing again on Mulder and Scully as humans; but he fumbled, amplifying then explaining away their "unspoken" as a supernatural connection rather than the meeting of uncannily similar minds:

Apart from personal considerations, Morgan and Wong wanted to reorient the show’s attitude towards the paranormal, which they felt in the third session had been expressed far too often as something evil or wrong. “The paranormal isn’t about death or evil,” Morgan said. “It’s about wonder.” In line with this approach, he and Wong wanted to avoid writing a conventional villain; instead, the principal conflicts take place between Mulder and Scully or are internal, with both Mulder and Melissa haunted by their pasts, in this life, and perhaps previous lives. 

Morgan and Wong wanted to zero in on two humans, and all their complications as such, brushing up against the unfathomable, neutral force beyond their comprehension... but then ruined that message, that build-up, by justifying the personal, human aspect-- their connection-- by making it inhuman, unnatural, and supernatural, too. All the while, of course, telling us (and believing themselves) that fans were upset because they introduced another romance for Mulder.

(As a side note: why do I excuse-- for lack of a better word-- David Duchovny's similar sentiments towards TFWID and its reception? Firstly, he, and others, genuinely loves it; and I'm happy for him. To David, it seems, love is more powerful when it is guaranteed for a lifetime and beyond-- the insecurity of someone falling out of love, platonically or romantically, is more powerful than a finite and fickle love that can be lost or tarnished. That being his interpretation-- and Morgan's intention-- I can see why he'd love TFWID. It's a powerful sentiment. More importantly, the man doesn't hold it against fans-- he thinks they misinterpreted its intent-- like Morgan thought they did-- understands why it would disgruntle, but maintains that he loves it, regardless. I can respect that position, even if we disagree; because the heart likes what it likes. I, for one, have my own likes that others might hate.)

LAZILY WRITTEN

The greatest mistake of all-- one Morgan humbly recognizes-- is the faults in the writing. Well... more accurately, that he and Wong failed to keep a complete vision that would (most definitely, guys) translate better to audiences. His ideas, I concede, were intriguing; but like all mediums, the final product is what audiences are left to judge and believe in. For TFWID, it was mixed up before the scenes were filmed, and hacked apart after the footage was wrapped-- so much so, that Morgan kept realizing the magnitude of his mistakes after the fact:

Under hypnosis, Mulder describes a scene of death and destruction from the Warsaw ghetto; in this past life, he is a Jewish woman, Scully is his father, Samantha is his son, and the Cigarette Smoking Man is a Gestapo officer. 

Next he [Mulder] becomes Sullivan Biddle, already dead in battle, Scully is his sergeant, and Melissa is there, as Sarah. He has no information on the bunkers, all he sees is death. Morgan wrote these scenes to express the overwhelming sense of loss that Mulder has felt his entire life. The scene was shot in extreme close-up, inspired, Morgan said, by his love of Ingmar Bergman’s films. “To spend three quarters of an act, six or seven minutes, in close-up, on television, is wonderful,” he said. “On TV, we’re always cutting back and forth. We’re always blowing stuff up. Jim and I participate in that. Act Four of ‘Home’ couldn’t be more different than act three of ‘The Field Where I Died.’ I’m proud of that. ”

(And you might have blown it, Glen.)

Morgan’s enthusiasm for the scene was not matched by a good number of the show’s fans, who felt the scene was overwrought, both in the writing, and in Duchovny’s performance. “I think both Kristen and David did a great job,” Morgan said. “David just can’t win. If he walks around going, ‘Scully, I’m going here. Oh. Extreme possibilities,’ everyone says, ‘...that guy just mumbles his way through.’ If he emotes, people don’t want to see that. People can say his acting was bad. I don’t think that it was, but some felt it was obviously ‘acting.’ It’s in a close-up, it’s a long monologue, so it points to acting. 

(An unnecessarily long scene that, unfortunately, had to be chopped; and was chopped so badly that, consequently, it lost its nuance and made Duchovny look like a fool by proxy.)

Bowman’s director’s cut ran so long that Morgan and Wong were forced to trim twenty minutes out of the episode, including eliminating one of Melissa’s personalities, a crude loudmouth named Jobee, as well information that supported Scully’s viewpoint, and large sections from Melissa’s and Mulder’s hypnosis sessions

 “If we’d focused on Scully’s viewpoint more, we could have thrown up the idea that maybe Mulder’s wrong, maybe this is just wishful thinking,” Morgan added. “I know this sounds really bad, but to me the hypnosis scene is more important than a teaser. I was desperate to cut out time, and in favoring emotional content over plot content, I might have blown it.”

[Morgan]: "... I read a post online asking why Scully was always a man in the past, and I hadn’t thought about that. I wish I had altered that; it was a mistake.”

And it wasn't just TFWID that was littered with inconsistencies in service to Morgan and Wong's vision.

TFWID, "MUSINGS", AND THE BLAME GAME

When Morgan and Wong returned from their other writing projects, they had to decide whether to leave the studio-- angry at its interference-- or take a deal and partly work for The X-Files and Millennium. Obviously they chose the latter, and rejoined after a hiatus of one or two years. In that time, the X-Files had become a hit. But M and W had changes, and plans to execute those changes, in mind: they both thought that the show had strayed from its original vision-- again, the "wonder" of the paranormal and supernatural-- and would be set to (better) rights with their input and direction.

