#So Stede is going to come back‚ he isn’t going to leave Ed alone in the dark (again)

[opqrstuv04]

Also wait, the way Stede says “wait for me” and flails off into the woods after asking if ED wants to come with HIM 🫥🫥🫥 you KNOW Ed was reliving alllllll the emotions about being left on the dock! And he STILL WAITS because deep down he STILL TRUSTS STEDE!!! NOBODY TOUCH ME

[seikilos-stele]

There are many different ways to define the “main character” of a story, but the one I found most useful growing up is this: “the main character is the one who grows the most.” Sometimes, that means your POV character isn’t the main character. By nature, whoever grows the most will be the one audiences are drawn to; this is why audiences frequently gravitate toward side characters in ongoing tv shows; because we sense the capacity for more growth in Sidekick #3 than in Hero #1. To cope with this, the writer’s room will typically push Sidekick #3 out of the story entirely or will coax him into the spotlight and develop storylines just for him, thereby making him into a main character.

This is what we saw in OFMD. Ed and Stede were the main characters of S1. They had plenty of growth ahead of them and audiences were excited to see that teased out. Stede — selfish, out of touch, gentlemanly — longed to remake himself into a fearsome pirate. Ed — jaded, bored, infamously badass — longed to leave piracy behind and find something more meaningful. He didn’t yet know what would be most meaningful for him, and we were excited to watch Ed and Stede meet and figure it out together.

However, at the same time, the writers gave us Sidekick #3 — Izzy. Humorless, snarling, rage-filled, Izzy was your stereotypical henchman. This put him at immense odds with the rest of the cast. While everyone else, including Blackbeard, Fang, and Ivan, took to Stede’s management style, Izzy chafed under it and lashed out. Already, we can see that he has a lot of growing to do before he can get on the same level as the rest of the crew. That alone makes Izzy interesting, from an audience perspective. But what really enhances it is Con O’Neill’s performance — he brings an interiority to Izzy that’s lacking from the other characters; from his expressions to the intonation of dialogue, Con is always hinting that there’s something more to Izzy than what meets the eye.

Fans noticed. What exactly is going on inside this weird angry little rat? Why is he so furious all the time, and why is he so loyal to Ed? What will it take for him to let go of that anger and be part of the crew? By setting Izzy apart from the cast, the writers automatically set him up for an arc of growth. In S2, we watched that growth arc come into full swing. From E1-6, Izzy is on a constant climb up that hill to be part of the crew. We watch him take a bullet for the crew in E1, then attempt suicide in E2; we watch him try and fail to save the crew from execution in E3; in E4 Izzy is given a new leg and embraces his role as the ship’s figurehead. In E5 he works to train Stede and gives advice to Lucius on letting go of trauma. In E6 he embraces drag and performs in front of the crew. We see him, throughout S2, physically leaning on his crewmates and even crying in their arms — acts that S1 Izzy would never do. And we see him grappling with his relationship with Ed, admitting his love for him, mutinying against him, finding who he is without him.

By contrast, in S2, Ed’s and Stede’s growth hit a roadblock. As an Ed fan in particular, it was tough to watch him stagnate and backslide in this season. He makes no effort toward growth or change, and his efforts to leave Blackbeard behind are displayed not as growth but as a form of cowardice — running away from his problems rather than facing them head-on. Stede, at first, seems to be making progress. He makes strides as a pirate and even attains fame. But this progress toward his goals does nothing for his personal growth. Instead, it seems to catapult Stede back into his least-savory self from S1: selfish, out of touch, and vain. He and Ed enable each other in their determination NOT to grow, while Izzy fights for growth in every episode leading up to the finale.

This, essentially, is why so many fans believed Izzy was a main character. And it’s a good part of why so many fans were shocked when Izzy was killed off to service Ed’s growth, and his relationship with Stede. We spent a whole season watching him be the main character, only to be told at the end that he was really just Sidekick #3 all along. This strikes me as dishonest and unskilled, like the writers were working off intuition — good intuition, granted, for most of the season — without any real understanding or intentionality behind their decisions. They were working off what “felt” right without interrogating why it felt right, and when they hit the season finale, all those instinctive, thoughtless decisions came crashing down. The rubble left behind is difficult to sort through and honestly doesn’t make much sense. And, as an audience, we’re left with a season-long growth arc that was bafflingly cut off before it could culminate — and a prospective S3 where one of the main characters is dead and buried, after only a single season to shine.

[munsonkitten]

Izzy Hands has almost met his end on more than one occasion. More than half of which were probably Ed’s own doing, if he’s being completely honest with himself. Each of those times, Izzy crawls out of wherever he’s found himself, right back to barking orders. Every single time. Right back to work like nothing ever happened. 

Part of him knew that when he handed Izzy that gun. He definitely knew that when he shot him in the knee. Izzy makes it out, he perseveres. He doesn’t give up because he’s an indestructible little fucker that Ed can’t kill. 

That’s just the thing about it, though, isn’t it? Ed didn’t do it this time. 

And that’s why Izzy’s underneath the soil they buried him in, beneath the cross they fashioned out of his wooden leg and a stick they found. His cravat hanging around it, his mother’s ring glistening in the sunlight. 

Ed spends a lot of time out there, sitting by Izzy like he’s still there. Because the truth is, he just can’t let him go. That’s why he took over that house on the beach where Izzy was laid to rest. That’s why he’s given up pirating to stay near him. It’s why he couldn’t let them toss Izzy into the sea like he probably would’ve wanted. 

“Today Stede and me, we patched up the roof of our new inn,” Ed tells him, like Izzy can hear. It just feels like the thing to do when sitting next to someone’s grave, so they don’t feel so alone down there. Sometimes Ed thinks that’s the reason why he’s never been able to just sit with himself, why it felt so wrong to do it in that boat with Fang. 

It’s because the whole sea is a graveyard of men he knew once upon a time. 

“Ed, dear,” Stede’s voice rings out from the house. “Come inside, now, love. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Ed sighs, sniffles, and wipes the tears he didn’t realize were falling. It’s silly, really. He knew Izzy would die some day. He was almost the cause of it on multiple occasions and didn’t feel a thing when it happened those times. 

But now, Ed himself feels like a dead man walking. 

He’s missing a limb, missing his right hand. And the thing is, the thing that really hurts most, is that the person he wants to talk to most about it, is the person who’s dead. 

“Coming,” Ed calls back. 

He pushes himself up off the ground, his bad knee aching from sitting on it wrong this whole time. He doesn’t know how long he’s been out here, but he knows that it’s dinner time now and he came out after they fixed the roof, which was sometime after lunch. 

He’s grateful that Stede is giving him the time to mourn, giving him this time to talk with Izzy when he needs to. When things just get so jumbled up in his head he can’t make sense of them, Izzy was the one that took those things and turned them into plans and got Ed’s head on straight enough to execute them. 

They were Blackbeard. Not just Ed. Both of them. 

And Ed likes being Ed, he does. Blackbeard wasn’t him, and it can’t be him without Izzy by his side. 

He just… Wishes that Izzy could come with Ed. That they could be EdandIzzy together, just as they were Blackbeard together. 

As he takes his first step back up toward the wooden house, a lone seagull swoops down from the sky and lands on the top of the cross. It coos at him, bobbing its head up and down as it stretches out and shakes off its wet wings. It closes them again, curling in on itself comfortably.

The seagull’s been around, Ed’s seen it, and through the haze of his grief he thinks that it’s nice that something comes to keep Izzy company when Ed’s away. 

“That bird won’t leave him alone,” Stede says when Ed comes in. He’s wiping his hands on a dish towel, looking out through the open door with that look on his face. That confused one he’s directed at Ed a few times. Puzzles he can’t quite figure out. “Do you think it’s going to eat him? Do sea birds do that?”

“I dunno, mate,” Ed sighs. “Reckon they probably do.”

He pulls off his jacket and hangs it on one of the hooks Stede nailed to the wall. 

“That’s unfortunate,” Stede says, turning back to look at Ed. His face goes from confusion to something soft. Something sad. “How are you today, love?”

“A bit shit, honestly,” Ed answers. “It’s… all a bit shit.”

“I know it is, Edward,” Stede says. He opens up his arms and lets Ed fall into them, one of his hands coming up to cradle Ed’s head. It makes Ed feel small, cared for. 

“I’m sorry,” Ed sniffles. “I love this place, I love that we’re here. I just wish…”

“I know, darling,” Stede whispers. “You don’t have to be sorry. Not to me.”

Ed nods and pulls away from the hug, instead bending down to unlace his boots. Stede told him last night they should wear their shoes in the house until they make sure the floor is safe, but it’s a goddamn house, and Ed will take off his shoes if he damn well pleases. What’s a little rusty nail through his foot when the pain in his heart is so much worse. 

“Well, I’m going to finish up supper,” Stede says. “I’ll leave you to that.”

“Thank you,” Ed says, short and quick to send Stede back off to the other side of the house. 

He knows he’s not being the best partner right now. He knows that. But he just doesn’t know how to explain it all to Stede. 

Yes, he loves Stede. He really, truly does. He’d give up piracy and shave his beard a million times over for him, there’s no debate on that. He just didn’t think he’d have to go through life without Izzy. Not like this. Sure, he could give up pirating and send Izzy on his way, but the fucker would always come back, that much Ed is certain of. He would make up excuses to dock and spend the night in Ed’s inn, to drink through the night. It’s always been part of the fantasy. 

Every time he imagines his life, Izzy is there in every single outcome. And sure, he’s here now. He’s buried in the dirt a few meters away. That’s not how Ed ever wanted it. 

He loves Stede and he always will, but he loved Izzy, too. Best he could. Always did. 

Now, he feels like the best he could wasn’t really the whole of it. It was right at the end where his chest was cold and clenching and his chin wouldn’t stop wobbling and his brain went full of so much fog he thinks it had to have been coming out of his ears, where he realized he couldn’t live without Izzy Hands. His family stood behind him, sure, but Izzy was the only one that mattered right then. 

He’s felt lost ever since and he doesn’t know how that could possibly be because Stede is guiding him through it. Stede is cooking dinner and he makes sure Ed is taken care of, and he held him last night while they slept on their little bed together, and it’s still… It’s still not enough. 

And it should be enough. It should be enough that he has Stede, and he shouldn’t be so broken up about Izzy dying because it was always going to happen. 

Ed just thought he’d go first or shortly after. All these years he thought that he would die with Izzy Hands. But that was just Blackbeard. Blackbeard is the only one dying with Izzy Hands, and Edward Teach is still here. Forced to rewrite his own story when the scenes in his head feel like staring at a blank wall. 

Life after Izzy Hands is a blank wall, a lighthouse with no fire. He’s going to crash up on the rocks because he fell in love with an anchor that he couldn’t hold onto. 

“Ed, darling?” Stede calls out again. 

Ed snaps himself out of it. He comes back to the little wooden house with its splintered floorboards and its dirty walls. He pushes his boots over to the side, lines them up side by side next to the door they had to fix when they first arrived. 

Fixing things helps. The door latch needed fixing, so Ed did that. The roof needed fixing so he climbed right up there. Their bedroom window was broken so Ed boarded it up until they can find new glass for it. 

He can fix these things, so he does. 

He walks on socked feet into the kitchen to find Stede there. He ladles something into a bowl, something that Zheng taught him to make with the ingredients and utensils Roach gave from the Revenge’s kitchen. Ed sits down at the table he took with them, something tucked away in the room that was holding all his remaining treasure. There wasn’t much after Calypso’s party, but there was enough to get them started in their little house. 

“I was thinking we should call our inn Izzy’s. A way to honor him,” Stede says as he sets a bowl in front of Ed. “How does that sound to you, dear?”

“Think he’d have fuckin’ hated it,” Ed says. “Sounds good to me.”

Stede takes the spot across from him at the table, his own bowl steaming in front of him. Ed looks down at the bits of meat and the noodles swirling around in the broth. 

He isn’t really hungry, but Stede’s going to tell him to eat, so he does. It’s good fucking soup. 

“Izzy would’ve liked this,” Ed says. 

“Well, thank you,” Stede says. “It was Zheng’s recipe, but I don’t think I could do it like her.”

“No, I mean,” Ed says, shaking his head. “He would’ve liked this. All of it. Having a home here, fixing it up, being right by the beach. Wish he could’ve had this. He deserved to have this.”

When Ed looks up from his bowl, Stede’s looking at him with a sad smile and glistening eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just nods and reaches across the table to take one of Ed’s hands in his own. 

“I know he was kind of a dick,” Ed says. “You don’t have to pretend he wasn’t, or name your inn after him. I get it, babe, I do. He was a fucking dick, and I miss him, but you don’t have to.”

“He was your dick, Edward,” Stede says, then shakes his head. Ed can’t even crack a smile at it. “I just mean, he was often blunt, and he thought of me as quite the moron, but… You love him, and these last few weeks, I was able to see another side of him. I started to understand that the way he said things didn’t always mean he was mad or aiming to hurt, not all the time, and I know that if I had more time, I would start to fully understand why you love him so.”

“Loved,” Ed whispers. 

“Your love doesn’t have to go away just because he’s gone, Edward,” Stede says softly. “He’s still in your heart. Always will be, darling. And that’s okay.”

“I love you,” Ed whispers. Because he has to say it, has to tell Stede that it’s true because it is. He loves Stede so it shouldn’t matter that he’s lost Izzy. 

“I know you do,” Stede says. “You can love more than one person, darling. It doesn’t mean you love me less, or that you have to let go of him. I’ve always known that he would be part of our lives, part of our love, no matter what form that may have taken. I just feel horrible that it has to be this way.”

Ed nods, even if he knows Stede is giving him more than he deserves, just saying all of that, implying what he’s implying, because nothing can come from it. What Ed wants, what he thinks he’s always wanted, can never be given to him. 

That’s why Stede’s words don’t wash away the pain or guilt. Because Ed would want them both if Izzy were still here. Now that he knows what it’s like to not have him at all. 

“Finish your dinner, Edward,” Stede says softly. Gentle in a way Ed loves. “I think we should turn in early tonight.”

They finish up and Ed helps Stede clean up the dishes and put them away in the cupboards. He likes keeping busy, scrubbing their bowls cleaner than they have to be. He can look right out the front window above the wash basin and see Izzy’s grave from here. The seagull is still sitting there, just politely sitting. No scavenging for bones or flesh beneath the dirt. 

“Didn’t you say Buttons turned into a seagull?” Stede asks, nudging Ed with his elbow. 

Ed nods, and he looks out there again. The bird is looking right at them, black eyes staring right into Ed’s soul, if he even has one anymore. 

“No fuckin way,” Ed whispers. “You don’t think…”

“Darling, it was just a little joke,” Stede says. 

“No, but he really did,” Ed says. “That’s him out there. Certain of it.”

“I’ve told you, love, that’s not possible,” Stede says, resting a hand over Ed’s forearm. Ed stops scrubbing at the bowl in his hand. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

He stands there for a second longer, staring down that bird, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. 

Stede drags him away from the kitchen and pulls him over to the other room. He helps Ed with his pants, pulls them off his legs and leaves them in a pile of leather on the floor. Ed settles into their bed and scoots over to the wall, watching as Stede undresses. 

When Stede settles in beside him and faces him, his eyes ask a question, one Ed has seen countless times now. He nods, just a small little thing, and leans in to press his lips to Stede’s. He’ll never get tired of this, of kissing the man he loves. 

“Goodnight Edward,” Stede whispers when he pulls away. “Get some sleep.”

His arm settles heavily over Ed’s waist when he turns over to press his back to Stede’s chest. He curls in on himself, letting himself feel small again, like he did back when he and Izzy were younger, sharing a hammock on Hornigold’s ship, seeking comfort after the horrible days they endured. 

It’s always been hard for Ed to fall asleep, but tonight he welcomes it easily. 

That doesn’t mean it’s easy for him to stay asleep. 

Izzy’s in his dream, the memory of him clutching the bullet wound on his stomach, hands turning red with the blood spilling out. In his dream he leans down and kisses Izzy’s forehead, his cheek, his lips, in those last moments, what he had wanted to do. He whispers I love you, please don’t leave me, Iz, like he should’ve said. I love you and I’m sorry. I love you, I love you. 

Because he’s allowed to. Stede said he’s allowed to love Izzy, but loving Izzy like this hurts. It’s painful, knowing that it doesn’t keep him alive in the end. 

He wakes up crying. 

Something full bodied and overpowering. Sobs shaking every part of him. Choking him, like a rope pulled taut around his neck. He can’t breathe, can’t see through his tears. 

“You’re alright, darling,” Stede whispers. He’s sitting up behind Ed, his chest pressed up against his back, but Ed can’t feel him. Can barely hear him. 

“What are you fuckers cryin’ about,” comes a rasp from across the room. “Christ, you’d think someone fuckin’ died.”

And no. No, no, no. 

“Wake up, Ed, wake up,” he tells himself. “Wake up.”

“You’re awake, Edward.” And that’s Izzy’s voice again, but it can’t be. It can’t be. 

