#Sorry this is so very late and short
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A late birthday present for @telemna-hyelle !!
You're a lovely writer and I've been meaning to draw something for you for ages🥰 this story was so so sweet and soothed my soul❤️
#sorry this is so late!#idk why but this fanart fought me#EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE#I think I'm so used to whump my brain was short circuiting at drawing fluff lol#either way#this story was SO SWEET and I love the symbolism of irises!#they are my fave flower#dod you know blue irises symbolize faith and hope?#very fitting for this story❤️❤️#legend of zelda#loz#loz fanart#loz aol#adventures of link#loz link#loz zelda
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idk if you still draw merlin art that much BUT ,
i always headcanon arthur with long hair for historical accuracy . what do u think of it? what long hair would you give hin?
i’m bad at focusing on multiple things at once which is why i tend to only post art of one thing for a few months straight but trust me i think about merlin and all my other interests All The Time…. i am always up to talk about them!!!
anyways i know this probably isn’t the answer anyone wants but. historical accuracy be damned i like his hair short…… if i Had to have it longer id want it like that scruffy haircut they almost gave him in s4ish? if i remember? i love a disheveled looking man <3 im sure thats not at all what you meant by long hair though haha
consolation arthur sketch for me not being a long hair person:
#hope to get to my other asks soon ive just been. very tired lately haha i appreciate them very much though#anotherchaoticidiot#i still have so so so many merlin wips#ask#anyways im biased to giving characters short hair idk i#i really like s3/4 merlin’s really short hair i dont think he gets enough appreciation :(#i see people make fun of arthurs haircut a lot but truly i love a boring man short haircut im so sorry shfkg#there are so many other characters i see drawn with long hair all the time and its great however im so. i lovw short hair…………..#merlin
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long hair >>> (even tho it's hiding under the stupid cap….. pls take it off tomorrow bb)
#like i love his short hair but seeing the thickness and length in the back 🥺🥺 very cute#i have so much to say about the pics from today but i will stop myself#too late for all that#love to see him always smiling tho 😚#will be answering asks tomorrow !! sorry ive been rlly busy !!!!!#cars on track tomorrow aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#goodnight#pepe marti
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Final surprise boop attack for @yowassupitsred!!
Faeran would 100% be really obnoxious about Calamari, and would intentionally make others appreciate her boopings haha.
(Secret second boop attack to @starbiology in revenge to the april fools war because even though i didn't know if you had any characters, I think of her as your character by this point and I found this scenario hilarious in my mind)
#neopets#neotag#gelert#vin doods#vin memes#technically at least JKSHSJ#I'm so sorry for the late response!! I didn't want to basically leave u on nothing and I had had this sketch saved for a week by this point#nice gelert my dood had some fun drawing him hahaha#it was only appropiate to draw Faeran for this case#also yeah i just found out Schnellys are cross eyed forever its just a characteristic for them#anyways its very late for me i had a really rough day at the lab lmao#my back hurts so much but i needed to come home and finish this or i'd have gone mad by how late im doing this#also Star Im sorry if i drew her completely off i haven't practice humans in a while D:#ur blog was a great reference on how to draw her when canon images are just... yeah#also idk why i drew my dog so little he's not that short but oh well#she's on a pedestal idk#ok too much rambling i should probably stop writing so much on tags#but year that's just about it hope u like the images!! the boop war was really fun and i just needed to draw something to save that moment
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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hi!! just read your cake at the craft store fic and thought I'd introduce myself on here :) you're a talented writer and seem like a lovely person!
oh my gosh thank you so much! that's so sweet of you 🥰i'm so glad you enjoyed my work! (and thank you so much for the lovely comment on ao3!) also love your handles on both ao3 and here, i'm a big fan of herons myself 😊
#so sorry for the late response! i saw it n wanted to have the best response n then psyched myself out#and life's been kicking my butt however! i am finally here to say tysm and this was a very sweet ask :))#i am assuming that you are herons_and_spoonbills on ao3 this will be very embarrassing to me if you're not lol#but assuming so#re: your comment on 'do you wanna touch' about using neurodivergent tags on rpf fics#i def totally get why people don't use the nd tag on rpf bc you're right! it's def v different to write about real people than fictional#characters and everyone has different lines on how to portray these sorts of things in this genre of fic#and tbc i don't think that cake are nd irl#when i write 5sos fic the basis on irl 5sos is so slim that sometimes it's nearly nil lol#like some of my fics are more original fiction using 5sos' names & faces so as to be able to play in the sandbox genre that is fanfic#as apposed to short stories or flash fiction since these have v different rules in terms of what's acceptable in the medium#but yeah basically i understand why people may be hesitant to tag that sort of thing in 5sos fic lol#and i would love to hear about ur fav 5sos fics with nd themes! i need to get back into the 5sos fic scene tbh i've been absent for too lon#answering mail#ari/silver#do you have a preference on names btw?
