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songsforthepierce · 2 years ago

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Album Showcase: Three Days Grace -Three Days Grace

I may not remember exactly how I found out about Three Days Grace but I believe it was through two friends I knew in 8th grade. Well, I would say that BUT as I typed this I just remembered it was because I watched a Naruto AMV that used one of their biggest most well known songs in it. After that I would continue to listen to the band for years. Though I mainly stuck to the first two albums. Not because I dislike the later stuff, it was mainly because I stopped paying attention to what else they were doing and was looking at other bands. But regardless, even though I have changed a lot as a person and expanded on my music taste I still have a huge soft spot for early Three Days Grace. It will be nice retreading old ground here.

Content warnings for light discussions of mental illness (mainly depression), discussion on toxic to abusive relationships, and mentions of alcoholism.

The album cover art is simple but gets it across the moody tone for the album. I like the whole sketchy look of it. The imagery of three figures standing away from a burning home does catch my eye. I always interpreted the figures to be a family and the burning home to represent their dysfunction.

Before we go further I do want to say that I tend to get easily amused if an album or song is named after a band. Such as here though I wish they had a song called Three Days Grace so then it would be Three Days Grace by Three Days Grace on the album Three Days Grace. A missed opportunity but oh well. Though speaking of their name I found out that originally the band was called Groundswell and around 1997 the name was changed into what it is now. From what Gointer said in an interview with Florida Entertainment Scene in 2004, “ No, we sort of look at Three Days Grace, as it sort of stands for sense of urgency. Time to pay a debt. if you had three days to change something in your life or if wanted to changed something in your life could you do it in three days. That sort of urgency, I guess.”

That is a pretty heavy meaning for the name and the more I think about the more I get it with what I know about the original lead singer. Anyway, this album was released on July 22nd, 2003 and the genre it leans more towards are alternative metal, nu-metal, and post-grunge. I think this was one of my earliest exposure to nu-metal in general before I would listen to bands such as Disturbed, Linkin Park, Dope, etc. It is hard for me to fully define what exactly alternative metal is without just saying “If you know what alternative rock, then you can put together what this genre would entail” since a variety of bands have been labeled as such from System of a Down, 3Teeth, Bullet for my Valentine, Alter Bridge, etc which all have a distinct sound from one another. Though the term isn’t used much anymore. Post-Grunge I don’t know much about unfortunately but I guess better late than never to look more into it. I am genuinely looking forward to revisiting this album and seeing if it still holds up after all these years.

Track 1: Burn

This is a strong start for the album. The ambient build up before the guitar kicks in continuing the buildup until the lyrics come in. The song is about the narrator going up against someone. Making it clear this person isn’t going to win and they aren’t going to hide. They aren’t going to burn, but the other person will. Very simple concept and the lyrics are not subtle at all. Though despite this I still have a huge soft spot for it. I think mainly because as a teen I would just imagine various ocs of mine fighting against their rivals or something and triumphing over them. Though as much as I wish Burn got more attention I also understand why it didn’t.

Track 2: Just Like You

This was one of their big hits from the album and yeah I get why. As a teenager I felt like the song was about a child telling their parents they are not going to follow in their footsteps. They aren’t going to be mean or cruel, they are going to be better. They are going to go down their own path. This is a song I know a lot of teens related to, I know I did. I was not the only one who thought the song was about such. In an interview Adam said,

"It's about being told how to live your life. When we were growing up, we saw it sort of first hand. A lot of our friends were pushed into doing jobs their parents were telling them to do. It's about being pushed around and told how to live your life and standing up for yourself."

One has to keep in mind that Adam was around 25 when this album was recorded which sure that isn’t that young (not compared to when he made Groundswell around 14) but that does explain a lot not just about this song but also the album in general. I don’t have much to say about the music video besides liking the aesthetics of it. However, I want to bring up something interesting about this song. So, when I would go on itunes as a teenager and looked through Three Days Grace’s discography at the time I saw this track was on the soundtrack for the film XXX: State of the Union. Now, I didn’t nor do I still know what this movie is about. But what caught my eye was the title of the song on the soundtrack was instead called Just Like Wylin featuring American rapper Bone Crusher. I took a listen and...I could not anticipated for what I was going to hear. I know teen me didn’t like it but now as and adult I am just HIGHLY amused. This type of mashup is so bizarre but I weirdly love it just for whiplash of it. I HAD to mention it before moving on.

Track 3: I Hate Everything About you

This was the first song I ever heard by the band. Of course I heard it through an edgy Naruto AMV as a middle schooler. This song is one of the band’s most well known songs. Hell, they made this song before the album. It was on their demo when they were still Groundswell and the track got them attention from many record labels. I fully understand why. The song is very in your face about it’s subject matter. A toxic relationship and all the messy feelings that come along with it. Adam has said,

“The song is pretty blunt you know? It's to the point. It's about realizing there's something in your life you're wasting time on. I think everybody, even in this band and a lot of other people have felt that way before at one point or another in their life. Whether it's a person, a relationship whatever it is, you're just wasting time on it. The song is a realization of that.”

While I get the song being blunt and to an extent, whiny, can be seen as a detraction on top of it being not the most polished song. In my opinion, that is what gravitates me towards it. I think that unfiltered emotion from it really makes it stand out on this album. It’s no wonder this song is used for edgy AMVs to playlists for oc stuff. The fact this song was from their demo genuinely amazes me because it is really well done. They got really lucky with this track. I found a review by Heather Phares of AllMusic who said,

"At first, the song seems almost stupidly simple, both lyrically and musically. However, the controlled fury of the choruses and the ambivalent verses make the song a surprisingly smart and concise anthem for anyone stuck in a baffling relationship."

The review gets it. I feel like this song could have easily been fumbled lyrically like many other bands who made similar relationship songs like this. But I think what made this work is that Adam was not trying to write this from the perspective of a teenager for teenagers. But from someone who knows what this type of relationship is like for others who have gone through it.

Track 4: Home

This was apparently another big track from their album which surprises me. Mainly because I never really expected it to be a hit. Though it did not get as big as “Just Like You” and “I Hate Everything About You”. I would listen to this song a decent amount as a teen mainly because I grew up in a not great environment. So at the time it resonated with me but not so much now. It is a decent song, not my favorite track, but all right. Apparently this was Adam Gointer’s favorite track from the album mainly because it was fun to play it live. Though drummer Neil Sanderson talked about the meaning of the song saying,

"It's about being pushed around and neglected and feeling like even though you're in the company of other people, they're not really there at all."

Obvious by anyway, further reading I found this odd trivia about the song. This track along with an interview with the band was included as a bonus with the Prima Games strategy guide for Lords of EverQuest. Huh? That is random. Why was this song chosen for it? Who knows.

Track 5: Scared

I always forget this track exists. It’s not a bad song but it doesn’t stand out compared to the other tracks on the album. I could say what the song is about but I think Genius said it best with and I quote, “This song is about someone is scared and lonely” Thank you random person for saying the obvious. I cannot saying anything else about the song. Narrator is paranoid and is clearly not having a good time in this house because the other person there told him shit he cannot unhear. So far this is one of the weaker tracks on the album. The lyrics are simple and the track feels more like a filler song more than anything. Again, it isn’t like a terrible song but it also doesn’t do much for me. Actually, while I went to listen to it this is a fucking bop. If someone made an AMV of this song with like Scooby Doo on Zombie Island or something it would be perfect. Fuck what I said earlier that this is a weak track.

Track 6: Let You Down

This is an interesting track. It is about the narrator urging the other to trust them and they are safe with this person. But shortly reveals that once you give said trust to them, they will disappoint you. I know some could read this as Adam is the narrator in the situation but I don’t personally see it like that. How I saw it was this was akin to a villain song. Which I think works in the song’s favor. Well I know what ocs I’ll be using this song for.

Track 7: Now or Never

I always assumed this track was about the state of the world and we have the decision of either doing something or not at all. Though that was my perspective as a teen. Now as an adult I could see this song on a more personal level of a person having to choose whether to act upon a decision or never getting that chance again. It’s an all right song. Not one of my favorites but it is a nice track regardless.

Track 8: Born Like This

You know, I struggled trying to pin down the exact meaning behind the song. Before relistening to it I assumed it was about like being born a certain way. Like a certain nature be it selfishness to cruelty. Especially from my memory of the song. When I began to listen with lyrics “It’s not what I took from you, It’s not what I stole, we are born like this” I thought it would lean towards that or something but as the track went on it just became more vague. Well to me anyway. I would replay it to see if maybe I’ll get it. I know this verse,

“Somewhere you're floating high You're not living, we are Somewhere, someone's god, someone's god is laughing”

Stood out to me even as a teen. I always liked it but I don’t really know why. I asked one of my friends who listened to a lot of Three Days Grace as a teen and asked what they thought the song was trying to say. What they told me was,”my best guess is about reclaiming agency over one's life, like a "you can't change the person i intrinsically am" kind of thing.” This was after them even admitting they didn’t fully know what the song meant either. Though if lets say that is the message of reclaiming one’s agency then that is genuinely neat.

Track 9: Drown

An obvious about depression and that the narrator will get out of the slump before it overtakes them. I like the whispers that appear in and out of the song especially in the end. It is eerie and gives off an implication of the narrator doing a mantra to encourage themselves to get through this. How I feel about this song is similar to Now or Never, I like it all right but it isn’t my top song on this album.

Track 10: Wake Up

Before I re-listened to this song I was like “I don’t remember this track. This was their fourth hit?” Then when the instrumentals kicked in then I remembered it. The instrumentals are genuinely very nice and oddly relaxing. However the lyrics of it is...a LOT. I am going to be blunt, this is about a couple in an abusive relationship where the narrator is struggling with addiction however he is taking out his frustrations on his partner. He tries to plead to her that he needs her even though this relationship is terrible for both of them. Especially since the girl is the one who has to be in a position to try to calm him down to sober him up. That and he is using her for drunken sex as well which uhh...

Adam in an interview said,

“ We kind of wrote that song together as a band. The other guys in the band have gone through quite a few relationships, and I've been through a couple. Really that song's just about wanting to get a second chance at a relationship that has gone pretty bad."

There is just a lot to unpack here and in this song that I don’t really know if I am equip to actually discuss more. Like yeah, I could bring up that the narrator is probably an alcoholic which explains his anger and behavior towards this woman. But that is obvious. I guess I am just shocked because as a teen I never really paid attention to the lyrics so listening to this as an adult I am just sitting here. I am not sure how I feel about this song at all. Do I hate it? No. Do I love it? No. Does the song make me uncomfortable? Yeah actually. Not because the subject matter is there but more me trying to figure out how am I, the listener, meant to feel towards the narrator? Sympathy? Pity? Disgust? I guess that is up to the listener. I do have some respect for the song being like up front about a bad relationship like this.

Track 11: Take Me Under

I have always felt this track was fatalistic since the whole “Push me under, pull me further, take me all the way” does make it sound like he is asking death to just get it over with. However, reading more into the lyrics I could if I really squinted it COULD be about a relationship based on the lyric,

“ Seems you're wanting me to stay But my dreams would surely waste away And I still have nowhere else to go”

But I think either interpretation works. It is an all right song, got nothing more to say on it.

Track 12: Overrated

Okay, I remember this track and it was my least favorite on the album for years. Mainly how slow and dull it sounded to me. On top of the energy on the track being low. As a teen I thought this was like about overrated music but going back to the first verse this is about generational divide. That the previous generation screwed up the current and future generation with all the issues they created. Which I only found that out now of the song’s message. While I understand the message I feel like there are better songs that do this. The song doesn’t go deeper into what these issues are besides vague things such as “answers to questions they don’t even know” to “the system moves too slow”. I get that maybe the band didn’t want to get too political on their debut album but as it is, it is a weak end to the album. I will say it is not a bad song but it is a very meh song.

Bonus Track: Are You Ready?

So on the deluxe edition of the album they added this track and I think this song is a weirdly fitting end to the album. Which yes it sounds a lot different than all the other tracks which have more depressing subject matter. But the energy of it I feel like is on par of bring the mood up. Not gonna lie, it sounds like a song perfect for concert audience participation. Not a bad thing but it is something I noticed.

I was pleasantly surprised that I still enjoyed this album as I am getting slowly closer to 30 and farther away from who I was as a middle schooler. I enjoyed most of the songs on this with my top favorites being Burn, I Hate Everything About You, Born Like This, and Scared. The band got super lucky with this album being the success it was. Not every bands first album is solid.Oh, and before I forget this is a Canadian band. I don’t know why I always forget the band came from there but I do. I should have mentioned that a lot earlier but oh well. I actually recommend this album if you like more alternative metal to rock stuff. As I am writing this I have and had worked on Bullet for My Valentine’s The Poison review. Switching back between the two so I hopefully get my review of The Poison out soon.

