#So Stede is going to come back‚ he isn’t going to leave Ed alone in the dark (again) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

munsonkitten · 1 year ago

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Izzy Hands has almost met his end on more than one occasion. More than half of which were probably Ed’s own doing, if he’s being completely honest with himself. Each of those times, Izzy crawls out of wherever he’s found himself, right back to barking orders. Every single time. Right back to work like nothing ever happened.

Part of him knew that when he handed Izzy that gun. He definitely knew that when he shot him in the knee. Izzy makes it out, he perseveres. He doesn’t give up because he’s an indestructible little fucker that Ed can’t kill.

That’s just the thing about it, though, isn’t it? Ed didn’t do it this time.

And that’s why Izzy’s underneath the soil they buried him in, beneath the cross they fashioned out of his wooden leg and a stick they found. His cravat hanging around it, his mother’s ring glistening in the sunlight.

Ed spends a lot of time out there, sitting by Izzy like he’s still there. Because the truth is, he just can’t let him go. That’s why he took over that house on the beach where Izzy was laid to rest. That’s why he’s given up pirating to stay near him. It’s why he couldn’t let them toss Izzy into the sea like he probably would’ve wanted.

“Today Stede and me, we patched up the roof of our new inn,” Ed tells him, like Izzy can hear. It just feels like the thing to do when sitting next to someone’s grave, so they don’t feel so alone down there. Sometimes Ed thinks that’s the reason why he’s never been able to just sit with himself, why it felt so wrong to do it in that boat with Fang.

It’s because the whole sea is a graveyard of men he knew once upon a time.

“Ed, dear,” Stede’s voice rings out from the house. “Come inside, now, love. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Ed sighs, sniffles, and wipes the tears he didn’t realize were falling. It’s silly, really. He knew Izzy would die some day. He was almost the cause of it on multiple occasions and didn’t feel a thing when it happened those times.

But now, Ed himself feels like a dead man walking.

He’s missing a limb, missing his right hand. And the thing is, the thing that really hurts most, is that the person he wants to talk to most about it, is the person who’s dead.

“Coming,” Ed calls back.

He pushes himself up off the ground, his bad knee aching from sitting on it wrong this whole time. He doesn’t know how long he’s been out here, but he knows that it’s dinner time now and he came out after they fixed the roof, which was sometime after lunch.

He’s grateful that Stede is giving him the time to mourn, giving him this time to talk with Izzy when he needs to. When things just get so jumbled up in his head he can’t make sense of them, Izzy was the one that took those things and turned them into plans and got Ed’s head on straight enough to execute them.

They were Blackbeard. Not just Ed. Both of them.

And Ed likes being Ed, he does. Blackbeard wasn’t him, and it can’t be him without Izzy by his side.

He just… Wishes that Izzy could come with Ed. That they could be EdandIzzy together, just as they were Blackbeard together.

As he takes his first step back up toward the wooden house, a lone seagull swoops down from the sky and lands on the top of the cross. It coos at him, bobbing its head up and down as it stretches out and shakes off its wet wings. It closes them again, curling in on itself comfortably.

The seagull’s been around, Ed’s seen it, and through the haze of his grief he thinks that it’s nice that something comes to keep Izzy company when Ed’s away.

“That bird won’t leave him alone,” Stede says when Ed comes in. He’s wiping his hands on a dish towel, looking out through the open door with that look on his face. That confused one he’s directed at Ed a few times. Puzzles he can’t quite figure out. “Do you think it’s going to eat him? Do sea birds do that?”

“I dunno, mate,” Ed sighs. “Reckon they probably do.”

He pulls off his jacket and hangs it on one of the hooks Stede nailed to the wall.

“That’s unfortunate,” Stede says, turning back to look at Ed. His face goes from confusion to something soft. Something sad. “How are you today, love?”

“A bit shit, honestly,” Ed answers. “It’s… all a bit shit.”

“I know it is, Edward,” Stede says. He opens up his arms and lets Ed fall into them, one of his hands coming up to cradle Ed’s head. It makes Ed feel small, cared for.

“I’m sorry,” Ed sniffles. “I love this place, I love that we’re here. I just wish…”

“I know, darling,” Stede whispers. “You don’t have to be sorry. Not to me.”

Ed nods and pulls away from the hug, instead bending down to unlace his boots. Stede told him last night they should wear their shoes in the house until they make sure the floor is safe, but it’s a goddamn house, and Ed will take off his shoes if he damn well pleases. What’s a little rusty nail through his foot when the pain in his heart is so much worse.

