#So take the ones where they kinda look like sponges

[velvetcake96]

✨More Clancy and Torchbearer Doodles I Made In the Hospital✨

[zais-zafu]

ʚïɞ ⋆｡ how I use psych k to reprogram my mind ｡⋆ ʚïɞ

hi everyone! today I am gonna talk about psych k - a combination of techniques I have been using to change any limiting beliefs I had and reprogram my subconscious to know it is limitless.

table of contents:

1. what is psych k & why/how it works

2. techniques to use

3. steps to follow in every psych session

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chapter 1: what is psych k & why/how it works

so psych k is a collection of methods used to reprogram the subconscious mind through releasing old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, it basically uses specific protocols to get you back to the super learning state you had as a child.

I find it quite great to use for changing beliefs around myself, my life, and my manifestations, also these techniques help you assess how strong (or real) a belief feels to you, which we will talk about later.

these techniques might take time to master as you get to know your body, but really you don't really need to be a pro to do them well. the practice is mostly about getting better at self-assessing your beliefs.

so why exactly does psych k work?

basically, as children until the age of 7, our brains engaged in a full-time mode of super learning. that meant that it was absorbing all kinds of beliefs, ideas, knowledge at such a fast pace, almost like our brain is made out of sponge. this meant that whatever environment we were put in affected our subconscious mind, directly rewiring new beliefs.

now where does psych k fall in all of this?

through psych k techniques, you are able to go back to the super learning mode of the brain we had as children, which in turn allows you to edit your subconscious beliefs directly w/o the conscious mind interfering. instead of going the long way with regular affirmations, you speed up the process with psych k!

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chapter 2: techniques to use

🫧 part 1: questioning/testing techniques

these techniques are used to test the strength of a belief or ask the subconscious mind 'questions' (in the form of affirmative statements, not actual questions).

so let's say I wanna test how strongly I believe, 'I am worthy of happiness,' if I truly believed it, I will get a strong response (depending on the technique used, more on that below) and if I don't believe it, I will receive a weak response. so basically, if you wanna receive insight to how your subconscious mind feels about certain statements, remember this point: strong response = yes and weak response = no.

now let's talk about some methods that you can use for testing, seeking permission, and asking the sub mind:

🦋 technique 1.1: arm lever test

this is my go to technique for testing a belief. you can find videos that demonstrated it in the sources at the end of the post, but here I will explain the steps of using it:

1. stand up, keep your face straight (don't lower your neck), keep your eyes open, and look down by lowering your gaze only

2. hold your arm out: extend one arm straight out in front of you. hold it a little upward

3. test with the other hand: use your other hand to gently press on the extended arm, kinda on the middle/wrist area

4. test statements: bring into your awareness a belief like 'I am worthy of happiness.' if the sub mind thinks the statement is true, your arm should stay strong and resist being pushed down (strong response), but if the statement is false, your arm would weaken and easily be pushed down (weak response).

🦋 technique 1.2: finger o-ring test

(never tried it but ig it is a more descrete and an easier way compared to the arm lever test, so if you decide to try it, lmk how it went!)

1. form a ring or O shape by touching the tips of your thumb and index finder together on one hand

2. test the ring: with the other hand, use your thumb and index finger to gently try to pull apart the O shape while saying specifc statements or affirmations. a strong response is the ring not breaking, a weak response is the ring formation breaking apart.

🫧 part 2: new belief integration techniques

now we will talk about the bulk of the work: reprogramming your subconscious mind. I will start with talking about the main technique I have seen being used and then some other techniques I have heard about, but I haven't really tested, now let's begin!

🦋 technique 2.1: the whole-brain posture (the "balance" position)

1. sit comfortably on a chair with your feet flat on the ground.

2. cross your legs and arms over each other:

there are 4 combinations in which u could do that: right ankle over left, right wrist over left / right ankle over left, left wrist over right / left ankle over right, right wrist over left / left ankle over right, left wrist over right.

the way you choose to do it is important since a side of your body holds the belief you wanna change over the other, I usually don't bother knowing which side is weaker (aka needs more reprogramming) & instead I do all of the 4 combination for like 5 minutes each (or until I feel that my mind has accepted the affirmations).

anywho, once you have decided which combination you will use for the next 5 minutes, extend your arms in front of you then interlock your fingers and bring your hands up toward your chest.

3. close your eyes, take in deep breaths to calm yourself down, and focus on affirming or visualising the belief you want to integrate for as long as you need (like I said, I usually do 5 mins).

4. once you're done, uncross your limbs and reposition.

5. save the new belief by placing your fingertips together in front of you (forming a pyramid shape) for a few seconds (if the sub mind is a computer, think of this as a safe command!)

6. if you wanna, rinse and repeat for all combinations.

🦋 other techniques:

2.2: cross-crawl exercise: stand up and march in place, lifting your knees high. as you lift your left knee, touch it with your right hand. then lift your right knee and touch it with your left hand. (this promotes integration of the two sides of the mind). continue for a minute or two, focusing on the positive belief or intention you want to integrate.

2.3: energy yawns: place your fingertips on your cheekbones and gently massage while yawning deeply. this relaxes the brain and enhances focus.

2.4: lazy 8s: trace a large figure 8 in front of you with your hand, moving from left to right. this exercise helps integrate both hemispheres and improve coordination.

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

chapter 3: steps to follow in every psych session

next we are going to talk about some sort of procedure I have come up with for whenever I am doing a self-administered psych k session. you don't have to follow it exactly, but I hope it provides w the guidance you need to start immediately!

🦋 step 0: preperations

it is important for you to be in a relaxed, meditative state for the work to be even more effective so here are some extra stuff you can do before starting the session:

1. stay hydrated + keep some water beside you

2. sit in a quiet room all alone

3. use noise-cancelling earphones for more quietness

4. listen to some type of colour noise at all times to stay relaxed + focus inward instead of outward

5. keep some journal with you (or use the notes app) to record, reflect, and take any notes

🦋 step 1: establish the protocol

before starting anything I want you to have an idea of what exactly you wanna get out of this session, so sit down & write down the methodology for this session based on this chapter. so basically, you specify each of the following steps I will discuss in this chapter cos psych k has many approaches

you can also identify your why for carrying out this session and what affirmations/visualisations/etc. you will be using.

write that all down on a piece of paper or an online document, so you could refer back to whenever you need to remember the next step

🦋 step 2: prepare your mind and body

now you need to relax your body and mind, stop overthinking and stay present, for that I recommend breath work, I personally use the wim hof technique!

after you're done regulating your breathing, and with it your mind and body, take a moment to state your intention to connect with your subconscious mind, elevate any symptoms, and change beliefs using X affirmation (or any other technique), you can say this outloud or just in your mind.

🦋 step 2.5: identify what you want to work on

step 2 is built on the assumption that you already know what you wanna program, but if you don't you can use this stage before stage 2. here are some suggestions for how to pick a belief:

1. order beliefs and work on ones that are the most foundational, ones affecting multiple areas of life or your self concept

2. choose a belief that is urgent, that is it is causing you major stress in your life and it is what you mostly think of

3. layer your beliefs. what I mean is you can start with a general belief, such as 'I am capable.' and as you do more sessions, add more details to it, for example 'I am capable of succeeding in my career.'

4. google general limiting beliefs people have. you can even google specfic ones like 'limiting beliefs around love' and see which one resonates

5. journal, sometimes a quick journaling session can immediatly tell u what immediate obstacle there is in your thinking, which will give you a great idea of what belief you need to change

🦋 step 3: use a testing (permission) technique to identify where your beliefs are at, then test and establish baseline responses

like I said, psych k helps you understand how much you believe a belief, refer back to chapter 2 for some testing/permission techniques to use, but basically you will decide what technique you wanna use (I usually go for the arm lever test)

next, you will use the technique to establish what is a weak response for you and what is a strong one. you can use commands, such as 'be strong' & 'be weak,' or basic statements like 'my name is [false name]' & 'my name is [true name]' to understand what a true & false response feels like

🦋 step 4: ask question regarding the belief to test it & maybe revise intentions

so now that you know what a strong belief verses a weak one shows up in your body, it is time to ask some questions! basically you are gonna say your limiting belief (just like you'd say an affirmation and in present tense) and then test to see how strong (real) it seems + you will do the same for your affirmation to measure its strength

you can ask follow up Qs in the form of much specific statements to understand how your body truly feels about it. based on your findings, you can set new intentions if you think there's a better belief to work on rn.

🦋 step 4.5: ask for permission to change the belief using a testing/permission technique

for this you can use the same technique you used in the step before to test the belief. you basically set your intentions using something along the lines of, 'I request permission from my subconscious and superconscious mind to proceed with this belief change.' you can get more specific or change the wording to your liking

the reason this is step 4.5 is because I don't see it always being used, though I think it is good practice to ask for permission before trying to do something that might be too traumatic to do at this stage.

basically, a strong response = yes & a weak respone = no

if you get a no, you might wanna reflect (through your journal) on why this happened and how can you change that, maybe this is not the belief to change for today or maybe you gotta approach it from a different angle.

you can continue to test your sub mind through different statements and asking for permission, when you're satistified with the results you may continue!

🦋 step 5: choose a belief integration technique to integrate using the balance position

now for the bulk of the work! you're gonna decide on what technique you're gonna use to reprogram and what supplementary techniques you will use (affirmations, visualisations, aff tapes, etc.) (my fave rn is aff tapes!!)

like I said before, I typically use the whole-brain posture. and ofc, once you're done you will just save it as discussed, and then repeat it if you wanna

🦋 step 6: test the belief again

repeat step 4 & use a testing technique (like the lever test) to identify how your beliefs have changed

🦋 step 7: solidify your belief over time

give yourself a couple of weeks or a month and then, retest the belief again using a testing technique (after relaxing and getting into a meditative state of course).

then you can try to anchor them through visualising. another good way to solidify them is to set goals and actionable steps for yourself to challenge the old belief

& ofc pay attention to how you feel and if it feels like you need another session, go for it!

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andddd that's all!! thank you sm for reading and good luck reminding yourself that you are limitless! these techniques are on the newer side for me so let me know your experiences and thoughts on the topic cos I am always open to learning more about it <3

p.s: here are my main source that I reccomend watching as a beginner + if you wanna see live demonstration of the techniques:

https://youtu.be/xr7mZmIhBSg?si=fWyigeSDc9oPsdqn

https://youtu.be/qhDH_a3MHKo?si=XfGV8Mg5lIHAUSH8

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[starlost-maniac]

My Significant Bother - Ch 2

Warnings/genre: SMUT, piv, unprotected sex (don't do it), mxf, mxm, some angst if you squint, unrequited love(?), Mean Jisung (kinda?) I probably missed some (I'll eventually remember all the tags -_-)

Pairing: MinSung x fem!reader

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, DNI

dividers made by @cafekitsune

"Minho.." You look at your boyfriend, shocked.

"The delivery guy was being a creep, hyung. He was coming into the house and she called for me. Since you were in the shower, I pretended to be her boyfriend and the creep wanted proof." Jisung wipes his mouth again.

"It's not a problem, Ji. Thank you for protecting kitten for me." He smiles at you both, stepping closer to you.

"You aren't mad?" You look at him as he stops in front of you.

"Why would I be mad? Jisung was keeping you safe when I was unavailable." He leans down and kisses your head softly. "Let me go and get dressed, and we can eat dinner. Ji, can you bring the food to the living room and find a movie or something?" He asks, looking at his friend. The boy nods, making sure the door is locked before grabbing the pizza boxes and heading to the living room. Minho pats your ass softly before turning around to go back to his room to dress. You stare after him before going into the living room, sitting on the couch opposite of where Jisung planted himself.

"Thank you, Jisung." You say quietly. You were thankful he helped, but now you were a bit confused. His kiss didn't feel like he was doing it just to help you.

"Don't mention it." He says, flipping through movies on Netflix. You stare at the TV until Minho comes back out and sits between you two. Once a movie is decided, you all eat and watch the TV, cleaning up afterwards. Jisung goes off to take a shower while you do the little bit of dishes that were piled next to the sink. Minho comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, pressing himself against your back.

"You feeling ok, kitten? You've been quiet." He kisses the back of your head.

"Yeah, just never had anyone be that much of a creep before. Made my skin crawl and I was scared. I couldn't call for you and I didn't think Jisung would help me." You sigh as you wring out the sponge, turning off the water afterwards.

"Just because you two fight, doesn't mean he won't help, kitten. He's still a decent human being." He kisses your temple. You nod, smiling when your boyfriend starts peppering your cheek with kisses. You laugh and squirm in his hold. He moves his arms and picks you up. "Let's get this kitten to bed. I'm sure she's tired." He carries you off to bed, playfully tossing you onto his mattress. You laugh out and turn onto your back, smiling up at him. He smiles and slips his shirt off and climbs into bed with you. He hovers over you a bit, looking into your eyes before he leans down and kisses you ever so softly.

You move one hand to his cheek as you close your eyes, the other lays on his chest, his skin warm against yours. He moves his free hand down to the bottom of the shirt you stole from him, slipping his hand under it to place his hand on your stomach. He kisses you deeper, gently nipping at your lower lip. Just as he slips his tongue in your mouth, Jisung knocks on the door. Minho let's a 'hmm?' escape his throat and the younger boy pops his head in a bit.

"Is it cool if I sleep in here? My room is cold and I can't find the extra blankets."

"Mhmm." Minho continues to slide his hand up your stomach a bit, the shirt not lifting far enough to show your skin off. You lightly tap his chest when he gives Jisung the ok, but Minho just chuckles. Jisung walks in and over to the bed, somehow oblivious to what's going on. He lays down next to Minho and stares at the ceiling. Your boyfriend grins into the kiss before pulling away, moving his head down to playfully bite at your nipple through his shirt. You gasp and moan softly, giving him a light tap again.

"Hyung..?" Jisung says after a moment of silence.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Mm..just teasing kitten a bit. Nothing bad." He laughs out.

"Uh-huh." He's quiet for another moment. "Should..should I leave?" He starts to sit up. Minho chuckles and lays down.

"No. I'm done." He laughs and pulls the blanket up, covering you up, Jisung lays back down and pulls the blanket up as well. Jisung turns onto his side, facing away from you and Minho, not wanting his friend to feel that his dick was hard from your moan.

——

It's been nearly a month since Jisung started working at the same company as you. He was surprisingly very good at the job, and even more surprising, he was easy to work with. Your coworkers loved working with him as well. You were typing away on your computer, answering emails when Jisung came next to your desk.

"So, how do they do birthdays here? Cause I caught wind that both Felix's and Seungmin's birthdays were on the weekend."

"Usually we get a cake for the floor, obviously one big enough to accommodate around 30 people." You sit back in your chair. "Felix and Seungmin didn't want anything extravagant this year, so per their request, we didn't celebrate. Still wished them a happy birthday though. Chan may or may not celebrate his with us as his is coming up."

"Hmm." Jisung nods. "Speaking of birthdays, did Minho say anything about celebrating his birthday this year?"

"Not really. We might just go out for dinner and a movie. It's what he likes to do." You run your fingers through your hair, the scent of your shampoo wafts up to Jisung's nose. He inhales it deeply but quietly. "We may go to the animal shelter to see the cats. He loves to see them." You smile softly, thinking about how cuddly he gets when he plays with the cats and kittens.

Jisung nods. "Sounds like fun." He stands there for a moment longer, enjoying the scent of your shampoo.

"Is there…anything else I can do for you, Jisung?" You look up at him. He stares down at you, doe eyed. He shakes his head and goes back to his desk. The rest of the work day goes by with nothing exciting happening. Minho picks you and Jisung up and brings you home. You do your regular routine of taking your makeup off and changing into comfortable clothes, this time opting for a longer style crop top and sleep shorts. You go and sit on the living room couch, legs tucked underneath you. You scroll on your phone quietly as Jisung sits on the recliner off to the side.

"Do you two want anything specific for dinner tonight, or should we just order something? I'm kinda in the mood for Chinese." Minho calls down the hall from the bathroom.

"Chinese sounds good, baby." You call back, Jisung seconds it.

"Ooh, sounds like you two are finally starting to agree on things." Minho teases.

"It's food, hyung. Chinese is also always a good option." Jisung reclines the chair, scrolling on his own phone. He occasionally sneaks a glance at you. Minho comes out and sits next to you, quickly ordering the food, knowing exactly what you and Jisung like. He tosses his phone on the couch and pulls you into his lap. You giggle and peck his lips.

"Hi baby." You kiss the tip of his nose.

"Hi kitten." He smiles up at you. "How was work today?"

"Same as usual. The guys get along with Jisung. He's surprisingly good at the job." Jisung complains from his seat. Minho laughs, placing his hands on your hips, rubbing your bare skin with his thumbs.

"Are you two getting along more though?" Minho looks between you two.

"Gotta be for the job. Especially since I'm the team leader." You raise your arms above you and stretch. Your shirt lifting just enough for Minho to see the underside of your breasts. Jisung watches you, just barely able to see the view Minho has. He leans over in his seat, resting his head in his hand, making it seem like he was getting comfortable.

Your boyfriend grins and brings his hands up to gently cup the underside of your chest. You laugh a bit and lower your arms, your shirt now bunched up some on his wrists. He gently squeezes the mounds.

"Can I help you, baby?" You ask, smiling at him.

"Mm, no. I think I'm good." He grins more, gently squeezing again before slipping his thumbs up to your nipples. He gives them a quick swipe, making the sensitive nubs harden. You give him a look that says 'really?' and shake your head. Jisung watches from his seat. He positioned himself where it looks like he's looking at his phone, but he can still see what Minho is doing.

