#I think Talking Deer + Horror Story would be a fun mix from the *deers perspective* lol

[novella-november]

This isn't going to be another "you hate fanfiction!!" because very obviously you do not, but it is prompted by the discussion of branching out into original work, since it's something I often struggle with when trying to make that jump. Do you or any of your followers have any good resources on beginner worldbuilding? I really struggle with it.

Thank you!

If you check out my post where I made a "Prep Calendar" for Outline October (Which is a November-prep alternative/ supplement to Ominous October, the spooky short story event), I actually made a rather rough calendar outline of how to go about world building in advance for November;

The basic first steps for me are usually just three things:

Who are your characters

What kind of world do they live in (aka setting)

Whats your main plot/conflict?

To start worldbuilding at its lowest level, start with number one and work your way up; figure out what kind of character you'd like to write, where they live, and go from there!

Here is the prep calendar I threw together in MS paint, I definitely reccomend downloading it on desktop to actually zoom in to see what all it says lol.

And as a bonus, I will even make a fun, silly little exercise for anyone who'd like to get some practice in!

If you want to join in, grab a pen and pencil, or open up your favorite note-taking app :D

Here we go....!

Let's start out by saying that my basic concept for a character is *spins mental wheel of random ideas*....... a talking deer! 1) So now that I have decided that I want a talking deer character, now I have to decide: A) do *all*deer talk? B) Do *all* animals? C) Or is it just this one singular deer who is special? 2) If it *is* just this one singular deer who can talk, are they: D) otherwise a perfectly normal deer who just happens to be able to talk? E) Can they talk because they used to be human? F) Can they talk because they used to be an Alien or encountered Alien Tech (scifi) ? G) Can they talk because they used to be a Magical Creature or ran into a Magical Spell (fantasy) ? 3) Now you get to decide, mostly if you chose A or B from #1 but also useful for C : H) Is your story a more personal nature documentary, with realistic interactions between predators and prey? I) Is your story going to be a unique world where deer have built a society with technology and know how to defend themselves from predators? J) Is your story a unique world where all animals can talk and are equally sentient, therefore predators are revered as gods or keepers of the dead, who bring all back to the circle of life and prevent the spread of illness and disease, with older animals proudly going "to the wolves" to give their life to their brethren who consecrate the bones of the dead and keep resources plentiful? K) Or are predators the monsters in the dark, the teeth that bite, the slavering jaws that kill to live and *cannot live any other way*, so has learned not to regret? L) Or even, predators who feed from the already-dead when they can, and eat their fill of berries, nuts and fruits when they cannot, because they do not wish to take the lives of others for their own sake?

*clears throat* ahem. Drama done (can you see why I love worldbuilding) ,

go ahead and pick a letter from each of the above options, and jot them down on your paper or note-taking app.

You now have: A basic character, their backstory, and a basic setting!

From three-ish questions from a basic idea, you can spawn multiple possibilities, each of which can branch off into their own unique iterations!

Here's a few more, if you'd like to continue the exercise as further practice:

What is your deer's name?

What do they look like / what kind of deer are they? (deer of various species are found over almost the entire world, so there is tons of variety! :D )

What kind of world do they live in?

How do they interact with humans?

*are* there humans in your story?

What kind of zany or terrifying adventures would your talking deer and a human go on?

What kind of adventures would your talking deer go on with other deer or other animals?

How does your deer get along with other species?

Do they have friends from other species?

Do they have rivals from other species?

Do they have *sworn enemies* from other species?

Do they have a *love interest* from another species?

etc!

I am hoping this game/exercise is helpful, my brain being both autistic and ADHD means I am, at the drop of a hat, ready to start spouting more and more ideas sparked from a single concept at any given moment!

And yes, if you did this exercise, please feel free to use your deer character in a story, draw art of your deer character, etc!

If this exercise was helpful to you or fun, please feel free to tag any deer creations with "NovellaDeer" , I'd love to see them!

You can easily adapt this exercise to any story concept you need to worldbuild; pick what basic idea you have for a main character, and start asking yourself questions about them and their circumstances, and let yourself come up with multiple, contradicting answers for each question; the more the merrier!

After you've decided which starting answers you like the most, you can work your way down the list, asking follow-up questions, and before you know it you will have your very own original character :D

And do not feel like you need to keep your character exactly the way they start out as; characters evolve over time, and you may find yourself changing their "base" character to suit your story or to suit your tastes as you get more experienced with writing and world building!

[evan-peters-wife]

Surprise

Summary: after being asked on the Late Late Show with James Corden, he surprises you with Harry Styles. Later on you go back to Harry’s.

Pairing: Harry Styles and Reader

Warning: smut

Word Count: 2983

A.N: sorry the beginning of the imagine is a bit awkward :/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currently, I was on the Late Late Show with James Corden. Basically, just chatting. Acting in American Horror Story, Outer Banks and multiple other shows and movies, I would say I’m pretty famous. It’s known to everyone that I’m very open about everything in my life. I simply don’t care who knows what. That includes my HUGE crush on Harry Styles. I’ve been crushing on him since I was 12 years old…a whole 10 years!

“So, Y/N, your starring in the new movie, Can You Keep A Secret? Along with Tyler Hoechlin. Now, you have to be honest with me…what was it like kissing a guy like Tyler?” James smiles at me from his desk. I’m sitting on the couch right next to it.

I laugh, “Ha, that’s a fun question. A lot of people don’t know this, but Tyler and I have actually known each other since I was ten years old. I’m sure it was more awkward for him than it was for me, though.”

“What?! No way!” James laughs. “So if you had the chance to do those scenes with any guy in the world, who would you choose?” He knows damn well who I would choose.

“Harry Styles. One hundred percent.” I smile widely.

“Have you ever actually met Harry?” His question almost made me laugh. Like Harry would have the time to meet me.

“Sadly, I haven’t.” I sigh.

“Would you like to?” My eyes immediately meet his in alarm. “Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles!” I look over to my right to see THE Harry Styles walking out behind the curtain, the live crowd screaming in surprise. I look back at James with wide eyes as he laughs at my reaction. Not believing this is actually happening, I stand up from the couch a walk off the raised stage area, staring at Harry in shock.

I’m actually about to meet the guy I’ve been crushing over for 10 years! My emotions getting the best of me, a few tears fall down my face.

“Come here!” Harry chuckles, walking over to me. He’s wearing a dark floral suit and his hair is styled to perfection. He has the biggest smile on his face.

“What the fuck.” I say, not caring that they’re gonna have to bleep it for the show. “Oh my god!” More tears stream down my face. Harry reaches me and pulls me in for a hug.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll talk more with these two after the break!” James announces.

<><><> 

Harry and I are currently sitting next to each other on the couch while James is sitting in his chair. I’ve calmed down a bit, but I still don’t know how the fuck to react.

“How are you feeling right now, Y/N?” James asks, laughing at my dazed face.

“Um…I honestly don’t know. Half of me thinks I’m dreaming while the other half thinks I died and is in heaven.” They all laugh but I’m being serious. I’m asleep right? I’m just dreaming.

“I can assure you this is real.” Harry smirks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. My inner fangirl is about to explode.

“Oh my fucking god.” I mumble, forgetting I have a mic on, and everyone can hear me. “Shit, sorry. No, fuck. Oh, my god. I can’t think straight.” I need to stop swearing on tv. Harry chuckles and it sends my whole body into a frenzy. How can someone be so perfect?

“She’s so cute.” Harry smiles at James, talking as if I weren’t here…not that I don’t mind. I mean, Harry Styles just called me cute!

We talked for a few more minutes before the show ended and Harry and I went into our own rooms backstage. I quickly got my things together knowing I still needed to get to a hotel my manager would be satisfied with. She was such a diva…but still love her. I landed in Los Angeles a couple hours ago from England and came straight here so I still have my suitcases with me. I drag them out with me to the taxi…or ‘Uber’ as Americans would call it. Just as Emily, my manager, and I are about to get in, Harry shows up out of nowhere.

“Oh, hey.” I say awkwardly, still not believing that this is real.

“Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to stay with me at my house. It’s only like thirty minutes away.” I’m sorry…did Harry FUCKING Styles offer me to stay in his HOUSE? “If you already booked a hotel, it’s okay. I just thought I’d save you the money.”

“No, no, no. We haven’t booked anywhere.” I rush out, pulling Emily away from the Uber, not letting her get in. “We would love to stay with you.” I smile, trying to contain my excitement.

“Great.” Harry smirked. He helped me and Emily with our stuff and transferred it into his car. We quickly get in as it was getting cold. I’m sat in the passenger seat with Harry driving and Emily is in the back, on her phone.

At first, the drive was calm and quiet but then I felt a hand on my thigh. Harry’s hand. My eyes go wide slightly as I look over at him. He just gives me a playful smile before looking back at the road. I then look behind me to see Emily still on her phone, not having a clue at what’s going on at the front. His hand slides higher, holding my inner thigh. I have to remind myself to breathe. Not long after, we get to his house and pull our suitcases in.

“Emily, here’s your room.” Harry says stopping in front of a door. Emily thanks him before walking in with her bags and shutting the door, leaving just us two. He continues to walk down the hallway before he stops at another door. “And here’s your room. Mine is just around the corner if you need anything.” He smiles. I smile back as he walks off to his room.

I leave my suitcase at the foot of my bed and immediately walk into the bathroom attached to the room and turn on the shower. I strip down to nothing and take off all my jewelry.

<><><> 

That was a good shower. Way better than the one I would’ve had if we went to a hotel, even if it was 5 stars. As I step out of the shower, I go to reach for a towel but soon realize that there isn’t one. Ah, fuck. I try to ring my hair out the best I can before walking into the room and finding my underwear and pajamas: shorts and a vest. My body is fairly dry, but it’s still wet enough for my clothes to stick slightly. I guess I should go ask Harry where the towels are. I travel out of my room and around the corner to his. There’s only one door so I knock on it.

 I was NOT ready for what I was about to see.

Harry opens the door with just a pair of joggers hanging dangerously low on his waist. He had no shirt on, showing off all his tattoos and nipples (I had to mention them at least once). “Uh, hi. Um, I…uh need a towel.” I say awkwardly, trying not to look anywhere apart from his eyes.

He smiles, “Yeah, one second.” He disappears for not even a minute before he returns with a white fluffy towel in his hand and passes it to me.

“Thank you.” I sigh in relief before looking back at his eyes. “I’m…just gonna go back to my room. Well, your room- you know what I mean. Thanks again.”

“Yeah, sure.” He smiles as I walk back into my room and shut the door behind me.

I dry off my body and put my clothes back on before getting into bed. I try and go to sleep but I can’t. The image of Harry shirtless is still imbedded in my mind. I’ve obviously seen pictures of him shirtless, but they really do him no justice. They are NOTHING compared to the real thing. So, I do the only thing that I can do. Masturbate.

I quietly slide my hand into my shorts and close my eyes. As I started moving my fingers over my clit, I tried to think of things to get me in the mood and the only thing on my mind is Harry. He’ll definitely work. I start moving my fingers faster and faster over my clit imagining Harry’s body and face. Suddenly, I hear the door open. Shit. It’s Harry.

"Get out oh my god!" Harry's cheeks are flushed pink, and I don't even want to know what my face looks like. He closes the door, and I hear him mutter 'fuck' outside my door. I get up, pulling my hair into a bun before opening my door, Harry looking like a deer in headlights.

"I'm, uh, sorry about that. I knocked…multiple times actually.” I notice Harry's eyes trail over my body, his cheeks no longer pink.

"Oh, uh. Sorry.” Harry licks his lips before leaning in close, his lips next to my ear.

"Were you thinking of me, Y/N?” The smirk on his face is impossible to miss, and the lust in his eyes was unmistakable.

Now I was the one stuttering, "Harry, I- um” He just laughed quietly to himself, as if he just understood an inside joke.

"Let me pleasure you, Y/N. I'll make you feel so good." He steps closer to me, my breath faltering. Before I can muster up another broken sentence, Harry's lips are on mine. And it's fucking amazing; his lips are so soft, and the way they moved against mine so hungrily  was a huge turn on. I hadn't even noticed we moved to the bed until we pulled apart, and his eyes were ravenous. His hands travelled underneath my shirt, his fingertips leaving goosebumps everywhere. Soon enough my shirt was off, and he smirked when seeing I had no bra on.

"You look so good.” I couldn't help but moan, his voice raspy and so. Fucking. Hot. When his touch left my body, I found myself whining at the loss of contact. "Be patient, princess.” As Harry slowly pull my shorts and underwear down, I can feel my body heating up from the anticipation of what is to come. His hands push my legs apart, a groan leaving his lips when he sees how wet I am. The moment his tongue touches my clit, moans immediately leave my lips. He licks stripes over my folds, his fingers digging into my sides. I find myself grinding against him, and when he lightly bites down on my clit I lose it, his name leaving my lips like a banshee. "That's it, Y/N, say my name. Let everyone know who's making you feel so good." Harry violently sucks on my clit, a finger slipping into the mix at the same time.

