#i am so tired im sorry if this doesnt make any sense

[simplydnp]

whenever i watch phil’s daring advice videos i realize he is really against overtly jealous boyfriends, do you think dan is better with jealousy these past few years? do you think he used to be bad with it?

dan has, in the past, referred to himself as jealous. in my opinion, he's also very bad at hiding it.

i'd have to go back to specific segments, but the advice phil generally gives is more about excessive/controlling jealousy. the type where red flags are popping up continually. for the people receiving advice, it might just be a conversation they have to have, or they might have to call it.

i think it's up to dnp with how they deal with it. clearly, it isn't the same as situations presented by viewers, otherwise his advice would be different. i think there's a few points of interest around this all.

if we're looking back to the beginning: dan is 18. he's young, his brain isn't fully developed, he had a difficult childhood. stability is not something he knew. so to meet phil, with all his awkward emo rizz and close relationship with his family--it's natural to want to hold onto it. i can completely understand any jealousy from that point in time, because it comes from fear. it's rooted in insecurity and instability. all he wants is this one thing, why does everyone else have to want it too? but he knows exactly why people want phil--it's why he does! he does seem aware of it, as the quote i mentioned earlier does come from the early years. but it doesn't mean he could stop it from coming out. and i don't really think he wanted to, at that point. (this did change)

there's a secondary participant in this though too. someone who saw all his flaws and loved him anyway, loved him despite them, and loved him because of them. if there's one thing you know about phil lester, it's that he loves dan. and has for a very, very long time. from what we've seen, in the early days, phil liked a jealous dan. there clearly wasn't a discussion about stopping it. it's nice to be wanted. to be seen. instead of just tolerated by your peers. one of the things he'd do would be invite dan in when he felt jealous, or when he could feel jealous later. dan should be a youtuber too. then they can do this together. and it's not to say any or all of their career decisions were based on jealousy. but i do think it played a role. because they know each other too well to simply ignore it. (but i also think it'd unconscious for phil, sometimes).

but as the years go, they had to 'clean up' their image for radio. they put themselves into boxes and those boxes weren't supposed to have jealousy in them because it's too real. but of course it came anyway. and phil is not as innocent in this as you may think.

the second thing you know about phil lester is that he loves to rile dan up. he loves when dan gets snarky and wordy and dramatic. he loves the outbursts and the swearing and the enthusiasm in it all. he loves that dan feels things and acts on them. so he... pokes the bear sometimes. cause it's fun.

in the next years, there was both more and less jealously. less because of their Straight branding, and therefore pushing anything like that down. more because of 'phil trash #1' becoming part of their brand. and it's never really gone away--cause it's true. dan could suddenly be jealous or fond on main again and it could be played off. so it happened more. but also, they were successful now. secure, in so many ways.

if you see jealousy now it's very evident that dan's trying to hide it. it's just as bad as it used to be, if not worse. cause he's allowed to be jealous now, and is out of practice of hiding it. and i honestly don't think they care that much anymore. he fights it back cause he doesn't want to say it at times, but it's different now. and phil can still tell anyway, cause he loves pushing dan's buttons.

in terms of phil giving advice, i'd say it's more about finding someone who is compatible with you, and loves you for you: the things you do, the words you say, the person you are. dan and phil live in an existence of constantly affirming each other, and they probably don't think about it since it comes so naturally to them. they are on the same page. there's trust and love there. phil knows why dan gets jealous. but he isn't going anywhere. and he knows dan knows that too. so it's kind of fun to play into it all.

[nolongerexistingsadcatface]

Ok yes America hating the cold is funny (eh) BUT. have you considered that I like the imagery of an America sitting alone in the forest in the bleak mid-winter landscape of an east coast woods, all alone in both body and mind, agonizing over her seeming doom to be stuck in the throes of loneliness for all eternity?

[vaguehotels]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

[lannisterdaddyissues]

today is not a good day

[bookshelfdreams]

Hi, saw your tags on a stede post: do you have advice on how to take good care of the need to be helpful-people around you? there's someone i like and enjoy spending time with but they seem uncomfortable when there's nothing useful for them to do and they're surprised and a bit insecure when i show gratitude and try to reciprocate their kindness. i'm more of a low maintenance wallflowery person myself so asking for or getting help isn't always easy to handle gracefully.

Thank you!

i have no idea but if you figure it out let me know thanks

Hi! This is something you should talk about with this person (yes, I know. It's hard). I don't know what need they fulfill by being helpful or how exactly you feel your attempts at reciprocating aren't appreciated. I don't know enough about the situation or either of you to give any advice that might be helpful.

But! I can give you a bit of my perspective on these feelings and how I deal with them. Because my self-worth is basically wielded to being useful to other people and that's not a good way to live, for many reasons.

