#THANK YOU ANON THIS WAS FUN

[sharkneto]

if you had a chance to write for the umbrella academy, what’s something you would’ve added or removed or otherwise changed about show canon

Oh. What an ask! You know, I try to stay positive here on tunglr.com about the Umbrella Academy. I adore the show, love the characters, focus on the positive and things I like rather than the negative things I don't. That said, the show has issues, more and more as the seasons progress. I do have opinions. And you asked :)

Read more because this is going to get long.

Starting in S1, there's not much I'd change - S1 is really tight, it's really character focused and its dark themes covered by sibling absurdity is delicious. Only thing I can think of off the top of my head to change is

Five has the gun in the finale. There is no tension with Allison having the gun for if she's going to shoot Viktor or not - we all know she isn't. It also makes Five just running up and getting caught in the energy tentacles stupid because he's never fought like that the entire show, he's more strategic than that. So, Five has the gun, we know from the comics Viktor gets shot -- it makes Five not shooting him more impactful, differentiates Five from his comic counterpart, and in general is a richer character moment for all involved. The only downside to all of that is it sidelines Allison, but some finagling of setting up the situation can put her back in a meaningful position (someone wrote a fantastic reimagining of this scene that gave Five the gun that still kept Allison in a key position with a heartful roll in how it shakes out, probably a couple years ago now. If anyone remembers who wrote that or can link it to me, I'd love to reread it again).

That's really it for S1, off the top of my head, anyway. On to S2! -

Handler stays dead, AJ is the big bad. The only downside to this is that we don't get Kate Walsh back, because she is so much fun, but the Handler absolutely died at the end of S1 and they retconned her to not-die so she could be in S2 (...because Kate Walsh is such a delightful villain). But AJ should have had a bigger roll in S2. He's the head of the whole Commission! The Handler was but a cog in the machine - what does that look like! The Hargreeves suddenly have the entire might of the Commission after them instead of a rogue Handler (pin in that for Point 2). Also, his character design fucking slaps, I'm still obsessed with him. And now, I'm hearing you go: But Lila! And I answer you - AJ is her adopted father. That whole plotpoint stays the same but AJ instead of Handler for parental figure. Diego's reaction to his girlfriend's father being a fish sells that all on its own.

The Commission should not be a benevolent force, with just the Handler as a rogue, evil agent. S1 Commission is a morally dark gray force of bureaucracy hiding behind the uncanny, cheerful veneer of the 50s. Their chosen method for keeping history "on track" is just a fuckton of murder. They left a kid to rot in the apocalypse for four decades. They have an entire department dedicated to making sure disasters occur (through strategic murder). The Infinite Switchboard is also dumb and only exists for fast plot for Diego to figure out what's going on - S1 method for the Commission knowing when the timeline is getting fucked is agents on the ground who call it in (S1 Commission inefficiency, my fucking beloved.). In summary, no one at the Commission is a good person (looking at you Herb and Dot! You are not and should not be positioned as good people!), and making the Handler the ~only~ bad egg there and everyone else positioned as good and allies weakened them significantly as a villain.

Viktor! He shouldn't have had amnesia! Robbed him of character development in facing what he'd done, how his life had been a lie, and the complicated feelings left behind between him and his siblings over all of that. I get it was a comic thing, but they didn't do the comic reason (Shot In Head), and they've changed lots else from the comics, so this should have been another point the deviated from.

Raymond should have gotten to meet Five. I just think that would have been fun.

The song that plays in Viktor's violin mind palace when he's getting tortured should have been [Viktor's] Orchestra from the S1 OST and not that goddamn Bach Partita. They already had a very meaningful and beautiful violin piece composed by Mr. Russo, what are they doing bringing in this random Bach? Missed opportunity. My feelings on this are so strong that I am including it with the above impactful plot changes.

There's probably some smaller tweaks for S2 that I'm not thinking of now, but that covers the main changes and this is already getting long and we haven't even gotten to S3. Because, oh boy. S3.

I give S3 a lot of forgiveness for being made during the pandemic. I think a lot had to be adjusted for Covid restrictions (There was supposed to be a whole Japan trip thing! Which is why the Hotel is all Japanese themed. The trip got scrapped, the theme did not, so it just comes off as weird and orientalist), and they still managed to have really great character moments and developments. That said -

Too much happened in S3. They should have done Sparrows or the Hotel (which I like to call the HOb, and is the shorthand I'll be using from now on). Both with the Kugelblitz made this season insane.

