#So at least there's something karmic there.

[orcelito]

ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.

like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo

i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.

[bravevolunteer]

michael has so many nightmares... almost if not every night,,

[yardsards]

companies be putting aloe into shit that should not have aloe in it, for no fucking reason

post brought to you by: apparently they put that shit in MOUTHWASH now and now my mouth is itchy

[cruisectrlll]

hard lesson that rael has to learn the same way I did is that you can't just float through people, your actions and words will come back to you and the people you associate with reflect on you. You're not an untouchable ghost

[cazshmere]

Astrology Observations Pt. 1

materialist🔖

🌷 aries/scorpio in the 2nd house could be prone to acne at least once in their life or their faces get red very easily ❤️

🌷 whenever I hear someone talking about how integral having passion is, I know for sure they have at least one scorpio placement😭❤️‍🔥

🌷 leo venus peeps 🤝🏻 giving the most personalised, thoughtful, tailor made gifts 🎁

🌷 men with taurus/pisces moon/venus placements (with positive aspects) will treat you like a goddess no matter what, queen treatment right here 👑🫶🏻

🌷 12th house synastry is NO JOKE ong. You could have entirely moved on with your life but then suddenly you’d have a dream with them in it and then BOOM you can’t get them out of your mind after that 💤

🌷 starting a new relationship during venus retrograde is a 100000% karmic relationship. The relationship will surely be triggering and might fizzle out really quickly 💔

🌷 your 11th house could show your fs love language because in derivative astrology the 11th house is the 5th house (casual dating) from the 7th house (spouse). For instance, capricorn in the 11th house could mean your spouse’s love language is probably quality time and acts of service, 11th house in scorpio could mean your spouse’s love languages is physical touch, gemini in the 11th house could mean your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation, leo in the 11th house could indicate your spouse’s love language is gift giving/physical touch or quality time 🩵🤍

🌷 cancer in the 5th/7th house 🤝🏻 your momma being heavily involved in the choices you make around your love life 🤱🏻👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏽

🌷I have a feeling venus/mercury or even saturn in the 3rd house (positive aspects mainly) can make someone very skilled at palmistry if they��re planning on doing it 🤲🏼🪬

🌷 something I’ve noticed is that martian placements (aries and scorpio) LOVE hot showers or just enjoy taking a bath in hot water rather than cold water. So I had a question for the venusian placements(taurus and libra), do y’all prefer taking cold showers rather than hot? 🫧🛁

Please do not copy or steal any of my work <3. These are just personal observations so don’t take any of them too seriously 🧿😙♥️.

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[nariism]

wherever you are, wherever you may be — i. rin

soulmates (name au) + "i'm done waiting."

synopsis. itoshi rin meets you under a sky full of fireworks. he spends the next 6 years of his life trying to convince himself that he doesn't love you. you spend the next 6 years giving him every reason why he should.

wc. 12.4k (i need to close my eyes and sleep for a while)

notes. huge thank you to ellie (@hyomagiri) and mari (@saetoshi) for helping me with this 🥹 this fic actually put me through it and i'm so grateful to both of them for their support 💗

— for my beloved @ode2rin 💐 | event masterlist ✉️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2024

Every year on the seventh day of the seventh month, Itoshi Rin finds himself standing at the daunting entrance to his local shrine.

The tradition is completely beneath him—something childish that he grumbles about under his breath despite letting you drag him all the way out here with soft eyes watching your smile.

Tanabata is the festival of stars. Of love.

It is a story his mother used to whisper to him as they watched the night sky in awe, pretending that the galaxy was collapsing in on itself to allow for a romantic midnight rendezvous between two lovers.

It’s something far too sappy for his liking.

But the food is okay, he supposes, and it’s a good opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with you which he seldom has time to do now that he’s back in his training season.

There were too many things about it that he loathed: the screaming children that would bump into his legs; the way his ears would stay ringing for days after the festival ended; how you could always convince him to come as if you were some sort of hypnotic devil in disguise, and how thoroughly wounded his pride would be at that fact.

However, his least favourite part of the festival by far is writing down his wish for the year on a scrap piece of paper and hanging it around a bamboo tree. One, because he can never for the life of him think of anything meaningful to wish for. And two, because he isn’t sure he even believes in that sort of thing.

Rin is struggling again this year, pencil lightly scratching his temple as he thinks.

He’s painfully aware that he’s never put so much thought into this before, but you seemed so excited to come all the way here before heading to the festivities that he couldn’t possibly let you down.

His wish dawns on him then, something he wants to do before the next time he makes the climb all the way back up here 365 days from now.

“Hey,” your voice calls out quietly. “What did you wish for?”

“What did you wish for?” Rin quickly refutes.

You cast your narrowed eyes from the side, tilting your little slip of yellow paper away from him.

“Only if I get to see yours first.”

Normally, he would give in to you right away. His resolve when it comes to you is embarrassingly weak. But there’s no way for him to explain himself. No way he could show you the words he’s written lest he hurt his ego.

He stubbornly folds up the piece of paper and shoves your face away. All you do is laugh and he feels terribly warm.

“No peeking,” he tells you when you kiss across his fingertips.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2018

A name appeared for Itoshi Rin when he turned thirteen years old.

He remembers the day well—it was hard to forget, anyway. As much as he wanted to focus on the burning of the name etching its way down his skin, he couldn’t. Not when he was blinking snow out of his lashes and watching his brother’s retreating back.

Rin likes to think that the universe fucks with him in any way that it can.

Maybe he had done something terrible in his past life and this was its karmic retribution, or maybe he was just unlucky.

What he does know is this: the name on his pinky only reminds him of all the things he ever lost.

Every syllable struck needles into his heart—a painful memory of crawling after the tracks of the wheels Sae left behind with his luggage until gravel and ice were stuck under his nails. Or worse, the clawing of his throat as they sat across from each other at dinner—the way he didn't even smile when Rin announced to his parents that his soulmate mark had appeared while his mother cried out in joy.

In fact, Sae didn’t talk to him for the rest of his visit. He remembers that hurt the most.

The name had haunted him for all the remaining years of his life—a forced memory that he wished he could forget. There came with it a feeling of loneliness that crushed him despite the proof on his pinky that there was another soul wandering the earth that would fix him.

He refused to believe it.

Only revenge would fix him. Only proving himself better would heal the cracks in his heart. Only beating Sae. Sae, Sae, Sae. His brother’s name had been repeated so many times that it was easy to ignore the other burning his skin.

In all those years he found it easy to cast aside his soulmate. To ignore it even if it hurt.

So he wonders why it’s so bad tonight.

He’s done everything he could think of: slathering cooling ointment down his finger to stop the searing, wrapping it in a cast to prevent himself from admiring it for too long, even tying a wish to a piece of bamboo hoping it would disappear.

A finger snaps in front of his face, drawing his attention to his teammates in front of him. Both look equally amused.

“You’re dreaming,” Isagi muses. “You’ve been spacing out all night. Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rin mutters, swatting his teammate’s hand away from him. He had been staring again, longingly eyeing the way the letters danced down his skin. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“None of your business.”

“Yeesh, it’s not good to keep things bottled up, you know?”

“You’re annoying,” Rin glowers before it melts back into indifference. “I’m fine,” he reiterates.

Isagi seems unconvinced, as he usually is when Rin is being mysteriously vague about what’s on his mind. He and Bachira share a tentative glance before sighing and shaking their heads.

“Well… okay,” he finally yields. “We’re going to get some snacks before the fireworks start. If you’re going to sulk then at least stay put and do it here so we can find you again.”

“Yeah,” Rin grumbles, already making an escape plan. “Whatever. Will do.”

As soon as the boys are out of sight, he turns heel and hurries away. The crowd is driving him crazy and he needs somewhere quiet so he can stare at his hands until his eyes are dry.

He comes to a pond situated just outside of the festival grounds, deep water glimmering under the moon and the passing lanterns.

Plopping down on the bench, he hunches over onto his knees with his elbows and takes a deep breath. It instead comes shallow, as if someone has just punched him in the gut. 

It’s then that he realizes he’s not alone.

Your yukata is muddy, fabric soaked and dripping at the sleeves though you don’t seem to care or even notice. You look frustrated for some reason, lip curled into a concentrated frown while you plunge your hands into the mud around the edge of the water.

Away from the crowds of people, he can hear the summer song of cicadas chirping all around. Your hands dip in and out of the water, quiet splashes filling the rest of the silence on top of the distant buzz of children laughing.

It’s just you and him. Something primal inside of him rages, pounding against his chest until it feels like he’s suffocating.

Run. Run. Run.

His legs jerk, urging him to stand up and leave, but he feels glued down to the bench—tethered where he sits and forced to watch you repeatedly sink your hands into the muddy waters.

No more than five minutes must pass as you both ignore each other, yet it feels like an eternity stretches by. 

Finally, you pipe up.

“You’re scaring them,” you tell him plainly.

His head whips in your direction at your voice, soft and careful. His teal eyes narrow at you. “Huh?”

Your frown deepens, turning to look at him with your hands still submerged. “The frogs.”

“Come again?”

“Your vibes. It’s scaring the frogs away.”

His eye twitches.

“Ever consider that you’re just dogshit at catching them?”

“Excuse me?”

“And look at you, making a total mess of yourself. Don’t you care that you have to go home looking like that?” He presses, leering at you like an insect he’s about to crush under his heel. You simply stare at him, expression blank.

Huffing, you tear away from him and sink your hands beneath the mud. “No. I don’t.”

He watches in silence as you sift around for a moment before pulling your hands up, a smile slowly morphing into your face.

“I got one…” You breathe, looking more elated than he thinks you should. “I really caught one.”

“First time?” He quips sarcastically. A part of him wonders why he hasn’t gotten up and left you altogether yet.

“Cut me some slack,” you complain, eyeing him from the side again. You gently run a finger along the back of the frog, trying not to scare it away. “I haven’t done this in forever.”

“Clearly.”

You snort. “Yeah. Clearly.”

Rin looks at you quizzically, puzzled at your sudden change in demeanor. You seem… softer. Less agitated, at the very least. You’re gazing at the frog adoringly, as if it had somehow solved all of your problems and was dragging you into another world.

Any retort he had ready to shoot at you dies in his mouth. The anger rising in his chest extinguishes in the blink of an eye, and a deep hush settles over you as he watches in curiosity.

For a moment, the universe goes quiet. He’s gotten so used to having everything on his mind all at once that the silence is almost unnerving.

He once believed that his world would end with an injury that never healed quite right, or when he was too old for any team to want him.

He once believed that his world would end when he could no longer imagine the feel of a ball between his palms.

He once believed that his world would end the day he couldn’t play football anymore—that the only thing that would ever kill him was if the chance of standing alongside his brother died with him.

But he was wrong.

Itoshi Rin’s world ends with the bellow of a firework.

In a few years, he would think of this stretch of a few seconds fondly. He would squeeze you a little tighter with his chin resting on your shoulder, staring up at a colourful sky. He would think it was poetic, in a way, that you were the one who painted his world in the same hues of shimmering gold.

Rin remembers, though, that only one thought had crossed his mind.

I’m so screwed.

He can see every fine detail of your face, illuminated in all the colours of the rainbow. And he can’t help but think you are the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He can trace each intricate curve of your nose to your chin to the surprised parting of your lips; the way your lashes flutter as you blink rapidly, tensed from the sudden explosion.

The light fades faster than it appeared, yet it feels like a millennium has passed. The reverbing echo of the firework crackles across the sky, thundering in his ears so loud that he can feel it pounding in his chest.

(Or is that his heart? He can’t tell. He feels dizzy.)

Darkness envelops your bodies again, save for the dim glow of distant lanterns. Every part of you is seared into his memory, a floating image when he blinks.

The frog leaps from your hands back into the water, leaving nothing but ripples behind.

You stay there with your hands outstretched, looking lonely under the dark sky. Another one goes off above your heads, signalling the start of the display.

“There you are, Rin!” Bachira and Isagi come rushing over from the path, excited smiles and mirth bubbling in their laughs as they approach. “We thought you went home without us already!”

Rin slowly blinks out of his reverie. For a second, he glances in your direction again just to catch your eyes. 

“I almost did,” he grumbles, forcing himself not to stare.

“Fireworks are starting!” Isagi yanks Rin to his feet and begins dragging him away before he can even protest.

Without turning around, he can feel the weight of your eyes in the back of his head. There’s an unfamiliar ache in his chest, and the name etched down his pinky burns infinitely hot.

Later at home, he stares at the spot where Sae used to sit back when he still came to Japan for anything other than to take a new passport photo.

“My soulmate’s name showed up,” he had mumbled that night to break the tense silence. It was strange that he still felt like he owed his brother that much—to make his visit as normal as possible despite having his heart carved open.

Sae only looked at him blankly, spoon halting just above his bowl. He was eerily still, quietly deciding how to react. Then,

“Good for you,” he said. And nothing more.

Rin squeezes his eyes shut and he feels warmth rolling down his cheeks. He quickly wipes the tears away, pretending as if they never existed.

He spends the rest of the night trying to forget your face.

(And the next year trying to recreate it in his dreams.)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2019

Rin makes it another 275 days before he finally remembers every piece of the puzzle that is your existence.

He saw you in his sleep. The back of your head, anyway.

You were sitting in his favourite café, at the table he claimed for himself right by the window. You ordered a coffee but let it sit for so long that the ice melted. Then, you wiped up the condensation rolling down the frosty glass with your finger.

Rin watched you from afar, observing you the way he wished he did last summer.

Maybe then he could have dived deep into the recesses of his brain to remember why exactly you struck him so. But there he was, stuck watching the back of your head as you gazed out the window.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Your fingers drummed mindlessly against the wooden table, reciting a rhythm just slightly louder than the pounding of his own heart. 

“Can you leave me alone?” He finally called out, hoping it would stop your incessant beating.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“You’re annoying me,” he hissed. Annoying for disturbing his peace and quiet. Annoying for plaguing his dreams even after all these days.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Seriously,” he grunted, standing up from his seat so fast that the chair scraped horribly against the wooden floor. Still, you didn’t pay him any mind, instead more interested in the faceless people walking by. “Knock it off!”

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

He bit the inside of his cheek in hesitation, the itch in the back of his mind ever present. “What’s your name?”

Silence.

You finally turned his way. Slowly. Agonizingly slow.  And Rin was right—you were still so beautiful, 275 days later.

Grinning at him big and bright, you almost seemed to collapse in on yourself with joy. Like a star about to implode, or maybe more akin to a firework.

Either way, his breath was stolen from him.

You silently mouthed your name, making sure he saw every vowel and accentuated syllable. Warmth flooded him in every way—probably brought on by the racing of his heart.

It was impossible that his soulmate was someone like this. Someone whose smile looked like it could heal even the deepest wounds.

You grabbed his attention again with a big wave of the arms, and he watched in anticipation.

“You’re—”

Rin followed your mouth as you sounded out the words without a voice.

“—smiling!”

He reached up to run his fingers along his bottom lip. And you were right, he realized, as he traced it midway up his cheek.

(When did he start smiling?)

