#THATS WHAT SHE LITERALLY WAS THERE FOR SHE HAD ALL MEDICAL RIGHTS BY ME AND SHE DIDN'T DO IT

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[xviruserrorx]

I really hate having to depend on people to get very very important things done

[infictionalwonderland]

PERIODS — harry lewis

pairing: harry lewis x fem!reader

warnings: periods… NOT REALLY A WARNING BUT YKKK, swearing, suggestive-ness, medication

Whoever said people your age couldn’t have sleepovers, could go and do one—because you absolutely fucking could, you and Talia proving said notion right now; your boys were off again, somewhere abroad for a sidemen shoot and leaving you and your best friend alone. Instead of getting all weepy and mopey (over a boy, never you) you and her decided to make the most out of the lack of testosterone—after you’d dropped your boyfriend off at the airport, all innocent smiles and pretty fluttering lashes, you’d zoomed off (probably breaking several speed limits) to get to your best friends new home.

When you got there, she’d opened the door with an excited screech despite expecting you and you returned it despite knowing she’d been the one to open the door. After of long embrace where she didn’t wanna let you go, you finally convinced her with the promised of pizza and brownies. Hauling your overnight bag in, you’d began your girly night—music booming, comfy clothes on, gossip upon gossip and so many laughs your whole body was in tatters as you made pizzas and brownies (admittedly, hers were better but she was literally Mario’s second cousin, it’s to be expected)

Food in hands and smiles never leaving your faces, you’d taken off into a race into a race for the living room (you won, obviously) and began your evening of movie watching—from 10 things i hate about you to It, then legally blonde and Tangled, and many more, . . .you had quite the night. However both of your highlights was when you discovered you both started your cycles on that particular day—before your boyfriends had left and around basically the same times: it had you both in tear inducing laughter for two minutes. You’d ended up taking a Polaroid of you both grinning while holding up Flow (the period tracker app) and showing you both having the exact same cycles.

Twins.

That was yesterday—now you were both lying in a miserable heap of pain and exhaustion in Talia’s king size bed, hot water bottles on your abdomens and remaining snacks being shovelled into your mouths as you both snuggled and occupied yourselves on your phones.

You smiled slightly when your boyfriends name popped up over TikTok but grimaced afterwards as your stomach turned horribly.

harry🤍

gd mornin xx yu okay luv ?

me

you’re actually illiterate

harry🤍

and you can’t punctuate, we all have are own flaws. anyway i hope ur good, we’re landing at 3, want me to pick u up anything?

You grinned wider, deciding to piss about.

me

yeah actually can you get me some jumbo tampons!! thank youuu x

harry🤍

what. they do JUMBO? i mean thats, at least their being inclusive. good on em 👍 wait bloody hell love, you’re on again already? swear i don’t know how you still have blood in ya

me

yeah it happens to be a monthly thing, harry. 😄😄😄😄😄 also im with my gf so you might have to whisk me away before me elope xxxxx

harry🤍

she’d get you a shitty ring anyway i’ll get in simons lift home then and you can drop us off. … i love you, gotta go, see you soon gorgeous

me

love you too smelly 😜

You looked over at Talia at, miraculously, the same time she looked up at you and when she wordlessly showed you her phone, showcasing messages of her asking Simon for XXL pads, you gasped laughingly and showed her your messages to Harry. She made a shocked face before meeting your eye and you both burst out laughing, only to groan as you ached all fucking over.

“I hate being a women.”

It was now half two and while Talia was effectively making your day better—you both were still in immense pain. You’d migrated to every living room (you loved it so much, you could cry) and both had a sofa to yourself, Mushu (their adorable dog) was nipping at some toy from where he was sat by the telly. You both were on your phones for the most part, last nights episode of Love Island that you’d absently recorded now playing on the TV as you both munched away on the breakfast Talia got delivered—McDonald’s breakfast for you and she had a spiced cheesy omelette from this little breakfast place.

“When do you think Harrys gonna ask. .?” Talia looked at you from her place on the sofa, wiggling her ringed finger mischievously with a glittering smile, one hand still firmly against her stomach.

“Probably never.”

“Bullshit!” She shot back instantly, sitting up and pointing firmly in your direction as she ignored the pain she was in in favour of reassuring you. “Babe, you have not seen the way that man looks at you when he thinks no one is looking. Like, seriously, he has literal heart eyes for you and don’t even get me started on how he speaks about you. It’s like your the best thing in this entire world to him, really. Like you’re some kinda goddess or somethin’ he always looks so awestruck by you.”

“. .probably cause I cook him dinner.” You offered with a shrug, smiling lopsidedly, and Talia snorted with a head shake.

“Or you are his dinner.”

“I mean, he does—“

“Ah! WAIT, NO. Stop, no more, please.”

You grinned at her, sparing a wink before cooing at Mushu happily and urging him to jump up on you, which he did. Your entire demeanour seemed to soften as you wrapped your arms around the large grey ball of fluff.

“He’ll probably ask you soon.”

“Natalia.” You threw her a mock serious look and she put her hands up in a surrender motion, finding herself all too funny.

“What—have you seen you?” Talia retorted, faking a dreamy sigh as she readjusted herself on the plush material of her sofa. “I’d kiss you, marry you and fuck you. Repeatedly.”

“Miss Mar. . .” You jokingly trailed off.

“Have my babies?”

“I thought you’d never ask!”

“We should really do this more often.” Talia pouted at you, friendly love bright in her irises as she pulled her blanket more around her body. “I miss hanging with you, sexy bum.”

“Miss you more, baby cakes.” You winked at her dramatically, mouth falling open just like Fred Weasley and she giggled back at you, snapping a candid photo.

“Speaking of babies—“

“NATALIA HADDOCK.”

Approaching four o’clock was when your boyfriends finally rolled up—you and Talia didn’t actually notice at first, you were both laying down on the living room floor with Mushu next to you and a mediation video on the large screen, giggles slipping past your lips even as you attempted to be quiet. You would’ve sat up but considering your cramps. . .‘twas a no go.

“Keep your fake lips shut, Cruella.”

Talia squawked in offence at your comment but kept her eyes shut for the purpose of mediation, blindly lifting a manicured hand to swat at you.

In that moment, your boyfriends both walked through the door, trading odd looks at the silence in the home (if there was anything you and Talia were together, it was not silent). Simon lead Harry through the house, more confused than anything to where his fiancé was but when they heard whooshing sounds from the living room, they both stopped uncertainly.

Harry quickly picked up a random umbrella from where they were sat, just in case.

However, when you hesitantly stalked into the living room they didn’t expect to see both of their girlfriends laying sprawled across the floor in starfish position with a mediation video playing on the large TV. They both paused, trying to repress their amusement and Harry instantly got out his phone—zooming into you to take some photos.