Lila isn't pregnant. The show has a real hard time writing women who aren't mothers or dead and they were almost doing a good job with Lila until this, she almost escaped it. I'm going to be honest, my first thought when it was revealed that she was actually pregnant and it wasn't just Stanley shenanigans was "Oh, abortion". I don't think it makes sense for where she is to be having a kid, and it ties her down in a weird way for the final season. Instead of being about her figuring out her shit after finding out her mom killed her, had her real parents killed, and her life is all a bit of a lie, it's now about being pregnant and/or being a mother.

The HOb isn't some weird universe reset button. Why didn't they like Fucked Up Space Prison from the comics??? That's so much fun! I'd allow it to be paired up with the Sparrows if it's a fucked up space prison, they compliment each other then. It being a reset button that Reggie has known about this whole time and is the reason he collected the kids also doesn't make sense with him killing himself in S1 for the original plot of the show. They almost hit the vibe they could have had with it, with the hallways and floors swapping around. Play with that more, make time weirder, don't have cheap-horror samurai guardians. Forever mourning how much cooler and weirder the HOb could have been.

A lot of people complain that the Sparrows were so minor in the season. I am not one of those people - most of them were tertiary characters, and with all the other plot happening and the focus (rightly) on the Umbrellas, they featured exactly as much as they needed and should have (without changing the season to make them the main antagonists). My only change here is Sloane shouldn't know physics. Why does she know physics and why is she as good as Five, who has 30 years on her. There's no set up or indication she is a math person (she loves reading and travel!) until they have their Kugelblitz math discussion and then it's never alluded to again. Is this petty? Yes. Do I stand by it? Yes.

Ah, Five. Obviously, Five shouldn't be the founder of the Commission. That whole plot, while great for the Five and Lila Frenemy Trip, reeks of Cool Reveal We Thought Of To Be Cool. It doesn't have any real major impact on anything, and it makes no sense for Five as a character that he would have created the Commission and then sat alive in their basement by himself. The guy spent a lifetime alone and tore the universe apart to be with his family and they want me to believe he sets up his life to end by himself and away from his family after making evil corporate time cops? Yeah, alright, sure, mmm-hmm.

There should have been a conversation about what happened in the barn at the end of S2. That was huge - Five unlocked a whole new application of his powers and watched his whole family die again. With the rewind powers, they should have given an in-universe reason for why Five couldn't use them at any point and not just pretend they didn't exist anymore. The Kugelblitz is eating time, if it's eating time there is nothing for Five to rewind or jump back to - there. I did it. Just some sort of acknowledgement for why Five's plot-breaking powers aren't breaking the plot.

Five should have been friendlier and more trusting of Reggie, incorrectly viewing them as relative equals thanks to his age and experience. From Five's point of view, Reginald has always been right and Reginald did help him when he talked to him in the 60s. He's a dick and unpleasant, but so is Five. It was the perfect set up for some delicious betrayal and hard lessons for Five to understand their father the same way the rest of the Umbrellas do.

I'm going to be honest - there is probably plot things I would change for how Harlan slots in with the Kugelblitz, but S3 is my least rewatched season, and when I do rewatch it I usually do a Five Watch (just skip through and watch Five plot), so I do not remember it well enough to point out what I would change.

Final point I'm going to make - Allison. I genuinely loved where Allison went this season. The most controversial part of her plot, assaulting Luther, I thought made perfect sense and I have a lot of thoughts about where her mind was during all of that. But I do not think the writers understood just how fucked up her doing that was, and that scene should have had further fallout and more direct conversation about what happened. Give it more gravity and consequences, if only for Emmy's sake because it really felt like the writers dropped her in the deep end for the amount of hate Allison got for it.

There are probably more things, but it is getting late and this is getting long. I adore this show, but my god does it leave so much potential on the floor. Leaves us lots to write ourselves because of that, I suppose as a silver lining.

[the-owl-tree]

How did Hollystar and Cinderheart's relationship start in poolverse?

friends to courting to covering up a murder buddies to awkward and distance to lovers my beloved :D

Like in canon, they were friends as apprentices and pretty good ones! Hollypaw got along with the sister trio really well, having a sometimes-not-so-friendly rivalry with Honeypaw, a laidback friendship with Poppypaw, and a really close friendship with Cinderpaw. There's no sparks yet as Hollypaw is wrestling with her crush on Willowpaw and the small fallout between them that happens when she returns to being a warrior.

