#THE NEW SEASON IS ALREADY MOST LIKELY GOING TO PREMIER ON OR RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY IT NOW LEGALLY NEEDS TO FEATURE CUBFAN135

[funkyplantguy]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CUBFAN135 SAID THAT THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE HE'LL BE IN THE NEXT LIFE SERIES

[ncisfranchise-source]

When Mark Harmon first read the guest role of Naval Criminal Investigative Service special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs on JAG in 2003, one thing stood out immediately.

"The name caught me," Harmon, who couldn't have known then what a TV mainstay Gibbs would become, tells PEOPLE. 

NCIS, on which Harmon starred for 19 seasons until 2021, remains one of TV's most popular crime franchises. It also hit its 1,000th episode this April and has spawned four spinoffs.

Now, a fifth, NCIS: Origins, set in 1991, follows young Gibbs. 

"It's an NCIS-verse you haven't seen before," says Austin Stowell, 39, who inherits the character. Harmon, executive producing and narrating the new series — and appearing in its debut episode on Oct. 14 on CBS — agrees. “We're not trying to do something over again.”

For Stowell, leading a highly anticipated network prequel is “the opportunity of a lifetime.” Watching the two-part premiere, he tells PEOPLE, proved emotional. “I was a mess at the end of it.”

To breathe new life into an iconic character, Stowell “had to become Gibbs’ biggest fan,” he adds. Luckily, in Harmon, he had a mentor with a lot of experience. Ahead of the Monday, Oct. 14 premiere, PEOPLE caught up with the duo for a sneak peek at NCIS: Origins.

PEOPLE: Mark, what do you remember about casting Austin as a 1991-era Leroy Jethro Gibbs? HARMON: I felt the room jump a little when Austin came in, before he said anything. He walked out and someone said, “I'll just say it, that's a movie star.” And there was heavy competition there. There were a lot of good [actors in contention]. 

Austin, what about your introduction to your character?  STOWELL: If I can start imagining myself as [a character], in their shoes, then I know it's working. I read the first episode, and right away there were lots of parallels to my life. I knew the show, I knew the character — not as intimately as I do now — but just as I started to turn the pages, I had these moments over and over again, saying, “Oh, I know this guy.”

So how did you go about approaching playing a younger version of Gibbs, this icon Mark brought to life? STOWELL: I knew I had something that I could bring to the character that was very real, that was palpable. But I also knew that I was stepping into a character that was creative, created and filled out and beloved by this guy for 20 years. And I wanted to pay homage to his acting talent. So I wasn't doing an impression, but I was trying to encapsulate who I thought Mark was. And I do that every day now. He leads by example. We're all here because of him. I think about him constantly. [To Harmon] I dream about you. Which is — HARMON: A little frightening! STOWELL: I dream about the show, almost every night. He's given me the greatest gift that I could ask for… This is the Gibbs who's making mistakes, who's living with ghosts and trying to put his life back together. And that's a lot of fun for me to play. HARMON: Austin has to birth this guy. He's got the challenge and also the gift to be able to play this guy younger and to be able to let him be the newbie.

Talk about balancing making a different show with inheriting such a beloved TV franchise. How are you thinking about its legacy? STOWELL: What the mothership [NCIS] did so well was create this feeling of family. Like you knew the characters that you were inviting into your home. And I think that's a big difference between films and television, especially episodic television like this. You choose to turn on the TV when you have your intimate moments with your family. It's time when you're cooking dinner, it's time when you're relaxing after a day of work, sitting on the sofa with your loved ones. That is a big responsibility for a show like this.

Does that ever feel daunting?  STOWELL: No, it's not. It only means I have to come to that level. And that's okay with me. I like reaching for a bar that's higher, that fuels me when I get out of bed in the morning. The fact that I know that there's 300 million people out there who are waiting to see what this is only makes me fight harder and make me want to fulfill their expectations. HARMON: He's got his eye on the ball. In some ways, it gets bigger every day, the responsibility of it. But right now he's just trying to make the work be the best it can be every day. That's got really nothing to do with what you do in acting class. It's got more to do with who you are as a human being. STOWELL: I got to be writing all this down! This is another part of the value that Mark brings to the table is that he comes and talks to all of us… Immediately, I store all that in my head. I've never been on a show like this. I've never been a [number one on the call sheet] before. This is all brand new to me. So he comes to offer that kind of advice and that immediately, I store all that in my head. 

What is the Origins shooting schedule like?  HARMON: They're working long hours right now. They're working night hours. It's all part of it. STOWELL: You're going to work every day. I wake up, I train, learn my lines, go to set. Wash, rinse, repeat, Monday through Friday. HARMON: And you get questions like, "Well, how do you handle that?" STOWELL: You just do.

What is your favorite thing about creating this new show? STOWELL: We've all worked really hard at this and we're trying to get it right. It looks beautiful. I [am] just really happy for all of our crew, that it's going to be something that we're all going to be proud of... I've gotten to know them, so many, really intimately, I know about their kids and their plans for the weekends. It's not lost on me that a big part of that responsibility is to keep everybody at work. I like that responsibility. It gives me great purpose. I don't just go to work for me, I go to work with everyone… I've been able to concentrate on what I need to concentrate on because I do feel like I have a safety net. HARMON: When I was selling shoes, I used to always look at my watch and I'd go, "Lost four hours today. Where are we going to make that up?" Guess what? At a certain point you stop looking at your watch. Maybe sleep is a little overrated. You care about your crew… You walk on the set, you can feel it. STOWELL: We're a family already. HARMON: And if you can bring that to it too, what Austin's talking about, then you venture into the territory of something special and it becoming a little more than a job. This is a place where everybody's busting their tail because they want it to be good. It’s not about a paycheck.

[celestial-specter]

I haven’t seen it as much online these days, but when season one was still airing, I often saw criticism that the batch, other than perhaps Hunter and Omega, ‘lacked character depth.’

It was something I didn’t think too much about at the time, but now, on my final re-watch of the whole show before the final season begins (😭) I couldn’t disagree more.

Sure, as there is so much action and plot occurring during the series premiere Aftermath, there is not much screen-time remaining to dedicate towards the emotional depth of the characters.

However, I’m a huge fan of the ways writers can use unconventional methods to show audiences the traits and roles of characters; As the bad batch are soldiers in every sense of the word, I believe there is no better way to highlight their individual personalities and talents than to show it through their battle strategy.

So, if you’re like me and love both star wars and unnecessarily in-depth analysis, I present…

Aftermath’s battle simulation: How one scene reintroduces us to Clone Force 99, and possibly foreshadows later events in the series.

(Part 1)

Across all star wars projects, the empire is always presented from above (in the context of The Bad Batch, think of the broadcast of Palpatine shown to the clones earlier during Aftermath, Raven’s Peak towering over the cloud cover on Eriadu, and Mount Tantiss surging over the natural jungle on Weyland). During the battle simulation, Tarkin watches from the viewing platform above the training ground, suggesting this scene will illustrate how the batch will respond to the new power of the empire.

When the team first enter the training ground, Hunter is the only one without his helmet on - he is already more humanized than the rest of his brothers. Of all the team, Hunter is the one who looks most like a ‘regular’ clone, despite his obvious attempts otherwise. He understands the importance of humanizing himself and his brothers - when he tries to save Caleb on Kaller, he removes his helmet in an attempt to get through to him. In this scene, Hunter only puts on his helmet and regains his status as a soldier when it is clear that a battle is about to begin. Even this small action could be interpreted as showing that being a soldier is not what Hunter truly wants, whereas the rest of his brothers are satisfied to continue in the way of life they have always known.

Once the battle begins, Hunter gives his brothers no instructions besides ‘You know what to do.’ Even as their leader, he trusts his team enough to know that they will succeed without his direct intervention. Even without a clear approach in mind, they all fall into places without any preamble - showing that Hunter is correct in his assessment of the situation, and that his brothers know each other well enough to do so without guidance.

The positioning of each member at the beginning of the battle is also important- as they move to the barrier, Echo, Crosshair and Hunter go left, while Wrecker and Tech go right, as seen below.

These positions could be indicative of their current roles within the squad at its peak. For example, the split between the right and left side could represent their difference standards of morals. Hunter, Echo, and Crosshair have, at this point in the series, been shown to be the most complex and strong willed members of the team - it is clear what each one of them believes in, and each one of them is unafraid to speak up when something goes against their personal moral code. This this shown prior to this point during Aftermath, as most of the discussion over Order 66 is between this trio, while Wrecker and Tech seem to be simply going through the motions rather than challenging them.

This is not to say that Tech and Wrecker do not also each have strong personalities, but so far they are much more focused on their individual interests than the morality of their lives as soldiers and their prospective roles in the formation of the new empire.

In this formation, Hunter is caught in the middle of all of his brothers, a position he is often placed in during group shots throughout the series. In this scene however, he is closely drawn to Crosshair’s side. Hunter’s reaction to Omega has shown that he has complex feelings about children being on Kamino, likely an attitude he has formed due to his own upbringing on the planet. It can be assumed by CT numbers that Crosshair (CT-9904) is the youngest of the batch, explaining the close yet intense relationship shared between him and Hunter.

Echo is also on the left side, but remains on the outside of the group. This could be interpreted as Echo simply arriving late to the batch and their having to reform this battle strategy to include him, but I prefer to think of it as a way to highlight Echo’s continued isolation, even amongst his brothers.

The placement of Crosshair between Echo and Hunter is also interesting. Echo, who has always been very focused on rules and regulations, and Hunter, the leader of a squad who openly flaunt their ability to break them. This positioning could be indicative of Crosshair feeling torn between two places, and his emotional conflict due to the effects of the inhibitor chip.

Located on the right side, Wrecker and Tech are both much more placid and easygoing. They are both often involved in childish bickering (as is Crosshair), but these two are never typically involved in intense conflict as the others are. As shown by the batch’s first appearance in The Clone Wars, Wrecker can be quick to anger when his brothers are threatened, but is easily dissuaded from violence by Hunter. Meanwhile, Tech is attempting to stop the fight from occurring in the first place, and is seemingly averse to conflict unless he deems the situation to be inescapable without it (e.g. the cafeteria fight).

Wrecker and Hunter are technically next to one another, but there is a huge space between them. To me, this gap represents the difference in their personalities as a result of their upbringing. Wrecker truly symbolizes the more easygoing, often-childlike comedic character, while Hunter is burdened by his concerns and responsibilities for his family. The pair were shown to have a closer relationship during their arc in The Clone Wars, with Hunter joining in with the jokes and antics of his younger brothers, and assuring Wrecker that he will beat Crosshair’s kill count during their next mission. In this scene, the space between them could foreshadow the upcoming degradation of their relationship due to the rise of the empire.

Tech is also on the outside of the group, but on the complete opposite side to Echo. Interestingly, since their very first meeting, Tech and Echo have been shown to have quickly developed a close relationship, with Tech being the main clone (other than Rex) to liberate Echo from captivity. The pair being on opposite sides likely is due to their similar technical skillsets but opposing ways off approaching situations- Echo is shown to possess a great deal of tact and patience when it comes to other characters such as Omega, whereas Tech can come across as nonchalant and uncaring at times. These positions also highlight how these two are the most independent of the group, both of them having no issues in leaving to compete missions alone.

[horizon-verizon]

I'm still on my self-imposed Tumblr writing break but I had to share this comedy gold mine where Condal tells us all about "impostor syndrome" before I'm overtaken by the urge to write an essay on it instead. I have no time to cook. Fortunately, we've been served a meal on a silver platter.

https://bigthink.com/high-culture/house-of-the-dragon-ryan-condal/

House of the Dragon, which premiered in 2022, might have continued that [Game of Thrones] trend. Instead, the show proved a return to form, offering the same Shakespearean dialogue and political intrigue that made people fall in love with Martin’s fictional universe back in 2011. The second season is just as good, if not better.

I can see that this is going to be a very fair assessment of Condal and his work.

“Every day,” Condal confesses when asked if he suffers from imposter syndrome. “For me, though, it was less the scale and scope of House of the Dragon and more its visibility that intimidated me."

😭😭😭 It's okay! He wasn't worried about whether he'd do a good job! He was just worried about how visible his ingenious work would be.

Appointed for his encyclopedic knowledge of Martin’s oeuvre, Condal has — in his own words — “played with fire” without getting burned. In the following interview, he demonstrates his mastery of Westerosi lore and explains why all history – real or imagined – ultimately amounts to propaganda.

The business major is about to tell us about historiography. The question is, does he understand historiography? Or does he think he's inventing a new concept?

Condal is a relative newcomer to television. In his previous life, he graduated from Villanova University with an accounting degree and spent eight years working in pharmaceutical advertising — quite different from working as a Hollywood showrunner, but not entirely unrelated.

Yes, we know. It's actually very related. Especially the way Condal does it. I'll also point out here that his university was a private Catholic institution. I don't feel the need to connect those dots right now.

"I also learned to compromise, adapting your writing to clients who aren’t always going to love your brilliant, avant-garde choices. That’s the talent-studio relationship, right there."

I... this tells us two things about the writing process and attitude behind it. Two things we already knew. But... it's sure telling.

"I was able to navigate challenges that some of my colleagues with filmmaking and art history degrees maybe weren’t prepped for."

In theory, nothing wrong with this^ statement. But in context...

While some criticism is valuable, too much can lead to creative paralysis. “I tend more towards the negative than the positive, so I made a conscious decision to stay away from social media when I got this job,” Condal says. If anything, he believes the healthy distance he maintains between himself and his audience has improved the show: “Audiences think they know what they want, but sometimes, they have to be given what they need instead."

I repeat my prior sentiment.

Ultimately, Condal’s own passion for Martin’s writing outweighed any doubt he had about his own. “I’m trying to make the type of show I would enjoy as a fan, which I am. And while I realize my ideal fan show will be different from someone else’s, I still think that it’s a good true north heading on my compass. Actually, I think that’s why HBO hired me in the first place.”

Oh, we know.

“It was hugely intimidating, moving to a new country [the U.K.] and working with a new but also hugely talented crew that I had to — not tell them what to do, exactly, but lead them; collaborate with them. I definitely had to earn my place, but think that — because I came in with a clear vision of what I wanted for the show — those relationships were easy to establish.”

Make it stop.

The most important part of making a successful fantasy show isn’t the sets, costumes, or special effects, but lore. Fictional places like Westeros have their own unique cultures, customs, and social institutions, all of which help create the illusion that this fantasy world is as real and complex as our own. To transfer that illusion from page to screen, the writers must know Martin’s work as thoroughly as Martin himself. “It’s not just me,” Condal says. “We are all deeply entrenched fans of George. One of our writers has worked with him for many years. If I’m a graduate in Westeros studies, she’s an archmaester,” referring to the order of academics sworn to advise and educate Westeros’ nobility.

Well that explains why they're worse than Gyldayn.

Condal: “Textual references are best done in light touches to remind people that this is a fully realized society with hundreds of years of mapped-out history to it. And you don’t need an entire scene to do that. Instead of writing, you can communicate details environmentally through props like heraldry. For the fans, these little touches tell them they are in good hands. Better yet, they know the details are there just for them, the hardcore fans. For everyone else, the casual viewers, this stuff is flying by 100 miles an hour, and they probably won’t notice it. But it’s there.”

Again, there's nothing wrong with this^ in theory. In. Theory.

“I’m definitely an architect,” says Condal, “and I think I have to be as a screenwriter, because our life is so deadline-driven. The literal definition of a playwright, W-R-I-G-H-T, is ‘one who builds plays.’ A dramatic writer is almost by necessity a structuralist, and I very much fall into that camp.”

Now wait for it... wait for it... Keep in mind these are Brinkhof's (article author) words. But wait for it.

Martin, by contrast, identifies as a gardener. While this writing style — with its many unexpected twists, turns, and deaths — helps explain what made Game of Thrones so successful, it may also have been responsible for the show’s eventual downfall. Sticking to Martin’s analogy, “gardening stories” grow like trees, their narratives branching out in an exponential number of paths, making them difficult to finish. As of today, Martin has spent more than 14 years on the next installment in the Song of Ice and Fire series, his prolonged bout of writer’s block forcing Weiss and Benioff to come up with their own ending.

No words. Now back to Condal.

“The advantage we have over them is that we’re dealing with a finished text, where they were working with an unfinished, living work,” Condal says. “Where the Game of Thrones team had to trim down 5,000 pages into a few dozen scripts, we’re challenged in the opposite direction, turning around 100 pages into a multi-season arc of television, and that requires a lot of invention.”

Oh? So... you do know where it's going. Which means your "inventions" should... probably lead there?