First of all, when I get really down into a self-loathing spiral (because that's really all it is, feeling like I have to make up for my existence), I imagine someone other than myself saying those things to me. Ideally someone I dislike. Then I get offended. And then I look at my own brain like

What helps me with accepting help and nice things, is thinking about how giving those things to people makes me feel. Which is very good. And thinking about how it would make me feel if someone I cared about would always refuse favours, get uncomfortable at being given gifts, brush off my compliments. That would feel bad, wouldn't it? Like maybe they don't like me back at all.

I try to look at myself from outside; like, what if I were someone I know? I am not special; I'm just like everyone else. If helping others, giving gifts, etc makes me feel good, the same is true for others. If I'm honest when I compliment someone, others are honest when they compliment me. If it makes me feel all giddy inside when I make someone smile, the same is true for people who make me smile. And so on.

We're all just guys (gn), you know? No one has something uniquely horrible at their core. Everyone is just a person who deserves help and kindness and nice things. I know it can be hard to accept that. And I can't really give you any tips for helping that person you care about accept that. But eventually, we all have to ask for help and then we'll get help and we'll see that people are there for us, and we deserved it all along.

[jerrsterrr]

Ramble about their latest drawing:

Took me all day!!! I struggled so hard i had no idea what i wanted to draw and i needed a cool one for this code im filing on the JERRSTERRRVERSEA toyhouse folder, so we got this!!!! It kinda, Definetely, totally represents different sort of eras and how these three are to eachother while being the same guy.

Winged guy has their eyes closed and imagines the other next to it with eyes closed aswell, the star inbetween makes up the dragon, or you know, their soul, the red background was basically where the story starts, where he is in control, the soul just a star, him the mind and the body (the other guy) unaware to the constant torture Xiety is using to cope. WHILE in the other one, is when Jerii, the body finally escapes, outgrowing the mind by leaving to the clouded area, with many doors to other sort of souls and realities are. He has matthew!! The dragon, but they obviously arent exactly put together again. The only thing tethering Jerri to not full losing its sort of original bodily form is being close to matthew, (represented by its eye with the star), yet he imagines the mind next to him with open eyes, always watching and knowing. But he couldnt be more wrong!! He looks away, doing anything but forgiving herself. And matthew just watches on.

💥

Okay bye haha

My silly little guys

[cynthiesjmxazrielslover]

Bittersweet love

An original AUmodernAzriel x Reader

these songs remind me of them <3333

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mention of trauma Summary: Growing up with your abusive father and your mother who never spoke up against him, you had truly given up hope of any chance of a real relationship, of real love, the ones of the kind that you read about in your books, till you're proven wrong.

A/N: this is my first fic ever+english isnt my first language, and I wrote this in a daze, the idea came to me at like 3 AM,so....enjoy muah<3 Thump.....thump. DAMN IT CAROLINE GET OUT HERE! Another night another fight, that too on their anniversary, a classic. I scoff thinking about all the picture-perfect smiles and the absolutely lovely speech my dad had read out for my mom tonight, a show, it was all a show, no one knew what went inside our house every week, how my dad hit my mom, screamed at her and then bought ridiculously expensive gifts for her as if that would fix everything. I was so so tired of their useless fights, every time it all ended the same way, with my mom never leaving. I heard the rain outside before I saw it. One thing about me was that I always loved the rain, growing up, and till now it just felt right to cry under its cover, to cry with it, to admire how beautiful it felt to be enveloped in her comfort and just...let everything go. I sneaked out my window and walked out of our backyard. There was an abandoned house right behind mine, I spread rumors just so everyone thought, it was either haunted or inhabited, in truth it was my den. Snacks, clothes, comfy blankets, duvets, you name it. It had all I needed to feel better. When I entered my lair I noticed that most of my snacks were empty and the empty packets pristine clean. Oh no, someone had discovered the truth, I turned around only to find a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me, the darkness enveloped him, I couldn't see him, but guessed well enough he was taller than me. I cursed at myself for being stupid enough to enter an abandoned place at night in the middle of a heavy down pour. No, no, no, no. I stepped back I couldn't die like this, not in this shit hole. "Um, hello there. Are you okay? you just seem a little pale" I gaped at him. He had the most alluring voice id ever heard on a man and damn did it mess with my senses. "I won't hurt you, I promise. Look I'm not armed plus I dont even have enough energy to argue right now." He stepped a bit closer enough that I could make out his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. His hazel eyes were a sweet honey brown shade, tanned skin, muscles, tall as frick, and hot too. Holy crap this guy looked straight out of a book. "Hello?". Realizing I'd been gaping at it the whole time it took me second to remember the situation I'd found myself in before I said "Hi, Im Lana" I lied, my name wasnt lana but i wasnt gonna tell some random guy who ate my snacks AND all my blueberry sour candy my name, Im not that dumb. He steps out of the shadows so i could get a proper look at him, and so he could look at me i realize. "Hello Lana, Im Azriel". I looked at him, really looked at him noticed 3 things, 1. He didnt look much older than me, meaning either he was in school or in college, 2. He was wearing my oversized hoodie which looked a little too small on him, and 3. He looked in a bad shape. He had bruises on his face marring his body, burned hands, swollen eye and looked cold, very cold and malnourished. He looked almost......homeless.

