#Terrell Owns

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[vivelegalite]

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

[theblacklewinsky]

Note: getting off these drafts. btw i heard kelvin's next 😮‍💨

DILEMMA. | Aaron Pierre.

Rich! Terry Richmond x Black! Female Reader.

Warnings: MDNI!! this story is 18+ with depictions but not limited to; sexual content ( fingering (fem receiving), penetrat!on (unprotected p in v, don't do that!), water sports, slapping/hitting, degradation), extreme language (cursing, use of b-word and others.) angst, guilt (you're a cheater, bitch) slight daddy kink if you squint. Not proofread. Terry referred to as Terrell.

Summary: in which an engaged woman and a rich man fall into a heavy affair, she's hesitant.

i be so in love with your girlfriend,

and she loves it too, and i love it too

when we rendezvous, we get comfortable.

"yeah, I miss you too," you cooed softly into the phone, your stomach churning at how honest your voice sounded despite your despicable actions.

You probably would've meant it if it were any other day, if you were any other place. Maybe if you were actually in London, like you told your fiancé you'd be before you landed in Toronto, you'd mean it. But every time you came back to this country—the city rather, you never meant it.

Your truths given to another man all at once, that you had no choice but to lie to the man you'd planned to spend the rest of your life with. You looked at the blinging engagement ring on your left hand and grimaced. You halfway listened to the man muttering on the other end of the phone and half of your attention, scoured through your head as you paced the small area of the hotel balcony you were standing on.

"Alright, babe," he hummed on the other line, "just wanted to make sure you landed alright, I love you."

You shuddered at how genuine he sounded. You loved him back too—but even you battled with that sentiment, you had another man making his way up to the hotel room in a country you weren't even supposed to be in.

Maybe if you'd forgiven him for all those mistakes he made over the course of your relationship—maybe if you went to counseling like your parents and friends advised you to you wouldn't be sneaking off on the love of your life.

"I love you too, baby," you feigned a smile, hoping that he could hear how genuine you tried to be, "can I call you back later? Everyone's checking in right now."

He subtly agreed with you on the other end, telling you to call him back later when you settled in before ending the call. Thank god for your job. Had you not been a flight attendant, this shit probably would've been a little harder to pull off.

That was the issue though, is that all this shit was getting harder to pull off. You loved your fiance, sure, but you were in love with Terrell. And that was never supposed to happen.

None of this was supposed to happen.

Six months ago you were supposed to go on a quick girls trip with your homegirls. Nowhere too far, but nowhere too close. So it was decided upon on Toronto. You'd been to Toronto countless times before on layovers and international flights, which is how you knew about how lively the city was. You and a few of your favorite coworkers leaving the hotel on the few nights you spent there, hitting up the clubs and after hour bars.

But you weren't supposed to meet Terry.

There you and your homegirls went, all strutting through Revival as if it wasn't the biggest club in Toronto. You'd been here once before, briefly with a few coworkers, but you still gawked how lovely it was. Looked straight out of a Vegas strip catalogue, and who owned that very busy, popular club? Terrell indeed.

Having drinks being sent to you and your homegirls section. And not just little shots—you had a bottle of Louis XIII sent to your table by a gorgeous bottle girl, you and your homegirls gaped at her. Who the fuck and how the fuck were yall about to pay for a $4,000 bottle of cognac? But she set your fears aside, claiming that it on the house, and was from the boss.

You and your homegirls bristled in happiness after that. Where the fuck was the boss on your first visit here? But nevertheless, you chalked it up to the people of Toronto being courteous to tourists. Up until you met Terrell on the dance floor. Oh, and you didn't fuck around when it came to that, you were two years fresh out of college, your party days were not behind you.

You thought he was simple club goer too, just finding you on the dance floor and making conversation, shouting in each other's ears over the music. He was handsome of course, eyes piercing, tall, full lips, dressed in nothing but designer. It wasn't until he asked you if you and homegirls liked the bottle of LOUIS XIII he sent to your section, that your slightly intoxicated mind put the dots together. You thanked him profusely, and told him how much all of you were enjoying his club.

And although he seemed happy to hear that, he seemed happier to know what exactly only you had planned after this. You'd been out the game so long you'd forgot what flirting looked like, but even you knew this was flirting. You told him about your Fiancé, and that seemed to slightly deter him (not really) but somehow you and your homegirls still managed to take turns hanging out the sunroof of his Mercedes Benz as he ripped through the streets of Toronto after the club closed.

And that was six months ago.

And within those six months you'd visited Toronto more times than you could remember, without coworkers, and without your homegirls, and simply with Terry.

At first it was fun. Harmless fun, you thought. Here you were, a man with far too much money fawning over you. You were far too loyal (at the time) to give him your number, and instead had given him your moderately sized instagram. There he damn near never missed a story, constant heart eyes, constant attention. Attention and flirting your man hadn't given to you since he courted you. That weakened you.

Before you knew it you were on constant first class flights from your city to Toronto, constant sex and low key outings were you and Terry's favorite pastimes when you did come for your brief visits.

But over the next few months you'd became invested. The little gifts had become more meaningful. Once just flowers, and cards and small designer items had become more than just materialistic and more like keepsakes. You cherished them. And although nothing had been concrete in your little affair, you assumed it was all through good fun. Here this man was, older, rich, single and fine—he could pick any single woman in Toronto, but he chose you. Engaged, committed. So maybe he knew he didn't have to commit?

You remembered the way he didn't even flinch when you told him you were engaged to be married, he simply just kept his lingering gaze on you and apologized. The conversation seemingly still seemed to flow, and he still asked you to ride with him afterward. You, not willing to leave your homegirls, and disrespect your engagement (at the time, slut) agreed, under the condition that your homegirls rode too.