"Fuck Harry, yes, just like that, oh my god, fuck!" I can't stop moaning, the pleasure overwhelming. As Harry adds a second finger, I can tell I'm close, and then he stops. "What, what are you doing?" My eyes follow his every moment, and when he rolls over next me I become increasingly confused.

"I want you to ride my face, baby. Come here." I put my legs on either side of his face, and his hands pull me down instantly.

He alternates between biting, sucking, and licking, and my hands grip my headboard as he grinds me against his face. "Shit, Harry, I'm close, so fucking close." He groans, and the vibrations send me over the edge, my orgasm taking over my body.

"God, you’re so sexy, princess.” My breath is unsteady, and I fall next to Harry, at a loss for words.

A few seconds go by before I breathlessly speak, "That was…fucking amazing." He chuckles, and I find myself laughing as well.

"Was I better than your hand?" I giggle, turning my head to look at him.

"Definitely. You were much better. Now it’s your turn.” I get off the bed with Harry following. Slowly sinking to my knees, I let a soft moan fall from my lips when I saw how hard he was already. My hands reached up, my fingers rushing to pull down his joggers. They pooled around his ankles, his boxers joining them soon after. I took his cock in my hand, slowly pumping up and down a few times. Licking his precum off his tip, I took him into my mouth, going down as far as I could as I hollowed out my cheeks, sucking harder on his thick member.

"Good girl, just like that." I felt satisfied knowing that he enjoyed what I was doing. He gathered my hair in his hands, beginning to thrust into my mouth. I let out a small moan at the feeling of his length hitting the back of my throat. I hollowed out my cheeks even more, my hands grasping his thighs when he started to fuck my mouth faster, groans tumbling from his lips. "Shit, baby. You take my cock so well.” I hummed, my hand coming up to his balls as I started gently fondling them, his thrusts stalling as hips bucked in pleasure. "Fuck, you're gonna make me come." He quickly pulled me off him.

“It’s okay. I can take it.” I grin before sucking him again. A few moments later he’s nearing his edge. His load was hot, shooting down my throat. I made sure to swallow, looking up at him with wide, not-so-innocent eyes.

“Fuck, that was hot.” He sighs in satisfaction, pulling me up and gently pushing me onto the bed. He crawls on top of me. "How much do you like these?" He tugs on my black laced underwear.

"I can always buy another pair." You mutter, excited for what’s next. He rips them off, literally, the fabric tearing harshly against my skin. It was a good kind of pain though. I let out a breathy moan at the sight of his flexed muscles, lifting my hips trying to create some friction.

"Needy little thing, aren't you, princess?" He chuckles lowly, his pointer and middle fingers pressing down above my belly button, walking down my tummy until he hits above my pussy.

“Don’t play with me, Harry.” I squirm under his touch, his two fingers pushing through my walls without any warning. I let out an unexpected moan, my wide eyes finding his.

"Ask nicely princess." He pulls his fingers out, thrusting them into my pussy. "So wet, already?" He taunts.

"Please, Harry. I need you." I whimper, rocking my hips against his fingers.

"You're so fucking hot." He mutters, watching me rut my hips against his fingers. He pulls his fingers out abruptly, making me whine.

"Harry, please stop messing with me.” I almost growl.

"Oh, I’m sorry." He frowns. "Should've said so, princess." He kisses my pouty lips. "You’re gonna feel me right here.” He presses against my stomach. Fuck, this man is the hottest thing to ever walk this earth. He reaches to the side of the bed and into a drawer, taking out a silver packet (wrap it before you tap it, kids). He lines himself up with my hole, thrusting into my pussy. "Oh, princess." He grunts, pushing himself all the way in. I feel his balls touch my bum, his body hovering over me as I let out a moan that could put porn stars to shame. "Fuck, you're fucking hot." He repeats for the third time. He slowly pulls himself out, thrusting into me again. He finds a fast rhythm, his thumb finding my clit rubbing quickly. "Fuck, you are perfect, baby."

"You feel so good inside me.” I cry out, propping myself up on my elbows to watch where the two of us meet. "Harry!" I scream, his hips speeding up. I feel his cock rub against that spot, his cock twitching when I say his name.

"Fuck.” He groans, taking one of my legs and putting it over his shoulder, his thumb continuing his assault on my clit. "So beautiful." He leans down, pressing a wet kiss to my lips. He presses against my stomach, feeling himself. I knew he must’ve been big but bloody hell; this man was something else.

"I’m gonna cum.” I whine, throwing my head back.

Harry groans. "On three." I nod. He starts counting. "One," He pulls out completely, thrusting back in. "Two," He pulls out almost completely, thrusting back in and finding that spot again, his tip rubbing against my flesh. "Three, cum for me, princess." He groans, his thrusts quickening their pace once more, his cock twitching inside me before I scream once again.

"Harry!" I scream, pulling his head down to my chest, his lips finding my nipple, sucking on it harshly. "Oh, Harry!" I moan out, my eyes closing while I pant in his ear. I feel myself go, my cum spilling out onto Harry's cock. His lips detach from my nipple, his eyes coming into contact with mine while he cums inside me.

“That was the best sex I’ve ever had.” He groans, pulling out of me. He takes the condom off and ties it before managing to throw it in the small bin in the corner of the room. Damn, he has good aim.

I laugh, “Same here.”

“Hey, listen” Oh god, this is the part where he tells me it was a one time thing and that he- “I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me.” Oh…OH!

“I think you already know the answer.” I smile, leaning up and kissing him on the lips.

 Thank you, James Corden.

[semi-imaginary-place]

In which I play maddening classic with only Byleth and Dimitri and liveblog on discord 1/15/20 - 2/2/20

because if I’ve got to see a character die repeatedly, countless times, it might as well be dimitri.  

So I'm on maddening and classic with only dimitri and I’m going to kill off every other character. I heard if they reach 0 hp in part 1 they stick around the monastery and you can talk to them they just aren’t a part of your class anymore. Give me your blessings.

I died on the prologue! ... i dont have a healer... Death count:2

I am definitely new game+ cheating this for professor level and skills. I was thinking magic focused but she can't be too squishy... Gremory would help that. Also why do all the magic classes have bad growths. Give me a moving fortress of magic!

Ashe went down, 7 to go. Ch3 turned into a survival horror... but i made it out

Ch 6 is hell. Any idea for how to kill every last one of them in 25 turns with only byleth? Or alternately get to and take down the death knight. Only byleth and dimitri run. And no dimitri this chapter, Byleth's a thief

My main problem in crowd control. If i had infinite turns then i could agro them 1 by one... Maybe I've built byleth wrong and just don't have the stats. Is the warp route faster? Haven't tried that yet. In hindsight this was a bad idea for my first maddening run. I'm so used to not using byleth much that this is very different. Damn archers...  Got done in by chip damage the first time...

I I dont know what happened... but I beat the death knight.... I was expecting to die becausr i accidentally opened the door so i skipped what actually happened.... Next thing I know game is telling me i got a dark seal What  Did I crit? With a silver sword? Im in shock I DONT EVRN I dont even know if it was a crit! But byleth is thief so lethality is out of the question Maybe I should go give a sacrifice to rng god

so I was in shock but yeah I used the warp route and avoided fighting most of the enemies.

So i'm now at the winter ball chapter and felix is still alive (i've decided to off one character every chapter so Miklan downed sylvain. oh and first time through ch5 i accidentally stepped into range of one of the center archers so every unit rushed me and i died) and i tried felix's paralogue and wowo its impossible. Rodrigue dies in 2 attacks, outruns my healing and likes to charge headfirst into the enemy. My record so far is 3 turns before he dies. Might give up since this is optional.

(i eventually finished the paralogue but gave up saving anyone else so i didn’t even get anything good out of it)

The ally A.I. is sooo bad. Jeralt. Dad. Please stop getting yourself killed

Almightly Father in Heaven preserve me. I'm making dimitri learn reason.  maybe his rationale will start making sense no more moon logic for you boy

Hey. Why wont the game let me make dimitri a dark bishop

I need dark mage certification first? Or is the internet lying to me

Well dimitri is at c+ reason but I'm tired of grinding.  

got dimitri from c+ to b+ in a battle. But the boredom makes me want to cry.  Also might have miscalculated.... Fighting an assassin in a forest.... i have 35% hit and no other weapon. They have like 18% hit....  When will i be free...

I made dimitri into a dark bishop and he beat lysithea in the magic tournament.  Also just the thought of dimitri in slithers is funny to me

wrath is how i survived the sothis paralogue. crit everything

chasing the empire around in the hold tomb with 2 units was actually kinda fun

I cant believe that worked... Final battle of part 1. I charge down the middle. And it works 4 turns for infanty to cross the field... and it worked ... Welp i somehow made it to part 2 intact. Endless waves of reinforcement here i come

(Oh yeah and rng is punishing me right now by giving terrible level ups)

For the bridge is it best to go straight for the commander?

bridge wasn’t too bad but I was convinced to spare dedue so i had to fend enemies off him like ants to a dropped ice cream cone. if dedue reaches 0 hp or you don’t do his paralogue he dies in fhirdiad and I’m trying to get everyone off my party but not dead, soooo he’s along for the ride

I'm stuck on am ch 14 ... how do I defend 4 spaces when I have 2 units... Those pegasus knights keep dodging too... Damn pegasus knights.... without them i could just hold a choke point with 1 unit. I have 4 gambit uses maximum... Another thought I had is to out fly their flyers so I can shift byleth over quickly. if I take out randolf in delusional prince the map doesn't end. It just stops reinforcements right? 

Soo I tried to kill randolf but my movement is too low. It takes 3 turns to reach him...

Yup this is possible. But because I can't do things the quick way. I'll have to do the long way of waiting out the right side and then heading for randolf with byleth all the while holding out with dimitri in the center and hoping rng favors me for lije 20 turns

ALRIGHT WhIcH oF yOuSe a LIAR Sooo .... killing randolph does not stop reinforcements nor does it get you a victory, the fire attack is the only way. Time to go guard another npc with a death wish. Also Gilbert is unkillable in AM

FEAR ME The only way to beat a pegasus knight to to out pegasus knight the pegasus knight Falcon knight bae-by! I am unstoppable I. Am absolute (I am never doing this again)

Finally got past that defend 4 spaces with 2 units and endless reinforcements

I've figured out how to level grind since same level enemies are giving like 7exp each

Alright. Taking suggestions, on how to keep hilda and judith alive in golden deers plea.  Alternately, how to kill arundel in 2 thurns without archers destroying me.  With only byleth and dimitrti.  Right now I'm thibking retribution-> byleth and gunning it. Suggestions for abilities/battalions? My current thought is vantage, alert stance+, renewal, wrath, pavaise, and evasion ring and bridgid hunters

Well i can get to arundel before hilda dies but not judith. I'm starting a campaign to save judith. Please pledge your support on the indiegogo page below

whew judith and hilda and both alive! Stride was a good idea. just make a run for arundel. Kinda sad i didn’t get the aurora shield but eh I got the stat increases at least. I also tried propping up judith with byleth healing them but tanking doesn’t exist in maddening so that didn’t work.

I've been skipping cutscenes because there’s no one else there but gilbert

Things I have learned this playthrough: how to grind skills, how to grind levels, how to save scum level ups. 

I’m actually getting a lot of dialogue I missed before just because Byleth and Dimitri are taking down every single enemy unit

At fort merceus, and i want the black pearl.  And i'd like to avoid lindhardt and caspar.  I'm thinking 1: fly over nab the pearl and kill death knight.  2: wait it out and eliminate every last unit ob the map.  What turn does death knight start running? Or is when you get to a specific part of the map?  Or am i thinking of an entirely different map...

New plan. Forget everything else and kill death knight

I have beaten the death knight. I have beaten the impregnable fortress. 44% crit rate.  But I didn't get the black pearl in the treasure chest and i want my item so... i might redo the battle

Got my pearl. for an idea what the battle is like each turn each of the 2 units needs to be on one specific tile for the best chance of survival, if they die i usually had to restart the battle or change something to get a reroll. and you do this for like 5 turns learning the combinations with a mix of guesswork and trial and error. you also need to move quickly because if 4 units surround you, you’ll be stuck until you’ve defeated every single enemy unit on the map or more likely you die.

Ok story time.  So I'm on ch 21 of AM now and aux battle no longer give me exp so my only way of leveling is healing (the exp curve is brutal). Even with the double use of bishop, i'm running down to the wire getting 1 level up/battle (plus the next battle where they gain stats for its more like 1 level/2 battles). I ran out of healing with like 500exp left to go so i restarted but by the end of the 20 heals and 10 recovers I had a different number and now I’m confused Reddit is telling me turn count? Affects exp gain?

Anyways I'm in enbarr.  One of the many wonderful things about playing with only dimitri and byleth is that you can't change their starting positions in battles

Wow i did that on my first try. O.o  Huh that actually worked... Good thing hubert is squishy. spared dorothea and petra too. huh.

