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indeedcaptain · 4 months ago

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Regulatory Relations, Chapter 22: The Captain

Holy fucking shitballs, yall. This is the end.

Posted on my AO3 here.

All I really have to say after this is thank you.

☆☆☆

Dear Mom and Dad,

Dear Winona and George,

Guess what!

Hi,

[Are you sure you want to close the program? Your content will not be saved. YES / NO]

☆☆☆

On the first day after the trial, Kirk took ShiKahr’s public transit from Amanda and Sarek’s house through the city center, and out the other side. Alone on the train as it flew along its magnetic track, he watched out the window as the now-familiar sandstone buildings whirled by. They passed the judicial complex where he had spent the entire previous day: he had walked in a suspect and walked out a free man. It rose up before him, sprawling and imposing, passed in an instant, and then vanished. Kirk turned forward again, letting the rest of the city pass him by, and waited for his stop.

The Vulcan Science Academy complex was housed on the outskirts of ShiKahr, built without formal boundaries to account for its near-constant expansion. It crept further and further out into the Forge— the buildings nearest the public entrance were the oldest, their corners sandblasted into curves by the desert wind, but the newest ones, built to house new advances in technology and new fields of research, were still sharp-edged and angular. The hospital was one of the oldest buildings in the complex--- one of the oldest buildings in the city, according to the lecture Spock gave Kirk and Bones that morning over breakfast. It had originally been a temple, housing healers in the millenia before Surak, a holdover from Vulcan’s war-torn history. Even after the wars had ended, the people who lived on the planet needed care, and so the temple of healers remained, now known as one of the most advanced teaching hospitals in the galaxy.

Kirk gave his name at the front desk, which was manned by a young Vulcan woman wearing scrubs and a student badge, and was granted entrance. He rode a swift and silent elevator up to the eighth floor and stepped out into a warmly lit hall. Enormous windows at either end of the hallway and the recessed light bulbs set into the ceiling gave the impression of midday sun, despite the early hour. He heard voices coming from the left side, and so he turned that way.

Around another corner he found two Vulcan doctors and a third human one, deep in conversation next to a bench and a variety of potted cacti. The human doctor, with graying red hair and a petite build, turned to him as he approached and said, “I thought you might come by.” Sarah April nodded to the other doctors before she gestured in front of her, and Kirk fell into step beside her. She led him deeper into the labyrinthine building--- the layout designed before the Vulcan preoccupation with logic--- and eventually stopped next to a closed door with a Vulcan sign appended to the front, a phonetic translation of April’s name. She smiled with sad eyes and said, “I’ll be outside if you need anything.”

Kirk nodded, and opened the door.

Admiral Robert April lay quietly in a biobed, surrounded by beeping machines and sensors. His head had been shaved, electrodes stuck to his scalp in a neat grid, and his dark skin was sallow under the lights. For a moment Kirk stood in the doorway, unwilling to wake him if he was resting, but then April rolled his head on the pillow to look at him.

“Enter,” he said, and Kirk did. There was a chair tucked into the corner with a blanket folded over the back of it. Kirk dragged it next to the bed and sat. The whites of April’s eyes were yellowed with exhaustion. Kirk looked at him; the man who had set everything in motion. How much of his behavior was Elise pulling the strings? How much was April unleashed?

“What do you want, Kirk?” April’s voice was tired, dry, almost a whisper. Kirk had had grand plans--- he had rehearsed what he wanted to say on the train ride there. He had told Spock where he was going and what he wanted to do, and Spock had sent him off with a kiss and a promise to see him later. But his words failed when he looked at the battered body of the man he had thought was his enemy.

He still saw the phaser fire before it tore through Spock when he looked at April. He saw himself on his knees in the gritty dust of Kindinos, and saw the sniper with the plasma rifle settling her sights on both of them. But he also saw the blinking brutality of the neutralizer and April’s muffled screams beneath it. He saw April, months ago, trying to pull Spock to safety with a promotion to a science ship far from him. He saw April fighting that hidden programming to allow him and his crew to leave the 31 ship with Elise in tow.

Elise would have hated what he was about to do--- she never could have understood it. Maybe that was why he had to say it.

“Thank you,” Kirk said. “For what you tried to do for Spock.” April rolled his head away from Kirk, looking up at the ceiling, and scoffed tiredly.

“For all the good it did, in the end.”

Kirk shifted to the edge of his chair. He had expected defensiveness, or the silent treatment; not this bone-deep resignation. “For all the good it did? Admiral, if you hadn’t forced the issue, you would still be stuck on that ship and that woman would still be running Section 31.” April looked back at him. “Spock and I only put together all the pieces after we had to start talking about marriage and bonding, and we only did that because you were going to take him away otherwise.” Kirk considered April’s shaved head, the scattering of machines and their symphony of beeping and whirring. He could have left then, his mission accomplished. But something in April’s haggard face told him that the other man was lost.

“I’m sorry that she did this to you,” Kirk said recklessly. “And I’m sorry for putting you here.” April shook his head shallowly.

“I knew…” he said slowly. “I knew that the charges were a sham. I knew they wouldn’t stick. This was what I wanted.” His voice dragged, like he was having a hard time connecting his mind to his mouth. “You can go, Kirk.”

Kirk didn’t move. “What are you going to do next?”

“Resign,” April said. “Retire.”

“That’s it? You’re going to give up?” The volume of his voice rose involuntarily. April’s eyes flashed to him--- the first movement that matched the vigor that Kirk had come to expect from him.

“What would you have me do? Weasel back into a desk job after I defiled everything Starfleet stands for?”

“And how much of that was voluntary, Admiral? How much of working for 31 was voluntary at all?”

In a blink, the fight melted back out of him. April looked away from him. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know anymore.”

Kirk leaned back in his chair, and for a moment they sat in silence, the only sound the beeping of the machinery. Then Kirk said, “Can I be honest with you?”

“I doubt anyone could stop you from doing so.”

“I don’t think it matters anymore, whether or not you know if it was voluntary,” Kirk said. “Enough of it wasn’t, and then you fought it. What matters now is what you’re going to do about it.”

April raised one hand weakly and gestured at the hospital room around him. “And what am I going to do about it?”

“Fix it,” Kirk said. “Find a way to talk about what you can’t talk about, and then help fix it.” When April finally looked at him again, there was a spark of life in his eyes: there was hope, a desperate hope, and the yawning cavern of an isolation that Kirk could only begin to understand.

“How?”

Kirk shifted his chair closer again. “Listen,” he said. “On Vulcan, what she did to us is called nekwitaya …”

Their situations were different, of course; the sheer volume of scarring in April’s brain was going to require a lot more hands-on medical care than Kirk had needed. But there was no better place for April to recover than on Vulcan, where a planet of telepaths and scientists understood the gravity of what had been done to him. Here, though there was no undoing what had been done, April stood a chance of healing from it.

When Kirk left, Sarah April was sitting outside the room, reading on her padd. She stood as he exited, concern pulling her eyebrows together and deepening the creases in her face. Kirk sent her Dr. Rowan McIntire’s contact information, and then he went home.

☆☆☆

The rest of that day was spent on logistics and organization. Kirk and Spock’s bonding would have none of the violence and circumstance of Spock and T’Pring’s koon-ut-kal-if-fee . They were not children, and there would be no challenge: they needed only their consent and a telepath to perform the bonding. Kirk was vaguely disconcerted by the sheer number of details that went into what was, in effect, a simple backyard wedding ceremony, and made a note to give Janice a commendation for coordinating both their engagement party and their first wedding with seventy-two hours’ notice.

Despite the fervent and genuine invitation that Kirk had extended, Neera Ketoul excused herself from the bonding festivities after he returned from his visit to April. “I do have other clients to attend to, Captain Kirk,” she said, but she shook his hand warmly when he walked her to the aircar that would return her to the transport hub and away.

“If there’s ever anything that we can do for you, just say the word,” Kirk said. “We could not have done this without you.”

“Maybe not,” she agreed, with her hand on the door of the aircar. She considered him, her dark eyes and skin shining under the hot Vulcan sun. “My people are not part of the Federation,” she said. “There is a lot of mistrust on both sides, perhaps too much to overcome. But men like you make me think that someday it could be.”

Later that night, as Bones washed and dried the dishes from dinner, Amanda reached out to the clan to request the services of a healer to perform the bonding, and Spock convinced a local restaurant to cater enough food for at least twenty people on such short notice, Kirk received a high-priority message on his padd from Starfleet HQ.

Dear Captain Kirk,

Congratulations! Though, naturally, the details of your court-martial are classified, I’ve received a new set of orders that make me think I can guess how it went. I’ve been called to Vulcan immediately to assist with [THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN REDACTED].

My formal title might be regulations administrator, but not many know that this role includes enforcement, compliance, and oversight, as needed. I think I’m going to have a lot to do over the next few months.

I’ve been asked to assemble a team for it, which is why I’m reaching out today--- it’s a bit irregular, but if you’re willing to sign off on the transfer and if she agrees, I’d like to request Yeoman Janice Rand for it. She’s got an unparalleled grasp of how and why regulation works in practice, and I could use a mind like hers for what we’re trying to do.

Let me know what you think, and what she thinks.

My best to you and the commander. :)

LC Kathleen Lee

Kirk read the message twice before carrying it to Spock, claiming the open seat next to him at the island in the kitchen. Spock scanned it and said, handing it back, “If Yeoman Rand takes this post, I do not believe we will see her again in any short amount of time.” Bones turned to them curiously, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed. He cocked an eyebrow up.

“Oh, I think we’ll see her again,” Kirk said. “It’ll just be when she’s running for president of the Federation.”

☆☆☆

On the second day after the trial, the morning of his and Spock’s bonding ceremony, Kirk sat undressed on the end of their bed and stared at the empty text block on his padd screen.

Dear Mom and Dad, I’m getting married today, again.

I’m Vulcan-bonding with my first officer today.

Did you go to Sam and Aurelan’s wedding? Would you want to come to mine?

Spock stepped out of the bathroom, barefoot and in an untied robe, and sat down next to him to look at what he was working on. Kirk closed the program and tossed the padd on the bed behind him before leaning into Spock. He was warm and fresh from the sonic, olive and bronzed from months on Vulcan.

“Do you wish your parents were attending?” Spock’s voice was gentle.

“Not enough to have written them about it earlier,” Kirk said, and when Spock leaned over him, one long hand against his sternum, he let Spock push him backwards onto the bed. “There’s so much to fix before we’d even get to that point.”

Spock’s lips brushed the skin behind his ear, down his neck, across one collarbone. “At our current rate, we will have another wedding in approximately eighteen months. You can reevaluate at that point.” Kirk laughed, and Spock’s hand skimmed down his arm, flipping their hands to be palm-to-palm and pressing his down into the mattress.

“I thought you were tired of parties,” Kirk teased. Spock nipped at him.

“I have been convinced of their utility,” he said, and slid his hands under Kirk’s hips in a clear attempt to distract him further. His efforts were successful.

The survivors arrived at the house just as the sun was beginning its graceful descent towards the mountains on the horizon beyond the Forge. Kevin wore his dress uniform, but the others were in civilian attire: Ellie and Tommy in near-matching black suits, much to Mira’s delight, and Martha in a dress. Mira wore a hot pink one-piece garment that Kirk couldn’t have named if he had tried, but he watched with a grin as Ellie teased her dryly about having brought party clothes to a court-martial (“We were only coming to testify!”) and Mira defended herself (“Wasn’t I right, though?”).

Bones also wore his uniform. He sidled up to Kirk as they greeted the survivors at the front gate, Vulcan’s closest approximation to a mint julep in hand.

“Seems to me like you’re starting to wrap things up here, Jim,” he said. “You’ve got more time. No need to rush back into things.”

