#THEN once i get IT to help me with that
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it is barely 8 am and the univer is t e s t i n g me i SWEAAAAAAR
#first i have to be up at 4am to take my dad to the airport#then i get home with an hour and 10 mins left before i have to go to work but i can't go back to sleep bc i already got ready#and i wont have time to REget ready#THEN i get to work and cannot get onto my laptop bc theres something funky with the docking station that gives me battery power and internet#THEN once i get IT to help me with that#my normal desktop computer FREEZES while i am in the MIDDLE of working on this document#and thankfully it wasnt long since the last time i hit save but STILL#so i shut my computer off EXCEPT AT FIRST IT GIVES ME THE STUPID ASS 'DRAG THIS DOWN TO SHUT OFF PC' BUT HELLO ITS FROZEN I CANT DRAG SHIT#so i figured out how to shut it off#and i finally got it shut off but then i turn it back on and. the screen is still black#so i go bug the IT guys again and i bring one back to my desk but the second we get there OF COURSE the screen has reloaded#except i didnt completely waste his time bc it was STILL frozen#he fixed it thankfully#BUT JFC NO MORE#GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE#mack rambles
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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Okay so I may have been struggling under a miscommunication issue
#My coworker heard I took a day off for a migraine and said oh I get those all the time#And described what sounded like a regular headache#So I dont know if I actually have migraines more than I thought or if she just doesn't know what a migraine is#She was like#'They've only ever had me bedridden once though'#And I'm here like#Girl every migraine has me blind and bedridden that's what a migraine is#Otherwise it's just a sparkling headache#So wtffff#Help#emetophobia tw#I think?#Headaches#Migraines
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For moment, you are home.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#granny wen#a-yuan#wen qing#wei wuxian#wen ning#wen bin bin#Si-shu#I had hopes to post this for Valentine's day - but I chose to practice self-love and get some sleep.#Instead I am here on the day of this blog's two year anniversary to reminisce and give thanks.#Not quite about blog stuff. That's for another post. I have quite a few treats to share for this anniversary!#Rather...I've been thinking about my own relationships and the bonds I've forged and broken.#The transition between environments...when you leave somewhere and hear about how all the people you were once close with-#-have been moving on without you? It's so bittersweet.#You want to be happy for them. You wish you were at their side. You cannot be at their side.#Relationships change like the tides. They ebb and flow. Sometimes they crash so hard into the shore it reshapes it entirely.#The truth is that we are more surrounded by love than we realize. Even when we feel utterly alone - there is someone who wants to help.#And to me this scene strikes a chord in that way.#This is the reminder than even though you feel like it is all burning down around you - you are loved.#There are people who miss you. People who are so thankful for your presence in their life.#And most importantly of all. And I say this from the heart: There are people you have yet to meet.#Remember this in the darkest of days: The future is full of loves you have yet to see. The present is also full of love you forgot to see.#Another reminder to go tell someone you care about how much they mean to you today. It matters.
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)
#day 9547860367 of drawing them in the hopes that the next chapter will be ada reunion. we will see.#ALSO HELP slamming my head into a brick wall i'm gonna get cancelled for glasses erasure one day istg. i'm sorry kuni#watch me once again exaggerate a barely visible height difference in canon bc idgaf dazai should get to be short for once in his life#anyway i hope skk eats shit i want knkdz back i miss them so fucking much#i pray and beg and sob every night kneeling at my bedside for dazai to go home and see his husband and son again#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws#uughhhhh posting at ungodly hours AGAIN this is gonna catch up to me one day istg
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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important context: they found him moping over a picture of him and d-16 at 1AM :/ gotta lay down some of that collective wisdom when needed and they're Not enabling bad taste ://
haunted au
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#maccadam#optimus prime#tfone optimus prime#megatronus prime#solus prime#prima prime#tf primes#tfone primes#haunted au#optimus: primus give me patience because if you give me strength-#they're those friends that see you looking at your ex's contact and throw your phone through the window#they were there to get you through that breakup once already and they're not doing it again or so help them-#my art
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my theory is neurodiverse people also have anti special interest a thing that they just can't record any information about and listening about it makes us almost physically ill like you want to be out of your body and out of existence
#for me its soccer#and dont get me wrong ill listen to someone passionate about it#but once it gets into my ears its immediately gone#i just cant help it#neurodivergent#neurodiverse stuff#actually autistic#autistic things#adhd problems#autism#adhd#neurodiversity
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separate ways
#so i became utterly consumed by pre-war dratchet#they make me so damn sad#like i don't think they could've understood each other very well back then#even millions of years later ratchet's still kinda functionist about his hands. probably since he's always been intimately connected to aut#so no one gives him shit and he's probably rarely had to imagine himself in someone else's position#meanwhile drift had nothing#ratchet: why don't you get a job#drift (stuck in the dead end for a reason):#but at the same time ratchet cared enough to try to help and drift remembers that and udgfdhhdhdh#they match beautifully in mtmte/ll. guy who's never belonged anywhere. guy who's always belonged somewhere#guy who made a place for himself by killing. guy who kept his place by healing#born-again guy. tenured guy finally thinking of deviating from the job he was assigned at birth#but also i kinda needed to practice 3d modeling for work. but also i really really wanted to try fake etching because i like the metallic l#so here's something vaguely metaphorical born of my desire to everything at once#maccadam#dratchet#transformers idw#tf ratchet#tf drift#my art
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. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, DAY 10: 10 LORDS A LEAPING!⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊
The boys are back in town!