I just had a realization... on the last map of AM. If I apply retribution to everyone... could I kill edelgard with that without having to cross the room? Hmmmm must try it out

Nope cant counter attack. Good thing enemy units on this map are acting defensively and only attack when you go into range.  If they swarmed me I'd be dead (again)

Once you reach a certain tile they do swam... i lasted like 4 turns... need to clear the room to stop reinforcements...

(its impossible to stop reinforcements with 2 units on maddening. once you get to the throne room a new wave comes each turn. but clearing the rooms before hand buys you time before you are overwhelmed). To give an idea of what’s going on aux battles are aprox 10 levels below my units. regular enemies are about the same level (so each is a threat and my 2 units can die on any turn) and bosses are usually a couple levels higher.

Hehehehe I am so powerful I have beaten maddening with only byleth and dimitri (Dedue came along for the ride too but was never deployed to battle)

The final AM wasn't as hard as some of the others (defending garreg mach) but boy is it long.  I think my final turn count was in the 50s.  Also the credit screen character battle  count maxes out at 999

I think I got dimitri and byleth up to like 70 base crit last playthrough. Plus wrath and defiant crit almost garunteed each hit was a crit.

nope it was more like base 120 crit

In the end for both dimitri and byleth I used rng based builts around avoid and critical hits (after i figured out what the hell i was mid way through part 1). dimitri went through the brawler line and then split time between war master and great lord. Byleth went up the thief line to assassin and then falcon knight. for both of them i also got most of the class skills.

considering this was my first maddening or classic run, I looked at 0 strategy guides (like an idiot) and had no idea what i was doing in the beginning, I’d say I did pretty well for myself.

oh and I was mistaken about something, if a unit reaches 0 hp in part one they die off screen during the timeskip (except gilbert to my despair) so there was no real point to sparing dedue. I really do hate gilbert, it seems no matter what you do you are stuck with him all of AM. there is no salvation. and this is why i skipped all the cutscenes this time around.

Dedue didn’t have much if any influence on the playthrough. Dedue was never deployed in any of the chapter battles but he did tag along as an adjunct (no weapon equipped) in aux battle sometimes because I felt bad for leaving him out all the time (that and dedue pops up later in battle on the map in part 2 and if he was still a level 1 commoner i would have 0 chance of beating the map since enemies rush him). so him leveling up was to negate the consequences of keeping him alive. If i had gotten him killed i wouldn’t have to worry about keeping him alive later. By the time I got to part 2 the skill gain from tutoring was negligible compared to the amount gained from grinding in battles, also both units were starting to max out on skills (S+) so choosing to explore the monastery gave little benefit. Interestingly, you can’t do a lot of the monastery activities if you only have 1 student (choir, dining, etc). So even after Dimitri stops loafing around, having dedue there for eating meals and stuff wouldn’t have helped and I’d choose battle anyways.

I now know more about how the game works than I ever wanted to... For example the calculations for any probability check (hit/miss, crit, level ups, pass/fail) are long done by the time you see them. so to reroll the dice so to speak you have to go back a certain amount of time (varies for each thing. Level up stats are determined before you enter the battle field so you have to reload a save on or before the preparations screen. Whether you pass/fail a certification is already determined by the time you reach as given calendar date, so you have to reload to before that day. If you divine pulse a 95% hit rate that your unit missed to right before any action is taken with that unit, they will still miss. With only 2 units you will probably have to rewind to the previous turn, but with a full party you need to go back at least a few units but I don’t know the exact number. More or less forcing the game to run at least one different probability calculation than your target will reset whatever result was determined for your target.

When you have an infinite number of iterations, even the most unlikely outcomes eventually come to pass.

This run was  60% luck, 35% perseverance,  4% "grinding", 1% skill, 100% pain

edit: 5/1/2020: looking back, i was a stubborn idiot (as usual) for refusing to look up strategies or other solo maddening runs that people had already done. i can definitively say omegarevolution dealt with the defend map far better than i did. i never even considered +20hit to deal with falcon knights

oh yeah and i don’t have dlc or the nintendo online subscription so i couldn’t use any of that.

[fantasticworldoffanfics]

PETER/STILES

                                           ——— (part 4) ——–

Fandom: TeenWolf

Even a longer list of fanfics :)….

top favourites, more top favourites, part 1, part 2, part 3

Bittersweet Creek

Author: Guede

Summary: When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.

The Glade

Author: makingitwork

Summary: We do what they want and what we want they make us want.

Hollow Moon

Author: Bootsrcool

Summary: What if Stiles got bit instead of Scott?But wait! Is that Peter? The man he gives flowers to in the hospital cause he never sees anyone give the comatose man flowers? Peter? Your awake?!Its a fix-it, cause I cant resist!

The Shepherd Boy and the Wolves

Author: Guede

Summary: After Derek’s nearly seduced by a hunter into betraying his family, his mother thinks it’s a good idea to send him out into the world and learn how not to fall for traps like that. Peter comes along, because Peter likes exploring, and that’s why they decide to explore a haunted mountain.Stiles lives on that mountain. With his sheep. They’re very tasty-looking, and well, Derek and Peter are werewolves.Hah.

Temporary Claim

Author: run_for_me

Summary: Some, of course, are off limits. Queen Talia and her husband have their special favorites who join their marriage bed from time to time. Laura has several young strapping men that are hers and hers alone. Even Derek has a few favorites—the quiet ones, the sweet ones.Peter? The Duke only has one.

Hooked

Author: Udunie

Summary: The car stopped right by him, so he pushed himself away from the wall, walking up to it, licking his lips as he saw the window being lowered.“Hey there,” he said. The first contact always felt awkward, no matter how many times he did it. But at least he knew that he would be A-okay once he was on his knees, sucking the guy like there was no tomorrow.He was a bit taken aback when he saw the driver, because… well, the man was hot as burning. Older, around forty, with a goatee and eyes so blue they sent a shiver down his spine.Stiles had the instinctive urge to back away. It didn’t add up. The guy oozed confidence, had money and was handsome. Absolutely no reason to hire a hooker, when anyone would have wept in joy to get on his dick.“How much for a night?” he asked, giving Stiles a long, calculating look.He should have just sent him away, he knew it. But the deadline on the rent was scratching at the back of his mind, not letting him think clearly. Stiles bit his lip. Fuck it.

The Pack Comes First

Author: RebaK1tten

Summary: The Hale Pack and the McCall Pack have bordering territories and both can benefit from being affiliated with each other. And the surest way to do that is for a mating between a member of each pack.

Soul Hates

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: Stiles always knew that Peter Hale was his soulmate, he just didn't expect that Peter's was somebody else.“I found the documents, Peter,” Stiles said, his teeth grinding together in a hiss. “I found them. My name was never on your arm. You. Lied.��

Wrong But You’re SO Much Fun

Author: sneksonaplane

Summary: The first night Stiles added Ian on snapchat, they sexted for half the night and he came three times. And now Stiles was...here. He’d been talking to the older man for three weeks now and was officially hooked. It wasn’t like they had anything official going, there certainly weren’t feelings involved, they were just friends who sexted a lot. And talked every night, usually until Stiles passed out from exhaustion. And he called Ian Daddy sometimes when they messaged each other. No big deal.

OR

the one where Stiles runs a porn blog and has a major daddy kink, and he starts anonymously sexting with Peter without either of them realizing it. Both of them use nicknames to avoid giving out their real names on the internet, and Peter's fake name/nickname that he uses when he first starts talking to Stiles is "Ian" because I'm garbage. Expect errors and poor formatting because I'm betaless.

Worn Out Shoes

Author: moonstalker24

Summary: When the dead rise, and the world comes to an end, the McCall Pack must learn to live in this new world, or die in the attempt. This is the story of the end, and of the year that follows.

Taste, Touch Fuck

Author: about_two_cats

Summary: Peter comes home to the smell of Omega filling up the apartment. He knows it can come from only one source, the adorable little omega he’s with, Stiles. He follows his nose and finds Stiles ready for a good fucking.

Not Meek, Not Biddable, Too Unconventional So Very Stiles

Author: ladyoneill

Summary: In a world where Betas have become the norm, but Alphas are still the leaders, the wealthy, the powerful, Omegas are very rare and the only ones who can birth or sire Alphas with other Alphas. Born to two Betas, raised as a Beta, of course Stiles presents as an Omega on his sixteenth birthday because his life sucks that way. One month later is his ceremony where technically he chooses an Alpha as his mate for the rest of their lives, and Stiles is given three options. One isn't ever going to happen, a second doesn't really want him, so he chooses the third--a man twice his age, scarred and just out of a six year coma. Scared, because he has very few rights and this stranger can do anything to him, control any aspect of his life, and Stiles isn't a stereotypical submissive Omega happy to be home ironing shirts and suckling babies, he's surprised to find that Peter isn't a stereotype either (for one, he's a damn good cook). Is it possible that his life won't suck that much after all?

Whose Woods These Are

Author: moonstalker24

Summary: Stiles chooses the house simply because it’s far enough out in the wilderness to be away. His… reticence for human contact on any given day coincides entirely with how much pain he’s in when he wakes up the morning. His patience is limited, and he has more bad days than good… So Stiles moves into an old house out in the woods like a creepy serial killer. Reminds himself that other people suck on a regular basis and just sort of gets on with it… It isn’t until after several sightings that Stiles realizes that the wolf is following him. If the wolf decides it wants to eat him, Stiles would be a pretty easy meal….

A Little Too Ironic

Author: RebaK1tten

Summary: Stiles is an omega who needs to find a trusted alpha, purely for legal reasons. Peter Hale is probably not his first choice.

Love What is Behind You

Author: KouriArashi

Summary: Basically what it says on the label. Hunger Games type fusion. Stiles doing way better than anyone anticipates. Peter finds him intriguing. Ruthless, devious assholes working together to ruin bad guys, as the Steter ship is meant to be.

Misconception

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: After weeks of trying Stiles is still unable to get pregnant. He struggles with depression and anxiety, and worries his alphas might choose to leave him for another omega.“Oh god,” he breathed, fumbling out another test from the box. He almost dropped it twice. Twenty minutes later he had another result, just as conclusive as the first. Not pregnant. Not pregnant. Not pregnant.

I Don’t Like You, But I Love You

Author: sweetbutterbliss

Summary: He smells him before he sees him, the scent competing over the sticky smell of stale beer and sweat. It smells like burnt sugar, a little bitter mixed in with the sweetness. He leaves the paperwork on the desk and steps out of his office, passing the bathrooms that he can tell Erica still hasn't cleaned.A lithe, what Peter could only describe as a boy is standing in the middle of the empty bar, one hand gripping the dolly's handle full of boxes of Hair of the Dog; one of the few werewolf beers that doesn't taste of ass. (And Peter would know.) His mouth is slightly parted as he surveys the bar and Peter suppressed thoughts of what he could put in that mouth.

Stiles the Strange Pet

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: Peter welcomes a strange new house guest.

All Hale

Author: dornfelder

Summary: Stiles wakes from the absence of warmth at his back and the sound of a toilet flushing. He moves his tongue from where it’s stuck to his palate and filling his mouth with the taste of stale death. Blinking gritty, itching eyes open, he finds the world too bright, too real to deal with just yet. He snuggles up closer to Derek, burrowing into his bulk. Derek’s reaction is a content rumble. He pulls Stiles closer. Beard stubble grazes his neck as Derek opens one sleepy eye.Wait – wait. What. The fuck?Stiles sits up. Derek’s arm falls from his waist and he watches Derek’s eyes grow wide with dawning horror that mirrors his own.“Good morning, my lovelies,” Peter’s cheerful voice announces from the doorstep. “Rise and shine. Early wolf catches the deer.”

Starverse

Author: Green

Part 1: All My Stars Aligned

Summary: Stiles needs to find an alpha ASAP. Actually, the doctors say he really needs two. Damn biology.Chris and Peter are two alphas in hopeless, doomed love with each other.

Part 2: Starcrossed

Summary: That was where it started, when their eyes met, and Chris smiled. Peter melted and fell in love in an instant, and kept falling in love every single time he dared to look again.

^sidenote: nearly made it to my TOP FAVS list

The Sphinx of Beacon Hills

Author: Guede

Summary: Stiles is a sphinx, and he’s winging his way to visit his buddy Scott when a storm drops him in Beacon Hills, the craziest, crankiest, coldest place ever. And somehow, he ends up with a bunch of werewolves.

Talia’s Master Plan For Love

Author: Irukashi_Narukib

Summary: Basically Peter wants nothing to do with this but can't avoid it. Same with Stiles but shit happens anyway. HAHA fuck them both.

Born Of Shadows

Author: xxxillusionxxx

Summary: Something is strange about Stiles and Peter is the only one who seems to notice.

Wake Me Up

Author: ToAStranger

Summary: Stiles has been in a coma for six years. Now he's awake.

The High is Worth the Pain

Author: thegirlwhoknits

Summary: Stiles is an emissary-in-training whose teacher has sent him to Peter for his first-level initiation tattoo. The only problem is, Stiles has a kind of embarrassing reaction to pain...