Kirk glanced sidelong at him as his friends passed by, led by Amanda towards the garden where the bonding would take place. “I think I’ve had enough time away,” he said. “I don’t want to sit still any longer.”

Bones’s eyes were shrewd. “But you did sit still for at least a little bit, right?” Down the road a pair of figures began to materialize out of the heat shimmering off the pavement: a round human figure with a short dark thatch of hair, and a bear-sized lump of white and brown.

“I did,” Kirk said, and watched as the two abstract shapes slowly became Rowan and Suk’han as they approached. “Actually, this is someone I’d like you to meet.” Rowan wore her everyday professional attire that Kirk had come to recognize, but she had woven cactus blossoms into a crown and placed it jauntily over Suk’han’s ears.

“You’re looking well, Jim,” Rowan said, and smiled approvingly. He grinned and shrugged back at her before turning to Bones.

“Rowan, this is my chief medical officer, Bones. Leonard McCoy, this is Rowan McIntire. She, ah… she’s the new therapist.”

“Oh?” Bones extended his hand, turning completely towards her to get a better look.

“The famous Dr. McCoy!” Rowan shook his hand and accepted his inspection. “Tell me, how do you get Bones from Leonard?” As they clasped hands, some sort of mysterious medical understanding passed between them; when Bones smiled back at her, it was genuine.

“You ask him politely, ma’am,” Bones said, and Rowan laughed wickedly. Suk’han, apparently tired of not being the center of Kirk’s attention, pushed her head against his sternum and leaned a portion of her significant mass against him.

“Hello to you too,” he murmured, and passed his hands through the thick fur at the base of her neck. She nuzzled him sweetly, and for a moment, abandoning his pretexts at dignity, he threw his arms around her neck entirely. Then he released her, left Bones and Rowan to get to know each other, and went to find his husband.

The senior staff of the Enterprise were next to arrive. In small groups they beamed down outside the garden gates: Sulu, Chekov, and Pike, then Uhura, Chapel, Janice, and Priyal Khan at Spock’s invitation, and then Sal Giotto and Scotty. Uhura’s feet had no sooner settled into the sand before she was moving, throwing her arms around Spock and Kirk. Spock’s hand came up to stroke affectionately over the back of her hair, but Kirk couldn’t help himself: he picked her up and swung her in a circle as her laughter rang out. There were embraces and back slaps and handshakes all around from his friends; they accepted him back into their ranks as if he had never left.

“God, it’s good to see you all,” he said, grinning so hard his cheeks ached. He squatted next to Chris’s chair to hear him better over the hubbub. His crew mingled in the garden among the cacti and shrubbery with Spock’s parents, Rowan, and the Tarsus survivors. Amanda and Rowan talked quietly by the table of beverages, and something Rowan said made Amanda’s quiet laugh burble through the garden. Suk’han was ecstatic on her back as Mira, Uhura, and Chapel cooed over her spots and rubbed her belly. “How have things been?”

“Surprisingly quiet,” Chris said. “Seems as though you’re the magnet for most of the trouble that the Enterprise gets in.”

“Hey, now,” Kirk complained, and his eyes found Spock across the way, dark and handsome in the goldenrod light of dusk. “Spock was gone too. Maybe he’s the magnet.”

“You just keep telling yourself that, son,” Chris laughed. “Maybe someday you’ll convince someone else.” He navigated his hoverchair carefully around Amanda’s plants to talk to Spock, and Kirk basked in the presence of so many of his loved ones. As he stood alone, looking over the assembled, something painful twinged in his heart. Sam should have been here. After so many wounds had been healed and problems solved, part of Kirk thought that Sam and his ridiculous mustache should have emerged, laughing and whole, from behind some curtain. It didn’t seem fair that, after everything, Sam and Aurelan were still dead.

He took a sip of his drink and tilted his head back, letting the last of the day’s sunlight wash over him. I miss you, he thought fervently. I wish you were here for all this. He pictured Sam as he remembered him: throwing open the door to his hospital room, skipping classes with him after his return to school, showing him around the Academy campus when he first arrived, the holos of him holding baby Peter after he was born. He held the ache in his chest with both hands, letting himself miss Sam, before he opened his eyes again. The ache didn’t go away, but it took up a safe and manageable residence in his heart next to everything else. Then he exhaled and rejoined his friends.

Kirk was turned away from the garden entrance, talking to Scotty and Giotto, and so he didn’t see her when she arrived. He only heard the sudden hush that fell over those gathered, and in the silence, he turned.

T’Pau swept towards him through the garden, the edges of her robes disturbing the sand in tornado-like swirls. It seemed like even the insects and the night-birds had fallen quiet in her presence. Kirk raised the ta’al and glanced quickly at Spock.

“Elder T’Pau,” he said. “What can I do for you?” He felt, more than saw, Spock wind his way through the crowd and materialize at his side. T’Pau considered him, the half-light casting the wrinkles of her face in sharp contrast.

“ S’chn T’gai James Kirk,” she said finally. “Thee and Spock are to be bonded.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. She nodded once. Her eyes glinted in the fading light, no less shrewd for her age.

“Thee has done Vulcan a service,” she said. She raised one hand, her robes collapsing down around her elbow. “If thee will give thy mind, I will bond thee.” Spock’s shoulders settled back in surprise as he clasped his hands behind his back, and Amanda’s eyebrows shot upwards before she reined her facial expression back into a warm neutrality.

“It would be an honor,” Kirk said, when he found his voice. Spock shifted closer to him, their shoulders brushing, and they both sank to their knees under T’Pau’s titanium gaze. Their family, their friends, formed a loose circle around them and the leader of their clan as T’Pau raised both hands.

“I will bond thee in the way of our people,” T’Pau said, her voice sonorous in the desert evening. “What thee will witness comes down from the time of the beginning without change. This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way. Kah-if-farr! ”

She lowered her hands, and for a second, before she put her fingers on Kirk’s face, she waited. Kirk closed his eyes and nodded. With that consent, she placed her fingers on his psi-points, and the world around him vanished.

It was dark in the meld. T’Pau’s mind was vast and echoing around him. He could feel the enormity of her intellect, her age, the reverberating katric energy that she carried. He felt very small. He was a speck in the darkness, one single star in the galaxy, and he felt the scrunity when that gargantuan mind came to focus on him.

James Kirk , T’Pau said. This is the Vulcan way. Thee gives thy mind willingly to another?

There was a tiny part of him, ancient and wounded, that longed to flinch, if only out of habit. But he had not spent the past four months excavating his heart to give in to that habit now. I give it to Spock , Kirk said, or thought. He felt the rumble of her approval rattle the world around him.

Speak our words, she told him. I would bond with thee, ever and always touching and touched .

Kirk repeated them back, stumbling at first but then growing in strength: I would bond with thee, ever and always touching and touched. He said them again and again until he could feel his heart beating in time with its rhythm. He heard the echoes of hundreds of thousands of bonded pairs singing with him in T’Pau’s ancestral memory. He repeated them until he could feel himself vibrating with it; he glowed with his conviction. This was for Spock, this was for his best friend and his husband, the man who had walked into hell for him and carried him out--- this was what Kirk wanted to give to him.

Then, in the darkness --- there was light. A golden sun erupted into flames on the far horizon of T’Pau’s mind. It soared from an impossible distance towards him, trailing a burning thread like a meteor shower behind it, before falling towards him. Kirk held out both hands and caught the tiny star in his palms. It burned. It loved him. It unspooled into thread and formed a glimmering road from his hands to some indescribable point in the dark void beyond, stretching on forever. He felt T’Pau’s sudden and fierce curiosity, so like Spock’s, and the roaring approval of those who had come before him as it lit the way forward.

This is the Vulcan heart , T’Pau said. Her voice was as stoic as ever, but beneath it, reverberating through the meld-space, he could hear something that was almost surprise. Guidance is unnecessary for thee now. Follow the bond. There was an enormous shifting around him as T’Pau closed parts of her mind off to him; it was suddenly quieter than he had ever experienced. There was only his mind, and his thrumming heartbeat, and the golden burning string that pulled him forward. Follow the bond, James Kirk, T’Pau said.

Kirk took a fumbling step forward in the darkness, feet falling unsteadily towards the invisible floor under him. Then another. Then another. The string pulled him forward, steadying him, anchoring him. He knew where he was going now. At the far end of the road before him was Spock, his ecstatic curiosity and his secret kindness and the beautiful mind that he had offered to Kirk without reservation.

Kirk wrapped both hands in the nascent bond before him and took off running.

Ever and always, ever and always, ever and always .

The bond grew hotter and hotter in his hands, glowing brighter until it had all but banished the inky void around him. He had been wrong about the color--- it was gold, but it wasn’t only gold. It was the silver of the Enterprise , and the burgundy of Spock’s old quarters. It was the cream and green and gold of wedding streamers, and the blue of a science tunic. It was the umber of Vulcan sand and the black of uniform trousers and the yellow of an Iowa cornfield and the teal of a Tarsus sky. It was everything that was both of them, and it burned in his hands.

The sense of T’Pau was fading, that ancient intellect melting away. It was replaced instead by the insistent surety that Spock was near, that he was following the same path from the other side. The sense of him grew with every step as the bond glowed white-hot until it was too hot to hold. Even when he dropped it Kirk could feel it in and around him.

He was in the center of a star, and it flared around him. He was going to burn with it. It was all-encompassing, inescapable, incomprehensible.

I would bond with thee, he said to the star. Ever and always touching and touched.

Spock said, I would bond with thee, and his voice was everywhere. Ever and always touching and touched . Spock’s mind was everywhere, and Kirk dissolved in it. He settled entirely into Spock’s hands as Spock spun around him.

My Jim , Spock said, nearly purring with satisfaction. They tangled in each other.

K’diwa , Kirk said. In the meld there was no hiding his delight. Honey! Spock’s mind curled around his, and Kirk threw his arms open to accept it. He had not known before how literal the translation ‘meld’ was for what he felt: there was no separating them now as they spun around each other, a binary star system, a hurricane, inextricably entwined. He had feared this intimacy so entirely when they had first married, pushing Spock away to prevent the opportunity from ever arising. But none of that fear remained. There was no part of himself that he wouldn’t trust Spock to see and hold. They swung around each other as the star of the nascent bond burned. It slowly consolidated, condensing down from uncontrollable flame into something more like a bridge. It refracted into every color Kirk had ever seen before it settled into a solid arc from his mind to Spock’s. It glowed.

Spock pressed on it, and it reverberated. Kirk laughed as he felt it vibrate through him, rumbling his bones, lighting up his mind.

Bondmates , Kirk said.

Telsu , Spock said. His voice was steady, but there was no hiding his emotion in the bond: it sang with his pleasure. Slowly Kirk became aware of his body again, as well as his mind and the bond. He remembered that there was a world outside of their minds, T’Pau and Spock’s parents and their friends, and he felt Spock’s amusement at his chagrin.

We will have time, ashayam , Spock said, and in the swirling abyss of the meld Kirk felt his arms come around him. With the bond glowing like a meteor shower between them, he carried them back to the world.

Kirk’s eyes opened. T’Pau pulled her hands from his and Spock’s faces, shaking her robes back down over her wrists.

“Thee are bonded,” she declared without preamble, and she only blinked once as the unruly humans around her whooped and hollered. She caught Kirk’s eyes, looking down on him from where he still knelt in the sand, and she nodded. They were now even, he thought, and somehow he was certain that he and Spock would be welcomed back to Vulcan whenever they chose to return. He turned to Spock, a wide smile splitting his face, and Spock pulled him to his feet. The touch of his hands seared through him. By the time he had turned back to T’Pau to thank her, she was already halfway across the garden, a black-robed mass vanishing into the dark. He watched her go until a pulsing warmth in the back of his head pulled his attention back to the garden. Spock watched him, outwardly stoic, but Kirk could feel him through the bond: a subtle and curious joy that he knew didn’t belong to him. The sun had set while they were in the meld, and in the evening twilight Spock glowed in his vision with some invisible, intangible psychic energy.

