#THE INTERNATIONAL IDOL
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Flower for you!
After enough loops, the party can explore the town before Siffrin wakes up
#3 pages! lets gooo#siffrin? more like sif is out au#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat odile#odile#isat isabeau#isabeau#isat mirabelle#isat bonnie#isabeau have a 1k internal monologue about this flower#so does bonnie. they go 'you are my idol. i hate you. i owe you for the flower you gave me? but is gone! so idk you are weird'#isat au
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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EST SUPHA as PO and WILLIAM JAKRAPATR as THAME in Thame - Po ・HEART THAT SKIPS A BEAT (2024ISH)
#heart that skips a beat#thamepo#thamepo heart that skips a beat#gmmtv 2024#estwilliam#thamepo the series#william jakrapatr#est supha#Y'ALL THEY GOT ME GOOD WITH THIS TRAILER#IT WAS MY SECOND FAVORITE AFTER THE HEART KILLERS ONE#I WAS EXPECTING AN ESTWILLIAM SHOW BC YK THE HINTS AND EVERYTHING#BUT FOR SOME REASON I'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT A SHOW POSSIBLY INCLUDING LYKN AND THEIR IDOL LIFE LOL#BUT DANG I'M INTRIGUED NOW#PLUS I AM VERY MUCH LIKING THEIR CHEMISTRY SO FAR#(ALSO WHAT'S THE ACTUAL INTERNATIONAL TITLE OF THE SHOW ??????)#my edits#gmmtv2024#gmmtv 2024 part 2#htsabedit#thame po#thamepoedit
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I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE BUT NOW I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS GIF
#lisa#blackpink#variety#ncuti gatwa#bill skarsgård#actors#meme#international#lgbtq#cackling#femaleidol#male idols#celebrity#photoshoots#fashion#face card
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AI-Less Whumptober Day 28 - Internal Bleeding/Needle and Thread
Duel - Ep. 3
Kkondae Intern - Ep. 8
Fireworks of My Heart - Ep. 5
Seobok (2022)
Heavenly Idol - Ep. 6
Previous 28/31 Next
#whump#whump gifs#asian whump#ailesswhumptober2024#ailesswhumptober day 28#whump community#whump tropes#internal bleeding#stitches#needle and thread#tw blo0d#chinese drama#kdrama#injured#seobok#heavenly idol#fireworks of my heart#duel#kkondae intern
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The apparition of Kuea in this episode has finally made me realize the common point between the men of Idol Factory's gl. What I like is that they don't make ''the guy'' an awful person like for example the husband in Couple of mirrors or the Count in the Handmaiden. ''the guy'' in sapphic media is often an abusive jerk, much like ''the girl'' in bls is often a manipulative ''pick-me''. But not in Gap, not in Dream and (as of right now) not in the Loyal Pin. In fact ''the guy'' is really caring, he genuinely loves Sam/Kim/Pin, he's respectful, devoted....In fact, if this wasn't a gl, I would root for him.
BUT there's something different with Kuea which highlighted for me what was wrong with Kirk and Marwin as well. Entitlment. Kirk wanted to help Sam so he just started doing buisness behind her back for things regarding her own compagny, without telling her. Because he felt that, since they were going to get married, he had a right to do that. He felt he could tell Mon to back off because Sam was technically his, even if he knew perfectly their engagement was against Sam's will. He felt entitled to her. Just like Marwin didn't care about Kim's wants, or her obvious feelings for Wan. It doesn't matter what SHE wants, because someone, anyone, the mother the grandmother or society told him that's what's right. Those men's feelings for those women justified going against their will, because ''I love her, so I want what's best for her, and I'm obviously right in what I think is best''. Entitlment.
Kirk took it best. At the end, it even seems like he got through with the wedding because the Grandmother kinda forced him. Marwin took it awfully, and resorted to extremely petty and frankly pathetic revenge.
Kuea is different because unlike the two others, we can see from the beginning what we can realize later about them : Pin is visibly uncomfortable about him being there, and she barely tries to conceal it. Honestly, I believe that according to the rules of their class and their time period (that I don't know anything about so I'm assuming), she's been as rude with him as her personality allows her to be. But he still feels like he can continue to pursue her, because it is what's right, what makes sense, what society expects. His entitlment comes from there.