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//I did it + a bonus doodle.
#//sorry for all the sketches lately it seems that's all the energy i have for these days#//anyways look! he's very cute with short hair#//and long hair#//honestly he's cute regardless fhndjgfnhgj#//not a big fan of the 2nd sketch but i kind of like the face so bweh#mocha's art
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You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.
#*text#talk about unpleasant#sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl#particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared#about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. ✌️#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an#for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy#i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain#but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.
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i am sorry if this is stupid but lucifer “singing” in the church to god was not him singing right? I genuinely at first understood it as him singing and the first time I thought worship is used in any sexual context is with Michael later once lucifer starts to create sin, im sorry if this is dumb but this has been stuck on my mind trying to understand especially because i wont lie i went through some mental stuff seeing thats how others perceived it. if this is true i would love to hear (if you are open) then why you chose these sequences of events
Hello! You're not dumb!!! This isn't a stupid question!! It's actually one I've been expecting for a bit now aha, so thank you for having the bravery to ask.
I'm gonna discuss that scene and then get a little broader if that's okay.
CW: discussion of SA, including that in the Bible
It's interesting people have interpreted the cathedral scene that way. A while ago, I said I'm a "dead author" person, so I don't think my convoluted intentions matter. And I still think that! I wouldn't write so metaphorically and vaguely if I weren't okay with interpretations – (not that I look at reviews, but I follow the ABM tag on most social media and sometimes things find me.) So I've seen some people upset by this scene, and it doesn't really bother me (until they insist on it and assume my intentions and think badly of me as a person.)
But if you want to know what I intended – no, I didn't write God appearing in the cathedral and sexually assaulting Lucifer. It's Lucifer singing and God telling him to continue. That's what I wrote. But I know the language I used, and I know the parallels I was drawing.
Here's the thing – ABM follows Lucifer struggling to have some sort of autonomy over his body. In the cathedral, he's having it be violated. He wants to stop singing, God won't let him. Is this scene rape? I guess it depends on what your definition of what rape is. I don't want to be philosophical and annoying, but well, I'm serious. To me, the scene is about a will being imposed on Lucifer, about his body being used in a way he doesn't want.
(On that note, worship always had a sexuality to it. This doesn't mean worship was performing sexual favors, (definitely not what I intend to imply), but just that there's always been something sexual about the practice of complete submission and praise. I remember wondering what God derived from being worshipped all day by angels, as the Bible seems to say. Did he get pleasure from it? It almost felt fetishistic to me.)
And God does "actually" assault Lucifer, later. In Eden, the last sentences of Chapter 29. (I'll save the "what does sex even mean in this book" post for another day). A part of me wants to apologize because that's upsetting, but it's supposed to be upsetting. This book is supposed to be upsetting. And I'm not just saying that because it's my trauma dump book haha. Sometimes books are uncomfortable and ugly.
But why would I write something this awful and (allegedly) blasphemous? Maybe I'm trying to say something about authorities in the Church and impressionable young people, maybe I'm trying to say something about Christianity and bodily autonomy, maybe it's about me and conversion therapy. Who cares about my intentions.
But I want to share a Bible story that I discovered a little before I wrote ABM. I was reading Ezekiel 28, this passage a lot of Christians associate with Lucifer, the epigraph of ABM:
Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you... Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV)
In Ezekiel 28, God addresses the fallen cherub angel, who had been in Eden, who had been adorned with every precious stone, who had been perfect in beauty and wisdom. He's angry the cherub became proud on account of his beauty.
I started reading the rest of Ezekiel, which I'd done before but never closely. I found Ezekiel 16.
