#THIS IS PROBABLY WAY MORE THAN YOU WANTED TO KNOW I AM SO SORRY

[olderthannetfic]

How do we feel about the "Um just so you know the person you reblogged this from is an [insert undesirables category here]"? When it's some random meme or otherwise uncontroversial post, and not some elaborate political opinion post with a bunch of dogwhistles in it.

Because I just got it from a fandom acquaintance/friend and it felt really fucking unsettling.

Aside from the mutuals that I know from fandom and interact with, most of the other content I interact with on Tumblr is more about what it says than about who said it for me. I don't ever pay attention to who wrote what or which other Tumblr users they had beef with or whatever, I just read the post itself and decide if I like what it says or not. If someone posts something I REALLY dislike, I block them and move on, more in the hopes of seeing less of that sort of thing than with the intention of somehow eliminating that specific person. I never pay attention to who my mutuals are reblogging from and if I note that one of them reblogged something featuring a poster who's famously unhinged, I just assume they don't know and move on because I know my mutuals are reasonable people generally speaking. I like the anonymity of Tumblr and the focus on the content of the posts and not on specific people. It's why I hang out here and not on one of the platforms that are all about influencers and the like.

So today I was going through the blogs of a couple of people I don't follow to find a specific post and in the process I saw a fairly uncontroversial post I liked, reblogged it, and moved on. Then less than an hour later I was met with a wall of text in my DMs accusing that poster of having questionable political opinions and describing the beef they had with another person where they threatened them etc. etc.

TBH I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the level of scrutiny implied in paying attention to who I reblog random shit from, as well as the level of presumption in coming to my DMs and lecture me about it. I know nothing about the blogger they were talking about, have never interacted with him, and will probably never even have the opportunity or the desire to interact with him. He wasn't even the AUTHOR of the post, it was just on his profile. It makes me want to never post anything ever again.

I just... don't see the point of this sort of behaviour in general? "You shouldn't be giving [bad people] a platform" - look, I genuinely don't think that reblogging a pretty landscape from someone who turns out to be a TERF or whatever is platforming those beliefs in any way. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how my behaviour leads to any material harm to anyone. Even if I follow the person, the moment they start talking about TERF-y shit I'm gonna unfollow and/or block. The probability of me throwing all my well-developed political opinions down the drain and getting radicalized through the slippery slope of reblogging "CATS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY SWAT AT THINGS" from someone with a dogshit take about Palestine is literally zero. If it's the content of the post that's wrong, just explain why to me, or point out the dogwhistles or whatever. I'm open to being wrong in my opinions. I'm not open to my online friends acting like the fucking Stasi.

Maybe I'm just too old for these newfangled social politics but it just feels like either pointless catty high school drama or an attempt at social control that I can't help but interpret in a hostile manner. Even if it's followed by - as it was in my case - something along the lines of "obviously I'm not accusing YOU of anything!! I'm sorry it came off that way!!" when I pushed back against it. It feels like 1950s conservative housewives making sure you're not even greeting any of the town Undesirables at the grocery store, because you wouldn't want to be Morally Tainted by saying Hello to a divorcee!

It's kind of similar to the whole issue about people still writing HP fic. Am I interested in HP fic? TBH not at all - the author had soured it for me with her behaviour even before it was obvious how much she hated trans people. Do I think the people doing it are somehow harming anyone or putting money in JKR's pocket? I honestly can't see how, and so far none of the people adamantly against it have managed to explain it to me in a satisfying way, so I'm just gonna let it slide off me as another random internet hobby I don't get or care about.

--

My reaction is "Do you understand how Tumblr works? Do you?"

We have enough trouble with people reblogging barely-hidden anti-kink or homophobic shit. Who has time for cootie-based problems?

[burningcheese-merchant]

When Burning Spice was introduced a lot of people made comparison with Capsaicin, and even thought they were related. You have any thoughts on that?

I do, and you're all probably going to be very disappointed lol

Not only do I NOT vibe with the idea that they're related, I'm actually really annoyed that it's as popular as it is lol. It doesn't even make sense. Burning Spice was in prison for thousands of years; when, where and how did he have a kid? At what point in time did this occur? Capsaicin is a young man. A regular mortal, outside of his "Spice Overlord" thing. I ask you all again: when? Where? How? WHY? Has anyone ever actually thought this through?

"ThEy LoOk SiMiLaR" okay, and? So fucking what? Neither of them own the concept of "long hair" or "muscles" or "sharp teeth". Pitaya has those too, and he has an arguably more substantial connection to Capsaicin because they're actually from the same fucking area. Happenstance. Lots of characters in this game have similar attributes, that doesn't necessarily mean anything

"ThEy'Re BoTh SpIcY" Refer to point A. Do you all think all the nut-based cookies are related, too? That's the logic you might as well be operating on. Correlation is not causation

"Blah blah both jail" you know how many characters in this whack-ass phone game count as felons, bro? How many of them SHOULD count as felons lol? The Cookie Run universe might as well be one giant Alcatraz with all the shit these little affronts to God get up to every day, I ain't making them all each other's relatives because of it

They're the wrong ages for them to be family. Burning Spice was serving a life sentence since long before Capsaicin was even thought of, he literally got out after the guy was already a grown ass man. They're not even from the same fucking CONTINENT! Capsaicin has probably never even HEARD of Beast-Yeast! Even that little comic the CRK Twitter account posted makes fun of all this shit!!! The Wild Spices mistake Cap for Spice from behind, and then get confused when he turns around because THEY VERY CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS AND HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE! Wouldn't an army know if their general had a son, even if it was only mentioned in passing? Wouldn't THIS army have a vested interest in having their general's son around if he existed, and stop at nothing to bring him home should he vanish, to gain favor with Spice and because of how powerful Capsaicin is and how useful he could be to them?

I wouldn't be so bent out of shape about all this if it wasn't LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!! I cannot enjoy any content of Burning Spice OR Capsaicin without having to endure a fucking barrage of "hurr durr father and son" posts!!! I just want to ogle my hot, sexy, deliciously evil spice man BY HIM-FUCKING-SELF in peace, I never asked to have to hear the exact fucking same "hi son I came back with the milk" joke over and over and over again

I know I sound like a massive dick right now and I'm truly sorry. You are more than welcome to think of these two as related in some way if you wish. I am not your mother, nor your leader, nor your god, I'm just some cringe loser on the internet. Enjoy this game and its characters in whatever way you choose. I even actually like a good bit of the father/son art, a lot of it is cute and funny. I'm able and willing to say that with complete sincerity.

I just wish I didn't have to feel like it's being forced on me. That is one of the biggest issues I have with this fandom: how oppressive it often feels. You MUST ship this particular pairing, you MUST headcanon these characters as family, you MUST take this one-off joke that was clearly just a goddamn joke and preach it 24/7/365 like it's the gospel truth that Devsis themselves wrote on stone tablets and delivered from the top of Mount Sinai. And then when someone doesn't want to do that, everyone else descends upon them like a plague of fucking locusts. I actually saw a Dad Spice + Son Cap post on here with the person who made it saying something like "ok since everyone agrees that these two are family [...]" and I just got so fucking irritated. No, actually, not everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees on a lot of the fanon that's shoved down the entire community's throats on a regular basis. PLEASE stop acting like they do. I still remember when people would get flat-out harassed for not acting like Herb is Sea Fairy's son (old ass drama lol).

Say what you will about me, I'm just one person and you can block me or whatever dumb tags I use for my dumb shit. There is NOWHERE I can go to avoid this. Twitter? Plagued. Tumblr? Plagued. Even fucking reddit is on this nonsense (only in my personal opinion). But that's what I get for acknowledging Reddit in any capacity lol

I shall once again sincerely apologize for my harsh tone here, I am not attacking you personally or anyone who headcanons these two as relatives. I am just generally, profoundly frustrated and I need to get it out. I appreciate you taking the time to ask me an honest question, I hope you can forgive me for my painfully honest answer

[rekino2114]

The fact that Rose would remeber the first kiss got me thinking. What would the first kiss with the drdt girls be like?

First kiss with the drdt girls

A/n:sorry if I posted this later than my usual posting hour but I had to study for an exam

Teruko tawaki

"Ugh, really?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we have only one slice of cake left"

"No I- *sighs* it's fine, I should have known. Just get me the one"

Teruko dejectedly took the cake and paid. She went back to your table where you were smiling at her, making her feel even more guilty

"Here you are. Why did you take so long?"