#Three Days Grace #Album review #music review #alternative metal #alternative rock #album showcase #Pierce talks #long post

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hoshigray · 5 months ago

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𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐇! | suguru getō + chōsō kamo

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Winning a V.I.P. meet-and-greet with your favorite alternative metal band members of all time has you over the moon! But what happens if the duo rewards you for being such a loyal supporter?!

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: metal duo! Geto + Choso x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern setting; sex backstage of a concert - you are sugucho's #1 fan - kissing/making out - light BDSM + use of an O ring choker & leash + light choking - oral (m! + f! receiving) - fingering (f! receiving) - breast fondling + nipple play + boob-job - heavy depictions of a blowjob - orgasm denial - threesome - double penetration; anal & vaginal - table + cowgirl/backshots dp positions - praises - pet names (angel, baby, cutie, good girl, pretty girl, sweetheart, sweetie) - protected sex (psa: wrap it up, or get tf up) - cameos: Nobara, Miwa and Momo - mention of blood, spit and tears - not proofread; will do l8r.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8.2k

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: based on this ask!! we back at it with the rare threesomes, this time with the dark-haired emos, hehe. hope you enjoy this one, i had fun writing it, & tysm for 9.6k, you rockstarssss!! —☆

“AAAAAAAAAAAA—“

“AAAAAAAI’MSOEXCITEDAAAAA—“

“AAAAAAAWE’RESOHAPPYFORYOUAAAAA—“

There was no way you could contain your excitement—particularly tonight!

The best language in the world is, without a doubt, music. It’s the most prominent universal plane that transcends the dimensions of expression, expounded upon through various genres and artistic styles, constructing melodies and rhythms for entertainment. There are multiple reasons why people love music: it helps put people in the zone, is the perfect substitute for silence, refreshes the mind and soul, serves as an emotional outlet, and so on.

To say you love music is an understatement; music is your life! You can’t eat, sleep, or breathe in this life without it, or else your life would be a lot more miserable and dull than what it is right now. Music is in your veins; it gives you the boost you need.

Especially when it’s your favorite genre: alternative metal!

When it comes to this type of music, some people would look at you and give you the most questioning looks simply because of the word “metal” associated with it. Nevertheless, you couldn’t care less about their prejudice because they don’t understand your connection with it. They weren’t there when your first ever album for your birthday was Linkin Park’s Meteora, when you’d listen to Ill Niño while studying for AP tests during high school, singing Deftones lyrics during karaoke with your friends, or sing along to the lyrics to “Word Up” by Korn with your family listening while going on family road trips.

To you, alternative metal was engraved into your very being, so who cares what others think otherwise? Especially right now!!

Today will go down to be one of the best moments in your life. Why? For one, it was now the beginning of summer. You could finally hang out with your best friends – Nobara, Miwa, and Momo –to your heart’s content, with no college assignments getting in the way and done graduating! Two, because you four were so deep with college stuff and barely had time to form a voice call, your three friends pitched in together to get tickets to a band to celebrate your graduation. How sweet of them! And lastly, this was just no ordinary band, oh no, no, no. That would undermine their significance to you…for they were your all-time favorite alternative metal duo!

Curses and Death Paintings, composed of two members, Suguru Getō and Chōsō Kamo, was a band you’ve been a loyal follower of throughout high school and college life. It started when you unexpectedly met the duo at a pub with your family, a local band performing live, and your eyes were glued to them the moment you saw them. From there, you immediately followed their socials and listened to their discography, going to that pub whenever they’d announce to perform and support them through and through. They were the first band you saw grow and grow throughout the years, attending their shows and liking and sharing their posts—heck, you even had the courage to reply to their Instagram stories. And they would actually respond back!! You had every right to be brown-nosed about them since you were loyal to them from the ground up, and you were happy to see their recognition and popularity climb to the public eye.

However, the worst thing about watching your local favorite grow popular with time is seeing their reach go farther and farther — especially when you’re stuck in your dorms on campus! Let’s be honest; you were a broke college student, and senior year was kicking your ass harder than it ever did. The moment you saw the tour announcement and the ticket prices, there was no way you’d see them this year; it was disheartening knowing that you wouldn’t see your duo this time.

But as mentioned before, your friends came in clutch. They surprised you at your graduation party with premium front-row tickets to the Curses and Death Paintings show in the nearest city stadium, which was undoubtedly the greatest gift you received! You were in tears, even at the concert!

Holy fuck, it was fantastic to see such a massive fanbase for your favorite band come together and scream and sing along to the lyrics; you took so many videos of you singing with the girls with an enthusiastic glow. Speaking of photos, the fact that you were in the front row was hard to grasp as it’s been such a long time since you saw Geto and Choso up close; you nearly lost your breath whenever they walked close to you on stage or snuck glances your way—Nobara could’ve sworn you died and came back, especially when Geto walked right up to you and grabbed your phone to take a pic and hand it back.

But the cherry on top was at the very last act of the show, where a lucky person would win a thirty minute V.I.P. meet-and-greet with the duo. After getting your tickets reviewed at the front, every premium ticket owner would be given red, numbered tickets for this exact reason, and the lucky number would be showcased at the show’s last moments. And guess whose number was called up? Needless to say, you fainted on the spot, almost busting your head to the concrete floor without Momo and Miwa catching you.

I can’t believe it! Not only were you the person who was called in your city out of all the thousand people who came here, but you were also getting to meet Choso and Geto, one of your all-time favorite musical artists—this was meant to be!

And now, you are geeking to your best friends on the phone after being pulled aside and led backstage by the security guards. You haven’t met them yet, but you can feel your body shake with starstruck and awe, wiping tears still coming down. “Guys, please, I’m too excited. I can barely keep it together!”

“That’s completely normal, dude, don’t worry!” Miwa’s face pops on the screen of Nobara’s phone, her blue hair in space buns held by spiky hair ties. “If anyone deserves to be in that meet-and-greet, it must be you. This is literally destiny!” She beams and screams with you.

Your smile grows, and you begin calming down as you speak. “Yooo, this is so insane…What if I get like merch to bring?” You gasped. “What if I get SIGNED shit?!?!”

“If you do, whatever Choso gives comes straight to me!” It was Momo’s turn with the phone; a red makeshift mark across her face contrasts with her skin and blonde hair.

“Hell no, get in line, girl! Better luck next time when they call your number,” you hard when the short girl calls you a bitch in giggles. You then see the phone passed to the owner, Nobara, cheesing with the biggest grin. She also has a rad mark from cheek to cheek, but she puts more effort into her eye makeup.

“We’re so happy for you, Y/n,” the brunette says to you, the other two coming from either side to see you. “But stay safe and don’t let their handsome faces get to you too much; if anything happens, I’m kicking balls, ya hear me?”

Nodding to her words, you salute. “Loud and clear!” Then, you see a security guard come to you, a signal that you need to be ushered. “Okay, guys, I gotta go. But I love you and see you after, okay, byeee!!”

The three wave and scream farewell before you end the call and stuff your phone into your small purse, following the security guard five doors down and making a left.

You’re giddy with every step, and your smile refuses to wipe away. It’s happening, it’s happening! You were finally seeing your favorites after all these years, face-to-face, so up and close! Nothing can top this moment at all, probably ending up to be the greatest day of your life!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“They should be here momentarily,” the security guard opens the door. “Just sit or stand here and wait for them.”

“Okay.” You nod and stride right in; the door closes behind you, the sound of the footsteps drawing away, leaving you in a coat of anticipation.

Like a kid in a candy store, you scan around the area. You were now moved to a backstage suite that looked like a dressing and rehearsal room, with bass guitars and a drum set in one corner. There was a coffee table for water and cups in front of a low, comfy couch. To your left was the desk with a vanity mirror, black and gray makeup out, and was used by people before. Duffle bags full of clothes and towels were by you as you walked down, and the space smelt so delightful; it must be the cologne they put on before going on stage…

Your lips quiver as you sink into the couch, your purse resting on your lap. The room is filled with the faint echoes of laughter and conversation, a reminder of the bustling activity just beyond the door. Your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, each one vying for your attention. The silence, broken only by these distant sounds, is deafening, amplifying the sense of solitude and heightening your awareness of the impending moment.

I can’t believe it. You clutched the long strap of your purse, your eyes unable to stay still as you picked up every detail of the room. The tour poster that showed the duo so cooly on the door, the gray plaid blanket next to you entailing someone must’ve taken a nap, and the magazines on the table you’ve seen in grocery stores that exhibited the two. You pick one up to examine, and your heart beats faster.

Choso, the dark brown-haired one with a mark across his cheeks and baggy eyes, shoves a middle finger at the camera, his hand tatted with the letters of “death” above each knuckle. His ear piercings shine from the lights, like his chocolate eyes, as if they’re piercing you through the cover. The other, Geto, had his left arm slouched around his companion, shoving his right middle finger with a tooth-shining grin and a wink. His slender fingers were tattooed with the word “curse,” decorated with silver rings that match his chains and piercings, and part of his dragon arm tattoo is shown. The side handle of the magazine is titled “Bring the Curse and Blood: Duo of the Year Taking this Summer by Storm.”

A sense of pride bubbled in your stomach, getting a little emotional. You can’t help but think how crazy it is to see these same guys who used to do live shows at a local family restaurant and make little concerts in your town now become big superstars. It’s such a whirlwind to sit and comprehend now, knowing that you’ve been following these two for the longest time and have seen their growth from day one. You still have the picture of the last big show you saw them with; the premium tickets then allowed you and your best friends to take a photo with the duo after the show, the six of you doing piece signs with big smiles. The Polaroid is in a frame on your desk at home, titled “BESTIES + C&DP 2022!” and has lip marks and drawn skulls and hearts all around.

Maybe Miwa is right; no one in this stadium or city deserves to see these two in the same space as you. It’s not like you expected it to be you anyway, sure that there would be other chances. But for it to be you, their biggest fan in the entire world, to be the one to win the lottery?! You squealed into the magazine cover. This really is destiny!

“Excuse me?”

And there goes your destiny, making your heart jump to your throat! You were too deep in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed the sound of the door opening, and in comes a man who has your breath hitched, and you’re too entranced to take a breath so suddenly.

The man with his hair pulled to his notorious pig-tailed hairstyle, wiping his face with a white towel. You noticed he hasn’t wearing the darkish-grey tee he wore on stage; the clothing held in his hands. He wore his white wife-beater that showcased his lean yet beefy arms so attractively, and your eyes trailed down from his exposed collarbone to his tightened torso. Baggy jeans with chains to complete the look and dirty Converse shoes that he removed and kicked by his bag. It’s Choso Kamo! “You’re the person who won the meet-and-greet, right?”

“Y-Yes!” You squeaked, facepalming internally; fucking lame! Spit swallowed, watching the guy take a seat by the makeup desk.

“Sorry for the wait,” he wipes his forehead. “Suguru’s busy talking with the manager about something quick, so he should be here in a minute.”

Suguru? He refers to him by his first name now; how cute! “Oh, sure…”

Then there is silence as you wait, an uncomfortable one you expected. You knew Choso wasn’t the more lively of the two, always the calm-sounded one who likes to be in the corner. And you can see that as he sits a bit away from you, checking his nails. You find it oddly adorable, honestly.

Regardless, you only have a limited time to be with these two, and the seconds turn into minutes quickly. Think, me, think! What can I do to stir up some conversation with him? Peripherals scan his figure; maybe something about him would be a good idea to discuss. And then you saw it: his left shoulder harboring a tattoo. Bingo!

“Excuse me,” he straightens up at your voice. You point to his shoulder, “Is that the one you got colored recently? I remember from the stories long back that you only had the outline done.”

He looks at what you’re talking about. “Uhh, yeah, I got it done months ago.”

“May I see?” You crossed your fingers imaginatively and sang joyfully in your heart when the man got up and walked to where you sat, a tiny smile in victory when he sat at your right side. Now that he’s proximate, you can see his piercings exceptionally well, his helix, orbital, lobe pierced, and the tragus that matched his right ear. But that wasn’t the point; you don’t want to be caught overlooking, so you gaze at the subject at hand: his left shoulder tattoo, a black spirit that appears to be incarcerated within a tube. “Is this the ‘death painting’ one?”