Yet, here you were now. Riding him alone. And as bad as you wanted to cut it off, a part of you, bigger than you'd wanted to admit, didn't want to. You liked how free you felt with him, how natural and different things felt. How cherished you felt.

You hadn't even realized that he'd came in, finally, it was his hotel suite after all, paid and reserved for by him. But he was courteous enough to tell the Ritz Carlton front desk employees that his girlfriend would be arriving before him, securing you a keycard of your own.

"How long you got?"

You jumped at the sound of his voice shaking you from your own wandering mind, eyes flickering over to Terry leaning on the frame of the open sliding door. You understood his absence of pleasantries and greetings, y'all were way past that.



He looked so handsome though, per usual. He was always dressed to T's. Even now, black durag adorning his head, a black long sleeved Under Armor compression shirt enhanced his already perfect physique, a pair of matching compression pants under the mismatch Nike basketball shorts he wore. Or maybe he just made everything he wore look good.

"Two days," you said slowly hands gripping the railing of the balcony, averting your attention back out onto the view of downtown Toronto in front of you.

A small bout of silence stretched between the two of you, the air charged with a little bit of everything. Sexual tension, apprehension, passion—like always. But, your hesitance and distance added onto that, and Terry could feel that.

You sighed in contentment against him when he wrapped his broad arms around your waist, pressing your shorter frame into his from behind. His lips finding that sweet spot just behind your ear. "You good?" He mumbled against your skin, persisting kisses there.

You rested your head against his lowered shoulder, his face tucked into the crook of your neck as you hesitantly answered him, giving him a small "yes". To which he knew wasn't true.

And in his mind when you were with him, thinking was void. That's why he handled everything, from the travel, to the hotels, to the outings. He made sure he was your escape. He knew the wifely duties you had back in the states, cooking, cleaning, working—that's the shit your main man put you through. He didn't.

He could tell the night met you, you needed a well deserved break. You seemed tense from the moment he approached you, he literally watched it all melt away during the duration of your conversation, you were already pretty, too pretty. But you looked even prettier when you were relaxed. So, that's what he strived to see.

"What you thinkin' about, mama?" He hummed against your already hot flesh. "You know I don't condone that shit."

You laughed at how serious he sounded, prompting him to chuckle right behind you. You raised your shoulder from his head, craning your head up at his now lifted frame behind yours with furrowed brows, "you don't condone that? Me thinking?"

"You know that," he casually responded, "why you think I handle everything? You do that shit back home with that nigga. Here, I don't need all that." He mumbled before using his opposing hand to tap lightly against your temple, softly kissing your lips.

And that was the problem. Him handling everything. Not wanting you to think and enjoy your time together. That's what made you feel free, that's what had you feeling all types of feelings about him. But you couldn't voice that, just staring back up at him with that dazed stare you gave him every time he kissed you.

You didn't speak until he led you back into the spacious suite, back to the bedroom where the huge king bed was that you belly flopped on when you first arrived. You didn't speak until he started removing the Swarvorski pumps he'd bought you on your last visit, grasping your left ankle and lifting it up to his lips, pressing summer kisses up your calves. You teeth sinker into your bottom lip, watching him as he watched you. Everything else melted away for a moment. Just a moment though.

"Terrell," you huffed as your thoughts overcrowded your mind again, jerking your leg away from his lips, though it still remained secure in his grasp, "this is wrong." If only your fiancé hadn't called and ruined the very sexy mood you were in, you could do this. You would've done this.

Terry recoiled at the reference of his real name with you, and the fact that you were back with this again. He hadn't heard those three words up until the third month, and here you hear three months later singing the same tune again. He sat your leg down gently, getting up from his kneeled position on the floor. "Nah, don't start that," he firmly replied joining you on the bed in one swift motion. Pressing his lips against your non-responsive ones, trailing his kisses over to your cheek, jawline and then finally your neck before you pushed away from him.

"I'm serious," you muttered quietly, folding your arms over your chest, "I can't keep doing this to my fiancé, I'm about to get married in a few months. This shit is wrong, and you know that." You gave him a side glance, chewing anxiously on your bottom lip.

Terry sighed, his eyes on you in a near blank stare. This shit was tuning him out. Where was all this shit coming from again? "You came all the way out here to tell me that? What you sayin'?" He asked you, brows slightly furrowed as he looked over your solemn side profile.

You were silent for a moment, mind racing. You dropped your arms from their folded position, fiddling with your fingers and wringing them out in nervous jitters. "We can't do this...any more." You said slowly. You weren't strong enough to do this three months ago, but maybe now? Terry's brows now no longer furrowed, he looked at you with now a completely blank stare, almost like your words weren't toward him. He nodded slowly as you continued though. "But that doesn't mean that I don't wanna see you anymore—we can still be friends, I can still come see you sometimes." You foolishly said.

"Yeah?" Terry asked eyes trailing over your seated figure, hungrily. His hand didn't hesitate to retreat to your thigh, rubbing the thin material of your dress up your thighs. "We can be friends?"

Your eyes dropped from his gaze, to his wandering hands. Skin feeling hot all over again, you resisted the urge to close your eyes, not trusting yourself to speak you nodded slowly. Silly girl, really.

"Yeah?" He asked you once again, brow raising in mock surprise. "You sound so sure, mama. How can we be friends and I can't even keep my hands off of you?" His hands trailing up, up, till they got to the waistband of your pretty images, his long digits slipping inside.

You huffed as soon as his middle finger started circling your hard clit, eyes fluttering closed as you fought to give him a response in return, "you'll learn," you huffed through his subtle, teasing on your clit.

He laughed in response to your statement, "you know that shit ain't true. Don't even know why you fightin' this shit to be honest," he coyly responded, finger sliding up and down slowly from the hood of your clit down to your entrance before slowly slipping his finger inside of you, feeling how snug you felt around him. He mocked your moan of pleasure, watching as your head fell against his shoulder, a small whimper slipping past your lips.