Suppressants are Dumb Anyway Series

Author: vaudevillian_villainess

Part 1: Good Little Omega

Summary: Stiles is such a good little omega for his Alpha.Series

Part 2: The Price of Love

Summary: Peter and Stiles have to tell everyone about their mating...fun times!

A Welcome Arrow

Author: 1001cranes

Summary: The wedding is small and grim, because Stiles is being carted off to parts unknown, married to a thirty-something year old dude who wants to marry a seventeen year old dude - totally not creepy at all. Regency AU.

Name

Author: Corpium

Summary: When Stiles goes back in time to save Paige and stop Gerard, he doesn't expect Peter Hale.

Pigments and Pentacles Series

Author: SushiOwl

Part 1: Magic Needle

Summary: “One--” He stabbed the needle right through skin and cartilage, pulling a loud squawk out of Stiles.Stiles sucked in a few quick breaths then started to laugh. “You son of a bitch,” he snorted. “You said on three.”“I lied,” Peter replied, smiling down at him.Series

Part 2: You Give Me An Oral Fixation

Summary: "So, I want more piercings.""Oh? And where would these piercings be?""Guess."

Part 3: Time To Improvise

Summary: "Want to hear something weird?""From you, I've come to expect it.""Well, this time it's about your penis.""Do tell."

Part 4: Pillow Talk

Summary: “You’re going to have to move if you want to fuck me, y’know,” he murmured in Peter’s ear.Peter smiled. “I don’t plan on moving,” he told him. “I’m so comfortable.”“Then how are…?” Stiles asked, sounding adorably confused. Peter gave him a moment, and he let out a soft ooh. Peter looked at him over his shoulder and saw him lick his lips. “You serious about this?”“I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise,” Peter told him, before he snuggled back into the pillow. “Think you can handle doing all the work?”

Part 5: Back In Black (Fur)

Summary: “What are you doing?” Stiles asked as the backs of his legs hit the bed and he flopped down on his back. “You’re not seriously going to molest me in my father’s house, are you?”“The concept absolutely tickles me,” Peter admitted, climbing over Stiles and bracketing him with his arms and legs. “I want to make you scream in your old room and know that I’m the first.”Stiles snorted. “Narcissist.”“Most definitely,” Peter agreed, leaning in to kiss him.

Part 6: Mark My Skin

Summary: There's a new wolf at the shop.Series

Part 7: Moon High

Summary: “You did that purposely, didn’t you?”“Of course I did,” Stiles said, putting his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “I know about that possessive streak of yours, and I like to see it come out.” He started to pull Peter back towards the bar.“Do you now? Do you want me to stake a claim? I could jerk off on your face right here, but we’ll probably get arrested.”Series

Part 8: And Then There Were Three

Summary: "You okay, Carina?" Stiles asked, sitting down in his chair.Carina chewed at her bottom lip a second. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you guys something," she said, straightening up. "Formally."

Part 9: You Two Are Dorks (But So Am I)

Summary: "I need an apprentice," he said as he lined up his ink cups. He wanted someone to make everything ready for him so he could focus on just the tattoos."You should make Stiles do it," Carina said, not lifting her eyes from the Plants vs Zombies design she was working on. "Since he doesn't contribute.""Hey," Stiles said, turning away from his studying to look at her. "I'm doing very important work here. So nyeh." He stuck out his tongue.Series

Part 10: Alliances

Summary: “Aw, Peter made a friend,” Stiles cooed.

Part 11: For You, For Me, For All Of Us

Summary: A few days later, the doorbell jingled, and a familiar scent hit Peter’s nose. He turned, already smiling, and there was Vince at the door, grinning ear to ear.

Part 12: Red Splash

Summary: "Can we keep him?"

Part 13: Wild Run

Summary: “I can’t just get naked in front of you guys like that, jeez,” he said, turning and heading for the trees. “I need some privacy!”“Performance issues?” Carina called after him.“It happens to everyone!” Reggie added, before he and Carina started to giggle.

Part 14: Hold Me Down

Summary: Some birthday cake and a birthday dance.

Ecosystem Engineering and the Werewolf

Author: Guede

Summary: Stiles and his dad work for the U.S. Forest Service, which sends them to Beacon Hills. It’d be nice if Stiles could stop running into the Hales. He’s got bodies to get rid of.

more fics: part 5

[mst3kproject]

812: The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and became Mixed-Up Zombies

Okay, first off, fuck that title.  You know how I write out the full title of Attack of the The Eye Creatures every time I refer to it, out of sheer spite?  I'm going to do the opposite here.  I'm not even going to type out the full acronym. From here on, this movie is known simply as Mixed-Up Zombies, which would be a perfectly good title for a movie made by somebody better at movies than Ray Dennis Steckler.  Apparently the title he originally wanted was even longer, being a riff on the full title of Dr. Strangelove. You can google if you want to know what it was, because I'm not typing that either.

The posters bill MUZ as the First Monster Musical, which is a big fat lie.  I'm pretty sure that to qualify as a musical, a movie has to include more than one song-and-dance number that helps to tell the story, in situations where no sane person would be singing and dancing in real life. Horror of Party Beach (which billed itself as the First Horror Monster Musical) is also not a musical, because its songs have nothing to do with the plot and are all performed by the Del-Aires, who are presumably getting paid for it.  I Accuse my Parents is closer to being a musical, because the songs do express the status of the relationship between Kitty and Jimmy – but it's still not quite there, because Kitty only sings as part of her job.  Mary Poppins is a musical.  Singing in the Rain is a musical.  Fucking Jeeves is a musical.  MUZ is not.

The actual plot of MUZ is somewhat mysterious.  I can tell you that this is the movie where Alex the Chimp's creepy robot double wants us to get our tickets here! and the episode in which Mike and the bots keep making transvestite jokes that really didn't need to be made, but I'm not entirely sure what's actually going on in the story. I guess there are these two carnival performers: Carmelita is an exotic dancer luring men into the clutches of her sister Estrella, who turns them into zombie slaves and sends them out to kill people. Why the two of them do this I have no idea.  Possibly it has something to do with Estrella seeing the deaths in her tarot cards.  If her predictions won't come true on their own, then damn it, she'll make them come true!

This rather vague story is told to us through a character named Jerry, played by writer/director Steckler.  He bills himself as Cash Flagg, which is only slightly less stupid of a stage name than Touch Connors. Jerry can't touch Watney Smith on the Hate-O-Meter but he still scores a solid eight out of ten – he's a rat-faced, lecherous man-child who refuses to work because “life is meant to be enjoyed”.  I imagine this is what Steckler himself would say whenever his parents asked him when he was going to stop making terrible movies and get a real job.  Jerry takes his rich girlfriend Angie to the carnival and then ditches her in order to watch Carmelita's strip show.  I think we're supposed to believe that Carmelita hypnotized him into it but nothing in his prior behaviour suggests that this isn't something he would have done anyway.  Under Estrella's mind control, he murders a couple of dancers and then almost kills Angie when she obnoxiously twirls her umbrella at him.  In the end he is unceremoniously shot by the police, who do that a lot in these movies.

One thing that is unavoidably noticeable in MUZ is that somebody, possibly the costume designer and possibly Steckler himself, has a thing about female body hair.  We never see any actual body hair in the movie (even on the men), but the female dancers wear costumes that almost seem designed to make up for the lack!  Marge the dancer's outfit consists mainly of black mesh with a few opaque patches where something naughty might show, and the bit that covers her crotch is a black inverted triangle that looks much more like pubes than it does lingerie.  I thought this might be my own pervy imagination, but then we see the lead dancer at the girlie show.  She also has a black triangle on her groin, with a feathery top to it that makes it look like her pubes come up past her belly button, plus she's wearing that feathery thing around her shoulders that often looks much like armpit hair.  I don't know what to make of this. It's really weird.

Another thing that draws the attention is how tediously uninspired the nightclub scenes are. These, as Tom Servo observed, make up a significant portion of the movie, but they're just not very interesting to watch.  The comedian has the same repertoire as your divorced uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.  Marge and her partner look like they're at their first ballroom dance class and are doing their best to follow the teacher but have no idea what's going on.  The girlie shows Jerry attend consist mostly of dancers walking in circles or doing very limited steps in place, and singers who just stand there.  It's like we're watching video of a junior high talent show.  It's hard to say who's at fault for this... the direction certainly isn't very interesting, but neither is the lighting or the choreography, and the performers are okay-ish at best.  I think we're just looking at a paucity of talent across all fronts.

The various nightclub acts are irrelevant, anyway.  They're nothing but filler, and the movie uses filler to try to distract us from the fact that we never have any idea why these things are happening.  What is it that Estrella and Carmelita are trying to accomplish through their seduce-and-zombify routine? We don't know, because the two of them never talk to each other.  The sisters ought to have some kind of symbiotic relationship.  Carmelita brings Estrella gullible men to make into zombies, and we'd assume that this must also benefit Carmelita in some way – but how?  Is Estrella eliminating competition by killing other dancers who might rise into Carmelita's starring role?  If so then Marge, who is a drunk on the verge of losing her job anyway, was not the best victim to illustrate that.  If the two of them have some kind of larger plan, like world domination (or at least carnival domination), then we never see any hint of it.

The movie would honestly have been way more interesting if it had actually been about whatever the sisters' evil plan is, but instead, it's about fucking Jerry. I think Jerry's story is supposed to be a tragedy, in that Estrella and Carmelita take this happy young man and completely destroy him, but it's impossible to make that work when Jerry really doesn't start off with anything to lose.  He has no job, no ambition, no hobbies... he seems to live as a leech on the ass of his pompadoured, foreigny friend Harold, and his idea of a good time is watching bargain-rate strippers.  There are probably plenty of real people much like him, but they're not the people the average movie-goer likes or admires. A tragic hero is a man who loses everything, but Jerry never had anything except for his romance with Angela, and he ruined that all by himself.

Jerry is not only a singularly un-likeable character, he's not even any fun to hate.  The rednecks in Giant Spider Invasion were so absolutely awful that it was a good time just watching them scream and get eaten.  Jerry is too bland for that, even at his worst.  We fundamentally do not care what happens to this asshole, and as a result, his story is not at all compelling.

As dull and unfocused as the movie is, I think it might have an intentional theme.  Recall that Jerry doesn't want to get a job – he's a free spirit who wants to do his own thing and enjoy himself.  You occasionally hear self-proclaimed free spirits refer to those of us with real jobs as 'zombies'.  Maybe this is a story about Jerry finally having to bow to capitalism, which ultimately destroys him.  The scene about Jerry's joblessness and the fact that the movie bothers to contrast the semi-squalor in which he lives with Angela's wealthy family is just enough to make me think Steckler could have had some kind of economic point to make.  If so, the metaphor is not sufficiently well-developed to really say anything, and we aren't interested enough in Jerry to care in any event.

A lot of MSTies think this movie visually resembles Manos: the Hands of Fate. The two films do share a lack of decent lighting, a warm late 60's/early 70's pallet, and a general 'somebody's last known photograph' feel.  But while Manos' cinematographer was a guy named Robert Guidry who had never done the job before and never did it again, MUZ was shot by fucking Vilmos Zsigmond. You've never heard of him, but only because nobody knows the names of cinematographers – him doing MUZ is kind of the equivalent of finding out Hans Zimmer wrote the Haunting Torgo Theme.  Fifteen years after MUZ, Zsigmond won an Oscar for cinematography on Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and he went on to be nominated three more times, for The Deer Hunter, The River, and The Black Dahlia.

Ray Dennis Steckler also kept making movies, but his have titles like The Thrill Killers and The Sexorcist. Unsurprisingly, these have been nominated for zero Oscars and are too obscure even for the Razzies.  I'll see if I can find a couple of them for Episodes that Never Were.

[notforonesecond]

The Sunshine Show A03 Link

a very rushed fic based off @dorsetti‘s headcannon

“Good morning and welcome to The Sunshine Show, with me, Robert Sugden”.

Arrogance oozes out of him as the satisfied smirk that had been perfected for the cameras sits proudly upon his face.

“And I'm Aaron Dingle.” Aaron smiles through gritted teeth, the confidence radiating from Robert irritating him already and they haven't even made it to the 8 am weather update.

Their relationship is tentative, to say the least, but they are professionals and working the camera is the one thing they have in common.

“Gorgeous morning today, don't you think Aaron?” Robert eyes him sideways, corner of his mouth curled upwards as he holds his chin high, a subtle wink to add more fuel to Aaron's hatred thrown in his direction.

Aaron bites back a grunt, busying himself with shuffling the papers in front of him so he doesn’t clench his fists in anger live for half of Britain to see.

“Stunning.” He replies with a forced smile, one he had mastered since having the displeasure of working alongside Robert daily.

There was an instant dislike when Robert was hired as Aaron’s new co-anchor. He had tried his best to be welcoming on his first day, going out of his way to meet the other man and try form some sort of bond before they went on air together.