In Ezekiel 16, God tells the story of Jerusalem, who is personified. First, he sees her as an infant, and, in God's own words: "I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked." He comes by her again, later, then decides she's "old enough for love" and clothes her. He adorns her, in jewelry. He says she becomes beautiful. He says, "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect."
But then, God says, Jerusalem, "you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his." It doesn't say who his is. "You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty."
In punishment, God decides, "I will deliver you into the hands of your lovers, and they will tear down your mounds and destroy your lofty shrines. They will strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry and leave you stark naked. They will bring a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with their swords."
(In ABM, God says "Shall I deliver you to the hands of the angels, so that they strip you of your clothes, jewelry, and leave you without flesh? Shall I command a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with swords?”)
In Jeremiah 13, God addresses Jerusalem again. He says, first, "I will weep in secret because of your pride." Then, he gets angry and says: "Because you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. I will pull up your skirts over your face–"
I remember being really fascinated by this Jerusalem, who God seemed to have groomed, who became proud on account of her beauty, who went on to love someone else, who God decided had to be hurt by everyone, who God eventually assaulted.
#short answer: its not true#long answer: click the Keep Reading ahsjd;sd#i wasnt trying to be shocking or anything with what i wrote#im being so sincere about things asgkdhddk#but yes people r right to be uncomfortable#youre supposed to be!#its a very ugly guttural feeling for me#but there's catharsis in the release#sorry for answering so late#mine#ask#angels before man#reblog in tha mornin probably
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Once again missing a brainstorm buddy on my same wavelength, because bouncing ideas at the wall like I'm playing squash doesn't really work with the idea I had yesterday. It gives me way too much freedom for my own good, so much that there are just at least 2-3 cool options for each decision I could take, but I gotta pick only one each and there's no clear winner T_T Oh the curse of having too many good ideas :')
#Skye says stuff#like I got the general vibe down but I'm VERY torn on so many things it's not even funny#gnawing at this whole thing like a hyena gnaws at a bone to get to the juicy bits#also we desperately need some more asura faces and fem hairstyles that are short/scruffy. I can't even make that comm in-game smh#btw sorry for complaining about this a lot lately. y'all being nice in general is more than I could ever ask for after that bs#it's just a rollercoaster sometimes cuz I'm doing fine on my own but then I get complex feelings about bad experiences and ex-buddies#my brain just doesn't expect to find THAT sort of “in each other's mind” connection again. that's okay. just annoying when needed y'know?
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hi ....
#SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING SO MUCH LATELY </3#wrote some little things while i was gone ...#just thoughts of boys being in love ...#they're very short though !#MIGHTTT post them#keyword: might#heh ..#🐰 : miro talks
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Title!
there was teeth in their kiss
Okay so I won't lie, this one really got away from me. I had like three different ideas and I was like "I'll just write a really short scene for all of them!!" only for the "really short scenes" to get... progressively longer. Oops?
I have two Lizardverse fics and one TMA (JE) fic. Because I don't want my Lizardverse stuff showing up in the JE tag and it's also The Longest One, so you can check the notes of this post to read it.
Also gonna be real I wrote these at ass-o-clock at night and Did Not Edit them, so.......
Oh shoot wait warnings! They only apply to the second one (you can stop reading at (Amaldyne)).
Body horror/mouth horror (mild?)
Non-consensual touching (non-sexual/non-romantic, but I figured I should still warn for it just in case)
(Send me a fic title!)
(Important Lizardverse Context (TM): The Overseer is a creature called a Grotle (think ankylosaurus but bigger, spikier, and omnivorous). He's also a very dangerous necromancer. His real name is Mihzarch (pronounced Miz-ark), and these are used somewhat interchangeably. Leoshgon wields a sword called the Godslayer sword. It's a very deadly semi-sentient sword that's bonded to his soul. He's also a Noctar (a much smaller, fuzzier mammal species.))
(Leoshgon) The Overseer liked to put his teeth to Leoshgon's throat. It happened in the night, mostly, when Leo was curled against Mihzarch's heavily plated body, throat bared in offering for the Overseer to do as he would. He was always very gentle, of course, and very careful. As if Leo was a priceless, fragile heirloom, not the most dangerous weapon in the world. But there was a pressure there, and Leo could feel the shape of the teeth even through his mane: the wide, shearing ones in the back; the broad conical incisors in the front, wet with saliva and dreadfully cold. The puff of chilled breath sent shivers down Leo's spine. Leo wasn't sure he liked the sensation, really. It was uncomfortably damp, for one, and also sort of boring to be held in place for so long (aside from that brief spike of fear, which really wasn't fair to Mihzarch at all, because the Godslayer Sword was the real danger here, but- that wasn't the point anyway). But he always bared his neck willingly. And when those massive jaws closed so sweetly around his throat, he leaned into it. And then Mihzarch would let out a happy rumble that sang through Leoshgon's entire body, and all would be well.
