#feastingonchrist

[feastingonchrist]

you guys it was maybe a month ago i was SOBBING to God, not once but twice that week because i was struggling terribly with my social skills and feeling so insecure and embarrassed. I felt like i lost all my progress i had made over the past few years. to now in the past weeks i have felt so much more confident while talking to people, even people at work i barely even know and multiple people have told me they can see my personality coming through/i'm like a new person. that has blown me away!!! He is literally bringing me to life. ALL I DID WAS BEGIN GOING TO CHURCH AND ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE BEEN POURED OUT UPON ME! i decided to try and not overthink how i'm coming across and what i'm going to say and it's released the pressure off of me. i've surrendered that to God to handle because i didn't want to deal with it anymore and He has been taking care of it so fast. my confidence has grown so much in the shortest amount of time ever in my life. like He really meets me in the darkest places and soon after begins to move and renews my mind and Spirit and attitude and perspective on things. He has been in the process of helping me move through fear as i walk into it but continues to deliver me out of it into a better place. He is helping me with my endurance and it's made me to trust in Him in deeper ways. i've begun delighting in Him with tenderness and am soaking in His peace and it's been grounding. like i've entered a new layer of peace with Him and my gosh it's so gentle and tangible and i just want to stay there forever in that Presence sometimes. my spiritual discipline isn't the greatest at times and He's getting me there (Psalm 23:1-2 moment.) But my goodness it's wild to have gone from believing in Christ but not putting my faith to action to now doing exactly that and i have just been receiving blessing after blessing - whether it's spiritual (seeing grace everywhere) or relational (just people loving me like Jesus or enjoying my job and adoring going to church and talking to people every week as i practice my social skills.) I say this all the time "idk why all of a sudden He's decided to start blessing me in these ways and what did i do to deserve it?" i know i did nothing and that He has always loved me right where i'm at but it's interesting as i follow the patterns of these past few months and i can't help but wonder if it's all because i have been taking steps of faith into the unknown and it's tested my trust in Him and endurance in those "dim mirrors" as Paul would say which has brought me into closer communion with Christ and i've been able to "see more clearly" and understand things on a deeper spiritual level. idk but ugh HE IS SO GOOD I AM CONSTANTLY TOUCHED AND HE IS JUST DOING GREAT THINGS WITHIN ME AND THE OTHERS AROUND ME. I wish i could talk ab these things without sounding repetitive but i swear He is doing these things and having me learn them/lessons over and over again to show me that i can trust Him and work things out of me to bring the new in. i really do love Him so much my gosh i really do. This is the best season of my entire walk with Him since i got saved in 2021 nearly 4 whole yrs ago and i am trying to soak it all in and even process it!!!! so i share all of this on here bc it's a lil diary for me, i love to share what He's doing for me to show others He can do it for anyone and i want to give hope to others with my testimonies. i have had so many of these recently and it's made me so joyful 🥹

[feastingonchrist]

I think i have the flu 😓 i felt fine last Thursday, just a dry throat (thinking i was dehydrated) and was getting hot but the heater was on all day at work so i assumed it was that. I had a minor cold from then until Monday. I started feeling sicker by the end of the work day on Monday. I didn’t get good sleep that night and felt exhausted. I stayed up late last night for some time to self regulate and calm myself down (literally rocking and humming to music lol). I woke up this afternoon after 11ish hrs of sleep and i just had tired eyes. I felt well rested. But i started feeling worse not long after. My heart is racing and it’s hard to breathe, my head/face have pressure and my throat hurts along with painful coughing and a stuffy nose. I have places to be fr i don’t have time to be sick. I was supposed to work tomorrow and now i don’t think that’s happening. If that doesn’t work out i hope i will AT LEAST be able to make it to church on Sunday or i’ll be very sad :(

Would any of you be willing to say a prayer for me along with anyone else who is sick right now? It’d really mean a lot.