(Why?)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Rin thinks about you just as much in the waking world as he does in his dreams.

It’s spring, though snow is still settled over the eaves of homes that he passes on the way to the grocery store. Apparently the winter cold is supposed to be especially long and bitter this year, permeating until mid-May.

He stares at his feet as they mark the virgin snow, decorating his sneakers white and making his feet cold.

Did you walk through the same snow this morning?

Then, when he’s going through the motion of smelling the bottom of pineapples at the store:

Do you like pineapple? What if you’re allergic?

(He shakes his head and puts them away. He suddenly isn’t craving it.)

His obsession with you has only intensified as the year has gone on. If you ever peered into his mind, he would receive a well-deserved slap across the face.

The soulmate mark engraved down his pinky has never bothered him so badly.

It’s like you’re constantly with him—a ghost haunting him, or perhaps more like a curse. Thinking about you takes up unnecessary space in his head. Space that should be dedicated to football, and football only.

He's about to go home so he can make a list outlining the ways he can forget about you.

(Ironic, he knows, but in all honesty he already exhausted all of his options from his first list.)

But then he comes to a stop outside of his favourite café. It looks the same, even has the same advertisements plastered in the window as the last time he was here.

He hesitates at the door, but when he walks in it smells the same. It's decorated the same. Not a single table is out of place.

He walks up to his regular spot, runs his fingers along the wood where he remembers you tapping in his dream.

There's no sign of your existence here.

Rin shakes his head in annoyance, cursing himself out in his head because he was stupid enough to think he would run into you here.

Then disappointment floods his body, like a dam had been released in his chest and it's flowing unstoppably to every piece of him.

(Wait, why is he disappointed? He really needs to take a nap.)

He runs his hand through his hair as a nervous reflex, simultaneously relieved and irritated that you're nowhere to be seen.

It takes him a minute to recollect himself, to realize that he probably looks like a crazy person just standing beside an empty table like a lost child who doesn't know where to go, and decides to just go home.

He pulls into the line to get a drink for his walk home when—

"Thanks!"

His heart drops.

You waltz out of the back, tying your apron around your waist as you exchange spots in the break room with one of your coworkers.

Rin is about to die, seriously. You must be new here, since he's been to this café more times than he can count and he's never seen you before. Or was it that he was specifically looking out for you this time?

Whatever the reason, he's dumbfounded.

“Hey,” your acknowledgment makes him freeze in his spot. “Frog guy?”

He looks at you stupidly, rubbing his eyes like a cartoon character as if he’s imagining you standing right in front of him.

His gaze drifts down to your name tag, fresh and newly printed with white marker. Signed at the end is a little flower, petals swirled into tiny hearts.

Your existence before him is undeniable.

"Um. Yeah," he sputters in disbelief.

"I..." You clear your throat, looking as bewildered as he feels. "I didn't think I'd see you again."

'You're my soulmate. Of course we'd run into each other,' he thinks to himself. Out loud, though:

"Yeah. Me neither."

The person behind him in line coughs quietly, impatiently tapping their foot. Rin takes the hint and quietly tells you what he wants. You lean in across the counter to hear him better, and his face grows warm.

Once you fill in the boxes on the cup, you place it down and move it to the side for someone to fill. It catches his eye immediately.

Itoshi Rin is scribbled neatly down the side of his cup.

“How did you...?”

You awkwardly shift in your spot, evidently embarrassed as you fiddle with the strings of your apron. Then, with your own hands.

“W-Well…”

His eyes dare to drop down to where your thumb is nervously slathering up and down the name on your pinky.

“Oh.”

"Sorry, I just figured—"

"It's fine," he interrupts. Your mouth snaps shut.

Tense silence stretches thin in the air, ready to shatter at any moment. But for some reason, he feels as though he's choking on nothing.

You fumble over the emptiness, quickly snatching up the cup to make his drink yourself after deciding it's too awkward to just stand there.

He watches you in a daze, half shaken and half in awe. Never in a million years would he have thought a dream would lead him back to you.

When you turn back around with a full cup, you look equally stunned. 

“Itoshi—”

“Rin. It’s just Rin.”

You look at him in surprise, lashes fluttering rapidly as you let it sink in.

It's not your fault. You don't know that it's a sore spot that he just so happens to share the same last name with the person he despises most in the world.

It's not your fault that he has a quick temper and his voice raises slightly, enough to make you flinch back just a tiny bit.

And it's definitely not your fault that it stings so much—that he had expected you to speak to him as if you'd already known him for a lifetime and not as if you were just two strangers looking at each other from across a bar counter.

“O-Okay," you take a deep breath, cheeks puffed out and expression unreadable.

You slide the cup across the counter and he catches it in his hand.

He debates whether or not he should say more, like apologize for snapping at you. But then someone calls you by your name, and the way it rolls so beautifully off their tongue catches him off guard.

"Sorry. See you, Rin," you smile sweetly. Maybe a little awkwardly, a small step toward the one he dreamed about. And his heart is set in motion.

Rin decides that today won't be the day.

Another day, he'll be brave enough to crack a joke so dry that you try and scrub his name off your skin. And another day, he will ask for your number because, yeah, you might be the most alluring person he's ever met.

As he turns to take his leave after just staring at the spot you were standing in for a solid few seconds, he can hear some of the other baristas clamouring for you.

He doesn't want to look. Really, honestly, he doesn't. 

But he does anyway.

It's just a quick glance over his shoulder—nothing more than a fleeting moment as he takes the chance to look at you one more time.

Those two seconds is all it takes for him to realize just how much trouble he's in.

You're laughing big and toothy, waving your hand in front of your face dismissively as your coworkers poke fun at how flustered you are. Then your hands are clasped over your stomach and you've doubled down a little in your awkward fit.

His heart has never beat so loud in his own ears.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Itoshi Rin used to smile just for the sake of smiling, once upon a time.

He had aunties who would pinch him by the cheek and fawn over him, cooing about how he looked just like his mother. How his face would cherub and the apples of his cheeks were bright red. Even when he grew out of his baby face, people would tell him how wonderful his smile was.

Sae rarely ever smiled, so it was something exclusive. He never felt like he was standing in his shadow. It was special—the kind of praise only one Itoshi would know.

Rin has forgotten how to smile like that.

He smiles to be polite to his family, if ever. Even then, it's not like he owes them that much. At some point, it became too much effort. And he had no reason to do it.

It was always a tiny thought bothering him in the back of his mind:

I'll never meet my soulmate if I'm always scowling like this.

He thought that was what he wanted, anyway. He wouldn't need to worry about running into his soulmate if no one ever looked his way. If everyone feared him enough not to spare him a second glance.

He doubts everything he ever thought as he sits on the edge of his bed staring at his desk.

It's lit up by a single lamp, shining down on his empty coffee cup like a spotlight opened up by the heavens themselves.

Your phone number is written just below his name.

Rin had almost tossed it into the trash without a second thought earlier in the day. He would have, if it weren't for the loose dog that blitzed by him and made him drop it.

Fate just loves to mess with him.

He picked it up and his thumb had stopped over the number. It was written so small, as if you had wanted him to miss it. Or perhaps you wanted to test destiny yourself—to see if the planets would align and he would discover your seven digits there for him to find.

And now he's home. He's been home, just looking. Contemplating. Stressing.

He migrates from the edge of the bed and settles into his desk chair. Then he gets up, moves back to the bed, and flops down. An endless cycle, back and forth, pushing and pulling.

Rin plops down onto his desk seat and sighs in frustration, ruffling his hair around before his forehead slams into the table.

Every part of his mind screams at him to stop. To toss the cup away and forget today ever happened. His head raises from his arms and he stares at the set of numbers illuminated on the paper, taunting him. 

Finally, he exhales through his nose, sitting up straight and reaching for the cup to toss. His fingers delicately brush along your phone number.

“So dumb…” He huffs, eventually finding his phone instead and opening his contacts.

It’s nearly midnight. He tries to imagine your face as you wait by your phone for a message from him, that stupidly hopeful glimmer in your eyes, and he feels sick to his stomach as he sends it.

Rin: hey. it’s rin.

He throws his phone down on the desk again, screen down so he can’t cringe at himself. A few minutes pass in complete silence as he sulks.

He considers that you may have gone to bed already, or you were offended by the fact that he ignored your offer to connect all day and instantly blocked him. Maybe you thought he never saw your number at all.

Then his phone buzzes. His body moves on autopilot, snatching it up faster than he can realize what he’s doing. He’s halfway through the embarrassing thought that he just immediately read your message after you sent it as your text sinks in.

Unknown: hi! it’s great to hear from you ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

Unknown: i was starting to think you were never gonna text lol

Rin: i wasn’t

He chews his lip for a moment before quickly following up:

Rin: but i changed my mind. just cause.

Unknown: hahaha got it got it. ‘just cause’ (˘◡˘)

Unknown: rin

Unknown: wait nvm

Unknown: whatever

Unknown: rin

Rin: what

Unknown: let’s get coffee ^ ^

He stares at the screen in disbelief, watching the typing bubble pop up and disappear again and again. He can imagine again what kind of smile you must have on your face right now, or maybe you look flustered, or maybe this all means nothing to you at all and this is your way of being polite.

Regardless of the reason, he eventually types out his response.

Rin: ok

Christ, he’s so tepid.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2020

He comes to memorize every part of you, like how the sun kisses the horizon and the moon knows the tides.

Intimately, almost—if he didn’t overthink the way your touch lingered on him he could easily ignore the way it made his heart pound in his ears.

Rin learns the feeling of your fingers against his skin as you compress an ice pack to his knee. He knows your laugh—can pick apart sarcasm from genuine cheer unlike most other people he encounters. He’s never been good at reading people yet for some reason you’ve become an open book for him. 

It’s not fair that you’ve ensnared him this way, that he can’t seem to run from you (because his favourite coffee is from your café and he can’t be bothered to find a new place). That he finds himself instinctively reaching over to his phone when he can’t sleep (he has to make sure his alarms are on, might as well text you goodnight while he’s at it). And you’ve become annoyingly comfortable (he doesn’t have an excuse for this one—your lap is just conveniently a very nice place to rest his head).

He must be an open book, too.

At some point he probably stopped trying to hide his growing feelings for you, though you either didn’t notice his sudden shift or you didn’t care.

Vulnerability has never been a part of Rin, even before Itoshi Sae ruined his life.

He despises how you so easily pry him apart, skinning him alive with your hand lathering down his chest as you laugh. 

Still, he’s grown accustomed to your fingers stringing through his hair, to the way your head tilts when he explains football plays to you, to the obvious way you fluster when he attempts (poorly) at flirting with you.

He’s gotten especially fond of the way you meet him at the end of his practices with such sweet, wandering hands—pushing the hair stuck to his forehead from sweat away from his eyes; using a towel to wipe up his neck; the squeeze you give his palms as you examine them to see if there are any new cuts and bruises.

Usually, he’s the epitome of confidence in his plays. Today, however, his cheeks burn as you approach him with the same honeyed smile.

“My shots were shoddy,” he admits before you can even get a word out. You only raise a brow, hands faltering in front of you. “That was lame.”

“I think you’re good.”

“Good,” he frowns. “But not great?”

“The greatest,” you quickly correct yourself, smiling at his cravings for praise. You’re armed with a fresh towel like you always are, reaching up to clean his face as if it’s the only thing you were born to do.

He relishes in your gentle touch, peering at you through his lashes while you prattle on about how amazing he was even though he missed half of his shots.

You were so blindly supportive, it sickens him. 

Not because he felt you were being disingenuous, but because he’s not deserving of your praise. 

For the first time in a long time, it feels as though his soul is disconnected from his body. He used to walk the earth this way—uninterested in his surroundings and obsessed with only one thing.

Itoshi Sae. Itoshi Sae. Itoshi Sae.

Suddenly, he’s thirteen again and gasping for air; screaming into his pillow and trashing their shared awards until his mother comes rushing in to stop him. He’s alone in a field, abandoned and crushed.

It’s not like he’d never lost before, even in front of you. Loss was just a part of football as much as he hated it.

But your praise only makes his stomach turn, because he knows you mean it.

You truly do believe he’s the best, when really he’s been futile in his attempts to catch up with the big brother he admired so much as a kid.

“Stop,” he gently interrupts.

Rin tries to use his hair to hide the wetness of his eyes, with little success. You can see right through him, unfortunately. It’s a talent he wishes you didn’t have.

“Rin?” You say softly, reaching up to brush the hair out of the way. He doesn’t try and back up or swat your hand away, instead letting you see his miserable expression. You sigh quietly, looking more exasperated than surprised.

“Sorry,” he mutters halfheartedly.

You shake your head. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Shame boils in his stomach at your reassurance. There is something to apologize for. Here you are, supporting him with all your heart, and all he can think about is his stupid brother. How he’ll never catch up. How he’ll never be good enough.

Doesn’t your kindness warrant his attention at the very least?

“Come on,” you tug at his hand. “Let’s get you a pick-me-up.”

Rin abides silently, body following yours off the field and onto the streets though his mind has floated off elsewhere.

He tries to count how many steps you take in between the field and the destination, but loses count somewhere around three hundred. Then he moves on to counting the hairs on the back of your head. He loses count at one hundred. Eventually, he gives up and opts for staring at your conjoined hands while he lags behind.

When you come to a halt, he nearly bumps into your back.

The ringing in his ears stops as he blinks at his surroundings. Waves crash against the shore of the sandbank, singing the song of the ocean. It had been so long since Rin walked down this stretch of the shore, he almost forgot what the sea looked like.

“Wait here,” you urge as you hold him by the shoulders then disappear around the corner.

He collapses at the wall separating land from sea, swinging his legs under the railings to sit comfortably as he remembers doing when he was a kid. His gym bag is abandoned behind him, cleats and all.

When you return, you shove a popsicle into his hand.

He’s confused at first, just looking absently at the packaging. It must be for a concerning amount of time, because you eventually pipe up.

“Do you need me to open it for you?”

Rin glares at you and your teasing smile. Carefully, he unpackages the treat and pops it in his mouth.

Sweetness melts over his tongue and he exhales sharply through his nose. You watch him in amusement with your own treat stuck in your mouth.

Silence engulfs you, eating Rin from the inside out until he feels ill. He holds his half-eaten popsicle in front of him, watching it melt down his hand.

You stare at him for a second before nudging him lightly with your elbow.

“I was being serious. You were really good. I can’t even imagine playing like you do.”

Rin’s stomach turns. The last thing he wants is your pity.

“You don’t have to be so nice,” he mumbles, resting his chin on the railing. “42 percent.”

“42 percent?” You echo, peering over the railing to get a better look at his face.

“The percent of shots I made today.”

“Come on,” you urge gently. “Aren’t you being too hard on yourself?”

“If I’m not hard on myself, I’ll never—” he stops, choking lightly on his spit. When you don’t interrupt, he shoves the popsicle back in his mouth. “Whatever. You wouldn't get it.”

It’s quiet again, save for the crashing of waves upon rock. Rin thinks for a moment that maybe he had gone too far, or that his little meltdown had freaked you out.

