#So much has changed but my love for Phil never will

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Thank you so so much @biathediamond @icyfox17 @salineroses and Pinestripe for sending in such darn lovely asks for the AU game!! I’m having a lot of fun with them :D

[reignpage]

Stairs or Brooms?

10:45am By Y/N

Good morning Students of Eden!

The last week has been hectic, certainly a rollercoaster none of us remembered getting on, but we sure don’t want to get off. 

Or do we?

Since according to an informant, who will stay anonymous, a cheerleader and a member of Omega Phi were getting it on behind the old stairwell of the Psychology building. 

Sound familiar?

Well, that’ll be because it isn’t the first time a cheerleader has taken a wild ride behind some stairs. 

You’ll remember a campus-wide email sent in June of last year detailing the complaints members of the cleaning staff reported on ‘mysterious remnants staining’ the floors and walls which they found ‘extremely difficult’ to clean out. CC’ing the coach of the cheerleaders, none of us missed the implication. Ending with a reminder of the Code of Conduct we all agreed to upon acceptance of our offers, the good people of EdenU were left wondering, who were the culprits creating these stains?

Having conducted a poll, linked here, there ended up being no majority consensus on what it could have been, but a sizeable number of the student population, and beyond (thanks to the people of Eden City, much love), theorised it was ‘liquids of love’, as a Holistic Health researcher put it nicely. 

We never did get an answer. 

Until now?

Another informant kindly entered the Psychology building with a magnifying glass and pipe -- two fundamentally important ingredients to a good snoop -- and investigated for us. Their exploration led to a discovery of a used condom. 

That’s a present he’ll never forget. 

Though, I don’t recall if they ever reported what they did with it. Let’s just hope it isn’t a repeat of BlueToothGate — it still gives me nightmares. 

Now we have two incidents of inappropriate uses of stairwells, is it still too early to wonder, what is it about stairs that gets people going?

Perhaps it’s the curves of the bannister as it rounds over the corner, or is it the creaking of the third step that drives people wild? 

It’s entirely possible that we’ll see a rising trend of stairwellphilia and I, for one, cannot wait. 

Speaking of Philias, the rumoured cousin-lovers both named Phil, after 78% of you voted, have been sighted once more. This time in the broom cupboard of the Literature department. Was it a moment of convenience or something more?

Is there also a rise in broomphilia?

Should we be concerned?

Will the school ever make a stand?

So many questions but only one certainty:

We say NO to cousin-love!

Or, at least, 52% of us did. 

I do not want to know why it was such a close call. But I’m sure you’ll tell me anyways in my Insider’s Line.

On to more pressing matters; how is our List looking this time?

Drum roll please….

Gojo stays at number one!

Anyone surprised?

Before someone starts, no, I am not biased. The number of confessions regarding him are staggering and that has not changed, only grown, since he entered the fold. 

Having thrown yet another smashing bash, this time in Genesis Park, the president of Alpha Phi Delta secured his spot as the most desired man on campus. People reported the utter genius of using the skate ramps as beer pong tables and his quick thinking to hide the beloved pug mascot of our rival, Eden Met, down the slide. 

The picture taken by his friends cuddling the adorable puppy in his shirtless arms has, I’m sure, been printed out and pasted on every surface of many girl’s bedrooms. 

No judgements here. 

The silent but deadly man of campus, lovingly known as Hot Nerd Nanami, has risen up the rankings after many months of stagnation at 13th to 4th after he was seen abandoning his frumpy blue sweater in favour of a plain white tee. Boring and basic on anyone else but downright scandalous and drool-worthy on the physics student.

As some people have confessed, this is the most bare we've ever been able to see of him. Is it the beginning of a new era?

Or was it just laundry day?

Whatever the reason may be, we are sure glad it happened.

Apart from the usual, one other interesting change in our List is Vice President Sukuna’s rank — having been at 5th last time, he’s been bumped up to 2nd. And it wasn’t because of a shirtless picture he posted on Insta, for once.

No, this time, there are videos circulating the Bulletin which displays him, in the background of Gojo's disciplinary hearing, eyeing someone up and down like they were the tastiest wagyu around. This is the most daring, most expressive, most human? we’ve ever seen our star basketball player. 

But just who was bringing that out of him?

Send in your guesses, people!

It’s time to play our favourite game:

Who Are You Looking At?

-------------

Some people wanted to see a example of Toji's reader's writing so I busted one out for y'all x

Not proofread btw

[fizzyorange-v2]

just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.

it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.

Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.

But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.

I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.

And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.

Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!

Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.

[cod-dump]

John Price who hadn't ever considered the idea of getting married even after figuring out he's bi. In the years he and Nik were together it still held only a dim interest to him, and he knew it wasn't necessarily what Nik would have preferred, but they never butted heads over it. Nik would ask about it every few years or so, but never with much seriousness from what John could tell.

Suddenly, it's been three years since Phillip showed up and wormed his way into their relationship, and John's been... thinking. He's seen how happy Phillip is to have partners in them, and he knows Nik is in second Heaven about it. But he's also still seeing people approach them both when they're out at night, and hell, he's had to fend off advances too. It bothers him.

He caves. Fine, maybe he's still not 100% sure about the whole marriage thing, and it's not like 3 people can get married anywhere they live anyhow. But no one needs to get married just to wear rings, he tells himself as he carefully wraps the pair of small boxes while Nik and Phillip are out of the flat.

He knows it was the right thing to do when he watches Phillip's face light up like Christmas. Nik stares at his gift for a second before shaking his head and muttering something in Russian and disappearing into their bedroom. John has a few seconds to get a little nervous before Nik returns--with a small cardboard box that he puts down firmly in front of John.

Nik folds his arms and gestures for him to open it, so he does. Phillip bursts out laughing, and John puts his head in his hand while Nik explains to Phillip.

"I have been asking this ridiculous man about marriage every few years now for over a DECADE. And he says not interested! Not interested!!"

"How long have you had this?" John asks quietly, staring at the gold and silver band.

"NINE FUCKING YEARS, MY LOVE. Just in case you change your mind, you impossible man! But here! You do this?? Without so much as dropping hints??" He gestures to the gold band sitting in his gift box and the black and silver one already in Phillip's hands. "Unbelievable. Kate will be die laughing at me. Are you happy? She will die, John--"

"I didn't know!"

“It’s been so long…”

“Nik…”

“I’ve waited so long for this- My heart can’t handle this!”

“Nikolai-“

“I knew I’d have to wait for you to make the move but fuck I didn’t think it would take you this long!”