I snuck a glance outside.

I silently swore, if this man- Azriel, stayed here any longer he would DIE, either of fever or due to infection. I might already have brought a one way ticket to the deepest darkest pits of hell but doesnt mean he did. Without a thought i spit out "Come to my house". "Im sorry what?" he chuckled out smirking at me as a flush crept over me. "I-I meant that you cant stay here, there's heavy rain and its cold here. pfft that's totally what i meant" i stammer out. Reminder to curl up and die in a corner later on. He furrows his brow at my statement, a hint of amusement on his face. "Haven't you heard of stranger danger Lana?" He pipes out, his voice low and gravelly. "I doubt an 18 year old guy who wears Minnie Mouse hoodies with dora the explorer socks and a pink bow pajamas would try to kidnap me" Okay now this dude was really crossing it for me. Reminder number 2- Drown these clothes in holy water before wearing them again. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. "I still look better in these than you could ever. But you're smart and these clothes fit me like a fucking tank top and shorts, so yes, Lana, I'll come to your house. Only because Im freezing out here" He added FRICK. FRICK THIS WAS A BAD,BAD IDEA

Azriels POV I stepped out of the shower, steam rising from the hot water. I smelled like lavender soap and vanilla- The scent of real men. I put on the fresh pair of clothes Lana gave me, A little smaller than what i wore but better than those hoodies of hers anyway. I saw her reading a book when i stepped out, no gods not another book-obsessed psycho. She motioned for me to sit down and applied some bandages, honey, and anti-septic cream and gave me some medecine, pain killers i guessed. She seemed to know what she was doing, better than going to a doctor if it meant it was free and she wasn't going- "Who gave you get these" My chain of thoughts are interrupted by her words. "I got myself banged up by a....raccoon?" A raccoon? A RACCOON? Thats the best I could come up with? Telling a girl that i got banged up by a raccoon? She laughs at my answer. It's not a soft melodic sound like i expected but a burst of laughter. She snorts and smirks at me. "Damn, a raccoon huh? Wait,does that mean your're pregnant now?Plus,what? did it tackle you to the ground with its little toe beans? What were you even fighting over, who gets the last thrown out doughnuts from the dumpster, oh, or, did she kick you out of the house instead? You're lovely raccoon wife." She laughs out, barely able to form the sentence without controlling her laughter. I roll my eyes but I cant help smile, I knew very little about this girl but i did know 4 things, 1. She was a terrible liar, introducing herself under a fake name when her name was written under every single one of her drawings, 'y/n' I liked that name, it sounded different yet familiar on my tongue. 2.She might have just saved my life 3. She had a very good taste in candy and 4. we are about to become very, very, very good friends, something I hadn't had in a while. Tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged in the next parts, plus im open to supportive constructive criticism so let me know how i can improve =) taglist: @anarchiii @starlightazriel @velarisdusk @siriuslystyle1989 @scorpioriesling

[strawberrykisseslia]

loml

pairing: vanessa shelly x fem!reader

tw. angst / no comfort, you're married to vanessa, not really happy marriage

wc. 859

an. uh yeah, i love angst n im kinda griefing, maybe doesnt make sense at all, bare with me there and CHAT OH MY GOD THE SURPRISE SONGS HAS BEEN WILDDDD HOW R WE DOING?? now good bye for another few months (joking... or am i)

song(s) rec. loml , fresh out the slammer - ts

pleasant reading. (or not)

everything seemed perfect.

your marriage with vanessa was good. you loved her and she loved you. but you felt lonely most of the times. vanessa was never home. she kept on burying herself in work and pushing herself to the edge. you always told her that she can talk to you, you are there for her. but she never took the chance to be more open. you knew about her past, how hard was it for her but didn't you prove enough for her to trust you more?

this topic always came up while you were having dinner or while you were just having a moment of peace.

tonight wasn't different. you had to tell her how lonely you felt. how loveless this marriage felt from the inside while looking perfect on the outside.

you just couldn't keep on waiting for her. maybe, your love wasn't enough for her? she never told you what she exactly wanted.

you took a deep sigh as you put your fork down. "i can't keep on living like this." you looked down at your plate. you had to stay strong. strong for your wife and for yourself. you needed to figure something out. quick.

vanessa looked up from her food. she felt guilty. she knew, she wasn't there for you a lot of times. but she still had to process everything that had happened to her. she met you after her coma and she still wasn't over it. and she just couldn't open up.