He held two fingers out, and Spock met him in the ozh’esta. His eyes widened as their hands met and that energy arced between their hands, flashing up his arm and making his hair stand on end. Spock’s amusement and the dark heat of a promise for later in the evening soaked into his mind.

“I get it now,” he breathed. For a moment the heat overwhelmed him; he only wanted to drag Spock back to the guesthouse and make love to him while the new bridge sang between their minds. But their friends were here to celebrate them; they would have time enough later. With the knowledge of what was to come heating his thoughts, they turned back to their family and friends to celebrate beneath the desert sky.

The night stretched on as Kirk and Spock mingled with their loved ones. Every brush of their fingers or casual touch sparked down Kirk’s skin, driving him to distraction, and Spock’s well-hidden amusement was evident through the bond. Kirk could feel him in the back of his mind, like Spock had a hand on the back of his neck, and he couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling his mind against the spot just to feel Spock glow with pleasure on the other side.

Eventually, both too soon and not soon enough, the guests started to say their goodbyes. Tommy and Martha left first, with the promise that they would come by the next day to see Kirk again before they went home, then Mira and Ellie. Rowan and Suk’han followed, much to Chapel and Uhura’s disappointment. Rowan gave Kirk a hug before she left.

“You keep my information, you hear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kirk said.

“My new best friend Bones will tell me if you need to reach out and you don’t,” she said, and Kirk’s eyes widened with betrayal.

“I never should have introduced the two of you!”

Rowan shrugged. “Maybe,” she said. “But it’s too late now.” She waited as Kirk pressed his forehead to Suk’han’s, fondling her ears and accepting a rough-scrape lick across his cheek, and then, with one more smile, she left. Bones appeared at his shoulder.

“I like her,” he said immediately, and Kirk slapped him on the back.

“I’m sure you do,” he said. The Enterprise crew started beaming back up to the ship as well; Bones retrieved his things from the main house and accepted hugs from Amanda and Kirk before he left. As Janice stepped forward with Uhura and Chapel, Kirk snagged her arm.

“If you don’t mind too terribly,” he said. “I have a work question for you.”

“Sure, captain,” she said, and nodded to Christine and Uhura for them to continue on without her. Kevin dropped in behind them, returning to the Enterprise rather than ShiKahr now that the trial was over. Kirk steered them a few paces away from the rest of the crew as Spock saw them off, trying not to twitch as Spock left his side for the first time since they were bonded, and said, “I received an interesting message today.”

Janice’s eyebrows went up. “Interesting how?”

“It was a job offer for you.” Her eyebrows went higher, climbing towards her braided beehive.

“What type of job?”

Kirk considered her, trying to gauge how best to explain Lee’s offer. He mentally backed up, and instead put both hands on her shoulders.

“Thank you,” he said first. “For all your help before the trial. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“Oh,” she said, pleased, and looked down. “I’m sure that it would have been fine, you had Kathleen---” Then she cut herself off, and to Kirk’s immense surprise, blushed. “Lieutenant Commander Lee,” she said awkwardly.

“Now, Janice,” Kirk said slowly, grinning, “What’s all this about?”

“Nothing, captain,” she said immediately. Kirk shook her by the shoulders.

“We are at my wedding, yeoman,” he said, and released her. “I think you can be a little personal, if you want.” She looked up at him, blue eyes enormous, and covered her cheeks with the backs of her fingers before she said, “It’s nothing. It’s really nothing. It’s just…” She took a deep breath and said, her blush returning with a vengeance, “I’ve never met anyone whose mind works like hers before. Like mine. Working with her…” She trailed off and looked down.

“You like her,” Kirk said, and Spock looked over at him in response to his pulse of delight over the bond.

“I don’t know,” she protested. Kirk had never seen her at a loss for words before. “I’ve never even met her in person. I just…”

“She offered you a job,” Kirk said, unable to hide the grin spreading across his face. “She messaged me today. If you want it, I’ll sign your transfer.”

“What?” Her voice was sharp with shock. She covered her cheeks again. The bond in the back of Kirk’s head vibrated and shivered as Spock approached.

“I believe her exact words were, ‘She’s got an unparalleled grasp of how and why regulation works in practice,’” Spock said. “She has been tasked with something in the aftermath of the court-martial, and requested you for her staff.” Janice pressed her hands harder against her cheeks.

“I… But…” She looked up at them, her eyes shining.

“Yeoman,” Kirk said, and felt Spock settle his hand at the base of his spine. The contact sent shivers over his skin, refracting in his vision. “Can I give you some advice?” She nodded. He leaned into Spock’s shoulder and said, “Take the leap.”

Janice closed her eyes and nodded again. Then she dropped her hands away from her face and straightened, and Kirk saw the steel in her spine reassert itself.

“By your leave, captain,” she said, voice high with excitement, and Kirk nodded. With one more mischievous grin breaking out over her face, she turned and ran to where Giotto was waiting to beam up. Kirk and Spock turned to the last of their guests. The rest of the crew then beamed back to the ship, and when Kirk watched them go, it was with the knowledge that he would be joining them soon.

He and Spock helped clear away the detritus of celebration, and under the light of T’Khut stole away back to the guesthouse. Before the door had even shut behind them entirely Spock had pushed him back against it. It clicked sharply in the silence, and before the echo had even faded away entirely Spock was on him, tongue and teeth against his skin and his hand sliding down into his trousers. Finally he could focus entirely on the new bond in the back of his mind. When he closed his eyes, tilting his head back against the door as Spock licked down his neck, he felt not only his own arousal, but Spock’s too, shuddering over the bond in great gasps. He pulled Spock’s face to his so he could kiss him. He slid his tongue past the seam of Spock’s lips as they parted for him, one of Spock’s hands coming up to cradle the back of his head and hold him in place. He listened, and felt it like the ocean: behind a barrier that he could only assume were Spock’s shields, some raging morass swelled. Kirk slid his hands under Spock’s robes, running them up his chest, and he could feel it: both Spock’s heat and skin under his palms, but also the mirror of the feeling through the bond, the way Spock tingled and lit up at his touch. Their mutual arousal bounced between them, magnifying with each pass down the bond of nails against backs and teeth against nipples and tongues against skin. Kirk pushed him backwards towards the bed, pulling Spock’s robes off his shoulders and sliding his hands greedily over the miles and miles of exposed skin. He glowed in the light of T’Khut through the windows, rippled scars and body hair and bony joints all illuminated for Kirk’s admiration. Spock was his, every inch and neuron, to touch and hold and love.

“Yours,” Spock murmured in response as he let Kirk push him backwards onto the bed. Kirk crawled over him, relishing the mirrored drag of skin and hair, the way Spock ground up against his thigh between his legs.

Yours , Kirk thought down the bond, as loudly as he could, and felt Spock’s mind throb in response. The dual sensations of both him and Spock were overwhelming. He was flying blind, but he followed his instincts: he pressed his mind messily against Spock’s shields as he kissed and licked and bit down his body. Let me in, let me see you.

Ashayam---��Spock’s mind-voice was breathless as Kirk took him into his mouth, kneeling between his legs. His own cock throbbed, untouched, as what Spock was feeling flooded over him. He felt giddy with overstimulation, high on the sensation of the reverberating bond, the tether between their minds bouncing with movement and arousal. He crawled back up the bed to retrieve the lubricant from Spock’s bedside table. When he settled back next to him to work him open, Spock peeled back the layers of his shields in a striptease unlike any other.

Kirk did not frequently forget that Spock was an alien, a completely different species than himself; but it had never been so apparent than it did when Spock’s senses started to leak down the bond. His hearing was far keener than Kirk’s, his color vision slightly different, his sense of smell completely different. He closed his eyes to take it all in as he opened Spock up by touch alone. The way Spock saw him, felt him, smelled his sweat and sex--- all of it pulsed and dripped like wax down the bond into his mind. His fingers in Spock sparked with latent psi-energy, now made tangible through their bonding, lighting him up from the inside. Then Spock brought his hand up to Kirk’s face, sliding over his cheekbones and settling onto his psi-points. They slipped into the meld.

His body continued to move on autopilot. He settled between Spock’s thighs and pulled him into his lap. Spock groped at his shoulders and bit his neck as he slid into him, but all of his attention was within. He no longer had any concept of controlling or directing his own thoughts; the bond and Kirk’s mind were flooded with Spock. Spock slid into his mind. Spock pressed him open, the sheer overwhelming depth of his regard and his arousal dripping and licking into every fold and crevice. He could see himself the way Spock saw him: he could see shades that Kirk’s human eyes never could have distinguished. In Spock’s vision, he glowed a thousand shades of gold.

Kirk laced his fingers through Spock’s, pinning his hands down against the mattress, and buried his face in his neck with his eyes closed. He listened to Spock’s sharp little gasps and let Spock’s mind push into his, tonguing him open, laving his love, his thoughts, his lust over everything he was. The bond drew them tighter and tighter, swelling with the energy that poured between them, vibrating until it was singing one clear note between them---

When they came, they came together, and the bond erupted into glimmering shards of light.

☆☆☆

When he awoke the next morning, Kirk’s padd had a notice on it from the Enterprise .

By order of Dr. Leonard McCoy, chief medical officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise, Captain James Kirk is authorized to return to duty, with no restrictions, effective start of next Alpha shift.

His jag of bright sharp happiness startled Spock out of sleep, who turned to him immediately, reaching for him across the bed. “Jim?”

Kirk flopped backwards onto the pillows and tossed his padd out of reach before rolling over Spock, straddling his hips and pressing his forehead to his. Spock skimmed his hands over his back and ass, his question floating over the bond and through his skin.

Kirk said, “Let’s go home.”

☆☆☆

Kirk and Spock prepared lunch in the kitchen of the main house before the survivors arrived. They would spend a few hours together before they scattered back to the far corners of the galaxy; Tommy and Martha to their university, Mira and Ellie to their school, and Kirk and Kevin back to the Enterprise . After they’d all arrived and eaten together, Spock extended a gracious hand in front of him and said to Martha, “Would you care to see my mother’s garden? She has encouraged many non-native plants to flourish here.”

“Yes! I meant to ask you about Vulcan pollinators last night,” Martha said immediately, and smoothed a hand over Tommy’s hair as she passed him and followed Spock outside. The door shut quietly behind them, leaving the survivors seated around the island. It struck Kirk that, without his noticing, he and his kids had sat around a table to share a meal for the first time since Farm School. He and Tommy had both found partners with whom they could share what they had endured, Kevin had carefully eaten nearly an entire plate with only one preliminary flinch, and with every moment spent in their company Ellie became a little less private. She was still reserved--- she and Mira had always had different temperaments--- but she shared more of her own interests, rather than letting Mira talk for both of them. Kirk learned that Martha and Tommy wanted children, that Ellie had a partner but Mira was uninterested in romance, that Kevin was the number one scorer across all of Starfleet on a popular holo-vid game. With every detail that he learned about them, their hollowed-out, desolate faces in his memory were replaced with them as they were now: scarred but alive, so alive. Even if they did not stay in contact any longer now that the trial was over, seeing them was a gift to him.

The survivors stayed for three hours, talking over their empty plates. Martha and Spock eventually rejoined them with Martha’s promise to send along her research on artificial pollination for transplanted flowers, and Kirk spent his afternoon drinking in the pleasure of their company. His kids, his friends--- he had asked for help and they had risen to the challenge with a grace he had never predicted.