“Stop being dramatic- Phil breathe-“

[dnpbeats]

so much about why dan loves phil and how phil changed him but what about how phil loves dan??

Okay. When I first read this ask I was like "I got nothing" lol. now obviously not because I think phil doesn't love dan, clearly I believe that he does. but you'll notice that everything I said in my dan loving gremlin phil post was based on things that dan has said. and when it comes to phil, that man is SILENT!! he keeps his mouth shut. so I was like I have nothing to extrapolate from here. but! then I realized that's not true!! bc I think phil is very obvious with his actions!

and honestly just the fact that phil lets us see how much he loves dan through his actions speaks volumes in and of itself. because phil has said so many times that he's a private person, wants to keep any relationship he has private, etc., and I think he's proved that he's serious about that based on the fact that he hasn't said jack shit about dan in the way that dan has said stuff about him.

and yet, phil SHOWS so much how he cares for dan!!! and he says things that allow us to read between the lines! like phil buying the japan tickets and surprising dan with them in 2015. we know that dan is not an impulsive person at all and likes everything to be meticulously planned out. phil knew dan was never gonna bite the bullet so phil was just like "well this is a thing that's happening now" (see also: 2009, phil telling dan to buy tickets to come visit him for the first time and 2023, phil making dan come back to the gaming channel because he knew it would be enjoyable for him again). he just knows dan so well and loves him sm that he doesn't let dan stand in the way of his own happiness. and even though phil is private he allows us see how much he cares for dan, he doesn't try to hide it at all

and then just things like. phil telling the bbc he wanted dan to do the radio show with him. phil calling dan up on stage at the boncas. phil just randomly mentioning dan on his channel(/having dan be there) while giving no context bc at this point he expects everyone to just Know who dan is. phil talking about how proud he is of dan and his book at the end of the hair cutting video bc he knew dan wouldn't let him get away with saying that shit in front of him but he just had to say it.

okay and in terms how dan has changed him/bettered him. I do not think phil was necessarily an unconfident person/struggled in the same way dan did but like obviously everyone is gonna have their own insecurities. but I really truly believe that dan just, lets phil be phil. I was rewatching some of the ditl videos the other day, and in the manchester ditl there's the iconic "phil's in his own little world again" with the fondest laugh ever. but then! london ditl, dan saying yes phil should go climb on the lion and then filming him running over to it (and then being annoyed at the guy who told phil to get off LMAO). japan ditl dan telling phil to go run over towards the bird. do you catch my drift? like phil's a lil quirky but dan doesn't love him in spite of it he loves him because of it!! he encourages phil's phil-isms bc he loves them! and then also just little things like when phil swallowed the glue and dan knew he was anxious so he talked with the paramedic and then texted phil everything that they said and that he was gonna be fine!! I think dan is probably a voice of reassurance for phil a lot. like they just both know each other so well and they know exactly what the other needs, yk?

sorry that I let this sit in my ask box for almost a week anon I just had a lot of thoughts to collect but yeah <3 that's all

[tyttamarzh]

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter.

This will probably be very long, so if you want to read it, go grab some popcorn and get comfortable.

I have to talk about this because it's eating me up inside. I think I shouldn't give so much importance to comments coming from sewers like Twitter and much less Tiktok, but it makes me so sick (and I'm such a masochist that I even spend time looking for the shit they say to make me angrier and debate them xD).

I am very happy that it was finally made official, with papers certified by the federation, that Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa, I think that was not entirely necessary for them, because they had assumed it for a long time (let's assume that Tallulah needed the pappers to end her W arc), although I suppose that more than anything it was done for those people who still cannot accept it or who deny the paternity of Phil and Missa (With Missa, although it bothers me, I can even understand it, he He hasn't been as present and many people don't know him, but god, it would be a crime to deny Tallulah's paternity to Phil, the man who has kept her alive and given everything for her throughout her life).

I'm glad that, although I have seen negative comments, the majority have been positive (even if it hurts them, it doesn't matter, it's official, screw them). Mainly, the negative comments have been from defenders of W and their arguments are so poor and weak that they are easily refuted. It is obvious that these people do not know Tallulah and have never met her, many do not even know how things turned out and say nonsense like that the current Llulah is an imposter, that it is not fair that they "rewrote" history and erased W (which It is false, Llulah's words make it clear that history was never changed, she simply moved on and that person remained in the past).

I refuted all those arguments on Twitter but screw Twitter, I hate the fucking character limit. So I'm going to expand (I have a lot of poison to get out of my skin). I have some points:

1- "That's not Tallulah" Of course it is her, those who witnessed her life and her growth during the year that passed, can realize that this was her natural evolution. She is the same girl who grew up overcoming her limitations, who suffered, who felt alone, who had abandonment problems, who everyone saw as a poor abandoned girl and who found comfort next to someone who has always loved her like a father and a brother who gave everything for her.

2- "They erased all her lore" No. Tallulah's lore is the one she built with Philza and Chayanne over the course of the year they lived together. Her relationship with W and her longing for him was only part of her story (although people made a lot of emphasis on that), but it was not the only thing that defined her, it never was and only people who never got to met her think that. They see her like an extension of that other person, as the only thing that kept him on the server, but did not see her as an individual character and definitely did not watch Phil's Vods and they never really knew her lore.

3-"How do they explain this in the lore?" Simple, there was someone in her life, someone who was her first father, but who spent very little time with her, who left a long time ago and who is currently no longer part of her life. She learned to let go of the past and focused in the family she has in the present, the family that loves her, that watched her grow up, that makes her happy and gives her security to believe in herself and that is the Death Family, Chayanne, Philza and Missa. Time passes, not all people stay, treasure those who are by your side and let go of what never brought you anything but pain.

4- "They should have created another egg and replaced her" Why replaceher? It has no sense or reason. She is a character who built her own story with her family, a story that never really involved that other person other than with one or another sporadic mention, why eliminate a character that evolved by itself? Little by little she separated herself from what she was at the beginning and that bond that she had with that first father was practically non-existent. What would be the point of eliminating it or replace her with another new character?

5- "No matter what other parents and appearance give her, she will always belong to W because she still carries the name he gave her" No. She never belonged to him. She lived with that man for 2 days and apart from leaving him the promise of a reunion, she did not contribute anything else to her life. She formed her own path, her passion for music was not because of him, it was something she already had before, her love for nature, for animals, everything was built in the days she lived with Philza (even with uncle Bad). She suffered for her first father but she moved on, she matured, she discovered her link with death and her powers as a medium, she acquired her own personality and little by little she built the Tallulah she is now.