"Jisung is still right there, baby." You place your hands on Minho's arms.

"He's too busy with his phone." His eyes flick to his friend. "Ji?"

"Hmm?" He focuses on his phone.

"See, kitten. He's not paying attention." Minho leans forward and kisses your breasts through your shirt. "Plus, it's not like you don't like being watched." He chuckles. Jisung feels his dick twitch in his shorts, gaze flicking back up to you and Minho. The older one sits back, catching that Jisung is watching. He grins and chuckles, playfully pulling your shirt up a bit more, uncovering up to just under your nipples.

"That's true, but I'd rather he not be the one watching." You state. Minho leans forward again, softly nipping at your skin. He chuckles when you let out a quiet moan. He lifts your shirt and tucks his head inside, kissing your breasts softly, effectively distracting you. You move your hands up to his shoulders, eyes closing. Jisung carefully adjusts himself in his shorts as he watches over his phone. Minho kisses and licks around your nipple, teasing you. You moan softly, head tilting back some.

Minho chuckles, his breath warm against your skin, goosebumps spreading across your skin. Minho flattens his tongue against your breast and licks slowly across your nipple. You gasp softly and moan again as he sucks your nipple into his mouth. He slowly licks and sucks on your bud, enjoying the sounds you make.

Jisung lowers his phone, watching more obviously, thankful that you can't see him. He jumps when he hears a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." He mumbles, standing up. Minho grunts and switches to your other nipple, licking and sucking on your skin. Your head falls back more as you grip his head under your shirt. Jisung goes to the door, trying to get his hard on to go away. He opens it, and it's the delivery driver. He pays for the food and gives a tip, taking the bags before shutting the door. He locks it and walks back out to the living room, setting the bags down on the coffee table.

"Food is here, hyung." He settles back in his chair. Minho let out a 'mm' as he was still in your shirt, ravaging your breasts. Jisung watches as he pulls the food out of the bags and sets them on the table. He scrunches his brows together when you moan out as Minho's nips your nipples. Minho lifts your shirt, uncovering your breasts before pulling his head away and recovering your chest. Jisung was able to get a nice view of your breasts because of that.

Jisung clears his throat and looks away as Minho carefully moves you off his lap, his shorts sporting a tent. He grabs your food and hands it to you, looking at Jisung, he grins and winks—knowing how it was affecting his best friend—before he grabs his own and sits back.

"So hyung, your birthday is in a few weeks." Jisung says, turning the TV on.

"Mhmm." Minho pops a piece of chicken in his mouth.

"There anything you want this year?"

"Mmm.." Minho thinks, swallowing his food. He grins mischievously. "There's is something I want. But only if kitten is ok with it." Jisung looks at Minho and raises an eyebrow.

"Anything for you, baby." You smile and eat your food.

"What is that, hyung?" Jisung slowly eats his food, trying to keep his eyes on the tv.

"Remember what I said back on your birthday?" Jisung furrows his eyebrows, gaze shifting to Minho. "I want to see you and kitten go at it. I honestly think that you and her need a good fuck together to get all that pent up anger out of you. Plus.." he looks at you, your chopsticks sitting in your mouth as you stare at him, eyes wide and brows raised. "I'd still love to see my baby girl get railed by my best friend." His dick twitches in his pants at the thought. Jisung coughs at the request and looks at you. You were still staring at Minho, a confused look now on your face.

"Hyung, I still don't think that'll help any." Jisung says as soon as he stops coughing. You look over at Jisung. The images of him kissing you weeks ago come back to you. That night genuinely confused you. Jisung didn't kiss you like he hated you. He seemed to enjoy it. As the memories come back to you, the tips of your ears start turning red, and you're thankful that you left your hair down.

"Just think about it. I won't force you guys to do it, obviously, but just think on it for me." He smiles and continues eating his food. Jisung's eyes flick to you then down to his food. You look back at Minho, questioning him. Minho smiles gently at you, leaning down to softly peck your lips. "Only if you're comfortable with it, kitten." He whispers, pecking your lips again. He smiles and steals a piece of your food before offering you a piece of his.

You all end the night after cleaning up, Jisung going to his own room for the night, finally taking care of his aching cock. You and Minho go to his room for a long love-making session before bed.

——

"Y/nnie?" Felix waves his hand in front of your face, pulling you from your thoughts. You hadn't realized you zoned out and it was already time for lunch.

"Hi, Felix. Yes?" You look up at the blonde.

"Changbin-hyung, Hyunjin and I were going to head out for lunch. Jisung said he was eating here today, and we wanted to ask you if you were coming today." He smiles at you, his smile full of warmth.

"Oh, thank you Lixie, but I brought food today. I can come out tomorrow though?" You return the smile.

"Not a problem. You enjoy your lunch, ok?" He stands up straight and leaves the office, grabbing his jacket. You stand up and stretch, going to your office fridge to grab your food. Chan had mini kitchen areas put in each office to minimize food theft, which was a great idea in your opinion. Thankfully each office had space for it too.

You put your food in the microwave to warm it and take it to the couch in the office, usually used for customers to wait at. Just as you sat down, Jisung walks into the office, it seems he went to the building's cafeteria. He looks at you and nods a little, walking over to where you sat.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He points to the chair opposite from you, the coffee table between you. You shrug, not like you really can stop him from sitting there. He sits down and opens his container of food. You both eat silently for a few minutes. "So, hyungs birthday is in a week." He chances a glance at you.

"Mhmm." You nod, not looking at him as you eat.

"I…I think we should do what he requested..for his birthday." He says softly. You stop mid bite and look at him. You chew your food and swallow.

"Really? Why? You hate my guts, I hate yours." You wipe your mouth with a napkin.

"I just want hyung happy. Don't you?" His eyebrows scrunch a little. His statement makes you go quiet for a bit.

"No, I do. But I don't know. Fucking you isn't something I've thought of doing." It was a lie. Since the kiss that one night, you've thought about it a few times, but you couldn't let him know that.

"I mean, same." Also a lie. "But if it makes him happy, I'm willing to do it. He's my best friend after all." You sigh and nod.

"Yeah. I want him happy too. So, yeah. Let's do it." You watch him. Jising was honestly really excited about it, but he tried not to show it. He gets up and moves over to the couch next to you.

"We should..we should practice a bit. Get more comfortable with each other since we have a week till the big day." He gingerly puts a hand on your knee.

"Nothing too far since we are at work." You look at him, being stern. He nods and moves closer to you, your legs touching. He reaches up and cups your cheek, looking you in the eyes, his gaze flicking to your lips and back. He slowly leans closer to you, his gaze back on your lips. You feel your neck and ears getting warm with a blush, his breath against your lips before he softly slots his lips with yours.

You move a hand up to his chest, his hands sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck. He deepens the kiss a bit, licking your lips softly. You hesitantly open your mouth and he immediately slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cherries again, and you're thinking it's the chapstick he uses. He slowly makes out with you, taking his time with his tongue in your mouth. He groans a little bit before he softly bites your lower lip.

He pulls away, looking into your eyes when you open them. You were both breathing a little hard and he pulls away completely, his cheeks a little red. You nod and turn back towards the table in front of you. You feel your cheeks burning with a blush creeping up your neck.

"We should..uh..finish our lunch before the rest of the team gets back, yeah?" Jisung says, grabbing his food. You just nod again and eat your food silently. You feel Jisung staring at you the rest of the work day. When Minho picks you two up, he tells you that he's going to drop you and Jisung off at the house, and that he has to run out for a few things, but he will be back in a few hours. You tell him to be careful and that you'll see him when he gets home. You exchange a kiss and a smile and you get out of the car, following Jisung inside the house.

You've never been at the house alone with Jisung before. Minho was always there. You go to the bathroom and remove your makeup before going to Minho's room to change. You put on a pair of your sleep shorts and one of Minho's oversized shirts again. You pad out to the kitchen to find something for dinner. Pulling out leftovers, you warm them up in the microwave. You don't hear Jisung walk in, as you were zoning out again. He stares at you for a moment before stepping up behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your neck, effectively startling you.

"What the fuck, Jisung?" You turn your head and bit to look at him, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Didn't mean to scare you, sorry." He mumbles against your neck. "Trying to get more comfortable again since we don't have to worry about our coworkers walking in." He kisses up your neck to under your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Just…give a warning next time, fuck." You close your eyes as he gently nips your skin. "No..no marks…not unless Minho says it's ok." You gasp out softly. Jisung just hums a confirmation.

"Can I..touch you?" He asks after a moment, gently squeezing your waist with his arms, fingers digging into your sides softly. You hesitate for a moment before nodding, letting out a whispered 'yes'. "I won't take anything off, I won't even look until Minho's birthday." He kisses across your neck again, sliding a hand to your breast. He gently squeezes your clothed breast, feeling your nipple start to harden through the fabric. He whispers 'so soft' against your neck, making you shiver again.

You bring a hand up to his head, gently gripping his hair as you lean back against his chest, he presses himself against you. Your cheeks flush when you feel his cock against your ass. He moves his head to the other side of your neck and starts leaving wet, open mouthed kisses along your warm skin. You let out soft, quiet moans, feeling his hands slide down your body to under the shirt you wear. His hands feel cool against your skin as he trails his hands up to your breasts. You physically shiver against him and he chuckles. Jisung gently cups your breasts, his breath shudders against you at the same time you gasp.

He quietly groans against your neck. He is resisting the urge to bite and mark you, as much as he wants to, he wants to respect your decision. Just as he starts to massage your breasts, the microwave beeps, indicating your food is done. It pulls you both back to where you are. Jisung pulls away, pulling his hands off you and stepping back. You shiver at the loss of his warmth.

"You should uh..you should eat. I'm going to um..I'm gonna go shower." Jisung mumbles out behind you before he turns and quickly leaves the kitchen. You stand in the same spot, cheeks and neck flushed. You blink a few times before stepping towards the microwave to grab your food. You sit at the kitchen island and eat. You clean up and sit in the living room, watching tv until Minho gets back. He greets you with a smile and you smile back. He holds up a bag from a store that sells expensive alcohol.

"Decided to get some for my birthday." He laughs out and goes to put everything away. You get up and follow him, helping to put things in their place. Jisung had finished his shower and went back to his room to get dressed. Once everything is put away, Minho turns to face you, a smile across his face. He picks you up and gently sits you on the counter, now having to look up at you.

"How was work today, kitten? Jisung didn't cause any trouble for you?" He steps between your legs, placing his hands on your hips. You shake your head, just as Jisung steps into the kitchen.

"When do I ever cause trouble, hyung?" He runs his fingers through his slightly damp hair, opening the fridge. He was shirtless again, just wearing a pair of gray sweatpants low on his hips.

"All the time." You retort. "But no, he's been…pretty good at work." You play with your boyfriend's hair.

"What about while I was gone?" He looks towards his friend, whose head was still in the fridge.

"He was…ok. Didn't cause too much trouble." Your boyfriend laughs at that, turning back to you. He leans forward and softly starts kissing your throat. Jisung grabs some food out of the fridge, shutting the door before going to the microwave. Jisung looks at you then at Minho before looking at the microwave.

"Hyung?" He puts his food in to warm.

"Mhmm?" Minho kisses around your neck, kissing your jaw.

"Y/n and I..we thought about what you said. About what you wanted for your birthday." He watches his food spin in the machine.

"Mhmm." Minho gently bites the crook of your neck, making you moan softly, leaving a small hickey there. You don't catch it, but Jisung's cock twitches in his pants.

"We both decided that..we will do it for you. We both want you happy, and if this makes you happy, then we will." Jisung turns around a bit, so his growing bulge won't be visible.

"I want you guys to do this too, because you want to." Minho bites your skin again. "Don't do it solely for my sake." He starts to slide his hands up your borrowed shirt, making you shiver. Jisung just hums out an 'ok'.

"I'm going to go eat in my room. I'll see you both in the morning." Jisung grabs his food from the microwave and goes back to his room, not shutting the door all the way. Minho slips the shirt off you, looking you over, just marveling at you. You smile at him, watching his eyes trail across you. He starts to tug at your shorts, pulling them and your panties off when you lift your hips.

"Gonna fuck you right here, kitten. Missed your pussy all day." He pulls you towards the edge of the counter. He undoes his pants, pulling them and his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free. He groans when the cool air hits his shaft. He slides one hand between your legs, slipping two fingers into your cunt, smirking at how wet you are. You close your eyes and moan out. He slowly starts to finger you, pumping his cock with his other hand. He pulls his fingers out and puts his tip at your entrance.

"You ready for me, kitten?" He slips his tip into you.

"Y-yes, baby." You wrap your legs around his hips as he slides into you slowly.

"So nice and warm for me.." he mumbles as he slides his length into you. He kisses you deeply once he bottoms out. "My good little kitten." He whispers against your lips. You shiver and moan his name softly. He chuckles. Holding your hips, he slowly starts to thrust into you. You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning his name out again. He leans down and sucks on your neck again. Picking up the pace of his hips, he grinds into you, his cock rubbing against your clit at the angle he grinds in at.

You gasp and arch your back, the knot in your belly tightens quickly. You moan out as you clench around Minho. He grins and chuckles against your neck. He sucks on your neck, fucking into you hard and deep.

"My good little kitten. Such a good girl." He leaves a large hickey on your collarbone. You arch your back and moan his name loud as you cum, clenching hard around Minho's cock. He groans against your neck as he thrusts deep once more before cumming in you. He thrusts into you a few more times as he empties inside you. You lay your head on his shoulder and breathe hard. Minho gently rubs your sides, hips and thighs, your legs still wrapped around him as he was still buried deep inside you.

"How about a shower, kitten? Get you all nice and clean." Minho peppers your shoulder with soft feather-like kisses. You nod and let out a soft 'mhmm'. He smiles and gently picks you up off the counter as you tighten your grip on him. He grabs your laundry off the counter and walks out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom. Just as Minho passes Jisung's door, the younger one opens it to bring his dishes out. Minho winks at him, holding you close to his chest.

Jisung's cheeks flush a bit when he notices you're naked. Your boyfriend enters the bathroom with you and sits you on the sink, your eyes closed as you were tired. He starts the shower and Jisung watches for a moment, looking both you and Minho over before he goes to the kitchen. Once the shower is ready, Minho undresses and picks you up again, stepping in with you. Jisung goes back to his room, another tent in his pants. Once Minho cleans you up, he washes himself up before getting you both ready for bed. You cuddle up to him and fall asleep quickly.

Tag list

@tenshimara

[natsuyuki-w]

Not one of the boys

Twisted wonderland cast realizes that (Yuu) is a girl.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 Featuring: Leona, Ruggie, and Jack - Leech twins - Azul

- (Wander)San? Where are you going? No running!- shouted Crewel. - Sorry! 'going to the bathroom! - I excused continuing my rush. - You better not skip PE pup.- - Don't worry professor, they will not. - reassured Ace. - What time is it... Damn it! I'm already late. - I entered the toilet with the gym bag.

---

A couple of hours later, period finished, I heard our Homeroom teacher from afar - (Wander)San? Again? No running! And where are you going in...- - To the bathroom! - - But...Make sure not to be lat...Never mind. - and after eying me a second time, he noticed I was still wearing the sports uniform.

- At least the professors, I'm not asking much right? - I mumbled angrily. - This stupid secrecy...I can't even take a decent shower after gym. - I grumbled some more in the empty bathroom, doing the little I could with the sponge and the water of the sink.

Uncle

- Uncle Leona was so cool at Magift! - Cheered the little intruder sitting on my lap. After the excitement of seeing his relative, since I was the only one giving him attention, he decided to crawl up the sheets and vent.

- Veeery cool! He was * pwah and then *shwah and then "GOOOAL... Wait...wrong sport. - I recalled the last match. - But do you know who's even cooler? - I smirked - The one who can Even defeat your uncle? - I dropped my voice down like telling him a mighty secret.

- Watch your tongue Herbivore - threaten the aforementioned. The kid giggled jumping up and down on my knees - Who is it? Who is it? - I cupped a hand to my mouth and waved him closer. - Is Cheka! - And I boopped his nose singing. - 'Cause, 🎶 you're gonna be the main event like no king was before. Brushing up on looking down, and working on your roar! 🎶-

- So loud - groaned the prince. - Hahahhaa yes!!! - The kid's strong cheers covered his lament - Have you heard Uncle Leona? Uncle (Yuu) says I'm the coolest!- Exclaimed the lion cub to the teenager lying in another cot.

- Pfha, She's not an uncle, and I don't care. - - He's right, I wouldn't Dare take the title from him...- *Pause - Wait, what have you just said? - - I don't care. - responded the boy -...are we really playing this game? Before that. - - You are not an uncle - and after another suspension added - an aunty perhaps. -

.... - EH????? - Death dropped everyone in the room. Some shocked by the new information, some from the fact that He knew about the secret. I quickly went to his side and bent to face the splatted prince. Cheka followed suit amused by my shocked face. - Wh-what are you talking ab...- but the smirk on his face told me I couldn't deny anything. - But,... How did you know???-

- W-wait, so (Yuu), you really...you really?...- floundered Jack. Deuce and Ace went beside him to pat his shoulders. - I didn't know either. - added Ruggie stepping away. - So, I was actually careful... - I mumbled referring to the astonished duo.