“Izzy?” Stede whispers. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Izzy says. 

And no, it can’t be him. It can’t be because Izzy’s dead, they buried him. He’s buried out in the yard. Dead, gone. Dead. 

Ed’s eyes start to adjust in the darkness, in the faint light of the moon coming in through the open bedroom door. The door that Stede shut before they fell asleep. He scans the room until he sees him in the corner, there in the chair Stede put in their bedroom for whatever reason. 

He’s sitting there. Izzy’s sitting there, adjusting the buckles on his wooden leg. 

“I guess this is where I thank you for not tossing me into the sea tied to a cannonball,” Izzy says. “Was hard enough digging myself out of that shallow grave. You know I would’ve washed right out of that thing if it rained? What then, Edward? I doubt your boyfriend would’ve liked cleaning that up.”

“What are you—”

“Oh, Edward,” Izzy says. “Didn’t you learn anything during your own brush with death?”

The gravy basket. Purgatory. 

“I was stuck somewhere,” Izzy says. “And then I heard your crying. Oh Izzy, please don’t go. Izzy, I'm so sorry. Figured I should probably see what all that was about.”

Ed climbs out of bed, leaving Stede where he is. He takes a few steps toward Izzy, reaching out just to make sure he’s real. To make sure he’s really there. He reaches out until his hand comes in contact with the scratchy little hairs on Izzy’s cheek. He slides his hand down to cup his chin, the beard there. 

“You want me to pinch you?” Izzy offers, his voice low and quiet in the dark room. They’re all so quiet, the sounds of nothing but their breathing and the waves crashing outside. 

“You’re really back?” Ed asks. 

“I’m really back, Edward. I believe you were the one that called me an indestructible little fucker.”

Ed laughs, something choked and wet. He falls down to his knees, his hands settling on Izzy’s thighs. He drops his head, sobs forcing their way out of his body, choked and strangled. A gloved hand rests in his head. 

“Oh, get up, you twat,” Izzy says. It’s laced with something that sounds like affection coming from Izzy Hands. From anyone else it would be an insult, a knife in the gut. From Izzy, it’s everything Ed thought he’d never get to have ever again. 

He doesn’t get up, just pushes himself closer, pushes his face into Izzy’s stomach, the spot where the wound is, and Izzy winces. 

“Not healed, you fucker. Just because I’m back from the dead doesn’t mean I wasn’t there,” Izzy grunts. 

“I don’t get it,” Ed cries. “I don’t get how you’re here.”

“It’s harder than that to kill me, Eddie,” Izzy whispers, the name bringing back the memory of his last words. Ed thinks he’d kill anyone else for calling him that, but not Izzy. “Wasn’t gonna let that fucking moron be the death of me.”

“If I may interrupt—” Stede says from behind Ed. “Izzy, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”

“Sorry for dragging dirt through your lovely home, Bonnet,” Izzy says in that way that says he isn’t sorry at all. 

“Up you go, c’mon,” Stede says. “We have a lovely bathtub. Allow me to warm some water while Ed helps you undress.”

Stede lights a few candles before leaving the room, illuminating them in the orange glow of fire. Izzy has seen better days, that’s for sure. He’s caked in dirt and blood, and he looks like he’s about to keel over at any second. 

He helps him with his clothes, carefully unbuttons his shirt and pulls it off his shoulders. He can see the wound now, the crusted blood and the hole in his abdomen. It’s in a bad spot, but as Ed looks at it, he sees how Izzy could’ve survived it. He can see it more clearly now, where it is, how he likely fell unconscious due to blood loss instead of anything important being hit. 

There’s probably still a chance of him dying. From infection, most likely. From not being able to eat or keep anything down, also likely. 

“Bath’s actually quite shit,” Ed says for something to do. “Not as nice as the one on the Revenge.”

Izzy just nods, standing there with his hand braced on the wall while Ed moves to the laces on his pants. 

“Are you sure Bonnet’s okay with you getting in my pants?” Izzy croaks. 

“Hush, Izzy,” Ed says. He doesn’t feel like now is the time to talk about it. It’s not the time to talk about it. 

He gets Izzy undressed and gathers the clothes into a pile. They're British uniform clothes. They didn’t want to undress him just to bury him, so Ed has his old stuff tucked away in his trunk at the foot of the bed. He has them, and he’ll give them back when Izzy’s clean. Maybe for tonight, though, Ed will suggest one of Stede’s night shirts for Izzy to sleep in. Something easy to get on and off, something that will offer easier access to his wound. 

“Do you want the leg back on?” Ed asks, trying not to look as Izzy stands there on one foot, naked save from the cravat around his neck, the ring secure above the knot. He’ll let Izzy take that off if he wants to. 

“Just help me hobble,” Izzy says. 

With an arm around Izzy’s waist, Ed helps him jump toward the little bathroom across from the bedroom. Stede’s in there, pouring a bucket of water into the large basin. He looks over his collection of bath oils, running his fingers along the carefully labeled bottles before picking one up and pulling out the stopper. 

“Should I leave you to it?” Stede asks. 

“No,” Ed and Izzy say at the same time. They look at each other and Izzy shrugs. 

“Right,” Stede says, looking at a loss for words. “Well, in you go, then. Shouldn’t be too hot”

Ed helps Izzy over the ledge and gently lowers him down. 

“Fuck,” Izzy groans. “Haven’t had a bath in fucking ever.”

“It’s quite nice, isn’t it?” Stede says softly. 

He’s wringing his hands as he stands there, like he’s way out of his depth right now. Ed wants to reassure him, but he doesn’t really know what to say. He can’t shake the shock of his first mate coming back from the dead, crawling his way out of his grave and into his bedroom. He feels like he’s going to wake up from this dream and find himself back in his nightmare. 

Instead of saying anything, Ed takes one of the wash clothes Stede set out and dips it into the water next to Izzy’s knee, the one that just ends. Because of something he did to him. 

He can fix this. He can fix this now, one step at a time. Just like he fixed the door latch, boarded up the window, and climbed up on the roof. Just like how he’s going to fix the floorboards in the entryway tomorrow and find another bed in town to slide into place next to his and Stede’s so all three of them can fit in it together. Even though now isn’t the time to talk about that. 

He can fix this. He’s good at fixing things, especially when Izzy’s involved. 

“Alright, there, Eddie?” Izzy asks, soft and concerned. 

Ed has his hand still submerged in water, lost in his thoughts while he stares down at the stump of Izzy’s knee. 

“I’m perfect, Iz,” Ed says. 

He pulls the washcloth out of the water and gets to work, slowly wiping away the blood caked around his wound, just gently dabbing as it comes loose from his skin and the hair on his body. Izzy winces, but doesn’t say anything. Grips Ed’s arm but doesn’t push him away. 

He’s always been good at handling pain. It just breaks Ed’s heart that he can’t take it all away. That’s something he can’t really fix. 

“I’m sorry Edward,” Izzy says. 

“No,” Ed whispers. He squeezes out the towel and brings it to Izzy’s face. “No.”

“Yes,” Izzy insists. “I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

“You’re back now,” Ed whispers. “You’re back now.”

And even if Izzy doesn’t make it, at least Ed has more time with him. At least he can say what should’ve said, and done what he wanted to do. Not right now, not this very second, but he will. He has more time. 

Stede rests a hand on his shoulder, warm and reassuring. Behind him, he has his guiding light, and in front of him he has his anchor. He needs them both because without one, he’ll just be adrift forever, and without the other, he’ll crash up on the rocks. 

After Izzy’s as clean as he can be, they both help him out and set him down on a stool to dry him off. Stede talks, says something about getting him a leg custom-made to fit him and his needs, and Ed just listens. He listens as Izzy huffs, watches as he rolls his eyes and mutters stupid fucking Stede Bonnet under his breath, and he sees the smile on Stede’s lips like he’s missed this too. 

“Thank you for doing this,” Izzy says after a while. “You didn’t have to do any of this.”

“We care about you, Izzy,” Stede says, helping Izzy into a long sock. “Ed hasn’t been himself since you left us.”

“I feel like I’ve had this same conversation with you,” Izzy says. 

“Yes, well,” Stede sighs. “It appears that he needs both of us. Isn’t that right, love?”

Stede’s looking at him now, waiting for an answer. 

Ed nods. “Yeah, guess so.”

“I’m going to give you two a moment while I figure out sleeping arrangements,” Stede says, pushing himself up to stand. He squeezes Ed’s shoulder. “You should tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Izzy grunts when Stede’s left and shut the door behind him. 

“It wasn’t the same without you, mate,” Ed says. “I didn’t realize I’d miss you so much.”

It’s vulnerable. It’s hard to say. He knows he needs to say it, to let it all out. Stede said it was okay to love more than one person at a time. He thinks of Jim, of Archie and Oluwande and Zheng. How they’ve all fallen into each other and seem to make it work just fine. 

“And I, well, I fear I might love you,” Ed blurts out, all in a rush. 

“You fear?” Izzy scoffs. 

“Hey, now, I’m trying to… I’m being serious, mate,” Ed says. “I wasn’t good to you, I know that. I know that I’m the reason you lost your leg, and I know I went a bit crazy back there, but I… I can’t live without you, Iz. I tried, and I knew I wasn’t going to last long like this.”

“What about Stede?” Izzy asks. 

“He said I can love more than one person,” Ed tells him. “That loving you doesn’t mean I love him less, and loving him doesn’t mean I can’t love you. It’s… Fuck, I don’t expect it to be easy, but it’ the truth.”

“And what am I supposed to do with this truth, Edward?” Izzy asks. “I’m supposed to split you with Bonnet? Leave the room every time you want to dock your ship in his harbor, eh?”

Ed snorts. He can’t help it. “Don’t know about all that. I just know that I want you around while I figure it all out.”

“What do you want me to say to that?”

“Say you’ll stay,” Ed says. “Say you’ll love me, too.”

“Edward, I’ve loved you for thirty years,” Izzy says. “Didn’t take you almost dying for me to figure it out.”

“I know, Iz, I know,” Ed says. “I don’t expect you to just forgive me for everything, or to jump into my arms, okay? I just… I just needed you to know. I just need you to stay.”

“Don’t know where else I’d go. Didn’t see any boats on that beach,” Izzy mutters. “Fine, Ed, yes, I’ll stay. But… What about Bonnet?”

“You keep asking about Stede,” Ed says. “Might start to think you’re in love with him, too, mate.”

Izzy scowls at him, but his cheeks turn pink in the candlelight, and oh. 

“You two got close, didn’t you?” Ed asks gently. “That’s nice. He cares for you, you know.”

Izzy swats at him half heartedly and Ed finally stands from where he’s crouched down. He helps Izzy stand, the night shirt Stede put over his head, falling down to hang beneath his knees. 

They open the door to see Stede standing on the other side. He takes over on Izzy’s other side, his arm coming around his waist and crossing over Ed’s.

“There you both are,” Stede says. “Was about to come check on you.”

Stede guides them back to the bedroom, and Ed sees a bunch of blankets and sheets laid out on the floor, one of the pillows at the top of the makeshift bed. 

“You two take the bed tonight,” Stede tells them. “It’ll be more comfortable for you, Izzy.”

“I can take the floor,” Ed offers. 

“No, no, dear,” Stede says, helping lower Izzy down onto the mattress. “You keep Izzy safe tonight, I’ll just be right here on the floor.”

He stands there as Izzy scoots over to the wall and lays down on his back. Ed looks at Stede for just another second before nodding in agreement. 

A kiss gets pressed to his forehead, then to his lips, something soft and sweet as Stede pulls the blankets up over both of them. 

When he pulls back, he reaches over and cups Izzy’s cheek, thumb rubbing gently over his skin, something soft and affectionate that Ed is sure Izzy is going to smack away. Instead, Izzy presses his face further into the hand and his eyes flutter shut, a small sigh falling from his parted lips. 

“There you both are, tucked in safe and sound,” Stede says softly, pulling his hand away to straighten the blanket over their chests. “Sleep well, my loves.”

The endearment isn’t lost on Ed, the plural of it all. Loves. Both of them, it seems. He feels Izzy’s hand find and squeeze his under the blanket, holding onto him like they did in their hammock thirty years ago. He knows that Izzy heard it too, that he doesn’t know how to accept it, how to let it comfortably wash over him. 

A small whimper falls from Izzy, and Ed turns over to face him. 

“It’s alright,” Ed whispers. “Scary at first, I know. You think you don’t deserve it, but you do. You do, Izzy.”

He sees Izzy nod in the dark, and feels his hand squeeze his own. 

“You sure you want this, Edward?” Izzy asks, his strained words warm breaths against Ed’s neck. 

He slides his fingers over Izzy’s wrist, feeling the thrumming pulse beneath his skin. The proof that Izzy’s alive, that he’s here with him, that they’re allowed to love each other like this. 

“Always did,” Ed tells him. He presses his lips to Izzy’s forehead, feeling the warmth of his skin against his mouth. Hears the sharp intake of breath from Izzy. “Always will.”

And it’s the truth, the best he can give. 

Read on AO3

[grey-and-green]

Ed vs Blackbeard

And why they can’t just live happily on the Revenge

When I first watched Season 1, I thought Ed liking the cashmere and wanting to go to the French party were about him wanting to be fancy and have nice things.

And like, sure, maybe he’s been told that he didn’t deserve nice things. That’s basically what his mother told him; that god decided he shouldn’t have fine things.

But with more info in Season 2, I think it was about allowing himself to be soft.

He survived for so long because he was scary pirate Blackbeard. He had to be tough, and dark, and mean, and severe. He had to play the part of Blackbeard, and that was the only kind of success and survival story he ever saw, and the only path he saw for someone born into his position.

Then he meets Stede, who enjoyed the soft side and the pirate side equally. Like, pirating was a skill he had, but it wasn’t his most valuable characteristic. He could be silly, and soft, and gentle, and relaxed - and that was maybe the first time he had had that side of himself accepted and even rewarded. He genuinely wants to be “just Ed” but that hasn’t been an option before. Even back on the ship, after Stede leaves, he is still trying to be himself and be accepted as Ed because it felt better. And maybe, just maybe, this crew will allow it.

But then fucking Izzy comes in and says that Ed has no value and deserves to die and that only Blackbeard is worthy and that soft is punishable.

And he snaps. Of course he does. He had his first taste of love and acceptance. Then Stede left (Ed was worthless) and Izzy threatened him (Ed is worthless) and Blackbeard is the only coping-mechanism he’s ever developed, so he dials it up to 11.

But he can’t be Blackbeard 100% of the time, not anymore. He’s still Ed when he’s alone. He can’t go back to the old ways, but he can’t live the life he thought Stede could give him.

So Blackbeard gets even more intense, and Ed becomes even more depressed, and we get near-fatal self-destruction.

The outcome:

What Ed needs in order to be content (and safe, and sane) can’t coexist with a continued career in piracy. It just can’t. Every time he’s forced to do violence or threaten someone or anything that’s piracy and not just sailing - his insecurity about the value of Ed-vs-Blackbeard is going to be triggered.

So we have:

option 1: hurt - Stede doesn’t want to give up piracy now that he’s getting good at it (or some other external forces that mean they can’t retire) and it causes another rift

option 2: comfort - Jeff’s Inn by the Sea and a simple life of comfort and quiet.

option 3: both - they’re planning a third season so we’re not getting a fully resolved happy ending next week.

Edit 1: I made this post about an hour before E6-7 dropped, but I really think I’m right about option 1. Ed’s trauma won’t survive continued piracy, and Stede isn’t willing to give it up.

Edit 2: just finished E7

[lgbtqasacrew]

Can I request an OFMD post-S2 AU Steddyhands fanfic where Izzy survived Ricky's bullet but it is uncertain for a while if he is going to make it or not and Stede and Ed are practically glued to his side, refusing to leave him in case he... neither of them dares to even think that word?

Summary: Izzy survives the gunshot wound but ends up unconscious, whilst Ed and Stede stay by his bedside they realise that they might both be in love the man.

Relationships: established Stede x Ed, Pre-steddyhands

Word count: 1.7k+

Warnings: Descriptions of injury, hand wavey pirate medical care, mentions of violence

Ed gently lowers Izzy onto the deck, it hits him, how close they are to the place where he almost died. Almost being the word he clings onto, because Izzy isn’t going anywhere either. He holds the man close as he drifts in and out of consciousness. “Stay with me Iz, you’ve gotta stay with me” tears rolling down his cheek.

Stede goes into full panic mode, running around the ship collecting anything that could help. He’s almost scared to return to the deck, scared of what he might find, what if Izzy - no, he’s going to be fine. He has to be fine, he’s one of the strongest men Stede has ever met.

He runs back to the deck, just in case time is running out. Ed is still holding him, Izzy’s eyes are closed and he dreads the worst. “Is he?”

Ed shakes his head “He’s still breathing, just” relief floods over him.

Stede tosses the medical supplies to the side and crouches down beside the two men. He takes Izzy’s hand in his, it feels so cold.