But when he finally dares to look at you again, you’re smiling.

“Maybe not,” you admit with a whisper. “But I do know this…” You reach over and cup his cheek with your free hand, thumb sweeping the expanse of his cheek soothingly. “There is no one—and I mean no one—who works harder than you do.”

He swallows thickly, subconsciously nudging his face a little further into your palm.

“You deserve to be a little kinder to yourself.”

The way his heart catches in his throat is strange. He can’t describe it. The warmth in his belly is foreign, but it’s pleasant.

For the first time in the year he’s gotten to know you, the thought crosses his mind:

I think I’m in love with you.

Rin’s mouth opens with the idea, but he forces it shut just as fast.

Fear grips his lungs and squeezes, stealing his air and forcing him to pull away from your touch.

“Okay,” he breathes in resignation.

You seem stunned by his sudden retreat, smile faltering ever so slightly. But you recover quickly, hugging yourself as you slouch over the railing.

Conversation moves on just like that. He appreciated that about you, too. He never had to dwell.

It feels nice, everything about this; to have his legs dangling over the edge of the cement, feet barely ghosting over the surface of the water; to have a popsicle melting between his teeth while he listens to you talk.

For some reason, it feels as though he’s reclaiming lost time, reliving a moment he thought he would never have again.

When he checks his popsicle stick, it tells him he’s a winner for the first time since he was thirteen.

(He finally allows himself to believe it when your knee gently knocks into his.)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2021

“Frog cotton candy?”

“Frog shaped cotton candy,” Rin corrects, peering around the giant fluff of candy to look at you quizzically.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “But why?”

He grumbles quietly, cheeks a soft shade of pink as he shoves the treat into your hands.

“I thought you’d like it. Nevermind,” he deadpans, turning around to toss it into the garbage.

Your laugh crescendos and he feels his heart squeeze with affection. When your hand stops him by the forearm, he thinks he might explode.

“It’s cute.”

You pick apart the floss ruthlessly with your fingers, and he watches almost in a trance—hypnotized by just your existence.

(When you finally pop the sugar into your mouth, he imagines it melting on his own tongue. The thought makes him unbearably warm and he forces it away.)

His fascination with you doesn't end there.

There's a certain charm to you that he can't understand—something that draws him in, tantalizing but terrifying at the same time.

He can't help the way he watches in a daze, the way you've ensnared all his attention and taken up the space in his mind. 

Rin has never been good at being kind, but here he is.

Here he is, bringing you cotton candy because he thought it was stupid but cute.

Here he is, rolling up the sleeves of your yukata with a gentle scolding when you rush over to catch goldfish.

And here he is, letting you cling to his arm as if he's the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.

He really, really hates it—how mushy you make his brain feel.

He's halfway through re-rolling your sleeves with a half-hearted scowl on his face when you stop him, hand pressed to his forearm.

“Listen, Rin.”

“Hm?” He leans down so that he can peer at your face hidden behind your almost nonexistent candy floss.

“I have to show you something.”

Rin stops dead in his tracks, raising a brow as he fully turns toward you. “What is it?”

“Can you close your eyes for me?”

His heart does a somersault in his chest. “You’re not doing anything weird, are you?”

“Who do you think I am?” You sputter.

He lets out a long sigh before complying, squeezing his eyes shut. After a long silence, he considers peeking a little bit.

That is, until he feels your breath gently fanning over his parted lips.

Nearly leaping back, he wills himself to stay grounded and slowly slides his hands up your arms until he gets to your shoulders. As he imagined, your body is impossibly close to his.

It takes every bit of concentration he has not to waver. If he really tries, he can focus on how your breath smells sweet of candy. How your hair blows softly with the summer breeze, tickling his cheeks. How you smell. How you breathe.

(Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His heart is about to beat out of his chest. Is that okay?)

You tense up in his hold and suddenly you’re retreating from him, swiftly pulling out of his arms. Just as he’s about to ask you what happened, there’s a piece of candy shoved into his mouth.

“You wanted to try it, didn’t you?” You ask rather breathlessly. He opens his eyes, looking at you curiously.

Rin has never seen this expression on you before, lips pulled tight in embarrassment and pupils blown. You look more like a wild animal caught in a cage than someone who just made a move on him.

He gingerly takes the empty paper cone from your hands and folds it up, no longer able to meet your gaze lest he explode on the spot.

“Yeah,” he says softly, shuffling over to dump it into a bin. “Thanks.”

When he turns around to look at you again, his breath gets caught in his throat.

Why are you laughing?

You giggle into your palm, hiding your gleeful smile from him as you double over slightly.

“Your face is all red!” You holler.

He grunts in embarrassment, using the back of his hand to hide his own face. “Shut the hell up,” he spits.

“It’s almost like you wanted me to kiss you!”

“Oh my god, please drop it.”

“No way! I’ve never seen you look like that before!”

(‘Speak for yourself,’ he thinks.)

“So what if I did?”

Your laughter halts as if it was swallowed into the pits of your stomach. Slowly unraveling to stand up straight, he sees another expression he’s never been able to imagine on you, but he can’t quite place it.

“Did what?” You murmur.

“Want you to kiss me.”

Your face is warm under the glow of lanterns, eyes shimmering with the overhead lights. Rin watches your mouth open and close repeatedly as you try and formulate some sort of response.

A firework explodes atop of you, and he wonders if it just saved you.

You seem jarred for only a moment more until you jolt, grabbing him roughly by the arm and giving him a pull.

“I just remembered,” you gasp. “I actually did have something to show you!”

Rin doesn’t get a word in before you’re dragging him along by the arm. With each boom of an explosion, your footsteps pick up, building into a full blown sprint out of the festival grounds and through the thicket.

You tug him along, guiding him by the hand through the winding path of trees and logs. His stamina is better than yours but you’re pushing up the hill despite your huffing and puffing—it makes him laugh with you.

When you break free of the forest, Rin’s eyes focus on a field of plush grass and buttercups.

You let go of his hand, flinging yourself forward and spinning on your heel to exaggerate how wide the opening is with your arms.

“Isn’t it great?” You shout over the fireworks. “Away from the crowd!”

He rushes up to you so that you can stop yelling, invading your personal space until you can hear him just at his normal volume.

“It’s perfect,” he tells you earnestly.

You grin up at him widely before pulling him along to the edge of the clearing. You plop down together, eyes glued to the sky as the fireworks rage on.

Rin only lasts a few seconds before his eyes drift to the side, trying to drink in your expression. It’s become a habit of his to try and imprint your very existence into his brain.

Against his better judgment, his hand creeps toward yours until your fingers are overlapped.

Thankfully, you don’t use the opportunity to tease him about it, instead shifting a little closer until you’re practically burrowed into his side. If it were anyone else, he would have shoved them away.

(When did he stop trying to push you away?)

When your pinkies slowly close together, he feels as if he can’t breathe properly.

Mark-to-mark, it’s as though he is full of all the love he’s ever felt for you from every life—past or future. Like there’s a love that exists within him that transcends lifetimes, if it were even possible.

If he were to peer into another dimension, would you still be together like this? Would you be plucking buttercups and mindlessly twirling them between your fingers? Would he be itching to envelop you in his arms just to devour you?

His thoughts cease when you take a deep breath.

“I used to come here alone,” you admit.

“No one took you?” He asks. Your gaze is piercing the night sky, never leaving the show. He can see the bloom of colours in them.

“Not since I was little, but I always loved it here.”

The question burns hot in Rin’s mind: even if it was a little lonely sometimes?

He remembers back to the night that he first saw you, with your hands dipping into the murky waters of a frog pond and an air of desolation surrounding you. Then he remembers how he couldn’t sleep that night. Not with the image of you crouching there alone burned into his memory.

“Did you know this festival is a celebration of love?” He suddenly asks.

Oh what the fuck? Oh, god. Why did he say that?

That was so lukewarm of him. So stupid. So pointless and lame.

He just wanted something to say to you, something that would make him stop thinking about how you might have been alone for all that time before you knew him.

The silence burns between you, tense and awkward until he starts stuttering out something else to fill the void. But then you look at him, slow and intrigued and so damn amused that he can feel heat rising to the tips of his ears.

“I had no idea.”

There’s a longing in your expression that tells a different story. A twitch of your pinky against his that gives away your blatant lie.

And, damnit. Here he is again, four years later under the same stars. Under the same fireworks. Only this time, he’s able to see your face even closer as it lights up a million different colours—teal like his eyes; rose like his cheeks; golden like the heart he’s tried so hard to protect.

Four years later and he still thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen: pinkies interlocked, sheepish smile on your face, an undeniable shake in your voice that means you have more that you’re too nervous to say.

For a moment he considers finally letting go of all the things keeping him bolted and chained where he stands, swallowing the key to the cage surrounding his fragile, thumping heart. And for that fleeting second, he feels as though he’s the bravest man alive—that nothing could stop him even if you were to turn away and snub him out with the heel of your foot.

But how could he open his mouth and tell you anything when all he feels is the sick twisting of his stomach, the daunting glare of the older brother he adored so much, and the coldness of snow soaking his clothes as he sits in a field and cries?

There’s a burning, raging fire within him. Something primal and afraid and unchanging despite how much he wants to fall into your arms the way your shared etchings say he should.

It screams at him: run away. Run. Run. Run. This will only end in hurt.

He’s too fucked up. Too messed in the head and too quick to anger because he’s actually soft at heart, easy to betray—

“Rin.”

Your hand swiftly captures his face and he’s dragged unceremoniously out of his reverie.

Of course you would be able to pick out his turmoil by expression alone. By the droop of his lips into a frown—not the annoyed one he would flash his teammates, or the grimace he would scare children away with. The kind that’s sad and slow and timid, like an animal caught in a net.

“I’m really happy that we’re friends.”

“Friends?” He breathes, half confused and half incredulous.

Deep down he knows that it’s an attempt to comfort him without being too sappy. Maybe you can sense it somewhere in your soul that he would probably break down and sob if you were to make him feel any more vulnerable than he already is with you. It’s an effort to take away whatever guilt he feels and give him a chance to relax.

However, he can see a different tale in your eyes.

Loneliness as empty as the sky on a cloudy night. A yearning for more, for someone, for him, to fill the gap. I’m tired of waiting. That’s all he can read beneath the sea of colour exploding in your irises.

It only makes him feel worse, but he allows himself to be lied to anyway if only to feel the warmth of your skin against his just a bit longer.

“Yeah.”

Your pinky twitches again. He can feel the brush of your name against his, the grate of your matching soul marks. Your eyes tear away from his and are glued to the infinite sky above once more. To the stars you know are there but are covered by smoke and fire.

Rin only stares at you. He can’t focus on the explosions of fireworks anymore, not when you’re right in front of him looking so perfect. His summer treasure.

“Yeah?”

He knows he sounds dumb, repeating everything like an oaf who can’t fathom what’s being said. You giggle and it floors him.

“Just being able to stand here with you—” you glance at him again, only for a second. He can see the exhaustion in that moment, but he’s too selfish to pry. “—I think I’m the luckiest person alive.”

“Even if…” He swallows harshly. It feels like shrapnel cutting down his throat. “Even if I can’t be more?”

“Even so.”

There’s a pause and you open your mouth to say more, maybe to give him an ultimatum or to elaborate on your feelings, but then you’re interrupted by the end of the display.

Counteless fireworks explode above you in the finale. Rin can hear the awestruck gasps of families down the hill, the distant cries of children and the faint shutter of cameras filling the air.

He realizes then: he’s been smiling. His cheeks hurt from how big it’s gotten. And you’re smiling at him, too.

(The fireworks rage on, but in the end, all he can look at is you.)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2022

Falling in love with Itoshi Rin was one of the most foolish, most wonderful things that could have happened to you.

He was an enigma in and of itself, a mystery of a soulmate who was able to love you wholeheartedly and push you away at the same time.

There were nights where you would stay up wondering why he was your soulmate when it seemed like all he wanted to be was alone. Other times, you fell asleep smiling to yourself knowing that somewhere deep down you both belonged to each other. 

The universe chose you. The universe chose him. It was indisputable, yet you still had doubts.

Tonight is one of those “foolish” nights. It seems as though you have been stood up.

For three hours you’ve waited in the same spot at the gates of the festival, watching families and couples pass by but never the one person you’d wait until the end of the world for. The sun has long since gone to sleep over the horizon and the streets are fully lit up with lanterns for the festivities.

6 pm. That was the time Rin promised he would meet you. In the past, he was always late but at least had the decency to tell you beforehand that you could go ahead without him. Only when you arrived and sat down to wait for him had he finally messaged you.

Rin: gonna be late. see you at 7.

7 pm. That was the rescheduled time. It was when you expected to see him walking up to you in his yukata that you begged him to wear this year, matching adoringly with yours. And at 7 pm you would tell him. You would tell him everything.

For months prior you had practiced almost pathetically so, recited and perfected your speech while staring at your reflection in a mirror. You’d written him a letter, too.

7 pm. You were finally going to thank Rin for everything. For accompanying you to such a silly festival even though you know he loathes it. For meeting you under the stars and the moon and the fireworks time and time again. For bringing life back into a childhood memory that you had long since hated.

7 pm. You were going to tell him thank you. You were going to tell him you loved him, just as it had been written in the stars many years before you were born.

It’s 9 pm, nearing 10 and the start of the fireworks show. He missed the entire night without explanation.

At 9:58 pm, just as you’re about to give up all hope, you finally come face to face with teal eyes and a stupidly handsome face sheen with sweat. It shouldn’t hurt so much, the way he looks at you so dismissively as if he hadn’t blown you off all night. 

“Sorry,” he mutters disingenuously, attempting to brush past you without a second thought. “Let’s go, I’m thirsty.”

He has his gym bag slung over his shoulder and a windbreaker over his uniform. No sign of the yukata you had picked out for him to wear.

You don’t follow him, staring at his back in disbelief. When he realizes you aren’t trailing behind, he turns on his heel and raises a brow in question. “Are you coming?”

“I was waiting for you all night,” you tell him coldly. I was waiting for you all this time and you never showed up. 

He swallows thickly, suddenly overcome by guilt because of your downcast expression. “I know. I lost track of time.”

“Lost track of time?” You scoff incredulously. Your mouth opens as if you have more to say, but you’re interrupted by a bang.

Rin’s eyes flutter closed. He can’t listen to this. He can’t watch.

He knows this all too well. He knew it all along.

The universe was wrong. Itoshi Rin was never cut out to be someone’s soulmate.

“We’re missing it…”

Your back is turned to him but all he can imagine is the terrible expression you must be making right now, twisted in sadness and anger. The worse image is a completely blank face—unfeeling and cold. He doesn’t even want to think about it.

Booms echo in the distance yet all he can focus on is the faint hum in his ears, the horrible churning in his stomach and the fog of guilt clouding his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says so quietly that he’s sure you can’t even hear him under the deep, bellowing explosions over the horizon.

He doesn’t remember the last time he apologized for anything like this. Being cold and aloof was just in his nature. Never before had he felt like it was necessary to be remorseful for the way he is—for how he was made to be.