- Hahahhaa Uncle (Yuu) pick me up! - jumped the kid. Too stunned to realize the probable state crime accuse I could face, I hopped him on my hip. - Leona... How,...when?- - Entry ceremony. - - Eeeh? So soon... - - You threw the cape on the cat. That black shirt is fitting.- - B-but,... it was kinda dark.- - I can see well enough. - - But it could've been... a wrinkle of the clothes. -

- The morning after you snooped around our business I saw you two little detectives at the entrance and I eavesdropped. I needed to make sure you stayed in your place. - Then he smirked - Mmmm if I recall it was something about a stunning boy calling you a little lady and a crop top rather than an XXL t-shirt. - Jack was now redder than before, and Adeuce facing each other questioningly. - Phrasing...so misapprehended.- I pouted. Then he nodded towards me - And you smell girly. -

I rolled my eyes. - I may be hiding but I don't wanna smell like..."Refreshing", "Boss", "Sport" - I mumbled - Okay okay you got it right. Just... Please guys, the headmaster wants it to be a secret, something about management...school stuff. So keep it to yourself yeah?- - Just that?... Not telling me to treat you right? - asked the prince half joking. - Treat me...? It doesn't change anything, I'm still (Yuu). Treat me like always. - ... - Well I mean SOMETIMES you could be a little nicer with everyone...- but he quickly stopped me with a daring growl.

- Take your uncle good company Cheka - I whispered - Pour on him some more cute... I mean coolness. - he nodded and pounced on his uncle. - I can't believe Leona beat me at this too. - commented Grim realizing he wasn't the first to find out about my identity.

Squeeze

The audacity of this monster… 

- Oh… so it is like that ah? - I rose from the seat at the table. The calm tone in my voice was mismatched by a terrifying shadow behind my eyes. - I wouldn't dare embarrass the Great mage Grim. Since I'm a good-for-nothing human my help would be a nuisance.- I took a breath and pondered - After all you already made the wiser decision. Instead of accepting my, free, invitation to study together, you went straight to the smart student. - and I flicked the anemone on his head. - I'm sure with your sharp mind you'll be out of the situation in no time. - The trio gulped. Not even when they accidentally corroded my potion notebook they saw me that angry.

- Awww Koebi-chan, don't be upset. - chirped Floyd smiling. - Working him to the bone would be a good lesson teaching. What do you say, Prefect? - added Jade with malice, Grim shivered from head to toe. - You are so cute Shrimpy. Let me help you the best way I know...- and before either I or Jack could do anything he grabbed and pulled my arm towards him. -...a hug to squeeze all this anger away. - - NOOO!!!! - screamed Adeuce.

The strong hold on me soon came loose. My face was flat on his torso, I looked up and confusion was plastered all over his face. - I'll consider your kind offer guys. And thank you for the sentiment, Floyd. - sarcasm dripping from my every word. I slipped off his hold and walked out sending a wave to my friends, Jack in silence followed and threw a glare at everyone left behind.

---

The three got dragged away by the anemone while Floyd stood still with his arms held lightly out. Jade spoke up - I swore you were going to give your usual...- - Soft...- murmured the other. - Excuse me? - - I think I'll need another test. - snapped the hugger. - Azul wants us back to the lounge. - stopped him his brother while he aimed for our direction.

---

- So ahem. Do you still want to go? Do you want me to ruffle them up perhaps? - asked Jack after a good minute of silence. I sighed - Of course, I'll go, I don't want to let them down. - A minute passed and mortified by my reaction I excused myself - Sorry for that. I was so frustrated.- - Don't worry, honestly, I think he deserved much worse, I could tell you were very hurt, I'm sorry. - - don't be... But thank you, Jack, for everything! You are so kind, I'm really glad we became friends. - All his might crumbled in a blushing mess.

- S-so *ah-hem do you think he figured it out? The moray I mean. - - Probably.- I responded firmly.

---

- Azarashi-chan...- Floyd crept on the grey cat. - Can I squeeze out of you a couple of things about dear Shrimpy? - said with a toothy smile that Grim knew better to confront with anything but assent.

Debt

- Your voice could be useful, but I'm already in stock. - As we sat on the plush couches of Azul's study we discussed the possible contract to free my friends. Jade lowered himself to whisper in the dorm's leader's ear. - WHAT??? - his collected gentlemanly persona completely slipped for a second, making me and Jack jump on the spot.

Azul covered his mouth looking me up and down, blushing again, and whispered back - Is it certain? - and the twins nodded. - But I would gladly test again... Koeeebi-chan can I give you another squeeze? - I found the heterochromatic eyes bored closely into mine. Jack growled receiving a lopsided smile

- So... (Yuu)san - continued the "mafia boss". - I think you might be already in debt with us, fufufu. - - For what? - I arched my brow. - Well, it would be a shame after all your good work in concealing your true identity...- -...good work...*PFFF...ask the other eleven. - I laughed - And here I thought you did a little digging. - I mumbled - I owe you nothing. I don't care at all to hide that I'm a girl, I'm doing it because the headmaster asked me to. He's worried that it would cause him problems or something. Honestly, I would gladly stop wrapping my chest in cloth and wear ALL the time baggy clothes. They are cute, don't get me wrong, but I would like some flattery sometimes. - I rumbled.

Awkward from my brutal honesty, he adjusted his glasses to compose himself and asked diplomatically - You're not worried about the consequences with Crowley? - - About you finding out? Because Floyd forcefully grabbed me and felt my boobs? No, I'm not. - - You Found Out How??? - sharply asked the mage. Floyd shrugged. - Yeah, and it was very soft. Then I kindly asked Azarashi-chan and he confirmed. - An irk formed on my forehead, Grim was truly getting on my nerves.

Recomposing I pointed - However, you spreading this information is a willing choice. So... I dunno, aren't You worried about the consequences? - He smirked - Not at all, now I have something else against..eh*hem...to discuss with our dearest headmaster. - then sighed heavily -...perhaps this might not be useful for our predicament after all.- returned to his composed self. - L-let's return to our main topic. Shall we? -

I know their surname is Leech… but they are Moray and you can’t tell me otherwise.

[sageofthestarz]

This started off as angsty phantom thoughts based on another post I saw and it turned into a kinda fic..

Written at 2am on no sleep, bare with my typos. It's not proofread 😎

Phantom thinking he was a temporary replacement. Not letting himself grow close to anyone even if he desperately wanted to. He was always told be was going to be replaced back with someone better. Someone who belonged in the pack. That someone wasn't him.

It hurt. He's been wanting, craving for a pack. For a family. He can't get attached though. It'll only lead to him being sent back to the hellscape of the pits that much harder when the time comes.

When the tour comes to an end he did end up getting attached, namely Dew, Rain, and Swiss. The last few nights on tour he hides away alone in his bunk when he'd usually be curled up into one of their sides. He's trying to distance himself, he knows how badly this is going to hurt. Bring sent back to the pit after making such close bonds.

He cries silently, small whimpers and longing to be held by his pack, his lovers. It hurts, knowing they never truly cared for him. He's a replacement after all. A stand in for the one they truly loved. He was allowed to think it was real for awhile right? To think all the time they spent with him was truely for him, that they loved him, wanted to bring him pleasure, bring him care. Even if he knew it wasn't for him, he sucked it up like a sponge and gave so much of his heart back to them.

Now, he felt empty. Like a painful void was in his chest. He'd he sent back, cast aside never to be thought of again once they were back. They'd have their quintessence ghoul again. The real one, the one they truly wanted.

He wished he spent one last night with them. Even if it would be selfish of him. He wanted do badly to feel their love one last time. Pretend it was for him. So the very last night once they were asleep he crawled into their bunks the three of them already together. A blank look on his face, sad sunken eyes from a lack of sleep, and painfulled sobs as he crawls against Swiss' chest, allowing himself to be swalled by his large arms, a smaller heater of a ghoul pressing against his back, a ice cold hand relaxing around the warmth and taking his hand.

He feels tears swell into his eyes once more. Holding back a hiccuped sob not wanting to wake them. He just needed this. Needed to feel them one last time. Imprint the feeling of their love onto him before it was transferred back to the true one they wanted.

He silently cried for the whole ride back. The early morning approaching as they got closer back to the Abbey. When they stopped he had to bite into his hand to keep silent. When Papa came onto the buss to get the ghouls inside he pretended to be sleeping, hood up over his face and eyes. Small mumbles from the ghouls waking around him.

Swiss' arms never leave from around him.

He feels himself being lifted into Swiss' arms. A soft sleepy "Common baby,," as he's carried inside. He tenses hearing the two that stayed back. Aether, and Sunny yelling out. He holds his breath when he feels Aether hug Swiss, whispers around him, feeling a large hand press into his back makes him fall boneless. Soaking in the feeling of Swiss one last time. Aethers going to take him form him. Send him right back where he belongs.

But it never comes.

The hand leaves, and there's a low purr in Swiss' chest as he presses a kiss to Phantoms head, all of them walking insidle. He waits, bracing for impact with the cold stone floor when he hears a door open, but instead hes met with a soft bed that smells faintly of Swiss.

There's sleepy murmers he can't understand, but he can smell Dew and Rain closeby. Soon enough, he feels the bed dip, and he's behind pulled against a chest, Swiss', and there's a blanket being pulled over them.

A moment later joins a warmer ghoul, one that curls Into his side and wraps their tails together, another dip after and a icy hand is going through his hair gently before it settles away next to the heat.

There's one more, a heavier one he isn't used to, that he hasn't smelt often. He realizes soon enough it's Aether. A arm being wrapped around all four of the ghouls there. A symphony of purrs is heard within minutes. Every ghoul there sleep, pleased, and relaxed.

Once he's sure they're all asleep, he pushes his hood back and looked around at them all, debating. He should leave. Hes taken too much. They don't want him they have their quintessence ghoul back why is he still there?

He sits up slowly, trying to untangle himself but a large hand stops him, a terrified look shooting over to where Aether lays. He gives him a sleepy smile "Lay back down Magna Stella. You're not going anywhere." Phantom looks at him confirmed "I.. I'm being sent back in the morning..?" He whispers back, Aether simply shakes his head

"You're not going anywhere love. You're pack now, and they love so dearly. Sleep now, you needant be worried. You're staying right here." Phantom doesn't look as if he believes it. Maybe it's a joke, some sick joke to keep him having hope. But the sincerity of how Aether looks to him, he believes him

Tears well into his eyes, a small hiccuping sob escaping him. Aether gives a soft smile "You're safe here. You're pack. You're loved, and you're home."

He's putty against Swiss' chest, the worry and stress disappearing letting into his exhaustion. He sighs, closing his eyes feeling each of them there. Their different energies they fill him with. He's asleep in minutes. Finally able to relax and sleep without worry. For the first time ever, he feels loved, feels like pack, and feels like he has a home.

[jean-meowreau]

So it's not a question that Jean was tortured in the nest. and I'm damn sure he would have been waterboarded at least once, if not regularly.

I kinda want to see him struggling with cleaning himself. He's so used to using a sponge and a bucket of water in the shower. Standing at the far end, farthest away from the shower head, and cleaning himself that way. It's always a quick endeavor; being that close to a water spout puts him on edge. And it's not a secret to Jeremy, Cat, and Laila - Jean only does a quick rinse in the showers in the locker rooms, taking the one that has a removable wand, and never letting it get it near his face. He showers at home and washes his hair at home. They never see him with wet hair. He disappears for the rest of the evening when he cleans his hair. He locks Jeremy out of the bedroom for at least four hours, and then is stoic and silent and not even making his usual snarky comments when he finally lets him in for the evening. But Jean will always grab Bark Bark after those times and set the cardboard cut out he claims to despise right against the head of his bed, and he falls asleep looking at Bark Bark's face.

Jeremy finally gets the nerve to ask Kevin, and he quietly explains that Jean would get waterboarded sometimes as punishment. For menial issues. If The Master decided a beating wasn't enough, he had Riko and Kevin hold Jean to a chair as he was punished.

Jeremy doesn't speak to Kevin for a while after that. He knows, realistically, Kevin couldn't do anything where he was - it would've ended with both of them being waterboarded or worse. But the anger he feels, that Jean went through all of that alone, without support, and had to have someone he loves part of the process... so he starts researching hydrophobia. They change out the shower head to be a wand, with an extra long hose, so Jean can put it outside of the shower when he's cleaning himself. Jeremy hangs back from practices with Jean an extra thirty minutes so when they head into the locker rooms the shower Jean prefers is free without a doubt. He makes sure to always be within his line of sight while he's showering, hands visible and towel free.

And then one day Jean very quietly asks Jeremy for help washing his hair. "It will be quicker if you do the water. Please." His breath is caught in his throat as he steps into the half-stall, takes the wand, and waits for instructions. Jean bends forward, his shoulders shaking, but there is already shampoo in his hands. He takes a deep, steadying breath, and then whispers for Jeremy to do it.

He freezes up, just for a moment, before saying, "I'm going to touch you, Jean." He waits for the younger man to nod before setting a hand against his shoulder. He taps touches along the shape of his head before biting his lip as he rests the side of his hand against Jean's brow line. "Are you sure you want to go this way? Bending backwards would keep it off your face."

"Less exposed," is all Jean replies, his voice quiet, trying not to let it waver.

Jeremy makes a sound of understanding and uses the hand holding the wand to grab the knob. "It's away from your face. I'm going to turn the water on." Jean nods once, one hand reaching to take hold of Jeremy's wrist closest. He flinches slightly at the sound of the water and squeezes Jeremy's wrist a little tighter. They stay like that, listening to the water hit the tile wall before trickling down the drain. They wait, Jeremy waits, until Jean lets go of his wrist and lets out a long breath.

"Ready?"

Jean nods.

Jeremy brings the wand around and lets the water hit his shoulder before he quickly brings it around and sprays across Jean's hair. He uses his hand against Jean's forehead to try and block water from falling in his eyes. Three quick passes, and his hair is soaked. Jeremy turns off the water briefly as Jean quickly scrubs the shampoo into his hair. He holds his hands out in front, and Jeremy turns the water on. He rises Jean's hands before going back to his hair.

"Please help," Jean asks softly.

Jeremy steps in a bit closer and pulls his hand from Jean's forehead. "Cover your eyes." He waits for the younger man to comply before running the wand side to side in quick stripes, combing his hand through dark hair, easily coaxing out the shampoo. Once his hair is clean, Jeremy turns off the water and combs both hands through, squeezing any excess from Jean's hair. "No towel, right?"

"No towel," Jean confirms. He stands to his full height once Jeremy has finished, and blinks a few times. He is breathing a bit rapidly still, but his shoulders and hands aren't shaking like they normally are.

Jeremy offers him an encouraging smile. "You did great."

"I have been working on it. I want to be part of the team. I want to have conversations after practice in the locker room. I enjoy everyone's jokes," Jean says quietly. He seems to be warring with his next question, so Jeremy waits him out. He strips down, out of his damp gear, and starts his own shower. Jean leans against the tile wall, still sharing the space despite the flow of water. Jeremy feels something close to pride blooming in his chest at Jean's improvement in just under a year since being with them. "Jeremy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be comfortable to help me wash my hair like that every time?"

The blond looks up, water hitting his face, but nothing can stop his grin. "Anything you need, J."

"It won't make you feel awkward?"

"Not at all."

Jean nods and then quietly asks, "Would you be able to help me request to always be able to use this shower? Just until I improve more. I know Nabil prefers it."

"I know he'd be happy to help you, especially if it means a chance at Jean bonding time," Jeremy says with a smile as he rinses the shampoo from his hair. "Do you want to ask him with me there, or would you like for me to ask?"

Jean falls quiet once again, mulling it over and staring at his feet. Jeremy leaves him to his thoughts, running a loofah across his skin, enjoying the gentle friction, the barely there scratches.

"Would it be okay for you to ask but me be there?"

Jeremy blinks away the fogginess, the comfort of the shower and the relaxation the mindless tasks bring him. He nods once, and then frowns. Jean doesn't get to experience this. The comfort of water pounding against skin, the feeling of it cleaning away literal and figurative grime clinging to his body. He doesn't get to enjoy those little tremors of the first trickles of water against his scalp, electricity pinging down his spine, water quick to follow its path. The comfort of a shower, of cleaning himself and stepping out fully refreshed. "Jean?"

"Yes, Jeremy?"

"I'm going to help you as much as I can. Whatever you want or need, I will do it. Even if it means washing you by hand myself. I want you to be able to enjoy showers."

There's a long pause before Jean speaks again. Jeremy doesn't mind; he uses that time to rinse the soap from himself. When he shuts off the water, Jean finally speaks once more.

"I am jealous of how you look after you bathe. Your smile is softer and your eyes sparkle, you are always so relaxed and comfortable. I want that."

Jeremy nods. "I want that for you, too. Let's work on it, yeah? First, though, we've got to change and get outside for the barbecue. Cat is going to kick the door in soon if we take any longer."

[randomkduck]

The sandwich heist.

Shadow spent the next couple of days just vibing. His need to figure out how he got back quickly being exchanged for the pleasant surprise of people not completely hating him!

Sure, there were plenty of people who thought black cats were bad luck, but he had more than just black fur, and a lot of people saw that first.

He got lots of compliments for being pretty, and his ego couldn’t help but soak it all up like a sponge.

Besides that, he would walk in the light now! Sure it was uncomfortably warm and made him feel queasy if he did it for too long, but he still could! He counted that as a win.

Though he did panic a little when he figured it out at first, turns out the bench he had chosen to fall asleep under wasn’t as light proof as he had originally thought.