Their time was winding down when Tommy said quietly, “I’ve been thinking about something since we got here.” All attention turned to him. He released his mask from the side of his head and rubbed the damaged skin self-consciously before resealing it. “I want to find Laika’s parents, and Madeleine and Natalya’s if possible, and tell them the truth.” Martha’s hand found Tommy’s under the table. For a second there was silence around the table as they remembered their fallen friend, the empty sixth chair, who had only tried to preserve their meager water supply and had died for it. They remembered the adults who had tried to save them.

“Yes,” Mira said, voice firm, and Ellie nodded. “They should know.”

“Madeleine and Natalya were Starfleet,” Kirk said, and looked at Spock and Kevin. “Their emergency contacts might still be listed in their cadet files.”

“One of my professors from the Academy had been on the Valiant ,” Kevin offered. “She might know something useful, too.”

Tommy grinned lopsidedly across the table at Kirk, and Kirk grinned back.

Kirk and Spock stood on the long, low front porch as the rest of the survivors called for aircars to take them to other transport or commed the Enterprise to be beamed back up. When it was time for each to go, Kirk pulled them in for a hug.

“Thank you,” he told each one, and each time he received a variation on a theme: I’m so glad you asked. I’m so glad you reached out. I’m happy that I could help you. Thank you for bringing us back together.

Then it was only him and Spock standing in the late-afternoon sun, and Spock asked, “Will you remain in contact with them now?”

“God, I hope so,” Kirk said. “Maybe I’ll let them all get home and settled before reaching back out again, though.”

Then his padd dinged. He pulled it from his pocket.

You have been invited to a group message by Mira Alcanzar: FARM SCHOOL FAMILY. Accept invitation? [YES / NO]

☆☆☆

Amanda and Spock prepared a special dinner for their last night on Vulcan: a wildly illogical smorgasbord of the foods that Kirk had enjoyed most during his time there. Breakfast breads rested alongside the vegetable wrap that he had eaten every day for lunch for three weeks in a row after first being introduced to it. There was a lot of soy; Vulcans had figured out ways to prepare tofu that even centuries of Earth vegans hadn’t attempted. Sarek, home earlier than usual from the embassy, joined them, and though dinner was quieter for his presence it was not tense or unpleasant.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Amanda assured them after they all cleared away the plates, either stored or recycled what hadn’t been eaten, and Sarek had vanished into his office. “But the house will feel so strange once you’ve gone back.”

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. For us,” Kirk said to her. He dried the dishes that she had deemed too delicate for the sonic and replaced them in their proper places. She handed him the last glass and leaned her hip against the counter, turning to look at him.

“Logic does not need to be thanked, Jim,” she said. Then she laid her hand on his arm. “And neither does family.” His throat tightened at the unexpected words. She smiled as he struggled with his composure and turned to the kitchen at large, where Spock wiped down the table.

“I hope you come visit when you’re able,” she said. “I hope it’s not another twenty years before we get Spock back here.”

“I’ll see what I can do, ma’am. But if you could send me a list of anything that would qualify me for clan protection again, I might be able to speed up the process.” He and Amanda laughed as Spock raised an incredulous eyebrow at him, and then they bid her goodnight.

They were halfway across the garden to the guesthouse when a deep voice called, “ Sa-fu. ” Spock straightened immediately and turned over his shoulder. Kirk turned with him as a spark of surprise flickered down the bond. Sarek stood by the back door, illuminated by the light of the main house; it swirled over the waves of his hair and caught in his robes.

“ Sa-mekh,” Spock said, and Kirk felt the twinge of question and confusion in Spock’s mind. When was the last time he had called his father by that word, instead of his name? Had it been before that last catastrophic fight, before Spock joined Starfleet?

Sarek hesitated for a moment, before he crossed to them. For a moment he looked at his son, and his son at him. Then Sarek extended something between them. Spock took it and held it up in the light: it was a wrapped packet of coiled ka'athyra strings.

“Your playing has improved since your youth,” Sarek said. “But it appears that the strings on your instrument have not been replaced.”

“ Ka’athyra strings are rarely sold off of Vulcan, and therefore difficult to acquire while on mission,” Spock said, and gently turned the packet in his hands. He looked at his father.

“Then it would be prudent for you to return in order to purchase them more regularly,” Sarek said. He looked at his son, and though his face remained still, something in his eyes softened. He drew himself up and said, in the measured tones of the perfectly logical, “Your mother would like it.” He stepped backwards, as if to distance himself from what he had said, and instead raised the ta’al . “I travel early in the morning for a meeting, so I will not see you before you depart. Live long and prosper, Spock. Captain Kirk.”

Spock and Kirk both raised the ta’al . “Live long and prosper, Father,” Spock said, and Sarek nodded once before turning and sweeping back into the house. Spock looked down at the strings in his hand before looking at Kirk with something close to abject shock bouncing over the bond. Kirk ran his hand over Spock’s back, leaning into him for a moment, and they continued back to the guesthouse to pack.

Before Kirk fell asleep that night, he sent a message.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hope you’re both doing well. How is the U.S.S. Sausalito? Are you headed anywhere new?

I wanted to let you know that I’m married now--- to my first officer, S’chn T’gai Spock of Vulcan. We were bonded on Vulcan while we were on-planet for leave. If we ever cross paths, I’d love to introduce him to you. He’s great. I think Dad would like him a lot.

I also wanted to talk to you about something else. I’m not sure if you heard, but there was a court-martial recently--- I was cleared, but the trial brought up a lot of evidence about what happened when I was a kid. If you’re up for it, I’d like to talk to you about it. If you’re not, that’s fine. But the offer stands.

Anyway, that’s all. Safe travels.

Your son,

Jim

He closed his padd and dropped it onto the bedside table before rolling to wrap himself around Spock’s back. Part of him wanted to refresh his messages over and over until the battery died. Part of him hoped that his parents never responded. But he had done his part; the only thing he had control over was whether or not he had sent the comm.

They might respond and refuse to acknowledge that anything had changed, or refuse to talk about Tarsus at all. They might prefer to stay estranged and leave themselves at arm’s distance. But Kirk had reached out. He would leave that hand extended, because that was what he did: he would rather reach out and fail than never try and wonder forever.

In the end, he thought, what his parents decided to do now wouldn’t really matter. He knew that, either way, he would be okay.

☆☆☆

The next morning, Kirk pulled his uniform down off the hanger in the closet for the first time in four months. He held it in his hands, letting it slide through his fingers to the bed, before stripping off his sleep clothes and stepping into them. He sensed Spock’s approach before the door opened, and when Spock entered from the bathroom in his science blues, Kirk turned with his hands outstretched and said, “How do I look?”

Spock scanned him from head to toe and back again, and though his face did not change Kirk could feel him through the bond: pride and appreciation, a flicker of arousal that Kirk noted with curiosity and tucked away to consider in detail later, and his love.

“Ready for duty, sir,” Spock said, and bent to kiss him.

They met Amanda in the backyard with their bags. She was dressed to leave for her own work, hair wrapped carefully to prevent it being tossed in the day’s high winds, and unclasped her hands from in front of herself as they appeared. Kirk accepted a hug and Spock raised the ta’al .

“Please let us know how you’re doing every once in a while,” Amanda said to Kirk, eyes twinkling at them both. “Us human mothers do appreciate a sign of life.”

“I’ll make it happen, ma’am,” Kirk said, grinning. Then, with a lurch of joy and apprehension, he flipped open his comm. “Captain Kirk to Lieutenant Commander Scott.”

“Scotty here,” a welcome voice called back. “On standby for transport, sir.”

“Thank you again, Amanda,” Kirk said, and Amanda smiled warmly.

“You’re always welcome here, Jim,” she said. Then her focus turned to her son. “I love you, sa-fu. ” Spock inclined his head, and as Kirk gave Scotty the word and the transporter grabbed them, the bond twanged with gratitude and warmth and something that felt like daring.

“And I you, ko-mekh ,” Spock said. Before the transporter whirled them away, they got one good look at the expression on Amanda Grayson’s face as she registered what Spock had said. It was beautiful.

Kirk and Spock materialized on the starship Enterprise for the first time in four months, and it immediately felt like home again. Kirk closed his eyes, still standing on the transporter pad with his bag over his shoulder, and listened to the music of his ship: the constant low roar of life support and aircon, the beeps and whirrs of panels and machinery fans, footsteps in the hallway and the voices of his crew, and one Montgomery Scott at the transporter control panel calling, “Good to have you back, captain!”

“Ah, Scotty,” Kirk said, and grinned broadly. “There’s no place like home.” They stepped out of the transporter room and were immediately overwhelmed by a chorus of “welcome back!” and “good to see you!” from the crew passing through the halls. Tired engineers leaving the bay after Gamma shift passed bright-eyed Alpha scientists headed down to the science decks early--- the scientists did double-takes at Spock’s reappearance, raising the Vulcan salute and squeaking their hellos before darting down to the labs. Kirk bounced on the balls of his feet, drinking it all in. He had been returned to his ship, rested and repaired and more grateful than he had ever been in his life for the crew that had held space for him while he was away. He wanted to wrap his arms around the entirety of the ship and hold it close to him.

Spock pulled Kirk’s duffel bag off his shoulder and placed it onto his own. “I will return our possessions to our quarters and meet you on the bridge,” he said. Amusement and affection pulsed over the bond, spilling into his mind, as Spock thought, Go. I’ll see you in a moment. Kirk grinned at him, quietly pressing two fingers to Spock’s, and slipped with Scotty into the crowd.

He had thirty minutes before the start of Alpha shift, and he intended to make them count. He started by following Scotty down to Engineering to say hello to the engineers before shifting upward to the labs. He waved to Dr. Khan and Spock’s scientists, many of whom giggled and waved at the return of his formerly unexplained presence in the lab. He stuck his head in the crew mess to shout hello and grab a coffee, did the same in the officers’ mess, popped into the gym and Giotto’s office, and rode the turbolift just to hear the whooshing of it. He climbed a Jeffries tube and scared the living daylights out of an unprepared ensign when he swung out of it. He eventually found himself on the D deck: the longest strip of uninterrupted corridor on the ship, dead in the center and reaching from fore to aft. He didn’t see a single other person in the hallway; it didn’t have a formal use, and mostly served as a conduit to other places.

He raised his hands high above his head, stretching and breathing in the slightly stale tang of recycled air. The oxygen level on the ship was higher than that of Vulcan, and he was high on the difference. He would miss Vulcan. He would miss the guesthouse and Amanda’s kitchen and the purple tile of Rowan’s ceiling. But the Enterprise was his home; this was where he belonged. He bounced on the balls of his feet and relished the feel of his uniform against his skin and the comfortable tread of his work boots against the floor. Then, completely alone, unwatched, and free, he ran the entire length of his beloved ship, laughing like a kid.

Kirk arrived on the bridge thirty seconds before the start of Alpha shift. The turbolift door whooshed open, and it was like the past four months had never happened: Uhura at the communications console, Sulu and Chekov bickering at the front, Spock standing at parade rest by the sensors, already looking at the turbolift when Kirk arrived. Chris wheeled his chair around as a rush of warmth engulfed Kirk: welcome backs and hellos, and Spock’s pleased pride and comfort humming in the back of his mind.

“Welcome back, Captain Kirk,” Chris said.

“Thank you, Admiral,” Kirk said, and grinned. “I relieve you, sir.”

“I am relieved,” Chris said, and for a moment it crystallized between them: that unique love that a captain had for the ship they commanded, and their appreciation for the ship and the crew that they loved in common. Then Chris backed out of the chair-stall and Kirk strode down the steps to it. He flipped the seat back down and, after all his time away, sat back into it.

He leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. It felt a little different, after the alterations that Scotty had made for Chris’s chair. But he was different, as well, so that was alright.