“Feeling zen, yet?” Simon inquired.

“So zen.” You both confirmed, simultaneously.

There was silence for no more than a second before you and Talia both let out startled exclamations and sat up straight—immediately groaning out in pain after as your stomach cramped and ached (day 2 was your personal worst day for pain/cramps).

“Woah. Woah, woah.” Simon paused at the in sync groans of pain, “listen. . .I know you both have like, interlinked emotions but please don’t tell me you can feel what the other feels?!”

“Boy.” Talia gave him a deadpan stare.

“Help.” You urged your boyfriend, reaching out your hands expectantly and he rolled his eyes fondly as he walked over to you, large hands taking your smaller ones in his own and he tugged you up from the ground, one of his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into him. “Hey stranger.”

“Hey.” Harry mumbled back, grinning widely as he pulled you flush against him, digging his head endearingly into the crook of your neck and leaving two swift kisses, your sweet aroma surrounding him and clouding his thoughts as you hummed, running your fingers through his short hair.

“No PDA in my house!” Simon exclaimed.

“Shush,” Talia tutted—unimpressed with her fiancé, “don’t listen to him. Harry, kiss my girl all you want just. . nothing more, preferably.”

“She’s not your girl.”

“Am I not?” You played clueless, faking a confused look at him before going to step over to your best friend, only for him to tug you back against him, large, muscled arms wrapping around your front to hold you back.

“Disgusting.” Simon blanched. “Do that in your own home, please.”

You and Talia both rolled your eyes in sync: you turned your head to smile up at your boyfriend, pressing a loving peck to his soft lips and then his bicep before gently tugging his arms off you, getting ready to say bye to your friends.

“Bye beautiful.” Talia grinned, her arms coming to wrap around you with a careful tightness. “I love you, let me know if you need anything—also, we should really really do this again soon. I love spending time with you.”

Feeling your heart warm, you smiled back at her genuinely. “I love spending time with you too, Lia. Next time we can make lasagna and cupcakes. . .the Tom and Jerry ones.”

Talia squealed slightly, pulling away from your hug to press kisses to both your cheeks and then your forehead.

“You’re the best. Miss ya’ already.”

“Missing you more.”

A few minutes later, you and Harry were finally out of the mini-mar household. Your boyfriend had finally resigned to carrying you when you had fully stopped walking and hunched over slightly in pain from your cramps—he’d sighed, like the tired boyfriend he was, then gently picked you up bridal style and ignored Talia’s obnoxious awes and how she took several pictures.

(She totally didn’t put them on her story)

“Spoiled princess, ‘s what you are.” Harry shook his head jokingly as he carefully put you down in the passenger side of your own car that he was driving cause you were in pain.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

He grinned at you, looking up through his lashes as he did your seatbelt for you, one of his large arms caging you in and the the other free arm reaching over your lower half to tug the seatbelt tighter. He looked similar to an angel in that moment—sun illuminating his features, those fucking blue eyes you were a sucker for and you felt a trail of sparks on the skin his hand purposefully brushed over.

“That tight enough?” Harry inquired, cheekily.

“So tight.” You responded with a snicker of your own and he rolled his eyes at you, tugging a strand of your hair briefly and you feigned a dramatic wince as he left you, shutting the door to your side and climbing in the drivers side.

You looked over, rolling down your window readily as you knew what was coming—when your car started to take off, Talia opened up the window closest to the driveway, popping out her head with a gorgeous gleaming smile.

“BYE BYE BEAUTIFUL, I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!”

“BYE GORGEOUS—SAME GOES FOR YOU, CALL ME!”

As you did the ‘call me’ symbol with your hand and gave her a dramatic wink, she giggled before ducking her head back indoors.

“Might as well date her.”

“Might just, y’know.” You smiled at him sweetly, turning on the radio for background noise like you always did, “Smells a lot than my current partner anyway?”

“He can’t be that bad!”

“No, really, he stinks of piss.”

“I beg you fu—“

He cut himself off, grin faltering as he heard you wince in pain, frowning softly as he looked over at you.

“Hanging in there alright?”

“Mhm.” You hummed, smiling tensely.

“I got you something.” Harry mentioned, peering over at you and when he saw you looking him with that adorably confused look, he nudged his head backwards and your eyes followed—landing on the Tesco bag in the backseat.

“My jumbo tampons?” You cackled to yourself.

“No—I did look though—“ Your laughter increased in volume, ignoring the aching pain overcoming you as best you could, “Oh—Oh. I see now, they aren’t a thing. You played me.”

“What? No, never.”

“I smell deceit.”

“I smell piss. Oh, wait, it’s just you.”

You giggled at yourself and while he tried to playfully glare at you, he couldn’t quite keep his smile at bay as he stared at you.

Curiously, you reach behind you and tug the Tesco bag from its space in the back, lugging it into your lap and opening it up—your mouth immediately pops open in an awww when you take in the two sets of cupcakes, your favourite chocolate bars, the sanitary products and some pain medication.

“Harry. .”

“Don’t mention it, I beg.” A sheepish crimson blush coats his pale cheeks at your tone and your evident heart eyes. Jesus Christ, were you pretty. He was so lucky to be able to call you his, that much he knew for sure.

“Thanks, handsome.”

“Yeah, yeah anytime man.”

You arch a brow.

“Anytime, love.” Harry corrects, flashing you an equal parts amused and sarcastic smile as you nod your approval to the changing pet name.

When you finally arrive back at your apartment complex—Harry’s already out of his side of the car as soon as it stops, and then he goes over to you, opening your door and looking down at you. He lets at a dramatic heaving sigh at your doe eyed look, scolding his skin for flushing and heart for picking up.

Effortlessly, he takes the bag off your hands with one hand and pulls you from the car with the other, once you’re out the car he lifts you up easily with one arm and you wrap your legs around his hips, arms around his neck.

“Hi.” You mumble, grinning mischievously as your acrylics scratch at his beard.

“My pretty troublemaker.” Harry huffs affectionately, squinting down at your bright smile fuelled by mischief. “Don’t you dare bring attention to us, this is embarrassing enough.” He nearly whines.

You merely smile, a kiss to his cheek to tide over his anxieties.

The walk was going pretty smoothly, but as soon as Harry stepped foot into the elevator, another set of footsteps followed and his eyes shut miserably, leaning down and sighing into your neck hopelessly.

“Hi Effie!” You immediately perk up at the sight of the older woman—Effie was this sweetheart fifty six year old who lived on the floor below you and Harry, a vast lover of plants and animals with a hatred for men (you loved her, Harry was scared of her).

Harry barely refrains for niping at the soft skin of your neck in reprimand. Of bloody course.