Feelings later arise as young warriors where the two begin tentatively courting each other, ThunderClan settling into a (unknowingly brief) time of peace. This period is where they're both settling nicely into their own lives, really coming together in their identities and ambitions and places in their Clan. The two begin to drift when Hollyleaf begins to seek the role of deputy, her ambitions and distancing from Cinderheart causing a bit of rift in their courting.

Then the fire happens, and everything falls apart. Hollyleaf isn't the same, distant and snappy and angry and Cinderheart is unsure how to help. It's only when she catches Hollyleaf prowling out at sunrise, following Ashfur to the river...and messily murdering him, that she realizes something is very wrong. I've mentioned my HC for this before so i'll just breeze over this one, Cinderheart is the one who pushes the body in the river and cleans the blood and mud off of Hollyleaf.

Hollyleaf becomes very dependent and clingy to Cinderheart after the ordeal and Cinderheart, despite feeling awful about it, loves the way that she's gotten Hollyleaf "back". The dependence, the way they can both cling to each other...it makes her feel wretched about how good it feels. It's their binding secret, the glue that keeps them together.

Until it's not.

The gathering goes the same in canon, Cinderheart wails in betrayal at what Hollyleaf's done, and in the end, Hollyleaf disappears into the tunnels. Cinderheart is left angry and betrayed and heartbroken, spending a good amount of OOTS in a depression at what's happened. I'm tempted to have her and Lionblaze briefly enter a mateship for a little bit, but eh not sure what it adds other than giving canon a nod.

When Hollyleaf returns from the tunnel, the two avoid each other for a bit. I'm tempted to have someone give Hollyleaf the push to talk to Cinderheart, leaning to either Squilf or Jayfeather (they need to be blunt to snap her out of her daze!). Eventually, the two do talk things out and steadily become on good terms again...then to friends...and once again confidants.

It's only when the great battle is over, when the two realize that they've won and both of them immediately begin racing across the territories to find each other and make sure they're alright, practically crashing into one another as they cling onto each in an embrace that they realize they can try again. The great battle aftermath is where they officially become mates with noooo problems at all-

hey bramble where you going. whaddya mean holly is leader now hEY WAIT-

but thank you for asking!! some ideas i've had to play around with these two's relationship in poolverse is:

hollystar learns cinderheart is a reincarnated cat. she says something stupid lol

cinderheart and hollystar talk about holly's reluctance to let poolkit near leafpool. (since holly is living, i'm keeping the wonky relationship for character development)

a short one but i like the idea of the two talking about their apprenticehood crushes. hollystar is very surprised at how every cat seemed to know she had a big dumb crush on willowpaw

[chemistry-in-sports]

what storylines are you most looking forward to in the rest of the F1 season?

Hi anon, what a great question. I will give you my top three, I have to admit I did not think long about this so forgive me if I am missing any

Charlos: The Long Goodbye. Only ten more races with the Grid’s hottest and most confusing teammate pairing. We are all struggling with it. You, me, Charles, Carlos!

So, I dunno if this is really a storyline? I just want all the C squared videos that I can get. I want Charles and Carlos to awkwardly attempt a heartfelt helmet swap like Carlos and Lando’s. I want Carlos to win one more race with Ferrari and I want to see Charles trying to pretend he’s happy about it. I want Ferrari to figure out a few more reasons to blindfold them. I want to study interactions with the two of them and Alex and/or Lewis and look for signs of jealousy and insecurity. I am SAD anon. Much to look forward to next year but I am still sad

Lando. I just…wanna see what happens with Lando. Little guy has been either on the verge of, or in, a full-blown strop for half this season. He’s got beef with Max. He’s got tension with Oscar. He hates himself. Even Grill the Grid inexplicably makes him very very sad. I just want to see if Lando wins more races and how things play out with Max and Oscar and more importantly, how he feels about it. For the record, this is not a criticism, I love this about Lando. Moody king!

Checo/Constructor’s Championship. I’m sorry, I know people have a lot of feelings about this but I just can’t wait to see what happens with Checo??? Like with🔋recharged™️ and a car that is more suited to him…will we see anything change. What if he flops again immediately and all the discourse starts again. What if McLaren keeps gaining on RB in the Constructor’s championship. Just how gay will the Max/Daniel videos get if this all continues. I am excited to find out.

