#So yanno. Eventually

[mortuarywriting]

I needed to get this out 'cause I've been chewing on it for a few days now but couldn't word so hot.

So have a snippet of the self indulgent project

You looked down at the man sitting on your couch, "d'you want me to bring this up now or when your friends leave?"

His brow furrows, "what's it about?"

"You told me if you forgot to-"

"Oh fuckin hell-"

"- do the one thing you had on your to-do list before you left for me to badger you."

A long, begrudging sigh, "yes."

"And did you do it."

"No."

"Okay. Do you want to do this now or later?"

He leaned back, putting his drink down and crossing his arms, "do your worst."

You nod, nudging a leg so he stopped manspreading enough for you to sit just on the edge of his knees, ignoring how his brow raised as you put your hands on his shoulders, "you acknowledge that if you stand up to try to walk away from this I'll fall and crack my head open on the coffee table, yes? Making a giant mess you'd have to clean up? If not hide a body," he gives a grunt you take for assent, "good. Do you accept the terms and conditions?"

"'M waitin' doll."

"Alright, as you wish," you move one hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek, making direct eye contact as you begin, "you have value beyond what you can do for other people or your country, people legitimately enjoy being around you."

You watch in glee as his eyes widen, realizing what exactly he just let himself get roped into, "wait-"

You don't let the mirth show on your face as you continue with a matter-of-fact tone, "you have more patience than you let people think and that's a commendable skill- no it is not just a work requirement do not try that excuse with me. That's better. You listen well- no not just to orders close your mouth there's no deflecting from this- you actually listen not just hearing. You listen to me ramble about the dumbest shit. You have excellent suggestions and a good perspective when someone needs to take a step back. Despite what you may think, if you didn't have redeeming qualities outside of your job the FC wouldn't like you. They love you- don't even try to deny it- they're all excited for you to bring Fish back around. You're funny and I love exchanging the worst jokes known to man and several known only to dolphin with you. Need I say more?"

"Rather you didn't."

"For that I'm adding you have beautiful eyes and a wonderful ass," and on that note you patted his cheek and slid off his lap to stand up, "anyway per your request it's still on your list, I did run out and pick up more of your bodywash and got you a new shampoo and conditioner. They're all separate this time it's great you should try it. While you figure out how that works I'm gonna toss your biohazard of a mission outfit into the wash. If I'm not back in 10 send for a priest they probably gained sentience and ate me. I expect you to avenge me if that's the case."

[mars-ipan]

looks at you . realllyyyyy hard.............. hey................ can u tell me more about sinner hajime bearding w. chiaki and his shame over it im thinking about it and how it affects him real bad.. r they dating married.. r they just a random fling i need to know the deets i need the DEETS!!!!!!!!! sits down

OK SO. i have NOT spent a lot of time on this so bear with me bc i’m mostly figuring this part out as i go. it’s going under a cut tho bc i know myself

ok. to start with. chiaki is one of the first people hajime meets when he moves in— they’re neighbors and in true midwestern fashion she brings him a casserole as a welcome gift. from there they become fast friends! i think, like most people in town, chiaki goes to church on sundays, but she isn’t there often outside of that. she’ll show up to events and volunteer from time to time, though! maybe she occasionally helps at sunday school. maybe it’s her that gets hajime thinking about trying to confess in the first place! she’d never pressure him into going or imply that he had any particular sins to confess, but i think hearing someone he trusts speak highly of the priest there would get him thinking.

anywho. chiaki ends up introducing hajime to a few of her friends, though he doesn’t really connect with them too deeply. they all get along nicely though, and while hajime does have his Guilt following him at all times he feels a bit better after he hangs out with her and her friends— takes his mind off of things for a bit. she has a rabbit named usami, too! she reminds hajime of some of the animals he helped raise on the farm back home. but hajime and chiaki end up basically being besties not long after hajime’s moved in. chiaki eventually develops feelings for hajime, and since she trusts him to be kind regardless of whether he reciprocates, she tells him almost right away. hajime is ecstatic— this is an opportunity! a girl, a nice girl who likes him. if there was any girl that hajime could fall in love with, it’d be her. and if he loves her, then he won’t have any of these other thoughts! he won’t be wondering what his priest looks like under the robes if he has a girlfriend— it’s perfect! so he says yes, and they begin to date.