“Ok, you both need to move now” Roach tells them. “I can’t help him with you in the way” he adds when they don’t move.

“Come on love” Stede reluctantly releases Izzy’s hand to take Ed’s instead.

Neither man moves far, huddled together as they watch Roach do everything he can. They barely notice the rest of the crew who are crowded around behind them, too caught up in their own distress.

Ed’s squeezing Stede’s hand so hard it hurts but he can’t even find it in himself to mind, in fact it’s quite nice to have the distraction. Izzy looks so pale laid out on the deck, it breaks his heart. They were finally starting to build a friendship, or what Stede had hoped was becoming a friendship, he was becoming quite fond of the man.

Eventually Roach manages to stem the bleeding before he wraps the bandages. It’s all he can do, now it’s just a waiting game. Ed carries him carefully to the captain’s cabin, gently lowering him onto the bed, wanting him to have the most comfortable bed for his recovery.

Stede leaves the deck with a promise to the crew that he will keep them updated, before he closes the door to the cabin behind him. Leaving the three of them alone, he hovers by the door, too scared to see Izzy like that again. It takes all his courage to finally approach the bed.

Ed has pulled up a chair next to the bed, he looks so dejected it breaks Stede’s heart all over again. It suddenly hits him, the similarity of the situation he’d found himself in only days ago. The way he’d sat next to Ed’s bedside when he thought the man to be dead. How he thought he’d never see Ed again, and now history was repeating itself. Why had it taken Izzy getting shot to make him realise how much care he has for the man.

He tries to keep his tears silent, not wanting to add to Ed’s distress, but he can’t help the sob that tears through his throat. Izzy lying there so still, he should be walking around with his unicorn leg tapping against the floor, teasing him about curses or how bad he is swinging on a rope.

Ed’s head immediately snaps up in Stede’s direction, the man just stood there, tears streaming down his face. He rushes over to him, embracing the blonde in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay, love. He’s going to be okay”

He holds Stede until the sobs subside, gently reassuring the man as he rubs soothing circles into his back. Eventually Stede pulls away, wiping the remaining tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, Ed. I’m being selfish, Izzy needs you right now”

“Hey, none of that okay? I love you, if you’re upset then I want to comfort you, just like you’re comforting me. C’mon, love” guiding Stede back to the bed where he climbs in between Izzy and the windows. Ed takes his seat in the chair by the bed, immediately taking Izzy’s hand again whilst Stede takes the other.

Ed’s fingers trace over the callouses on Izzy’s skin, every one a reminder of his years of work and dedication, most of which were right by Ed’s side. Two twenty somethings fighting side by side, dreaming of bigger, better. Now look at them, one almost dead and one back from the dead. How their relationship had gotten muddled over the years, friends, companions in some way, first mate and captain. Both holding some sort of love for the other but never being able to define or voice it. But he can now, too little too late, he thinks. His love for Izzy is big and real and so different to the way he loves Stede but not any less important or beautiful.

“This is all my fault” Ed whispers

Stede can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “What?”

“I took his fuckin’ leg Stede, and Ricky used that against him, and now he might-“ he couldn’t even finish that sentence. The time of the Kraken is still such a blur to Ed but he has flashes of memory, pushing Izzy against a wall, taking his toes, shooting him in the leg. They’ll haunt him forever, even more so if Izzy doesn’t make it. He hates how they could never communicate right, always using the other in some way or another, now he may never get to fix that.

“Ed no, what happened with Izzy’s leg was a terrible incident, but he forgave you. He wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. Anyway if anyone’s to blame, it’s me”

“Stede-“

“It was all my idea, even when it was pointed out to me that this was a suicide mission I still insisted it went ahead” He’d thought it such a great idea, dangerous, but if executed well he’d felt it could really work. Got too caught up in the theatrics and the fancy outfits, but had he seriously considered the risk it could put his crew in. Yes they’re pirates, but he’s their captain, a captain should protect their crew, Should protect the ones they love.

“Yeah but we chose to go along with it, it was a good idea Stede, we knew the risks. If I’m not allowed to blame myself. you’re not allowed to either, okay?”

“Fine” Stede relents. Both men still feeling guilty on the inside, but they needed to concentrate on Izzy right now.

A day goes by, Izzy still unconscious, neither man has left his side. Only eating or drinking when Roach brings them something whilst he checks on Izzy. The only sleep either of them have is when they pass out with exhaustion, they couldn’t bear it if anything happened whilst they were asleep.

Sometimes they talk, sometimes they just stare at Izzy, willing him to wake up, it never works. Stede’s mind drifts to the first time they’d met, they’d been so bitchy to each other, but he realises now that he’d kinda enjoyed it. Since he’s returned that bitchiness has still been there but it felt different, almost friendly, almost like two lovers. Because he does, doesn’t he, he’s somehow fallen in love with Izzy Hands and that thought thrills and scares him in equal measures.

Another day passes much the same, Ed’s notices a shift in Stede, maybe he’s noticed that Ed’s feelings for Izzy aren’t just platonic. He’s going to have to do that talking things through thing he isn’t he. “Stede?”

“Yes love?”

“There’s something I need to tell you but it doesn’t change how I feel about you, okay?”

“That’s quite ominous darling, I guess you better tell me”

“I think I’m in love with Izzy, actually I know I am, for the first time in my life it’s finally obvious. But I also love you so so much, and I don’t know what to do”

“I think I do too”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I know he doesn’t like me like that, but I really do”

“What now?”

“I don’t know” Stede admits “but we’ll work it out and I want you to know, I would never stop the two of you from being together”

By the third day they’re both totally exhausted and confused, all these newly realised feelings making the whole situation even more complicated.

“Do you think he’s in the gravy basket?” Ed asks at some point, remembering his own time there.

Stede smiles slightly for the first time since the accident, remembering Ed’s story of MerStede. “I think he might be, do you think he’ll see merpeople too?”

Ed laughs “I think that was more my thing, but if he is there, I hope he sees whatever he needs to bring him back”

Izzy is in fact in the gravy basket. If you had asked past Izzy what he thought he’d see if he ever went to the gravy basket, well firstly he would’ve told you that such a thing didn’t exist. But if it did exist, he’d say he’d see Blackbeard asking him to come back and fight with him, as first mate Israel Hands but also as his partner. But that’s not what present Izzy needs to see, he doesn’t need Blackbeard, he needs Edward, his Eddie. But even more surprising, he needs to see Bonnet - Stede, he needs to see the two men he loves most in this world. It only took him almost dying to realise that, whilst he always knew he had love for Edward, it’s a massive shock that he also feels the same way about Stede, or maybe it’s not so surprising after all. Maybe it had always meant to be that way, there’s only one way to find out.

They’re both taken out of their thoughts by a sharp intake of breath, looking down to see Izzy with his eyes wide open. “Eddie” he rasps

“I’m here Iz, I’m here” immediately grabbing his hand

Stede tries to not feel upset, of course he’d want Ed, they’ve known each other for years, they’re in love. but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. “Stede?” He’s almost so lost in his self pity that he doesn’t register that Izzy’s not only asking for him, but that’s he’s called him Stede”

He takes Izzy’s other hand in his “I’m here Izzy”

[o-wild-west-wind]

okay…one more thing. kind of feeling crazy about how Stede, crying by Ed’s literal deathbed, thinks this is all his fault. but it’s not!!!

I’m not saying his leaving had no weight on the situation but a) in this instance it really wasn’t intentional, he was very much almost murdered and b) Ed was doing just fine without him—sad and emo, yeah, eating marmalade and writing mediocre breakup songs—but he was okay. he was healing without Stede, because he wasn’t truly alone anymore, even without him. he was retiring on his own! ready to forget piracy and just get weird and silly and artsy and let the crew be his family now. life beginning again.

but Izzy is the one that actually snapped him. Izzy is who forced death back into Ed’s mind like a virus, who forced the wheel back into tragedy after convincing them both they had steered into the wrong genre. Stede, though he made mistakes and messes of his own, is not who pushed Ed into the abyss; he actually gave Ed the inoculation that was keeping him alive! because while love is the thesis of this show, romantic love really isn’t what pushes Ed to the brink; it’s self-love, or a lack thereof, and Izzy is the one who cuts the loose threads of self-actualization away in ep 10 and reminds Ed that unless he is Blackbeard (classic comes-back-wrong trope by the way, which maybe I’ll expand on later), he has no right being alive.

i do think the guilt seeping out of all three of them is delicious, because they all have their reasons to feel it (to varying degrees)—but Stede’s is misplaced, and Izzy is doing this insanely complicated and deliciously painful thing where he’s trying to spare Stede the details out of what seems like a genuine desire to protect Stede’s feelings while simultaneously pushing as much of his own guilt onto Stede as he can get away with. saying they both did this. and from Izzy, that’s honestly growth!! he’s admitting that he fucked up and that fuck up put real blood on his hands!! but he’s still unwilling/unready to admit out loud that he’s the foundation on the pyramid of everyone’s fucking-each-other-over trauma here—including the foundation of the trauma inflicted by ed onto the crew, because he wasn’t careful what he asked his god for when he asked for blackbeard back—and this is even though he truly seems to understand what he’s done now. con’s stellar performance oozes the weight of Izzy’s guilt so gloriously (and given this show’s forgiveness theme I do think his full development is on the cards, which I’m very excited to see).

but Stede doesn’t recognize that yet because how could he!!!

i could go on but I’m too tired so I just wanna tl;dr that like…god, stede needs a hug. someone please give him a hug. and a massage. he’s going through the horrors and carrying everyone’s burdens on his back like a penance and STILL managing to stay silly despite despite despite and he needs a HUG DAMMIT

[honeyskullz]

PREDICTIONS FOR OMFD S2

THERE’LL BE SPOILERS IN THIS

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So Ep3 ends off with the reunion (beautiful parallel) but in the trailer it’s sort of implied that they’ll separate and reunite (again) later on (I feel it’s implied in the “we’re shipmates” “former shipmates” scene). So my guess is that for ep 4 Ed is gonna insist that he leaves the revenge and goes off by himself to “find himself” (i.e. do some soul searching on who Blackbeard and Ed Teach really are). I also think he’s gonna leave because he still feels betrayed/hurt by Stede and can’t really be around him rn. BUT I also think that another part of him will leave because he feels like he doesn’t deserve Stede. He hurt Stede’s crew/friends/family, how could Stede ever forgive him for that? Additionally, he probably feels like he’s a poison now since that’s what his crew/the revenge crew told him (and tried to kill him over). So he thinks that if he and Stede were together he’d just end up poisoning him too. So In summary I think Ed is gonna go off on his own to work on himself and actually try to be better. BUT WAIT IM NOT FINISHED cuz obviously [Izzy Voice] Stede Fucking Bonnet isn’t gonna let that slide. Stede is persistent and is gonna want Ed to know that he doesn’t have to be alone, and that even though Ed did horrible things he forgives him for it and still loves him, and that he thinks despite both of their flaws, they can make it work. I think Stede will initially give Ed his space but he’ll let him know that he’s not giving up on him and that he’ll always be there for him; and I think they probably run into each other accidentally as opposed to Stede outwardly looking for him this time, but I think Stede will take that opportunity to try and convince Ed to come back.

This is just my silly little prediction and I can’t wait til next Thursday to see if I’m even vaguely right <3

[elapsed-spiral]

Fic Delivery Service!

So, AO3 is still down and looks like it might be down for a while (boo, leave the poor website alone, ya weirdos).

In the meantime, if you're desperate for a fic, I've got the following fics of mine available as PDFs. As an added bonus, I can send them to the email address of your choosing using the burner email account I used to make my Google Docs SMAU. In other words, if you fancy reading any of the following fics as a PDF, Stede Bonnet can send them to you! DM me if you'd like any!

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explicit

AUs no-one asked for:

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern AU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story). Modern AU. Teen

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It’s going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen

Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen

Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit

KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede's all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern AU. Teen

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): A brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

[thetragicallynerdy]

So many of your WIPs sound really intriguing but I'm gonna go with "and we will build a home from the wreckage - jim olu cowboys" (for now 😉)

Hahaha aww thanks friend!!

So this one is actually partially posted already!! It's still in my WIP folder because all of the chapters are in one big document because I'm terrible like that.

The premise is: Jim, an outlaw in ~1770s old West, is on the run from Spanish Jackie's gang after being shot. They try and break into Oluwande's barn to get shelter, and he catches them, and gives them a place to stay and heal. The town Oluwande lives near is run by notorious US Marshall Stede Bonnet and his partner, a retired Blackbeard.

If you feel like reading the two chapters that are up, it's posted here! It updates SLOWLY. Like, it's been 9 months since the last chapter.

Here's a long snippet from probably the next chapter!

And if anyone feels like dropping me an ask for the WIP folder game, my long list of WIP titles is here!

--

“Oh – Oluwande –" Stede gives Oluwande a smile. "Fang wants something from you. He’s in the kitchen! Go on, go on back –“

Oluwande gives them a sympathetic look, then disappears. If the suspicious timing hadn’t already set them on edge, that would have done it. They watch him head back towards the kitchen with growing apprehension. And then he’s gone, and they are alone, but for Stede and Ed.

Ducking under their hat and hunching their shoulders, Jim knocks back the rest of their whiskey and reaches for their coin purse. But Stede is already sliding into view, that too bright smile on his face.

“Jim,” he stage whispers, loud and too cheery in the quiet of the near empty saloon. “I’ve got something for you.” He sets a yellowed piece of paper on the bar in front of them, sliding it over.

They don’t need to pick it up. They already know what it is, as soon as he fucking sets it down. But they pick it up anyway, everything in them going cold, numb. They’d hoped – they’d hoped.

Jim stares down at their face, their name, the $1000 bounty. This isn’t the one from Jackie, the insultingly low one. No, this one comes from [COUNTY NAME], government certified. This one – this one they can’t run away from.

They look at Stede, then at their bounty poster. Side eye Ed, wondering how quick they can reach for their knife. If they can strike first, maybe they can be non-lethal –

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you, mate,” Ed says, voice coiled like a snake as he wipes another glass clean. “Not a good idea.”

Their hand does not shake. They nod, stare down at the poster again. “Outside, then?”

“What? No, no one’s going outside –“ Stedes smile drops. Jim can’t make sense of the upset on his face, the guilt. “This isn’t – I’m not challenging you to a dual.” He makes a weird sort of grimace at Ed. “I should’ve burned it, shouldn’t I? Oh, I thought maybe I should –“

They don’t understand. They don’t want a duel – don’t want to have to leave, don’t want to have to kill this bright and odd man, don’t want to have to ruin Oluwande’s home – but they will. They will, if they have to, so why is Stede saying no –

Oh. Oh, that’s – that’s worse.

God, they need to leave. They won’t let Stede throw them in prison, won’t let him make them rot behind bars until they finally hang –

They glance at Ed. Stede, they know they can take, with a knife or a gun or even just their bare hands. But Ed – Ed is fucking Blackbeard. And they’re good, they’re very good – but they don’t know if they can beat him. Not with a still healing wound, and not without having seen him fight. And the way he watches them now, nearly lazily, tells them it would be a terrible idea.

“Don’t think so,” Ed says, still cleaning and cleaning his glass. “Think Jim here’s the sort that needs to see it burned themselves.”

Jim grits their teeth. They’re scared, and they don’t understand, and that always makes them angry. “What the fuck are you talking about, burning it?”

“Oh – oh dear.” Stede looks dismayed. “You thought I was bringing you in, didn’t you?”

“Aren’t you?” They spit out, and they barely manage to keep the torrent of curses in.

“No,” Stede says, voice going gentle. “No, I’m not. I’m giving you your bounty poster, so you can destroy it. If new ones come in, and you’re still here – well, we can destroy those ones, too.”

[crustose]

The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds, reordered to fit Steddyhands timeline

Pet Sounds is about Stede, Ed, and Izzy. and here's the proof. Listen on Spotify

Wouldn't It Be Nice

Ed/Izzy, Hornigold era. Encapsulates the joy of finding each other, while yearning for better times. Hoping that one day they’ll have it, if they just hold on for a little while longer.  

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new? After having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through But happy times together we've been spending I wish that every kiss was never-ending Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it

Discussing mutiny, building Blackbeard, together. Longing for the kind of life that isn’t ruled by Hornigold any longer.

I Just Wasn't Made for These Times

Ed “It’s all so fuckin’ boring’ Teach

Every time I get the inspiration To go change things around No one wants to help me look for places Where new things might be found Where can I turn when my fair weather friends cop out? What's it all about?

I Know There's an Answer

Co-Captains? Co-Captains. 

I know so many people who think they can do it alone They isolate their heads and stay in their safety zones

Now how can I come on And tell them the way that they live could be better? [Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse, floggings, keelhaulings. And my thought is, "Why?” And also, what if it wasn't like that?]

Here Today 

Izzy, warning Ed against Stede. 