"you're never home and i just-" you shook your head and dared to meet her gaze. "i don't know what to do." you murmured out. it was hard. for both of you.

vanessa nodded with each of your words. "i know." her voice was weak and quiet.

the silence that came felt so loud.

when both of you met everything was different. sure, vanessa was closed up but it was still better. you spent nights just talking about everything. little after your wedding day, she started to stop sharing things with you. like her day, how she is. she brushed it off. even when you invited her to your shared bed, she turned you down multiplie times. you respected it, of course. but you just didn't understand why she wouldn't talk to you like how she used to. what happened?

even vanessa didn't knew what was wrong at all. she just still needed time.

"vanessa, you know, you can talk to me, right?" you asked. you were a little bit scared from it but you did it.

she nodded as she set her eyes on the now cold food in front of her. "i know." she responded, her voice just above a whisper.

"vanessa, i'm tired. i'm tired of waiting for you because i feel like you're never here." you sighed and ran a hand through your hair. "i feel... lonely." it felt scary saying it out loud. but you had to. because if not then no changes will be made. for the sake of your marriage. for the better or for the worse.

with every second pessing by it felt harder for you to hold back tears. and for vanessa as well.

vanessa couldn't and didn't even dare to look into your eyes. the guilt was eating her up.

this conversation felt more deeper than the other ones. because you finally said what you were feeling.

"you can't keep on burying yourself in work, vanessa. you have to be with me too. mentally too." you explained with a soft tone. "i want to make this work." you whispered. you weren't sure what was going through your wife's head.

vanessa wanted this too. she just couldn't forget. she will never. but she doesn't want to hurt you any more.

"i'm sorry." her voice broke. she covered her face in her palms.

your lips parted and you just stared at her. you didn't know what exactly to do. comfort her? give her space?

"i never wanted to hurt you." she spoke up and lowered her hands and looked right into your eyes. now that she was fully facing you, you noticed how tired she was. the bags under her eyes. her rather messy hair. she looked like a mess.

before you could have said anything, vanessa stood up from her seat. she rushed to the front door to put her shoes on and gathered her keys then stormed out of your shared home.

it happened so quickly. you just sat at the table above your cold food. you leaned back into the chair and let out a heavy sigh. a few fast blinks and tears formed in your eyes. you couldn't hold back any longer. you never wanted her to leave like this. with so much hurt.

you wished this was just a bad dream and you would wake up in any second. but no. this wasn't a dream, this was reality.

you just hoped vanessa would be back soon. that she wouldn't do anything stupid. you wouldn't be able to handle that. you can't lose her. you loved her so much. you truly thought what you had was special.

[blommp717]

okay so what really confuses me is that ya'll say that nothing is real but " " (yourself) and other people dont exist.... but like, if others dont exist.. why r u explaining this philosophy to non-existent people.....? AND like u guys are telling everyone "that no one exists" but like that doesnt make sense... like idk how to explain it, but does everyone have awareness? if everyone has that " " doesnt that mean that they DO exist, which in a way makes the "illusion".. real?and ur telling everyone that they are the "gods"of their reality but thats contradictory... because there can only be one "god" or else everyone would clash... right? like... who exists... who doesnt? Do I exist? Because telling someone that noone exists implies that *I* am non existant... but then you're also telling "me " that no one exists which is... contradictory sorry if this ask is confusing im about to go to bed lol just rlly confused.

(also will be sending this ask to other bloggers bc i want to see all the diffrent answers)

I’m really not quite sure if you read the stuff on my page first before saying all of this or if this was just a copy paste to a bunch of bloggers so u made it general type of situation.

Just to preface this long message

(I reassalllyyyy tried not to miss write anything, please taken in mind it’s late for me but this is really most of the time I even have to respond and I’m incredibly tired so bypass my little typos)

I’ve never promoted the false idea that there is only you (the self). That goes against my point and if that were case I wouldn’t ever verbalize any of these realizations because well, what would be the purpose, like you said.

This idea that there is only me, is amazing for the ego/self because there’s an illusion of someone having or gaining power and control, well let’s get rid of that because it’s not real. (Sorry to break it)

So I’m not sure what you’ve been reading (most likely manifesting bloggers) but let me point you in the right direction (so to speak).