She never belonged to anyone but herself and she always fought to prove that, but people insisted on dumping trauma on her and reminding her that she was an abandoned child waiting for someone who at a certain point was nothing more than an idealized dream, because There was never a real relationship between them, they never lived together long enough. She little by little made her decisions and chose the people she wanted to be her parents (and it's not that she had few options, Quackity, Bad and even F wanted to adopt her at the time and asked them to, but she was not a girl who was looking for parents). She could choose and she chose Philza, the person who had always been there for her and later she chose Missa, someone who despite not knowing her very well gave her his love unconditionally and gave her security when she needed it. Then she was able to feel the warmth of being part of a complete family.

6- "They should change her name because W gave her that name! That impostor is not Tallulah!" Why? Her name is not anyone's intellectual property, at the time it was given to her, it belonged to her for better or worse and yes, in some way it will always be a tie to her past, but a past she has already left behind and managed to overcome by creating new memories and dreams.

To a certain extent I understand those who became attached to her because she reminded them of that other person, but if they couldn't see her as her own character, it means that they never cared enough to make the effort to get to know her.

It would shock us all if a character we liked suddenly changed drastically and left behind what like us in the first place. But if they had really watched her, they would have realized that the change was not sudden, it was gradual.

She found in Phil a protective and understanding father who always put her and her brother before anything else, who suffered with her her pain and outbursts of frustration due to the depression caused by the absence of her first father. She found in Missa a cute and loving father who always showers her with love and helps her to have confidence in herself. She doesn't lack anything with them. She has closed a cycle of pain in her life and now she can heal.

She chose the look that makes her feel finally free to be herself, whatever the external reasons that led to that, she finally has a future ahead of her unbound by the past and prefers to be more like the people she considers her family now. If you can't see what all of this really meant to Tallulah and her evolution, it's because you never cared to see even 20% of her story. Well, since the middle of last year she began her journey to break away from a name and be herself, fighting to be seen for who she was.

If those people decide to continue supporting someone despite his shit, that is their right, but the server and the admin were also within their right to decide to kick him out and want to distance themselves from a person they consider unpleasant.

7-There were comments of another type, mainly from people who are really very lost with the lore, people who consider her the daughter of Quackity, even confusing her with Tilín (saying that Q didn't know if she was the daughter of W or Luzu and that she should get a DNA test), when we all know that from the beginning she was W's daughter as a single father and that the only reason Quackity could have become Tallulah's father was if to marry W, but that never happened, W didn't come back and Quackity was never able to develop that relationship with Llulah, she considered him a possible father because she knew W loved him, but Q always being kidnapped or something, they never really related much. There are people who, even with a certificate, continue to insist that Tallulah should have been given to Quackity to raise with Luzu (she had a tender interaction with Luzu and people were already asking him to adopt her, saying that she was alone and had no parents, I seriously hate them!) I shouldn't take seriously people who obviously haven't seen Philza even once and I know that many of those people are hispanic and are limited by the language barrier but if they don't have the slightest idea They shouldn't give their opinion… Tallulah is not an object to be passed from hand to hand, she chose and in order to do so she had to go through a very long and painful arc.

8- I firmly believe that it is a great win to now have a certificate that endorses who the people she considers her parents are, but I insist, it was not necessary, because that has been known for a long time and I am sure that if it was created it was to close the mouth mouth to all those people who are not capable of accepting that.

Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa (and no one else), she is part of the Death Family, that is her story, it is not a whim, a whim is continuing to link her to something she is no longer a part of or wanting to make her a part of a lore that never happened or wanting to give her other parents different from the ones she grew up with (Quackity already had Tilín, Richas and now Pepito, I don't think she needs more children and Tallulah doesn't need any more shitty drama in her life).

Tallulah is a beautiful being, both with her old look and with the new and as Missa says "She deserves only the beautiful things in the world"

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! And I can shout it a thousand times because it's true and she always was, but now it's certified by the government and no amount of complaining or tantrums can change that fact.

Sorry for my bad english. See you!! jajaja ando re agresiva, pero es que nadie se mete con mi familia xD

[astradyke]

No please tell us your thoughts on dinok, dinok is all I think about all the time

i waited to answer this for a really long time because i have been struggling to formulate some of my thoughts. i have two main thoughts about DINOK, but i only really explore one of them because i have long since thought the other one was a bit reductive-- which was essentially exploring the implications of Phil's absence in DINOK. i don't think phil himself, as much as i love him, should be centered or heavily involved in the discussion about DINOK, because as i go on to elaborate, i think everything internally and from an external meta about DINOK was very much about dan transitioning from a rumination period of his life to one where he confronts the idea of moving forward.

i think DINOK is fascinating when put in comparison to WAD, because both of them were functionally intended to do the same thing but had drastically different journeys.

DINOK was based on dan's experience with his sexuality in particular, based on the premise that if dan never came out as gay he would end up being a lawyer and et cetera et cetera, having a breakdown at age 30. from there he goes through a comedic journey (in a dark comedy way) where he reconciles with his own sexuality, and by the end presumably finds that kind of self acceptance and happiness. in a lot of ways, that end goal is really similar to WAD (as is the dark comedy because Woah), except WAD is a lot more global in its end goal-- with the idea that everyone may be doomed, but there is so much good in the world anyway, and so much one person can do to fight against that doom-- and is also a bit broader when it comes to dan! WAD is about dan's sexuality, but it's also about dan reconciling with the rapidly changing and- to him- deteriorating world. and with that comes some questions about his own content and other parts of his identity. it's about more than just his sexuality-- which is NOT to say that making a special about just his sexuality "wouldn't be enough", that's not my point at all. but what i'm saying is there's a difference of scope, and i think that difference came... because of DINOK.

like, DINOK is riding off of the freedom he experienced coming out in basically i'm gay. but as we saw repeatedly BIG didn't resolve a ton of dan's issues with his sexuality-- from his one-off comedy gig and gay and not proud (note that content in G&NP was cut by youtube for the original so we only saw a slivered down version. that being said im still insane about it but, as a disclaimer) we see that he struggled to feel pride with his sexuality despite having come out, didn't know where he fit into the queer community as a whole, and was altogether ruminating. DINOK, in my opinion, was dan trying to answer those questions fully in his own terms. it's him trying to grapple with the struggles he still has around his sexuality through the POV of a different version of him that may experience that more "acutely" than dan does-- because from a public perspective, dan very much is part of the queer community! he was like one of the top role models for queer British teens as voted recently in that one magazine i don't remember the title. but internally, it's different, and getting to explore that through the lens of DINOK Dan who does NOT present as being super in the queer community was probably a cathartic thought!