(Important Lizardverse Context (TM): Amaldyne is currently a (semi) unwilling servant of the ever-starving god of hunger. Eityr is weirdo freak bestie who want her to become as powerful as possible. Their relationship is. Uh. Weird. Amaldyne is a dragon becoming something More, Eityr is a Noctar)
(Amaldyne) "Show me." Amaldyne didn't look up when Eityr entered the room, nor did she turn to face her. In fact, she did not acknowledge Eityr's presence in any way at all. No matter. Eityr would not be so easily dissauded. Amaldyne's desk was strewn about with massive tomes and piles of documents and about a dozen bits of charcoal. It was as if some great beast of parchment had been savaged and slain atop it, and Amaldyne was trying to read the future in its bones. With a flick of her wrist and a stretch of her power, Eityr relocated them all to the floor, then hopped up onto the now-cleared metal. Amaldyne slowly raised her head to look at her with exhausted irritation written plainly all over her snout. "I want to see," Eityr said, "so show me." "Show you what?" the words were accompanied by a hiss of displeasure, but Amaldyne's wings remained loose and relaxed by her side. Unhappy, but willing to indulge. Were it anyone else, Eityr would find that infuriating. "Something happened, didn't it? There's something-" 'wrong' wasn't the right word. Whatever it was, it must surely be the opposite of 'wrong,' but Eityr struggled to think of an alternate descriptor. "Something happened to you, and I want to see it. Show me." Amaldyne nudged her down off the desk. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Eityr, and I don't have time to engage your every childish whim either, so please-" Sick of waiting and on a whim, Eityr grabbed at Amaldyne's lower jaw and yanked downwards. It split right down the middle, and the insides were coated with teeth that had not been there only a moment ago. Amaldyne let out a proper snarl then, shock intermingled with an animalistic rage. Her tail was poised to strike, stinger gleaming in the low light. But the tell-tale glow of dragonsflame never touched her throat, and so Eityr felt comfortable in running a paw along the seam where Amaldyne's mouth had split. No venomous fangs sank into her fur and no bite crushed the strength from her writs. Of course not. Amaldyne had always been content to let Eityr do as she would, why should this be any different? After a moment, Amaldyne pulled away. Her jaw clicked back together, and she watched Eityr through slitted, appraising eyes. "Satisfied?" She asked? Eityr saw no reason to lie. "No."
#i wasn't sure if you had a fandom preference?#i figured probably tma since that's just about all i post about but i saw 'teeth' and 'kiss'#and i just couldn't resist making it about my favorite little lizards#also i'm sorry if their scenes don't make much sense#i tried to give enough info to make stuff clear but i've been marinating in lizardverse for years by now#so idk how confusing this is to people who can't read my mind#i am. so tired. my ability to be articulate ain't doin so hot rn if i'm being honest#the problem was i went 'oh! i can stay up late to finish these Very Short Scenes instead of going to bed at a normal time!!'#and then i couldn't. so the je one was written today#but anyway thank you for the ask!! i really enjoyed writing this actually!#asks#ask game#lizardverse#the lizard crew#amaldyne rotwing#amaldyne#eityr#eityr reksha#leoshgon#leoshgon varmillius#the overseer#leoshgon/the overseer#eityr&amaldyne#i hope you don't mind me making this about my silly little ocs. i'm so soft for them i had to include them.#sparkwrites#body horror#body horror tw#tw body horror#i feel like i'm forgetting something? it's probably fine#oh i remember now! so from the overseer's pov he's holding something even more dangerous than him in its mouth
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Sorry for the inactivity! I slept in super late and had to go in for my first shift at my new job! Now I'm relaxing in bed, drained, after having not worked for 2 months. So I haven't been able to do much in terms of drawing Slugcats or any other personal art. In the coming days, once I'm back in the job groove, I will start getting more active!
