#(LEARN TO EAT YOUR FRUIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON)

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Character Sheet / Student ID

With the help of some cute Gremlins, I was able to create a Character Sheet / Student ID with different designs for each house for your Hogwarts (Legacy) OC/MC!

Please feel free to use it and share your character(s)! :3 💚💙💛❤️

[danveration]

Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow

Parings: Creepy!Vox x GN!reader

Summary: Vox is obsessed with you and he uses his VoxTek to stalk you

Word count: 1437

Warnings: Obsessive behaviour, one mention of Vox getting a hard-on, Vox being delusional, jealousy, k*lling, Vox jerking off

A/N: First time writing for Vox!! I got this idea from some amazing person on discord:’) I immediately went insane w the idea and had to write it up

“I can’t get them out of my HEAD!” He yells angrily, banging his fists on the table.

Valentino and Velvet have noticed his behaviour towards you and tried to talk sense into him.

“They’re nothing special, Vox! Just another sinner. Get over them.”

“You tell us to not ruin our reputation but look at you. You’re a mess.”

“Maybe just.. go talk to them? Instead of being a fucking creep.”

Vox doesn’t listen. He wants to know what you’re doing 24/7 and who you’re doing it with. He has cameras set up everywhere. In your room, bathroom, hotel (as you’re currently living at the hazbin hotel), the street lights. Absolutely everywhere. He doesn’t want to meet you just yet, not until he learns everything about you so he can charm you off your feet.

You don’t even know him. You’ve heard of him through hell, yes. But you’ve never actually seen him face to face. Alastor has told you all that he isn’t anything to worry about, in which you believe him. Apparently he owns all the electronics in hell or something like that? You’ve seen posters of him and you think it’s kinda neat how he has a full on tv head as a face. But other than that, you never gave much thought to him.

———————————————————————

Today was just another day. You woke up, took a shower, went downstairs to have breakfast, and hung out at the hotel. Nothing of which you thought anything of, it’s just a normal boring day.

But Vox on the other hand thought differently. He thought everything you did was the most exciting, interesting thing ever.

“Oh! Fuck fuck fuck, they’re waking up.” He says, getting closer to one of the MANY tv screens he has in this room.

He looks at you in awe, touching the tv screen gently.

“So fucking cute when they’re waking up. Look at them, my god.” He whispers.

He watches you as you get out of bed, yawning. Watches you get undressed, and into the shower.

“Such a perfect body. I’d treat you so right. Better than anyone else could.” He says as he watches you wash yourself. He feels himself get a hard-on, but ignores it. He needs to have all his attention on you.

Watching you shower, learning your routine and what product you use, he stores all the information in one of his computer folders.

After you get out, he watches you choose what clothing to wear.

“Aww, that’s my favourite top on you.” He says in awe.

Then, you go downstairs to eat and hangout with your fellow hotel members.

Vox knows all your favourite foods and least favourite foods, to when you come over to live with him one day. He wants everything to be perfect. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

“You’re gonna haaavee..” He starts while you’re picking out what to eat.

“Fruit with cereal!” He shouts just as you pick it up.

“HAHA! Fucking knew it.” He says.

After you eat, he watches you interact with people.

He hates it. Hates when you talk to other people. What if they get too close to you? What if you like them more than him? So many thoughts cross his mind.

“Oh don’t you dare talk to-“ He starts while you’re walking up to Alastor.

You start talking to Alastor about something and Vox’s eye twitches.

He remains keeping his cool, but inside he wants to march over there and take you away. But he can’t do that, can he? That would be a horrible first impression! Even though he’s sure you’d fall for him in no time, he can’t risk it.

Right now, you’re sitting on a chair, scrolling through your phone.

Of course, Vox has hacked your phone too. He has another tv in which he can see exactly what you see.

He’s intently watching you play Angry Birds, when an ad comes up. Not just any ad, but a VoxTek ad.

You’re intrigued because this is the “Vox” you’ve heard of. You click it and Vox almost falls over.

“OH MY GOD. YOU-“ He scrambles to get as close as possible to the screen.

You start scrolling through the VoxTek website. It seems pretty cool, honestly. There’s a lot of “Trust us.” quotes, which you find kinda suspicious. But nonetheless, you’ve been wanting a new laptop since yours broke a while back. Why not give it a go?

You find a good priced laptop that actually seems like it’ll work really well, so you decided to buy it online.

Vox’s eyes widen.

“YOU- I-“ He stares in shock. You bought something from HIS website. You KNOW about him, it’s confirmed now.

He has the great idea to hand-deliver you the laptop. That’s a great first impression isn’t it?

He jumps up and goes to put on his best outfit. Making sure he looks 11/10. He cleans his screen, puts a mint in his mouth, and walks to the room where they keep all their product, finding the one you ordered.

He looks to his right, seeing the one you ordered, but then he looks down and sees one that’s 10x the money you paid for that one, and it’s their BEST laptop. It has so many features that he knows you’ll use. It’s their most high end product. He’s gotta give you that one instead. You deserve it.

He picks it up and puts it into a box, sealing it and putting a nice red bow on it. He kisses it and walks out.

“Vox? Where are you going? You’re looking quite fancy.” Valentino stops him as he’s about to walk out of the building.

“Oh nowhere!” Vox answers as he walks out. He doesn’t want Val to give him a hard time about this.

Val looks in question, but just walks off.

As Vox is walking to the hotel, he’s rehearsing his lines.

“Ah! Y/n. Hello there, I’m here to give you your laptop.” He mumbles. “No that sounds so fucking.. Hi, Y/n! Here’s your laptop.”

He mumbles a bunch of fraises when finally, he arrives on the doorstep.

He adjusts his bow tie and takes a deep breathe, knocking on the door.

You perk up at a knock on the door, you’re the only one at the hotel right now, other than Niffty. You go to answer it, wondering who it’ll be.

As you open the door, Vox’s heart stops.

It’s.. Vox? That tv guy! That’s weird, you literally just ordered a laptop from his site about 20 minutes ago.

He’s staring at you, mouth open.

“Uh.. hello?” You say with a questionable tone.

“Oh! Oh, shit. Hi! I’m here to hand deliver you that laptop you ordered.” He chuckles. “Well, actuallyyy, I got you a better one.” He whispers that last part.

You’re very confused. Do they hand deliver every laptop that someone buys?

“Oh um.. thank you! Thanks a lot.” You say, reaching out to take the box.

“Oh of course!” He says with a smile, handing it over to you.

“Do you like the bow? I picked it out just for you, Y/n.” He says.

You feel a weird sensation in your stomach when he says your name. How’d he..? I guess you have to put your name in the website when you order it. So that’s probably how he knows your name!

“Oh yeah! It’s.. a great bow.” You chuckle awkwardly.

You stand their in silence as he’s looking at you, seemingly so to be admiring you.

He realizes this is probably weird for you and takes a step back.

“Well! Haha. It was nice to meet you.” He says with a smile, sticking out his hand for you to shake.

Adjusting the box to hold it with one hand, you take your other one and shake his hand. As you do, you feel an electric shock.

“S-sorry about that.” He says, pulling his hand away.

“Oh it’s alright, don’t worry!” You answer, finding it kinda interesting.

Vox’s internal monologue is screaming. He just TOUCHED your hand. He’s never washing this hand. Ever.

He doesn’t want to leave but he knows he overstayed his welcome. It doesn’t matter though, he will see you again soon. There will be more meetings, more and more and more until you beg to see him.

“Cya, Y/n!” He waves at you, walking away with a satisfied smile.

“Bye!” You say, walking inside.

He goes home and jerks off to the hand you touched, moaning your name and cumming all over himself.

He’s got it bad for you.

[hedgehog-moss]

I know your blog focuses on Pampe, professional criminelid, but you’ve been focusing on your new garden (and you should rightfully be proud of it). Um, so what’s stopping your animals from munching on the fruits of your labor?

The beautiful fence that I built!!

My vegetable garden is outside the pasture, but I've left a door in the fence just in front of it so I can let the animals out sometimes to weed the area (under close supervision). You can see the opening in this pic:

My fence has been such a success btw <3 I know it doesn't sound like it because there are still occasional llama escapes, but that's because I've only built the Ultimate Anti-Pampe Fence along 2 sides of the pasture (which is roughly triangle-shaped). It took me two years to finish it but since completion it's never been outsmarted! The only time Pampe got through this fence was after a boar had boared his way through it first, which is not my poor fence's fault. It was designed to be Pampe-proof not everything-proof. And I refuse to count an instance of Pampe escaping through a hole made by a wild animal as Pampe defeating my fence, unless she can provide evidence of having personally set up a secret programme training boars for this job.

The problematic side of the pasture is the hypotenuse which still has the old, non-Pampe-proof fence left by the former owners—so the few times she escaped in the past year, it was from there. I've been playing the long game because there are lots of hazel trees growing there and they grow quite fast, so I'd like to fence this side with a hazel hedgerow. Pampe has so far never escaped through the (still-growing) hazel fence, not even in winter when it's leafless! However there are several Danger Points—gaps in the hedgerow here and there. I've been planting different kinds of flowering shrubs or evergreen hedge plants in these gaps to close them but this fencing method takes time. Especially since Pirlouit often tries to eat my living fence while it's still young. It's a fun project though; by now the woman at the plant nursery is used to me showing up asking for a new anti-llama plant for my hedge. Here's one of the gaps I'm trying to fill:

I have also been thwarted in my efforts to obtain a living fence two years in a row, by the city hall guy who trims roadside trees—he kept trimming my hazel hedgerow so it was like 1m50, and I kept desperately reminding him that it needs to be much taller. The next year he trimmed it so it was 1m70 and I was like, no. I need it to be taller. You know my llama. He was like, okay, how tall? Just tell me and I'll trim it at the height you want. I said, one hundred metres tall I don't know, she gets smarter every year! By the time she learns how to fly I need my hedge to be visible from space!

He no longer trims these hazel trees.

If I were a tour guide in a sightseeing bus I would be like, on your right ladies and gentlemen is a normal hedgerow bordering a cow pasture; on your left is the Great Anti-Pampe Wall. Kindly do not throw your chewing-gums over the hedge she might use them as suction cups to attempt the climb.

[tiredfox64]

Hello! I know today is Father's Day and I don't see much father's day stuff so I was wondering if you could write different scenarios for each of the Lin Kuei trio that are surprised by the reader and their kids for father's day?

Happy Father’s Day

Yip notes: No fatherless behavior here

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader

Warnings‼️: FATHER INTO YOUR HANDS-

Bi-Han

Bi-Han was not big on Father’s Day. That day had been nonexistent for years and it truly ceased to exist once he let his father die. Even when he married you and you had his first child he could not care about Father’s Day. It’s just another day for him.

But he is a father now. You want to celebrate that because he was a good father to his son. He may be the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei but he still makes time to spend with him. He puts in a lot of effort to teach his son how to defend himself and encourages him to help you whenever you need it. Basically, he’s trying to teach him to be a man at five years old. It’s good to teach them responsibility early on.

There is one thing that Bi-Han wishes his son could be and that’s to be a cyromancer just like him. He hasn’t show any signs that he has this ability or any other powers. His son is an excellent fighter but he could do so much more if he had his father’s abilities. He can’t force the ability to perform cyromancy on his son, that’s obvious. He also won’t punish him for not having it.

But the universe is always surprising people. And there is a special surprise waiting for Bi-Han this Father’s Day that you have discovered.

While finishing up breakfast and giving your son his food you noticed him looking at his juice with a grumpy face. He looked at it like it insulted him. You checked to see if something was wrong with it but the only issue you could detect was that it was warm. No one likes warm grape juice. That’s when your son decided to place his hand over the top of the cup and you began to see cold mist emanating from his hands. Some of the juice began to freeze, even making a squeaking sound while forming. A couple of purple ice cubes floated to the top of the juice and your son continued eating breakfast like that was normal.

“Wha—When did you learn to do that?” You asked him. He shrugged like kids do when they can’t understand the impact that just had on a situation.

This was incredible. He’s a cyromancer just like his father! Oh you can’t wait to tell Bi-Han when he comes back. You gotta plan something to really surprise him.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

By the end of the day all Bi-Han wanted to do was have a good meal and relax. There was something wrong with some of his clansmen, they were acting crazier than his son when he didn’t get fruit snacks. He’s happy to come back to a sane wife and a tranquil son. But that smile on your face does not yell sane. It yells ‘You have something planned and that could mean murder’. You ran up to him and hugged him so tightly that he wondered where you gained this strength. After placing a dozen kisses all over his face you ushered him to sit down and eat.

“What did you do? Have you murdered someone? Are you trying to murder me now?” He has always heard about wives killing their husbands in creative ways but never would he imagine he would be a victim.

“No! It’s just a special day.” You reassured him that you wouldn’t kill him.

Me personally-

Bi-Han still looked at you with the tiniest bit of concern, but he did notice that you made him his favorite dish. He was incredibly hungry after the day so he really wanted to eat. As he satisfied his hunger your son came in with the teacups so you could serve his father some tea. Tea that was hella hot. Like hell kind of hot. Woman! What are you doing?!

The amount of stream coming from the warm liquid as you poured it into the cup indicated how hot it was. Bi-Han stared at it wide-eyed before staring up at you. But you acted clueless and like it was a simple mistake.

“Oops, looks like it’s too hot,” You looked down at your son, “Sweetie, would you mind helping mama cool down daddy’s tea?”

Your son was shaking his head frantically with so much excitement in his eyes. You picked him up and brought him closer to the cup but not too close that he would actually touch it. He placed both of his hands out. Soon, Bi-Han started to hear the sound of ice cracking and forming in a matter of seconds. The steam from the hot tea began to dwindle until it was a faint vapor. When Bi-Han looked closer he found that there were a few pieces of ice that seemed to be made from the tea. His eyes were now wide with surprise.

A faint smile appeared on your husband’s lips as he looked at you and your son. He got up from his chair and began hugging you both. He congratulated his son for gaining his abilities and having some control over them. Better to find out this way than when he has a tantrum. Then Bi-Han looked at you. There was so much love and adoration in his dark eyes. You were the woman to give him a wonderful son who he feels pride in. A son who everyone will believe is his. He could not thank you enough for giving him such a wonderful gift that he will hold onto until his death. He will forever be grateful that you gave him the family he desired.

He could thank you on Mother’s Day though.

Kuai Liang

You always informed your twins to respect their father. Kuai Liang was a hard-working man who built his clan from the ground up just so he could protect Earthrealm and more importantly his family. Even with all that responsibility weighing down on Kuai Liang he still made an effort to be with his children. He didn’t mind having his daughter and son by his side as he trained the initiates. They did help him calm himself down when the initiates were an absolute trainwreck. If his daughter wasn’t there patting his arm and telling him that he was doing his best he would have bursted out into flames a long time ago. She’s pretty smart for a five-year-old. And his son is pretty fiery. He’s yelling at those initiates like he was a drill sergeant.

Recently, the twins have been with you more often. That’s fine, he doesn’t think they are picking favorites, but he does miss their company. But they should get more time with mama. It’s important that you both get equal time with them.

Little does your husband know that you have been planning something for him. He didn’t even know Father’s Day was approaching. It will hit him in the morning.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

The twins came sneaking into the bedroom in the early morning. They don’t understand time, they only understand that the sun is up so it’s go time. They got onto the bed and began lightly jumping as they told their dad to wake up. Kuai Liang groaned as he slowly began to wake up to the sound of his children giggling. They shook him away and finally, he sat up.

“What is the matter?” He asked in a sleepy voice.

“We have decided that we should begin training now.” Your son spoke for himself and his sister.

Kuai Liang fully woke up at that moment. He has been waiting for the chance to teach them how to control their fire abilities. They were early bloomers so he has been dying to do this for a long time. I was you who held back on allowing them to train even though they begged. You decided to allow it for his Father’s Day gift. You were still lying down when he turned to you for approval. That’s when you gave him a thumbs up and he was out of bed. You’ve never seen him tie his hair up into a bun so quickly.

Throughout the whole day, you saw your husband and children running around the place as he helped train them. They were focusing hard on getting their abilities to work just so they could impress their father. Your daughter was the first to get the fire started, literally. Her hand would produce this thick, black smoke before catching on fire. Her fire was like ethanol fire with the bottom having a hint of blue before transitioning into orange. It stayed steady and Kuai Liang was impressed by his daughter's commitment.

His son…well he is fiery. He so badly wanted to impress his dad that he put so much energy into it that both his hands ignited. He was so excited and he placed his hands together to see how large the fire could get. He didn’t expect to make a tiny fire whirl. The fire grew skinny but longer and burned brighter as it twirled in his hands. Kuai Liang was not ready for that at all and was worried for a second before his son closed his hands. The whirl disappeared and his son turned towards him with a large smile on his face.