It starts with just a little glance now Right away you're thinkin' 'bout romance now You know you ought to take it slower But you just can't wait to get to know her A brand new love affair is such a beautiful thing But if you're not careful think about the pain it can bring

It makes you feel so bad It makes your heart feel sad It makes your days go wrong It makes your nights so long

Izzy, warning Stede against Ed

Right now you think that she's perfection This time is really an exception Well, you know I hate to be a downer But I'm the guy she left before you found her Well, I'm not saying you won't have a good love with her But I keep on remembering things like they were

That's Not Me

Stede leaves, thinking he’s doing the right thing for everyone. Once he reckons with that, he can return with the confidence that he loves Ed, and that the Revenge is home. 

I had to prove that I could make it alone now But that's not me I wanted to show how independent I'd grown now But that's not me I could try to be big in the eyes of the world What matters to me is what I could be to just one girl [Ed Teach btw]

I'm a little bit scared 'cause I haven't been home in a long time [Stede talking to Ed’s wanted poster] You needed my love and I know that I left at the wrong time

I'm Waiting for the Day 

Stede/Ed/Izzy, at various points. They were there for each other, bridging those times when various iterations of the three of them were broken up. 

I kissed your lips and when your face looked sad It made me think about him and that you still loved him so [S2 Stede to Ed and Izzy, separately] You didn't think, no, that I could sit around and watch him take yo You didn't think that I could sit back and let you go

Izzy, S1, hoping that the duel would get Ed back.

Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder) 

Ed/Izzy. Those first moments of reconciliation, when it’s just the two of them. They can’t really talk about it, not yet, but they can sit together, shoulder to shoulder [well, shoulder to upper arm more like], hands gently clasped, and just be. 

I can hear so much in your sighs And I can see so much in your eyes There are words we both could say Come close, close your eyes and be still Don't talk, take my hand and let me hear your heart beat

Sloop John B

Stede/Izzy, that night that Ed left. Stede’s excitement at being respected as a real pirate, giving way to his anxiety over Ed. Izzy helps him through it. 

Around Nassau town we did roam Drinkin' all night Got into a fight Well, I feel so broke up I wanna go home Call for the captain ashore, let me go home

You Still Believe in Me 

Ed/Izzy. Ed’s wonder and gratitude that Izzy, against all odds, stays. 

Every time we break up, you bring back your love to me And after all I've done to you, how can it be You still believe in me

God Only Knows 

Steddyhands. No explanation needed. 

If you should ever leave me Well, life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me?

[trans-top-stede]

Hello. So I had this funny idea after reading Sex Ed to leave a comment about my own dead batteries in the style of a fic, but accidentally wrote 1750 words. Enjoy!

“Wanna do something weird?” Ed asks.

Stede is barely through the door when his roommate addresses him. “Sure,” he says without a thought. Because, honestly, there isn’t much Stede wouldn’t do if Ed wanted to do it with him.

He looks up to see Ed sitting on his bed, in nothing but a pair of black boy shorts, his box of sex toys in front of him. Well, that gets Stede’s blood going pretty much immediately. He turns to lock the door behind him, toes off his shoes before he makes his way to his own bed. But oh? What’s this?

Ed is sliding his collection back under the bed.

“Erm, what did you have in mind?” Stede tries to keep his voice light, tone inquisitive. He’s always ready to learn after all.

“See, I was about to enjoy some solo time, but now that you’re here, I figured the time could be spent more productively.”

Stede’s heartbeat picks up. It’s been a week or so since The Vibrator Incident, and they haven’t really talked about it. Of course, Stede had been using Ed’s toys whenever he got a moment alone. Always cleaning them thoroughly, then putting them away in different spots than he found them, making sure Ed would know which ones he’d explored when he returned to find something for his own enjoyment.

“Why don’t you teach me something?” Ed leans back, ghosts his fingers across his crotch.

“Well, you’re the expert.” Stede is fumbling, on uneven footing. “I mean, it’s right there in the name.”

Ed grins deviously, “with the electronics, yeah. But it’s been ages since I’ve done it acoustic style. And if I recall, you might be just the guy to give me a few pointers.”

Stede is undressing, slowly this time. He’s not sure exactly how this is gonna play out, but he’s definitely going to need less clothes.

The tables have turned, but the game is still the same.

“Ah, I see, if it’s for the sake of an education, I suppose I can share what I know.” He’s standing in just his underwear now.

“Awesome.” Ed scrambles across the four feet separating their beds and perches himself cross-legged at the foot of Stede’s bed.

Stede takes a breath and sits at the head of the bed opposite his friend, mirroring his position.

“So, what would you like to know?” Stede casually rubs the front of his briefs, hoping he’s coming off nonchalant.

Ed mimics him, still grinning. “I dunno, mate, why don’t you just do what you normally do and I’ll butt in if I need more info.”

“Ah, alright. Well, usually I start like this.” He’s still rubbing his right hand in broad circles at the front of his underwear. After a moment, he closes his eyes, adding a little pressure as his focus gradually shifts from performing for Ed to pleasuring himself.

He can feel himself leaking and wonders if the wet spot is visible yet. Tuning into the sounds around him, he hears Ed’s breath hitch and figures that answers his question.

He opens his eyes. Ed is closer than he was before, staring intently at Stede’s wandering hand. He feels his heart rate pick up.

“Yes, I take it you’ve noticed I’m rather wet now. That is usually a good indication that it’s time to um, lose the briefs.” Before he can second guess what he’s doing, he slips them down his legs. his impressive t-dick popping free.

Nothing his roommate hasn’t seen before.

Except he knows his cock is slick and glistening and he knows he’s blushing all the way down his chest.

There is no chance to feel insecure though, because Ed is lifting himself to remove his own damp undies.

Stede reaches back down to draw his pointer and middle finger along either side of his cock, squeezing them together and pressing firmly upwards. He needs to remind himself to breathe as he watches Ed do the same.

“It looks- it looks like you’re getting the hang of it.” Stede is slowly stroking up and down the sides of his cock and Ed is copying him, holding a rather intense amount of eye contact.

Stede’s eyes flick down to Ed’s hand just in time to see him sink one tattooed finger into his cunt.

“Nuh uh uh,” Stede tsks importantly. “That’s not quite correct.” He feels ridiculous criticizing the exquisite scene in front of him. But if Ed wants to know what it Stede feels, Ed needs to do what Stede does. That’s the game. “Why don’t you come a bit closer so you can see more clearly.”

Ed scoots closer, their legs still crossed like pretzels, their knees now touching. Stede imagines he can feel the heat of Ed’s arousal on his own cunt and the thought sends a little gush from within.

Ed leans in very close, definitely invading Stede’s personal bubble. “Ah, I think I understand now,” Ed nods, solemnly.

“Alright, then we’re going to try another technique.” Stede switches to his non-dominant hand, making that snug little V and holding the sides of his cock tightly. He takes a deep breath, and with his other hand he spreads some of his own slick up over and around, making sure there’s plenty on the pads of his fingers. “The aim here is to - erm - stimulate the cockhead, ah, rather vigorously.”

He's gasping a little as he begins to rub his right hand over the V of his left fingers, squeezing the large nub almost painfully.

“Fuck, Stede,” Ed murmurs, drawing little circles with his fingertips, his pace matching Stede’s exactly. “That feels really nice.”

“It’s important,” Stede struggles to keep his voice instructional. “It’s important to remember to use enough lubrication so as not to irritate the sensitive skin here.” He’s gasping by the end of his sentence. His hand taking on a mind of its own as he switches from small circles to a more aggressive back-and-forth motion.

“Mate, as long as I can remember this insanity, I don’t think I’m gonna have a problem with lubrication.” Stede’s heart skips a beat.

That pretty much confirms it, right? That Ed thinks of him when he does this? That those thoughts are enough to bring about a particular set of physical responses?

“Ah, well, glad to hear it.” Stede is getting close, but it doesn’t look like Ed is quite there yet. “How are you feeling?” His question rushes out of him.

“Good. I like it. I don’t think I can come from this though.” Ah, that makes sense. Ed’s poor dick has become desensitized after years of mechanically assisted stimulation.

Stede slows his hand, his body aching for release. “There is another thing we can try.” Ed quirks an eyebrow, his hand not slowing. “I noticed in addition to vibrators, you had a couple um, static options in your collection.”

It takes Ed a second. “Dildos? Dude are you talking about dildos?”

Stede nods. “Sometimes, when I feel, um, particularly insatiable,” this is when Stede begins to feel vulnerable, “I’ve found… I can…”

“Stede,” Ed’s voice is serious, but his eyes are twinkling. His hands have stilled. “You said you’ve never used toys before.”

“I’d never used a vibrator!” Stede retorts, “besides, you don’t need a dual density silicone dick with life-like veins from a bonafide sex shop to fuck yourself.” He can tell Ed is holding back laughter, but it doesn’t make him close down. If anything, it floods his heart with warmth. He wants to make him laugh. “Have you ever heard of a cucumber, Ed?!”

And laugh he does. Ed throws his head back, glorious curls almost brushing the bedspread behind him. Stede is transfixed by the sight of him, chest wide, gorgeous. Throat long and bare. He’s overwhelmed by the desire to put his mouth there. To work his way up to his mouth and kiss him as long and hard as he’d let him.

He shakes his head, claps his hands together. “So!” He gets up and goes to Ed’s bed, pulling out the box from underneath. Takes a steadying breath. He’s never done this with someone else before, never considered he might. Quickly, he finds two similar dildos at the bottom of the box, a sure indication that they haven’t seen much action lately.

He returns to his side of the room, offering one of the rubber dicks to his roommate like he’s breaking bread. “Is this okay?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Ed sounds almost breathless. Stede settles back against his pillow, arranging the additional throw pillows and shams to the side.

“I was thinking, you could join me up here,” he pats the space by his side, heart racing, “to better observe, um, angles and such?” It’s a reach and he knows it, but Ed allows it graciously. Maybe he wants to feel the warmth of Stede’s bare hip and leg pressed up against his own, as badly as he does.

As his roommate settles in beside him, Stede breathes deeply, steels himself for what he fears will be a very rapid climax.

“So, are you still..,”

“Wet? God, Stede, more than ever.”

“Okay, great!” he squeaks, “me too!”

Without a word, Stede resumes his movements from earlier. He can feel Ed’s gaze on him as he resolutely keeps his eyes straight ahead.

All too quickly, he feels his orgasm start to build. “For me,” he’s speaking too loudly but he needs to force the words out, “this would be a good time to introduce, um, the penetrative element.”

“Okay, mate, okay. Hang on.” Stede can do that, he can hang on a moment. Leaves the dildo still, halfway consumed by his body. Slows his hand to a torturous brush against his cock.

Ed is ramping up. One hand pistoning his cunt the other flying back and forth against his cock. “Errrr,” he grunts, “say it.”

Whatever is he talking about?

“Stede, I NEED you to say it!”

Oh, shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Stede’s hands copy Ed’s as he speaks, voice low.

“Edward, come for me; I want to see you come.”

Ed roars as he comes and the sound of it pushes Stede entirely over the edge.

HOLY SHIT this is my new favourite thing. if only Ed had tried that, they might've been able to figure their shit a little sooner! Thank you SO MUCH for this, I'm so deeply flattered! (also it's super fucking hot, and the cucumber line killed me)

[softsnzstuff]

I always love the flavor: person is sick on a holiday/birthday/anniversary!

Yes!! Here’s a little OFMD ficlet!!

wrote a little something where Izzy is sick on his birthday but is annoyed af that people keep putting attention on him

*****

Izzy sniffled against his gloved fist, grumbling to himself. He felt like absolute shit, but he’d be the last to admit it. As he stepped out onto the deck, Buttons started singing.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birth-”

“Shut up!” Izzy shouted, “What the fuck are you fucking singing for? Get back to work!”

“We just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” Black Pete started, “But you seem angry so. I guess just have a birthday?”

“Who told you it’s my fucking birthday??”

“Blackbeard did. Told all of us actually.”

Izzy heaved a sigh, fucking of course Ed would make a big deal about something that wasn’t a big deal. Before he could complain anymore, he pitched to the side.

“H’RUSHEW!! G’ISSHUH!!”

“Um bless you?” Black Pete wasn’t sure how to respond without laughing.

“Are you sick on your birthday Izzy?” Frenchie asked loudly.

“M’not fucki’g sick you idiots!!!”

Frenchie raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? I just thought because you was just sneezing and that.”

“And you look even more frumpy than usual.” Lucius chimed in, backing down immediately after catching a death glare from Izzy.

“Do any of you ever shut the fuck up????? II’GSHUU!”

“God bless you, Izzy!” Stede claps a hand on his shoulder.

The older man slaps the hand away.

“Hey Izzy, behave! Stede’s just being polite. Don’t be a dick just because you’re sick.” Ed isn’t far behind Stede.

“I’m not sick!”

“Izzy. Come on mate.” Ed elbows him knowingly.

He blushes crimson, glaring at the ground, infuriated with the amount of eyes on him.

“Not to worry Iz, I’ll ask Roach to make you a calming tea to go with your citrus cake!”

“Stede!”

The blonde palms his own forehead, “Oh! I’m a fool. I’ve spoiled your birthday surprise.”

“SO IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!” Olu pointed, shouting.

“No point in hiding it now. Go lay down, Iz. We’ll get you when cake and tea is ready.” Ed instructed, more as a friendly suggestion, but with the sternness of a captain.

Izzy grumbled. He’d just have to suffer through this so everyone would leave him the fuck alone.

[quillyfied]

Okay next batch of episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART TWO:

- “that’s six inches of silver in your scapula” MADAM.

- They’re doing an amazing job of showing Izzy in a pure pathetic state. I still have a lot of conflicted emotions about him but his increased confidence and ease around the ship BECAUSE the crew is taking time to be kind to him is…it’s. I don’t. GOLD UNICORN LEG OKAY. THE CARE THEY ARE SHOWING HIM AND HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT AND HE KNOWS IT AND HE BELIEVES IT BUT IT IS CHANGING HIM FOR THE BETTER ANYWAY.

- once again my expectations are being undercut. Of course Buttons isn’t the rabbit. Silly of me to think that. Of course he isn’t going to screw up turning into a seagull. He’s Buttons.

- …he’s coming back, though, right?? Guys Buttons is coming back at some point, right????

- Hang on have to go giggle about Izzy dragging himself across the floor mumbling existential horrors and shouting at the unicorn and then barking at people knocking on his door.

- Also have to giggle about the two halves of the crew coming at each other trying to help in two different ways and talking it through on their own, without Stede’s direct interference. I’m so proud of them.

- Wee John might just be slowly transforming into a mermaid. And I want his sweater.

- Ed referring to himself and the rabbit as lone wolves but immediately imprinting on the thing—and it not leaving him, either.

- HES SCARED OF SPIDERS

- How instantly Ed is glad to see Mary and Anne though. And the secret handshake with Anne. I cry.

- I also cry over how Anne instantly smells blood in the water with Stede before even knowing his connection to Ed.

- Like I guess Buttons not coming back makes sense bc he gave the most profound advice of the entire show and then flew off as a seagull, thereby completing his life’s dream, but have they considered the fact that I will miss him.

- (And so will the crew)

- I love that Ed and Stede finally have it out and get to a point where they can start to heal. I also find it so interesting to see the difference in what the fandom thought would be important to bring up, and what the show itself seems important to bring up. Stede could have blamed Badminton for his cowardice, but he doesn’t; he owns it and makes a greater stride towards mending things with Ed and being better himself. Ed could have mentioned what Izzy said to him, but instead he’s starting to work at the greater issue of his own self-loathing and how that drove him to harming the crew. It’s entirely possible that those details will come up later, but. I think Izzy has a point when he says it’s better to patch things with fiction (or silence) than never moving on. And maybe the hashing out of this stuff belongs to fanfic, not to canon. Because the events themselves don’t matter so much to canon as does what those events represented and THAT is what is getting fixed and addressed.

- Mary Read’s whole thing about “this is what an adult relationship looks like.” I have so many conflicted personal feelings about it. The summary: never been in a romantic relationship before and now at an age where I’ve witnessed plenty but I’m terrified of how I’ll be if and when that ever happens for me, bc the only experiences I’ve got is watching others and fiction. And I just was listening to both my mom and sister in law talking about how so many women my sil’s age have gotten divorced bc their expectations for what a marriage is were unrealistic, how marriage is more like a business transaction. And I was too scared to ask for clarification at the time. And I really do wonder if Mary has a point, yknow. When the mystery fades and the magic is gone…what’s left? Bc fiction tells us one thing. Real life often tells another. Dying alone doesn’t sound fun but it sounds better than accidentally ruining my and/or someone else’s life based on a false hope, yknow?

- Anyway that’s way too personal time to move on

- TO ANNE SETTING THEIR STIFLING LIFE ABLAZE AND REALLY REKINDLING THAT ROMANCE WITH MARY. HELL YEAH LADIES GET IT.

- I know it’s never gonna be addressed but please can the satanic ship be addressed at some point, even as a throwaway line

- (Also patiently awaiting the literal translation of what the dying priest was saying)

- PUT STEDE BACK IN FINE FABRICS 1717

- The absolute ball you know they were all having with this episode. Rhys Darby your FACE when screaming at Izzy after he reiterates that it’s cursed.