[feastingonchrist]

Having a controversial testimony 🤝 being too scared to share it

(especially around those who i still occasionally interact with on IG because i don’t know how they’ll react no matter how gently i say it. They are my old friends, we were super close and bonded over things that i no longer have anything to do with. I feel like i’ve outgrown them spiritually as they do not follow Christ and our conversations fall flat because there is really nothing to talk about. We barely talk anyways and idk i have felt a pull away from them for a long time but i don’t know what to do.)

like i am genuinely so scared to even talk about any of it it because i know they are currently far from acknowledging the truth of God’s word and standards about anything at all. I am scared of people speaking about me. I am scared of how i’ll be perceived. And i know that is me idolizing their opinions of me and people pleasing and it’s not a good thing…. But it’s so hard to leave that mindset. I could just also rip the bandaid off and do it but i don’t know how good of an approach that would be. I just want to leave and partly that is due to fear but the other part of me is just sick of being online and i have wanted to leave IG for a long time anyways.

Christ has changed me so much (spiritually & politically are two big ones; ones people get bothered by the most ) and it sucks when it feels like there is something blocking me from speaking about it. I want to walk in freedom and face the fear because fear is a joke anyways but ugh this has been the absolute hardest thing for me - sharing my testimony from before Christ and what He’s done/is doing for me. I can enjoy it and feel free and joyful because of what He has done for me but it’s hard to be able to talk about it freely. I also was never able to express my emotions or opinions as a kid without getting in trouble, told to stop crying or being told i’m arguing. This is how the culture acts, too. It’s scary. So this is connected. And i know we shouldn’t fear man and that God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear and perfect love casts out fear. That works for me in other situations, but this area has had a stronghold on me for years and it makes me feel so isolated :( I’d like to ask for prayer & if you could share this if you don’t mind 😓❤️‍🩹

[feastingonchrist]

Progressive "Christianity" is nothing but Marxism, weaponizing empathy and love, while not even understanding what true love is (ONLY found through the Gospel),watering down the gospel and only preaching half of it, making God into your own image, denying biblical truth and authority along with God's authority, denying Jesus' identity while not being grounded in the one and only identity only found in Jesus Christ - but finding their identity in the world/sin, straight up blaspheming God in some circumstances, not taking sin seriously and even encouraging it (otherwise you're a bigoted, homophobic, transphobe, etc.) and only using scripture when it's convenient to furthering the political agenda which is constantly being updated because it's not rooted in truth; only lies, bullying and manipulation. They have traded THE ONE TRUE GOD for the god of politics, social justice and god of self. I could probably say more but this wasn't scripted and it has been on my mind for a little while today after seeing that straight up joke of a bishop "preaching" in that church while the Trump and Vance families were in attendance.

These are the wolves in sheep's clothing we have been warned about in scripture. It grieves me that these people have invaded and taken over the Church so rapidly and have caused many denominations to split. Look at what they have done to the United Methodist Church... it has split apart because of this. I'm in a Methodist church that used to be UMC until the church split int the GMC because people are fed up with the nonsense. They have also invaded the Presbyterian, Lutheran, Episcopal and Anglican churches, too. They take over our long standing, historical churches that are full of beauty, richness and tradition and make faithful Christ followers want to leave, while force feeding a bunch of political ideology into the ears of the attendants. They still find some sort of value in liturgy and tradition, though, but i do not think they are doing it in any sense of reverence toward God. It seems as though they are only doing it because it looks "nice" and "religious". I mean for goodness sakes, they take COMMUNION in these services... that is a serious offense to Christ. They have no business leading our churches or a new and vulnerable congregation of people who seem to be wanting to come to Christ who are led astray from Him right in the same buildings that we are to be learning about Him and gathering together to worship Him. This is why i say they weaponize empathy and love in the name of tolerance because they bully and manipulate people into bowing down to their god of politics and keep the law of social justice and political correctness and are putting so much confidence in themselves to change the world, which is nothing but idolatry and self glorification. If you go against their beliefs you are a heretical blasphemer who will be sentenced to being canceled and possibly even doxxed. That is not pleasing to God, only their flesh. They are their own gods and they think they can control people and have the authority to tell others what to do and punish them when they don't comply. So whatever they say, think, feel and do is perfectly okay in their eyes and that is why they are so offended when people are pro-life because it challenges their excess needs for control and pleasure. These people are like the blind leading the blind and their souls are headed towards destruction. It really just makes me sick and angry and i really do grieve for these people. They do not take any of this stuff seriously. We have a lot of praying to do for these people and for our Churches. This needs to stop.