And I find it refreshing that ''the guy'' is not a 2 dimensional generic homophobic hyper toxic dude (not saying that when the man is obviously very awful he's necessarily a bland character). These guys feel more realistic because they don't intend to harm, but they do, because they're just so sure they're the best man around and what this woman needs. They're not mean and they're not cruel, they must think they're actually super nice, and they act like gentlemen, but at the end of the day, when it comes down to the real things, they don't value the opinion of the woman they ''love'', nor her feelings. I like these archetype, and I like that these 3 characters are different and I can't wait to see how Kuea is going to evolve.
I personally think he's going to be the worst out of the 3
#lots of words to say that men are entitled#Who would've guessed#I'm kidding !#the same could be said about Nu from TSOU but he's in fact a gay icon and just following his own internalized stuff#So I can't actually count him#the loyal pin#gap the series#my marvellous dream is you#gl series#idol factory
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"Thread of tweets I hope skz have seen" << literally 20 unfunny tweets I hope they never have the displeasure of seeing
#there was like 2 good ones in that thread but they were screenshots from elsewhere so like ?#also why do skz fans act like skz is the only group in kpop that does gaybaiting shit....#like skz arent special with that its been an internal sales mechanism of idols forever please be fr right now#other idols would never *insert thing ive seen other idols do 1 million times*#youre being embarrassing lmao#like one of the tweets was a joke that was just And then changbin said he was tall with a pic of han and chan laughing and ?????????????#brother thats a 7 yr old child ass joke cmon
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A stan since I was a little girl 💪💪💪
Art from Pinterest
Edit by me :D
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#vocaloid hatsune#vocaloid miku#miku#hatsune#hatsune miku fanart#miku fanart#hatsune fanart#miku hatsune icons#project sekai#project sekai miku#project sekai hatsune miku#vocaloid art#idol#japanese idol#international hatsune miku#international miku#vocaloid hatsune miku
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Euro5tar & Me
#music#soundcloud#underground#swizerland#europe#international#globaltrends#global news#vibes#swag#america#americana#west coast#east coast#overseascareer#overseas idol#winning#going up#collaboration
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CLOUD9 AGENCY ☁ JJK X OC
Ⓒ bluenpjm — all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own.
synopsis. faced with decisions that can change the course of her career, the art director of the cloud9 agency decides it is time to act and reignite the flame she had once lost. and all because of an intern… genre. non-idol au ; slice of life au ; intern!jungkook ◦ fluff ◦ angst ◦ smut pairing. JJK x OC rating. M wordcount. 4.8K warnings. foul words, violent thoughts, sad vibes and life not making sense, drinking, arguing, just a lot of different feelings! a/n. a really really late birthday gift to my #1 supporter of this story. happy late birthday lulu, you're the best! 🥺💛🌻 chapters. 3 — 4 — 5
It hadn’t been the first time someone had disappointed Carolina. It had been, however, the first time she had allowed someone to get too close too quickly. And that was a mistake she wouldn’t be committing again anytime soon. After all, you learn from your mistakes. At least you should.
She storms towards the elevator, her anger seething within her.
Carolina doesn’t care to collect any of her belongings that stay laid in her office—and for the sake of everyone in that entire building, it would be best that her little purple troll with neon green hair would be in the box with her stuff the next day. Horace—the troll—had been her companion throughout the most challenging moments of trite; that, and her camera. Cassandra never bothered to replace the agency’s old one that, for the entire time Carolina had been with Cloud9, had been broken and merely acting as yet another item in her glass office to be left to collect dust.
Already inside the elevator, she faces the crowd for the seconds it takes the doors to close—some people had already started whispering, others dispersed once faced with Cassandra, while the one intern that she cared about didn’t move; her eyes are on him and she doesn’t look away until the doors close. As she begins its descent, she’s met with her reflection in the steel doors. She wants to scream and punch someone. Wholeheartedly, she wouldn’t mind punching both Jungkook and Cassandra straight in the face. “Stupid Jungkook,” she mutters under her breath, hands falling to her hips. “Fuck you and your meaningless empty words.”