“Hello dearie.” The older woman, hair a dyed purple shade and silver septum hanging from her button nose, greets you with a calm smile. Effie was evidently unfazed by the scene in front of her—if anything, she was proud that you were putting your man to work. “How are you today?”

“Oh I’m grand, Ef.” You smiled so charmingly that as Harry stared down at you, he almost forgot he was even supposed to be annoyed. “How are you? How’s Tia, I miss her!”

“I’m well, thank you, dearie. Tia misses you too, I assure you. Perhaps you come down tonight, I can bake us some cookies just how you like them.”

Harry paused, bewildered. Did his girlfriend just get hit on by a grandma?!

“I—“

Before you could even get a word out, the elevator dinged open to your floor and Harry wasted now time practically sprinting out with his arms possessively entangled around your frame; you quickly exclaimed a startled ‘bye Effie’ over your boyfriends shoulder before the elevator doors shut.

You quickly distracted yourself with how you could feel your boyfriends muscular biceps as he held you up, your acrylics took to touching and tracing them as he bounced you up further on his hip. You closed your eyes, leaning further into him and humming at the delightful scent of his cologne, the soothing vibrations of his body as he quietly chatted away helping to dull the aches in your own body.

“You alright there, y/n?”

“Never been better.” You smiled up at him and he gives you an amused one back, kissing your forehead softly as he finally opens the door to your shared apartment—once inside, he readily manoeuvres the both of you to the sofa where he carefully places you down, handing you the bag of food and your favourite blanket he spots on the lone armchair. “Thank youuu.”

“Spoiled princess.” He names again, but the smile on his face is enough to melt you despite his words.

Harry then goes into the kitchen as you try and adjust on the sofa more comfortably, face screwing up as a particularly harsh pain washes through you—your abdomen clenching. To distract yourself, you search through the Tesco bag and smile to yourself as you take out the first batch of muffins.

You mindlessly click onto WhatsApp, taking a photo of the bag of goodies and sending it to the girls groupchat with a little ‘make your men do this for you, pretty ladies’ and instantly being met with gushing from them all.

“Showing off my expert shopping skills?”

You startle—gaze flickering to your boyfriend who smiles at you, that smile he saves just for you and it makes you feel so special and warm every time. Your eyes dart over him, noticing the hot water bottle he now clutches (you love that hot water bottle—it’s got this absolutely adorable cover of a lama).

Fucking hormones, you think, as you feel a wave of emotion hit you at how much he’s done for you.

“Hey,” Harry noticed the quivering frown you now adopted and internally panicked, did I do something? Hot water bottle in hand, he hurried towards you, kneeling down on the floor beside where you were laying and twirling a pierce of your hair around his finger. “Hey. What’s wrong, love, hm? You in pain?”

“Yeah.” You answer him shakily, that’s not why your suddenly upset. “I love you.”

If he’s confused—he doesn’t show it, he merely smiles at you comfortingly, leaning in to gently press a kiss to your lips.

“I love you more.”

You smile up at him and his face softens completely at you—he’s so fucking in love. And yes, these thoughts of his are incredibly soppy, but, he couldn’t help it. The girl of his dreams, the love of his life, the prettiest person in the world, was currently staring at him like he hung the moon and the stars. . . he’d never tire of your beautiful face, your radiant smile that flustered him every damn time.

When you move so he can slide in behind you, he eagerly takes the invitation. He slots in behind you on the sofa, pulling you atop him with your back against his chest; he takes the hot water bottle, your favourite one, and carefully moves up your shirt before pressing it against your lower stomach and keeping his hands there to hold it in place, pressing a thoughtless yet meaningful kiss to the side of your head and you snuggle back into him.

“Oi, give me a bite.”

“Fuck off, it’s my scran.”

“Yeah—and who’s card did it make a dent in?”

“Our card, handsome.”

“. . . Spoiled princess.”

And that’s how you spend most of the rest of your day—intertwined limbs, goofy grins, soft kisses and joking insults.

(He’s never been more in love)

[psiionic]

i have been non stop thinking about schizophrenic latula again. of course i could always repeat the same things i always say, latuda is a mood stablizer and it doesn't make sense that a pyrope would become anxious out of nowhere because their family line never implies that pyropes ever have a "shy" phase and are entirely more likely to fall down the line of obsession and depression and spiralling over minor things. but i was talking to my friend about the alternian economic system and we came to the realization that alternia is likely a much more scripted planet than we initially assumed, since it's essentially a planet that focuses on pumping out child soldiers i believe that their economic system is almost completely falsified by the HIC and higher powers, each caste is set up with a projected job, a certain amount of money, a specific living situation and lusus to groom them into the perfect position they'll take as an adult once exiled from the planet and gaining their title. ive already spoken about how i believe that the beforan trolls are all essentially encouraged to pick a persona to "brand" themselves as in a show of personal expression that is expected of them by the government, but it got me thinking about how these two things interact with eachother. flarping is such a popular game on alternia specifically because all the kids are, essentially, larping as their projected adult counterparts until they leave planet. thats why there doesn't seem to be any ACTUAL job structure, the janitors are all kids pretending to be janitors until they leave planet, and highbloods commission people with their government allotted money, which funds the economy as well. there are mentions that if you don't "play your role right" you'll be culled and its because they figured out a system to learn who is willing to play the right role and who isnt BEFORE they have the power to actually harm the empire, which is NOT ON THE PLANET. drones kill anyone who steps out of line and its called culling because theyre still little kids. its like taking out the "bad actors" in a play, they arent needed, itll stall the progress of the machine. all of the characters essentially have a pre-determined role and persona they can fall into, and if they refuse to play along or start to look at the fact that theyre in a roleplaying game for too long they'll be culled.

anyways. this leads me to believe that because beforus is a planet without the exiling system, that means it's likely a system where no one ever stops playing "pretend." due to there being no expansion, the only thing that matters is appearance. It doesn't exactly matter how good you are at something, culling doesn't need to mean killing, it just means you lose your right on how to present yourself. You were clearly unable to play your part because you were too dumb or too pitiable and need someone else to ensure youre able to be presentable as the persona they choose for you.

this leads me back to latula. i believe that as a knight of mind, latula likely was able to see right through the pretend games that they were all playing extremely fast, but due to a knights innate questioning of themselves and their own thoughts, she was likely easily convinced that the problem was not the system but HER actually, for scrutinizing the system. calling people fake or invalid or implying they aren't what they actually are i'd imagine is a very strong offense in a society exclusively centered around always wearing masks. i also feel like this is exactly why all of the dancestors show that they are deeply disconnected from who they truly are, with mituna being the only one who couldn't keep up appearance and therefor had to have his autonomy stripped not just by beforus but by the narrative itself, disconnecting him from who he used to be by force. latula likely takes medication not for social anxiety but because she quite literally ruminates too much, i can see her being anxious in a paranoid and pointed way specifically at forces that be, especially considering how mind players act, but i cannot for the life of me ever see latula being the shy socially anxious fluttershy type i constantly see (or at least SAW) her be portrayed as. while this doesn't specifically point to schizophrenia, due to what latuda actually treats, it's my favorite headcanon to apply to her.