but with the inability to produce DINOK due to YouTube's overall negligence, that left dan in a strange position. his sexuality now felt almost used against him because of all these fucking originals he was getting dragged into, builboards in the like-- his sexuality was something that he should be proud of, with all these accomplishments and shows, but they felt hollow and not like something he really deserved. and that inherently segues into talks about capitalism and fame as a whole because -- after DINOK failed, dan was no longer working with hypothetical alternate universes, but was instead forced to reckon with his own.

quick detour to dystopia daily because i am really fond of it-- i think DD was also part of the WAD process in that it's about dan being trapped behind this persona but using it to kind of explore content creation, and himself, and in a lot of ways i think the performance was a satire but in other ways i think it was a cocoon phase. testing the waters of the future of daniel howell's content, but through dragging an antiquated persona into a different time in order to ask that. so i think it runs like DINOK -> DD -> WAD.

and by the end of WAD dan came out of it feeling more authentically himself, not liberated by the performance from DD, and not liberated through the proxy of his alternate universe self in DINOK. WAD is dan having to reckon with this as HIM, as daniel howell in the years 2022 and surrounding, as his own person. i admit at this part of the post that i did watch WAD but haven't rewatched it and that a lot of the segments weren't really my favorite so i don't actually remember beat for beat what happens in WAD (i'm more invested in WAD as a meta than as an actual stage show with segments, to be honest), but like... overarchingly that is about dan! it ends in a painfully vulnerable place, and he sheds away from the black and the shadows to start wearing orange and enter kind of this new phase of dan howell. one where he is more openly queer but is also more openly... everything! and we see all of that now when we see new content with dan and how happy he looks.

DINOK fascinates me because i wonder if the end outcome would have felt the same for dan. i think DINOK roots itself less in existential crises as a whole and more specifically those about his sexuality, while WAD asks the question of "what comes next?" which i think is really interesting and is also more helpful.

which is why, though i sometimes think about the fact that book deals tend to come in twos (fly high DAPGO) and that dan has only released one book thus meaning he could release DINOK as a book, the more i think about it the more i... don't think he would. i think the time for DINOK has passed. i think it was more of a psychological state for him, a rumination, and from here on it's about moving forward. to the day after the night.

... if any of this makes any sense at all, God i am yapping. but i hope you get it? i hope you get it.

[bunfloras]

i will NEVER be able to shut up about phil’s acting during rp. half of the time it’s subtle, and the other half? his voice cracking when he talks to the eggs, looking down and smiling when he talks with tallulah about how she’s changed. his whole body, his posture—hell, the way he articulates certain words. phil has been putting his whole heart into his roleplay as of late, and i think tonight’s stream and the consequences of chayanne and tallulah’s fight really hammered that home.

you can hear the smile in his voice, you can feel the fondness as though he’s literally talking to a loved one when he comforts her, no matter how exasperated he is. you can tell when his acting is coming from some place deep, and when he really truly cares. half of the shit he says is so clearly something he genuinely means.

this is the same man who used to put down his roleplay abilities, who’s used to being the side character that others use to progress their stories. phil is finally getting the chance to shine, and by god is he shining. there are so many powerful quotes to take away from tonight

“you’re just a kid, but you’re strong. because you’re my kid.”

“you’ve had too much put on your shoulders. and you’re right, it’s not fair.”

“just know that everything you’ve done, up until this point—i am so fucking proud of you.”

“i will always be in your corner. i don’t care what anyone else says.”

phil can act. he’s capable of creating the most realistic, heart-wrenching, raw emotion. he just needed a chance to do it

[arminmiflaco]

I was thinking about CM Punk (Phil) as your boyfriend. Smut!(not much), mdni!!!, ⚠toxic behaviors⚠

He is so arrogant and stubborn that he thinks he is always right, even when he is not, and inevitably wants to control you. You will never be able to dominate him, even if you want to.

The typical alternative boy and bimbo girl couple, you so sweet and innocent. He, a very disciplined boy, but a troublemaker... too much for your good.

He thinks you are his property, his jealousy is something you don't want to provoke! And it's not for you, but for those innocent people who end up paying the price.

Punk hates Jeff Hardy. According to Phil, Jeff has been lusting after you for a long time. You're a very pretty girl and that only fuels his jealousy, he doesn't want anyone else to see you but him.

When he found out that you and Jeff were friends, he almost went crazy, he wanted to smash his face in and never see you out of the corner of his eye again. He was mad, he thought you already understood that you can't have anyone else but him! Why do you have to talk to other boys? He has to be the only one in your life! Don't you have enough with him?

You have to understand!! He is so in love with you that he can't stand the idea of you spending time with others :(

Phil sits you on his lap and squeezes your cheeks so hard that it almost hurts.

- Doll, I hear you're talking to Jeff.

- W-what?

- I thought we talked about this, I don't want you talking to other guys.

- But that's not fair, I want to have friends! It doesn't mean I want to be with them :(

- You don't, but they do. Men's minds are so sick. I know Jeff, he obviously just wants a chance to fuck you.

- That's not true, Jeff is a good friend, he never talked to me like that...

- Y/N, I heard him say it, he's just another asshole who thinks he has a chance with you.

Obviously this was a lie from Phil to get you away from Jeff, but you never thought about it because you always saw Phil as someone who would never lie to you, who only cared about your well being.

You feel your heart breaking, you really thought Jeff respected you like you respected him, now your perception has changed and you don't want to see him anymore.

Punk sees the sadness in your eyes and hugs and kisses you, telling you how much he loves you and that he will always be there for you because he is the only one who cares.

☆°☆~

Now your hips are in the air as Phil mercilessly spanks you once, twice, even ten times as he angrily and lustfully claims you as his own.

- No one will ever fuck you like I do. No one will ever be able to have you.

Then he turns you over and penetrates you quickly. You were already wet from the foreplay, but it was so rough and unpredictable that you couldn't help moaning from the slight pain, little tears coming out of your eyes, while Phil ruins you in a fast way, kissing you almost without letting you breathe, with one arm hugging you, bringing you closer together and the other touching your tits. He would only stop kissing you to say things in your ear, his most disgusting thoughts about his jealousy and what he would do to you scared the hell out of u :( but at the same time you couldn't help but get horny.