“Well, I’m going to finish up supper,” Stede says. “I’ll leave you to that.”

“Thank you,” Ed says, short and quick to send Stede back off to the other side of the house.

He knows he’s not being the best partner right now. He knows that. But he just doesn’t know how to explain it all to Stede.

Yes, he loves Stede. He really, truly does. He’d give up piracy and shave his beard a million times over for him, there’s no debate on that. He just didn’t think he’d have to go through life without Izzy. Not like this. Sure, he could give up pirating and send Izzy on his way, but the fucker would always come back, that much Ed is certain of. He would make up excuses to dock and spend the night in Ed’s inn, to drink through the night. It’s always been part of the fantasy.

Every time he imagines his life, Izzy is there in every single outcome. And sure, he’s here now. He’s buried in the dirt a few meters away. That’s not how Ed ever wanted it.

He loves Stede and he always will, but he loved Izzy, too. Best he could. Always did.

Now, he feels like the best he could wasn’t really the whole of it. It was right at the end where his chest was cold and clenching and his chin wouldn’t stop wobbling and his brain went full of so much fog he thinks it had to have been coming out of his ears, where he realized he couldn’t live without Izzy Hands. His family stood behind him, sure, but Izzy was the only one that mattered right then.

He’s felt lost ever since and he doesn’t know how that could possibly be because Stede is guiding him through it. Stede is cooking dinner and he makes sure Ed is taken care of, and he held him last night while they slept on their little bed together, and it’s still… It’s still not enough.

And it should be enough. It should be enough that he has Stede, and he shouldn’t be so broken up about Izzy dying because it was always going to happen.

Ed just thought he’d go first or shortly after. All these years he thought that he would die with Izzy Hands. But that was just Blackbeard. Blackbeard is the only one dying with Izzy Hands, and Edward Teach is still here. Forced to rewrite his own story when the scenes in his head feel like staring at a blank wall.

Life after Izzy Hands is a blank wall, a lighthouse with no fire. He’s going to crash up on the rocks because he fell in love with an anchor that he couldn’t hold onto.

“Ed, darling?” Stede calls out again.

Ed snaps himself out of it. He comes back to the little wooden house with its splintered floorboards and its dirty walls. He pushes his boots over to the side, lines them up side by side next to the door they had to fix when they first arrived.

Fixing things helps. The door latch needed fixing, so Ed did that. The roof needed fixing so he climbed right up there. Their bedroom window was broken so Ed boarded it up until they can find new glass for it.

He can fix these things, so he does.

He walks on socked feet into the kitchen to find Stede there. He ladles something into a bowl, something that Zheng taught him to make with the ingredients and utensils Roach gave from the Revenge’s kitchen. Ed sits down at the table he took with them, something tucked away in the room that was holding all his remaining treasure. There wasn’t much after Calypso’s party, but there was enough to get them started in their little house.

“I was thinking we should call our inn Izzy’s. A way to honor him,” Stede says as he sets a bowl in front of Ed. “How does that sound to you, dear?”

“Think he’d have fuckin’ hated it,” Ed says. “Sounds good to me.”

Stede takes the spot across from him at the table, his own bowl steaming in front of him. Ed looks down at the bits of meat and the noodles swirling around in the broth.

He isn’t really hungry, but Stede’s going to tell him to eat, so he does. It’s good fucking soup.

“Izzy would’ve liked this,” Ed says.

“Well, thank you,” Stede says. “It was Zheng’s recipe, but I don’t think I could do it like her.”

“No, I mean,” Ed says, shaking his head. “He would’ve liked this. All of it. Having a home here, fixing it up, being right by the beach. Wish he could’ve had this. He deserved to have this.”

When Ed looks up from his bowl, Stede’s looking at him with a sad smile and glistening eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just nods and reaches across the table to take one of Ed’s hands in his own.

“I know he was kind of a dick,” Ed says. “You don’t have to pretend he wasn’t, or name your inn after him. I get it, babe, I do. He was a fucking dick, and I miss him, but you don’t have to.”

“He was your dick, Edward,” Stede says, then shakes his head. Ed can’t even crack a smile at it. “I just mean, he was often blunt, and he thought of me as quite the moron, but… You love him, and these last few weeks, I was able to see another side of him. I started to understand that the way he said things didn’t always mean he was mad or aiming to hurt, not all the time, and I know that if I had more time, I would start to fully understand why you love him so.”