The way he sauntered in on the first day, crisp white shirt and navy tie.  The sun hitting his skin in all the right places, highlighting his blond locks and making his green-grey eyes sparkle as they connected with Aaron's. There was an excitement building in Aaron as he stood from the makeup chair, hand stretched out in front of him.

He was attractive, Aaron couldn't deny that, the twitching in his groin was evidence enough of it. He had to bite down hard on his lip when he came face to face with Robert. He followed the freckles down his cheek, eyes scanning the length of his jaw and watching intensely as his Adam's apple bobbed each time he swallowed. Aaron had to shake his mind out of the gutter.

“Aaron Dingle, nice to finally meet-”

“He can't wear that tie, I'm wearing Navy today, change it.” Robert barked, addressing someone from the wardrobe department and not giving Aaron a second glance, before turning on his heels and back out the room, leaving Aaron's stood with his jaw hung open.

“Aaron?...Aaron?”

Robert's voice brought Aaron out of his thoughts.  Eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights when he realizes he is still on air, missing his cue on the TelePrompter, zoning out during Roberts rambling of the morning agenda.

“T-that’s right Robert, don't go anywhere, we’ll be right back!” Aaron stumbles over his words, hot under the collar as the director signals for them coming off air.

“Careful Dingle, if you have another performance like that I may have to look for a new co-anchor.” Robert was smug with his words as a soft brush drew over his defined cheekbones, highlighting them as would the morning sun on an early Sunday morning, shining through the window as they lay in bed.

“Fuck off.” Was the smartest thing Aaron could conquer up as he clears his throat, the thoughts in his head distracting him from how much Robert actually irritates him.

“And then where would my eye candy be?” Robert smirks as he stands from his chair and walks out of the room, like it’s his own personal runway.

Leaving Aaron with a clenched jaw, a dry mouth and a stiffening erection all at once.

***

Their days rarely ever differ. The stories are new but their lines almost never change, neither does their relationship.

The digs from Robert are constant, daily, usually covered with a flirty smile or a wink that has Aaron clenching his jaw and his fist. The detest he has for the other man only heightens by the day, not that the public would ever have guessed.

Their days are filled with broad smiles and shoulder nudges, inside jokes that aren't exactly inside, more read off a TelePrompTer in front of them. Robert always taking the opportunity to touch Aaron's arm, or brush against their knees. Aaron imagines its a mix of wanting to irritate him and playing up to the camera, but he'd never admit that it worked, making his blood boil and flush to his cock all at once.

Robert Sugden has earned himself the title of the biggest flirt in morning TV, and Aaron would be idiotic to think their relationship is different to any other.

No matter man or woman, Robert somehow managers to have them all falling at his feet when they come on the show. He's perfected the dazzling smile with just the right amount of mischief in. Aaron knows this because he witnesses it daily. He can't help but stare sometimes, before he's reminded how vain and self obsessed his co-anchor really is, as he inappropriately pinches Aaron’s ass off camera or whispers innuendos only Aaron can hear, making him turn a slight shade of red for all the world to see.

To say life has got a lot harder since Robert Sugden has been around would be an understatement. And it's not only thing in his life that gets hard when he's around.

Today's no different, Aaron thinks as he sits in the makeup chair of the large room, a young blonde running some gel through his hair as he sits with his eyes closed, relaxing into the touch.

Roberts nowhere to be seen, and Aaron's thankful for the few moments of peace before they go on air.

There's a throat being cleared above him and he opens up one eye to take a look, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Aaron, isn't it?” The voice asks and it's so deep and soothing that it makes Aaron's eyes shoot open and take in all of the man in front of him.

He observes. A tall, tanned brunette stood in front of him, large broad shoulders and biceps that are teasing with his shirt, almost begging to be released. His toned chest is puffed out and it’s obvious he works out. Aaron swallows hard before clearing his throat, noticing the large hand pushed out in front of him.

He takes it in his own, a firm handshake follows as he relaxes into the grip of the rough fingertips.

“Ed Roberts, I’m the new Sports Anchor, it’s good to finally meet you.”

Aaron's mouth is dry, and he realizes he hasn't replied and the other man is narrowing his eyes in confusion.

“Hi, uh - yeah, good to meet you. Welcome to the team.” Aaron smiles nervously under the gaze as the other man's face relaxes and he smiles back fondly.

“It's good to be here, I think we're going to have a lot of fun.” Ed smiles, before sending a sly wink in Aaron's direction and turning on his heels. Aaron's eyes scan the curve of his ass in the tight slacks as he walks away, his tongue slipping out to wet his now dry lips.

“On in 5.” He hears a loud shout come from behind him, startling him out of his gaze as inappropriate thoughts swim around his mind.

His day had just improved a lot.

***

“Right, let's take some calls.”

Aaron smiles into the camera as Robert follows the TelePrompter. Dazzling smiles, all porcelains teeth and meeting to their eyes and mostly faked.

It had been a long morning, they were doing a segment on modern dating and had been discussing the latest dating apps in comparison to traditional dating and Aaron isn't the slightest bit interested.

Robert had yet to wind him up this morning, the two of them surprisingly getting on and laughing along to the dating horror stories they had been sent by fans.

“We've got Brenda on the line, are you there Brend?” Aaron asks politely as he adjusts his ear piece.

“Hello, boys.” The elderly voice comes over the speakers in the studio, both men smiling more out of habit.

“Hi, Brenda.” Robert smiles warmly as he tries to bite back a laugh, a nudge of the knee towards Aaron. The woman sounds like she's closer to 90 than 19 and Robert’s about to ask her about online dating.  “So what are your opinions on Modern dating? Any horror stories?” He proceeds, as he hears Aaron snigger a little next to him before composing himself into his professional manner.

“I don't understand it all you see my dear, I think it's a waste of time. You need to meet someone and see if there's a spark there, you can’t do that over a blooming phone.” The elderly lady argues over the phone and Aaron can help but chuckle before he speaks.

“I think you're right Brenda, you never know who you're talking to online.” He replies smiling into the camera.

“There needs to be chemistry there. Like you two lads, I can almost feel the spark through my TV with you two lovely boys.” She rambles on and Aaron almost chokes on the water he was about to sip, feeling suddenly uncomfortable under the eyes of millions. He sits up straighter before scratching behind his ear. “Uh-” he shuffles some papers in front of him avoiding the camera as he opens and closes his mouth.

“Well thanks, Brenda, we make a good team don't we.” Robert chimes in, saving Aaron from the embarrassment as he flashes a grin towards him and squeezes his shoulder before turning back to the Camera. “Thanks for your call Brenda.”

Roberts still smiling, more smugly now as introduces the morning weather, professional until the very second the cameras off.

There's a fit of laughter as soon as the On Air sign switches off and he almost falls into Aaron's side as his head lands on his shoulder. “Your face - was - priceless.” He gasps between fits of laughter and there's something about how his eyes shine with glossy tears and they crinkle from the laughter that has Aaron smiling back, feeling less annoyed by the second. Roberts happiness radiating off him like rays of sun.

“Who's idea was it to take a call from a 90-year-old about online dating?!” Aaron laughs back, caught up in the moment between him and Robert as the makeup team being to pile in and fix them up for their afternoon segment.

“Whoever it was, I wanna buy them a pint, it was worth it just for your face alone.” Robert’s slapping his knee in amusement as he glances at Aaron from the side, a small brunette running gel through his hair.

“Shut it you.” Aaron nudges Robert in the side as their laughing dies down, turns to fond smiles as their gazes linger a little longer than they should do.

Robert's mouth opens, closes then opens again like he’s thinking of the right words when..

“Aaron.” There's a deep, husky voice coming from the side of the studio and Aaron's head is whipping round to find it.

Robert closes his mouth, Aaron misses the disappointed look on his face.

“Hey, Ed.” Aaron’s smiling as he stands to greet the other man, swaying slightly on his feet.

“So, you wanna grab that drink tonight?” Ed smiles back coyly, as his body sways in sync with Aaron's, his head cocked to the side.

“Uh - Yeah, meet me out front when we're finished?” Aaron suggests, biting his lower lip.

“Perfect.” Ed beams, before jogging back to where he needs to be.

Aaron stays standing as he watches him leave, a heat rising in his cheeks.

“Seriously?” Robert's voice startles him, forgetting the other people in the room momentarily.

“What?” He asks, sitting back in his seat and avoiding Robert's eyes.

“He’s a muppet.” Robert replies matter of factly, hand out in front of him.

“You don't even know him.” Aaron defends as he begins to get frustrated at Roberts input.

“Whatever.” Robert mumbles under his breath as the director starts to count them in for the next segments.

Aaron keeps his eyes on Robert, his shoulders slumped and a scowl on his face and if Aaron didn't know better he could swear there was a hint of jealousy in Robert's voice.

***

Drinks with Ed could only be described as one word. Nice.

Aaron had racked his brain to come up with something more.. exciting but all he could think was *nice.

It had been just the two of them, chatting and smiling in a small corner bar not far from the studio. Aaron enjoyed himself, although his mind was somewhere else.

Even when Ed had smiled his big pearly whites, even when his large hands came up to rest on Aaron's biceps and he fell into the pool of deep brown eyes he still couldn't shake it.

He couldn't help but think about the way Robert had reacted earlier on that afternoon. It wasn't exactly new for Robert, for him to be an ass and judge people prematurely, but there was just something about the way he said it that had the hairs on Aaron’s arm stand up and a fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

He went home alone.

Ed ever the gentleman walking him to his doorstep before a kiss on the cheek and a wave of the hand.  

Aaron cursed, thinking the distraction would do him good, instead he ended up in his apartment alone with a few open beers and only his right hand for company.

It wasn't his greatest idea.

As 6 am comes around and then pounding in his head and the dryness of his mouth screams mistake.

It takes  all his strength to clamber to the bathroom, shower and try and make himself look slightly presentable. He was thankful there was a team of expert makeup artists on hand ready and waiting for him.

He catches Robert's eye when he enters a few minutes after him, sitting in the makeup chair directly facing him, avoiding his gaze. Aaron watches as he flirts with one of the small blondes who's passing him a cup of coffee before running off at the sound of her name and Aaron rolls his eyes at the sight. Back to being an asshole then he thinks.

There's no sign of Ed so early in the morning and Aaron's actually quite thankful of that, would rather do without the awkward Hellos this morning.

The producer rushing in, ready to prepare everyone for the morning once makeup is finished. She gathers everyone together, Robert and Aaron standing side by side, shoulders brushing, it sends a shiver down Aaron's spine but Robert doesn't seem to flinch by the Interaction as their fingers graze. Still refuses to meet Aaron's eyes

“..and we have the charity basketball team in at 9, Aaron, Robert, you'll be taking part In a game.”

Aaron catches the last end of the briefing, his stomach turning at the thought.

“Basketball?” Aaron questions, his face paling at the word.

“Yes. We're doing a segment on the children charity team to help raise money, you are going to play around with them, at least try and look like you're enjoying it.” She directs the last bit towards Robert before turning on her heels. Aaron can't help but grimace at the thought of a bunch of kids running around him with a heavy ball in his hungover state.

He sighs, regretting drinking at all last night as they head for the studio, Robert still silent.

The morning segment goes swimmingly as usual, Robert and Aaron plastering on their winning smiles and reading their lines like the professionals they are.

They're getting their makeup topped up during the ad break. Their jackets are coming off and ties loosening in preparation for the activeness of the next part, and Aaron can't help but let his eyes linger on Roberts large hands as they pull at the thin pink tie around his neck. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he imagines what it would be like for his own hands to be undressing Robert, what it would feel like to touch his toned chest.

“Looking a bit pale their Dingle.”

Robert's voice startles Aaron out of his inappropriate thoughts, he swallows hard and tries to regain his composure.  

“Not feeling great, that's all.” Aaron shrugs, a bead of sweat building on his brow as he focuses hard on not throwing up all over the studio.

“Scared of getting beat by a bunch of kids.” Robert smirks, his cocky demeanor back in full force now and Aaron can't help but let out a little chuckle at the man in front of him, a warmth in his chest before they’re Interrupted by the team of kids running into the studio.

It's as bad as Aaron expected. Worse.

They split into two teams and play a small 4 on 4 March in the studio built the court, him and Robert on opposite teams.

Roberts team wins, obviously.

He finds himself hunched over, breathing heavy and sweat staining his white shirt as he focuses on not throwing up all over the small children.

He stands a bit straighter, not wanting to look completely ridiculous on camera.

Robert’s celebrating with his team, he has the smallest player up on his shoulders jumping up and down as the other two smile widely at him, all cheering. It's a sight Aaron never thought he would see, a sight that warms his heart.

He watches on, as Robert congratulates all the small player, smiles, hugs, high fives. They're all smiling largely at him, eyes full of admiration and Robert’s got an almost soft look on his face that Aaron has never saw him wear before. He can't help but stare.

They're off air now, the adverts in full swing as the children run off to get cleaned up and the makeup artist comes barging in with towels and matte powder.

Robert makes his way over to Aaron, soft smile still on his face, Aaron's probably wearing the same one as he looks admiringly at the man in front of him.