hajime tells Father Komaeda basically immediately— he’s excited! look, Father, your teachings are working! i’m in a heterosexual relationship, this is what God wants! except…. komaeda isn’t as enthusiastic as hajime expects. supportive, absolutely, his smile as bright as ever, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. he doesn’t celebrate. he tells hajime he’s happy for him— chiaki’s a lovely girl, after all— but reminds him that resisting temptation is not a one and done battle. going out with chiaki is a step in the right direction, absolutely. however, he warns, hajime shouldn’t be too surprised if he finds himself struggling to shake away his impure thoughts. these things don’t disappear overnight. in fact, they should continue their lessons to help make sure that hajime can stay on this path to the light. hajime agrees immediately, thanking komaeda for his wisdom. still, though, he feels positive about this! having someone else to focus on will make leaving behind these unwanted lusts much easier.

except… hajime can’t make himself want her, not in that way. he tries. god, he tries. he loves chiaki, truly he does, but he doesn’t feel as fuzzy as he thinks he should when he holds her hand. kissing her feels like kissing a wall. he freezes up uncomfortably every time she tries to initiate anything further, and, saint that she is, she backs off every time without any hard feelings. he enjoys spending time with her, and holding her, but he’s not… he can’t get himself to desire her. not to mention, the impure desires haven’t gone away, not at all. they’re just as bad as they were before— in fact, they seem to slowly be getting worse. he doesn’t know what to do. hajime cares about chiaki, so much, and he doesn’t want to hurt her. she’s his best friend, and the last thing he wants to do is break her heart. plus, if he breaks up with her, then isn’t that like admitting defeat to his sins? like saying he can’t overcome them? and if he breaks up with her, what does he even say? that he can’t bring himself to be attracted to her? that he’s never been able to think of her in that way, only with… no. there’s no way he can tell her that, she’ll be disgusted. but he hates the idea of lying to her and stringing her along. his only option is to keep trying. he’ll be a better boyfriend, he’ll fall in love, he has to. she deserves someone who loves her, and maybe he can be that someone, if he just keeps trying.

hajime confesses all of this to Father Komaeda, of course, who hears all of it and simply nods. while he agrees that hajime should keep the true nature of his thoughts from her, he also subtly suggests that hajime break off the relationship if he’s not in love with her— lying is a sin, too, and true, holy love cannot be forced into being. perhaps they’re simply better off as friends?

hajime thinks about that advice, but he can’t bring himself to do it. he doesn’t want to hurt her, and he especially doesn’t want to lose her.

here’s the thing. chiaki is observant. she’s just that kind of person, she’s a good judge of emotion. she can tell that hajime seems uncomfortable showing affection to her, even if he’s trying. at first, she chalks it up to nerves, but when it doesn’t go away and almost seems to get worse, she starts to wonder what’s wrong, why he doesn’t seem to be that into her. so she looks a little closer. she notices that hajime prays a lot more often now than when he first moved in. she hears him mumble to himself when he thinks she isn’t listening, things about being wrong and having to try harder, having to be better. she knew from the start that hajime has some deep insecurities— he’s not very good at hiding it— but it’s worse than she thought. hajime’s been going to church near-daily now, and when she goes with him to mass on sundays she sees the way he watches the sermon, almost enraptured. she knows he gets along well with Father Komaeda— in fact, she’d consider them close friends. eventually, she notices things— hajime blushes with his whole face… when Father Komaeda is close to him. he sings the Father’s praises regularly, often thanking chiaki for telling him about the church so he could find his faith again. in moments of vulnerability, hajime has told her that he confesses somewhat frequently— what about, he never told her, but he assured her that he hadn’t hurt anybody so she never pressed him about it. the pieces click into place, and oh… oh, hajime.