“Loved,” Ed whispers.

“Your love doesn’t have to go away just because he’s gone, Edward,” Stede says softly. “He’s still in your heart. Always will be, darling. And that’s okay.”

“I love you,” Ed whispers. Because he has to say it, has to tell Stede that it’s true because it is. He loves Stede so it shouldn’t matter that he’s lost Izzy.

“I know you do,” Stede says. “You can love more than one person, darling. It doesn’t mean you love me less, or that you have to let go of him. I’ve always known that he would be part of our lives, part of our love, no matter what form that may have taken. I just feel horrible that it has to be this way.”

Ed nods, even if he knows Stede is giving him more than he deserves, just saying all of that, implying what he’s implying, because nothing can come from it. What Ed wants, what he thinks he’s always wanted, can never be given to him.

That’s why Stede’s words don’t wash away the pain or guilt. Because Ed would want them both if Izzy were still here. Now that he knows what it’s like to not have him at all.

“Finish your dinner, Edward,” Stede says softly. Gentle in a way Ed loves. “I think we should turn in early tonight.”

They finish up and Ed helps Stede clean up the dishes and put them away in the cupboards. He likes keeping busy, scrubbing their bowls cleaner than they have to be. He can look right out the front window above the wash basin and see Izzy’s grave from here. The seagull is still sitting there, just politely sitting. No scavenging for bones or flesh beneath the dirt.

“Didn’t you say Buttons turned into a seagull?” Stede asks, nudging Ed with his elbow.

Ed nods, and he looks out there again. The bird is looking right at them, black eyes staring right into Ed’s soul, if he even has one anymore.

“No fuckin way,” Ed whispers. “You don’t think…”

“Darling, it was just a little joke,” Stede says.

“No, but he really did,” Ed says. “That’s him out there. Certain of it.”

“I’ve told you, love, that’s not possible,” Stede says, resting a hand over Ed’s forearm. Ed stops scrubbing at the bowl in his hand. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

He stands there for a second longer, staring down that bird, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does.

Stede drags him away from the kitchen and pulls him over to the other room. He helps Ed with his pants, pulls them off his legs and leaves them in a pile of leather on the floor. Ed settles into their bed and scoots over to the wall, watching as Stede undresses.

When Stede settles in beside him and faces him, his eyes ask a question, one Ed has seen countless times now. He nods, just a small little thing, and leans in to press his lips to Stede’s. He’ll never get tired of this, of kissing the man he loves.

“Goodnight Edward,” Stede whispers when he pulls away. “Get some sleep.”

His arm settles heavily over Ed’s waist when he turns over to press his back to Stede’s chest. He curls in on himself, letting himself feel small again, like he did back when he and Izzy were younger, sharing a hammock on Hornigold’s ship, seeking comfort after the horrible days they endured.

It’s always been hard for Ed to fall asleep, but tonight he welcomes it easily.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy for him to stay asleep.

Izzy’s in his dream, the memory of him clutching the bullet wound on his stomach, hands turning red with the blood spilling out. In his dream he leans down and kisses Izzy’s forehead, his cheek, his lips, in those last moments, what he had wanted to do. He whispers I love you, please don’t leave me, Iz, like he should’ve said. I love you and I’m sorry. I love you, I love you.

Because he’s allowed to. Stede said he’s allowed to love Izzy, but loving Izzy like this hurts. It’s painful, knowing that it doesn’t keep him alive in the end.

He wakes up crying.

Something full bodied and overpowering. Sobs shaking every part of him. Choking him, like a rope pulled taut around his neck. He can’t breathe, can’t see through his tears.

“You’re alright, darling,” Stede whispers. He’s sitting up behind Ed, his chest pressed up against his back, but Ed can’t feel him. Can barely hear him.

“What are you fuckers cryin’ about,” comes a rasp from across the room. “Christ, you’d think someone fuckin’ died.”

And no. No, no, no.

“Wake up, Ed, wake up,” he tells himself. “Wake up.”

“You’re awake, Edward.” And that’s Izzy’s voice again, but it can’t be. It can’t be.

“Izzy?” Stede whispers.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Izzy says.

And no, it can’t be him. It can’t be because Izzy’s dead, they buried him. He’s buried out in the yard. Dead, gone. Dead.

Ed’s eyes start to adjust in the darkness, in the faint light of the moon coming in through the open bedroom door. The door that Stede shut before they fell asleep. He scans the room until he sees him in the corner, there in the chair Stede put in their bedroom for whatever reason.