The slight tremble of your shoulders and the way you use the back of your sleeves to wipe tears from your eyes force the words out of him before he can stop it. He tells you again,

“I’m sorry.”

He weakly attempts to grab you by the arms, holding you from behind so he can make you look at him. You jerk away fast as lightning, knocking him away as you swivel around to glare.

“Why didn’t you come?” You demand. There’s anger shaking in your voice. Rin doesn’t know how to respond to it, not when you’ve always been so understanding and kind. Perhaps he was too cruel for you if he was going to break you this way.

“I got caught up with—”

“With football, right?” You laugh bitterly, taking a generous step back. Hurt pours from every inch of your expression and all it does is make his heart ache.

“Stop,” he suddenly snaps. You flinch at his tone and shrink back, only adding to his guilt. He always had the worst temper. “Don’t be like this. You know it was important,” he explains, gentler this time. Softer, trying to coax you back over.

There’s a beat of complete silence, save for the hollowed explosions in the distance. Rin blinks at you a couple times before his frayed nerves finally calm again. And then he realizes something terrible.

The look in your eyes, the deflation of your shoulders—this is what utter defeat looks like. For a moment deja vu rushes through his blood, bringing him back to a time when he too felt as miserable as you. 

Every year he’s had the opportunity to read your expression: I’m tired of waiting. But he always foolishly assumed you would still wait around for him forever. That your patience would be as infinite as the stars in the sky. That just because he had the privilege of having his name scrawled down your pinky, he would be guaranteed to have you.

It was disgustingly selfish.

Just as he opens his mouth to apologize again, you storm up to him and shove the piece of paper roughly into his chest. With the closed gap, he can clearly see the tears streaming down your face illuminated by warm lanterns.

“Just forget it.”

“Wait—” He catches your wrist as you push past him, stopping you in your tracks again despite your struggle to get away. “Come on, I said I’m sorry!”

“Rin,” you sniffle, voice breaking with just the syllable of his name. It makes him falter. “I’m tired.”

“But—”

“You can’t even spare me one night? Just this one night in the entire year?” You breathe, no longer trying to dance around the subject. “What is it with you? What are you so afraid of?”

Being put in the spotlight never bothered Rin before. It was easy enough to ignore when all his life he was watched carefully. But it’s different with you; you’re the only one looking at him in this moment yet it feels like the weight of a million pairs of eyes at once.

An answer comes quickly to his mind, almost natural. He knows exactly what’s wrong with him.

He’s afraid of being left behind again. Of being hurt. Rin is terrified of love and being loved because he’s too pathetically fragile.

The pieces of his heart are clumsily glued together and he’s scared that even the smallest turbulence would send it shattering into a billion shards again. He doesn’t know how to put himself back together properly anymore. 

Itoshi Sae permanently fucked him up.

Though they were on slightly better terms now, the scars would always haunt him. The simple solution is to shut everyone else out, to protect the weak heart he harbours.

If he told you that, would you understand? Or would you try and claw his name off your skin?

You take his silence as an answer and pry away from him again, holding yourself protectively—guarding yourself from the catastrophe that follows Rin wherever he goes.

“Goodbye, Rin.”

He doesn’t watch you go. 

The nearest bench becomes his temporary home. He could do hundreds of plays in a football game and never tire, but for some reason your disdain has sucked every ounce of energy from his body.

It doesn’t register that he’s still holding the paper you forced into his hands until it crinkles in his hold. He slowly unfolds it revealing ink sloppily smeared across the page.

And then he reads it. Again. And again. And again, until it’s shaking in his hold. Until the dull ache in his heart feels like the pierce of a knife. 

Rin doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s always had one clear goal for his entire life, but now everything is all muddled. Messy, like everything else he touches.

He turns everything into a disaster.

Does he chase after you and risk having his fragile heart broken all over again? Does he risk being left behind or does he close off the gate for that option entirely? He could sit in his cowardice and never change, preserving his heart forever in this moment of time; a polaroid in the slideshow of his mortality.

There’s a familiarity to this all. Perhaps he had lived through this decision a million lives before this. Maybe he would live through it again an infinite amount of times, so long as it was your name etched into his skin.

Was he as messed up in this life as he was in every other?

If he had ruined everything in this life, if he made the wrong choice and drove you away in hatred until you drew your last breath, then maybe he could make it all up to you in the next one.

Or, if that were the case, maybe he was born into this world only to love you—to make up for the millenia where he ran away.

Rin’s legs have never moved so fast. Not in football. Not even from his brother. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel then he would keep chasing you forever, he thinks. Until his wounded heart gave out.

Of all the stupid decisions he’s made in his life, have any of them amounted to anything? He’s going to give it one last try. One more chance to prove to himself that not everything he touches burns to ashes.

“Wait!”

You visibly startle, eyes wide as you turn to see Rin dashing toward you. He doesn’t give you even a moment to ask questions, to wonder why he’s coming back to break your heart again. 

You’re engulfed in a hug faster than you can blink, stumbling back from the force of his body colliding with yours until your sandals get kicked off your feet.

“Rin?” You murmur his name in disbelief, breathless even though you weren’t the one sprinting down the road.

“Just give me one more chance,” he stammers out. You can feel the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders as he holds you and fights for air simultaneously. Your hands twitch at your sides but you remain lifeless in his arms.

He tries again: “Let me prove it to you. Let me prove that it wasn’t some freak accident that led me to you. That my name on your skin is meant to be there.”

“Don’t do this,” you tell him quietly, lips brushing against his ear as you speak. “I don’t want to be loved and feared at the same time.”

“But…” Rin squeezes your body against his, almost desperately. Clinging to what he has ruined. “For once in my life, I want something more.”

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

You hesitantly shift, hands slowly trailing up his back until your body is curling against his. He can trace the outline of your body against his, like a puzzle piece that he was missing slotted perfectly in his grasp.

“I thought my soulmate would only slow me down and break me. I was wrong. I know that now.”

He slowly rocks your bodies back and forth. You pull away until your eyes meet his, red with tears. It’s the messiest he has ever seen you, but his heart refuses to be still. It aches.

Beautiful. It’s the only word he can describe you with. It didn’t matter if you were lit up under the wondrous sky, or handing him coffee in a crowded café, or sobbing in his arms. 

You would only ever be his infinitely beautiful soulmate.

It’s the only constant he would have in this life and every other, even if you were to break his heart. It would be the single greatest achievement in his time, above football, above any of his petty competitions—that your name is etched down his pinky.

It scares him. It thrills him.

With the distant roar of fireworks, he kisses you. And you allow him, hiccuping against his lips as you cry.

You stay like that for a long time, listening to the hollow shockwaves of fireworks exploding miles away. He’s the first to draw back, raking in shallow breaths. You chase him, finding solace against his lips once more but not fully indulging him with another kiss.

“Do you fear me?” You whisper into his mouth.

“More than anything,” he tells you.

“Do you love me?”

After a moment of contemplation, he answers,

“More than anything.”

You nod slowly, awkwardly pulling away from him and taking a step back. It’s your first kiss and you don’t know where you’re supposed to look anymore. Rin stops your nervous shifting with his hand swooping under your chin.

“One year. I promise.” You look at him in confusion, so he continues. “Next year, when the season and my contract are over, I’ll meet you there. At the pond.”

You seem skeptical still, with your brows knitted together and a lost haze in your eyes. He raises his pinky, the one with your name forever grafted into the skin, and offers it to you.

“I pinky promise.”

It’s so ridiculous, wearing his heart on his sleeve with something he learned about on playgrounds when he was a child. A pinky promise shouldn’t mean any more than the words he has already spoken. But for some reason, your eyes light up.

He feels nothing but relief when your pinkies lock together.

“Okay,” you breathe.

“You’ll wait for me?”

“Rin.” His name leaves you in a breathless laugh that makes his world spin. It sounds so tired yet so sweet. “I’ve been waiting all my life.”

“I’m sorry,” he says once more for good measure. You nod. A wordless acceptance.

Itoshi Rin is your soulmate. It’s not like that fact will ever change no matter the time, no matter the distance.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2023

Fate is a funny thing. Soulmates are a funny thing.

The universe threw Rin curveball after curveball, beating him down until he was nothing but a husk heavenly built for one purpose only: beat Sae. Beat Itoshi Sae.

There were times when he would lay awake at night wondering why he was given this life, why he was thrust into hardship and hurt and betrayal. How could something so perfect, something so all-knowing, be so cruel?

For as long as the name had been grafted into his skin, he resented the idea of a soulmate.

He hated the idea that only one person in the world would be his eternal weakness. That one day, one person would hold every piece of his soul in their hands. Even then, his soulmate was the other half of him—his salvation. His downfall.

They would know every inch of his skin. Every bleeding wound of his heart. Every bruise and scar along his legs from cleats and nails and gravel. Having a soulmate meant having every part of him exposed, to be judged and worshiped at the same time.

At your hands, though, he’s certain this is what he was born for—to spend the rest of his days by your side even if you were doing something as mundane as catching frogs together.

“You’re scaring them,” you hiss quietly.

Your fingers sink into the pond and Rin watches your reflections ripple as water fills your palms. Your faces contort and meld into one being. In some ways, it’s a familiar feeling—to have been intertwined with you since his very conception.

“You’re terrible at this.”

“It’s your fault!”

“Right,” he deadpans. “You haven’t caught a single one all night.”

“You were late,” you remind him with a huff, cheeks inflated. “Before you got here I was catching frogs all night. Coincidence?”

Rin makes another noise, something akin to a snort. But he doesn’t acknowledge your statement, instead reaching over to gingerly roll the sleeves of your yukata up to your elbows.

“Are you always so sloppy? Your sleeves are getting all wet.”

You glare at him from the side, delivering a deadly warning. “Are you always such a pain in the ass?”

“I get it, I get it. I said I was sorry for being late. Nii-chan really wanted to try that new ice cream place downtown.”

Your gaze drifts to him in the shimmering reflection, watching his smile soften at the mention of his big brother. It was wonderful that they were trying to patch things up.

Sae had decided to come home after all, promising Rin that they would play together again once they both took a well deserved break.

You could tell that Rin was trying his best not to make a big deal out of it, but the way he cried into your shoulder later that night said it all.

“I feel bad having you come all the way out here just to see me. Your brother is back in Japan isn’t he?”

“Yeah. And he wants to meet you.”

You nearly fall over. “What?”

“Please don’t look so starstruck about that. I feel sick.”

Laughing, you recentre yourself, sitting back on your heels with your hands on your knees. “Sorry, sorry! It’s not that…”

Rin raises a brow. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s just—” you fumble, cheeks burning hot at the idea of being introduced to Rin’s family after all these years. Formally, as his partner. His soulmate. The name they had all known since he was thirteen. “What would I even say to him?”

He looks at you in bewilderment. Then, he snickers, only laughing harder when you smack his arm.

“Don’t worry about that,” he assures, reaching out to pat the top of your head. “Just be yourself. My family will love you.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, studying your reflections in the water with a soft smile. You’re staring right back at yourself, but Rin is only looking at you.

“I haven’t done anything special.”

“You lit up my world,” you laugh, turning back up to look at him properly. You make a mini explosion with your hands. “Boom! Like that. A firework.”

“You’re too corny,” he murmurs in embarrassment, turning his head away to hide his flushed face. “Can’t you explain it like a normal person?”

“No can do,” you tell him, voice gentler this time. After a pause, you shuffle your sandals around in the mud and take a deep breath. “If you want me to be totally serious…”

You lunge over and tackle him into your arms. He nearly loses his balance holding the both of you upright, stumbling back on his heels before he catches your waist. You don’t seem to share the sentiment of staying pristine, knees digging into the dirt as you squeeze him tighter.

Rin feels his heart catch in his throat the same way you’ve made it for the last six years.

“Thank you. For letting me love you. For being my soulmate.”

His hand is automatically in your hair, scratching your scalp as he smiles into your shoulder.

“I’m sure I gave you nothing but a hard time,” he grumbles.

“But I still love you.”

“Even though you had to wait?”

“Even so.”

“And that I’m a pain in the ass?”

“Even then, I do.”

Rin burrows himself into your neck, hiding his face again. It does a poor job at masking the kind of expression he’s making, though, considering how warm his skin is.

“What if I’m not good enough?”

He feels terrible—guilty that he needs to keep having this conversation with you. But you always comfort him the same way. He hopes you always will.

Drawing his head up with your muddy hands, you dirty his cheeks just to get a glimpse of him. You murmur a half-hearted sorry for making a mess.

Then you’re kissing him.

“I’ll be here to remind you how much I cherish you.”

You nip his bottom lip and he opens wider. You whisper into his mouth,

“And how happy I am that Itoshi Rin was born into this world.”

Itoshi Rin, broken. He who thought that he could never be put back together.

Itoshi Rin, vengeful. He who believed the only happiness that existed for him in this world was to surpass his brother.

Itoshi Rin, who did not believe in his soulmate while staring right at them. And Itoshi Rin, who finally allowed himself to love you wholly, completely, as it was written in the stars.

“I love you,” he says, as if just those three words could encapsulate everything he feels for you.

“Always?” You giggle. He rolls his eyes. 

“Wherever you are, and wherever you may be, I will.”

You kiss him one more time for good measure.

“That was corny.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2024

“No peeking.”

Rin folds up his piece of paper and hangs it from the bamboo tree. You’re tugging him along before he can even properly check to see if it’s been secured.

“Come on, I don’t want to miss the fireworks!”

He wouldn’t miss them for the world. You’ve always looked the most beautiful under the brightened summer sky.

The wish he scribbled down blows softly in the breeze as both of you rush by, back to the festival where it all began.

7 July 2024. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I love you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

extra notes. hi! if you made it this far, i'd like to give you the warmest most grateful thank you ever ( ´ ω `)

so, here it is. i've been working on this since last september-ish... for some people that amount of time is not much, but genuinely, i've never devoted so much attention and time to one single fic and i hope i did this one justice. rin has always been a guilty pleasure of mine to write for. i hope this man stays far far away from me until i can stomach even looking at his name again LOL ‾́ ◡ ‾́

also i finally admitted defeat and took out all my pictures and dividers because tumblr was fighting my posts that had any. so... sorry the formatting looks like this

additional tags: @jenoutof10 @hanrinz @itoshiexx lol hi guys it made it out of the drafts i hope you like it

[elixrr]

ᴄᴜᴅᴅʟᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ! ☆ ʜᴏʏᴏᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ ᴍᴇɴ¡

ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ.

ꜰᴛ: Xiao, Wriothesley, Lyney, Dan Heng, Argenti, Blade.

ꜱʏɴᴘᴏꜱɪꜱ: Headcanons about their cuddles with you!

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: I considered adding Alhaitham into the mix, but I figured that I didn't know his character well enough for his part to be accurate and good. Apologies to all of the Alhaitham fans! Also, new format for my fanfiction posts, inspired by many creators! (Namely iheartganyu)

ᴘꜱ: pretty little spoiler warning if you haven't caught up with anything in either game 😭😭

✰ xiao ✰

— An adeptus of Liyue, the Vigilant Yaksha. It's easy to guess that cuddles with him are rare. Mostly due to his job, but he's too... awkward. Xiao has been touch-starved for the great majority of his life, so it's easy to assume that he's inexperienced, much to his dismay.