“Daddy, did you see that?!” He yelled with enthusiasm.

“How could I miss it?” Kuai Liang responded.

After that fire hazard of a training session, they actually trained with the other initiates. They listened well to their father’s instructions, better than the other initiates even with some being adults. They weren’t perfect but Kuai Liang was still happy to see them making an effort especially when they helped each other out. Hopefully, that sibling love stays forever.

Half of the day was done and Kuai Liang was more than happy with the results of the day. Once he got back to you it only got better. You served him his favorite dish and you all sat down to eat dinner together. He told you all about the kids’ achievements. It warmed your heart to see his constant smile as he listened to his son or daughter explain how they felt at that moment. And then your son created another fire whirl to show you at the dinner table.

“Hey! No creating fire at the dinner table! You can only do that if we are under attack.” You scolded your son.

The end of the day came and you both put the twins to bed for the night. They were incredibly drained from the day. They have small bodies you can’t blame them. You and Kuai Liang made your way back to the bedroom and started preparing for bed. Throughout the whole time you were getting ready he would occasionally add in something else that happened in the day or something that was on his mind. It didn’t matter if it was minimal or something theoretical he wanted to talk more about the day. You started to wonder if you would get any sleep that night. But he eventually shut his mouth since he needed rest for the next day.

You both lay in bed, his forehead pressed up against yours and his arms wrapped around your waist. The only sound left was light breathing. Both your eyes were closed and you both slowly slipped into slumber. He heard you say one more thing to him.

“Happy Father’s Day.” You whispered.

“Thank you.”

Tomas

Father’s Day has been special to Tomas since you first told him you were pregnant on Father’s Day. Seeing that little onesie made his heart explode and filled his mind with the many possibilities that came with being a father. Even when your son was a baby you still made sure to make Father’s Day eventful to show how well he was doing as a father. He truly was wonderful both before and after your son was born.

Now your son is five and he understands the concept of holidays which makes it easier to plan something for Tomas. You and your son are a team with the goal of making Tomas happy for the whole day. Your son was actually the one to suggest getting his father a new karambit. It sounded like a great idea but you had to make sure to get the right one for him. Not one that was cheap or the incorrect style like a folding one. You know how much he loves his usual karambit so getting one that will make him put that one down even for a second would be a challenge. But there has been no challenge that you haven’t overcome yet. You will overcome this one as well.

You suggested to your son to ask his father to take him on a hunt. Tomas always mentioned how he wanted to teach his son to hunt both as a way to defend himself and give him a chance at survival. Your son was getting interested in finding a weapon that would fit him best. A bow and arrow was what caught his eye. So you can kill two birds with one stone by allowing Tomas to teach his son to hunt and allowing your son to figure out a bow and arrow.

A plan was made. Now to wait for Father’s Day to come.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

The moment Tomas opened his eyes to the morning light his son was standing above him and asked him to take him hunting. It confused your husband because this was out of nowhere. But children decide things at random and go with it. So is it really all that strange?

Tomas debated for a bit, unsure if it was safe to do so. But he began hunting when he was six so what difference does it make? It’s one year early. If any danger were to occur, Tomas would defend his son to the very last breath. He looked towards you for approval and you said today would be a good day to do so. It was sunny and your son was clearly excited to go outside. Your husband smiled at you before giving you a kiss and getting ready for the day.

In less than an hour they were out of the house. Tomas had his karambit and a hunting knife while your son had a bow and arrow. That gave you time to prepare everything and hopefully that karambit you told Johnny to order for you will arrive in time.

Tomas was loving the conversations he was having with his son. He would randomly tell him facts about things in the woods that he learned from books you had around. He never knew there was a difference between an oyster mushroom and a maitake mushroom until it was pointed out to him. He decided to collect some for you to use later.

A few miles in, that’s when they spotted a pheasant in the distance. It was clearly a male since it was larger and more colorful. Tomas instructed his son to duck down behind a bush and keep an eye on the bird. They couldn’t miss it since its blue head popped out amongst the green foliage. Tomas helped his son to place the arrow correctly and told him to be very careful when pulling it back. Your son was very focused and his breathing was intense as he stared down the bird. Seconds passed, possibly minutes. The only sound that was heard other than the breathing was the wind. Finally, he let the arrow go and it flew in the air. It struck the pheasant and it fell limp on the ground. At that moment Tomas could not be any prouder.

He congratulated his son on his first hunt. Not only was it his first but it was a success. They were able to gather vegetables and meat to take home. When he looked down at his son from time to time he saw his younger self in him. A strong boy who was on his way to becoming a great hunter. He’ll be able to protect himself and hopefully protect you from any harm.

Once the sun began to set that’s when they made their way back home. Your son held onto his father’s hand the whole way even when they walked into the house. The pleasant smell of food hit Tomas’ nose and he recognized that you made his favorite dish for him. You absolute sweetheart, he’s so happy he married you.

He was ready to tell you all about the successful day they had once he sat down but when he did that’s when you placed a gift box in front of him. It didn’t look like anything extravagant but there was a soft smile on your face and an excited one on your son’s.

“Open it.” You gestured for him to do so.

Tomas was careful with taking the top off the box. The light reflected off the item and soon he realized what it was. A new karambit. It wasn’t just any ordinary karambit though. He took it and the handle felt perfect in his hands, like it was shaped for him. The blade was a nice, shiny black color with the sharp part of it being silver. Then something caught his eye. There was something carved in the blade. They were initials. They were his, yours, and your son’s initials.

Tears began to prick his eyes without him realizing it. The karambit just looked so beautiful and the day he had was so wonderful. He felt you and your son’s arms wrap around him before you gave him a kiss.

“Happy Father’s Day.” You said with love.

“Thank you…thank you both.” His voice quivered a little as he hugged you both back.

Yap notes: I would love to go to another baseball game with my dad. Or bet on horses. I love going to the racing tracks with him. Adiós!

[restinslices]

小天使

Bi-Han x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 2036

Summary: Who would have thought that raising a child would be the hardest thing in a world full of gods, Edenians, sorcerers, war, and whatever else life decided to throw in the mix.

Translations for future reference: 小天使 - Little angel. 爸爸- Baba/dad. 我爱你! - I love you! (I got all these translations from Google, so they could be wrong).

If someone were to ask Bi-Han which was harder, being a Grandmaster or having a young child, he'd say the latter without hesitation. 

It's not that he didn't like being a father. It's just that kids… well… they're special creatures. Special in the sense that things that made sense to them, made no sense to the adults around them. 

Here are just a few moments that made Bi-Han wanna face the wall and never be seen again. 

Bald People 

“Chew with your mouth closed 小天使” Bi-Han used his hand to push your jaw up then wipe juice from your mouth, earning a giggle from you. He had no idea what was funny, but he learned long ago to not ask many questions. Your brain would never make sense to him and vice versa. 

To say it was a nice day would be an understatement. For the first time in days there was no rain in the area, the cold didn't bite at anyone's exposed flesh (something he didn't mind, but your body didn't process the cold the same way his did. At least not yet), the clouds didn't cast the world into darkness, no. Nothing like that. It was clear. Not a cloud in sight. No rumbles of thunder. Just a clear day. Perfect for eating fruit with his little buddy outside. 

Bi-Han made a fatal error though. He allowed himself to get too comfortable. He stopped being on his guard. 

“爸爸!” You shouted. “爸爸 WHY IS THAT GUY BALD?!”. 

Please let that be a hallucination… 

He followed where your finger was pointing, and to his disappointment, he wasn't hallucinating. You were pointing to a Lin Kuei ninja who had taken his mask off to reveal his smooth and bald head. The man- well, not just him. Every ninja looked over at the two of you in shock. 

“Hey!” he pushed your hand down. “What'd I say about pointing?” he scolded. It was all he could think to say. What was he supposed to do in this situation? He had never been advised on what to do if his child suddenly became interested in bald people. 

“BUT HE IS BALD! WHY IS HE BALD?!”. Bi-Han said a silent prayer to the Elder Gods to give him the strength to not strangle you. 

“Stop yelling! Eat your fruit!”

“But why is he bald?” at least you weren't screaming anymore. Small wins. “I'm not bald. You're not bald. I've never seen a bald person in real life. What's the word for 'bald’ in Chinese? I can't remember-”

His hand covered your mouth. He sighed. If only he could stay like this forever. 

As the Grandmaster, he wasn't afraid of confrontation. That'd be ridiculous. Didn't mean he wanted you poking at some random bald guy though. 

Your small hands pulled his down from your mouth. He hated you were so cute, with your wide eyes and chubby cheeks. It made it a lot harder to be stern with you. 

Bi-Han having trouble with being stern? You definitely had changed him. 

“But he's bald” the last word came out your mouth in amazement. Had you really never seen a bald person before? He never felt the need to show you one. Why would he? “Come on, child of mine! Let's go watch bald people today!”. Kuai Liang had kids of his own, but he hadn't brought up kids could become fascinated with bald people. Was this normal? 

Parenting was so confusing. 

“爸爸!”

“Eat your fruit” he practically begged. 

“I'm gonna go ask him why he's bald!” You exclaimed. “Excuse me! Kind stranger! Hey-” with a sigh, Bi-Han threw you over his shoulder, grabbed the bowl of fruit, and walked towards the house. 

“Hey!” Your small hands hit his back and your legs kicked up in the air. “Hey I was talking to him! Hey! Hey! Kind stranger! Why are you bald?!”. 

You continued your shouts of curiosity, all while Bi-Han continued carrying you over his shoulder. And once you both got back inside, you still hadn't understood what you did wrong. 

“It was just a question” you defended as you bit at your nails and swung your legs from your seat. “Can I have ice cream?”. 

Bi-Han sighed. 

War was easier than this. 

Duckies

As soft as you had made him, he still pushed you when it came to training. 

And as silly as you were, you were still a fantastic fighter. 

It filled him with pride to watch you use your small size to your advantage. You'd dodge under the other ninjas legs, kick them in places like their shins, you'd even crawl up their bodies and startle them. 

His perfect little warrior. 

But before being a warrior, you were still a child. So it was to his disappointment, but not surprise, when you gasped and pointed behind him. Something had gotten your attention. 

“Look! Look!” You exclaimed as you ran past him. 

What he expected to see was something like a rainbow. Something that made sense to get excited over. What he didn't expect to see were two white ducks waddling next to each other. 

“They're ducks” 

“They're ducks!” You repeated after him. “They're so cute!” You ran at him and tugged on his arm. “Can I have them?! Please please please?! Can I have them both?!”. 

Would it be terrible to make a joke about cooking them?

More than likely. 

“No” he said sternly and grabbed your arm. “Go back to-”

“I wanna go draw them” you whined. You tried to pull away from him, even going so far as to try and pry his hand away, but you were a small child. 

By the Elder Gods… maybe if he screamed everytime he woke up, he'd have more patience. 

Bi-Han tried his hardest to say “go back to your training” as sternly as he could, in hopes it'd spark obedience in you. You weren't an obedient warrior though. You were a child. 

You did what he hated most. You fell to the floor, becoming dead weight in his hand. You mumbled whines he couldn't, and didn't care to hear. Everytime he tried to pick you up, you fought to stay back down. It didn't matter that he threatened to take away everything you loved. Even using the typical lines about Santa didn't work. You didn't care about Santa, or your toys, or getting an earlier bedtime, or no longer having candy, or anything else he could think of. You were in love with these stupid fucking birds now and all you wanted to do was draw them. 

“Fine!” he shouted. “Go draw your ducks!”. 

Of course, your sour mood was gone now. You ran away, leaving him behind to dismiss his men and debate on asking one of his brothers to babysit. 

Bi-Han hoped that this phase would only last a few days. 

But hope never really did anything. 

The phase lasted months. There were drawings of ducks everywhere. There were framed pictures, pictures on the fridge, pictures in between couch cushions, he even found some in the bathroom. Why the hell were you drawing in the bathroom? 

The sound of crayons scribbling on paper and you humming filled his ears when he entered your room. Ducks again he was sure. Duck this, duck that, duck every fucking thing. 

“Come on. We're visiting your uncles today”

“One more minute”. 

He sighed. He kept giving you “one more minute”. You were supposed to have left ten minutes ago. There wasn't a set time you both were supposed to be at Kuai Liangs home. He just wanted to be there by 2:30pm, but it was 2:25pm and you still hadn't left. 

“No more minutes” he didn't know why he kept trying to be stern with you. “We're going. Now.” 

He walked closer to you then, prepared to throw you over his shoulder and carry you off if he had to. Thankfully, you slammed your crayon down and showed off your drawing with a wide smile. 

“I drew us as ducks!”. 

It was true. Though the ducks weren't entirely anatomically correct, Bi-Han could still see the two ducks holding hands and smiling. You even added hair on both of you, and on the bottom in pink sat the words “我爱你!”. 

He pointed at the words and asked “who's saying that?”. 

“Both of us” you answered. “Cause I love you and you love me!”. Very true. Even if you made his head pound sometimes, he loved you more than life itself. “It's a gift for you”. 

Was it stupid to feel happy as he held the paper in his hands? It was just ducks after all. 

But in the same breath, you took two things you loved and put them together. Perhaps it was insecurity, but sometimes he worried that you weren't aware of how much he loved you. He was glad to know that although he pushed you, it didn't change how you felt for him. 

“Do you like it?”. 

Did he like it?

He left a kiss on top of your head and nodded. 

Maybe ducks weren't so bad. 

Party Time!

When Bi-Han felt himself being shook awake, he knew it could only be one person doing it. So, being the reasonable and mature adult he was, he decided to ignore the person. 

“爸爸. 爸爸. 爸爸” You whispered while shaking him. He kept his eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep. “Dad. Dad. Daddy. Dada. 爸爸”. He groaned and tried to shake you off while still pretending to be asleep. Unfortunately for him, you inherited his stubbornness. 

He felt your breath on his ear as you whispered “are you awake? Wake up”. 

Fuck. You weren't gonna stop. Maybe you'd tire eventually, but it wouldn't be anytime soon. 

He sighed, opened his eyes, then looked at you. “Why are you awake?” he grumbled, noticing the lack of light coming through his curtains. 

“I can't sleep” you complained. “I had a bad dream”. Well now he felt a little bad for ignoring you. 

“Come lay next to me-”

“I don't wanna go back to sleep” you whined. You fully collapsed on top of him, which he wished you didn't do because your head was now on his throat. “I wanna stay up. Let's have a party!”. 

“No” he answered simply. He pushed you off, much to your dismay. “I'll read you a story-”

“Nooooooooo” you whined from next to him. “Party time! Let's have a party! Dad and kid party!”. He rolled his eyes at your jazz hands. Parents needed a daily salary. 

“We're not having a party,” he said. He wasn't even sure what kind of party you were even talking about. Either way, it was far too late. “I will read you a bedtime story. You'll like the story. Then you'll go to sleep”. 

More whines. “Then the monster will come back”. 

That made him raise a brow. “The monster?” he questioned. 

Your frown deepened. “The monster” you repeated. “In my dream, there was a monster. You left me behind”. 

Oh his heart was so soft when it came to you. He could've told you to suck it up and that it was just a dream. Instead, his eyes softened and he rubbed your cheek. Your hand gripped his in response. 

“I wouldn't leave you behind”

“You wouldn't?”. 

You sweet child… 

“Never” he said firmly. That answer seemed to satisfy you. You burrowed yourself into his side and let out a sigh of relief. Poor thing. He wished he could prevent you from having bad dreams ever again. 

He stayed awake beside you, patiently waiting for you to fall back asleep. 

You frustrated Bi-Han. That much was true. You gave him headache after headache and confused him beyond belief. 

It didn't matter in the long run. It didn't matter how many times you said something inappropriate in public, or how many obsessive phases you went through. 

It wouldn't matter how many tantrums you had, or how many times you woke him up while the moon was still high in the sky. 

None of that would matter. 

He would always stand beside you. 

He would always love and adore you. 

His warrior. 

His little duck. 

His 小天使.

I haven’t written x reader fanfic in a hot minute, so I’m still a little rusty. I hope y’all enjoyed either way! While proof reading I realized that Kuai Liang would more than likely live with Bi-Han and wouldn’t have his own home to visit. But uuuhhhh it’s already to written 😀. So let’s all just ignore that little error.

