#TODAY IS A PRIDE MONTH

[muffinpost]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

YIPPEE!!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[wishing-well-art]

I know Gem doesn't live THAT close to Joel but it's funny to think about

[jediwizard]

HAPPY PRIDE YA'LL

[v7n5]

The triangle is the strongest shape in geometry.

[forsapphics]

Wlw pride pt. 2 ⚢ 🏳️‍🌈🌈 (x)

[aringofsalt]

some highlights from buck's instagram ft. tommy, maddie, and the 118

911 social media series 🚨

[iwantmochisoup]

- june 2024 sketchdump -

[oldfangirl81]

Buck: Hen, can I ask you a LGBTQ question?

Hen: Of course!

Buck: What are the specific fruits to each identity? Because I know the flags but not the fruit.

Hen: What?

Buck: So I overheard my mom tell my dad that she thought I was always a little fruity. And I see references to it for the LGBTQ community. So what is the bisexual fruit? And gay fruit? Lesbian fruit?

Hen: ...

Ravi: Bananas seem like the logical choice for gay fruit.

Buck: I think tomatoes have to represent something right? It's a fruit most people call a vegetable.

Hen: ...I am going to go check if the ambulance needs to be restocked.

[alienlowlife]

Make Your Mark Chapter 2

[sourapplerings]

shoutout to chronically ill girlies today has been hell

happy disability pride month and spoons to you all <3

[willthespy]

Valgrace? But like in the sense that Leo is cupioromanic and they kiss, cuddle and call each other things like ‘babe’ platonically

‘This is my best bro Jason!’ Jason is covered in cartoony kiss marks

Pride Month Day 05 - VALGRACE

did somebody say…queerplatonic valgrace….

Jason is drawn shirtless bc scars obviously… I have a whole Jason resurrection AU in my head i just need y’all to ask me about it. also def note the kiss on one of the scars!!! that was on purpose!!!

To anyone unaware (yes, here we go AGAIN), I take suggestions to draw a queer/trans/aro (lgbtq+) character or ship every day for pride month. Anyone can suggest any ship, character, etc. (headcanons or not.) No proshipping obviously. You can always request multiple times! Don’t hide your pride… (ALSO SEND MORE SOLANGELO REQUESTS…. I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT CMON GUYS… REMEMBER WHO WE ARE….)

[ironskyfinder]

Lesbians are so rarely on birth control.

[crystal-mouse]

Happy Pride Month to *them* specifically

(screencaps via @trekcore)

[thimblings]

"Whatever your flavor...Celebrate with a Nuka Cola!"

lol a self-indulgent fanart i did for fun to celebrate all my co-workers at Bethesda and Zenimax and to wish them all (and now, you all!) a Happy Pride!!

be happy, be safe, and, most of all, be proud! love y'all!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[justlikebart-allen]

Happy pride month! Here's my top five instances of Bart Allen being extremely aroace in no particular order:

Bart/Carol kiss- Impulse '95 #20

Basically every single time Bart and Ayana interact- Impulse '95

The valentines day dance issue- Impulse '95 #59

Bart and Connor's... different approaches to girls- Young Justice '98

Bart says no thanks to noir tropes- Young Justice '98

+Bonus, Cissie knowing that "confessing" her love would be weird enough to shock Bart out of spiraling.