He’s sitting there. Izzy’s sitting there, adjusting the buckles on his wooden leg.

“I guess this is where I thank you for not tossing me into the sea tied to a cannonball,” Izzy says. “Was hard enough digging myself out of that shallow grave. You know I would’ve washed right out of that thing if it rained? What then, Edward? I doubt your boyfriend would’ve liked cleaning that up.”

“What are you—”

“Oh, Edward,” Izzy says. “Didn’t you learn anything during your own brush with death?”

The gravy basket. Purgatory.

“I was stuck somewhere,” Izzy says. “And then I heard your crying. Oh Izzy, please don’t go. Izzy, I'm so sorry. Figured I should probably see what all that was about.”

Ed climbs out of bed, leaving Stede where he is. He takes a few steps toward Izzy, reaching out just to make sure he’s real. To make sure he’s really there. He reaches out until his hand comes in contact with the scratchy little hairs on Izzy’s cheek. He slides his hand down to cup his chin, the beard there.

“You want me to pinch you?” Izzy offers, his voice low and quiet in the dark room. They’re all so quiet, the sounds of nothing but their breathing and the waves crashing outside.

“You’re really back?” Ed asks.

“I’m really back, Edward. I believe you were the one that called me an indestructible little fucker.”

Ed laughs, something choked and wet. He falls down to his knees, his hands settling on Izzy’s thighs. He drops his head, sobs forcing their way out of his body, choked and strangled. A gloved hand rests in his head.

“Oh, get up, you twat,” Izzy says. It’s laced with something that sounds like affection coming from Izzy Hands. From anyone else it would be an insult, a knife in the gut. From Izzy, it’s everything Ed thought he’d never get to have ever again.

He doesn’t get up, just pushes himself closer, pushes his face into Izzy’s stomach, the spot where the wound is, and Izzy winces.

“Not healed, you fucker. Just because I’m back from the dead doesn’t mean I wasn’t there,” Izzy grunts.

“I don’t get it,” Ed cries. “I don’t get how you’re here.”

“It’s harder than that to kill me, Eddie,” Izzy whispers, the name bringing back the memory of his last words. Ed thinks he’d kill anyone else for calling him that, but not Izzy. “Wasn’t gonna let that fucking moron be the death of me.”

“If I may interrupt—” Stede says from behind Ed. “Izzy, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”

“Sorry for dragging dirt through your lovely home, Bonnet,” Izzy says in that way that says he isn’t sorry at all.

“Up you go, c’mon,” Stede says. “We have a lovely bathtub. Allow me to warm some water while Ed helps you undress.”

Stede lights a few candles before leaving the room, illuminating them in the orange glow of fire. Izzy has seen better days, that’s for sure. He’s caked in dirt and blood, and he looks like he’s about to keel over at any second.

He helps him with his clothes, carefully unbuttons his shirt and pulls it off his shoulders. He can see the wound now, the crusted blood and the hole in his abdomen. It’s in a bad spot, but as Ed looks at it, he sees how Izzy could’ve survived it. He can see it more clearly now, where it is, how he likely fell unconscious due to blood loss instead of anything important being hit.

There’s probably still a chance of him dying. From infection, most likely. From not being able to eat or keep anything down, also likely.

“Bath’s actually quite shit,” Ed says for something to do. “Not as nice as the one on the Revenge.”

Izzy just nods, standing there with his hand braced on the wall while Ed moves to the laces on his pants.

“Are you sure Bonnet’s okay with you getting in my pants?” Izzy croaks.

“Hush, Izzy,” Ed says. He doesn’t feel like now is the time to talk about it. It’s not the time to talk about it.

He gets Izzy undressed and gathers the clothes into a pile. They're British uniform clothes. They didn’t want to undress him just to bury him, so Ed has his old stuff tucked away in his trunk at the foot of the bed. He has them, and he’ll give them back when Izzy’s clean. Maybe for tonight, though, Ed will suggest one of Stede’s night shirts for Izzy to sleep in. Something easy to get on and off, something that will offer easier access to his wound.

“Do you want the leg back on?” Ed asks, trying not to look as Izzy stands there on one foot, naked save from the cravat around his neck, the ring secure above the knot. He’ll let Izzy take that off if he wants to.

“Just help me hobble,” Izzy says.

With an arm around Izzy’s waist, Ed helps him jump toward the little bathroom across from the bedroom. Stede’s in there, pouring a bucket of water into the large basin. He looks over his collection of bath oils, running his fingers along the carefully labeled bottles before picking one up and pulling out the stopper.