[cowplant-pizza]

meet: benjamin 🧡🐱

ben is the reason i have been semi active the past few weeks. he’s the latest addition to my family, and although i technically adopted him, i feel like this situation was really more of a rescue…

i want to preface this whole situation by saying 3 things though

- ben was adopted from a very ill lady

- i did not know that ben might have health issues and was actually told the opposite

- he’s booked into the vets for thursday morning

ok so bens story is a bit of a weird one. i became good friends with the lady who fostered george (my kitten) for the charity who i adopted him and nora from. she’s known that i’ve been on the lookout for another cat, and messaged me as soon as she found out about ben, previously named fluffles.

he was being rehomed for free from a lady who had become too ill to care for him and his brother. her brother adopted bens brother. however, the story didn’t *start* there. apparently back in january of this year, ben, then fluffles, and his brother plus another cat were found in bad conditions on the streets. a neighbour was feeding them and offering them a makeshift shelter in their garden, and the charity took them in as strays. the cat they were with was in such bad condition it had to be put down. when finding out ben and his brother were microchipped, they had to legally return them to the ill owner after a short stint in a foster home.

skip forward to now and the lady realised that she was being neglectful due to her illness and wanted to rehome them. upon meeting them they seemed like lovely people who really cared about the wellbeing of the cats and i hate to think otherwise, however…

the way ben acts is genuinely as if he has never felt love. he seems so grateful for the warmth and safety of our home. he didnt leave his plush bed by the radiator for almost a whole week and needed his food and water brought to him.

he is covered head to toe in scabs. and he spends a lot of time grooming and itching. luckily they flead him before he left with us but my heart breaks feeling all the scabs over his body. they are literally everywhere. we also constantly find skin and fur that he has scratched off, so he is obviously uncomfortable, itchy and probably very sore.

to me, he seems a bit skinny. he isnt eating consistently but he does eat a little bit, and he loves treats. his poops and pees seem fine so hopefully thats just him adjusting to our routine.

the most worrying part for me though is that he has lumps on his belly. we tried to leave him be for a few days before really fussing him as not to overwhelm him, but amazingly it seems like he loves belly rubs! and when he was getting lots this evening, it feels as if his nipple areas have bumps beneath them. i have my fingers crossed that its just the glands that are infected, and will be fixed with antibiotics. i am hoping and praying it isnt cancer. if it is… i dont know what i’ll do. his backside area also looks slightly swollen.

i’m mad because either the family i adopted him from knew about these bumps and didnt tell me, or they just failed to notice them altogether. apparently he visited the vets about 3 months ago. shouldnt they have been picked up on then??

i just hope this is a “simple” case of neglect, and with the right love and care and medication, benny will be okay 🧡 however any advice leading up to his vets appointment is much appreciated!!

[zeravmeta]

you know for the longest time I've been of the opinion that the rhine labs trio dynamic is a parallel to the dynamic that doctor-kaltsit-amiya have and honestly this event is giving me more to play with

because like. saria is The Boss. like she is very much The Guy that everyone in rhine labs looked up to (and even still look up to) that could handle basically anything. rhine labs was the dream that kristen and saria made together, where even as further and further conspiracy and questionable experimentation took it over, people still trusted her. and thats so reminiscent of babel, the dream that theresa and doctor shared and the eventual fate of that, with one (saria and doctor) so clearly just supporting the other (kristen and theresa) because they cared about them. Saria always had a strong moral center, but years of having to slowly look the other way and cover up more and more made her numb to that sort of thing, up until the breaking point with ifrit, which has left her with so much guilt she literally Cant do anything except atone. Much in the same way, doctor was once just a medical practitioner who had to step up and fill in the diminishing ranks up until they turned out to be very good at war, from which they sacrificed more and more of their humanity until they were a cold machine of war, with post amnesia doc living with that sword of damocles always hanging over them that they'll eventually have to answer for their past selves' sins. it's this particular wrinkle that contextualizes sarias own relationship with doctor, because she can so clearly see herself in them and yet, much in the same way she has to stop kristen, she Would step to stop doctor if they ever became the same way again.

silence and kaltsit also have an interesting parallel in this aspect, as both have a very specific strained relationship with saria/doctor due to what they caused. notably, both of them looked up to saria/doctor, but were left feeling betrayed after seeing just how much they were willing to justify for their goals. the key difference with them here is that kaltsit being an immortal left her taking action and planning for literal centuries on how to fix all these problems, whereas silence is basically on day 1 working to dismantle and reform rhine labs. they also fundamentally share the same types of feelings to saria/doctor, where that, while there isnt only loathing and resentment, a whole bunch of their interactions are indeed colored by that feeling, and that even if the other truly is working to right their wrongs, that doesnt mean that those feelings of bitterness just dissappear, and justifiably so.

ifrit and amiya may not seem like complementary characters at first but in fact I would argue that due to sharing Hypergryphs Favorite Character Archetype (the girl who will end it all) they actually overlap significantly, but they just have one key difference: ifrit didn't have to grow up quickly the same way amiya did. the point of silence and sarias intervention is that ifrit was not forced to take up the mantle the same way amiya did, and a lot of their respective dynamics hinges on how they treat ifrit/amiya: ifrit is very specifically protected by saria and silence, both of them willing to completely drop their history for her sake, while doctor and kaltsit, while protective, are also subservient to amiya. the two might be the adults in the room, but its amiyas goals that they are supporting and amiyas dream that they are fighting for. they even both have the same type of relationships with their caretakers: even though saria/doctor did wrong them, they still heavily admire and look up to them, with silence/kaltsit being someone they also deeply cherish but are more willing to push back against.

you can even extend these parallels to the idealism that both trios drew from their true leaders: kristen and theresa. in a weird way, these two characters share the trait of genuinely and unconditionally loving their "other half" (saria and doctor) but are so committed to their dreams that it inadvertently destroyed their other half. Kristen was perfectly fine committing atrocities for her dream, even if she was willing to take every detour if it meant that saria would stand alongside her again and support her, while theresa, even though she hated war, was perfectly willing to let doctor become a war machine to win more and more of their harsh battles (a trait thats also passed along to amiya).