[mishervellous]

Hey now hey now

this is what dreaaaaams are made ooof

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

HEAR ME OUT

“Don’t you think I’m scary?”

“Scary? My god you’re divine”

AHHHHH

FuskqosnisisbssbjHWISNSKSOAOAKWAJ 😭😭🤭🤭😋😋

I love two lovestruck idiots who don’t know they’re in love w each other and it’s grumpy German shepherd x golden retriever 😻😻

PLEAAASEE german shepherd x golden retriever is one of my faaavvv tropes OAT !! it’s so so adorable and especially with katsuki cus i know he just thinks he’s so scary ! i got a lil idea after the recent manga chap that just came out, so this might be a liiiiiittle super small spoiler but i think its so cute ! hope you enjoy anon tysm for the ask ! much luv xxx

fem reader, super duper minooor spoiler but katsuki has stitches !, mutual pining, idiots in love, soft katsu (cus he has to be but also cus he’s whipped) (but hes still a little piece of shit) reader is a lil sweetie, short lil fluffy fic, touchy katsuki bc i cannot help myself, lmk if i missed anything else !

before the war, bakugou had made a lot of new little habits.

he’s made it a habit of waiting for you to head out of class so you could walk together. he’s made it a habit of sharing just a portion of his lunch with you, because apparently he’s constantly been making too much, ignore the fact that he only let’s you have those ‘extra’s’ that doesn’t mean anything.

he’s made it a habit of carrying around an extra water bottle with him because you always forget to keep yourself hydrated after training, he’s also made it a habit to scold you for it endlessly. he’s ruthless even as you whine about how mean he is, saying that “he wouldn’t need to be on your ass so much if you just remembered to grab your damn bottle.” he ignores the fluffy feeling in his heart and tells you to shut up when you tell him that he always has your back anyway, swiftly looking away from you and cheeks turning red.

and since you're on the way to his house, he's made it a habit of walking you home. you call it hanging out after school, he calls it 'just making sure you don't get lost somehow..hah ?! don't ask me how ! your dumbass would probably find a way to !'

anyway, he's made it his mission to grace you with his presence every day after school. you always bid him a cheery goodbye, "see you tommorow !" you say, and he always looks forward to it, even when he turns away, nonchalantly throwing you a quick wave over his shoulder.

usually you wake up at completely different hours, so he doesn't pick you up the morning. you always wished you could see him first thing in the morning, but seeing him waiting by the school gate's was more than enough to make your heart soar, you were more than happy with that.

but today you can finally go back to school. after dealing with non stop fighting for what felt, and probably was, hours and hours on end during the events of the war. and being stuck in the hospital for a few weeks, it feels nice to wear your school uniform and feel somewhat normal again. you'd get to see all your friends again and you'd official be a second year. you smile softly to yourself in the mirror.

katsuki had sent you a text a few minutes ago. he'd asked if you were almost ready, and you'd responded that you were only for him to leave you on read. you didn't mind much and shrugged it off.

but today, when you walk out the door, you see katsuki waiting for you on the sidewalk.

you blink twice, eyes widening. katsuki turns and looks up from his phone screen at the sound of the door he also blinks, although he's more unbothered then you as he simply stands up, pushing himself off his knees with a groan "took you long enough." he drawls. his eyes are warm and his lip twitch just the slightest bit at your expression "thought you'd keep me waiting forever."

"katsuki !" you exclaim, eyes still wide "what're you doing here ?!" you quickly walk to him, standing close enough to see the marks on his face, and the unmistakable stitches on his cheek.

he raises a brow like you're crazy, tilting his head "m'walking you to school."

"bwuh-are you even allowed to go to school ?" you sputter, realising he had his school uniform on, you liked it when he started making it a habit of wearing his tie more often. katsuki grumbles at your worries "shouldn't you be in the hospital ?" he scoffs at your fretting, but his eyes soften as he leans in closer to you. you see his battle scars better that way. you gulp at the sudden proximity, he's never been shy about getting in people's faces, although it was never meant to be intimidating when he did it with you, if the pink tint of his cheeks meant anything.