Her chest keeps rising and falling as she crouches on the floor, practicing her breathing exercises to calm her racing nerves, as the box keeps on dinging, signaling that she is closer and closer to the ground level.
Stepping out of the tall building that had been her workplace for the last couple of years, Carolina stood on the bustling sidewalk, the busy street teeming with people despite the hour. She hated early meetings. In fact, she hated all sorts of meetings. There was no need to have an entire team stop their days so that they could waste 45 minutes of their busy schedules to speak about something that could easily be an email.
Her work day was managed according to her own will. The team that worked closely with the creative director was used to her being offline in the morning and extremely active during night hours. Her brain became electric after midnight and they had all been able to coordinate a pretty balanced work schedule so they could communicate effectively.
With its modern design, the towering building loomed above her. Car horns, the hurried footsteps, and the chatter of pedestrians created a symphony of urban chaos that served as background noise for the audio message she was recording for her best friends, trying her best to veil her frustration and disappointment as she recounted the situation. She knew she didn’t have to lie; in fact, it only worried her that her friends would jump Cassandra in the street or key her car. It wasn’t like her to openly discuss her feelings. Instead, she made some jokes.
“But yeah—” She pauses briefly, phone momentarily touching her lips. “I’ll be seeing you guys at 8 pm. As usual. Peace out!”
She hits the green button, sending her audio through, before immediately typing a quick message so they don’t rush to listen to her recording. 15 entire minutes of her ranting about her day so early in the morning would definitely alarm them.
Her ride finally arrives and she lets out a sigh of relief as she climbs into the backseat. The added feature of no conversation was a blessing as her mind throbbed with frustration. Leaning back against the comfortable leather seats, Carolina closes her eyes and lets the soothing melodies of the music playing on the radio wash over her. As the car began its journey, the towering buildings of the city gradually faded into the background, replaced by the familiar sights of her own neighborhood. The streets became lined with quaint houses and small local businesses.
From time to time, she would open her eyes, checking that the normal-looking guy who was driving her home didn’t have a little bit of Joe Goldberg in him and took a detour to his secret layer where he would try to murder her. She had been devouring true crime podcasts and it had quickly taken over her mind—whichever situation she found herself in could be the perfect crime scene. Sometimes she even found herself looking for ways to leave clues behind so that the investigative team could find her body.
But as her paranoid mind came to ease, she couldn’t help but appreciate the contrast between the hectic city and the peacefulness of her neighborhood. The cool breeze gently brushed against her face as she peered out of the window, and her home was just around the corner. She longed for a cold shower, a chance to wash away the stress and frustrations that had been weighing on her shoulders.
Successfully arriving home without being kidnapped, Carolina takes the stairs up to the third floor. The elevator in her building had been making weird noises and after getting stuck there twice, she decided not to put her luck to the test any longer. The angels were probably worrying about someone else because she was having one hell of a day.
She feels exhausted and defeated. As she closes the door behind her, one of her shoes is already flying as she swiftly takes it off. The other follows suit. Tossing her keys on top of her bag that had also been thrown to the floor, she moved with automatic precision toward the bathroom.
The soothing sound of running water fills the room as Carolina turns the faucet, letting it pour into the bathtub. The cold shower is replaced by a warm bath that would hopefully serve as a place to unwind and let go of the stress that had accumulated throughout her morning. The day had barely started and she was feeling drained.
Stepping into the warm water, she lets out a sigh of relief as it caresses her skin, the tension in her muscles slowly melting away. But the feeling of betrayal kept lingering in her mind, as she could still vividly picture Jungkook’s doe eyes stuck to the floor, the question of why he hadn’t backed her up as he promised haunting her. Closing her eyes, Carolina submerges herself in the water, wanting nothing more than the world surrounding her to fade away.
