#So i KNOW i have nothing to be afraid of
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Hm i was gonna care about what people thought of me tomorrow at work regarding my outfit but then i remembered: i can dress comfy but still be cute like i do all the time & like my coworkers do, it’s not that deep, and no one even cares. They’re also the sweetest people. I gotta stop taking things like that so seriously. I’m gonna wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants and put my hair in a clip cause i want to be comfortable and like who cares?
It’s literally just a preschool and we’re not even doing that much stuff. Now the kids are a handful but it’s pretty chill. We basically do a mini church service & the kids dance, they do some crafts on and off throughout the day, have music class, go outside for a little bit, eat lunch, take a nap, wake up and have another snack, play, and go home. There’s aids who help them throughout the day too for bathroom breaks and helping teachers. It’s really simple and i’m finally starting to adjust a bit to the whole thing. So yeah, it’s never that serious.
I love that i can find the tiniest glimpses of freedom in things lately, no matter how big or small the situation is! God is guiding me like a little kid - the same way we are guiding these babies at my job. Even when we don’t want to be He is still holding our hands no matter how many times we pull our hands back 🥹
True story w one of the little ones i was trying to hold onto to bring him to the play room. He kept pulling away and sticking his hand in his shirt so i couldn’t hold his hand bc he’s very independent. But i was still leading him even though he wouldn’t let me touch him. He still followed us in there. And that made me think of the way we are with God at times. It’s so neat getting taught lessons like this in ways you aren’t searching for them!
#My coworkers are all so sweet too#I’m excited for work tomorrow#Sensing a lot of grace and freedom finally in my work life 🥹 i’m feeling more open minded ready for new things and way calmer in general#Like i was terrified but i had a good day the first day and on Thursday#So i KNOW i have nothing to be afraid of#The lady i subbed for has been my fav so far and she’s easy to talk to!!#I feel like i’m starting to be able to breathe#I really hope i don’t have to ever sub for the older kids#I mean i’ll try it but i want to stay with the toddlers#That’s where i felt called by God tho that doesn’t MEAN i will just be there#though it could. Like i said i’ll try it out when needed but ultimately i want to be w the babies#So hopefully my boss will let me stay here 🙏🏻#I know i know we gotta expand and grow but i hope my God given dream allows me to specifically work in the area He has called me to be in#I didn’t want to work w toddlers but He placed that dream in my heart a month before i got to my church/job there so i meannnn#It’s so cool how He works that way <3#feastingonchrist#Now lemme lock in and get to sleep!
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the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid
#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#the book of bill#tbob#young ford pines#turtlearts#also sorry i got the heights devastatingly wrong fidds is so damn short here im sorryyy#for the record i was thinking of when mcgucket and ford reunited at the end where he actually is much shorter and smaller so erm idk man#please dont be mad#also i KNOW this is not lore accurate or whatever and i made it so much more sappy (?) than how it actually went but my hobby is being sapp#so leave me alone <3#also i do love me a ford thats afraid of vulnerability so theres also that haha#my favorite thing to draw was the first panel of fids with the banjo and then the 2nd to last picture#everything else looks like shit sorry#but i haaadd to post it ok . i have nothing else so dont complain and eat up kids#also do NOT laugh at my piss poor comic skills. literally dont even i swear to god
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It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userteri#userdiana#usertreena#miatendos#ruby sunday#enid meadows#roger ap gwilliam#*#this whole thing was just so interesting???#like supposedly the fairy circle meant nothing and mad jack is just a story they made up#but then where did the woman (who is definitely real and definitely supernatural in nature) come from.#what was she saying to people to make them afraid of RUBY. SPECIFICALLY.#why did they call her a HERALD to MAD JACK. then she was used to defeat roger. who by complete coincidence is also called mad jack.#(hey you know what else you could call a herald. perhaps... a prelude. maybe even... a harbinger)#how did ruby TURN INTO the woman when she (i have to assume) died of old age#AND MAYBE MOST IMPORTANTLY. IF OLD DEAD RUBY STOPPED THEM FROM BREAKING THE CIRCLE. WHICH STOPPED EVERYTHING ELSE.#THEN IS ROGER AP GWILLIAM NOT GOING TO REMAIN AS PRIME MINISTER IN 2046?????#or even though that timeline was erased did it still happen Enough for him to... lose? still resign but this time for no reason???#and WHY are we probably NEVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS#AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE DOCTOR FOR 70+ YEARS
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early years
and more stuff down here
just doodles, and a very stressed out me. thought this was a perfect time to post since i’m actually going back to school tomorrow for my last semester of high school lol. happy late new years btw (oh and brony headcanon i got from @bonkerbuster69 . you are cooooollll)
#markvid#cotc#elders of the creek#elder mark#elder david#my art#back on my shit. even though i haven’t really been off it#actually vent a bit cause tags make me comfortable for some reason#nothing serious but i get MASSIVE anxiety whenever i post literally anything on this site. because eyeballs are staring at it judging#like fresh meat#and iddkkkk eeeeuuggh it’s scaaarrryyyy#and that’s why i haven’t been posting jack shit but anyways. that is the life of a young adult on the internet for you ig#i talked about it to my therapist and woh is me and no surprise or anyone. i am afraid of the unknown#that unknown includes not knowing what people think of me and my art#so yeah gang i think i legit just have mad anxiety issues lmao#oh fuck i see a typo#whateverrr#anyways bye again. i must become a cog in the education system once more
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Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.
Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)
The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].
Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”
Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.
Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.
The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.
The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.
#I’ve got some horrible little headcanons rattling around tbh#Dutch and Hosea have different methods and demeanours but truly are partners in crime not only in the literal sense but also are#one another's accomplice in how they raised/treat John and Arthur.#I think that Hosea gets let off the hook a little too easy and I really enjoy thinking about the implications of his behaviour on the boys#just as much as I enjoy analyzing that of Dutch.#Also??? The way that Arthur seemed to die not realizing this adds layers to it in my head. John had all that time to mull it over and think#after all that had happened with the gang throughout his life and I'm CERTAIN he did a LOT of thinking about when exactly Dutch's#true colours started to shine through over the years... so I'd say its safe to assume that he did a lot of thinking about the pair of them.#I want to know if he is capable of thinking fondly about Hosea in spite of this because he has been dead for a long time#Or does he hold a grudge against him even post-mortem? John at least got to have a conversation with Dutch and see exactly what he's become#I wonder to what extent that perfect image he had of Dutch being tainted caused him to see things clearer than#Arthur was ever given the chance?#Arthur died not knowing but I think John might have the tendency to ruminate on it in the years that followed.#I wonder what conclusions he came to about his life up until that moment while sitting alone in the aftermath.#Was he afraid? Did he even want to unpack all that? To potentially ruin every good thing he'd ever had just because Dutch went off the rail#in the end? If so... what would he have left if it turned out that nothing was ever the way it seemed?#red dead redemption 2#the curious couple and their unruly son#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews#arthur morgan#john marston#red dead meta#paisley.txt
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disco elysium update: i've started day 2, but i'm not particularly enjoying myself at the moment... i don't really know what to do or where to go, i feel like i have painted myself in a corner with failed checks and the only available options are ones i absolutely do not want to do. i find the mechanics confusing and overwhelming and i am feeling very discouraged that maybe if i had understood them better earlier, i would be getting somewhere. i want so badly to enjoy the story but it feels like it's going to take a lot of effort to like, get any of it :(((
HOWEVER i suspect that if i try again on a day i feel less headachey than today, and if i manage to find some kind of breakthrough that doesn't involve becoming a fascist, i will hopefully get back on track and feel a lot better about the game again. hopefully!!!!
#i think pentiment worked for my particular game brain a lot better#having to fiddle with stats stresses me out so much#i did look at the clipboard until i fainted so that was great#i haven't removed the corpse yet. turns out i need to internalize a thought and my thought cabinet was full#because i didn't know what the thought cabinet was and that it could get full and how i could unlock more space and it almost made me cry#BUT i have. unlocked a new thought space now and i will hopefully get to remove that corpse sometime soon and HOPEFULLY that gets me anywhe#so i don't just. run back and forth for hours achieving nothing at all!!!!!!#apologies to everyone who has been very excited for me to enjoy the game. i was enjoying it until i ran out of leads to follow#im a little bit worried it might not like. do for me what it's done for others. but im still early in#and i think. today was just not a good videogame day#i play disco following 2 rules. 1) don't be afraid to be cringe. 2) always listen to kim
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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Conan finding out that being a super secret spy isn't that great when you're in high school just trying to pass midterm but suddenly you find yourself being mobilized and having to sneak around at 8.32 p.m. on a Tuesday to chase down an escaped convict rather than going over the chemistry notes the TA gave you earlier.