"It's wrong, can't do this, you 'bout to get married," he repeated your phrases back to him, tone patronizing, "but this pussy so wet for me," he mumbled pressing a kiss to your forehead, resting his lips there before slipping another finger in, eyes darting between your expression and his hand in your panties.

Fingers curling and pushing so deliciously deep, your brows furrowed as you gasped sharply, a soft pretty moan following right after. Terry persisted his soft kisses against your forehead as he continued his assault with his fingers, pace picking up ever so slightly, sounds of your sticky arousal coating his fingers filled the spacious bedroom. You nodded your head at the immense pleasure you felt, soft gasps slipping past your lips with every thrust, "yes, yes, yesss," you chanted to nothing in particular, eyes squeezed shut as your hands instinctively wrapping around his working wrist.

His free hand lazily knocking them away, almost as if you were disturbing him. You whined, feeling his fingers increase in speed, the sound of nothing but your arousal filling your ears as your moans and chanting became silenced behind your quickly approaching orgasm.

Terry took note of your shallow breathing, frozen figure and agape mouth, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead, "there we go," he mumbled against your skin, "cum. Cum for me," he rushed out, fingers slipping out of you to rub in rapid, vigorous circles against your clit. Juices spurting out of you seemingly on command. "Gimme all that shit, stop playin' wimme." He hummed grabbing your slackened jaw, fingers still effortlessly working against you, juices still squirting out of you wildly. Capturing the moans you were finally able to let out right into his mouth.

He didn't stop kissing you, or his lewd actions with his finger until he was sure you had finally rode out your orgasm, trembling and all. He slipped his hand out of your panties, fingers dripping in your essence as you both watched. "Look at that," he mumbled, "came so fuckin' hard." He said before rubbing his fingers against your parted, swollen lips, before slipping them inside your wet mouth. Fingers fucking your wet mouth and throat as he watched, teeth sunken into his bottom lip looking at you with hungry eyes at you tasting yourself.

He slipped his fingers out of your mouth all at once, immediately slapping them against the seat of your nose soaked panties. "Can't make you do that if we just friends."

You hadn't got a chance tip properly take off any of your clothes. He didn't give you a chance. Your dress pushed up above your exposed titties, bra hanging lazily off of one arm, panties pushed to the side. He was so hungry to ravage you, almost like if he'd given you a chance to undress you could change your mind. You were a lost cause as soon as he got you to that bed tbh.

"Stop playin' wimme," he looked up at you, face stern, a stern look in his eyes, hand slapping against your left ass cheek with a hard force, leaving a lasting sting behind you would've cried at hadn't you been so turned on, a needy moan leaving your lips as you slumped against him, "ride that dick right."

You whimpered as he pushed you back, your hands grasping both of his shoulders as you stabilized yourself on the tips of your toes before lifting and slowly lowering yourself onto him, you didn't dare take all of him, what you were taking was just enough, hitting that spot that you liked so much. You kept this up for as long as you could, avoiding his impatient glare.

"Yeah, you playin' with that dick," he mumbled irritancy clear in his tone, both hands gripping either sides of your fleshy hips forcing you down onto him, the stretch coming with that perfect sting, the force of him filling you hurt so good, a guttural moan erupted from you, eyes glazing over as you stared down at him with parted lips, "you know who you with, ride that shit how I like."

The casualty in his tone was abstract to the dirty things he was saying to you, that alone had you leaking all over him. Your whimpers and moans fell into synchronization with the creaking bed, squelching of your pussy and your skin slapping together as you took all of him. Terry's grunts and groans matching yours, his eyes averting back and forth between your pleasurably contorted expressions to where you met at the base of his dick. You felt your self started to slink against his upright figure, arms wrapping around his neck as you buried your face in his neck muffling your audible moans as you continued your rushed pace.

But he had to see you. Had to watch all the pretty faces you made when he made you take him deep like this. Both his hands grasped your torso, lightly pushing you away from him, halting your movements causing him to furrow his brows. "I ain't say stop, keep ridin' that dick," he affirmed, sending another sharp slap to your ass. You whined at the sting, starting to bounce again, ignoring the aching in your calves. Him filling you up once again making your mind a fuzzy mess.

"Just like that," he groaned, looking up at you leaning forward to catch one of your pierced mounds into his mouth, lips latching on softly, the sight making you huff through a moan your own eyes fluttering closed as you continued riding him. He pulled back with a loud pop, eyes watching you intently. "Look at you, fuckin' yourself on my dick like this. But you done with me, yeah?" He asked voice low and uneven as you sunk yourself down to his sticky base where you met, a shallow breath slipping past your parted lips. "You done with me?" He asked a bit louder, his eyes boring into your soft ones.

You could barely answer, mind fuzzy as you fucked your self into an empty oblivion. Eyes closing and then promptly opening, only to roll back. His hand grabbed your jaw roughly, making your brown eyes flutter open, a series of heavy breaths slipping past your lips as you tried to focus on his gaze. "Say the wrong thing and watch I don't let you cum on this dick, you heard me."

"I'm not done," you managed to slur out, voice small and breathy as your hands wrapping around his wrist, for leverage at your now burning knees.

Your quiet response obviously not satisfactory to Terry. "You wanna cum on this dick?" He asked you, still holding onto your slackened jaw.

"Yesss!"

"So let me hear you say that shit. You done with me?" He repeated more firmly.

"Im not done, daddy!" You cried out shaking your head in his grasp vigorously, the tears burning behind your now shut eyes threatening to spill over as you continued trying to fight off your quickly approaching orgasm.