By the time Carolina left her bathroom, she was surprised to find her living room dimly lit, washed in tones of orange as the sun had already begun to set. She fetched her phone and wasn't surprised by the thousands of messages her friends had sent her, both on their group but also in the private chat. She was expecting them to explode by the news—that, and that they were going to kill her because of the lack of communication.
Her wrinkly fingers wouldn't allow her to leave a fingerprint behind, making it impossible to unlock her phone. Her attention fell on the time displayed on the screen instead and she knew she had to hurry if she didn't want to be yet again late to their dinner date.
Carolina’s encounter with her friends that evening was based on venting frustrations and only after she had some drinks and shared some laughs, they discussed her situation with Cassandra and Jungkook. As she had expected, the two girls immediately began a plan to make the lives of the two people who were tormenting her friend’s mind a living hell.
As the evening drew to a close, Carolina managed to put her friends in their respective cars, calling one for herself while feeling grateful for them. She knew that with the two she would never be alone in her struggles and that they would always be there for her. But as she arrived home, she couldn’t help but check her phone for any missed messages. Despite still being upset with Jungkook, deep down she craved to have something from him—some sort of explanation for his reaction earlier. Scrolling through her social media, the feelings only grew inside her and she decided it was time to call it a day. Setting her phone down, the silence in her room is deafening and it feels like it’s spinning. She just wanted to close her eyes and forget this day ever happened.
As days turned into weeks, Carolina’s rage faded down.
After quitting her job, her days settled into a monotonous rhythm. Her once bustling schedule was now a simple sequence of actions that played out in the confined space of her house. The path she treaded between her bed, the fridge, and the bathroom would soon start to feel worn, like a well-trodden trail that could be found in the woods.
During the initial days of her newfound routine, Carolina found a peculiar comfort in the limited space, as if the world beyond was too vast and too overwhelming to face. Deep down, she had been craving this alone time; this silence—a relief. The constant ringing of her phone, which had once been a constant reminder of work-related stress, was now replaced by a soothing quietness. For the first time in a while, she was able to breathe in the stillness of her surroundings.
However, a sense of emptiness began to creep into her life. Despite the wanted freedom, an undeniable void had emerged. Her phone became a reminder and creator of chaos in her mind. Whenever it chimed, her heart would skip a beat, anticipation rising in her chest. Her thoughts darted between who could be the culprit behind the sensation of the mini heart attack she suffered with each buzz. Most times, it would be her friends. But those weren’t the calls or messages that she craved; her mind darted to the possibility of it being him.
Jungkook crossed her mind endless times per day. The man who, somehow, had vanished from her life. His absence, although appreciated at first, started to gnaw at her, the frustration and anger that had been her initial response giving way to more complex emotions. She started feeling helpless. The more shows she binged, the more she started to realize that her life, in that moment, was stripped of sense.
Carolina’s thoughts seemed to gravitate towards Jungkook with every passing day. She would catch herself wondering where he was, what he was doing, and whether he was thinking about her as much as she thought of him. And every time, she would end up feeling ridiculous by occupying her mind with someone whom she believed she didn’t mean half as much to.
“So,” At the sound of her friend’s voice, Carolina’s gaze left the blurry images that were displayed on her screen to face the girl sitting on the other end of the couch.
“Oh no…” She sighed, fighting the urge to massage her temples. “what is it this time?”
“How’s that portfolio coming along?” Deo eyed Carolina through her eyebrows as she sipped on the noodles that were fuming from the cup in her hand.
“It’s coming.” The short answer was an easy indicator of the lack of interest regarding the topic. “Ya’ know.”
The friend hummed and Carolina pursed her lips together. Her friends had been bugging her for the past week so that she would get some work done. Deep down, she knew that this was their attempt at making her leave the somewhat depressing state she had allowed her body to grow into. She wasn’t like this—the type to back down; cross her arms while the world revolved and she remained still. She was a force of nature to be reckoned with. And so, it was odd to see her so defeated.
That night, however, after saying goodbye to her friend, she didn’t go to bed. She didn’t slouch on her couch either, as usual, Netflix playing on the screen of the TV with the most recent drama until she either finished it, the sun rose or she fell asleep. Instead, she managed to take all the clothes that laid on her desk’s chair and moved them to her bed, allowing her to sit in front of her laptop for the first time in weeks.