the real difference is that kristen's dream was always for herself, while theresa's dream was for everyone else, and the fallout of that is drastically different: kristen burned her bridges for her dream, while theresa's death completely shattered hers. saria, silence, everyone in rhine was betrayed by kristen, whereas thereas death splintered the organization and left so many mourning.

they're all a sort of twist on each other in that way. saria is a doctor who never spiralled into the war machine that pre amnesia doctor was, silence is a kaltsit without the agency or control that she has, and ifrit is an amiya who never had to grow up as quickly.

what makes it so good to me too is that the rhine trio isnt a dark reflection of the rhodes trio, it's the opposite.

true reconciliation between saria and silence *is* possible, and very well the path that they're headed in. for everything that happened, they are working together and slowly rebuilding that trust because they've already had their reckoning. with doctor and kaltsit, there's simply too much history and (justified) loathing on kaltsits part for their past relationship to ever be truly salvaged, even moreso because both of them are willing to follow amiya to the depths of hell for her dream, while saria and silence would die if it meant that ifrit would never have to pick up a weapon again.

maybe one day, if doctor does get their memories back, and true closure can be achieved in that shared history, they might be able to salvage their relationship, but as it stands theres still too much to answer for.

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.

[haolovre]

secrets hidden in you

“they all say that park seonghwa, the most popular and dangerous person in the school doesnt have a heart, does he?”

student! ateez

this series can contain:bullying, beating up, blood, fluff, drugs, smoking, swearing

this is all fiction! nothing is real!!

masterlist of this serie

second day

U get woken up by ur alarm, as u growl u got up and went to the bathroom room. u check the clock 7:30 AM. Well u have enough time. U brush ur teeth and shower. then u check the clock 8:00 AM u put your clothes on and went down to eat breakfast. “Honey i made pancakes! U should go at 8:30 so hurry abit before u miss the bus” “mhm alright mom thanks!”

u ate ur breakfast and went to the bus stop. as u were right on time the schoolbus was there. u went to the school bus to see ateez only in the bus. u went to sit in the front as ateez was sitting in the back. “Hey new girl, wanna sit with us” a male voice said. thank goodness u had ur headphones on so u could pretend u couldnt hear them. U heard footsteps coming at u, then ur headphones were taking of “hey! what the fuck was that for” “oh~ so u were listening to music, thats why u didnt answer my question” u looked up who u were talking to.

choi jungho-

“oh im sorry, but my music is pretty loud so i didnt hear u” “ohh~” he smirked “excuses , excuses, excuses. dont have to lie to me” he put your headphones on. He was quite shocked at the music u checked ur phone. now playing: guerilla - halateez. Know u get why he was shocked. He drew the headphones on ur lap and went back to the group. As u were finally at school (well not finally but yk) u thanked the driver and went to the gates to be greeted by sooha. “Heyy girly well haeyoung is sick sadly. People saw newjeans put something in her waterbottle” “naur way poor her hopefully she gets better” u signed “well u still have me! And great news the cheer club had accepted u!!” “oh my days ur kidding” “im not~ well we both have the same classes but the training is today at 5:00 pm u’ll get ur uniform there so dont worry! And the coach is amazing so no stress” mhm alright u said to urself “well maybe lets get going will be late if we keep standing here.” “Alright lets get going. Literature it is” sooha said sadly. U two went to literature, yeahyeah boring stuff we’ll skip that part. “Well we have self study now so lets-“ sooha got interrupted by something.. well poor u got ice bucketed by newjeans and ateez. u heard them laughing “oh my days lets go to the medic before u catch a cold” sooha took ur arm and ran to the medic but got stopped by a male figure. “Well i can bring her” he smiled as u looked up who it was.

kang yeosang.

“No. U did this to her-“ as yeosang picked u up and threw soohas arm off urs. as he walked to the clinic. “Yeosang u better not do anything to her” sooha screamed to him “yeahyeah ill take care of her dont worry” he responded looking at u with a caring smile. As the school doctor looked at u and gave u a new uniform so u’ll not catch a cold. “Thank u yeosang for bringing her. I was scared for her that she’ll actually catch a cold” he softly laughed “mhm its oke ms hwang” u came out thanked the doctor and went out. “Wait ur not going to thank me i literally brought u here” u stared at him “u did it for ur reputation.” As u walked off u see the ateez and newjeans looking at u and yeosang. U went to the library to see sooha by herself doing the biology assignment. “ oh there u are! I was worried . did yeosang do anything to you?” She sounded a worried mother “no no he did nothing, just brought me so his reputation is high” “ew that player, well im working on my assignment so maybe do urs too” “mhm alright, weres beomgyu?” “Oh he has a other lesson then us.” Great ur only partner is park seonghwa “oh well im not doing it with seonghwa” “did u call my name?”

u looked to see seonghwa and yeosang at the entrance of the library. “Thank god i could get out of that group, minji keeps clinging on me like a fly” seonghwa said now walking to u “well we should work on the project, no?” “Yeah alright move a chair here so u can sit” as seonghwa went to get a chair, yeosang came up too u “ heard u were the new cheerleader well be cheering for me and seonghwa yeah?” u looked at him as u wanted him dead “gosh im joking comeon” as seonghwa came back with two chairs so yeosang could sit too. U and seonghwa were doing pretty well on the poster. As u never thought that seonghwa could be helpful. But then the bell went. “Oh well its best me and yeo get going see u around y/n” as both male figures waved goodbye and left. “Well~ how did it went” sooha asked “went better then i expected def”

time skip to the end of the last class

“YN LETS GO WE NEED TO GO TO PRACTICE”this girl has energy for days😞 “alright alright! im coming” u went to the coart were the cheer coach was. “Ohh u must be the new cheer member! yn right?” u nodded” well welcome to wave cheer club! here are the uniform” it was a blue cheer uniform and the pompoms were blue with gold “ well practice start in 10 minutes!!” u look over the bleachers to see someone staring at u, but u couldn’t recognize the face as it turned away quickly.

After practice u go to ur locker seeing alot of love notes in it. U were kinda surprised seeing the fall down. U didnt want to make a mess so u quickly put them all in ur bag. Ur surprised that it all fitted in

. U go home by bus and opened every love letter. All of these letters had something common. There signed with 0304. U looking confused but said to urself u’ll read them tomorrow.

—next—

[baileythebean]

Vent below the cut so HUUUUGE trigger warning.

So usually I vent in my dad’s (Anomaly’s) DMs because he’s great at comforting me, but Im too pissed for this right now and I dont want to bother him. I swear I am so fucking close to actually killing myself, it’s scary.