She sat down and put the slice on your side of the table

"Yeah, so the line suddenly got way longer when i arrived, and they only had 1 slice left..... which wasn't even the type of cake you wanted......I'm really sorry"

"It's not your fault"

"It probably is though, you know,with my luck"

"Yeah, maybe it's your luck's fault, but it's not yours. The difference is important"

"......thanks"

"It's nothing, now let's eat"

"Hm? But there's only one slice"

"But there are two forks"

"But isn't the cake too small for two people?"

"Then that just means we'll have to eat something else later. Come on, I don't wanna see you all sad because you don't get to eat, what kind of partner would I be to not share?"

Teruko smiled and took the fork. She thanked you and started eating small bits of the cake. when you were finished, she looked up at you while you were wiping your mouth. She reached for her napkin to do the same but couldn't find it anywhere

"Eh? What the-?"

"What's wrong, teru?"

"Nothing, I just can't find my towel, it's not even on the ground, what the heck?"

"I guess you do have some cake on your lips"

"Yeah and I can't wipe it now"

"Well I might have a solution to that"

"Hm?"

Teruko was surprised to see that you got a lot closer to her and quickly understood what you wanted to do, she blushed but nodded giving you permission.

You kissed her lips softly, and when you saw that she was enjoying it, you put more force into it, licking all the bits of frosting away

"Did you like that? Sorry if it was sudden but-"

"No, no its fine.....that was my first kiss, it was amazing"

"Yeah, same goes for me"

Min jeung

"Did you get that y/n?

"S-sure"

"OK, so explain it"

"..........."

"*sighs* you didn't get any of that did you?"

"........no"

"I told you I'm not good at tutoring, I'm used to studying by myself"

"Yeah, but I wanted to spend some time with you, and studying together seemed cute"

"It is.....just not efficient"

"Hehe, yeah, soooo can we take a break?"

"We started like 15 minutes ago"

"Come on, the test is in like 3 days we have a lot of time"

".......the test is tomorrow"

".......what?"

"You didn't know that? I thought that was the whole reason why you asked me to study with you"

"To be honest I just knew there was a test"

"*sighs*"

"........can we still take a break?"

"No"

"Pretty please?"

"No"

"But I'm so tired"

"It's been only 15 minutes"

"So there's nothing I can do to change your mind"

"No"

"Not even.......this"

Before min could even process what you said, you got close to her and kissed her. She went beet red, and when you pulled back, she stood frozen for a second

"Y-you, t-that was......w-why?"

"Sorry....was that too much?"

"N-no it's just.......it was my first kiss...like ever"

"Did you like it?"

"Y-yeah"

"Great"

You smiled and approached her again. You two kissed for the second time, and this time, min kissed back passionately. You moved her hair from her face to reveal her beautiful pink eyes staring back at you

"Your eyes are beautiful"

"Thanks, yours are too"

Arei nageishi

"Heck yeah! 4th strike for meeeee!"

Arei turned to look at you giving you a victory sign while you did a thumbs up while drinking the soda you got

"Soooo, am I awesome or what?"

She decided to take a break and sat at the table you got

"Definitely, you got the highest score"

"I mean, what else did you expect? I am the best"

"I guess that's true"

The bowler giggled, and she took a sip of her own drink.......before almost spitting it out at your next words

"Oh hey, someone else got the highest score"

"Eh? Who-......."

"Everything alright arei?"

"......that bitch"

"What?"

"That's g/n she's always been kind of a rival in bowling to me, she's still salty Hope's peak chose me over her, I mean it's not my fault that they recognize actual talent"

The very unpleasant looking girl that arei pointed towards approached your table with a forced smile and started to glare at arei

"Hello,arei, fancy seeing you here"

"Oh my god, hiiiii, how long has it been.... eternally in second place?"

"Strong words from a girl who had to ruin her sisters lives cause she couldn't handle a bit of negativity"

You saw arei's fake smile drop and a mix of rage and confusion appear on her face

"W-what? How do you-"

"I have my sources, anyway I'm not here for you, I'm here for them"

The girl pointed at you while staring with a flirty gaze, you knew where this was going and you hated it

"So come here often?~"

"Yes I do, to cheer up my girlfriend"

"Oh! So you're a thing! How did a hottie like you end up with such a bitch?"

"A BITCH? look who's talking, you're trying to steal my partner"

"Please. We both know you don't actually love them, I mean, can you even feel love when you're such a horrible piece of shit?

"I-i'll show you how much I love them"

Arei then suddenly took your collar and pulled you near her kissing you

"Happy now? I suggest you get your flat ass outside right now before I start throwing punches at that abstract painting you call a face"

The girl stormed away, and arei laughed a bit at her before looking at you

"You okay? Sorry for her"

"No, it's fine, it's just......that's not how I expected our first kiss to go"

".........fuck that was our first kiss?!"

"Yeah"

"S-sorry do you wanna redo it or something? I just got worried and-"

"No It's fine, you're actually a great kisser"

"R-really? i mean Y-yeah, of course i am"

Hu jing

After hu finished her performance, a roar of applause came from the audience, but the loudest and most passionate claps came from you, hu recognized that, and after bowing, she smiled brightly at you

When the concert was over and everyone went out, you approached your girlfriend and held her hands

"That was amazing hu, I can definitely see why you're the ultimate zither player"

"Hehe, you exaggerate dear, I simply did what I love"

"But you're so skilled, to be honest I didn't fully know even what a zither was before I started dating you, and now it's one of my favorite instruments"

Hu blushed at your praise and she felt her heart beating faster with every second she was near you

"Can I come to everyone of your concerts? I just really wanna support you"

"Y-you'd really like that?"

"Of course I love you, like really really love you and I want to support everything you like, especially your ultimate"

"I just don't know what to say, darling. I'd love that, I'm love you too so much"

You got overwhelmed by your emotions and kissed the zither player on her lips, she blushed for a moment but quickly melted into it

"O-oh, sorry, you just looked so beautiful, and It just felt right to do that"

"No, it's completely fine. I loved it. For a first kiss, it was most wonderful"

"Then can I expect more?"

"Of course, definitely"

J rosales

"FUCK OFF YOU CREEP!"

J suddenly rushed in your dorm and slammed the door, she took a moment to breathe before looking at you

"It's Arturo again isn't it?"

"Yeah, that asshole thinks he can just follow me around, I told him I'm already taken, and that changed nothing, I think it even got worse"

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"No, it's not your fault. He's just a piece of shit"

"Yeah, I'll just talk to him"

"You sure?"

"Yeah obviously, I'd just be a bad partner if I didn't"

You opened the door and found the plastic surgeon still standing there

"Oh Julia you-....what are you doing here?"

"First of all, her name is j, and second, this is my dorm you idiot"

"Oh yes, you're Julia's "lover" aren't you? I still don't understand how she could fall for someone so ugly"

"Says the guy who has to wear a mask to hide how ugly he is"

"How dare you-"

"Listen, I don't wanna deal with you anymore, so I'll let you go, but next time you harass J like that, I'll go tell Xander, and I don't think he'd appreciate you treating his friend's girlfriend like that"

"Ugh such an ugly-"

"Yeah, Yeah I get it, now fuck off!"

You closed the door (kinda hoping to hurt him), and you heard as he walked away, you closed your eyes and sighed

"Geez what a loser, hopefully that will get him to stop"

When you opened your eyes, you were very surprised to see a blushing j standing mere inches in front of your face, and before you could say anything, she crashed your lips into yours. When she pulled back, she was blushing even more and pulled her hood over her face

"C-Consider that a thank you for what you just did.....o-or something.....God this is so dumb"

"That was great"

"U-uh? Really?"

"Yeah, it was amazing. You're actually a really good kisser"

"T-thanks I guess, you were a good kisser too"

Veronika grebenshchikova

"Is everything OK darling?"

"Y-yeah totally fine don't worry"

"Are you sure? I can turn off the movie if you'd like, I know this is our first movie night together and I just want you to be comfortable"

"No I'm ok"

"If you say so"

You were, in fact, not ok. You were never a fan of horror movies, but you didn't want to appear weak or boring to your new girlfriend so you didn't tell her anything, though that seemed to be useless as she still understood what you were going trough

When a particular scary scene came on screen, you couldn't take it anymore and hid in the covers, Veronika noticed this and followed you

"Shhh darling it's ok"

She hugged you and you calmed down

"I'm sorry vero, I just-"

She quickly silenced you by kissing your lips. You found it calming and comfortable, so you kissed back, when she pulled back you saw her staring back at you with a smile

"Did that help?"