#Life Update#Got a job!#It's at Mcdonalds tho but- I GOT A JOB!#Got trained on Drive thru while my 3 years of Mcdonalds Kitchen Experience got tossed aside#Nearly had 3 panic attacks#Got a very late and short break#But hey I got to make my own food for my break!#So I touched the kitchen atleast ONCE.#Sorry for ranting in the tags#My trainer was nice though :D
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(Tw: kinda transphobia? Use of it/its for a character who hasn’t declared what their pronouns are yet. Arguments over whether a character is a person or not; that ties into the pronoun thing here. Bonus points for descriptions of canon-typical gore yipeeee)
An update from after writing this: oh this. Got. This one got away from me?? I think I started this at 4 minutes past the hour. It is now 43 minutes past the hour. shitt.
Update; it is now 17 minutes after the NEXT hour. 26 minutes after th last update. I have seen god in the past hour and she shook in fear of both my power and audacity. I have lunch with my family scheduled in like 6 hours and I have not yet slept. This wasn’t meant to be as long as it is but I was possessed and this is the result. I may edit it and make it smoother later but I’ll make that a separate post, I want this sleep-deprived chunk of words to be here as like a monument to the fact that I could have been playing stardew valley during this time but I chose to do this instead
TLDR: long ass story ahead written by a sleep-deprived and hyperfixation-driven author. Who is now going the fuck to BED
“We can’t just keep it! What if it has a tracking device? It won’t let us fucking touch it so there’s no way of knowing it has one unless it leads them right to us!”
“Ok, I hear you but think. That hasn’t happened yet. It’s been about what, three days? and that hasn’t happened, and they haven’t been violent towards any of us at all. They haven’t tried to go back either, so there’s no risk of them telling or leading Showfall where we are.”
“Why do you keep calling it ‘they’?”
“Well they can’t be an “it” now can it? …wait.”
“Ok can we figure out the gender of the thing in the other room after we figure out if it’s a threat to us or not. It’s not even a fucking person, you remember what those things did to you back there, don’t you?”
“Those people were not themselves, they were just doing what he wanted them to do—“
“They’re not fucking people! Those things are all part of Showfall, just like Hetch was! It’s just waiting for the right time to turn us in, or pull some shit on one of us like they did before.”
“They weren’t… they weren’t in control.”
“Yeah like fuck they weren’t, I saw it fucking happen!”
“You can’t just… Ok. Sneeg. Stop. You don’t speak for me, the one who, oh I don’t know, was the one that shit happened to? They were being controlled just like us—“
“No, no, not like us. We were wandering around and not knowing what the fuck was happening. None of us knew what was happening. We just went along blindly. Those things—on purpose—dragged you to that stupid wall and sewed wires into your hands—“
“Shut up, Sneeg—“
“No you shut up! You didn’t see it fucking happen! I saw them and Bitchface literally hold you down until you passed out! They were fucking choking you, they fucking—they nearly fucking killed you with just their hands, that’s not a little suggestion in the back of your brain, that’s on purpose! That is fucking deliberate, that is a thing those machines chose to do! You don’t remember, you weren’t conscious when they fucking stapled you to the wall and strapped your head in—“
Sneeg glanced at Ranboo for a moment in-between pacing as he ranted, and the far away look in their sibling’s eyes shut them up immediately. Ranboo was still present, thank fuck, but they were looking at their brother like he was holding up a knife to their throat.
“Fuck, Ran, okay, okay—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shit. Do you need Charlie?”
“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”
“…okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Do you need me to get Charlie?”
“No, I’m fucking fine.” It did not sound like he meant that at all. His voice was less steady than before. “I don’t want him to worry about our… hitchhiker. He’s worrying enough about… well, everything.”
“The fact that it’s here, so close to us is the reason I’m trying to get you to see, Ran. What if it turns on him? What if it does that shit to him when we aren’t there?”
“We will be there.”
“And when it tries anything, we can kill it?”
“Sneeg!”
“You wouldn’t kill it, even if it hurt our fucking brother?”
“Of course we wouldn’t keep them around if they did that, could we at least just… just leave it behind? …wait, no, they couldn’t take care of themselves. If we had to leave it behind, maybe we should…”
Silence lingered for a bit too long.
“We should what, Ran?”