- Just the sheer hope in Ed’s face as he witnesses Buttons(?) fly away, as he submits to the jumpsuit and cat bell, the enthusiasm with which he jumps in to go fishing with Fang. The man is going through it but I love seeing him so earnest

- LUCIUS THO. SO MANY THOUGHTS. First and foremost I want his outfit this season, forget Stede’s cursed suit for a minute let’s talk about how Lucius is SERVING this season (and why it’s making me more hopeful for ABBA on the soundtrack at some point)

- How Pete gets through to him by pointing out that HE LIVED BITCH. TALK ABOUT A PERSPECTIVE CHANGE. Also the various blackbeard doodles I’m dying

- Izzy turning the tables on Lucius. I love a good parallel.

- Pete tho. Marry the F out of that man, Lu, he’s a keeper.

- “Loner artsy types” EXPLAIN CALICO JACK TO ME

- AND ALSO I NEED NAMES AND DESCRIPTIONS OF THESE OTHER ARTSY LONER TYPES

- Fang is such a wonderful character and we are so blessed to have him. I was a little wary that Fang was going to try and off (or offload) Ed just to make the crew feel better, but what we got was so much softer and better. Teaching Ed in such a gentle and honest way to examine himself! To sit with himself and learn to value the company! Telling Ed that he’s been crossing boundaries for a long time and giving Ed space to apologize and process! HIS NAME IS KEVIN AND IT’S A FOUR HUNDRED YEAR OLD TRADITION.

- Listen. Listen. Listen. Shirtless Con O’Niell is. A gift. That shirtlessness belonging to the character of Izzy is a little more of a conflict for me but given that Izzy has entered his “little shit and owning it” phase, I’m inclined to enjoy it.

- Also the SHEER BALLS on Stede Bonnet to manipulate Izzy into teaching him some piracy bits. That little stutter when Izzy tries to act unaffected but still asks what Blackbeard said about him. I’m just. Omg.

- And the way Stede sucks at the practicality but he excels at the instinctive/emotional bits. How he’s so creative and genuine and absolutely won his crew’s respect and loyalty and continues to prove that he’s worth it. I ADORE Stede Bonnet.

- Okay I gotta I gotta I gotta: KISS NUMBER TWOOOOOOO. I’ve only kissed one person in my time so far but I remember the moment after that initial dam break, when it occurred to me that I was allowed to kiss this person again; something about the casual way Ed and Stede both lean in just feels the same way to me. Like this is their new normal and they like it. And ADORE Ed setting a boundary and Stede immediately respecting it. AND. THE FINGERS. THE PLAYING. Comparing their games to what Anne and Mary get up to, it does make me hopeful that a mature relationship can be comfortable and playful and sweet and not just a grind or a business transaction. Idk man.

- Now I fully forgot that the episodes have post credits scenes so my reactions to them are not included here but I’ll be rewatching all five episodes later tonight so maybe a separate little baby post about them later.

[lordsammichsilas]

I was in the camp of Stede wouldn’t have thought the idea of romantically pursuing men was even a possibility to him, let alone attach an identity to it. I wonder how commonplace the idea of romantic love between two men even is during this time. Obviously sex was something that was know, which is why they had a name for it (buggery) but I doubt, other than between those men who were lucky enough to find each other and fall in love, it wasn’t something commonly discussed in patriarchal society or even considered at all. (That’s conjecture on my end, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

I do know that penetrative anal sex was frowned upon during this time among pirates. Blow jobs and hand jobs were acceptable and presumed to be just a bunch of straight guys just blowing off steam. I think there is some allusion to this in the show based on what Izzy tells Blackbeard after his first encounter with Stede. (Bunch of fancy men on a fancy ship).

Queerness has a robust history in double speak and code, and if you’re in the camp of Izzy being any kind of homophobic and we’ve seen how unreliable of a narrator he is, I’d imagine the conversation went to Izzy overemphasizing the feminine qualities of these men he encountered and Ed, not necessarily having that particular vocabulary for his own identity either but with his gay spider sense tingling nonetheless, being like “ooh follow that ship. This sounds . . . Fascinating (😉).”

Poor Ed was probably just hoping for a gay cruise, but had to justify it to Izzy and didn’t plan on falling in love.

The only one who’s ahead of the curve in the show in this matter would ge Lucius, who is the only one self aware enough to know that he’s effeminate and actually likes men, and embraces it. He doesn’t have the vocabulary because of the time period, but it very much is part of his identity. That self awareness is what gives him that emotional intelligence and he’s able to see what’s going on with Ed and Stede from day 1.

Another thing is I don’t think it was really touched on intentionally by any of the staff. Everyone has been pretty explicit about getting past the tropes cliches we see in queer people for straight media (where every gay person is relegated to a coming out story or struggling with homophobia) and instead is made for queer people who just kind of take it as a given and move on. (It’s why the scene with everyone asking if Jim’s still Jim after their identity is revealed is so short. It assumed it’s audience is savvy to what non-binary is and just quickly addresses it for story purposes and then you just kind of go with it.) Again, queer culture is code, and proxies, and knowing nods amongst ourselves that cis het society doesn’t pick up on because it isn’t for them. (Hilariously, this is how we get Ken with a cock ring necklace and it’s existence makes me so happy).

There’s plenty of hints in episode 1 where they’re all sitting at the table and Nigel reminisces about bullying Stede and the English laughing that resonates with the crew and we see their reactions (especially Lucius). Homophobia (such as it is in this time wrapped up in misogyny and hatred of effeminate men) is so commonplace and casual, this open hatred or use of slurs against effeminate men is just sort of accepted as background noise. Once again, it’s something queer people (especially gay men) would be privy to. You have to have a lot of intuition to be able to read the room and pick up on this.

Which brings me back to Stede, who is very commonly characterized as autism-coded, wouldn’t pick up on that. Hence his obliviousness throughout the season. That’s one of the problems with communication in queer culture being this way is it leaves a lot of neurodivergent queer people out of the conversation. So when we’re following this through Stede’s point of view, it kind of makes sense for a lot of this to get glossed over and we’re left (as the viewer) to rewatch and post all of this meta piecing it together. This is probably exactly what’s going on in Stede’s head and he’d probably be replaying a lot of moments with Ed and analyzing them over and over after that conversation with Mary to make sense of all of it. (The show is hella immersive that way and I love it 😆)

There’s a whole theme in this show about communication. It’s in Stede’s motto: ‘talk it through as a crew’ and him not following any of it and how many crises would have been averted if they all felt safe enough to say what they felt from the get-go.

So clearly unpopular opinion but personally I actually found the way OFMD doesn't directly address homophobia to be sort of lacking at points. It would be one thing if the show was a set in a world where homophobia just ~doesn't exist~ but homophobia is an implicit force throughout the entirety of the show. This is not to say that I think the show should wallow in homophobia or depict a homophobic attack in a graphic detail. BUT the way the show just doesn't directly deal with Stede's sexuality leaves so many unanswered questions as to Stede's internal sense of self as well as the motivations behind some of his decisions.

In particular a question that hangs over the show is why did Stede leave his family? It's the prevailing question of the show, that we as the viewer slowly discover throughout the course of the season. And while I don't think Stede's sexuality is the only reason he left it feels like it was probably at least a factor in why he left.

So you have this show about an effeminate gay man. Who is bullied his whole life for being effeminate. Is forced into marrying a women because that's his role in society. Who is miserable trying to fit into this ridged box. So he runs away and forms a found family with other people who also do not fit in. He falls in love with a man. Is guilt tripped back into trying to fit back in that box society deems acceptable. Only to realise he still doesn't fit and to run again, but this time he's not running away, this time he's running to the man who he loves.

And then you tell me that the fact that the main character is gay is incidental to the story?

Like the show is textually queer. It textually acknowledges heteronormativity. It textually acknowledges toxic masculinity and the negative effect that has on Stede. But it only subtextually deals with the effect that homophobia and heteronormativity have on Stede's life.

Like I can't stress enough that I just have no idea what Stede thinks about his own queerness. Does Stede know he's gay before he leaves Mary? Is this the reason he leaves Mary? Is it just one of the reasons he leaves Mary? Did it have no bearing whatsoever on his decision to leave Mary? How does he feel about his sexuality? Is he taken aback by Calico Jack's comment about buggery because he has internalised shame about his sexual desires? Or simply because it caught him off guard? Or just because he's awkward about sex and that has nothing inherently to do with his queerness?

[knowlesian]

going feral over stede and the bar scene in the finale, send help.

because in some ways, this is a continuation of the party scene in e5; only now, ed’s not here. his pain is theoretical, and stede still thinks they’ll never see each other again.

ed would never know if he let it go, this time. no one would ever know.

it’s tempting. stede’s brokenhearted and feeling utterly alone, and these men are offering him attention alongside a fucked up poison pill masquerading as acceptance. 

all he has to do is share a couple stories, so long as they’re the stories that confirm the horrible things these men so desperately need to keep believing, or realize they only thrive and profit off endless cycles of human misery. if that ever happened, they would be forced to make an active choice to keep perpetuating the misery or step away and become part of the solution.

which means: that cannot fucking happen. under no circumstances do they want to be in that very uncomfortable place. they like their lives, they like their clothes, they like their nice houses. they are just doing their best, they tell themselves; they do not go home at night and feel like they’re The Bad Guys.

so they do not want to hear about ed, who is lonely and confused and strong and super hot and very complicated and the most lovely person stede has ever met.

ed would fuck with their emotional economy. if ed exists and he is not subject to their definitions of the world and the reasons they made up and codified into science and law to explain why they have what they have, then hooooooly shit kids. holy shit: what the fuck else are we wrong about???

these are the thoughts they cannot think. world-shaking, identity-sundering thoughts. these thoughts fucking suck.

all they want is blackbeard. they do not want a man in all his beautiful nuance; the ways in which he is angry, the ways in which he is tender or silly or looks like an elvish prince or romance novel cover without the beard. ed, who kissed stede on the beach and was willing to give it all up for him isn’t the story they want.

they want a monster, born of the devil. they want to go gawk at the locals like the poverty tourist shtick from the republic of pirates, but without even having to leave the comfort of the home they stole. they already feel so fucking superior, but they want more. 

the hunger that gnaws at them has nothing to do with the food they can afford to take for granted. they will always want more. 

and now they want stede to feed them. they want him to show them that he had his wild fun, off with those little urban friends of his— now he’s back where he belongs, intemperate fit of madness over. 

he’s still weird, and he’s definitely still gay and they still do not like that at all, no sir, but in this moment they decide: for right now, he’s one of them.

this is how he can do it. this is how stede can win, just this once. now, he can give them someone else to gleefully chew on and bask in the shared glow of keeping somebody else down.

because here’s the catch: stede will no longer be one of them if he defends ed even a little, their pushback says. 

so make your choice, stede, these fucking assholes/the narrative says. what’s it going to be?

and because this show is very real and heartbreaking and understands that good and bad is not so much something people are, it’s something people do: stede slips up. the words come out of his well-meaning mouth, and he can’t take them back.

because mary hasn’t yet attempted murder with a skewer, stede’s still in his belly of the whale moment, so instead of remembering what he learned at the party (that now is the time to say fuck you fuckers, here or not ed would be horrified to hear this and thus i am horrified, because his pain is my pain now that i know it exists and then burn their lives down) he backpedals, but he doesn’t take it back.

ed’s a killer: the worst thing he could possibly say.

the secret ed told him—the secret i would guess ed has only spoken aloud to stede in that exact way— alone in their little bathtub confessional: he denied it. he knows that ed has hurt people and let people die, and while the morality hair is being split admittedly fine there along with the exact definition of murder, to ed that makes a difference. 

and because stede is flawed and human and kind of an asshole sometimes but at the end of the day, so so wonderful: he knows that even if ed will never know he said this, it matters. stede will know it happened, that these gross men wanted to point and laugh at his friend and the man he doesn’t yet understand he loves, and that stede didn’t protect ed from that.

the world ed moved in means he was told the acceptable methods of protection only have to do with the physical world; you teach a man to fight, you shield him with your body, you fuck around and jostle. he was starting to test those limits and move outside his box to allow his other instincts and desires to surface alongside the parts of himself he allowed out already, but these men don’t care about any of that. 

it’s supposed to be stede’s job to protect ed here, because ed is perfectly fucking capable but he shouldn’t have to, and because these are stede’s people — or more accurately, it’s everybody in the crew’s job to protect each other because that’s what a fucking family does, and without frenchie and abshir and the rest of his compatriots, stede wouldn’t have been able to do what he did at the party.

unfortunately stede left the crew when he left ed, even if he didn’t see it that way. they would have reminded him who he actually is: the gentleman pirate, thieved plant and all. they know he’s a weirdo and he might misuse all the oranges again, but they love him. part of loving him is knowing he’s still on his way to figuring it out, and giving him a little more room to grow within their space. that’s what you do when you love someone: even when they drive you nuts, you give them way more benefit of the doubt than you would some asshole on the street. (or in a bar.)

because he’s worth that love and kindness and does the same for others, stede tries; he redirects, won’t say another mean word about ed (won’t say a single word about ed, in fact) but the words he already said ring in his ears. he lied in a way that would be a particularly rough blow to ed’s feelings, he didn’t stand up for ed enough after that, and he fucking knows it.

so he stumbles back into the party and is a real shithead to mary (while... acknowledging she should absolutely be mad at him... for being a shithead. stede fuckin bonnet, i fuckin challenge you to c’mere a second i wanna give your complicated, sad face a gentle hug) but what he says is very, very important.

the gentleman pirate, he called himself at the bar. ed called him that when they met; the crew went full sports movie locker room speech vibes confirming it in front of the royal fucking navy and thus probably god. stede finally believed it in that moment, that he was achieving his vision of forging a new path in piracy. maybe all the nice things people said about him were... not something to just brush off???? seems fake, but big if true!!!!

and then chauncey’s big dumb mouth and big dumb gun blew that rising thread of confidence to absolute shreds along with his big dumb face, so here stede is: yelling at mary and pretending he’s not just yelling at himself.

he says mary needs to give up her fake title: he means, i hate myself. i was never actually that strong and loved man. i was not a gentleman or a pirate and i did not have a family. i was pathetic, there and here, and i will never be anything other than that.

my father was right.

and then mary has fucking haaaad it and tries to STAB HIM! IN THE EARHOLE! and we get like, the most gorgeous move into a journey out of the underworld/reverse lot’s wife deal where stede’s sin was not looking back and it’s going back and dying that heals him and i am. i am honestly sort of lowkey forever wanting to chew on this show like old bubblegum but it never seems to lose any flavor!!!! 

love it.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

250+ blackbonnet fic recs, part 1

friends, come forward to receive the fruits of my hyperfixation. under a read more to spare the uninterested a mile of post, and so i can update this as i continue to hyperfixate.

update: the hypefixation broke link limit! i’ve split this into two posts so it can continue growing.

contents of part one, below

s1 fix-its

multichapter canonverse

oneshot canonverse (smutty)

contents of part two

oneshot canonverse (smutless)

AUs

rpf

🍊 marks my favorites

s1 fix-its:

Hell or High Water by Mottlemoth 149k WIP E 🍊 🍊 🍊

For a year now, Stede Bonnet has pursued the legendary pirate Blackbeard across the sea. Desperate for a chance to put things right, Stede will stop at nothing to catch up with the Revenge and its new captain.

But who will he encounter on Ocracoke Island: the man he loves, or a monster?

Half agony, half hope by lyricl 34k E 🍊

The first letter appeared only a few weeks after Stede left him alone on that beach. Ed burnt the first, and the second, and the third. But they kept coming.

Or: how Edward Teach gained a pen pal, lost a first mate, reunited with an old friend, and learned something about seagulls.

the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh 35k WIP E 🍊

Blackbeard hadn’t been lying when he’d said he didn’t feel fear. Fear was about having something to lose, and Blackbeard always wins.

Aftercare by perkynurples 132k WIP E 🍊

In the aftermath of some life-altering decisions on both sides, Edward and Stede navigate reuniting, learning what it is that they really want and how to ask for it, as well as surviving in a world that is nowhere near ready to just let them rest. Or, finding their way back to each other is only the very beginning.

we were warnings by mia_ugly 13k E

Stede comes back.

Ed does too. It just takes a little longer.

on the bed of this blue ocean by kirkaut 9.6k T

Ed’s made up his mind: if he ever lays eyes on Stede fucking Bonnet again, he’s a dead man.

Ed’s had six months of Stedeless-ness, and six months of thinking about all the terrible things he’d do to him when they saw each other again.

Somehow, it never occurred to him to think that they’d never have the chance.

[Or: Ed hears about Stede's 'death' and promptly falls apart.]

Take Me With You (When You Go) by SleepsWithCoyotes 11k T

The guard posted on their barracks gives Ed a weird look as he sneaks back in that night, almost like he wants to bolt.  It’s not entirely unexpected–though the rest of these idiots may think he’s tamed, this one has sound cause to think differently–but the back of his neck prickles a warning at that look of terror all the same.