Nothing is INHERENTLY “real”. All identification as self, me, my, I’m, and I, are all illusions, they’re completely baseless and only exist as ideas and thoughts. What I’ve explained a number of times is, the self is just a realization of itself so to speak. The more you try to argue that “no but I am myself see?” You realize those are just sentences in the same way, “I think I want water” is just a sentence. And the only thing that can ever “validate” the existence of self is more thoughts. See? Go ahead, try to prove the self is real without using thoughts. And while the silence becomes more apparent, it might click for u.

Infiniteness, wholeness, god, appearing as this sense of self. The ideas and thoughts essentially “interact” with each other to validate that there is someone here even further. Then this sense of me and myself is linked (by more thoughts) to the body. You start saying myself when referring to the body instead of saying “the body”. It all blurs into one line of “I’m the body” and suddenly the world starts happening to you. Funny.

But it’s pretty funny how you can never pinpoint where the sense of self rests in this body can you? It’s not some kind of being sitting in the head, it’s nowhere. It’s just an idea, a thought pretending to be some form of separateness.

This applies to “everyone”. And actually this is how I know you probably haven’t read like 90% of what I’ve said on my page because I explain heavily what I mean so no one stays confused 😭😭😭

Regardless. I think you recognize what I’m trying to say here. God/Awareness/No-thing or even “ “, appears as the sense of self. Inherently self is not something that’s tangible or solid. It’s baseless and malleable. In most of my writings I say sense of self for this exact reason. It’s just a sense of there being a self not an actuality. There is only one god, all appearing as seperate. This part is actually incredibly easy to understand so I’m gonna explain it quickly.

Based of what I’ve just told you, we recognize that it’s just a sense of self, thoughts scrabble that pretends identity with even more thoughts. Inherently nothing.

I feel like I need a speaker for this one

JUST BECAUSE ITS ILLUSORY AND YOU KNOW IT, DOESNT MEAN ITS GOING TO DISAPPEAR.

This is like making a plate out of clay and saying it’s only and solely clay, inherently it’s only clay, but APPEARS aka is the illusion of a plate. The plate doesn’t morph back into a ball of clay just because you’ve recognized it without the label of plate.

I never told people that the sense of self is god, I say them as “ “ and I’m very careful to do this because well, people like you 😭😭.

Everything is completly illusory, and label or word or defining factor is false. It’s hollow and holds no actual substance. This also just means, all that is realize as “ “ is exactly what appears to be happening, because there is only god. This is what people confuse as manifesting.

I don’t say any of this with hate, I know it can come across that way when you can hear a persons voice and have to read it solely but yeah, I really hope this cleared some stuff up for you and others 🫶🌴☀️🥥

[scrollonso]

OKAY to fuel the marcmarc delulu... If Bez's love language is touch and he touched the tire mark on Marc arm, in the cool down room pre-podium - doesn't that mean he used his love language towards Marc???

You know what I mean, right? Has this already been discussed? (If so, sorry, haven't seen it)

THIS IS SO TRUE 😿😿

my love language is touch too, always hugging or holding hands or messing with my friends bc ik im bad with words so marco touching marc so tenderly is so confusing

im sure he didnt think too deep into it while doing it but seeing the incident on screen and his first instinct being to brush his tumb against it?? i wouldn't do that to someone i dont care for.

ofc he doesnt want anyone hurt, whether vale hates them or not, but it was such a personal thing imo??

and the way he stepped away after marc pulled his arm back was as if he was conflicted, a sort of why did i do that did it make him uncomfortable omgomgomg thing

and we know marco looks up to marc in some way, calling him a maestro and taking that iconic (im insane) picture with him in 2015 just shows that he has both vale and marc on a little podium in his mind

ofc vale takes gold but marc is a close second and dispite his little outburst after valencia 2023 and the fact he doesnt agree with everything marc does a part of him will always be looking up to him and wanting to reach his level

does any of this make sense? no.

am i rambling? yes i dont wanna be at school

[bedforddanes75]

more questions for u🫡 6, 59, 124, 140, 144, 148

HIIIIII THANK U FOR THE (second 😈) ASK ok ok so

6 (what kind of people am i attracted 2) - ohohohohohoho. OHOHOHOHO. ok. i really like george daniel. obviously. but the Reason i like him is i think just because he looks feminine. like obviously he Doesnt but somehow he does ?? he radiates it ??? and idk how ?????? like he has such brown eyes and his face is a little round and hes so blushy and hes just gorgeous. i dont Really like defined jawlines idk thats something ive noticed in the men i like. i prefer when theyre Round 🙂‍↕ and i like longer hair on men:( for women i am such a sucker for a butch . any kind of butch Hand Them Over... immediately... i like femininity when its over masculinity and i like masculinity when its over femininity. omg. IVE GOT IT ok new slogan ok sorry im waffling im a bit tired