"Definitely, that felt so great"

"Well I'm glad, listen, it's fine if you're not a horror fan, I don't mind watching another movie"

"No I'm ok, as long as you continue kissing me like that then I think I can handle the movies"

She giggled and kissed you again

"I'm so happy then you'll get alllll the kisses you could ever ask for my darling"

Rose lacroix

*knock, knock*

"Hey Rose, wake up, class already started"

You waited a second and got no response. You got slightly worried, so you entered since the door to her dorm was opened. When you entered, you found a huge blanket covering the bed and when you lifted it up, you saw your girlfriend sleeping soundly

"Rose,......hey rose, wake up"

You nudged her slightly, but she still remained asleep. You tried to do this some more times, but that still had no results

"Geez, she wasn't kidding when she said she slept 15 hours a day, but I guess working on all those paintings must be tiring"

You tried a few more methods to make noise, but nothing worked. You considered splashing water at her but quickly dismissed the idea when you thought about how angry she would be at you

"Rose, seriously, wake up.......my God, you're like sleeping beauty........wait a second"

You blushed at your own idea but dismissed that, too. If she was gonna be angry at you for splashing water, you couldn't even imagine what would happen if you kissed her without consent

"*sighs* I guess I'll tell the teacher you're sick or something"

You tried to get up from her bed but was stopped by someone kissing your lips, you turned to see that rose was awake and smiling at you

"W-what, why did you-"

"You weren't gonna do it, so I thought I should"

"You were faking it?"

"No, I only woke up 5 minutes ago, but hearing you talk about sleeping beauty made me wonder if you were gonna kiss me"

"You wanted me to kiss you?"

"Not really, I'm glad you considered my feelings, so I thought you deserved an actual kiss.......that was my first kiss, how was it?"

"Amazing"

"Eh, thanks I loved it too"

"Let's go to class now"

"Yeah"

[honeyjars-sims]

3.35 Sticky Situation

It’s the second day of our camping trip and I’m realizing that even when she’s on vacation, Lucy is still in work mode. With the spotty cell service on the mountain, she’s not able to do any actual work so she’s channeling all of her energy into making sure things run smoothly on the trip.

She was up before the rest of us this morning cleaning up our mess from the night before and now that everyone’s awake, she’s been looking for things to do. “We should gather more firewood,” she says.

“We have all day to do that,” I tell her. “Just relax. This is a vacation, remember?”

“I know, but I can’t relax when there are things that need to be done. I always get like this when I’m…on vacation.” I have a feeling there’s more going on but before I can ask her about it, Paul jumps in.

“Well, if you can’t relax until things are done, then at least let someone else do it,” he insists. He turns to me. “John and I can gather up some firewood while you get in some relaxation.”

I start to protest the suggestion–I always hate it when I get roped into hard labor just because I’m a guy–but Lucy looks so relieved that I decide to let it go. “Yeah, we’ll take care of it,” I say instead, and Paul and I head off into the woods.

We barely make it a few feet before Paul starts droning on about how you want to make sure you get the right type of wood, and you have to make sure the pieces you pick aren’t too wet, and blah, blah, blah. “Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “If I have to do this, then I’m gonna do it my way.”

“Oh? What’s your way? If you have any insights, I’m happy to hear them.”

“It’s pretty simple. Is this wood? If yes, then I pick it up.”

“Hmm, ok,” he says, sounding uncertain. “I suppose we’ll see how that goes tonight.” 

“I guess we will.”

“You’re kind of competitive aren’t you?” he asks.

I feel my face growing hot, remembering how I tried–and failed–to show him up on our last hiking trip. “Uh, not really,” I mutter.

“Oh, so, it’s just with me then?” His words would sound confrontational if not for the softness of his tone. He seems more curious than argumentative.

“Look, I’m sorry about all of that. I was just feeling a little insecure with all of the attention you were getting from the girls. I’m trying to be more mature about it, though.”

“Ahh, the girls,” he replies. “That’s what that was about. I don’t see what you’re so insecure about, though.”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to be a doctor, and you’re more athletic than I am.” Spelling out my insecurities isn’t exactly making me feel better about them. 

Paul shrugs. “I don’t even start med school until the fall,” he counters. “Besides, you had everyone laughing and that’s something I’ve never been good at. In fact, I’m famous in my family for telling the worst jokes.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, excited for an opportunity to pass on some advice about something I’m good at. “In my opinion, the main thing people get wrong about comedy is that they try too hard to be funny instead of just finding opportunities naturally.”

“You think so? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.”

“It could be. Go ahead, just say what comes to mind without thinking too much about whether or not it’s funny.”

“Uh, ok, what’s brown and sticky?” he asks.

“I don’t know, what is it?”

“A stick!”

This is not a good joke. Like objectively it’s not, but he has this huge grin on his face like he’s standing on stage at a sold out comedy show, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Not in a mean way; he’s so pleased with himself that it’s kind of endearing. “It was good?” he asks eagerly.

“Well…” I choose my words carefully. “Maybe the joke wasn’t the best, but I think you have the right attitude. I’m sure if you start looking out for the humor in different situations then it’ll start coming naturally to you.”

“Ok, well, thanks for the feedback.”

“No problem. We should probably start gathering up that wood. What did you say we should look for again?”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[suzukiblu]

Day seven of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems in someone who was in that situation trying to flirt with someone actually age-appropriate. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“. . . ‘fast’,” Kon echoes awkwardly, glancing down at their hands. Tim tries not to wince. He definitely sounds like an idiot or a prude or–whatever. Just incredibly, incredibly uncool. 

He has actually never felt less like a prude since getting to know Kon well enough to notice things like how good the bastard looks soaked in Kool-Aid, but now is just . . . really not the time for thoughts like those, yeah. 

“I, uh–I’ve never actually, um . . . with anyone, actually. Guy or not,” Tim half-admits, though it feels stupid that being a virgin is something to admit instead of just a statement of fact. Normally it wouldn’t be, is the thing, but he just really doesn’t want Kon to think he sounds lame or antisocial or . . . whatever, exactly. “I actually would literally not even know how to, uh . . . give you ‘tips’ or anything. Unless I had like, the prep time to do some research, I mean. It’s just, uh–I don't date much, to be honest. Or, uh. Pretty much at all? Like, you're definitely more experienced than I am either, uh, either way, like that's just–I don't do much of this stuff. Any of it. I have in fact gone out with exactly two girls in my life and they both were definitely, um–also the ones who were making the moves and all.” 

It's not that he never want to make a move, just usually he's too busy being way too in his own head about it or something else entirely or–

God, he is rambling so much, Tim realizes, repressing a cringe when he realizes how blankly Kon’s currently staring at him. Because it is very, very blankly, that Kon is staring at him. 

Crap. 

“Uh,” Tim says with a grimace. “Sorry. Um. If you were expecting something . . . faster, I mean.” 

Kon should definitely not have anything that fast if he’s thinking of himself as a product, Tim’s basically positive, but also that’s actually not any of his damn business, but also he definitely needs to look into Kon’s dating history just to add a few names to his list for when he finally goes supervillain and just maybe look into–

. . . Kon is still just staring blankly at him. 

Tim fails to repress the cringe this time. 

“Uh,” he attempts again. “Kon? Are you . . .?” 

Kon turns literally crimson and ducks his head, but also doesn’t actually stop staring at him. 

. . . alright then, Tim thinks. 

“I do like you. I like you a lot. Like–I like-like you a lot, if I have somehow managed to not be embarrassingly obvious about that at this point,” he tries, borderline flailing in the conversation now since Kon is apparently no longer willing to use his words and he was already not doing that great with it when Kon was using his words, and he can’t even talk with his hands or anything because he’s holding Kon’s hands like an actual grade schooler, except probably no one ever has held Kon’s hands like–no, no, he is not far enough down the supervillain pipeline to be able to finish that thought process and deal with the psychological consequences of having to not burn down the system about it, he really cannot do that at any point in the next ten to fifteen years whatsoever. “This isn't–I'm just–it's not me not wanting to . . . take some pictures, eventually. Just . . . maybe we could wait a bit on it. Stick with the streets and buildings for a little while longer, maybe?” 

He tries for a smile and also tries not to cringe again over how weak an attempt it feels like, and then has the uneasy and uncomfortable thought that actually doing anything like that isn’t even really–is that ethical, even? Even the idea of doing something like that? Kon doesn’t really know Robin all that well, no, but they’re on the same team and the same side, and they’re teammates and at least arguably friends, and Kon also doesn’t know he is Robin, and– 

“Um,” Kon says, his hands tightening just a bit around Tim’s and his face still blazingly and borderline inhumanly red as his head ducks a little lower and his mouth curves into what is, in fact, the most unfairly soft smile that Tim has ever seen on the bastard’s face. “We could do that, yeah.” 

Tim was thinking about something, probably? Which hopefully wasn’t something important, considering just how ruthlessly Kon just fried his brain out of his head. Which is not even reasonable or logical, because all Kon did was . . . well, imply he was fine taking things at Tim’s pace and not actually going to get immediately bored if he didn’t put out and was actually interested in just being together, and also did it while smiling at him like that. 