There isn’t much he needs to collect, and he’d packed most of it up before leaving to acquire a dinghy.  No sense being weighed down with obvious proof he means to escape.  Stede’s bunk is already empty, of course, the man himself led off by the guard outside half an hour before, but this is Stede.  Best if Ed checks for himself to be sure he didn’t leave behind anything important.

Like his stockings.  And his shoes.   And every fucking thing else save the piss-poor clothes the quartermaster gave him.  What the entire fuck?

A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Piracy by laiqualaurelote 4.3k WIP T

Stede Bonnet's agenda for attending the International Piracy Convention: rebrand, make some industry contacts, steal back his ship without being murdered by the keynote speaker, a.k.a. the vengeful love of his life.

i won’t be falling on my knees to beg you by Hymn 8.8k E (+ sequel)

“You made your choice,” Edward insists. “You don’t get to unmake it, Stede. What’s done is done, don’t you know?”

“Ah. I learned that lesson rather recently, yes,” Stede says, very softly.

The expression on his face isn’t fair, Ed thinks. It hurts to look at, all soft and yearning and difficult to resist. The kind of look that makes him angry because of how it also makes him weak. Ed clears his throat, twitches again. Locks his knees tight and clamps his jaw shut, glaring at Stede. The ship keeps sinking beneath them.

“What I also learned,” Stede murmurs, shifting his weight forward. His empty hand comes up, palm open and reaching. “Is that I can be brave. I can be stubborn. I can fight for the life that I want so very, very badly, Edward Teach.”

Ed’s mouth dries. “Y-yeah? And what’s that?”

Stede smiles crookedly. “You.”

i’m yours, you know by ShowMeAHero 9k T

“I think I’ve fucked up,” Stede confesses.

“Yeah,” Lucius tells him, “but don’t take it too hard. I might’ve fucked up, too, if somebody dragged me out of bed to tell me I’d ruined their family, and my own, and destroyed the love of my life’s entire legacy, and then, like— blew their own whole fucking head off. Like, that— I get that, Cap’n. That makes sense.”

Stede nods, keeping his eyes forward. After a beat, he can’t maintain the calm, and he needs the human connection, turning back to look at Lucius. He actually spills over, then, eyes burning.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Lucius comments, but Stede is already carefully standing up so he can bend and hug Lucius without capsizing their vessel.

heartless by Nanashi07 4.8k T 🍊

Izzy scoffs.  “He just doesn’t learn, does he?  Tell him Blackbeard has no use for apologies.”

“Yeah,” Edward says.  “That’s true.  I don’t.  But also, unrelated to that other thing, what else did he say about me?”

Frenchie blinks.  “Um.  Nothing?  The message came tied to a seagull’s leg so.  You know.  Not much real estate on those little papers.  Can’t write a lot, can you?”  He straightens suddenly.  “Oh, I still have it!”

He fishes a crumpled, wind-dampened piece of paper from his pocket and drops it into Edward’s hand.  When Edward unfurls it, he sees only a series of poorly-drawn images: The Revenge with a little triangle sail, a rope ladder and an arrow, a caricature of Stede looking like he’s crying.

“We really need to teach you guys how to read,” Edward notes.

i don’t know anything (but i know i miss you) by ShowMeAHero 7k

“What the hell’s happened to you?” Stede demands. It’s his voice, in his body, and he almost seems living, and it’s— It has to be the last thing Ed ever sees. He has to die with him burned on the insides of his eyelids.

Stede’s eyes are tracking over him, rising up to meet his eyes, locking with him. It feels so real. He can’t help the hysterical laugh that comes up and out of him, impossibly grateful for this last delusion.

Without hesitating, he lurches forward, grabbing Stede and yanking him into his arms. Stede makes a confused noise of protest, briefly, but it fades instantly and his arms come up, too, wrapping around Ed without hesitation. He doesn’t smell the same; instead, he’s all salt and sweat and sun, baked into his skin. Ed buries his face in his hair, fingers clawing at the impossibly real feel of him, the hallucination made solid in his arms.

“Thank fuck,” Ed says into his hair, voice breaking. “I didn’t want to die without seeing you one last time.”

a mile of clean sand by Dialects_and_Costumes 3.8k E

It's an accident when Stede finds Ed again.

remissionem by eldritchIdeologist 7.5k G

"Swear it." Ed's voice is a low gravel-growl, heavy with emotion. Stede swallows. Nods. "Swear it to me, Stede."

He doesn't need to ask what it is.

"I swear, Ed," he says, quick-hushed between them, his hands finding their way to Ed's neck, silk against his jaw. Anchoring him there. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. I'll stay. There is nothing I want more."

"Again." A press against his forehead, Stede's eyes screwing shut.

"I swear it. On anything you want me to, Ed, on my life, I swear it."

Silence in the brig. Ed and his breath coming heavy through his nose, Stede and his breath near-stopped, in waiting. In some desperate, debilitating hope, that he can grab onto this only thing he covets and hold onto it forever.

"...Okay," says Ed after an eternity, quiet as anything. “Okay.”

Message in a Marmalade Jar by stitchy 11k T

I don’t know who will find this, if anybody. Who would even understand it, as Captain Bonnet is long gone?

The crew of the Revenge find a message in a marmalade jar.

Our "Get-Along" Desert Island by Avelera 10k T

Stede and Ed "Blackbeard" Teach have been fighting ever since Stede got back to sea, which would be fine and not totally unexpected after the "breakup", except their fighting now involves full-blown naval battles and their respective crews are thoroughly sick of it.

Naturally, the only solution is to maroon the two of them on a desert island until they work it out or kill each other. Whichever comes first.

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven by AuntieClimactic 14.5k E

“Here we go again,” he heard Lucius scream over Izzy’s furious cursing.

50 Ways to Kill Your Lover by trinityofone 2.3k E

In his quest to get himself free, Ed begins a list of ways to do away with Stede:

 1. Stabbing

 2. Harder stabbing

It gets much worse, and then much better, from there.

only got one life by louciferish 4.6k T

Blackbeard pops the cork from the bottle with his thumb and takes a swig, letting the fire of the rum course through his chest, his veins, and keeps his eyes fixed on the horizon. The salt water breeze carries a hint of lavender.

C’mon, then, he thinks, smiling out at the sparkling sea. Chase me.

Stede writes love letters in smoke, blood, and wreckage. That's a language Blackbeard is fluent in, but that doesn't mean he's going to make it easy.

you should be so happy now by waveridden 7.6k T

In a way, Mary supposes she’s lucky that it only takes one day for the pirates to attack her ship.

(Blackbeard takes a hostage, Mary takes some risks, and Stede takes everyone by surprise.)

Important Bits by perkynurples 3.2k M

The first ship they raid, her crew see the amended flag, incorrectly identify it as a lookalike and thus let Blackbeard approach with little more than open curiosity - far too late do they see him standing on the deck, just him and the smoke and the roaring, hungry gleam of fire at his fingertips.  

The second ship even goes so far as to fire at them first, some young upstart of a  barely-pirate captain or other, and Blackbeard takes special pleasure in sinking that one, the Kraken unleashed, wood splintering and entire lives disappearing down the depths.  

The news spread fairly fast after that.

Or, there's Blackbeard, and then there's the Kraken. There's very little in between.

Entirely Onboard by twoseas 4.8k T

Stede and his brigade of imbeciles row back to the Revenge. Ed doesn’t want to hear what Stede has to say. He doesn’t!

He does.

Featuring Ed and Stede as the pirate equivalent of the couple that loudly airs their personal business while one of them is on the ground floor and the other is at a second story window, the crew being The Crew, and dramatic reactions to earnest declarations.

i'll walk through walls into your heart by Hymn 3.8k T

“So like. Can I talk about emotions now, or are you still trying to do that repressed, macho man thing and act like leather and grease on your face is an actual coping mechanism?”

Ed flings his knife into the door of the auxiliary closet where Lucius hides.

cotton, silk, linen, velvet  by captainbonny 5.4k M

It’s all gone.

Everything but the auxiliary wardrobe.

Two Graves by trinityofone 1.3k M (note: not really a fixit; features an angsty but beautiful ending)

Stede had once nurtured fantasies, not then fully understood, of dressing Ed again in his clothes.

things to never give the devil by Fahye 15k T 🍊

"Dark Fate?" says Stede, making sure to pronounce the capitals.

"Very effective for star-crossed lovers. And at a bargain price, if I do say so myself. A potent mixture of unspeakably rare ingredients, brewed under a new moon, which will drag you through the depths of your own soul in search of difficult truths, and leave the undeserving to drift forever in a dreamscape of torment and emotional agony!"

"What?" says Stede. "No! That sounds awful!"

fear not the weather by dotsayers 7.5k T

The moon shone through the tree canopy, a break in the clouds as rain continued to pour.

A footprint, rust-red against the earth, gleamed.

“Stede, mate,” he said, as he looked up and saw the line of prints disappearing into the trees. “What the absolute fuck.”

(A rainstorm stops Ed from leaving.)

Always and Forever by stereobone 9.8k E

"There's something you should know," Spanish Jackie says. "You're married."

Ed freezes.

"I beg your pardon," Stede says helpfully. "But I'm not your 19th husband."

"No, you idiots. You're married to each other."

habituation by chinxe 4k T

It takes Ed an embarrassingly long time to realise he's being romanced.

If you love someone by Yuu_chi  13.7k T 🍊

Edward's already lost him once. He won't make the same mistake again.

Blackbeard takes a prisoner. Or he would, if Stede would only act like one.

Magnolia by Fyre 5.2k E

Blackbeard crouched down in front of him, that stupid bright sunshine face still the fucking same, eyes wide and round, as if he had no idea of the monster in front of him. As if he had nothing to be fucking afraid of. Stupid fucking idiot. He brought up his knife, the tip of it pressing under the bastard’s chin, tipping his head up.

To Be Alone With You by Springandastorm 5.5k M

The first time Stede touches Ed again, he feels a bit like he’s been scalded. He has Stede pinned against the wooden railing of the ship, his knife to his throat, but Stede doesn’t look scared, just blinks at him with wide, apologetic eyes and says “I missed you.” Ed feels himself soften despite himself, the burning coals in his gaze shifting, almost going out, and that’s all it takes for Stede to smile, to lift a hand to his cheek. “There he is.” He says, an echo of Izzy’s words that cuts far deeper than it did when he said it.

Break down, it's alright by rowenablade 3.2k E

“Give me a reason not to carve your heart out,” Ed whispers.

And Stede can’t think of one.

He can think of plenty of reasons he doesn’t want his heart carved out, but how could he expect any of them to matter to Ed?

“Stede.” Ed’s voice breaks, dragging Stede’s eyes back up from where they’ve been staring at the floor in shame. “Please.”

There'll Be Nobody Home by soft_october 4.4k T

“Hey. You're Lucius, right?” The voice sighed. “Someone else sound this charming?” “Lucius, you’re dead.” “Yeah. Yeah, I am dead. No thanks to you.” “I pushed you off the boat.” “Mmm - I was there. I know.” “Was there any pain?”

Drunk and lonely and hiding in the auxiliary closet, Blackbeard has begun hearing voices. Well, a voice. He entertains it. Even tells it about some of the feelings he's been going through. What's the harm?

And after all, he's got no one else to talk to.

and let the souls wander by one_more_page 4.3k T

In the gold of the single candle Edward looked near divine.

Stede set to work. It was easier than thinking about what was happening. Because if he thought too much about what was happening his lungs were going to swell with that heat that had been building ever since he returned.

If he thought about it too much he would realize this was the closest he’d come to worship in ages.

—

OR

Stede washes Ed’s hair.

Semaphore by komodobits 39k WIP E

Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try.

False Dichotomies by BigTed 4.1k E

It’d be simple, wouldn’t it, to put everything he doesn’t like about Ed in a little box marked ‘Blackbeard’ and insist he throw it overboard like so many books? 

shades of blue and gray by ThirtySixSaveFiles 1.7k T

Ed and Stede get locked in a closet. Twice.

be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me by Hymn 3.3k T

“I should have run away with you,” Stede says once, the two of them up in the crow’s nest sharing breakfast.

haunt me, then by hyruling 28k E

He releases the ropes slowly, barely registering the burn as they slip through his fingers. Then, fallible as Orpheus, turns to meet his ghost.

Buttercup by mia_ugly 13.8k E 🍊

The thing is, when you’re Blackbeard you’ve got kind of a reputation to uphold. When you captain a ship, when you lead a crew, when people look up to you, tell stories, build a legend – parts of that legend are always more accurate than others.

And maybe you just let it slide, some of the things people say. Some of the things they assume. Maybe you swagger around and wear black leather and are a handsy bastard and let the stories tell themselves.

Maybe you don't want to talk about it.

night shift by foxtails 6.5k M

The man gripping on to Ed’s arm like a lifeline has wind matted hair, a rough jaw, and fingernails blackened with dirt. He’s no longer the same person Ed laid on a dock and waited an entire night for.

He doesn’t know whether to laugh, or cry.

or: Stede and his crew return to the Revenge. Ed isn't quite ready to deal with that.

all you left me was a pearl by JustStandingHere 32k WIP M 🍊

Stede takes in a deep breath and smiles. “Ed, I–” he says, but that’s as far as he gets before Ed’s pulling the gun out of its holster.

He aims, and Stede manages to yelp and duck just in the nick of time. The wood behind him splinters. “Fucking hell!” he yells, and springs back up into standing position. He takes a second to mourn the scarred wood before turning to Ed. “I know I cocked things up, but there’s no need to be dramatic!”

1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary. Things do not go as planned.

All I Am Is Holding Breath by smallestchurch 7.3k E

“Edward. I didn’t leave because you kissed me. I came back because you kissed me.  And I’m hoping you’ll do it again.”

stories we’ve heard, and others we tell ourselves by CrypticSymbol 14.8k T

“One calling card and you come running, is that it?” Izzy had asked, disgust oozing from his voice. Ed noted a hint of disappointment too. He just couldn’t help himself from doing so, it seemed. The renewed adoration that bled out of Izzy just months before had been cauterized.

And it had been more than one calling card, to be fair. Though there was no point in arguing semantics with Izzy Hands.

The previous mysterious parcels had been trinkets and gifts left waiting for him to find, like the least challenging treasure hunt in the history of piracy, but this last one was different.

or, Jeff the Accountant is invited to a masquerade ball, and sometimes it's easier to talk things through when you're Jeff and he's Godfrey Thornrose.

The Blackest Water, the Better Mirror by triedunture 13k E 🍊

Ed isn't sleeping well.

Or: an excuse to have many long naps in the (formerly) great cabin.

COLDBLOODED by Macremae 7.4k M  🍊

 STEDE: What was that?

 BEAT.

 ED: What?

 STEDE: Where did you just go?

 ED: (less grounded) What?

 STEDE: You just… went somewhere.

This is a love story. Just not the kind he's used to.

How Edward Got His Groove Back by MadHatter13 43k WIP M

‘Oh shit,’ says the ghost standing by the cabin’s desk, frantically shoving the food Blackbeard had let grow cold on the plate into his mouth. His voice is a bit muffled, because he’s chewing on a piece of slightly stale bread like a hamster. He tries to say something like, ‘You’re supposed to be fucking dead,’ but all he can mumble out, inebriated as he is, is ‘Wzzsdghlkjd?’ - Or, Blackbeard dove head-first into the wrong genre. Let's see if Ed can't find his way back to Comedy.

Above Board by chaya 29k WIP E 🍊

The first time, they don't even have sex.

Stede has just come aboard with Oluwande and the others. Lucius pops out from somewhere, looking haggard but firm, and close behind him is Jim, so that's nearly everyone accounted for.

And peering around the bare light of the deck... the strangest thing to Stede is that Izzy doesn't seem to look once toward the captain's quarters. Neither do his two cronies. Somehow they know that in spite of the initial shouting and stern voices before peace was settled, the captain is not going to make a showing.

Kiss With A Fist by suchgreatheights 16.9k E

Ed knows a fuckery when he hears about one. No death that ridiculous could have been a coincidence.

He leaves Stede a trail of breadcrumbs to get back to The Revenge. When Stede arrives back on board, Ed is surprised to find Stede has a bone to pick with him--and that Ed's got bones of his own to pick with Stede.

love does not compel, no, it converts me by lie_to_me 9.5k E (rape/noncon trigger warning)

Now, naked and intricately bound to the mast, he tries to ignore the way fear quickens his heartbeat. Clearly Ed is angry. This is a game, he tells himself, some kind of fuckery. He can still show Ed his remorse, explain his feelings and his cowardice, and Ed will, eventually, understand.

Ed is, after all, a kind man.

But the man he loves approaches him with a leer, and Stede sees only cruelty in his eyes.