“Yeah, it’s the one I have wanted to have done since high school.” Now that he’s talking about himself, he’s become comfortable sharing with you. Score! “I have similar ones with my younger brothers, but not the youngest; he’s still kinda young to get—“

“You mean Yuuji?” You hadn’t realized you spoke out of turn until the brunette looked at you with puzzlement. “I-I mean, you talk about your brothers all the time, but I kind of know of Yuuji the most.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, he’s three grades below me; he joined my high school in my senior year!” Don’t make it sound weird, don’t make it sound weird, don’t— “From what I’ve heard when I come down to town, he’s quite the athletic star! I think I heard he’s a literal track star and not too bad at baseball.” Shit, did that come out weird? You can’t tell because all you’re doing is letting out all you know and observing Choso’s face relaxing. And your heart skips a bit at the twinge of his lips.

He chuckled, “Yeah, I’ve heard he’s doing well…He just graduated recently, excited to head to college and all that jazz.” Choso rests his head back and sighs. “I couldn’t make it to the graduation, but he said if I bring back some souvenirs and see him after his concert, I’m forgiven.”

You giggled behind a hand. “You’re quite the older brother, huh? Looking out for the others must be so reliable.”

“Yeah…I guess so,” was it the lighting, or was there a shade of pink creeping up on his pale ears? You couldn’t tell.

“Maybe his graduation gift could be that tattoo?” You inquired, chin pointing to his shoulder again. “Just an idea.”

He hums while looking at the body design and then puts his shirt back on, noticing the gothic-style bracelets. Thank God, it was getting hard to avoid his arms. Choso looks at you and says, “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” you see yourself nearly being lost in his brown orbs, the purple eyeshadow too alluring.

KA-CHAA!

“Yo, Choso, sorry ‘bout leaving you here with—“ Another voice enters the space with the sound of the door opening, and you’re finally met with the other person to complete the duo.

The other man – Suguru Geto – came into the room, a towel in one hand and a water bottle in the other. A black tank top appeared a bit loose, paired with black harem pants that were low and free with his movements—the outfit he wore on stage. His dragon tattoo is fully revealed to your eyes, from his right wrist to the top of his shoulder. Silver rings shine on his fingers, adorned with his left wrist’s wooden and leather bracelets. A hair tie and white headband neatly pushed back his spiky, raven hair, yet bangs came down to sling over his left eye. And yes, you’re taking every detail to ensure you’re not looking at his sinewy arms…

“G-Geto!” You didn’t mean to say; it slipped out!

“That would be me, yes,” his mellow voice sounded surreal to hear up so near as he walked to where you two were sitting. Then, he pauses and tilts his head. “Wait…Have we met before?”

You perked. “Yes! I took a picture with you guys like two years ago with my girlfriends!”

“Ohhh yeahhh!” You can see the cogs of his brain work, the realization hitting him as he sits to your left after telling him your name. “I remember you. Aren’t you on Instagram who replies to our stories?”

“Yes, that’s me!!”

“Don’t you live around here, like a local?”

You nodded your head with super speed. “Mhmm, all my life!”

“Oh wow,” Choso says from behind. “You must have heard of us a lot then.”

Have I?! “Uhh, I’ve been listening to you guys, legit your biggest fan out there. I literally saw you at the very first show in the little family restaurant on the street downtown!”

Brown eyebrows raise. “You’re joking.”

“Never that.” Stone cold face, dead serious.

“What did I usually eat there?” You turn to Geto, so taken aback by his handsome face and nasallang piercing that you nearly miss his smirk. “Can’t say you’re our biggest fan and not expect a quiz.”

A challenge you took with a high chin and smile. “You would order a side of mozzarella sticks to eat when you’re done performing because you like how nice and gooey the cheese is. But if you are really hungry, you’ll get soba noodles with beer and soup dumplings to share with Choso. Who, by the way,” you poke at the mentioned other who flinches. “You don’t usually eat anything, drinking water as you perform. But you don’t mind occasionally treating yourself to the place’s root beer float or some ramen if Geto’s eating.”

Were you proud of yourself? Of course, you were. How could you not be when the men looking at you gawked with bemusement? When your support was questioned, you had to deliver your stuff with a huff. The confidence shown in your pupils as you peered to Geto, “Any other questions?”

He blinks, and the smirk gets broader. “Plenty.”

And that’s how you were able to ease the boys into chatting with you. Before you knew it, you felt so laid back and relaxed, talking to the men about yourself and how much love you have for their music and the genre as a whole. And it fills you with glee seeing the two do the same, sharing bits of themselves that go beyond the fan-asked questions or the interviews. For example, you had known that Geto was best friends with the acclaimed actor Satoru Gojo, but you hadn’t known that they were friends with model and actress Utahime, who despises Gojo after a prank he pulled on her fourteenth birthday?! Oh my. And then, apparently, Choso knows about your friend Nobara as well?!? The girl is in the same year as Yuuji, and the two were best buddies throughout their high school years—damn, what a small world.

It was such a magical moment for you to finally talk with the two favorite men in your life and learn bits and pieces of themselves you never thought you’d imagine yourself hearing. Winning this meet-and-greet was indeed such a blessing, something you’ll never take for granted and a memory you will store in your heart forever and ever until the end of time. I can finally die happy now~~!

But alas, all good things must come to an end, hence why you’re not surprised to hear a knock on the door from their manager, Yaga. “Thirty minutes’ up,” the man behind the wooden frame says. “Sorry, miss, but these two got a long meet-up they must be at right after.”

“Okay,” you shout in confirmation. “This was more than fun, guys; I’ll never forget it. Please have fun and enjoy the rest of your tour,” you begin to check your bag and stand to excuse yourself—

“Hold on,” only for you to be stopped by Geto’s hand on your right shoulder. “I got this…Hey, Yaga, mind if we get another thirty minutes?”

Huh!? “What?! What’s the hold-up? Is everything okay??”

“Yeah, nothing too bad; it’s just that Miss Y/n here wanted to try playing with Choso’s drums, and, well….they kinda broke the snare.” Your jaw dropped; I did what!?

“They did what??!!” Yaga, equally as baffled, opens the door ajar. “Isn’t that expensive? Do you guys need—“

“Nah, it’s fine; Choso’s helping them out since he had an extra, just in case.” Geto punches his bandmate in the shoulder; Choso is just as confused as you and his manager.

“Y-Yeah, don’t worry about it, Yaga,” Choso comes in with the assist. “Y/n and I are just switching the old snare with the new one, but it’ll take a bit, so… another thirty minutes is alright?”

Seconds go by where no one says anything, the anxiousness pushing you to lend to Geto’s ear to whisper. “It’s okay if I go; I don’t wanna be in the way of you two and—“

“Shh, it’s fine,” he shushes you with a finger to your lips, purple eyes still on the door to see the decision.

“…Fine then, another thirty minutes.” The older man says the final word. “But don’t go breaking more shit, understand? Money doesn’t grow on trees.” And with that, Yaga closes the door, and his heavy footsteps wander down the hall. Geto then gets up, marches to lock the door, and returns to sit beside you.

Choso is the first to question. “So, wanna tell me why I was pulled into a lie, Geto?”

“Hmm?” Black eyebrows rise. “Why do you ask? Aren’t you enjoying our new company? I’m not ready to mingle with a group of people yet,” his hand reverts to your shoulder. “I’m way too comfortable just to let the fun end suddenly.”

Your heart skips. “Uh-Uhh, I’m totally fine with going. I don’t wanna overstay my welcome.”

“Who said you were overstaying? Besides, we have already extended your stay,” his forefinger doing circles on the shoulder of your black and grey crochet crop sweater. “So let’s enjoy ourselves for a bit, ‘kay?”

You blink once, slowly. “Geto, I don’t the—“

“You look cute.”

You hadn’t expected such a compliment to fly out and turn you to stone, his words ringing around your eardrums into your mind. “R..Really?” Your stare goes down to your outfit, something you had put much thought into coming into this concert. Along with the sweater was a black sleeveless top, a black skirt with many silver chains, garters that connect to your thigh highs, and platform boots to finish it up. Even your ears had upside-down crosses with a red gem, and then there was your—…Wait…Wait, oh no! “It broke!”

“What broke?” Choso gets closer to see. “Your collar?”

“Yeah, it’s an O-ring collar, but the ring must’ve fallen out somehow!” You’re scanning the room, trying to find the metal. Choso stands up with the taller other, but they can’t locate the lost item.

“Must’ve been lost back in the arena,” Geto says before heading to his duffel bag, rummaging through its contents before standing back up and walking back to you. “Take that off,” he points to your broken collar, watching you listen and loosen the leather off your neck. Once it’s withdrawn, the black-haired man has you turn for him to put something around your neck to substitute. “Here, look.”

While wondering what he did, you turn to him as he brings up his phone to pull up the camera app and point it in your direction. A new item on your neck catches your attention, a hand finding the O-ring to touch the cold steel. “Are you…giving this to me?”

“Yup; it used to be Choso’s, but said it didn’t look good on him, so I wore it until I was gifted a new one.” Geto’s finger comes up to loop around the ring. “You can have it—looks pretty on you.”

Your cheeks warm at the gesture: a gift given to you by your favorite alternative metal duo? This day couldn’t get any better. “Thank you so much,” you didn’t realize how nearby Geto’s face was until he drew in a couple of centimeters closer, and your breathing came to a standstill. “…Geto.”

“Aww, no need for the formalities. We have just gotten a little closer today,” he tugs on the collar just a bit, your nose neighboring his. “You can say my name; shouldn’t my biggest fan know it?”

You chew on your lips, your eyelids subconsciously shielding your vision when he does the same. “Sugu..ru,” it leaves in a whisper.

“Good girl,” you yelp at the feel of his lips on yours, the softness quickly pulling you in. There’s no way that this was happening…except that it was. You were kissing Suguru Geto alone in a room with Choso right behind you backstage at a stadium after a concert.

Your conscience immediately snaps you awake, pulling yourself away from his mouth and covering your lips. “I-I’m sorry!” Oh, fucking shit, no way did I let him kiss me! That isn’t what you’re supposed to do in a meet-and-greet. Are you insane?!? “I shouldn’t have let that happen…!”

“Why are you apologizing? Wasn’t like I minded at all,” Geto’s hand comes and pulls you by the neck for him to place a kiss on your cheek suddenly, and the other snakes to touch your thigh.

Wait a minute! “W-Wait, please, I don’t think this is a good idea. You—“ You gulp as his fingers knead your inner thigh, sneaking his pinky into your thigh highs. “…You have somewhere to be later.”

“That’s not until the next twenty-five minutes, so I’m not too concerned.” A blow to your ear has your breath shaky. “And my bandmate here would also love to have you to himself. Isn’t that right, Choso?”

The one with the name is seen from your peripheral, brown eyes taking in the whole picture: his friend and peer with his hands all up and around their guest. “I..don’t think this is right, either. Isn’t this too out of left field?”

“Perhaps, but I don’t hear our baby over here saying they feel uncomfortable,” he kisses your neck and nibbles on the skin; your gasp makes Choso rigid to the sound. Geto then grabs the brown-haired one’s hand over and sneaks it inside your skirt, and your legs jolt at the contact of his fingers on your panties. “Why don’t you help around and treat our most loyal fan kindly?”

Choso swallows thickly when you moan at his fore and middle finger, slowly coming up and down on your panties, chewing his lip at the spot, becoming wetter and wetter with every stroke. And when you grab for his wrist, he stops. “Choso,” you said his name in a desperate whimper.

“Y-Yes?”

“Can you…” What you were about to say was going to have you cross a line you never thought possible in your wildest dreams. So many thoughts are rampant in your brain, and a battle between your morality and wanton desires is colliding together. And yet, you tell the other, “…Can you please kiss me?”

Of course, his eyes widened at your request, expecting him to shut you down. However, that doesn’t happen. Instead, he leans in ever so slowly, and you happily accept his lips onto yours, moaning louder as his fingers go faster and his tongue teases your bottom lip.

Geto observes with a snicker before sneaking his hand under your sweater to cop a feel and kiss your neck. “Now, this is a lot more interesting…”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Hahhh, holy shit…This is too much…!”

“Mmmhh, damn, baby, where’ve ya been hiding these cute tits from me?”

Here, you realized that maybe locking the door was the greatest thing that Geto had done on his part. Because there is no way you’d want someone to stumble upon you and this inappropriate scene occurring before you.