Alright, fine, Tim knows exactly why his stupid brain got itself fried. He’s still apparently embarrassingly easy, though. 

Well, that’s not exactly new information in regards to Kon anyway. 

[msbunnat]

sorry if you’ve been asked this before but how do you interpret Zeus in Greek mythology?

I know you like to keep the details of your comic a secret but can you at least elaborate on your perspective about his canon?

Like me personally, I see Zeus as kind of a force of nature, probably cuz he kind of is. He’s the man made character created in order to further understand that which man did not know, like all the gods. And also like the other gods his actions are hard to rationalize cuz they’re so dam inconsistent. One moment he’s treating women as disposable then the next he’s giving Hestia the respect and permission to never marry without any question.

sorry for the Yap sesh lol, love ur art and ur comic btw!

I think this is the first time someone has asked this and I am very happy to answer!

*THIS IS TO BIG SORRY!! ;-;

First, I need to make it clear that the Zeus of ancient myths and my Zeus will be different, even though its based on mythology. I am just contributing with my two cents to this range of fanfics that have existed since ancient times.

I truly believe that all the myths we love and explore are basically fanfics based on a religion and that people in the past used them to spread knowledge, comedies, tragedies and just to have fun while keeping the image of their gods alive. That is why the gods are so inconsistent in mythology, since we have many variations even of a single myth and it will always depend on who is telling the story (I wish it were easier to make fics like this about my religion, but I am afraid of the reaction of extremists).

I interpret Zeus in mythology like all the other gods, I no longer make a distinction based on the prejudice of him being a compulsive pervert, he has many sides. As all gods re natural forces, natural as in animal and plants, but also human feelings and urges.

Zeus has some basic pillars that myths tend to respect: He is THE father, he is the fairest one, he is the executioner, he is seductive, he is good-humored (sometimes he makes some bad jokes kkkkkk), he defends natural balance more than anything and he respects the will of others (this seems ironic, but calm down!!). After reading more myths about him and different interpretations, I understood that this modern view of him as a player is completely distorted and ignores all the other myths he participates (I understand that it became his joke, but… some people take it to seriously). So I started to form my own view of his myths.

Most of his adulteries are consensual and when they are not, they remain in that confusing area of ​​what was once consensual, since it is always mentioned that he seduces (for example, how he turned into an bull or a shower of gold because he knew that his potential partners really liked those things - and I find it hilarious that it seems like he didn't even intend to get Danae pregnant kkkkkk, but it ended up happening). This doesn't mean we can't understand that some of these seductions are abusive (like taking the form of a husband to have a night with Persephone or Alcmena), but saying that he discarded them doesn't seem right either. He often protected his lovers and bastards in the most intelligent way possible and sometimes he just walked away too for the good of others. And in a way, as the father and lord of the sky, he is always watching. I also hate how we take away any woman agency when it comes to Zeus, like, there re myths that they wanted a casual nigth with a god... stop ignoring that!! (the bad thing is that Zeus is also a pilar for fertility ;w; so if he sleep with someone with a uterus... they will get pregnant).

Going to the non-literal side, we have to remember that Zeus is a god and his adultery should not be seen as the same as that of mortal men. He cant acuatlly be with a mortal on the mortal realm and be a husband there... I also want to say: Hera wasn't that jealousy (I think she herself knew that Zeus needed to spread his blood/goodness in the world - yes, a strong interpretation is that Zeus' affairs are a metaphor for spreading goodness). On the contrary, she respected the bastards who faced their challenges and thus deserved to be close to them on Olympus. Hera tested the heroes for two reasons: So they understood that she and Zeus were in charge (so that no one would think they could usurp the throne, and she protected both her and Zeus, as well as Zeus do his best to also prevent the bastards to die and have some help - both Zeus and Hera do all this from a distance, they want to be fair with eachother) and to see if they deserved to be with the immortals.

It seems ironic today, but Zeus respected everyone's will, but it was in the Greek terms (more of in atenians terms, bc we don't have much of the other states). He accepted the decisions of Hestia, Athena, Artemis… I don't remember seeing him laying a finger on them or wanting them to get married. On the other hand, we have versions of him as father of Persephone, 'selling' her (but the myth was about an arranged marriage and I think it makes sense that it's Zeus, since the focus ends up being Demeter's suffering and this encompasses more complex feelings when losing her daughter because her 'husband' gave her away, while he is still respected and loved socially).

Now the bad side of Zeus in how fair he is. He punishes Apollo in some situations, even though I understand why he needed to do it… But he is not shallow enough to be evil for the sake of evil… It left a impression on me when he killed Asclepius and hurt Apollo (obviously), it is sad and I doubt he enjoyed killing his grandson, but if he didn't do it… the balance of the cycle of death would collapse and he is the one who sustains this cycle with the greatest respect. In fact, my theory is that he doesn't face Nyx, not because he fears her, but because no matter who wins the fight, the world will end (if Nyx dies, the night and everything that comes from the night, for the Greeks like sleep and death, will be disturbed / if Zeus dies the throne will be empty and no other god would do what he does, maybe Athena, but the world was too sexist back then to let her become sovereign and I also think she would be colder than Zeus when making decisions and would have no descendants…). But sometimes he just wanted to prank and have fun! So like, no straight answer here.

In the case of Ganymede, I believe that his myth is more one of those in which Zeus is merely a narrative tool, more than an active role. People just started shipping them and that's when the pederasty boom happened, but before that Ganymede was just a boy who was handsome and got a 'dream job' (poor thing…).

[bronx-bomber87]

Hi!! I just spent the last hour scrolling through your page and I adore everything you have to say about tim and lucy…

So I was curious (because I’m a month into the fandom and I don’t really know anyone yet) what your thoughts, predictions, expectations for season 7 would be?

Sorry if you’ve posted something similar before, please point me in the right direction if you have :)

- Loren

Hi! @moderatelydelusional Nice to meet you, Loren. Thank you for the lovely ask :) Making me all red with your nice comment. So glad you liked everything I've had to say about our lovely ship. Appreciate it so much. Before I answer I want to say welcome to the fandom! We are glad to have you here. 😊 There are so many good blogs on tumblr for them. Glad you chose me as one of them. I am honored. ❤️ I haven't really tackled s7 at all so this is a good ask. Excited to answer it. I'm a detailed woman. So imma break your question down into sections if that's alright. I legit don't know how to be brief about this show or them haha Also will do it with gifs cause that's my thing. Here is my detailed answer below. Hope you enjoy it.

Thoughts on S7- Well we've had ZERO and I mean ZERO spoilers or indicators about this upcoming season. Which I do love them keeping it close to the vest. Honestly I do. Just means they have something incredibly good lined up. They just want to make sure we are surprised. Can't fault them for that. But I'm dying for anything. The end of s6 left us wanting so much more with the scene above. We are all chomping at the bit for any content. I know Eric had a interview couple weeks back about s7. From what little he was able to divulge I am EXCITED.

Here is the link to it. Talks about Tim needing to EARN Lucy back in more ways than one. How she is the love of his life. (Tell us something we don't know haha) But I love Eric referring to her to as such. The personal development for Tim to come as well. Like I said they haven't given us much of anything yet. It's hard to have thoughts when we don't have much to go on. But it seems like it'll be well rounded season. It's always been a character driven show so I think it'll be more than just our ship. Which is fine with me. It is an ensemble cast after all.

I fell in love with this show as a whole when it first launched back in 2018. Give me more Tim/Angela, Lucy/Nyla and Wopez. I'll take all of that. I have been all in from the Pilot. I remember watching it on my lunch break on my phone when it first premiered. I was hooked. When we finally get a promo and a friggin premiere date I can probably be more in depth with my answer. Since we don't have a lot to go on it's hard to have in depth thoughts ha But from what little they've let out I'm quite excited for the journey we're going to embark on. We just need a start date for said journey. All we know is Jan but I need a hard date LOL

Expectations For S7. -I expect Chenford to get back to the softness above. It won't be easy but I expect we are headed back there. I think it's gonna be quite the journey to get us there. Both Tim and Lucy are going to need to grow before we do. They both still have shit to work out. Lucy with her career path and the rough time she had last year. It wasn't just Tim that crushed her. I mean it was a huge headliner but wasn't the ONLY one. Our girl has some communication problems and is like her soulmate in how she handles emotional distress. Expect that to be addressed on some level.

Tim obviously has a lot to make up for and he knows it. That is the first step. I expect we see Tim working constantly to improve himself as a person. To be worthy of Lucy again. He's not going to half ass his healing. He is going to be very Tim in how he goes after it. This is going to bleed into every part of his life. I expect to see that all over his character development in s7.