59 (first thing i ate 2day) - noodles 🙂‍↕ nongshim cup spicy ones idk what theyre actually called but FUCK they were good ohhhhhhh i need more immediately IM HUNGRY ive eaten so much today i have the stomach of a teen boy its Bad. i need Food immediately. oh good god

124 (do i believe in love at first sight) - eeeeeeeehhhhhh. i think so? i subscribe more to that japanese thing about love at second sight where you already know someone and then you see them one day and its like "Oh. yeah. yeah i get it." i think i got that explanation right. idk. if i didnt then i still agree with that. but in short id say no not really !!!!!!!!!

140 (summer or winter) - mmm i always used 2 say winter for this but i live in the uk winter is just Grey and Sucky. its not nice and just gives you seasonal depression. so SUMMER ON TOP oh i love u warmth i love u blue skies i love u AIR omg omg omg

144 (dark/milk/white chocolate) - BLEGH milk chocolate all the way. dark chocolate is fine i just. wouldnt choose it. and white chocolate should be destroyed and banned it is FUCKING VILE i hate it so much im gonna PUKE

148 (whats my fav quote) - ok this is making me laugh because all i can think of is like. 'and god said let there be light.' DUDE. like omg i 1) am not religious. 2) have not read the bible. nor have i even read that chapter. 3) ?? absolutely do not think that is my favourite quote even if i did know any others ???? 😭😭😭😭😭 pms Anyway. i love "Lev, you're my people," from tlou part 2. i just think its so sweet and i love lev. and i like "Although I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense that our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply...am not...there," from American Psycho. i promise i like it in an undstanding way, not an incel way, i just like saying it. and obviously "modernity has failed us". top ten quotes oat really

[sheyfu]

If you were in the world of blue lock and you could kill one character and save a character from dying, who would those 2 characters be ?

HMMMMMMMM this is kinda hard JWJEJSJSI i'll answer this in a metaphorical and a quite literal sense (bruh i sound so 🤓☝️ rn 😭😭😭😭) OKAY SO FIIIRSSSTTTT

metaphorical:

kill: baro shoei

- in a metaphorical sense, i would kill baro (like destroy his mentality of being a king [his superiority complex]). i mean don't get me wrong his character development was probably THE BEST like im not kidding his development DESTROYYYEEDDDD me but like also resurrected (?) smth inside me. his realization that isagi was the king of the field in that match and how he slowly broke down was so dear to me (we like 🤞🤞 fr we're gang). but also the way he made his "defeat" into motivation and buried it into his ego was 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but srs i would kill him just to see him like that again LMAOOOOO

save: michael kaiser

- now in my eyes, michael is someone who's currently dying like he has this terminal and uncurable illness that not even soccer can heal. but like saving someone is a process; it's not done quickly. in a span of (n) years, i would want to show him the world (more than what he's already seen HWHWHSHSI). i'd take this man on drives by the coasts to aee the sun, give him flowers and spoil him and let him do wtv to me. i'd show him all the books and genres im into and all that and love him like he's my last. tbh i dont think this makes any sense (i am so tired 😭😭😭) but yeah 😓😓

literal:

kill: gurimu igarashi

- literally no explanation idc if he's a monk i want to kill him so bad. I HAAAAATE HIM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART (im so sorry to the igarashi girlies)

save: chigiri hyoma

- listen. this man. has my heart. if we were in an apocalypse or smth, i'd save him even if it meant me getting bit by a zombie. if i do save him unscathed tho, i'd protect him with my whole heart. im in a silly sad mood so like: if i were to spend my last moments with someone from blue lock when the world is in chaos, it would be chigiri. i know my response doesnt really answer the question, but it's kinda related to it HISHDSIJD (IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭) BUT ANYWAYS YEA. to me, chigiri is translucent. he's something you can see through, yet below, deep under his skin, he hides something---he's someone i want to change. if i were to be with someone translucent, i'd work my ass of just to make him transparent (gets? HWUASUDAD IM LIKE IDK losing my mind rn 😓😓😓). i consider myself to be quite lazy and definitely an egoist (im so sorry gang). he's someone who can fix the emo shit (oops) inside me, tell me whatever he wants to tell me, yet someone who loves like you're his last love. he gafs about your shit but he does this to keep you safe (he's also gets very sassy the longer you are tgt imo)

IM SORRY THIS IS LIKE VERY . MESSY .. 😭😭 I DONT THINK I WAS ABLE TO EXPLAIN PROPERLY BUT STILL I HOPE IT'S AT LEAST A LITTLE UNDERSTANDABLE 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK >:)) i had fun answering this ueueue <3