Hunting was fun too.

~~~~~

Alright, should I go for the obvious option and get the mouse? Or should I go for the fun option and steal the sandwich that guy left sitting beside him so he could read his book? Choices, choices.

Who am I kidding, I have to commit to the bit.

Alright. 

I sit in a bush nearby and watch. He keeps taking a bite every three or so minutes, aka every time he turns a page. Slow ass reader, kinda like Vio…

Anyways.

The guy turns the page, his hand slowly reaching down for his sandwich. I ready myself to lunge. Oh a huge grin would've been on my face if I had a human one!

He takes a bite, crumbs falling on to his book, he sets the sandwich down quickly to dust them off, and-!

I lunge for the sandwich, the movement catching the eye of the teen who barely has time to respond before his sandwich is in my mouth and I am darting off with it.

“HEY, THAT’S MINE!” The guy yells, and holy shit! How did I not recognize him! Of course it was Vio, this makes it even better!!

Somebody laughs behind me as the sound of a very disgruntled person take off after me.

Does he really expect to catch up to a cat? Does he really want this back? Turns out the answer is yes to both because the chase is on!

I dive around people, duck under benches, and eventually manage to drag myself and the half of sandwich up a tree and out of his reach.

At some point the other three had joined the chase, pretty sure Red or Green was trying to get him to stop, Blue just seemed to be enjoying the whole ordeal.

Vio stood at the base of the tree, arms folded over his chest and a light glare on his face. Blue brightened, “hey Red, isn’t that the cat you were trying to make friends with the other night?” He asked, pointing up as though I wasn’t perfectly visible.

Red blinked up at me, clueless, until his eyes widened. “You’re right! It is!” He then looked so upset and betrayed, “you don’t think I taught him taking food from people was okay do you?”

“No, probably not, he looks like a general menace to society anyways. You obviously didn’t help but-” Green assured, and the grabbed Vio’s arm as he seemed to be trying to climb up after me.

“Vio just drop it. Do you really want that thing back at this point?” Oh cool he voiced my thought!

“It’s the principle of the matter, Green.” Vio stated hottily, continuing to try and climb up after me.

At this point I was eating the sandwich like it was popcorn, this is great! Like the good old days where I could watch these four be idiots from the relative safety of behind the dark mirror.

I didn’t actually miss those days, but it still made me nostalgic.

“Vio it’s really not worth it.” Green tried again, reaching out to stop Vio, but Blue put a hand on his arm.

“No, let him try, I have got to see this!” 

Vio glared at him, clearly unimpressed, but then realization of what exactly he was doing dawned on his face. A bright red hue that I really wish I coulda gotten a picture of! He jumped off the tree from where he had barely gotten any height, and crossed his arms again. 

“Never mind, it’s not worth the trouble anyways.” He admitted. Sadly, he would not be trying to recover his sandwich. Such a shame.

“Thank you.” Green looked exasperatedly up at the sky, like Hylia had finally given Vio a little bit of sense.

I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting Vio to be the type to chase a cat up a tree over a sandwich, but it made sense. Him and Blue seemed to be the most prideful of the rainbow circus, it woulda been either of the two of them to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~

The four walked away, Red shooting a “bye bye kitty!” over his shoulder at him.

Shadow decided to be cheeky and wave back in a ‘bye bye’ motion. Much to Red’s pure joy.

He decided he liked this new life of his.

[l-crimson-l]

Ok so incoming gunpla post about tools:

So you’ve started building! It’s fun! It’s cathartic! And they look so cool!

But…

You kinda want them to look Even Cooler.

You also don’t have a ton of cash and you’re feeling intimidated by how deep this hobby can take you (you’ve seen those cool customs online). No worries! Here’s a couple cheapish (<$40) tools to help you get rolling on taking your kits to the next level.

1) Sanding Sponge/Glass File

These are great bc 1) they’re cheap and 2) do the job wonderfully. Specifically they’re for helping to remove Nub marks off the price you’ve cut from the runner. If you don’t know, Nubs are the leftover plastic still attached to the piece after you’ve clipped it from the runner, they’re important to remove bc of how the kit is engineered. Moving gimmicks or the sturdiness of the kit could be compromised if your pieces can’t fit flush.

The sponge is the cheapest option but it also runs out at some point and you’ll need to replace them. However, the glass file will simply just keep rolling. I bought mine from Newtype about a year and a half ago and it’s still doing great. I believe Walmart might have even cheaper options.

2) Gundam Marker

So you know those grooves on a part that’s sunken in? Those are called Panel Lines! Using this pen (it’s basically a Micron pen) you can color in these lines to help give your kit extra depth. This is especially great on kits that are primarily a single color with few variations (think Calibarn).

All you do is draw in your line and then wipe away with your finger or paper towel or what have you. These are super cheap and you’ll run through half a dozen or so HG’s or even MG’s before you need to think about getting a new one. With this you also don’t need to worry about top coating or being mindful about what you’re applying it over (unlike other panel liners where you need to keep some chemistry in mind).

3) Single Blade Nippers

So these are the most expensive item and while double blade nippers work absolutely, you’ll end up creating less work for yourself with single blade nippers as they can make cleaner cuts off the runner meaning you have less nub to clean up.

These ones I snagged from USA Gundam Store (they give a discount for snagging these) and they work great. Not the greatest durability over multiple kits as they really lose that initial sharpness over the first kit or two, but they stay sharp enough to do the job well. There’s several different options out there (some as expensive as $60 or so) but starting out a cheaper pair is great to have.

I used double sided nippers for the longest time but after switching I firmly believe they’re worth the extra $$ to invest in.

To elaborate on 2 bladed vs single bladed a bit: double blades cut from both sides (obviously) but what this means is that there is stress being applied to the piece from each side. This causes stress marks (if you’ve seen a white spot left behind after a clip that’s a stress mark) which either need cleaned up and painted over or it causes a crater in the part (especially easy to do when the nub is especially large) which either never gets fixed or you need to use tamiya cement to melt plastic and then puddy it innnnn and thennnnn sand everything againnnnn and it’s a pain.

Save yourself the headache. Singe blade nippers are the way. I especially hate those beginner nippers that look like this

I hope this helps you dig a little further down into the plastic crack rabbit hole! With just a little extra effort you can really make your kits pop. You can do it!

As always I really love seeing all the new people building gunpla and making it their own (special shout out to that person who bedazzled their guncannon). Love ya friendos

[apomaro-mellow]

S1E09: Open Wide

S1E08

Eddie hacked up a cough so hard it was like he was trying to win a daytime television award. He was laid out in bed, covers pulled up to his chin and balled up tissues all over the place. Steve walked into his room, wearing a sexy nurse’s outfit and a stethoscope. 

“Is my patient ready for his sponge bath?”

“Lord have mercy”, Eddie warbled.

“What?” The mirage of Steve had turned into Dustin, looking confused.

“Where’s my sexy nurse?”, Eddie asked, delirious.

“Uhh, pretty sure it’s just been you and your uncle. I just came by to see if you were really too sick to play today and yeah. Anyway, I’m taking this”, Dustin said as he swiped a comic off the dresser and left.

“....I can’t believe I got robbed by a talking gerbil…”

-----------

“Remind me again why I’m taking Will to his dentist appointment?”, Steve asked.

“Because I have a broken leg”, Jonathan pointed to it, currently in a cast as it laid propped on pillows on his couch.

“I kinda meant like, me, specifically.”

“Because you lost another bet”, Jonathan reminded him, then he cast a look down the hall where Will’s room was and lowered his voice. “I gotta warn you though, Will’s kind of…afraid of the dentist.”

“Still? Isn’t he too old for that?”

“What can I say? He just is. So be like, I don’t know, gentle with him”, Jonathan urged.

“Yeah, yeah”, Steve waved it off dismissively just as Will came out of his room, looking just the same as usual.

Steve didn’t know what Jonathan was worried about then. But it became more apparent when they actually got to the waiting room and Steve checked Will in. The younger boy got this thousand yard stare and seemed to get paler with time. Then Will’s name was called and he bolted from his seat and out the door.

“Goddammit”, Steve sighed, following after.

--------------

Jonathan was lying on the couch, reading the TV Guide while flipping through the channels. Then he heard the door open and checked his watch. Will and his mom shouldn’t be back just yet. 

“Have no fear, for we are here!”, Dustin announced himself and El.

“Uh hi”, Jonathan waved limply. “Why?”

“Okay so, your mom’s abandoned you.”

“Gone to work”, Jonathan amended.

“And Will has also forsaken you.”

“Dentist appointment.”

“So me and El will be your nursemaids until one of them gets back”, Dustin beamed.

“And again, I ask why?”

“Is it not enough to want to care for our friend’s big brother?”

Jonathan looked skeptical. Dustin was known for having ulterior motives. It was only El’s presence that kept him from being completely cynical. And he said so.

“Dustin probably wants a favor but I know you El, are here for purely innocent intentions.”

El smiled wide, showing all her teeth. “Actually…”

“Oh god no”, Jonathan’s head fell back against the couch.

“Don’t worry about what we want!”, Dustin rushed to say. “Just sit back, relax, and treat us as the best butlers you’ve ever had.”

“Sure, what could go wrong?”, Jonathan sighed, resigning himself.

----------------

“Will! You. Have. To. Go!”, Steve yelled, each word punctuated with him attempting to pull Will into the operating room.

Who knew this kid had the grip strength of an Olympic athlete? Will clung to the door, uncaring that Dr. Lee was waiting for them inside, watching it all play out.

“It’s perfectly normal to be nervous at the dentist”, she said. “But it’s just your average check up, Will. One that we’ve done before.”

Will didn’t say a word, only shook his head fearfully. With a groan, Steve let go, hands going to his hips. “Kid, you’re way too old for this. You’re acting like they torture you in here. She’s just gonna touch your teeth a little and you get a lollipop at the end. Which actually sounds counterintuitive now that I say it out loud.”

“If it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?”, Will challenged.

“That’s a good idea”, Dr. Lee smiled brightly. “Come take a seat.”

Steve raised a brow. He hadn’t been expecting to have his teeth looked at today. But then he saw just how terrified Will looked and gave a heavy sigh and stepped towards the chair. Will was the least annoying of his sister’s friends. He could do this for him. And he had perfect teeth. What could go wrong?

“Alright doc, do your worst.”

--------------------

Dustin fluffed the pillow at Jonathan’s back, placed the serving tray on his lap and took the dome off, revealing three triple decker sandwiches with the works. Jonathan’s eyes got wide. 

“Um, when I said you could make lunch, I didn’t think you’d give me the Scooby Doo treatment.”

“I know what they do in the back of the Mystery Machine”, Dustin said knowingly. “And I know what you and Steve get up to in the back of his car.”

Jonathan’s head whipped so hard it could’ve fallen off. “Are you-”

“Blackmailing you. Nah, I’m saving that for Steve.”

El came in, milkshake in hand and placed it on a coaster on the coffee table. “It’s chocolate. Everyone’s favorite.”

“Thanks”, Jonathan said, although he was afraid to see the state of the kitchen after this.

“Anything else we can do for you?”, she asked.

“Back rub, run your bath, do a little run and get some”, Dustin mimed smoking, “for you?”

“Nope! No, none of that.” His days would be numbered if Jim found out he let his daughter go out on a pot run.

“You know what I think he needs?”, Dustin asked rhetorically. “A leg massage. It’s gotta be killing you in that cast.”

Without waiting for Jonathan to answer, Dustin went right for it. El did too, both too eager and Jonathan let out a yelp as they pushed too hard, the sandwiches flying and his other leg kicking up the milkshake. In the wake of the mess, lettuce, cheese, and ham in his hair, Jonathan glared at Dustin.

“I figured out what you can do for me.”

----------------

Steve took a deep breath as he lied back and stared at the ceiling. It had been about a year since his last check up, so technically he was due. And he knew how it’d go. The way it usually did like with his old dentist, Dr. Brown. Brown had been an old man but with sure hands. He was the silent type. Kept quiet throughout most of it until it was time to tell Steve to watch out for his molars but good job on the regular flossing.

Dr. Lee was not Dr. Brown.

She wasn’t as old for one. She looked no older than forty, and that was pushing it. Her hair fell in beautiful waves and was only pinned back slightly by her temples. Steve wanted to ask if she should pull more of her hair back but her gloved hands were already in his mouth.

“Mmm”, she hummed softly. “This is a pretty nice set you’ve got here. I’m almost jealous.”

“Uh-huh”, was all Steve could say with his jaw wide.

“Let’s get you a little more open”, she urged, voice going a little lower

Steve did so, ignoring the odd tingle in him right now. But then Dr. Lee leaned in even more and her fingers went deeper.

“There’s a good boy.”

What the hell?

It was then that Steve noticed Will had suddenly appeared by his side and it was only Dr. Lee’s hold on his jaw that kept him from jolting in place. Will was staring at his face like he was seeing right through him. Steve shifted a little, trying to fix himself in his pants but it was already too late.

--------------------

“Alright. All cleaned up”, Dustin announced.

“Pretty sure there’s still mayo in my cast”, Jonathan deadpanned.

“Don’t be a spoiled patient”, Dustin reprimanded.

Jonathan looked around, suddenly realizing that El was nowhere to be found after saying she was going to get the milkshake out of her hair. 

“Hey uh, where’s El?”

“Jonathan, I got these for you!”, Ell said happily, coming from his room, which already filled him with a sense of dread.

It all happened in slow motion as she came to the couch, stack of magazines in hand, slowly revealing the cover of one with a woman in a bikini. Dustin’s lips parted in a wide grin and Jonathan’s face went into his hands.

“I do not understand why you like to look at women’s swimsuits. Does it help with your photography?”, El asked as she held the stack out to him.

“Well now I have to blackmail you”, Dustin grinned.

---------------------

Steve and Will got back in the car, both of them silent, both with lollipops in hand.

“I’m going to take you to Benny’s. I’m going to let you get whatever you want, you can even undo all that dental work with a triple decker sundae. Just don’t ever speak of what happened in there again.”

“Not even the-”

“Nope!”

“I can’t even tell-”

“Do you want the sundae or not?!”

“....Deal.”

--------------------

Jonathan perked up as he heard the front door opening. It had been hours.

“There you guys are, what happened?”, he asked when Will and Steve came in.

“Nothing!”, both of them said.

Will avoided more questions by going to the kitchen but just got more confused when he saw the mess left there. “What happened in here?”

“Also nothing!”, Jonathan said quickly.

Part 10

[klausysworld]

So I was wondering could you do something with Klaus and reader, where Klaus just uses her as a human blood bag and sex (kinda how Damon did with Caroline in TVD) but reader is sweet towards Klaus and he starts to fall for reader.

You’ll always have me

Over a thousand year Klaus had many ‘pets’ as he would call them. Those who were purely there for his pleasure and entertainment. To satisfy his needs and offer a distraction from whatever major even in his life was happening. His most recent one however was different. Even when he compelled the others in the past they would still act disgusted. They would do as he asked and then run the second they weren’t needed. His newest little human behaved unbelievably well. She would do anything he asked without complaint, and extra things too. Making him drinks and bringing them to him, encouraging him to tell her about his day, why was he so sad? She would offer a hug and climb into his hold. She would listen to his stories and comment on his artwork. He began seeking her opinion, which shade of blue was better? He wasn’t too sure anymore.

———————————————————————

“Klaus?” i asked quietly cautiously reaching out to touch his arm. He had returned home covered head to toe in blood, the rage in his eyes slowly disappeared into a deep sadness.

“are you okay?” i whispered bringing the now soaked cloth to wipe the blood splatters from his face “are you hurt?” he leant his head into my hand having me cup his cheek as he slightly shook his head

“my hybrids…they tried to kill me so i- well…” i nodded and rubbed his bicep comfortingly. I learnt that often Klaus just needed someone to show that he wasn’t a complete monster to make him calm down. Sure i was compelled to keep any and all things he did and said a secret but he could do a lot worse. The blood drinking didn’t bother me much anymore, he’s never rough with it, it’s only a small sting when he first bites down and then it feels…well almost nice? pleasurable.

Pleasure is a whole other world with him though. Even when he makes it all about him somehow he’ll still have me coming numerous times around him. Sometimes he even solely focuses in me, apparently he enjoys my taste, he will compel my arms to stay above my head while his tongue dive deep inside me, his hot,skilled mouth sucking at my clit. He’s had me in so many positions i didn’t even know existed, always fucking into just the right spot. The first few times i was a little more hesitant but i ended up just craving him. Sex was an easy way to make him feel better aswell. Telling him i needed him always resulted in mindless fucking and then snuggling in his bed. In what universe would that be a bad thing?

“would you like me to run a bath? or would you prefer a shower?” i asked making sure his face was clean before gently taking his hands to wipe them

“just a shower will do, will you join me?” pain was clear in his voice, he seemed fragile even. I offered a smile and we went upstairs and into the shower. Despite expecting him to take me against the tiled wall he just stood and washed himself quietly. Silently i helped him, taking the sponge from his hand and scrubbing gently at the now dried blood. He worked his hands into my hair, massaging the shampoo into my scalp

“you’re such a sweet pet” he mumbled while i washed his thighs “i’m so glad i have you” he told me, i looked up to him and gave a small smile

“you’ll always have me” i promised and went to reach for his slightly hardened member but his hand caught my wrist

“you don’t need to do that today” he murmured bringing my hand to his lips and kissing the back of it

“are you sure? you look ready” i asked glancing between his legs where he now stood, his tip pointing up

“i don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, i’d rather you just be here” i reached up and gave a kiss to his neck before pulling my hand from his and wrapped it around his cock.

“i want to, please let me?” i muttered while beginning to pump him slowly, he breathed out heavily and his head went back to rest on the wall behind. I went down onto my knees and licked up his length tentatively.

“oh love” he sighed using his hands to pull my hair into a makeshift ponytail “you’re like heaven on earth” he whispered