"I know," he cooed, pressing open mouthed kisses all over chest, "I know, baby. You love fuckin' this dick don't you?" He muttered against your skin. Hand dropping from your jaw to join his other in wandering all over your body. You felt so hot, everywhere. Everything felt so good and like too much all at once.

"Yessss!"

"Yeah you do," he hummed through a moan of his own, "keep fuckin' me just like that. Such a nasty lil bitch, keep goin," he groaned.

You opened your tear filled eyes, soft and unfocused as you gazed down at him almost pathetically, "wanna cum daddy. wanna cum so bad," you whimpered.

"m' almost there, baby," he rushed out, eyes focused on the mess you were currently making on him, breathing ragged, "keep goin."

You could tell exactly how close he was when he started thrusting into you, luckily for you anyways, your knees were burning, calves aching, you didn't know how much longer you could've kept up.

"Oh my god," you repeated over and over through a series of heavy breaths and moans, your eyes low, vision blurred as tears ran down your soaked cheeks, "I'm gonna cum! Daddy im gonna—"

"Cum," he breathlessly mumbled, lips parted, "cum on my dick. Let me cum in you, mama."

"Cum in me daddy!" You rushed out, mind completely fuzzy and blank. "I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" You frantically announced, slouching against Terry's broad figure as he continued his sloppy, hard thrusts groaning and grunting as he filled your sensitive pussy with his warm cum. Your ears muffling the sounds of him announcing his orgasm, late of course.

Soft kisses covered your neck and chest as you came down from your orgasm, his strokes now slow and relaxed. But as you came back down you noticed your horrible mistake.

"Cum in me daddy!" Your words echoed in your now stable mind. Canada had to sell plan B's, surely. Right?

Hope you enjoyed <3

tag list: @avoidthings @megamindsecretlair @nickidub718 @keehendrixx @planetblaque @blowmymbackout @b2hotty @partypoison00 @grooveoftiro @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @dxddykenn @motheroffae @kaylaahisthebestest- - @hello-therree @simplyzeeka

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Codependent Characters

Codependency

The state of being mutually reliant (e.g., a relationship between two individuals who are emotionally dependent on one another).

A dysfunctional relationship pattern in which an individual is psychologically dependent on (or controlled by) a person who has a substance use or non-substance-related disorder (e.g., alcohol use disorder, gambling disorder).

Signs of Codependency

Some things found to correlate with codependency include (Marks et al., 2012):

Low self-esteem

Low levels of narcissism

Familial dysfunction

Depression

Anxiety

Stress

Low emotional expressivity

Other signs of codependency (Lancer, 2016; Mental Health America, n.d.):

Having a hard time saying no

Having poor boundaries

Showing emotional reactivity

Feeling compelled to take care of people

Having a need for control, especially over others

Having trouble communicating honestly

Fixating on mistakes

Feeling a need to be liked by everyone

Feeling a need to always be in a relationship

Denying one’s own needs, thoughts, and feelings

Having intimacy issues

Confusing love and pity

Displaying fear of abandonment

Differentiate between a Healthy & a Codependent Relationship

In a healthy relationship, both individuals have a sense of autonomy and independence. Both are able to maintain their own identities while still being connected to their partner.

While in a codependent relationship, one person may sacrifice their own needs and wants in order to please their partner, or they may become overly enmeshed and lose a sense of self.

Additionally, in a codependent relationship, there is often an imbalance of power, with one person being overly controlling or dominant.

Overcoming Codependency

Research has been conducted into group, individual, and family therapy modalities for overcoming codependency, with one systematic review showing a significant reduction in symptoms when long-term post-intervention follow-ups were conducted (Abadi et al., 2015).

The main emphasis of these various treatment modalities is on altering how the codependent person views themselves and their relationships.

This can involve interventions with various (or numerous) goals:

Building Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem is a well-established symptom of codependency (Cermak, 1986; Whitfield, 1991). Building the codependent person’s self-esteem is a main focus of many counseling interventions, with evidence supporting their efficacy (Abadi et al., 2015).

Improving Boundary Setting. Weak or unclear boundaries are another reason codependent people are often willing to compromise their personal needs and happiness to satisfy a partner. Interventions aimed at building self-awareness, self-expression, and communication skills can help an individual’s ability to set and enforce healthy boundaries (Abadi et al., 2015).

Encouraging Self Care. Boundary-setting is just one form of self-care. People with codependent tendencies can also benefit from learning to prioritize their self-care, needs, and happiness before taking care of others (Beattie, 2008).

Originally, “the term ‘codependent’ described persons living with, or in a relationship with an addicted person” (Lampis et al., 2017).

A psychological construct involving an unhealthy relationship that people might share with those closest to them.

It was originally thought to involve families of substance abuse but has since grown to include other types of dysfunctional relationships.

Modern understandings of codependency: “a specific relationship addiction characterized by preoccupation and extreme dependence—emotional, social and sometimes physical—on another person” (Lampis et al., 2017).

The concept of codependency does still apply to families with substance abuse issues but is also used to refer to other situations too.

The main consequence of codependency is that “[c]odependents, busy taking care of others, forget to take care of themselves, resulting in a disturbance of identity development” (Knudson & Terrell, 2012).

To sum up, codependency is a psychological concept that refers to people who feel extreme amounts of dependence on certain loved ones in their lives, and feel responsible for the feelings and actions of those loved ones.

Codependency is not recognized as a distinct personality disorder by the DSM-5.

That said, research shows that while codependency does overlap with other personality disorders, it appears to constitute a distinct psychological construct. The best way to learn about codependency is to review some signs of codependency (examples above).

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[bodyhopper-files]

Young, Hung and Ready to Fuck

“Oh yeah,” Terrell licked his lips hungrily and ran his fingers up and down the abs on his athletic young body. “Lookin’ good!”