[3cosmicfrogs]

For the ask game have u considered a wuxia SWBtS AU because i have considered it. I don't know enough about wuxia though so I Am Outsourcing.

jhgfadkjgak i am most definitely not the wuxia expert, all i know is Condor Heroes. but i will do my best! (this is short because im tired and its late)

The only confines of the genre, to my knowledge, are that it's historically set between the 7th and 19th century, and that super-human feats are accomplished through martial arts. so in that sense, not much would need to be changed from the original except that the fighting needs to be more flashy and improbable. sorry. infact the story would actually have even fewer supernatural elements than in canon...

ouyang and xu da would have the absolute most insane martial art skills. the way that ouyang's sword doesn't have a name becomes a whole Thing, because this is the genre where swords have Important Names!

let us assume that this is not just any generic wuxia, but a wuxia soap opera: Baoxiang is thriving. Absolutely slaying serving cunt the house down yass your honour. he was born for starring in a swishy robes drama. while everyone's wardrobe veers away from historical accuracy and incorporates hanfu elements as is typical of the genre, his outfits are always next level. you think his Salad Robe was obnoxious? honey you got a big storm comin.

canon is pretty much wuxia, sorry. but if you want to make this into a xianxia show (more supernatural elements, à la the untamed, word of honour, journey of flower, with a focus on good versus evil typically)... my vision for this is unclear, however this is the vanquishing-ghosts-and-zombies-and-other-good-deeds genre so zhu seeing ghosts is... less unusual than it is in canon.

being a monk should by all means and conventions of the genre grant her some super sweet special skills, however it would be much more interesting especially in a xianxia adaptation if it doesnt. i dont really know what to do with this knowledge, but i'll leave it here anyway.

this was a really hard ask! i'm sorry to dissappoint, i only recently started exploring wuxia/xianxia as genres (grew bored after reading western high fantasy for almost 2 decades lol), and also i really have no idea how to translate tre into either genre. i mean you could certainly make it look like a typical xianxia soap opera by upping the romantic conflicts, yassifying the outfits, and making everyone conventionally attractive by modern standards...?

anyway thanks for the ask anon! i think im done with headcanon askbox games now...

[sad-rad-stoned]

Im just so sick of people being all “I’m doing something nice for u” but turn around and making the entire situation SO unnecessarily stressful and trying to fucking say its MY fault that they put in zero fucking effort while I’m expending ALL of my energy and giving them ALL MY FUCKING TIME AND MONEY

Dude fuckin.. makes a deal w/ me for helping out with gas money… but then takes like three fucking hours to apparently do his hair???? Are u kidding me???

No birthday desert for my partner now cause u fucked around without saying SHIT to us so we waaaaiiiitted around to hear back oh my GOD bitch

[acaciapines]

If you’re still doing songs - song 69 and 138?

im always up to do em lets GO! i'll put both above the cut n then talk below :)

69. It’s Called: Freefall – Rainbow Kitten Surprise

king misses his mom. he misses his sister. he misses his aunt and his grandparents and mari trying to pin him down and luz letting him crawl under her covers and eda hugging him when he grabbed for her and firefly chirping good morning and good night and throwing out her wings to keep him safe.

“kiiiiiiiiing,” the collector whines, flipping upside-down through the air. “you’re so boring, what is your problem?”

“just tired,” king says. it’s hard to look at the collector straight-on. the thoughts that surround him are a messy array, and barely any of them are his, the way they are for anybody else: it’s a weird conglomerate of old thoughts like those that drift through the sky, but so packed together he can’t make anything out. it’s a beach of golden sand the collector runs through, leaving kicked-up grit in his awake.

“naw, c’mon,” they needle, landing right in front of him. “you’ve been tired forever. be fun!”

he misses his family so bad he’s sure it’s a wound spilling out of him. how can’t the collector see that?

“okay,” king says, “fine. let’s play.”

138. Habits – Genevieve Stokes

ask anybody: edalyn-owlbert clawthorne was never planning to have kids.

never really interested her. not the settling-down part, not the needing to keep another living creature alive part, not the having to be a good influence, gag. nah. kids were never going to be her thing, and so she never sought them out.

and then the little buggers found her.

well. she’s technically the one who stumbled across king, the owl beast’s faltering flight into that abandoned ruin he was living in, but king was the one who followed them both and refused to be left behind. plus, that stone-monster was going to kill him. eda wasn’t a fan of kids, but she didn’t want to leave them for dead, either.

looking back she’s pretty sure the owl beast was laughing at her.

laughed even harder when she took in luz. you’re an apprentice, kid, eda had told her, and the girl had squealed, and her daemon had sat there on her shoulder with her tiny chest puffed out, and something in eda knew this was going to be a permanent thing.

oh well. at least she skipped the changing diapers phase of things.