So: at what point do we stop calling progressive "Christianity"; "Christianity" and their services "church"? Because at this point it really is just a social and political club. Go find your OWN buildings and leave ours alone. Notice how none of their behavior is bearing any good fruit or Christ-like behavior and attitudes? It's because it's NOT OF GOD. They may read from the Bible and praise His name in service, but it is all empty and meaningless. I really am so fed up over all of it. I pray we can take our churches back and get back to upholding and defending biblical truths and traditions. You cannot rewrite Christianity or change who God is or what the gospel is in the same way that politics keep evolving and expanding because God doesn't change and neither does the truth of His word. Stop calling progressive "Christianity" TRUE CHRISTIANITY because it's NOT AND NEVER WILL BE. Leftist ideology and Christianity will never mix so stop trying to make it happen.

[homelessnerd]

EDIT: This was unfair of me to write. I should not have assumed intent. I won’t delete it because people should be able to see the mistake that I made, and the point still stands if you did indeed lack compassion or mock OP, but I am sorry for assuming things so quickly. If I were to adjust the message it would be to be aware of how what you say comes across.

——————————————————————————

I was looking through the notes on this, and I am saying this as a Christian to my fellow Christians on this post. For the most part, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

We are not to laugh at the obvious death of people’s souls. We are not to mock or patronize people for saying things that show they don’t understand God. It is utterly inappropriate to look at someone that, from our worldview, is already spiritually dead, and have such a level of disregard for their souls that we send a meme.

You were once as they are, even if you don’t think you were that bad. You can still be quite close to that bad. You looked at someone who has had their heart ripped out of their chest, likely by someone who falsely claimed to follow God, and thought it would be a GOOD IDEA to pour salt in the wound rather than try to stop the bleeding.

Be ashamed of that, and learn to have compassion rather than ridicule for those who look at God and laugh. God doesn’t laugh, because he knows the danger they are in. You should not laugh either.

@feastingonchrist and @justalowlyservant appear to be the ONLY two Christians on this thread so far that have not had any level of sarcasm, taunting, ridicule, or other lack of humility on this post.

Idk who needs to hear this but you ARE a bad person for being Christian and you need to stop.

[feastingonchrist]

thinking ab how my fav church lady (who is like a grandma type figure to me) told me not to let the world steal my peace and the fact that i can’t even seem to access God’s peace anymore is making me really sad. like i am going thru it so bad rn. It sucks like everything in my life is going good i js have a lot of new things happening on top of too much socializing i’m not used to and it’s making me sad. Everything is too much. I can’t seem to adjust. I’m definitely very overstimulated too and everything hurts (plus i still feel not 100% but i can’t tell if i’m sick or not, sometimes overstimulation makes me feel physically sick and exhausted.) idk how to cope and i don’t want to slip into burnout again. This is the second time i have been sobbing & hyperventilating ab this. please pray for me :(

[feastingonchrist]

church today!!!!!!!!!!! (i'm so excited, if you couldn't tell by all those exclamation points!)