The 44-year-old gay man had successfully used a mind-transferrence device to switch bodies with his 22-year-old nephew, Elijah. Standing in front of the mirror, Terrell flexed his muscles happily, admiring the solid sixpack he now called his own. His gaze then dropped to the impressive bulge in his underwear as he turned to the side.

"Damn," he muttered. He had forgotten how good it felt to be young, hung, and always ready to fuck!

Terrell, now Elijah, finally put his phone down and stopped taking pictures of himself, at least for the time being. He felt deeply satisfied knowing that Elijah's life was now his own, and from now on, he would be the one in control of Elijah's body and mind.

[happy-lemon]

Then I'd give my love to you for you to keep for the rest of your life. And happiness would surely be ours, and that would be alright. ~ Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell, 1967

We've probably become one of those irritating couples who are always wrapped up in their own little bubble, but I'm not even sorry. I love this man so fucking much.

[the-poke-nebula]

"Listen, missy, my game fully released 4 years ago and I was 16 at the time, I'm 20 years old now and I know what you meant-"

Besides, he already went to school about biology, Leaf- don't be lewd.

"...Iiiii'm sure I don't even want to know what you're thinking."

[homunculus-argument]

Random worldbuilding from The Unfinished Book:

While there is no unified, clearly defined LGBT community, the people who would by our definition fall under that umbrella are heavily associated with religion. While the general cultural assumption is that everyone is at least a little bit bisexual - the idea that almost everyone hypothetically could encounter a woman so handsome or a man so beautiful that they'd go gay for them is aknowledged well enough to be a common theme in poetry and literature - being queer is more or less considered a way in which various gods "earmark" their own.

This is considered a matter beyond obvious - there are whole creation myths of how the gods who created the world grew annoyed about how all the humans they made were too busy having and raising their own children to properly focus on worshipping their gods or caring for society at large, so the gods saw fit to create people who would rather love their own sex, or not desire marriage or children at all, to ensure there are some whose hands and minds are free to focus more on the gods.

The Empire tolerates any and every religious practice that doesn't threaten the state, break other laws or cause public disturbance, so while there are some major gods whose temples are in almost every city, the pantheon of gods whose existence is aknowledged is essentially infinite. The churches, temple organisations and schools of various major gods, goddesses and ambiguous divine entities and their devoted priests and servants aren't simply there, but play a part in society and politics, as bankers, historians, librarians, curators, doctors and educators. Some run orphanages.

One big, major player in the field is the order of the Moon Goddess. They don't literally worship the moon, the moon is simply the symbol of the Goddess, whose realm is the perfect logic and structure of the universe, which cannot be touched or even properly comprehended by the fallible and imperfect human mind. Their philosophy is that there is no such thing as a question without an answer or a thing without purpose, and anything that appears so is simply beyond human grasp. While there are Moon Priestesses who aren't trans women, they are few and far between, and still less rare than trans women who aren't priestesses.

This is considered an example of how clear and logical the Moon Goddess is - the dysphoria of AMAB people is culturally regarded as them feeling a calling, a call that cannot be mistaken for anything else, a puzzle with one logical answer that they must personally find and embrace, which cannot be disputed by any mortal force, and can only be denied and repressed for so long by the Chosen Subject before they accept it. Becoming a Moon Priestess isn't an "I don't know what to do with my life so I might as well do this" choice in life, it was a choice that was made for you before you were born.

In the book, the protagonist encounters a trans man on his journey and they travel together for a while. After discovering the nature of how Terrel is, the protagonist isn't baffled by the idea that trans men exist at all - mainly he is unfathomably relieved that this small and boyish youth who drinks, gambles, fights, fucks and commits murder like a grown man is actually older than himself and not, like, thirteen - but astonished that Terrel isn't religious, and doesn't consider himself "chosen" by any god. He just is, and as far as he's concerned, the gods have nothing to do with it.

Also it suddenly makes a lot more sense that his name translates to "son of a hyena bitch", something that no woman would name her own child. He named himself, and his mother is a huge bitch.

[bluehome91]

B.T. Express (originally named Brooklyn Transit Express) was an American funk/disco group, that had a number of successful songs during the 1970s.

The group was part of the "Brooklyn sound" of the early 1970s, formed from three players of the group King Davis House Rockers. The House Rockers were a local dance band who had released a couple of obscure singles (1967's "We All Make Mistakes Sometimes" on Verve Records, 1972's "Rum Punch") The three players (guitarist Richard Thompson, tenor sax player Bill Risbrook, and alto sax player Carlos Ward) formed Madison Street Express along with bassist Louis Risbrook (later Muslim-monickered Jamal Rasool), percussionist Dennis Rowe, drummer Terrell Wood, and vocalist Barbara Wood. They along with producer Jeff Lane signed with production company Roadshow Records to record writer Billy Nichols "Do It ('Til You're Satisfied)." The record was shopped around to major labels until it was accepted at Scepter Records. Scepter suggested the group change its name from Madison Street Express, hence the Brooklyn Transit Express. The single was released in August 1974, and reached the top 10. Lane took the group back into the studios at that point to record a second single and pitch a full album to the label. Scepter agreed to the LP and to Roadshow Records having its own label within Scepter Records.

The first two singles were hits, both number 1 R&B releases and both Top 5 pop singles in the US. The album hit number 1 on the R&B album chart and number 5 on the Pop album chart of the US. These recordings were also hits in the spreading disco culture, "Do It" peaking on club playlists before Billboard started a separate disco chart, but the follow-up single sat for five weeks at number 1. They were certified gold releases.