The first couple of times she hit the power button, it wouldn’t turn on, completely drained of power. So, Carolina lost a couple more minutes looking for the charger.
It took some minutes for the machine to reboot and for the screen to make her dark eyes glow. Opening the first drawer of her desk, she fetched an old dotted notebook and started to outline a strategy. In her mind, it wasn’t that clear yet, but Carolina had started to define, step by step, how she was going to get control of her life again and make it incredible.
The visual identity of her very own agency wasn’t done that night. The sun rose and she continued glued to her screen. And after a couple of days, she contacted previous clients, explained her new situation, and offered her services. She planned to start her very own agency, offering her creative mind to those in need. A modern-day superhero, if one could say.
The first couple of months were hard—harder than Carolina had anticipated. Regardless, she was in a good place. After a long day, her mind didn’t wander back to Jungkook; she didn’t think of him at all. He had become a wound that healed—a thought that she managed to wipe completely from her mind.
Someone once said that the most beautiful parts of life were in the small things. Carolina’s small thing lately was the group of people who acted as her employees—some freelancers that she hired to help out on her projects. The group worked weirdly in sync together and they had been a constant in her life in the last weeks.
Lu, a photographer with a keen eye for art and amazing drawing skills, had become a close friend. The other girl in the group was Sarah, a writer who would often pitch in Carolina’s social media strategies. The three girls were walking to the bar after hitting the dance floor of a club for the past thirty minutes.
“Are you official, yet?” Sarah nudged Carolina on her side, head tilting to a table where 5 guys were sitting. The latter’s eyes followed and landed on the one who was trying to vent some air through his black shirt. Jae. Carolina laughed. “Exclusive, then?”
“We’re playing a dangerous game already,” Carolina turned her back to the table, viewing the ludicrous wall of liquor. “Giving it a label will only make it more complicated.”
“Those big round eyes—he looks just like a lost puppy,” Lu’s speech is slurred.
“Getting strays off the streets is more your scene. How’s Lucious?” Carolina joked wittedly, remembering that just last week the girl had sent her a photo of a stray cat that she rescued from the streets. It would be kitty number four now and she was certain that the it’s just temporary—until I find someone to take him talk was a big fat lie.
As the conversation develops between the other two girls, Carolina’s eyes fall on the subject of their previous conversation. If anyone had asked her about him, she would most likely say he's nobody—better yet, a work colleague; someone that she hired now and then to help her out on her gigs. But when her friends asked, it had become quite evident that their little rendezvous after work, which usually resulted in her doing a walk of shame back to her apartment the next morning and ignoring his texts for the next couple of days until work brought them together had become more and more common and Carolina was trying her best so that people wouldn’t notice how he messed with her head and heart. Their eyes meet and Jae gives Carolina a giant smile, which she shyly reciprocates before turning around to face the bar yet again.
People-watching was one of Carolina’s favorite hobbies. Her creative mind would go wild, creating stories according to the faces of the people in her sight, sometimes even roaming into the dialogues they were having. Lucky for her, the area is packed.
A woman, not much older than her—or at least she guessed—playfully twirled her hair between her fingers, a radiant smile on her lips as she talked to a guy next to her. He had the puffiest lips Carolina had seen that night and it was evident by his body language that he hadn’t kissed or been kissed enough that night.
Another man sat not so far away and, in contrast to the people next to him, he was gloomy. Head was swinging up and down as his focus was on catching the attention of the barman to ask him for another drink. That one certainly would have a hard time finding a taxi home. And that is of course if he wouldn’t end up sleeping on one of the benches outside of the club.
The barman that the gloom wanted to attract was busy taking the orders of a young man over the loud noise of the music. The man was leaning his whole body on the counter in a kind of boyish manner, trying his best to speak clearly despite his eyes already appearing somewhat foggy. As he finally finishes, the barman gives him an assertive nod and the man smiles. And suddenly it clicks… that smile. It sends Carolina down a spiral and she has to control the pulsating need that rushes through her body.