Not all of their work was flawed-- Home and Never Again were tightly written-- and not all of their ideas were self-involved. For example: when joining the show, they and the other writers were told this season's purpose was to drive a wedge between Mulder and Scully, and framed Never Again around that idea:

“My understanding at the beginning of the year was that we were going to drive to a point where Mulder and Scully didn’t trust each other,” Morgan said. His own scenario for plotting out the season was somewhat different from what Carter and the other writers came up with this year, but the fundamental issue was the same: trust. “I would have slowly split Mulder and Scully up over the course of the season, then in the last episode have Scully put Mulder away for his own good, which he would perceive as the ultimate betrayal,” Morgan said. “And then the next season, they would have had an entire year’s healing to go through.”

That's not an entirely unreasonable direction to take, either.

The other writers had other plans. For good or ill, it was Chris's show; and Chris wanted to steer it in a certain direction. Those who joined and added their thoughts cohesively helped construct the mainline arcs that bloomed into Season 4's cancer revelation and Season 5's lack of faith, as well as building up Fight the Future concurrently. M and W, however, felt bruised when their visions were either tweaked or countermanded; and left the experience disgruntled. For good or ill, Chris Carter, Glen Morgan, and James Wong all had good and bad ideas; but only one of them had created the show-- something which the latter two couldn't, at times, accept.

Case and point: I detour to Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man because that episode-- from its conception to its creation to its execution-- explains clearly what led Morgan and Wong astray.

Home was successful, The Field Where I Died much less so. For both episodes, Chris Carter seemed content to let Morgan and Wong do whatever they wanted. However, a shift occurred when fans fell out of sync with M and W's vision (TFWID); and that shift manifested when Glen and James immediately wanted to jump into a CSM backstory, the mytharc domain of CC. Both writers felt the big bad of The X-Files had become gutless; and they wanted to inject some terror into him by killing off Frohike in the end. Per their original vision, the narrative element was excluded and CSM would reclaim his villainy via a Forrest Gump monologue then follow through by gunning down an innocent man. Chris Carter, meanwhile, did not want Frohike killed and did not think that CSM would care to waste time murdering a relative nobody to his life and work. William B. Davis, CSM's actor, was also insistent this version of CSM was not his character; and was so dissatisfied with it that he called up CC himself. Carter tried to appease all sides with a compromise: letting M and W write what they wanted (within limits) and reassuring himself and WBD that this episode wasn't canon:

Davis promptly called Carter to ask if this was the real history of the Cigarette Smoking Man (Carter told him no).

...“The Cigarette Smoking Man’s flashbacks were my idea, because I indeed wanted the episode to be a memoir,” Morgan said. But the idea that Frohike could be the real narrator was a Carter-imposed addition to the script, to make it seem as if the events of the episode were not real. Carter even changed the name of the script, from “Memoirs of a Cigarette Smoking Man” to “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man.”

[Wong]: ...“The line where Deep Throat says, ‘Maybe I’m not the liar’ was another change imposed on the script so you could make the leap that perhaps this is all. a dream, or the ramblings of Frohike.”

If that weren't potentially explosive enough, Morgan and Wong went behind Chris's back, consulting others on set to create their vision, anyway. When CC turned down Glen's dogged request, twice, to film an alternate ending, Wong took matters into his own, unauthorized hands:

Morgan and Wong felt so strongly about this issue, that they decided to try an end run around Ten Thirteen. They figured that if they filmed the scene their way, and cut it into the episode, it would be so powerful that Carter would have to agree with them. Morgan called Wong up in Vancouver and told him to take a few crew members while everyone else was at lunch, and get some shots of blood spattering on the sign to the Lone Gunman offices. Wong decided against the stealth approach; instead, he filmed William B. Davis pulling back on the trigger, and Tom Braidwood, as Frohike, getting a bullet in the head. Morgan nearly panicked when he heard what his partner had done; he was certain word of it would reach Ten Thirteen down in Los Angeles. His fears were justified.

Carter, meanwhile, allegedly proved how cleverly his fingers always remained on the pulse of the show:

Wong recalled: “I was in the editing room, and I said to the editor, why don’t we print up the B negative? We’ll cut it in and show Chris. [The “B” negative was the negative with the footage of the Cigarette Smoking Man pulling the trigger and Frohike getting shot.] And the editor told me, ‘You can’t do that.’ I said, ‘What do you mean, we can’t do that? Just print the B negative.’ He said, ‘Well, it’s been taken out of the lab. It can’t be found.” In a move worthy of a scene from an X-Files episode, someone had deliberately removed the negative without telling Morgan and Wong, and they had no idea where it was. 

(And how do we know this was CC's doing? Because every single actor, writer, and director interviewed always marveled at his inhuman ability to be aware of every single, teeny tiny detail on set.)

Apparently, the incident blew over wordlessly, so much so that Chris asked Glen and James to help flesh out Millennium and called them up, years later, to craft the Revival with him (and sat nearby while Morgan teasingly alluded to the above incident, just a few years ago.)

