#Surely I'm not the only one seeing this
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Me: Okay, let's watch a bit of the Olivier Awards, just to pass the time. And, most importantly, let's NOT make this Good Omens, yeah?
Michael sheen:
Oh, come on!! Even the haircut?!?!
Not to mention the bowtie!! Make it tartan while you're at it, why don't you!!
Please kill me already, and raise me from the dead when and ONLY when season 3 is out. Thanks.
You know, I'm really trying for the brainrot not to spread. I really, really am.
SOME PEOPLE just make it really difficult!
Edit: (Is it me or are they both vaguely sauntering towards their GO looks? I'm probably just going crazy, branirot and all, but I couldn't help raising an eyebrow at it)
#good omens#michael sheen#olivier awards#pov: you actually believed you could see Michael Sheen and NOT immediately think about Good Omens#olivier awards 2024#sorry for the horrible quality of the first pic#Surely I'm not the only one seeing this#right?#Maybe I'm just going insane#Wouldn't surpise me in the least if I was#But anyway. Good evening!!
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part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
#if you still can't see the rhyme scheme try reading it out loud#if that doesn't work uh. idk. can't help you#my art#my poetry#grian#geminitay#smajor1995#bdoubleo100#inthelittlewood#secret life#grian and his terrible horrible no good very bad eldritch coworkers: the sequel#cant wait to post the next part so i can be like 'my three secret life comics. and yes they all rhyme'#this one narratively doesn't work nearly as well as a standalone compared to part 1#however i accidentally went way too hard and could probably upload the middle page + second to last panel as their own separate art pieces#tbh i'm considering putting an explanation of everything below the readmore buuut i don't feel like it atm. :3 later maybe#me and my 20+ life series headcanons i only allude to without explicitly stating don't need to explain ourselves#still experimenting with this webtoon-esque vertical comic style#still not sure i like it#it gets long too quickly#among other things#but it's very easy to read on a phone so
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ever seen a man so beautiful you ram your bike into his flowers?
my full piece for the retrouvailles zine! i had a lot of fun painting it. hope you enjoy looking at the lil details, plants, and the only character who has his shit together (the dog)
#art#jjba#avpol#mohammed avdol#jean pierre polnareff#iggy#i suppose! he sure is here after all.#i sat on this for a long while and i'm very happy that the whole zine is out i had a nice time working with everyone there#also i like participating in zines. just saw another jojo one i would have loved to apply but you know how it is#the world shows you zine info only after the artists are announced lol looking forward to seeing it either way#ok enough babblin. stay cool
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It’s my Stargate and I’ll make it pink if I want to
#cannae remember the last time i posted art? dont know if i ever had a tag for it?#ill start a new one & we'll see if it ever gets used again lmao#juno.png#stargate#sga#stargate atlantis#so yeah this is clearly based on the pegasus gates but who is going to stop me from tagging the other shows?#sg1#sgu#im a fraud who has never watched sgu and only started sg1 like. last month i think? BUT im up to s6 of sg1#& ill watch sgu as part of my binge of the whole franchise I'm doing atm#PLUS ive watched sga like at least a half dozen times so surely that counts for something lmao
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I know little to nothing about Ludovica's partner, but to me seems she'd wear pink or purple (tho idk if those colors were popular during the 1500s) pink because itd be a neat contrast with ludo's green, purple because its a regal color
I also keep stubbornly visualizing her in pink! Not barbie pink but something along the lines of dusty rose or light mauve. I don't think I've ever seen pictures of any proper pink being worn in late renaissance times though, it doesn't exactly fit the aesthetic (but I could be wrong of course). Most pastel colors are strongly rococo (1700's) coded to me.
#I'm sure there are people who know a lot about the history of fabric dyes and why pink only became popular in the 1700's#but I'm not one of them weh#was it difficult to manufacture or something? I know saturated red and purple were expensive until synthetic dyes were invented#answered#anonymous#I think I'll see if she looks nice in pink and if she does I'll just use that#I try to do my research but in the end I'm not aiming for strict authenticity#artistic liberties have been and continue to be taken#see fig. 1: my beloved anachronistic clawfoot tub
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Okay, hear me out
Imagine with me. Batman, pedaling as fast as he physically can, on this children's bike, chasing a rogue. It was the only option he had, and he knows he'll be made fun of later by his kids, but he has a mission at the moment, so he can't be bothered to care
And then passing him is Nightwing riding a segway (Nightwing themed, of course), Red Hood wearing heelies, Red Robin on his normal motorbike, and then Damian on a little classic child tricycle.