[feastingonchrist]

I guess God is also in the business of restoring my digestive issues because i have been able to eat a lot more than usual lately!! Now some days i can still only eat once a day, but i have been eating a lot more snacks and sometimes two meals a day! And i have been taking less indigestion pills after meals! Food and eating has been very traumatic for me because i never know what to eat since my stomach is so sensitive and i have cut out a lot of foods while trying to figure out what i can eat. I’m going to get some blood work soon and then get my endoscopy done to see why i’ve been having all of these mysterious health issues since 2016. It’s been kind of strange seeing God work in other ways of my life but not noticing my health improving as much. My health issues are the biggest burden for me but i know He is not far from ever healing me. I actually think greater healing is going to come one day and that gives me hope because i know He sees our pain and hears our cries and prayers and it hurts Him even more than it hurts us. He uses our darkest moments and most painful struggles and when the time is right; restores them to something far greater. He has done this for me in many areas, so i know He’s not done yet. His grace is never-ending. There is so much freedom in Christ.

[feastingonchrist]

Church tomorrow 😙😜

[feastingonchrist]

ooh i am nervous about Wednesday because i start my work test run, and then two more times after that to see if it's gonna be the right fit for me. my boss told me she will help me as best as she can. but if it doesn't work out she may let me be an aid instead. i honestly would rather be an aid, especially starting out because i feel that the position she has me in requires more experience, and i already have no experience in either position..... i'm just gonna go in there with openness and see what happens. Gonna let God handle that one lol.

i'm just grateful my job is at my church and not elsewhere because there is a lot more grace towards all of us and we're in a safe environment with a team of mainly mothers and some younger girls who have a passion for teaching, caring for infants/children and teaching them about Jesus! I am excited to start working, i just feel so unqualified that it's hard to see how i'm gonna fit in.

[feastingonchrist]

this is actually insane 😭 so because i don’t support progressive Christianity (is what i’m assuming what this is about) and actually follow the bible i’m not actually following the One True God? Even though it’s Jesus Christ i follow. And i acknowledge that He is the Son of God, the Messiah, who died for our sins & reconciliation back to God who was buried and rose again and is seated at the right hand of the Father who will come back to judge the living and the dead one day? Jesus IS LOVE but He isn’t ever going to accept sin because that wouldn’t be loving. He has set boundaries for all of us BECAUSE He loves us. But because i don’t fit your definition of who Jesus is, you assume i’m following the devil? Yeah um no! I know exactly who i follow and as a matter of fact, i wouldn’t have been transformed or have been experiencing so much of God’s goodness and grace upon me for the last 4 years and particularly right now as He’s been blessing me greatly in this season i’m in. I respect people’s opinions but i don’t appreciate these weak and false accusations. I really don’t respect people using an incorrect, made up identity of who Jesus is to further their political agenda to promote lawlessness without any boundaries or means of authority. Radicalization is dangerous for our country. I have explained myself in the tags on my previous post and my opinion is a fair one at that. Also: i think people can live their lives however they see fit. It’s not my place to impose my beliefs on anyone nor do i think that’s appropriate. I don’t hate anybody. But i do think we all need Christ because He is the way, the truth, and the life. I believe in the Bible and recognize it’s authority and truth. Being “open minded” is not Biblical. Jesus is not “open minded”. He is Holy. He is the Lord. He doesn’t compromise. We are to follow Him with reverence, respect, love, and die to ourselves daily. But again, you have every right to think however you want. As do i. I think that’s fair. Jesus has changed my life and i have never felt more at peace than i do now. It’s just so beyond frustrating to me when people see what i have written and twist it into something else and accuse me of not actually knowing Christ because “God is love” or “love thy neighbor”. I agree with that TOO, obviously. But love, something God created, is defined by HIS STANDARDS, not the world’s. People don’t understand that and misinterpret the Bible and don’t get the fullness of the truth, who God is, Jesus’ identity or the fullness of the Gospel. These are the fundamentals of Christianity. They are NOT secondary or tertiary issues. These are step 1. They are serious. We cannot redefine what Christianity is to suit our desires/thoughts. We must be transformed by the Gospel. Otherwise, it’s not Christianity. And that’s just the truth. You can’t deconstruct and reconstruct a 2000+ year old (and older than that pre-Christ) religion full of history and the character and miracles and of God because God is the same today, yesterday and forever. You either choose Him, follow the Truth, the Word or you don’t. You can’t even do that with any other major world religion. It’s way less accepted, promoted or encouraged. I wish people would stop doing it to Christianity. I also decided not to respond to the person bc i don’t want any back and forth drama nor do i think it’s worth addressing because they’ve already made their mind up about me. With that being said: i encourage everyone to pray for this person. I have done so myself. I did want to share this though and i may delete it soon.

