#THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT THEM

[roblogging]

what i really love about wolfstar, is that they can be messy together. they don't have to hide with each other.

it's that remus puts on this front all the time to avoid becoming what everyone says he is. he's always conscious of keeping his voice low, keeping his actions subtle, and fading into the background. he's conscious of making sure that the one day a month where he's taken over by the other part of himself doesn't bleed into the rest. he's so cautious. too cautious, even, that people rarely see all his layers. because there's anger too. there's anger at the fact he lives like this, anger at the fact every day is affected by it, anger at the world for turning him and then turning him away. there's so much anger that he can't show, because he doesn't want people to think the books are right.

then there's sirius who walks around like he's never learnt the meaning of the word cautious. spouting off about how much he hates his family, betraying them at every available opportunity, keeping himself loud and eccentric after years of being told he was to be seen not heard. he's outgoing, energetic, he's always putting on a show. he's saying "look at me, look at my family, see how i'm not them". he's smart, he's loud, he's doing so much all at once so that he never stills long enough to actually think about anything that's happened to him. and yes, maybe james gets some parts. maybe james is the one that takes him in, maybe james is his other half.

but he's not remus.

it's together that they're able to actually unpick their layers, that they can show each other the mess underneath and know that they won't be judged. sirius doesn't mind showing remus the more broken parts of himself because sirius watches all of remus' bones break every month. remus is okay being angry with sirius - not at, but with - because he knows that if there's anything sirius understand, it's anger at the cards that you've been handed. anger at the world for not understanding you, at your family, at your blood.

and i love that about them. but i hate it too, because that's the very thing that ends them.

it's the fact that remus showed sirius all his parts that sirius starts suspecting him. it's the fact that remus trusted sirius with so much that when he stops doing so, it's obvious. he must be hiding something right?

and it's remus, remembering fifth year when sirius showed him the worst part of himself. it's the fact that remus was the only one sirius didn't beg to see that he's not like his family, thinking that remus understood that what's in your blood doesn't define you, and remus ends up being the one that sees it most, that he stops telling him things.

so really, they show each other the parts of themselves that no one else gets to see, and they're never quite able to hand those pieces back and slot them into place again. and it's so fucking tragic that they found a person that knew them inside and out, and ended up wishing that they didn't. maybe if they didn't know each other so well, remus would have begged harder for a trial. he wouldn't have believed it for a second. he wouldn't know that there's Black blood in sirius' veins, wouldn't have thought him capable of it. and maybe, if sirius knew remus less, he'd take his silence as what it always was. caution, so that people around him aren't hurt.

but,,, well.

[flameishstudios]

Rondael didn’t immediately go to fight Ajax when they pulled him away from his team, he didn’t even threaten them, or taunt them, he just asked them what was up, why they wanted to talk to him

He didn’t get hostile or rude until they threatened him, he said it himself he wasn’t going for people this time and he wasn’t very interested in fighting(specifically he wasn’t very interested in fighting them, he cares about them, he doesn’t want to have to fight him)but that’s not what Ajax wants

Ajax is mad

They want him dead

They wanted him dead because he let them get attached and then he left

They wanted him dead because he left them and he doesn’t care

They want him dead even more now, because now he almost killed them, they almost died to him, he’s not on their team, and he left them, and he’s stronger than them right now, and he almost killed them, and he doesn’t care

And if he doesn’t care than neither will Ajax,

But he does care, he might not show it because he knows that’s a weakness, but he does care, he doesn’t immediately fight him because he still cares, he doesn’t immediately insult them because he still cares, he doesn’t fully chase after him because he still cares

[kil9]

cheerful energetic kittyboy and stoic depressed doggyboy<3 anything is possible

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[beybuniki]

origin - rising

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

[hansoeii]

the best person I know.

[avi-mation]

Try not to think about Roomies’ unique quirks in showing affection.

How Etho is bit awkward in showing it but craves physical touch, discovers that forehead touches work for him. And both Cleo and Grian recognise it and put an effort to reciprocate it.

How Grian wants to do things to show his appreciation for his team, it coming out with him bringing trinkets or spending quality time with his loved ones. How both Cleo and Etho accept his need to feel wanted and make sure to always have some physical reminder from their beloved avian.

How Cleo likes to see her boys happy. How sometimes to make it happen, they would manhandle them in the most playful way, with some extra forehead kisses to sweeten the deal.

Now try not to think about it

[carebeardean]

do you ever think about how this was the first time Edwin laughed in 70 years. or are you normal

[1alchemistart]

dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!

happy valentines day :D

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!

(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)

[zosanbrainrot]

the little guys are back!!

[theodysseyofhomer]

spare thought for the enslaved shepherds in greek mythology/tragedy who rescue the exposed doom babies... sometimes they know why the baby was left to die, sometimes they don't. they just — it's a baby. no one else wants it. you can't leave it here. what harm could it do. it's a baby. you want it to live. it's a baby

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Hear me out, Michael would think Roxy is SICK AF