The coffee tables were cleared up, and the glass container of water and the plastic cups were moved somewhere else to prioritize something of more importance. Or more like someone…

You lay on the table surface on your back, you low enough for the taller individuals to see you in your submissive state. Your platform boots were removed to the side, your wet panties rolled up and stuffed in Choso’s jean pocket. The man had his pig-tailed hairstyle changed, bringing his umber hair back to a man-bun so they didn’t get in the way of his craft: giving you head and patting your leaky cunt with his tongue. The feel of the wet muscle venturing around your area was utterly exhilarating, having you speak in shrills in front of Geto.

Speaking of whom, the onyx-haired one was now straddling your chest without his pants and boxers, his cock free and out for you to see in all its glory. Or rather see him bring your top down for his dick to come in between your breasts and motion it to and fro between your mounds. It was a sight you had no idea how to fully comprehend, so raunchy for your eyes that you instantly went dizzy from the sounds of skin slapping being so incredibly intimate.

The thrusts of his hips were going at a moderate pace–not too hard–because of the worry that the table might give way and fall with this tall man on top of you. So, cautiously, Geto moves in consideration of his weight on top of you while ensuring you’re feeling good—his grabby hands fondling your tits and tweezing your nipples with a tease.

“Ohhhh, mmmph…!” You throw your head back when Choso slurps up your labia, taking all the slickness that coats your folds. “Ahhaaa, Ch-Chosoo, you’re tongue, it’s—Dahhaaa!!” Your thighs jerk at the suck of your clitoris, eyes screwing shut.

“Aww, sweetheart feeling too good from Choso…? Fuck, these tits are the best…” Gropes to your mounds have you hum, his fingers pushing them a bit together for the friction to be even more enjoyable. “Haaahh, yess…Ya hear that, Chocho? Sounds like you’re doing a good job down there…!”

The man between your legs only groans, his hands coming to your waist to bring you further down to his face. You silently howl at his tongue, swirling around the entrance of your vagina, biting your lip as he torments your nerves with the insertion. “Mmmfff, fuckin’ shit,” he curses before stuffing his tongue into you, your scent intoxicating his nostrils and fueling his drive to mess with you more. “You taste so good, sweetie…”

It all happens at once, having your vagina be fucked and battered by the spit of Choso’s tongue that mixes with your essence, along with Geto’s erotic display of his hot length meshing together with the heat of your soft chest. His cockhead poked out, touched, and covered by the top of your sweater, nearly beckoning you to remove the material to see it up close and kiss it.

But more laps around your clit have your hands shielding your mouth from shrieking. God, did Choso know how to work that tongue! You were barely keeping it together, shutting your eyelids so tightly that you could feel your orbs water from the tension. And it only worsens when his wet muscle solely focuses on your clit while he sneaks a finger inside your chasm to pet around your silky walls.

Oh, fucking shit! You can feel the climb, gripping the digit in anticipation and stead. You wail at the curve of the finger on your upper wall, eyebrows furrowing. “Ohhh, ohhmyGod, I’m gonna cum…!”

Or were you? “Now, hold on there, cutie.”

Geto gets up with his erection and stands by the table, his hand wrapped around what appears to be a leash that he yanks on. And your neck is then tugged in his direction, pulling your immersion onto him. “I already had you cum on my tongue minutes ago; I wouldn’t wanna share that experience with Choso.”

Choso removes his face from between your legs at the call of his name to glare at his friend. “Asshat.”

The so-called asshat shrugs with a sly smirk. “Ehhh, but don’t ya think it would be better to have our pretty girl here cum on your dick rather than your tongue?” He throws the leash at the other, who catches it. “Be right back; gotta get something.”

You watch Geto walk around the table and see that he heads to his duffle bag to retrieve something again. But you don’t know what because your collar is tugged on again! This time, Choso is the owner of the leash.

“Hey,” he says low. You don’t know why, but you licked your lips once you saw his pants were drawn down, his cock sprung out from his boxers, and precum glistened the glans. “Come suck me off, yeah?” Need he say more? Your frame moves on its own to slide closer to him and his solid limb.

You greet his cock with curiosity, your tongue meeting the crown and frenulum of his cock, lathering the skin and veins with your saliva to have him ready and wet. A hand strokes him off as your mouth prepares him before taking the glans into your mouth with a curved flick of your tongue. His cock is long and appealing, yet you don’t take in all of him, not wanting to choke.

His moans can be heard from above as you stuff your mouth with how much you can, sucking his dick with puffy cheeks and tongue nestled beneath. You continue to jerk his shaft as your head bobs up and down with an aroused hum. And your free hand finds his testicles, kneading his balls, which prompt the male to cry broken sobs.

“—Ahhhshiiiit, uhhggg…!” You can tell he’s feeling so good, a hand finding your head to place atop. He gazes down to see you lick the precum from his urethra and paint it around his cock before taking him back into your mouth. The image of his fluid frothing to your lips and forming a slight white ring has him in a clutch, especially when you peer up to him with hooded eyes. “Jesus, you’re so good at this.”

“Really? Damn, I wish I was you right now,” in comes Geto, back with the items he was looking for. He throws a wrapper at Choso, who almost doesn’t catch it. He hands the leash back to the taller, dark-haired one as he rips the wrapper open. “Come on, angel,” Geto pulls the leash. “Get on all fours for me, okay?”

You do as ordered, switching positions to stand on the table with your palms and knees. “Good girl,” Geto praises while opening a bottle to lather his hand with a clear substance. He throws the bottle to Choso and uses his dry hand to lift your skirt. “Stay still for me, okay?” A curt nod is given, and he goes ahead and places the lube around your slit and anus.

You jolt at the coldness of the liquid, yet you embrace the feeling as you’re aware that it’ll be necessary in minutes. His slender fingers writhing around your labia and inserting one into you as you gasp. But you were balling fists when he prepared your asshole next, the digits dancing around the foreign area before inserting them inside the puckered hole. “I know, sweetheart, but we don’t want to go hurting you or tear up some blood. Gotta be careful…”

Another nod sends the note of your cooperation, and wobbly breaths leave your lungs as your hole is stretched by the fingers fidgeting around.

“There we go, all lubed up nicely,” Geto coaxes. “Ready, Choso?”

“Yeah,” confirmed the other, removing his jeans and boxers to expose his legs fully as he lay on the couch, his cock now shielded with a condom. And Geto does the same, opening a wrapper of his own.

“Okay, baby,” Geto pats your shoulder. “Go ahead and mount him.”

You listen to him and finally get off the table surface, your knees stinging a bit until you maneuver to straddle on top of Choso; his lengthy cock is kind of intimidating to the eye — and the twitch of your pussy. Nevertheless, you breathe in and lift your pelvis until the tip of him meets your labia, and you gently push down to have his penis inserted inside.

Whining at the addition of him, you slowly but surely descend your hips downward until you meet the hilt. The sensation of your walls squeezing around him makes quivers travel up your shoulders. Using this moment to adjust to the foreign limb inside you, you steady your breathing before the next one is added.

This happens when Geto places his hands on your waist to massage you. “Bend for me, angel,” he coos, and you do so with your face drawing near Choso’s. Your heart runs laps from how adjacent you are to the two, so closely acquainted that it’s hard to believe.

Geto aligns his cock for the tip to meet your asshole; the lube applied earlier helped make the insertion easier to do. He gradually brings every inch of his girth into you, your wails more high-pitched from the stretch. Once he thinks he’s entirely inside, he begins to move.

However, you’re not sure if that was a good idea because once he moves, so does Choso. And–my God…–it is not an easy task to handle.

The two men go in a mutual rhythm, both of their cocks venturing inside you with every push and pull, scraping your insides in a manner your body cannot register at your own pace. The hits become ever so precise; grazes to your G-spot have you struggling to maintain your screams, and the stretch of your anus has your haze get more complicated to avoid.

The slow pace soon dials in speed, and at this point, you have to bite down on your lips not to let out a voice so others from outside can’t hear and ask what’s wrong.

“Nnmooh, hoooohmyGod, this is…!” Your hands grip on Choso’s shoulders as his cock scrapes your sweet spot once again. And when his hands come to your ass and bring you down, you choke at the poke of your cervix. “Gahaaahnn! Sh-Shtopp!! Not t’oo faaast…!”

“Shiiiit, sorry, cutie,” he kisses your cheek. “You just….Mmmph! Ff…Feel so damn good…”

“You’re right, I’m barely holding on here,” Geto agrees from behind, hands on your waist to keep the momentum going. “Fuuuck, this ass is so tight!” He throws his head back at the snug of your inner walls and sighs in bliss.

You, on the other hand, have the best worst end of the stick. Your ass and chasm are so busy that thinking straight is critically impossible. Your senses are so entranced and overwhelmed by the two men using you like a toy that you don’t know if you’ll be able to walk after this, eyes rolling at another jab of your cervix. And it doesn’t help that the others increase their pacing to an erratic cadence that makes your toes curl.

And then there’s the frequent rubs of your clitoris; every time Geto propels his dick into you, your clit rubs on Choso’s pelvis, grinding the delicate bud on his surface has you screaming and chewing on the brown-haired one’s shirt. The position creates an advantage for you, too; the more you lean forward, the better the angle for the cockheads of the two to dig at your inner channels to the point of incoherent babbles.

“Nnho–Oooh!” you choke out a sob, burying your face in Choso’s shoulders; his moans sound dreamy to the ear and have you twitching like crazy. “Too muuch..! T-This is insan—Nnngh!” The grind of Geto’s hips results in a silent scream. “J-JesusChrist! Pleaseee, can I please…!”

“Please, what?” Now, the dark-headed one speaks to you from behind, tugging on your leash again, making you yelp. “Speak properly, baby.”

“—Ahhck!! M-…May I please cum?” You looked over your shoulder at Geto as you sought permission, the leash owner chuckling at the submissive display.

He doesn’t say anything, though, letting the work of his pelvis and the flex of his abdomen leave the impression. More tugs to your collar have you crying like a baby until he lets go, and you accidentally land your forehead by Choso’s neck.

The brunette man subconsciously pats your head, soothing you as your orgasm climbs up. “It’s okay, angel,” he coos, a kiss to your temple. “Let it all out, ‘kay?” That much isn’t tricky to do when the plunges to your holes sync to a beat that furthers the trajectory of your orgasm. Your moans are slurred, your head becomes more clouded, and your figure prepares itself.

Your crescendo catches you hard, rocking your frame with shocks that creep up to your brain. Eyes widen from the jolts of your body as your cunt and asshole contract on the two limbs burrowed within, gripping Choso’s shirt to steady. Each jerk pairs with the tremble of your legs, nearly biting your tongue after another grind of your clit.

“—Haahh, shit…Good girl,” Choso brings your chin up, grazing the skin of your cheek with his calloused thumb. “Did so well,” he praises with a kiss to your lips, and you whimper at the contact as you accept his tongue with glee. His ruts increase, chasing his own peak like yours—Geto doing the same behind you.

“Yeaahhh, that’s it,” Geto exhales through his lips elatedly. “Still gotta few minutes left to finish, so keep still and let us make the most of them, okay, pretty girl?”

You voice no complaints, letting the rockstars do as promised with your body. There’s no doubt about it now—this is the best day of my life…!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Yo, where are they?”

“I know, right? It’s been way more than thirty minutes…”

“Hmm, I’m really starting to worry now,” Miwa and the girls, their gazes scanning the V.I.P. longue, stand at the exit. They were supposed to meet you here once the meet-and-greet session ended. Now, it’s been an hour since they last saw your face, their concern for you intensifying as they start to fear if something might have gone wrong. Not even listening to Bad Omens and scrolling through Instagram was helping their ease get any stabler.

“…I’ll call them,” the blue-haired girl claims as she pulls her phone out of her bag, the two other girls nodding and watching her hit your contact name and number before bringing the device to her ear.

Please answer, please answer, they chant in unison without knowing, crossing their fingers that they can hear your Bring Me the Horizon ringtone somewhere in there and hope that you’re safe, well, and on your way. Three pairs of eyes stay locked to the longue, hoping to see or hear anything familiar…

And like an angel to a prayer, they hear the jingle of “heavy metal” picked up from the crowd! But where were you?

“Hello?”

To their surprise, the girls jump in shock when they see you appear from behind rather than in front of them. You were safe and sound, all in one piece! They pull you in for a squealing hug, to which you join, completely uncaring for the weird looks you four get from fangirling.

“You!” Nobara pokes your chest. “Where have YOU been?! You were supposed to be here half an hour ago!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you apologize to the brunette and company. “I didn’t mean to scare you three.”

“Well, ya did!” Leave it to Momo to give you an earful. “I don’t care if we could’ve gotten kicked out or whatever; if we hadn’t heard your phone, we might’ve just waltzed in there and found you ourselves.”