To tie it all back to The Field Where I Died: the work they created-- while beautifully written-- was sloppily fitted into the show they were hired to write for:

And then there were the timeline inconsistencies, which Morgan and Wong didn’t even know about until the episode aired and Morgan logged on and was bombarded with dozens of internet posts complaining that the events of “Musings” couldn’t be for real, because they contradicted the teaser to “Apocrypha.” In the “Apocrypha” teaser, which is set in 1953, a young Cigarette Smoking Man (already smoking), a young Bill Mulder, and a third man, all in civilian dress, question a horribly burned submarine crewman who had encountered an alien in a flashback shown in the previous episode, “Piper Maru.” Morgan’s version proposed an entirely different history, with the young Cigarette Smoking Man and Bill Mulder, both Army officers, first meeting in 1961 at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The Cigarette Smoking Man doesn’t even smoke, until he takes his first nervous puff late in the first act. Although Morgan and Wong had seen “Apocrypha,” they didn’t remember the events of the teaser. “Okay, we’re sloppy,” Morgan admitted.

To top off the battle of egos, Glen and James laid a portion of the blame at the nameless feet of some faceless "other" rather than taking it upon themselves... or having the guts to point the finger at one person in particular:

“But somebody should have told us. They all read the script. It was the same thing that happened to us on ‘Little Green Men when we showed Samantha’s abduction.'” Added Wong: “If somebody had said, ‘Hey, you know, in the third season, this was said and this doesn’t make sense anymore.’ And we would have changed it. But nobody told us that And the internet people go, ‘This doesn’t make sense,’ and now we look like idiots. We have part of the blame obviously; we didn’t know. We didn’t catch it.”

(It's easy to feel for them and their position... until you realize that there is no evidence-- that I have found-- of them asking if there was a show bible or other resource to consult. Meaning, again, that M and W have to take some blame for this grievance, as well.)

And last but not least, they-- particularly Glen Morgan-- martyred their pain instead of fully accepting and owning their own part in this ever-evolving disaster:

But their disappointment over the changes they were forced to make “Musings of Cigarette Smoking Man” caused them to withhold the ghost story and look for something else. “I had done a lot of research and I had always wanted to write a feature about Lincoln’s ghost,” Morgan said, “But I felt they didn’t want my heart and soul anymore, so I wouldn’t give this one to them."

CONCESSIONS

While these two scalawags contributed their fair share to frustrating and complicated behind-the-scenes shenanigans, their instincts weren't completely wrong, nor all their conduct unrighteous.

They were right on the money with Home--

“Thematically, Sheriff Taylor was doing the same thing that the brothers were doing. They didn’t want things to change,” Morgan said. Scully conducts an examination on the baby, and when the DNA tests come back, she is shocked to find results impossible to believe; they indicate the child had three fathers.

“It was much more controversial than we thought it would be,” Wong said. “Some fans were repulsed beyond analyzing the show; they were just kind of sickened by it. They were pretty turned off. Some people loved it. There was a lot of really, really negative reaction.”

“I have really been stung by that whole reaction,” Morgan admitted. “To me, the show must have become so big while we were away. I think a lot of people hadn’t been exposed to what we did when we were first on the show. They were going, '...what are they doing?’ and we go, ‘But, this is what we always did!’ We had “Squeeze,” or episodes like Chris’ ‘Irresistible,’ these shocking, horrible shows. Act four of ‘Tooms’ I think is on a level with ‘Home,’ so we were going, ‘What is all the ruckus about?’ We figured a lot of people don’t know that earlier stuff, or certain tones that we were going after then.”

-- and Never Again--

“He’s been caught off guard by not knowing something about her,” Morgan said. “A date with someone in Philadelphia, someone he’s never heard of, someone she’s never told him about. He’s unnerved by his lack of certainty about her, with her being wrong about Ed.” The episode ends with Scully telling Mulder firmly, “It’s my life,” and Mulder saying, “But it’s…” and suddenly stopping. Why didn’t he finish his sentence? “It was our way of saying to the other writers, ‘Here’s where Mulder and Scully are, and now the ball is in your court,'” explained Morgan. “That’s what I always felt was our role. In the first couple of years when we were on the show, we might hand it off and then have to pick up the ball ourselves a couple of episodes later, but knowing we were about to leave and would have no input whatsoever, we just said, ‘Well, here’s this thing, how about this? Now it’s yours.’ I feel that Mulder had come to respect that there’s more to this than just him, that Scully is now a part of his life and he’s a part of hers. I think that she learned the danger of exploring the rebellious side, and that it has to be accompanied by responsibility. What she did almost got her killed. So I think that she probably has it a little in check, and yet she’s always carrying the memory of it on her back. It isn’t anything for her to let go of. But next time she’ll be smarter about it, and she won’t let it get so far away from her.”

--and were misunderstood both times.

They were also wrongfully done by here or there--

Morgan had the unhappy task of telling an understandably upset Anderson that the scene she specifically requested had been cut. 