I also anticipate that we'll see an even stronger and more refined version of Chenford in Season 7, with their characters continuing to grow and evolve. Strong separately and even more so together. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. It'll be Chenford 2.0 and we are all going to be grateful for that. While losing our minds together it's happening. I would rather have our ship and characters be real and develop. Better that than to be puddle deep like John/Bailey. I'll take the pain of growth over the stagnation of boredom. i.e. Bailian.

Predictions-Obviously I want to predict something like above. Them starting over. Kisses, hugs, and if we're lucky enough to get a repeat of 5x12 on screen. That one I'm straight just trying to manifest lol Possibly Celina catching them or almost doing so when they get back together at her place. These are more hopeful than actual predictions lmao But I mainly predict a deeper intimacy between them when they do reconcile. Stronger communication. It'll be beautiful. I also think we're about to see a side of Tim Bradford we haven't seen before. As we know Lucy brings out the best in this man. The absolute best. We're going to see that on full display.

I think he will continue therapy. I also think we’re going to see a very determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends to Lucy. Which will bring out that new side we haven't seen. It's one of the facets of s7 that has me most excited. And not just for the Chenford portion. (Which does make me giddy to no end) But for him as well. You follow me long enough you'll know I love Tim development. So this excites me so very much.

We watched Tim take strides in his mental health walk and as a person in s6 after 6x07. I expect we're going to see the fruit of that not just in his amends to Lucy. But professionally as well. Tim took quite the fall professionally after being bounced out of Metro. He has fences to mend to Grey, Lt. Pine, and those around him as well in patrol. I see him making those strides and then some.

I predict Lucy is going to finally going to get grounded professionally and personally. (She does have a new roommate. I can see development here too) Lucy got very lost in s6. I think s7 she will be righting her ship. Finding her purpose. My guess was T.O. for her with her dipping her toe with Celina in 6x08. She's so empathetic and willing to slow down and teach. I think that could be a good path for her. Whatever her trajectory is I think it's going to be be worked out in s7 for our girl. It's time for her to get some damn wins. I hope that answers your ask LOL Or maybe was too much? HA Either way I can't wait for s7. I need a promo and a premiere date. Seriously ABC, you're killing us.

[kazumist]

EPISODE 23 ✦ PLEASE DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME

LOVE, MAYBE — A CHILDE SMAU

masterlist / prev / next / wc: 838.

with an ice cream already consumed, ajax is walking you home now. it was a silent walk; only the sounds of the leaves slightly rustling around you as well as both of your footsteps can be heard in the area. 

you liked childe—it took you long enough to realize that. but it’s still a lot for you to process. you think it’s mutual, but how can you be so sure? maybe childe is just like that to the people he cares about, right? but god, it surely makes your heart drop to your stomach at the thought of someone else also receiving this treatment from him.

is this an effect of an eldest daughter who’s also a hopeless romantic? perhaps. romantic love was an unfamiliar concept to you, after all. no matter how much you read or consume media that consists of the theme of romance, it will never be enough to give you the understanding that you wish to grasp with the concept. before you knew it, you had already let your words slip.

"why are you doing this?"

"why shouldn't i be doing this?" he asks back, slightly tilting his head to the side.

"i don't get it, childe. why are you doing this?"

childe pauses for a moment, realizing that you are actually serious with your question. he doesn't reply immediately, finding the right words to say first.

"it's because... i love you," he says, only realizing it now as well. he had always liked you, of course, but ajax had only realized that he loved you. he had loved you for a while now.

"what?" you asked him in disbelief.

"i love you, (name)."

"but... why?"

"is a reason necessary?"

your breath hitched at his words. "i—of course it's necessary! i don't get it. i'm a difficult person. i refuse to communicate. i push people away even though deep inside i know i need help because, even as a child, i never got any sort of assistance to begin with. i pressure myself to the point it's way too overwhelming. i fear that one day i'll end up being useless in my own life. i can hardly even understand myself so what more if others would try? i... i find that i'm undeserving of love because there are others who need it more than me."

"so please, ajax. there's no use in loving me. you'll just get tired in the end. there's someone out there who's more deserving of the love you have to give."

please don't say you love me, because i might not say it back.

"no."

"what? didn't you hear what i just said? i'm difficult to love, ajax—"

"i heard it, but that doesn't change the fact that i still love you nonetheless," he replies, taking a step closer.

"(name), i love you with everything i am, everything i've been, and everything i hope to be, and i'll continue to love you even when you push me away. i will always find my way home to you. i'll be there to pull you back up before you sink any further under the pressure you give yourself. you'll never be useless—i'll make sure that you never feel that way. i will understand you no matter whatever it is that needs to be understood with you."

"you are not undeserving of love, because if there's one person in the world that i'd choose to pour my love on, it would be you," he finishes.

“i… no.”

“what?”

“no—i.. i can’t. i’m sorry, tartaglia.” the use of his last name stung for him a bit. “it’s fine if you can’t right now; i’m willing to wai—” you cut him off before he could finish the word. “don’t!” he flinches at the sudden raise of your voice and is taken aback. “why?”

“please… just don’t. there’s others who are better and more deserving of you than me. why me? you’ll just be wasting your time if you wait for me. i probably wouldn’t be able to give you a proper answer. i.. how are you so sure that you love me?”

“that’s fine with me, (name). it’s okay for me to go through all of that because i know i would be doing it for you.” 

stop it. please.

“my answer is still no.”

i’d rather not risk it. i don’t want to take someone for granted, especially if that someone is you.

“but—”

this is for the better.

“go away, ajax.”

he could feel the weakness in your voice when you said those three words. he tried to get closer by taking a step further, but you took a step back. that was when ajax realized that you were sure of your words. “let me still walk you home, just for tonight—this will be the last one,” he says. as you were about to decline, he spoke again first. “i don’t want you to walk home alone when it’s dark.”

even if this might be the last time i’ll get to do this.

extra notes.

wow double update ?!?! watch me ghost this app again for 2 months ... kidding !

had this episode sitting my drafts for MONTHS. im pretty sure this episode has been written ever since i was still uploading ep 5 maybe? somewhere during the making of the early episodes LAWLZ

smau playlist linked here !! pls give it a listen it gives u the extra feels 😋 this episode is highly inspired by please don't say you love me by gabrielle aplin <3

taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]

[eddwardharrison]

thoughts on Clippet? (eclipse x puppet)

I think I would actually start eating bricks for breakfast

I’M SORRY!! NOT ACTUALLY LMAO || ALL LOVE / NO HATE

I don’t see Eclipse as a shippable character! ESPECIALLY not with Puppet.

Eclipse (as a whole when it comes to having any kind of relationship) is a character that struggles to keep connected to people and much less open up to them. The only time he’s ever opened up about anything is to try to defend himself when someone assumes the worst. He’s never comfortable around anyone, and he’s expressed many times that he just isn’t interested in the ideas.

THERE IS FOOTAGE OF HIM BEING ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE. WATCH VILLAIN PLAYS. HE’S SO /RELAXED/ IN THOSE VIDEOS IT’S INSANE. (Thanks SleepyNoGay for opening my eyes to VP…)

This is heavily why I HC Aro/Ace, because he is originally a Moon. I do agree that he is his own person and could have different preferences, which is EXACTLY WHY I DON’T CARE IF HE GETS SHIPPED ANYWAYS, but I just think, because he used to be THE Aro/Ace character (Moon), that he’s more than likely aro/ace too.

ALSO FOR THE PEOPLE WHO GO “aro/ace can still be in a relationship” HONESTLY DNI (not actually, everyone is different and I simply am not someone who can understand) AS AN ARO/ACE PERSON THAT LINE MAKES ME SO SICK TO MY STOMACH, EVEN THOUGH I’D LIKELY BE THE EXCEPTION!! ALSO THAT IDEA WAS ONLY BROUGHT UP BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE CRYING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SHIP ALASTOR FROM HAZBIN HOTEL. GET OUUUUT!!!!!!

Acespike and Cupiromantic, THAT’S WHO I AM!! But I could NEVER be happy in a relationship of any kind because my aro/ace would DESTROY me. (Tested and proven. Numerous times.)

Also he’d likely neglect his partner, and when he realizes he’s being the toxic partner, he’d feel really really sick over it, and would likely break up because of it. I just don’t think it’d be healthy for either parties!

BUT I HAVE BEEF WITH PUPPET, AND ECLIPSE DOES TOO.

I’m SORRY did we FORGET the MONTY AND PUPPET PODCAST?!??! YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE ECLIPSE WAS KIDNAPPED, TIED UP, AND THEN EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY DEGRADED?? THEY PUT THE /WORST/ TITLES THEY COULD WITH BARELY ANY CENSORSHIP AND FRAMED HIM FOR BEING /SEXIST/.