#16 yr old conan from my Son. au im so sorry#u will never have an easy life im afraid...#detective conan#by the way that /thing/ in his hand has a silencer. i know its not effective but its better than nothing#conan#fanart#my fics#son au#bibi forced cabinet moment#i spent more time on that gun than i did everything else
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scoundrel?? what scoundrel???? the magnificent mr cards (who ironically has more of a flower aesthetic going on) is completely unrelated to any "bandaged scoundrels" running around the neath. in fact it's never heard of the word scoundrel ever in its entire definitely long definitely ancient life. but yknow, hypothetically, if it did know the scoundrel, it's confident that they're really really really handsome and cool and epic and they're almost just as amazing as it is and you should totally donate all your valuables to them and stuff
aaand because i like them too much, have a transparent version. the Creachure. the Thing, even.
#the scoundrel's flower theme vs the 'canon' cards gambler theme. the latter lost this round im afraid#i do really like how they came out though#yin art#fallen london#sorry for posting cringe (my art) in the maintag it will probably inevitably happen again#while im here: design notes!#in my head their robe is like. Heavy. very thick velvet probably getting very dirty dragged around on the floor everywhere#the little drapes around their body are probably gold of some kind. the bangles and rings definitely are#the flowers here are almost certainly fake compared to their usual ones.#do you know how much tax must happen on surface flowers going neathward.#the scoundrel probably spends half of their rent budget keeping their stupid aesthetic alive#their glasses stand out like their eyes while wearing the robe mostly due to cartoon logic#they probably mostly have their normal look on underneath. aka still have their bandages#the ones on their hands are fraying bc bat claws grow sharp and grow large. they're a bit fraught over it.#they dont like looking at any part of themself including the hands#it DOES help their mastersona seem authentic though. so that's a hashtag bonus#they mainly trade in luck and debts. and hijinks. they dont officially trade in hijinks but they definitely sure do get up to it#word is probably already starting to spread about how much mr cards hates boats.#surely this has nothing to do with the scoundrel's famed dislike of the exact same thing.#surely.#scoundrelventures
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#heavier than my usual venting#im living in a lot of fear right now#my entire family is undocumented-- if not in the process of becoming citizens#i'm afraid of my parents leaving the house and never coming back#i'm afraid i'll hear that a brother or a sister have been taken#i don't even know if i'll be able to keep my birthright citizenship#we are not white passing-- most of my family can barely speak english#we live in one of the biggest sanctuary cities in the fucking country and now that's not a source of security anymore#i am in so much fear#it borders on paralyzing and i know that does nothing to help#i'm already quiet when it comes to chatting and while i am trying to push through it#doom scrolling and just allowing myself to spiral into despair isn't going to help anyone#but im working with possibly even less spoons than i already do#i want to keep creating and working on stuff since its the few things that give me joy#but its been hard to get out of this headspace#i don't plan on self-isolating or anything like that but i can already feel myself shifting into a strange sense of apathy#for a lot of things#i don't like that#it's awful#i don't want to drown in this#please be patient with me
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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Some sad kinda fucked Ifrit thoughts because I woke up and they came
Cw; Substance Abuse, Sex as a coping mechanism, and just kinda general sads.
Nothing graphic said but still putting those ^
Ifrit
Big, Strong, oh so stupid Ifrit.
That's what was thought of him. A muscle head who fucked hard, partied hard, and got fucked up without a care.
An easy fuck and go without connections, without having to stick around after sorta thing
That isn't who he was though.
This was all learned behavior because it's what got him the attention he craved, any sense of being useful, cared about even if it was only because his body was useful
He loved and hated every single second of every single hookup, high, and any other thing that got him out of his head
If he wasn't happy he wasn't useful, if he didn't stay the persona they all knew he wouldn't be liked, if she showed just how broken inside he truly was he'd lose everything and everyone he had, no matter how superficial he needed the attention
It didn't matter if it was a vicious cycle of regrets, and horrible sleepless night, bad highs and.. thoughts he shouldn't have. Couldn't have
It was all he had now
His pack was broken.