Condal treats Fire & Blood like a real-world historian might treat a manuscript from the Middle Ages. “These three writers all had personal agendas which, to me, seem to reflect one of the main themes of our show: powerful women living in an unbreakable patriarchy. The writers, particularly the priest, appear to blame the war on the squabbling between Rhaenyra and Alicent.”

No comment for now. No... comment...

House of the Dragon pretends to show the real history that Fire & Blood recorded and distorted. Some events happen the way the one of the three authors describe it, while others contain elements of all three conflicting accounts. Others still indicate that none of them got it right. As a rule, every character in the show is far more complex than the jester, maester, and priest made them out to be.

I... I... I... I... I...

“Alicent can be the stereotypical evil stepmother at times,” says Condal, “just as King Viserys, played by Paddy Considine in season 1, can come across at weak. However, the thing that in-universe historians don’t get about Viserys is that he was carrying the burden of a prophecy passed down through generations and couldn’t tell anybody about it. A lot of his supposedly weak decision-making was actually in service of this secret prophecy. We were trying to show that there was more to him, that multiple things about him could be true at the same time.”

Must... Resist... Urge... To... Write... Essay...

“We have to arrive at the same endpoint as the book,” he reminds himself. “Whoever George said becomes king must become king at the end of the war. Hopefully, though, we have a bit of latitude leading up to that, to show how history has been interpreted differently at different times by different historians. I realize I’m playing with fire, but it does excite and fascinate me — to be able to comment on how history is made, not just this fictional history, but all history. It’s all propaganda to some degree.”

😭 The clownery.

Historiographers weep.

@rhaenin-time, you must be stopped. Ryan should be , too, but you have decided to bring me in close proximity to this nonsense. I am sitting here, eating chewy ChipsAhoy, and you came in here like a wrecking ball with this news....I hate you. [read, this is a joke]

I don't think I'll be able to address every thing I want to address in this. I want to be done with this show, I have been tired since the 6th epi of the last season.

Condal is a relative newcomer to television. In his previous life, he graduated from Villanova University with an accounting degree and spent eight years working in pharmaceutical advertising — quite different from working as a Hollywood showrunner, but not entirely unrelated. [...]

I also learned to compromise, adapting your writing to clients who aren’t always going to love your brilliant, avant-garde choices. That’s the talent-studio relationship, right there. [...] Audiences think they know what they want, but sometimes, they have to be given what they need instead."

Who tf does this man think he is?!!! Yes, I needed mother-son coochie eating. I needed to have a brown girl erased for a rapist to become a family man with a sick child. I needed Cole fucking Alicent at least 3 times instead of a brown haired Targ make instrumental alliances with more people to add to his stepfather's armies in the Riverlands. I needed to see nonexistent and sterile parallels. I needed to see a black woman be burned alive when she actually died at least surrounded by family, her ignored by her husband so his later marriage to a white girl be that much more special. I needed to see a disabled man jerk it over a queen's bare feet like she's in OnlyFans and doesn't know where her next meal is. I needed to see a pretten prince jerk it over a window and barely even tell what his brother was doing later with Vhagar instead of another preteen girl bond with the most powerful dragon of the then living ones. I needed to see a woman so much more hypocritical than her book counterpart be framed as one of the wisest women to exist while she praises Jaehaerys I of all people for having a peaceful reign as if his decision to have that council have no bearing on the burgeouning war coming up right now.

He can't even properly write character ACRTION as opposed to REACTION (Seth Abramson's article on substack):

Appointed for his encyclopedic knowledge of Martin’s oeuvre, Condal has — in his own words — “played with fire” without getting burned. In the following interview, he demonstrates his mastery of Westerosi lore and explains why all history – real or imagined – ultimately amounts to propaganda.

And yet Daemon dislikes his daughter or grow impatient with her bec she doesn't have a dragon....while he only claimed one at 16 or a bit younger with Caraxes AND Targs don't actually bond with dragons in the cradle that often, actually usually doing it in preteens to teens AND Aegon I definitely had to bond later in life as well. And said that Aegon I lived/was alive when Old Valyria still existed. Allowed Criston Cole to be called Dornish both by Alicent and the fans without giving us any explanation or exploration of that identity esp when canonically he came from the Stormlander part of the Dornish Marches. "Encyclopedic" my nonexistent ballsack! He has no authority to claim that F&B is so unreliable that he can't tell truth form agenda-motivated fiction and then claim himself intelligent or "brilliant" at the same time!

"avant-garde"...yes bc it's so revoluntionary and creative to have a man lick his former home from his own mother in a "vision". As if making a woman her son's character tool wasn't something HBO already did with its female characters and perform male gaze....okay...As if he's special and different from other male writers and it not just keeping with ASoIaF adaptation tradition. It added so much to the story other than the sick eroticism of something already cleared up last season.

I definitely had to earn my place, but think that — because I came in with a clear vision of what I wanted for the show

No you didn't. If you did, you wouldn't have had a such a problem with the pacing, the numerous inconsistencies, plotholes, the [if true] possible merge of Rhaena and Nettles and many episodes would't contradict each other as if one writer disagreed and vetoed another. And you'd see why/how show!Rhaena's purpose must be kept more or less the exact same as her in the bk for the post-Dance environment. We'd have Maelor. We'd have Daeron mentioned and described much earlier, not as some sort of random ass surprise that is bound to thrown so many locals off when he does appear.

If I’m a graduate in Westeros studies, she’s an archmaester,” referring to the order of academics sworn to advise and educate Westeros’ nobility.

....what the fuck does this even mean?! There are no fucking graduates of anything in Westeros and there are no archmaesters of real life bc the set ups in education of EU medieval history vs Westeros are so different it's not even funny. there are no universities for one to even imagine there are Westerosi "graduates", and there is no way you can tell if a graduate would be more or less educated than a grandmaester, bc we don't have rules of "graduation" or gradations of maestership. the modern school system can never be properly equalized in structure or depth or habits to Westerosi maestership, the instituton.

Therefore trying to create some sort of analogy as if grads exist in Westeros by immediately using "grandmaester" for another you're aligning yourself with is just so stupid. worst part is, I know exactly what he's trying to say, but his use of this device is so wrong, that I'm mad and ure people will just take this at face value instead of see how inept this man is with literature analysis and thus creative writing. Reminds me, ironically, of his saying he's inspired by PARADISE LOST in writing S2...if you don't sit yourself down to hell, sir!

Martin, by contrast, identifies as a gardener. While this writing style — with its many unexpected twists, turns, and deaths — helps explain what made Game of Thrones so successful, it may also have been responsible for the show’s eventual downfall.

And there it is, Ryan is prepping to use the ole fan excuse of "not much story left" excuse people had for D&D, and it makes sense how he would considering how F&B is considered to unreliable to adapt even the clearest events and characterizations as they are given....

[golbrocklovely]

this is about luke newton and the fans/bridgerton fandom

i'm very new to all of this so i'll be honest up front, i don't know everything. so maybe that alone is why i shouldn't say anything, but i feel like i gotta add my two cents since everyone else already is too lol

i keep seeing over and over again that for some fans, luke "ruined" part 2's airing bc he was seen out with his gf. how some have worded it, bc he was seen out the night of it's airing, he had the attention, the six months of pr and promotion that he and nic spent go down the drain all over a couple pics of him and his gf somewhat holding hands.

and to that i say…. are yall fucking nuts??

respectfully, the average viewer, which is the majority of ppl that watch bridgerton, don't give two flying fucks about the actors or more specifically who they are dating. so if you personally feel like the season or part 2 was ruined bc he was seen out with someone - that most have you have known about since like new years, if not before - i need you to come back to reality. luke is not colin. he did not betray pen or nic by having a love life that doesn't consist of either of them. if you genuinely feel like him being spotted a couple hours after the premiere of part 2 with his gf somehow destroyed all of the work he and nic did (along with the cast and crew), i need you to explain how any of that is possible. the show still exists. part 2 still aired swimmingly, and is getting record breaking numbers.

i think some of you got so lost in the sauce of nic and luke and them possibly being a couple that when part 2 came out and they didn't announce that they were together and in fact the complete opposite happened - yall didn't know what to do with yourselves. so instead of just taking a step back and realizing that maybe you read this situation wrong, you are now blaming him bc you decided to pay more attention to his love life rather than the show you guys spent two fucking years waiting for.

and look, i love nic and luke. and i would love for them to date. but reality is that's not what THEY want, as of right now. if that changes, awesome. if it doesn't, also awesome. if you can't handle two real life ppl making decisions for themselves that have absolutely no impact on you, go outside and TOUCH GRASS.

luke is not an asshole for dating someone. luke is not an asshole for having the friends he has. he's not an asshole for not promoting bridgerton as often as nic. he's not an asshole for wanting his life to be private. and on top of this, yall know literally nothing about his gf. everything that is known are conclusions or assumptions you are jumping to bc god forbid he might be happy with someone that isn't nic.

imma need yall to parasocial your ass to a therapist rather than luke. consider doing that. bc to all the outsiders (like me), you sound fucking CRAZY lol

[foreverjustaplace]

The Bear, Season 3 PREDICTIONS

OKAY! So with The Bear premiering slightly earlier now, I wanted to go ahead and get my predictions (and maybe some delusional wishes) out on here because I just saw the still where Syd and Carmy are drinking tea after Carmy gets out of the fridge and I definitely had Syd being there when he got out of the walk-in. I never did get my fanfic out before the new season (although who knows. There’s still time!) so I hope I’ll still be in the headspace to finish it after I see the new episodes!

I would LOVE to see everyone’s predictions, too, so add them in the comments or create a post and tag me!

My Predictions:

Let’s start with Sydcarmy first. Oh, hell. This season is going to be one that drags us through all of the emotions. It’s already giving angst galore from all of the promos. A lot of us are worried about this ship, but I have to believe that while Storer may have not initially been on the sydcarmy train, we have a believer in Calo and loves love. We’ll be okay but it’s not going to always be pretty. We’re about to go through it, 100%, but I think the arduous emotional jouney will be worth it in the end (the end perhaps not being this season…). 

As mentioned, I predicted to myself that Syd would be waiting for Carmy when he finally is freed the walk-in refrigerator before I saw the image. To add to this, I believe this will be a very tense moment. Syd is incredibly disappointed with Carmy, but we’re going to get a hellava moment between the two in the very first episode. This moment is going to show just how deep Syd’s love (and I actually do mean in the friendship sense here) runs for Carmy. Despite Carmy already fucking up by not get the fridge fixed, we will get to see Syd give Carmy more grace than he deserves. But she is going to be skeptical as hell of him. He is going to seemingly change overnight and ignore all healthy ways of coping and go straight into this maniacal version of himself. 

They are about to put us through a Sydcarmy fight for the ages after Carmy does his whole partnership shit. But when I tell you this is going to remind us of the most dramatic romances we read on our Kindles, I mean it. Imagine this trope as one of those whole ass agreement list things that one or both of the romance leads (in a friends to lovers, especially) have. The agreement is done when the friends have an insane, amazing friendship and there’s more there, obviously, but they’re afraid to admit it. Sometimes they truly don’t even know that they like each other! In the case of Carmy, he is so avoidant of all of his feelings, he doesn’t even allow himself to think he likes her in this way. And even if he does recognize it, he certainly doesn’t know how to properly channel that into a romantic relationship with Sydney but he is 100% cognizant of the fact that he doesn’t want to lose her. That he CANNOT lose her. This agreement is done under the guide of a professional work agreement, but what he is proposing sounds more initamiate this just a work agreement. I honestly think it’s going to be jarring because on one hand Carmy believes this will lead to a star, but on the other hand what he’s trying to do starts to look and sound more like a non-platonic relationship.  

There is going to be a DREAM sequence that will make sydcarmy shippers happy. I just have this feeling or maybe this is me in delululand. Look. There were one too many damn dream sequence jokes for me to not take it seriously. I’m always a big believer that dream sequences should go big or go home; in fact, I’m trying to go through all of the dream sequences I’ve watched before in my head right now. I can’t think of one that did not involve kissing OR the wake-up-right-before-they-kiss moment at least. Think back to last month’s Polin (Bridgerton). I hope we get the kiss but I’ll even take the latter. BUT I’m going to go big and say that this may not even be a all heated and sexy dream. Um. What if it’s a Sydcarmy wedding!!!  

Syd and Carmy will sit next to each other at the funeral. There will be some comforting hand holding that is going to put us in a chokehold. I think Syd cries and Carmy comforts her. 

Ya know how Carmy helped Claire move whatever the hell furniture last season? Yeah, we’re gonna see a parallel of the moving thing when he helps Syd. We’re gonna get a Sydcarmy moment inside Sydney’s apartment and they’re going to talk about the future. This will be a great scene and will be use in all the future edits for sureee. Fantasyland me wants Carmy to say some shit like, “Syd, I don’t even know why you didn’t just move in with me?” “Carmy, use your head. You have one bedroom ? ? ?” “I would’ve taken the couch, nbd.”

Carmy sees Syd’s tattoos. I hope!! Perhaps this is in the dream sequence? Or maybe they have an actual conversation. Carmy tells Syd what one of his tattoos means. She does the same. But, forreal, this is a headcanon for me. 

To end the season, Syd and Carmy forreal do something that makes it hard to deny they are 100% in the platonic love category. They kiss and there is a conversation that rivals the under the table scene. Richie is the one who helps them get to this point. 

Sydney makes the decision to step away from Carmy a bit. Does she go to Ever? God, I hope not. But I think her health problems are going to be crazier (PLEASE STORER do not make her sick!!! I beg you!) and she can’t deal with Carmy’s shit any longer. I honestly think we’re going to see the season span months and the angst will be rough. Hopefully it’s one of those, “Three Months Later” things so we don’t actually have to see it. LOL Just get me to the end. 

Carmy is about to piss everyone off. I think we’re going to see Tina, Natalie, Richie, Sweeps, even Pete get into it with him. 

There will be a good number of flashbacks this season:

*Mikey in his last few months, weeks, and/or days leading up to his death 

*But also we’ll see some fun, sweet memories involving Mikey. Moments with Richie, Nat, and Carmy.

*Carmy as a chef before The Beef/The Bear. I’m so looking forward to these! 

*We are finally going to see Syd’s mom in flashbacks! 

Emanuael and Carmy meet. Syd’s dad will not like Carmy. He’s not gonna be impressed at all. They are going to talk and Carmy is going to do everything in his power to convince Emanuel he will be better for Syd and that she’s everything to him. Emanuel is going to give him some advice to win over Sydney. 

Richie is going to start dating and at least semi-successful. I think his redemption arc is still happening and specifically related to his relationships. Not gonna lie, I do actually like the idea of Jess and Richie and so I’m going to keep that in the mix and say Richie is the one who sets up Syd with the Ever guy. Richie will attend Tiff and Frank’s wedding. 

Syd and Marcus grow so much closer. Syd is going to serve as a supporting, loving friend to Marcus. They’re going to bond over the dead mom club. It’s going to be wonderful to see their friendship.

Donna is there for Nat. Perhaps she goes into labor and Donna is there to ease her nerves. It’s a wild moment for sure but a pretty poignant one. 

Luca. Dude. I don’t even know. I LOVE his character. I want him to, like, I’d love for him and Marcus to hook up. That would be the absolute best. Hell, I’d really love for Luca to be Sydney and starting flirting with her and with get to see jealous!Carmy! (PLEASE!) but I’ll settle for some flashback scenes. I guessss. Perhaps Luca comes help out at The Bear? I’d love that.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that The Bear will struggle greatly and close. I cannot deal with this LOL. I don’t want this to happen so I’m not going to predict it, but I think there will be some struggling. 

Tina’s story is gonna be emotional. Her journey into the kitchen is going to be one that happens because she desperately needs a job. We’re going to see her with Luis’ father. We are going to see her with Mikey. We’re going to see that she has always been bright and so capable. 

Claire. Man. I don’t like that she is even in this season, but I appreciate a great story and don’t think we can fully wrap this whole thing up if the walk-in fridge breakup was it. Fak is starting to get on my last nerves with his matchmaking shit lol but I think we will see Claire in at least a slightly different and enhanced light. Chris Storer is intentional in everything he does and I don’t believe for one second this doctor can be so surface level. Carmy may have this guilt eating him up and his trauma keeping him from  wanting anything good, but ultimately Carmy doesn’t actually want her. She’s meant to represent this nice person and serve merely as (physical) relief. But I don’t even know. I don’t think she and Carmy are endgame at all. I want Claire to tell Fak to stop his nonsense. I want her to understand her worth and not go back to Carmy after he said all of this shit about her (and not just because I love Sydcarmy but because I’m for the girlies knowing their worth!). 