☆°☆~

I'm sorry, I know there are mistakes (English is not my first language)

[rainbowchaox]

Pissa Reunion Masterpost: (Literally there’s so much content we got this is gonna be hella long pls help me)

FIRST OFF YA DONTCHA SEE WHY THE PISSA NATION IS LOCO OVER THIS DUO? WE HAVE BEEN STARVING. PHILZA ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL TO ONE WET CAT! And that is Missa. And secondly I got most of the earlier half of stream information from the lovely @pepper-mintzyy. Give your liveblogger some love and care.

First off the scene where Missa comes online and Phil is all “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!” And Cellbit immediately saying “Oh this your husband?” And Phil immediately saying yes without the platonic. THEN THEY PROCEED TO HAVE A FULL BLOWN BOAT DATE with legit felps being such a third wheel he legit says “Continue on forget I’m here”. Also the fact Cellbit pointed out “OH that’s why you have a skull on your backpack it’s because of your husband” and Phil immediately agreeing and Missa whimpering.

They literally like lowkey forgot they were on a mission and immediately was smitten with each other they high-key forgot the mission and people around them. The fact our wet cat almost dead rushed in to save Mr hardcore himself. The amount of times Phil has to save his husband. The fact Missa bought gifts for Philza IRL.

The fact when catching up Phil was all like “Oh we have another egg” not even thinking twice about accepting his husband as Tallulah second adopted father. The fact Missa was like “You are such a good father” in the down bad voice he is always in.

Literal highkey their cubitos flirting saying smooth shit like “Like the good old days" "nothings changed” and "the one thing that made you stand out". Like full on giggling and laughing and just chilling in each other company. The amount of time they were distracted by the actual major lore by each other just being there after so long is insane. Honestly believe not for others present they would not have reached the objective.

Phil being so sweetly protective of Missa and always making sure he is right next to him. Also the amount of soft showing off he did towards Missa is insane. The fact Phil numero uno priority is Missa and chayanne always. That has never changed despite Missas absence. The fact Missa never left his simpage for Philza and immediately seeing Phil be awesome and is “I c-can see your PECS”. Like bruh he is so down bad.

The fact Philza immediately seeing his husband getting wrecked by mobs decided then and there to give him SO MUCH GEAR LATER. Philza lanuage of love Definitely is Gift Gifting and Acts of service. The fact during Philza introduction to the new players Missa kept saying stuff like “That’s my love! that’s my love!”.

Missa soon had to leave to be a part of a Minecraft event of sorts. But right after he got back online because he wanted to se his husband and son. (Sadly chayanne already went to bed). The amount of miscommunication the death duo went through (With mainly bad being a third wheel and trying to cause problems in their relationship). Landduo was legit preventing poor Missa to go and see his man.

Missa literally only escaped because dapper told him just ask and he will kill LOLOLOL. He went home and forever and him had a whole conversation and apology. That they are friends now. Missa saying stuff Philza is not someone to be won etc. and Philza literally ditched tubbo and Cellbit was like “Your husband needs help? Understandable” and yet again no corrections from Phil.

THEN THE MOST SOFTEST ROMANTIC LATE STREAM STUFF I HAVE EVER SEE HAPPENS. They met again and literally it’s like nothing has changed. Phil immediately showing off the baby skeletons because he knows Missa will enjoy the skeletons. Phil FINALLY giving Missa the slime armor he made for him ages ago.

I won’t lie watching it live gives off major date vibes (obviously about their cubitos in rp). Phil and Missa legit did that trope of someone good at archery teaching their love interest at the exp farm. They legit shared exp as well. The fact they keep giggling so much.

Philza seeing how bad the gear Missa has literally have him 20 upgrades including giving him a full bar of exp on his backpack. Again gift giving and acts of service is clearly Philza love lanuage. LITERALLY MISSA STARED AT THE SKULL AMD NODDED QUICKLY TO HIS CHAT. The amount of avocado toast Phil keeps throwing at Missa and putting in his backpack. Gotta know his husband is eating well I guess. Philza casually saying that the “Wall is ours” to Missa.

The fact Missa immediately wanted to have a hat like Philza on his backpack then a player head of his to match his beloved husband. Earlier he tricked the translator and said “I speak weird so the translator won’t pick it up- I love you”. Casually like that sentence didn’t break all the pissa enjoyers brain for 24 hours.

Dapper casually saying “Glad to see the love birds are on the mend” about them. Literally one of us. Iconic king. THE FACT Philza while talking about Tallulah said she was “Our Daughter” to Missa. Bad trying to cause drama meeting the brick wall of Missa adoration. Aka him screaming “Philza the best!!!!”. The fact they both tried to go offline the same but Missa felt bad and had to said bye to everyone. The fact Missa went offline right next to the house.

WE WERE FEED. PISSA NATION STAYS WINNING! And we are gonna continue to get food. As Missa promised to try to stream four times a week. So maybe maybe….second gay Qsmp wedding-

[manchesterau]

CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT PHIL PROPOSING WITH DIPS -diphowell

Saturdays are theirs.

This traditional is one of the more simple ones that they have. It started with Dan and his love of dips and while it didn’t begin on a happy note, it’s something Phil looks forward to every week. It’s not just about eating fries with a plethora of dips and debating which is the best way to go about eating them, it’s about how happy Dan is with his shit ton of dips while he rants about which is the best way of eating them.

That’s why Phil is so nervous now, as he holds the ring box in his palm.

Once they have a traditional they rarely break it or are reluctant to change anything about it. Dan had nagged him to order from their favorite chippy while he answered a few emails and Phil mulled over the thought of proposing to Dan with barbecue fingers and emoji pajamas.

They’ve proposed to each other so much over the years that this should be second nature to Phil, but as they’ve gotten older, it’s starting to get more serious. They don’t do jewelry but Phil wants to see this ring on Dan’s finger.

So he orders the fries and he waits and he hopes Dan doesn’t notice how he’s much more jumpy than normal.

The food comes and they argue over who gets it and Phil huffs about it once and groans about some fictional hot delivery guy seeing him in his emoji pajamas and it takes all of two seconds before Dan is getting up and answering the door.

“You know one of these days you’re emoji pajamas won’t save you, Phil.” Dan says, setting down the bag onto the table and plopping down on the floor across from him.

“Well, as long as I have you I won't need to be saved.” Phil quips.

Dan squints and rolls his eyes, tearing open the bag.