“You were great with them.” He exhales, it's almost like word vomit as he diverts his eyes quickly at how soft he might sound.

Robert just smiles shyly, scratches at his neck before standing up straighter. There's a tension building between them and it's pulling them closer, almost magnetic. He opens his mouth to reply but Aaron’s names being called again and they're both looking behind him towards the culprit.

Robert can't help but roll his eyes as Ed comes walking over in his pristine suit and green tie, a large grin on his face. It's becoming a habitat.

“Alright?” Aaron's smiling, but his face is laced with disinterest and he throws a cautious look towards Robert before turning his whole body towards Ed.

“You were great.” He smiles supportively and Aaron holds back a scoff, know he's just being nice because he really wasn't. He spent most of the match out of breath stood by the net and he's pretty sure one of his own teammates stepped on his foot on purpose.

“Thanks.” Aaron mumbles out and he can't help but notice how fresh Ed looks in comparison to how bad Aaron feels.

“Look I've gotta go, I'll catch you later.” Ed’s saying as he's jogging back to his post and Aaron doesn't bother much with a goodbye, instantly turning back to Robert.

He catches him slumping off, towards the other side of the studio, head bowed and silent, and Aaron has the biggest urge to call his name.

“Rob?.” He calls, in attempts to get the other man's attention, but it fails.

“On in 2.” The producer is shouting, shoving Aaron in the direction he needs to be.

There's a scowl on Roberts face for the rest of the day, silence takes over them other than the words they have to read off the TelePrompTer and Aaron can't help but feel disappointed, empty almost.

****

The silence lasted days, it was deafening and eerily.

Aaron never thought he'd be missing Robert’s constant smirk or annoying tints but he was, the days felt empty without them and it was all becoming too much.

Aaron's had enough, was sick of trying to coax a conversation out of Robert, was sick of his smile disappearing the second the camera was off. The urge to reach over and touch him is becoming unbearable and he needs answers.

He’s fidgeting in the makeup chair when Robert comes in early that morning, eyes glued to the floor to stop him from connecting with Aaron's.

That's all it takes to make Aaron's blood boil, fist clenching as he stands to make his way to the studio, closely behind Roberts.

Everyone's making their way out of the dressing room when Aaron takes a fist full of Robert’s jacket, pulling him back and pinning him to the wall to stop him from escaping.

Roberts' face is a mixture of confusion and Aaron as an arm pushing against his chest, jaw clenched and seething.

“Aaron, what the fuck?” Robert’s asking pushing Aaron away.

“You going to tell me what's going on?” Aaron questions, eyebrow raised and eyes narrowed.

“I don't know what you're on about.” Roberts feigning confusion as Aaron's hand finally drops from his chest.

“Have I done something to offended you?” Aaron's asking more seriously now. He watches as Robert’s face drops, eyes looking sad before it's gone  within seconds and replaced with a mask.

Robert scoffs, tries to move out of Aaron's gaze but there's an arm coming up and slamming next to his head, Aaron blocking him in again.

“Rob.” Aarons voice is soft and quiet, his hand comes up to Robert’s chest, more gentle now and their eyes are connecting for the first time in days, it almost makes Aaron forget to breathe.

Robert’s eyes dart from Aaron's own baby blues to his lips and the back again before he opens his mouth to speak. There's a stutter, a fumble over his words and he's fighting for what to say as they breathe in each other, noses almost grazing, terrifyingly close. The hair on the back of Aaron's neck stands to attention as Roberts breath tickles his lips.

“WHERE ARE MY NEWS READERS WE’RE ABOUT TO GO LIVE.”

They're getting dragged onto set, pushed into their seats as the director is counting down from 5 in front of them and their lines are coming up on the screen. Aaron's heart is racing, pumping fast in his chest as he remembers the way Robert had just looked at him, with so much want and hope.

There's so many questions, so much unspoken but what was there is evident and Aaron can't deny it anymore.

He can't think straight, his heart is pounding and his hands are sweaty as he wets his lips, chances a glance at Robert whose eyes are firmly towards the camera, not daring to look at Aaron.

Aaron shakes his head, the on air sign is flashing red in his face and he tries to regain himself, get control of his feelings before he reads his prompt, opening the show.

“Uh- Good morning and welcome to The Sunshine Show, I'm Aaron Dingle.” Aaron exhales deeply, plastering on his smile for the cameras as he waits for Robert to take his cue.

There's silence. Aaron turns towards Robert, the producer is hissing something about missing his cue but Robert’s just staring at Aaron ignoring everyone else in the room.

His eyes bore into Aaron, making him feel nervous and excited and something else that he can't put into words and it takes everything in Aaron not to grab hold of Robert there and then.

“Robert.” Aaron hisses, head nodding towards the camera and the room of people waiting on him as millions watch live at home.

Robert doesn’t speak, he just lets the corner of his lips turn into a smile, his eyes never leaving Aaron’s as darts forwards.

Within seconds his hands are on Aaron’s face and they're pulling him closer, lips taking Aaron's hostage and sucking on them lightly.

Aaron’s motionless at first, before he gives in, sinks into the kiss that makes him feel lightheaded. It's like nothing he's ever experience and the only thing that reminds him they have an audience is the countless gasps that fill the studio as they break apart. Foreheads touching and noses grazing, eyes never leaving each other.

Aaron lets out a breath, it's hot and wet on Robert’s lips and both of them smile before there's a throat clearing in front of them.

They break apart, cheeks tinged red and breathless as they turn towards the camera.

The on air sign is big and red reflecting onto their faces as the crew stand gobsmacked with wide jaws.

Robert smirks, as he catches Ed in the corner of the room wearing the same expression as he leans over into Aaron’s ear and whispers.

“At least we make good TV.”

[shadylake-blog]

I never knew this kind of misery could exist until this year. Grief is overwhelming. I can easily say this has been the worst year for my family. Every day I try and give thanks that no one else is dead, or dying (well even that is not true a couple family members not doing so well with their health but they do not have cancer or anything that awful, so I should be grateful right?) I have learned being a better person does not make your life easier. Karma does not exist. My sweet poor baby brother, only 4 years younger than me died in January to start my year off. He would be 22 right now if he would have been alive for his birthday this month. I used to love the rain, now I have mixed feelings. That day I knew something bad was going to happen. I wrote the date two times for various things and got chills each time I wrote it. I watched The Butterfly Effect, which used to be one of my favorite movies until that happened, thinking about how true it was. He passed a semi truck with a car in front of them on that rainy night in January heading west towards the coast, that day it just rained and rained and rained. It was 10PM and dark. I was on the exact same spot on the road 10 minutes before the accident, about 10 miles outside of town. He hydroplaned, rolled and managed to defy physics and come back the other direction and rolled into a telephone pole that hit the drivers side. Completely demolished the car. Passenger was unscathed. He had a pulse for 20 minutes on scene, and was never taken to a hospital at all to even attempt to revive him. Just thrown into a body bag once pulse had stopped... makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. At midnight I realized I had 36 missed calls from my mom and step-dad. I was busy arguing with my controlling gas lighting “boyfriend” about tattoos, he was made that I got them. I was thinking someone got pulled over for driving while suspended or something. I never thought about my brother dying, not once my entire life. My mom blubbered “He is dead,” I said “What do you mean?” “He is dead your brother is dead he got in a car wreck” “No it can not be him are you sure?” “Yes I am sure” (can barely understand her both of us just completely blubbering and hysterical now) “How do you know did you see him?” “The police came and told me, his wallet was on him it was his car.” Now having never dealt with death in any way shape or form, not even a distant cousin, I did not know how to react other than scream. I had a slight hope maybe someone stole his car and wallet, because the passenger was not one of his friends I knew, it was someone I had never even heard my brother talk about. But I cried and screamed for days and days and days. The next morning I immediately went out to the crash sight which was right behind my moms house across a big field and put up a cross on the pole. It was still pouring, I had another one drying at home with his name on it. The scene was horrific. They left all of his costs and personal belongings just strung out all over the side of the road.PIECES OF SHIT. After they let him bleed out. Puddles of blood all over the ground in the mud. His car title, personal mail, the coats he had on that night (the passenger posted a photo of them before they left and ten minutes later he was dying) other things he had in his car like work clothes and nails and tools, he was a roofer. He always had those rings of nails everywhere. Just left out like hes worthless trash. The lack of respect for a dead 21 year old kid you did not even take to the hospital...Fucking disgusting. I went out and cleaned everything up. I could not even see my brother until Wednesday, 4 days later. It was a Saturday night when it happened. Towing company would not even let us look at his car until Tuesday. My step-dad, mother and I looked at the car in complete horror. It looked like it been crushed. How the passenger escaped unscathed I really have no idea the entire dashboard was caved in, windshield gone. Blood all over the drivers seat and floor where they just let him lay there and bleed out. Somehow his weed pipe (that was under the passenger seat in a toolbox he was not smoking and he does not drink) was not broken, neither was his phone which was smashed in between the drivers seat and console but it was cracked. We always told each other our passwords in case something like this happened never thinking we would actually have to use it... That day he asked probably 20 people to go all day including his girlfriend, and he could not get anyone to go until 10 o'clock at night when the passenger had said sure I will go. The last thing his girlfriend said to him was “I wish you would go kill yourself”, they had been together for 3 years. I know that when people are arguing they say things like that, I do not hold it against her but its unfortunate she has to live with that being the last thing she said to him. His steering wheel and dashboard were so crushed the keys had to be forcibly removed, I still carry the sideways key around on my key chain because this has made me completely insane, as if I did not struggle enough with depression and anxiety before this from constantly being broke trying to raise a child on my own and never having daycare. That is a story for another day. But this has really fucked me up. He was not a sibling I occasionally see on the holidays, that’s who I called when I really just needed a friend. We went camping and hiking all the time together. We never sat on our phones when we went so we hardly had any pictures together. He was always there for me as a child and an adult, even though I was such a bitch when we were younger. He was always so good to me, the best brother anyone could ever ask for. I hear these people talk about the things their brothers do them, and I am like my brother would have never done that to me... He was such a good person even when people did him wrong. He had a heart of gold and was so unique he had so much potential and was just starting to grow up. Besides my child, there is no other person in the world I loved more than him. I have two other siblings but they are 14 and 11 years younger than me. I love them but I do not share the same bond and he was my only full sibling. When I actually finally got to see him at the morgue (and I was the only family member that even went to see him the rest found it too “traumatizing” I wanted to see what the hell happened) my stomach sank. It was definitely him. My poor little brother, laying on a fucking slab. I just kissed his forehead over and over wishing I could somehow blow the life back into him... I know that can never happen. He will rot in the ground forever. It was just a slight dent on his head under his hair. His beautiful brown hair. You will never convince me he should have not tried to have been saved. I have seen people survive way worse injuries but they were taken to a hospital. They literally just let him lay there until his pulse stopped. I’m too poor to afford an attorney. Just like my grandpa that I never met, but I have been told by my entire family he was beat by a bunch of police officers and left to die in the hospital. My grandmas mom was overdosed in Tylenol at the hospital and her sister died of alcohol poisoning because the hospital would not treat her. Why are the poor just left to die? Because the poor can not afford lawyers, and they know it. I visited him almost every day for the 2 weeks in the morgue, we did not exactly have 5 grand laying around for a funeral so I had to gather some money before the services. I felt awful letting him stay in a morgue that long, but my other choice was cremation which I do not believe in. I wanted it to do it as my native american ancestors did which was bury him outside in a cave but its illegal. I have seen too many cremations where people get the wrong ashes when the DNA test them and I wanted a proper burial, and a place to visit him. We built the casket since I was not paying an additional 5 grand for a wooden box with pillows in it. My stepdad found old redwood on the farm and various other woods to build it with. My brother would have liked it, because he loved to fall trees. He did it for fun almost every time we went to the woods. “Sis, lets go to the woods so I can cut down a tree.” He called me Sis even as an adult. The handles were made out of deer antlers, his first deer that he killed. I bought him a red comforter set because that was his favorite color. I dressed him in his banana pajama pants and his work shirt, because he loved roofing, and one of his cozy flannels. I hope you're cozy brother. Lots of people showed up to the funeral. At least 100 people. My boss and coworker, my brothers coworkers, all my family, even distant family we never really speak to like my grandpas brother. People I did not know. My moms ex husband (my other siblings father) and his parents came. It was a very sad day, watching my grandparents cry as he went into the ground. Everyone took turns getting up to speak. I did as well, but it took so much courage for me to get up there in front of everyone and not bawl and bawl and bawl. I have never seen so many grown men cry in my life until that day. I tried so hard not to bawl but when he went into the ground I lost it, everyone did. We waited until he was buried and smoked a joint on his grave and planted some flowers even though it was freezing and raining and cold. I really did everything I could to make sure he had a proper burial. The celebration of life was a week later, another day we had to put fake smiles on our faces and socialize. What is amazing is how many people it united. But it comes back to The Butterfly Effect, if I would have said hey lets hangout. If I would have been on that road ten minutes later, because I was right fucking there right before it happened. If anyone else would have said they would go and he would have left earlier. Most importantly, if they would have taken him to a hospital and actually tried to do something instead of letting him lay there until his pulse stopped and then throwing him into a body bag. I will never, ever forget him and will never let his legacy die.