Morgan and Wong were frustrated once more when the network decided to move “Never Again” out of its post-Super Bowl slot, and substitute “Leonard Betts,” the episode that was originally scheduled to air after “Never Again.” “Leonard Betts” ended with the wrenching realization by Scully that she might have contracted the cancer that afflicted the other female abduction victims she met in second season’s “Nisei.” This revelation impacted the rationale behind Scully’s behavior in “Never Again” in ways never intended by Morgan and Wong. “I felt horrible,” Morgan stated. “Those are not her motives for her actions in this episode. The motives in ‘Never Again’ are completely altered by posing that she has a disease or a death sentence...."

-- but did wrong themselves, despite unprecedented creative freedom (see the previous section.)

The trouble, it seems, is an inability to differentiate the criticisms they receive. The pearl-clutching, deaf-and-dumb moralizers over Home are not the same crowd scratching (nay, banging) their heads over the blatant and illogical inconsistencies in The Field Where I Died and Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man. (In fact, the last episode mentioned aged nicely, if the IMDb numbers haven't lied.) And that trouble compounds when they can't understand why a behemoth ship, constantly taking on mounting expectations and schedules, might halt for pit stops but won't change course for inconsistent passengers.

Lastly, while I can sympathize with the emotions both Glen Morgan and James Wong felt for having their work constantly tampered with, that sympathy dwindles when contemplating a few factors:

They were working for someone else's show, not their own.

They were given unlimited creative freedom upon their return, and were only reigned in after their projects continued to falter.

They were butting heads against two factors that the show runner himself wanted to keep ambiguous or under hat: CSM's backstory and Mulder and Scully's lives outside of work.

Having one's spirit crushed by back-to-back disappointments can't solely fall on the shoulders of the network or show runners when the first two ventures weren't touched, tampered, or changed (except for a run time you knew you had going in); and they can't fall solely on fans when the end results provided were lackluster in quality.

And an important last note: I do not feel that Glen Morgan or James Wong acted maliciously-- carelessly, mostly; overly self-involved here or there, most probably. Their focus remained on fleshing out the characters, exploring the ramifications of their actions, and digging up and handing over imperative context for canon-- attempting to iron out Mulder and Scully's split-up, William's adoption, and Charlie's estrangement in the Revival, for example. But they're not saints; and they still have an edge against criticism and interference that clings to and eats away at the quality of their work. In short, we are only glimpsing one aspect of Morgan's and Wong's lives during an intensely frustrating moment in their lives-- but it was important enough to The Field Where I Died's lore that I felt it was crucial to share.

CONCLUSION

For me, I'm glad Morgan and Wong messed up so badly that Gestapo CSM was still alive when canon CSM was born. To me, I think Morgan was way too eager (kindly, I shall reframe from saying 'self-involved') and way too disinclined to ask for necessary criticism for his projects. To me, I'm certain Morgan and Wong cared more about their concepts than the canon they were writing for-- making Mulder and Scully platonic (but could become romantic?) soulmates without providing essential explanation or further clarity. To me, I think focusing only on what Mulder gets out of this arrangement-- instead of exploring how this would affect Scully, as well-- was a cheap maneuver to vehicle in Morgan and his wife's love story (the same impulse that drove Morgan to write Melissa Scully as a romantic option for Mulder, that inspired the death of Frohike, and that butchered Maggie Scully's deathbed in Home Again: the impulse of wanting things his way.) For me, I'm glad this episode was too long, was chopped up very badly, and was ultimately exposed as a vanity project by fans' negative reactions. And, to me, I believe that negative reaction was largely brushed aside-- ignorantly, though not maliciously-- by Morgan because "fans just wanted Mulder and Scully together."

And, lastly: to me, Glen Morgan and James Wong-- while wrong to some extent-- at least take (partial) fault for their vision going awry. We're all human, we all make mistakes; we all learn and grow.

The rest I leave to you to draw your own conclusions.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[randomfoggytiger]

I love this-- it captures the "polaroids/vintage photo" feeling of the episode... and it makes me nostalgic for what could have been.

4 x 05 The field where i died

[presidentmanpeenuts]

"Your eyes may have changed color... but it cannot color the soul behind them."

xfiles- the field where I died 4x5

[mulderscully]

crying about "even if i knew for certain, i wouldn't change a day." on a saturday night because that moment is soooo layered. not just mulder calling scully by her first name, not just the fact that he is asking her about the possibility that they've known each other in countless lifetimes before, but the fact that scully takes him so seriously. she doesn't scoff or roll her eyes or say "mulder, that's ridiculous." like she would about any other outlandish idea he would have. if there is one thing she can put her rationality aside it's for the notion that mulder is her person and always has been and always will be.

[atths--twice]

A friend posted a picture they took on Twitter. It made me think of The Field Where I Died and immediately a thought for a story began. (This is not their picture, but it’s similar.)

Past and Present

“I saw you here, Scully. Not you, but you. I…”‬

She draws in a deep breath and says nothing, not sure she truly believes any of it, despite the photographs she had found.

“You don’t believe it,” he states, his head turned away from her as the wind nearly steals his words.

“I don’t know,” she tells him honestly, watching the way his shoulders slump and how he nods his head. “You really think we always find each other? Always traveling together in some way?”