“…Sneeg, I was about to say that killing it would be a mercy.” The Hero laughed. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”
The Taken didn’t reply.
“We have to help them. I don’t… I don’t want to be on the other end of a mercy killing. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”
“Okay. I’m—are you okay?”
“…m fine. It’s fine. Just. Can you stop acting like they’re any different from us? Please.”
“What do you want me to think then?” His voice was softer than it had been a few minutes before.
“Just assume that they… that they were someone. Just like we were before. And they didn’t… they didn’t do anything on their own, it was all Showfall.”
“Okay. Fine. Let’s assume they were controlled, they didn’t mean to, so on and so forth. Why haven’t they talked yet.”
“I don’t think any of the drones even could talk. Wait, should we really be calling them a drone—“
“Shut the fuck up, Ranboo, we have got to figure out what to do with it. It probably doesn’t even know what is happening, what the fuck does it matter what we call it.”
“It matters to me! Do you want me to call you by your title? Do you want to call me by mine? …No? Then why are we treating them like all they are is what Showfall made them? We had lives before, we were someone, so they must have been too. They might not realize it, or… or act like it, but they used to be someone. They are a whole person, Sneeg. We have to help them, we can’t just leave them behind because that would mean we are giving up on someone just like us, and we cannot give up on each other. They… they would have hurt us by now if they were going to. And Showfall hasn’t found us since… you know, which means there aren’t any more trackers.
…okay, Sneeg?”
“…okay. If it,” he sighed at the look Ran gave them, “if they try anything, we have to leave them behind. I’m not letting a dumbass puppet be the reason we get taken back.”
“If they—ok, whatever, you’re not understanding. You can’t say one of us somehow wanted to be controlled, and they’re a ‘puppet’ but those rules don’t apply to the rest of us—“
“There is not an ‘us,’ Ran! That thing isn’t like us!”
“Guys?”
A sleepy voice shut the two of them up instantly. They had a split-second conversation with their eyes before looking to their brother. ‘We aren’t done talking about this’ ‘You’e absolutely right, so later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘We’re telling Charlie nothing happened?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Ok good plan.’
“Why are you two fighting? I’m tired, can we please go back to sleep?”
“We weren’t fighting, we were…”
“…talking about plans for tomorrow. And you can go back to sleep.”
“I don’t want to be by myself.” Charlie looked at Sneeg pointedly, who sighed to Ranboo with a playfully annoyed expression.
“Well I guess I gotta go be a teddy bear again.”
“Have fun”
“Absolutely not.”
Charlie punched Sneeg in the shoulder lightly for that, who just giggled in response and led his little brother back to their room.
Which left Ran by themselves.
Some nights, he would join them, but some nights Charlie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Ran, and the three of them had made a silent mutual agreement that Charlie trusted Sneeg more than he did Ranboo.
…Ranboo was okay with this. He wasn’t hurt by it. He didn’t cry on the nights he slept by himself.
He didn’t wish he could be the one Sneeg comforted sometimes. They were just fine.
They were fine, which is why they went to the living room where their… well. Their hitchhiker? They weren’t exactly a brother, or a sibling, more like a fourth wheel on a tricycle. Or a flyaway hair. Okay, maybe Ranboo needed to get tbr fuck to sleep, alone or not.
But he found himself in the living room, where their hitchhiker slept. Or, didn’t sleep, as they seemed to not need to. They would sit on the couch and stare idly at the tv. That was what had started the whole conversation with Sneeg in the first place; Ran wanted to leave some kind of entertainment for the fourth person so they wouldn’t be made to sit in the dark for hours. Sneeg took this remark as a perfect opportunity to explain all the reasons why the former drone should be abandoned, but Ranboo would have fucking none of it. Maybe the couch potato (shit, he really needed to come up with a name for them—) didn’t seem to sleep, barely ate, and stayed still unless actually verbally told to move, but they were still a person. Ranboo was sure of it.
Their hand wandered up to the fresh scabs where their mask had been. The fourth person had a mask, one that hadn’t been touched. Despite usually staying still, the person—(Ranboo thinks they might just call this person Couch for now. Maybe it’s not accurate, and they’re tired, but it’s something. C, for short.)
C would back away any time the others would try to get near them. And they did in fact try, but despite how creative or sneaky they got, C always ducked away. It reminded Ranboo of the drone who had followed them with a camera, always one step away and never letting the Hero get too close.