Day 10 of [ELITISIM’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS ADVENT EXTRAVAGANZA!]] is Much, MUCH needed love to the fine gentlemen of TS3. So funny story, this was this primarily supposed to be a cold weather menswear pack that I was supposed to post back in like late-September/EARLY October, it was literally called the equinox collection... but then the fall equinox passed, and I didn't know what the rename it, and I didn't feel like remaking the graphics...so now it's Christmas gifts!
Information:
None of this is my original work! All mesh and texture credit goes to, @gorillax3, @darte77, @lazyeyelids, @amelylinaa @ooboosoo, @atomiclight-cc, @xion!
Set contains 31 CAS items for YA-A Males: 22 Tops, and 9 Bottoms
All clothing options are disabled for random, have all LODS, and Morphs.
credits, preview pictures, links to originals, poly counts and individual download links for every single item is under the cut.
WARNING:Polycounts are HIGH for MOST of this stuff. Sorry! Please reference the list under the cut before downloading!
**WARNING 2: the bones on the Bottom2632 w/ Spiked Belt are ASS. I didn't want to upload them because I'm not really proud of them, but a friend asked about them specifically, so they're in here.
[DOWNLOAD MERGED]
[DOWNLOAD UNMERGED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
@ooobsooo: KKBasic 06 cargo pants // 7.8k poly // 4 channels//[DOWNLOAD] @oobsooo: KKBasicsSet 15 Jeans // 7.8k Poly // 4 Channels // [DOWNLOAD] @ooobsooo: Kwang Gong Suit // 7.2.k poly // 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
@ooobsooo:Layer shirt 3// 7.4k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @ooobsooo:March Denim Jacket + // 10.2k poly // 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @amelylina: Benjamin Sweater// 6.5k poly// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
@darte77 Belted Jeans 102 // 8.9k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] **@darte77 Bottom2632 w/ Spiked Belt//9.5k polyys// 4 channels// ** bones are not great on this download at your own risk** [DOWNLOAD] @darte77: Long coat // 11.3K polys// 4 channels/ [DOWNLOAD]
@darte77 Parka w/Layered Shirt // 7.2k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @darte77 RAF Bomber Jacket// 9.3k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @darte77 Ripped Knit Sweater//9.1k//2 channels//[DOWNLOAD]
@darte77 Moto Jacket // 10k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @darte77 Leather Overcoat// 11.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @darte77 Wool Overcoat//11.1k//4 channels//[DOWNLOAD]
@darte77 Parka w/ Turtleneck // 10.1k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @gorillax3-cc: basic cardigan 2// 9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Basic Sweater// 9k poly// 4 channels// [Download]
@gorillax3-cc: Cardigan and Shirt 3// 7.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Chino Pants// 6.3k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Coord Pants//4.2k// 4 channels// [Download]
@gorillax3-cc: Down Jacket 3// 9.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Down Vest// 7.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Mandarin Collar Shirt//8.2k// 4 channels// [Download]
@gorillax3-cc: Pajama Shirt // 8.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Pants 15 w/ Gucci Belt// 2.6k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Scarf String Hoodie//8.1k// 4 channels// [Download]
@xionsims: Cool Kid Jeans // 6.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @xionsims: Ripped Jeans // 6.8k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @Darte77 // Layered Shirts// 10.2k // 2 channels + 4 swatches// [Download] @lazyeyelids: Chesterfeild Coat// 7.1k Polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
#ts3cc#s3cc#ts3 cc#sims 3 cc#ts3 download#ts3#s3 cc#ts3 dl#s3 dl#sims 3#4t3#ts3 male clothing#ts3 clothing#ts3 male cc#ELITISIM'S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS ADVENT EXTRAVAGANZA!#[MINE]#there's nothing for me to yap about in the tags for once im sad#enjoy some banal ramblings about my day i guess?#I don't have to work christmas eve for once so I can leave to go to my grandma's for Christmas tonight instead of tomorrow#yay! :D#which means i get to help set up the Christmas scavenger hunt for the kids in 20 degree weather#boo! >:C eff them kids#jk i love them
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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Character Sheet / Student ID
With the help of some cute Gremlins, I was able to create a Character Sheet / Student ID with different designs for each house for your Hogwarts (Legacy) OC/MC!