unlike hajime, chiaki has nothing against homosexuality. she believes that god’s love comes in many forms, and so long as the people in a relationship truly love each other, then it doesn’t really matter what gender they are, does it? at first, she’s a bit hurt that hajime didn’t tell her, but she quickly reminds herself that hajime seems to deeply resent this part of himself— chances are, he’s yet to even accept it. she hurts for him, i think. she doesn’t like seeing her best friend be so cruel to himself over how he loves. she keeps up the relationship for a couple weeks, to give him the chance to tell her. when it’s clear that he doesn’t plan on telling anyone anytime soon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

when chiaki approaches hajime and tells him she thinks they’d be better off as friends, he panics. he practically begs her to stay together, asks what he did wrong, promises he’ll do whatever it takes to keep this relationship alive, anything. chiaki looks at him softly, takes his hands in hers, and tells him that it’s okay, he hasn’t done anything wrong. she knows how much he cares about her, but there’s nothing either of them can do if they simply aren’t romantically compatible. “you can’t help who you love,” she tells him. hajime’s breath seems to stutter at that, and he pulls her into a tight hug, apologizing and sobbing gently into her shoulder. it’s a bit awkward physically, since chiaki’s pretty short in comparison to hajime, but she holds him as best she can. when he eventually pulls back, she tells him that they’ll always be best friends, okay? hajime sniffles, smiles, apologizes for breaking down like that, and agrees. best friends. he still doesn’t tell her. she doesn’t ask him to. he’ll tell her when he’s ready.

hajime tells komaeda about the breakup less than 24 hours after it happens. komaeda offers him a kind, gentle smile, clearly meant to reassure him. it reaches his eyes. “i’m sorry things didn’t work out, but i’m grateful you were able to maintain your friendship,” he says. he promises hajime that being single won’t doom him, and that he can still be freed of his sin even if he doesn’t have a nice girl to settle down with at the moment. they will continue their guidance, and one day hajime will be purified. hajime thanks his priest for all he’s done for him. Father Komaeda says he’d do anything to help someone dear see the glory of God.

[clowningaroundmars]

e-42 prowlerbyte angst (kinda) cuz i thought it'd be funny but in like a sad way

margo actually hating the prowler and thinking anyone with masks and weapons are terrible ppl just bc of how bad things are on earth-42

every time miles and his uncle show up on tv news channels she talks shit abt them not knowing she's talkin about her bf and his uncle

miles is oddly defensive every time, just sayin stuff like "margo you literally have never seen these two hurt civilians or anyone else but cops for that matter"

margo argues back "they obviously steal stuff and use bombs that could hurt someone tho. and nobody who's up to any good is swingin around wearing stuff like THAT"

miles rolls his eyes and pouts a lil bit about it but is genuinely distressed that his own gf can't see the good that the prowler does on a near daily basis so that pushes him to actually help more civvies whenever possible.

it kinda annoys aaron but he understands. eventually aaron lets him go off and do his own thing occasionally, stopping bank robbers from shooting unarmed bystanders and whatnot

the word spreads relatively quickly and soon prowler gains a "vigilante" label on the streets. a couple of his saves end up on the news, too

cue miles smirking at margo one day as they're sat in miles' living room with the tv on.

"...so. looks like prowler's moving different lately, just like i said he would. not lookin too bad there, is he?"

margo scoffs and shakes her head. "i mean... it's cool that he's saving ppl now i guess. doesnt mean hes a good guy exactly but we'll take what we can get!"

this definitely doesnt help miles' paranoia at all tho. he's even more adamant with his uncle that margo cannot know abt their prowler business now more than ever.