"doc said it's fine as long as i keep quiet.." he scoffs after finishing the sentence, rolling his eyes and causing you to giggle. hearing the sound he hadn't heard in what felt like ages made him sniff in amusement. you reach for his hand then, and he doesn't take his eyes off you while intertwining his fingers with yours. both your eyes shining with longing and affection for the other. you smile brightly at him and even though the doctors had told him to be careful with his heart, it seemed you were gonna make that hard for him. it didn't matter though, he was always up for a challenge.

pulling him along, you decide to tease him "guess that means you're gonna have to be on your best behaviour today, huh ? so you can't go gettin' mad at kaminari for no reason !" you playfully scold.

he rolls his eyes at the mention of your friend, though he doesn't hold back his smirk, he's definitely more open then he was compared to when you'd first started school. thinking about how far you've come together makes you happy, but it also feels bittersweet. "dunce face s'the who keeps pissin' me off, not my fault he can't handle it." you snicker and he snorts in amusement, squeezing your hand and making butterflies squirm around in your stomach. you don't mention the tight grip he has on your hand, probably because you're gripping his just as tight with no intention of letting go anytime soon. you probably look like a couple to the people walking by, you realise. and the thought does not displease you at all, far from it. it makes you a little too happy.

"behave." you squeeze his hand.

"i do." he growls, squeezing back, "he keeps trying me." you respond with a snort. your eyes occasionally fly towards his face, to the stitches on it more specifically. he's caught you looking multiple times on the way to the bus stop, not like you were exactly being subtle. your stare makes him nervous and he decides to finally confront you about it when you get to the bus stop.

"spit it out." he says, hands clammy in your grip, he hopes and prays you don't notice because it's so unbearably embarrassing to have to admit he was worried about what you'd think about his new look. he'd been anxious on your doorstep but you didn't give him much of a reaction, too shocked to even see him at the time, but your constant shifty glances made all the anxiety crawl back up again. so he speaks, keeping these distracting and frankly irritating thoughts to himself just irritated him.

you blink, humming curiously. katsuki grumbles to himself, keeping his eyes from yours. "ya keep staring at me, so what's up ?"

"it's strange seeing you with stitches." you answer bluntly. usually, he likes how honest you are, but right now it does nothing but stress him out. "i heard you messed your face up pretty bad, but i'm glad it didn't leave too much of a nasty scar." you muse. katsuki hums but his eyebrows furrow as he catches your last words, he's a little pissed off that you'd heard about what happened during the war. he'd wanted you to know as little as possible to keep from worrying you, or at the very least he'd wanted to tell you himself. he'll make sure to thoroughly question his fuckass friends later. of course, it also could've been her.

"..how'd you-"

"your mom told me."

he grunts. of course, it was his mom.

that damn hag..

"of course." he mutters bitterly. you don't respond, and to him that's all the answer he needs. a pit settles in his stomach.

"yeah, it's weird, isn't it ?" he agrees bitterly, unconsciously tightnening his grip on your hand. "it looks kinda creepy, right ?"

"what do you mean ?" his jaw tightens " i mean..like, on my face..." he sputter and mutters to himself, unable to properly say what he wants. you understand him though and immediately you turn till your face to face with him. your expression determined as you grab his other hand, both of his scarred hands now in your grip. his eyes widen in shock, embarrassment creeping up on him.

"there's nothing wrong with your face, katsu." you reassure, you'd made it a habit of calling him all those stupidly endearing nicknames, and it doesn't help taming the blush on his face slowly bleeding onto his cheeks. he pouts, fixing his gaze onto you and towards the floor.

"but doesn't it look..i dunno," he mutters, suddenly feeling self conscious "scary ?"

"scary ?" you tilt your head, he squints and looks away.

"i guess." he grunts with a nod, trying to save face. obviously it doesn't work by the look on yours. you're always so bubbly and sweet, he hates seeing such a pained expression on your face. you tug at his arms to get him to look at you "scary ? there's nothing scary about you.." you say sweetly, shaking your head. "i personally think you look really cool.." you mutter. katsuki feels his face heat, but his heart soars nonetheless. his eyes have been stuck wide for a second.

cool.

you think he looks cool.

"i was just wondering if they hurt ?" he tilts his head back in thought at that. instictively running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

"nah, just felt weird when they were numbing it. but i didn't feel a thing." he shrugs, he suddenly smirks, the stitches being pulled up by the movement "wanna touch em ?" he teases, pulling you closer by the grip he still has on your hands. your eyebrows shoot to your hairline and he barks out a laugh.