[mothiir]

Fulgrim’s Guide to the Care and Keeping of Your New Pet Human

so this is inspired by the space marine husbandry posts floating about, but because it’s Konrad it got quite dark 😅

-

Darling Konrad, words cannot convey my delight that you have decided to welcome a human into your home. They are such wonderful companions, and so rewarding — but since it is your first time owning one I thought that I would put together a little guide for you!

Your humans first days at home:

I think it is simply wonderful that you’re adopting a rescue human — the Great Crusade has left so many of the poor dears without a home to call their own! You mentioned in your letter that you found her after the fall of Mercodia VI — am I right in assuming that she is one of the survivors of that little unpleasantness? If so, she may well be even more wary than normal, but don’t worry. Humans have quite short memories, and given enough time and care she’ll soon forget the fate of her family and friends. After all, they were awful traitors and got what they deserved for defying Father’s will — but in the meantime, don’t take anything she says personally. She’ll be upset and confused and will quite possibly lash out at you. I would advise letting her settle in on her own for a few days— maybe even a week or so. Put her in a room where your sons can’t trouble her (I’m sure the sweet little bats mean well, but they will play far too roughly for her), and give her some food and water. If you hear her crying, don’t worry — this is all very new for her, and she is probably quite overwhelmed. Eventually, she should calm down, and start exploring the room more thoroughly. Humans can be escape artists, so make sure it is well-secured. When you are ready to interact with her, I recommend skipping her morning meal so you can feed her yourself, therefore creating a positive association — you are the bringer of food! Don’t try and hand feed her; place the food on a plate and slide it towards her. Let her get used to eating with you in the room. She will probably be quite grubby, and humans are by nature fastidious creatures, so offer her a wet cloth and a bowl to clean herself, and a change of clothing. Avert your eyes if she makes use of either. Humans — especially female humans — do not like being watched while they disrobe. The key to helping your human settle in is consistency and patience! The initial adjustment period will be difficult but I promise you it will all be worth it.

Feeding:

Humans are relatively easy to feed. They require far less nutrition than your average Astartes and they will eat pretty much anything. However, in order to keep your human in the pinnacle of health I suggest a varied diet with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and lots of clean water. Humans enjoy sugar, but make sure you don’t give her too much — it’s bad for her teeth. If you give her a meal she does not eat, do not get angry with her: humans can be picky eaters. Ask her what sort of food she would like to be given in future. Keep a note of what food she prefers. Food is an excellent way to build trust, as I noted above, and a great conversation starter. Just please do not tell her that you consume human flesh — humans tend to be squeamish about such things.

Grooming:

I have included some soap, shampoo and conditioner with this letter — I appreciate that you might not know quite how to use them, but present them to your human and I assure you she will be most grateful. Humans enjoy keeping themselves clean — indeed, it can be very sweet to watch them cover themselves with bubbles! — and I am sure she arrived into your keeping quite disgusting with the remnants of battle.

It probably goes without saying, but just to be clear: do not let her bathe with or near your sons. They will probably get a little overexcited. When they have learned to pet her nicely, then they can interact with her — but always under your supervision.

I have also included some clothes. Part of the joy of having a human is being able to dress them up, and it can be a fantastic bonding experience for you both. However, do not force it. Present her with the options and let her pick one. If there is one you would rather her wear, introduce it slowly — let her choose between that option, and something hideous. Don’t force her — everything should be done gently, coaxing her along. And that brings us to our next point —

Training:

I was going to call this section ‘discipline’ but I thought that sent the wrong idea. You should never punish your human as you would an Astartes. She is breakable in more ways than one — not only physically frail, but mentally as well. The sort of rough treatment that your sons would shrug off could quite easily kill her.

Instead of punishing undesirable behaviours, redirect her focus. For example, as I mentioned above she may be quite upset with you for burning her planet and flaying the inhabitants. This is a natural behaviour — that is, the human pack bonding instinct — but expressed poorly (that is, through denying the supremacy of the Emperor’s will). Do not punish her for being angry at you; instead, work on healthier outlets for her pack-bonding instincts. It may be a little earlier for her to pack-bond with you, so I’d suggest getting her something she can pack-bond with instead. A puppy is always a good option, though if you do decide to do this please ask me for breed recommendations, because I have seen the dogs that are native to Nostrames and I do not think they are suitable pets for an ork, let alone a human.

She may try and escape. Once again, this is her natural behaviour to explore and colonise. Try playing hide and seek with her, or encouraging her to wander the ship under your supervision.

Naming:

Your human probably comes with her own name, but to answer your question — yes, you can change it. In order to get her to answer to the new name, inform her that this is her new title, and reward her every time she responds to it. It might be difficult, but not impossible.

Regarding the name itself: none of the names First Captain Sevetar suggested are acceptable. Most aren’t actual names. Please do not take his advice in naming your new pet.

Spaying/neutering, the physical, are you really planning to — The other stuff:

I understand that the physical side of your relationship with your human is your primary concern at present, as you mentioned in your letter. Repeatedly. And although I do appreciate the detail you went into when describing her assets, I would recommend that you do not repeat most of what you wrote to her. I understand that you think ‘your face looks better on your skull than it would on my trophy wall so you get to keep your face’ is a compliment — and it is! — but humans are not quite as au fait with the finer points of language as we are, so she will probably take it the wrong way.

I am not saying that you cannot progress to greater intimacy with your human — I have been married four times (to women, despite what Russ likes to say), and it is quite the experience. However, I really must urge that you give her time to settle in and become accustomed to your presence, so she is more likely to reciprocate your advances.

When you feel she has started to warm to you a little, write to me again and I can help guide you through the next stage of human ownership. It is a marathon, not a sprint, but all the more rewarding for it!

As an aside — whatever Captain Sevetar says regarding intimacy is wrong. Do not listen to his advice. Do not do anything he suggests. If anything, do the opposite.

Forever yours, and all the love in the galaxy,

Fulgrim

[galazry]

Finally... a glance...

pairing: best friend!scaramouche x gn!reader genre: modern au; friends to lovers; unfortunately, this is not angst; semi-crack? tbh i threw away all my logic while writing this. content: he finally confessed his feelings... at the worst possible way. before you could even answer, scaramouche had already run away. now you're left alone to wonder... how much of an idiot are you? cw: you get to learn how stupid both scaramouche and the reader are, also kazuha is here and is so tired with how his friends are acting. word count: 2K (I had a bit too much fun while writing this haha...) a/n: sequel to "Look at Me!". tbh i was planning to make a sequel that leads to an angsty ending. Don't worry, I'm not bamboozeling you guys this time 🫶 ALSO I'M SORRY THIS TOOK A LONG TIME I WAS SO BUSY 😭😭😭

It's been a week since Scaramouche confessed his feelings for you. Your aloof best friend for 5 years confessed that he had been harboring affection for you for the longest time. To be honest, you were quite baffled once those words poured out of his lips. Never had a single thought of him being infatuated with you crossed your mind. Hell, you even thought that if you were the last person on earth, he wouldn't even catch any feelings for you.

Oh, how you were proven wrong.

It's been too long since you've seen his figure. Seven days too long. None of the messages you've sent had been read, nor did he pick up any of your calls. His classmates knew nothing of his whereabouts, nor did he attend any of his classes. You even tried to go over to his apartment as you were sure he would be in there, but your knocks were met with silence.

The rest of your friends and classmates noticed how the usually lively atmosphere around you had gone gloomy. Currently, you were in the cafeteria, twiddling with your spoon, food untouched. You didn't really have an appetite as a heavy sigh left your lips. A week had pass and you were still trying to process everything that he had said; how Scaramouche had done everything to gain your attention, but all his efforts didn't bear fruit. You thought that all the things he had done were normal since you both had been best friends for a long time. Maybe it was why you didn't suspect him harboring feelings for you–

"Hey, [Y/N]. May I sit here?"

You begrudgingly lifted your head to the source of the familiar sound that had interrupted your thoughts. Kazuha. You nodded and your friend sat across from you.

"You seemed down in the dumps lately. Not only that, Scaramouche is nowhere to be found. Did you both had an argument of the sort?"

Leave it to Kazuha to sense the change in the atmosphere around you. You let out a sigh as you kept poking at your food. Not wanting to tell him the full truth, you only answered him briefly.

"No... No, we didn't."

"Ah, I see.”

You both continue to eat your food in silence – well, specifically, it was Kazuha who was eating his food, while you kept twiddling with your utensils. After a bit, you decided to break the silence. After all, this was Kazuha, one of your closer friends who, more you would sometimes confide in. Not as much as you did with Scaramouche, though.

“Actually… I guess we kind of did…? Scara kind of…” You take a deep breath, before muttering, “confessed to me…”

“Oh? Congrats to you both then. He finally had the courage to confess to you after harboring his feelings for you for so long. I don't see the reasoning for you to be so down in the dumps.”

Kazuha smiled, as if the words you said wasn’t a surprise to him. You, however, had your eyes as wide as saucers with the reaction he had given you. How did the platinum-blonde knew that Scaramouche liked you? The look on your face tells him that he was missing a big chunk of the story. Putting down his spoon, he leaned closer towards you and asked, “[Y/N], you did accept his feelings… right? This is what you have always wanted, no?” You slowly glanced away, not wanting to answer his question. Suddenly, to you, the trees outside looked that much more interesting as it swayed with the wind.

“[Y/N].”

“Look, I was shocked, alright?! The fact that the feeling was mutual was a complete shocker to me! And before I could process everything and answered him, he bolted right off!" You groaned, finally starting to spill the beans towards your friend, who suddenly felt his shoulders getting heavy.

“Oh dear…” Kazuha sighed as everything finally clicked into place. Even without you telling him the full details, he could already guess what had transpired between the two of you. He had always thought you both were a pair match in heaven and the event that had transpire prior really sealed said fact.

“This is why I told you to stop discussing your so-called ‘crushes’ in front of him.”

“Well…” After telling him the full story of what had happened that day, your friend could only let out a long and tired sigh as you fiddle with the hem of your shirt—the way you kept talking about the people, he knows you don’t have crush on in front of Scaramouche, and the way the indigo-haired confessed to you—he could only form a rueful frown on his face. “You know I’m stupid with these kinds of things and I thought if… you know…”

Kazuha knows. He knows how you thought that if you discuss your so-called 'crushes' with Scaramouche, you could discern if he has feelings for you as well. In addition to that, you also thought by making him jealous enough, your best friend would confess to you — which he did, though it didn't really end like how you wanted it.

"[Y/N]... Why couldn't you just be straightforward and confess your feelings for him...?"

"And look like a fool and possibly ruin our 5 years of friendship if the feeling wasn't mutual?!"

Kazuha massages his forehead as he remembers the conversation he had with Scaramouche weeks prior before the incident. He too had asked the indigo-haired why he didn't went up and be straightforward with his feelings. Scaramouche was, after all, infamous for speaking what's on his mind. In spite of that, Kazuha got the same answer like the one you gave him...

"There's no way I'm ruining my friendship with [Y/N] if the feeling wasn't mutual! Only an idiot would do that!"

To concur, you both really were a match in heaven— being total idiots oblivious to each others feelings and poor Kazuha was stuck in the middle. With a sigh, ruby orbs looked at you.

"So... What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know... Scara wouldn't even open the door for me-"

You stopped mid-sentence and stared at Kazuha. Before he could get a word out, you leaned towards him with a glint he knows so well. This can't be good...

"Kazuha... Your apartment is next to Scara's... right?"

A week.

A week long he had taken absence from attensing any of his classes. Scaramouche felt like his world crashed into him the minute he ran away from you. That wasn't how he wanted the confesion for you to go... There should have been flowers, or homemade cookies, anything.

The indigo-haired layed on his unmade head, constantly and silently cursing himself for his cowardly actions. He was about to mope some more when he heard a faint knock. At first, he ignored it, thinking that it was either you or Kazuha. Although, the knocks grew louder and louder, and even more desperate that, with a sigh, he got out of bed and walked towards the door.

Peering through the peephole he saw no one, yet the knocks kept coming. There was even a voice that kept calling out his name where was—

Indigo orbs dilated when they say your figure, on his balcony, pounding on the glass door, calling out his name. Without missing a beat, he immediately pulled you into his apartment. "Are you crazy?! How did you get into my balcony?!"

"From Kazuha's balcon-"

"FROM KAZUHA'S BALCONY?!?!"

He didn't gave you any time to reply as he began to check for any bruises or injury you may have suffered as you did your irresponsible stunt. All the while, he kept running his mouth, saying how you could have gotten hurt, and that he would have a talk with Kazuha for letting you do said stunt. Once he was sure that you did not suffer any injury, his hand immediately pinched your cheek. "[Y/N] [L/N]... What gave you the right idea to jump from his balcony to mine, hm?" Scaramouche asked with a smile, effectively sending chills down your spine. With a gulp, you answered him with as much confidence as you could muster.

"You kept avoiding me. My text, my calls, my knocks. Every time I try so hard to reach out to you, you constantly block out my efforts. So I had to do what I had to do. Even if the risk was great, as long as I get to talk to you that's all that matters." It was his turn to advert your gaze. Dropping his hands from your cheek, he then rubbed the back of his neck. Was it from shame? Or was the fear of you rejecting him now back to gnaw at his heart? The indigo-haired didn't know.

"Look, I know what you're going to say; That you have no feelings for me, I get it. No need for this whole stunt just to reject me," He let out a sigh, still holding onto the illusion that you never once hold any feelings for him. It was now your turn to prove him wrong, and to apologize for the misunderstanding that almost rift your friendship and potential relationship apart.

His eyes went as wide as saucers when your lips brushed against his. Soft. That was the only think he could think off once you pull away, the smile he had always adored and cherish now on your face. "I have feelings for you too, Scara." Suddenly, the dullness of the world around him became vibrant and colourful. The fluttering of the butterflies in his stomach could definitely cause a storm. This must be a dream, there's no way, in his mind, that this was all real. Or maybe it was some sort of cruel joke the heavens is playing on him.

Seeing the confusion reflected in his eyes, you explained to your best friend — how you actually had fallen head over heels for him; how you faked all your crushes to instigate a reaction from him; how you wonder if his aloofness was a sign that your feelings weren't reciprocated, but never did you once gave up. You wrapped everything up with an apology, that you could have done things better, and that you were ready to face a rejection from him. "After all," your hand cups his cheek, caressing it gently with your thumb, "this whole thing started because I wanted to make sure that you did have feelings for me. So, if your feelings for me have faded away, I would understa-"

"Idiot." He intercepts you mid-sentence, pulling you in for a hug. "You're stupid... Can't believe that you are a total idiot... Maybe this is the reason why you could never beat my scores... Always taking the most difficult and strangest route of them all." You were about to complain and ask about the correlation about academic scores and your current situation. However, the rare smile on his face as he looked at you as if you're his entire world completely shuts you up.

"But... I guess you're my idiot now, huh?"

.

.

.

You finally finished telling the story of how both you and Scaramouche started dating. The children, that you both were babysitting, had happy smiles on their face as your lover groans in embarrassment at the story. To the man, it was a cringey story, yet he never did once try to stop you from telling the kids about how your relationship with him started. He loved seeing the smile on your face, and if he had to endure hearing the same story over and over again, so be it.

Scaramouche wouldn't admit that he too, at that time, had been an idiot, for causing such a scene. Well, in the end, you both still got together and that's all that matters. Not to mention, you both have a fun story to tell to everyone as an added bonus.

Once the children's parents picked them all up, you both then snuggled on the couch. A soft humming filled the room as you gave Scaramouche a quick peck. "Hey," you started off and he immediately knows where this conversation is going. "One day, love. Right now, I want to savour these quiet and tranquil moments with you before this home of ours becomes lively and we have little spawns running around." He let out a small chuckle, holding your hand as his thumb traced the ring on your finger.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Found this lurking in a doc of random writing prompts from months back. If anyone remembers the exhausting discourse about whether or not bg3 characters would peel oranges, I apparently snapped, wrote all this for some reason, but then only ever posted the Minthara one and totally forgot all the others:

They would all peel the stupid orange you donkeys, if the point of this exercise is to complain about your non-favs being assholes that's stupid, use your brains and broad character interpretation to extrapolate HOW they peel the orange-

Like this!!!

Gale would peel the orange bc you asked and he's considerate like that, but like he's reading at the moment and doesn't want to fully be pulled away from that to do something you can obviously do yourself so he's curious why are you asking, is this some kind of gambit? a test? he's good at those, he'll pass, he'll be the best orange peeler. Gale casts mage hand, shows off an advanced level of dexterity not only in peeling the orange without direct tactile aid, but he also conjures a plate, nicely arranges the individual slices, adds a napkin and asks if you want something to drink with your snack. He is at once gracious and condescending, but everyone wins, you get a treat and he gets to show off and doesn't even get juice on his hands or the book he's reading.