What I would really love to happen is Claire cursing Carmy tf out. I’d love for Claire and Syd to have a one-on-one conversation and Sydney says something that exposes how she feels about Carmy to Claire. Awkwardness ensues. 

Okay. Damn. I started typing and I couldn’t stop. It was as if I was ten years old again and typing my predictions for the upcoming Harry Potter book. Dang. Take me back to those days! Those prediction threads were unreal. Tell me your predictions! 

[twopoppies]

Would you have a rolling stone subscription or any of your followers please? https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/american-idol-lgbtq-contestants-1235027350/

It doesn't seem to be behind any sort of paywall for me, but I tend tp be cautious when reposting entire articles because blogs have been taken down for it before. Here's most of the worst of it, though. DM me if you want more and can't access it.

Travis wasn’t aware that he couldn’t carry a tune until his audition aired on TV a year later, in January 2006. Seated in the living room of the same halfway-house counselor who had driven him to the audition, he thought to himself, “God, I do suck.” But the realization was too late. His phone was already being blitzed with calls, first check-ins from friends and family members and then requests for interviews with People and Us Weekly. Soon after, Travis says the LGBTQ+ advocacy group GLAAD (which did not respond to a request for comment on this story) telephoned with the offer of taking action against Idol on his behalf. He thought to himself, “What the fuck did I just do?”

The public reaction to Travis’ off-key rendition of Whitney Houston’s 1993 single “Queen of the Night” is perhaps most succinctly summed up by the title of a YouTube video of the tryout: “American Idol Audition Boy or Girl.” Travis wore bell-bottom jeans in a feminine cut and a white tank top to his audition, pulling his wavy blonde hair behind his ears. Simon Cowell, infamously the harshest critic among the show’s original trio of judges, appeared horrified by the sight of Travis, his mouth agape. After Randy Jackson, the panel’s swing vote, kicked things off by asking the contestant to say “something interesting” about himself, Cowell asked, “That’s necessary, is it?” Cowell proceeded to stop Travis in the middle of his performance, which he called “confused.”

Travis has come a long way since Idol. After pivoting to a successful career in gay porn under the name Kirk Cummings, he retired from the adult entertainment industry and now works as a dog groomer, a profession he finds peaceful. But even 19 years later, he finds the footage of his audition tough to watch. As he left the studio in tears, editors added the theme music to The Crying Game, the 1992 film that uses the sight of a trans woman’s body to shock viewers. Today, Travis presents as male and uses masculine pronouns, but at the time of his audition, he had hoped to someday transition. He even had his new name picked out: Kelly. When he was incarcerated, others would try to dissuade him from pursuing a future as a trans person by telling him that it’s a “really hard life,” and Idol seemed to prove them all right. 

“I thought, ‘Wow, if this is how my life’s going to be, then I don’t want any part of it,’” he says. “My experience is not the normal experience of a trans person, but because I had chosen to be on a television show, I saw the worst of it.”

Open cruelty is no longer part of the Idol brand, now that the show is in its second run on ABC after Fox canceled the long-running program in 2015. The series, like much of contemporary reality TV, now trades on positivity, and the annual tradition of airing bad auditions has long been discontinued. But during the height of its popularity in the 2000s, schadenfreude was a major part of the show’s appeal. While launching the careers of instant household names like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, Idol was also the show where tens of millions of viewers watched Cowell tell Season Three contestant Heather Piccinini that she’s “ugly” when she sings and belittle Season Five’s Crystal Parizanski for overtanning; he even pulled Parizanski’s mother into the room to humiliate the contestant further. The show’s June 2002 premiere, in which Cowell advised a young woman to sue her vocal coach, made it clear what Idol would be selling.

That feed-them-to-the-lions approach made Idol the number-one program on TV six years running, the longest stretch at the top in broadcast history — but the show tended to prey on its most vulnerable contestants, perhaps unwittingly. Idol producers were forced to issue an apology after Cowell compared Season Six hopeful Kenneth Briggs, who has facial malformations due to Aarskog Syndrome, to a “bush baby.” Season Five’s Paula Goodspeed took her own life outside judge Paula Abdul’s home in 2008 after Cowell criticized the contestant’s metal braces following a performance of the Creedence Clearwater Revival/Ike and Tina Turner standard “Proud Mary.” Goodspeed was reportedly an obsessive stalker who changed her given name in tribute to Abdul, and the contest judge publicly criticized Idol’s producers for not doing more to protect her, saying she alerted them to Goodspeed’s behavior prior to the audition. (A spokesperson for the show did not comment on Abdul’s accusation at the time.)

Among those most targeted by Idol’s alleged abuses were anyone who was outside of the norm, as defined by the extremely narrow standards of Bush-era popular culture. This often included contestants who were experiencing mental health issues, individuals with disabilities, people of color, and plus-size singers like the late Mandisa Huntley, the Season Five contestant of whom Cowell infamously asked: “Do we have a bigger stage this year?” But Idol enjoyed a particularly contentious relationship with the queer contestants who hoped that the series would offer their big break into an unforgiving industry, many of whom had only started to come to an understanding of their LGBTQ+ identities. In another exchange condemned by GLAAD, Cowell told Travis’ fellow Season Five hopeful Charles Berry, who now is an out gay man, to shave off his beard and “wear a dress,” saying that he would make a “great female impersonator.”

Keith Beukelaer, whom Cowell famously called “the worst singer in the world,” knew immediately after his Season Two audition that it would end up being broadcast. “It’s something that I don’t know if I ever fully recovered from,” he says. “I remember it as if it was yesterday.” A devoted Madonna fan, he performed “Like a Virgin” in a green mock-turtleneck sweater, gyrating his body in sync with the song’s suggestive lyrics. Beukelaer has come to understand himself as having Asperger’s Syndrome, although he didn’t have the language for it at the time, and he came out as gay a few years after appearing on the program. He still struggles with the notoriety that his brief appearance on Idol brought, the decades of mockery that followed six minutes of air time.

Cowell did not return multiple requests for comment for this story. Neither did Jackson, longtime host Ryan Seacrest, or Idol creator Simon Fuller — who based the show off his own U.K. series Pop Idol, which aired from 2001 to 2003. But a source close to the production, who requested not to be named in this story, defended the show by affirming that “every single person who came on Idol, whatever their race, color, creed, or sexual preferences, was placed squarely in the firing line for Simon’s barbed critiques.”

[...]

What was a queer paradise for some, however, was a nightmare for others. Of those who spoke on the record, many say that Idol effectively forced them into the closet, and they believe it’s because the show was fearful that an openly queer contestant would alienate the show’s largely conservative viewership.

[...]

There was no rule saying that queer contestants couldn’t discuss their personal lives, but some singers say that Idol made it clear that some things were best kept secret. R.J. Helton, who uses they/them pronouns, went back into the closet and started dating a woman before they auditioned for Idol’s first season, hoping to make their family happy. Helton’s parents always envisioned that they would become a pastor or a Christian music artist, and when Helton’s boy band, the Soul Focus, went their separate ways, competing on Idol felt like a logical next step. Having recently broken things off with their fiancée, not wanting to live a lie, Helton began seeing their Idol stand-in during the season. Although they kept the romance a secret from producers, Helton says the other contestants knew. “None of them cared,” they say. “It was the first time that I felt accepted by a group of people.”

Idol producers never found out about the relationship, but the stakes were nonetheless made clear when executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, the show’s most influential creative voice, pulled Helton aside after seeing them exchange a friendly peck on the cheek with a male member of the crew. “Listen, we love you,” Helton says the producer told them. “We think you’re great, but let’s continue on the sweet side, with the Christian boy thing.” In their on-camera interviews and stage performances, Helton says they tried to tone down their natural ebullience, “butching it up” and staying as quiet as possible. A team of publicists, they recall, followed Helton everywhere “because they didn’t want me to break character.” 

In an email to Rolling Stone, Lythgoe asserts that he “never stopped any contestant from coming out” and says he “never would have done so.” “I did work with a number of individuals who, sadly, were struggling with issues around coming out, and I provided feedback that was very common at the time: that they should let their talent do the talking and not allow others to denigrate them based on their personal lives,” he says. “If anyone was hurt by my advice on those issues, I can only apologize, but I only ever wanted to help and support the wonderful young people who competed on the first seasons of Idol, several of whom, tragically, were torn between a desire to live their truth openly and a great fear about how they would be treated on returning home by their families, by their communities, and even by God.”

Helton, now with the clarity of hindsight, wishes they’d had the confidence to present their full self to America. After being dropped from their record label following a 2006 interview in which they came out as gay, Helton recently came to the realization of their nonbinary identity. “I know it was a different generation, but there are parts of me that think: ‘If I could have worn a gorgeous evening gown with a full beard, I could have won,’” Helton says. When producers would tap them on the shoulder to remind them, “Hey, we don’t talk about this,” it made Helton scared of losing the only affirmation they’d ever had. “As a young person, that really plays with your psyche, especially when you’re not used to the spotlight, loads of fans, or the money. You just do what you’re told. I don’t know if that’s selling your soul to the devil, but it did feel like that. They lifted me up, put me on a pedestal, and told me that the pedestal will only be there as long as I play this part.”

Helton’s fellow Season One cast member Jim Verraros has spent years in therapy working to unlearn many of the unfortunate lessons he says Idol taught him, namely that it wasn’t OK to be himself. That education began with the Pygmalion-esque makeover given to the show’s aspiring superstars: Idol immediately traded in his nerdy aesthetic — wiry glasses and jean jackets with the collar popped — for a generic rock look, sleeveless vests with leather cuff bracelets. He got contacts, lowered his voice half an octave, and put away what he calls the “theatrical and stage part of me that comes also from having deaf parents and being expressive.” “It comes at a cost,” he says. “When you’re told that you aren’t enough — or that this version of you doesn’t work — you spend a big part of your life taking parts away from you so that you can achieve those dreams.”

Although Verraros made the Top 10 of his season, he struggled with the role created for him, and the miscasting of a nebbishy gay Midwestern boy as a conservative-friendly heartthrob led to friction with the show’s creative team. Former co-host Brian Dunkleman, who emceed Idol’s first season alongside Ryan Seacrest, says he overheard Cowell and Randy Jackson discussing plans to directly target Verraros, hoping to get a strong reaction out of him that they could film. “We’re gonna nail Jim,” he recalls the judges saying as they were having coffee in an Idol break room. Cowell tended to reserve his harshest critiques of the show’s inaugural cast for Verraros, and following that discussion, he told the contestant live on air, “I think if you win this competition, we would have failed.”

Idol did get the emotional reaction it sought from Verraros in a scene that ultimately landed on the cutting-room floor. Prior to the announcement of the season’s Top 10 finalists, Dunkleman says that Cowell informed the contestants they would be using the “judges’ veto” to oust one of them from the show. “Jim, you’re out of the competition,” Cowell told Verraros, prompting the young singer to burst into tears. (That’s when Dunkleman recalls that Lythgoe came over and instructed everyone to sing a modified version of the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” to brighten Verraros’ spirits. “Cheer up, sleepy Jim,” fellow contestants sang together in unison.) For reasons that are unclear, Lythgoe opted to backtrack on the judges’ decision, Dunkleman says, allowing Verraros to move forward to the next round after all. “Later that night, I was at dinner and I got a pretty frantic message from Nigel saying, ‘Look, there’s been a change. Jim is back in the competition. Just please don’t tell anybody about anything that happened today,’” Dunkleman remembers. “And then the next night he made the Top 10.”

Those incidents, Dunkleman adds, played a major role in his decision to part ways with Idol, calling the program “evil.” He also recalls that a judging panel needed to be refilmed so Cowell could call Helton a “loser” instead of a “monkey.” “That’s what it was,” he says of Idol. “It was about how mean they were. It was about how shocking this was and how much they were making fun of these singers.” He isn’t sure, though, why the show singled Helton and Verraros out in particular. “Is it conscious targeting or is it subconscious? That kind of undertone, maybe they weren’t even aware of it.”

[...]

AMERICAN IDOL often strained to fit queer contestants into an instantly recognizable mold that producers could market for the widest possible audience. Simon Cowell declared that he would quit the program if Sanjaya Malakar, an affable Season Six hopeful with a perpetual smile, won the competition. Malakar, who is half Bengali and performed with the Hawaii Children’s Theater during his time living in Kauai, was unlike any singer the show had ever seen. He was earnest and goofy, striding up to the judges’ table to dance with Paula Abdul during a performance of Irving Berlin’s “Cheek to Cheek.” He also straddled the lines of gender, flat-ironing his chameleonic locks for a winsome cover of John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World To Change.” After weeks of all but begging viewers to vote Malakar off the show, Cowell commented regarding the latter song: “Maybe it’s your hair that’s keeping you in. I don’t know.”

Malakar came out as bisexual many years after Idol was over, finding himself after taking a job at a karaoke bar in New York where he found freedom in anonymity. What was hardest for Malakar to navigate, he says, was not the constant scrutiny from Idol’s judges but the vitriolic reaction from fans. A MySpace blogger vowed to stop eating until Malakar was sent home, although the contestant outlasted the hunger strike, which ceased after 16 days. The website Vote for the Worst, which urged fans to subvert the Idol system by keeping on its quirkiest and most divisive contestants, took up Malakar as a personal cause.

Looking back, Malakar believes that it’s the ambiguity of how he presented that bothered people so much. The judges and viewers just couldn’t figure him out because, as a 17-year-old kid who hadn’t graduated high school yet, he hadn’t figured himself out. “There was no way to really understand how to define me,” he says. “They didn’t know what culture I was. They didn’t know what sexuality I was. They didn’t know what genre I was. I was this anomaly that made people uncomfortable.”

The queer singers who had the most painful time being reshaped by the Idol system were those who stood out the most, whether they were flamboyant and over-the-top in their performance style, like Malakar, or their gender presentation skewed toward the effeminate. Season Eight runner-up Adam Lambert — who declined to speak for this story, citing his shooting schedule for The Voice Australia, on which he is a judge — has said that queer contestants who didn’t have the ability to hide were used by Idol as “comic relief.” “Anytime someone came on the show that was perceived to be gay or it was obvious enough that they were gay, they were a joke,” he remarked to the British music magazine NME in a 2018 interview. He added: “To be fair, some of them weren’t great singers, but there were a couple of really good singers that came on. And they weren’t taken seriously.”

To illustrate his point, Lambert noted the example of Adore Delano from Seasons Six and Seven, who would later contend on the reality competition show RuPaul’s Drag Race. Delano declined to participate in this story, but in a 2023 Instagram video publicly announcing her transition, she said that she went back into the closet to compete on Idol. Appearing on the show led her to suppress her transness in order to present herself as “something that was so uncomfortable,” she recalled. And yet her effervescent femininity couldn’t be contained: During her second appearance on Idol, she performed a sassy rendition of “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley that Cowell deemed “hideous” and “verging on the grotesque.” Delano was ultimately eliminated from the Top 16 after a performance of Soft Cell’s queer anthem “Tainted Love” that Cowell declared “absolutely useless.” She dyed her silky hair purple for the number.

Like Delano, Atlas Marshall auditioned for Idol twice, making it to the Top 36 in Season Eight and then trying out again for Season 16. Both experiences were extremely fraught. Following a performance of Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” during her first appearance on the show, Cowell looked at Marshall and remarked, “I think you probably would.” Even as a guileless 18-year-old with frosted emo bangs and angel-bite piercings, Marshall realized it was a “loaded comment.” “The joke around that song is that it’s about anal sex,” she says. After the audience booed Cowell’s remark, Ryan Seacrest, then the show’s sole emcee, invited Marshall to come sit on the judge’s lap, but Paula Abdul intervened and beckoned the contestant to rest on hers instead. Marshall was voted off Idol the next day.

[...] Marshall’s mother, who recently passed away, was a lesbian, and she raised her child in a queer household where it was OK to be “open, flamboyant, and fabulous,” as Marshall recalls. Being taught by Idol that the outside world might mock the parts of herself she was taught to embrace was a rude awakening. “For so long, there was a lot of shame around it,” she says of her first Idol experience. “I felt gross. I didn’t like myself.”

[...]

While the team behind Idol’s current iteration did not offer a comment on the record, the source close to the Fox production contests the idea that the show stopped contestants from expressing their most authentic selves, while adding that “coming out might have damaged certain contestants’ chances for success.” “No one ever prevented anyone from doing so, but there was often a sense — right or wrong — that it would be better if the American public’s vote was based more on their judgment about the performers’ talent rather than their sexual orientations,” the source says.