“Wouldn’t you like to think that was possible?” he asks, turning his head to look at her. “That… something is pulling us together?”

“And that maybe we’ve lived thousands of lives, in different realities, but always together somehow?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Would it be so bad?” he whispers back as she stares at him, his eyes sad and hopeful.

“No, I suppose it wouldn’t be,” she says, a smile beginning and then dying as she suddenly feels like weeping.

“No,” he says softly, looking out at the field again. “It wouldn’t be.”

Holding back her tears, she swallows hard to push down the large lump in her throat. He is there beside her, but she feels as though she is alone, left behind and waiting for him to find her again.

Then, the tips of his fingers walk their way across her palm, grasping her hand and squeezing gently. She closes her eyes and squeezes back as the feeling of sadness is erased entirely and is replaced with a happiness she will never be able to explain.

“I told you I’d be here,” a voice says behind her and she gasps as she turns around.

Mulder. But not Mulder. Not really.

“I wasn’t sure. I thought…” she says, her heart pounding from the worry she had been feeling and the relief she felt now.

“Thought I wouldn’t keep my promise? To you?” He smiles and she smiles back, his eyes shining in the bright moonlight above them.

“I was plagued by many worries,” she admits with a sigh.

“You never have to worry again. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. I love you far too much.”

“And I love you.”

He steps closer and they embrace, his familiar body warming her and erasing any lingering fears.

He is hers and she is his.

That is all that matters.

Scully opens her eyes and expels a shaky breath as she releases Mulder’s hand.

“You okay?” he asks in the same voice she had just heard declaring his love for her.

“I’m fine,” she breathes, turning her head so he does not see her tears.

He says nothing for a few seconds and then he clears his throat.

“We… we should get going.”

“Yes,” she agrees, taking the lead and walking through the field towards the car, not looking back.

Mulder walks behind her, watching her move with a determined purpose.

Taking a deep breath, he turns his head and looks back, knowing what he will see, but wishing he will be wrong.

It’s only the empty field; the tall grass bending gracefully as the wind gently blows through it.

But he knows. He knows what he saw. What he had felt.

The warmth of her body and the scent of her hair as she stood with him in that same spot, in yet another reality. A different life, but always traveling together.

I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. I love you far too much.

And I love you.

The words he heard echo loudly in his head. He closes his eyes and hopes that wherever that life had led them, it was rich with happiness and devoid of any suffering.

[randomfoggytiger]

Hi, anon!

If you want to learn to appreciate the episode more, I'd go to @deathsbestgirl, who loves it (and writes spectacular meta on any topic~!)

If you want to read my meta on how, perhaps, it could make sense in the larger canon-- that Scully breaks the curse inflicted on herself, Mulder, and Melissa Rydell, thus severing the "soulmate" connection between Mulder and Melissa-- you can find it here~.

If you want to read fics that make it aaaaaaaaall better, here's my fic collection post here~.

And if you want the cult who don't like it, we welcome you with open arms~. >:DD

At the end of the day, TFWID was Morgan and Wong's brainchild-- you know, the two guys who wanted Mulder and another Melissa to hook up in One Breath. They (and David Duchovny) love the ethereal concept of soulmates being separate from a one-true-love-- that groups of souls will always be connected to each other through time. It was just incredibly poorly executed. Chopping the plot way down, then giving either Morgan's or Wong's wife excessive screentime, was not... the wisest decision of their career.

I think my meta really does work with their original concept while also honoring the nature of Mulder and Scully's relationship: that both agents may or may not be soulmates, but they become greater when they purposefully choose each other.

And if all else fails, don't hesitate to go search my archives through #TFWID to find more content (meta, gifs, screenshots, fics) that might be up your alley. :DDDD

Please don't hate me, but I cannot stand the episode "the field where I died"

I don't know why I dint like it, but I can't get my bearings around it. Maybe it's because I don't truly understand its meaning and purpose. To be honest, I saw it only once and had a bad taste in my mouth. What's it truly about? Is it that Scully isn't his real soul mate but this other lady? Would he lay down his life and soul for this other woman who he is connected to by time and other past lives instead of Scully?

Please, someone, help me see why I should review my stance on this episode. What are some redeeming aspects that I am missing? Did I completely misunderstand the episode?

Note: I might dislike the episode because of what I perceive as forced acting on the lady's character with the different accents and personalities.

I would never hate you, anon. Everyone has their own opinion and that's how it should be! You're also not at all alone on this. Many people don't like the episode, myself included. I don't hate it, but it's definitely not my favorite.

Scully is his soulmate - there are wonderful meta posts about this episode. CC just seemed to want to stress that Mulder and Scully are not romantic. They were always in each other's lives. Whether as friend or family member. That is the only redeeming aspect I can think of, to be honest. Much like you, I find the acting very exhausting.