"i-i can't do that ! what if i touch them and they come loose or something !" katsuki rolls his eyes at your jittering, using the hand still in his grip to bring it near his cheek, you desperately pull back and his evil smirk widens.

"katsuki, no !" you protest. he cackles meanly.

"it's fine." he insists, your pointer finger grazes his cheek and you turn your head away.

"i don't wanna !" you shake your head, your shoulders shaking as you hold back a giggle.

"yn. you're fine." he insists. he'd made it a habit of calling you by your first name after you'd started hanging out more. you called most of your friends by their first names pretty quickly into the year, your cheeriness making it easy for you to get along with everyone but you always were a little on guard with katsuki at first. he'll never admit it, but he was a little jealous that you'd call everyone in your shared friend group by their first name except for him. the sweet bubbly tone in your voice when you called for sero or kirishima made a nasty feeling bubble up in the pits of his stomach he'd desperately tried to push away. until one day he'd snapped during your group outing at the mall (outing he was coerced into going to by kirishima after finding out you where going too)

he'd regretted how whiney and bitter he sounded at the time, but he thinks it was worth it every time you'd look at him and say his name so sweetly, definitely worth it, as embarrassing as it was. and he'd started calling you by your first name too shortly after. all your friends do, but it felt so, so different with him.

finally your fingers make contact with the staples on his cheek. you peek up to look at him then. you run your fingers across them ever so softly, making sure not to hurt him. katsuki slowly let's go of your hand. unmoving and unnervingly still as you take your time scanning his face.

"so ?" he raises a brow, smirk slowly melting into a softer smile as he sees you smile to yourself.

"it's..not bad.." you tentatively start, still too worried to move too suddenly. he hums playfully. "and you don't feel it at all ?" you ask

"at all." he softly shakes his head. you don't realise you've gotten closer to his face but he sure has, and you end up realizing a little too late, but neither of you move away. you try to, but katsuki pulls you back in before you can get far. "do i still look cool up close ?" he jests, but there's some seriousness and vulnerability in his gaze. you smile warmly.

"yup," you say softly, you hear katsuki inhale sharpy, eyes never leaving yours "definitely still the coolest. not scary at all" you giggle, he rolls his eyes but chuckles. before you can question your positition or move away (or closer) to him you see the bus arriving in the distance. he notices it too and you share a look before you take a step back, smiling shyly at the floor while he keeps his gaze on the bus on the way.

until—

"OW, fuck !!"

your eyes snap up to see katsuki holding his cheek in his hand, your heart hammers and your eyes widen. you're next to him in two steps. "what, what—why-what happened ??!" you stammer, your hands reaching up to grab ahold of his face though you stutter, maybe it was your fault ?!

until—katsuki bursts out laughing. mean, but undeniably cute watery cackles that have you furrowing your brows in confusion until your jaw drops in realization.

the. asshole.

"you're not funny !" you whine, pushing at his arm although pushing might be the overstatement of the century. it could be more comparable to a nudge because even though he is an asshole, you wouldn't want to hurt him. even if he deserves it, you're better than that. you'll just think about hurting him.

katsuk chuckles breathelessly, grabbing your arm while you walk closer and stretch your arm out to signal the bus to stop. "it was funny, admit it !"

"you suck. you're the worst." scanning your bus ticket and walking ahead ignoring him, katsuki quickly scans his ticket and follows diligently behind you.

"you thought it was hilarious." he smirks.

"the absolute worst, the lowest of the low." you huff, ignoring the persistant heat of his eyes on you. he only snickers.

"i see you laughing."

today, you arrive to school with katsuki not at the school gates waiting for you, but walking together with you to start your new school year as second years. and you both hope you can make a habit out of this.

[srapsodia]

Heard you're still looking for nekoma prompts 👀👀 I would absolutely love 24 with Lev and literally anyone else sharing an umbrella (or like multiple folks, the more chaotic the better, please and thank you 🙏🏽)

24: sharing an umbrella

some kitty cats in the rain! 🐈

[sqwdkllr]

IN LOVE WITH the way you draw phil

He’s a silly guy

[ping-ski]

moon grilling a cheese in a frilly apron while looking directly at the camera and doing a big thumbs up 👍(the cheese is burnt to a crisp. It is naught but embers)

girl dinner robot dinner! <3

[xxplastic-cubexx]

your movie charles art gives me cuteness aggression

obsessed with getting these asks back to back and yet they both hold some truth i think ...... thank you very much everyone ....