THAT EPISODE WAS BAD ENOUGH TO MAKE ME HATE PUPPET FOREVER…UNTIL SHE APOLOGIZES…depending on how she apologizes.

But also, her way of “befriending Eclipse” is just so bitterly annoying to me, and she would only make me want to destroy the universe I reside in more. She’s so pushy to believe Eclipse can be better, yet, like a plant, she starts screaming at it to grow and then complains when it doesn’t. BECAUSE…YOU PUT IT IN A DARK ROOM, WITH NO WATER. IT’S GOING TO DIE, PUPPET.

I can’t even see this whole Eclipse and Puppet Show as a “redemption arc”, it’s genuinely just a live broadcast of Eclipse’s energy weakening more and more until he either collapses or falls off a cliff whether someone pushes him or he just decides “now is a great time for a nap.”

He’s just being overwhelmed the whole time, and because his previous tactics of lashing out and making people fear him isn’t working, he’s just giving up entirely. You can SEE how angry he is ALL THE TIME, he still LASHES OUT but it’s been reduced to small outbursts and hitting things.

“Well, if he’s so upset, why doesn’t he just leave?!”

Where would he GO?? Eclipse’s are UNIVERSALLY HATED and Puppet probably wouldn’t LET HIM because she’d think he’s going to cause problems elsewhere!

Eclipse is literally just masking.

SIGH

SO, UNFORTUNATELY…

I think Puppet x Eclipse sucks beyond mortal comprehension.

Am I also just…nauseous with shipping fictional characters, so there’s my only bias.

BUT LIKE IF YOU LIKE THE SHIP, SLAY BESTIE!!! I REALLY DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO OR DO NOT SHIP AND HEADCANONS + FAN LORE ALWAYS EXISTS!!! This is just my personal opinion!! 😋😋

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - ᴛ ᴡ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

m a s t e r l i s t

ᴛ ᴡ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

Falling asleep and waking up with Lando are probably two of my favourite things in the world. The warmth of his body next to me. His arm lazily resting across my hip. His soft snores when he's not talking in his sleep. It all feels very normal. When we're in bed like this he's just Lando. He's not the formula one driver everyone loves to have an opinion about. He's just my Lando.

"You have that look on your face what you pull when you're thinking. What's on your mind?" Lando mumbles one eye half open.

"You. I just love when we're like this. It's just us and there's no expectations. I get to just enjoy being with you and no one needing your attention for anything else" I knew what I was getting into with Lando, I've never been oblivious to that but when so many people demand his attention for media or fans or whatever it may be on a daily basis I appreciate being able to have these moments alone.

"I know you aren't a morning person but it's nice to just relax and not have a reason to get out of bed. It's been amazing having you in Monaco, I didn't realise how much I needed it until you were stood in my apartment. It wasn't a hotel. It wasn't a motor home or drivers room. It's my home and that means more to me than anything else".

"Lando I'll be here as much as you want me to be here. I've loved being here with you as well. It just feels like it's meant to be. I would love to stay in bed with you but we have a busy day. I need to arrange everything for Liv and Max's gender reveal" after brainstormings for a few hours I came up with what I think is the perfect way for them to find out if their baby is a boy or girl. I have the envelope so I could technically look but I want to find out with them.

"I still can't believe they're having a baby its wild"

"I know! Who would have thought them meeting in Belgium would lead to this. I need to shower and get ready for today I'll be as quick as I can" walking into Lando's bathroom I lock the door knowing Lando is likely to follow me. Normally I'd happily share a shower with him but I am a woman on a mission today. I loosely curl my hair and apply my make up in the bathroom before opening the door to allow Lando in.

"Fuck me baby you look stunning" Lando looks genuinely surprised at my appearance and I have no idea why. I've done nothing different.

"Thanks babe. You seem surprised" I stand leaning against the door frame of the bathroom as Lando brushes his teeth.

"I'm not surprised, you always look stunning but there's just something about the way you look today" feeling Lando pick me up and throw me over his should I can't help but laugh as I'm thrown on the bed "I need you. You've given me a semi just looking as good as you do"

"Lando..." I can't even argue as I feel Lando's lips on mine. He's always affectionate but I don't know what has got into him today.

"Baby I just need to eat you out" who turned my boyfriend into a teenage boy? Feeling my legs spread and my underwear pulled to the side I don't stop Lando. I have a list as long as my arm to do today but I want this from Lando as much as he wants to give it.

"Please Lando, I need you" my words are all it takes to feel Lando's fingers tracing my slit and his tongue teasing my clit. He's holding me down with his spare hand leaving me a moaning mess on the bed underneath him.

"You two are so loud when you start" Liv says to me as we're stood in Lando's kitchen ready to leave and my cheeks heat up with embarrassment "it's a wonder that I'm the pregnant one not you"

"I'm so sorry. You didn't need to hear any of that" I would say it'll never happen again but I'm never going to be quiet when Lando is giving me multiple orgasms with his fingers and tongue alone.

"It's nice to see you so in love so I'm not going to complain just don't wake me up when you're so loud and we're good. Plus Lando had let us stay here so I can’t complain" Liv says with a laugh knowing I'm dying inside. We all know it happens but no one wants to hear anyone having sex.

"Are you okay driving? You know where we're going and I know you hate when I drive" I ask Lando as he joins us in the kitchen knowing how dramatic he is when I drive us anywhere.

"Yeah I'm driving. I don't think I'd survive a car journey in Monaco with you" rolling my eyes I hand Lando the keys to his Lamborghini Urus so we can all travel together.

"Okay drama queen. Liv are you both ready?" I ask picking my phone and bag up knowing we need to leave soon.

"Yeah we're both ready. I'm nervous to find out" Liv tells me as we walk to the car and I can only imagine how she feels.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" I ask knowing everyone usually has a preference.

"I honestly don't think I'm bothered Lucía. I think I'll be happy with either but I know Max would love a boy but I think that's just a man thing isn't it? Did you look in the envelope?"

"Nope. I was tempted but then I changed my mind. I want to find out with you and Max" our conversation continues as Lando drives us through the streets of Monaco towards Monte Carlo golf club. I know Liv and Max are both confused as no one is dressed for golf and neither of the boys have their golf clubs.

"Are we playing golf mate? You could have said!" Max is gutted I can tell.

"Max he didn't know. I only told him when we left the apartment where we were going. He has no idea what I have planned" I can't let Max blame Lando for the lack of golf prep considering he didn't know. Today isn't about them playing a round of golf.

As Lando parks the car we pile out and into a golf cart. I may have had to pull the Alonso card and possibly the Lando card to pull this off but it's going to be worth it. The golf club have closed a section of the course for us that is out of everyone else's way. I want this to be about our friends, not people realising Lando is at the golf course.

"Why are you driving?" Lando asks expecting me to let him drive the golf cart "You're never allowed to drive when we're together"

"You drove here but now I'm the only one who knows where we need to be" I say with a shrug as I drive us around the course.

"This is almost criminal driving around the course and not playing a round of golf" Max complains as we pass every hole on the course.

"Max don't complain, you have no golf clubs with you. We're here for a purpose" I say pulling up to the quietest spot on the golf course where the team have absolutely nailed my vision in such a short space of time.

I didn't want anything too over the top but the small set up of a golf cart cut out, pink and blue balloons with a backdrop reading 'boy or girl with will our caddy be?' Is perfect. It's big enough for us to make a celebration but not too over the top when it's only the four of us here. The views behind us are incredible of the sea in the distance and the sun is shining.

"This is perfect! It looks so good! Lucía you've pulled this off to a point I didn't think you would! I was thinking just a balloon with confetti when I asked you to arrange something"

"Liv I've never done things by halves, I'm not about to start now" walking behind the back drop I grab the golf club that is now engraved with 'baby Fewtrell' handing it to Max "you have a few practice shots first then the golf ball printed with the baby footprints is the one that has coloured powder in it. I have my phone on the tripod recording, go ahead whenever you're both ready" leaving Max and Liv to have a few moments with each other I feel Lando wrap his arms around me from behind.

"You've done amazing to pull this off. It looks incredible, we're all lucky to have you in our lives you know that right?"

"I've only done what Liv would have done for me if it was the other way around. What do you think, boy or girl?" I turn my head to look at Lando as I'm stood in his arms. I know regardless he's going to be an amazing uncle. He's already amazing with Mila and Athena and they adore him.

"I think girl. I can see Max being a girl dad but I know he'd love a boy as well"

"I think boy but you know my thoughts on girls" I say with a laugh as we join Liv and Max who are ready for their moment.