The mask turned to Ranboo, who stared back quietly. C hadn’t talked at all, so Ranboo didn’t expect them to suddenly start now. He wasn’t even sure if they understood what was said to them, but Ranboo wanted to try anyways. Better to be polite.
“Do you like the show that’s on? I think it’s called Lucy, or something. I don’t know, Sneeg said it was funny. And it didn’t seem, uh- scary or anything.”
The mask didn’t speak.
“If you want to change it, the remote’s right there, um, I showed you how to use it before. And there’s like, instructions drawn on there. You can thank Charlie for that one.”
…
“I think I’m going to head to bed.”
…
“Fuck it, can I stay here?”
The mask still didn’t speak, but the head hidden behind it tilted a bit at the sudden change in tone. Ranboo took this as an absolute win.
“So I just. I don’t want to be by myself. And I don’t think you sleep, I mean if you just sleep when everyone else is asleep that’s cool, but also if so how do you even? function? on that much sleep? It really isn’t that much but to be fair you don’t do much so maybe you don’t need it. …do you sleep sitting up? And just somehow wake up when we get close? I know, um. Sorry about that, again, we were just worried your mask had a tracker like mine used to.”
Ran laughed nervously. “I think I did convince them that it doesn’t, so that should stop now. If um. If we make you uncomfortable you still don’t have to be touched, it’s, it’s fine.”
Other than the head tilt before, there wasn’t a reply.
“Okay, since. You can’t talk, I’m just gonna… I’ll sit down beside you. On the couch. And if you don’t want me to be that close you can uh- you can leave. Or like, get up, and then I’ll leave. This is the only room with a tv, so I’ll let you stay here, but I can’t tell if you want me to be here or not, so. Okay, sorry, I’m rambling. Just… move if you want me to leave, okay?”
Ranboo waited for a response that didn’t come, then sighed. “Okay.” He kept his hands up and open while sitting down, waiting for a few moments before tucking his feet under himself to get more comfortable. “I’m just gonna stay here, okay? Like I said, just move if you want me to leave.”
The mask had tracked them to where they sat now, but the person—C—didn’t make a move to leave. Ranboo turned their attention to the tv, keeping an eye on their couch partner in their peripheral vision. During a moment of audience laughter in the show—I Love Lucy, they remembered—C turned their head back to the television as they had been before Ranboo walked in.
Seeing as how C (they needed a better name than that—) didn’t speak, this was the closest Ranboo could get to being told “you can stay here.” So they did. A few episodes later, his head was on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.
Five turned its attention to the Hero, who was now asleep. He had said it was a person, which was almost hilarious. And the Taken and the Hero seemed to think it couldn’t talk? They had to know it needed to be given permission first: any handler of a Drone or Prop knew that basic rule. It would wait until permission was given: it knew how to obey. It wasn’t meant to speak to a superior unless it was told it was allowed. It would wait.
…in the meantime, it studied its handler, the Hero. The other Actors, their two other handlers, called him ‘Ranboo’ but Five knew that wasn’t his actual label. The Hero was his character in the last show, and so that is who he was. Five didn’t know if Actors had a number, but he had been called the Hero in the script, and so the Hero he will be until the script changes.
It hoped to get new instructions, a new script for itself, something, soon. It was tired of simply watching the Actors go about their incredibly off-script show. It was sometimes told to participate, and since no other superiors were nearby, it had to obey its current handlers. But it was told to participate, to stir eggs, to help clean the kitchen, to attack small webs in corners with a stick with soft spikes on the end. Those sorts of things weren’t it’s usual directive, and so it found itself…
It didn’t resent its handlers. They were doing their best, and they at least knew that they were meant to give it orders. It simply wished they were familiar orders. It wished the Hero had told it to play dead, or play chase, or play camera, or caught, or prop. It would even listen if it was told to power down until needed. At least then it wouldn’t have to be conscious in this boring and unfamiliar set.
.