BT Express released an album per year through 1978. With the third album, Leslie Ming was brought in as drummer and keyboardist Michael Jones was added as keyboardist. Jamal, who had converted to the Muslim faith, gave Jones the name Kashif Saleem, which he used after departing the group, in 1979, to pursue producing ("Mighty M Productions" with Morrie Brown and Paul Laurence Jones) and solo recording ventures. That year songwriter Billy Nichols and drummer Leslie Ming also departed the group. In 1976 Scepter records was experiencing business difficulties that soon ended the company, and BT Express was given a distribution deal with Columbia Records, which, though it gave them greater exposure, resulted in less attention being paid to their production, since they had so many acts to concentrate on. The group did not achieve the level of radio or sales success on Columbia that they had on the more nurturing but by-then defunct Scepter. They stayed with Columbia for five years, with Lane producing through 1978, then Nichols producing their fifth album before he departed for solo work, and Morrie Brown producing the sixth LP and several follow-up tracks. The group switched labels to Coast To Coast Records for the 1982 LP, to Earthtone Records for a later 1982 single, and to manager King Davis' own label in 1985.

[marveldcnerdys]

Guardians of the Galaxy: Marvel's Cosmic Revolution

When Marvel Studios released Guardians of the Galaxy in 2014, few could have predicted the cultural phenomenon it would become. Directed by James Gunn, this quirky, space-faring adventure introduced audiences to a ragtag team of misfits, a soundtrack steeped in nostalgic hits, and a bold new chapter for the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Let’s dive into what makes Guardians of the Galaxy a standout franchise and why it has earned a special place in the hearts of fans worldwide.

A Bold Departure from the Familiar

Before Guardians of the Galaxy, the MCU primarily focused on Earth’s mightiest heroes—Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor. These characters, steeped in a blend of mythology and grounded realism, were already well-known in comic book circles. Guardians, however, took a risk by spotlighting lesser-known characters like Star-Lord (Peter Quill), Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and Groot. The film’s premise—a group of outlaws uniting to save the galaxy—was a gamble, especially considering the offbeat tone that director James Gunn brought to the table.

Gunn’s vision was clear: mix irreverent humor with heartfelt moments and wrap it all in a vibrant, cosmic setting. This formula not only resonated with audiences but also expanded the MCU’s storytelling possibilities. The universe felt larger, more colorful, and infinitely more adventurous.

Unlikely Heroes with Depth

At its core, Guardians of the Galaxy is a story about misfits finding their place and purpose. Each member of the team brings a unique backstory and emotional depth:

Peter Quill/Star-Lord (Chris Pratt): A human abducted from Earth as a child, Quill masks his pain with humor and bravado. His Walkman and "Awesome Mix" cassette tapes serve as his last connection to his mother and home planet.

Gamora (Zoe Saldana): An assassin seeking redemption, Gamora grapples with her ties to her adoptive father, Thanos, and her own moral compass.

Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista): Driven by the loss of his family, Drax’s literal interpretation of language provides both comedic relief and a poignant reminder of his pain.

Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper): A genetically modified raccoon with a sharp tongue and a knack for engineering, Rocket’s gruff exterior hides a vulnerable soul.

Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel): A sentient tree-like being with a limited vocabulary, Groot’s simple phrase "I am Groot" conveys a surprising range of emotions, thanks to Diesel’s nuanced delivery.

The dynamic between these characters is what truly elevates the film. Their interactions—a blend of conflict, camaraderie, and genuine affection—make their journey as compelling as the high-stakes battles they face.

A Soundtrack That Defines an Era

One of the most iconic aspects of Guardians of the Galaxy is its soundtrack. The "Awesome Mix Vol. 1," a collection of '70s and '80s pop hits, became a cultural touchstone. Songs like "Hooked on a Feeling" by Blue Swede, "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone, and "Ain’t No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell perfectly complemented the film’s tone.

The music wasn’t just a background feature; it was integral to the story. Peter Quill’s mixtape symbolized his connection to his late mother and Earth, grounding the cosmic adventures in emotional reality. This creative decision made the soundtrack a character in its own right, resonating with audiences and sparking renewed interest in classic hits.

Expanding the Cosmic Universe

Guardians of the Galaxy didn’t just introduce new characters; it expanded the MCU’s cosmic frontier. The film brought to life locations like Knowhere, a mining colony within the severed head of a Celestial, and Xandar, home of the Nova Corps. It also introduced powerful artifacts like the Orb, later revealed to be the Power Stone, one of the six Infinity Stones central to the MCU’s overarching narrative.

Villains like Ronan the Accuser and the looming threat of Thanos added layers to the story, setting the stage for future conflicts. The film’s willingness to explore the weird and wonderful aspects of the Marvel cosmos paved the way for other franchises, such as Thor: Ragnarok and Captain Marvel, to embrace similar themes.

Humor and Heart in Equal Measure

One of the film’s defining traits is its humor. James Gunn’s script is packed with witty dialogue, absurd situations, and hilarious character interactions. Moments like Rocket’s obsession with stealing prosthetics or Drax’s inability to understand metaphors provide levity, even in the face of danger.

However, beneath the humor lies genuine emotional depth. The film explores themes of loss, family, and redemption. Whether it’s Peter’s grief for his mother, Gamora’s struggle to break free from her past, or Rocket’s quest for acceptance, these heartfelt moments ground the story, making it relatable despite its otherworldly setting.

A Franchise That Keeps Giving

The success of the first Guardians of the Galaxy film spawned a thriving franchise. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 delved deeper into the characters’ backstories, particularly Peter’s relationship with his father, Ego (Kurt Russell). The sequel retained the humor and heart of the original while exploring more complex emotional territory.

The team also played a pivotal role in the larger MCU narrative, appearing in Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. These films highlighted the Guardians’ importance in the fight against Thanos, further solidifying their place in Marvel’s legacy.

In 2023, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 served as a bittersweet conclusion to the trilogy. The film explored Rocket’s origins, offered satisfying arcs for each character, and delivered an emotional farewell to this iteration of the team. It was a testament to James Gunn’s ability to balance spectacle with sincerity.