“Your orders are to escort me, Morrow, and Drake back to Earth,” Chris said. “Then you’ll head back out to the black.” His eyes flicked to a padd that Kirk hadn’t noticed, resting on the arm of the chair. “That came this morning.” Kirk sat forward and flicked it open to read as Chris made his farewells to the rest of the bridge crew and steered himself into the turbolift.

HIGH PRIORITY

CONFIDENTIAL

Captain Kirk,

It’s been a productive few days for us, but it seems like every time we learn something concrete, it sends us down another rabbit hole of secrets. My prediction of a few months of work may have been premature. We’re not waiting for the investigation to be done, though, before we start rectifying some of the more egregious violations. Please see attached an assignment for after you return the admirals to Headquarters. If you find it more painful than helpful, let me know, but I’ve decided that you and Lieutenant Riley get the right of first refusal on this one.

Two other updates for you: first, Admiral April is remaining on Vulcan for the time being so that he can work with the VSA to repair the damage done by the neutralizer. Though communication is complicated on that front at the moment, he has indicated that he intends to remain embedded with my team until the work is done.

I did tell him what I was going to offer to you, and he said, and I quote, to “call it a belated wedding gift.”

Second: Janice says hello. Thank you again for signing her transfer - she has been invaluable already.

Reach out if you refuse the mission or if there are any complications. If not, report the outcome back to me once completed.

Best,

LC Lee

Kirk tapped on the bond to get Spock’s attention as he re-read Lee’s note. His attention snagged on the phrase ‘right of first refusal’ as Spock left his sensors to stand at his shoulder and read the padd in his hand.

Any guesses?

None that I am willing to put forth.

Kirk tapped to the next page and pulled up the mission itself. Across the top was branded FOR EXTRADITION: CRIMES AGAINST SENTIENT LIFE.

Then beneath that was LAST KNOWN ALIAS: ANTON KARIDIAN.

Anton Karidian was a man who seemingly sprang to life eighteen years previously solely to perform as an actor on various far-flung planets. Beneath the brief dossiere of information known about him was the formal assignment signed by both Lee and April: This alias may be used by the man formerly known as Governor Kodos of Tarsus IV. Investigate, confirm, and if confirmed, capture alive and return to Earth for trial and sentencing.

“My god,” Kirk said quietly, and covered his mouth with one hand. He scanned the information again: it wasn’t much, but it had come from April and Lee. Shock from him and comfort from Spock filled the bond in equal measure. A small part of him wailed in distress at the thought of facing the man who had killed his friends and destroyed Farm School. But there was a larger, louder, stronger part of him that called for justice.

He had already faced Elise and found justice for himself and his friends; here was an opportunity to do the same on a much larger scale. He thought about the eight thousand people that had died on Tarsus: his friends and his teachers and an enormous list of people that he had never met and would never know. They deserved accountability from the Federation; they deserved for their stories to be told. He turned his eyes to the viewscreen ahead of him. Below them was Vulcan, and ahead were the stars, so many little pinholes of light in a black velvet sky. But closer to him were his beloved bridge crew, his friends and his family, and they were prepared to follow him wherever he chose to lead them.

He looked down at the data sheet about Karidian. The troupe that he led was making its way through the Alpha quadrant; they could drop the admirals off on Earth and then continue on an intercept path to meet them before they got to Planet Q, where Tommy and Martha lived. He closed the padd. He would talk to Kevin before formally accepting, but he thought he had an idea about what Kevin might say about it. The Enterprise would take the mission, and he would tell his crew what their goals were when they were closer. He might tell the bridge crew why they had been assigned this mission, this man; he might even tell a select handful what he felt about it.

Kirk might find an unlucky stranger, or he might find the man who had walked through his nightmares. But he wouldn’t do it alone.

“Mr. Chekov, plot a course to Earth. Mr. Sulu, prepare for warp three,” Kirk said, and leaned back in his chair. He crossed his legs again. Behind him, Uhura called the Vulcan interstellar transportation authority to clear their exit, and his helmsman and his navigator in front of him ran through their checks together as they prepared for their departure.

His science officer, his husband, his bondmate stood quietly at his side, and rested one hand on his shoulder before returning to his sensors and scanners. Even when the touch of his hand had dropped away, Kirk felt Spock’s attention through the bond: partially on his console, partially humming at the presence of Kirk’s mind nearby. He would need to learn to shield, at some point, or risk distracting Spock every time he looked over and saw him bent over the scanners just so. But they would have time enough for that; in the meanwhile, he was enjoying the constant comforting hum of Spock’s ever-churning mind in the back of his own.

“Course locked, captain,” Chekov said.

“Ready for warp, captain,” Sulu said.

“Impulse power until we’re out of Vulcan’s range, Mr. Sulu. Then take us away,” Kirk said. The ship hummed and beeped and sang around him as his orders were followed, and he watched the stars shift through the viewscreen ahead until the ship leapt to warp and they smeared into blurry streaks of light.

Ad astra per amorem; and onward.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Martha and Tommy's first child, a daughter, is named Natalya. Giotto and his wife Miriam get to buy their house in Cairo, where they make up for the time they didn’t have. Janice and Kathleen Lee, along with Admiral April, have their work cut out for them. It’s ugly, and Elise does not let go without a fight--- but when it’s over, Lee will ask Janice to marry her. Sulu and Dr. Khan had a great time working together. When Sulu is offered his own command down the line, he takes her with him as his science officer. And Kirk and Spock, of course, live happily ever after.

#spirk #spirk fan fiction #k/s #k/s fan fiction #fake married #regulatory relations #my writing #JEEEEEESUS IT'S DONE!!!! IT'S FINALLY DONE!!!!!

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sachiko6243 · 1 year ago

Text

Known as the Commanders whore

Summary: Finally, Lucys rapist is trialed. But as Vulcan laws command it simply does not stop with a simple prosecution.

Word count: 6823

Warnings: violence, blood, pain, primitive fight, sass, fluff, smut at the end, Minors DNI! this contains adult content

Disclaimer: Spock and Lucy have a permanent mind meld, so they can feel and see each others thoughts and communicate through it.

Served hot for: @mystery-star

We then stepped together into the stands of the arena. Jim, Bones and Sarek surrounded me like a protective wall. Following Sarek, we walked through the narrow corridors and went straight to the balustrade that separated us from the arena. Thank God the sun had already sunken pretty low, that it disappeared behind the trees, otherwise I wouldn't have recognized what was happening in front of my eyes.

Spock and Hanesh both wore the same loose black pants. The rest of their body was naked and now covered with runes written in red paint. The highest minister L’Vor and the judge Avarak both stood in a circle with them, an easel of weapons behind them. My gaze was fixed on Spock, who appeared to be bandaging his hands. Avarak said something to the two of them that I didn't understand because of the distance and the murmur in the arena, but they both nodded once.

L'Vor took a few steps from the center and addressed the audience. Well, probably more likely me, since I was one of the few that did not know what was about to happen: “At the request of the condemned Hanesh, today's court verdict becomes a puk na' ha'kiv il tevak. Commander Spock acts as the defender of his K'diwa receives the right to first choice of weapon. As our law states, it is a fight to the death. The winner decides on the type of execution. Whether by own hand or by someone else's. A suspension of this rule is essential.” He turned slowly in a circle and gave the crowd a heavy look.

When Avarak then nodded to him, L'Vor spoke up again: "Choose your weapons." That was the moment when I subconsciously clung to Jim's arm. I stared fixedly at Spock, who walked slowly down the easel and finally decided on a spear and two daggers. To my amazement, Hanesh did the same. At Avarak 's signal, Spock and Hanesh went to their assigned fields in the arena. Avarak raised his arms, looked between the two fighters one last time, and then lowered his hands. “Begin.”

Simultaneously both men grabbed their spears and stalked towards each other. The daggers clattering at their hips. Spock was the first to reach out. With a low whistle, his spear pierced towards Hanesh's upper body. But he easily repelled the first blow with a crack. Spock attacked again, took a few steps and then jumped. This time his attack was faster. The tip of the spear aimed at Hanesh's neck. He missed it by a hair's width and a few seconds later the first blood dripped to the ground.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Spock seemed up to the task.

But now it was Hanesh who attacked. His tactics were more brutal and less subtle. He tried to hit Spock with quick swings, using both the tip of his spear and the end of the handle. Spock dodged it again and again, rolling across the ground and deftly blocking his opponent's swings. When Hanesh began to stagger from a particularly powerful blow, Spock counterattacked.

He rolled his spear over his shoulder, narrowly missing Hanesh. But the next blow caught my tormentor unprepared on the flank. With a loud growl, Hanesh fell to the ground. Blood seeping from between his fingers. The ease with which Spock had already injured him twice seemed to make him even angrier. With a loud scream, Hanesh threw himself at Spock, throwing him over his waist to the ground. Spock dropped his spear in surprise, which was promptly broken by Hanesh.

My grip on Jim's arm immediately tightened. I held my breath and watched with increasing fear as Spock rolled several meters across the ground before he caught himself. His fingers were quick on the hilts of his daggers and he barely managed to block another thrust from Hanesh spear. Wood splintered onto the ground and for a brief moment I thought I could sense fear through our connection.

But as quickly as the feeling had come, it was gone again and Spock lunged at his opponent with an indignant growl. After just a few hits, Hanesh also switched to his daggers. Probably because Spock was always careful to be close enough and not give him a chance to use the full power of his spear. Now, alongside the violent gasps, the clatter of blades filled the arena.

I bit my tongue and forced myself to keep looking, even though everything inside me was now filled with pure panic. The sharp blades clashed again and again. Often only a few inches away from sensitive parts of the body. In my panic, I hadn't realized how hard I was now clawing at Jim's arm. Only when he made sounds of pain and tried to remove my fingers from his arm did I relax my grip a little.

The battle before us had now become an indescribably deadly dance. In the low sun I could clearly see the sweat glistening on Spock's back and was fascinated for a few seconds as the red color began to run down his back in thin lines. It had an almost picturesque calming effect.

But then it happened. Hanesh scored for the first time. Spock hadn't been quick enough to block the incoming blade and so he had no choice but to dodge. Anyone else would probably have been dead, but Spock was skilled enough that the blade barely glided across his ribcage, only catching him in a small spot just before his armpit. Still, I could clearly feel the pain through our connection. Burning hot, it dug into my chest and I instinctively reached for the spot where Spock had been injured. A few meters in front of me, Spock fell to his knees and let out a pained growl. Hanesh, however, didn't give him time to think. He lunged for Spock relentlessly, forcing him across the arena floor and catching him again. This time on the back.

A shrill scream of pain escaped me when I felt the wound on my back. Both Vulcans' eyes were immediately on me. Hanesh eyed me hungrily. A smile on his lips as Spock realized with shock what was happening. Without a second's hesitation, Spock threw himself at Hanesh and lashed out with the dagger in his right hand. He narrowly missed, but instead his left hand hit Hanesh's thigh and slashed it across.

In his anger, Spock placed a foot on Hanesh's chest and kicked him across the arena. Slowly and fixated on his prey like a hunter, Spock followed Hanesh's path. His gaze was cold and full of hate. It was the first time I had seen him express his feelings so openly. Hanesh had now hoisted himself back to his feet and was standing slightly hunched over, balancing his weight on his right leg in front of Spock.

Both men breathed heavily and stared at each other for a few seconds, as if waiting for the other to react. Hanesh attacked again, but his movements were slow and uncoordinated. The wound on his left leg was bleeding crazy. Spock let him have his way, blocking his blows easily before pushing him away again. He assessed Hanesh again and watched as he staggered backwards. With an almost desperate scream, he lunged at Spock again, but he dodged the blades, turned around and sank one of his daggers up to the hilt into Hanesh's right shoulder.