“Hey, you’re feeling ok?” Lu rapidly asks but gets no response. “Are you going to throw up?”
Carolina focuses on the man’s movements and sees how he licks his lips as his back hits the counter, attention dispersing to something—or someone—in the crowd. His silhouette was unmistakable amidst the sea of gyrating bodies now that she had found him. Her eyes dart from his profile to the back of his head and it’s like she has laser vision and it’s starting to burn a hole in his head as his hand comes to caress the area. It’s at that moment that their eyes meet for brief seconds.
“I’ll be right back,” Carolina speaks through gritted teeth, not noticing the man taking a double look at her.
“Where are you going?” Sarah’s concern is palpable in her voice as she watches Carolina dart through the crowd.
The pulsating bass of the music reverberated through the dimly lit club, creating a rhythmic throb that seemed to synchronize with Carolina’s racing heartbeat. The air had suddenly become dense with laughter, chatter, and the occasional clink of glasses.
Carolina’s eyes finally meet the man’s surprised ones again. Determination fueled her steps as she pushed through the tightly packed room, navigating the ocean of people that ebbed and flowed around the bar. Each step felt heavy, like a battle against a roaring sea, the tide pushing her back in the shape of warm bodies that added to the suffocating atmosphere. The scent of perfume, sweat, and spilled drinks mingled in the air; it felt nauseating, the surge of emotions of seeing him after so long threatening to spill over.
Her breaths came in shallow gasps as emotions threatened to consume her, and yet, the determination to confront the man she had managed to extinguish from her mind propelled her forward. Carolina stands before him, hands resting on her hips as her eyes lock into his. The world seemed to quiet for a moment, the surrounding chaos fading into the background as she prepared to unleash the torrent of emotions that had simmered within her.
“Carolina, I—” And as her name rolls out of the man’s tongue, she almost crumbles, getting hit by sudden nostalgia. His shaky eyes scan her entirely and she restrains her body from moving. Jungkook is only steps away from her and where she thought hurt would lay, a sense of antipathy is born.
"Cat got your tongue?"
Yet again, they were face to face. Had she been completely honest, Carolina was terrified. Her life was decent—good, even. She was healthy, and happy, and enjoyed what she was doing. She was proud of her projects. She would even wake up some mornings and go for a jog. But encountering Jungkook at the club and being with him in the intoxicating setting such as his car, with all those memories and all those emotions, made her swing back and forth between maintaining her cool and ignoring the feelings that hadn’t been dealt with and, instead, shoved deep down into her core.
“I am sorry.” He paced slightly from the end of the couch he was sitting on to the window. For a few seconds, he stared outside. And then he noticed she hadn’t even blinked. “I am.”
A long sigh escaped Carolina’s puffy lips. She wondered if he was trying to make her believe his words or if he was trying to realize if he meant them. “So you’ve said.”
“I mean it.” Jungkook sat back down on the couch. He stared intensely deep into her eyes, trying to reach the warmth of her soul, sincerity pouring through his, while she gazed at him back, void of emotion. “I really do.”
“Can’t exactly say your word means much.” She reclined back into the armchair. While Jungkook was sitting on her couch, she had decided to take aid in the singleness of her armchair, far enough that he couldn’t reach her. “You say a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t seem to have much meaning.”
Carolina knew that her harsh words and unfiltered sincerity were one of the things that bothered Jungkook. It was probably one of the things that always made him feel like he was walking on eggshells around her. He was the complete opposite. Politically correct, even. His expressions could fail him—although rarely—but he would always say the nice thing, or not say anything at all. Carolina would be truthful if regarding something she was passionate about, even if it meant saying something the other person wouldn’t enjoy.
“I know what I did to you—the way I acted,” Jungkook stopped mid-sentence, almost as if trying to collect his words, afraid that if he said the wrong thing, Carolina would throw him out of the window. She had already pictured that scenario only minutes after he had entered her apartment. “it was wrong, and you deserved better.”