The Legacy of the Guardians

Guardians of the Galaxy is more than just a superhero franchise; it’s a cultural phenomenon. It proved that audiences were ready for stories that blended humor, heart, and high-concept sci-fi. The characters, once obscure figures in Marvel’s roster, are now household names, inspiring countless fans around the world.

The films also underscored the importance of taking creative risks. By embracing the unconventional, Marvel Studios opened new doors for storytelling within the MCU. The success of Guardians has influenced other studios to take chances on less conventional heroes and narratives.

Conclusion

From its unforgettable characters and killer soundtrack to its expansive world-building and emotional resonance, Guardians of the Galaxy has left an indelible mark on the cinematic landscape. It’s a franchise that reminds us of the power of found family, the importance of embracing our flaws, and the joy of dancing like no one’s watching—even in the face of intergalactic peril. As we look to the stars, the Guardians will always be there, a beacon of hope, humor, and heart in the vast cosmos.

[berrysims-lp]

Terrell: I'm going to miss waking up to you every day. Neve: We could fix that, you know? Terrell: How do you mean?

Neve: You could always move to Chestnut with me... Terrell: And live with your parents? Neve, I love you, but I've never truly had a place with my own space. I love my family, but I want to go for independence now. We'll work something else out, I promise. Neve: Yeah, I understand. I'm just going to miss you is all.

Neve didn't understand, likely due to their different upbringings, but that was her own weight. For now, she had to go say goodbye to their new friends she ended up liking so much and still had a few hours to enjoy with him until their separate flights sent them in different ways.

previous / next

[dizziedupthegirl]

. dizzie's xmen dr: rhemlyn; a playlist .

rhemlyn; a nickname, or ship name for eclipse and gambit.

rem = remy, rh & lyn = rhylyn

just like the first playlist post i made, but this time with songs that remind me of me and rem + lyrics! 🫶

ma belle evangeline. princess and the frog soundtrack; *insert trumpet solo here*

🎵

closer. better than ezra; "until he opens up his eyes and the angels all look down. even closer than this life, closer than your faith. closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain. closer than this life, falling through again. giving more than anything that you could hope to win"

🎵

let love in. the goo goo dolls; "you smile hiding behind a God-given face. but I know you're so much more everything they ignore, is all that I need to see. you're the only one I ever believed in. the answer that could never be found. the moment you decided to let love in. now I'm banging on the door of an angel, the end of fear is where we begin the moment we decided to let love in."

🎵

cry to me. solomon burke; "when you're all alone in your lonely room and there's nothing but the smell of her perfume.a-don't you feel like a-cryin'? a-don't you feel like cryin'? a-don't you feel like a-cryin'? a-come on, come on, cry to me, whoa! nothing can be sadder than a glass of wine alone. loneliness, loneliness, such a waste of your time, oh yes you don't ever have to walk alone, you see a-come on, take my hand, and baby, won't you walk with me?"

🎵 here in my arms. leon bridges; "she says nobody wants her but left along. she said nobody needs her girl, you are. well, if you see her tell her there is room for her, in my arms, in my arms. you don't have to go, you should know, I'll be there for you, when you're alone to comfort you. oh, baby please, come where it's warm. in my arms, in my arms"

🎵

at last. etta james: "at last, my love has come along. my lonely days are over and life is like a song. oh, yeah, yeah. at last, the skies above are blue. my heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you."

🎵

my heart. paramore; "sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you. we could sing our own, but what would it be without you. this heart, it beats. beats for only you. this heart, it beats. beats for only you, oooh. this heart, it beats beats for only you, my heart is yours"

🎵

unchained melody. the righteous brothers; "woah, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch. a long, lonely time, and time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. God speed your love to me. lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea. to the open arms of the sea, yeah. lonely rivers sigh "wait for me, wait for me" I'll be coming home, wait for me."

🎵

ain't no mountain high enough. marvin gaye & tammi terrell; "my love is alive (woo) way down in my heart, although we are miles apart. if you ever need a helping hand, i'll be there on the double just as fast as I can. don't you know that there, ain't no mountain high enough. ain't no valley low enough. ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you, babe"

hehe i love remy <3

~

asks are always open! pick from a prompt here, or here, or here! and all my drs can be found here 🥰

[bitchb0ybunny]

Lil Captain Price headcanons..

because this man is living in my head rent-free..

-Price definitely listens to old-ish music, not because he's old, the man is only like 38 (maybe like 42, but still), but because it's what he grew having his parents play. Elvis Presley? Yessir, he listens to Devil In Disguise at least once a day, typically in the morning when he needs a pick-me-up while waiting for his morning tea to steep. It reminds him of his mum. Another one of his favorites, more from his own time but still considered older, is Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell.. I Second That Emotion by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles is also something on his morning playlist, and his workout playlist.

-Price definitely is the type of person to, if given the chance, adore having kids around. Definitely a family man in secret, really wants to settle down with someone and have a couple kids, but gave up on that after becoming a Captain for the 141 for two reasons. One, he's too busy to be there for anyone and too confidential to form bonds (trust me, he's tried when he was younger), so relationships have never worked out and he'd never have time to keep up with his kids if he had any. And two, he's too scared for their safety. If someone found out that Johnathan Price, Captain of Task Force 141, had kids..? It wouldn't go well for anyone. His family could he used to blackmail him or something, and he wasn't about to let that happen. Not over his dead body.