All the breath I had been holding was released. And relief washed over me immeasurably. Without even meaning to, I rose from my seat and clutched the balustrade with my hands. Even from here I could hear Hanesh's rasping breath as he fought desperately against the blood that was slowly beginning to fill his lungs.

Hanesh raised his head and looked up at Spock. His eyes were full of pain and fear of what was about to happen. Pointing the dagger at Hanesh, Spock stepped behind him and turned him so that he was facing me directly. I put my hands over my mouth and stifled the sound that would otherwise have escaped me. Spock's entire posture was one of hatred. The otherwise loving eyes assessing me darkly, his hands trembling on Hanesh.

Only then did I notice the murmur that echoed through the stadium. Like a buzzing swarm of bees, the noise spread across the dusty square and filled the arena to the last corner. All that stopped as the chief minister rose from his seat.

He looked at Spock with an inscrutable look before speaking, "What are you waiting for?" End it.” But Spock shook his head. "No."

“No? It is your duty. Your responsibility to your K'diwa." L'Vor was visibly irritated by Spock's refusal. He just lowered his weapon slightly and looked at me. “Let my K'diwa decide. She is the injured party. She should do justice.”

“This is treasonous, Commander!” The Chief Minister let his booming voice echo through the arena. “A long time ago you swore to follow the Vulcan path. Now finish what you started. It is the law and not a game!”

Spock looked at him for a while before answering, "I also vowed to never become what my wife fears most. A violent man. She is the one who commands me. No minister, priest, or the law. If she demands, I will kill Hanesh. However, should she refuse, the execution of the sentence will be the responsibility of the executioner.” His gaze was icy and full of defiance directed at L'Vor. He took a visibly indignant breath before turning to me: “That’s how it should be. Decide.”

I looked at Spock impassively as I thought. Then I decided to ask him, "What do you want?" As usual, he didn't visibly react, but in my head, I heard his gentle voice: "Whatever you want." I suppressed a sigh. “You already said that. But that doesn't answer my question. Do you want to kill him?”

The answer came without any hesitation. “That and so much more. I want him to suffer. Make him feel what you felt before his miserable life seeps out of him. I want him to rot forever, disfigured beyond recognition, without ever finding peace. And even then, I will never be completely satisfied. He touched what was mine. Tried to destroy what is most sacred. No amount of torture in the world will ever make up for that.”

I felt that everyone's eyes were on me. I slowly sat up, my hands clasped behind my back, my gaze neutral. “Kal-tor wuh to-gav skil.” My words carried through the arena without difficulty. And before anyone could react, Spock slid his blade across Hanesh's body one last time.

His dagger slid through Hanesh's throat like a hot knife through soft butter. Without paying any further attention to him, Spock stepped back from Hanesh's body and simply dropped the daggers. However, I stared transfixed at the dark green waterfall that bubbled from Hanesh's neck. He had now tipped over and was twitching in his last fight. Over time, his convulsions became softer, his rattling breath slowed until he finally stopped completely. I took that as my sign.

Without waiting for any instructions or permission, I clumsily climbed over the balustrade and ran to Spock. I jumped into his arms with full force and clung to him. He reacted instinctively and wrapped me in a tight, sweaty hug. I tried my best not to touch his wounds, but I couldn't help but cling to him tightly and cry bitterly. All the tension that had built up in my body over the last few weeks had suddenly left me.

" Shhh, t'hy'la. It's over. He can't hurt you anymore." Spock's quiet voice in my ear calmed me down a little, but I didn't let go of him. Even when he tried to get me back on my feet, I remained clinging to his upper body. He just sighed and I knew he was wearing a smug grin.

Beside me, I heard several people approaching us and instinctively clung to Spock even tighter, but he remained relaxed and took a few steps to the side. And when I opened my eyes, I saw two Vulcans lifting Hanesh's lifeless body from the ground and carrying him away, while another collected the weapons and hung them neatly back in their place. “What will happen to him now?” I asked quietly and looked thoughtfully after the small group.

“He will be burned according to custom and buried in the desert.” Was the short answer I received. L'Vor's slightly arrogant throat clearing made me understand why. I wanted to climb out of Spock's arms, but this time he was the one who kept my feet from touching the ground. He adjusted my position with ease and then unashamedly let his hands rest on my thighs under my dress. Then he took long strides almost directly to the balustrade and looked the highest minister directly in the eyes. “Minister. It is finished. My task is done. I now wish to withdraw with my K'diwa."

"But of course. Nobody will bother you until you leave tomorrow. Live long and prosper.” L'Vor's voice was calm and firm, but by now I had learned quite well to perceive and interpret the Vulcans' slightest fluctuations. And by the way he spat out the salute at the end, I knew Spock had taken it too far.

But he didn't seem to be irritated in the slightest. Just as calmly, he returned the greeting: "Live long and prosper." He removed his right hand from my leg and raised it in the Vulcan salute, but instead of putting it back, he reached into the back of my neck and untied the only knot that tied my dress held together reasonably adequately. I wanted to lean back in shock and ask him what that was about, but Spock just held me close as he was dismissed from the arena with a mixture of Vulcan indignation and two human stifled laughs.

***

On the way to wherever, he finally allowed me to move. “You did that on purpose!” I hissed accusingly, but Spock just grinned sarcastically. "What exactly? I break a lot of rules because of you.”

“You…” I uttered and tapped him on the chest. “I’ll be known around town as the commander’s whore.” My feigned indignation didn’t seem to bother him in the least. Rather the opposite. As he carried me through the paths of New Vulcan, his grin grew wider and wider: "What a shame." He mused, looking at me diabolically. “And since you have now come to this conclusion yourself, I can tell you without a guilty conscience that you have already received this reputation from many.”

“Please what?” My face fell. “And since when have you had a guilty conscience? Normally you always insist on sharing news as quickly as possible because it's 'logical’." I drew marks in the air to further emphasize my indignation. By now we had arrived in front of Sarek's apartment. Spock had moved back in with his father after his mother's death, arguing that otherwise it would be a waste of space. Naturally…

He slowly let me slide to the floor and entered the apartment after me. It was a strange feeling to be here. Everything was so different from how I knew it on Earth and the Enterprise. The rooms were decorated in warm earth tones and only the most necessary furniture was available. However, I recognized some decorative elements that were obviously Amanda's style, and the fact that Sarek couldn't bring himself to not have them, gave me a little pang in the heart. It was rare to get a glimpse into the ambassador's emotional world, but when we did, it usually had to do with his late wife.

"That is correct." Spock simply continued the conversation. “My statement was just to annoy you a little. I only found out about your assessment today.” I turned to him and looked at him critically. “And what exactly does that mean? It will hardly be my clothes. I either wear my uniform or whatever traditional clothing was chosen for me.”

Now a small smile crept onto his lips. “It's not your clothes, t'hy'la. But your manners on how to speak and tendency towards body decoration probably makes one or two minds wander...” He winked at me and leaned with his back against the door, obviously waiting for something to click for me. “What…?” I looked down, confused. It was more by chance that my eyes landed on my fingers. I wore many rings... Then my hands flew to my ears. My piercings... And when I looked at Spock again, he looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.

I put my hands over my mouth, “Oh my God… How bad is it?”

Still leaning against the wall, he let his eyes wander unabashedly over my body until he stopped at my hands. “Well… The most apt comparison would be to a sexy set of lingerie. And your piercings... I think the equivalent would be nipple piercings on Earth?" He slowly came towards me. I was still too stunned to even react to him. Only when his hands gently touched my shoulders and untangled the cords of my dress did I find my speech again: “And why did you let that happen? You could have warned me!”

With a quiet hum, Spock dropped the top two pieces of fabric onto my hips. Now I was standing half naked in front of him. His eyes were dark and hungry as he answered: “Why should I? There's nothing sexier than seeing what you inspire in other men and knowing that only I will ever have you." His hands went to my waist and untied the elaborate wrap that was still holding my dress to my body.

“And who cares what they say about you? The envy you inspire is what makes me happy. My entire childhood I was pitied for who I am. That part of me is human. And now I see all these oh-so-logical and controlled Vulcans talking about my wife. My human wife, mind you. They would never admit it, but they envy me. Envying what I have and how willingly you give yourself to me.” His voice was rough and full of hunger as he stalked around me like a predator circling its prey.

When he stopped behind me, I took a deep breath so as not to completely lose my composure. His warm lips were on my neck, kissing me in a hot trail up to my ear. “You are my whore and they know it. And that hits them harder than anything else. A human who took control of a Vulcan like that. They hate it. You are what they swore to suppress. Lust and desire. But they cant. And to see how blatantly I deal with it; how easy it is for me... It eats them up. That's why you won't change a thing. You will wear your jewelry with pride. I want everyone to see what you are to me. Do you understand?” He murmured in my ear and a shiver ran through me. "Yes, Commander." I whispered, barely able to contain the excitement in my voice. But a knock on the door ripped us out of our little bubble.

"Spock? It's Bones. Yes, I know, I'm probably interrupting your little victory celebration, but I've come to look at your wounds." Bone's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. I looked at Spock in fear, but he just smiled diabolically: “You will go to the bathroom. Kneel in front of the shower and wait for me.”

***

POV Spock:

I waited until Lucy disappeared into the bathroom and took a few deep breaths to clear my head. Then I opened the door and let Doctor McCoy in. He looked around the apartment curiously, but I pulled his attention back to me before he saw too much: “You are correct in assuming you are disturbing us. I'd rather have you hurry up." McCoy gave me a reproachful look. "In moments like these, I seriously wonder what Lucy sees in you." His voice sounded angry as he set about cleaning and healing my wounds.

"Lucy certainly appreciates my efficiency, unlike you, Doctor." I suppressed a growl as he pressed a little harder on the cut on my back. "Well, for the sake of your marriage, I sincerely hope you'll put aside that idea of efficiency in the bedroom, Commander." Doctor McCoy growled.

“You can be sure of that.” Was all I replied before turning back to him with a slight grin on my lips. McCoy looked like he was about to implode and to my surprise he managed to keep his usual emotions under control: “Try not to push yourself too hard for the next few days. They are purely superficial wounds and I am relatively confident that they will not cause any further problems. But better safe than sorry.”

“Of course, Doctor.” I replied, getting up from my spot on the sofa to escort him to the door. Relieved to be able to leave the situation, Doctor McCoy strode forward to the door and literally flung it open. But before he left, he turned to me again: “I may have misjudged you, Commander. But after today... Seeing how much you're willing to risk... You have my uttermost respect and maybe we'll be able to put our differences aside at some point. “Assuming you stop being an ungrateful know-it-all.” He added.

I held back a smile and tilted my head. “I understand how difficult it must be for you to express your respect. But I also have to admit that your work on the Enterprise should not be underestimated." Then I simply pushed him out the door and left him to his thoughts.

The whole time I was just thinking about her kneeling naked and waiting for me and I practically ran for the bathroom.

***

POV Lucy:

I knelt on the warm tile floor in front of the shower, as Spock had ordered me to do. On the other side of the door, I heard the muffled conversation between Spock and Bones, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Some time later the door opened and Spock stood in front of me. My eyes immediately went to the place where there had been a bleeding wound just a few minutes ago. Now a thin pink line adorned his chest and probably his back as well.

He looked at me for a few moments as if he had to catch himself before entering. With his finger he motioned for me to come to him and I followed as quickly as I could. “Good girl.” He whispered close to my ear. “You will lie on the floor in front of the shower with your legs wide apart. And if I tell you to touch yourself, you'll do exactly what I want you to do, got it?" I nodded breathlessly, but that didn't seem to be enough for him because he grabbed me hard by the chin and shook my head. “Words, little one.”