Discussion

for the first one: oh! hey! this one is relevant to for the future which im writing right NOW! ive been thinking a lot recently about how kings gonna be Doing in that entire like, 2-3 months he's basically on his own with the collector, because i'll be expanding out from what was shown in the show, and just...god. poor kid.

its terrifying! im a collector lover but even i'll admit he is Not great with king, especilly towards the start, and thats not going anywhere--king misses his family and the collector has been on his own for so LONG, and has this sense of entitlement to kings time + space. why does everyone else get a lifelong friend with them since birth? the collector wants that! and if they werent born with it they'll find a friend then! like KING!

its just a LOT. it makes for fun writing though kdnfkgdfg king doesnt hate the collector but oh boy is he not actually friends with them.

this one also makes it pretty obvious what im doing in regards to king being a titan lol but ive decided not to talk so explicitly about that unless im asked a question in which i cant speak around it. i gotta keep some of my secrets!

for the second one: MOM EDA MY BELOVED sorry i literally love that trope so much okay. its so so fun to write. eda really tripped and fell into parenthood like ah shit now ive got to be responsible for HOW MANY of these guys now? two? three? am i supposed to count mari and luz as one or two because based on the day that is a WILDLY different answer.

but yeah <3 its also made even more funny that firefly knew 100% what she was getting into. this was a massive shock to eda, but firefly's been a mom from the start!

also ooooh got that owlbert mention huh wonder what that is about...wonder what my owlbert secrets might be....if he shows up at all....hmmmm...

[obb-z-scene]

RIProducer's "Pyrite Girl" reminds me of Rick!!

TW mental health and suicide discussion

NOT PROOFREAD IF SOMETHING DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SORRY

Analysis below. I'm working from the end to the beginning because I said so.

This is the end..chorus? Christ I'm in choir I should know this. Anyways, something about this just screams his mental state. Not all of it, but a lot of it. It showcases how he's both a huge ass egoist and extremely self loathing. Him just knowing he's destroying himself and that he's going bonkers, but also fully deluding himself into thinking that he IS God and is untouchable when in reality he will break any moment now. It also ties into the irony of the title Pyrite girl, which is also known as "fools gold" due to being mistaken as gold for its colour. His "shield of gold" is really a fake protector.

Him putting up protective emotional walls so he does not get attatched again. Probably after Diane's death, and possibly also from being betrayed by Prime in their partnership/relationship? I'm unsure where their relation to eachother will actually lead canonically but I've read some interesting theory posts and it's got me convinced a lil bit so I'm adding this.

He oh so badly wants to be understood and comforted but he doesn't have anyone anymore because they all either left or betrayed him. (Let's push Squanchy and BP aside for the sake of convenience I'm tired) and this will soon turn into a need to hide the vulnerable parts of himself away.

Ricks response to Prime's betrayl, "you left me covered in gold" implying that Rick is the reason he is the way he is today. His anger is new but so is his grief, and it hits so very hard. ("don't you try me! Don't take it lightly!" And "I'm broken, yet somehow, still alive.")

"I've been pulverized for the past five thousand five hundred days." References his endless hunt for Prime. It's exhausting and killing him so badly, example "you shattered my mind one thousand times.", but he's counting every single day to torture himself because he can't keep failing his family. This can also be backed by how the AI in his old house taunts him so horribly, and he even fucked with the time in that dimension just so he could suffer and continue to look with a constant agonizing reminder.

This mainly just reminds me of all the enemies and allies he's made but there's also an actual point here. The people in his life that love him want to try and fix him in their own way. People like Birdperson and Morty. Probably even short term partners, not-seen-in-canon-friends, and probably Unity too when it broke things off. It realized it could not fix someone that wants to stay broken. And Rick does need support, he needs his big support system because he's been so lonely for so long. But without him putting the work in himself, not much can be done. I actually read a fanfiction where Unity had used some sort of mind control to make Rick pass out before he killed himself, and I think that was really smart but also sad. It knows it can't jeopardize it's own health to be around him, he is toxic and infectious like the plague. He seeps into every person around him to survive, but it sees the humanity in him.

In conclusion, the song can be seen as Ricks fall into...himself. or a fake self, someone he shouldn't have been. You can also just think all of this is bullshit and that's okay too. This song is really good and it's story is both a thinker and easy to place at the same time! I hope I made sense and that my tired almost-4-AM brain didn't make you want to retake kindergarten. Feel free to pm me or comment whether you just wanna tell me how your day was or you want to discuss this more. :)

-Ozzy