[...]

Although it would feel convenient to point the finger solely at Idol, the show at its peak reflected America’s culture as much as it defined it. When the series premiered in 2002, polling from Gallup showed that 43 percent of the U.S. populace still thought homosexuality should be illegal; Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court ruling that struck down sodomy laws in the 14 states where gay sex was still illegal, wouldn’t be issued for another year. A majority of Americans wouldn’t support the right of same-sex couples to marry until 2011, during Idol’s tenth season on the air. That was also, coincidentally, the first season not to feature either Paula Abdul or Simon Cowell on the judges panel. Abdul, hailed by sources as a major supporter of queer contestants behind the scenes, parted ways with the program after Season Eight. Cowell left the following year to launch the U.S. spinoff of The X Factor, the British singing competition he created in 2004.

[...]

For all the troubles that some queer contestants say they had on the show, many argue that Idol’s missteps paled in comparison to how cruelly they were treated by the rest of the media, the music industry, and even America at large. Idol voters eliminated Season Seven’s David Hernandez the week after an Associated Press story revealed that he had previously worked as a dancer at a Arizona strip club that catered to a “mostly male” clientele. By that time, photos that allegedly showed Hernandez bartending at a gay nightclub had already been published on Vote for the Worst, although Hernandez says the pictures weren’t even of him. He says that Idol was already well aware of his work history by the time the reports surfaced, as he disclosed the information in the extensive questionnaire the show required contestants to complete; spanning over 100 pages in length, it also asked singers to name their past sexual and romantic partners.

[...]

The media persecution of queer Idol contestants was so de rigueur during the show’s imperial era that few even questioned it. Jim Verraros’ coming out in 2002 prompted a two-page spread in the Globe, a U.S. supermarket tabloid, asking: “Who’s Next?” Chatter surrounding Adam Lambert’s sexuality made the New York Times after photos circulated of the singer, eyes covered in makeup and glitter all over his face, locking lips with another man. Following the Season Two finale, Clay Aiken says that the first question that he was ever asked by a reporter was: “Are you gay?” He wouldn’t formally come out until a 2008 People magazine cover story coinciding with the birth of his son, and for years, he says, confirmation of his sexual orientation “was the only thing that anybody in the press wanted” from him. “I never did an interview where somebody was not trying to ask me if I was gay,” he says, later adding: “Everybody wanted to be the one who got it.”

Aiken says that speculation regarding his sexuality reached such a fever pitch that, for a time, he stopped leaving his house. Even then, there was no hiding from it: “If I heard anybody setting up a gay joke on a sitcom or a late-night show, I held my breath because I knew my name was coming. Eighty percent of the time I was right.” The topic was a frequent punchline of late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, who frequently booked Aiken to appear on his show, and comedian Kathy Griffin spent a full 15 minutes discussing Aiken’s sexuality in a 2005 stand-up special on Bravo. “I do find him to allegedly be the gayest man in the free world,” she said in the routine, calling him “Gayken” to hearty applause from the crowd. Even two years after he had actually come out, a Season Eight episode of Family Guy saw Stewie, during a parody of Family Feud, being asked to name a “popular fruit” and responding: “Clay Aiken.” “I laugh at them now,” he says of the jokes, noting that he calls Griffin a friend. “I find them hilarious now, but at the time, it hurt a lot.”

Full article here

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 13/05/2024

Stickerbrush Queen

Season 1 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume L [Side A]

Ripped by toonlink

EIGHT. Years later. And we're still jammin'. I can't believe I missed the anniversary to such a historic part of the channel's legacy. I hope the world can forgive me for being a whole day late and that we can all recover from this scandal together.

Stickerbush Symphony is one of the most revered songs within VGM to a degree I don't think I can describe accurately. The original version from Donkey Kong Country 2 is still arguably David Wise's magnum opus and continues to touch hearts everywhere through its various YouTube reuploads, wheras the equally-beautiful remix in Super Smash Bros. Brawl has its hooks in an entire generation of Wii kids who are forever attached to the theme through its prominence in the Subspace Emissary campaign. It of course has a huge presence on SiIvaGunner too, one I've covered multiple times before, most notably in Sidelined Symphony. Yet the song's presence on SiIvaGunner has branched out into something entirely different, an outright franchise of bangers based on the already banging Brawl remix - all of which started with Stickerbrush Queen.

Yes, you'll have to forgive me for Toonlink-glazing once again...it's likely that not even this will be his final appearance on here, but it genuinely cannot be overemphasized just how much of Season 1's spirit was defined by his contributions. Rips like The Great Weed and Dr. Soulja are just quintessential SiIvaGunner to me, and were my go-to rips to share back in 2016, their comedic timing near unmatched, but Toonlink's versatility as a ripper extended to genuine bangers as well. Case and point - Stickerbrush Queen, the first-ever rip of Brawl's interpretation of Bramble Blast, and one that hit the nail on the head right away with an utmost brilliant idea - to use the track as the backing beat to a rap mashup. Whether or not you have attachment to Trap Queen or Fetty Wap before listening doesn't matter - the two halves of the rip lift each other up in such perfect harmony, that it starts to feel wrong to listen to them in isolation afterward.

In my eyes, a huge part of what makes the mashup work is that its playing to the traits of Trap Queen rather than lifting it into a completely different environment - its beat in the original version has a very similar bright, sparkly sound to Brawl's Bramble Blast, and the contrast between it and the vocals are likely part of how Trap Queen was envisioned. More drastic tone changes in rap mashups can certainly bang, I fucking love Sweatpants Select for that very reason, yet there's something just so elegant about how Stickerbrush Queen does it - it still FEELS different, the Bramble Blast instrumental is undeniably emotional, yet its able to balance itself out through the steady rhythm of Trap Queen's vocals. The break in the middle of the rip, at around a minute in, hits extra hard though - the instrumental additions to Trap Queen changing in turn make it such a memorable part of the whole and unify the two songs amazingly well.

Being uploaded so early into the channel's very first season, during the period of time in which EVERYONE's eyes were on this weird new music uploading channel, Stickerbrush Queen slowly garnered a sort of legendary reputation. Perhaps that was just my view of things, but it was one that got validated more and more as the channel went on. More Bramble Blast and Stickerbush Symphony rips were made over the months and years, ones like Stickerbrush State of Mind and more, that all felt like they were paying tribute to the very beginnings of it all. Eventually, those tributes would become direct - The premiere to Season 6 of the channel, Bramble Blast Collab, includes direct nods to this one rip, and its only one of several examples - most notably, a direct tribute to it on Season 7's RIP² album. This release, 7 YEARS LATER AND WE STILL JAMMIN', is of course also notable for referencing perhaps what the rip is most known for these days - the persistence of one sole commenter who returns to Stickerbrush Queen once a year on its anniversary to remind everyone that, yes, all these years later we ARE still jammin'.

Eight years, huh...that's nutty to think about - and yet even with its age, this one sole rip continues to be referenced all over the place on the channel. Stickerbush Symphony, Bramble Blast,whatever you want to call it (even StickerBRUSH Symphony if you're wrong), continues to live on, celebrated as the legendary piece of VGM it always has been - yet the contribution Toonlink made to its legacy all those years ago feels everpresent in a way that's really fun to see - almost EVERYONE following the channel has heard that one mashup at one point or another. Be it the aforementioned direct arrangement of it on RIP², or this fucking stupid tweet that blew up around the rip's fifth anniversary...its the kind of rip that just brings the community together any time we get to hear a trace of it. The definition of an enduring classic - and yes, we are STILL Jammin'.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🥁 anon here! If you want to assign me a new emoji, feel free! I’m cool with whichever option.

I have an idea for you: Josh x reader (cause you know ya girl loves Josh haha). They have to get ready for a big event. You can choose what, some ideas are a gala, interview, maybe a premiere of something, etc. Just like, the reader maybe going shopping with Jenna, getting ready, and then Josh’s reaction to her all dolled up. If you do write this, then thank you very much! And if not, no worries!

Yours truly,

🥁

Premiere - Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: None really hehe - super fluffy

Word count: 1690

A/N: Enjoy!

Josh had warned me it was going to be a big night, but I still hadn’t anticipated this level of intensity. I could barely believe that I, of all people, would be attending a movie premiere as his plus one. It wasn’t just any premiere, either; this was the premier of one of the most anticipated films of the year–and I couldn’t be more excited (and nervous) to stand by his side for it.

The pressure was definitely on. I wanted to look perfect, not only because this was such a high-profile event but because Josh would be there—suited up, looking incredible as always. Jenna could read me like a book and had insisted on helping me find the perfect dress.

As I sipped my coffee at the Joseph house, she leaned over the counter with an excited grin. “Are you ready for a shopping spree? We’re going all out today.”

I gave a little laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as nervous as I felt. “I think so. Just...no frills, no massive sequins, and no neon. Other than that, I’m ready.”

Jenna shook her head, clearly amused by my mild panic. “Relax, it’s going to be amazing. We’re finding you something that’ll make everyone’s jaw drop.”

The boutique Jenna took me to was an upscale place with deep purple walls, golden chandeliers, and rows upon rows of gorgeous dresses. It smelled faintly of jasmine and leather, like luxury itself. I took a deep breath as we walked in, feeling a little intimidated by the glimmering fabrics around me. Jenna seemed completely at ease, though, diving right in and flicking through the racks like a seasoned pro.

“Josh is going to love this,” she said with a smirk, pulling out a navy dress with a low back and smooth satin finish.

I blushed, imagining his reaction already. “It's beautiful,” I murmured, reaching out to feel the fabric. It was silky and weightless, a total departure from anything I’d ever worn.

“Try it on! I’ll keep looking, but something about this one feels right,” she said, shoving the dress into my arms.

I slipped into one of the fitting rooms, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. As I pulled the dress over my head and looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. The dress fit like it was made for me, hugging my curves in a way that was both subtle and breathtaking. My skin glowed against the navy satin, and the low back gave it a bit of an edge that felt daring.

Before I could even open the door, Jenna was waiting with an expression of barely-contained excitement. “Come on, let’s see!”

When I stepped out, her face broke into a grin, and she clasped her hands together. “Oh my god, yes. This is it. You look stunning!”

I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror, starting to believe her. The dress did feel like something special, like it had just the right combination of class and mystery.

Jenna tilted her head, evaluating. “The best part is that Josh has never seen you in anything like this before. You’re going to blow him away.”

I took another look in the mirror and started to feel a thrill of anticipation. There was something exhilarating about the idea of surprising him, of seeing his expression when he saw me in this dress.

“Alright,” I said, giving Jenna a small, determined smile. “Let’s do it.”

After an afternoon of shopping, we headed back to Jenna's apartment to start the real transformation. I knew I wanted a look that complemented the dress but didn’t overpower it—something classy and timeless. Jenna had taken it upon herself to play the role of stylist and makeup artist, and honestly, I was glad for it; her confidence was infectious.

I sat cross-legged on the floor while she arranged a collection of makeup products and brushes around her, ready to work her magic. The evening light filtered through the window, casting a soft glow over everything. I could feel the excitement building with each brushstroke.

“You’re going to look like a million bucks,” Jenna said, a glint of pride in her eyes as she applied a warm eyeshadow that made my eyes stand out.

A small part of me was skeptical, but with each step, I could see myself transforming in the mirror. I had on soft waves, natural-looking yet striking makeup, and the dress fit perfectly. I almost didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror as the same girl who’d been stressing about this event just yesterday.

When Jenna finished, she stood back with her arms crossed, nodding in approval. “You look like a movie star.”

I laughed, but as I looked in the mirror, I saw what she meant. I felt glamorous, polished, and ready to face any red carpet. The anticipation grew stronger. What would Josh think?

The time finally arrived for Josh to pick me up. I waited nervously by the door, my hands clasped tightly together, trying to steady my breathing. I’d been to premieres and events before, but never one as someone’s date, and certainly never for anything as big as this.

I heard the faint buzz of his knock, and Jenna mouthed “Good luck!” before retreating to another room, giving us our moment.

I opened the door, and for a brief second, Josh didn’t move. His mouth parted slightly, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of me standing there. He looked flawless, wearing a perfectly tailored black suit that gave him an air of effortless charm. His hair was styled just right, and his familiar, warm smile grew as he regained his composure.

“Wow,” he breathed out, looking at me from head to toe. “You look… I mean, really wow.”

A flush of warmth spread through me as his gaze lingered, a mix of admiration and affection in his eyes. He reached for my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this beautiful.”

I swallowed, suddenly a little shy under his intense gaze. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

“‘Like’ doesn’t begin to cover it,” he said with a grin, gently guiding me out of the apartment. “Come on, let’s get going before I decide to keep you all to myself.”

The car ride to the theater was surreal. The city lights glinted against the car windows, blurring as we sped through the streets. I held onto Josh’s hand, feeling a little more grounded with him beside me. As we pulled up to the premiere, I could see the flash of cameras, the red carpet lined with fans and reporters.

Josh gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’re going to be amazing out there. Don’t worry about the cameras, just stay by my side.”

As we stepped out of the car, a flurry of lights and voices greeted us. Josh’s arm slipped around my waist, steadying me as we made our way down the red carpet. I felt his hand on my back, warm and comforting, and my nerves began to ease, even with the cameras clicking away.

Reporters called out to him, and Josh answered questions with his usual charm and ease. Occasionally, they’d direct a question toward me, and he’d glance at me with a reassuring smile, subtly guiding me through the moment. The warmth in his eyes every time he looked at me made me feel like I was the only person there.

When we reached the end of the carpet, he pulled me close, his eyes never leaving mine. “I can’t stop looking at you,” he murmured, his voice soft, just for me to hear. “You’re making it hard for me to focus on anything else.”

I felt my heart flutter, a smile breaking out despite the seriousness of the event. “Good,” I replied, feeling a rush of confidence. “Because I’ve been waiting all day to see that reaction.”

He laughed, leaning in just close enough that his forehead nearly brushed mine. “Mission accomplished.”

Once inside, the theater buzzed with excitement. We took our seats, and as the lights dimmed, Josh took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. Getting to watch a film on the big screen for the first time was surreal. When the movie ended, the audience erupted in applause. I looked over at him, and he gave me a soft, almost shy smile. 

As the night wore on, there was a celebratory reception, and Josh introduced me to some of his actor friends. Everyone was gracious and welcoming, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Josh kept glancing at me with a mix of admiration and pride. Every now and then, he’d lean in and whisper something, making me laugh or blush, reminding me that even amidst all the attention and glamor, he was there for me.

By the end of the night, I was exhausted but exhilarated. We slipped away from the party and took a quiet car ride back to his place. The city lights passed by in a dreamy haze, and I felt Josh’s hand find mine again, squeezing gently.

When we got to his apartment, he opened the door, and we both stood there for a moment, letting the silence settle around us. He looked at me, his gaze warm and intense, like he was taking in every detail.

“Tonight was incredible,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “Thank you for being there with me. It meant a lot.”

I felt my heart swell, and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. “Thank you for asking me to be there.”

He chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. “God I love you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, his arms enveloping me in a warm embrace.

As I leaned into him, feeling his heartbeat against mine, I knew that this was a night I’d never forget—a night where we’d both seen each other in a new light, side by side, as if the rest of the world had faded away.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

between the lines | interlude

rúben dias x original female character [+18]

synopsis: isabella is a sports journalist covering the premier league. she has sworn to never get involved with a football player. that is, until she meets a handsome portuguese defender. warnings: incorrect journalism references; timeline of events are not faithful to real life; i have never been to england; mutual pining; romantic comedy;  minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Interlude

“I think she wants you to sing to her!” Carlos exasperatedly requests me a lullaby. I’m sitting down on the floor in front of my floor length mirror, trying to do something nice with my hair. I'm getting ready for my first day back at work after a short lived summer break. My brother is on facetime, showing me my niece. “I swear, she was saying ‘tía’ a lot. I think she’s asking for the song.”

It’s August and I just got back to England. Getting drunk on Pinot Noir on as many Spanish islands as my money could afford was a goal I gracefully achieved over the break. Okay, maybe ‘gracefully’ is not the best word to describe my alcohol driven antics. But here I am, all pieces glued together, ready for another season.

This time last year I was a rookie in this League and by the end of the season I was having dinner dates with a Prem superstar.

None of that this time, tough. I've grown a year older since my birthday last week, and that means I’m only focusing on my career. For real this time. No more relapses, no more calls in the middle of the night.

So I sing Lucía a song and then I go to work.

“New year, new me, huh?” I point out as Melissa hugs me, she has a new hair color and is rocking a new makeup style.