Please feel free to use it and share your character(s)! :3 💚💙💛❤️
#Hogwarts#Hogwarts Legacy#HLStudentID#StudentID#HLCharacterSheet#Character Sheet#Thank you everyone for your help#💚#Just a fun little project#that drove me insane sometimes#but this Kiwi loves to suffer#I think it turned out okay#It's not perfect#but okay#This Kiwi is satisfied#(not thanks to A CERTAIN KIWI SLURPING SAVAGE)#(THANK YOU VERY MUCH)#(FFS WHO EATS A KIWI LIKE THAT??)#(LEARN TO EAT YOUR FRUIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON)#(Bobby would even share his favourite straw with you)#(Because Bobby really loves to suck the sweet juices)#(Bobby is really good at sucking)#(Bobby has a technique that keeps the fruit wet even if all the juices are gone)#(A true master of the moistness)#(Bobby just knows how to run his tongue all up and down a whole sp'kunk)#(Once Bobby starts taking out his flang-diddly to slam it in the flump it's nearly impossible to make him stop)#(When Bobby starts to grab your nootputs by the fleers you know it's over)#(for you)#(Bobby is just getting started Darling)#(Were you expecting me to hold back with my tags for this? lol)
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New idea: Shinsou is supposed to be babysitting Eri but he has to do something so he leaves Denki in charge for a little bit, he comes back expecting the house to be burnt down but instead he finds Eri begging Kaminari to let her re-dirty up her room so they can clean it together again
#kaminari is good with kids i just know it#got this idea while listening to the Mary Poppins classic Spoonful of Sugar#he turns it into a game and she forgets its a chore#at one point he turns it into a race#“if you can clean your side of the room faster than i can clean my side ill get you icecream!”#she excitedly starts cleaning the room and once shes super focused he stops cleaning his side#he was gonna give her ice cream anyway#when she finishes her side he goes “great job! now help me finish my side and we can get some icecream!” and they both work on that side#hes a tricky guy#he may not do great in school but hes still VERY clever#then when theyre done he goes “Okay! Now we can take an ice cream break and clean the closet after!” and she is having so much damn fun that#she begs to finish the closet FIRST#i love them#i wanna see her love him and him being a surprisingly good babysitterrr#denki kaminari#eri mha#eri my hero academia#hitoshi shinsou#mha#bnha#dadzawa#shinsou is amazed#and when Eri rants about it to mic and aizawa later they are also amazed#erasermic#shinkami
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redraw of that ds9 scene
LBH doesn't understand what's going on but wants to impress shizun; MBJ understands it even less but is optimistic about any sport involving a solid wooden bludgeon at least
#mobei jun#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#moshang#bingqiu#svsss#mbj#sqq#sqh#lbh#sqq and sqh briefly forget that they're both nerds who never played sports if they could help it long enough to reminisce about#games from home and wind up needing to explain the concept to their demon husbands#who are they playing? how are they playing? what's the body count at the end? who knows#either they're going to need a reinforced ball or the real challenge for the demons will be reining their strength in enough not to destroy#it immediately#poor cumplane they finally have the physique to do great at sports and they're still going to get shown up#my art#my first time drawing mbj so once again i am struggling with character design... still haven't even nailed down sqh. be gentle with me
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Wars and Wild working together.
Wars clothes are based on those Hyrule Warriors concept art for Link.
#linked universe#lu wild#lu warriors#left handed right handed let's not worry about such things#I was hoping to do a painting once a month but work is being work#either way very happy I did this painting. learned a lot and finally starting to get comfortable with watercolour#If Wild gets different outfits then so do all the boys so help me
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