[feastingonchrist]

i have recently come to a place in my faith where i can see God's loving work of grace in just about everything. the way i can actually see Him working in my life (my faith, taking steps i never would have taken before, my perseverance, chains of bondage being broken off of me as He is bringing healing to me in all of these areas and setting me free into joy, peace, freedom, hope, confidence, etc.), to Him working for, in and through others i know personally/the body of Christ whose testimonies, encouragement and teachings i receive, how people have treated me kindly and how i am better able to treat others, how people speak with grace, joyfully and freely praise God, and the atmosphere of my church as a whole. i am deeply moved by everyone's kindness, the music ministry, the comfortable and laid back church environment, and gentleness all throughout the place through attitudes, excitement and in overall in Spirit. It's like a breath of fresh air that i can't get enough of because i didn't know that i needed it.) I tried my best to explain my gratitude and make sense of it all, but i can't make sense of it all nor put it into the proper words God so deserves. I am overwhelmed.... in a good way!

I can just SEE God working and moving in spectacular ways and that is such a special, reoccurring blessing i have been receiving in these past few months. i remember last week, when i was going through something, and i saw a small way that God had gently invited His grace and freedom in that area, i felt so joyful and less bound by that situation afterwards, i compared it to a dove - the symbol of peace; the Holy Spirit - a vision of the dove sitting upon my shoulder, with peace radiating from it. That was grace!!!! I am so blessed. That's what i keep finding myself thinking and i can't stop saying it, either!! His grace is at the root and the heart of the gospel. May we grow deeper in the true understanding of the gospel - His love and grace toward us, that we never forget and lose heart, sight or hope of His goodness!!!! He has already set us free. Let us walk in that freedom. Let us walk in faith and keep our eyes set on Christ and His finished work for us. Let us find rest in His love, peace, joy and hope. Amen.

[feastingonchrist]

Hm i was gonna care about what people thought of me tomorrow at work regarding my outfit but then i remembered: i can dress comfy but still be cute like i do all the time & like my coworkers do, it’s not that deep, and no one even cares. They’re also the sweetest people. I gotta stop taking things like that so seriously. I’m gonna wear a sweat shirt and sweatpants and put my hair in a clip cause i want to be comfortable and like who cares?

It’s literally just a preschool and we’re not even doing that much stuff. Now the kids are a handful but it’s pretty chill. We basically do a mini church service & the kids dance, they do some crafts on and off throughout the day, have music class, go outside for a little bit, eat lunch, take a nap, wake up and have another snack, play, and go home. There’s aids who help them throughout the day too for bathroom breaks and helping teachers. It’s really simple and i’m finally starting to adjust a bit to the whole thing. So yeah, it’s never that serious.

I love that i can find the tiniest glimpses of freedom in things lately, no matter how big or small the situation is! God is guiding me like a little kid - the same way we are guiding these babies at my job. Even when we don’t want to be He is still holding our hands no matter how many times we pull our hands back 🥹

True story w one of the little ones i was trying to hold onto to bring him to the play room. He kept pulling away and sticking his hand in his shirt so i couldn’t hold his hand bc he’s very independent. But i was still leading him even though he wouldn’t let me touch him. He still followed us in there. And that made me think of the way we are with God at times. It’s so neat getting taught lessons like this in ways you aren’t searching for them!

[feastingonchrist]

oh my goodness this little baby girl today was the absolute sweetest. just loving all over me non-stop all day. she kept looking up and smiling at me in complete and total adoration. she wanted to be near me and hold my hand and was crawling all over me during nap time lol. i still have her sweet little face and smile in my head. i wonder if that is how God looks at us as His children & when we delight in Him.