“Again, my bad…I knew I was gonna be a little late getting you guys these,” you grab their attention with the swing of your arm, seeing your hand holding onto three bags. “But I’m sure these would’ve been worth the wait.”

Miwa tilts her head. “What’s those?”

“Close your eyes and pull out your hands,” they all give you a skeptical look. “Just do it!” They roll their eyes and close them, stretching their empty hands for you. After checking that their eyes were sewn shut, you pull out the bag’s contents and place an item in their respective owners’ hands. “Okay, you can open them now.”

They do as they’re told, and their jaws meet the floor. “A-Are–Are these the,” the short blonde girl can barely speak. “The Super V.I.P. pa-package deal bags?? With all the merch and–and the signed album??!!”

“Yup!” You beam as your friends rummage through their bags and pull out the contents to awe and stutter in excitement. “I got mine here as well, completely free of charge, as it took a while to get them. Pretty neat, huh? And I can’t let you guys leave all empty-handed, you know? I wouldn’t have been in this concert without you all making it possible!”

The girls pulled you in for another embrace, squeezing you to death with praises and cheers. “Thank you so much!!” They all jump for joy. “You’re the best!!”

“I know~,” you tease and hug back. “And guess what they gave me as a gift?” The three let go of you so you can point to your brand-new O-ring collar with a gleeful grin.

They gasp and parade around you. “Oh, you lucky bitch!” Nobara exclaims as you cackle in victory. “You know you gotta tell us all about the meet-and-greet session, right?”

“Sure,” you nod. “I don’t know about the whole thing, though; some stuff is better left unshared~.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Momo retorts. “You better give us all the deets, ya hear me?”

“Uhh, guys,” Miwa stirs the conversation to a different topic. “My mom just ordered us an Uber, and I think it’s around five minutes away from the stadium.”

“Ahh shit, so we better hurry out now!” The girls quickly stuff everything back into their bags and begin power walking to where they need to be picked up. Momo turns back to you, ��Don’t fall behind; we’re not trying to leave the oldest baby here!”

“I’m coming!” You say through fast struts, ensuring you’re within the group’s perimeter.

However, knowing their attention is not on you anymore, you pull your purse around and pull out a note. Secret to your friends’ eyes, you sneak a chance to look and see what it says. Your heart skips with your steps, and your smile grows tenfold with the endearing words and two sets of phone numbers written on the paper…

To our biggest and most loyal fan,

It was nice having you all to ourselves a bit for the evening; hope this night won’t be the last night we ever get to see you. We know your IG, but have our numbers while you’re at it. Don’t be afraid to send a text or call when we’re in town. We’ll be here for the weekend, so how about mixing you in our schedule if ya want? ;3

See you around, enjoy the gifts, and let us know the next time you see us live!

Best,

C&DP

5K notes · View notes

suckseed · 9 months ago

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Before You Follow

‎‎ Good day, and welcome to my personal page. Seano Malaskar is my full name; you can address me as Laskar. However, I'm open to various nicknames as long as they don’t offend either side. I went with the pronouns He/Him. There's no need to worry because I've reached my legal age (about 24 this year). For more information, I’m a Cancerian man who took the MBTI exam and was classified as an ISFJ.

Interests

‎‎ I enjoy music from various genres; Alternative Rock, Screamo, Pop-Rock, Pop-Punk, Indie-Pop, J-Rock, Melodic Metalcore, Heavy Metal, Post-Hardcore, Rock-Electronic, Nu Metal, Emo, and others. My favorite bands and singers are Bring Me The Horizon, One Ok Rock, Linkin Park, Avenged Sevenfold, Greenday, 5 Seconds of Summer, The Neighborhood, XXXtentacion, Nadin Amizah, Centimillimental, and many more.

‎‎ I’m also a casual listener of K-Pop music. Regarding the group, I’m simply stan ENHYPEN. Although I don't know much about it, I enjoy BTS, Tomorrow x Together, Itzy, Le Sserafim, and Seventeen.

‎‎ I enjoy films in the Horror, Mystery, Science-Fiction, Crime, Rom-Com, and other film genres. I don't watch anime very often, but I do enjoy a few of them, particularly those in the Boys Love genre. I'm also interested in guitars as musical instruments.

Do Not Follow or Interact

‎‎ I’m willing to accept minors (at least 16 years old) since I can ensure that my account is safe from anything linked to 18+. Nonetheless, I hope you don’t swallow everything I tweet on this account and continue to filter existing information wisely. So, take your own risks. Never hesitate to do a soft BUB on me, as I do the same thing.

‎‎ Please do not follow or interact with me, if:

Anti-LGBT or Queer-Phobic, as I am also part of this community.

Refuse to interact with me.

Zionist or Pro-Israel.

Racist.

Disrespectful.

A dramatist.

Feeling uncomfortable and bothered by real-life things or interests-related that I occasionally tweet about on my account.

‎‎ Please know that my DM is always accessible to everyone. As a result, please don’t hesitate to contact me for a casual conversation or to discuss anything. I also welcome anyone who needs a friend or somewhere to vent their frustrations. However, please ask first about my capability to answer within the time frame we agreed on.

‎‎ Meanwhile, if you have something you want to say but don't want to reveal who you are, you can reach me via retrospring. (Please don’t use this platform to spread hate speech against specific parties or persons.)

‎‎ Please keep in mind that I’m the type of person who answers slowly to messages because I’m either too busy in real life or because my energy is easily drained (As expected of an introvert). However, I can tell you that I will answer to all of your messages. So, I’ll see you around, pals!

‎‎ Meet me on 𝕏.

#Spotify

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existentialmagazine · 10 months ago

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Review: Crashing Castles’ new genre-blending single ‘Fireflies’ weaves together synthwave and rock into one atmospheric dream

Inspired by mixed rock & electronic music, Crashing Castles follow in the footsteps of acts like Bring Me The Horizon, Linkin Park and Pendulum with their own striking originality to match. With their first single only debuted last year, Crashing Castles have already amassed over 2,000 monthly listeners on Spotify and it’s without a doubt for good reason, as it certainly won’t be long before they’re not just taking over digitally but on stages across the world.

Now beginning 2024 with their most recent and second offering ‘Fireflies’, they only further build upon the mass of momentum stored beforehand, connecting once again to their dedicated listeners with something vivacious and bold. Cascading in with striking electronic beats that almost seem to ripple out of the soundscape, the atmospherics of ‘Fireflies’ soar right off the bat, shimmering through the most vibrant pops of colour and sound. This is only further elevated by pulsating, darker synth twangs, a contrasting blend between a lo-fi front and emotionally clouded undertone.

The opening verse cuts short this mesmerising beginning, clashing in with thumping drums that add a raw edge to the sound’s opposingly electronically-heavy production. Otherwise continuing through their pre-established palette of synth and vapourwave-esque beats, Crashing Castles introduce impressively soaring vocals, smothering their emotion behind light synthetic feeling effects while rising and falling through an infinite feeling range. The instrumental elements continue their diverse layerings around this, building-upwards with a more intense patchwork of scattered sounds and beats that mould together a thumping electro-based tempo, fizzling synth, bright keys and so much more always weaving into new fluctuations.

Taking inspiration from the Donkey Kong Country soundtrack, in particular ‘Stickerbrush Symphony’, as well as old video game soundtracks, ‘Fireflies’ definitely feels retro and nostalgic at heart. Keeping a hold of that wistful air and burying it through their carefully crafted sound, you can’t help but feel that even though ‘Fireflies’ is bright and positive, it's drawn-out notes capture so much more hidden depth. A perhaps unintended modern air rings through too though, reminiscent of the recent Ghostunner 2’s cyberpunk-ladened soundtrack as well as Subnautica’s soundtrack and its’ unexpectedly electronic lean.

As they sing of the finite nature of life, Crashing Castles don’t just deliver a completely enthralling sound in ‘Fireflies’ but an equally integral message beneath, urging you to remember both your loved ones here and those passed on that have shaped you into who you are today. From lines like ‘just a fleeting point in time, but it means more than we know’, they don’t hesitate to look deeper into our existence as humans, an existential lean that is thoughtfully aware of how short our mere lives may be. Continuing ‘I’m looking for the answers we don’t have questions for’, they delve even further below the surface, unbothered by the typical questions of our existence but instead seeking answers where they know no bounds. Finding a solace in those we miss dearly in the universe above, Crashing Castles sing the all-too comforting line ‘we look up to the stars, and see a piece of us’, finding a sense of guidance and familiarity in the sky above where our loved ones may reside. Centred so much around the unknown, ‘Fireflies’ thrives by simply allowing you to feel without believing in any one notion, just finding your own peace in being alive and carrying your love at the forefront of everything.

With a euphoric end that pushes everything to the max, as well as introduces some new elements like highly spirited saxophone and orchestral strings, ‘Fireflies’ really looks to be a single that encompasses elements from a handful of styles into something unlike anything before it. It’s without a doubt that ‘Fireflies’ is a one-of-a-kind atmospheric dream through and through, painting pictures of vast scenic worlds that you can only really understand if you listen along for yourself here. You definitely won’t regret giving Crashing Castles a moment of your time before they’ll undoubtably be giving the world theirs.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

#tatiana

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deejadabbles · 3 years ago

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What happens when you hand YGO characters the AUX cord

idk what possessed me to make these but here ya go. Also I guess call me the 4kids of headcanons, I don't know a lot of music that isn't american-centric, so if you know some bands from other countries that could go with these please feel free to add them! <3

Yugi: I stand by the common headcanon that Yugi loves Heavy Metal. BUT this is also Yugi we're talking about, and he knows not everyone can handle the intensity of heavy metal, so often times he'll play more mild/main-stream metal or nu-metal. Something (or, rather, anything) by Linkin Park usually gets played. Three Day's Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Shine Down, NOTHING from your teen EMO phase is off the table for Yugi (plays Bring Me To Life because him and Anzu sing the "WAKE ME UP" parts perfectly together). ALSO!! I think Yugi would love Grunge music, plays Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana every. time. he's gets to control the music.

Atem: it took our pharaoh boi a long time to find his own taste in music. He does genuinely like a lot of Yugi's music but the more he listened to stuff on his own, the more he realizes that he just likes...vibe music. Ya know, music that just has a ~vibe~ like Telepatia by Kali Uchis or Electric Love by Borns (Jou jokes that it's good music to get stoned to). Also, anything Hozier makes instantly goes on his favorite songs. He's also kind of a sap for dramatic love songs. Actually, anything dramatic is up his alley so fully expect to hear some Adele or Conan Gray or Billie Eilish when you tell him to play something.

Anzu: has a wide taste in music but will exclusively play *hot girl* songs like WAP, Deepthroat, Thot Shit, and Bisexual Anthem when given the power of the playlist. Mostly does it because she loves seeing some of the boys get all squeamish hearing women belting about dirty shit. If begged she'll play other music, and in that case she'll play some Halsey, Rick Montgomery, MARINA, and so on. Yes, she does love her dance music (you can pry Lady Gaga and Black Pink from her cold dead hands!!) but she listens to so much of that while working that when she's hanging with the gang she usually goes for other types of music she likes.

Jonouchi: because of his delinquent days he listens to lots of rap music. Takayan, Eminem, and other "angry" rap dominate a big part of his playlists (but!! once he's able to embrace his nerd side he'd totally like nerd rap like JT music). He also likes K-pop tho, probably stans EXO. All in all he likes stuff with a hard beat, the kind of stuff you'd find in workout play list. Freaks by Timmy Trumpet, Turn Down for What and other Lil Jon stuff, even Harlem Shake. If you can punch bullies to it, he likes it! Anzu also gave him a deep appreciation for Nicki Minaj, dont fight me on this.

Honda: Mostly likes Rock music and all the ambiguous variety that label provides. Bon Jovi, Foo Fighters, and Killers are particular faves of his. Also fully expect him to play several Imagine Dragons songs, and 00's/10's songs like Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse, Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon, It's Not Over by Daughtry, etc. Tends to play his "soft" rock songs to off-set Yugi's rough metal, Jou's angry rap, and Anzu's dirty girl songs. Honestly, Honda is usually in charge of the music because everyone can get behind his music, the only one who bitches is Otogi and it's just because he likes bullying Honda, not because he actually dislikes the music.

Speaking of!

Otogi: has shit taste in music. Sorry, it's canon I don't make the rules. No one ever lets him pick the music because he'll just play whatever song has it's sample trending on tiktok at the moment. And he'll play it on repeat. Does he do this just to troll everyone else? No one knows. You'd think the resident Casanova would make better music choices, but no.