[carefulfears]

https://www.tumblr.com/waiting-for-the-day/722383162274119680/whats-your-opinion-on-davids-acting-as-mulder

Thank you for that!! Saying that he’s a bad actor is a big reach but I’ve heard it from a lot of people.. I don’t think he’s bad at all… we all love Mulder for what he is and that’s mostly thanks to what he brought to his character. (Also, puppy dog eyes.)

yeah for sure!! i know he doesn’t have as much training (and therefore control) as some but i do agree it’s a stretch to say he’s a bad actor. he always maintained an understanding of the emotional connotations of a scene and knew how to carry himself accordingly, and brought so many small details forward so affectively.

the vast majority of the x-files is unspoken and david could more than hold his own when it came to that kind of expression.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

about to embark on s4 for the second time, only i am stronger now and sexier and ready to pay the ultimate price (the field where i died) so that i might reap the ultimate reward (memento mori)!!!!!

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Heart: Alluring Temptations, Denial, and the Slow Burn

In the novelization of Darin Morgan's episode War of the Coprophages (post here), Dr. Bambi Berenbaum is described as "the most beautiful woman that Mulder has ever seen" (loosely quoted, thank you @wonderxphile~.) The thought struck me that, perhaps, it's not an invention or interpretation of the novelist's so much as an offshoot of the root of Mulder's romantic inclinations-- specifically, ones that relate to his self-imposed celibacy.

During the early years of the show, David Duchovny described Mulder's choice to remain single in a particularly singular way: that Mulder was so dedicated to his work that any relationship or life outside of it would feel like cheating. As intriguing as that thought is, another crops up: if that be the case, why was he almost drawn off-course by various women on the show?

THE DESIRE OF THE EYE

All but one of Mulder's short love interests are narratively sexual characters. Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley were exes, both intending to seduce, distract, and control his focus away from the mission. Kristen Kilar and Bambi Berenbaum were two beautiful women that drew and attached his eye immediately. Lastly, Melissa Riedel was a bit of an outlier who still exuded the same pull as the other four: a commonality with Mulder-- one who "understood" him in ways other women hadn't (or wouldn't.)

If his work is his wife, then they are his (potential) mistresses.

Mulder fell hard and fast; but snapped out of his rose-colored fog just as quickly. Each woman didn't withstand the test of his work, always turning their back on him for someone else, someone "greater."

Except for Dana Scully.

SLOW BURN AND DENIAL

The difference between Scully and the other women was that she didn't knock Mulder's socks off at first sight: baggy suit, green haircut, cutting science, and fire-breathing accountability challenged and won his trust before it won his heart.

Be that as it may, within two episodes Mulder had very, very quickly shifted his estimation of Scully from spy to maneuverable hindrance to partner.

By Squeeze he was undeniably, irrevocably territorial. While he respected her decision to leave, he would most certainly have continued tracking her down wherever she was working to discuss details of his case, her case, or any tidbits in-between (as depicted by him interrupting her stakeout.)

Season 2 beat Mulder over the head until he realized how closely he tied Scully to the work. In Little Green Men, he needed her encouragement to combat self-doubt; but more importantly, he needed her there with him, by his side. After her abduction in Ascension, he became listless, self-destructive (@cecilysass's excellent meta here), and dispassionate for the work: there was no curiosity or joy of discovery in 3's case-- in fact, there was no joy at all. In One Breath, he tried to barter his life's work for Cancer Man's location, resigning anyway out of sheer guilt. (Later, he tried to sell his soul again, more directly, to save Scully's life in Memento Mori.) By Firewalker, Scully had already eclipsed the work-- which Mulder didn't acknowledge, to her or himself, until Fight the Future-- and he frequently abandoned leads or "the truth" if he thought her life was in danger. Although she had become indispensable, Mulder didn't realize he loved her until later in the narrative.

Still.

Scully acknowledged her feelings, indirectly, at various times through the series; but he only initiated when afraid she'd leave, forever. While genuinely blinded by his quest, Mulder wasn't stupid. Scully fishing for his genetics in Home led him to banter away the conversation, later fixing a chair firmly under the broken lock separating their rooms. Scully bringing a cheese platter to celebrate in Detour didn't grab his attention from the mystery, but it underscored his efforts to deflect her serious topic later in the forest.

Because, at the heart of the matter (the very place he tried to avoid), Mulder lived in bone-deep denial.

In E.B.E., he quips, "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot"; in Irresistible, he fumes over no one noticing where "a pretty woman" went; even in A Ghost That Stole Christmas he huffs, "We're not lovers." Maggie Scully ascertained his feelings immediately in Ascension, and Melissa Scully pushed him to acknowledge them in One Breath: "At least she'll know. And so will you." During the cancer arc, he embraces Scully for never giving up, doesn't discuss her cancer unless absolutely necessary, freely offers affection on her deathbed; then afterward, tries to deflect a personal talk in the woods while in shock. Even thoughts of harm coming to his partner-- be it not wanting to consider Scully possibly dying in Piper Maru or the split second of doubt despite evidence when she did "die" in Kitsunegari-- throws up an instant wall of denial.

Mulder knew something was "there" after Melissa Scully made him confront himself-- in fact, he likely already sensed something during his conversation with Scully in Tooms-- but he didn't want to poke around to find out exactly "what" it was. He wasn't ready.

Yet.

"FOX " OR "MULDER"

The women closest to Mulder ended up calling him "Fox" (or "Sullivan")... all except Scully, his abandoned lunch colleague in Little Green Men, and the phone sex operator in Small Potatoes.