As it turns out, someone (Alfred) had hidden all the normal vehicles for a prank war, left only Red Robin's motorbike to frame him (because who would suspect Alfred??), and was currently receiving pictures from Barbara to add to a photo album.
Alfred knows he's safe from retaliation, even when they figure out who did it.
#Tim was the only one unaware of the prank due to leaving last and not seeing the other vehicles#no one is pranking alfred back#the way tim gets out of being blamed is because he plays the “listen you guys know I'm smarter than to make myself the obvious choice” card#Bruce is the funniest to see due to the sheer size difference between the bike and him#plus the training wheels-#dc#batfam#batman#robin#red robin#red hood#nightwing#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#tim drake#jason todd#batfamily#dc comics#dcu#damian wayne#dick grayson#gonna be honest I couldn't think of anything for Steph#and I feel like Cass occasionally isn't in prank wars because she's far too good at them#and the others can never win#also not sure on Duke#though he patrols during the day typically so he wouldn't really be featured in this scene anyways
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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Danny moved to Gotham.
Freakshow is touring in Gotham.
Freakshow knows Danny is in Gotham.
Danny knows Freakshow is still after him.
Danny's faith in heroes has been shattered.
Danny turns to the only person powerful enough to run Freakshow out of town, hopefully for good.
Danny turns to the Joker for help.
The Joker is looking for a new punching bag sidekick after Harley Quinn left him.
Danny is just the perfect person to be shaped by the Joker's hands.
Danny becomes the new Joker Junior.
#pondhead blurbs#dpxdc#how we feeling about this fellas#i think it's an ideal angst fic#but i don't wanna write it lol#the younger danny is the worse it gets#someone said that danny shouldn't be afraid of the joker because he's a clown and freakshow is a ringmaster. not a clown#if i find that post i'll tag the creator cause i can't remember rn#but i'm imagining danny who is heavily traumatized and scared and lonely#finding out that one of his worst enemies he hoped to never see again is hunting him and is so close danny has to check his eyes every day#just to make sure they haven't turned red#his anxiety is out of control and he's not about to go find a Bat or Bird to talk to#who would believe him anyways? he's a monster#but danny needs help cause he will not survive this on his own and he knows it#freakshow haunts his every waking dream#but freakshow isn't from gotham. he doesn't have the city's curses engraved into his blood. he never died and he's not truly teasing death#so danny chooses to plead for help from the only predator bigger than freakshow (in his eyes) who IS from gotham#danny goes to the Joker. prepared to offer everything but his free will and free mind. he can't give those up. it's all he has.#danny is a feral house cat asking a tiger to take care of a mountain lion for him by offering the tiger his own liver on a silver platter#joker is...delighted? maybe? no one is quite sure. but he takes what danny offers.#here is this little boy. almost the same age as the second robin when he died. pleading for the JOKER to be his savior. this will be fun
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#spinda#AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky#whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct#ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way#have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby#ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in#shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun#i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café#which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing#it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around#and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere#nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately#not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever#their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig#shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!
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I find it highly amusing how in situations where the ninja are separated/it's just the OG four, Kai and Zane immediately assume control/start spearheading the team because apparently no one else is sane enough or in the right mind to do so.
Your honour, they literally have one of the best dynamics in the show, with how they're probably the most protective people in the team. And it makes me mad how this is overlooked by the fandom and the show.
#ninjago#zane julien#kai smith#Seriously tho#Aside from Cole#They're probably the most competent to lead#In Hunted they're mainly the ones working on everything#Fixing the radio#Jay has lost his shit and Cole is pre occupied with taking care of Wu#In MotM they just#Kai becomes the fucking Chancellor and with Zane as his Vice/right hand man#And in crystalized they're the only ones that are serious about this stuff#They're tracking Lloyd while Jay is bored and while Cole is doing nothing#Ay all I'm saying is#We need to see more of them together#I wanna see these 2 bond more#I want the show to focus on the aspect of them being the most protective#And how they probably have a lot of things in common when it comes to protecting the other ninja and making sure they're alright#Hmmmm my brain is going off in the tags#Oh chemistry what you done to me#You cruel cruel subject...#Anyway how are yall doing?