[johnnymundano]

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Directed by Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini and Richard Stanley

Written by Scarlett Amaris, Douglas Buck, John Esposito, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Emiliano Ranzani and Richard Stanley

Music by Simon Boswell, Susan DiBona and Marquis Howell of Hobo Jazz

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 114 minutes

CAST

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer (segment 'Vision Stains')

Victoria Maurette as Karina (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

Shane Woodward as Martin (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

André Hennicke as Axel (segment 'I Love You')

Suzan Anbeh as Mo (segment 'I Love You')

James Gill as Donnie (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Debbie Rochon as Carla (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Lena Kleine as The Mother (segment 'The Accident')

Mélodie Simard as The Daughter (segment 'The Accident')

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle (segment 'Sweets')

Guilford Adams as Greg (segment 'Sweets')

Framing Segments

Directed by Jeremy Kasten

Written by Zach Chassler

Cast:

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

The Theatre Bizarre is a series of six shorts largely in hock to the grand-guignol tradition of naturalistic horror (i.e. proper ketchup, matey). I know this not because of any keen interest in French theatre but because the framing sequence is called ‘Theatre Guignol’, and it is into this terribly mysterious theatre that Enola Penny (Virginia Newcomb) dreamily wanders one decisive night. Each of the following sections is introduced by the indefatigable Udo Kier playing a big puppet (literally “grand guignol”) who becomes less puppet-like as the movie wears on and (cue wobbly theremin) Enola become less human. Which might be an artistic statement about desensitisation, but is definitely an excuse to watch Udo Kier popping robot-moves, which I think we can all agree is a good thing.

The Mother of Toads

Directed by Richard Stanley

Written by Richard Stanley, Scarlett Amaris and Emiliano Ranzani

Cast:

Catriona MacColl as Mere Antoinette

Shane Woodward as Martin

Victoria Maurette as Karina

Lisa Belle as The Naked Witch (as Lisa Crawford)

Amelie Salomon as The Monster

The Mother of Toads is apparently based on a Clark Ashton Smith story of the same name which I haven’t read, with a bit of HP Lovecraft chucked in. It features a pair of unpleasant young Americans holidaying in France, and I’m not dissing Americans there, this pair really are unlikable; Karina moans that everything is in French in France (quelle surprise!), while Martin is so anaesthetised by his own acumen he can barely push his smug words past the thicket of his trendy beard. They come unstuck when bargain hunting in a French market where a handsome older lady with a mesmerising accent saucily offers Martin a peek at her Necronomicon. Bundling Karina off to a spa Martin spends the day with the accommodating and increasingly ardent crone, drinking suspicious brews and fingering her dusty leaves. Things end badly. This was an agreeably silly creature feature with plenty of the old ugh! quotient, an endearing lack of logic and a pervading sense of encroaching doom. The humour leavening proceedings is clearly no accident; there’s an excellent joke when Martin attempts to extricate himself from a post-coital bed without waking his sleeping and somewhat slimy partner. Probably rings a few bells in the audience that bit. It’s just enjoyably daft, tongue-in-cheek stuff and a welcome reminder that Richard (Hardware (1990), Dust Devil (1992)) Stanley is still rocking his smart-trash groove.

I Love You

Directed by Buddy Giovinazzo

Written by Buddy Giovinazzo

Cast:

André Hennicke as Axel

Suzan Anbeh  as Mo

I Love You is a pretty tough watch and unusually it’s not because of the climactic gore. Axel wakes up in his bathroom disorientated and bloody; turns out he’s an insecure, self-destructive mess who has driven his lady Mo away. Mo returns to sever all ties and leave for good. What follows is an emotionally harrowing battle between two damaged people where words are weapons and the hurt is internal. As blood spattered as the despairing denouement may be the real horror is the extended verbal flensing Mo delivers to Martin, in which she destroys not only his present but also his past. And is she telling the truth? Or is it a desperate attempt to extricate herself from his unquenchable neediness? Like a fox gnawing its paw off to escape the trap? Sometimes uncertainty can be another level of horror. Buddy Giovinazzo delivers a classily acted, tautly suspenseful two-hander which leaves an emotional stain which persists for days.

Wet Dreams

Directed by Tom Savini

Written by John Esposito

Cast:

Debbie Rochon as Carla

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey

James Gill as Donnie

Jodii Christianson as Maxine

Wet Dreams is directed by Tom Savini, who is legendary in horror for his SFX work and slightly less legendary for his acting, so there’s no excuse for doing an Elvis double take at the fact he’s given himself a role and that his segment is luridly gory. He’s no slouch at directing either, which is nice. The esteemed Mr. Savini plays a psychiatrist, the kind who drinks on the job and talks about raping his mum (i.e. a movie psychiatrist), treating Donnie, a preening jackass who likes smacking his wife, Carla, about and cheating on her. See, Donnie’s having recurring nightmares wherein his sexy dream fun times climax with him being tortured and castrated by his long-suffering wife, in a series of gruesomely humorous and visually explicit ways. Gentlemen viewers may never again think of a fry-up without skittishly crossing their legs. Serves Donnie right you might think, but by the end of the dream-within-a-dream misdirection and its gruesomely pre-code EC Comics twist finale you might think again. Ugh. I mean….ugh. I...Jesus. What could have just been a gratuitous mess of general dismemberment is deftly directed by the savant Savini, resulting in an amoral immorality tale. And need it be said that his skills in the SFX dept remain second to none? No, it need not. So pretend I didn’t say it.

The Accident

Directed by Douglas Buck

Written by Douglas Buck

Cast:

Lena Kleine as Mother

Mélodie Simard as Daughter

Jean-Paul Rivière as Old Biker

Bruno Décary as Young Biker

The Accident provides a brief respite from the onslaught of sensationalistic gore, a pit stop if you will. Even if you won’t, it definitely centres around a cute child asking her blasé mother questions about mortality, said questions raised in the tiny, inquiring mind after the witnessing of an accident earlier in the day involving a deer and a cocky motorcyclist. It’s a very restrained piece, very accomplished, and softer in tone than anything before or after it. There’s a touch of grue when the deer is finished off, but mostly the horror here is the complete horseshit parents come out with to calm their offspring with regards to the ultimately absurd nature of life and death, a subject which everyone spends a lot of time avoiding thinking about on a day to day basis and about which they would rather not be cross-examined about by a child at bedtime. As upsetting as the sight of the deer’s tongue lolling out of its bug eyed head was (very), it wasn’t as upsetting as realising all the lies you have to fill your kid with just so they can function in what we’ve all decided to call reality. Compared to all that, lying about Santa Claus is a minor misdemeanour.

Vision Stains

Directed by Karim Hussain

Written by Karim Hussain

Cast:

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer

Cynthia Wu-Maheux as Junkie Girl

Imogen Haworth as Pregnant Woman

Rachelle Glait  as Older Homeless Woman

Alex Ivanovici  as Junkie Man

I have a thing about eye trauma. Not a sexual thing, a “flinch and wave your hands about like you’re warding off invisible birds” thing. It’s a running joke in the Mundano family unit; if there’s some serious eye trauma afoot in the viewing choice, all eyes fall on the father figure as he  tenses for impact. Those similarly (dis)inclined should be warned that there is a seriously impressive amount of eye trauma in Vision Stains. It’s built in as the whole episode rests on the Horror Movie Science concept of people’s past lives flashing before their eyes at the point of death. So if you extract their eye juice as they die and inject it into your own eye you will get to live the edited highlights of another life. Obviously. That sounds about as appealing as it sounds scientifically feasible, but our serial killer heroine is well into it. She basically harvests the lives of the homeless to make up for her personal shortfall in dreams. Judging by the massive pile of notebooks in which she has written the details of all the lives she has nicked, its worked out quite well for her. But people, even dreamless serial killers who prey on the homeless,  are never satisfied, so she decides to take the next step and find out what happens before people have a life to flash in front of their eyes. The results are mixed. Ultimately you can’t help thinking it would have been a lot quicker and far easier on the homeless population if she’d just read Tbomas Ligotti’s The Conspiracy Against the Human race. It’s all very silly but the po-faced approach suggests it is straining for some grandiose meaning; it fails. But it does feature a fantastic amount of eye trauma. Each to their own.

Sweets

Directed by David Gregory

Written by David Gregory

Cast:

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle

Guilford Adams as Greg

Lynn Lowry as Mikela Da Vinci

Jessica Remmers as Antonia

With Sweets, things close on a hilariously disgusting note. A deadpan Estelle and a semi-hysterical Greg talk about their dying relationship in the most banal clichés imaginable as they sit in what was once an apartment, but is now a kind of edible sty plastered with smushed up confectionery.  As trite nonsense falls from her lips Estelle slowly sucks a melting ice cream into her deadpan face. Greg flailing to rescue the dead relationship counters with the expected whiny responses, while spasmodically picking filthy sweets off the floor and ingesting them with all the automotive panache of the true addict. Their stale interactions are punctuated by a series of flashbacks  which parody cinema’s rote scenes of romance, with the pair swilling sweet shit like swilling sweet shit is going out of fashion. Luckily for Greg, Estelle hasn’t quite finished with him, unluckily for Greg he’s about to find out what that means. Sweets is pretty funny in its lip-smacking attack on love and addiction (and love as addiction), and is delightfully cartoonish in style; Estelle is often colour coordinated from hair to shoes with whatever sickly delicacy she is proffering. Of course all the comedy and caricature serve only to distract you while Sweets prepares a delightful gut punch of horror, before the management politely ask you to leave.

 TL;DR: The Theatre Bizarre: it’s worth a watch, but not if you’re squeamish.

[turntothree]

Ry& Reaction: Wolves & Shepherds

E3 came early this year! ...OK, it didn’t but it certainly felt that way, kind of.

It seems in recent years, game publishers have been tripping over themselves to take up valuable space on that pre-show hype train. I’m talking teasers, press releases, cryptic tweets and anything else they can think of to score some attention before the big three step in and snatch the spotlight. Hell, we’ve seen E3 grow an extra couple days to accommodate more publisher-sponsored events.

Editor’s Note: Really looking forward to that keynote, Devolver Digital!

A few weeks back, Ubisoft decided to do things its own way and steer the train in a slightly different direction with a bombshell announcement most other companies would save for the trade show.

Editor’s Note: NO! NO! That wasn’t released, it escaped!

Damn, man. I was just kidding. It’s going to be alright.

Anyway...this is what I’m really talking about.

Yup, the French gaming giant casually name dropped one of its top secret E3 reveals in a nonchalant tweet, a whole month before the show. But it didn’t stop there. One week later, the aforementioned Youtube suite released a...let’s call it “tourism video” for the humble little town of Hope County, Montana.  

Editor’s Note: I have a “MIGHTY” fine feeling about this place.

What? You’ve got crisp country air for breathin’, plenty of wild game for huntin, a nice clean creek for fishin’ and plenty of big ol’ green acres to roam. Of course, you’d have to overlook the constant bear attacks, air strikes, ominously empty streets and the prospect of being randomly murdered, but what town doesn’t have its share of problems?  

Editor’s Note: Wait...wasn’t Far Cry 4’s announcement handled in a similar fashion? Letting the fanbase sneak a peek behind the curtain; then slamming the curtain back down until a good and proper reveal at E3? Isn’t that what’s going on here?

You’d think so, but...

Dateline – May 26, 2017

IGN’s Daemon Hatfield and Marty Silva greeted the California sunrise with a live (and exclusive) reveal of Far Cry 5’s first proper trailer. In it, would-be players are told the sad tale of how a struggling working-class town was taken in by a wealthy con artist who promised the world.

This self-proclaimed “prophet” Joseph Seed and his twisted family of disciples preached of peace and prosperity; instead they delivered onto his flock a life of servitude and unabashed cruelty. He used his good fortune to giveith himself their property. He used his cultish militia to takeith away their free will. The chosen among “his” townsfolk would be baptised into his parish or they would surely perish.

In a town past the edge of civility, a brave few in the community have chosen to fight back against Seed’s ghoulish gospel and reclaim what’s theirs. In this holy war for the soul of America’s heart land, it is up to the player to lead the resistance. 

That’s the story (at least up to that point)...as for gameplay, the trailer didn’t show too much, but it caught fans a quick glimpse at some old and new tricks alike.

As said previously, the hunting mechanics are back, but with a new batch of wildlife to track. Bears, deer, wolves, cows and bulls are among the critters in the mix. In a similar vain, fishing will be implemented into the series for the first time. Catch and fry up some bass for hit points!

Also returning are the conveniently placed vehicles. Fast travel and open road/seas/(and for the first time) sky combat will be a breeze with your choice of motor boats, ATVs, 18 wheelers, muscle cars and fighter planes. 