--

Or: Stede goes to find Ed, but first he meets the Kraken. Eventually, he gets through to Ed and they reconcile.

weather the storm by one_more_page 10k E  🍊

Ed runs, Stede follows. Ed stabs Stede, Stede comes back. They duel, they fight, they talk, no matter the encounter Ed wakes the next day with Stede's ship just on the horizon.

He’s being haunted by Stede Bonnet.

—

OR

Ed wakes up on the day Stede comes back over and over and over again.

multichapter canonverse:

Wayfaring by Justkeeptrekkin 34k E 🍊

The downside to being stuck on a desert island is that Stede's not awfully good at adapting. The upside is that he and Ed can finally have some peace and quiet– that is, if Ed ever wakes up from the gunshot wound in his stomach.

Stranded in the middle of who-knows-where, Stede learns the art of reflection and how to embrace the man who looks back.

domestic by Ark 33k E 🍊

Stede finds the house. When he comes back to their room at the inn, he won’t rest—won’t let Ed rest—until Ed’s seen it. His eyes are bright in that way that makes Ed’s guts feel scooped out with a spoon. So Ed hurries into his boots and goes with him.

The once-white paint is stripped by weather and wear, a portion of the roof is caved in, and the spokes of the wraparound porch are all gnawed through by animals.

Ed gazes up at the broken windows and the birds that have built nests there. At his side, Stede is waiting, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“It’s perfect,” says Ed.

to carry home inside me by ShowMeAHero 14k T 🍊

In the Last Year, 1718, the Seas Witnessed the Deaths of Two of the Worst Menaces to Sail. The Pirates Edward Teach, commonly Known as Blackbeard, and Stede Bonnet, also the Gentleman Pirate, once Captained Together before the ultimate Capture of Bonnet in October. By November, the dread Blackbeard was Killed in Battle; not a Month after, the Gentleman Pirate was Hanged for his Crimes at Charles Town. His Majesty the King ends this Curse of Piracy by Sending these Devils back to Hell.

Or not.

Blackheart by angelsunaware 36k WIP E

Blackbeard has decided it is time for him to take a wife, but he finds something else instead.

Chiaroscuro by MenaceAnon 19k WIP T

The Widow Mary Bonnet has a life, and Stede Bonnet isn't part of it. They agreed. There was a leopard and everything.

Then again, Stede has a talent for disrupting plans—for instance, by turning up on your doorstep in the dead of night with a bleeding pirate who turns out to be his beloved Ed.

kissing is what lovers do (and we're not lovers) by afterism 22k E

A vaguely canon-compliant friends-with-benefits scenario where they've been having sex since episode five but still don't kiss until episode nine, because they're both idiots who don't talk it through as a crew.

a very good bad thing by seularen 14k E

“Unhand him,” Stede said. “Or what?” “Good point. I can’t say ‘or bleed.’ You’re going to do that already.”

(prompt fill for the OFMD kink meme: "you know ‘Unhand me or bleed” knife!Stede? I want to see that guy coming to Ed’s rescue when he’s in peril. Bonus points if he takes bloody vengeance or needs to be talked down from it.”)

First, we steal a priest by Elisahni 15k WIP M

“I just want it to be said, by someone,” said Lucius, “that grave robbing is very 1500s.”

“We’re not digging one up,” said Ed, “I’m not that barbaric! We’ll want a live one. We’re going to steal a priest from a church.”

“Ed,” said Stede, scandalised. “That’s kidnapping!”

“I guess it is. Okay, we’re going on a treasure hunt to kidnap a priest. That’s the plan.”

though quaking, though crazy by ShowMeAHero 17k M

Stede knows from experience, from a sword piercing his side for far too long, how it feels when your skin starts trying to heal around a blade, when you know you’re going to have to tear it open again, when its only crime was just wanting to save you.

And maybe Stede isn’t some nightmare pirate, and maybe he’s not the vision that Blackbeard inspires, and maybe he’s not scary. Maybe he’s not made of smoke, with glowing eyes; maybe he’s not a hero, or a villain, or anyone but some poor shit who thinks he knows what he’s doing when nobody really ever knows.

But he knows two things: he knows that he will kill for Ed; and he knows that this man knows that, too.

Tomorrow, Certainly by Anonymous_Ostrich 11.5k WIP M

Stede opened the door with enough gusto that it struck the wall with an urgent thud. Ed - who was busy pilfering through the drawers and cabinets of a large cedar desk - glanced up in mild alarm, like he was expecting bad news. Stede sucked in a deep breath through his nose.

“Ed,” he began with all the authority and courage he could muster, “I’d like to do sex, ah, things, with - with you.” Perhaps that could have been a fair bit more eloquent, but alas.

the lovers, the dreamers, and me by ShowMeAHero 63k E

Stede spreads his hands in front of him, and Louis and Alma both grin up at him. “Do you remember the stories I used to tell you about those fearsome pirates who lived out at sea? And, remember how I told you I went on adventures with Blackbeard? Well—”

“Mom already told us you married Blackbeard,” Alma cuts him off, taking— Well, taking the wind right out of his sails, as it were.

“Alma,” Mary hisses at her. “Don’t interrupt y—”

“No, no, that’s fine, it’s— It’s fine, really,” Stede says. “I was— I was, admittedly, a little excited to tell you, but— That’s fine, honestly, we—”

“No, no, do it anyway,” Mary encourages him.

or: louis, alma, mary, and doug spend four days and three nights aboard the revenge, stede's families become one, and his entire heart combusts in the process.

Hello, My Old Heart by LadyKyrin 26k WIP M

In the span of a single second, or maybe even just a half-second, three things happened:

A gun went off.

Ed’s blade sliced deep into Chauncey’s throat.

And Stede screamed Ed’s name.

~

Ed comes looking for Stede when he doesn't show up at the dock. When Chauncey shoots Ed, Stede has no choice but to take him to the one place where there's actually a chance they might not be immediately killed or captured: the house he once shared with Mary, Alma, and Louis.

Working Vacation by MenaceAnon 2.1k WIP T

Captain Richard Bryce is going to make a name for himself as a pirate.

His plan? Kidnap the Gentleman Pirate, and use him to get close enough to assassinate Blackbeard.

And so Richard and his crew steal the pretty beardless fellow wearing a fussy banyan straight out of Blackbeard’s bed.

(Ed has never been an honest-to-god damsel in distress before. He’s going to go ahead and consider this a vacation.)

Come Here, Dressed in Black Now by jessclare 13k E  

“I never thought I’d end up being the woman in bed,” Stede says suddenly.

Stede has issues to work through.

An Even Trade by BewareTheIdes15 30k E 🍊

It’s “doesn’t mean a thing,” that gets Ed into trouble. Because, turns out, it means a fucking a lot.

Crossing the Meridian by stitchy 40k E

“Would you like me to pick you up anything special for the crossing?” Stede checks.

“Oh, I dunno. You know what I like,” Ed grins.

Me, it’s me, it’s me! Stede’s heart rejoices. He can’t go wrong with such wind beneath his wings.

“I’ll have to see if I can find a treat for when you get bored at sea,” he tells Ed. “Something to keep you occupied.”

-

Quite simply, Stede and Ed "romance" their way across an ocean.

Stuff of Kings by wordaddiction 13k WIP M

“Your name. I thought you might tell me your name.”

Brown eyes flicker between Stede’s, and he thinks it might have worked, stall though it may be, until the man’s mouth curls.

“Nah. Think I like you this way. Something I know that you don’t - guess books aren't everything.” He smiles, truly smiles, and Stede might think him handsome if he weren’t pushing a knife to his throat. Well. Maybe even then.

________________________

or: Ed boards the docked Revenge, expecting to find it empty and ready for raiding. It is decidedly not.

Shoals of Gold by blacksaltseas 15k E

And so, they lay above the moon-soaked sea and looked towards the heavens.

The time passed like honey, slow and sweet.

-

Two co-captains navigate falling in love on the high seas. There’s not much else to do when the wind stops blowing.

Healing Trauma with the Power of Gay Love! by                    the_bedheaded_league (giantflyingskelesnurtle) 13k E

Stede doesn't like sex. At least, he thinks he doesn't, because he's never had sex with someone he's actually attracted to before. Ed very patiently teaches him that sex can actually be enjoyable. There is crying. Bon apetit.

he's never gonna make it by muadnait 32k WIP M

Stede would admit to reading a book or two about pirates, but no literature could have prepared him for an actual face to face encounter with said people.

__

Stede Bonnet, wealthy landowner, held hostage by pirates.

Penetrative Gays by Fyre 13k E

“You’re coming with me.” “What? Why?” “Because I stabbed you!” Stede exclaimed, stooping to pull Ed’s arm more securely over his shoulder. “I can’t just… leave you. You have a hole through you!” 

-

The poor bastard was still pinned to the mast like a nail in a board and gave Ed a weak little wave, his face shiny and pale. “Lucius has gone to get someone to get me down,” he said, as if he didn’t have a fucking sword sticking out his chest. 

keep us together by novaeangliae 63k WIP T 🍊

A young Stede's desire for adventure is fuelled when he meets Ed, a boy from the docks who appreciates Stede for his true nature. Only their upbringings come with a ceaseless pressure to conform, and the two must navigate growing up in different worlds. Even with the difficulties posed by their lifestyles, it still comes as a surprise when their paths cross again upon the deck of a Spanish warship.

They always find their way back to each other.

What Wound Did Ever Heal But By Degrees? by poading 15k M

The first time is quick. Ed has been thinking about it for weeks, kissing Stede Bonnet. It is the sort of thing he wants to do right. Though Stede’s never mentioned it in any of their lessons, Ed is certain there is a right way to go about kissing a gentleman. He must wait for the right time, the right place.

But when he finally does it, Ed doesn’t think at all. He is only instinct and hope tangled in a moment where breath is forgotten and the future seems possible.

OR: Five times Ed kisses Stede and one time Stede kisses Ed

oneshot canonverse (smutty):

Bit of a Clothes Horse by Aivelin, Fyre 9k E 🍊

Stede tossed down the invitation card on the couch. “On the contrary!” He scrambled to his feet. “You’re not wearing anything that beastly man owned. You deserve something far better, especially for your first time out. If we’re going to a party, you’re getting all the luxury you deserve.”

when you love it by mia_ugly 5.7k E

Stede’s being kissed before the door fully clicks shut behind him.

Close Quarters by FortinbrasFTW 4.2k E

“The fuck?” Ed manages, instantly getting his foot stuck in a nearby bucket.

“Sh-shh!” Stede pushes two fingers against his lips to shut him up.

Ed goes still and a bit cross-eyed, staring down at the hand on his mouth. Stede moves it away, with a mouthed “sorry!” focusing intently on the sounds outside the shed instead.

In the alley, hurried steps and shouting voices rush past; they catch fragments of: “Where the fuck did they go then?” or “Keep looking!” and even “The short one looks like a bloody birthday cake, how do you lose that—”

in the emerald green by darcylindbergh 3k E 🍊

And Stede likes Ed, here and now, with the fresh smell of the wind and the salt in his hair, stripped down to nothing but an emerald green banyan and the ink in his skin, climbing back into the bed.

we've only just begun by ShowMeAHero 22k E

“Happy anniversary,” Ed tells him. He’s got a smile, but he still seems nervous, and Stede absolutely cannot have that.

and let your hair hang down by Ark 3.1k E

Stede exhales, warm breath stirring Ed's hair. "Again?"

"Stede," says Ed, "I'd sit on your cock all day for a chair and captain the ship like that if the option was available."

in the dark and blue by focusfixated 3.7k E

“What’s this?” Ed says, and tilts the mug towards his eyeline. He’s been doing a good job, so far, of looking everywhere except at Stede.

“Tea in its natural state,” Stede says. “You don’t have to drink it. I didn’t really ask you here for tea.”

Ed hunches like a child, but his hair and stubble is grey as a silverfish. He sounds as bitter as the tea when he says, “What did you really ask me here for, then?”

Or: After Stede comes back to Edward, they both look for forgiveness, and relief.

so good for him by leaveanote 3.7k E

Ed still isn’t used to being vulnerable. But Stede’s praise unlocks a part of him he didn’t know he had.

And fuck, it feels good.

Starcharts by triedunture 8.7k E 🍊

“Do you think I could help in some way?” he asks.

Ed glances at him. “Like how?”

“I don’t know. You seemed to enjoy our little gag of trading places that one time.” Stede shrugs a shoulder. He’s wearing his pink satin waistcoat and matching breeches, no overcoat—too fucking humid tonight. Ed can see the shape of his arm through the thin linen of his shirt. “What if you pretend you’re the one who isn’t in charge, and I can pretend I’m the one who is. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?” 

Under your skin, over the moon by por_queeee 7.7k E

“You’ve never been anything but–perfectly considerate, my love,” Stede manages weakly, staring straight up at the ceiling, flexing a hand in Ed’s hair. Ed can be impatient in bed, erratic, firm and greedy in his touches, but he’s always asked Stede from the first– Is this ok? Like this? Is it good? Am I hurting you?  

“You’ve never hurt me, or…” His cheeks pinken slightly, “Well, beyond what I imagine is the normal amount of soreness the day after, of course, but…”  

Ed grunts, and scrapes his teeth over the bone of Stede’s jaw in a way that makes him gasp and brings him right back to himself. Ed seems to freeze at the noise, fingers digging shakily into Stede’s hip. “But what if I wanted to?”

the taste of you by jaskiers 5k E

The first time they fall into bed together doesn’t go quite the way Stede had imagined it would.

Rough Winds Do Shake by HeckinaHandbasket 4.1k E

He returned with the book, tapping it on Ed’s leg as he reclaimed his seat in the chair. “I’ve always been rather partial to a sonnet, myself. Though they’ve often left me feeling somewhat melancholy.”

They’d often left him filled with longing, left him feeling empty, and strange, as if he were missing something vital to the human experience. He loved them, still. Pain was the price of beauty, after all.

Stede glanced up at Ed, smiling at the effortlessly lovely picture he made, backlit by a dozen candles. “Although, I wonder, now, if it might be different.”

Ed shifted on the arm of the chair, throwing his own arm over Stede’s shoulders to peer at the book. “Different, how?”

Without thinking, Stede bumped his forehead against Ed’s shoulder, joyful honesty bubbling out of him like seafoam. “Well, with you, of course. Everything is different with you.”

A deep, thoughtful line appeared between Ed’s brows as he examined Stede’s face. “Is it?”

Dance Me to the End of Love by stereobone 3.7k E

“I should teach you the waltz,” Stede says. “After all, if you’re going to know the ways of the aristocracy, you should at least have that under your cap.”

“The waltz?” Ed says. “Like a…like fucking dancing?”

“Exactly like fucking dancing,” Stede says. 

a laughing matter by mxwicked (SpacemanSpiff7) 6.4k E 🍊

Stede’s never laughed during sex before. Hell, he’s barely even smiled. So when Edward can’t stop giggling during their first time, he’s not really sure what to think.

good game by captainbonny 3.4k E 🍊

in which Ed is (probably canonically!!) sleeping on Stede’s couch, and late night sleepover antics ensue. 

Still Waters by Phoenix_Soar 5.4k E

Did people kiss like this? This often? Oh of course they must, not everyone shared his own stilted experiences with intimacy...

Canon-divergent ending to Episode 9 — in which Stede discovers just how touch-starved he's been, while Ed takes full advantage of his first chance to be gentle with someone.

The Biblical Sense by Fyre 2.5k E

“Wh-what’s this?” Stede managed in a strangled croak.

Ed’s eyes creased around the edges. Smiling. One could always tell by them, even if his beard and moustache and everything else hid his mouth. “I know you’re a bit new to the whole… seaman thing,” he said with that rumble of amusement in his voice, “but I thought even you’d recognise a come on when you saw one.”

every morning the world by treescape 1.1k E

“Now there’s nothing to put the marmalade on,” Stede sighs. He stares morosely at the jar that Ed’s holding in one hand, and then lifts his gaze to Ed’s face.

Ed raises both eyebrows in response. “Oh, well, I wouldn’t go that far,” he protests, hefting the jar thoughtfully for a moment. The movement makes Stede’s favourite robe shift a little where it drapes over Ed’s shoulders, revealing another inch of chest.

Or, breakfast in bed doesn't go exactly as planned, but that's okay.

Trick by Desdemon 4.2k E

Stede teaches Ed how to play piquet.

peccadilloes by Badgerette 2.1k T

”Then, what kind of passions do you enjoy in private? Don’t tell me there’s some erotic scribblings hidden in that insane collection of kindling?”

A beat, within which Stede takes a sip of his remaining port.

”You’ve got some fucking raunchy books up there, haven’t you?”

I will own my lover's heart and soul by songlin 2.7k T

Edward Teach considers himself a connoisseur of captors. Without a doubt, Stede Bonnet is his favorite.

spattered colours of ecstatic light by thesoulundone 2.8k E

It's Stede's turn to stare incredulously at him. Ed notices, somewhere in the back of his brain, that he refrains from being smug about it. "You mean you don't-"

"Of course not," Ed breaks in, awkward. "It's - immoral."

"You're a pirate," Stede says, pointed.