[feastingonchrist]

i have been thinking about how i really used to waste my mid teens and very early twenties pretty much "worshiping" celebrities. Like the idolatry was off the charts crazy. I had hoards of photos of them in my camera rolls and had multiple fanpages. They really were like gods to me. I even called them "god" as a half joke. Until i found the One True God. Jesus Christ. It's crazy to look back on. Now, i couldn't care less about celebrities or pop culture. it also doesn't help that it's boring now, too. I still have a soft spot in my heart for those celebrities and their music, but i really don't engage with them or their music anymore (maybe a few songs/albums depending on the person, if the music is appropriate and if i don't feel convicted by it). Most of that came naturally. But there was one celebrity in particular whose music i felt i needed to give up a year or two ago. I felt convicted about it for a while, even though the songs were appropriate. I didn't want to do that at all. while that pained me to do so, i know i made the right decision. if i hear any songs randomly from back then i will enjoy them for a moment but that's all. knowing myself, i'd end up getting attached again if i dove back into their discography for nostalgia purposes and i can't have that happen for my own sake. it can be hard at times to miss all of it too, if i'm being honest. so i truly just have to love them from a distance and appreciate the fun that i had back then! it's really easy for me to become attached to celebrities/things but thankfully God has kept me grounded enough to not have that happen. I only fear Him and worship Him. My identity is in Christ. I can't put my trust or find purpose in anyone but Him.

[feastingonchrist]

so a lot of good things happened today at church. the message inspired me to finally talk to our worship pastor, who actually was the one who gave the message today. it was essentially about taking up your mat and walking - not staying where you're at if you truly want a fresh start (and healing, etc) - but walk toward where God is calling you to be and walk with obedience into the freedom He has for us. That has been the ongoing theme of my life essentially since November when i first came to my church, but especially since December because that is when i began the process to begin working as i was offered a position in the church if anything came up pretty much immediately after going there the first night. warning: this is very long but like i said it's hard to condense things down so its a bit messy so read at ur own risk i guess. it's like 6 paragraphs lol. But i think it's worth it because it's a recent testimony of some things God has helped me with/done for me!

before i get into what my main point is, i wanted to share a few things. i had many people i don't know say kind things to me and i appreciated that, so much that i gave one of those ladies a hug and i had never seen nor met her before. i got to talk to one of my favorite ladies who has taken a liking to me for whatever reason and she is so excited about me working and asked me how it's going. i basically told her how i just keep showing up as i have been since i got to my church and that i was enjoying it. i also told her how peaceful the church is in service and she was telling me that God has brought me there for a reason and is doing great things for me. she told me she loves me and looks forward to seeing me each week and i told her the same thing too. her husband talked to me again and he's usually very quiet but he also seems excited for me. we have a mutual friend at our church who got us settled in so i'm sure they've been talking about things. idk i was much more social today and was in the moment enjoying my conversations and it was so nice!

but during service, i was thinking maybe it was time to talk to my worship pastor to tell her how blessed i've been coming there each week. one of the biggest reasons i even showed up again was because of the music actually being good, it being peaceful in there (as opposed to a loud, non-denominational distracting sensory overloading environment that takes me out of focus with God) and just appreciating the grace that is present when she has something to say. i have just experienced so much freedom and joy and excitement there and she has been a big part of that. so i did pray and ask God if there was a moment i could talk to her that i wanted to and asked for the words to say. while she was praying about obedience and walking into freedom by taking a step, i was also praying against my anxiety about talking to her. He has been working on my social anxiety and i've noticed a change in myself - BUT SO HAVE OTHERS. they told me that today and it made my day! my mom and i went out to eat with the mutual friend i mentioned and had a good time. i had also written him a letter and he was encouraged and said some kind things back to me a couple times including today.