"Go on mate it's your chance to shine" Lando tells Max as he lines up the ball. He takes a few practice swings away from the ball before getting into position with Liv by his side. As the golf club hits the 2 inch ball I scream with joy in Lando's arms as blue power explodes around us.

"No fucking way!" Max and Liv both shout as they embrace in a hug. Our best friends are having a baby boy!

"I'm so happy for you!" I say hugging Liv then Max once they pull away from each other.

"I wanted a boy so bad I didn't want to admit it. I almost convinced myself it was a girl so I wasn't disappointed if I ended up having a girl" Liv tells us as we take in the blue power spread across the green below us "honestly Lucía I'm so thankful you arranged this for us. It's been perfect. I can't wait to share the video with my mum"

“Her and Noah are going to be so happy” hugging Liv I try not to cry and ruin my makeup. I didn’t realise just how happy I could be for someone.

A few days later we’re in Austin and it’s media day. My time in Monaco has gone so quickly I almost don’t want to return to the UK after the race. Lando and I have fallen into a perfect routine together and call me insane but I could see myself living with him. I know I have to go home after this weekend as much as I don’t want to but right now I’m joining Lando for the interviews that are open to fans.

Standing at the back of the room I want to keep out of the way and let Lando’s fans get closer to the front but I still want to be here. I’m savouring every minute I have left with him and that means being by his side at all times except when he’s in the car. As the interviewer fires quick this or that questions at Lando one in particular catches my attention.

"Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?" The interviewer asks Lando oblivious to the fact I'm in the audience.

"Blondes" Lando says with a slight laugh barely able to get his words out before the crowd around me goes wild "my girlfriend is blonde and she's in the audience so I have to say blonde or she'll kill me" this is the first time Lando has said in public that he has a girlfriend which sends the audience into meltdown and I can't help but smile at him from my place at the back of the room. A few fans have realised I'm stood where I am and smile at me but my eyes are on the man at the front of the room. My man.

“And is it true your girlfriend is Fernando Alonso’s daughter?”

“Yeah it’s true, Lucía is Fernando’s daughter” I’m interested to see where this interview is going considering it’s taken a detour from rapid fire questions.

“How does he feel about you being in a relationship with his daughter?” Talk about digging for an exclusive! Lando already knows I’m happy for him to talk about me in public but I can tell by the look on his face he doesn’t want to give too much away. We’re both enjoying our relationship as it is and we don’t want anything to change.

“He’s happy for me. I think. He hasn’t pushed me off track yet which is a good thing I guess” Lando explains making the crowd in front of him laugh. He’s got them on a string. He could say anything and they’d believe him “I’ve known Fernando a long time and I’ve always looked up to him. Hopefully he knows by now I’m a good person and will always treat Lucía with the love and respect she deserves”

“You sound like the kind of guy every dad wants for their daughter”

“I have my flaws just ask Lucía she’ll give you a list” Lando says with a laugh as he winks at me. Never mind the audience being held on a string, the man has me hanging on his every word. As the interview wraps up Lando works his way around the room taking photos with the fans until he gets to me.

“I love you y’know”’ I say wrapping ay around Lando’s neck kissing him softly.

“I know and I love you”

landonorris

Like by esmelucia, mclaren and 785,993 others

landonorris LFG! Austin I’m coming for ya 🇺🇸

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esmelucia if anyone wondered what it's like to be on your knees for Lando its a similar view to this 🤤

↪️ landonorris seriously Lu 😅

↪️ esmelucia I'm so fucking horny

↪️ landonorris you're the only one

oscarpiastri I have a girlfriend and you two make me feel single

↪️ esmelucia sucks to be u

user93 Lando and Lucía quoting Sabrina Carpenter to each other is iconic!

↪️ user68 imagine the bed chem between them!

↪️ emselucia it's even better than in my head

↪️ user93 what an absolute queen!

• • •

This isn’t proof read and it’s shockingly bad but I’m sorry it’s taken forever for me to post. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to sit and write 🫣

[lensman-arms-race]

I did the thing! (I actually wanted to do something with this prompt when I first saw it, but the stars weren't in alignment or something for my brain to produce the correct writing juice.) Kindle meets my character Phaeton - the sole human engineer working on Titan TV's crew.

'Too late, fucko,' the other entity thought - but didn't say. "I think this one's mine," the stranger - a human! - said, picking up one of their own spilled papers.

Kindle had never seen this human before, but knew this could only be Phaeton. (How many other humans in TV Base could there be, after all?) Wait - Phaeton the Titan engineer? Oh no, oh no, oh no, Kindle really did not want Phaeton to see these! Surely the human would mock its obsession-

"You are studying technical drawing?" asked Phaeton. "Sorry - I know you said don't look, but it was right in my foveas. It's pretty good," Phaeton continued as they handed one of the papers - a drawing of the TV Titan with doodled hearts in the margins - back to Kindle. "You remembered to include the freikugel couplings on the core array. Most people don't notice them and leave them out. Plus you properly added the asymmetry in the crown heatsink. A lot of people assume it's meant to be symmetrical and draw it as such on plans."

Kindle uttered a flustered squeak, and jumped at the realisation that it hadn't actually taken the paper off Phaeton. Nor had it answered Phaeton - Kindle quickly got its shit together and thought of something to say. "It's - it's like that to prevent resonance buildup - isn't it? The heatsink, I mean."

"Yeah, that's the bastard," said Phaeton. "Same kind of reason most humans have one bollock or one tit lower than the other one, I guess - prevents them banging together when we run."

"Oh! I... didn't know that," said Kindle.

Phaeton suspected that Kindle was embarrassed by the fact that many of its papers were all covered in hearts. "Honestly," said Phaeton, "I believe that to be a successful Titan engineer, you kind of have to be a bit obsessed with your Titan. And I know I'm not the only engineer who thinks that." Phaeton handed back some more heart-speckled papers to Kindle. "Oh, that one's mine," said Phaeton, taking one back. (It had doodles of farting bumholes and spunking dongs in the margins.) "I didn't introduce myself, did I? I am a Titan engineer - on your own Titan's crew, in fact. My name is Phaeton." Phaeton was intrigued by the short stature of this TV-unit. All other TVs could loom over Phaeton, but Phaeton could have used this one as a chin-rest.

"...You really think so?" said Kindle. "About the bit about obsession, I mean. Obviously you know your name is Phaeton." Kindle emitted a static-squeak of frustrated embarrassment at how incoherent it was being, and stalled for time by picking up the last few dropped papers. "Oh! I'm Kindle," said Kindle. There - that was a sensible response to someone telling their name.

"Well met," said Phaeton. They were picking up on Kindle's flusteredness but trying not to draw attention to it. "You know... if you'd like to meet the Titan, I could arrange that. I can't do anything about the other two factions' Titans; I don't have that much pull."

"Eek!" squeaked Kindle, almost dropping its papers again. "I mean... I don't want to take up your time or get in the way - I know you're a busy engineer!"

"Not that busy," conceded Phaeton, pulling out a paper from their own stack to show Kindle. Framing the the printed text were doodles of panicked skibidi toilets being pursued by angry bees and geese. "I don't remember this meeting but clearly I was bored out of my skull. Right now the Titan is between upgrade cycles so it's being kept in a state of T15." This state meant the Titan was being kept ready to deploy for battle with a maximum of 15 minutes' notice. "I could probably let you stick your head in and say hello- wow, are you okay?"

Kindle was so nervous at the prospect of actually encountering the Titan, it wanted to port away - an unkind thought flashed into its head of command-beaming Phaeton to forget this conversation even happened. But at the same time, it couldn't possibly pass this opportunity up! "Yes - I'm okay," Kindle made itself say. "I just... don't want to bother the Titan. Are you really sure it's okay for me to visit?"

"I am," said Phaeton. "Come, let's walk." They set off towards the hangar, and Kindle quickly followed. "I'm a Titan engineer, as I said," continued Phaeton as the pair walked, "and if I say it's okay for you to visit, then it is. And I know the Titan won't be bothered. The rest of the crew and I are hoping that things will quieten down enough at some point that we can start having scheduled visiting hours for the hangar, so anyone can drop in."

"Does the Titan approve of that plan?" asked Kindle, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"It was the Titan's suggestion," said Phaeton. "Oh, perhaps you don't know? The Titan loves every TV. Nobody planned it that way, but it turns out if you select a Titan from a pool of candidates the most loyal and devoted to the faction, and put it in a body designed to be the faction's ultimate guardian, with an intellect sized to match - well, the way its mind unfolds, it'll grow to love the whole faction. In retrospect, knowing what we know now, it was probably inevitable."

Kindle seemed stunned. Phaeton let it process that information, lest it drop its folder of papers again.