Don't get me wrong. He'd love to cuddle more often, but— while inexperience is one part of it, Xiao is ultimately insecure. He strongly believes that he's tainted. He believes that he's a disgusting, vile creature that lives only to slaughter, but he thinks of you as an angel. Xiao thinks that too many cuddles would taint you, alongside the fact that he worries about his Karmic Debt situation.

Nevertheless, when you do convince him to cuddle with you, he'll be awkward at first; hesitant to put his arm here, overthinking how he put his hand there, etc., etc. He doesn't emit much body warmth, but he finds you to be really cozy and warm to the touch, thus finding comfort in the closeness once he moves past the insecurities and hesitation. By the way, unless you like to initiate and contribute to conversations, most of the cuddles will be in comfortable silence, excluding the occasional comment about the scenery or compliments about each other.

Xiao would cuddle on the condition that it's in a secluded area and nobody else is present except for you and him. He'd prefer to book a bedroom at Wangshu Inn, but if not, then he'd prefer to cuddle on the rooftop of the inn, late at night when the stars shine from the heaven-blessed galaxies, the subtle natural light kissing your features to give him a little bit of an extra view. He doesn't think too much about how he looks to you, but he could only hope that he's at least bearable to look at. (Which he very much is.)

☆ wriothesley ☆

— He's so touchy and extra cuddly that sometimes that extra cuddly can be too extra, resulting in a near impossible mission to get out of bed in time for you to even get ready. Wriothesley loves holding you close to him. You're his love, and so he wants to treat you like it, but sometimes cuddles can transform into something a little bit more than just a cozy night, wrapping one's arms around the other.

Speaking of, good luck to you if you prefer being the big spoon, because you can't be the big spoon anymore. Wriothesley will always be the one to hold you, always the one to just wrap his arms around you and cherish you like never before. As previously mentioned, you're his lover, and he wants to treat you like it! Wriothesley wants to make you feel special, like you're the most important person in his life, so he'll do his best to give you that.

Also, I feel as though he'd whisper to you a lot. Even if there's no need to be quiet, he finds it intimate to just lean in and whisper compliments in your ear while holding you close. It doesn't matter what situation you're in; it doesn't matter where you guys are, even if you're talking about your day or the constellations in the skies above, he'll interrupt you, lean in close and just say something about your eyes, maybe your clothes, but preferably your lips.

Wriothesley would also love kissing you at random whenever you cuddle. Not to say he doesn't already do that outside of cuddles, but it's just, to him, you look amazing. You look cute, and why wouldn't he kiss you when you're his gracious lover? He hopes that he doesn't go overboard and accidentally make you uncomfortable, but at the same time, he knows you enjoy it— that smile on your face every time he pecks a kiss on your nose or cheek tells him everything he needs to know.

Before I forget, he doesn't prefer cuddles during any time of the day, but given his job, it's mainly during his afternoon tea breaks, and 100% at night in bed with you. To be honest, if he could, he'd take a full day off just to hold you tight and spend the day with you, wrapped like burritos in a blanket and sipping the day away with refreshments and love.

Some day, he might as well do just that.

☆ lyney ☆

— If it weren't for his job as a magician and as part of the fatui, he wouldn't let go of you. When Lyney can, he clings to you like a lost child who had finally found their parent in a big city. He holds your waist with one hand and performs little magic tricks with the other to impress you. Lyney's a very clingy, touchy lover.

When cuddling, he loves getting super close to the point where there's almost no space between the two of you. But on the occasion, he'll snuggle so close that it's basically just a tight hug—the only difference is that you're both lying down. The only times he isn't super, mega close to you, is when he's making rainbow roses appear randomly around your body. Most of the time, it's all fun and innocent, but other times, Lyney enjoys the look on your face when he does something quite bold.

Also, Lyney's very talkative while cuddling. Even in moments of relaxation, he'll take the time to just stare at you, even if he can't get the full view because of the ungodly lack of space, Lyney will look at you and start complimenting you. He loves you so much, and that's another huge way to show it. He's a romantic kind of guy. If there's a way to show his affection, he will take and use that way to show his affection. He loves your smile; he loves it when you blush, and it slowly grows more evident by the second because he starts to blush, too. Also, Lyney would immediately just hold you more at the sight of your reaction.

Nevertheless, his need to be close can change. Whenever he's out on a mission given by Arlecchino— more specifically, an assassination mission— you won't see him for a good three days. Even when the mission's complete, he'd want to seek out your love, comfort, and affection, but he stops himself. Lyney believes that his hands are still painted with the blood of the murdered, no matter how many times he washes or scrubs them, he'll still see the visible darkening red blood stains. There's no way he's even going near you with those kinds of sins straight on his body. It's sad, and you might have to seek him out yourself if he doesn't show up for the next few days. When you do find him, the moment he sees you is when that wall of guilt shatters, and he nearly breaks down seeing you again. Seeing you every day made him used to you, and just a few days of deprivation made him feel miserable. The simple, mere sight of you had him almost sobbing, running back to you and holding you tight, finally reunited with the one he loves most.

Were he not guilty of association with the fatui, he wouldn't have ever needed or wanted to let go.

☆ dan heng☆

— Blushing little mess. He's never a fan of PDA, so even when he does want to hold you outside of his or your room, he doesn't. Hence why the moment you both enter the private space of a hotel room or a bedroom, Dan Heng takes your hand and leads you to the bed for cuddles. He loves them, really, but he's a flustered mess of a lover because of how embarrassed he felt about being so clingy.

He's a big spoon, too, so he holds you close to him while cuddling. He likes the closeness, but he hates how visibly red his face gets, so he buries his face into your shoulder to hide. Sometimes, he just lays there listening to you or simply calming down in silence, but he does like hearing your voice before bed. It helps him sleep, and it somehow prevents nightmares of Blade. Quick note, your comfort and warmth make him feel safe through the night, and you accompany him when he'd usually be alone, either on his phone or reading a book.

PS: Dan Heng prefers to sleep in your room and/or in a hotel room because your bed and the hotel's provided beds are much more comfortable than a sleeping bag. He loves wrapping a blanket around the two of you and holding you like that. He says it's so you both get an even amount of warmth, and neither of you takes more of the blanket than the other, but he really does it because he feels a bit closer to you.

In his Imbibitor Lunae form, sleeping with him gets a bit harder, simply because he finds it harder to control himself. But when he can control himself, he'll let you run your fingers through his long hair, maybe even letting you touch his horns. Still, he doesn't allow the latter too often for reasons left unsaid. Anyway, he dislikes using this form because of how it reminds him of his former's past. He feels as though he's trapped in the memories and sin that are not his own. Yet, you make him feel comfortable in his own skin. He feels free with you; he feels alive, and he loves you for your ability to make him feel that way. Dan Heng will do everything in his ability to make you feel the same way.

And he likely already has.

☆ argenti ☆

— The most proper and romantic. Compliments littered across your entire figure, his hand in yours kissing your knuckles constantly with the addition of the most rosey and romantic sweet nothings. Argenti is old-fashioned and the most romantic, as he believes that this is the only way to live for his adored Aeon. The most comment compliment you'd hear between kisses is, “you're the most exquisite person in my world,” and Argenti would always wink with his compliments. Sometimes, it's wonderful to be the subject of his rose-colored words, but other times, it gets old; you become slightly lovesick.

The solution to that is conversation while holding each other in bed, or perhaps it's simply ushering Argenti to cuddle with you beneath the stars at night. It's beautiful to see the galaxy in its brightest moments, hovering from the dark skies. Argenti would silently pray to his Aeon, thanking her profusely for letting him see this wonderful view in person.

Still. You are his lover, and sometimes the weight of fear and trauma gets to him. Argenti often looks to you to confide in, and usually, nights like these are rarely cuddle nights, but sometimes, when it gets bad, you'll hold him in the night while he talks about his past— the wars, the music, the old friends, the worries— and how terrifying it can be if he would succumb to the same fate as his once so honorable friend. In exchange for your comfort, he holds you close and vows to protect you in your dreams and from the moment you wake to the moment you sleep again.

Argenti prefers to cuddle in bed, during a picnic, or beneath the stars. He seldom makes exceptions for heavy PDA, but when it comes to cuddling in public, even if there are people around during the day or at night, if it's stargazing or a picnic, he doesn't care as much. He'll smile, his eyes set only on you, not the eyes that may linger on your cuddles.

He doesn't care enough to look at anyone else, not when the embodiment of beauty lays right by him.

☆ blade ☆

— He's cautious. Blade's name takes after his weapon, and though he himself is not a sword, he still worries that he'll hurt you through cuddles. Blade is marastruck, and if it starts to get to him, he's terrified that it'll strike you, too. He admires death and the concept of it, but for you to die and for him to live with that? Impossible.

Anyway, convincing him is still 100% doable. When you do cuddle with him, he holds you with hesitation and care. He doesn't show it, as he masks his emotions with lips pursed to a line, but he feels relief. He feels happy, even, but he can't really tell. The Mara has calmed, and he can catch a break from the trauma. Something worth noting: Blade's trauma might cause him to cling to you, holding you close for comfort and reassurance— but that's only when he finds himself to be desperate for your love and affection. It's the one thing that keeps him together; your smile alone can mend all of his wounds, physical or not.

That can happen at any time of the day, but he'll typically seek you out at night. Blade will— without a spoken word— hug you from behind with a sigh of relief, and he'll take you to the nearest spot with the most privacy, and he'll hold you tight once more without a sign of letting you go. He loves you, and without even saying that he does, you already have all the evidence you need to conclude that he does. Holding you feels like heaven, in Blade's eyes. Once he gets past his fears of hurting you, he'll wrap his arms around your waist, but if he cuddles with you from behind, he'll wrap his arms beneath your chest, all with a sigh of relief and the tiniest hint of a smile.

The two of you cuddling is cute, so cute that Silver Wolf just had to stream it and broadcast one of your cuddle sessions to all of the other Stellaron Hunters.

Of course, you and Blade will never cuddle near any of the Stellaron Hunters ever again after that.

[kalki-tarot]

Detailed love tarot reading.

You & your Destined person ♡

@kalki-tarot

Pick a picture you're drawn to the most.

Masterlist | Pick a pile masterlist

Disclaimer : tarot is not 100% accurate, this reading is just for fun. Tarot does not substitute professional treatment of any kind. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make on behalf of my readings. This may not resonate with everyone. Please be mindful of your own actions and thoughts ♡

Pile 1

Channeled song :

How and when will you meet them?

The universe will conspire for your meeting when you may have turned away from love itself. When you think everything in this world is against you, when you least expect it, you'll meet them by destiny. The reason why you turned your back on love is because you may be heartbroken, you dealt with something painful. Your thoughts would tell you that true love doesn't exist. You'll meet them when you are not even looking for love. This phase will come on it's own. You need not force it.

You can meet them while traveling. Most probably while traveling. This can be love at first sight for both or one of you. This person can also be a foreigner or from a different state/city.

For time frame, you can meet them in some weeks, 10 years or six months.

What is their current energy and what will be their energy when you meet?

444 or 33 can be significant. This person is currently in a very creative energy. They are upto something. They are starting a new shop or business. Whatever new venture they're upto, they'll be happy and content with whatever they make in terms of money from it. They are doing it for their own happiness. They can be interested in stargazing. They can also be a star. Like a famous individual. They are embracing their feminine energy, no matter the gender. They are allowing their emotions to come and flow. They're not becoming a block in the path of their own success. They can also be dating alot. They are doing a partnership currently, in business, work, school etc. They are very caring and loving towards their family. They have a lot of ideas, but they are not pursuing it right now.

By the time of your meeting, their energy will drastically shift. There would be a shocking realization about something. This person would've become very sensitive by the time they meet you. They'll know sides of human nature they didn't knew before. They can be traveling to their home town and you both can meet for the first time in their home town also. You can meet at a family celebration also. Like a wedding, family reunion or a friend's marriage ceremony. I see people around you. The most probable situation I'm getting is that, they travel to their home town in a wedding party and they see you there and fall in love with you. Their energy seems very family oriented.

What are the blocks or obstacles in this meeting? How do you overcome them?

I know people acted wrong with you, people were deceitful with you. But it's time to let divine play their part. You have to release the blocks in your heart chakra. Let love enter your life. Don't stop it from coming into your life.

You can release the past heartbreaks now. Take a deep breathe and release that heavy energy that rests upon your heart. You need to be intune with your intuition. The cycle has ended. Now you have to focus on the present. Know that you are the king/queen. Know that you can do this. Karmic cycles have already ended.

The ideal version of you that you look upto can become your reality if you're confident enough about yourself. Know that and move forward.

What is their personality like?

This person comes from a rich and happy family. They are connected with their family so much. They are quick and impulsive. They do make impulsive decisions sometimes. They like to party and socialize lot. They like meeting with people. Can be an extrovert. They have a great social and personal life balance. They believe in partnerships and collaborations. They are your romantic soulmate. This person is sad because someone left from their family. Or maybe a fight took place with their family members.

What will this relationship feel and turn out like?

Again 444 popped up. It's a very significant number. This relationship would feel very dreamy. You'll go on trips together and experience many things. It'll help you look better within yourselves. You guys would be able to understand yourselves better. It'll come with a lot of wise teachings. Things would calm down after the exhausting period. And you guys would definitely marry each other. This can be a destination wedding. Or you would travel after the wedding to some place for your honeymoon.

What is the divine purpose behind this connection? What will it teach you?

It'll literally teach you how to love yourself. The purpose behind this is to teach to the power of inner strength and compassion. The masculines would learn to get in touch with their feminine and emotional sides. Like to express themselves better and not to be afraid or ashamed of your emotions. It'll teach you how to take a leap of faith and trust in yourself. The feminines would get to know how powerful they are and how important they are. You know, you'll get to know your self worth through this.

Pile 2

Channeled song :

How and when will you meet them?

After a fight, with yourself. You'll meet them after a fight or a betrayal. Someone would lie or cheat on you and you nay go in ther hermit mode for sometime before they come into your life. When you actually realize your self worth pile 2, they'll enter your life. When you'll be in your boss b*tch era or when you'll be powerful and self confident.

When your life will be in your control or hands, things will fall into place and they'll enter your life when you would not even want love anymore.

Time frame would be 11 days or the waxing phase of moon.

What is their current energy? And what will be their energy when you meet them?

This person has also suffered very hard. Sleepless nights and racing thoughts surrounded this person. But now they're very focused and clear about their life. They may work with a lot of women or are surrounded by lots of women in their life. There might be a gossip surrounding this person, like how cold they act with others. Their ex probably cheated on them snd lied to them, with the three and seven of swords, they were very heartbroken and they cut themselves from the world. They appeared very silent and lost in their mind alot. And people are gossiping about how this person's behavior changed after the heartbreak. To be honest, they really loved their ex and had marriage in mind. But things went bad for them.