My mom has an aversion to me ever binding. I am transmasc (FtM), and I am out to my parents. My mom claims to be a “good”, “supportive” mom, and I do occasionally have moments where I’m like “oh yeah, she’s making progress, she’s learning! :)” and then it’s always fucking ruined by saying things like “well Bailey is your nickname, your name is [deadname].” - “well you’re still biologically female.” - lots of bullshit little jabs at me whenever I ACTUALLY get brave enough to talk about my identity, which is rarely. Unfortunately, any chances of me getting a binder were ruined when I just asked her flat-out. I said it was for cosplay, just to play it safe, and it was still a hard no because “It destroys your body!” - “You wont develop properly!” - “You’ll regret it!” Along with several long rants about ALL the research she’s done, (probably barely any, and it was most likely on social media) and all the stories she’s heard about people who regretted surgery or just transitioning in general and had lawsuits for them, which is like, very low. The regret rate for transitioning is in the DECIMALS and yet she refuses to acknowledge that. We also have a history with suicide, as that’s how my dad left us, and yet she either hasn’t seen or doesnt care about trans suicide rates BECAUSE of being denied affirming care or harassment?? Anyways, here’s where my shit show of a story starts. I managed to get by fine with layering sports bras for a while and just not wearing anything tight-fitting. I figured she’d warm up to it eventually. But recently, I got a new cosplay (Venti from Genshin Impact) which involves a corset, and even if I layer or adjust the shirt, makes my chest look very weird if I dont bind. I started feeling more dysphoria than ever in my life and made a plan to get a binder before my first time wearing the costume. Said plan succeeded, and I had my friend get me the right sized binder at a birthday party one day through a queer kids program that offered them for free. I was so happy and started wearing it to get used to it and break it in since that day. Unfortunately, today I made the mistake of leaving it on my bed visibly.

My mom also has a terrible habit of going into my room and my spaces to clean, even though I usually do it myself anyway, and I LITERALLY FUCKING TELL HER NOT TO EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I dont want her touching my stuff EVER, not just when I’m trying to keep something from her. I told her to stop and she kept picking up trash, and she spotted it. She questioned me about it, and I caved, telling her what it is, how its been considered medically safe, and reciting like, ALL the safety instructions from the top of my head, hoping it would give me a chance at keeping it. I failed. I got yelled at for destroying my body, ETC ETC. finally, she says that she needs to keep my binder in her room so she can make sure I ONLY use it for cosplay and I’m pretty sure she’ll check if I’m wearing it every day.

Then this bitch PUTS MY BINDER ON and tells me it’s too tight. First, it’s supposed to be. Second, THATS NOT YOUR SIZE. I’m sobbing my eyes out right now, and the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend, and a literal fictional character. I want to tear my flesh from my bones when she tells me that puberty sucks for everyone, and she doesnt get the fact that it’s a million times worse for me because I’M A BOY. I’ll be lucky if I make it to the end of the year. I’m just done. I want it to be over. Someone come and end it for me, please. I cant take any more.

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…

[chronicpain-itsastruggle]

Third surgery of the year went rocky yesterday. I have cried a lot in the last 48 hours. My mom and husband came with me and my mom was able to stay with all the way up to laying down for surgery bc babe had a therapy appointment i wanted him to go to and he agreed. My nurse was so nice and sweet but she tried and failed once to get my IV in. Then the anesthesiologist came in and was a very quiet man. And he sat and picked and prodded at my right hand for about 30 minutes. He tried twice with a lidocaine shot each time before he finally got an iv placed on the inside of my right wrist the third try, also with a lidocaine shot first. I sobbed the whole time. I barely remember walking to the surgery room and laying on the table. Then i woke up holding my moms hand so confused and then in 10/10 pain in my left arm where they took more of my arm out. I screamed and sobbed in pain. I asked Mom “where is Tyler?? Where is babe?!” I didnt even open my eyes i was crying in so much pain. My mom told me they couldnt reach him and i sobbed even harder, terrified. Tyler walked in abt 3 minutes later. His phone wasnt getting calls and he literally sped from home when he saw the voicemail notification. They held my hands as the nurses pushed a bit more pain and anxiety meds and i sobbed in pain. It took a while to get me to Tyler’s truck. I puked twice before i got home, revisiting the apple juice i had tried right after waking up and coming to. Once home i slept a lot on the couch. In and out of consciousness. Tyler stress cleaned our kitchen building our new shelf for our pantry and even selling our dog crate we’ve been needing to sell. So he was very productive awesomely while i was in and out of sleepy town.

Our dog Jupiter, his timing impeccable as always, had diarrhea and pukey all night so we were up every twoish hours having Tyler take him outside again and again. I woke up each time but had to stay on the couch. It was a very rough night.

Today has been the day after surgery and the pain has been so severe. I am staying on top of my pain meds. And thankfully i have been able to eat and drink just fine. The pain is just incredible and severe. We had to take the bandage off and clean it tonight and i sobbed thru the whole thing in agony. Tyler was so patient and gentle with me. I was so brave and its rewrapped and I’m back on the couch calming down while i write this. Im exhausted and it hurts and im so glad i gave myself a month before i go back to work because this is going to be a long recovery.

If anyone is so inclined or wants to: my cashapp and venmo is @ earnham and literally anything will help. I am having to spend so much on medical supplies and dont know when my fmla will actually go thru. Im also going to link my amazon wishlist eventually with a bunch of melanoma gear for this summer but that will be closer to my bday in June bc thats what ima be asking for this year, is help with anything on my wishlist.

This isnt the point of the post i rly just needed to vent my past 48 hours. Thanks for reading if u did.

[pumpkinsy0]

Would it be silly to ask..for neurodivergent Two-Bit headcanons? 👉👈

wym,,,,he already is,,,,

•hes literally always fidgeting w something, doesnt matter what it is, its always SOMETHING, if its in arms reach, hes usin it

•whatever u wanna hc twobit as having, i feel like his sister would also have it, or at LEAST, have symptoms of it, but it comes iff differently, ive always imagined two to be more immature than his sister when she grows up, think of her as like anais from tawog, but less uptight

•if he has sensory issues, im telling u RIGHT now, he likes soft foods over crunchier, hard ones, i can feel it

•for that reason, theres ONE food he will ALWAYS eat and thats mac and cheese, second place is like a burger or somethin

•if u think,,,,two bit WOULDNT have vocal stims,,,,ur so wrong, he totally would

•he was always kinda seen as the “weird” kid, but for the most part but he wasnt bullied for it??? at least by most greasers, he could general ‘fit in’ w them, but by soc’s he def is

•whatever he got, it will NOT b diagnosed like, any time soon, he aint got the resources to do it and even if he did, his family is more like “if theres nothing medically wrong, why go to someone over this to tell me something i already know about myself”

•id like to imagine that the curtis parents noticed two bit was different from other kids and he was literally just wandering in the streets, thats part if the reason y they took him in, they knew he could get into some trouble and b fucked over bad if he got caught up in the wrong crowd