Wyll won't even question it. If you walk up to him when he's doing absolutely anything at all and ask him to peek an orange, he will immediately remind you that he's a better person than you and that you should peel an orange for him---he will not do this directly, he will do it by a) being Wyllyam Ravenguard, and b) by looking pleased to see you and your orange and saying, "oh, we have oranges?" as he's already peeling said orange and licks a little juice off his thumb "that's quite nice---sweetest orange I ever had came from the grove of a family friend, same day I learned to play lance-board. We're so ready to be delighted by everything when we're young, aren't we?" And he's looking at you all sad and pensive, and you say "hold on" and leave to get another orange and now both of you are peeling and eating oranges and you've lost track of who's orange is whose, but you're laughing and chatting and it doesn't matter, you just had a nice talk with Wyll and somehow earned 20 points of approval for asking him for a favor.

Astarion would peel an orange for you because it's not hard and he's actually not nearly as much of a salty asshole as people think, it's just that he mirrors energy, so if Tav is going to sass him, he'll sass Tav back. I know it's tempting to choose the bitchy dialogue response when speaking to him, but there's also the consequences of your actions. So, you approach Astarion and ask him to peel an orange. You do it without being a bitch to him, presumably, because we all know how to put on our "asking a favor" voice, and he responds in kind. He sighs, says nothing, takes the fruit, pulls a dagger from seeming nowhere, and expertly quarters the orange, peeling each section of skin as far off as he can into the bushes. He offers you the knife to lick clean, promises he's like 90% sure it's free from the blood of his last kill. He takes a bite of one of the quarters and gives you the rest of the fruit to eat. You ask him if vampires eat normal food, he rolls his eyes and says "no" with a smirk. You spend the rest of your life wondering if he was being sarcastic or not.

Halsin initially doesn't have much of a reaction to your request beyond taking a split second to process, then he takes the orange and begins to peel it. He's deliberate, slow. Taking it in small pieces and you're sure you've seen him do this before and it didn't take so long, what's he doing? After about fifteen seconds of solid silence and too small flecks of orange skin piling up at his feet, he says, "I assume there's something more you wanted to ask me?" but you literally just came over here to ask help for this orange, didn't you? Oops, you've accidentally overshared some deep dark secret, but you know what, that's not a problem, you can generally trust Halsin with those for reasons that may or may not be related to content taken out of early access. He nods along, and you can tell he's fully focused on what you're saying now, because, acting unconsciously, he's much better at peeling the orange. He handles it gently, brushing off the dregs of the soft white interior of the skin, so that you end up with a perfect skinned but still totally intact orange, not a drop of juice escaped. He hands it to you while giving you some admittedly not very helpful advice, but you find you do actually feel better anyway to have unburdened yourself a little---and hey, now you have an orange to eat.

Minsc is probably not a good person to ask, but you did ask, and he was enthusiastic about taking on the task. He keeps getting distracted though, he's talking to you and to Boo the whole time, about what, I don't know and it doesn't matter. He's demonstrating more energy than you will have, ever again. He keeps accidentally breaking through the final soft layer of skin and squirting juice everywhere. Parts of the orange are getting mangled, but he's oblivious to it and having a great time, and you know what, so are you. Was this the best way to get your orange? Absolutely not. Was it the most entertaining? YMMV, but it was certainly unique to Minsc.

Shadowheart takes the orange from you and it almost seems as though a moment passes and she's still processing your question. "Could you peel this for me?" that's what you said. She blinks, looks at the orange, then looks back at you, demeanor changing, darkening, just a touch. She's not annoyed, not really, but she's suspicious. Is this a game? She likes games, but she likes to play them her way. "You didn't bring this over here for me? You just want me to peel it? Shall I also feed it to you a slice at a time and stroke your hair and fan the heat from the back of your neck?" she's being facetious, but also yes, yes you would like her to do all that. "No, it's ok," you manage to say, hating yourself. "I just need some help." She is at once relieved and a touch disappointed that this wasn't some game. You can tell she's thinking deeply about something as she wordlessly completes the task, somehow managing to remove the peel in one long spiraled strip without using a knife, just her hands. You want to ask what it is, but she inexplicably seems a little down. You tell her you only want half and then stay with her while the two of you eat the orange together.

Karlach is maybe the best person to peel the orange, but she doesn't know it. She's alarmed you asked. "You know I'm going to cook that thing, right?" She warns you, and you respond, "Yes. It will be delicious. Please scorch it." She thinks that's wild, but says she trusts you to know what you're about. Like Shadowheart, she also uses her nails, but it's much easier to see how efficient she is at spiraling the orange out of its slowly cooking skin, and the whole time she's excitedly reminiscing about some of the best meals she's had at her favorite places in Baldur's Gate. She's sad there's only one orange, and does in fact suggest that you peel some more, this time though, she wants you to do it too. "I'll cook them a little, and when the peel starts to get black, I give it to you to finish off, yeah?" But then she ends up doing all the work, having way too much fun with it, and also finding that yes, a slightly broiled orange is absolutely delicious. "We've got to do something with all of these---what about cake? Or wine! Do we have anything it could ferment inside of?!"

Lae'zel asks a lot of question first, "why?"/"Is this some sort of custom?"/"Am I meant to eat this as well?" and you try to answer rapidly "Hungry"/"Not really"/"You can have some if you like" her final question is "why are you asking me to do this? Is that really the best way to apply my particular skill set?" and the best response to this is to just say, "Please." She's annoyed, but she agrees and peels the orange, somehow without looking at it, and instead glaring at you the entire time. She hands you the freshly peeled fruit and demands, "go and eat." You'd better do as she asks, but definitely take a moment to look back as she tastes a bit of the juice on her fingers, looks furious with herself. Delicious, isn't it Lae'zel?

Minthara takes the orange and inexplicably rips the peel off in one fluid motion. You ask how she did that and she responds with a pitying glance that slides into a glare of disgust. "I imagine a surface dweller that cannot engage in simple hunting and gathering of the tame flora and fauna of topside could not hope to last long in the merciless wilds of the underdark. Do you ever dwell on that? On what fate would do with you, should your conveniences ever fail you? I think it would torment me day and night, to know so assuredly of my own weaknesses." You don't say anything to that, because what could you say? You look at the peeled orange in your hand, juice pooling in your palm and then back up at Minthara. "Do you want some?" and she answers "No" before you're even finished talking, but if you pass an insight check, you know she's lying. You go back to your own tent to eat the orange. It is poisoned.

Jahiera manages to peel the orange without pausing in whatever else she's doing, she also doesn't look up or hardly respond at all besides "here you go, cub," she's so practiced, you immediately recognize that she's done this 10000x. It is in her nature to peel oranges. She does it without thinking and often without remembering if there's something more important on her mind. She hasn't even considered not peeling an orange in centuries. There's always someone who needs an orange peeled, and she's perfect at it. You should leave her to what she was doing and eat your orange on the way back to your tent. An hour later, tell her "thank you for peeling my orange" she will say "you're welcome," but you can tell she has no idea what you're talking about.

[crowandmousewritingco]

If You're Reading This

Pairing: Joel Miller x nb!reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Rating: PG-13, there's no spice. It's all angst bay-beeeeeee

Summary: You met Joel while out on a 'hunting run', you startle him and in return he almost shoots you. After everything settles the two of you get to talking and decide to stay in contact one of the only ways, via letters. Over the time writing each other, you grow feelings for him, and learn things about yourself that you don't know how he'll handle. Telling him, he goes silent, but you refuse to give up hope. Will your hope be enough to keep you going?

Author: Mod Crow (Got a new job so life has been ahhhhh)

Author's Note: The reader says their age. This was for @burntheedges' Roll-A-Trope! I was very back and forth on how I wanted this to play out, in the end I'm pretty happy with it.

Masterlist

Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide, and mentions of raiders and guns.

Dear Joel,

Thanks for not shooting me today, I wasn’t even in my best attire to die. I’m kidding. Not about the not shooting me thing. 

It was nice really meeting someone who didn’t want to kill me or rob me. It was also nice having the help dragging a deer all the way back to this place. I only hope my butchering and fileting skills aren’t getting rusty. But hey, if they are, you said something about you showing me “the way it’s done in the big beauty of Texas” or however you worded it. I know you aren’t here, but I need you to know that I’m currently laughing. I made myself laugh. Gods, I’m losing it aren’t I?

 Anyways, I should probably start cooking myself something to eat before the sun goes down. If you ever head this way and stop at this place, you should leave me a little letter or something. Obviously, I left this one for you in an obvious spot -and that’s what you should do as well- then after that we can start putting them in more well-hidden places, we can’t have someone finding them before we have a chance to. But that’s for the next letter.

-Y.F.

P.S. Y.F. means your favorite, I know what I am, you don’t have to tell me.

Hey Smartass,

Now that I like the sound of. Oh, and drop the formality, I’m not your pen pal or some shit like that. Ellie wanted me to tell you that “if you try to replace her as my favorite, she will stab you”. I don’t pick favorites. Just so you know. I haven’t had a favorite person in a while now…

God let’s stop talking about the sad shit anymore. I saw a baby squirrel on the porch as I was walking up. I thought maybe he had lost his mama or daddy; I’m thinking that’s what he also thought because when one of his -what I can only assume- parents came back they had scared that poor little thing so bad that he damn near jumped three feet high. I was kind of wishing you could have seen it, I remember you telling me how much you loved nature and all that stuff. Don’t read into that.

Anyways, I don’t know what it’s like heading up from the southwest, but Ellie and I ran into more raiders than we normally do. I don’t know why there’s more, but I’m not liking how things are looking.  

I left you some ammo and rations hidden in the fireplace. Ellie left you something, she wouldn’t tell me, besides that it was hidden in the bathroom. That’s all she told me, so I’m guessing that means good luck. 

-Joel 

I’m not calling you my favorite, I don’t have a favorite between you two nuisances 

Dear party-pooper,

Yes, that’s what I’m calling you from now on, you fucking party-pooper. ANYWAYS, I found your stash, thanks. The ammo was a life saver…literally…the rations could have at least been a good one. You left me some beef jerky (the only good thing in that damn ration), some stale ass cracker, and some unidentifiable fruit-like substance. 

The raiders though, they’ve actually been better. Based on my guess, I think they might have migrated up your way. If you think it’s getting too bad for a bit, I get that, don’t feel pressured to write me back whenever you’re here next. 

On a lighter note, Ellie hid a book that she’d think I’d like. So far, her shot in the dark has struck bull’s-eye. Tell her I said thank you. As for where she hid it -you’re gonna love this- she pulled the medicine cabinet off the upstairs bathroom’s wall, knocked out a small bit of drywall, and hid it in the wall before replacing the cabinet. It took me far longer than it should have, but who the fuck would look behind the cabinet on the wall? The cabinet, mind you, looked like it had never been pulled off the wall. Fuck, I really gotta give her credit for how creative she is with hiding places. You should take notes. Your hiding spots in the past have been…kinda in plain sight. Love you old man, but you suck at hiding. Expect, I give you credit to this last drop, up the chimney fluke. Maybe you still have it in you after all, old man.

Anyways…I left some things for you in the door of the fridge. It’s not much this time, things have been rough at this place. We let in this new couple, and they’ve been super suspicious. The first night they were here, the woman -Gabrielle- was found snooping around in the owner of the farm’s wife’s dresser. Gabrielle couldn’t give us a straight answer as to why she was snooping. That wasn’t even the weirdest bit, that same night the man -Kenneth- was snooping around in ALL of our shit. I woke up at gods only know, probably 3 or 4 in the morning. I didn’t think he got any of shit. I didn’t look though, and that’s on me. He got away with most of the things I was going to give you, what he didn’t take is hidden for you. I left Ellie some magazines I found about alternative bands from before the pandemic. I don’t even know if she knows what alternative music is, gods you probably don’t know what alternative music is. I’ll explain that to you in person one of these days. 

-Your favorite nuisance 

You fucking child, 

You and Ellie act like the exact same person sometimes I swear. Sometimes I feel like it’s just Ellie leaving me these notes. 

Forget all that, you said that the ammo I stashed for you came in handy? What happened? Are you okay? Were you injured? What happened to the other guy? That’s something I would have paid to see. If half of what the shit you’ve said in the past were true, then you’re a pretty good aim. 

What you left me enough, the granola was honestly a god sent. You have no idea how boring coffee was getting. Ellie also said -and I quote- “Hell yeah these bitches look sick.” I have no idea where she’s heard that, because it sure as hell wasn’t me. 

Backtracking -kind of- I know we’ve talked raiders, how have those fucking clickers been? I think because of that “migration” or whatever the hell you called it, they’ve been out there killing those fuckers while they snuck through the shadows. Our raider problem went up, but the clicker problem. It’s been too quiet recently. But following that thought, your raider problem went down, so that means your clicker problem got worse. Didn’t it? Fuck… You’re a pain in my ass, but I like this banter I get to have. You should come with Ellie and I back to our little place. It isn’t much, but Ellie’s been complaining that where we are isn’t “comfortable”. I swear she says what she says just to test my patience. But, yeah, Ellie would love it. She’d never shut up and it wouldn’t be me for once. Just give us the when and we’ll meet you here.

-Joel M.

Hey grumpy,

I think I like this nickname the best so far. I do swear one thing to you grumps, I am 100% NOT Ellie. I’m your…something. I’ve been kinda held up in my room at the farm this past week. I’ve been thinking about some things after the raiders. That’s not something I lied about; I am a pretty good shot. So was the leader of the little gang. He was 100% aiming for my head, I’m only alive because I got lucky. He drew his gun quicker than I did, he aimed quicker than I could, and he pulled that fucking trigger before I could…His gun jammed. It took me a minute to even register that I was still alive. When I realized though, gods, was I ready. Almost dying makes you really think about how you want to be remembered by people. 

I don’t even know if what I’m thinking would make sense to you. Ellie might, but all she’s ever known is…well whatever it is she grew up knowing. These are things that I haven’t thought about since…fuck, well before the outbreak. Bare with me as I try to figure out to explain this in writing that isn’t going to be a fucking novel. 

Actually, before I do that, I want to get this out there first. if you aren’t sure you want to be a part of this emotional blah, I got lucky. Ken left his bag open in Gabrielle’s room right next to her bag in her room! What’s even better? Neither of them were anywhere near the bags, Gabrielle was helping with dinner and Ken was helping with fence repair. I left you just under half of the ammo they had -hey, gotta keep myself safe- and Ken’s utility hatchet like thing (you’ll see what I mean). I also snatched you some more granola. I have no idea how this old couple is doing it, but they have so many oats. They also have a fucking bee house! You know what that means? Fresh honey! And just for you grumps, I snatched a mason jar for the two of you. Honey’s also good for a sore throat. I know it’s getting cold out there. I’ve actually been knitting (I know, I must be lying about my age. I’m not, I swear. I learned how to knit because of my grandma. When I was probably six or seven, I made a huge deal out of wanting to learn to do what my grandma was doing. So, she taught me. After the outbreak, I needed something to do with my hands, otherwise things…things would be incredibly different right now. Gods, sorry about the ramble.) some scarves for the two of you. You have no idea how much yarn got left behind in the stores. If after you read this, you decide you still want me to go with you I will. We can do it the weekend after next. Next week is my birthday and Marieann and George (the old couple of the farm) told me that it was “my day to relax and rest up after the hard year.” Who am I to go against what a sweet old lady tells me to do? That being said, I don’t like not knowing what’s going on and how the two of you are doing. At this point, what’s even the point of keeping track of birthdays anymore? Like, “Yay I lived another horrid year on this dying hunk of space rock, can’t wait to suffer through another one! Anyways, I'm sneaking out past curfew to leave you a note if the plan has changed. Anywho…I found more magazines for Ellie. I’ve hid them in the pantry. She’s smart. Your is hidden in the basement behind that dresser, it’s the same idea as what the kid did in the upstairs bathroom cabinet.

Back to the emotional blah…If anything I write doesn’t make sense, you can try asking Ellie. She may know. Gods, I thought it would be easier to write this out, not having to see your weathered (ignore that) expression change. To what? I don’t know. Anything? Fuck it…Joel when we meet, I thought I had figured myself out. When I met you, I was sure I was a woman. I don’t think that I am…I’m not a man either though. I’m neither? I don’t know how to explain this. Okay, so I was she/her when we met, you were -and still are- he/him. Well, if I’m neither of them I have to have a way to refer to myself, right? I do, instead of she or he, I’m…them. Or they! Well, it’s more like both, they/them. Gods I’m shaking so bad right now haha, I’m just really scared of losing you two…You two have been the first good thing since this shitstorm started. I know I can’t make you write me back, but I can ask you to at least leave me something saying you’ll either come back and write a new note or some kind of…I don’t know sign? That doesn’t feel like the right word, but note isn’t the word I want to use…I don’t know Joel, just please leave something. I don’t care how long it takes; I’ll keep coming back till I get another note from you. Even if that means I die doing this because you chose to leave, and I wouldn’t hate you for it. 