“Isabella, it’s August.” Mel doesn't share my enthusiasm. “Also, I hate covering pre-season. I always end up making stupid decisions like going blonde or something.”

“What? You didn’t have fun in the US?” I’m still hugging her when I ask.

“Oh, shut up. Your insta stories didn’t help me either, you know?” Mel puts both hands on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. “But you had fun, right? You’re feeling good?”

“Yeah, of course. Feeling good. I feel great.” I nod, mostly to myself. “I feel amazing…” 

She agrees and continues to walk.

“I swear I wish I had forgotten most of these dudes' names.” She bites her lips looking menacingly into the horizon. I giggle, ashamed.

“I share the feeling.”

At lunch Mel ordered Japanese food and I just stared at the package for a full minute before deciding to eat.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” It’s the fourth or sixth time she said that to me, ever since she noticed something was off a couple months ago.

It was a Japanese restaurant but I almost didn’t notice at first, being too focused on something else. He wore a button up shirt and I felt like dying.

I remember saying something like:

“I don’t really like Portuguese food. Too many eggs. You guys put eggs in everything. Egg on the entrance, egg on the fish, for desert? Egg flavored cake. Francesinha is a sandwich with egg on top of it. That’s not where the egg is supposed to go, Rúben.”

And he laughed, he laughed at every joke I said. At the end of the night my jaw was hurting from how I smiled at him and I wondered if he felt the same.

It’s a double-edge sword, this whole falling in love thing. Even being the one saying goodbye, I still hurt like I was dumped by my first boyfriend at 16 all over again.

At first it was easy, everything can be a distraction if you try hard enough. But with time the thing I was trying so hard to hide became bigger and louder in my mind. The sound of the laughter, the clicking of the cutlery.

The realization that I chose this, standing outside of Wembley with a microphone in hand; over whatever that was.

This is fine, I’m great.

“How are you feeling about this season?” I question a random City fan outside the stadium.

“Good, yeah.” The lad shrugs.

“You guys already won everything, do you think the players-” I start, but he stops me.

“Nah, we didn’t win everything. There’s always more to win. We only got 3 out of 4 last season.” When he says that, I realize that around 20 meters away from me, in the distance, is the Manchester City bus. I walk faster.

The sound of wanting gets drowned out by a crowded pub and suddenly it's easier to breathe again and everything really is fine.

“Rice, rice, baby!” It’s Victor’s voice that gets a genuine laugh out of me. “I fucking love Wembley!”

We’re all meeting at the pub after the Community Shield game and the atmosphere is exactly like the first day back to school, but with a lot more beer involved.

“Please don’t tell me you have money on Arsenal winning the league.” Seb is sitting next to me, pointing his green bottle to Victor.

“I do. Yes, go ahead, laugh all you want.” Victor raises his voice, looking offended. “I’m not even being optimistic, mate, it’s just the plain truth.”

The entire table laughs and we almost can't hear when he continues. “They’re stronger this year, guys, hear me out.”

“You’re right to be confident, but personally I’m not putting money on Mikel.” Mel says.

I bite my tongue when they ask my opinion.

“I’m being a hundred percent professional this year, no betting, no guessing, just straight analyzing.” The table booed me and I raised my hands in the air, in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t even want to be here. I wish I was in Australia right now.”

“Don't remind me!” Mel sighs and lightly slaps me. “We’re literally the only women not covering the World Cup right now.”

“No whining! Come on, let’s toast.” Seb raises his bottle once again, but this time we all follow. “To a busy and long season!”

And we all repeat: “To a busy and long season!”

[jakesuit0]

Too Young Review

“Too Young” finally follows up on the newly deaged Princess Bubblegum, something fans were dying to see after no glimpses of her in the past four episodes. This would have been a more thematically appropriate season premiere, but I do like the building anticipation for the followup. The question of how this new dynamic would alter the status quo of the series going forward hung over our heads. Turns out: not at all. At least not in an obvious way.

Even putting aside the romance aspect, it’s just great to see Finn finally hanging out with someone his own age, something we never get enough of. He’s always hanging out with his older brother, and his other best friends are hundreds of years older than him. As Finn says at the beginning, he can just be himself. I like Finn stepping out to get moral support from Jake. His encouragement of Finn’s pursuit of Bubblegum is finally appropriate! Finn is a little nervous, this is probably his first ever date. But, he is overall pretty comfortable, as there’s still a strong familiarity between Finn and PB. There’s also no pussyfooting around between the two, they are very upfront with their feelings. PB already knows how Finn feels, and she basically tells Finn that he’s hot after he drinks her serum. He admits to not bathing, so it’s a good thing that BMO gets Finn on a bathing schedule by “Holly Jolly Secrets Part 1.” It’s interesting that Finn first asks if she’s trying to make herself 18 again. Part of him thinks this is all too good to be true.  

Not really sure how much I need to introduce him, but Lemongrab! He’s probably the tenth most prominent character in the series, and one of the most well known characters, period. He wasn’t given much of a personality in the outline. Tom Herpich and especially Jesse Monyihan, the storyboarders for this episode, really created Lemongrab. They succeeded in making such a distinct character, and with Justin Roiland bringing him to life with some of the best voice acting of the series so far, he was basically guaranteed to become a recurring character. (I know there’s a massive elephant in the room that I’m avoiding, but it’s just not pertinent to this review. It will be addressed when I get to “Prismo the Wishmaster” and morals will be condemned!) Lemongrab’s very screamy, but he does it in such an alien way that he’s not annoying. He’s introduced with his iconic “unacceptable” catchphrase, which is pretty great and has been memed to death. He was originally going to be PB’s uncle (I assume it would have straight up been Gumbald, albeit in a very different incarnation, since he was mentioned in “Susan Strong”). I’m very glad they didn’t go that direction. They were dangerously close to ruining much of the direction they’ll take PB’s character in. 

Lemongrab is now technically the rightful ruler due to PB’s deaging. I assume Bubblegum created Lemongrab with the intention of wanting an heir, and that stuck in Candy Kingdom law. Similarly to my take on “Hot Diggity Doom”, I don’t think Princess Bubblegum actually cares about the legal technicality, especially since she started creating the kingdom when she was a kid. She just wanted to delay the inevitable. She might also have more respect for the rules as a less jaded thirteen year old. 

The flashback establishes that she created Lemongrab. It’s the first hint that PB created all the candy people, but it could still just be assumed that Lemongrab was an exception. The implications of PB creating life aren’t explored here, but this establishes a trait for her that will be explored a ton. We don’t know exactly when she created him, but it’s implied that it happened a long time ago, possibly hundreds of years ago. My theory is it happened before the flashbacks seen in “The Vault”. PB was used to making candy people dumb on purpose, probably straight up using dum dum juice. It’d make sense to not want her heir to be incompetent, so she’d need a different formula, especially since she isn’t using parts of the mother gum like she did with Gumbald, Lolly, and Chicle. This caused the experiment to “go wrong”. The reason I think it’s before “The Vault”, is because we see a young Peppermint Butler in it, who I don’t think was created with dum dum juice. She must have perfected the formula by then. Pep wasn’t intended to be an heir, as she’s still trying in “Goliad”, but she’ll eventually realize he fits the bill. Calling Lemongrab her “first” experiment to go wrong, is a straight up continuity error due to the Uncle Gumbald backstory. It’s also hard to believe that she didn’t have any other experiments go wrong. I think my theory could recontextualize the line to mean it’s the first one of her experiments with her new formula to go wrong, but it’s a little handwavey. As if this flashback didn’t already have enough interesting implications, we see that PB still has her memories. This raises the question of if she still has the same experiences, is her relationship with Finn still problematic? I argue that it isn’t. She behaves like a child in her new state. Her brain, just like the rest of her body, has less candy biomass, and is the brain of a child. She’s seeing her memories through the lens of a kid. 

Finn and Bonnie try to solve their problems like kids would for once, with pranks. Their relationship is so pure and adorable. Bonnie cuddling up to Finn on the castle roof is one of the most wholesome moments ever in Adventure Time and Finn looks so incredibly happy. It really captures the innocence of a young child’s first romance, and it stands apart from the awkwardness that defines his relationship with Flame Princess and the maturity that comes with his dynamic with Huntress Wizard. At the same time, Lemongrab gets more defined as he tries to laugh and have fun with the pranks after Peppermint Butler’s explanation. He wants to fit in with others, but he just doesn’t see the world in a neurotypical way, so it comes off as forced and awkward, like his bobbing head laughter.

Peppermint Butler tells Lemongrab that food comes from Mars. It’s a weird lore detail that isn’t ever explained, but is referenced again. It’d make sense for a world of talking animals and talking food to get food from an outside source, but there’s plenty of examples of them eating food from Ooo. I’ll assume that industrialized food comes from Mars, and this is considered more civilized. Lemongrab eating the spiced food is a great sequence, and causes him too much pain for him to just laugh off.

Princess Bubblegum finally decides it's time to stop delaying what she knows is inevitable: becoming 18 again. Finn’s upset, but has the ability to recognize the greater good enough to swallow those feelings. This whole experience was more of a well needed break for PB, than a true commitment to a new permanent identity, just like a later arc she’ll have. But unlike later, she doesn’t change the way she conducts her life through learning from this ordeal. Many fans don’t think this episode works with PB’s portrayal in the rest of the series, but I disagree. She sacrifices her happiness for her people, which will be explored as a character flaw later down the line that ends up backfiring for her kingdom anyway. She views having fun as something mainly for children, and work as something that must consume adults. There is no middle ground for her. The pain this causes PB just makes her double down on work as a distraction. Some of that analysis is based on future episodes, but a lot of it can be taken away from just “Too Young”. It’s great to finally get an episode that focuses on fleshing out Princess Bubblegum’s deeper feelings and motivations. It’s really the only episode in the first three seasons with that accomplishment. 

Princess Bubblegum says she needs her lab equipment to engineer more candy flesh, an even bigger hint that she created the candy people. I love the scene of her citizens giving PB parts of themselves. They recognize how selfless Bubblegum is, and sacrifice pieces of themselves like she does for them. Finn uses the power of love to catalyze the re-aging process. He gets to return Princess Bubblegum’s favor in “Mortal Folly” with the like-like sweater! It’s cheesy but it’s such a perfect resolution. Princess Bubblegum’s goodbye to Finn is heartbreaking, and it’s really tragic, especially after seeing how happy they were together. They hug and Finn has his first kiss. It’s a really special moment, and it really should be his only kiss with Princess Bubblegum. Fuck you “Wizard Battle” for taking away a little bit of what makes this moment so special and tragic. 

Bubblegum turns back and is pretty cold to Finn, but I love the contrast of her just saying “‘scuse me Finn” and how much taller she is than Finn. She’s also cold to Lemongrab, calling him a butt, which is even more problematic given the fact she’s responsible for him. The next moment is soooo important. Finn comes on to PB, which I can’t even condemn him for this time given the circumstances, and PB immediately shuts him down. She takes the crush slightly more seriously than just innocent puppy love. I love how awkward Finn asking if she wants to hug more is, really highlighting how this relationship does not work with this age difference. She responds by not humoring him finally, saying “that was like 5 years ago” and “you really gotta move on.” People have criticized Bubblegum for being too cold to Finn. I do understand calling those comments, and her joking about the situation, insensitive. It comes across to Finn like the relationship they had means nothing to her now. I really don’t think it meant nothing to her, as we’ll see by her subtle changes in behavior and a line she has in “Burning Low.”  But, I’m sure it was hurtful and confusing for Finn. I still can’t really blame PB for how she responded. She definitely could have been more sensitive about it, while still clearly turning him down. But, it’s an awkward situation. She was still trying to be kind about it, even if the joking manner came off as hurtful, and she’s very clear in her rejection which is good. She still doesn’t know the true extent of Finn’s feelings.

Season two’s cliffhanger being immediately reversed in one episode is a controversial decision. It’s the first example of one of the biggest criticisms leveled against the series, not committing to interesting status quo changes. Turning Bonnie back to 18 is a decision I 100% support. Yes, it’s sad how much of a more entertaining character young PB is compared to the regular state of her character so far. But, essentially replacing the most boring character of the main cast with an entirely different character would feel like such a lame solution to a problem the series has. Working on making her a more engaging character is the correct path. The path they take Bubblegum on is my favorite aspect of the series, so I’m glad this didn’t stick. It’s just unfortunate that it takes another season for that to happen. It makes reversing back to the status quo more questionable. Also, we can’t lose Hynden Walch! To be fair, restoring the status quo after only one episode is the aspect of this that’s more contentious. I wouldn’t have been opposed to seeing young PB in a few more episodes, but I don’t really see what more could have been done. I think “Too Young” fully explores everything interesting that can come out of this plotline: her relationship with Finn and how Princess Bubblegum acts differently at this age. This also isn’t entirely a reset. Not only does this episode color Princess Bubblegum’s character moving forward, it also sets a clear new dynamic for Finn and Bubblegum. She stops humoring his advancements (except for “Wizard Battle”, but again, fuck that episode). It’s the first of many times “everything stays, but it still changes” is applicable. We’ll see how long that ends up being a good excuse moving forward though. 

Finn calls Jake and he gives Finn some pretty bad advice if you take it as him still telling Finn to keep pursuing PB! To be fair, he doesn’t yet know that Bubblegum is an adult again. But Finn tells him that he got dumped. You could also interpret Jake’s advice as being persistent in finding love in general, not necessarily referring to Bubblegum specifically. His speech was intended to be important and to foreshadow the rest of the series, but I’m not sure if this really panned out. He does defeat a demon lord (whether it refers to Hunson, Ke-Oth, The Lich, or evil in general). Finn definitely warps through several worlds (“Puhoy”, “Crossover”, “Beyond the Grotto”, etc). Walking up the wizard steps could foreshadow Huntress Wizard, even though it’s unclear if they ever get in a committed relationship. The magic key and water world don’t really come to pass, unless you wanna say “President Porpoise is Missing!” I’m probably taking it too literally. I think it’s true meaning is to just be persistent in finding love despite all the obstacles. I think that’s what Jake’s means, so I like the speech. The episode ends with Finn looking at Bubblegum up above. It seems like Finn takes it as advice to keep pursuing PB specifically, as we see in upcoming episodes. A lot of fans took it this way, thinking Finn will just have to wait until he becomes 18 to get with PB. With him aging throughout the series, that does seem like a plausible endgame. But there’s obviously problematic implications with that. The series ends up going in a different direction and doesn’t make romance a central part of Finn’s final arc, so this speech really doesn’t end up feeling as important as it was set out to be. 

This is a really iconic episode with a super memorable story and introduction of a major character, and it’s one of my favorites so far. It’s essentially a what if scenario, the one time we see what Finn and PB could be like as a couple. The one time Finn gets to live out his greatest desire. I’m not a Fubblegum shipper, but I’m glad the shippers get this episode. Shipping them outside this episode is weird, but I’m fully on board with their relationship here. I guess I’ll end with some controversy. You can’t tell me Princess Bubblegum didn’t have real feelings for Finn in this one. I totally interpret her as bi just because of this episode. 

Grade: A

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - Nick Mag Presents: Danny Phantom (Fall 2005)

Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here. Welcome back to my blog and the words that inhabit it. Today, Halloween comes early this year when we read through another exciting issue of Nickelodeon Magazine Presents, this time all about Danny Phantom. Boo! Trick-or-Treat! Deck the halls!

And not only is this edition of Nick Mag Highlights spooky, it’s also… pretty chill. Y’know? Just takin’ it easy, reading a handful of comics and probably a crossword puzzle or something. As much as I love researching the kind of stuff Nickelodeon Magazine includes in its articles, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and take things at face value and just see what the state of Nickelodeon was like at any given time, and these short-and-sweet issues of Nick Mag Presents are the perfect venue for just that.

But why exactly am I tackling this purportedly Halloween-themed issue in August? Well, mainly it’s because that new Danny Phantom graphic novel just came out… two weeks ago (oops). And I really enjoyed it! So I’ve since been in a big Danny Phantom mood lately. I even ended up re-watching the whole first season and had a blast doing so. This show was a real obsession of mine as a kid, so maybe this blog post is also a way for me to give it its dues.

This issue can be found online here, read along… if you dare!

Another Nick Mag Presents, another humorously wordy introduction. If you’re unfamiliar, basically all these Presents-styled issues have a panel on the first page with a character essentially advertising the book to you and talking about all the comics and activities included inside. This one here features Danny and an understandably perturbed ghost, for example. 

Since these issues were usually sold in stores as opposed to through a mail subscription, I suppose this is the issue’s way of hooking you in and explaining to you why you should buy it. I think a kid would probably be more inclined to just flip through the book and arrive at the same conclusion, but I guess this approach doesn’t hurt anybody.