“Should I leave you to it?” Stede asks.

“No,” Ed and Izzy say at the same time. They look at each other and Izzy shrugs.

“Right,” Stede says, looking at a loss for words. “Well, in you go, then. Shouldn’t be too hot”

Ed helps Izzy over the ledge and gently lowers him down.

“Fuck,” Izzy groans. “Haven’t had a bath in fucking ever.”

“It’s quite nice, isn’t it?” Stede says softly.

He’s wringing his hands as he stands there, like he’s way out of his depth right now. Ed wants to reassure him, but he doesn’t really know what to say. He can’t shake the shock of his first mate coming back from the dead, crawling his way out of his grave and into his bedroom. He feels like he’s going to wake up from this dream and find himself back in his nightmare.

Instead of saying anything, Ed takes one of the wash clothes Stede set out and dips it into the water next to Izzy’s knee, the one that just ends. Because of something he did to him.

He can fix this. He can fix this now, one step at a time. Just like he fixed the door latch, boarded up the window, and climbed up on the roof. Just like how he’s going to fix the floorboards in the entryway tomorrow and find another bed in town to slide into place next to his and Stede’s so all three of them can fit in it together. Even though now isn’t the time to talk about that.

He can fix this. He’s good at fixing things, especially when Izzy’s involved.

“Alright, there, Eddie?” Izzy asks, soft and concerned.

Ed has his hand still submerged in water, lost in his thoughts while he stares down at the stump of Izzy’s knee.

“I’m perfect, Iz,” Ed says.

He pulls the washcloth out of the water and gets to work, slowly wiping away the blood caked around his wound, just gently dabbing as it comes loose from his skin and the hair on his body. Izzy winces, but doesn’t say anything. Grips Ed’s arm but doesn’t push him away.

He’s always been good at handling pain. It just breaks Ed’s heart that he can’t take it all away. That’s something he can’t really fix.

“I’m sorry Edward,” Izzy says.

“No,” Ed whispers. He squeezes out the towel and brings it to Izzy’s face. “No.”

“Yes,” Izzy insists. “I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

“You’re back now,” Ed whispers. “You’re back now.”

And even if Izzy doesn’t make it, at least Ed has more time with him. At least he can say what should’ve said, and done what he wanted to do. Not right now, not this very second, but he will. He has more time.

Stede rests a hand on his shoulder, warm and reassuring. Behind him, he has his guiding light, and in front of him he has his anchor. He needs them both because without one, he’ll just be adrift forever, and without the other, he’ll crash up on the rocks.

After Izzy’s as clean as he can be, they both help him out and set him down on a stool to dry him off. Stede talks, says something about getting him a leg custom-made to fit him and his needs, and Ed just listens. He listens as Izzy huffs, watches as he rolls his eyes and mutters stupid fucking Stede Bonnet under his breath, and he sees the smile on Stede’s lips like he’s missed this too.

“Thank you for doing this,” Izzy says after a while. “You didn’t have to do any of this.”

“We care about you, Izzy,” Stede says, helping Izzy into a long sock. “Ed hasn’t been himself since you left us.”

“I feel like I’ve had this same conversation with you,” Izzy says.

“Yes, well,” Stede sighs. “It appears that he needs both of us. Isn’t that right, love?”

Stede’s looking at him now, waiting for an answer.

Ed nods. “Yeah, guess so.”

“I’m going to give you two a moment while I figure out sleeping arrangements,” Stede says, pushing himself up to stand. He squeezes Ed’s shoulder. “You should tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Izzy grunts when Stede’s left and shut the door behind him.

“It wasn’t the same without you, mate,” Ed says. “I didn’t realize I’d miss you so much.”

It’s vulnerable. It’s hard to say. He knows he needs to say it, to let it all out. Stede said it was okay to love more than one person at a time. He thinks of Jim, of Archie and Oluwande and Zheng. How they’ve all fallen into each other and seem to make it work just fine.

“And I, well, I fear I might love you,” Ed blurts out, all in a rush.

“You fear?” Izzy scoffs.

“Hey, now, I’m trying to… I’m being serious, mate,” Ed says. “I wasn’t good to you, I know that. I know that I’m the reason you lost your leg, and I know I went a bit crazy back there, but I… I can’t live without you, Iz. I tried, and I knew I wasn’t going to last long like this.”