It’s then as Dan starts making the dip station and dishing out the food that Phil realizes he hasn’t really thought this through. He planned on just asking, again, and while he knows the answer will be yes because it’s always yes, it’s different now because of the ring. It’s more serious and permanent and Phil wants to have an autumn wedding because fuck summer weddings and doing it in the spring isn’t even an option. He wants to have their favorite flowers line the isle and he wants their niece to be a flower girl and he wants to watch Dan walk down the aisle and he so badly wants to say i do. And he doesn’t want it later when they’re ready and settled he wants it now while they're getting ready to embark on a new journey in their lives.

“Dan,” he says. “I need to ask you something.”

He can tell Dan doesn’t notice the seriousness in his voice when he snorts and pops a fry in his mouth. “If it’s not about how it’s criminal ranch isn’t a thing here I don’t want to hear it, Lester. Now pick up a fry and dip.”

If Phil wasn’t so in love with him he’d wack him over the head with one of the decorative pillows they spent a month arguing over. He reaches into his pocket out of Dan’s sight and quietly takes the ring out of the box. They’re both sat on the ground and they’ve never been one for getting down on one knee but in this moment Phil wishes he could.

He tries again, “No, I’m really serious.” he says, watching as Dan gets the hint and slowly lowers his wedge dipped in hot honey. He’s got his concerned face on, a slight frown with his eyebrows pinched.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

Phil quickly shakes his head and tries to calm his beating heart with a deep breath.

He smiles, “No, everything’s fine. Everything’s perfect really I just… I mean things have never been great our house is like ninety percent complete on a good day, we have good health, our families are good, everything is just- You know I love you right?”

Dan gives him a look but smiles, “Of course, I love you too.”

“Yes, and you know how happy I am that I get to spend the rest of my life with you? What I’m trying to say is that it’s not just a piece of paper to me anymore.”

Phil watches as Dan looks at him confused before realization dawns on his face.

“Oh my god,”

Phil reaches out a hand and- “Oh fuck,” he hisses.

Dan frowns, looking down. “What’s wrong? Phil?” he says.

“Oh no, oh fuck.”

He’s somehow managed to drop the ring in the hot honey sauce sat right in between their two plates mixed with fries and wedges. Phil reaches for the dip but Dan beats him to it, he watches as Dan peers into the little sauce cup and shrieks when he sees what's inside, dropping the whole cup on his plate. The ring bounces on the table and lands onto Phil’s plate.

“Oh my god,” Dan yells. “Phil! What the fuck? Oh my god, are you proposing with dips?”

“No! I-” he stops himself when he sees the smile on Dan’s face and the tears in his eyes. His shaking with laughter but Phil can see the joy in the crinkles by the tears.

He’s always been honest so he says. “I wanted it to be more romantic than this.”

Dan shakes his head, wiping his eyes with his palms. He's still shaking and crying as he says, "This is like...the most romantic thing you've ever done, Phil Lester."

Phil honks out a laugh, and he knows it's the one where his tongue sticks out because Dan instantly mocks him for it. He picks the rings up and tries to get as much of the sauce off as possible. It's a simple silver band that he spent months agonizing over before finally consulting his mum who told him he knew Dan better than anyone else. When he picked it up from the jeweler he had a little cry about it in the Uber on the way home. The box he spent less time thinking over is simple and black, and the inside is lined with pearly satin. At first he kept it in their room, and then he started to get paranoid with Dan looking through draws so he put it in the green room. And now here it sits, sticky with hot honey.

Dan looks at him with an easy smile and shiny eyes. He holds out his hand and says in a shaky voice. "Are you going to put it on me or do I have to do everything myself?"

Phil pretends to mull it over in his head but the grin he can't hind betrays him and he feels himself get a little weepy as he picks up the ring and slides it onto Dan's finger.

"I can't believe I just got proposed to over dips." Dan says, looking down at his hand in owe.

Phil snorts, wiping away at the tears that have fallen and pops a fry in his mouth.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Back again with more modern day platonic soulmates emduo: techno's aroace (my beloved), but phil's not and he's just a teen, he gets crushes, he's hated a few girls in his year before he met techno and he kinda wants to keep dating bc it's kinda nice right? Except the girls he approaches or who approach him find out he's got techno and they find out they're a Package DealTM, even if techno's got absolutely no interest and they're so weirded out by this, they don't wanna share their boyfriend, even if it's with his soulmate, even if phil doesn't make them feel like a third wheel, so it ends in a bunch of heartbreak and heartache and techno would probably feel so guilty bc he is the deciding factor. They don't want techni so close to phil and phil refuses to separate himself from techno. They're pretty much attached at the hip and nothing will change that. (Eventually, when they're adults, Phil meets kristin who thinks he's pretty cute and wants to get to know him and finds out about techno but.... Doesn't care??? Well she does care but it just... Doesn't... Bother her?????? Both our bois are stunned. Flabbergasted even.)

The typo on hated and dated threw me off for a solid minute there /lh

I could see this being an interesting study in world building too. In a world where some people have platonic soulmates and some people have romantic soulmates, is there this prevalent belief that dating somebody who already has a platonic soulmate is, like, selling yourself short. You're basically accepting that this person has somebody else in their life that you will always have to take into account.

(And those with a platonic soulmate know that it's not a competition. There are so many different types of love in the world and loving one person doesn't mean you love another less. You can have room in your life for a partner and a platonic soulmate. And you can love both. But it just seems like the sort of allo thinking some people would promote. Especially if platonic soulmates are more common when one or both of the people involved are aroace)

Phil is so used to girls being weirded out by him having a platonic soulmate, some even call it a red flag. They want him to somehow devalue his relationship with Techno, which Phil would never do. Techno might even feel guilty, because he's aroace but Phil isn't and Techno is starting to feel like he's what's standing in the way of Phil being able to have a romantic relationship (especially if, again, this is a world where those are valued over platonic ones, so Techno feels like he's ruining Phil's life somehow).

Then Kristin comes along, and she's not just head over heels for Phil (and Phil for her), she also genuinely doesn't mind him having a platonic soulmate. Hell, if anything she sees it as a good thing. It's like a free bestie on top of having a boyfriend. She's the first of Phil's partners who doesn't just embrace having to 'share' Phil's attention and time sometimes, she also hangs out with Techno one on one when Phil is busy. Like, literally just spends time with Techno because she likes him as a friend.