They have overcome all of this, now they are in a good state but sometimes the past haunts them. They don't want to socialize for a while now, they just wanna focus on their career goals. They are really heartbroken. A karmic cycle has ended for them. They cleared out whatever karma they had in their hands. Now here comes divine intervention at place, divine will help this person move forward. Angels literally guide this person towards you, towards love. They are being shown the positive sides of love, they're being introduced to pure and truthful love. Divine is blessing this person with a romantic union. Wow! They're being shown the path, don't worry they'll reach you when the time is right.

What are the blocks or obstacles in this union? How can you overcome them?

Someone's mental health is literally falling out of place, either your or theirs. Don't let someone manipulate you through kind words. Astrological events can be significant. You need to know where the obsession starts in love and you should be aware of it. Don't repeat the mistakes you made in the past. Learn from mistakes please. Be aware of red flags, addictions and toxic people. It'd be better if these things are cut from your life as early as possible.

Don't be stuck in the past love. That's the advice for you. I know you want love and you'll get it don't worry. Just don't be obsessed with anything. Let things come to you.

What's their personality like?

They are famous, very peopular like i said before, people gossip and talk about them alot! But this person is very isolated and introverted. Kinda contradictory, right? They are very wise and kind. They don't talk unnecessarily. They're an old soul. They can be a teacher or a manifestation coach.

They really feel trapped in their mind. They overthink a lot. They can't see a clear picture due to this. What's really great about them is that they are aware of what they're doing. That's really a curse and a gift. I can relate to that. They know where they lack and they can't do anything about it. They have certain traits which are bad and they know that they are bad but they can't really do anything about it. It's their own personality anyway, how can they change it? I'm sorry if i couldn't explain it better. Being aware of your own faults is really crucial. They also psycho-analyse themselves, i do that too lol. But it can become too self critical which leads to the weird paradox of self hatred and self awareness.

Aside from that, they want a happy family of theirs. Like even a small family would do, but should be a happy one. They want marriage, right now. They're ready to date around and get a girl/guy. They are very romantic, romance flows out from them! They would literally do what you want without you asking for it! They may belong to the education field somehow.

How would this relationship feel like?

Your fear of vulnerability will end with this person. You'll feel safe with them. This relationship would feel like a reward. You may look back to the past but this person would make you forget all of that. You'll feel safe with them. I sense warmth. You may also start a new business after getting married. The wall you've built around yourself would diminish and you'll feel your bond strengthing over time. The feminine would be a very caring and loving person to the masculine. The masculine would be a very romantic and giving person to the feminine. Such a beautiful and healthy relationship!

What is the divine purpose behind this connection? What will it teach you?

This will teach you how to create a balance. You'll learn how to face your shadow side and you'll learn how to end toxic cycles that surrounds you. You'll learn how to overcome your heartbreaks. You'll learn how to be more giving to others & yourself. You'll learn how to love and be in harmony with your person. You'll learn that sadness comes and goes. You'll learn that you're much more powerful that you think you are. You'll learn to be confident with yourself.

Pile 3

Channeled song :

How & when will you meet them?

You will receive a love offer after a cycle ends in your life. You may have a fear of getting rejected in love so you don't allow anyone get closer to you in the first place. But trust me, this person will come into your life when you'll stop fearing love. Don't be scared of it. Take the leap of faith with this person.

Holding onto things is not going to help, you should do justice with yourself. Libra season may be significant in your life. Your creativity will spark before meeting this person, so take it as a sign that you're gonna meet them soon. They'll be very romantic and will sweep you off your feet in the first meeting. When you'll let go of these fears, and move on from heartbreak They'll enter your life without wasting time. You can meet in a social gathering or a party. You can meet them at night or even midnight. For time frame Capricorn season can be the time you meet them. You can trust this person, don't be shy with them.

What is their current energy? What will be their energy when you meet them?

Alright pile 3! This person is currently releasing all the emotional turmoils and pains and blocks. These reason of this pain that they're releasing right now was that people or maybe a past lover took advantage of their empathetic and loving nature for their own means. Now they're improving and maintaining a distance from these kind of people. They're just being nice to people who are close to them. They are setting boundaries. They wanna start new and afresh in love. They're releasing every past energy. This person is becoming kind and gentle with themselves first and for their loved ones only. They're putting up a wall in front of strangers so that no one can take advantage of their kind nature anymore. They're working on themselves and improving their skills. They may be taking new classes or even join new sports practice. They're learning wise things and moving forward in life.

They'll create a significant balance in their life between their emotional and logical self by the time they meet you. They won't get swayed by people anymore when they're about to meet you, but they'll get swayed by you ;) they'll be very abundant or even wealthy and stable when they meet you.

What are the blocks and obstacles in this union? How can you overcome them?

Current advice for you is that you don't have to lose your balance in any tough situations. Don't get swayed by any handsome or beautiful person in the first sight only. Know that people hide so much behind their lovely demeanor. You not should just focus on love, focus on other things in life too, to be in a state of balance and equality. Otherwise i don't see any block.

What is their personality like?

They have a great convincing power. They can get anyone do what they want, not bad things of course. They're strong and energetic. Very enthusiastic energy, they stand up for what they believe in. This person's past was not very good in terms of love. They got cheated by someone whom they truly loved the most. This person is in an energy of walking away from love or his/her romantic side right now. They're heartbroken. As i said before, this person is cold to others but soft to their loved ones only. They have a fiery personality, air and fire signs are prominent. They may still be in a school/college right now. This person wants a powerful match for themselves, they want a man or a woman who is as capable as them. They're very romantic and loving too, very passionate about the people whom they love. It's hard to win their love, but once they let you in, they won't let you out of their minds and hearts.

How would this relationship feel like?

This relationship or union will be divinely guided for a greater purpose. This relationship will help you release toxic cycles and negative thinking. All the obsessions and attachments will be released. It will help you both transform and have a rebirth. So that you can start a new journey in life. This will teach you to take that leap of faith. And will also help y'all to get out of your comfort zone and visit all the places you've never been. A deep and sentimental connection is present here, full with compassion, empathy and divinity. I just love the whole cozy and comfortable vibe of y'all relationship.

What is the divine purpose behind this connection? What will it teach you?

Wow! We have three aces and the powerful queen and king of swords couple right here! The spread tells me about a past life of uou both where you both could were either very poor and separated from each other. In this lifetime, multiple opportunities will be given to you both for wealth, prosperity and abundance. And divine will itself guide you both together with eachother in this lifetime so that you both can finally love and be with eachother. This will teach you balance and harmony. Everything will be right in this lifetime for you both, whatever bad thing takes place, take it as a lesson or your own karma and be happy for yourself.

Please provide insights so I can improve more ♡

[hotheadedhero]

Like 'em Big

AN: I have so many stories to write but I had to do this. Blaming being sick, m'kay? Fever has got me bad and these meds got me loopy. Thinking we need some good, silly fun in our lives, right? Plus, now that I've watched Rise, I'm hungry for some big Raph appreciation. I know I ain't the only one

Part 2

All characters are aged up

Raphael x Reader

Warnings: near peril, easily smitten, possible errors due to fever (what kind of fever is up for deliberation🥴)

Cutting right to the chase. You like big dudes. That doesn't necessarily mean muscles, either. You just love you a big man - someone with a bit of something-something to them. More to love, you know? Given your track record with the greater world, it shouldn't be all that much of a mystery. Cats? Get yourself a tiger that you can cuddle into. Jumpers? Comfort central, baby. Beds? If you can't spread eagle then you see no point. The old-age saying does declare that the bigger the better, so who are you to disagree? How true that is may be up for debate but it’s merely as simple as understanding what your preferences are.

However, this makes dating a difficult ballpark to play in. No matter how tall, jacked, or voluptuous someone is, it never feels like enough. Human biology and genetics can only go so far in the conceivably possible sense. You just want to be absolutely engulfed when you get a hug. Is that such a crime? Apparently, it is. Unfortunately, you also seem to come across the worst jerks when you attempt to date within this set of criteria. One might argue it's your karmic justice for being so superficial and picky but a woman has needs. Not those kinds of needs, either. Get your head out of the gutter.

All hope seems lost and after yet again, another failed date, you decide to call it in for the evening and make your way home. A fresh failure and another wonderful outfit gone to waste. By no means is it anything flashy but you put a lot of work into it: pencil skirt, turtle neck sweater, and a nice pair of boots to compliment the look. The whole shebang! All of that effort for nothing. This is the last time you spend three hours doing your hair and makeup. Block after block, your feet grow heavier with every step. What you would give to come across a mountain-like man you can climb who is also a kindred spirit. Perhaps this dream guy will forever be that - a dream. Men like that don't just fall out of the sky.

"Look out!!"

The sudden shout almost scares you into tripping over and you look behind yourself, wishing you hadn’t. Two very large, very dangerous-looking figures entangled in battle, those of which are approaching your helpless little self. You quickly duck as the giants hurdle over you. One falls on its side whilst the other claws and skids against the ground, regaining its balance. It shakes its head and locks onto you, a guttural snarl rumbling past its jowls. Such a creature is surely from the stuff of nightmares. An indescribable nightmare whose sights are set on you. The smart option would be running away but it's as though your shoes have melted into the pavement. Pawing into the tarmac, the beastly thing growls and lunges for you. Great. This is how you die: torn limb from limb by a demon dog. Well, assuming your clothes join you, at least you’ll look like a total babe in the afterlife.

"Oh no ya’ don't," the other one yells from behind the predator, grabbing it by its tail. “Pretty ladies are not food!”

With a mighty tug, he pulls it back and swings it as far away from you as possible. You release a shaky breath, legs trembling beneath you. That was far too close for comfort. The fight isn’t quite over, however. Just as it approaches him, the green goliath swivels on his feet, full 180, and whacks the creature's jaw with a closed fist. His speed alone has you in awe but the force is astounding, practically earth-shattering. It completely knocks the air around you and pushes you onto your backside.

When the dust clears, the first thing you see is your saviour panting, his spiky shell(?) pointed towards you. Just past him in the distance, you notice three more figures in blue, purple, and orange taking a closer look at the unconscious tyrant. You swear one of them pokes at it with a stick. Witnessing strange beings such as this isn't entirely new. Anyone who's watched Chateau Pretenche knows about the celebrity chef turning into a grotesque pigman. To describe it in one word? Horrifying. It's just whether people choose to believe it genuinely happened or if these bizarre entities exist. Being up close and personally observing it now puts your scepticism in check.

As the humanoid turtle calms, he turns to face you, recapturing your attention. A red mask sits over his eyes and there’s a noticeable snaggle tooth poking past his upper lip. Typically, the prerogative is keeping out of sight but it’s much too late for that. He gradually advances towards you. You watch him warily and he keeps his movements slow for that very reason. It wouldn’t be a shock if you were to try and make an escape. He wouldn’t blame you. Currently, all he wants to do is make sure you weren’t hurt during that fiasco provided you don’t suddenly come out of your bewilderment and run off. You have good reason to but he just saved you. Either that or he’s as ravenous as that beast and wants you all to himself. The irrational conclusion remains as such - irrational - when he descends to one knee and outstretches a hand. There’s an irrefutable kindness in his eyes; a caring nature that can’t be replicated in the face of savage brutes.

"You okay?" he asks.

You continue to gawk without a word but, bit by bit, you reach out for his offer. Your fingers lightly trace the centre of his palm before comfortably trusting the proposal. His hand engulfs yours completely and Raph hopes to mercy that you don’t realise how sweaty he’s getting. He can feel his heart beating like crazy. He wonders how much of that is the adrenaline from the fight and how much of it is being in the presence of such a beautiful gal. As he helps you to your feet, he rises to his own. Someone of his stature shouldn’t be capable of being this delicate but he is. It has you running through a loop and you unintentionally stare at the remarkable behemoth.

Quite pathetically, you nod, unable to verbally respond to his question. How can you? You are effectively starstruck. Once you gloss over the turtle-y features, all you see is the sheer size of him as he towers over you. Height, width, the magnitude of those arms! All of it is glorious. You can hear the universe asking, “You want a big man, huh? How about one who isn’t human?” to which you answer, “Who gives a damn?”. If the only way a man can be this big is not to be human, so be it.

Amidst a whisper, your mouth moves on its own, "You're beautiful."

"What?"

"Huh?" Blinking out of your trance, you realise what you’ve said and giggle sheepishly, "I mean, you're be... ba... booming! Totally awesome with the whole- uh... saving thing." Nailed it. 

He blinks right back down at you. This is certainly a first. He can feel his face heating up and he withdraws his hand lest you endure the wrath of his bashfulness, opting to hold the back of his head. At this moment, he seems to look anywhere but you.

"Heh. Gee, thanks." His humility is adorable and you’re glad he doesn’t question your initial statement. He turns to you once more, regaining some composure. "You sure you're okay, though? That thing was pretty scary looking."

It’s clear that you haven’t sustained any physical injuries but even bearing witness to something so unsightly can have lasting effects on one's mind. His brows furrow gently in concern down at you and it occurs to you that there’s a soft heart under all of that shell and muscle. Bonus points. This makes you smile for the first time in front of him and Raphael is sure that the streetlights got brighter.

You laugh fondly, “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” Twiddling your fingers, your lips purse up in his direction.  “Is there any way I can repay you?”

He places his hands on his hips and chuckles cutely, “Just doing my duty, ma’am.”

He may be indulging in his alter ego - the Red Angel of Preventing Harm - but it’s not every day he gets paid thanks when he saves someone. It’s also not every day he gets to save such a pretty woman, either. You, however, can’t just leave it at that. There must be some way in which you can properly thank him. Ulterior motives include getting to know this already loveable lug better but shh. It feels like the odds are finally turning in your favour and you won’t let this slip away from your grasp. That’s when it hits you.

Muttering under your breath, you erratically search through the confines of your little handbag. You are certain that you had one in here somewhere. In the spare pocket maybe? Ah! Found it. Fumbling to take the lid off of your pen, you hold out your hand, gesturing for his. He slowly complies, to which you jot down a series of digits on his palm accompanied by your name and a tiny 'x'. 

"Gimme a text sometime," is the last thing he hears before you disappear around a corner.

Oh? Oh. Ohhh. Wow. Getting your number is the last thing he expected. Did he get hit on the head during that scuffle or something? Was everything from the last few minutes a dream? He bores holes into the writing on his skin, scanning it over and over, scared that it’ll disappear if he so much as blinks. A dumb, wobbly smile not so gracefully decorates his lips as he trudges back to the turtle tank. He takes his seat but it’s obvious that he isn’t all there. Being so caught up in his rose-tinted bubble, he doesn’t register his brothers' voices. In an effort to gain his attention, Michelangelo jumps onto his shoulder, partly intrigued by what their leader is so absorbed by.

"Oh me gosh!” the young brother screams in shrill excitement, “Raph's in love!"

Careful not to smudge the neat ink, he’s quick to hide his hand against his chest. "That's crazy talk!”

Donatello sniffs the air and mockingly covers his nose. "The overwhelming manifestation of your nervous stink indicates otherwise, dear brother."