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Experimental drawing I did to test out different art styles
((TUMBLR WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE QUALITY??))
#Would you believe me if I said Paul was the easiest one to draw?#It turns out drawing thick lines is not as hard as I thought but I'm still not sure if I want to draw like this#Well#ig the only way to find out how I like to draw is trying out different things and see what suits me#eddsworld#ew paul#ew patryck
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Vicious August 1998
#I know!#a rare post of old visual kei stuff from me!#the context for this is that on one of my trips after COVID-19#I tried to find a substitute store for Trio2 which had shut down in Nakano Broadway#I had read that there were some magazine shops at least in Ochanomizu#I didn't have data and tried to navigate with my geolocation skills but ended up asking a sort of old officer just to be sure#he said something along the lines of 'but I'm just an old man...'#so a younger man came to his and my rescue and offered to help me#he understood little English and used Google Translate to communicate with me for the most#turned out he was a magazine enthusiast himself and he took me to a couple of stores#they all had only antique magazines like nothing past 2005#he found everything that had Dir en grey at each of those stores#I felt bad after a while because it was not at all what I was looking for#so I ended up buying the Xth magazine that he showed me#see above hah#just so you know I was really close to the store just with my skills#Dir en grey#young#scans#magazine#visual kei#vkei#Kyo#Kaoru#Die#Shinya#Toshiya#makeup#I'm not sure why I'm such a fan of that middle finger nail paint
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no no don't talk to me. you're telling me that Blitz and Stolas both have pictures with the other of themselves smiling while the other doesn't? and those are the ones they each keep? you're telling me there is a tangible representation of their different perspectives of their relationship???
Stolas' pictures including a conscious Blitz looking away from the camera and Stolas. Blitz's picture including an unconscious Stolas cuddled up next to him. Because Stolas believes them on equal footing/the same page about what their dynamic is with Blitz just hating every minute of it and Stolas. Because Blitz believes they're on different levels entirely and that the only way he can be content is when the rest of the world (and Stolas specifically) live on without him.
Because Stolas and Blitz are both terrified of being/dying alone, but while Stolas would sacrifice his love for Blitz, Blitz doesn't believe his own love is worth anything to begin with.
#i'm fine#just screaming because LOOK AT BLITZ'S EYES IN HIS PICTURE#he truly treasures that moment#also the fact that we just see one while Stolas has at least three#because Blitz would only take them when he's sure Stolas won't know#Blitz only allowing himself to love Stolas in his mind. his most private and secure thoughts#Stolas being so terrified he's not enough that he overcompensates and love bombs#oh boi here we go mutuals. I'm making posts about this fandom. it's an obsession now#good luck. I am going to be feral about this#helluva boss#hellaverse#blitzo#I can't to the cross-out o on my computer :(#helluva boss blitz#stolas goetia#hold on is stella a goetia#are there non-goetia owls demons?#did they really keep it in the family arranged-marriage this?#anyway#stolitz#blitzo x stolas#stolas x blitz#helluva boss spoilers#kinda???#wait does blitz have a last name
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it's probably decently obvious that my main lemon demon design was created BEFORE seeing any fandom depictions (or even really that much official art past the logo) because of how violently he stands out in comparison to other designs. it's a little obvious that my inspiration was self-contained and it granted me a bit of creative freedom along with a completely different train of thought while designing him. his three eyes however is very much a relic of 2022 because I was designing a lot of demons with asymmetrical faces at the time and well, why not make another
anyway here's a comparison of him to my most recent lemon demon original design (where it's a bit more obvious I was influenced by somewhat of a fandom culture)
extra bonus rambling under the cut
my general design process has actually stayed relatively contained with a few exceptions like soft fuzzy man's color and weirdly neil himself. yeah sorry chat neil is the first guy that was highly influenced by someone else's design you can shoot me too if you'd like. but I legitimately believe he's the only real example because every other character that has a design remotely similar to someone else is likely due to us both following a similar source material (like my cabinet design being based off polybius) or there being only so many ways to interpret the design (gef the mongoose would've fallen into this category if it wasn't for the fact I made him Joker colors)
in general I tend to follow a mindset of how "weird" I can make a design or how much I can push a lyric/implement it into a design. I also like to twist around the convention and try new things. a good example of both of these apply to my doctor amnesia design.