i let my tongue run flat against him a few timed before wrapping my lips around his tip sucking gently. My hand continued to pump him while i licked and sucked his sensitive tip listening to his guttural groans and moans. I looked up him and his mouth gaped when he kept the eye contact. I took more of him into my mouth and began bobbing my head.

“such a perfect girl for me” he praised and i took him deeper. He hit the back of my throat and i hummed around him loudly, his eyes fell shut and his brows furrowed as he held my face in place and began rocking into me. I swallowed around him making him grunt as he started moving faster. i used my hands to cup his balls, fondling with them the way i knew he loved. I moaned around him, his grip on my hair tightened and he twitched in my mouth. I sucked harder as though trying to swallow him completely. One hand left my head and flew forward to grab the shelf “fuckfuckfuckfuck” he chanted and quickly pulled out and turned away slightly letting himself released all over the shower floor while panting heavily

I lifted myself back to my feet and rubbed his back

“you okay?” i asked hoarsely

“i’m doing amazing” he laughed breathily “you’re an angel you know that?” he whispered turning back to me and kissing me harshly but quicker than usual. He looked down to my slowly bruising knees and sighed

“it doesn’t hurt” i reassured holding his hand

“i’ll give you some of my blood when we get out the shower okay?” he muttered guiding me back under the hot water and we finished getting clean.

———————————————————————

Klaus couldn’t stand the way her skin would bruise. such a delicate thing, so sensitive. He made sure to have her held in his arms, his wrist carefully placed against her lips while he encouraged her to drink, he felt euphoric having her latched onto his arm, the desire to treat her like a servant was long gone. He was however afraid that lifting the compulsion would break the care she showed for him. What if it was actually just his manipulation that had you being kind?

Over the next week or so he just couldn’t do it anymore.

———————————————————————

“y/n, love, could you come here a moment?” he was nervous? i was confused he’s never seemed nervous before. I walked over to him quickly and he placed both hands on my shoulders. His pupils dilated, compulsion…now i was very confused, he hasn’t compelled me in months.

“you are free of any and all things i have compelled you to do, you have no further obligation to me and can do as you please with any information you have found”

i felt a slight weight be lifted as i felt the air shift, i was able to leave if i wanted to.

“goodbye my love” he whispered slowly taking a step back and glancing at the front door “you can go back to your home now, i won’t stop you”

“klaus…this is my home, i know that it started under odd circumstances but i’m happy here, i want to stay here…with you”

“you’re confused, the compulsion should be gone maybe your minds still fuzzy”

“i told you that you would always have me, i meant that, i still mean it. I don’t want to leave” i argued moving closer to him and grasping him hands “you don’t want me to stay?”

His eyes widened and panic took over his features

“no no i do, i would love for you to stay, if that’s what you really want… i don’t want you to have to be a pet anymore, your more than a distraction, you’re mine, my love and i am yours”

“mine?”

“yours”

[utytimeline]

Thoughts on UTY (Pacifist Version)

Reactions from when I first played Pacifist, and observations I made as the game progressed.  A lot of these will be outdated by the time I get this list compiled, but it’s a faithful list of my reactions.  No spoilers, plz.  I haven’t done Geno, betrayal kills, or boss kills yet.  (I kinda don’t want to, these are my babies.)

Long post ahead.

Ruins

Questions

Clover is the narrator, aren't they? I don’t think Chara’s even in this game.

What happens if we don't leave a tip at the lemonade stand?

Is there a way to wake Decibat after he goes to sleep? (I know that's cruel, I'm just curious.)

Dalv keeps talking about a friend, talking like he thinks he will meet them again- Kanako?

Dalv is mistaking us for the human that attacked him, isn't he? The one that made Chujin decide to kill the next human?

Who was leaving Dalv corn? My best guess is Ceroba- that she's felt sorry for him this whole time.

How to look in Dalv's locked doors/drawers? (Probably have to kill him. That... is gonna hurt. I like Dalv, he's a sweetheart.)

Observations

Decibat's music volume decreases the more you stay silent. (Which makes me think all battle music is being generated by Clover, not the monster.)

"Penilla draws near." (Italics added for emphasis.) *facepalm*

"Rorrim" is "mirror" spelled backwards.

Also, "Dalv" is "Vlad" spelled backwards, so might Rorrim be Dalv's personal mirror? Seems to fit, Dalv is extremely tidy.

Dalv's furniture's "fine craftsmanship" is probably Chujin's work.

Other Thoughts

I feel like a sponge cake with 2x absorption should have an effect where it absorbs damage for at least 2 turns.

Snowdin

Questions

Does the Snowdin ice block ever move? The guy that comes here from the Dunes just stands there and does nothing. Perhaps I need to check very late in the game, return from the last SAVE in New Home or something.

What kind of creature is Mo? I looked it up, and all I can find is "he looks like a raccoon." Yeah, I can see that, but he's kinda reddish-brown, so maybe a red panda? I also considered the possibility that Mo could be a tanuki, a Japanese raccoon-dog (and yes, it looks like a raccoon) that supposedly tricks people, especially tricking them into buying drinks- and Mo is a drink salesman.

What are we to make of the human on the wanted poster that Marty describes?  She said they wore a hat like ours, but they came from space.  I can’t think of a single equippable UT item that seems outer spacey.  And since she’s describing a wanted poster, I don’t think she’s talking about Red (the monster she thought was a human).  My first guess is that some monsters may equate the Surface with outer space, since they’ve never seen either (and many monsters are obsessed with the stars- Starlo and all the monsters making wishes in Waterfall, for instance).

Observations

Flowey: "We won't be anywhere near your fancy surface air for a while." (Italics added for emphasis.) He sounds... jealous? This was when I first realized that Flowey's only playing nice, but I still have no clue what he’s really planning.

"Snowy" is just barely recognizable in "Snowfall."

Mo's theme is easy to recognize because not only does it use the Sega Genesis soundfont, it even includes the Michael Jackson whoop from Sonic 3&K.

Ice Wolf was when I started to realize that Yellow isn't that long before UT. (Yeah, I know, Flowey should've been my first clue, but I simply assumed he couldn’t be Asriel, that he was someone else that somehow turned into a flower.  Anything can happen in these games, after all.)

The Shufflers are all named after things you do with a drink: Toast, Swig, and my favorite, their leader Rephil (Refill).

The Shufflers scold Clover for starting a fight, but later Axis is the one trying to drag us into a fight.  I guess battles can go either way.

Shopkeepers have full animations, it's not just facial expressions.

Yellow finally gives us real puzzles. Some of them even take a bit to solve.

Flowey makes a comment about mailing ourselves to Asgore.  He clearly already knows about resets, so I think it’s likely that he’s seen the moment (at the end of The Dunes) that the whales start shipping people by mail.

Other Thoughts

Frostermit is so adorable. I need a Frostermit plushie.

Mo makes me think of what Spamton must have been like before Gaster (no, I'm not suggesting a connection, just that's what he made me think of- but given the other, more obvious DR inspirations throughout the game, I think it’s possible they were going for that kind of character).

Headcanon: Insomintot is related to Knight-Knight. They both inherited a genetic tendency to fall asleep when a human sings.

I love the UGPS jingle, it's so cute.

"(The remnants of a snowman. Once full of life. Now full of potential for new life.)" This line is a little creepy, to me. Clover may not realize it, they're probably just joking, but WE know that some snowmen in the Underground are alive, and I'm wondering what happened to this one.

I don't know if it's the same soundfont, but the Honeydew Resort theme reminds me of Final Fantasy: Mysticquest.

I actually picked "minor scales" when talking to the cellist at the resort, because I actually do like minor scales.

Being a Shadow the Hedgehog fan (the character, not just the game), I got a chuckle out of the description of coffee bean ammo. What do you mean, you can't eat the beans???

I haven't actually noticed any 4th wall moments, but Martlet's message on the second ball puzzle, the message that apologizes for making it too high to see and says the human must be very good at guessing, makes me think it's a very obscure allusion to the fact that Clover is being possessed by the player. There aren't enough moments like that in this game for me to go all crazy with lore and theories, but it's a nice touch to see such an allusion.

In all fairness, Marty has some craftsmanship abilities. Unfinished, shoddy workmanship notwithstanding, it still takes some knowledge of mechanics to make a water-powered door lock.

I just love Marty, she’s so sweet, I want her to be my little sister.

Waterfall

Questions

Why does the Royal Guard bother to survey their prisoners on “auditory ambiance” and things like that when they’re just gonna deliver the SOUL to Asgore???  I mean, isn’t the victim (except Red, apparently) usually dead before they get this far???

Observations

Not sure, but I’m guessing this is a different river than the one we travel with River Person.  Not only do we never meet River Person, but the colors of the ground and plants behind Ava look like the marshy sections of Waterfall that we never get to walk in.

Other Thoughts

I love how we never actually visit Waterfall (unless you count the post-credits scene), we just float past it.  Acknowledgement of the source material without actually copying it.  And gave them that much more time and room to include an entirely new area (2, if you count the Wild East as separate from the Dunes).

The mention of a Royal Scientist threw me off.  I totally did not expect Alphys, I thought this game took place many years before UT, and I’ve seen no Gaster references in this game at all.

The Dunes

Questions

More of a complaint than an actual question, but… if they wanted to make a Zelda reference, WHY OH WHY did they have to do the Death Mountain rockfall???

Since the Dunes are so near Hotland, could the gigantic Swelterstone be responsible for Hotland’s heat, too?

Since El Bailador calls us a “Sentinel of Silence,” how will killing Decibat affect the fight with Bailey?

If you do well in the Bailey fight, does he stop saying you don’t love dancing as much as him?

How to move the sunbathing (wait, what sun?) cactus that blocks that one road?

Observations

The Dunes is where I noticed that the battle theme changes depending on the location.

Sea Tea still increases SOUL speed.  Loved that they kept this in.

Same black slime that we met in MTT Resort Hotel.  And still outraged because of an elevator.  Feels like he’ll never find a working one.

Bowll being a china bowl shaped like a bull is probably a play on the phrase “a bull in a china shop.”

Clover got the green healing flowers (the ones in the Omega Flowey fight) from Violetta.

I sucked at Mew Mew Love Blaster, but I watched a walkthrough, and DID THEY SERIOUSLY GIVE MEW MEW A “BIG SHOT”?!?  (Coming back to this after finishing the game, I went, “yup, they did.”)

Other Thoughts

“Vigorous Terrain” is my favorite location theme, but I still haven’t figured out whether there’s any significance in it being a remix of “Your Best Friend.”

That first tumbleweed, the one that comes rolling out of the hole in the cliff, had me like “wut?”  I did love how they replaced Undyne’s rocks with tumbleweeds.

I also love the mines music.  The first few notes remind me of Zelda’s Lullaby (from LOZ).

I actually missed getting a free pickaxe because the monster’s trivia question about the Royal Scientist threw me off.  I still didn’t realize this took place after Asgore hired Alphys, I thought it came WAAAAY before that.  (This also finally confirmed for me that Flowey is, in fact, the same one we know from UT, Asriel.)

I tried not to make a lot of comparisons to DR, considering this isn’t even canon to UT, but I did feel like the mouse attack in Bowll’s fight was very similar to that one attack in the Maus fights in DR.  But I think the Maus fight itself was probably a reference to some old video game (can’t remember which one, it just always felt familiar), so maybe UTY was making the same reference.

Was stunned to see Undyne look-alikes in the Mines, was more surprised that they mentioned her, and was the most surprised to find that they’re not related.

Clover has a very cute animation for hopping in the mine cart.

I could not figure out Bailador’s fight mechanics, and tbh, I got thru it on an absolute fluke (and the silver scarf).  I had to look up a walkthrough later to realize you have to move into the right space AND press the action button when the color lights up.  I thought it was just being in the right space.  Every rhythm game controls differently, it seems.

Wild East

Questions

Do mail whales keep notebooks full of potential rhymes, like Marty and her notebook full of puzzle ideas?

Is “designated naptime” a reference to siestas, or did Star just not want to overwork everybody?

“A ballet shoe could be lethal if used enough times.”  Um.  Got anything to share there, Blackjack?  “Don’t question my morality!  I’m not prepared to speak on it!”  OKAY, I REALLY NEED YOU TO SPEAK ON IT NOW….

Can we get into the locked farm cellar?  (Preferably without killing anyone?)

Observations

Animals still living in the Underground at least provides some explanation for where monsters get their food (in addition to the corn).

The BEST part about the health overcharge?  You don’t lose it when you SAVE!  He might be a plague doctor, but Doc works absolute miracles.

Star paid double price for the gun he bought us.

They actually take around 15 paces for the dual (I lost count).  (And yes, I spelled it “dual” on purpose.)

Moray comments that Star made them walk around with a rubber snake in their boot.  I looked it up, and it looks like the first and most well-known movie to use that “snake in my boot” reference really WAS Toy Story (although it has origins outside of film from farther back).  So Starlo also watches animations (as long as they have cowboys).

Vengeful Virgil’s comment that not caring about others’ feelings is what makes him a villain, comes while we’re on our way to console Star after his cocky selfishness drove everyone away.  This was not a coincidence.

Every monster has a magical ability, and Starlo’s is literal “bullet time” (he can slow you down).

^This also makes me wonder: remember how he flew backwards in slow-motion when we shot him in the dual?  I wonder if he was using his bullet time on himself for dramatic effect.

Star’s family: his dad, Solomon (the sun), his mom, Crestina (the moon), and a brother who’s name I never found but looks like a 4-pointed star.  (I’ve seen people call him Orion, so I’m going with that, for now.)

Star has several sticky notes in his dad’s almanac, and keeps dad’s almanac on his own bedroom nightstand.  Seems like Star probably took his life on the farm seriously before he left home.

Star also apparently had an interest in outer space.  Possibly some confusion stemming from Toy Story?  (I actually started headcanoning that Toy Story got him into cowboys, and put together a fic on that.)

Not sure where the term “space cowboy” originated, or what Clover’s actually referring to when they say it about Star, but the first use of that phrase that I’m finding is a Steve Miller song from 1969 (referenced later in Steve Miller’s “The Joker” from 1973, the line that a lot of people associate with Steve Miller: “some people call me the space cowboy, some call me the gangster of love”).  The phrase has been used numerous times in multiple ways since then.

Seems like Star sewed his own outfit.

Other Thoughts

Picked “no” when Star asked if monsters die when you ride them into the sun cuz I thought the whole town would converge upon me, heh.

Was honestly surprised that the dummy finally showed up.  This was the first time I tried using the FIGHT option, and it turned out to be rather difficult.  I am not looking forward to Neutral or Genocide.

Star tells Ceroba we’re as good of a shot as him, and she goes, “Really?  A child?”  Still not entirely sure whether she’s poking a bit of fun at Star, but I don’t think she is.  Star doesn’t take any offense to her comment for himself, and her sprite when she speaks next, saying she’s “impressed,” looks extremely surprised.  (In all fairness, despite Blackjack’s claims, Star actually is really good.)

I suck at them all, but the mini-games in UTY are all so fun.

Love the change-up to the battle animation during Feisty Four’s attack, how they switch between characters and even team up.

“A tumbleweed rolls by.  It says hello.”  Well, why not?  I mean, the rocks and cacti are sentient.

The first mention of Kanako at The Lab had me in tears, because, like… we KNOW what happened to her.

Steamworks

Questions

“The Steamworks was the main power source of the Underground.”  This statement confuses the timeline a bit for me.  The Core is now the main power source of the Underground, but my understanding is that the Steamworks was operational long after Gaster died.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT LAST AWARD ON THE WALL SAYS.

Does the story change at all depending on what parts you use for Axis’ gf?  (Also, I wonder how many of us just picked up the first 2 or 3 items and then realized there’s way more than 4 items to choose from and wished Ceroba would let us start over.)

Is there a way to fix the grandfather clock?

Does the grandfather clock say something different if the time on your PC actually is 6:26 on a Monday morning in spring?

Observations

Ceroba telling Clover to wait in the corner, kinda refers back to her doubting that a child could be as good of a shot as Star.  She has very little respect for Clover at this point.  Not entirely sure if it’s just because Clover’s a human, or if it’s also because they’re just a kid.

Don’t think I missed Flowey’s comment about The Lab.  He clearly does NOT want us to go there.

Ceroba must have some kind of dimensional satchel, herself.  I don’t see how else she can carry the hunkajunk we built (not to mention pulling her staff out of hammerspace).

BTW, “dihydrogen monoxide” is just water.  Vendy probably just called it that to make it sound poisonous.

Vendy said their last boot up was yesterday and that their creator always comes by on Mondays to restock them.  Sadly, the grandfather clock is stuck on 6:26, Monday morning.  Kinda feel sorry for Vendy.

Guardener is actually nice.  She even grows a flower just for the bot that came late.

Telly-Vis starts using the bullet patterns of other monsters during the “reruns” portion of the fight.

You can cheat on the Axis fight if you have the silver scarf.  Just deliberately miss Axis when you ping-pong the red balls for enough turns to heal up.

I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m guessing that Ceroba would get mad and ditch you if you kill one of the robots, turning the run into a Neutral.

Other Thoughts

Screw those water puzzles at the start of Steamworks.

DAT MUSIC, THO.

I’m not gonna try to discuss Ceroba’s growing respect for us.  That needs a whole analysis post of its own.  (Well, everything about Ceroba needs its own analysis.)

Axis rolled in and I was like, “Oh, no, another one.”  Seems like we just keep running into these darned toaster ovens on wheels.

Axis music is fire, tho, all of it.

I swear I hear some DR inspirations in the music.  Haven’t learned the names for all the tracks yet, but at one point I thought I heard Digital Roots (when Ceroba’s fiddling with the generator) and at another I thought I heard Card Castle (the room where you build Axis’ gf).

A game mechanic I love: Ceroba’s shield effect (well, as long as it’s shielding Clover).