That’s all I’ve to say. I really do…like you Joel, when thinking, remember I am the person from all of those letters and the few times we met.

-Your Raven no    Magpie also no Crow now that’s one I like

Joel, 

Hey, I came back this weekend, I’m 26 now! Yay! I’m not going to lie; I’m terrified right now. The clickers are getting worse around the farm, they aren’t too bad on the way here yet, but I know they will be.

I checked to see if you took the stuff, and you did. I saw that Ellie left me a comic book and a band shirt from one of those mags I gave her. I can’t believe she was able to find one, let alone one in my size. I also saw that you left me some ammo and another ration. I know it isn’t much, but it’s something. It gives me hope, and that’s all most of us have nowadays. Along with that hope, I also hope that you'll come back again. If that’s the case, I’ve left you both some things, same places as last. 

Joel, for you, more granola (enough for the both of you), a scarf for you, some peach preserves (Marieann opened up some preserves she had made to be opened about this time), and some bread I baked. I warn the bread isn’t pretty, but with the chill, it should last a bit longer.

For Ellie, her scarf, a couple of mangas I found (this will be fun to hear how that goes), a Swiss army knife I found on a dead raider (I know it’s gruesome, but it’s the world we live in now), and a slightly used deck of cards. I felt like she could find a way to entertain herself why you do whatever it is you do when you want to be alone.

-Your hope filled Crow

Hey again,

You took the things again, and you left some more for me. It’s still something. No matter how little. It just hit me, these letters are going to be getting shorter and shorter until I hear from you huh?

Should I even keep writing to you? Maybe don’t answer that. Or do. You take all the time you need. I’m leaving you guys some more things, the same place as before.

-Your Crow

Hey, 

I’m sorry about how long it took, I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand at all, and it freaked me out a bit. I asked Ellie if she they understood it and they did. They also came to realize that about themselves too. No, I don't fully understand it, but I’m willing to learn.

Thanks for the scarves, they’ve really helped with the chill at night. Ellie was so intrigued by that one that I’m guessing was the manga. I have no idea if they figured it out, but they’re having a blast trying. 

The clickers have been a bit more active around us too. I wonder where they’re all coming from though. 

Ellie and I are ready to head out, just tell us when. We’ve gathered all we could, the rest of the stuff we’re leaving is replaceable. Thanks to your scarf we’ve managed to carry a bit more stuff, not the way you meant for them to be used but they’re multifaceted. 

I don’t know if Ellie has anything to leave, but I’m assuming it’s in the bathroom. I don’t have much to leave, I found some yarn. I just happened upon it when looting some cars on the main road. I also found a broken bow. I don’t know if you can fix it, but maybe that old man, George(?) could fix it, or maybe someone else in the house. They’re in the basement, it’s the only place they’d fit. 

I want to help you keep that hope alive. I have one of my own, I hope we can get somewhere warm and safe together.

Joel, with…

Holy fuck,

Joel, you came back?! Thank you fuck…thank you. If you could see me, I am a mess right now. Gods you’d get a kick. 

I wasn’t able to fix the bow, but George was! I guess he used to bow hunt back in the day. He said it may take him a bit; he has to dig out his tools. I’ll leave a letter the night before with an update. If you find a letter then there’s kink in the plans, if you don’t find a letter then it’s because I was there waiting, or I died. Or some other third thing, I like being dramatic sometimes. 

With this plan may be happening, I’m not leaving much. This time it’s a kindle of firewood. Dry firewood hidden in the sugar in a mason jar. I remember you saying you drank coffee, and you were growing tired of the taste. So have some sugar, make it sweeter. Maybe add honey too. 

-Your Crow

Dear Joel,

I know you hate the formality of these kinds of letters, but for once, just let it be. See the thing is I’m writing this as a “worst case scenario” kinda thing… I started writing about an hour ago for me, gods only know how long it’s been for you. To put in perspective the time difference, I’m writing this the same day I read your letter you had left, the letter about the plans about me coming with the two of you to find somewhere else. 

I don’t know what has happened to me to force my hand in leaving this letter, but if I had to take a shot in the dark, I’ve probably been shot by other survivors. I’ve been bitten. If I remember, I’ll try to come back and write what really happened. Anyways, I know we had a plan, I also know that you’re a strong man. You don’t need me; I would have just slowed you down. So now you have to promise me you’ll keep that kid safe. Oh, and if you happen to find yourself in Omaha -I know we’re several hundred miles away, but you never know- stop by 1004 Cicada drive. It’s where I was living when all of the shit hit the fan. Now, I won’t be there to give you the tour, so you better not go tracking mud or anything inside. 

Look, there are some things in that house that I think could be beneficial to you, I know you’ll find what you need. I have some things out in the garage, there’s some other things in the attic, and then there’s some things down in the basement’s crawl space. Now, it’s going to be dusty and dirty down there, but back before all of this, it was a beautiful basement. I had just finished painting it that beautiful blue color that has since been destroyed by some fucking raiders. Fuck, look at me gushing over my old basement. I must really sound like some weird fucker, huh? 

Anyways, if I’m dead and that’s why you’re reading this, I just wanted to tell you some things…Where do I even start? I guess I’ll start light, that’s what you do right? I don’t know why I keep asking questions, I don’t know your answers to them. Gods do I wish I did know your answers, writing this with the unknown has been killing me. If you could see me right now, you’d have a pretty good laugh, I’m shaking like the last fall leaf in a big dying tree in the middle of a tornado. Fuck, I’m rambling…Look I’m really happy we ran into each other when we did, that day you almost shot me in the forest -behind this decrepit house- I lied to you. You asked me why I was out there, I told you I was looking for some animals to catch. I wasn’t…I couldn’t take any more of this bullshit. So, I was gonna beat the zombies to my death, and I wasn’t giving them the satisfaction of bringing me back to be some brainless creature monster. I was going to paint a bit of the forest with gray matter. When you insisted on helping me because you also needed food, I was honestly kinda pissed. But now? Now I’m happy you stuck around. Joel, I don’t wanna make you feel any type of way but…You are the only reason I’m still here on this shithole of a planet. Also…you sticking around had affected me in ways I wasn’t expecting…Joel thanks to you Joel, spending all of that time with you, getting to actually know you, exchanging stories, all of that shit. All of that meant means far more than you could understand, and in that time, I grew to fell in love with you Joel. 

I should have told you in person not through a piece of paper. I know there isn’t much I can say now…. but I am sorry. I wish I could have told you in person, I really do, I wish I could have heard your lips say it back. I can only imagine how your raspy, yet honeysuckle sweet voice would say those three words “I. Love. You.” Gods the thought of it…

Anyways, if I keep going, I might accidently write you a book. For whatever reason it is that made me tell you where to find this, I’m happy I got to meet you when I did. Make sure to tell Ellie I said hi. You make sure you keep that girl safe or so Gods help you, Joel Miller. 

-Your Crow, with love

P.S. Joel I don’t know how much longer I have till I turn, but I just wanted to say before I die, I love you Joel, tell Ellie I love her too. I left you my remaining ammo and handgun. I left Ellie my lucky bullet casing -we both know she’ll love it- and my bracelet, the one with that little metal rabbit foot charm. You have no idea how excited I was to leave that lonely farm. I would finally be with people I cared about and who cared about me. Like who actually cared about me. 

I had a weird feeling that this is how things would go, so I planned. I know I’m leaving you my handgun and ammo. The handgun only has one bullet right now. You can fill it the rest of the way and leave, or you can do what I was too scared to do in the end…Kill me. Right now, I’m in the kitchen writing this. I don’t feel good, I feel like someone beat me with a lead pipe. My head is throbbing, and I can’t tell if I’m sweating because I’m hot with a fever, or if because of a cold chill. 

I thought I’d have a bit of time, you know, write you some more, pour my heart out on paper for you, but I don’t. It wasn’t a deep bite, but it was a bite, nonetheless. I tried to sneak past this clicker, I was doing so well until I lost my balance and stumbled, twisting my ankle. I didn’t try to fight it, I thought I’d have better luck running back here. I didn’t…  

I love you Joel, I really really ….

*Joel’s POV*

Your writing at the end was practically ineligible, trailed off almost. Joel wasn’t quite sure, what he was sure of, was the feeling of his heart break. An all too familiar break, one he hadn’t felt since Sarah’s mom…

Joel quickly and silently tore his path through the house, he was certain that you were playing some kind of sick cruel joke. 

“Joel. Joel! Come on man,” Joel could hear Ellie, but for some reason his legs wouldn’t stop. He had to prove Ellie wrong, that’s why. Yeah, that makes sense. “Joel, Jesus fucking Christ. STOP!” Hearing Ellie’s loud voice had pulled him to a halt. 

“Joel, I know you loved them man, I did too. I don’t know what hell-bent path you’re on, but you aren’t going to find them okay. I know,” Joel looked to Ellie, his unfocused eyes taking a moment. When his eyes finally focused, he could see it, he could see the tears that were pouring from Ellie’s face. That’s when he realized he too was crying. “I looked for them after I found their rabbit’s foot bracelet. I think they’re in the basement, the door is locked or jammed. I can’t get it open.” Joel swallowed the pained howls that wanted to rip through his tired body. Clearing his throat, Joel quickly wiped his face on his jacket sleeve. 

“You stay up here; I’ll get it figured out. No matter what, I don’t care if you're curious or something else, don’t under any circumstances come down there am I clear?” Joel clenched his jaw, he needed something to focus on something, so why not something he can do. 

Ellie never responded verbally, but Joel saw the stiff nod. Turning from Ellie Joel tried to make quick work of finding the things you left. It took him far less time than he expected. Joel also found a key; one he could only assume you left. It wasn’t particularly noteworthy or showy, but if he had to guess, it would unlock that basement door. Was that even something he wanted to do? Kill you? Or rather, kill the already dead you? 

Heading back to the dining room, Joel looked at the things he had found in the house. The one catching his attention first? Your handgun. The one with only one bullet loaded in it. Picking up the gun, Joel examined it in his hand, the handle was worn, faint groves noticeable to the touch. The metal on it had definitely seen better days, days when the metal was clean and before it was used in all of this shit. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat down, Joel took the key -along with the gun- to the basement door. Standing there, Joel simply stared at the handle. God only knows how long he stood there, but hearing Ellie walk into the dining room, pulled him back to the doorknob in hand. Gripping the gun tighter, Joel carefully put the key into the knob. Giving it a trying twist, Joel felt it resist for a second, before a soft ‘click’ could be heard. Gripping the knob, Joel twisted it slowly and carefully pulled the door open. There wasn’t a single sound coming from the basement, maybe you had found a way to do this. Something he was now dreading. Readying the gun, Joel carefully made his way down the stairs, trying to be as light as possible on his feet. 

Once his feet hit the basement floor, Joel clicked on his flashlight. The basement wasn’t huge by any means, but it did have a smaller room off the back wall. Walking towards the doorway, Joel practically held his breath to listen for the all too well known cl-

The sound of clicking slowly filling the air as he grew closer. The sound put him to a stop. Can he really do this? Yes, because you shouldn’t have to be one of them. Clenching his jaw Joel continued on. 

In the doorway, Joel could barely make out the shadow of you, or at least what used to be you. It was kind of hard to tell for certain where the bite was for certain, but it seemed as if it was your shoulder. As he stood there, Joel was silent, he wanted to remember what you were like, this wasn’t you and he knew that. You were gone by now, long gone and he knew that. Raising the gun, Joel closed his eyes for a moment. Opening his eyes, Joel cocked the handgun, the click of the hammer grabbing your attention. Staring at what used to be your face, Joel could feel the tears run down his face. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t quicker my Crow.” His last word punched through the silence, with the loud echo of a spent shell.

'''''''

The divider was made by the beautiful @mikeykuns

All Works Taglist

@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose

Pedro Character Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges

@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal

@morallyinept @lady-bess

@pedrostories @rivnedell

@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing

[eevee-genshin-blog]

How’d This Happen?!

A/n: First Post! Please enjoy! This was inspired by @idkfitememate Boar!Creator!

I was floating... it’s dark? What..?

I was just playing Genshin Impact... Where am I now..? It’s getting cold... Huh... What’s that light? When you first woke up, you didn’t understand what was happening. But you got isekai’d into Genshin Impact, as a cat. 

You mostly looked like Luna from Sailor Moon... but your eyes. They were like a normal cat’s, but golden, and your pupils looked like Primogems. 

Great... You thought annoyed, you’ve read stories, some get cool powers, others get their phones... but you got a Cat! How unfair, but you choose to feel thankful, you didn’t know if their was anything to this place yet... 

They could have killed you for being an ‘ImPoStOr,’ you mentally mock the name... But you started to wonder and ended up cutting yourself.

Not gold blood. Not stary blood. Or pink blood. It looked like the Galaxy, the drops that lost contact with your skin floated up to the sky...

So... You were a god? How does that work? You were stuck in the form of a cat... So confusing... But you decided to wander around and learn.

=================================================

In the few weeks you’ve been here, you’ve found out the following.

One, the true “Impostor,” had descended here long ago.

Two, they weren’t an animal.

Three, you did, in fact, have a human form, but felines are your ‘Symbolic Animals,’ odd, but you’ve always been a cat person. (You did figure out how to turn back into human, but you didn’t have clothes and turned right back into a cat.)

Four, you can control the different elements; So you decided to be chaotic and make a cat friendly base in the trees and ground so no one would find you.

Five, the mobs didn’t attack you.

So far, when someone’s seen you, you’d bolt. But now, you have a proper escape plan! So, you started working. Of course, you struggled, after all, you weren’t exactly used to being a cat yet, or using the elemental powers. But you managed. 

Thankfully, Tevyat helped you, making sure you found fresh and clean water; giving you cat-friendly fruits to eat, or letting you catch big fishes; making sure the waters were calm if you tried swimming; and the winds gently blew you dry after.

But after a few months, you made a very small cave system for cats, or bunnies now that you think of the size, to travel through. You didn’t fully understand Dendro enough to make a tree base.

More time passed, as you lived as a cat. You didn’t care to keep up a ‘good appearance,’ why should you? You’re a cat in the forests near Mondstadt, staying alive was more important for you.

Time actually was passing so fast because you were so used to your world’s time. So, you didn’t really eat or sleep like the others here. So before you could process, a year had gone by... 

You spend that time playing; chasing seelies, napping with slimes, and visiting some Melusines in Fontaine (Them not telling anyone your the Creator). Letting the hilichurls braid your now fluffy and long fur. 

And you were getting homesick; yes, you were having fun... But you missed your parents, your older brother, your friends... Hell! You missed school, as crazy as it sounds...

No one here called you by your name... No one looked at you... No one thought anything of you now... But it was your face and name being taken by that person... 

You shake yourself out of your thoughts, angrily... You didn’t like this as much as you thought you did... You enjoyed being free and not being hunted down... but you wanted to talk to people...

But you joined your favorite Hilichurl Camp, joining in with the fire dance. You were invested into the dance as you breathed Fireballs, of different shapes, into the night sky; Thankfully, not harming any trees, or wildlife.

But, barely missed the boy who was acting like a wolf-... Wait!?

Thanks for reading!! Sorry for my first post being so short, but updates will be slow... Once again, this was inspired by @idkfitememate please check them out!

[xxchaosjojoxx]

I want you to see me [1/5] (Penguin x reader)

After the events on Whole Cake Island,  you rejoined your Crew, the Heart Pirates, with the strawhats. You never interacted with Shachi, Penguin and the rest of your crew due to your shy personality. Suddenly you can interact with them without any problems and are really close to Sanji on top of it. Even so, Penguin isn’t quite fond of you, seeing you and Sanji flirting with each other makes him a little jealous.

A/N: Welcome to my first mini serie. I hope you will like it <3 There is a hint of Sanji x reader

Chapter 1: Wano Kuni, here I come.