"Yeah, but that's different," Ed says, surly.

Silk Touch by NaroMoreau 2.5k E

After a pillaging, Stede finds Ed wearing a dress and shows him exactly how much he appreciates the sight.

Practice Makes Perfect by cracktheglasses (cormallen) 4.3k E

“Lucius said I could practice on a banana, only we haven’t got any on board,” Stede says, and the words take a moment to coalesce into meaning. Ed blinks, shakes his head — a banana, for fuck’s sake, he’s jealous of a banana, get it together, old man — reaches over, and plucks the book from Stede’s grasp.  

“Relax. Forget — practice. Forget the book. I’ll talk you through it. When have I ever taught you badly?”

built for luxury by emmett 9.2k E

"Congrats," Ed says, once Stede lowers the mirror. "You've just successfully tied up your first person like a proper pirate. Didn't even take you that long."

"Yes, well," Stede says, blushing a little at the praise and moving to start untying the ropes, "I had an awfully good teacher. Very patient with me."

In which Ed shows Stede the ropes, if you know what I mean.

For a Scoundrel is a Wanted Man by stitchy 4.1k E 🍊

“Well!” Stede smiles and sets down his glass for now, so he can give Ed’s cheek an appreciative rub. “It’s nice to be nice, isn’t it?”

Ed rolls his eyes, but leans into the contact. “Yeah, but don't tell anyone I said so.” He covers Stede’s hand with his own, fingering the lace upon it. “I do have a reputation.”

“I won’t, I won’t! If you don’t tell anyone what a scoundrel I can be,” Stede chuckles.

“You, a scoundrel?” Ed smirks. “You'll have to remind me why, Stede. You haven’t done anything bastardly all day.“

Evening Light by entanglednow 1.9k M

In which there is a commotion, a rousing speech, and a full length nightgown.

Yes, And by triedunture 4.2k E

“And who are we tonight, my darling?” Stede asks once he gets Ed up against the sturdy wall of the auxiliary closet.

“Reckon you’re quite the fearsome pirate,” Ed says into the kiss, “and I’m a fancy lord of fuck-all who’s at your mercy.”

“Oooh, I do like that one.”

----

Ed and Stede try to stick to the script but they keep getting distracted.

You kissed me just to kiss me, not to make me cry by makesometime 3.7k E

“Ed?”

He’s getting distracted. It’s probably a defence or something, against worrying that he’s laying himself bare to someone who might just go and fuck it all up again and leave him, more heartbroken than before.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’m here.”

'Cause if I love you (then I love you too much) by rowenablade 2.3k E

They’ve been sleeping together for three weeks, and Stede is hopelessly smitten with everything Ed does. He loves the way Ed sighs when he kicks his boots off and the way he can peel an orange with one hand and the way his hair gets in Stede’s mouth about a third of the time when they’re kissing. He’s amazed he hasn’t run the ship aground again, so hard it is to tear his eyes away from this wonder of a man.

the hung man by LogicalBookThief 4.9k M

"This is fucking Blackbeard we’re talking about, man. Maker of widows. Scourge of the seven seas." For not the first time, Black Pete regards him like an idiot. "What did you expect he'd be packing in his pants?"

we came untarnished by propinquitous 5.7k E

Edward finds that clothing can still leave you feeling naked.

The Dread Pirate Bonnet Shows No Mercy (Lord Jeff Doesn't Want Any, Thanks) by Dracothelizard 8k E

Ed throws the book on the floor in front of Stede. “What if I want to be ravished for a change? Ever think of that?”

Stede stares up at him, mouth open, then closes it, then he frowns in thought.

“That’s what I thought,” Ed mutters, shoulders sagging as he drops into one of the chairs.

Despite knowing the man behind the reputation, Stede still wants Blackbeard. Everyone does.

“I’m a pirate captain,” Stede says, picking the book from the floor and brushing some dirt from the cover.

“And?”

Stede smiles at him, cheeks still flushed. “I think that means I’m allowed to ravish you.”

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) by zemph147 4.7k E

Set after some vaguely-defined season two events where Stede proves his love to Ed, and they return together to The Revenge to finally get some time alone.

I just want them to be together, and in love, and having truly spectacular sex, so here we go.

Tonight, Tonight by samwise 8.2k E

Ed wakes Stede in the middle of the night, and Stede comes to the door in a translucent robe. Ed.exe has stopped working.

all of me is a prayer in perfect piety by princesapollobollo 5.1k E

"I've never really—" Stede pants, leaning back a bit from where Ed is pressing kisses to his mouth, hot and dazzling. "Well, I have, but not—"

"With a man?" Ed asks, looking up at him, and there's no judgment or mocking in his eyes, only a faint curiosity underneath all the intensity.

"With someone I was in love with," Stede says, curling a hand over Ed's cheek.

“Oh,” Ed says, even now still looking like Stede is showing him the wonders of the world every time he says that word. “Well, in that case I don’t have that much experience either.”

this kind of love has to be a verb by illimerence 2.9k E

More than anything else, Ed can’t understand why Stede came back. 

A Pirate's Reputation by chamyl 4.9k E 

After getting back together, Stede and Ed are having a perfectly lovely time co-captaining their ship and becoming more and more intimate. Until the day Stede discovers that, against all his assumptions, Ed has never had sex before, and begins to wonder why.

grand pianos clash together by audenrain 4.3k E

“And you aim to correct that, do you? You’re going to show me the ropes?” Stede says. It’s a funny thing, the atmosphere aboard a pirate ship. In many ways it’s done exactly what years of bullying and abuse never could: taught him to stand up for himself a little better, given him some rudimentary skill with a sword, and most importantly, given him a taste of how it feels to rise to a challenge. He feels that static charge in the air, now, for all that Ed’s body language is relaxed.

Ed is smiling, a little, behind the crystal edge of his glass. “I don’t think we should get ropes involved on your first time round,” he says.

As You Like It by kindofwriter 2.7k E 

Stede asks Ed what he likes, and Ed realises he's never really thought about it before. However he does find out Stede has thought about it A LOT.

tell me i'm what your hands were made for by apocryphalia 2.9k E

Ed is still wearing Stede’s cravat.

Sometimes, when they’re in bed, he peels back the leather surrounding it but leaves that little piece of silk in its place, a reminder of how far they've already come in their few short weeks together. Sometimes, he watches the black cloth sway against tan skin, against the scars darkening its surface and the faded ink beneath, in time with the rhythm of their bodies. Other times, he tosses it aside, the better to worship that skin.

This time, Stede has another idea.

Rum and Linen by scarrletmoon 5.5k E

Usually when Ed gets drunk, he crashes on the couch. This time, he doesn't.

be known in its aching by foxtails 4.6k E

Stede manages to be everywhere at once; his mouth pressed to the bird on Ed’s shoulder, his toes tracing the tattoo curving up his calf muscle, his fingers wrapped loosely around Ed’s wrist.

“I should quite like you immortalised in a portrait,” Stede murmurs against his skin. “Not Blackbeard, not the Dread Pyrate. You, Edward. Every inch of you, laid out beautifully like this.”

or: Edward Teach deserves nice things. Thankfully, that's where Stede comes in.

all that ever mattered was you by anthonyjcrowiey 2k E

Sometimes sex goes wrong, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad.

AKA: the one where Ed and Stede are getting old and they are absolutely feeling their age.

Sneak by whiskywrites 2k E

“Your helmsman is taking orders from a goddamn seagull, Stede,” Ed said. “And we are at his birdy mercy.”

you don't need to wonder by spelling__bee 4.6k E 🍊

It’s the only time he’s ever taken orders in his adult life, because with Stede they don’t feel like control or threats - they feel like love. He can always say no. Stede would stop the moment he asks. But knowing that, and asking for it anyway, settling in where he can trust Stede to call the shots for both of them? Well. Ed can’t think too much about it because he’ll get all misty and shit, but it’s strong stuff.

all day long (on the chaise longue) by attheborder 3.5k E

Adventures in interior design. 

Cabin Pressure by entanglednow 6.3k E 🍊

Contrary to Stede's insistence there was not enough space for two in the bed, not unless they wanted to get very close indeed.

Fancy by Aivelin, Fyre 7k E 🍊

When a Spanish prize yields a treasure trove of exquisite clothing, Stede can't resist the urge to indulge Ed's fondness for a fine fabric.

Of night and light and the half light by leupagus 2.1k M

What if for Reasons, they need someone to pretend to be a woman, and so the obvious choice is Stede (look, Jim just isn't very convincing) (Stede played the heroine three years running in the school play, of course he knows his way around a skirt) And Ed is very interested in this look. Very interested.

only the light moves by ThirtySixSaveFiles 2.3k E

Stede and Ed, and the slow morning after. Stede still has some things to say, and he’ll keep saying them until Ed can hear him.

Waiting on the Lightning by smallestchurch 8k E

They're co-captains now, sure, that's great and good, but... why is it making Stede so nervous?

this is a home we just don't have a door by newtkelly 7k E

“I just don’t get why Lucius would even propose such a thing.” He finishes tugging his nightgown over his head and sighs, slipping under the covers to join a nearly naked Ed. “I mean, it’s not as if I’m wedding some virginal bride who would blush at the mere contemplation of sharing a bed with a fellow!”

“Hey,” Ed says, feigning offense as he shuffles into Stede’s embrace, propping his head against Stede’s left shoulder. “Are you saying I’m easy, mate?”

june hymn by ripeteeth 3.1k E

“Tell me about this one,” he says. What he means is, where did it hurt?

Breakfast by scarrletmoon 2.6k E

A typical quiet morning between co-captains aboard The Revenge turns into a much spicier breakfast.

quand il me prend dans ses bras, qu’il me parle tout bas (je vois la vie en rose) by SilkAndLeather (SexyCoinkiDicks) 7.2k E

Ed appreciates his new morning routine, as well as Stede's more intimate finery.

Tender, playful Ed/Stede morning sex PWP. Works as a stand-alone but might have a follow-up.

Unhand Me or Bleed by scarrletmoon 4.2k E

Stede Bonnet has an  “unhand me or bleed” moment and Ed can't not fuck him.

i'm coming for you, babe (i'm nearly at your pace) by kirkaut 4.7k E 

Ed has been trying to be good.

He can’t necessarily say the same of Stede.

(Or: an exercise in self restraint, and the art of giving in)

Renewal by katonline 3.4k E

The fire is blazing cheerfully in the fancy as fuck fireplace in their cabin. It’s a ridiculous folly, it shouldn’t be there, but it is and it’s wonderful. It’s wet and dreary outside and it’s cozy and snug and perfect in here. The cabin is like a friend. The rain is indifferent, blind to their happiness. That’s - whatsit, fuck - ah. Right. That’s pathetic fallacy.

Stede taught him about pathetic fallacy.

Damn the Dark by Serendipity_Stupidity 15k E 🍊

“Feels good,” Ed told him, breathless. “Bliss - love, surrender, all of it - feels so good. Don’t you want to feel that?”

For a moment, all Stede could see was the red flesh of apples, the flickering tongue of a snake, the dark cloven hooves of the Devil. Between his legs, Ed looked like sin itself, with his stormy curls and soft mouth.

Gripping the edge, Stede’s hands trembled. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stede and Ed share a bath and work through Stede's inhibitions about being intimate.

World Enough and Time by MayGlenn 6.9k E

Five times Stede and Edward try to have sex and are comically interrupted, and the one time they successfully bone.

rather exquisite by leaveanote 4.4k E 

Stede fucks him exactly once and Ed feels fucking wild with it the next day. So desperate to have him again he can barely think, and as nervous and excited as the moments after the first time they'd kissed.

And, given how that wound up going, all the more anxious about losing him.

My Saddle's Waiting by Dracothelizard 5.2k E

He regretfully covers Bonnet with the sheets, drawing them up to his waist. “I am gonna do my best to keep you alive,” he promises, brushing some hair away from Bonnet’s face. “Because once you’re healed up, I am gonna ride you like a pony.”

Bonnet whimpers. “I should be a lighthouse.”

“Yeah,” Ed says, “bet people can see your dick from miles away once we get it hard.” He stands up to find a comfortable chair to sit in so he can keep an eye on Bonnet during the night.

He’s not gonna let the man die before getting that massive dick inside of him.

---

In which Ed catches sight of Stede's cock after saving him from the Spanish and dragging him back to the Revenge, and embarks on an important mission.

Like a Needle to Skin It Leaves a Mark by greatbriton 6.3k E

“Oh! Or we find a nearby port and the whole crew gets matching tattoos, like this one!” Stede says and, without a thought to his actions, runs a finger against a part of Ed’s lower arm where a tattoo of an anchor slotted between stars and crosses resides. Ed's skin is cooler than Stede would imagine, if he imagines such a thing. “It could be a team building exercise!  What do you thi--”

Stede finally looks up to see Ed’s eyes focused intently on where Stede’s finger lies against his arm. Stede pulls his hand away as if burned. He’s overstepped. Clumsy and entirely indelicate of him, he mentally chastises himself.

Weird by Skrifores 5.6k E

In which Ed muses on all the things which are just fucking weird about being on the Revenge, especially the cute, strange, lunatic captain.

make sure you bind me (hand and foot) by Hymn 6.3k E

Finally, he looks at Edward.

Stede’s pupils are blown, eyes all dark and hungry. He licks his upper lip nervously. Ed can see the frantic pop of his pulse; can see the clench and flex of his jaw, like he’s struggling. But not in a bad way. No, not in a bad way at all, Edward decides, watching as Stede tugs a little more on the ropes. How his breath stutters, then leaves him in a shuddery exhale.

“Hm. That’s not a bad look on you, Stede,” Edward murmurs.

“I admit,” Stede gulps. “I was not prepared for being so- so affected by this.”

Ed grins, showing all his teeth. “Good.”

The Finer Things by BewareTheIdes15 5.9k E

“Listen, yeah,” Ed says, obviating the entire statement by taking an overlarge slug of his drink. The pink dart of his tongue that follows after is almost hidden by the shadow of his mustache.

“I’ve been thinking. How would you feel about, uh,” the sound of the leather of his glove grating against his trousers seems loud in the quiet as he traces the length of his thigh up to his hip, restless fingers tap-tapping away again against the steel of a fastening. “Lending a hand?”

In which Ed has no chill, Stede has no idea how this happened, and everyone needs to get their shit together.

we're finding new forms by Hymn 6.1k E

“Yeah,” Ed agrees, leaning in, breathing deep. “Yeah, you’re good. You’re fine.”

“Mm,” is Stede’s smiling response, and then between one moment and the next Ed is being kissed again. His shaking hands are in Stede’s hair, gripping at his ear, the side of his neck, trying to hold on to the shape of him while Ed himself feels like he’s falling apart. Heat and tongues and the slick, indecent slide of them take over. Breaths funneling into one another.

Against Ed’s gasping mouth, Stede murmurs, “My dear. You’re shaking,” before sucking in Ed’s bottom lip.

Groaning, Ed doesn’t try to fight it—the tide of panic, of love, of fear that lingers. He hadn’t expected that part, to be honest. All his life and Ed had shown fear the middle finger every time it came knocking. He’s had to, hasn’t he? But then wham, love stomps him to the ground, sets up a home inside his chest, and Ed hasn’t known peace since.

Stede’s fingers trying their damnedest to wiggle under his leather, squeezing at Ed’s ass sure as shit isn’t helping keep him sane.

Harbor by derryday 3.7k E

Ed had spent most of his formative years on ships. By the time he met Stede, the legendary Blackbeard had sea legs for days.

Wooden decks and billowing sails had become almost an extension of his body. He remained sure-footed even when timber strained and creaked. Moving with the push and pull of the sea became as natural to him as breathing.

A ship could heave and buck like an unruly horse as sheets of rain lashed the sails and thunder cracked overhead, and Ed would just shift his weight with the swaying deck, almost smiling at the sea's antics.

The touch of Stede's broad hands, the warm firm press of his thigh against Ed's groin—that storm made even him falter.

Lovers and Madmen by ElapsedSpiral 4.4k E

Ed said "nah, all good" but what he meant was, god as his witness, he was going to marry the [expletive] out of Stede Bonnet.

*

My take on a marriage fic, featuring Stede almost getting cockblocked by his own lack of self-esteem, Ed going full Bridezilla and the poor crew having to deal with them both.

Your Feedback Is Important to Us by ElapsedSpiral 4.1k E

Stede starts holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

AKA my “Stede is going to go off like a horny volcano when he finally gets laid” fic.

*

Featuring Stede’s cursed yet sexy moustache, Swede lore and Lucius being altogether too good at his job(s).

Co-Captain Duties by Fyre 3.5k E

He tugged at the hem, chewing on his lip. Subtle didn’t seem to be getting the message across, so maybe it was time for something a bit more direct. Yeah, they’d changed in front of each other before, but that was changing and they’d hardly been paying that much attention. Or he hadn’t, anyway, not with gorgeous silk in his hands. Fuck’s sake, they were co-captains now, weren’t they?

continue to part two