-Price definitely likes to dance, but with his injuries and sore muscles from the military he doesn't get to dance that much anymore.. Doesn't have the time, either. His Mum and Dad probably taught him dances from their days, like swing dances, but also had him enrolled in either a waltzing class or a salsa class when he was in secondary school.. Dancing classes definitely made him popular with the ladies at School dances, which leads me into my next headcanon-

-Price was definitely a ladies man when he was younger, before he got all grumpy because of the military. Had women fawning over him when he was younger, had a few people call him a "Lady stealer" because of how polite and romantic he was with everyone, was a huge flirt in his youth.. He still has it, lots of women nowadays love a rugged man like him, but he doesn't use his flirtin skills anymore. Most he'll give it a smile that flashed his teeth, that were definitely just ever-so-slightly stained from his excessive consumption of black teas, or a bit of a mildly suggestive comment if he thought the person was really pretty.. Or if he really wanted a discount at the shops. In his later years, he discovered that he doesn't really care what gender someone is as long as he thinks they're attractive and nice, he'll flirt with just about anyone if they're cute enough (or if he wants a discount bad enough).

-Price has a nice singing voice, but doesn't sing often. It's soft, definitely like the type of music he listens to, and will often mumble-sing along to songs he particularly likes whenever he hears them. Doesn't matter if he's in a public space or not, it just keeps him occupied and helps him focus a little better.

Because of that,

-Price definitely listens to music while doing paperwork. He'll be sat at his desk, filing a report on a mission, listening to Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell or Please, Mr. Postman by The Marvelettes, or something along those lines. Mumbling along to the lyrics softly, sometimes getting a little carried away and ending up singing along just loud enough for someone outside to hear his voice muffled by the music from his speakers.

"And I need you more than want you.. And I want you for all time, and the Wichita lineman.. is still on the line~"

[sapphicbookclub]

The Stars and the Blackness Between Them by Junauda Petrus

Trinidad. Sixteen-year-old Audre is despondent, having just found out she’s going to be sent to live in America with her father because her strictly religious mother caught her with her secret girlfriend, the pastor’s daughter. Audre’s grandmother Queenie (a former dancer who drives a white convertible Cadillac and who has a few secrets of her own) tries to reassure her granddaughter that she won’t lose her roots, not even in some place called Minneapolis. “America have dey spirits too, believe me,” she tells Audre.

Minneapolis. Sixteen-year-old Mabel is lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out why she feels the way she feels–about her ex Terrell, about her girl Jada and that moment they had in the woods, and about the vague feeling of illness that’s plagued her all summer. Mabel’s reverie is cut short when her father announces that his best friend and his just-arrived-from-Trinidad daughter are coming for dinner.

Mabel quickly falls hard for Audre and is determined to take care of her as she tries to navigate an American high school. But their romance takes a turn when test results reveal exactly why Mabel has been feeling low-key sick all summer and suddenly it’s Audre who is caring for Mabel as she faces a deeply uncertain future.

Genres: contemporary, romance

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Listen to the book on audiobooks.com here!

[fifthgazelle]

songs i would write a fight scene to

think the umbrella academy soundtrack. as in songs from all over the timeline. MUST be danceable. parameters established. 1. happy idiot (tv on the radio)

2. new body rhumba (lcd soundsystem)

3. na na na (my chemical romance)

4. fell in love with a girl (the white stripes)

5. here's the thing (sports team)

6. atom bomb baby (the five stars)

7. uptown girl (billy joel)

8. ain't no mountain high enough (marvin gaye and tammi terrell)

9. texas (jeffrey lewis)

10. get inspired (genesis owusu)

11. bummer time (be your own pet)

12. pedestrian at best (courtney barnett)

13. bitch theme (bratmobile)

14. heads will roll (yeah yeah yeahs)

15. pissed punks (peter & the test tube babies)

[katiajewelbox]

Happy New Year's Eve to all my friends, near and far!

Compared to the last five or so years, 2024 has actually been a fairly happy and progress-filled year in my personal and professional life. I am incredibly grateful for this change in my fortune, but I know that it isn't luck alone - these positive developments were the result of hard work and careful planning during the times that were the most difficult.

Looking back on 2024, the accomplishment I am most proud of is finally submitting my PhD thesis. Although I was originally on track to complete my postgraduate degree at Imperial College by the end of 2020, the pandemic and later my Dad's final illness and passing understandably derailed the plans. Being in an emotionally and financially abusive relationship while having a steep learning curve on family legal and financial matters did not help matters. Despite these challenges and their deep negative impact on my mental health, I was able to return to working on my PhD thesis in 2023 with the kind support of both my supervisor Professor Colin Turnbulll, my wonderful mental health counsellor, and my Mom.

In 2024, I also took significant steps towards starting my own business based on science communication and plant science expertise. With advice from the Imperial College Imperial Enterprise Lab, I hope to develop my social media based science communication hobby into a proper new career direction that makes use of both my scientific experience and my public speaking skills. Sharing ideas with my dear friend Barbara McNaught inspired me to pursue self-publishing a book on plant science for plant lovers in the future. Also, I had the valuable opportunity of presenting two talks on plant biology at Garden Museum via Samia Mirza-Qureshi's support. I'm excited to see where this new career path will take me.

This past year, I have reconnected with an important of myself as an artist and storyteller. Thanks to being part of the Escaflowne and classic adventure fiction fandom, I have rediscovered my love of creating inspiring stories and characters. I have also started drawing again and improving my art skills with the aim to possibly take an art course in the future to learn all the basics in order to elevate my character designs and concepts to a higher level. My friendships with creative and curious people like Louise Parada-Fogerty, Daniel Parada, Jonathan Middleton, Chuka Nwobodo Nancy Yuan Brittany Nichols, Mira Bella, Jess Terrell, and many others helped me find this important part of myself.

I have many dreams and ambitions for 2025, and I intend on keeping myself healthy in body and mind so I can achieve them.

I hope anyone reading this also has milestones and accomplishments they can reflect on today, as well as many things to look forward to in 2025.