“And yet…” She gesticulates with her hands, emphasizing their position. “here we are.”
He just wasn’t saying the right thing. And if Carolina could be honest, she wasn’t sure there was a right thing to say. Maybe there was nothing that he could say to make up for the heartache she felt. For the humiliation. And seeing him hide his face between his hands as his head hung heavy between his legs, just made her want him gone. And almost as if reading her mind, Jungkook asked “What do you want me to say? I am really really sorry and I haven’t stopped thinking about it and you ever since.”
And that last sentence was like a punch to the gut. “Ya’ know what? I forgive you!” Almost as if Carolina had been suddenly hit with a wave of good spirits, she gets up from her armchair, her tone chipper. “You are forgiven for being an absolute asshole and a liar. I am completely over the fact that you betrayed my confidence.” Her hands fell to her hips and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed. “So, please, leave. We don’t have anything else to discuss.”
Grabbing him by the arm, Carolina almost hauls Jungkook from his seat. “Wait,” his manifests are in vain though, because only when he enforces his stance she stops. “I think I loved you,” Jungkook’s eyes are glued to the floor. “and that freaked me out.”
“Oh, give me a fucking break.” Arms in the air, Carolina turns to face her wall. She takes a deep breath. “You loved me so you played me and then never spoke to me again. Can’t imagine what kind of father you’d be!”
He ignores her comeback, “I wanted to be with you every second of my day. I wanted to stay until late in the cloud room with you just noticing how the colors made you look more and more beautiful. You were messing with my mind and I was allowing myself to fall for you, even though it wasn’t appropriate.”
Carolina’s hand doesn’t move from the front door’s handle and she has to strain the laugh that threatens to leave her lips. Jungkook’s stance is incredulous as he doesn’t dare to look her in the eye as he professes what seems to be his undying love for the girl.
“You’re different and you’re weird and you have a funky taste and it scares the living shit out of me. You made me feel. When you smiled at me. When you trusted me with assignments…” Completely ignoring the girl’s wishes for his departure, Jungkook sits back on the couch again, this time on the armrest, his body facing her. “And then I get to the office, late as fuck, already freaking out, and see that scene. I was shocked. And when I finally came to my senses, I felt too embarrassed to reach out to you.” He speaks fast and his lisp is noticeable. Carolina sees how truthful his words are, his tongue poking the inside of his mouth as he faces the empty wall. “I was ashamed that I let you go like that, let you go through that situation with everyone looking at you and I didn’t stand my ground immediately like I should have.”
Jungkook stands up and Carolina’s grip on the handle falls. “So, you have every right to hate me. You can even punch me if you’d like if that would make you less hurt…” he walks closer to her, stopping only a couple of inches away, somewhat afraid that she would take on the offer. He gives her a small smile. “although I would prefer you wouldn’t. You look like you have a mean hook.”
She finally lets out a dry laugh, focusing everywhere but on the man in front of her. She’s trying to remain defensive, fighting the urge from her body to give in to his speech, to believe that he’s saying the truth, that maybe—maybe—this time, things can take a different turn. “So… past tense, huh?”
He ignores her sarcasm completely, as if switching roles and him being the serious one. Jungkook wants to take her hand that hangs mindlessly in the air but restrains himself from doing so. He fights the urge to run his hands through her fluffy hair like he had done so the previous night in his car. His brain can still recall how soft it felt on his fingers and how it smelled of lavender. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I know it’s my fault and I just want you to know that I feel like garbage for hurting someone who meant—means—so much to me.”
Carolina purses her lips together, focusing on the dirt that stained the white of his Converse.
“Can we start over? Friends?” Her eyes land on his extended hand and travel all the way up to his face. He’s hopeful and she can’t wait to touch his skin again, so she shakes it. He smiles radiantly as if a little kid who just won the biggest fluffiest teddy bear at a fair. “I’ll text you tomorrow.” Jungkook wants to sound certain but Carolina senses the shakiness in his voice.
“Just don’t spam me.” Carolina rolls her eyes while they finally let go of each other’s hands. Jungkook gives her one last look, providing her with a silent chance to change her mind and as she doesn’t, he nods, pleased, before leaving.