Ryou: loves show tunes and will usually play go to his "Broadway hits" playlist to make things easy, but throws in Disney songs too. Every time he plays We Don't Talk About Bruno the gang breaks into song! Besides that, Ryou plays lots of Sleeping At Last and Sam Smith, kinda sad moody stuff ya know? Echo by Jason Walker, ok on your own by mxmtoon, Hello My Old Heart by the Oh Hellos, or Ghosting by Mother Mother usually makes an appearance. Anything with a mellow sound basically. He also(!!!) has lots of ambient/vocal-free music mixed in there, he knows a lot of that stuff from making background music for his RPG campaigns and, adjacent to those, found a genuine appreciation for lofi and synthwave! (like Atem, he appreciate a good ~vibe~)

#headcanons #yugioh #yugi muto #atem #anzu mazaki #katsuya jonouchi #hiroto honda #ryuji otogi #ryou bakura #idk these were nice to make tho #I only used songs that I personally know so I'd love to hear other people's music picks!!#ygo

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prettysweetprettysweet · 2 years ago

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this bring us closer than dying, and cancer, and crying - a Pete playlist

If you, like me, would like to stew in toxicity until Vegas/Pete knocks us all on our asses in 10 hours, I have put together two playlists that follows the emotional trajectory of their relationship in the show and novel. Composed of emotional and fucked up songs I listened to in my youth, mostly late 90s and early 2000s alternative rock (content warning, a few songs deal with heavy themes).

(Click here for the Vegas playlist)

Continue below for abridged lyrics.

1. Midlife Crisis - Faith No More

Go on and wring my neck, like when a rag gets wet A little discipline for my pet genius My head is like lettuce, go on, dig your thumbs in I cannot stop giving, I'm thirty-something Morbid self-attention, bending my pinky back A little discipline, a donor by habit Sense of security, holding blunt instrument I'm a perfectionist, and perfect is a skinned knee

2. Animal - Pearl Jam

Torture from you to me Abducted from the street I'd rather be I'd rather be with I'd rather be with an animal Why would you want to hurt me? So frightened of your pain

3. Control - Puddle of Mudd

I love the way you look at me, I feel the pain you place inside You lock me up inside your dirty cage while I'm alone inside my mind I like to teach you all the rules, I get to see them set in stone I like it when you chain me to the bed, but then your secrets never show I need to feel you You need to feel me I can't control you You're not the one for me, no I love the way you rake my skin I feel the hate you place inside I need to get your voice out of my head I love the way you look at me I love the way you smack my ass I love the dirty things you do I have control of you

4. Whatever - Godsmack

You're pathetic in your own way I don't need to fantasize You are my pet all the time I don't care if you go blind You get what you get until you're through with my... I feel for you, better fuckin' go away I will behave, better fuckin' go away I'm doin' the best I ever did I'm doin' the best that I can

5. Wicked Garden - Stone Temple Pilots

I wanna run through your wicked garden Heard that's the place to find you 'Cause I'm alive, so alive now I know the darkness blinds you Can you see without eyes? Can you speak without lies? I wanna drink from your naked fountain I can drown your sorrows I'm gonna burn, burn you to life now Out of the chains that bind you Can you see just like a child? Can you see just what I want? Can I bring you back to life? Are you still alive? Burn, burn, burn Burn your wicked garden down Burn, burn, burn Burn your wicked garden to the ground Can you feel pain inside? Can you love? Can you cry?

6. 4 ° - Tool

Get up, get up now And free yourself from yourself Locked up inside you, like the calm beneath castles is a cavern of treasures that no one has been to Let's go digging, bring it out and then take it back in If you knock me down, I'll just come back running Knock you down, it won't be long now All the way in, all the way in All the way in, all the way in Give in now, and let me in You'll like this, this brings us out You'll like this It brings us closer than dying and cancer and crying Take it, take it You can take it all Just like that

7. Wth>You - Linkin Park ft Aceyalone (Chairman Hahn Remix)

I woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor Forgot all about yesterday Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore I know love is love, love, and sometimes it pains me No, with or without you, I’ll always be with you You’ll never forget me, I’m keeping you with me No, I won’t let you take me to the end of my rope While you burn it and torture my soul No, I’m not your puppet And, no, no, no, I won’t let you go You, now I see, keeping everything inside You, now I see, even when I close my eyes

8. I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet Every roommate kept awake By every sigh and scream we make All the feelings that I get But I still don't miss you yet Only when I stop to think about it I hate, you hate I hate, you love me I hate everything about you Why do I love you?

9. The Red - Chevelle

They say 'Freak' when you're singled out The red, well, it filters through This change, he won't contain Slip away to clear your mind When asked who made it show The truth, he gives in to most So lay down The threat is real When his sight goes red again Seeing red again

10. Nice to Know You - Incubus

I haven't felt the way I feel today in so long, it's hard for me to specify I'm beginning to notice how much this feels like a waking limb pins and needles Could it be that it had been there all along? Nice to know you, goodbye

#kinnporsche #vegaspete #yo mismo #pete

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the-demi-jedi · 3 years ago

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"Horizons" first impressions

Okay, so I finally have time to properly listen to the new "Horizons" songs, and this post is just me screaming into the void about my first impressions. You can either join me on the ride, or ignore my ramblings, the choice is yours to make.

First of all. GOD BLESS Starset for putting lyrics in the videos on Youtube. I have auditory processing like an earthworm and lyric videos are straight up a blessing.

Ok, let's start.

Otherworldly

- This makes my hopeless romantic demisexual heart VERY happy - Seriously though the lyrics - I want this playing on my wedding - However every Starset love song makes me so fucking lovelorn like I've never wanted to hold a hand so badly never I SWEAR - Okay okay I'm fine - The heavier sounds mixed with those whimsical violins are top notch - Overall very good. Beautiful. Romantic as fuck.

Icarus

- Hooo boy been waiting for this one - 15 seconds in, instant love - It's EXACTLY how I hoped it to be - iii-caaa-RUUUUS permanently in my head for the rest of today - The lyrics are a PERSONAL CALL-OUT - Amazing, majestic, game-changing

Annihilated Love

- Okay, this one is slower and darker - Kinda TOO slow for my taste but let's not judge too quickly - The war-themed lyrics slightly remind me of "The One Who Laughs Last" by Downplay - It's like... it's missing something. I can't tell what it is. - But for someone who went through a rough breakup, this song has to be THERAPEUTIC - The weakest so far, still very good

Alchemy

- Starting off strong - "Synthesized and transformed, pathetic life form" this is AWESOME - Whatever "Annihilated Love" was missing, this one has plentiful - It's like a sequel to "Telekinetic" - Great song. I'm pleased.

Disappear

- That subtle sound in the background is a brilliant detail - It's kinda hard to catch the melody - Heavy "Dark On Me" vibes - VIOLENT FLASHBACK to my 1st real crush who ghosted me for no reason. Mr. Bates, was it really necessary to be so PERSONAL??? - The emotion is so genuine here - The heavier breakthroughs are much appreciated - Awesome song. Brings some memories tho.

This Endless Endeavor

- IS THAT LINKIN PARK??? - I guess this one will take me a few listens to get into it - The parts about the north star are beautiful tho - It emanates some mood I can't describe but I understand well. This song will be great for a lonely walk. - Not the best on the album, still gets my stamp of approval

Symbiotic

- This one is HYPED so I have high expectations - I didn't expect it to be so... upbeat? - It's... basically a love song? - My expectations were met but definitely NOT in a way I expected - Definitely in the upper half of the album. Catchy as hell.

Dreamcatcher

- For some reason I absolutely love this one - Musically it's like slightly above average, but I'm a SUCKER for positive, uplifting songs and this one SLAPS - It's genius that "Dreamcatcher" isn't used as the Native American artifact, but like "one who catches dreams". Impeccable - Headcanon: "Dreamcatcher" is "Icarus" who got his shit together - Easily one of my favorites

Tunnelvision

-Was waiting for the fun song with a catchy beat like "Telepathic" or "Faultline". Found it. - I LEGIT EXPECTED HIM TO SAY GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS - Probably the most fun to listen to - If I understand it right, this song is mocking the right-wing wackos and I'm HERE FOR IT - Dustin just went apeshit and it worked.

Something Wicked

- Another hyped song but I'm kinda nervous about it - Exactly as creepy as I expected - "The crucifix in my hand's a lie" woah calm down edgy boi - There is something so unnerving and depressing about this song I don't know if I'll be able to listen to it just casually. Maybe it's the religious imagery, maybe the utter hopelessness - It has definitely left a strong impression in me but this time I don't exactly mean it in a positive way - Love this song, but at the same time hate it so much. I'll definitely skip it when the Big Sad will try to sink in.

DUSTIN PAUL BATES DID YOU REALLY END A FUCKING MUSICAL ALBUM WITH A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER? THAT'S UNREAL

Current top 5 for the whole album:

1. Leaving This World Behind 2. Earthrise 3. Icarus 4. Alchemy 5. Dreamcatcher Honorable mentions: Symbiotic, Tunnelvision, Otherworldly

#starset #horizons #dustin bates #icarus #otherworldly #annihilated love #alchemy #disappear #this endless endeavor #symbiotic #dreamcatcher #tunnelvision #something wicked

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waitingfortheendtocome · 4 years ago

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Forced to Let Go CH 1

I wrote this a while a go and posted it on my AO3 account. I was meaning to post it here but I kept putting it off until I completely forgot about it lol. This is a Jemily(JJ/Emily) three chapter Fic. It was meaning to be a one-shot but It grew too long so I split it into three parts. I was listening to Easier to Run and My December by Linkin Park, as well as Britney’s song called Everytime which where the songs that inspired this fic so I was listening to those songs while writing them.

Gif’s I use aren’t mine credit goes to the creator I don’t know who made it I borrowed it off the gif sets tumblr gives you.

Warning: angst, angst, angst and more angst. Heartbreak, self-doubt, loneliness

Chapter One

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Emily’s Apartment

Emily walked numbly into her apartment early in the evening. She had just got back from working the local case which happens to be a bank robbery case. She didn’t exactly enjoy the case but it made her realize just how badly she needed to get away. Besides the bank exploding near her, trying to solve the difficult case and saving the victims, she had to save none other than Will which to her felt like an insult to injury. Things with JJ haven’t exactly been all that great and perhaps that was her fault but she could hardly be blamed. Her and JJ were the best of friends technically they were past being best of friends at this point they were lovers.

JJ had been the first person who welcomed her into the team, the first person who treated her like an equal and made her feel welcoming. Emily fell for her the moment she laid eyes on her, Emily knew she was screwed the moment JJ smiled brightly at her and shook her hand. Maybe all along Emily read too much into it but the small smiles and the light blushes the lingering touches that accompanied them when they started getting closer and becoming best friends. Emily and JJ hung out often but what caused Emily to confirm her feelings was after they shared a room for the first time and began having intimate conversations Emily was casual when JJ mentioned dating other women and told the younger woman that she dated and been with women since is her preference. Emily had studied the thoughtful look JJ carried but it wasn’t brought up again at least not until months later where it was followed by a kiss.

Emily should have tried harder to resist but she couldn’t help it by that time Emily knew she was in love but knew she would never come forward first and express her feelings first. For one she hadn’t wanted to get hurt and two she didn’t know how JJ felt for her whether it was her experimenting or her actually having feelings for her and wanting more. Safe to say she now knows exactly what JJ feels for her as well what this whole seven plus years were to the woman she considers a best friend. Nothing more than an experimentation, something to get her curiosity out of her system. Emily felt her heart shatter at the idea that to JJ all this time it wasn’t anything more than an experiment.

Emily walked into her kitchen shaking the thought out of her head and grabbed her bottle of wine, a wine glass and sat in her living room filling her cup not even bothering to turn the lights on. What was the point? The darkness around her for once it felt welcoming and it fit her depressing mood. Her heartbreak, betrayal and loneliness. The feelings once alienating to her she now welcomed it like a second skin, this no longer felt like home to her.

“Maybe I really am meant to be alone.” Emily grumbled to herself as she filled her glass

But her thought wandered again as she took her first large gulp of wine back to the blonde and Emily hated herself for even thinking about her but she couldn’t help it. Emily was in love with the blonde despite the heartbreak she was currently nursing. After that one kiss JJ and Emily ended up having sex casually at first but it became frequent especially when they shared a room or JJ stayed over. Emily’s hopes started to grow the more they hung out together believing things might lead to more but it never did so Emily waited patiently which slowly became hopeless when they went to New Orleans and saw JJ spend a little too much time with that detective Will which lo and behold the two ended up secretly dating so Emily ended her whatever it was with JJ which became hopeless when the blonde showed up in Emily’s old apartment questioning why she was distant.