Scully herself is an even more isolated case, of course.

When she began to make a personal confession in Tooms, Mulder uncomfortably laughed off her "Fox...": "I even made my parents call me 'Mulder'. So. 'Mulder'." Perhaps that's true (or perhaps not, since his father and mother also called him "Fox.") Regardless, he sensed Scully was letting her guard down; and, fearing she was opening her heart in another direction, tried to fend off any loving regard. Scully surprised him, however: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" incorporated his preference, expressed her loyalty, and was a far cry from a lovesick oath. He teased the moment away, pleased; then was, by turns, caught, unsettled, and relieved by her repartee.

From that point on, his moniker began to change from professional shield to personal endearment.

But what does this have to do with Mulder's mistresses?

SCULLY, HIS LIFE

Scully was inextricably linked with the work after her return; and, whether Mulder had fully accepted his love for her yet or not (and I'm beginning to think he hadn't fully until her cancer diagnosis), she was now his life. Drawing her away from a "normal life" and dragging her dog along on a lake monster excursion became an expected, routine part of his weekend.

Bambi-- the "most beautiful woman"-- appeared during this chummy, Season 3 phase. When larger questions and greater fears shook stability from under his feet, Melissa Riedel-- the alleged soulmate-- made her (apparently) destined entrance.

Both women fell into a pattern Phoebe and Kristen set: bold, shiny new possibilities; then solace-seeking and grasping insecurity. That pattern, however, was broken during the cancer arc, as exemplified by the exception to this general rule: Diana Fowley.

ESCAPING THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER

Phoebe, Kristen, Bambi, and Melissa effortlessly lured Mulder's focus from his own aims. Not permanently; just enough to create a foil for the work-- a.k.a. Scully. Mulder suffered a few burns from his false romances (post here): passing out from smoke inhalation, watching three buildings go up in flames, and being dismissed from the life of each romantic interest. Diana, too, betrayed him; and Diana, too, was tied to the blaze in his office.

However, Agent Fowley was not sought after like her predecessors. She was also the first to notice a change in Mulder.

When she arrived on the scene, boldly hitching her wagon to his theories and his work, she expected him to readily accept, nay beg, her back on the files. Instead, Mulder laughed off her concerns about Scully, gushing over his new partner's innate ability to make him "work for it." Further, he stuck by Scully's side when his ex was hospitalized, only straying in The Beginning when Diana created an elaborate ruse to separate the two. He didn't initiate or reciprocate her kiss in One Son; and he was more baffled than beaming when "she" wanted to play domesticly-ever-after in Amor Fati. In short, Mulder was not drawn romantically to Diana, at all: in fact, he was wary. Friendly, but distant.

She'd missed her chance.

If Diana had swooped in sometime before Memento Mori's unification, she could have exploited the gnarly feeling that had been building since early Season 4, or widened its distance post Never Again-- a distance that had been building since Mulder's sloughed-off remark in Home and unwitting partner replacement in The Field Where I Died. (More accurately, if CSM had bothered to pay close attention to his lab rats, he'd have noticed a weakness in their partnership and sent in his super rat to exploit it.) As it happens, she did not.

MULDER'S HEART

What does this mean for Mulder and Scully?

At the outset, I believed Mulder learned the depth of his love for Scully during the events of One Breath-- now, however, I'm convinced that's only half true.

Scully had already replaced the work's importance in his life, but neither understood the depths of his reliance on and devotion to her. Mulder was still gut-reacting, not wanting to delve too deeply into his heart to find the truth there. Never Again gave him a great and terrible shakeup because he'd taken Scully's place at his side for granted-- he'd thought "This work is my life" also extended to her, and that she'd glanced at his offer and was preparing to reject it. Mulder was living in full-blown denial: denial so deep that only the incurable, inescapable possibility of her death could tear his blinders off.

After her diagnosis, that denial was blown to pieces; and, afraid to face the ramifications of his realization, and her remission, he kept fleeing. As Scully says in Dreamland I, "We, we just keep driving."

That brings us back to Phoebe Green-- dangerous allure-- and Kristen Kilar-- mutual mourning partner-- and Dr. Berenbaum-- the "most beautiful woman"-- and Melissa Riedel-- tortured twin soul-- and Diana Fowley-- ancient history. His heart was free in Fire, unconsciously grieving in 3, charmingly in denial in War of the Coprophages, seeking Scully in other lives in The Field Where I Died, and beating only for her in The End.

CONCLUSION

A very interesting, complicated man, indeed.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[randomfoggytiger]

I reblogged this-- hee hee Tumblr humor-- mainly because their faces are perfect here.

Scully's little gentle, snarky, remark.

Mulder's weary but relieved and settled smile and twinkle in his eye.

Great acting, you two.

