#and i wont have time to REget ready
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it is barely 8 am and the univer is t e s t i n g me i SWEAAAAAAR
#first i have to be up at 4am to take my dad to the airport#then i get home with an hour and 10 mins left before i have to go to work but i can't go back to sleep bc i already got ready#and i wont have time to REget ready#THEN i get to work and cannot get onto my laptop bc theres something funky with the docking station that gives me battery power and internet#THEN once i get IT to help me with that#my normal desktop computer FREEZES while i am in the MIDDLE of working on this document#and thankfully it wasnt long since the last time i hit save but STILL#so i shut my computer off EXCEPT AT FIRST IT GIVES ME THE STUPID ASS 'DRAG THIS DOWN TO SHUT OFF PC' BUT HELLO ITS FROZEN I CANT DRAG SHIT#so i figured out how to shut it off#and i finally got it shut off but then i turn it back on and. the screen is still black#so i go bug the IT guys again and i bring one back to my desk but the second we get there OF COURSE the screen has reloaded#except i didnt completely waste his time bc it was STILL frozen#he fixed it thankfully#BUT JFC NO MORE#GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE#mack rambles
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So i wanted to bring this up last week but we ran out of time...the dwayne and justin thing Nd my intrusive thoughts
Im scared what if the grass inst greener on the other side what if i fuck up big time
I say this often I felt like i have been dating him and his parents this whole time and now I can even see my resentment for both him & his family
Part of me really feels like hes going to change soon. Last night i walked in on him applying for stuff at like 12 am
He is going on walks with me
He wants to cook more
My brother said id given him a million chances to grow up and this is very true but i really feel like things could really start changing...im afraid im walking away when things are just about to get good... I can see somewhat of a bright future but I wont know for sure till we get our own place together.
But iv been saying that for quite some time...once we get our own place things will change...11yrs later not much has changed...and i cant take it anymore... Iv come to a point where im ready to move on but not sure i will be able to without looking back with regets or worry that I made the wrong choice. i need to be sure.
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