Emily got confused until JJ pointed out why they weren’t hanging out like they use to until Emily felt offended letting JJ know that they can’t have sex because she is with Will. JJ obviously got offended and stated nothing was serious to say Emily ended up having angry sex was understatement if JJ’s loud reactions was anything to go by but much to her own frustration neither bothered to stop their casual sex. Even after Doyle came back when they were in Paris the two were going at it but now that Doyle was dead and things were going back to normal Emily just couldn’t do it. She felt broken, confined in her own skin and felt alone. She just didn’t feel the same anymore so two weeks ago she ended up confronting JJ about it. Emily couldn’t handle being someone else's dirty little secret. Being someone else's secret fling. A second choice. Even if that person was JJ who she loved.

Emily loved JJ. She fell in love with her, her bright personality, compassion, kindness, her beautiful smile to match all her beauty. JJ was Emily’s light. Emily’s anger. Even then Emily couldn’t be second best to Will so she had confronted JJ about it. That led to a heavy discussion and JJ’s last words before Emily promptly left JJ’s hotel room during the Oregon satanic ritual case broke and shattered Emily into millions of pieces. Not only that but it only proved that the blonde didn’t feel the same way despite JJ’s countless reminders but Emily just didn’t feel it.

**********************************************************************

Flashback

Oregon-JJ’s Hotel room

Emily tried to hold back her tears as she looked away from JJ and out the window as a form of distraction. She knew if she looked at JJ she'd break down. She wondered why she even bothered coming to the hotel room to bring up what they were or even ask if they could be more. She assumed JJ felt the same way. They have been secretly having sex for years now so she just assumed the feelings were mutual. Emily herself tried several times to stop it due to JJ and Will but the blonde didn’t seem to think so saying that it was okay as long as no one found out which made Emily slightly uncomfortable but ignored it. She had been content with at least having JJ in some form so they continued. Emily got the courage to talk to JJ about it, to ask her what they were and if they can be something more. Although Emily wasn’t outright with the last request knowing it was a bad idea so instead she hinted it in a way that can be brushed off quickly.

To say it was a mistake was an understatement because they began to talk about their feelings and JJ reassuring Emily how much she loved her but and wanted to be with her but couldn’t according to JJ she couldn’t hurt Will or do that to him which baffled Emily due to the fact that she technically was going behind his back but Emily didn’t voice it instead she looked away. Granted when Emily began to see how close JJ and Will were becoming due to Emily’s request she had insisted on them not sleeping as often the only times they did was when they were overwhelmed from a case or spontaneous but spread out in actuality Paris was the last time they were in bed together. JJ tried a few times but Emily refused now glad she put her foot down because here she was standing in the blondes hotel room getting her heart broken on top of everything else she is going through right now.

“Emily please say something.” JJ asked her voice cracking trying to contain her own emotions heartbroken over having hurt her best friend

“I’m not asking you to leave him, he is your safety net, comfort. What you’re expected to marry and spend all your life with. I would never ask you to leave him. I just needed to know if I had a shot. A chance. If you would have given us a chance but I know what sacrifices that made JJ I’ve been out for most of my life now remember,” Emily told her shaking her head feeling hurt and betrayed, “Those times JJ, the intimacy I will always cherish them. You know I love you dearly Jayje, but at the end of the day after we have sex I look beside me to find the side of the bed meant to be yours cold and empty. I wished to have you wake up beside me every morning, wrap my arms around you and hold you while you fix yourself coffee in the morning and I whisper I love you. Take you out on dates, show you the world because you deserve that and more. All this sneaking around I realize now I can’t anymore. I can’t do it anymore. Especially not after everything that has happen.” Emily turned away from JJ barely able to contain her own tears.

JJ's eyes become glassy from the unshed tears, “I’m sorry Emily. I love you. I truly love you and wished to be with you but I can't. I don’t want to hurt Will and I can’t make that kind of commitment. I’m so sorry Emily.” JJ whispered between sobs

Emily shook her head with a sigh and walked away with an indifferent shrug but paused to squeeze JJ’s shoulder as a form of letting her know that they aren’t any hard feelings despite her shattered heart.

“It’s fine JJ I wasn’t expecting you to and I knew what your answer would be but I can’t continue sleeping with you either. It isn’t fair for me or Will. I care about you Jayje and don’t worry this wont fuck up us working together or our friendship just pretend we didn’t have this conversation is for the best.” Emily told her as she opened the door and walked away.

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Emily’s Apartment

Emily shook the memory away and got up from her chair and walked to the bedroom putting down the now half empty bottle of wine and dropped on her bed curling into a ball and sobbed uncontrollably no longer able to contain her heartbreak anymore. What was the point after years of giving someone all your love and them not even bothering to give it back. Emily remembered all the touches, kisses, caresses and whispers of affections they’ve shared. Waking up beside each other in their shared hotel rooms the rare times they get to share a hotel feeling content and happy to wake up beside the woman she loved than realizing those are the only times they wake up together and her heart would ache at all over again. Emily wondered if Doyle was right all along. His whispering words hunting her whispering how she’ll never have the woman she loves and will end up alone with no one. Emily's body shook remembering the painful stab wound and equally painful branding mark that she still had on her. She was going to get the blackbird tattoo but now just the thought brought out more heartache. She’s going to get it but will have to wait until she wasn’t hurting which was worse she hated the brand mark.

What made it worse was fate slapping her in the face by forcing her to save Will. At the end of the day she ended up saving him for JJ’s and Henry’s sake not even for Will’s sake since Emily never found him interesting and found him slightly boring but she didn’t know what JJ saw in him. Saving him was Emily’s tipping point. Emily’s breaking point was what led her into drinking half a bottle of wine was the text she received from Garcia letting her know what Will proposed to JJ and she said yes. Emily knew that was an impulsive request for marriage and knew it was JJ who requested it and that hurt the most especially when Emily knew JJ never wanted to marry him. Emily secretly knows she pushed JJ to him and hates herself with passion for it. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be here and see them together anymore. What's worse in two days they are going to say ‘ I do' . Two days if that didn’t scream rushed wedding before she changed her mind then Emily wasn’t sure what did.

Emily laid in her bed for what seemed like hours, her bedroom as dark as the rest of her apartment sobbing every time she thought she was getting it under control another fresh wave of tears fell and another heavy sob broke out of her causing her to sob even harder. Until her body tired itself out and she ended up crying herself to sleep. A few lone tears flowing out of her eyes even when she slept, her shoulders tense and body curled up as if attempting to protect herself from her own heartache.

*********************************************************

Next Morning

Emily stirred awake not sure how long she was asleep let along. She sat up feeling a headache but didn’t care. Emily woke up worse than when she was the night before. Memories of the night before coming back to her quickly, the case, Emily’s call from Clyde, the discussion she had with JJ weeks before, Emily distancing herself somewhat from the blonde. She still went to team gatherings and the girls nights but she no longer let JJ sleep over nor did she linger back when they were parting ways. Now any time Garcia calls to go home Emily leaves with her or quickly after but now Emily realized she couldn’t do it anymore. Emily felt broken she couldn’t have this life back. Doyle took her life from her, taking it back like nothing and going back like nothing happened made her realize that he destroyed that for her. Emily realized now that the only thing that kept her here was also taken from her and she no longer had a chance with.

JJ was the only thing that kept her here. The hope that they can be together but now that is gone too. Emily stuck around hoping that she still had a chance to be with JJ especially after the conversation they had in Paris where JJ promised they’ll meet again and even hinted at them being official and her giving Emily a chance. Emily grabbed her phone and texted Clyde letting him know she accepted the offer and will fly to London the following evening. Now all Emily had to do is take today is back her suitcases book a flight. She didn’t have to worry about the furniture since she could pay the landlord to get rid of it.

Emily didn’t think she just pulled out all her suitcases and began the slow process of packing her bags.

“Come on Emily…. Don’t think about it just pack and leave don’t look back.” Emily told herself

#Criminal Minds #Jennifer Jereau #Emily Prentiss #jemily #jemily angst #jemily fanfiction #jemily story #JJxEmily #jj/emily #jj and emily #jennifer jereau/emily prentiss

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writerjuliannaf · 3 years ago

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Thank you so much @laurajournal for tagging me!! I had a blast participating ❤︎

About Me~

MUSIC

Favorite genre(s)?

Rock, Folk, Eighties, Pop, Alternative/Indie

Favorite song(s)?

1. Wrecked by Imagine Dragons

2. Follow You by Imagine Dragons

3. The Funeral by Band of Horses

4. Little Did I Know by Julia Michaels

5. Stakes by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

6. When We Were Young by The Killers

7. Lost by Dermot Kennedy

8. Papercut by LINKIN PARK

9. Fix You by Coldplay

10. Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

11. So Far Away by Staind

12. Everything Changes by Staind (… if I could keep going, I would)

Most listened song recently?

If The World Was Ending by Julia Michaels & JP Saxe (I’m a sucker for duets)

Song currently stuck in your head?

Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

5 favorite lyrics?

1. Now that we're here, it’s so far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

All in the mistakes

One life contained

They all finally start to go away

Now that we're here, it’s so far away

And I feel like I can face the day,

And I can forgive

And I'm not ashamed

To be the person that I am today

~ So Far Away by Staind

2. But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could

Learn how to feel

Then we could

Stay here together

And we could

Conquer the world

If we could

Say that forever

~ Everything Changes by Staind (Aaron Lewis’ voice just sends me right back to my childhood)

3. Loud thunder, heavy rain

Thin line 'tween joy and pain

It's a long strange trip, it's all insane

You ain't never gonna be the same

~ Loud and Heavy by Cody Jinks

4. Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out

Will you fix me up?

Will you show me hope?

At the end of the day, you were helpless

Can you keep me close?

Can you love me most?

~ Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

5. Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

~ Lullaby by Nickelback

Pick!

BOOKS

Favorite book series?

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer & The Lorien Legacies by Pittacus Lore

Comfort book(s)?

The Merchant’s Daughter, The Captive Maiden, and The Golden Braid —all by Melanie Dickerson

Favorite book(s)?

Divergent by Veronica Roth and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Perfect book(s) to read on a rainy day?

Hendrix by softsloth (an amazing werewolf romance on Wattpad) and You Are Not Alone by penbehindthemask (the BEST Phantom of The Opera fanfic on Wattpad)

Favorite character(s)?

Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Four, Jo March, Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester, and Six —from The Lorien Legacies

5 favorite quotes from your favorite books?

1. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me.” ~Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

2. “I’ll be your family now.” ~Insurgent by Veronica Roth

3. “Penguins. Lovely.” ~Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

4. “One of the gifts our planet gave us is to love completely. Without jealousy or insecurity or fear. Without pettiness. Without anger.” ~I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore

5. “It was too mangy. A little bit like you.” ~Her Wolf King (THE BEST Beauty & The Beast/Jane Eyre retelling) by @linsimin

Pick!

TV AND MOVIES

Favorite tv/movie genre(s)?

Romance, Fantasy, Superheroes, Comedy, Action/Adventure, Dystopian, and Sci-Fi

Comfort movie(s)?

Jane Eyre (2011 version), Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar, Pride & Prejudice, The Silver Linings Playbook, Ratatouille, The Phantom of The Opera, LOTR, and The Hobbit (… I wish I could keep going)

Movie you watch every year?

The Santa Clause

Favorite movie?

X-Men

Favorite tv show(s)?

The Office, Portlandia, Fruits Basket, Friends, Wolverine and The X-Men, Last Man Standing, Cobra Kai, Man With a Plan, Gilmore Girls, Sweet Magnolias, #blackAF, Dr. Who, North & South, Adventure Time (… and the list is neverending)

Comfort tv show?

The Office

Most rewatched tv show?

The Office

5 Favorite tv/movie characters?

1. Logan Howlett from X-Men

2. Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls

3. Michael Scott from The Office

4. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket

5. Cindy Berman from Fear Street

Pick!

I tag: @sincerelyrachelr @linsimin and anyone else who wants to join in on the fun 🌸

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princessconsuelapark · 4 years ago

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my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what. Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into ��stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat) You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

#spn playlist #supernatural playlist #sam and dean playlist #wincest playlist #sam and dean #wincest #sam x dean #spn #supernatural #wincest quotes #wincest song recs #this is how i'm coping with the show ending okay #leave me alone i'm sad #spn s15 #my post #sam winchester #dean winchester #15x20 #the epic love story of sam and dean

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thelittlestcheshire · 4 years ago

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if it weren't for you meddling kids...