Of course, the series’ standard first-person gunplay will remain locked and loaded.

Oh and the world-wide release date for Far Cry 5 has been set for February 27, 2018. The platforms in which it will be made available are as follows: Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC. Sorry, Nintendo fans. No Switch port is planned.

Editor’s Note: That’s a fair bit of information. Surely, that’s enough to appease fans for now.

Actually, Ubisoft continued the Youtube rollout with three more trailers; specifically the stories of the three main support characters as told by them in direct conversation with the player.

Meet Nick Rye: A third-generation fighter pilot who had been fortunate enough to have never seen combat, but when “Eden’s Gate” comes knockin’ on his doorstep, Nick is the first to enlist in the resistance.

Meet Mary May Fairgrave: A bartender pushed to the edge after both her brother and mother are kidnapped by Seed’s followers; now her family-owned establishment serves as a home for anyone looking to bust a cap in “Eden’s Ass!”

Meet Jerome Jefferies: The local pastor turned shepherd in wolves clothing; charged with the task of taking back the flock “father” Seed had led astray.

Monologues aside, the folks at UbiBlog also had the chance to catch up with Far Cry 5 Creative Director Dan Hay, who discussed the modern day anxieties, urban legends and Montana road trip that inspired the game’s theme and setting. That interview was also posted to Youtube.  

Editor’s Note: ...Anything else?

Then the press releases rolled out and the media was all over it.

Details of full campaign co-op; a customizable protagonist (who also happens to be the sheriff’s deputy); and so much pending controversy plastered the headlines.

Oh yeah, and there has also been some talk about melee combat specific scenarios being worked into the game. New weapons such as baseball bats, sledgehammers and pitchforks will be implemented as part of the series’ inventory.

image credit - 20th Century Fox

Editor’s Note: Wow! That’s an awful lot to tell so soon. What’s left for the E3 showing?

Actually, there’s still plenty to juicy reveal tidbits to share. Like say, an in-depth look at “Eden’s Gate”. We know so much about the heroes, but we haven’t really seen much of anything concerning the big bads, nor do we know the why or how of their hostile takeover.

There’s also the new feature Ubisoft promised to show off during its presser. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say it’s either the campaign’s co-op option or the flight mechanics.

Editor’s Note: Even still, why reveal so much about the game now? Why not leave it all as a major E3 surprise?   

My theory, the publisher wants the press to focus its collective energy on whatever new Ubisoft IPs (and or Assassin’s Creed sequel) premier that fateful day, so it’s trying to answer the more common Far Cry questions ASAP. Also, all this Far Cry hype sure makes for a damn fine centerpiece.

...

Editor’s Note: Thoughts on what you’ve seen and read so far?

 *Sigh* I guess I should start off by addressing the elephant in the room – the story.

For all of the hullabaloo, it’s nothing new. The town overrun with zealot cultists ranks among the classics of horror tropes, and stories (subtly or not) inspired by political unrest are certainly commonplace, even in the world video games.

Editor’s Note: And they’re only going to get more common over the next, let’s say four years?

While these character archetypes and plot devices may seem a tad (or more) over done, that doesn’t mean they can’t be used to tell a good story. In fact, I trust Ubisoft Montreal to do just that. That’s not to say I didn’t have any reservations or crack a joke or two at first glance, but the deeper the Youtube showings went, the more invested I got.

Hearing the stories of Nick, Mary and Pastor Jerome gave me Goosebumps, and I instantly wanted to know more about what was going on and how they aimed to deal with it.

Editor’s Note: Forget this customizable protagonist nonsense, Ubisoft. Rip-off Rockstar so I can swap between these three heroes!

The villains on the other hand, I have no real opinion of, yet. Sure, Ubi is more than capable of creating the type of sinisterly charismatic baddies this plot calls for (shout out to Vaas and Pagan Min), so I feel “Eden’s Gate” has plenty of potential. However, I can’t judge Seed or his siblings sight unseen.

...Promo images excluded, of course.

Editor’s Note: Speaking of elephants, Far Cry 4 let me wreck shit on elephant back. Surely, Ubisoft can’t just expect me to go back to primitive man power.

I don’t believe the southern United States is an elephant’s natural habitat.  

Editor’s Note: i dOn’T bEliEVe tHE SoUtHERn UnITeD StATeS iS aN eLePHaNT’s nAtURal hAbITat.

...

OK, so Montana isn’t normally thought of alongside the exotic locales the series is known for, but the more I’ve thought it over, the more I’ve come to realize it’s the perfect setting for a Far Cry game.

It’s beautiful and serene territory hosts some gorgeous natural splendour...it also has some hidden and very real dangers entrenched deep within its forestry and rocky domains. The ravenous wolves, perilous coyote packs, rabid dogs, wild bulls and massive grizzlies will be just as, if not more formidable than the tigers and honey badgers of previous games.

If you’re luckily enough to be the hunter, as opposed to the hunted, you’ll be able to score some prime cuts of meat for health boosts, and some fine pelts for crafting items.

Of course, there’s also the option to fish for some grub. That could be fun for a bit.

Editor’s Note: As long as it’s SEGA Bass Fishing quality and not Sonic Adventure quality, I’m totally up to do a little fishin’.

Not to mention the prospect of being hunted down by a bunch of gun-toting manics does compliment itself rather terrifyingly well to the whole outdoor survivalist angle, much like the militants and royal guardsmen of entries 1-4.

Yeah, the setting might be a little different and the enemies might be a little different but this is still very much Far Cry, with all the fun DIY M-A-Y-H-E-M that comes with it.

Speaking of what makes Far Cry - Far Cry, let’s talk vehicles. This pitched selection is cool as frig!

Tarring through the countryside in a muscle car or big rig, and the promise of delivering some cathartic death from above sounds absolutely sick!

Editor’s Note: Hopefully, the air battles can match stuff like Ace Combat or Battlefield 1. Now that would be sick.

Anything else...oh, right; campaign co-op. It’s a great idea!

I can’t recall the number of times I played through a mission in Far Cry 4 only to find myself completely surrounded and desperately wishing I had back-up. The ability to call in a buddy should certainly make breaking through those impenetrable compounds at least a little bit more bearable.

Editor’s Note: This all sounds rad...still wish I had my elephant though.

...

I honestly don’t quite know how to cap this off. I guess I could say:

Far Cry 5 has all the potential in the world to be a great action game, as its pedigree can attest. The guns, explosions, fast rides, deadly beasts, and vast destructible set pieces are all on lock. It has all it needs to kick ass and take names. But its creative direction is taking the series into some unknown and fairly risky territory.

There’s certainly plenty of potential in the characters and setting presented, as I’ve said earlier. However, the direction the game seems to be heading could cause a drastic tonal shift that throws the entire thing off kilter. This building sense of horror, sorrow and despair, and to have it all inspired by today’s political climate could put a major damper on the aforementioned ass-kicking and taking of names.

It’s going to be tough and sadly, it might even get a little ugly, but Ubisoft has a rock solid creative team and I do believe they can make these pieces fit into something truly great. At least I hope so.

...

...

Boy that sure was some dark stuff. Let’s lighten things up next time by battling it out Poké-Style!

[kaimaciel]

@the-river-dream-shore thanks for tagging me :)

Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions i mean you can tag other people then :)

1. coke or pepsi?

Coke

2. disney or dreamworks?

I lean more towards Disney.

3. coffee or tea?

Coffee. I literally can’t survive without it. I only drink tea when I’m sick. 

4. books or movies?

I read more than I watch movies.

5. windows or mac?

Windows. Mac doesn’t support most of the programs I use.

6. dc or marvel?

It depends on the year and the media. In the last few years, I was definitely a Team Marvel girl. I loved Journey into Mystery, Young Avengers, and the first half of Loki Agent of Asgard, but then most of the characters started to get replaced, the comics became too preachy and condescending, reading them didn’t appeal to me, it only made me angry, not to mention the never ending Events. Right now, I don’t read a single Marvel Title. The Marvel Movies, on the other hand, are all a must see! I absolutely love them and it’s amazing to finally share my geeky passions with my friends who didn’t read comics until now.

The opposite happened with DC. Their movies are boring, dark and depressing (I hope Wonder Woman is good!), but both their comics and video games are amazing. I love what they’ve done with Jason Todd (Red Hood), Young Justice is an amazing series and I’ve played all the Batman Arkham games and Injustice. Overall, I think DC is now more focused on good stories and good characters. 

7. xbox or playstation?

Playstation. I’ve had them all.

8. dragon age or mass effect?

Neither. 

9. night owl or early riser?

I try to go to bed early because I have work early in the morning, but given the choice, I’m a night owl. 

10. cards or chess?

Cards. They’re more fun, especially with a large group. 

11. chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate. I only eat vanilla icecream when it’s mixed with chocolate.

12.vans or converse?

I don’t know what those are :/

13. fluff or angst?

angst enveloped by hurt and comfort with a tear-jerking happy ending.

14. beach or forest?

I live near the forest, so I’m used to seeing it all the time, and I love it. Beach is something I crave every summer, but then get tired of. I’m almost albino, sun light is painful to me.

15. dogs or cats?

Both. I always had a dog and lately, we’ve been adopting a few stray cats. My cat just had 4 kittens and I wish we could keep all of them. They’re so cute.

16. clear skies or rain?

Clear skies. I find rain depressing unless I can stay warm at home and watch it fall from my comfy chair.

17. cooking or eating out?

Eating out, usually. I’m not much of a cook and I hate cleaning everything the kitchen. 

18. spicy food or mild food?

Mild food, spices don’t sit well with my gastric system.

19. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas?

We don’t celebrate Halloween in my country, but Christmas is always a huge event, even though is so expensive and exhausting. 

20. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot?

Neither! I like mild temperatures. 

21. if you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Telekinesis and the ability to shoot power blasts from my hands!!

22. animation or live action?

Animation, mostly, but somethings I would prefer live action now that I’m older.

23. baths or showers?

Showers. I usually don’t have the time for a bath.

24. team cap or team ironman?

Team Cap (the original Steve Rogers though).

25. fantasy or sci-fi?

Mostly fantasy, but I’ve begun to enjoy sci-fi too.

26. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they?

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. — Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. - Airplane

Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent. I'm talking about him. Just him. And doing it because... Because he took me away from you. - Batman Under the Red Hood

27. youtube or netflix?

Youtube

28. harry potter or percy jackson?

Harry Potter. I never read Percy Jackson (I was going to read Magnus Chase from the same author buuut... he made Loki the main villain, so that’s an automatic NO for me).

29. when do you feel accomplished?

When I finish what I set out to do and succeed 

30. star wars or star trek?

Star Wars. 

31. paperback or hardback books?

Hardback! I love them, except for the paper cape that keeps falling out when I read.

32. horror or rom-com?

It depends on my mood, but I love both.

33. tv shows or movies?

Movies. It takes a lot of time for me to get invested in a tv show

34. favourite animal?

Dogs, cats, magpies, deer, dolphins, red pandas...

35. favourite genre of music?

All genres, again it depends on my mood. Except for Pimpa. 

36. least favourite book?

The Twilight series, Fifty Shades of Grey, 

37. favourite season?

Spring, when there are flowers blooming everywhere and the weather gets warmer.

38. song that’s currently stuck in your head?

Amar pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral, our Portuguese Eurovision winner. I’ve been listening to covers of his song in other languages and I’m so happy people like it enough to honor with a cover. It fits with any language. 

39. what kind of pajamas do you wear?

Matching set pajamas or an oversized T-shirt in the summer.

40. how many existential crises do you have on an average day?

Twice a week, just a few minutes of self-loathing when I’m lying in bed, but nothing big.

41. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?

Our funerals only sing hymns so I would choose O come, o come, Emmanuel.

42. favourite theme song to a TV show?

Biggest Dreamer - Digimon Tamers 

Go, Go Power Rangers!

43. harry potter movies or books?

The books were better. It all looked better inside my mind. 

44. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it?

Pairings are important for a while, but then we move on to another fandom and find new ones. So I would keep Tumblr.

45. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it?

I had piano lessons, but I’m awful. I also played the flute in middle school.  I wish I could learn to play the violin.

46. what is the worst way to die?

Either burned or skinned alive.

47. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do?

Probably watch a bunch of movies for free.

48. If you could have personally witnessed anything in history what would it be?

I would have liked to take a tour on the Titanic, visit every single room.

49. If you could understand animals but you could never understand humans again, would you?

No. I need to understand humans, and it’s probably best if I don’t know what my dog and cats think of me.

50. What is your most favourite album currently?

None.

51. What is your favourite word/phrase/colloquiallism? Name one (or more) per language you speak c:

Água mole em pedra dura, tanto dá até que fura -it means with persistence, everything can happen

Antes só que mal acompanhado - means better to be alone than surrounded with people who don’t give a damn about you.

52. What mythical creature would you like to be able to transform into?

Either a Dragon or an Angel

Thanks for the challenge. Here are y tags:

@virushoney @thenightling 

Please tag me so I can read your answers ;)