But anyway, let’s see here… aw, only two wholly new comics? The Fairly Oddparents-themed issue I took a look at previously had five original comics. That’s a bummer, but at least we’ve still got variety… SpongeBob, My Life as a Teenage Robot, and The Wild Thornberrys, oh my! Even Tak makes an appearance here, two years before the premiere of his actual Nickelodeon cartoon, meaning this was an attempt to interest readers in the then-recently released video game: Tak 3: The Great Juju Challenge. Not sure if that worked.

And if you’ll take a look at that yellow, spiky bubble with words on the right there, this September 2005 issue is meant to coincide with the then-upcoming two episode-long Danny Phantom special, “The Ultimate Enemy”, which featured Danny taking on a more powerful version of himself from the future. Seems like the included removable poster is even themed around that very episode! Let’s just hope that poster is still left intact, eh?

So first up, we’ve got a page to get you up to speed on the main cast if you’re new to the show. It’s even got some new factoids for the already familiar superfans! For example: Did you know Sam is into anime? I sure didn’t.

Oh, and if you’re wondering where series villain Vlad Masters is, don’t worry, they go over him later on in the book.

On the right you’ll find an easy if not slightly amusing word puzzle, which tasks you with solving questions where each answer contains the word boo. Simple enough for a kid while still being worth the time, methinks.

Although all the stock ghost art on the page gets me wondering, how come most of the ghosts in the show manifest as typical-looking cartoon ghosts while others manifest in a human form? I guess maybe it comes down to the strength of your spirit. Who’s to say?

You’ve met the characters, now it’s time to meet the voices behind them! I’ll always take a side of interviews with my Nickelodeon Magazine, and this is no exception. The questions are cute, and I had fun reading them. Not much to say.

So we’re finally here at the first comic of the issue, and… not really a fan of this one! Yeah, sorry to start this retrospective off on a sour note but this isn’t really doing it for me. The main villain of this one is Youngblood, who already isn’t exactly one of my favorite villains from the series. But here they’ve got him and all the other characters stuck in a pretty by-the-numbers plot where Danny and co. get stuck babysitting the brat while he tries to maim them, with them of course unable to fight back lest they face the wrath of his parents (who are humongous lizard monsters, for some reason). 

If you’re even a little familiar with cartoons you’ve probably already seen quite a few takes on this formula already. And even if you like Youngblood as a character they don’t have him doing his usual pirate shtick he’s remembered for, so I’m not sure what anyone is getting out of this, really. What's especially not helping is that this goes on for ten pages, further dragging out an already tired concept. 

So there you have it, I guess. Done-to-death story with accordingly done-to-death jokes, a lame villain, and about two pages of action. I will say though, Danny and Tucker’s babysitting poster on page 2 did get a smile out of me, at least.

You’ve met the characters, and you’ve also met the voices behind them, now it’s time to meet… the rest of the characters! The villain ones! These guys really made the show for me, cause the team behind the show really just seemed to understand the assignment and made all of them really unique and memorable.

So we can see they’ve been ranked in terms of how dangerous they all are, which is a fun idea. ‘Course you’ve got Vlad at the top of, but then there’s Technus just behind him? I can’t say I remember him being notably more dangerous than any of the other baddies, I’m fairly certain he gets swept up at the end of his specific episode just like all the rest. I’m pretty sure Valerie gave Danny a bigger run for his money, and she’s down at #3.

Woah now, I’m starting to scrutinize the power levels of cartoon characters. Cartoon characters from a show I haven’t even fully watched all the way through since I was a kid, no less. Better put a stop to that before it gets ugly.

Cool little cartoons on the left there, that one on the top right is properly devious and I’m all for it. All the art is quite lovely too.

The right is… well, it’s Mad Libs, there’s no other way around it. Y’know the Mad Libs website refers to itself as “the world’s greatest word game” but I seriously think they need to take that up with Scrabble, or hell, even Hangman. Yeah I was never a big fan of this kind of fill-in-the-blanks stuff, but I guess it’s a pretty inoffensive activity to include.

Check out Danny’s dad rocking that emo hair.

And now we’ve made it to the second and last new comic for the issue, and unfortunately it’s only a two-pager. But hey, if my thoughts on the previous ten-page comic said anything, it was that I prefer quality over quantity. And this one is… okay. It’s funny enough, does what all it needs to with the concept, and it definitely doesn’t overstay its welcome. I’m again surprised by the lack of action in both of these comics, considering Danny Phantom is an action show, after all, but it’s not like the show wasn’t a comedy either, so it’s not that weird.

I guess while we’re here I could nitpick it a bit. The lineart here courtesy of series creator Butch Hartman* is a bit wonky at times. There’s the aforementioned emo hair Danny’s dad is wearing, but my main gripe is that dog robot just doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the artstyle. It being the only new original character design for this comic as well doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me. I guess the team was fine with whatever Hartman drew because he made the show after all, so surely he knows what he’s doing, right?*

*Insert obligatory comment about how much of a loser Butch Hartman is here.

Just want to give a shoutout to this pretty creative puzzle here. It actually stumped me a little when I first read it! Those monster designs are pretty entertaining too. Solid activity overall.

Next up it’s an installment of Sam Shade, which was a short-lived recurring series in Nickelodeon Magazine. Apparently the series ran from 2002 to 2005, so this may be one of the last times a Sam Shade comic was ever printed in a Nick Magazine. 

These comics mainly consist of the titular Detective Sam Shade trying to solve some mystery, sleuthing around the area in a series of detailed, wordy scenes. Likewise, you as the reader are as well tasked with scouring the pages for clues to help deduce the culprit. Each panel here smoothly moves into the next, making for something like a Where’s Waldo puzzle but with an actual narrative. It’s a really good idea! A shame this series didn’t last longer.

Hey, is that Carl from Jimmy Neutron on the bottom right there?

Pretty nice My Life as a Teenage Robot comic here. Although that’s kind of unfortunate in a way, since that means I haven’t got much to talk about! It’s pretty much a 1-to-1 translation from animation to comic here. The artstyle and writing are both on point, it’s all just in a shorter, more paper-y format.

I wonder why the aliens’ speech bubble has flowers in it. Is that a theater reference, maybe?

The design of these fiery aliens are particularly awesome - simple but effective. I’m surprised they used such a cool design in a comic that was going to be seen by way less people as opposed to using it in the cartoon. Man, this show is so cool, even its supplementary media is stylish!

But anyway, do you want to know how this story ends? Read it yourself!

Ohh man, I distinctly remember this comic. I don’t remember what issue of Nickelodeon Magazine this one is sourced from, but whichever one it was, I had it. The story’s nothing to write home about really, It's another take on the age old tale of “Squidward yells at SpongeBob and Patrick for doing something annoying, so they inadvertently ruin his life”. Squidward must have a really good lawyer for him to be able to bounce back from all the crap SpongeBob and Pat get him into.

This version of the usual story has S. Bob and P. Rick making a cake in Squidward’s image. Mr. Krabs ends up mistaking it for the real Squidward, bringing it to the Krusty Krab, and having it run the cash register, obviously to disastrous results. It’s all pretty par for the course, and there’s some funny lines to be had.

Weirdly though, unless I’m blind, I can’t seem to find any credits for this one. Not in the comic itself or at the back of the book. I’m pretty sure the artist(s) behind this one did more SpongeBob SquarePants comics though, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the same writing team had a hand in them too. I distinctly remember one where all the characters turn into desserts. Or maybe it was an alternate universe where they’re all desserts? Something like that. Maybe I’ll find it and cover it on this blog someday!

And up next, it’s a Wild Thornberrys comic of all things (said with feigned surprise, having read the table of contents moments ago). And I’m just now realizing none of these comics have anything to do with ghosts, or horror, really. Quite the magazine you’ve got just in time for October, Nickelodeon!

But hey, it’s not right to judge a piece of art specifically by the context in which it is presented. Especially when it was originally published in a magazine that likely came out years earlier, probably not even around the month of October. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that, even when it comes to filling the pages of a magazine.

This comic is especially cool, anyway, as you can no doubt tell from its distinct shakeup in style!

The story has Eliza receiving some gifts from her Japanese friend, Mayumi (who was probably in the show, presumably), one of those gifts being a homemade manga. And while I’m not exactly an expert on the Japanese arts, I certainly find this art convincing and really appreciate the attention to detail. I bet any kids that were fans of manga around this time must have felt pretty seen to have one of their hobbies referenced in a rather unlikely place, and with such attention to detail no less.

One thing I can also appreciate is that this story really isn’t something they could have pulled off in the show itself (unless they studio really wanted to have an anime-themed episode and go through the undertaking of doing an episode in an entirely different, foreign animation style all on their usual budget), so overall this is a really fun idea done quite flawlessly. My only gripe is we don’t get to see a manga-styled Nigel Thornberry, but what can you do?

Oh boy, the Tak comic, cool. Now, I know these games have their fans, but I can’t say I’m one of them. I did watch the show a bit though, but I’ve heard it has nothing to do with the games, so I guess that makes me rather unprepared to tackle this two-page comic on an intellectual, researched level. I will say though that I think the Sam Shade comic from earlier pulled off this style of free-flowing, no-panel storytelling to a much greater effect. The amount of Taks they threw around the page makes it feel really busy and cramped, and they had to essentially remove the second character Tak is traveling with from the story since I guess they were strapped for page space.

But yeah, the colors are nice at least, and Tak media is especially hard to come by nowadays, so I suppose if I were more into the property, I might be more into this.

Last comic of the day, and it’s Jimmy Neutron. At least this one kinda fits the theme, I mean, aliens are almost in the same horror-league as vampires, zombies, ghosts, and all that. This is a pretty quality one to end off the book with, and in regards to Jimmy Neutron, this is one of the better ways these characters have been translated to 2D. Although the incredibly warm colors and harsh shadows throw me for a loop. Pretty good overall!

Before we wrap things up, I would like to mention that advert for The Nicktoons Film Festival on the right. I totally forgot these used to be a thing! From 2004 to 2009 Nickelodeon hosted a film festival and let viewers vote for their favorite animated short, along with letting proper animation people who know what they’re talking about vote on their favorites, too. Lots of great up-and-coming cartoonists took part in these festivals. This one in 2005 actually featured a short by J. G. Quintel that eventually was used as a basis for his own Cartoon Network show, Regular Show! You can check the short out below:

Neat bit of history there, yeah?

Even though I’m still a bit disappointed this issue didn’t include more original content, I still think this ended up being a fairly entertaining walk down memory lane. And hey, I hope you had a good time too. I’m doubly disappointed, however, that the archive of this issue didn’t come with that tear-out poster! Now we’ll never see it in its full hi-def glory.

As always, thanks for stopping by and checking out another bit of Nick history with me. Have yourself a good one, and I’ll see you all next time!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, I finally have time to sit down and do this properly. New season! I am so excited for this one, I could have watched the episode yesterday before work but I wanted to save it for when I could really enjoy it. And stop and write things down when they occur to me.

Though I will say, I’m not going to set a precedent here. I started doing these posts, where I watch the new Taskmaster episode and liveblog it, at the beginning of season 11. I think I did every episode of seasons 11 and 12, and then struggled more with 13 because it aired during my in-person co-op placement last year, and it was hard to find the time. Then 14 was during my second placement, same issue. 15 I just had other stuff going on. So in those seasons, I liveblogged some episodes but not others, but felt like I should with all of them, and that at some point became a problem. Because I couldn’t just watch a Taskmaster episode when I had time, I had to keep saving it until I had 2 or 3 hours (it takes a surprisingly long time to watch these when I’m pausing to write notes and take screenshots all the time, especially if I’m cutting out video and making it a gif too), and the mental energy to write it while taking notes. So I’d put the episode off and try to figure out when I’d have that time and energy, until watching my favourite currently airing TV show started feeling a bit like a chore.

No one told me to do that. I didn’t feel any obligation to do it for anyone else’s sake (my liveblogging posts are nowhere near interesting enough for anyone to bother being disappointed if I don’t do one). But I do really enjoy writing down the stuff I think as I watch Taskmaster, because it’s fun to share that with people. That’s why I made this blog in the first place – too many Taskmaster thoughts and no one to share them with. It’s more fun when I share it, especially when I watch a new episode for the first time. But also, my free time is more limited than it was when I first got into it during lockdown, so I don’t want to feel like I can’t just sit back and enjoy an episode unless I have a three-hour block and the energy to take notes. So I thought it might be easier for myself if I say from the outset that I make no plans to do this every week, or even most weeks. Let’s assume this will be the only one of these I do for season 16 and we’ll see how it goes.

However, I have to do it for the premiere, right? I’m so excited for the premiere. I told myself I’d stay off Tumblr from when it airs until I watch it, to avoid spoilers, but then I broke that rule. I’ve seen a few very mild spoilers, but not too much. I do know a couple of my predictions have already come true. My prediction that Lucy Beaumont’s baffling comedy persona (the baffling part is trying to figure out how much is a character vs how much she is like that) will fit in perfectly on Taskmaster – I’m getting that that came through in interesting ways during the premiere. And my other prediction was that it would take exactly one episode for all of Tumblr (probably other parts of the internet too, but this is the part I know) to fall in love with Sam Campbell – that appears to also be happening. I think at some point earlier in the summer I said something along the lines of “If you think you know who your favourite season 16 contestant will be but you don’t know who Sam Campbell is, don’t lock your answer in just yet,” and it looks like that’s working out.

Okay, without further preamble, on with the liveblogging. Thoughts on Taskmaster s16e01, written as I watch it:

First thought: wow, why does he look so much older than I expected? Next thought: oh right, because I only really know him for old episodes of WILTY and 8 Out of 10 Cats, and time passes sometimes.

First thought... seriously, and I promise to avoid saying this constantly during the course of this season (yes I know I promised something similar about Mae Martin last season and then regularly broke that), but how the hell do they get away with continuing to do jokes on Catsdown about Jon Richardson not being attractive to attractive women when we can all Google his wife?

First thought... seriously, I have trained with at least eight different people who look just like that. There is a "wrestler look" and that is weirdly exactly it. Please, someone, make this man fight something in a task so I can find out if it's in his blood. If he walked around a varsity tournament this year and just went up to the tables and said he came second the 61kg division and wants his silver medal, they'd hand him one no questions asked, they wouldn't even look it up to check. He looks exactly like every guy who came second in the 61kg division at the provincial-level university tournaments for the last eight years.

This is good observational material, I promise. It's unfortunate that if I do another comedy set (which I am intending to do, have just put that plan on hold for a few weeks as I settle into a relatively new-ish job) it will be to an audience that is insufficiently familiar with my life experiences to get the joke.

First thought... I already used my "talk about how hot comedians are" quota for one post on Lucy Beaumont, I am trying not to just constantly write it down if I see a comedian and think that, so in interests of general decorum, I will pass on writing my first though here. Or my second or third.

First thought... I know very little about her (aside from she was good in Crazyhead), so forming much of an opinion based on this shot, and coming in strong with purple eye shadow and giant earrings with a pink tracksuit. That's a look. This will be fun.

Strong combination of facial expressions here:

I'm working as an autism therapist now, and one thing we do is show kids pictures of stock image people with different expressions on their faces, and ask them to label what emotion it is. I could print this screenshot out and use it in the sessions. Okay, kids, see if you can put a name on those five. See if you can guess which two already have a long and extremely successful TV career behind them, enough so they can sit comfortably and relatively placidly on a show that would be "big break" material for anyone who hasn't already "made it" to the absolutely highest level of mainstream TV success.

Love that one of the throne cats is still there:

We open on a food-based bad Alex Horne pun. We're back, baby!

Is Sue Perkins' Napoleon Dynamite shirt part of a task, or is she just wearing that? Either way I approve.

This is almost exactly the same as the "best wooden thing" prize task in season 9, but I don't mind. I guess if you have Julian Cleary you have to open by giving him some chances to make jokes about wood (I don't actually know much about Julian Cleary, that view of him is based on what he was like on 8 Out of 10 Cats in about 2008).

I was genuinely impressed when Julian Cleary introduced his prize without making a joke on the word "wood", and then I saw what the prize was.

Yeah, all right. I'm down for a season of watching the guy in the traditional old man chair bring in sexually suggestive furniture. I've heard worse ideas for how to go on.

I have just listened to Lucy Beaumont's entire boxer dog story, and I still have no idea. No idea if we're supposed to think she really believes in dog ghosts possessing beds and picture frames, or whether it's entirely a character. Either way, I'm mildly obsessed with how well she sells it. Though I am all for some pedantry about prize tasks, so thanks for pointing that she should be only judged on the frame since the picture's not wooden, Greg.