A mechanic I hate: Jandroid’s slippery floors.

I also love the manta ray ferryboat.

Mo’s level of professionalism is off-the-charts.  He ain’t about to let a little thing like his clothes and his stand catching fire ruin a sales pitch.

Being a Christian, I’m not going to share what I really think of the Axis chase.

Loved seeing the return of popato chisps.

I swear, I thought all that white stuff was monster dust at first.  Walked into the Science Division and nearly burst into tears.

I hope somebody finally has chance to either fix Guardener or shut her down properly once they reach the surface.

Conveyor belt puzzle caused me trouble because I kept trying to box up trash.  Took me a while to realize “red” and “blue” referred to the highlights around the objects.

I’ll talk more in depth later, but I love how Clover has this calming effect on Ceroba when she’s chewing out the productivity bot.

Believe it or not, I didn’t get caught by Axis in the fireplace room!  Go me!  (Actually, it’s really not that hard….)

Still not entirely sure what I think of Axis deliberately handing us a “weapon” just to give himself an excuse to attack us.

I’ve said this before: he took me an hour and a half to fight the first time.  I really hate the mechanics in his boss fight.  And it was especially humiliating for me because I’d only died, maybe, 3 or 4 times before him.  Didn’t have any trouble with Starlo, and while I never did get the hang of Bailey’s fight, I think I only died to him once.  Guardener was responsible for the other deaths.

I love how Ceroba’s been insulting the Steamworks the whole time, but I don’t think she ever insults Axis.  That was her late husband’s baby.  And then she even gives him tips on dating.

Ceroba finally respects us after the Axis fight.  It takes remembering why she needs us for her to be able to press on with her mission.

Chujin’s House

Questions

Woodworking, robotics, SOUL research, video game designer, loving husband and father- I know Chujin was kinda old, but how DID he find time for all this???

Marty finds Kanako’s room to be unsettling.  Not sure why.

Clover doesn’t like the gas stove and worries it will cause a housefire.  I’ve wondered before whether they came from an orphanage.  Did they lose their family in a fire?

“The Founder’s Crest.”  Who are the Founders?  Founders of what?  Or is this just a reference to something I’m not familiar with?  (Possibly something in Japanese culture?)

Was Chujin actually that much older than Ceroba?  Or did he just age rapidly because of his research?  If boss monsters only age when they have children, how could he have become so old before marrying Ceroba… unless he’d already had, and lost, one child before?

I’ve been told there’s a secret behind Chujin’s grave.  Will have to check it out the next time I do a Pacifist run.

Observations

Strange that Ed found the trapdoor so easily when Ceroba didn’t know about it until Chujin told her.  Ceroba must not have covered it up properly before locking up the house.  Possibly also Chujin somehow arranged it with her that he would be the one cleaning the dining room.

I feel like Moray’s the smartest one of the Four.  They knew it was a good idea to send for Marty.

And THIS is where Marty gets smart.  She takes charge in Star’s absence.  The Four listen to her, even Ed (reluctantly).  And SHE’s the one telling us to stay on track.

(Ok, she’s still a bit naïve- she doesn’t seem to consider that Chujin’s paper with her name is actually ABOUT her.)

The drawings on Kanako’s bedroom wall: Dalv, the monster on the Dunes swingset, her family… and a flower?  Well, I mean… a lot of little kids like to draw flowers, so that might not be anything.  Also a drawing of what looks like Axis lying on the floor.

“Nuh-uh!  Kids shouldn’t mess with knives!”  Nice little reference there, dev team.

And, of course, it’s Flowey who makes light of Ceroba’s mission, calling it a “science fair project.”  Well.  He has every right to say whatever he likes about SOUL research.  Doesn’t he.

Of course, we didn’t get Star’s letter in time because Ceroba wouldn’t let us check the mail.  But I highly doubt she planned it that way, as she had no idea the Five would be snooping around her old house.

Other Thoughts

Starlo is so. completely. PISSED.  And… uh, he has a right to be.  Like, she’s doing a lot of what he just did- lying and scheming and using Clover to fix her own problems (those two are a match set, I swear….)  And he’s torn.  These are his two friends, Clover being the human he practically worshipped, and Ceroba being one of his closest friends (not to mention the love of his life, but I digress).  He doesn’t want anything to happen to her, but he can’t let Clover get hurt, either.

The fact that Moray sent for Marty as soon as learning that Clover was in danger just seals in the idea that Marty is part of the family.

…how long has that corn chowder been in that fridge, anyway???

I’ve already discussed my thoughts about Chujin in other posts, a lot of them still in queue.

Hotlands

Questions

Kinda wonder what could’ve made Clover suspicious about the wall to the left of the UG Apartments.

Never did figure out where the “rain” was coming from.  I figure it’s just a leaky sink upstairs or something.  (I’d thought at first it was from the janitor cleaning the hallway, but that’s on the other side of the building.)

Observations

I’m sure everyone recognized it, but in case someone didn’t, Bailey’s in the colored tile room.

I think Muffet herself blocked the way thru Hotland, renovating for her pastry shop.

Mr. Cursor mentions a 10-sided die.  They have some version of D&D in the Underground.  Probably more like… idk, Houses and Humans?

Working for Mettaton must have taken quite a toll on the janitor.  He doesn’t look nearly so tired or decrepit here.

There was a flier on the bulletin board in the Wild East that was advertising the acts at the UG Apartments.  The band we saw in Honeydew Resort has a gig at the Apartments on Fridays.  So, this game- or at least by the time we reach Hotland- is on a Friday.

Other Thoughts

The monster candy is butterscotch-flavored.  *nods*  Of course, what else would it be?

Poor Heats.  Defeateeeeeeeeed again….

Star can actually survive drinking magma.  I’ve got headcanons about this boiling in my brain….

I thought Know Cone said he was just gonna look at Hotland from a mountaintop…?

New Home/Pacifist Ending

Questions

If there’s an elevator leading to the castle, I’m guessing that means at least one of the other endings has us actually fight Asgore.

How exactly does Kanako’s mask give Ceroba superpowers?  I feel like it might be a reference to Japanese mythology, but I know very, very little about Japanese mythology.

How exactly does Clover have the ability to see into Ceroba’s memories?

I kinda hate myself for asking, but… what happens if you choose FIGHT after you beat Ceroba?

Observations

Star is the one asking Ceroba if she’s gonna kill them all because while he doesn’t know all the details, he recognizes the headspace she’s in.

Other Thoughts

Not only am I thrilled to finally get to explore some of New Home, I’m absolutely in love with the design and the music.

I think when Ceroba says she lied about Kanako, she’s not saying she lied about Kanako falling down, or about sending her to the lab.  She lied about having any hope that Kanako would return safely.

How the heck do frikkin’ cherry blossom petals have so much attack power???

The dash mechanic took me time to learn, but if Toby ever decides to steal from Yellow, I hope he steals this :P

My reactions to Ceroba’s plan: “But Chujin specifically begged you NOT to use Kanako!  How do you think you’re honoring his memory by going against his final wish?!”  “Oh, I see, finishing the serum was his death wish.  That’s still no excuse to use your own daughter, tho.”  And finally: “…oh…”

I tried to get thru the game without cheats (except for being on easy mode) but I did have to turn on auto-fire for Ceroba’s final phase.

[destinygoldenstar]

Okay so I said I was gonna rant about this scene, so...

So, if you've seen my Episode 11 reaction of Season 1 of Disventure Camp, you know how... PISSED I was at a certain scene to say the least. To the point where I couldn't even talk coherently about it.

I wanted to explain myself and what MY POV of the scene was.

DISCLAIMER: this post is being made by somebody who, at the time of this post, has NOT watched past this episode. So any and all information regarding context for this scene revealed AFTER this episode (This season or another season) is IRRELEVANT to what I am talking about. I am ONLY going off of information revealed in Season 1 prior to this episode, and that's it.

Bottom line is, now that I am calmer and able to think coherently about it, I can safely say that my hatred for this scene was... SUBJECTIVE.

I hated it because it personally brought back a lot of moments in my own life, and as a result, when I watched the scene over and over again for the sake of this post, no matter what, my blood boils.

And I'm not even saying objectively this is a terrible scene writing-wise. After all, Total Drama, the show THIS show was inspired by, has quite a lot of characters doing... morally questionable things for the sake of the grand prize. So I am perfectly used to, and expected, seeing characters with less than perfect personalities, motivations, and actions.

So with that in mind, just because something like this happens in these kinds of shows, DOESN'T mean the show is saying you the audience should apply these actions to real life. They are merely telling a story and showing what a downfall looks like.

Yes I know what media literacy is.

As much as some people probably want to play the blame game just because it's easier to justify certain opinions, at the end of the day, THIS IS NOT A BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE. IT'S FAR MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

So with that in mind, I should make it clear that my harshness on the scene does NOT have to do with the character that gets hurt in the scene.

I feel like even the most hardcore vile Jake hater that wants him dead on sight, would have to admit even for a second that MAYBE Ellie is kinda not perfect with her logic here.

(Why'd you all want to kill this guy so much? Holy shit...)

So for context of the scene alone, Jake and Ellie are at the end of the challenge and need to decide which one of them claims immunity, both needing it. Jake offers a forgiveness of the shit that happened prior between them, but only if she gives him the immunity.

And Ellie decides not only "NO" but she also takes the opportunity to READ JAKE FOR FILTH.

So, to quote her words:

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

"And 'Boo Hoo, Aww, I Got Cheated On'. Grow the hell up, Jake."

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama."

"You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

"Tom probably saw it too. You have no right to shame me."

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

OUT OF CONTEXT, what does all of that read for you?

Probably something on the lines of, "Oh yay, this girl is roasting this man and calling him out on his bullshit and asshole behavior."

BUT THEN YOU LEARN THE CONTEXT, and you learn that this girl personally went after the dude's trauma to destroy his relationship with someone else, and is saying this to JUSTIFY her actions by saying "Well no, you deserved it, and you can't go after me cause I did nothing wrong. It was all you."

Yeah...

So when I said this wasn't a black and white issue, I wasn't kidding.

For more context on these characters, both of them are participating in a reality show where the prize is $1,000,000.

Ellie is a young adult with a dream to study fashion design, but she can't afford the funds for the college she's in. She's desperately in debt, being forced to work two jobs every day from dawn to dusk and having next to no spare time on her own to do the things she loves. Not for anything. Not for friendships or relationships either.

So she read to me at the start of the show as a bit of a gloomy introvert who finds it hard to let people in or see the bright side of things. And in the first half of the show, I'd say two people changed that for her: Gabby and Jake.

Gabby more so, because love interest. She's the one who gave Ellie a sense of hope in things, and went out of her way to save Ellie's spot in the game (at the cost of her own, tragically), because Ellie was a good and caring friend towards her and did not judge people before knowing them fully.

KEEP THAT IN MIND. Ellie DOES NOT JUDGE PEOPLE BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW THEM.

When Ellie gets betrayed by Alec, she's kicked off of her team and joins the other team, AKA, the team Jake is on. She quickly gets acquainted in him and the get along nicely. The only problem was that Jake, at the moment, was pretty salty regarding his own love interest, Tom, because Tom lied to him about his career.

Rather than write him off as a 'moody brat', Ellie sits down and tries to talk reason to Jake, and even offers to hear his side of the story to get an understanding as to why he acts the way he does.

The scene with them cuts away just as Jake is about to trauma dump to her, BUT we the audience already knew of Jake's trauma, so we can easily infer that this was where Ellie got information on Jake's personal trauma.

And even if she didn't, right before the scene on topic, Jake was ranting to her that she didn't know what it was like for him to go through that.

So yes, regardless of when she knew, Ellie DOES know what happened to Jake. The claim that 'Ellie was ignorant', as a result, is FALSE.

Ellie also offers Jake advice on how to approach Tom, giving him valuable lesson on not jumping to conclusions and talking things out to people.

ELLIE SAID THIS TO JAKE. KEEP THIS IN MIND. SHE'S THE ONE WHO GAVE THIS ADVICE TO HELP HIM OUT.

Their friendship remains on good terms with mutual respect for a bit. When the team loses and they have to vote someone off, everyone BUT Jake and Gabby voted out Ellie because she was the new girl. Gabby would NEVER vote Ellie, let's be real, so that's not surprising at all. Plus it was thanks to Gabby's idol that Ellie survived that Tribal Council.

Jake was a shocker in this regard though. Despite his connections with Miriam and Tom, he refused to join the popular crowd on the team and instead chose to throw his vote on Gabby. Looking back at that choice, it's such a subtle sign of respect that Jake has gained for Ellie and how she helped him.

The next episode, Jake DOES decide to join Tom and Miriam in voting off Gabby, Ellie's closest companion in the game. That SOUNDS like a stab in the back, but there's a scene where Jake talks to Ellie about this and comes clean to her about what he's doing.

And Ellie... takes this well.

She completely respects his decision, and agrees that she would not take this vote as a personal attack, because... it's not. It's just a vote.

He's not trying to destroy Ellie's relationship with Gabby, or trying to spite Ellie by voting Gabby, he's merely casting a vote as the game wants.

Could they have voted for anyone else? OH YEAH.

BUT TO BE FAIR, Grett had immunity, and Jake, at that point, had no connection with Fiore and Alec, and Fiore in particular tried to get on Jake, Tom, and Miriam's good side earlier in the episode. So I MOSTLY blame Gabby's elimination on the Fiore Alec and Grett alliance, because unlike Jake, they DIDN'T tell Ellie jack shit and went behind her back.

There is no evidence in the next couple of episodes that Ellie has any beef towards Jake regarding voting off Gabby. At least, not until the scene on topic. She mostly directs her beef towards Alec for betraying her trust for the second time.

And then he would do it again a third time-god you need to get better allies Ellie.

But then by Episode 10, Ellie is reminded of her outcast situation among the cast. She's on good terms with Jake, thus she's in the Jake Tom and Miriam alliance, the majority at that point. Even Miriam came around and apologized to Ellie for misjudging her. Unless Fiore and/or Alec got immunity, those two were for sure gone.

But after they were gone, or voting them out wasn't an option, would that lead to Ellie's elimination? For no other reason other than she's the one with the weakest bonds with the others? Jake and Tom are lovers, and Miriam is their surrogate grandmother. They are a found family. And Ellie is just... the friend tagging along.

She was so outcasted that she died on the first day in the zombie simulation and they just forgot about her.

Oh, AND Tom cut her arm off. That's not cool.

And Ellie CANNOT afford to lose this game. Her whole lifestyle is on the line. More so than any of the others. She HAS to win this, otherwise she might never get another chance to financially achieve her dreams. (CURSE YOU GOVERNMENT)

So, in other words, she has to screw her relationships and strategize.

It's a completely understandable and empathetic motive, probably one even more empathetic than any of the Total Drama character's motives.

In that circumstance, as the numbers go down, does it all come down to popularity or strategy? When you're unpopular among your peers and that could be an elimination sentence, do you let that happen or do you take matters into your own hands?

So Ellie, reluctantly, goes to Fiore and Alec again to side with them on the votes. But that would just be a 3-3 tie and there was no guarantee they would survive the tiebreaker.

So their plan to solve this issue was...

*groan*

Trigger Jake's insecurities and manipulate him into destroying his relationship with Tom.

...

Ellie was hesitant, but she was convinced it was the only option she had to save herself.

She could've instead just stolen that godforsaken immunity idol that Tom found since she knew he had it BUT I DIGRESS.

The plan works perfectly, and Jake and Tom's relationship is destroyed, resulting in an ugly break up.

But Fiore outs Ellie for her scheme, (betraying her YET AGAIN), resulting in Ellie becoming he true outcast of the group, as not only are the villains dumping her, but Jake is OUT FOR BLOOD.

Ellie apologizes to Jake for what happened, expressing her remorse for what she had done. She proved herself before as a good friend who had the best intentions and wanted to help Jake, despite not having reason to put up with him. And she betrayed that.

And I do believe that she does feel guilty over what she had done.

She doesn't get sick pleasure from hurting others like Fiore does. She simply did the deed because she felt like she had to.

But Jake not only doesn't forgive her, but he also refuses to hear out her side of the story or her reasonings, and continues to rant about how pissed he was at her THE ENTIRE EPISODE.

Even when she saves his life from a scorpion, he STILL gives her shit.

And you can TELL from her facial expressions that she was just DONE with everyone telling her she was the one that was full of shit.

And it wasn't just Jake. Earlier in the episode, Miriam called Ellie out and told her off, saying that her personally attacking Jake and Tom that was was WRONG.

And Ellie continues to DEFEND her actions instead of hearing them out, saying it was 'gameplay' and 'she needed to win' and 'friendships would've ruined her life'.

HMM, SHE'S NOT HEARING OUT THE OTHERS SIDE OF THE STORY AND INSTEAD CHOOSING TO DEFEND HERSELF AND GIVE THE OTHER PERSON SHIT. WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE?!

YOU DAMN HYPOCRITE.

(Hypocrisy is not bad characterization. It's very human and it's very real. I'm just saying it angrily cause it's an annoying trait in real life too)

And that leads to the scene on topic, where Ellie decides NOT to repair her friendship with Jake. She decides to ditch it, vouch for herself, and defend herself to the very end, even at the cost of Jake's psyche.

She's too caught up in justifying herself that her judgement and remorse earlier is completely clouded, and her empathy is secondary to her ambition and greed.

It's a tragic "She's too far gone" moment.

Now in her defense, (Yeah, I know), nobody was even trying to listen to her or understand her. They all merely only cared about their own personal feelings, and what they wanted from her. JAKE MOST OF ALL.

So due to her interactions with Jake before to understand who he was, she knew very well what his setbacks were and used them to her advantage to hit him where it hurt.