His pack hated him after he left.
He never bothered to try and reconnect, why would he.
Aether, Mountain, and Dew stayed with the band, Zephyr never spoke to him, Mist was long gone to be with the lake.
He couldn't bother any of them with this.
With him.
He left the pack, he left the band, that was his choice. He left the only people who cared about him and for what? To go and be whatever he was now?
Yes.
Even when he knew he could possibly rekindle something he didn't. Shoved those feelings down and shoved more substance down his throat.
He didn't deserve it.
Didn't deserve to have that happiness.
That comfort.
Ifrit used to be the most caring, lovable golden retriever there was.
Always following someone's trail, loving on them, and doing every favor he could
His pack loved him
He loved his pack
Now a days he's nothing more then an old dog owned by a family long since grown.
One that's waiting for the first excuse to be put down despite all the love it has left to give.
He thinks it's what he deserves.
A life of misery, and pain without comfort.
He watches his old pack in longing, the only happiness coming from seeing how happy and healthy they are
He'd do anything for them even now
He's so happy to see them thrive and love each other
Even if it also breaks his heart.
#He doesnt know how Zeph looks on longing for his mate to come home to him.#He doesn't know how much Aether wants to reach out but doesn't know how that won't send Ifrit farther into the deep end#He doesn't know that after the transition Dew wanted nothing more then for the fire ghoul to help him. comfort him. teach him#Dews been too afraid to ever speak up to him. After a offhanded comment a very fucked up Ifrit made when he smelled the ghouls scent#He couldn't bring himself to thinking he was hated#He doesn't know that the teas and medicines he finds in his medicine cabinet that help a suspicious amount with the exact hangovers#and issues hes been having were Mountain sneeking them in for him. A silent way to care without upsetting him#He doesn't know that the occasional rocks and shells he finds were small trinkets from Mist#He doesn't know that hes still very very loved by his pack#---#cw substance use#tw substance abuse#These are juet some disjointed Ifrit thoughts#I kinda want to put the tags into the post itself but idk#Too late now#Ifrit has been on my mind so much lately#I think in my lore he does eventually get help and get back into the Pack#Aether and Ifrit are mated in my mind#but also Ifrit and Zeph are#idk it's a lot of thoughts I dont know if I could ever put onto paper#ifrit ghost#ifrit ghoul#dewfrit#aether ghoul#aether ghost#water dew#dewdrop ghost#dewdrop ghoul#dewdrop
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colour distribution for teams without colours in their names
look at me. look me in my eye. this is only FULL TEAMS that dont have colours in their titles. Time Fire/KuwagaRaiger/Signalman/LupinX etc etc are all on teams where most/all of their teammates DO have colours in their names. thats why they are not here.
#sentai#i know nothing about donbrothers and at this point i am kind of afraid of it#anyway#i had a thought so i made a visual aid#couple notes#kenya is a tricky one. put him where your heart feels he should be#misao is default in his rhino form which is black so he counts as black#shout out Shiro Izumi for being here twice#pop off king#idk i just really like when they dont have their colours in their names#a lot of them i end up calling their suit name more than i do their character name#like oh you call that guy griffon??? dont mind if i do#shark. dragon. france. king. many such cases
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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damn it @limitbreaker23 you KNOW what happens when you throw rairpairs at me 😠… 🤭
ngl I’ve never even considered Lan Wangji/Mianmian together (hardcore zhancheng shipper here) but I can definitely see them working really well! And their babies would be the prettiest 🥰
Morning routine for WangMian
#mdzs#art prompt#lan wangji#mianmian#luo qingyang#wangmian#is that their ship name?#there’s nothing for them here and like 8 fics on ao3 that are mostly lwj cheating on her with wwx which… no.#try creativity people. please. 🙄#mdzs art#my art#I can see lwj afraid of becoming his father and trapping mianmian in cloud recesses#he knows she’d wither away in CR like his mother and so maybe he urges her to becoming a rogue cultivator#or maybe he takes to the road with her and they raise their kids with that wandering lifestyle#idk#the plotbunnies have arrived 😱#*sigh*#time to add another nonexistent rairpair to my pool noodle raft#thanks
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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