[ahappydnp]

philm club rewatch #1

phil 7/21/12

detailed timestamp notes below the cut but my overall summary thoughts are

you could tell phil was still getting into the groove of liveshows so it's a little awkward and slow going in the first 15 minutes are so with lots of shoutouts and showing the camera random things. liveshows got sooo much better after just a year or so it's fascinating to watch them getting comfortable

mind boggling to think back to a time they were willing to show up to fan meetups and then made a point to state publicly why they weren't there AND share their location so openly constantly (obviously they were about to move but STILL they showed the outside of their flat So Much back then)

the juxtaposition of how naturally comfortable they were with each other (stealing hats, sharing food, having their little jokes and songs) vs. them remembering the chat and having to recalibrate (i don't want to procreate with you)

i'm gonna be sooooo real i still spent the entire hour kicking my legs and twirling my hair and having to pause to compose myself because that's my phil like that was my guy and it brought back all those giddy feelings :3

i love them both so dearly and i love that era despite the bad rep it gets in fandom now because it was also so exciting and new but they were growing up together and taking on the world like 2012 WAS dnp vs. the world and dnp won <3333

0:28- agrees to marry a girl and a boy

1:38- final broadcast from manchester!! moving to london

2:40- stressed bc logistics for moving (he’s trying to be a grown up). interesting that he is taking the reigns on coordinating and not dan 

6:27- PIGEON NOISE MY BELOVED

8:50- phil refers to processed ingredients as “skanky stuff”. sure. 

11:59- he's gonna put lion in his backpack during the move 😭😭 he doesn’t want to lose him

15:01- dan jumpscare popping into defending phil for not showing up to a meet up 

16:21- dan gives him an A star….girl

21:30- american phil i haaaaate it i hate it i hate it

21:57- “everyone just says awkward for everything now” okay this but now everyone says “help??” in the replies of every tweet WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

22:35- cornelia playing harpsichord at phil’s parents 

24:42- phil attempts a guest broadcast with a fan and he’s being so cute despite the horrors

28:42- they’re going to see muse again 😭😭 

30ish- fanfiction segment i love his brain

33:55- dan gets caught playing gw2 and not packing asdfghjl. omg their apartment is a mess they stress me out 

34:39- the way they used to show off their exact locations was truly a time like girl internet safety!!

35:21- he still wants to call his children jack and emily (cuts quickly to mo and slyvester lester joke and i won’t think too hard about what that means with this also being the era of dan being SO deadset on having 2 or 3 children like god they were just babies with dreams)

37:14- phil thinks max the guest is australian and has The Biggest Grin phil you slag ilysm and now he’s promoting him hard lmao

39:57- drawing game. he went too fast i couldn’t keep up so i stopped. unfortunate slur from the chat. 

44:38- had to check his tumblr archive to see the kstew gif he mentioned and found a mv a fan did of the manchester flat to i will always love you phil reblogged (phannies never change)

45:27- sneak peak of the “new” apartment WHAT IF I SOBBED!!!! the first london flat…god they had no idea what’s coming and all the things that will happen in that house ;___; living with danisnotonfire who is through that wall and Not Packing (married babies)

46:24- NEW I LOVE YOU FOR THE ILY SPREASHEET FUCK YEAH!!!

46:41- he’s getting a bit annoyed at the go get dan comments and it’s such a specific shift in vibes which makes sense because this was younow and god knows what that chat was also saying 

48:57- omg it’s danisnotonfire! what are you doing here get out of my house (you’re the same person dot gif) also sooo funny they already had their sides™️

50:36- that iconic dan hair push up and swoop is simultaneously the most comforting/nostalgic and single most anxiety inducing motion of all time

52ish- they’re sooo low energy in this one but it’s still comforting 

53:35- these two…

57:52- phil putting things on dans head because of course he does and taking dans thing because of course he does

58:00- i am not immune to phil in the trapper hat. 

58:24- them seeing all the screenshots and immediately making jokes (fun little note for those who don’t know is younow would have a pop up everytime someone took a snapshot so they knew every time they were being archived which had to have been a specific kind of hell and also what a shit feature??) their skin molecules are touching 

1:01:48- quite possibly the single most controversial shirt dan has ever owned. people haaaatedddd it for years (now im just soft bc its nostalgic)

1:04:06- dan and alexander mcqueen 4ever truly lmao also phil immediately having an opinion on the one he liked dan in better 

1:04:44- "dan played it on repeat all yesterday" “whenever i get sad i listen to it” :(( dan

1:05:15- dans fashion opinions haven’t changed and also the start of them being So conscious of revealing what they spend their money on because fans “didn’t like” when they spent a lot of money on things

1:05:46- we made it an hour before they read a gay comment but he’s handling it better than usual. phil saying “ don’t go there”

1:08:05- dan is STILL yapping about the hat god i love him he simply must elucidate 

1:09:29- aweeee a fanboy <333 he’s their love child (except dan reminds phil they’re not down to procreate with each other)

1:10:24- i love that phil has always thrown a random question at people to ease the tension like it’s suuuch a phil thing to ask what your worst fear is when you’re feeling awkward 

[dsmp-lainey]

changes i’ve made to the dsmp canon in my personal rewrite:

-c!sapnap is a cis woman who likes dressing masc, her story and personality stay the same she’s literally just a woman now lol

-c!eret and c!karl are both transfem (eret is non-binary she/they and karl is a trans woman)

-sally was NOT just a salmon she was a nymph who’s animal side was a salmon, fundy inherits his fox traits from her as that’s his animal side, he cannot shape shift like she could though

-c!eret and c!george are cousins who’s family lived on these lands for long before everyone else arrived, that’s why ruling them means so much to them. c!eret originally joined the revolution because wilbur said they would assist in taking back the crown once they were independent but once dream made the offer of the throne in return for betrayal eret took the quicker option. (also c!george also has cool glowing eyes in this because it’s a family trait, also both my c!george and c!eret are black, eret has very dark skin and wears long braids mostly, george is a little lighter and keeps his hair shaved short mostly)

-c!dream only has one canon life left from the first moment we meet him, we never know how he lost the others just that part of his obsessive need for control stems from his paranoia of losing his last life

-c!wilbur lied in the letters he wrote to c!phil during the revolution and in pogtopia, he never told phil he lost any of his canon lives, phil thought when he stabbed wilbur he would have enough time to haul his body off to a safe place to calm him down before he respawned, he was shocked and horrified when he saw that was wilbur’s final life

-c!wilbur is a lot less human than he presents himself to be, his father is an angel and his mother is a goddess, he has lived far longer than the age he appears already at the start of the smp and could likely far outlive most other characters in terms of natural lifespans. his refusal to wear armor is partially influenced by the fact that he heals far quicker than others, therefore his insistence on others not wearing armor is a rather selfish demand since he knows others are risking more than he is when going without.