so at the end of service as i was talking to those people and warming up to the idea, i finally just went and stood by the platform as she was talking to some people. for whatever reason, i hugged her before saying anything??? but i told her a few things i wanted to say - not perfectly or what i really wanted to but i was nervous yet it's okay cause i can say more later when i get the chance, tho i may still write her a letter as i previously planned. but she asked if she could pray for me and did that and it meant a lot to me. she also told me thank you for the encouragement. that was the whole reason i wanted to say anything - other than saying thank you - i just wanted to give back and pour into someone else as i've been receiving so much in the very little time i have been at this church. last night i watched a video saying to say what you need to say and let God meet you in that, so i finally did that. i have been led to encourage people and call out the grace in others and to not hold back. it can be very scary to do so, especially for me, but i am practicing my social skills and i just have to do it lol. that's the whole "showing up and walking into freedom" thing.

but i am actually so proud of myself for not walking in fear but instead walking by faith and walking into freedom. i have never felt more blessed in my entire life than i do now in this current season of life. i used to just idly get by because i was comfortable not being uncomfortable, but at the same time, was uncomfortable being comfortable. i was tired of my life and wanted something new. i had been desperately praying for a church to go to that would work for me and i'd actually enjoy (i tried out many churches but the environment felt cold and the worship was all loud/flashy & distracting and only CCM and that makes all my sensory systems bleed!) and i was also praying for a job. AND I GOT BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. i'm also praying for friends my age and a boyfriend lol.

i really don't wanna get redundant in saying i can sense grace at work in my church or even in my personal life, but oh my goodness God has been opening so many doors for me and it's been so tangible and also spiritual- like i can't unsee it in people and their ministries/feel it in the air. idk how to explain it any better than that. but oh my gosh my faith has grown so much in like 60 days just because i keep on showing up even when it's scary or i'm uncomfortable. God's shown up for me over and over and i trust Him so much more now. He's had me in Psalm 23 since October and everyday i am reminded of different verses in it and am encouraged or even led to simply lie down with Him and practice spiritual discipline. It's been so rewarding. The shepherd/sheep imagery just captivates my heart every single time. It's so beautiful and comforting. Making strides with God by my side and i can't stop winning hehe. This is why i can't stop saying how blessed i am or talking about the freedom, peace, and now finally joyful i have been receiving. I never though i'd be experiencing any of this but here i am!!! i just feel overall relieved and brighter. "unburdened by what has been" if you will HAHA that quote actually makes me laugh now it's so fitting tho fr.

anyways i pray someone is blessed by this. i just wanted to share my story and say that God has not forgotten about you if you are someone who hasn't experienced whatever it is that you feel He has promised all of us. He wants to and will. Waiting seasons are hard and so is the wilderness. The wilderness is where we prepare for where He is taking us. It tests our faith, perseverance and endurance. It can be scary, confusing and ugly. But He does so much refining in that season and you will begin to appreciate the hard times because one day you'll look back and see how He kept showing up for you and you'll gain greater trust in Him and reverence toward Him. The harvest season is incredible and full of life, newness, and many blessings. But we must be ready to steward what He has given us and to not forget about Him when things are working out in our favor. I've had to learn that as practicing spiritual discipline has become harder. i think it's been a little bit of sudden spiritual warfare, but also laziness once i realize i gotta lock in and keep moving forward and to find joy in His presence and word again. I have been stuck in singing the doxology as my worship time bc it brings me joy and it's my fav part in church bc i get to hear it w the organ! So that's where i'm at along with Psalm 23. I'm getting back into slowing down and learning to sacrifice my time to instead sit and dine with Him again! His grace never ceases - and never ceases to amaze me. Like it's only getting started every single time. He is SOOOO GOOOOOOD!!!!!!! Everyday i am reminded as to why i need the gospel, what the gospel is and what it offers, and i absolutely love that!! It keeps me in humility and reverence toward God and knowing that i can't do it alone nor trust in my own abilities. Only what He did on the cross and continues to do for me daily. That is true grace and it's so beautiful.