So no, I do not believe Ellie is making assumptions about Jake when she makes her rant in this moment. She KNOWS what she's talking about, and I think she genuinely believes, in her mind, that she is telling Jake what he needs to hear...

But uh... OH BOY NO.

I'm sorry girl, but NO.

On the other side of this, we have Jake.

Idk if Jake is a young adult or a late teenager, somebody's gonna have to clarify that for me. He joined the show while his beloved grandmother, who he claims was the only person in his life who truly understood him, was bedridden. At the start of the show, he joined with the intent of attempting to win the show and help her out...

Unfortunately, in the middle of the season, she passed away. So...

Yeah, that's heartbreaking, I have to imagine.

At the start of the show, he's basically the 'shy but sweet and kind cinnamon roll with a bite'. He was working with Tom, his crush, as the ones doing the heavy lifting in getting survival supplies for the group, and was the only one on that team who attempted friendly socialization with his teammates.

And yes, I mean that. Tom was more hostile due to his job, Miriam was the cranky old lady who pushed away everyone, Dan only cared about alliances, Grett was a bad bitch, Gabby was an outcast, and Drew... couldn't even talk.

It was JAKE who was trying to form genuine bonds with some of the people around him, seeing the best in them. He saw through Tom's mask right from the start and supported his leadership of the team, and he was the only one who showed kindness to Miriam even when she pushed him away.

And while I would NOT consider Jake a good strategic player of the game, that's also because he had no intention to 'use' anybody. He just wanted to form bonds with them.

He read to me as someone who craves bonds. Love. In all forms.

He says that his grandmother was the only one who truly understood him. Which implied that the rest of family... might not be the most loving people. Do I think it's an abusive household? No. But rather one that sounds... cold. Distant.

Or maybe they're homophobic. Idk.

I mean, he calls this 'Shawn' guy over his own parents. Even Grett called her parents, and her parents are shit. (Idk who Shawn is, whether that's a friend or a sibling. Someone needs to clarify that for me.)

There's also Jake's anxieties around cemeteries. His grandfather passed away when he was a kid, and he would always go with his family to send flowers. Which surrounded him with death and loss... how god knows how many years. Idk, if forcing a child to be around a place that gives them anxiety all the time doesn't scream a cold and misunderstanding parent, idk what does.

I feel like it was that episode where the signs started to show, that "OH. This boy is NOT a cinnamon roll. He's got issues."

And then as the season went on, he shows a lot more... uh... FLAWS.

Yeah, I know, a flawed character? That's like having the plague.

He has a lot of anxieties about certain things, such as his own fears of death and loss (probably why he decided "It's a perfect time to join a reality show!"), and with people possibly using him.

It's implied that the time between this and the show is narrow. Jake was previously in a toxic relationship that fell apart when his ex, (not named), cheated on him. He couldn't get over it, and they split.

This may also be my angsty brain talking and I'm reading too much into it, but he also says when talking about the subject he "got hurt". And during the Episode 10 'believing the lie' segment, he expresses concern about how EVERYONE sees him as an idiot they can use. They can CONTROL him. They ALL take advantage of him and deceive him for their own gain.

No, it's not S/A, there's no hints of that sort of thing, but that still heavily implies that this previous relationship caused... quite a bit of PTSD from what happened in such.

So... yeah, it drives my point further that Jake is an anxious paranoid bean who just wants to be loved by people. Above all else.

He succeeds at forming a bond with Miriam and getting her to open up to everyone, and she even calls him 'the grandchild she never had'. He also forms a bond with Tom, gets a crush on him, and gets him to open up about his intentions, and scars, and not be ashamed of them. They even kiss. How wholesome.

And then it's revealed to Jake that Tom is a spy, and has been lying to Jake this whole time about such...

And he BLOWS UP at Tom's face about it.

Yeah, so Jake may or may not be very impulsive and emotional.

This man DOES NOT think before he speaks. He holds a lot of grudges. He has no problem speaking his mind. And he loves to talk about his own past experiences with others, regardless if they ask, to 'bond' with them to get them to understand him better.

(He just like me fr)

While Tom is part of the blame too, because... he lied. Jake soured their relationship by not hearing him out and continued to lash out.

And then Ellie joined the team after a swap with her and Grett, and she quickly becomes acquainted with Jake. She notices Jake's conflict with Tom, and she offers to understand his side of the story. He tries to brush her off, not wanting to do yet another trauma dump, but she insists, and assures him that she's very respectful and understanding.

And so she's the one to give Jake the advice to hear out Tom's side of the story, apologize, and try to mend their bond. Advice he actually takes, as he apologizes to Tom, several times, and fully confesses to his selfishness in the situation.

Tom shuts him down several times because... it's Tom. But at least on Jake's end, he's the one to take the first step in admitting his wrongs and making up for it.

It was thanks to Ellie, a newfound friend, that was able to get through to him and get him to cool off. And I feel like it's because of her doing that, that he stuck up for her and refused to vote her.

Going back to Jake seeing good in people, Jake was the only one besides Gabby who didn't join the popular crowd in voting Ellie. He saw that she was not a bad person and willingly gave her a chance when no one else did.

Again, besides Gabby, but Gabby already knew Ellie before Ellie joined the team. So it's even more impressive for Jake, who just met her.

As impulsive, paranoid, and messy Jake is, it NEVER came across to me as he WANTS to be that way. These are all coping mechanisms to people constantly using him and deceiving him throughout his life that are on autopilot. He thinks emotionally. And said emotions cloud is better judgement.

Oh gee, it's almost like he's a human being.

So... imagine how Jake feels when the friend that helped him comes up to him and says that his crush is a scumbag who is using him.

Just like his ex did...

Yeah, that's gonna trigger some PTSD and cause Jake to act irrationally.

In Jake's defense (again), he DID consider that maybe something wasn't right, that it was a lie, and that Tom wouldn't do this to him. But it was Ellie who kept on gaslighting him with his own trauma to prevent him from pursuing a conversation with Tom.

So... yeah. I really can't blame Jake for not talking to Tom about it, cause, uh... he NEVER had the chance. Ellie wouldn't let him have the chance. What was he supposed to do?

But Jake DID ultimately fall for the trap and believed the lie, which was the driving force of giving the villains the opening they needed to vote off Tom...

...with the deciding factor being Jake's own vote on Tom. That he likely did as a throwaway vote.

Shit.

Yeah, and then Ellie gets outed by Fiore as the one who lied, deceived, and used him, personally using his trauma to destroy the relationship he formed. And once it's outed it's already too late, as Jake is only left to BEG for forgiveness that he does not get, as Tom denounces their relationship entirely.

Ellie used him. Ellie took advantage of him. Ellie ruined what he had. Ellie caused this.

So is it any wonder that Jake is pissed at her? I know I would be.

This was very personal shit for him. His relationship with Tom was something special for him. It was a rekindling of love, and validating for Jake that he could help someone for the better and bond with them. And in a day, it's all gone, with only Jake being the one blamed.

All because a so called 'friend' wanted money.

So of course Jake is not going to hear Ellie out at all, or forgive her. To him, this is just Ellie showing her true colors. That she's just like everyone else who hurt him and used him and controlled him.

Jake does NOT have to forgive Ellie for that. That's his choice. Especially if he's upset with her.

What really surprised me was Jake's offer forgive Ellie by giving him immunity.

This could mean two things: One, he genuinely wants to cool off and give her another chance. Or Two, he's testing her and seeing if she'd choose friendship over the money.

I think it could be both.

Either way, she declines his offer, and then begins to SHAME him for everything he's been feeling the entire episode.

"You can't shame Ellie. Ellie's not the one at fault for you losing Tom. It was YOU."

"It's YOUR fault, Jake."

"You deserved it, Jake."

"You're an annoying piece of shit, and no one will ever love you."

And... well, I think his face at the end said it all. That HURT him.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jake has gained even MORE PTSD from his experience on the show, and this in particular.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Jake is ten times worse in another season because of these experiences. Hostile, whining, difficult to work with, and not trusting anyone ever again. And also self loathing cause he'd think no one would want him or love him anyway.

But that was 'calling out'. Wouldn't that make Jake want to be better instead of regress as worse than he was before?

Well, here's my beef, if this was supposed to be 'Ellie calling Jake out' it did NOT work as that. That instead came across as shaming.

The reason I analyzed both characters was so you could understand that I am not trying to glorify one or the other. Especially when I say this.

‘Girlboss moment’ this is definitely not.

Ellie ditching Alec? That was a great girlboss moment. Dude deserved it. And she didn’t have to shame him for how shit he treats his family to do it.

But THIS?!

I’m sorry, but everything she said in that speech was quite bullshit and not well thought out.

Now, I am all for Jake getting called out. Like I said, there ARE things worth calling out. Jake DOES deserve to get called out for certain traits.

But this is not how you do it.

So let me debunk all these lines:

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

That’s a death threat.

Plain and simple.

“Eat shit and die” IS a death threat.

This woman gave him a death threat.

INSTANT NO.

"And 'Boo Hoo, Aww, I Got Cheated On'. Grow the hell up, Jake."

Okay, 50/50

On the one hand, Jake does whine about his personal life. A lot.

On the other hand, this is also downplaying Jake’s trauma with that issue. Regardless on how you feel about it, it clearly has an effect on them and shouldn’t be brushed off as ‘oh they’re just being whiny’.

How would you like it if I downplayed YOUR issues, Ellie?

“Boo hoo, I’m in debt and I can’t follow my dreams and I’m an outcast” Grow up Ellie.

DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, DOES IT?

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama."

Um… except he IS a victim?

I’m sorry, but think about it.

Idk the full details of Jakes previous relationship, but I think getting cheated on definitely counts as being a victim of that circumstance.

Also, YOU USED HIM, YOU FIORE AND ALEC DEVISED A PLOT TO USE HIM.

Don’t act like that’s not him being a victim when you’re the orchestrator.

Also “You’re really just a sponge for drama”. And you aren’t? And Fiore isn’t? And Grett isn’t? And Tom isn’t?

I guess Ellie didn’t witness the majority of her team getting eliminated because of a child being a sponge for drama.

"You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

For that to be true, Jake would actively be doubling down on every time he’s ever yelled at someone for something. Except that’s not the case.

For that to be true, he would never recognize he’s at fault and apologize over and over. Except that’s not the case.

For that to be true, he wouldn’t care for Miriam in the beginning. Of Tom. Or you.

"Tom probably saw it too. You have no right to shame me."

He DOES have a right to shame you.

YOU HURT HIM.

AND YOU KNOW YOU HURT HIM.

This is STRAIGHT UP Ellie saying “It’s not my fault, it’s yours, because I said so. You can’t blame me.”

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

Again, Jake came clean to you about voting Gabby. And you were cool with it. You said it yourself. This is the only time you’ve ever shown beef about that.

AND Fiore Alec and Grett betrayed your trust cause you didn’t know they were gonna vote Gabby. So you’re gonna blame JAKE? Okay??

Also, what analogy is that supposed to be?

Supposedly she’s comparing this to Tom’s elimination. But those eliminations are not comparable.

Did Jake toy with your personal feelings and relationship with Gabby to vote her off? No?

SO WHAT THE HELL??

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

NO. JUST STRAIGHT UP NO.

This is something SO VILE, that I actually physically cannot understand it if you tell me that’s a ‘good roast’.

That is not what this is. Again, this is SHAMING.

This whole thing is her shaming Jake for his trauma and digging it in his head that he deserved all of it. Because ‘he’s annoying’.

Ellie doesn’t know WHY the ex cheated on Jake (unless Jake told her off screen). Maybe it was because the ex found Jake annoying, idk. BUT THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE.

That triggers so much more of the trauma in that moment as ‘he left you because you were annoying’, and definitely brought back some shit.

Imagine someone who knows that you were abused by someone tells you that because they don’t like a certain trait of yours, you deserved the abuse. NO. NO ONE DESERVES TO HAVE THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO THEM, REGARDLESS IF YOU HATE THEIR CHARACTER.

That doesn’t mean abused people can’t be bad people. Nor does past abuse excuse bad actions. But it’s something that at least shouldn’t be shamed because, in what world, is abuse the victims fault?

Saying this stuff to someone makes the person’s psyche so much worse. They not only feel attacked, but it’s a kick starter to a lot of dangerous self loathing and anxiety, which could lead to them acting worse.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there personally.

Yeah that’s another reason why I was so hurt by this scene. It just did a lot of personal flashes in my head. I’m in a better place now, but in terms of my past in school as a teen, I was Jake. I was whiny, impulsive, beefed with all my bullies, and loved to rant to strangers. The reason being that the school environment was giving me so much anxiety and problems, and no one wanted to help me. I was a pain in the ass and everyone hated me. Some would even say it aloud knowing I was in hearing range “I can’t stand *my real name*” “I know, right? She’s so annoying!” Most of them would bully and harass me KNOWING I would react emotionally and just wanted a kick out of it.

I wasn’t cheated on. That never happened to me. But I did have a toxic friendship that lasted for years. I got hurt very badly. I was used, manipulated for my attempted kindness, shamed whenever anything good happened-it was not good. Then they got into drugs and I left before I could fall victim too. Idk where they are now and I don’t care.

And then the teachers, AKA, the adults, sided with them and not me and joined in on shaming me. Even stopping the whole activity just to talk down to me and discredit me.

So… you can imagine the flashbacks I got from watching this scene.

Bottom line is, I got help, I moved out, and I like to think I’m a much better and more mature person now. Still struggle with anxiety though.

But hey, I guess there was no other way Ellie could’ve approached that.

Oh wait no. Because there’s ANOTHER ‘calling out’ scene in the SAME episode.

The one where Miriam calls out Ellie for her personal attacks.

Miriam didn’t go after Ellie’s personal stuff at all in that. She was calm, she listened to Ellie’s defenses, and she countered them accordingly. It was clear she was saying that with good intentions to help Ellie recognize her mistakes. Ellie didn’t listen, but that’s not Miriam’s fault.

THAT is how you call out a loved one for their wrong actions. You have to consider their feelings, tell when what they did wrong, and be there to help them improve in themselves.

You don’t shame personal stuff like this.

Now, I’m not saying that the scene is bad writing. Maybe Ellie going at this the wrong way IS the intention of the scene and we’re supposed to not side with her. But if that was the case wouldn’t everyone be saying she crossed a line here? Regardless if you’re an Ellie Stan or not.

For Jake especially, Miriam would be the harsh judge I imagine to call him out on his actions and behavior, to have him recognize that he was part of the blame for Tom leaving him. That he was stupid, impulsive, and there was a reason he’s so easy to be taken advantage of.

I got a talking down like that from my own parents, and it really opened my eyes to how shitty I was.

So I feel like this scene is gonna have significant consequences to Jake’s psyche. As much as I would love to see Jake realize his faults and redeem into a better person, I have a gut feeling that’s not where this direction is going and he’s just gonna get worse until everyone hates him.

It just won’t be in Season 1 because it’s close to the end and Jake is… you know…

Ellie has far more routable motivations than Jake does. But she went at this the absolute wrong way.

Should’ve just stole the idol.

And you know what’s worse than not stealing the idol? SHE DIDNT EVEN NEED TO DO THIS.

It was BECAUSE of this scene that she lost the challenge! If she actually WAS all about gameplay, she would have just said ‘no’ to Jakes offer, shoved him, and left. And she would’ve won. BUT NO.

If you ask me, writing wise, Ellie should’ve just gotten the immunity. I think that would’ve made a lot more sense than Alec snagging it last minute. Jake and Ellie were never voting together anyway.

They could’ve. But it’s because of their own issues that they refused, didn’t see the light, and caused this whole thing.

Huh. I guess that’s why the scene is called ‘Lights Out’.

Anyway, there’s my rant. Fuck this scene.

[mcflymemes]

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the television show, season 2

i don't want to disappoint you, but this is not the first time i've had a gun pointed at me.

it's easier to get a master's degree than a parking spot on campus.

yeah, i know. check the trunk.

you say that like it means something.

missed me that much, huh?

i lost someone once.

when the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion.

you're too hard on yourself.

i'm like a sponge. i just absorb information.

i gave you your career.

i got a coupon.

who's gonna believe a guy like me?

so that leaves you.

ready, honey?

it sounds like you're making this personal.

god knows you haven't let me touch you in three years.

you're very good. you could work for me.

you were the kind that guys fall all over themselves trying to impress.

i thought that was my line.

you don't believe me?

i could have been a rock star.

i've always wanted to go there.

i don't know the basis of your allegations.

instead, i want you.

i can't believe you're doing this to me.

we told them what happened.

i just realized that you and i have a very healthy relationship.

i've never told anyone before.

no one's ever asked me that before.

you don't know what you're talking about.

you smell like death.

someone will be with you shortly.

i love this table.

you're too smart for that.

you're supposed to say something revealing back to me.

truth brings closure.

rich people don't go to jail.

i don't believe in rules that tell me how i should live.

they're your best feature.

you have to be able to walk away at any time.

no criminal charges were filed.

did you feel sick?

how many meals have we shared together?

kind of sounds like you.

i'll give you a lift.

sex is physical. is that a sport?

i know you're upset.

people don't vanish.

were there any disturbances last night?

you showered.

if there's one thing you learn on this job is that human beings are capable of anything.

i knew you were coming back today, so i dressed up.