Sammy C opening on a surreal puppet joke. I wouldn't have expected anything less. If anyone else had done that, I'd have brought in some more pedantry to say there's no way he's had that for a while, he clearly just asked the production team to make it. But given what other things I've seen Sam Campbell make in his weird videos, I think I can believe he might have made this himself.

For anyone keeping score at him, my first proper, out-loud laugh of the new season came from Sue Perkins calling this mixed media:

Under seven minutes in and we're discussing ghosts of incel monkeys that missed the orgy. They're settling in fast to this one. None of the stilted awkwardness that you get in early studio portions of some seasons, as they figure out how each other are. Everyone's clicking in this one, or maybe Sue Perkins is just able to click with anyone.

I think Susan Wokoma must be the first person in Taskmaster history to apologize for her prize task not being haunted. It is quite beautiful, though. Only person to bring in someone genuinely beautiful (well, Lucy's picture was all right). Also, side thought that occurs to me as I write this, is this the first time one season of Taskmaster has had two contestants with the same first name?

I'd just written that these people are clicking faster than most casts, when Julian points out Susan's prize isn't "really wooden", and reminds me of the opening of season 13. That was another season that had a very strong first episode, partly because everyone got so comfortable so fast with picking at others' performances. And by "everyone", I mainly mean Ardal O'Hanlon immediately started heckling all his fellow contestants. Love that Julian Cleary is sitting in Ardal's seat and taking up his mantle.

Ooh, I love the decor this season:

The art style is rarely a thing I get excited about in Taskmaster, but I really like this one. That'll be fun to watch for ten episodes.

Ah, Taskmaster. I've missed this sort of thing:

Glad you're back, Alex. Glad you're back to making people look at you with that exact expression on their face.

Again, I'm enjoying Susan Wokoma's look.

A look at the trailer suggested to me that they haven't gone too big on the costumes this season, but strikingly blue nail polished paired with sparkly overalls is fun.

Lucy, I don't care how much is a character. I'm obsessed with you.

Several more large, out-loud laughs as I watch Lucy Beaumont struggle to leave a room. Taskmaster should blindfold people more often, that shit is never not funny.

From a pure Taskmaster nerd perspective, I like tasks that involve filming in the hall so you get better idea of the layout of the house:

Someday I'll go to Chiswick, jump the fence, break in and write down the blueprints.

Ah, I see, it's already a tower. That's a clear idea, and surprisingly doesn't feel recycled even though it's season 16, I don't think they've done that before. Set a task where it's actually already been done and their job is to just not ruin it. Surely that must have been done before at some point, right? Anyway, watching those cans fall on Lucy was glorious. That's all I really need from comedy, apparently. Just blindfold people and then drop cans on them.

Lovely tableau here:

Alex saying "All the information is on the task" to someone who's blindfolded is also amazingly funny.

So, if we wanted to be pedantic, which I do, we could discuss whether just leaving a tower up counts as "building" it. I think Susan is fine, because she put the cans on top of the tower that was already there. So she helped to build the tower, and it didn't say she had to build the whole thing by herself. Not sure Lucy's should count, as she didn't participate in the act of building it at all.

Julian and Sam up next, so they're saving Sue for last. Great, can't wait to see what disaster she created that got her put on her own.

What I've learned from Sam Campbell's stand-up and weird internet videos is that he's got a pretty strong comedy persona/brand, off-the-wall energy that I've heard some of his comedian friends say is very much based on his genuine personality, but obviously it's dialed up in a specifically planned way. They say Taskmaster is great at knocking people out of their carefully planned personas and forcing them to just be themselves, at least more than they do during shows where they're in control. I'd say blindfolding someone and making them walk around a house, especially once they've realized there might be a fragile tower in a room that they can't knock down but they don't know where it is or even for sure what it is and they only have five minutes, seems like a good way to strip away any acting. Which might be why I was struck by how incredibly genuine, and a bit off brand, the repeated swearing from Sam Campbell sounds.

Not that Sam Campbell the comedian wouldn't swear, but I don't think he'd drop the swear words quite so casually or quietly. That is a man who has genuinely recognized some bullshit and wants to share that fact with the people around him.

"I've never felt such a high things" feels like a more on brand quote, but also the sort of thing you'd say when you genuinely don't know what's going on. There's some nice editing here, contrasting Sam's utter bafflement with Julian Clearly calmly and easily reaching to the top of the tower. A combination, I guess, of Julian being calmer in general, and of him being taller so grabbing the top is not such a big deal - this task would have Lucy Beaumont, whom I'm pretty sure is tiny, at quite a disadvantage, if she'd actually found the tower and reached for the top, which she didn't. (It's okay, Sam most wrestlers are shorter than average. There's a place where you'd fit in fine.)

Another brilliant tableau: Julian standing there holding the cans at the height they were before the tower started falling, as though he thinks that's still the top of the tower, while Alex visibly winces at how badly he's fucked up:

Yeesss, my boy Sammy C is coming through with exactly what I expected from him (oh right, forgot to mention at the beginning of his post my first belief that Sam Campbell's work demonstrates the skillset necessary to do very well in the Taskmaster tasks, not just for comedy but in terms of winning the most points, I predicted he'd win so now I'm rooting for that like he's a sports team, this is the side of me that uses Taskmaster as a sublimation of my competitive nature coming out)! Perfect execution. Find it, instantly figure out the game, carefully put the thing on top, and then just lie down so they can't fuck you with you further and make you mess it up. That is how you play.

No, no, don't give me that. You lay down because you figured out that that would be the best way to make sure you didn't ruin your chance of winning the task, even if it also meant no more comedy for a few minutes. And I respect that level of play. Sure, fine, find a comedic explanation for it to give in the studio. Do that all you like. Just please keep playing this well in the house because I have backed you pretty hard to win at this point.

Lovely. They implicitly promised us a disaster by saving Sue for last, and what a way to deliver. I like the level of profanity this task is generating. I think everyone's level of profanity increases pretty fast if you blindfold them and drop cans on their head.

Further proper, scream-laughing out loud is coming from Sue Perkins repeatedly demanding to know whether there's a tower in some other spot, reaching with her hand to show what spot she means, and in the process, knocking over what few cans were left in that spot. Fucking brilliant. Using this as the opening task was a great idea.

My favourite screenshot of the episode so far:

Team task! Hooray! We don't usually get one of those in the first episode, love this.

Team Sue! Team of Sues! I approve of that.

Susan Wokoma not noticing Sue Perkins has walked into the area would be funny if it were any two people, but it's especially funny because it's Sue Perkins, who is more famous than a lot of Taskmaster contestants. What would you do if you were just minding your own business and then Sue Perkins of Mel and Sue walked in behind you? I mean I'd probably do exactly what Susan Wokoma did, which is scream in a very amusing way.

I think I need to enter this one into the contest for Best Tableau of the Episode:

Seeing the initial duos, I immediately assumed Lucy would be on Team Sue. Because, I don't know, I guess women vs. men is something they've done before so I expected it again. Also, Sam/Julian has such a specifically odd energy that it felt like they'll stick with that as the team of two, and then the women who were excited to see each other could all be excited together with Lucy on the team of three. She'd fit in there.

It is so much funnier to have Lucy, instead of joining the Sues, awkwardly walk in on the awkward moment that Sam and Julian are already having and make it even more awkward. Love that none of those three people appear to know what to make of each other.

Taskmaster team tasks are fun that way because good chemistry can of course make a good team, but total lack of chemistry can also make a really fucking hilarious team. And it's really good when you get a season with one of one extreme and one of the other, like last season with the total dearth of chemistry that was Frankie/Ivo, contrasted against Mae/Kiell/Jenny who had a great time together. Looks like we might get something similar this year, given how well Team Sue instantly got along.

"Connect the most individual parts of one person to the most individual parts of another person. All members of your team must be connected. Your time starts now." No winning criteria specified there, which means that's only part one. So this is some season 8 shit, like the time they put a garbage back on Paul Sinha's head. Get tangled up but then the real trick is you have to do something while tangled. But will the contestants know that?

Team Sue does not. I don't know if this season has any proper Taskmaster nerds, which you'd really have to be to pick up on the fact that all tasks have criteria for winning, so if one is missing that then it's not the whole task.

They sure did have a great time, though. Team Sue confirming while tying each other together that they have not, in fact, met before. They just instantly got along. Again, I think Sue Perkins might just be able to connect immediately with everyone. What a fun time, and it is so clear that their task attempt is being edited in a way to emphasize the harmony, for maximum contrast against whatever the fuck the other team does.

Title drop! Greg Davies gets the first title drop of the season, sarcastically calling the awkward team "the natural friends". Some solid facial expressions here from the friends in question (well, two of the friends - Julian Clary remains fairly facially unflappable) that seem to confirm that they are remembering how right Greg is about to be proved about their lack of chemistry.

I've been trying to think of a portmanteau for the team of three, because finding portmanteaus is a lot easier than writing "team of two" and "team of three" over and over. Season 12 was so easy to write about because "Vicotrialan" and "Morguziree" went together so easily. One of those is easy this season - I'll just call them Team Sue. But the other one - God, they're so mismatched that even their names don't go together. Not enough syllables among them. Lusamian? Cleaubell? Not many good options.

What did I say? What did I say about Sam Campbell? I said he has the specific skillset that it takes to win Taskmaster. That skillset includes the creativity to immediately realize hair counts as a body part, combined with the audacity to be some guy from Australia who's half Julian's age, and we willing to ask famous TV comedian Julian Cleary to cut off stands of his own perfectly curated hair five minutes after meeting him. And, I guess, the abandon to have no hesitation about sacrificing some of his own hair for the task. God, he looks so much like a wrestler. I'm watching this and all I see is a first-year athlete who was a hotshot in high school but new to university sports, moves to a big city to be on a big varsity team, and on their first day decides to fuck with the best guy on the team. I've seen that happen more than once, and it usually involves the little guy getting beaten up quite quickly.

Oh, and then you throw Lucy into the mix, this is perfect. Julian is clearly trying to find the least inappropriate way to tell this kid asking him to cut his hair to fuck off, while Lucy launches into a long and unnecessary explanation of how her child got food in her hair. I've said "give these [two/three] a sitcom" about Taskmaster teams before, but rarely do I want that so badly, so early in a season. But I don't want them to write a sitcom together. I just want them to have to hang out and film their lives. Lucy could organize it, like Meet the Richardsons.

As far as tableaus go, this one's not bad:

To be fair, I guess I was wrong to assume Team Sue was being edited as a contrast against the disastrous performance of Team Cleaubell. The latter's performance was very good. But showing how much fun the Sues had together was certainly a funny contrast in chemistry levels.

Sam's story about the divers that were "not, like bubbly personalities, no offence [to Team Sue]" has again upped the already impressively high laugh count of this episode.

Ah, that's the sort of thing I hoped for when I heard we'd get Sue Perkins on Taskmaster. Her cheerfully calling Alex Horne a shitgiblet. Good stuff. This is all good stuff.

Quite a few more laughs in watching Team Sue drag themselves, each other, and a box across the finish line. That's some season six shit, reminiscent of Russell Howard and Alice Levine. Two people crossing a field while tied to each other and dragging a box - just some solid, classic good old fashioned Taskmaster fun.

I know Alex is kidding when he says he's going to "spoil" us with a location task, but that really is the case. A team task, a two-parter, and a location task all in episode 1. That's not common, but I like it. Show us everything we're working with.

I hope the editors had a really good time adding all that creepy animal footage.

Greatly enjoyed Lucy's story about being good at hook-the-duck in school (no idea what that is - is it a British school game or some shit that Lucy Beaumont had a dream about once?), because she could hook the ducks. I remain obsessed with her whole thing, whatever the hell it is.

First thought on hearing the task instructions: obviously you pop the inflatable duck, right? Does anyone pop the inflatable duck? It doesn't say you can't pop the inflatable duck.

And now we come to one of things I had seen spoilered, I saw a screenshot set of Lucy's utterly ludicrous talk with Greg about having arms where her legs should be. Amusing in screenshot form, obviously hilarious in the video. Lucy. Lucy, what are you? How do you work? Tell me your secrets.

I keep calling him "Sammy C" when I want to slightly ironically (honestly, not as ironically as I'd like to be about it) refer to Sam Campbell as something like the star of a sports team I'm rooting for, when I want to call him really good at the competitive elements because that's the sort of way his name would get abbreviated in a sports setting (I think I may have used the term "my boy" to describe him earlier in this post, also a thing people in a sports community tend to say about athletes they support, and I'm hoping my use of that term came off as a ironic even though in real life I absolutely use that term unironically and I was really being insufficiently ironic when applying it to Sam Campbell). However, someone else is looking so impressive here that I think I have to apply the same sports-style hype to her performance: Susie P! Susie P coming through with the lateral thinking of moving boundaries! What a classic! Fucking right!

...Is it weird that I think I've maybe never been more attracted to Sue Perkins? Which is saying a fair bit, as I was first attracted to her when I was about 19 and getting into The News Quiz.

That post-duck conversation was great, it's amazing how the studio banter is sparkling right from episode 1. They're all playing well off Greg and Alex, maybe a little more hesitation in playing off each other, but that's coming though. Great confused pleading from Lucy. Great sarcasm (that's not quite the right words, I guess - comedic condescention?) from Sue about the difference between a TV show and the law. Sam Campbell giggling in between them as they argued over him was a delight. But most of the credit for that what made that bit funny has to go to Lucy Beaumont - whatever her character is, she hits its notes perfectly.

Watching Julian Cleary get right up to a flamingo and then just not care and go right through it was funny. Obviously my favourites are the Taskmaster contestants who care way too much and get obsessive and competitive and argumentative and throw themselves right into it. But if a season has just one contestant who doesn't give a fuck, that can be funny. And I feel like Julian Cleary is perfectly suited to the "doesn't give a fuck on Taskmaster" role.

Well no one popped it, but Susan and Julian did find solid techniques. Showing that it's really not that hard to get it through if you spend about ten seconds finding a slightly different way to do it. I don't know why three people went with rolling it.

Okay, from a purely sports fan perspective here, nice that it turns out two people cheated so the one task in this episode (so far) where Sam did badly, he still finishes in the middle. Solid showing. Sorry for bringing sports competition into Taskmaster. I am, just so everyone knows, aware that it's the wrong way to watch it. I'm not like an American TV viewer who thinks there's a real prize. I like the comedy. But I really like competitions.

All right, this episode/post has already taken up most of my afternoon, so I decided to watch the entire live task instead of taking notes throughout it. That was great fun though. I always like the ones like that, where they get one turn at a time. Obviously got some good laughs on Sue calling Alex an "utter shit", and a bigger one on the "child of divorce" line (though that laugh would have been even bigger had I not seen a spoiler about it, I really need to stay off Tumblr until I watch these episodes). Loved the ending, that brief moment of glory when it looked like they weighed the same and he called it.

I can tell if Sam Campbell was being intentionally weird by not doing anything with the prizes after he won and then wandering away, or if he actually just didn't know what to do. Either way, that was also funny.

God, what a fantastic opener. Great season that it's setting up, I think, but also just really strong for a first episode. I cannot wait to see the rest of this.

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Mentopolis and The Big Guy

Gonna be honest: while I loved the trailer of Mentopolis and have seen it more times that I can count with both hands and feet, the premiere of the latest Dimension 20 season wasn't as attention-grabbing as I was expecting it to be. Which is probably because this is the first time I'm seeing Brennan Lee Mulligan be a game-master for a non-D&D actual play and I'm just not used to it.

It does pick up as the episode rolls along though, and by mid-way I was in for the ride. It just… It took a while to get there.

But I'm not here to gripe about the show. I don't actually have anything to gripe about. Because although Brennan didn't have a hundred percent of my attention, he still had around ninety-five percent. (Which is still a lot considering I'm not great at focusing these days.) I do, however, want to talk about all the things I loved--

The puns! I was like Mike Trapp with every new name Brennan uttered, trying to figure out what the wordplay is. And we really have to talk about how Brennan is so great at capturing a personality with just a name.

The mystery and the noir of it all! We start the episode with a murder, and before we're done with the introduction of the characters, we already get the table-setting of the mystery. The projections and the lighting are really doing some heavy lifting this episode, creating such an amazing atmosphere that transports you faster into the goings on of the city. But it's also a testament to Brennan's brilliant brain that there's no question which genre we're playing in: with his movement, the character voices he employed, and the way he unfolded the story and the relationships of the characters.