Carolina’s hands fly to her head, fingers massaging her temples as she is dazed by the event she has just lived. She closes her door, back hitting it for support and her focus relies on outside her window, how the sun had already set and the night had taken over instead, the sky painted dark navy blue while some stars shone in the distance.
There’s a knock on her door and she rushes back to open it, reason completely out of her mind, “Jun—” She stops mid-word. “Jae! I was not expecting you.”
“In my defense, I did text you. Not my fault you don’t look at the thing.” As he makes his way inside, chuckling, he gives her a small peck on the cheek. “Brought food.”
“Great!” Before closing the door, Carolina glanced at the empty corridor, trying to shake the weird feeling that left her stomach turning. It doesn’t go away, not even after she ate the ramen Jae brought. And so she takes this sudden unwell state to send him off. The drawers inside her mind were all messy; she had some organizing to do.
[ chapter 5 ]
☁ want to be tagged in the next part? comment below or send me an ask!
#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jungkook aesthetic#jungkook imagine#intern jungkook#non idol au#slice of life au#bluenpjm#bluenpjm.docx#cloud9agency
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thinking about sploon scugs again (and testing some new brushes. pen brushes for sketching go brrrrr)
#rain world#rain world downpour#splatoon#sploon scugs#doodles#rw artificer#marie splatoon#cw injury#i. suppose? bandages go brr#rain world gijinka#idk if i wanna actually make the idols iterators or not so for now the actual. marie splatoon stand in.#funny either way to have an older single parent be recruited#welcome to the agent 4 squad (she is hoping she gets paid for it)#meanwhile poor spears is internally screaming in octo expansion lmao#artificer grizzco employee to x rank blaster main pipeline real#(she has two kids to pay for. and also a giant inktoling pitching in too)
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if I disappear for 2 days pls know it is for crying over yaoi polycule purposes and nothing has happened to me <3 (I am also. so cold it's my first winter experiencing negatives 💔 pray for me please)
#im just yearnign for what coukdve been in this historical cdrama#need u all to understand that underneath everything i am a huge nerd#sitting in my bed crying over kpop idols and arcane and alien stage like the brainrot is genuinely overwhelming in this space i fear#lal babbles#also my life is v hectic as an international uni student 😭😭 so please be patient with me#im living life all on my own for the first time ever its very scary 😓😓
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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"Offering Kumkma Water"
Rituals are at the centre of everything we do, this is the way we all have lived and it will continue for generations to come. It is our responsibility to pass on our culture and all the rituals to the next generation so that it can live for many more years to come. This was shot in a small town of Karnataka, Shravanabelagola, where thousands of devotees especially from Jain religion come every month to offer their prayers to Lord Bahubhali. The priest was offering kumkma water (red) right onto the idol's feet, a memorable moment.
Photographer: Vinod Kulkarni
Budapest International Photo Awards 2022
#vinod kulkarni#photographer#budapest international photo awards#culture#kumkma water#ritual#karnataka#shravanebelagola#jain region#lord bahubhali#idol
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wait tho…. the public needs to know how jay feels abt maelstrom’s murder(s?)…..
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#it’s me I’m the public AND I’M SORRY BUT I’M SO CURIOUS…..#bc river is a remorse murderstep right ?? did we imagine that ??#so if the blood on his hands is public knowledge. we are just v curious abt jay’s stance towards it bc that’s easily smth V divisive#do you accept that your hero has killed before and could again? do you trust they had a good reason? do you excuse it even if not?#does the outcome outweigh the cost? how do you decide if the price is too much for you? how will you know what’s too high for them?#is it a reminder that even your idols are still human? is it a reminder that maybe they’re a little more? a little less?#and other such questions etc etc SORRY IDLE u can disregard this we are just . Thinking Thoughts. being Curious#also like…… I assume that u can’t really outright KNOW that repentant steps Are feeling guilty bc I doubt they’re saying it in interviews#…. tho actually I take that back bc some of them might BUT OVERALL that’s a very internalized thing that others don’t have access to
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