[spotsupstuff]

Does Boreas like listening to music?

i mean...

depends, really

after the Mass Ascension, he's cursed by all those devices randomly going off all over him. fun fact! "Walk Like a Man" by Frankie Valli is in the Eo playlist Specifically cuz it's the sort of music that often plays in this case. it's annoying, gives B headaches and he's just overall tired. doesn't help that he usually can' find the things

but anyway; before all that he still didn't normally listen to music by himself. he just doesn't see a point in it (as a person and also as a Gen 1- just like Moon, Boreas can't really understand feelings communicated by art forms. neither does Zephyr, Orion, Spore, Gem n so on)

but! Sparrows used to hang out with him for a few hours each time before she went to Zephyr to plan out repairs and resources/parts offered and made by Boreas. and well, after she married Euros and the whole Rot situation passed, she was able to just kick back and chill with Boreas like with proper family member. which means that she played him some of her music, since she's a music gal

despite his lack of ability to really understand it, he did secretly like these music hang outs Sparrows started and learned to quietly enthusastically await them. they had quite a few Talks™ during them (and eventually they resulted in Sparrows teaching him how to sing)

he ALSO has Euros for a brother (/son son sonny boy) so he didn't have much of choice but to listen to His music too. n then Haboob and Notos came by too and Euros was immediately like "oh i know what to do. girls girls girls!!! c'mon and let's harmonize. one and two one and two!" while on call with B and there it went. n then "Boreaaaaassss!!! BOREAS!!!!!!! come on, join us!!! we need a bass singer in here! your voice is deeper than the goddamn Void Sea get in here."

[derelictheretic]

sorry I keep forgetting about tag games and dm's etcetera I am in the not real mental state time

[jakowskis]

ngl i was so fucking iconic for writing a 30k fic where nothing happens and theres just lots of introspection FHSDKF like i was on my ao3 n saw the description n the way i wrote it like u'd think there'd be plot n Events happening. WRONG. 30k words of NOTHING. the seinfeld of tw rarepair nonsense. love me for that

[enbyzombies2]

last night I said I needed to start getting my shit together and getting up early and doing everything on time but here I am still in bed and refusing to get up

[venomgaia]

I know of a mutual acquaintance who can help with live2d if you ever decide you want to get in the game with a big model

listen to me

LISTEN TO ME

IF THAT MUTUAL AQUAINTANCE AINT ROGER D. CHEETO, I AIN'T HEARING YOU OUT.

[babsaros]

not feeling guilty about not talking to my mom has become. so much easier on t btw, just in case anyone else out there is struggling.

[glasseswearingrabbitdetective]

Justice … Aoi being “allowed”(??tf?)to wear whatever Aoi wants. Aoi-chan festival!! Deserved!

[water-mellie-seeds]

Gonna start doing an experiment called How many pronoun pins can I wear until the misgendering is definitely on purpose.

[mars-ipan]

guess who got too invested in their dream universe and overslept

[clowningaroundmars]

listening to rakim and the pharcyde rn and just thinking it's actually kinda weird that more ppl haven't pointed out how much miles' taste in music affects his life and viewpoint in general

and how being raised by his uncle who's into more old school stuff on earth-42 would affect him and his development

i'm imagining 42 actually clowning 1610 for listening to post malone while placing a labcabincalifornia vinyl on his record player while they chill in his room one day lol

42's tastes would probably be more varied and just... like more developed in general bc he has a man who was more than likely a Part Of The Culture helping to raise him. aaron was out on the streets of brooklyn as a kid most likely swapping diy mixtapes and buying local rap cd's with his allowance/summer job money (assuming he was born like around 1978-1980, then he was most likely on the streets in the mid 90's during the Golden Age of Hip Hop).

not to mention that for aaron to even Do What He Does as the prowler, he is still out on the streets til this day, shooting the shit with fellow neighbors and shaking hands with black market merchants. he's dapping up store owners and trying to get on local gang leaders' good sides for intel. he's making connections! he is most def still swapping music recommendations with ppl in the hood and ordering vinyls online if he can't get his hands on them in physical brick-and-mortar stores

and music seems to be a super important thing to a man like aaron. that would definitely influence miles. interesting that i haven't seen more posts mentioning that actually!

[gurorori]

omg found da story i was talkin abt :3 mika management story 6! turns out i remembrd like 80% of it wrong but dats da beauty of me.

[albedobeheading]

guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell

[i-got-a-killer-voice]

Do you miss your old mates and the Betta Old Days? How do you cheer yourself up when you think back to the past?

Right now, I tell myself that it has to pan out in the end eventually. Like, surely this half-fish thing isn't forever. I just have to look forward to when it isn't.