you did this to yourself.

how's your new toy working out?

they were kinda cool back in the day.

how can you tell just by looking at it?

they're still dead.

you sucked at team sports, huh.

i notice you have no photos of your family in your office.

it doesn't make you any less guilty.

you ever been to therapy?

look, i was just doing my job.

take a guess.

our job is to think.

this is the thanks i get?

i just got the results.

you were okay sharing your problems with a complete stranger?

that's the funny thing about choices. once you make them, you have to go live with them.

i know what they look like.

this is going to take forever.

i'm playing cards.

did you enjoy being in the field?

sometimes i hate this job.

i always thought you kept your porn in there.

why did you need the expensive one in the first place?

you see my face? this is me almost believing you.

what does that look like?

wherever you live is your temple, if you treat it like one.

what's going on with you?

it's just unusual to see you dressed like that.

i enjoyed it fine.

you got anything to add?

can you think of a better time?

where have you been?

i don't think it's worth it.

i can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.

you're flying solo, cutting me out. what's going on?

i always knew there was something weird about you.

give me a mint.

the past is in the past.

other than that i really don't care.

you can give a man a lot of things. you can give him your time, your money, even your heart. but the one thing you can never ever let go of is your power.

you still smell.

i wouldn't expect anything less.

since when are you interested in beauty?

why are you looking at me?

someone gonna cover me?

whoever this guy is, he's a lousy shot.

they're looking for me, you know.

[changelingirl]

Summer Schoolmistress (a fallen london lore post)

This is the result of me and @mayli-song throwing things back and forth as soon as she got released. The Summer Schoolmistress is a Whitsun special and costs Fate so everything is below the cut, but LETS TALK ABOUT TREES!

First: some of the Fun Clues that tip you off to, and then outright state, what she is physically! This part isn't really up for debate. She's a tree. She'll tell you outright. (Why a tree looks like a person is another question. Gijinka headcanons real question mark.)

She rests her fingers in a bowl of black liquid on a side table, and lets them drink like the roots of a tree. Her flesh goes taut and strained, and she shudders.

Once you've watched her kids a few times, you can ask her what she is and actually get a response; funny enough, she starts off with the weird esoteric stuff and then becomes more understandable. From "asking about her nature":

She picks up a teacup. The cup is miniscule in her palm. "I was not born in the usual way. It was a subtractive process: all acts of consumption have their byproducts. Accidents. Waste. I am the remnant of one such consumption." The teacup rattles the saucer as she sets it down without taking a sip.

From asking her why she cares for all the Whitsun babies:

"I know a little of parental duty. Of how it feels when it is not upheld. I will not permit such failings while I am able to prevent them."

(Given that she outright states that the Bazaar is her parent, and the Whitsun children, at least some of them, are also sentient and aware of their parentage--from the Tracklayer city plotline--I put my first speculation here, regarding her motive; she lives outside the city, but still near it, and watches the children. She both resents the Bazaar and yet refers to the Sun in a derogatory way for not coming back to it. Very eldest-daughter-who-had-to-raise-her-siblings energy, complete with the very complicated feelings about your parent that it can instill if you're aware of whatever they're going through and yet still had to raise your siblings.)

When you can finally ask her about the Bazaar;

..."Four catastrophes in, and not a one has seen it yet – the Bazaar is a saprotroph, and drains his cities dry." Are you imagining it, or is there now less tea in her cup? "One thing would sustain him truly." She looks to a painting of the Sun, hung above the mantle, and closes her eyes. "But he is too immature and craven to return."

A saprotroph is a fungus, or another organism that feeds on dead bodies. I think this is probably more metaphorical than anything. She speaks in plant metaphors a LOT.

This is also the part where she's rude to the Sun.

Eventually, she'll tell you about her mother.

"In some ways, I am my mother. In many others, I am not." Her voice is soft; her gaze distant. "She was the oldest tree in London when it fell. Her roots are my roots." A long pause. "We all grow where we may, and accept any kindnesses we can. You, I think, have been kind."

And returning to the first thing she said;

"My birth was a process of subtraction. All that remembered the Sun was wrung from my parent like water from a sponge, to satisfy his unrequited pining."

So; the oldest tree in London. The Bazaar took the part of the tree that remembered the sun, and she is what's left. (Not sure yet whether this is more of a graft/cutting situation or if she is literally the same tree in a Rose Quartz/Steven Universe kinda deal. It honestly sounds more like the latter with how she describes it, but she talks in a very roundabout metaphorical way pretty constantly.)

Anyway the oldest tree in London is called the Totteridge Yew;

Now technically, this tree is located outside of London city, in the suburb of Totteridge. I briefly toyed with trying to figure out whether it would've been taken in the Fall before Mayli put me on the right path once again, via Mutton Island's trees. At one point when bringing back supplies, Summer brings back a withered apple; one of the only places in London where apple trees are still growing, however badly, is Mutton Island.

Mutton Island was stated to previously have been a suburb of London; the word resembles Totteridge in the kind of loose way that a lot of Fallen London's location names resemble their surface counterparts. And more importantly, Totteridge is located in Barnet--and Low Barnet is located right underneath Mutton Island.

Conclusion: I think I can pretty safely say that the Summer Schoolmistress's mother is the Totteridge Yew. Also, RIP to all those suburbs in between central London and Totteridge that presumably just kinda fell into the Zee.

[sensei-venus]

Getting steamy w merman!hawk??

(Unedited) (Mer!Hawk, merman/tentacle dick??, Mermaid/Merman Anatomy, Blowjob, Public Sex, Beach Sex.)

“How do we- how do we do this?” Reader blinked as she looked down at Hawk’s lower navel.

The boy was laid out on the soft sand of the beach. His long tail was stretched out on the ground in front of her. His breathtaking purple and blue scales glistened with sea water in the moonlight.

If Hawk wasn't so cocky she would have told him how sappy he looked right now. The whole scene in front of her looked like a chapter from a fantasy book. The way he was looking at her right now only made it even more real. His pretty blue eyes were lust-filled as they peered over at her. Sending filtration filled looks her way the whole night so far.

He wiggled his eyebrow at her before saying “Well you could start by coming over here. Get a better view of what I'm working with.” Reader blushed a little but nodded anyway. She slowly crawled over to the tailed boy before stopping just in front of him. Her eyes taking in all of his beautiful features up close. It felt so new to be this close to him even after the multiple times she sat near him.

For a merman he was built, the slight outline of abs over his tight belly. Nice collar bones and tight pecks. Even his cheekbones were handsome.

“I really enjoy the staring but I think we would both enjoy touching way more.”

“Oh uh yeah your right sorry…” Reader felt completely out of her element at the moment.

“Hey it’s ok, this is new to both of us. I have never been with a human before and I'm pretty sure you have never been with a merman before.”

“You're just saying that because you know that you were the very first merperson I ever meet.” she rolled her eyes at the smirking merman. He seemed to find her embarrassment amusing. If she was being honest she really didn't find it all that funny.

Slowly he reached out and took one of her clenched fists, he was gentle as he got her to relax a little. Hand falling limp he moved it to his abdomen area. Gently he took one of her fingers and let it ghost over a small spot in the middle part of his tail. Her lips fell open in awe as she felt the new area. It wasn't exactly like the rest f his tail.

There was an odd area that didn't feel like his normal scales. It was small and hidden between a tiny patch of his beautiful blue and purple scales. Soft and slightly warm compared to his cold outer tail.

He chewed on his bottom lip to stop from moaning out as he let her stroke the area. It was definitely sensitive by the way he was acting. Her fingers danced over and around the area and it seemed to drive him crazy.

“What's that?”

“It's my slit, it's where my dick is at. I'm guessing humans don't have that?”

He lets go of her hand and let's get do her own thing. She hums as she feels around the hidden slit, she tries her best to be as gentle as possible. Her eyes linger over the spot. She says “No we kinda have all that stuff hanging out I guess?“ he closes his eyes and groans.

His pelvis bucked as her fingers dipped into the now puffy slit. Her eyes wished as her finger tips dipped into the warm wet heat. It was hot and warm against her skin, it made a quiver go up her spine. She could even feel his heart beat.

The sponge-like walls hugged her fingers like a vice. Welcoming her in and encouraging her to explore him more. Wanting her to feel all of him from the inside.

Her fingers went in deeper as Hawk allowed her inside his slit. His eyes rolled and his tail slapped out against the wet sand below. Slowly losing his cool.

Reader almost yanked her fingers out when she felt something get wiggle against her digits. Hawk was quick to grab at her wrist and keep her fingers inside him.

“Was that-”

“Yeah that's my dick, you got me excited. Playing with my slit is the only way to get it out.”

“But it moved!”

“Yeah so?”

It was only a second later when the wiggling against fingers grew more intense. Suddenly Hawk’s “dick” was moving and clutching at her fingers. It moved to hook around the fingers, squeezing and searching for more warmth. Seeking out her touches.

It wasn't long before it was pushing her out of his slit and freely moving around in the cool night air. Reader gasped as his dick finally came free.

Thick long and light pink covered in a thick layer of clear fluids. It dripped down the wiggling length and puddle around his open slit. It moved in the air searching for more attention. Obviously wanting Reader to go back to touch it. Hawk smirked at her expression, clearly happy with her taken-aback look.

“Touch it, I dont bite~”

Reader rolled her eyes at him before taking the chance. She reached out and let the appendage explore her hand. It flicked over her fingers and palms and slowly tried to go up her wrist. Squirming in her had trying to get her to fondle it. Chewing on her lip she tried to softly grip the new toy. The texture was hard but gave a little with a quick pump of her palm.

She watched as it wiggled against her palm seeking her warmth. She blushes a little as she starts to stroke him. She wonders if the warm slick dripping into her palm is pre or natural lubricant. It's sticky but also a bit watery as it starts to slick up her hand. The more she pumps him the more spills from both his tapered tip and hidden slit. Jerking him softly she finds him wetting her palm even more.

Her eyes lock onto his twisted-up face. His brows furrowed and his head threatened to slam back into the sand. Clawing at the sand next to him with his sharp claws. He grunts and groans as he gets closer to his orgasm. His tail twitched and his belly tightened.

“Fuck your really good at this!”

He bites back as he firsts his claws into the sand harder than before. Eyes rolled back into his skull trying to keep himself together. His poor lips are borderline bloody with the way his teeth dig into them. Reader can tell he's trying to keep himself together.

She can't help that her own heartbeat picks up as she watches him slowly melt under her touch. He's falling apart all because of her.

She picks up her pace as she watches his dick start to spasm. The tip weeping that same clear fluid that covered her hand and wrist. It pumped out like a leaking faucet down her hand. It glistened under the moonlight as it started to drip down her arm. It just wouldn't stop.

Watching it flowed down her hand made her mind race and her thighs clench. Wetting her lips she did the only thing her brain was telling her to do at that very moment.

Suck it.

Leaning down she gently licked around the wiggling cock. She licked around the weeping tip and tasted the strange fluid. It almost tasted like nothing, the slight tang of salty water mixed with the only thing that could be named “Hawk” meet her taste buds. It wasn't horrible, if anything the more she tasted it the better it got.

She could almost say it was a bit additive. It wasn't long until the tip started to unwrap itself to seek out her warm mouth. Finding the hot cavern more interesting than her hand.

It prodded at her lips for entry before sliding in with one go. Reader gagged a bit at first with the way it stretched her lips open. She moans as it goes deeper into her mouth and taps at the back of her throat. A few seconds later and it taps her throat and slides in. Gagging she grips at his slim waist in hopes of finding some kind of grounding. But this only makes him moan out and buck harder.

She tries her best to suck around him but his dick does most of the work.

Moving around her mouth and exploring her pretty tongue and throat. Taking the time to poke and prod.

It only takes a few more minutes before his cock vibrates in her mouth and seeks out the very back of her throat one last time. It pushes as far as it can into her tight throat before sputtering. It gives her no other choice but to gulp down his hot load. It sends rope after rope of water-like cum down her throat. Directly into her belly and filling her up all the way.

She tries her best to stay on and swallow as much as she can. It's hot as it spills down her throat. She can feel how it fills her belly, already physically feeling the way her belly starts to bloat from the copious amount of fluid. Her belly feeling tight and full as he finely starts to stop. A few more sports and he wiggles back to life in her mouth.

With a small pop it retreats from her mouth. It gives no time as it slowly retreats back to its now puffy slit. It already looks raw.

She does her best to collect herself, licking her lips of the remaining strange cum. She coughs as she is finally able to breathe again. Her long filled with salty beach air once again. Looking up she finds Hawk boneless on the sand. Fallen completely limp onto the sand.

He's panting and breathing heavily, his chest and cheeks painted a bright pink in the light. His slit is still twitching from the intense orgasm he just had.

For a split second she swears he is about to cover his poor abused slit from the slight breeze.

He looks over to her in a haze, his eyes full of lazy lust. She can't tell but she wonders if his eyes have caught sight if her extended belly, his gaze falling down. She wonders if he is checking out her bloated belly.

She runs a hand over it to feel the slight distention of her new belly. She questions how long it will stay like that. Her belly is full of his warm cum.

“D-definitely didn't see that coming. Sorry about uh how watery it was. It's uhh thicker during the matting season I guess.” he stammers a bit, still trying to collect himself. Their eyes briefly meet.

“So that just means I have to wait till then right? See how thick your load can get for me right?” she smirks at him. His cheeks grow brighter as he slowly nods.

“Yeah, I guess so~”

[mothpile]

mes's webcomic recommendations

do YOU like webcomics or want to read some ? here are some i think are good NO im not gonna put my own here even if i think its good. -_-

starting with . i Think these ones are popular and well known..?

Paranatural - A story about paranormal ghosts and stuff. It's a real fun time, and the story is really good. The author's art progression is really impressive, truly skilled with paneling and such. It does eventually shift into a webnovel format with drawings as the author couldn't keep up with doing pages like before, and the quality of goodness of the story stays strong 👍👍

Tiger, Tiger - Story about the importance of sea sponges. Also a fun time, sea faring adventure about, again, sea sponges and how important they are nothing else OK? promise. (liar) PHENOMENAL artwork, very pretty to look at.... 👍👍

The Property of Hate - I need to reread it because i forgetted a lot but its such a cool looking comic and sooo interesting OK?! i swear. It's about a kid being a hero.

Vainglorious - a fun comic about a dragon facing Hubris Consequences. The main trio is real fun, the world is cool, all in all fun comic okie !!

Sakana - Slice-of-life comic about some folks working at a fish stall in a fish market. Real fun. Been on hiatus for four years, but is gonna make a comeback soon (author is working on building up buffer pages And then... ! ) But yeah! real fun.

Witchy - ... one i have to reread, it's been on hiatus since forever as the author was working on another comic (thatllbe out... in a while?), though i assume when that's done they'll come back to this...? Anyhow, I remember it being a very gripping story, and beautifully drawn... Also it's about witches. if. you . couldnt tell by the.. title...

NOW, onto ones that ... i dont Think are super well known ... ?

EcopportunityX - An interactive stick figure limited color palette comic about a facility where bad shit has happened ! uhoh! What the hell happened here! Follow the protagonist on their journey of learning what happened, and escaping the facility. Also, space pinball and ball pit beast is there. 👍👍👍

Eye in the Sky - And it only feels right to bring it up as well, but this is a fancomic of ecopportunityX ! ... Contains eox spoilers, so perhaps read the original first! This one features original characters and takes place a bit before eox, it's nice ok i like it :]

Gold Scissors - One of my all time favourites TBH. The art is nice, I love the story, the world is so cool i love it a lot... do yourself a favor and read it...

Midnight Connection - Finished! by the author of Gold Scissors, it's a short comic that takes place in the same universe, you can get through it in one sitting!! sniffles.

Brainchild - Comic about girl seeing weeeeeird stuff. Ghosts?! who knows. Tis a cool one OK read it...

Fairmeadow - "i hate being on the hippee comune they are always telling me Peace and Love on planet earth , orc lady, Peace and Love, and they do not leave me alone" - true real 100% words said. you can read it and youll see. Very pretty looking, ...

Holly & Macy and Everyone Else - comic about two teens learning about HOMOSEXUALITY and being a witch and its a very sweet .. i like it ok? it's also on tumblr @/ hollymacycomic

Falling to Far - i thiiink? its kinda just getting started, its about two star kids that just arrived to the planet of Far, and they are just checking how things are here rn. okie! its nice ITS ON TUMBLR! my fellow tumblr-hosted webcomicers lets gooooo

Daisy in DREAMLAND - ........ not a .. webcomic. Tis more a webnovel, i believe. It has pictures. Very cool looking guys, love the style, someone drench this cat in a bucket of water.

Needleminder - because fuck it we put webnovels here too I GUESS. it has pictures sometimes. haven't caught up with it recently tho BUT it's Very interesting and gets weird with it in cool ways...

Star Impact - comic about boxing! fighting! and people have gloves that give them a gimmick power tis pretty fuckin cool!

Kitty Corner - Comic about someone who sees ghosts. this ones kiiinda just getting started i think..? put its been promising so far, i like it ANOTHER TUMBLRHOSTED WEBCOMIC LETS GO BABY!

PISS HOLE - The greatest comic ever drawn with a broken trackpad.

Going Home - a comicabout a kid who has t *red dot appears on forehead* *sweats**starts to go get the link to the comic* *snipers pull the t