"Yes, Commander," I breathed, receiving a satisfied growl. Then he pushed me away slightly and took off his clothes. As if mesmerized, I stared at his muscular body and let my gaze roam over him. As I expected, he was hard, and the evidence that the whole thing was affecting him the same way made me want more.

“What did I just say?” He growled, looking at me with dark eyes. His gaze broke me out of my paralysis and I sank to the ground. I quickly descended into the position he asked of me, my hands folded neatly on my stomach. Spock looked at me and slowly walked towards me. He stood over me with his legs apart. "Good girl. Why do you always need a prompt first?” His question was rhetorical. He knew exactly what effect his behavior had on me.

I shuddered under his hard gaze and didn't take my eyes off him as he naturally got into the shower and began to wash the red paint, sand, and sweat off himself.

The whole time he didn't take his eyes off me. I felt his gaze cause the familiar fire in my core beginning to blaze. Because of our connection, it didn't take long for Spock to realize this and he looked between my legs with a grin. “Look at you… All this without even touching you at all. Come on, little one. Give in. Show me what you would do if I didn’t exist.”

My jaw almost dropped to the floor. What the hell had happened to Spock? Not that I had anything against it, but where on earth did he get all this matter-of-factness?

“Do I have to repeat myself?” He hissed, splashing some water on me to get my attention back to him. But when he read in my mind why I was distracted, he let out a satisfied growl. “It’s my nature, little one. And the more time I spend with you, the harder it is to control that. I know you said I shouldn't, but if I didn't, I wouldn't get anywhere except taking you in every position imaginable."

I moaned softly at his words and let my hand wander between my legs. I collected my moisture with my fingers and spread it everywhere. Spock's gaze was immediately focused on my middle again. “It seems to me that the thought would satisfy you rather than disturb you. Interesting.” Guided by his words, I began to stroke myself. I let my fingers slide over my most sensitive spot again and again and didn't hold back the twitches it caused.

But when I wanted to push a finger into myself, Spock interrupted me: “Stop!"

I opened my eyes and stared at him in surprise. His breathing was heavy. He had his hands pressed convulsively against the wall. His cheeks and ears were covered in a green complexion, while red paint from his body mixed with the water and disappeared gurgling down the drain. Knowing full well that I would probably regret it, I looked deep into his eyes and sank the first finger into me. A second followed just a little later. Now I began to unabashedly massage my walls while with my other hand I spread my moisture over my clit and stimulated it in gentle circles.

I guess I was lucky that Spock was more or less trapped in the shower, because the look he gave me chilled my bones. He looked like he was ready to jump on me at any moment and take what he wanted. "T'hy'la…" he uttered, turning off the water.

Ignoring his objection, I just looked at him and gave in to the pulling feeling inside me. My knees fell to the side, my back arched and I knew I was close to coming. I pulled my fingers out of myself, looked at them briefly, then put them in my mouth while my left hand continued to bring me to an orgasm. Before I had even licked my fingers clean, my orgasm hit me with the crashing force of a derailed train.

Spock's name was on my lips as my moans rang through the room. Sharp bolts of lightning shot through my body and I subconsciously felt myself twitching on the ground. Everything in me tensed up and then lost all strength and stability.

Strong hands on my arms pulled me off the ground and then forced me back to my knees. This time on wet ceramic. A hard grip on my chin forced me to open my eyes and I looked into the dark eyes of my Vulcan. I should have been scared. Begging him not to hurt me, but the anger with which he looked at me shot straight between my legs and I felt myself becoming aroused again. “Open your mouth!” Came the cold command and I did as I was told.

He didn't give me any freedom of movement. Easily held my head while he pushed his member down my throat. He began to fuck my mouth ruthlessly. His thrusts were hard and controlled, forcing me to gag, but I managed to suppress the urge to vomit. “I warned you, little one. Forbid you to finish it.” He growled. "And what are you doing? Disobeying my instructions like a naughty child. Forcing me to punish you.” I moaned with my mouth full and closed my eyes in pleasure. His words were just too wonderful not to enjoy.

“Look at me!” A sharp pain shot through my cheek and my eyes opened again. I actually expected his punch to make me flinch, but the opposite was the case. My body was screaming to be hit again. So, I closed my eyes, not without first giving him another wink.

I immediately felt his hand land on my cheek again. And this time I didn't hold back. I let out a strangled sound and clutched the hand holding my head. "Don't tell me you like this..." Spock muttered in shock, jerking my head back so I could respond. I looked away guiltily. "I do… More than I should…"

“Fuck…” His grip on my hair tightened and something between a growl and a moan shook him. But he got himself under control again pretty quickly. He pulled me to my feet and looked at me for a moment. "Maybe the others were right after all... You're a little whore who wants to be used, aren't you?" Without thinking about it, I played along in his game: "Yes, Commander. Please…"

“Please what?” He asked. “What do you want, little one?”

“I want you to use me. I want to be your little whore. That you take me at your will, please, Commander.” I begged, looking at him with wide eyes. My answer made him hesitate for a moment, but then he pushed me in front of him right into the sink faucet in the bathroom. He arched my back, forcing me to look at him through the reflection. “Are you sure?” Concern flooded my mind, but I was sure. “Absolutely, Commander.”

He didn't need to be told twice. Without giving me any warning, he pushed my legs apart with his knee and thrusted into me. I cried out in shock as I was stretched so unexpectedly, but Spock didn't react. He forcefully pushed my hips into the position he wanted and held me tight. "If you're going to test my patience, then you should be able to live with the consequences." He growled in my ear and set a reckless pace. “You will take what I give you. And don't you come again without my permission, understand?"

"I... I'm sorry, Commander." I whimpered, trying to escape his hard grip. Tears formed in my eyes and ran down my cheeks. But he didn't even think about giving me any chance. "Good girl. Apparently, it helps to put you in your place.” When his cock hit me as deeply as he always held it back, I bucked up again. “Stay here, damn it. You know your safe words. Red Yellow. Green. I will treat you the way you deserve. So don’t expect me to feel sorry for you just because you’re crying.” He hissed close to my ear, arching my back further with a strong tug on my hair.

The resulting angle allowed him to take me deeper and more intimately than usual. His grip kept me on my toes while my hands tried to hold my upper body in the position he wanted me to. It was anything but comfortable, and yet it gave me a kind of release I had never experienced before.

“I love you.” He whispered in my ear and kissed my neck. "More than anything in the world, you hear me?" I whimpered in response and pressed myself closer to him, too overwhelmed to speak clearly. Until now, I had not realized how much Spock's dominance turned me on and how much my body responded to being so desired. “You are the most important thing in the universe to me and I will always protect you. No one will ever be able to harm you again, I promise.”

His words triggered a strong wave of emotions and I began to cry uncontrollably as my body continued to respond to his touch. The difference between relief and excitement completely threw me off course. My arms and legs gave out and my whole body began to tremble. But it wasn't trembling out of fear. I was shaking because my synapses were completely overwhelmed by what I was hearing and feeling. "Spock... I... Please..." Unable to formulate a straight sentence, I tried to make him understand that I wanted to come.

Luckily, Spock understood what I wanted from him and loosened his tight grip. He slowly lowered my upper body onto the faucet and stroked my back. “Come, K’diwa. Come for me." As soon as he said the words, my orgasm shook me to the core. I screamed his name, tried to find somewhere to hold onto, but there was nothing. Just Spock holding me, drawing gentle shapes on my back. I was his instrument and he played me as he pleased. I laid beneath him, twitching and trembling, my head full of confused feelings and things I wanted to say but was unable to formulate.

And Spock didn't seem to have had enough. His thrusts kept the same pace as before, the grip of his hand still hard on my hip. But when I was finally able to open my eyes again and look at him in the mirror, I saw that he was also much more worn out than he first indicated. A strained crease had formed between his eyebrows. The ears glowing dark green, biting his lower lip.

The way he held back for me sent new desire through my body and I reached blindly for his free hand. Without really thinking about it, I brought it to my neck and placed it firmly around my throat. Spock looked at me wildly and only raised an eyebrow. I nodded and closed my eyes in pleasure as he slowly grabbed my neck.

“Oh God…” I gasped as the familiar tingling sensation spread through my body and the throbbing in my head grew stronger. At varying intervals, Spock cut off my air and let me breathe again. This meant that my field of vision began to rotate and I felt like I was perceiving everything more intensely. In addition to the hand on my neck, he released my hips and placed two fingers on my most sensitive spot. I jumped back in shock, but he just left it there and looked at me.

With his eyes fixed on me, he began to paint circular movements on my clit and watched with a fulfilled grin as I began to twitch and spasm around his member again. “Fuck… How I love this.” He murmured, lost in thought. “How I love how your body reacts to me. How you twitch under me without even having a chance to avoid me. Just thinking about it makes me hard and makes me want to fuck you. And I know that in a moment like this, all I have to do is give a quick command and you'll kneel before me, ready to take what I give you..."

I whimpered against his hand and tried to press myself even closer to him. But he held me back. “Take it easy, little one. Trust me.” And I did. I let him guide me completely and just focused on the feelings he made me feel. The hot ache in my core slowly spread. Flowed down to my fingers and toes. I clenched around his member in a bout of renewed oxygen deprivation, causing him to momentarily lose the rhythm of his fingers.

He too was visibly influenced by what he did to me and, accordingly, to us. His breathing was now so shallow that I wondered how he was still able to take me so powerfully. Although his movements had lost their methodical rhythm, his member still hit my sweet spot and, in conjunction with his fingers on my clit, drove me further and further towards the abyss. When he removed his hand from my neck once more, I let him know in a strangled voice that I was close: “Spock... I can't take it anymore. Please…let me come…”

“Look at me.” He demanded, ignoring my words. I turned my head to the side and looked at him. A tap of his fingers on my lips made me open my mouth. He slowly pushed his middle and ring fingers into my mouth and watched as I gagged on them. Only when he had sunk it up to his palm did he nod with satisfaction. “Now, K’diwa. Come for me one last time.”

I closed my lips and sucked on his fingers with pleasure, letting my orgasm wash over me. Whimpering and twitching, I came for the third time. My body was completely drained. I collapsed weakly and only Spock's arm around my waist kept me upright. In the edge of my mind, I noticed him twitching and pouring himself into me and then leaning over me. Gentle kisses on my back brought me back to reality.

"Thank you, T'hy'la." Was all he said before he carefully pulled out of me and let me sink to the ground. I just laid there and didn't answer. But I didn't have to. I knew that Spock knew how much I loved him.

I watched Spock neatly fold our clothes and place them in a woven basket. Then he wetted a rag and knelt in front of me. He gently began to clean me and then wiped away the remaining traces. When he turned around and opened a cupboard, I frowned.

But he pulled out two long tunics, threw one over himself and then knelt in front of me again. "Come here, little one." he said gently, holding out his arms to help me. I let him pull me to my feet and just stood there while he dressed me. Then he took me into a warm, long hug. “I love you, T'hy'la. Forever.” I replied softly against his chest, “I love you too.”

“Can you walk?” He asked out of nowhere and I shook my head. "I don't think so." My answer made him smile. He took a step back, placed his arms at the back of my knees and under my shoulders, and lifted me effortlessly. I was far too dazed to even react and allowed myself to be carried out of the bathroom without protest.

It was only when we were standing in the living room, where Sarek was sitting naturally on the sofa, his nose buried in a book, that I realized my surroundings. Panic and embarrassment rose within me and I felt myself turning red. But neither Spock nor Sarek seemed to react much to the unpleasant situation. Sarek put down his book and looked at us for a moment: "Am I correct in assuming that your retreat went pleasantly?"

My jaw dropped at his words, but Spock was quicker to find an answer than I was. "Indeed, father." Sarek just nodded and was silent for a while before continuing: "The people are talking, Spock."