A collection of seven playlists about my character’s inner-muse dynamics with one another.

playlist i: you’ll always be the one i love the most

a general balo and ches playlist

team (lorde) [not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things. livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. and you know, we're on each other's team] // drag me down (one direction) [all my life, you stood by me when no one else was ever behind me. all these lights, they can't blind me, with your love, nobody can drag me down] // brave honest beautiful ( fifth harmony ft. meghan trainor ) [don't go and waste your precious time, with all the nonsense on your mind. no, don't criticize yourself no more, you got a smile worth fighting for] // told you so (little mix) [girl, just come 'round mine tonight i've got wine and make-up wipes. i'll hold you (i'll hold you),. we can put the kettle on, talk 'bout how he's not the one. i told you but, i'm never gonna say i told you so] // friends (jasmine thompson) [who knows, who cares what we're gonna be. if you're near, i'm there. it will always be home, wherever we go.] // we belong (pat benatar) [we belong to the light, we belong to the thunder. we belong to the sound of the words, we've both fallen under. whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better; we belong, we belong, we belong together.] // safe & sound (taylor swift ft. the civil wars) [i remember tears streaming down your face when i said i'll never let you go. when all those shadows almost killed your light. i remember you said, “don't leave me here alone.” but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight] // buzzcut season (lorde) [cola with the burnt-out taste, i'm the one you tell your fears to. there'll never be enough of us] // unsteady (x ambassadors) [if you love me, don't let go. hold, hold on, hold on to me ‘cause i'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady] // i’ll keep you safe (sleeping at last) [don't be, don't be afraid. god knows, these mistakes will be made, but i promise you i'll keep you safe] // tell her you love her - acoustic (echosmith) [when she says she needs you, tell her you need her too. you tell her clearly, speak what your heart wants you to. tell her she's lovely, always tell her the truth. when she says she loves you, tell her you love her too] // nightingale (demi lovato) [oh, nightingale, you sing to me i know you're there. 'cause, baby, you're my sanity. you bring me peace, sing me to sleep] // deep end (ruelle) [what can i do when it's pulling me under, pulling me underneath?] // hold your breath (ruelle) [hold your breath, don't let go. i feel it coming] // my love won’t let you down (little mix) [we can sit on the edge of your bed, tell me all of the fears in your head. and i'll sing you your favourite song ‘til the pain and all the tears are all gone] // rainbow connection (sleeping at last) [have you been half asleep and have you heard voices? i've heard them calling my name. is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? the voice might be one and the same.]

playlist ii: #squadgoals (aka balo and ches are sharing the aux):

8+ hours of music the girls listen to when they hang out, please remember to shuffle!

playlist iii: and if you were drowned at sea i’d give you my lungs so you could breathe

a general balo and zander playlist

shaking heads (foxes) [and if i turn around, there'll be no light. i know the danger, but it's alright. pick up the light and keep it, darling. you know that i can tell] // bottom of the river (delta rae) [hold my hand, ooh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the river] // hey brother (avicii) [hey, brother; do you still believe in one another? hey, sister; do you still believe in love? i wonder.] // i hope you dance (lee ann womack) [i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. whenever one door closes, i hope one more opens. promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance...] // my wish (rascal flatts) [i hope you never look back but you never forget all the ones who love you and the place you left. i hope you always forgive and you never regret, and you help somebody every chance you get.] // echo (foxes) [look into my eyes, do you see something to defend? spinning in the lights, will i grow old before i die?] // brother (kodaline) [if i was dying on my knees, you would be the one to rescue me. and if you were drowned at sea i'd give you my lungs so you could breathe] // get your wish (porter robinson) [so tell me how it felt when you walked on water, did you get your wish? floating to the surface, quicker than you sank. idol, idol] // icu {madison’s lullaby} (demi lovato) [sometimes i can see myself in the little things you do but i'm not afraid that you'll lose your way. 'cause i believe in you. you're gonna be the one who's strong enough, who can overcome, anything in your way]

playlist iv: i’m afraid of what i’m risking if i follow you

a general ches and zander playlist

into the unknown (panic at the disco) [what do you want? 'cause you've been keeping me awake. are you here to distract me so i make a big mistake? or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me, who knows deep down i'm not where i'm meant to be?] // carry you (ruelle & fleurie) [you are not alone, i've been here the whole time singing you a song. i will carry you] // bud like you (ajr) [kickin' in the basement, kickin' in the basement, hatin' all the same things too. if i need a pick-me-up, would you come and pick me up? i could really use a bud like you] // wilson {expensive mistakes} (fall out boy) [and when i say i'm sorry i'm late, i wasn't showing up at all. i really mean i didn't plan on showing up at all. don't you, don't you, don't you know i hate all my friends, i miss the days when i pretended. i hate all my friends, i miss the days when i pretended with you] // unpack your heart (philip philips) [show me something the rest never see. give me all that you hope to receive, your deepest regret dies with me] // where do you run (the score) [where do you run when you need to breathe? where do you run when you don't believe? where do you run when you can't face your fears? 'cause every time i run, i run to you] // twin skeleton’s {hotel in nyc} (fall out boy) [and there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on; up above our heads droning on and on and on. keep making trouble 'til you find what you love. i need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug] // maybe idk (jon bellion) [i wonder why i feel short when i know my money’s tall. i wonder why i miss everyone and i still don’t call. i wonder why i can’t run that fast in my dreams] // you are enough (sleeping at last) [you're enough, you're enough, you're enough, you are enough. these little words, somehow they’re changing us. you're enough, you're enough, you are enough. so we let our shadows fall away like dust] // midnight sun (philip philips) [oh my friend, look how time has changed the cracks in our skin. oh my friend, let go of the fear that’s inside your head. so stay strong, live on, and chase the midnight sun]

playlist v: beyond every bend is a long blinding end; the worst kind of pain i’ve known

a ches and zander playlist set during the aftermath of the jack posters with an alternating pov (track 2 is zander, track 3 is ches, etc etc. tracks 1 and tracks 12 are mutual)

the choice (gustavo santaolalla & alan umstead) // burning in the skies (linkin park) [i'm swimming in the smoke of bridges i have burned, so don't apologize i'm losing what i don't deserve] // the good in me (jon bellion) [one temptation sparked this, now i can feel the darkness. it's my own fault, but you had this planned. all of me, you take now, like criminals and shakedowns, yeah, you make me forget who i am] // another brick in the wall, prt. 3 (pink floyd) [i don't need no arms around me and i don't need no drugs to calm me. i have seen the writing on the wall, don't think i need anything at all] // bad blood (taylor swift) [did you think we'd be fine? still got scars in my back from your knives. so don't think it's in the past, these kinds of wounds they last and they last] // no light, no light (florence + the machine) [and i'd do anything to make you stay. no light, no light, no light. tell me what you want me to say. you want a revelation, you wanna get it right. but it's a conversation, i just can't have tonight...] // that won’t save us (against the current) [how did we become so numb? we just let it come undone, and i just started giving up. but that won't save us] // hard to say i’m sorry (chicago) [it's hard for me to say i'm sorry. i just want you to stay. after all that we've been through i will make it up to you, i promise to] // believe (mumford & sons) [i don't even know if i believe everything you're trying to say to me] // second chances (imagine dragons) [quicker than lightning, whiter than bone. if you can erase it, then i can atone. oh these days, oh these days get heavy. i get older and life fades, but you remain] // swallow my pride (ramones) [loose lips sink ships, they said but isn't it always that way? swallow my pride, oh yeah] // roads untravelled (linkin park) [weep not for roads untraveled, weep not for sights unseen. may your love never end, and if you need a friend there's a seat here alongside me]

playlist vi: it’s mourning in america

a playlist for the luxor trio - balo, ches, and zander

heathens (twenty one pilots) [we don't deal with outsiders very well, they say newcomers have a certain smell. you have trust issues, not to mention, they say they can smell your intentions] // morning in america (jon bellion) [we're secretly out of control, nobody says it. when the class president overdosed, we all pretended tt was rare, it was shocking and all the town was talking. yeah, we're secretly out of control and everyone knows. oh, it's morning in america] // the kids aren’t alright (fall out boy) [and in the end, i'd do it all again. i think you're my best friend. don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright?] // more than words (little mix & kamille) [i find peace in every story you told, i think of you, i'll never be alone. oh, it's true, you know i do. oh, i need you more than words can say. oh, you save me in ways that i can't explain. always been there for me, now i'll do the same] // family (mother mother) [and when you’re standing on the ledge i’ll pull ya down, put you to bed. and if you’re bleeding from the heart i'll come around, and clean it up] // beautiful people (ed sheeran & khalid) [we don't fit in well 'cause we are just ourselves, i could use some help gettin' out of this conversation, yeah. you look stunning, dear, so don't ask that question here. this is my only fear: that we become beautiful people] // immortals (fall out boy) [they say we are what we are but we don't have to be. i'm bad behavior but i do it in the best way. i'll be the watcher of the eternal flame, i'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams. i am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, i try to picture me without you but i can't] // family (the chainsmokers & kygo) [when i am blind, in my mind i swear they be my rescue, my lifeline. i don't know what i'd do if i, if i'd survive my brothers and my sisters in my life, yeah] // walking the wire (imagine dragons) [oh, the storm is ragin' against us now. if you're afraid of falling, then don't look down. but we took the step, oh, we took the leap and we'll take what comes, take what comes] // take it out on you (ruelle) [i don’t wanna take it out, take it out on you, on you. it feels like i'm breaking down, watching my words cut you in two, in two. 'cause you are the only who saves me from myself when everything is caving. don’t wanna take it out, take it out on you, on you, but i do] // from now on (the greatest showman) [and from now on these eyes will not be blinded by the lights. from now on what's waited 'til tomorrow starts tonight. and let this promise in me start, like an anthem in my heart] // long live (taylor swift) [can you take a moment? promise me this: that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in and force us into a goodbye. if you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name] // i hope you’re happy (blue october) [there will be days when you're falling down, there will be days when you're inside out. there will be days when you fall apart, someone else will break your heart. they're never gonna hold you back, i'm always gonna have your back so try to remember that...]

playlist vii: those meddling kids

a playlist for balo, ches, collen, and zander - and their friendship

on my way (phil collins) ['cause there's nothing like seeing each other again, no matter what the distance between. and the stories that we tell will make you smile, oh it really lifts my heart], more than a band (lemonade mouth) [i never knew you could take me so far. i've always wanted the home that you are, the ones i need] // i lived (onerepublic) [hope that you spend your days but they all add up and when that sun goes down hope you raise your cup. i wish that i could witness all your joy and all your pain, but until my moment comes, i'll say...] // i’m gonna be {500 miles} (the pretenders) [if i get drunk, well, i know i'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you. and if i haver, yeah, i know i'm gonna be i'm gonna be the man who's haverin' to you. but i would walk five hundred miles, and i would walk five hundred more just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door] // tongue tied (grouplove) [take me to your best friend's house, ‘goin' 'round this roundabout, oh yeah. oh, take me to your best friend's house; i loved you then and i love you now, oh yeah] // i’ll be there for you (the rembrandts) [no one could ever know me, no one could ever see me. seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me. someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with. someone i'll always laugh with, even at my worst, i'm best with you, yeah] // drag me down (one direction) [if i didn't have you, there would be nothing left, the shell of a man that could never be his best. if i didn't have you, i'd never see the sun, you taught me how to be someone, yeah] // miss americana & the heartbreak prince (taylor swift) [it's you and me, that's my whole world. they whisper in the hallway, “she's a bad, bad girl.” the whole school is rolling fake dice, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. it's you and me, there's nothing like this, miss americana and the heartbreak prince. we're so sad, we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you] // sharp edges (linkin park) [sharp edges have consequences, i guess that i had to find out for myself. sharp edges have consequences, now every scar is a story i can tell. we all fall down, we live somehow. we learn what doesn't kill us makes us stronger] // family (mother mother) [a motley crew, a rodeo. a goddamn zoo, a circus show. but oh don't you know how it goes, we are all walking each other home] // the story of tonight (hamilton) [raise a glass to freedom, something they can never take away - no matter what they tell you. raise a glass to the four of us, tomorrow there’ll be more of us - telling the story of tonight.]

#I debated if I should wait or not #because this was legit the post I was working on today when the admin note came up #but... have the meddling kids playlists #all of my heroes died all alone ( musings )#all you cool people better leave now 'cause it's about to happen ( balo | zander )#musings ( playlists )#musings ( friends )#I'mma reblog it to the other two in a more spaced out manner but yeah

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