[askthisfishprince]

wwantin Calamari shouldn't havve to be an underwwater fuckin brawwl wwith a damn Kracken any time I get a cravvin for somethin other than basic slop!

Damn stupid sea creatures makin my life harder!

(bonus doodle lol)

wworth it

[jesuistrestriste]

Missing the Mike Faist priest kink era 😭 still wait for the«  see you in the next Wednesday service » ahaha I’m wondering if the locals suspects their relation or not( do they see each other outside his service ?)( Is he jealous when he sees other guys flirting with her before his church service starts ? ) 👀

OH MY GOD

an ask about "kneel" ???? im gonna cry

no let's talk about it because i never did a pt. 2 or anything

i think that a majority of the locals don't really suspect that the reader is messing around with the priest (they idolize him + see him as a nonsexual figure), but they do look down on her b/c of her visible promiscuity (i.e. the hickies and etc.)

they might notice her wearing shorter skirts to services, and crossing her legs/squeezing her thighs together incessantly throughout his sermons. someone might even catch a glimpse of soft bruises and red handprints on her ass after she bends over to pick something up in front of them the day after mass. and they're like omg? what is this young lady getting herself into? and who in this town could stand to do such vile, obscene things to her body? (as if it's not their precious priest)

i dont think they see each other outside of services/the church b/c they dont want to risk drawing attention to their "special, secret relationship". but! he does give her his phone number and she calls him sometimes when she thinks too much about him and gets wet :( he has talked the reader through touching herself on multiple occasions. tons of verbally guided masturbation over the phone as she lays on her bed, her hand between her legs, with an opened bible next to her. yeah.

he had gifted her that bible after the second time they had sex. not necessarily to indoctrinate her into the religion, but to give her a representation of something that was important to him. it was his subtle way of trying to connect with her. but it kinda backfired b/c now she gets hot and flushed when she reads the words "God" and "peace" and "faith". he basically pavlov's dog'd her. classically conditioned.

because she lost her virginity to him, she's definitely very attached. she tells him that she isn't, but its a total lie and he knows it too. she gets jealous when women, young or old (doesn't matter), come up to him after services all smiley and ready to talk to him about their problems. reader usually gets red in the face and pouts in the back pew as she watches their interactions closely. she worries a lot that she isn't the only person in the town that the priest is intimate with, but she is. he's fairly attached to her too. and because she's a pretty young woman, divorced dads and older teen boys will often try to flirt with her before the priest's regularly scheduled homily, and he has to gather all the restraint in his body not to insert himself between you and them.

they are very cute + sacrilegious. ugh.

[uhohdad]

any thoughts on slasher!konig?

(if not or if that’s too dark you can ignore this!! :))

he’s suuuuch a cliche slasher <3

SLASHER!KÖNIG X READER

It’s your fault, really. For thinking you could enjoy a relaxing weekend away from everything. All you wanted to do was hide away in an isolated, peaceful cabin in the woods. Enjoy nature, read smutty stories, and not be bothered by another soul for 72 hours.

Apparently, that’s too much to ask.

The dingy little cabin was hardly well-maintained, smelling of mildew and decorated with furniture that looks like the eighties puked all over it - but it was cozy, and it got the job done.

You’re still breathing life into the cabin long after the sun set, long after you should have been tucked under the covers and snoring away. Your phone blares songs you wouldn’t dare play in front of anyone else, humming along to your guilty pleasures with a wiggle in your hips. The inviting aroma of a sneaky late night snack wafts in the air, warm light pouring from the lamps and out of the windows, illuminating the surrounding woods.

The piercing ringing makes you jump, wide eyes darting to the phone. An old rotary nicknack you hardly noticed, and certainly wouldn’t have thought of as functional if you had. The ring slices right through you, high-pitched and grating. As your tensed shoulders relax, your lips twist in unease. Hesitantly you pause the music, making uneasy steps to answer the call.

“Hello?” You ask softly, not bothering to stifle your confusion.

No one speaks, but there’s someone on the other line. You can practically feel the deep, heavy breaths tickling your ear.

“Hello?” You repeat, brows furrowed and an index finger nervously twirling around the phone cord.

“Do you always vacation all alone?”

The voice on the other end is harsh, dangerous. Intense and deep with a purred condescension stitched in, it sends a shudder straight down your spine.

Your body stills, mouth turned cotton.