“No, you won’t be doing this! Law said angrily. You gulped and looked him in the eyes. “But Captain. I wanna help as well.” - “Then join Bepo, Shachi and Penguin.” Law was totally annoyed. You were with the strawhats on Whole cake Island to help them save Sanji, despite the fact that you were a member of the Heart Pirates. Captain Law wasn’t happy with your decision, but he trusted you enough to let you go for this mission. Now you and the rest of Luffy's crew are on Wano and reunite with the other members as well. As the other strawhats received their undercover role in Wano Kuni you wanted one as well and had an idea, but your captain wasn’t very happy about it. “I want to be more useful for once. Please, I beg you, captain.” Law was getting more furious. “You won’t be a prostitute here, are you nuts?!” He couldn’t control his voice. Normally you would tremble, avoiding your gaze. But you learned a lot from the strawhats while you were on WCI and didn’t look away. ���I won’t be doing this kinda stuff I promise. But this Kyoshiro guy is suspicious. I am sure I can gain helpful information from either him or Komurasaki. Maybe I can work as a geisha or whatever by his side.” Law sighed heavily. “This is way too risky. You know that. If you wanna be active, you can join blackleg-ya and help him with his soba noodle shop. You can cook as well.” Law was staring at me with an unamused expression. Your face lit up. “Ok. I won’t disappoint you. Thank you captain.” And with that and the help of Kinemons devil fruit you were ready for your first mission.

A few days later~

“There is nothing going around lately.” Shachi sighed while he watched the area with binoculars. Shachi, Penguin and Bepo's daily routine was observing and  delivering Kinemon’s secret message to his allies. Bepo stood up and was on his way towards the city. “Where are you going, Bepo?” The mink turned around, looking at his two crewmates. “I will go see Sangoro and Y/N to share our newest information. “Oh right. Y/N is back. I didn’t see her after she left Zou.” Penguin said while Shachi nodded his head. “Yeah I wonder why she even joined the strawhats or why the captain allowed it.” Penguin hummed. “We should accompany you. I could use something to eat.” And with that the three of them were on their way to the city.

While they arrived in the city they could see Sanji’s soba noodle shop on the streets and with that a large crowd of customers. “Woah, his business is insane.” “Their noodles are absolutely delicious” Bepo said and was on his way towards the shop. “Hey Shachi look. There are so many beautiful women there.” Penguin was in paradise. A small blush on his face. Shachi shook Penguin’s shoulder. “Dude look at this girl in this cute (f/c) kimono. She looks like a princess. Their cook is such a lucky bastard to have so many women gathering around him.”

While they were fangirling about all those women, Bepo sat down on a near bench, receiving a bowl of noodles from said girl. Shachi and Penguin rushed to his side while Bepo was enjoying his soba noodles. “Bepo what are you doing?! I thought you wanted to share information.” The mink looked at them sheepily. “My apologies. But I was so hungry.” Before Shachi and Penguin could say anything else, the girl with the (f/c) kimono joined them. “Hey guys, wanna have a bowl of our soba noodles as well?” She asked and smiled at them. Both men jumped in surprise, smiling like idiots and nodding their heads, while sitting on the bench beside Bepo. After a few moments, she joined them with two bowls of hot soba noodles. “Enjoy your meal.” Shachi and Penguin were in heaven. This girl was way too cute for their own heart. “Can I have another bowl please?” Bepo asked shyly and the woman was holding his empty bowl in her hand. “Of course Bepo.” She said happily and again gave him a big smile. Bepo replied with a smile as well. “Thank you Y/N. Those noodles are the best. I missed your cooking.” Penguin and Shachi choked on their food and coughed, nearly dying from this. “Oh no, I forgot the water.” You said and were fast to bring both of them a glass of water. After they drank a big gulp of water they were staring at you. “W-Wait…Y/N?!” Penguin asked surprise. Shachi was still coughing while he tried to get a good look at you. “You are Y/N? What happened?” You tilted your head. “You mean on Whole cake island? That’s a long story. Maybe I should tell you this later.” “No!” Shachi shouted at you and you shrieked in surprise. “I meant what happened to you. You were always sitting alone in the corner, without even talking or looking at us. You were a plain and inconspicuous person. How the hell are you so different right now? Why do you chat with us like we were good friends?” You were pouting and felt anger rising in your chest. Before you could answer Shachi, Sanji came by your side leaning an arm around your shoulder. “Y/N-chan, is everything all right?” Sanji asked you while his gaze was on your crewmates. The blonde looked pretty pissed. “Yes Sanj- eh I mean Sangoro. Shachi is just being a bit rude right now.” You calmly said. Shachi was shocked while Penguin couldn’t even say anything at all. He was just staring at you. “Mi amore, if they don’t wanna be around your beautiful presence I will. Will you join me again?” Sanji said with a smile on his lips, as he turned his head so he could look at you. He clearly had heart eyes right now. You met his eyes and chuckled. ”Ok there, handsome. We have a lot of work to do today. Go ahead. I will join you shortly." Sanji nodded and went back towards his little shop. “You can flirt? Are you even the same Y/N we know? Our crewmate?” Shachi was still on and you turned towards him. Your smile was gone. “Of course I am. You just don’t know me, otherwise you wouldn’t say something like that.” “What are you saying? You ignore us all the time by sitting alone in the corner and reading a book without joining us for any fun occasions.”  Penguin stood up looking between the both of you. “Stop it guys.” You both gazed at each other. “I had my reasons for it.” 

”Only because you decide to dress up and be friends with the strawhats doesn’t mean you can trashtalk us right now.” Penguin was touching Shachi’s shoulder. “Shachi, stop there for a second.” But they both ignored Penguin. “HEY!” You heard a loud yell. Sanji was on his way towards you with an angry look on his face. “Can you stop screaming for once? And don’t you dare talk to Y/N-chan like that.” Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed your hand with a ‘Come on, my dear’ and dragged you away from Bepo, Shachi and Penguin. “Now I know why she is like that. They both have the same attitude.” Shachi growled. Bepo tried to calm Shachi down. Penguin was looking at you and Sanji. You were so different back there. He kinda liked you smiling at them earlier and being friendly towards them. You were never interested in your crewmates except for Captain Law, Ikkaku and Bepo. Never ever talking or interacting with him or Shachi. Seeing you like this, talking to them without any problems, he felt unsure and a sting in his heart. He wished you were able to interact more often with him and the rest of the crew in the beginning. After time passed he figured out that you dislike them, so Shachi and Penguin weren’t too keen when it comes to you as well. Penguin was looking at you. You were working and smiling at the blonde chef. Penguin gritted his teeth when he saw Sanji’s hand was on your body, guiding you with something. “This dude is touching her all the time without any problems.” Penguin said, while Shachi and Bepo looked at him confused. “What does it matter? She clearly enjoys his attention. We should go back to our spot right now.” Shachi said and the three of them returned back to the top of the nearby mountain.

After your work for the day was done, you and Sangoro cleaned everything up. “Those two are idiots.” Sanji said. He was still a little furious about the situation earlier. “They were right tho. I did reject every offer to get along with them…I even ignored Shachi and Penguin the whole time.” Sanji interrupted you. “But you had your reasons.” You sighed. “Yeah but they don’t know them. It’s ok Sanji. I will apologize to them the next time I see them. I was pretty rude back there as well.”You silently stood beside him. “Maybe you should join us Y/N-chan. I’m sure Luffy wouldn’t be against it.” “I can’t, Sanji.” Sanji sighed and lit up a cigarette. He blew some smoke before turning towards you. “I know you are loyal to your captain and he appreciates you and your skills. You looked at him sadly. “Do you really think so?” He grinned at you.”Of course Y/N-chan. Otherwise he wouldn’t have let you go to Whole Cake Island to rescue me. Say, why are you interested in this douchebag anyway?” Your face turned red. “S-Sanji…! Don’t be so loud. I..-I guess he doesn’t remember anymore but when they docked on my island, he was the first of the crew I met. He was so thoughtful and sweet back there. I couldn’t help myself.”

[rambosgirl]

Sheriff's Daughter Pt.2

If you haven't read part 1, it's right here

Chapter 3 here

The pair had been walking for some time, eventually making it to the main road that lead into town, talking and learning about each other as they went.

Rambo learned that you lived with your parents in the town they were walking to, called Hope, and you frequently visited the less fortunate where they just were. He thought that was sweet.

You learned that the man beside you wasn't the most talkative person, but he did tell you a bit about himself when you asked. His name was John, John Rambo, a war veteran from Vietnam. He was here to try and meet up with a fellow soldier, Delmar he said, but it turned out he had passed away from cancer.

You had already known that from helping his wife, you just didn't know he was so close to him.

"I'm so sorry to hear that John." Your heart sank for him.

"Thank you, I just don't know where to go next."

"You can stay in Hope, I can help you," you started, "If I told my father about you I'm sure he'd help you too." You spoke enthusiastically, something John thought to be cute, but more realistically, it was probably just wishful thinking.

"Your enthusiasm is...refreshing," he started, "but not everyone is as kind as you are."

The two of you continued walking in silence for a while. It wasn't awkward like one would think. It was actually quite peaceful. You were able to walk in the company of one another while taking in the late autumn beauty that surrounded you, the occasional car passing you by. After more time had passed, you broke the silence.

"Hey John?"

"Yeah," came his reply.

"I have to turn soon to get home, kind of a back way into the neighborhood..." you paused, "I have to take care of my horse, but I'm going into town after, so maybe I'll see you there?" The truth was, you really wanted to see him again, you just didn't want to say it out loud.

John seemed to like that idea, or so you thought. He was a little harder to read to you, so you weren't sure.

The truth for him was, he really did like that idea, and he was about to bring it up. He didn't normally like spending time with others, but you? You made it easy.

"Yeah, I'll probably be getting some food if I can."

You assumed that was his way of inviting you to join him.

"That's a good thing you're hungry, I know the perfect place. I'll try to be quick so you don't get too bored," you said, giving him a bright smile.

"The perfect place, huh?" A small chuckle escaped him. "Yeah, I can do that."

You slowed your pace, eventually stopping so you could make your turn. You pointed ahead of you.

"See the bend in the road? Just beyond that is Hope. Just turn right. I'll meet you in front of the police station on the main road and then we can go eat together."

"Got it," he said, looking over at that bridge. He turned to look at you. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure." You looked at him a moment longer before continuing. "I'll see you in a bit."

He nodded but kept his eyes on the road for a bit to make sure you were safe starting down your path before continuing on his own.

You got home fairly quick, not wanting John to wait too long without you. As you passed the pasture in your backyard, you saw your buckskin gelding, Bullet, happily munching on the rest of his breakfast alfalfa.

"Did dad feed you this morning?" you asked him. He just kept eating in response.

When you walked into the house, you noticed your father had already left for work. You wanted to do something nice for him for feeding Bullet, so you went outside to your small fruit trees and grabbed the fruit to bring to the police station. You quickly changed into a warmer outfit, since it was getting colder than you thought and you wanted to take Bullet into town.

'If I take Bullet, I can get to the police station faster and meet John,' you thought as you made your way out of the house and headed to your small barn to grab your steed.

You and Bullet made it to the main street, the police station in sight. You tied his lead rope to a post nearby and walked in with the fruit basket, automatically hearing a chorus of greetings from the officers there. You knew all of them from visiting so often for your dad, and often some would flirt with you. You tried to ignore it most of the time since to you, the only genuinely nice officer was Mitch, a younger redhead deputy.

"Hey, where's my dad?" you asked a group of officers.

"He went out in his car a while ago. Should be back soon," Mitch said walking closer to you. You offered him a small smile before opening your mouth to respond.

"Oh alright. I'll just -- "

"What have you got there little lady?" You turned to see Arthur Galt there, trying to see in your basket.

"It's just fruit, Arthur", you started, looking at him sternly. "and it's for my dad."

You were starting to stress out a bit. John was probably out there waiting for you while you were inside. You had to hurry this up.

"Well, Dad could be a while so I'll just leave these here for him. And don't eat all of them before he gets here please?" You asked, looking at Arthur and Mitch before beginning your journey toward the front doors.

It turned out you didn't have to wait for your dad much longer, as you saw him walking up from outside. The only problem was that John was with him. In handcuffs.

@akitasblogs @dumbasssimp Here it is! So sorry this took so long for part 2! My motivation is back so hopefully it stays long enough for me to get another part out

[arlana-likes-to-write]

For the sisters serie, how would it be for reader to adapt to normal things and living without the red room and dreykovs control, and how would Nat, yelena, carol, etc react and help? I hope you like this idea for a fic

-💣

Through Your Eyes

Family is More Than Blood

Warning: mention of past sexual assault, big talk about consent, our lovely reader learning how to be a person, guilt, anxiety, mention of past Red Room trauma

Note: These aren't in timeline order per say, just moments in the reader's life that have shaped her.

Relationship: Carol x Reader, Avenger x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 4.4k

It shouldn’t be this hard, right? It was such a simple choice. Ice cream or fruit. Ice cream or fruit. Ugh, you were going to work yourself into a panic attack over a stupid choice. “Kid, you are letting all the cold air out,” you jumped at Tony’s voice and slammed the fridge and freezer closed.

“Sorry, I was distracted,” he raised a questioning eyebrow at you as he poured himself a cup of coffee. It was well past 5 o’clock, you had no idea how he drank that and managed to sleep. Well maybe he wasn’t sleeping, that was his secret.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” you sighed. Tony leaned back on the counter and sipped his coffee.

“Try me,” you began to pick at the skin around your thumb.

“I wanted something to eat,” you explained. “But I couldn’t decide if I wanted ice cream or strawberries. The decision almost caused me to have a panic attack.” It sounded a lot stupider when you said it out loud. He was quiet and you expected him to have left.

“You know you can have both, right?” You spun around to face him.

“Both?” You questioned in disbelief. He nodded and set his coffee down.

“Sit and watch this,” you sat down and he grabbed the per-cut fruit from the fridge and the ice cream from the freezer. He scoped a few spoonfuls of ice cream in a bowl and sprinkled a few cut-up strawberries on top. “Here,” he handed you the bowl with a spoon but you refused to take it. “What?”

“I didn’t have to have both,” you said. “What if someone wanted those strawberries or that ice cream? I didn’t need both.”

“Kid,” he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and placed the bowl in front of you. “If we run out FRIDAY will just order more. You can have anything you want as much as you want.”

“Oh,” you whispered. There was a limit to certain things in the Red Room; food that was given, free time without the cuffs, and a break from the ballet bar. Everything good was limited. “Uh, thanks, Tony. Sorry, that was so dumb.” And a little embarrassing.

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled. “If there is something specific you want let FRIDAY know or ask me, okay?” You nodded as he cleaned up the mess he made. “Enjoy!” He left you to devour your sweet treat.

*

You heard giggling as you entered the kitchen after your workout with Steve. A smoothie, a cold glass of water, and a nap was calling your name. Sitting on the island were Wanda and Yelena, hunched over a laptop and that was the source of the laughter. “What’s going on you two?” You asked, grabbing a glass of water.

“Yelena is a croissant,” Wanda said smiling. You stared at the Slovakian and your sister, mouth slightly open as you tried to process what she told you.

“I’m going to pretend I understand what that meant,” Yelena giggled and turned around the computer.

“It’s an internet quiz,” your sister said. “It will ask you a few questions and you answer at the end it will give you the type of bread you are, or dog, or cartoon character.” She explained. You tilted your head.

“Why do you want to know what type of flower you are?” You questioned, scrolling on the page to see the other quizzes. “What’s the point?” You saw Yelena roll her eyes and take the computer from you.

“There isn’t a point,” Wanda said. “It’s just a fun way to pass the time.” Fun? You weren’t allowed to have fun. There was always a mission or job that needed to be done. Fun was something you weren’t allowed to have in the Red Room.

“Can I take one?” You asked Yelena smiled, nodding her head excitedly. That was where Natasha found you, sitting between Wanda and Yelena with the computer on your lap. “I am not a red panda,” you whined. The two girls laughed at you.

“According to the internet you are,” Yelena smiled, pinching your cheek. “My big krasnaya panda (red panda).” You slapped her hand away.

“I hate you,” you deadpanned.

“There you are,” Natasha said, rounding the corner to stand in front of you. “I thought we were meeting at 3.” You frowned. You were done with your workout by noon so you could shower, eat, and maybe take a nap. Natasha wanted to meet with you because there were some Widows in Central America and the Avengers wanted to see if they could do some surveillance. You looked at the clock in the corner of the laptop. It was 3:15. Shit. You looked back at your sister, her arms were crossed and she wore a smirk on her face.

“I got distracted,” you cringed.

“They got you addicted to those dumb quizzes.”

“Hey,” Yelena said. “They aren’t dumb.” She defended. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Are we meeting or..”