really the main things going through my head were "well he didn't state HOW many eyes", chosing an eye color that often is overlooked in conventional beauty standards to elevate them and cause you to think, while leaning into the somewhat otherworldly nature she's depicted in by giving her blue skin, a color I associate with the song.
another fun thing I'll do is create a "design pipeline" where I'll take an attribute and run it through a list of connections before we end up in a place long past where we started or just combining a bunch of traits that could be interpreted that way, resulting in designs like this.
though wolfgang isn't my weirdest design, he definitely did not start where we ended off. I believe before the wizard of oz theming for clown circus was set in stone (a choice that has EVERYTHING to do with oz explodes and an element I'll explain later), he was some kinda mirror object head that had absolutely nothing to do with his current namesake. since I wasn't satisfied with that design, I kept a relative aspect of the personality and shapes and thus ended up creating a really interesting take on a character who is largely depicted as... well there's no really good way to say this, but Bad.
since I was working with a new fresh aspect I started by making him a wolf... and then connecting him to "there's a robot in my head". this kind of connected the dots to ultimately make him associated to the tin man, since no one was connected to that character for the wizard of oz element and it was up for grabs (this is also how he somehow got associated with toasters via connecting the previously mentioned song to "what's in the toaster", etc etc). these pipelines of connecting songs that aren't normally related, but making them Work in a believable way makes designs more interesting for me and gives them a bit more purpose and personality. I think this is what ultimately makes people get a bit lost on my interpretations considering they aren't super simple by just being about One Song, but by being about multiple that aren't originally related in the source material. just like how I connected dr amnesia to when he died, explaining a bit of her more mildly supernatural or off-putting elements by making the man in that song her father.
the final real design element that I focus on is the strange rule I follow in terms of how these characters are shaped. there's a massive sort of "alice in wonderland" theming going on in terms of how human/humanoid designs look in contrast to designs that look less and less human. their proportions become more cartoon and shaped, their sizes are affected etc etc all while the human/humanoid characters stay relatively normal next to each other with more believable design elements.
here's the horrid long strip of nearly 100 different character renders next to each other to get a general idea on what I'm talking about
the silhouettes of the human characters "pop" less because they're supposed to contrast to their nonhuman counterparts. which isn't something I normally do, but given the source idea of a sort of "wonderland", I think it works in this specific context.
in conclusion: I'm design autistic and like to use designing to try new things, which is why I fucked that lemon up. sorry about that chat
#guy on the right is completely unaffiliated with the ncu which is why I don't think about him that much sorry ld#also imagine him with half circle black eyes like the logo design because that's legitimately the only colored art of him#nobody has ever actually asked me about this before so I will no longer wait for permission#debating whether or not I should even main tag this I want this self contained to my followers#but it's late so I'm sure no one will see this anyway erm#edit: fuck it it took like ten morbillion years to write the bonus stuff I'm main tagging#lemon demon#mos text post
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Behind the curtains in Black Hat's room...
#I had this idea for a long ahh time#the only reason I never made it... I can't draw backgrounds.#and it turns out... I still can't! but I made art#I finished it#this was a fight#I was struggling#this was a toxic on off relationship and I'm still not sure if I like it at all#it's one of those “I put too much time and effort into this atp so I gotta see it thru” deals#villainous#villanos#vilanesco#dr flug#flug#black hat#kenning flugslys#paperhat#villainous flug#villainous black hat#cartoon#fanart#my art#painting#!!! for the first time this year#I lost my old style I feel... along with all the brushes when my old pc died in december#my new one is ok... but I miss my old ways and I can't find them
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain#so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash#i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent#what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving#is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt#and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists#so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character#so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of#'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid#and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like#the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of#being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths#then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part#and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts#and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine#this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer#and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like#how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil#and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit#like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma#but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel#and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple#bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed#but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal
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