•i dont even think two bit would rlly catch on that hes ND actually, he just goes “ive always been like that, its whatever” or somethin

•part of the reason y pony thinks its a bit odd that two bit likes school is bc two just has a generally hard time actually learning, compared to soda who doesnt rlly like school all that much bc he had a hard time learning

[vegantinatalist]

What are some poor experiences you've had getting to know men intimately? Just out of curiosity

thankfully never was raped or struck or anything but every one across the board was thoughtless in a dangerous way. medical emergency where i cant speak? they stand there blinking and confused and then leave with 0 concern, not just once but consistently no matter much i explain shit. frustrated? punch hole in the wall, trigger a panic attack in me. im crying because something shitty happened to me? "idk what to say". their friend is a raging dangerous asshole and dropping massive red flags? "oh idk hes not so bad, maybe he is but idk if its my place to say something"

if you ever try to be a real person around them they automatically get irritable. if you dont act like a happy stupid baby 24/7 they are uncomfortable. they are incapable of doing a drop of emotional labor for you and unknowingly expect you to do emotional labor for them 24/7 and will throw a tantrum if you stop. and even if you never stop they will still complain about how no one really emotionally helps them (because we cant reach into their brains and think their thoughts for them and make them emotionally regulated 24/7 with no effort on their part.) even just trying to hang and be friends is impossible because they like nitpicking literally everything and being contradictory or turning literally everything into something about them. they have 0 room for you in their heart and brain even if they really want to. they just dont understand how to think from other peoples perspectives or talk WITH people. theres videos of men admitting it took them like 10 years to realize their wife was a person with a perspective that was actually interesting and not something to just be annoyed at. highkey addictive personalities. women can be addiction prone too but my god i swear its worse with men. they have like 0 ability to resist addictions so on top of their regular personality theyre always pissy and distracted from sugar or caffiene or overeating or drinking or weed or multiple or worse shit. 0 accountability. they genuinely do not fucking think thoughts so you go through rounds of "is this guy fucking with me? is he an abuser?" and "oh wow no hes really just that stupid" on loop endlessly. you cant get them to work on issues unless you pretend its literally entirely out of their control and not their fault because thats how they perceive all their actions to be.

and this is all the least bad kind of man. going up from here you get super condescending and controlling men, delusional religion/magic believing men (who are always psychotically lusty for some reason?) and then just rage filled men who are beaters and rapists some of the worst personal experiences in getting to know men (all different men)-

-finding 4 terabytes of pregnant loli porn on their computer

-finding out they were a more hardcore nazi than any comedic depiction of one could dream of being

-realizing they just straight up left the room after watching me collapse on the floor mumble nonsense and pass out -telling me they want to rape me (i told him to think about optimus prime to calm him down and distract him deadass)

-telling me they want to threaten to eat an animal to make me fuck them (im a vegan animal rights activist) -telling me they fucked a dog before -telling me they groomed a dog to fuck them before (completely different guy from different part of the world)

-they told me my mom was faking it as she literally lay obviously dying (this is not exaggeration it was confirmed by doctors she was in fact dying) -finding out they tortured a kitten on purpose just to hurt all the girls he knew cause he just, didnt like girls (a little boy i thought was nice, no they were not abused in any way) -tried to physically stop me from getting my dog to a vet after he had an obvious neck wound because "im being dramatic" (his money was not on the line here, the neighbors were going to pay because it was their fault, he just wanted to be Right About Something)

-cheated on me ("im sorry i didnt know that counted as cheating!" not officially breaking it off with the last girl before you make moves on me? yeah thats cheating) -cheated on me with my bully and then when she called him a moron for wanting to be with me he told her im sorry (??) -told me to just gorilla glue a gaping infected wound closed Men are literally just illusions they literally dont even exist inside, just dont engage

[fallenclan]

Sorry I'm normal and perk up like a cat hearing a bird at any mention of Sunwish. (NOTE - need to think about 🧶 anon's ask some more rotate it in my head but i do concur largely and also am a little insane about it. Holding hands and skipping and singing tralala together as Sun & Scorch apologists respectively & wielder of them all)

IN FOCUS THOUGH. Ohh... I have to wonder about Sun and Morning's relationship. Sun wasn't amongst those openly mourning Morning, to my memory, but I have to think. I have to wonder. Morningbloom was strict and a good kitsitter; Sunwish was righteous and a good listener. Morningbloom was 19 moons when Sunwish was 12 moons - feasibly someone Sun would've looked up to, as an older warrior apprentice then warrior. Morningbloom was the first cat - the only cat, according to my notes - to die directly under Sunwish's paws as the clan's sole medic. (Nettlestem was found dead, I believe? Mauled on a walk.) (Though you COULD speculate she might've been found alive for drama, if you want - probably a case of Sun being in the wrong place, not having the right herbs, or just not being able to repair that kind of damage. Either way, she mourns her.) I have to wonder.

Did Sunwish aspire to be like Morningbloom, of who we saw little, but seemed a respectable warrior? Did Morningbloom appreciate Sunwish's company while she was in the medicine den with a broken spine; did she think her hard-headed righteousness was cute? Did Sunwish appreciate Morningbloom's, prickly* though she could be? For some reason Morning gives me the vibe of someone who's just nice company in general, good to sit with. Heart-rendingly, I can't help but wonder - if Morningbloom was a good kitsitter, Sunwish a good listener, did she tell her about the little cats she'd looked out for before** in those nights she was stuck on bedrest? Reminiscing, maybe laughing off some of Sunwish's dread at the prospect of having to see to some arrive safely someday as the clan's medic, smiling around some casual reassurance. Did Sunwish believe it? Did Morningbloom?

Did she still, as she laid dying under her paws?

[1/2] (- 🐈‍⬛)

THIS IS MAKING ME SO UNWELL WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WTFFFFFFFFF

just. first of all. the final painful edition fucking FLOORED me. i literally stopped and put my head in my hands physically what the FUUUUCK thats so fucked up wtf. holy shit and that just makes me wonder if Oaktuft ever knew that Scorchstar was the one that killed Sunwish. and if they would have felt guilty about it. AUGH???