“Yup,” you put the laptop on Yelena’s lap and stood up. “That was fin. See ya guys.” You followed Natasha to the conference room. “Sorry I was late,” you said to her as you sat down in the chair. “Time got away from me.” You were never late, when you needed to be somewhere you were early. If you were late there would be horrible consequences. Natasha waved you off.

“I’m just messing with you,” she smiled, handing you a folder. “Messing around and not working all the time is good for you. We all need to do it every once in a while. It reminds us why we keep fighting.”

*

Walking by Yelena’s room, you heard a groan from the slight crack. Frowning, you gently knocked on her door. “Go away,” she groaned again. You chuckled.

“It’s me,” you opened her door. Yelena was cocooned in the blankets on her bed. “Are you okay?” She burrowed her face in her pillow, muffling the sound she let out. “Come on, sestra,” you sat down on her bed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. She flopped on her back, pouting.

“I don’t feel good,” you placed your hand on her forehead. She wasn’t warm. “No, it’s not that type of sickness,” she huffed out a sigh. “It’s that time of the month.” Her cheeks blushed slightly. Ah, that explained her mood the past few days. You smiled.

“What do you need?”

“Can you get my heating pad?” She asked. “I think it’s in Nat’s room.” You nodded, kissing her forehead. It was a quick trip to Natasha’s room to grab the heating pad and into the kitchen for water, a Gatorade, and some chocolate. You weren’t subjected to periods but you knew people who were and what they liked. Yelena sighed when you reentered with your arms filled with goodies. You bent down to plug in the heating pad. “Ugh, I hate having a uterus,” the off-handed comment made you freeze, subconsciously moving your hand to wear you bared the mark of the Red Room’s choice. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Her panic snapped you out of the fog, turned on the heating pad, and placed it on Yelena’s stomach. You sat down and cuddled up against her.

“It’s okay,” you said and handed her the chocolate bar. She unwrapped it, picking at the bar slowly. You could tell she was still upset with herself. “Yelena, I’m serious. It’s okay. You didn’t mean any harm,” she sighed. Your sister sat up and placed her hand where she saw where you rested yours. Natasha saved Yelena before the graduation ceremony. One day she could have the choice of having children.

“Do you and Carol want kids one day?” You laughed.

“Funny enough we haven’t talked about that fair into the future,” you smiled, resting your hand on top of hers. The Red Room forced all Black Widows to be sterilized upon graduation. A child of your own was the one thing worth more than the mission. It made everything easier, with undying loyalty to the cause. “Not sure if I want kids,” you told her. “I never thought I’d be given the opportunely to have them.” Yelena nodded, moving to rest her head on your stomach.

“I think you’d be a great mom,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

“Do you think so?” You asked. She hummed in agreement. “Thank you,” you whispered. “Get some sleep.”

*

‘What the hell was the noise?” You thought as you walked out to the balcony. It sounded like a cat being murdered. The source of the sound was coming from Steve, a guitar resting on his lap. You grimaced at the note that was very out of tone. "Whatcha doing?” You asked, holding the book you were going to read behind your back. The super soldier looked at you, pausing the song he was playing.

“Trying to learn how to play the guitar,” you smiled, sitting down in the empty chair next to him.

“And how’s that going?” He sighed and set the guitar on the side table between you and him.

“Well Sam was out here with me at one point so does that answer your question.” You chuckled.

“It takes some practice,” you said, leaning back in the chair and opening the book. Steve mirrored you but with a sketchbook. “You’ll get it,” you added and you both fell into a comfortable silence. But as you read your book, you kept glancing at the guitar. It had been so long since you’d felt the strings of a guitar underneath your fingers. You enjoyed every callous you earned. Sighing, you put the book down and carefully picked up the guitar. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face as you tuned it and began to strum. It was a weird feeling it’s been years since you felt this level of peace. Your smile grew. The world seemed much smaller when a guitar was in your hands.

“I didn’t know you could play,” you jumped, stopping mid-song. “Sorry,” Steve chuckled. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Not, it’s fine,” you ran your hand over the body of the guitar. “I was in my own little world,” you sighed. “I haven’t played since Ohio and I didn’t realize how much I missed it.” You admitted, resting your chin on the guitar.

“I could tell. I haven’t seen you smile that big before,” you felt your body warm up. Steve closed his sketchbook and stood up. “You should keep it. You’re the best person to play it.” It took a moment for your brain to register what Steve said.

“Wait,” you stood up. Steve was already at the door. “Hold on. I can’t just keep this.” It was ridiculous, a little absurd.

“Why not?” He questioned with a tilt of his head.

“Because,” you licked your lips. “Because I’ve done nothing to deserve this.” He sadly smiled at you. Did you say something wrong?

“You know you can be given a gift without having to earn it,” that couldn’t be correct. You had to earn everything. Extra portions at dinner time. A mission success meant you could get a break. “Besides, that thing has been bouncing between everyone looking for a home,” he continued. “I think you can give it one.” You stared at the guitar in your hands.

“Thank you, Steve,” he shrugged.

“You should play for all of us,” he said. “At dinner or something.” You smiled.

“I may need some practice before I start performing shows.” He chuckled.

“Well enjoy,” he left you alone. You sat back down, guitar resting on your lap. It was bittersweet holding this instrument again. You wondered what happened to the one you had back in Ohio or any of your things? Was it confiscated by SHIELD? Or local authorities? Was it donated and now someone else was learning how to play on the very same instrument you used? Sighing, you began to play again.

“So bye, bye Miss. American Pie-”

*

There was something off about the day. You were just off all day, having no motivation or energy to do anything. So you called it an early night and curled up underneath the covers. A gentle knock followed by the door opening caused you to sit up. It was Carol. “Hi,” she smiled. “Mind if I join you?” You shook your head and lay back down. You heard her walk over to your closet to grab some clothes she left in your room. The bed shifted as Carol climbed in. She was quick to bring you into her arms. Sighing, you felt her lips graze against your skin. Her hands traveled underneath her shirt. Any other night you would welcome her advances and where this was going to lead but you were so tired.

So when Carol turned you over on your back and covered her body with hers, you didn’t fight her. She was your girlfriend and if she was in the mood you should just let her. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

“Hey, are you okay?” Carol asked, sitting back on her heels.

“Why-why did you stop?” You asked.

“Because I asked you a question and you didn’t answer.” Oh. You must have dissociated. “Do you not want to have sex?” No. That was the word fighting to come out of your mouth but if you said no would she still want to be with you? Would she hit you like the orders and force you anyway?

“It’s fine,” you said, placing your hands on her thighs. “You are in the mood,” you sat up and put your arms around her neck. “So you can use me.” Your girlfriend stared at you as if she was trying to figure out what you said.

“Use you?” She questioned. You nodded. “I’m not going to use you like you’re some object.” You frowned and sat back. Why wasn’t she going to have sex with you? “Baby, if you don’t want to have sex at any time you can say no.” Your eyebrows scrunched together. No? You weren’t allowed to say no.

“But-but if you want to and as your girlfriend I should let you.” Carol sighed and crossed her legs on your bed. Was she upset with you?

“You have ownership of your own body. It doesn’t matter if I want to have sex, you owe me nothing. I should have asked for consent first.”

“Consent?” You said the world slowly as it felt foreign on your tongue.

“Yeah consent,” she said. “So you know how I would ask to hug you when we weren’t officially together,” you nodded. You always wondered why she did that. “I was asking for your consent to touch you. I didn’t want to assume it was okay.”

“But it is. You can touch me.” She smiled.

“Maybe on some days you don’t want me to and you can tell me no and I’ll respect that.”

“Oh,” you whispered. “You must think I’m so stupid.” You looked down at your hands. Gently, she used her pointer finger to lift your head to look at you.

“Never. The Red Room took your and your sister’s autonomy. I will help you get that back. So,” she smiled. “What do you want to do?” You sighed, biting your tongue from telling her you wanted to have sex.

“Can we cuddle? I’m exhausted.” She nodded and climbed off the bed to help you pull back the covers. Once you were under them, she lay down next to you and put her arm around you. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you heard the smile in her voice. “Now sleep.” And you did, safely in her arms.

*

“Melina-” Natasha heard the strain in your voice as she walked by your room. You were pacing; 5 steps, turn around, and another 5 steps. “I know but if you-” you were cut off again. Natasha couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation but she could tell you weren’t agreeing with whatever was being said. “Yes, mama. I will. Talk to you soon. Bye.” You hung up and stared at your phone.

“You know,” Natasha made her presence known before you threw your phone against the wall. “I don’t think your phone deserves that.” You chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I think Stark could cough over a few bucks to get me another one,” she hummed in agreement and entered your room.

“What’s going on with you and Melina?”

“It’s nothing,” she gave you a pointed look. You sighed. “Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t listen or even try to understand my point of view on something,” you tapped your phone against your thigh. “I was cycled through the Red Room four times before you were born,” you mimicked the older Black Widow accent so well it made Natasha smile. “And I get that it must have been so hard and painful but-”

“It’s not an excuse to invalidate what you went through,” Natasha said, finding the words for you. You looked at her, nodding your head.

“Exactly,” you looked forward again. “When she finished her work with him she got out. Things just got worse,” Natasha knew this conversation was about Melina but there was a part of her that wondered if that was directed at her too.

“It’s common for daughters to fight and not see eye to eye,” Natasha witnessed Laura and Lila go toe to toe.

“Yeah but most mother-daughter relationships weren’t created by a deep undercover Red Room mission to steal information from SHIELD aka HYDRA,” you said, resting your head on her shoulder. “I’m so glad I don’t live with them anymore,” the redhead laughed. “I’m serious. I think I’d kill Alexei by now,” Natasha smiled and took your hand in hers.

“Do you hate them?” She found herself asking. “Like do you wish they were stronger to say no to him.” You were quiet. Natasha could see your eyebrows pinched together in concentration.

“I think that resentment will always be there,” you said. “I was so angry at them when we first arrived at the Red Room.”

“Really? I had no idea,” you acted like their betrayal was something you expected. You chuckled.

“That’s because I hid it from you,” of course you did. Natasha wasn’t surprised by that. “But I thought about getting my revenge on them all the time. I thought I wanted to kill them.” You admitted.

“What changed your mind?” You sighed.

“Because they weren’t the problem. They were just part of the system that was created far before their time.”

*

“I’m not sick,” you mumbled, fighting a sneeze that was tickling your nose. Yelena and Natasha stared at each other before rolling their eyes. “I’m serious!” You pouted, sniffling slightly.

“Oh yeah?” Natasha questioned. “How come Carol told us you didn’t sleep last night because you were up coughing?”

“Traitor,” you huffed and failed to keep a straight face as one sneeze after another escaped. You groaned, a pressure building behind your eyes.

“It’s probably just a cold,” Yelena said, jumping on the table next to you. “Helen will just give you medicine and you’ll feel better in no time,” that was the problem. You hated taking anything that you were told would ‘help’. “Maybe she’ll give you a lollipop.”

“Yelena-” Before Natasha could finish her thought the door opened but instead of Helen, a man walked in. “Bruce,” your sister said. “I wasn’t aware you were back.” He gave her a small smile.

“I got back late last night. Helen got pulled away in a meeting with Steve and Tony so she asked me to help out,” he turned his attention to you. “You must be Y/n, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Bruce,” he approached you with his hand extended to you but you refused to take it, frozen in your spot. Could they hear your heart beating? “Would you be more comfortable with Dr. Cho?” He asked. His question snapped you out of the trance you were in.

“No,” you said. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“I’ll let you know everything I’m about to do before I do it, okay?” He could sense your hesitation. A small nod was all the consent you could give and the exam began. He listened to your lungs, asking you to breathe in and out, and took your temperature. You tried to get your body to relax but it wouldn’t. It was tense with tension every time Bruce touched you. His touch was gentle, a little hesitant but you were waiting for the shoe to drop. Soon his hands would leave bruises, would grab you, and force you down. “Looks like you have a small upper respiratory infection,” he said. “Which is odd since you were given the serum, right?” You didn’t respond “Are you under more stress or training harder?”

“I don’t think our sister knows how to relax,” Yelena mumbled and glared at her. Bruce smiled.

“Well I recommend some rest and I’ll prescribe you an antibiotic,” he wrote all this down on his tablet. “I don’t want to interfere too much but the medicine should remind the serum to do its job. Take it easy for the next few days.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” Natasha said for you. You forced a smile as the doctor left. “Want to talk about what just happened?” You sighed but a violent coughing attack ripped through you. Natasha grimaced and walked over to you, rubbing your back to soothe the cough.

“I think I’m sick,” you mumbled. Yelena laughed.

“Yeah no shit but listen to what Bruce said and you’ll be better in no time,” So, that was the problem. You refused to take the antibiotics and decided to try to sweat the infection. That was where Bruce found you, holding onto a punching bag as a violent cough left you breathless.

“Your sisters told me I could find you here,” you tensed up at the sound of his voice. Another cough caused you to sway on your feet and Bruce reached out to steady you, this time you didn’t hide your flinch. Immediately, he pulled back his hands. You slumped against the wall, rubbing your chest to ease the pain. It helped. “Do you want me to get Helen or someone you’re comfortable with?” You shook your head.

“I’m fine,” you took a sip from your water bottle. “It’s not you, it’s me.” He stared at you.

“That was the most cliche line you could have said,” he deadpanned but it made you smile. You lowered yourself onto the ground and tried to collect your thoughts. But Bruce was patient and didn’t rush you to speak. Instead, he sat down in front of you with enough space to not make you feel trapped.

“In the Red Room, we were given pills and we were to take them without question mostly by male doctors,” you explained. There was still fear whenever Helen or Melina gave you medication but it helped they were females. “Sometimes it did help, the pain or sickness went away but other times,” you dug your nails into your hand. “Other times we would black out and wake up to a man on top of us.” You swore you saw a flash of green appear on his neck but the doctor covered it up with a cough. “So it’s me, not you.” It was his turn to be quiet and analyze the information you told him.

“Natasha almost broke my arm when I tried to patch her up after a mission,” you chuckled, that sounded about right. “She wouldn’t let Yelena see me alone. I can’t begin to understand what you and your sisters went through,” he sadly said. “But I’m not going to force you to be around me. It’s a trust I’m willing to earn, on your terms, and however long it takes.”

“Thank-thank you, Dr. Banner,” he smiled and stood up.

“I’ll have Helen set up another examination,” he said. “She may prescribe you a different and stronger antibiotic,” you bite back a groan, it was your fault anyway. “Get some rest or I’ll have FRIDAY ban you from the training room. Doctor’s orders.” He joked.

“Aye, aye captain,” you gave him a mock solute. He chuckled and left you alone. With a sigh, you rested your head on the wall. The serum helped you avoid sickness and long-lasting injuries but it was a water-down version unlike what they gave to Steve and the Winter Solider. So some of the bruises and injuries from their hands would last a little longer. It was another way for all the Widows to be under their control. But you were free and safe from them and Helen and Bruce were trying to help. They wouldn’t hurt you. You kept repeating it over and over again until you believed it.

*

It was a foreign feeling as you sat on a blanket near the pound of the Avenger’s compound. Feet bear and resting on the grass. Your fingers strummed on the guitar and hummed along to the song you were playing. Peace. That was the state of mind you were feeling. It was overwhelming. It was strange. But nice. You heard footsteps approaching, but the sound didn’t stop you from playing. You felt the warm hands of your girlfriend resting on your shoulders. She squeezed them. “How are you, baby?” You smiled, looking over your shoulder.

“Good, I’m happy which is odd.” She chuckled.

“Odd? Why is it odd?” You shrugged.

“Never thought I would be happy,” she kissed the top of your head.

“You deserve all of this and more,” she promised. “Now come on, teach me how to play.” You laughed and handed her the guitar. You stood up on your knees and maneuvered her hands on the guitar. As you were explaining the different notes and chords, she was staring at you instead of the guitar.

“What are you looking at?” You giggled.

“Just the most beautiful person in the entire world,” you rolled your eyes and fought the smile that spread across your face.

“Flattery will get you nowhere Captain. Now focus.”

“Yes ma’am,” she teased and began to listen to what you were teaching her. You smiled as she played the cords with some hesitation. This was your life, your beautiful life.

_

Also, while writing these stories. I don't think I've written Carol asking the reader to be her girlfriend. May write a quick drabble about that.

[novella-november]

This isn't going to be another "you hate fanfiction!!" because very obviously you do not, but it is prompted by the discussion of branching out into original work, since it's something I often struggle with when trying to make that jump. Do you or any of your followers have any good resources on beginner worldbuilding? I really struggle with it.

Thank you!