"I got a girl’s number!” he continues to defend, feeling his face go all kinds of red. “'Course, I'm nervous but that don’t mean I’m in love."

Lies and slander. It was practically love at first sight. He just doesn’t like the idea of his brothers knowing that. It’s easy pickings to be made fun of.

"Don't worry, Big Red. Lucky for you, you got a guy who knows all about the charm." Leonardo points both thumbs at himself as he falls back into his seat and props his legs up on the dashboard. "First, you just need to..."

The "helpful" advice drowns out as the large snapper opens and gazes at his palm again. He just can't comprehend how a gorgeous individual such as yourself could take one look at him and give him your number. It's puzzling but he supposes there’s a first for everything? That also doesn't mean he won't text you. The only thing getting in the way of that is fear. Raphael thinks he’d rather go toe-to-toe with that mutant dog again than have to face the risk of embarrassing himself. To anyone who knows him, it’s no surprise that he caves under pressure. No. He will do it! A chance like this is one in a million.

Oh boy. What could possibly go wrong?

[princessjojo-x]

Synastry Notes

💝 the reasons you sometimes harmonise well with men, despite it not making sense astrologically... A) people you’ve spent a considerable amount of time with, your family & friends, have similar placements to him. as a consequence, you’re very familiar & comfortable with that signs energy, despite not necessary being the most astrologically compatible with it. therefore, it’s useful to check the sun signs of the people closest to him, to learn what energy he is accustomed too. B) despite having a disappointing synastry chart, you have hopeful & balanced composite chart. B) one of his placements falls into one of your following houses: 1H - energy you give off. 4H - emotional wellbeing & comfort. 5H - love, happiness & inner child. 7H - partnerships & relationships.

💝 it doesn’t matter how attractive other girls are compared to you, as long as you & him have mutual attraction written in your synastry chart. however, it doesn’t matter how pretty you are compared to other girls, he will still cheat on you if betrayal is written in your synastry chart.

💝 in regards to your natal chart, fifth house shows how you act in the beginning of rxships & your dating style (first dates, first kisses). eighth house shows how you act when feeling real connection & how you behave sexually.

💝 our preferred house overlays could be indicated by our venus sign. for example, leo venus may enjoy 5th house synastry or scorpio venus may feel comfortable with 8th house synastry.

💝your best match will not have similar placements to you but instead opposite energy to balance one another out. find someone with the energy you’re lacking.

💝 chart ruler conjunct seventh house within synastry is a marriage indicator. chart ruler is the planet that rules your ascendant sign. for example, my ascendant is cancer so my chart ruler is moon. my moon is in aries so they would be libra ascendant.

💝 having many oppositions within synastry can feel like you lust over each other but there’s always something stopping you from being with each other. it’s important to have patience & faith in these rxships. without maturity results won’t be see.

💝 in order to get over your ex using astrology, meet someone new who has their south node conjunct your ex’s moon, ascendant or venus.

💝 a lot of married couples have their ascendant in neighboring signs.

💝 many couples share similar moon aspects in their natal chart. for example, partner A has moon square rising & partner B has moon opposite rising, both harsh aspects.

💝 often cancer & taurus placements end up together.

💝 the least compatible signs are taurus & virgo. the spark dies quickly & partners get irritated with each other as time goes on. but partners stay together bc the rxship “works” practically.

💝 starting a new rxhsip during venus rx is guaranteed to teach you a karmic lesson with a karmic partner.

💝 oddly enough, the same placements that indicate potential of becoming a stalker are the same placements that indicate being a victim of stalking. if you look at the charts of real stalkers & their victims, there's often similar aspects.

💝 high chance of compatibility if theres more harmonic aspects (trines, sextiles) than hard aspects (oppositions, squares) within synastry chart. however, you NEVER want a rxship with no challenging aspects bc that would be so boring & you’d both lose interest quick asf. we need that spice, that challenge, that potency.

💝 trine = the most positive aspect

💝 sextile = harmonious & ease

💝 square = challenge & action

💝 opposite = attraction & instability

💝 moon = represents a man’s spouse.

💝 venus = how we love & want to be loved. the type of woman men are attracted to

💝 mars = the type of man women are attracted to

💝 juno = venus & mars shows what partner we think we want but juno shows what marriage partner we need & will get. (leo)

💝 rising of your juno persona chart = shows what partner you‘re destined to marry (capricorn)

💝 lust = represents desires & uncontrollable turn ons. lusts energy is not related to love or romance, no emotions involved, it’s abt our instincts.

💝 lust conjuct asc, venus, even neptune - lust is sexually attracted to planets physical appearance. neptune especially will be lusts ideal sexual partner bc neptune represents ideals & dreams.

💝 knowing which house of theirs your moon falls in, is the key to understanding how they perceive your emotional world & what area of life you give them comfort/nurture.

[kquil]

REMUS LUPIN | NOT SO SECRET ADMIRER PRT.2

REQUEST. : First I would like to say that I started following you because of Remus' imagine “Not so secret admirer” and my request is like a “continuation” with their first date, if possible ... ⏤ @jennieasfrance

TAGS. : reader is too shy ; but she warms up to things ; bookworm reader ; tutor remus ; puppy love ; remus has love eyes for you ; you have to pass exams ; hogsmeade weekend date with conditions

LENGTH : 1.3k

PART ONE

“Nice try, Moony,” Sirius pats his pitiful friend’s shoulder with an apologetic smile. It didn’t start off like this. In the beginning, when Remus first started trying to approach you, whenever he was able — in the great hall or in the corridors —, Sirius laughed at his friend’s miserable attempts but now… now it was just sad. 

“She called me pretty,” Remus sighs sadly, “so why is she always running away from me?” 

“Maybe you’re just too pretty?” Peter muses, scratching the back of his neck bashfully, “I know I wouldn’t dare approach anyone I thought was too pretty,” at his comment, James comes up behind the blonde to wrap an arm around his shoulders and give him a comforting squeeze. 

“Thanks Pete,” Remus musters a weak smile but it isn’t enough to lift his mood. His focus is nowhere in particular as he contemplates the karmic reasons for his current circumstance in love. It was even more difficult to approach you because you were a year younger and a Ravenclaw, meaning that you already spent little time together atop not being in the same year group. 

“At least you two have something in common,” Sirius sighs, his voice straining slightly as he stretches his arms up. 

“Yeah?” Remus prompts, flashing Peter a small smile as he watches James ruffle the dirty blonde’s hair affectionately. 

“You’re a pair of bookworms,” Sirius points to you entering the library with an impressive pile of borrowed books in your arms. Having followed the direction of Sirius’ finger, Remus smiles fondly at your charming mannerisms. A bookworm chasing another bookworm, how fitting. 

Despite his complaints, Sirius became the sole reason Remus spent even more of his spare time in the library — just to catch a glimpse of you. Studying, writing, reading for pleasure or for classes, he’s seen it all and he knows that you know he has. 

Ever since you’ve had that run in with Remus in the hallway, where you embarrassingly called him pretty before running away, he’s been appearing everywhere. It was so sudden, you didn’t know what to do. And he keeps making eye contact with you as well. It’s so flustering that you can’t help but run away. In the beginning, you weren’t able to register any of the emotions behind his eyes but after meeting his gaze so often…

“He’s looking at you the same way you look at him,” your best friend giggles into your ear and earns a shove to the shoulder that only makes her laugh even harder. It makes you frown before the librarian makes her way over and quickly reprimands her. Now you’re the one giggling. 

Remus sees all this and can’t help but sigh, a dopey smile on his face. You just look— ‘so pretty… I want to make her laugh like that all the time…’ Remus thinks to himself. 

“He’s in love…” Sirius gags to his right, his expression pulled into a look of repulsion “it’s so disgusting,” 

Remus rolls his eyes and continues to stare at you, “I’m not as bad as James,”

“Hey!” 

“True…” Sirius muses and is slowly followed by James grumbling pathetically as Peter rubs his back in comfort. 

Just as Remus rolls his eyes and turns his gaze towards you once more, you lock gazes; instead of immediately running away, Remus sees the beginnings of a smile on your lips before your face disappears behind a book. It took an entire month but he’s finally got his foot in the door! He could start singing if he wanted to!    

You weren’t running away anymore so Remus had some confidence that he could finally speak to you and have a proper conversation, he just needed to have the right entrance. 

“Is this seat taken?” Remus asks, holding his breath as he sees your grip on the book cover tighten. You don’t answer and simply stare up at him with your mouth agape so he sits down anyway, not too close but not too far away, “There weren’t any other seats, sorry,” you look around and immediately notice several free seats that he could have sat at. 

“U-Umm…”

“What are you reading there?” If there was one thing Remus learned from Sirius, it was that gentle persistence was key.

“...Standard book of spells, grade 5,” you reply in a soft voice, avoiding Remus’ eyes by focusing on the book in your hands. It seemed like you were both back to square one again since you completely avoided his eyes but he won’t be deterred. 

Remus has seen the large amount of parchment surrounding you when first approaching and now that he’s had a closer look, it’s easy to suspect why, “you have exams coming up?” you affirm his speculation with a hum and a nod, “would you like some help?” 

Whenever Remus saw you studying at the library, he’d take the nearest available seat and tutor you willingly, never taking ‘no’ for an answer— not that you could ever say ‘no’ to him, he wasn't even coercive; he always addressed you with the gentlest tone and with the kindest, most patient eyes you’ve ever been witness to. You were practically a puddle of gloo in the palm of his hands. That didn’t jeopardise your studies, however; Remus was an excellent teacher, better than half of the teachers in the school put together and your performance in class was skyrocketing.  

You saw Remus almost every day for three weeks and your exams were quickly approaching but, rather than become anxious over the approaching dates, you only grew excited at the prospect of proving yourself academically — it was the true Ravenclaw in you.

“Good job,” Remus praises and offers a square of chocolate that you immediately brighten at. These were one of the many highlights of your study dates with the older Gryffindor, he always carried bars of the sweet, creamy treat with him and loved conditioning you into thinking that the taste of academic success was chocolate. You had no complaints, however; you love chocolate and gave it your full, undivided attention whenever given a piece for a job well done. 

Beside you, Remus rests his chin on his palm and smiles in adoration of your precious appearance. You look too adorable eating your prized chocolate for Remus to not lovingly stare at you. It makes you all the more loveable to him and he’s grown addicted to the warm, fluttering feeling in his chest whenever you do something so lovably sweet — happily indulging in his many offerings of chocolate were one of those things. 

“Your exam is tomorrow, right?” Remus muses as you finish up your square of chocolate. 

“Yup!”

“You don’t seem worried,” lifting your gaze up, you find Remus smiling at you with such an admiring stare that you have to look away. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to such affectionate attention from someone that gives you butterflies. 

“I’m pretty confident,” 

“If you get a good grade, I’ll treat you to a butterbeer in the next Hogsmeade weekend,” his promise catches you off guard; you believed that your little ‘dates’ were restricted to school work only so his proposal and all of its implications warmed your chest like no other, “if not, then I’ll treat you to anything you want at Honeydukes,” 

“R-really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” his eyes told you everything you needed to know to trust in his words. 

With a shy nod and a soft, “alright,” the date was set; both of you knew that you were going to pass with flying colours so there wasn’t any need for such a condition — Remus should have just asked you out plain and simple but… he gets shy around you too. In a spontaneous act of courage, however, Remus leans over and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, holding your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger. 

With mutually hot cheeks, you two look into each other’s eyes with awe, “I really hope you get those grades,” he whispers just as a small assembly of gasps, encouraging shouts, shoving and hitting could be heard in the background. The marauders sat across from you, on a separate table, and saw the bold move Remus just made. And, of course, it was their job to embarrass him as much as possible by purely uplifting his romantic venture. 

“Way to go, Moony!”

“Scored a date, did ya’?! Lucky bastard!”

“Save some forehead kisses for us too, okay?” As Sirius flutters his lashes dramatically, Remus takes the book in his hand and whacks them all upside the head as you remain seated with your racing thoughts and pounding heart. 

“Shut your trap, we’re in the library,” Remus scolds, voice stern and eyes cold, a contrast to his usually soft demeanour around you. It was quite attractive seeing a different side to him. And, like clockwork, you begin to daydream of the brunette, eyes still fixed on his tall, broad figure when he turns to face you with a smile, as beautiful as can be.

You really hope you get those grades too… 

PART 3 →

A/N : this was highly requested and was also requested for my recent 1k milestone event. i'm sorry this took such a long time to write, the request was for a first date scenario and i suppose the do go on a date (several dates) in this part but it's not official, i think a third part is on its way for their real first date

TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @aastonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @neeezza101 @chaosofmanyfandoms @storyofaromance @loving-and-dreaming @somewereinthegalaxi @chullu-bhar-paani @rosalyn-s @nottherealslimshady

(again, i took the liberty of tagging people who expressed their interest for a part 2 in the first timestamp - i hope that's okay with you darlings)

[rene-darling]

BOY- you just my sneaky link

...how are they after being fucked dumb by their sneaky link? Hinted that they have more feelings for you than just being sneaky links

...cyno...kazuha...xiao...tighnari...

Cyno

He doesn't call you often but when he does he really needs you

He needs you to fuck him until he's a crying sobbing mess until he forgets all about being the general mahamatra

Because he's too fucked dumb to think he sleeps over at your house he enjoys the feeling of sleeping in the same bed as someone else it's comforting to him it makes him forget about all the awful stares he gets from people the look of horror. He likes- no loves how you don't look at him with fear

Even tho he sleeps over at your house he's always and I mean always gone before you wake up he leaves at the ass crack of sunlight

He secretly wants to stay for longer or at least until you wake up and maybe... have breakfast with you? But he's just unsure of himself or what he would do so if you want him to stay you'll have to fuck him until the ass crack of sunlight ahem you'll have to ask him before he drifts to sleep

Kazuha

He always sleeps over at your house like always

When he wakes up from out of nowhere he pulls out a hairbrush and starts combing his hair then he treats himself to a nice long bath in your bathroom

After his long bath, he decides to raid your kitchen and makes breakfast for the both of you no matter how fucked dumb he might be the night before he's always chill about it in the morning

If there's nothing in your fridge then he orders food from outside and uses your money to pay for it he swears up and down he'll repay you but he never does

He always leaves bits and pieces of his clothes around your house before he leaves to the point where whenever he comes again he dosen't need to borrow your clothes cuz he basically has a closet full of his own

Keyword doesn't need to it doesn't mean that he will oh no he always leaves your house wearing one of your clothes t-shirts hoodies etc he'll always wear something of yours he likes the smell of you covering his body whole

Xiao

Xiao does not contact you until he is actually at his limit his karmic dept feels too much he wishes to forget it even if only for a few hours

He wants to be fucked out of his brain to be fucked dumb until he's numb until his brain feels mushy and he passes out from overstimulation and exhaustion

If he wasn't fucked dumb until the sun raised then he would leave at the earliest sight of daylight but since he's fucked past that he doesn't leave as soon as the suns up

Tho sadly he always leaves as soon as he gets up much to your dismay

You urge him to leave whenever he feels like it but xiao is too nervous when his vision is not clouded by lust

Over time he only gets comfortable enough to take a nice shower in your bathroom but that's about it after he's done he puts on clothes and books it

He feels not worthy, not deserving of being closer with you other than mindless fucking he sometimes finds his mind wandering to..what if you and him were closer what if you and him were together...would you hold him in your arms after a session would you kiss him more passionately..no. he stops himself from thinking any further as he is not deserving of your love and care

But sometimes... he finds himself indulging in his wants as he holds your hand close to him while and after he drifts to sleep

Tighnari

He doesn't call you frequently but unlike some of the other boys it isn't all that rare for him to call you

When treating people because they won't listen to him and keep eating random mushrooms gets too tough he seeks you out as a relaxation method though he seems very noticeably tired to everyone around him

Collei sometimes points it out and asks him why has he been limping all day?? Why are his ears so red...? Tighnari always passes it on as him feeling under the weather

After you finish one of your steamy sessions he always stays over and when you wake up you're greeted with the sight of him sitting butt-ass naked on your vanity and grooming his tail do not question him he will and has throw a brush at you

After he demands you make him breakfast as he's too tired while he forces you to make him food as he spends his time grooming his hair and tail as it gets really frizzy after sex

When he arrives at your house he always brings a bag full of things like- he's gonna move in or something ?