-c!techno grew up under a horrible dictatorship, that’s the largest contributor to his anarchist beliefs. he wears his crown as a symbol of the fact that he will never let someone else rule him ever again.

-c!tommy is religious like in canon but he primarily chooses to worship Lady death (mumza/c!kristin), she has shown him her favor many times in various ways over the years and was who guided him to wilbur in the first place. tommy has a elevated level of both respect and fear for c!phil throughout the smp no matter what because he is deaths angel.

okayyyy those are just a couple of them but i hope y’all like, PLEASE let me know your thoughts and what other hc and story changes you personally have cause i love hearing them!

[simplydnp]

whenever i watch phil’s daring advice videos i realize he is really against overtly jealous boyfriends, do you think dan is better with jealousy these past few years? do you think he used to be bad with it?

dan has, in the past, referred to himself as jealous. in my opinion, he's also very bad at hiding it.

i'd have to go back to specific segments, but the advice phil generally gives is more about excessive/controlling jealousy. the type where red flags are popping up continually. for the people receiving advice, it might just be a conversation they have to have, or they might have to call it.

i think it's up to dnp with how they deal with it. clearly, it isn't the same as situations presented by viewers, otherwise his advice would be different. i think there's a few points of interest around this all.

if we're looking back to the beginning: dan is 18. he's young, his brain isn't fully developed, he had a difficult childhood. stability is not something he knew. so to meet phil, with all his awkward emo rizz and close relationship with his family--it's natural to want to hold onto it. i can completely understand any jealousy from that point in time, because it comes from fear. it's rooted in insecurity and instability. all he wants is this one thing, why does everyone else have to want it too? but he knows exactly why people want phil--it's why he does! he does seem aware of it, as the quote i mentioned earlier does come from the early years. but it doesn't mean he could stop it from coming out. and i don't really think he wanted to, at that point. (this did change)

there's a secondary participant in this though too. someone who saw all his flaws and loved him anyway, loved him despite them, and loved him because of them. if there's one thing you know about phil lester, it's that he loves dan. and has for a very, very long time. from what we've seen, in the early days, phil liked a jealous dan. there clearly wasn't a discussion about stopping it. it's nice to be wanted. to be seen. instead of just tolerated by your peers. one of the things he'd do would be invite dan in when he felt jealous, or when he could feel jealous later. dan should be a youtuber too. then they can do this together. and it's not to say any or all of their career decisions were based on jealousy. but i do think it played a role. because they know each other too well to simply ignore it. (but i also think it'd unconscious for phil, sometimes).

but as the years go, they had to 'clean up' their image for radio. they put themselves into boxes and those boxes weren't supposed to have jealousy in them because it's too real. but of course it came anyway. and phil is not as innocent in this as you may think.

the second thing you know about phil lester is that he loves to rile dan up. he loves when dan gets snarky and wordy and dramatic. he loves the outbursts and the swearing and the enthusiasm in it all. he loves that dan feels things and acts on them. so he... pokes the bear sometimes. cause it's fun.

in the next years, there was both more and less jealously. less because of their Straight branding, and therefore pushing anything like that down. more because of 'phil trash #1' becoming part of their brand. and it's never really gone away--cause it's true. dan could suddenly be jealous or fond on main again and it could be played off. so it happened more. but also, they were successful now. secure, in so many ways.

if you see jealousy now it's very evident that dan's trying to hide it. it's just as bad as it used to be, if not worse. cause he's allowed to be jealous now, and is out of practice of hiding it. and i honestly don't think they care that much anymore. he fights it back cause he doesn't want to say it at times, but it's different now. and phil can still tell anyway, cause he loves pushing dan's buttons.

in terms of phil giving advice, i'd say it's more about finding someone who is compatible with you, and loves you for you: the things you do, the words you say, the person you are. dan and phil live in an existence of constantly affirming each other, and they probably don't think about it since it comes so naturally to them. they are on the same page. there's trust and love there. phil knows why dan gets jealous. but he isn't going anywhere. and he knows dan knows that too. so it's kind of fun to play into it all.

[helpimsleepdeprived]

to the phamily <3

This year has been the most wonderful, whimsical and phantastic years in a long while. Being back and active in the phandom has done wonders for my mental health and general perspective on life.

If you would of told 14 year old me, who had just subscribed to DanAndPhilGames that in 10 years she would be seeing them live, I would have thought you were delusional. Not only because they were still here, but so was I. And even though 14 year old me would not dare to imagine that another love of her life would go on hiatus, it is a miracle that I survived the hiatus and came back so strongly. This can only be attributed to our boys, who despite major life changes, a new house, up and downs and health challenges, managed to rise above it all and found their way to become themselves which in turn helped us all to do the same.

The Terrible Influence tour was one of, if not the peak of my year. Not only because I got to see Dan and Phil live in the god forsaken year of 2024 but I got to be around my people. My tour date was Sydney night one and I can honestly say that I had never felt more joyous and safe, as I could truly be myself and connect with strangers over our love and respect for Dan and Phil. To the few I met at the show, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart because you made me feel so seen and like I belonged - and in fact, prior to the show, I had only really come out to two people in my life and it wasn't a particularly great experience for me, so to be able to relate to a stranger over our collective queer experience was so so healing and I will be forever thankful for those interactions.

Though I say it constantly, I owe Dan and Phil so so so much. Over the last 15 years they have created an online space that helped us to keep holding on, telling us that yes, the void does exist but embrace it, try new things, have the courage to make it thought this night and every single one after that. I am so so incredibly proud of the people they are, who they have become and what they have done with that.

Even though I am nothing but a little pfp and a username to most of you, I really felt I have made a connection to our Tumblr community. With every note I got, interaction I had or even just seeing the same people on my dash everyday, those moments were so so sweet. It's absolutely amazing that we have all grown up together and now we can contribute to this community as phans who can respect each other, the boys and the space here on Tumblr.

And I can say confidently that I feel safe here, that I belong. This blog is my break from the real world life where im almost 25 and am trying to forge a career for myself in the space of trying to figure out my space in this world. So thank you!!! This wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for the communities we have made within the phandom and for the space and safety Dan and Phil have given us to heal our inner child <3

I can't wait to see what 2025 brings for us (hopefully wdapteo soon)