And finally: the players! I already knew Siobhan Thompson was gonna deliver the goods, and Mike Trapp is established to be just as smart and funny as Brennan--but this is my first time to watch the other players in a role-playing game and they are all amazing. Danielle Radford swings strongly with her (trailer-used) "a body! a body?" delivery and then goes all-out when she starts lobbing with Trapp.

Freddie Wong and Hank Green are fun, fantastic, and fearsome. Hank delivers one of the most solid intimidation scenes in all of the Dimension 20 content I've consumed so far--and he does it with a factoid concerning snakes and their dicks. It is exhilerating. But the episode's mvp for me has to be Alex Song-Xia. I'm not familiar with their body of work, but the way they played their character was just top-notch. You just want to hold them and hug them and tell them that everything's gonna be all right--even though you know things are about to get bad.

I'm already looking forward to next week's episode. Hopefully, whatever jitters Brennan had felt at the beginning of this episode won't be there--'cause he has nothing to worry about. He is good at this. I have no background with the system they're using this season and I didn't have a problem quickly grasping the concept of slick, sturdy, savvy, etc. And, after this season ends, I might actually start watching the non-D&D seasons on Dimension 20.

[those-who-stay]

For Mackie Samoskevich, playing hockey was not so much a choice as a birthright.  The Sandy Hook, Connecticut native doesn’t remember exactly when his parents set into motion the family’s backyard rink, but he suspects it predates him.

“I don’t think I was born yet.  They put down pavement; it was a whole job.  I remember seeing a picture of all the machines out in the backyard,” Samoskevich says with a smile. 

The backyard setup precluded the Samoskevichs from installing the pool they’d also fancied, but it invited a childhood with sticks and pucks ready to hand at all times for their three children.  “[My parents, Fred and Patty] definitely wanted the pool for sure, but I think [the rink] helped us out in the long run,” assesses the sophomore with his customary self-effacement.

Mackie, his elder sister Melissa, and twin sister Maddy (whose attempts at pronouncing her brother’s given name Matthew led to the nickname Mackie taking hold) laid the groundwork for their hockey careers on that backyard rink, whether on its wintertime ice or in its alternate summer concrete incarnation.

As Samoskevich explains it, “My dad hadn’t played to a high level, but he grew up loving the game.  I think his dad had gotten him into it at a pretty young age, so he was always a fan of hockey and always wanted his kids to play hockey.  It definitely worked out.”

In keeping with his soft-spoken disposition, the winger again undersold his siblings’ and his success.  Melissa now works as the director of player development and operations at her alma mater Quinnipiac, while also continuing her playing career in her third season for the Premier Hockey Federation’s Connecticut Whale.  Maddy, the lone blue liner amongst the three siblings, is a junior for the Bobcats with six assists already in just eleven games.  With a 10-1 record, Quinnipiac sits at fifth in the latest USCHO poll.

For the siblings, a shared bond of playing hockey helped brighten the day-to-day grind of sharpening their skills. “We’d always be in the backyard, shooting together and playing games,” Mackie says.  “Just having that was super special. It’s really nice to have days where I’m feeling tired and they get me out of the house [to play together] or vice versa.”

Ten games into his sophomore season at Michigan, Mackie has stepped outside of the shadow of last year’s Olympian teammates like Brendan Brisson, Kent Johnson, or Matty Beniers and into the running for the Hobey Baker.  He has eight goals and seven assists for a neat point-and-a-half per game.

A year ago, Samoskevich was no afterthought for the Wolverines, even as a freshman on one of the most talented rosters in the history of NCAA hockey.  He scored twenty-nine points in forty games and received the Big Ten’s All-Freshman honors.  Still, he did so without the burden or opportunity, depending on one’s perspective, of putting in the longest shift in the team’s offensive engine room.  Despite his impressive point total, Samoskevich played only third-line minutes with some power play time mixed in as a freshman, before flourishing with a greater role as a sophomore.

According to his head coach Brandon Naurato (an assistant a year ago for his first season in Ann Arbor), it makes more sense to frame Samoskevich’s sophomore ascendance as the byproduct of his limited freshman role rather than a natural development once roster turnover made more room for him.

“He wasn’t great right away,” Naurato says.  “Did he deserve more time?  Sure, he deserved more time, but [playing on the third line] might have been the best thing for him because he’s like ‘I don’t like playing twelve minutes, I think I should be playing seventeen, I’m going to do something.’  He’s always been an elite player, and he’s taken another step.  He went through some pain that made him stronger. Not even pain, but he wanted more out of himself, and he’s looking in the mirror, and he just took steps.”

One of Samoskevich’s new responsibilities is taking shifts on the penalty kill, a decision Naurato explains was at its most basic an effort to “take care of the boys.”  He added “your best players should play in all situations.  It’s better development for him long term.  He may not start in the NHL and play in the same spot [on the flank] that he can on the power play, but what if he can come in and he can kill?  What if he learns how to check?”

Naurato points to former Wolverine Carl Hagelin as an example of an offensive star in college who ended up with two Stanley Cups and $30 million in the bank by becoming one of the NHL’s top penalty killers and checkers.

Samoskevich adds that earning minutes on the PK has been a tool to stay engaged in any game state: “It definitely helps because when you’re not killing, you’re sitting on the bench for two minutes, three minutes, and maybe extends a little bit more.  It’s nice to just get out there.”

For Samoskevich, that the beginning of his freshman season provided a challenge came as no surprise: “I think that your first year anywhere when you go up a level, it’s gonna be harder, and it’s gonna be an adjustment period.”

From his head coach’s point of view, Samoskevich’s progress is well deserved: “He’s a really hard worker and a very cerebral player, and I’m happy for him.  He’s way harder, way harder.  [In the early going of his freshman season] it was all skill.  When he first came here he wasn’t soft.  He just didn’t know how hard it is to have success.”

Both coach and player also point out the importance of observing the habits of future NHLers in the form of then-sophomores Owen Power, Johnson, and Beniers.  Naurato points out that it was impossible to ignore the work that trio put in as sophomores despite their shared status as top-five NHL picks.  

“I’m not saying I [knew how hard it was to become a pro] at that age,” Naurato says. “And I wasn’t even as close to as good as [my players today], but just being around those guys all the time you see that any successful person in life—they’re not successful because of their job title. They’re successful because of the path and failure.”

Meanwhile, Samoskevich admired the way the teammates one year his elder embraced leadership, even though it was only their second year on campus: “It was nice to have the guys in the sophomore class that we had and just see how they handled that role.  Just how they [went] around their everyday, their little habits.  Owen was such a creature of the small little things that build up everyday.”

Adjusting to new environments is nothing new for Samoskevich.  Though Connecticutian by birth, Michigan’s burgeoning star forward has been on a roundabout tour of the Midwest pursuing his hockey career since his early teens.  First, it was Shattuck-St. Mary’s, the famed Minnesota prep school whose alums include Nathan MacKinnon, Jocelyn and Monique Lamoureux, and Brisson.  Then it was Chicago and the USHL, where Samoskevich won a Clark Cup for the Steel, before moving on to Ann Arbor.

When asked about his travels through a region that is not his home, Samoskevich smiles. “I’ve loved it.  Minnesota was definitely different.  Definitely colder.  I wasn’t used to that when I was fourteen, but I think it was a good thing to get out at a young age, just learn how to take care of myself away from my parents.”

Though the move to Shattuck carried with it a step toward independence, it did not take him beyond family bonds. “The reason why I went out there is because my sister [Melissa] went out there.  It was a good program, and she loved all four years, so I thought I’d go out there with my sister [Maddy].”

Six years after leaving Fairfield County for Faribault, Minnesota, Mackie Samoskevich is a vital cog in college hockey’s most formidable line.  Alongside Adam Fantilli and Dylan Duke, the quiet confidence with which Samoskevich carries himself off the ice manifests as a creative flair.

When you watch Samoskevich play (regardless of teammates), you first notice his release and his skating.  If the puck is on his tape with an unfettered look at the net, there’s a good chance you won’t see it again until the goaltender is fishing it out from behind him.

If has open ice to skate into, you aren’t catching him.

Yet even as his shot and top speed command attention, there is something more mesmeric about the way he can jaunt through the neutral zone without having to slam the accelerator to the floorboards.

There is almost a playful quality to the way he sidles past one defender and traipses around another, before laying the puck on for his teammates.  

There was something defiant in the backhand he roofed in an October home victory over Western Michigan.  Having received an expert keep-in from Luke Hughes, Samoskevich—using nothing more than his patience—reduced Bronco defenseman Jacob Bauer to sprawling across the ice in desperation.  From there, Samoskevich had no real options other than a backhand but still seemed to deceive WMU goaltender Cameron Rowe by preceding his instantaneous release with still more patience.

During a period of the season in which Naurato has made experimenting with line combinations an expressed focus, Michigan’s top line of Fantilli between Samoskevich and Duke remains untouched.  It is not hard to understand why.  Through ten games, the trio accounts for twenty-one of the Wolverines’ forty-six goals (45.6%).

Though they had never operated as a triumvirate before, neither Duke nor Fantilli was a new linemate for Samoskevich.

As freshmen, he and Duke settled into a role abreast of Johnny Beecher on the Wolverines’ third line.  Duke’s ruggedness along the boards, along with his craftiness at the netfront, paired neatly with Samoskevich’s speed and skill.

“There’s definitely a lot of chemistry that we carried over from last year,” Duke explains.  “We had a really good understanding of how we play and how our different skill sets can work together and create a lot of sustained o-zone time, and you know, score a lot of goals.”

Meanwhile, Fantilli and Samoskevich played alongside one another with the Chicago Steel.  As Duke said of him, Samoskevich emphasizes a shared understanding of approach as central to the strong chemistry he’s demonstrated with Fantilli.  “We got coached together [in Chicago], so we think the game alike.”  Ever one to downplay his own success, he adds “I think it’s coming along, and I think it’s just gonna keep getting better and better.”  2.1 goals per game between them, and Samoskevich believes the line remains a work in progress.

That Samoskevich has a near perfect split of his fifteen points (eight goals, seven assists) bespeaks an intentional commitment to being a dual threat player.  Though he grew up a Ranger fan, Samoskevich’s favorite NHLer is the Islanders Mathew Barzal.  The young winger attributes some of his knack for graceful rushes up the ice to studying Barzal’s game.

Samoskevich says that he loved Barzal’s playmaking, “how he creates space for his teammates.  I think that was the biggest thing that made me fall in love with him, and there’s so many videos of him just skating around the zone and then all of a sudden the play just appears from him.”

While the forward his teammates affectionately refer to as “Samo” sharpened his playmaking craft by studying the Islanders star, he credits his fearsome shot to the hours logged out on the backyard rink.  “I think I developed [my shot] by myself.  Like I said, in the backyard, it was something I did day in and day out.  It’s better to be more a passer AND a shooter, dual threat.  It’s harder to defend and makes me more dangerous as a player.” It is the closest Samoskevich ever comes to boastfulness, and, given his production, it is more than deserved.

When he’s not on the ice, Samoskevich garners attention from his teammates for his commitment to a housebound lifestyle.  In a mid-October edition of @umichhockey’s weekly Monday Question, several teammates expressed that they would love to experience the winger’s “insane routine” featuring naps, movies, and DoorDash.

Duke, who lives with Samoskevich in addition to sharing top-line duties with him, pauses when asked for something he’s learned about his fellow sophomore. The Ohioan winger jokes that he doesn’t want to “throw [Mackie] under the bus” before revealing that his room- and line-mate is an expert at making egg sandwiches.  According to Duke, Samoskevich will use whatever bread is on hand at their house, “but he loves his ketchup with his eggs.”

When the pair aren’t enjoying Samoskevich-prepared egg sandwiches, they are liable to be found on the virtual battlefields of Fortnite.  As Duke tells it, the duo, along with Luke Hughes and Ethan Edwards, have “a little squad going.”  

Based on Duke’s scouting report, “Edwards is definitely the best.  Mackie is mediocre, in the middle.  Luke’s just under Mackie, and then I’m the worst by far.”  Evidently, Duke’s workmanlike streak on the ice extends to video games—“I’m more there just to carry shields.”

As Sara Civian’s semiweekly style rankings for Bleacher Report attest, interest in pregame fashion has—like an attacking penalty kill or the fluid interchange of a center and his wingers—come into vogue in NHL circles in recent years. Perhaps this image from prior to his team’s October 16th contest with BU is the best distillation of Samoskevich.

The photo depicts the forward walking into Yost: a Michigan toque perched atop his head with a crisp blue-checked suit paired with Adidas slides.  The hint of a bandage peeking out from beneath the strap of his right sandal suggests that the footwear may be the byproduct of injury.

Even if that were the case, it’s hard not to read more into his pregame stylings. The sharp tailoring of his suit suggests focus, self-seriousness, and performance, yet the sandals show that even at his imperious best, Samoskevich projects a certain ease.  If nothing else, the pregame flip-flops appear appropriate for a player selected in the first round of the 2021 NHL Draft by the Panthers and thus for whom a professional future in South Florida awaits.

ARTICLE FROM GULO GULO HOCKEY

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[salted-anime-takes]

Sword Art Online (S1 & S2; dropped after that)

Author: Reki Kawahara, originally light novels

Studio: A-1 Pictures

Genres (Listed by MAL): Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Romance (vomits), Love Polygon (kills you)

Premiered: Summer 2012

Anime vs. Manga?: You couldn't pay me less than $100 to consume additional content to this series. I'd also need a large margarita.

Salted Genres: stereotypical teen boy fantasy, loser cardboard male mc, harem of women too good for him, jesus christ they had a torture dungeon for main girl in S2 by some grown man obsessed with her???, jesus FUCKING christ they gave Kirito a cousin who is into him but reasoned it off not being totally blood related, why did we let this series get so popular

Major Trigger Warnings: that weird sex dungeon thing in S2, almost incest, shitty writing, shitty love polygon garbage

Can I Watch It Around My Parents?: Just don't watch it. The cultural context isn't worth it. Do yourself a favor and stop thinking isekai will be family friendly when the main audience is incels.

Artstyle: That moe-esque style without any personality and makes all the main characters look 12, and many side characters look ridiculously older.

Personal Review: I will never forgive SAO for kicking off the isekai genre in anime so hard. Fuck yourself, Kirito. Every other anime lead in isekai is just you. Fuck this garbage pile for the isekai boom. Fuck my life

Context: This is the real reason you're here, aside from the scathing remarks you've probably heard a billion times. Why the fuck is this show even relevant? Let's go back to the early 2010s, before half of tumblr could pretend to read. (This is mostly from the Western perspective, so please add anything else happening in the world with this wild popularity jump, because I'd LOVE to hear additional takes.) Several factors were going on. Firstly, Netflix was finally a full streaming service, and most people were starting to subscribe. You didn't have to hope it was on Toonami or go to whatever sketchy websites had anime illegally available (and get every virus known to computer-kind) to get your fix anymore. Well... for a small starting selection. Secondly, while the isekai genre was already a fully developed thing, it hadn't broken into the majority Western anime viewership circles, which barely ventured outside of Toonami at the time. Then along came SAO. Netflix got the rights to the entire first season, and suddenly, it was not only insanely accessible but also something most Western fans had never seen before. You die in the game, you die in real life?! Incredible!!! (Sorry Tron, you weren't high fantasy enough for this crowd.) Thirdly, gaming was finally mainstream, and watching streamers was a new norm. The timing couldn't have been better for its release. And what with the insane levels of ignorance and assumptions most Western anime watchers had at the time of anime tropes, most red flags discussed were merely looked over. We let too much slide in the early 2010s, and SAO was one of the biggest culprits. Fourthly, if you needed a gateway anime? SAO didn't require any sort of understanding of Japanese culture to get, which appealed to a lot of people who didn't want to think outside their box, as was the early 2010s. Despite it all, SAO was easy merchandise. Hot Topic (apologies for the American chain drop) was venturing into nerd culture and including some nice trinkets for the little nerds that hung out with their goth besties, and anime merch- including SAO- was some of the first big hits. After that? It's history. I don't know if anyone who still claims to like SAO actually is banking on nostalgia or just never gained tastes beyond a lameass horny 15 year old boy, but that boom it created gave so many light novel writers the ticket they needed to get isekai as a major genre in today's seasonal anime lineup.

Favorite Character: Asuna deserved better you motherfuckers. She actually did stuff until you get thrown into the most unnecessary slice of life arc where they begin the Sexualization. S2 cour 2 they gave her a genuinely interesting opportunity to be a lead, AND Kirito wasn't there. Still not worth watching.

Fandom: you couldn't pay me ANYTHING to check this.