Y EA I know they probably don’t like tvs. Shhhhhh. I didn’t think about that until like. I had already written the tv part. At this moment it is 55 minutes past th hour and I want these characters to go the fuck to sleep so I can go thr fuck to sleep /lh
And yeah Five only uses “he” for glran. That is intentional. It’ll be talked about and shit later. Something about being put into a role, something about showfall being transphobic, something something I want to go to bed
Powering down = “sleeping” for a drone. Different but similar. I’ll explain how it works later?, anyway The others hav e told Five to “sleep” but it doesn’t understand because it is only ever told to “power down” so it’s like error.sleep_not_found and it stares at them like “bitch you said the wrong. Thing. You’re supposed to know how to control me so you don’t want me to power down I fucking guess” and it’s gonna be really funny after that miscommunication is taken care of.
If you remember the Five Gets A Cold And Wants To Throw Hands With Everyone post, this is wayyy before that. These motherfuckers are fresh out of showfall. Don’t ask how they got a house. I’ll figure it out
I am! Tired! I’m not proofreading this!! Goodnight please give me your thoughts if you have them. I need to know I didn’t sacrifice tbis much sleep in vain /nf /lh (I appreciate words but you are Not required to give them. Love you have a good nigt/p)
#five the genloss blorbo#let’s not talk about how many tries it took me to spell unobserved. let’s simplynot#update like 5 years into me writing this: i also cannot spell the word peepohe it would seem#that. that was meant to be the word People. you can see m#h my point stands#it is late as fuck yet I Have to make this. it has to exist so I must make it exist#I’m hamilton writing like I’m running out of time but I’m writing g#writing 51 essays in which assorted characters get the physical and/or emotional shit beaten out of them#and me running out of time is running out of sleepy. I am a sleep y man#take a break and get away says my pillow. I am Hamilton my pillow is upstate and this goddam mess of a short story I am trying to write is M#this story is Mariah Reyndolds leading me to her bed .#I haven’t slept in a while and I’m hyperfixationed on Hamilton so that metaphor makes. 0 sense#if you’re reading this far I’m so sorry. have a cookie! and fun fact an old lady held my hand and s#she said my (Very Androgynous!!) haircut is perfect. she used those words#i almost cried right then and there. genuine compliments from people make my fucking day . ok I need to go back to editing thisthing now#I wrote it. changed a plot point. started to rewrite it. changed ANOTHER plot point#so now I’ve got several s#several layers of Oh Shit I have to untangle#im. making my own goddam escape au apparently????? it won’t make any fucking sense but I will explain it later.#and! feel free to ask questions!’ and tell me if it make’s absolutely 0 sense#I do in fact want to be able to tell the story in a way you will understand. so ask questions! give a feedback! /gen /pos#I accidentally. deleted a tag so whatever I was going to say is fucking gone now. oh I think I memerbr#they are out of character ye. I’m sleepy and I’m making their escape au up as I go.#so far I have 1) the box scene was somehow Worse#2) they kidnapped Five (yippee!)#3) Charlie is the most traumatized out of the three. I don’t. I don’t know why.#I think that’s mostly because I didn’t feel like writing a conversation between Three characters. so my brain was like this :#why isn’t Charlie here? sleeping. why are these two not including him in conversation? protectiveness.#why protectiveness? he is the most upset out of the three of them and the other two have basically taken up the caretaker role. great plan#great plan hit the showers. I have reached. max tags. shit oh well back to writing tumblr says so!
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Yu Ijin: I've only had my sister for a day and a half but if anything happened to her I will destroy everyone in this school and then myself. Fantastic in just the first few chapters, thanks for the recommendation!
oh it’s so good!!! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!!
I need to reread that one again, I binged the whole thing over a few days ago month or so ago and I wanna see ijin and his sister again I love them
#I just took my licensing exams last week so until I hear if I passed or not I’m gonna hopefully start catching up on things#unfortunately I have not made any lists so I have no idea what I wanted to read/watch#got home from my exam and just laid on my bed for a while then watched like three pilot episodes to random things that popped up on Netflix#in the meantime I’m rewatching fruits basket yet again#twas the first anime I ever saw so it’s sentimental#also I love tohru she’s so kind I wanted to be like her when I was younger first watching#anyway this is very much off track from the original post sorry#it is late and I have zero filters when sleep deprived#but yes#I’m glad you enjoy it!!#long story short I think I’ll reread teenage mercenary sometime soon#haven’t used my tag for a while so let’s throw it on just for fun#sup nerds#sometimes I wish I came up with something more clever#but that’s a ramble for another day I need to sleep#congrats if you made it this far down the tag ramble#I hope you have a great day/night/weekend/life!
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