Also someone who frequently takes your clothes tho when confronted fully denies it and claims it's not his problem that you're reckless and lost your hoodies

Listen he can't help it he wants to savor the smell of you..

[cepheustarot]

Your karmic task in this life

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: As the cards show, you are one of those who tend to trust public opinion and adapt to it, the opinion of those people whom you consider to be an authority is important to you, and what matters to you is how you look in the eyes of other people, how you present yourself, what they think of you from the outside. You hear a lot of voices, but you don't hear your own, you can even suppress or ignore. Here your karmic task is to pay attention to yourself, listen to yourself, because you have a very well-developed intuition and you know best what you need in this life. You need to change your priorities and at least try to listen to yourself, question other people's opinions about your life. You could also feel for yourself that if you listened to someone else, took their advice into account and acted on their words, then everything went awry, you did not move forward, but there was a feeling that you were standing still or even moving backwards. As soon as you start paying attention to yourself, your thoughts and desires, then all the doors will open in front of you, nothing will hinder you, but on the contrary it will only push you into action and help you realize your desires and dreams.

Pile 2: You are probably one of those people who rarely finish what they started, you tend to give up after the first setbacks and never come back to it. Perhaps you are prone to perfectionism, strive to do everything perfectly the first time, it is important for you to be a successful person with great achievements, so you react sharply to your own failures. Here your karmic task is to learn not to be afraid of mistakes and failures, not to be afraid to look stupid and uneducated / ignorant, on the contrary, curiosity and the desire to learn something new should lead you ahead. You don't need to be too strict with yourself, to look up to someone else's result. It is very important to learn to be less strict with yourself, take care of yourself and move at your own pace. You can also be too categorical about yourself, it is important to learn how to recognize and use your talents and abilities, because you are a very smart and capable person. Don't be afraid to start something new and take on challenges, and don't be afraid to show initiative and self-confidence, you really can do a lot.

Pile 3: Most likely, you are one of those people who find it difficult to let go of the past, get rid of unnecessary things, and may be too attached to the material. You also prefer stability and tranquility in life, are reluctant to accept changes from the outside and cannot adapt to changes for a long time. Because of this, you prefer to keep everything under your control, because this way you feel supported by yourself and you feel less fear of losing something dear to you. Your karmic task is to free yourself from the fear of loss and the need to keep everything under control. Material things and some aspects of life come and go — this is a natural process of life. It is physically impossible to foresee all the consequences, all the changes in life, and thinking through further developments of events will only increase your anxiety and tension. It is important to learn how to take changes calmly, not to be afraid of them, to relax to some extent and go with the flow, because changes  ≠ something bad, they can be an opportunity to improve your life. You need to take into account past experience and be able to move on.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 💕

[barrenclan]

you dont have to publish this ask if you don't want to. but i just wanted to say that im not sure how i really feel about ranger becoming disabled and how it could kinda be read as for audience catharsis. youre a good writer and i dont want to interpret your writing in bad faith, and obviously i dont know your full intent behind the choice to blind ranger. but a lot of the audience reaction in the replies and such made me a bit uncomfortable as a visually impaired disabled person myself. disability as a punishment for evil is a pretty common (and ableist) trope. i dont think you really did it to the extent its done in other media (especially with a character like daffodilpaw as a good guy. like death, disability affects everyone, good and bad) but yeah the audience reaction made me a little uncomfortable that they were viewing it as deserved or cathartic or punishing. it especially didnt sit very well with me when paired up with hacksaw, his partner and another very evil character having lost a chunk of her wing just before. like i said at the start you dont have to publish this ask if you dont want to. i dont know how the story is going to go, and pinepaws injury could very well impact him in the future for example. but i figured i should voice my current in-the-moment discomfort, especially if it helps you in your future writing endeavors. otherwise, i really liked the new issue!

Since this was asked about twice I will go ahead and publish it; and say that firstly, I really appreciate you both bringing up your concerns and going about it in a very polite way. I don't want anyone to feel afraid to bring things up about the story or put me on a pedestal, I'm not a perfect person just because you like my stories.

And in terms of your asks themselves - I honestly do apologize that it came off that way, I didn't intend at all to play into the trope of disability as a karmic punishment for evil. I'm not disabled myself, or at least not in the visual or mobile way, so it is likely just an actual blindspot for me in terms of my writing. Disability is absolutely not a punishment for anything, and if you're blind or missing a limb there is nothing wrong with you at all.

If knowing my thought process helps at all, here's how I came to that story decision:

I want Ranger and Hacksaw to try to attack Pinepaw but both have their arrogance that's been building for the whole story checked. Also, it needs to be in some way that actually hinders them so they don't just keep attacking. -> Well, I don't want them to die, because I have things I want to do with their characters after the event ends. So, what would be an interesting and symbolic injury that takes them off the table? -> Hacksaw's main source of attacking other people is by divebombing them, so losing a wing would really impact her sense of strength. And, Ranger relies on outward control so much that losing his sight would damage a lot of his ego as well. There are some things about the characters I can't talk about just yet which, depending on your opinions, might change how you feel, but those were my general ideas.

I completely didn't realize how easy it to fall into that trope and I'm very sorry that it made you uncomfortable, that was very much not my intention. Like you said it's so normalized in media that most people don't even think about it - and certainly something I'll be more aware of next time I write anything like this.

[readingswithselene]

Everything you need to know about your future spouse right now

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hey, thank you so much for choosing my reading.

🕯️As always, take what resonates and leave the rest🕯️

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🤎Pile 1 - the Violine🤎

Cards: Empress, moon, sun, page of pentacles, knight of wands, world, devil, chariot, seven of cups, three of pentacles

Hello Pile, 1, let’s take a look into your reading:

This group must deal with a karmic partner before they meet your future spouse. This is most likely a person you already know and have been in some type of relationship/situationship with.

This person could seem to be like the perfect partner in the beginning. Extrovert, open, charming, and treating you like the empress, practically worshipping the ground you are walking on. But this person has some type of duality to them, switching between the sun and the devil. And you already know about this. You probably have lots of anxiety, sometimes feeling that this person seems too good to be true while you know exactly that something is very off with the person. My mind went extremely foggy as I write this, and it gets really hard to even concentrate.

With this person it can be that you are living in some type of illusion, only trying to see the positive while the devil himself is speaking to you as soon as they open their mouth. This person might be overly obsessed with material goods (some may even be gold diggers?)

So, this is either a person you are currently involved with or someone you have already parted ways with. For most of you I don’t see this to be a person that is coming into your life in the future.

If the first case applies to your situation, you know exactly what you should do, cause this person is not YOUR person. Your person will fit you like a glove in all the best way possible.

If you have already split ways with this person all you need it to be patient and make sure, that this person stays in the past where they belong. To every one of you who thought about calling them up again – this is your sign to definitely not do this!

Pile 1, you basically can do nothing but be patient and believe that everything will be happen at divine timing.

I wish you the very best💕.

Signs that this reading is for you: red car, violins, party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, steven and taylor from TSITP (specifically their dance scene), water parks, thinking about getting your car checked, a football, yellow smileys, savoy cabbage, telephone by lady gaga, Naya Rivera, Kurt Hummel

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💛Pile 2 - the letters💛

Cards: the fool, knight of cups, knight of pentacles, page of swords, 8 of wands, two of wands, tower, ten of wands, 5 of wands Hello pile 2, let’s dive deep into your reading.

First of all, your future spouse is an entirely new person to you. Might be someone who lives currently at a distance from your and/or someone you might meet on vacation or while moving abroad. With the 8 of wands your person may be come into your life as a huge surprise, fully out of the blue when you least expect it.

I also got the feeling that this might be happen way sooner than you think right now. For the ones of you (this is not for everybody) who are currently manifesting their FS, congratulations your manifestations work out perfectly. But please try to obsess about this person a little less ;) the Universe will deliver your FS on divine timing.

Either you or your future partner (or the both of you) is not very experienced regarding long term relationships, even though I rather feel that this is about your FS. This does not mean that they have never dated someone before you, but simply that they never had a relationship where they were really vulnerable at open with the other party. Your person comes off as someone who seems rather harsh with their words, you may often feel criticized by them even though they did not intend to deliver their words this way. Your Fs may was an equestrian when they were in elementary / middle school.

This person has had their fair share of traumatic experiences which shaped them the way they are, coming of as harsh and rude in order to protect themselves. It’s literally giving “looks like they could kill you, is a cinnamon roll”. Aww, pile 2, your person really is a softie deep down, but you will have to peel them like an onion, to really get to know this layer of your person. This person felt misunderstood in their early years a lot.

I also get kind of prince charming /Disney vibes from them. Like someone who loves to play knight in shining armour and your savior. It will be really important to your person that you make them feel like they are the only one for you. As soon as they have the feeling you might be entertaining someone else, they will be leaving. Really insecure at heart.

They might be having some tattoos, but nothing spontaneous since it feels like your person is not the risky type. Every tattoo they have has some type of meaning for them (but others may not really get it). Most of these tattoos are on their arms and legs. Motive wise they tend to get for animal motives (butterfly, dolphins, tigers are the images that popped up in my head).

There might be an age gap between the two of you but nothing to wild (probably 5 to 10 years at max)

The energy of this reading was by far my most favorite one, since everything felt so calm and kinda set but also really passionate at the same time ;)

Hope you enjoyed your reading, Pile 2, wish you all the best.

Signs that this message is for you: smoothies, plums, random noises, orange, emergency lights, whats app group chats, “papa was a rolling stone”, baby blue cars with a white roof, moustache, travis kelce, caterpillar, rainbow, you could be part of the LGBTQ+ community, cardigan, your sister offering something to you, light car accidents,

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🩶Pile 3- the chess🩶

Cards: the fool, page of cups, tower, ace of wands, 5 of wands, the emperor, justice, 8 of pentacles, 5 of cups, the chariot.

Hello pile 3, let’s start with some basic things about your future spouse before we dive into your relationship dynamic :)

The very first thing I heard about your future spouse is, that this is an entirely new person to you. I don’t know if you have watched pretty little liars, but your future spouse is giving me major Toby Cavanaugh vibes (if you haven’t watched the show, I suggest you look up the character online).

It could also be that your FS is be a Cop or a craftsman (might not apply for everyone). With the emperor card coming out for you, it also seems like your future spouse is someone stable and/or financially well off.

So, let’s get a deeper look in your dynamic as a couple: As written above, your future things are someone with a pleasant amount of money – so get ready to be spoiled ;) gift giving is probably their love language, but I see them rather making you the gifts by themselves than spending money of jewelry or perfume or something like this. It is more like Toby gifting Spencer the chair he has built for her.

Ya’ll are going to be a very happy couple; I saw lots of pink tones which means you could still be wearing your rose-colored glasses after years being of being with each other. You could also love spending time near large water bodies (at the beach, on a boat or you are going to live in a city near the ocean or a famous lake with them).

I did not get that much on your relationship dynamic itself, but I got an important warning for you: with the tower card and the 5 of cups you will need to leave your past completely behind to make your relationship work. Crying and reminiscing about ex-lovers, past situationships or anything of that kind will highly exacerbate your future with your FS.

At some point (could be at the beginning of your Relationship or in the middle if you still are with one foot in the past at that point), there will be a tower moment because of your past, which will lead to you making the choice to fully close these chapters and focus on your new partner (since I did not get any cards that suggest that you will break up, I believe that there won’t be a break up or partially split because of this tower moment) The two of you are each other’s end game, and your future spouse is your promised new opportunity of finding the love and luck you deserve.

I wish you all the best, pile 3. You totally got this.

Signs that this message is for you: black cat, game of thrones (especially the iron throne), the colors green and pink, 999, sunscreen (SPF 50+), color red, dried flowers, circles, “to the stars who listen and the dreams that are answered”, Rhysand from Acotar, Ben Barnes, pumpkin spice late, cheddar cheese, sunflower, compass, chess game

[paper-mario-wiki]

It only recently occurred to me that the Garden of Eden Creation Kits, or G.E.C.K. devices in Fallout, stand as a karmic opposite to the symbol of the nuclear bomb.

The nuclear bomb is effective as a weapon is a two stage attack. First there's the boom. An invention the size of a small car, in a flash so short you wouldn't even be able to think about it before being vaporized if you were anywhere within 2 miles of where it was, and you'd be lucky to live longer than 10 minutes if you weren't at least 10 miles away. An unstoppable, unhaltable fire that burns hot enough to vaporize anything even remotely alive instantly, and it's the size of a city before you have enough time to say "oh my god look at that". And then, after this devastating, all consuming flame goes out, the decay left over from that little drop of metal leaves the earth, the water, the sky, and all other physical domains completely uninhabitable for YEARS. It instantly creates a domain so remarkably dangerous that it becomes a global landmark. I'd say that it is only slightly hyperbolic in a cheesey poetic way that what a nuclear bomb does is create the closest thing to literal hell on earth that humans are currently capable (whether by scientific limitation, or by moral unwillingness) of creating.

On the other hand, the G.E.C.K., a sleek silver briefcase the size of a 2005 laptop, acts as a compact seed to create a stable, healthy environment, with enough power in a hyper-dense coal fusion battery to power a city. A succinct utopia in a box. In early depictions this was described as hyper resilient seeds, chemical mixtures to create viable soil, instructions for how to disassemble and reuse shelters to become extremely resilient and powerful new world places of safety, as well as vast documents on the details and assembly of advanced and highly efficient technologies like force fields. In later games, it was increased to something of a mythical item, capable of literally terraforming miles of earth down to the molecular level to be safe for habitation, as well as the ability to replicate anything you might need in terms of rations or supplies. In its own way, it is mankind's best attempt (at least in the Fallout universe) to create a massive-scale utopia in as small of a box, that creates as close to a heaven on earth, as possible. And it's even got a biblical tie-in right in the name. I think that's very fitting.