If you check out my post where I made a "Prep Calendar" for Outline October (Which is a November-prep alternative/ supplement to Ominous October, the spooky short story event), I actually made a rather rough calendar outline of how to go about world building in advance for November;

The basic first steps for me are usually just three things:

Who are your characters

What kind of world do they live in (aka setting)

Whats your main plot/conflict?

To start worldbuilding at its lowest level, start with number one and work your way up; figure out what kind of character you'd like to write, where they live, and go from there!

Here is the prep calendar I threw together in MS paint, I definitely reccomend downloading it on desktop to actually zoom in to see what all it says lol.

And as a bonus, I will even make a fun, silly little exercise for anyone who'd like to get some practice in!

If you want to join in, grab a pen and pencil, or open up your favorite note-taking app :D

Here we go....!

Let's start out by saying that my basic concept for a character is *spins mental wheel of random ideas*....... a talking deer! 1) So now that I have decided that I want a talking deer character, now I have to decide: A) do *all*deer talk? B) Do *all* animals? C) Or is it just this one singular deer who is special? 2) If it *is* just this one singular deer who can talk, are they: D) otherwise a perfectly normal deer who just happens to be able to talk? E) Can they talk because they used to be human? F) Can they talk because they used to be an Alien or encountered Alien Tech (scifi) ? G) Can they talk because they used to be a Magical Creature or ran into a Magical Spell (fantasy) ? 3) Now you get to decide, mostly if you chose A or B from #1 but also useful for C : H) Is your story a more personal nature documentary, with realistic interactions between predators and prey? I) Is your story going to be a unique world where deer have built a society with technology and know how to defend themselves from predators? J) Is your story a unique world where all animals can talk and are equally sentient, therefore predators are revered as gods or keepers of the dead, who bring all back to the circle of life and prevent the spread of illness and disease, with older animals proudly going "to the wolves" to give their life to their brethren who consecrate the bones of the dead and keep resources plentiful? K) Or are predators the monsters in the dark, the teeth that bite, the slavering jaws that kill to live and *cannot live any other way*, so has learned not to regret? L) Or even, predators who feed from the already-dead when they can, and eat their fill of berries, nuts and fruits when they cannot, because they do not wish to take the lives of others for their own sake?

*clears throat* ahem. Drama done (can you see why I love worldbuilding) ,

go ahead and pick a letter from each of the above options, and jot them down on your paper or note-taking app.

You now have: A basic character, their backstory, and a basic setting!

From three-ish questions from a basic idea, you can spawn multiple possibilities, each of which can branch off into their own unique iterations!

Here's a few more, if you'd like to continue the exercise as further practice:

What is your deer's name?

What do they look like / what kind of deer are they? (deer of various species are found over almost the entire world, so there is tons of variety! :D )

What kind of world do they live in?

How do they interact with humans?

*are* there humans in your story?

What kind of zany or terrifying adventures would your talking deer and a human go on?

What kind of adventures would your talking deer go on with other deer or other animals?

How does your deer get along with other species?

Do they have friends from other species?

Do they have rivals from other species?

Do they have *sworn enemies* from other species?

Do they have a *love interest* from another species?

etc!

I am hoping this game/exercise is helpful, my brain being both autistic and ADHD means I am, at the drop of a hat, ready to start spouting more and more ideas sparked from a single concept at any given moment!

And yes, if you did this exercise, please feel free to use your deer character in a story, draw art of your deer character, etc!

If this exercise was helpful to you or fun, please feel free to tag any deer creations with "NovellaDeer" , I'd love to see them!

You can easily adapt this exercise to any story concept you need to worldbuild; pick what basic idea you have for a main character, and start asking yourself questions about them and their circumstances, and let yourself come up with multiple, contradicting answers for each question; the more the merrier!

After you've decided which starting answers you like the most, you can work your way down the list, asking follow-up questions, and before you know it you will have your very own original character :D

And do not feel like you need to keep your character exactly the way they start out as; characters evolve over time, and you may find yourself changing their "base" character to suit your story or to suit your tastes as you get more experienced with writing and world building!

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Gray 18

First / Previous / Next

Fen spent her time exploring the ship - she was aboard The Dreams of Hyacinth - talking with people and learning as much as she could.

At first, she was viewed with skepticism. Who is this person who speaks with an odd accent wandering around asking operational questions, but soon after the captain let everyone know that Fen was their guest and allowed to ask questions, most everyone opened up. She wasn't allowed to view the reactors, the weapons, or navigation, but she was allowed to check out just about everywhere else.

Fen was constantly surprised at how many humans there were. In hindsight it was silly, it was a Human Empire ship, but she had grown up on a Gren station among just as many K'laxi as humans as well as all the other different sapients that came and went, so it was odd for her surroundings to be so homogenous. She mentioned it to Kel, one of her new friends. Kel was the type of person who adopted people and would show her around and answer her questions. She was a biologist and the head of gardening. Kel was showing Fen the greenhouse. "I can see why you'd think it's odd Fen, but all Imperial ships are like this. Sometimes we get K'laxi exchange personnel, and sometimes one of us will spend a tour with them, but it would be odd for there to be more than humans on a human ship... wouldn't it?"

Fen was astonished. There was a whole gardening department! There was row after row after row of vegetables and fruits all growing under strong lights. The greenhouse smelled of soil and was warm and moist and utterly fascinating. She had never spent time around plants. These days, they reminded her of Ma-ren and their 'visits.' She was following Kel around and grilling her about what she was growing. "The cilantro is ready to harvest. We'll keep some back to let it bolt for coriander - that's the seed - but the rest we'll eat."

"Cilantro? What's that?"

"It's this one, see?" Kel gestured to a low, bushy plant, deep green. Fen leaned down and brushed against it and it released oils giving a burst of a spicy smell. "It's an herb, it's popular with lime-" she gestured to some small trees along a back wall "-and protein.

"Huh. I'd like to try it sometime."

Kel glanced down at her pad. "Today is Taco Tuesday! You can try it at lunch today."

"Taco?" Fen felt the odd word as she said it slowly.

"You'll love them, I promise" Kel smiled.

After the garden tour finished, Kel took Fen to the canteen and she tried her first taco. Watching Kel with skepticism, she picked up the folded, fried tortilla and turned her head and bit into it like she was shown. The flavors were unlike anything she had ever tasted. The onion, the lime, the highly spiced protein - she didn't think to ask what it was - and yes, the cilantro danced and pranced in her mouth as she chewed. It was an experience.

"Kel, this is amazing!" Fen tore into the taco with gusto and devoured both of them. Kel ate hers slightly slower, but still they were both done quickly. Kel went back up to get a few more.

"So Fen, what was it like, growing up on a Gren station?" Kel placed another taco down on Fen's plate.

"I mean, I didn't know anything else, so it was pretty normal for me?" Fen talked around her taco, then swallowed, and continued. "My parents were gone early, and I was taken in by the Gen'mil familial line."

"Familial line? That's K'laxi isn't it?"

Fen nodded. "That's right. They brought me up. I can speak K'inmar as well as Colonic, That's where I got these earrings." Fen turned her head and her piercings flashed. "My wife was K'laxi."

"And the tattoos?" Kel was wearing a shirt that covered them, but had clearly been watching Fen before. Fen raised an eyebrow.

"They're K'laxi yes, but I got them after I left, it's a memorial."

"I see. For your wife" Fen nodded quietly. "I'm sorry, my condolences."

"It's all right." Fen looked up at the buffet. "Any chance we can get more of those Tacos?"

Before Kel could get up to get more tacos, a shadow appeared behind Fen. "Who is your friend Kel? Is this that trash that was dumped from that old bot-jumper that we pinged?" She was a women a little shorter than Fen, wider, more voluptuous, with closely cropped blond hair. She was wearing a sneer as she looked upon Fen.

"Hello Ellen, this is Fen." Kel's voice was venomous.

Ellen scoffed. "Oh, my mistake. I didn't realize that the bots named their pets too." Ellen crossed her arms. "Fen, is it? What's with the cat earrings?"

Fen didn't say anything. Her eyes flicked up to Kel who tried to apologize with her eyes.

"Cat got your tongue?" Ellen's laugh was harsh and deep. She bent down and put her face even with Fen's. "Maybe you just don't understand human speech. Maybe this will help." She started meowing and hissing, like a housecat.

Fen reacted faster than Kel thought possible. Grabbing a fisfull of short hair, she grabbed the back of Ellen's head and slammed it against the table. The noise of Ellen's head striking the table caused all the conversation and noises of cutlery in the canteen to cease. Dazed, Ellen mumbled a swear, but before she could do anything else Fen rose out of her chair, grabbed her wrist, and spun her around in one motion, lifting her arm up to her skull. Ever time Ellen squirmed, Fen lifted the arm higher, until Ellen was standing on her toes.

"I speak Colonic just fine." She hissed. "I also speak Lemilar and K'inmar. I even know a little Innari. My parents died when I was young and I was taken in by a K'laxi familial group. My wife - who is dead, by the way, shot by gangsters - was K'laxi." Ellen tried to turn her head and Fen lifted the arm even higher. The blood ran out of Ellen's face and her eyes widened. "I was raised on a Gren station, do you know the Gren? I assume not. I understand that most of the Empire never ventures beyond their own corner of the galaxy." She lifted Ellen's arm up another millimeter. She whimpered. "The thing is, The Gren are taller than us, about equally muscled, and have thick hides that can nearly turn a knife. They have those reverse articulated legs though, you know them? I'm sure you have, you've probably at least seen a photo of one. Those legs means their hips are exceedingly complex and fragile. It's rather easy to dislocate a Gren's leg from their hips. Painful too. I've used it to my advantage more than once when one of them gave me shit about how I was raised, or who my partners were."

Fen took a moment to look around. She had the whole canteen's attention. Kel was looking at her with a combination of fear and admiration. Nobody seemed to be coming to Ellen's defense. In the back in the door was Captain Cooper who stood there with her arms crossed, watching impassively. Fen turned back to Ellen.

"The thing is, Ellen, humans shoulders are unique in the galaxy. They're complex things. We can throw better than just about anyone else we've seen, but that comes at a cost. Just like the Gren, we can dislocate easily." Fen lifted Ellen's arm up higher and Ellen let loose a whimpered scream.

Ellen tried to rise even taller. "Don't." She panted. "Please."

Fen leaned in even closer to Ellen's ear. "Don't what?" Her lips were almost touching Ellen's ear.

Ellen was on the tips of her toes, trying her hardest to not hang from her arm. "Don't... dislocate my... arm."

"Lieutenant Ellen Hannaford." Captain Cooper's voice was clear in the canteen. "What are you doing?"

"C-Captain, she... she's gonna" Ellen could only pant and gasp around the pain.

"I expected more... eloquence from my officers." Captain Cooper raised an eyebrow. "Ms. Whitehorse?"

Fen lowered Ellen a millimeter, but still held firm. "Ellen had decided to insult my heritage as well as the ship and AI who brought me here. I'm... sensitive to my heritage. Who I am is important to me, and someone who I've never met does not get to come up to me and start flinging slurs."

"Indeed." Captain Cooper's face was impassive. "Is anyone here willing to corroborate Ms. Whitehorse's story?"

Kel stood to attention. "Captain, I concur with our guest's description of events."

Captain Cooper eyed Kel, and turned to the rest of the canteen. "Does anyone wish to come to Lieutenant Hannaford's defense?"

No takers. Fen had a hunch that Ellen had pulled a stunt like this before.

"Well then." Captain Cooper turned back to Fen and Ellen. "Ms. Whitehorse, please continue your demonstration. Show the canteen how easy it is to dislocate a shoulder."

Fen looked Captain Cooper in the eyes. She saw no trick, no hint of anything other than her making a statement. She held the captain's gaze as she lifted Ellen's arm sharply.

Elen's eyes went even wider. "What? No! No nonononono" The pop was sickening. A millisecond before the screaming, Fen could hear the groan of sympathetic pain of the rest of the canteen. Fen released her and Ellen crumpled to the ground, moaning.

Captain Cooper turned to the crowd. "There are multiple lessons to be learned here. One, we always treat our guests with respect. We are to learn from them and they us. The things that Ms. Whitehorse has learned from us today will serve her well further into human space. Two, always evaluate your opponent before you instigate something. Don't start something you can't finish. And Three, Ms. Whitehorse is correct! Our shoulders are easy to dislocate in comparison to other sapients in the galaxy. We will conduct two weeks of remedial xenobiology for all crew. Cohorts will be drawn up and classes conducted - with exams at the end." The crowd groaned and sat back down to finish their lunch. Ellen laid on the floor, sniffling. Captain Cooper stood over her. "Lieutenant, pull yourself together. Get yourself to medical and get that dislocation treated." She turned on her heel and walked out of the canteen.

Fen sat back in her seat and took a sip of water, trying not to shake. That hadn't gone like she expected, the captain told her to dislocate the bully's arm. Kel's eyes shone. "That was amazing Fen! I had no idea you knew how to fight so well!"

"It's not exactly something that one tends to advertise Kel. In my line of work, it pays to be underestimated."

"Your line of work? What do you do?"

Fen stopped. Just what does she do? Telling Kel that she was a trader didn't seem that exciting, and Gord did say that she was good enough to sign on with a Mercenary group.

"I'm a mercenary." She lied.

[luffyvace]

Luffy x male reader hcs ☆

Cuz yeaaaaa I never see this?? I’m sure there’s some male luffy simps out there somewhere !!

come get your food I know you exist!! <3

Now luffy’s not gentle with anyone

but if your a guy he assumes you can handle yourself, weak or not

Why? Because your a man! And men have to do what a man has to do

Luffy has mentioned multiple times to protect nami

because she’s a young girl! (Not a grown woman—she’s eight-TEEN)

robin is strong and has a devil fruit so she’s different!

nami has average feats besides some decent durability

but yeah so he’s not gentle at all

you may get treated like zoro and usopp

you two probably seem more like best friends than a couple

luffy drags you EVERYWHERE on your adventures!

like literally you don’t remember a time where you two are separated

which leads me to believe one of his love languages are quality time

playing together, fishing together, fighting side by side, exploring together

did you notice how many times I said together??

yes!! Because your never apart!!!

so, what’s the other love language??

why physical touch of course!

luffy has no concept of personal space

as we know

so he’s always slingshotting onto you, hopping on you back (even if your smaller), dragging you around, whatever!

he does this subconsciously of course

The crew gets this as well but with as touchy as he is with you, you can tell you two are the couple of the group

don’t bother with dates unless you want to have a eating competition

that’s a date he’ll gladly take on without RUINING

In fact he wins!

every time-

no matter what type of competition it is luffy will never hold back

not even to make you feel better 🤷‍♀️

if you’re just as hyper as him you two are the chaotic duo

nami is always scolding and punching you both

not that you learn your lesson or anything

you guys are always doing stupid stuff like challenges and pranks

and bothering your fellow straw hats when you get bored

🤪

With a more rational boyfriend

luffy doesn’t calm down at all

nor does he listen to you any better than nami

he drags you around on his silly adventures whether you want to or not

in fact that may be how you joined in the first place!

(you remind me of law—platonically)

Luffy always laughs and says “come on m/n it’ll be fun!” Whenever you express you don’t wanna do something

yeah he’s not a great listener

but he is good at picking up on feelings!

so if your genuinely sad he can tell straight away you aren’t your normal self, even if your the world’s best actor

m/n being more sentimental/emotional actually kinda goes hand in hand with luffy since he can pick up on those if nothing else

although you’ll be going through a roller coaster of said emotions-

at least he listens to your demands a little more

Unlike zoro for example as to where he doesn’t get to finish his sentences 🤦‍♀️😬

if luffy ever gifts you something it’ll either be so perfectly accurate (you probably think someone helped him but he did it by himself and didn’t think much of it)

or 😬😬😟

“gee..thanks luffy..”

”no problem m/n!” 😊👍

LOL

if your weak luffy won’t train with you-

you either train with zoro or get stronger with time

it’s not that he doesn’t want to

it just doesn’t cross his mind

he spent 10 years training, he thinks he’s pretty good

All he needs now is experience and adventure!

but if you ask him? Sure!

(im warning you this is training and he doesn’t hold back, especially since your a guy)

idk why luffy thinks guys can handle everything??

like dang you could be a lil gentle..?

anyway yeah

if your strong? Great!

now you can fight along side him :)

random

luffy tells you about everything and anything

Even stuff you don’t wanna know..

”OIII M/N COME LOOK A FISH POOPED IN THE OCEAN!! USOPP WASN’T LYING!”

what??

YUP I’m ending it there 😜

Hopefully my male readers enjoyed this!~ more op content coming soon💗