“Who is this?” You ask, an unfortunate break in your voice.

“Such a dangerous thing for a little lamb to do.”

You scoff, a smile creeping on your face, “Very funny.”

You laugh, pinching the phone between your ear and your shoulder, “Who is this?”

You rattle off a list of the usual suspects, your cheekiest friends and family members in hopes to get them to break character.

“It’s like you’re inviting trouble in.”

You give a nervous laugh, eyes flicking around the cabin, “Uh-”

Prank call or no, your heart is pounding in your chest. You swallow, parting your lips to speak but you can’t seem to find the words.

“Your dancing was endearing, though, little one.”

Your face drops, a chill wrapping its fingers around your spine and frosting you from the inside out. Feet made of lead, body still except for the rise and fall of shallow breaths.

The line goes dead before you can find a response, an even dialtone in your ear as you try to steady the heart pounding against your ribcage. When your thoughts catch up, fumbling fingers scramble for the rotary wheel, but the even tone cuts off as the lights go out, the life suddenly sucked from the cabin.

You pull in a sharp breath, slamming the phone on the receiver and backing away from it as if it’s a feral, bloodthirsty animal. Your head swivels around, eyes adjusting to the dark and eerie cabin. The adrenaline is coursing now, pulse pounding against your temple and knuckles knocking together.

A loud thud on the outside of the cabin makes you jump, snapping your head in the direction of the noise. A squeak leaves you as a blurred, shadowy figure passes quickly by the window. Your panicked mind is blank, frozen in your place, just barely able to fend off hyperventilation, but not at all the violent trembling.

You’re muttering objections under your breath, pleading desperately with your unwanted visitor to leave you alone, for them to reveal this was all just some big joke.

The furious jingling of metal echoes throughout the cabin, the doorknob rattling threateningly as your visitor tests the lock.

Your fingers come to your lips, wide eyes darting around before you scramble for a hiding spot. The best you can manage is a coat closet, pressing yourself flush to the wall to keep yourself steady. Weak legs ultimately slide to a sit on the stained carpet, arms tightly embracing your knees, pleading with your heavy breaths to quiet.

The first thud makes you crawl out of your skin, a deep, heavy crash against wood. Your hand comes up to your mouth, muffling your squeaks behind sweaty palms.

Another thud has you pinching your eyes shut, every muscle tensed and trembling.

The third busts the front door wide open, shards of splintered wood crashing to the ground as the doorknob slams into the cabin walls.

The whines creep up the back of your throat without your permission when you hear the sound of heavy, confident boot steps, rubble crunching under the soles as they enter.

You shake your head, lips pulled back and tears springing down your face as the slow, commanding bootsteps near. He knows exactly where you are, and he’s dragging out your torture by making you anticipate his painstaking arrival. Toying with his prey, cornering you and making you cry from pure terror. Teasing you, making you feel dumb for thinking you could even hide from him in the first place, reveling in each flinch he knows you’re making behind that door by simply walking.

How powerful he must feel.

An involuntary hiccup escapes you as the closet’s doorknob turns. You’re deafened by your own heartbeat, the door creaking open agonizingly slow, unable to stifle your sobs as he reveals himself in all his glory. Domineering frame towering over you, a hood draped over his face, a butcher knife at his side.

He tilts his head as he looks down at you - what a pathetic thing you are, teeth chattering and sobs stuttering on each breath.

He lowers himself into a squat, apathetic, half-lidded icy blue eyes studying you.

“That was too easy, little one.”

He sticks the flat of his blade just under your chin, tilting your head up to get a better look at you.

His eyes crinkle as his soaks in your sprung, glossy eyes, your tear-stained cheeks, your shivering bottom lip.

“What do you say I give you a minute head start, ja?”

He pulls a squeak from you when he meets your stare again, applying more pressure to your delicate skin with his blade. He creeps forward, closing the gap between your faces to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead through the soft fabric of his mask.

He keeps his face inches from yours when he pulls away, his deep, gritty voice lowered to a whisper when he speaks.

“Run, little one. I’ll meet you in the woods.”

✧₊⁺ abusive!könig ✧₊⁺ stalker!könig

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

[turnipoddity]

Okay okay but—

Lawrence tummy yeah? What about Lawrence back,, pudgy backs are underrated

oh yeah 🧎‍♀️

[reigningm4x]

Max at a restaurant in Tokyo tonight