phcking-detective

[phcking-detective]

as a masochist it is your duty to make sadists feel comfortable expressing their desire to hurt people. if im allowed to say "i should be getting cut open and have my organs fondled bloodystyle" sadists should be able to say "i should be cutting someone open and fondling their organs bloodystyle". SADISTS GET BEHIND ME. i Will protect you

[phcking-detective]

[phcking-detective]

“All moans of pleasure, which can be problematic as they can sometimes be associated with pain or discomfort, will be replaced with enthusiastic yippees to keep the tone consensual” -CaitVi kinktober account probably

[phcking-detective]

eppy

[phcking-detective]

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

[phcking-detective]

i couldn’t date a surgeon cause i’d get jealous :/ why are you touching other people’s organs

[phcking-detective]

[phcking-detective]

okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING

[phcking-detective]

nasty faggotses........

WHYY IS HOMOPHOBIC SMEAGOL IN MY INBOX

[phcking-detective]

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

[phcking-detective]

we saw you from across the bar and you looked really anxious. can you tell us five things you can see, four things you can hear. okay good, we’re glad you’re okay. do you wanna come home with us and have a threesome?

[phcking-detective]

Kung Fu Hustle (2004) dir. Stephen Chow

[phcking-detective]

So in the break room at work we have a mason jar we all put spare change in, and then we collect it and use it to get basic things like ketchup, mustard, a loaf of bread, ect ect. We keep a list of stuff on the fridge

This is important only because someone did the collection and ran to the store and picked up the tub of butter that someone listed, among the other stuff. Which is fine. But instead of writing 'for everyone' on it like we usually do with this stuff , for some reason he labeled it 'Free Use'

And I'm staring here looking at this tub of butter as I go to get my sandwich like

[phcking-detective]

What is a knight but a dog? Follows you around. Does tricks when you tell it to. Protects you and keeps you safe and bares its teeth (draws its sword) at anyone that dares approach you. Looks good being dragged around on a leash for your amusement. Etc.

[phcking-detective]