“I know what they are talking about, father. And I don't care." Spock interrupted him and lifted his chin cockily in the air. Sarek just smiled. “I know, sa-fu. You have always followed your own path. Although, I must point out that your behavior in the arena today was marked by emotions. Your mother would be proud of you.”

I saw Spock smile slightly at his father's words. “Well, Lucy is my wife. My K'diwa. To expect anything else would be illogical.” With that he walked to the door, still carrying me in his arms. Without really paying attention to our surroundings, Spock carried me to the appointed meeting point. Jim and Bones were already waiting and I wondered who had summoned them. But Jim just raised an eyebrow and tapped his PADD while Bones shook his head with a smile.

“Well then… off to new adventures.” Jim said and looked at us. "Our next mission will be a five-year reconnaissance mission and I swear, if I'm informed that the first Enterprise baby is going to be born during it, I'll throw you out in an instant."

His words made us all laugh and Spock cocked his head. “Don’t worry in that case we’ll call it James.”

#fem reader #smut #star trek #spock #commander spock #spock x reader #spock smut

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t0ast-ghost · 6 months ago

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Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home thoughts!!!

Love me some good ol’ treks and I know this is the one with the whales (which reminds me of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)

Warning for spoiling the whole movie (don’t cry over spoiled movie if you don’t have to! Go watch it for yourself!)

Let’s get going:

- A LEONARD NIMOY FILM ?!?

- okay Harve Bennett. I see you in the credits.

- I like the Saratoga crew. Too bad they’re probably gonna die immediately

- HIII SAREK!!! God he’s hot I hate him so much

- “Personal bias! His son was saved by Kirk.” His son is also married to Kirk so…

- McCoy got to choose the name of the ship :))

- Kirk’s wearing the same shirt.. oh wait they all are nvm

- Spock on a rock

- Hi Amanda!

- “Spock, the retraining of your mind has been in the Vulcan way so you may not understand feelings, but as my son, you have them.”

- Amanda trying to tell Spock that his friends care about him so much that they go against what is logical and it mirrors how in journey to babel Spock was not willing to sacrifice the good of the many (the ship) for the good of the one (his father) so I’m wondering if they will have an arc for him realizing that sometimes you want the one and not the many

- I like the problems they keep having with projectors/videos. Or not exactly problems but in the beginning they had to ask multiple times for the video to stop playing and here they are just talking over the transmission in the background. It adds a sense of confusion and havoc that I think makes it delightfully more realistic

- The Bird of Prey is such a beautiful design

- “I did not wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral.” lol nice Chekov

- Nooo Spock and Saavik don’t have the mentor/mentee vibes anymore :(((

- Kirk really wants Spock to call him Jim… he misses his husband :(

- Bones is right. And then he leaves Kirk with the “That’s what I thought.” And the entire bridge crew is just like ‘don’t engage, look away, the husbands are fighting but just don’t look.’

- The copy pasted Saavik and Amanda

- “Hi. Busy?” McCoy sliding over to Spock

- McCoy just say you’re happy he’s back. He misses his verbal sparring buddy omg

- “Forgive me, Doctor, I’m receiving a number of distress calls.” McCoy is SHOCKED like, ‘did he just purposely reject me???’ I’m crying

- sad! Your husband died and now he doesn’t want to fight with you!!

- hi bitch! (It’s Sarek)

- THEY PUT EYELINER ON CHEKOV!

- THE PROBE SOUNDS LIKE WHALES ???

- so the transmission is for whales. That’s cool.

- Uhura would make a sick DJ. She’s remixing the whale sounds

- “Bones, you stay here.” “No way. Somebody’s got to keep an eye on him.” He’s trying to look out for his husbands

- love sci fi that is like ‘sea creatures interacting with space hmmm yess I think it will’ cause if you think about it, there’s a lot of sea that is unexplored just like space (yeah I’m talking about HGttG again)

- SPOCK SAYS SAVE THE FUCKING WHALES

- McCoy DOES NOT want them to travel back in time

- HII CHAPEL HIIII

- The chaos in the control room with someone on the screen talking over everyone else in the room… perfection

- Sometimes Kirk sounds like Seth Macfarlane

- “You really gonna try time travel in this rust bucket?” “We’ve done it before.” “Sure. Slingshot around the sun, pick up enough speed and you’re in time warp. If you don’t, you’re fried.” “You prefer to do nothing?” “I prefer a dose of common sense. You’re proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them froward in time, drop them off, and hope to hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself.” “That’s the general idea.” “Well, that’s crazy.” “You have a better idea? Now’s the time.” Yep. That summarizes it better than I could ever. How McCoy stays married to this man is a mystery

- The command base hears that Kirk is going to time travel and PANICS

- “May fortune favour the foolish.” Good Kirk line

- The ship is actively falling apart

- They’re back in time!

- Sulu lore! he was born in sanfransico or however you spell it

- McCoy trying not to laugh at Spock’s little bandana. Kirk smiles for a second and then remembers himself

- THEYRE IN THE WILD! SET LOSE! Who let them roam free?!

- Winchell’s Donut House. Wonder if that’s still open. Or real. Damn, I want donuts.

- Kirk almost getting run over “Well a double dumbass on you!” And then he throws up his hands omg I love him

- They’re all slaying

- “The rest of you, break up. You look like a cadet review.” They’re all kinda lost tho

- Spock in the pawn shop is looking like, ‘those were a birthday present from our husband. Why would you give them away :(‘

- Kirk and his powerful skills of deduction. He won’t let Spock just infodump :(

- They’re all really good looking.

- UHURA AND CHEKOV TEAM UP! Something I didn’t know I needed (I need it)

- NO LITTLE RUSSIAN BOY! Don’t ask for directions from a cop to a nuclear weapons base in the 1980s!

- SPOCK NERVE PINCHING THE PUNK ON THE BUS LOL

- “No one pays attention to you unless you swear every other word.” WELL. Okay. I’m not offended. At all.

- Spock frowning at the whales dying on the screen

- “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.” There’s a lot of times you think ‘Vulcans can be emotionless which could equal cruelty’ but looking at this, humans with emotions turn out more cruel because that is an emotion. We want and are greedy. It’s surprising that Vulcans are friends with humans because of just how much illogical carnage we have wrought. Anyway.

- Hey Jim. Where’s Spock?

- Kirk becoming more and more worried that he can’t find Spock. And then he turns around AND HES IN THE TANK.. this is why McCoy wants to come along. Jim cannot watch him well enough

- Spock’s ass can’t believe he went in there to mind meld with the whales

- Sopping wet Spock

- “The hell they did.” SPOCK SWEAR OMG

- “Can’t you remember?” “The hell I can’t.” I love him so much, he’s being a little shit, this is on purpose. I think writers should let him say hell and other expletives more often

- “Oh come on, Bob! I don’t know about you, but my compassion for someone is not limited to my estimate of their intelligence.” DID YALL IN THE BACK HEAR THIS???

- Uhura and Chekov on the beach with the seagulls

- Gillian’s got a “I ❤️ whales” sticker on her truck. I love her.

- “I think he did a little to much LDS.” I think Kirk meant to say Spock does LSD? I’m assuming?

- This lady just picked up two husbands trying to save the whales.. that’s very lucky for her

- “Are you sure it isn’t time for a colourful metaphor.” LET SPOCK SAY FUCK

- “You guys like Italian?” Spock and Kirk proceeding to fight by saying no and yes repeatedly is my favourite

- They’re just letting Scotty and McCoy roam around???

- I love McCoy and Scotty improvising together, and Scotty going off and getting upset

- “May my assistant join us?” “Don’t bury yourself in the part.”

- Sulu just gets to nerd out about helicopters

- McCoy sitting on any and all surfaces like it’s a chair. Scotty joining him.

- McCoy handing Scotty the mouse like he’s so proud of himself

- McCoy’s got his ✨dazzling✨ eyes on rn

- “We’d be altering the future.” “Well, how do you know he didn’t invent the thing.” Scotty. That’s not how time travel works.

- So basically McCoy gets Jim and Spock out of trouble but gets into trouble when he’s with Scotty

- THEYRE JUST LEAVING SPOCK IN THE PARK oh wait he’s going to the ship

- Get yourself a partner who would cry over whales

- “I’m from Iowa, I only work in outer space.” This man smh

- Oh no. Get Chekov out of there. Holy shit.

- “Must be the radiation.” He proceeds to throw the phaser at the guy and then runs out the door

- Gillian not afraid to slap Bob over whales

- Did- did Sulu steal a helicopter? Yes. Yes he did.

- Gillian sees Spock with his ears and eyebrows and she’s like ‘yeah makes sense’

- “Admiral, may I suggest that Dr. McCoy is correct?” Spock agrees with McCoy. 208 dead, 15 injured

- Gillian is surrounded by the polycule. She just wants her whales to be safe.

- McCoy is literally the best. He saw this person suffering and then immediately helped

- “Uh, excuse me, we’ll take that.” They steal the gurney and Gillian immediately hops onto it. I love her.

- “This woman has immediate postprandial upper abdominal distension.” “What did you say she’s got?” “Cramps” McCoy saw the security and went ‘Yep they’re stupid’ he didn’t even bother with a proper lie

- In an argument between a 20th century doctor and McCoy, I would bet McCoy any and every time

- I love when McCoy is just.. appalled at old medicine

- Chekov slowly regaining awareness and he lifts his head only for Kirk to push his face down with a, ‘not now, Pavel.’

- I like how the crew right now have been using Chekov’s first name and are protective of him.

- Sulu immediately being there to help Chekov get back on the ship 🥺🥺🥺

- This woman is so into whales that she would time travel for them

- Is McCoy sitting on the console and leaning over it to talk to talk to Spock? Yes, yes he is.

- “Well, then you’re just gonna have to take your best shot.” “Best shot?” “Guess, Spock.” “Guessing is not in my nature, Doctor.” “Well, nobody’s perfect.” He lets that last line drawl and then stares at Spock for a little too long. That’s flirting.

- That was the most intense countdown. I felt like something might happen to the whales within those ten seconds and I was worried

- “So I will make a… guess.” McCoy is rubbing off on Spock

- “No, Spock. He [Kirk] means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people’s facts.” Hehe

- She was so happy just staring at her whales but then Kirk goes and interrupts that

- “I belong here, I am a whale biologist.” They are so lucky that they ran into someone THIS interested in whales

- McCoy resists the urge to just look at Spock when they’re travelling back to their time

- I like how there’s a hatch leading outside on the bridge… of a spaceship.

- forgot how hot Kirk’s poofy sleeves are

- They have a scene where everyone just gets absolutely drenched

- I’m so glad they didn’t have subtitles for the whales and probes. It’s more realistic for the universe. Starfleet doesn’t know what they’re saying, the crew doesn’t know what they’re saying, we shouldn’t know what they’re saying. It’s not how the universe works.

- They’re cheering for whales. I love when people cheer for things

- They’re all playing in the water omg this is adorable

- hi bitch (Sarek)

- Jim walks in with McCoy right behind him and Spock goes to join them from where he’s sitting

- I love Scotty’s little moustache it’s so :<

- McCoy is NOT listening, he’s got like nyan cat theme playing in his head

- THEY GAVE HIM COMMAND OF A STARSHIP FOR DISOBEYING ORDERS?!?

- I think McCoy should run up to Spock and Kirk and get them to kiss here

- Scott and Sulu arguing over which ship they think they’ll get <3

- McCoy is leaning so sluttily on the new bridge

The credits just showing pictures of each of the cast is adorable

See ya on the flip flop

Masterpost

#star trek #star trek iv: the voyage home #the voyage home #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #leonard bones mccoy #doctor mccoy #captain james kirk #james t kirk #uhura #nyota uhura #sulu #hikaru sulu #pavel chekov #montgomery scott #christine chapel #ambassador sarek #amanda grayson #saavik

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