[harmonicabisexuals]

i do think it’s funny that Morgan and Wong wrote “The Field Where I Died” partly to challenge David Duchovny’s acting skills, which like, he’s decent in it, but his acting in “Paper Hearts” is so much better without even trying

[asifyoudidntknow]

When he spoke, his voice was low and she had to strain to catch it, but what he said made her smile. "Because I like to think that once in a blue moon, you feel the same kind of inexplicable things that I do." His lips curved in a wry little smile as he turned and looked out the window again. His hand tightened on hers gently. Scully looked at his averted profile. Lonely. She realized in surprise. Mulder was lonely. He was a genius, with a sixth sense--and maybe a seventh--and a biting sense of humor, but he didn't have very many friends. It took awhile to get used to him. To really get to know him and like him. Would she have made the effort if she hadn't been forced to?

The Letter by Shalimar

[benoitblanc]

major props to glenmorgan jameswong for using s4 to write the four most batshit episodes of the entire show and then peacing out for 20 years

[ibringyouasong89]

I think, if anything, Scully is being half serious and half joking. Half serious because, if started talking the way he usually rants in front of her, TLG, or Skinner, yeah, he’d be committed and it’s scary for both her and him (that they are consciously agreeing to that thought, mentally and emotionally, is “lksjdflksdjfksdjfjsdlfkjds”). I think there’s also the part where Mulder is also being half serious and half joking about that possibility and Scully can meet him at both sides of that, mentally and emotionally. Mulder, as usual, mixes seriousness and vulnerability with humor to deflect, but also to present his vulnerabilities (to Scully) in a non-defensive way...humor softens him. Scully, instinctively, understands that, and so she can quirk a small grin on pursed lips when agreeing with such a statement. And that’s what makes them, and their dynamic, so damn special - despite what CC and those damn writers would try and have us believe, Scully is Mulder’s REAL soulmate; the half that doesn’t complete him (nobody is REALLY incomplete without another person, however romantic and repetitive that particular message society has programmed into us via Hollywood, with their rom-coms and epic love stories, or the music industry or even through marketing), but compliments him and makes him understand himself, and the world, better. She makes him want to BE better and as much as Mulder could’ve gotten swept up by the romantic notion of Melissa Ephesian being a potential soulmate being reincarnated to briefly meet in passing in this life, it’s pretty much a sure thing that it would’ve never worked out and that her ties to him were exactly where they belonged - in the past, in a different life (and even then Scully was dying right there next to him, as his Lieutenant) and that for him to grow and become a stronger individual, and a better version of himself, he had to be with Scully; full stop.  Plus, as anyone else will tell you that is an avid fan of the show, there are a lot of issues with Mulder’s past life regression and the people he names as having contact with throughout those lifetimes, that don’t line up with specific timelines and events. Which, in hindsight, the writers might’ve done on purpose - in the hypnosis session with Dr. Werber - in order to highlight: One, Mulder’s romantic whimsy and the conscious suggestions which could’ve triggered these false past life memories or Two, that Dr. Werber was working for “Them” and was, in some way or another, planting false memories into Mulder’s mind so as to keep him from leaving the game of cloak and dagger that The Consortium was playing with him and his life. Very cat and mouse as usual and hard to prove...but in all honestly, if either theory were to be confirmed to be true, or even both to be correct simultaneously, I would not be surprised. 

lksjdflksdjflksdjfljsdlfkjds

[deathsbestgirl]

thinking about this as committed to the psych ward (edit: as intended) and now i want to know what happened here. because tfwid, paper hearts, demons, his implied suicidality at the end of gethsemane. there really was a lot in this season that could have gone that way. what did they want to do???

[lilydalexf]

👽 April Fools' Day X-Files Fic Recs

No joke, here are some very good X-Files fics involving April Fools' Day. Enjoy! April Fool's Day Series by GirlGone OK, someone challenged me to write a story that wasn't an X-File, a serial killer study, a girlfriend story or a mushy Scully-Mulder romance. I thought about it for awhile and this is what I came up with. April Fools? by A. Dean Written in response to Deb's picture challenge from the US magazine. April Revolution by Foxie Meg "The streets of Paris are burning once more." bad ideas in bed by @wtfmulder Drabble; R; fluff, smut; Scully x Reyes; Prompt: “It’s called a prank.” Bloody Hell by @baronessblixen Happy April Fools’ Day! Mulder is just trying to pull a little prank on Scully... it doesn't go well. Fifth Day in Paradise part 1, part 2 by Kate Rickman En route to the scene of an X-File, Mulder and Scully are stranded in the snowy wilderness after their rental car breaks down on a deserted road. Instead of finding their way back to civilization, they stumble into a treacherous plot that could cost them their lives. Through it all, Scully struggles to accept her deepening relationship with Mulder. Folly by @rivkat Starts in early Season Four; after TFWID, Season Four doesn't happen; instead we take a strange journey into conspiracy, experimentation, and speculation. Leave A Message by Amanda Finch and Tim Scott Our favorite agents' terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day or "When Good Pranks Go Bad". (Check your local FOX listings.) The Man Without A Trace by @syntax6 Insanity Outrunning Moirae by Jennifer Oksana and FirePhile Mulder gets his usual vague information from an informant. It leads him across the country into unbelievable government mischief. Meanwhile, as Scully tracks the case from DC, she starts to question everything, including her own identity. Set around season 5. Wrapped in the Wind Series by RocketMan This is a Romance with Mulder and Scully and a little baby girl. Much like The Emilys, if you liked those.