"You know," said Phaeton, "I was kind of a Titan groupie myself, before I got to join the engineering team. I first met it because I got voluntold for maintenance on its core. There's lots of disadvantages to being a squishy organic in a techfolk world, but it turns out being immune to magnetic fields is pretty handy. And from there I was smitten! The Titan really is as glorious and terrifying and beautiful as you're expecting - but it noticed me and was gentle to me and spoke kindly to me. And it always has. I just couldn't not meet it again! ...And you've probably heard about what came next. I became enough of a hanger-on that Engineer Zenith ended up giving me a position on the engineering team. They said it was because of my skill, but I suspect it was partly because I wasn't going to go away, so I might as well be useful. So, not a recommended method for getting a job, but it happened to work in my case."

Kindle's screen lit up a little brighter from having to take in all this information. 'Titan groupie'? Was that what it was? Kindle couldn't really deny it... "When you said the Titan loves everyone..." began Kindle, partly to show it was keeping up with the conversation, "It hasn't met me. So how can it?"

"You're about to find out," said Phaeton, as the pair rounded a corner.

Oh, they were here already- no, it was too early for Kindle! It wasn't ready yet... but it knew it would regret it forever if it didn't seize this opportunity!

Phaeton was already talking to the security guards at the hangar entrance, Kindle realised as it snapped itself out of its daze. One of the guards gave Kindle a visitor's pass to clip to its lapel (and gave Kindle a smiling emoticon).

Phaeton and Kindle entered. This was happening, this was really happening... Phaeton could tell how anxious-yet-delighted Kindle felt, and knew just how the TV was feeling.

Kindle felt more nervous still as its teleport-circuit prickled in the presence of the hangar's void-webbing. TVs could port themselves around within the hangar, but no-one except the most high-ranking individuals could port directly in or out - Kindle wouldn't be able to leave except the same way it came in. It was very tempting to do just that, and teleport back to the hangar bulkhead doors before noping out down the corridor... but Kindle endured. This was terrifying, but it was also just what Kindle wanted.

Phaeton thought of asking Kindle to port the pair right over to the Titan. The human often got around the hangar that way, hitching a lift with whichever TV was going in the same direction. Phaeton decided against it - it might make Kindle more nervous at having to not fuck up the teleport on top of everything else. Plus, the Titan deserved to be beheld properly, and the approach on foot would help Kindle do just that.

The Titan turned its head to find the owner of the unfamiliar yes-I-live signal. "Phaeton, you've brought a visitor," said the Titan. At this range... it was like the voice of the night sky, of the power in the storm. The Titan faced Kindle screen-on, that vast pane of static bearing down and transfixing Kindle with terror and delight. The Titan rippled its magnificent back-spikes with curiosity. "Eighteen-Ninety-Seven," said the Titan. It displayed a smiling emoticon on its screen and buzzed its speakers gently. "Well met."

Kindle was paralysed by sheer awe. It had seen every broadcast with the Titans, most of them multiple times, but that couldn't prepare it for the scale and magnificence of the entity before it... It was so frightening that it actually made Kindle feel calm from the sheer inevitability of the Titan. It was like a force of nature, only it had been shaped not by nature but by the greatest minds of the TV faction. The calmness Kindle felt was starting to feel more like serenity. 'This...' thought Kindle, 'This is my Titan.'

The last of the Titans, and the most powerful and perfect.

"Do not fear me," said the Titan softly, bringing its colossal screen closer to the walkway. "Dear Eighteen-Ninety-Seven," whispered the Titan, its voice a wave breaking on a stony shore in the dead of night. "Do not fear me. I couldn't bear that. I love you, dear one."

"...Truly?" Kindle said as it clutched its folder of papers.

"How can I not?" asked the pride of the faction. "I am your Titan."

Hey, Skibidi Tumblr! Let's do a writing exercise!

The last one I did was... a bit too complicated, I think. I got too excited; sorry about that. 😅 This next one is a lot more simple - and it's pretty dang cute too, in my opinion! <3

In case you missed it, here's the gist!:

Under the cut, I've written a little scene with dialogue involving some of my OCs (in this case, Kindle!). Anyone that wants to participate can reblog this post with their own characters, reacting and responding to the provided scenario!

If you aren't all that good at writing but still want to participate, then that's alright. Bullet points describing your character's thoughts or actions, or even drawing your OC's response are perfectly fine as well!

Have fun, everyone! Can't wait to see your responses! <333

Too engrossed in the art on the page, the short little TV unit in a black peacoat dress wasn't paying any attention to what was in front of it. As it walked down the corridor and rounded a corner, it bumped directly into someone and was thrown off-balance, stumbling this way and that. With a short staticy squeak!, it toppled to the floor, dropping its books and papers and scattering them everywhere.

As the TV sat up and regained its bearings, it realized what had happened. With another frightened, much louder SQUEAK!, it scrambled to gather all of its things off of the floor. As it did so, the stranger the TV bumped into couldn't help but notice the contents of the papers it had dropped: various pencil-and-pen drawings of all three of the Alliance Titans, all in incredible detail. Huh... a lot of these had hearts on them-

"EEEEK-!" The TV suddenly squeaked out, an embarrassed and flustered emotion plastered on its screen. "Oh my Titans, t-this is so embarrassing! N-nobody was supposed to see these! DON'T LOOK-!!! (⁄⁠⁄⁠>⁄⁠⁠⁄⁠⁄<⁄⁠⁄)"

[fazedlight]

something something organelles something chloroplasts…. sulfates…

*nodding along* yes talk science to me damn

It was so hard to write that chapter of Even Though You're Kryptonian, and try to figure out what the audience would need to know (assuming that most of the audience didn't have biology fresh on their minds). I ended up summing it to "okay, the audience needs to know that blood is important, and that the trait is maternally passed" and also "the audience needs to know this comes down to quantum information, which can't be cloned". When Nia says "skip the science", that is because I took out full paragraph explanations that were originally written there when I went back to editing 🤣 Buuuut this is tumblr, so I'll summarize here!

Quantum cloning is actually impossible (and would break the universe if it were possible), which Lena notes. On the TV show, they say they need Kara's DNA, and then get really sad when it's destroyed... but Lena is a scientist, replicating DNA is super easy, she definitely would've done that before loading the device!! So in my fic, we're going with quantum signatures, because the sadness around needing to reset the device to fight the phantoms makes sense.

The stable marriage problem (also called the "stable matching problem") is an actual thing in algorithms, with applications in economics. It's not specific to marriage - you can use similar algorithms to optimize which schools students attend, for instance. And it's always solvable, given certain conditions, with one of those conditions being that the two groups are distinct (like colleges are group 1, students are group 2 - a college can't attend a college & a student can't attend a student). If you don't have distinct groups, it turns into the stable roommate problem, which is not guaranteed to be solvable.

So basically my headcanon is that Krypton would look at algorithms and say "We can't have gay marriage, that's not algorithmically efficient!" because Krypton is the type of screwed up society that thinks everything should be done by algorithm.

Chloroplasts are organelles in plants. (Organelles are just organs for cells - instead of hearts and livers and kidneys, cells have things like mitochondria and nuclei and endoplasmic reticula.) Mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell? Well, so are chloroplasts (in plants!).

Lena at some point on the TV show tells the group that Reign's cells are more like plant cells, which Kara confirms as how kryptonians convert sunlight to energy (which is what a chloroplast does). But I say they're not quite chloroplasts because they have to use a different dye - kryptonians aren't green. Lutein is a yellow dye in plants (think fall leaves) that could probably be masked by the natural melanin in human skin. So that's what I made as the thing that causes kryptonians to give off a quantum signature - the conversion of sunlight to power.

Organelles really are passed from the mother (egg) to the child. Sperm doesn't have room for much besides DNA. (Though for reasons not yet explained, kryptonian biology is going to work a little differently than Lena expects.)

As for sulfates, that's just a category of salt, and they're plentiful in the ocean. I needed something that killed libido... unfortunately, most of the real stuff that would kill libido are things like alcohol or opioids, and I didn't want kryptonian kids running around stoned all the time. But salt can contribute to high blood pressure, which can lower libido - sooooo let's just pretend that kryptonians are particularly likely to experience this side effect, while not being killed by blood pressure. Their biology is different anyway!

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[eggsistential-basket]

thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way

[kocch]

if not gay why GAY CODED WHY GAY CODED

WHY GOING ON DATES MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO PERFORM ???? ??? what is going onnn

why why why the freddie mustache. why do you write him as he has problems actually committing to all the women in his life?? Why did he ask his male best friend to take care of his son if he dieS? ??

WHY NOT GAY IF GAY CODED

[james-spooky]

this is a test