Morningbloom and Sunwish. oh fuuuck they are making me feel ILL. because i can look back at my drawings fairly easily i can tell you that Sunwish was NOT one of the cats to mourn Morningbloom but i am completely disregarding this bc like. could you fucking imagine. Morningbloom spent all those moons in the medicine den healing her broken spine. they HAD to have talked a bit, maybe even been friends? a little? and yeah Morningbloom grew a little crush on her but WHAT IF. Sunwish finally let slip how much she hated being a medicine cat. and Morningbloom promised once she got better she would teach Sunwish some battle moves or hunting moves. and maybe she DID. maybe the two of them in their spare time went out on faux patrols like Sunwish was a real warrior. maybe Morningbloom was the one to cheer when Sunwish caught her first prey. do you think that Sunwish would have finally grown some hope about her situation, and dreamed that one day she might be a warrior? do you think that when Morningbloom died, her hopes did too?

another thing you're right about is Morningbloom fr has haunted the narrative SO much. arguably more than any other clan founder??? i mean. Scorchstar, Nettlestem, Oaktuft, they were all old and relatively fulfilled when they died. Wildfang didn't really have time to leave an impact on the clan. Sunwish is obviously another story but MORNINGBLOOM. even though she died on only like moon 25 you can FEEL her impact through the story. she's haunting it. imagine how Sunwish felt. even if there WAS nothing she could do, i bet thats not what she told herself. hell, I bet that's not even what Scorchstar told her. even if Morningbloom's ghost didn't really haunt her. maybe all the sleepless nights... idk. i have thoughts.

but FUCK when Sunwish died????? and Morningbloom is like. There. yknow. the physical manifestation of your failure at the one duty you were permitted to do. the only path you were allowed to follow. the death on your paws. standing right in front of you and smiling???? unreal. i bet the first words out of Morning's mouth were assurances that it wasn't Sunwish's fault, it was never Sunwish's fault.

do you think they spend their free time in Starclan practicing hunting moves?

[saytrrose]

Vent/Rant

I have no motivation to do my work and go to classes and I keep thinking about all the shit that’s happened this semester, how I lost all my friends except my roommate because one of them confessed and I didn’t like them back so they all picked sides and made me out to be a horrible person, how me and my roommate walked in on her old suitemate who had overdosed and we had to call the cops because we were quite literally staring at a dead body and we were the ones who found her, like I won’t get that image of all the details she looked like out of my head and how long she’d been there- and also my little sister now have fucking cancer LMFAO THATS GREAT yeah and I really want to be able to be a good content creator on here I know I could be better but I’ve just yet to finish the racing au sheets from like January and my art queue is LOADED. But I can’t take a break from social media because it’s the only thing that makes me happy hhh. God fuck there’s just so much I never want to do anything anymore and I wanna live, I’m not suicidal in the slightest but I feel like I’m going to go on academic probation because I’m also failing all my fucking classes and can’t manage them so I think my future is also royally fucked, I mean I could always try online college too idk but as of right now I think all my goals are ruined because I’m not academically good at all. I’ll probably end up not on top of online work or some shit too because I’m not medicated for my severe ADHD or mild autism idk I never have been either because my old psychiatrist said I didn’t need it. But I cant focus on anything at all for too long before I move on to something new or another idea I have and that applies to schoolwork ofc too. I just hhhhhhhhhggchhkkk and I love my ESA Pickles so much, I really do but I’ve lost motivation to just walk her outside so my roommate has been helping me do that a few times I really love her to death so much it’s such a basic thing but the thought of just leaving my dorm I dread idfk what I’ll do idk

[wildwinterlunas]

re: scraping genji off the concrete

i was talking to my friends in my discord server abt how demonized ashe is for being a loud country woman who’s also in a position of power

i was bringing up how characters like hanzo and gabriel get their actions excused because they’re attractive men and i was like “yeah people hate ashe for slighting cassidy but apparently thats way worse than hanzo literally hacking away at his younger brother with a sword?”

like i feel like people undermine how brutal it was like he didn’t just stab him one and done it was a massive fight and genji has everlasting scars + his legs are either very broken or cut off considering he mentions wanting to walk again in retribution

and yeah i get it GENJI forgives hanzo but i don’t

Yeah I do agree that people forget how brutal what Hanzo did to Genji was. It was too the point where it was only Angela who could save him. In a world where medical technology has far surpassed our own, do you know how bad it would have to be where only one of the worlds best doctors can save you? It would be bad-

I found a post awhile ago that goes into Genji's cybernetics and what would have been injured;

Yes's it's speculation but it's still worth noting that Genji lost more than half his body mass.

And with Gabe he was pulling a bunch of Bullshit before he even joined Talon. Going behind Jack's back, the Rialto incident, actively putting more people in danger by not thinking things through to point he should have. Let's not forget the little comments he makes towards Genji about Hanzo, and the fact that he let Moira into Blackwatch, someone who no one trusted and who ended being the catalyst of Talon infultrating Overwatch.

Contrast this to what Ashe has done, which is gang activity and being mad at Cole. It really is kind of unfair how the treatment of the two is so different. Yes it's hinted that Ashe somewhat lost her way in the early days of Deadlock's founding;

Putting the gang in danger and possibly even getting some members killed because she was going bigger and bigger too quickly. This didn't just cause problems with law either, but with other gangs too;

Deadlocks rapid growth got them being attacked from all sides, but do you know what she does in contrast to Hanzo? In contrast to Gabe?

She realised that what she what she was doing wasn't working, she look at what she was doing, corrected it, then went for a more diplomatic approach. Ensuring the safety of both her gang, her family, but other gangs around the west too. After Gabe and Hanzo lost something they seemed to just double down and accept what happened while also trying to do something that at least gave the choices they made meaning. Trying to at the very least get something out of what they lost.

Ashe lost Cassidy. Though I don't think that is the only reason Ashe took the diplomatic approach, personally I think Cassidy and Ashe had a fight about morals and what was happening with the gang before he was captured and that's why she took the diplomatic approach, because she knew Cassidy was right. Either way she didn't double down, she looked at her behaviour and corrected.

Honestly the whole situation with Hanzo is going to be interesting, people say that the interactions in game between Hanzo and the other members shows that he'd get along with everyone instantly. But I think that would only be true for Mei, everyone else who were close to Genji while he was in Blackwatch are going to be very distrusting at first. Hell the fact that Angela and Hanzo have not interactions says to me that if they interact outside of story missions it would be a spoiler. (I am of the opinion that Cassidy and Angela are going to meet Hanzo together purely because Genji needs someone to stop Angela from committing a murder)

I think people forget that Genji forgiving Hanzo is a big thing for Genji's development, not just Hanzo's, and I do think that people are expecting them to get along like brothers when that dynamic can't really happen, I think it's part of the reason the writers added in the "your like a brother to me" interaction with Cassidy and Genji. It's also why I like that Kiriko was introduced, it gives Hanzo the ability to have a familial connection again. Neither of them can forget the damage that has been done, even before Hanzo tried to kill Genji.

I personally look at Hanzo and Genji in the same way I look at Cassidy and Ashe. Yes, they can become close again, but things can never go back to the way they were. Trust has been broken, people have changed and damage has been done. All they can do is move forward, with, or without each other.