“What about Stede?” Izzy asks.

“He said I can love more than one person,” Ed tells him. “That loving you doesn’t mean I love him less, and loving him doesn’t mean I can’t love you. It’s… Fuck, I don’t expect it to be easy, but it’ the truth.”

“And what am I supposed to do with this truth, Edward?” Izzy asks. “I’m supposed to split you with Bonnet? Leave the room every time you want to dock your ship in his harbor, eh?”

Ed snorts. He can’t help it. “Don’t know about all that. I just know that I want you around while I figure it all out.”

“What do you want me to say to that?”

“Say you’ll stay,” Ed says. “Say you’ll love me, too.”

“Edward, I’ve loved you for thirty years,” Izzy says. “Didn’t take you almost dying for me to figure it out.”

“I know, Iz, I know,” Ed says. “I don’t expect you to just forgive me for everything, or to jump into my arms, okay? I just… I just needed you to know. I just need you to stay.”

“Don’t know where else I’d go. Didn’t see any boats on that beach,” Izzy mutters. “Fine, Ed, yes, I’ll stay. But… What about Bonnet?”

“You keep asking about Stede,” Ed says. “Might start to think you’re in love with him, too, mate.”

Izzy scowls at him, but his cheeks turn pink in the candlelight, and oh.

“You two got close, didn’t you?” Ed asks gently. “That’s nice. He cares for you, you know.”

Izzy swats at him half heartedly and Ed finally stands from where he’s crouched down. He helps Izzy stand, the night shirt Stede put over his head, falling down to hang beneath his knees.

They open the door to see Stede standing on the other side. He takes over on Izzy’s other side, his arm coming around his waist and crossing over Ed’s.

“There you both are,” Stede says. “Was about to come check on you.”

Stede guides them back to the bedroom, and Ed sees a bunch of blankets and sheets laid out on the floor, one of the pillows at the top of the makeshift bed.

“You two take the bed tonight,” Stede tells them. “It’ll be more comfortable for you, Izzy.”

“I can take the floor,” Ed offers.

“No, no, dear,” Stede says, helping lower Izzy down onto the mattress. “You keep Izzy safe tonight, I’ll just be right here on the floor.”

He stands there as Izzy scoots over to the wall and lays down on his back. Ed looks at Stede for just another second before nodding in agreement.

A kiss gets pressed to his forehead, then to his lips, something soft and sweet as Stede pulls the blankets up over both of them.

When he pulls back, he reaches over and cups Izzy’s cheek, thumb rubbing gently over his skin, something soft and affectionate that Ed is sure Izzy is going to smack away. Instead, Izzy presses his face further into the hand and his eyes flutter shut, a small sigh falling from his parted lips.

“There you both are, tucked in safe and sound,” Stede says softly, pulling his hand away to straighten the blanket over their chests. “Sleep well, my loves.”

The endearment isn’t lost on Ed, the plural of it all. Loves. Both of them, it seems. He feels Izzy’s hand find and squeeze his under the blanket, holding onto him like they did in their hammock thirty years ago. He knows that Izzy heard it too, that he doesn’t know how to accept it, how to let it comfortably wash over him.

A small whimper falls from Izzy, and Ed turns over to face him.

“It’s alright,” Ed whispers. “Scary at first, I know. You think you don’t deserve it, but you do. You do, Izzy.”

He sees Izzy nod in the dark, and feels his hand squeeze his own.

“You sure you want this, Edward?” Izzy asks, his strained words warm breaths against Ed’s neck.

He slides his fingers over Izzy’s wrist, feeling the thrumming pulse beneath his skin. The proof that Izzy’s alive, that he’s here with him, that they’re allowed to love each other like this.

“Always did,” Ed tells him. He presses his lips to Izzy’s forehead, feeling the warmth of his skin against his mouth. Hears the sharp intake of breath from Izzy. “Always will.”

And it’s the truth, the best he can give.

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grey-and-green · 1 year ago

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Ed vs Blackbeard

And why they can’t just live happily on the Revenge

When I first watched Season 1, I thought Ed liking the cashmere and wanting to go to the French party were about him wanting to be fancy and have nice things.

And like, sure, maybe he’s been told that he didn’t deserve nice things. That’s basically what his mother told him; that god decided he shouldn’t have fine things.

But with more info in Season 2, I think it was about allowing himself to be soft.

He survived for so long because he was scary pirate Blackbeard. He had to be tough, and dark, and mean, and severe. He had to play the part of Blackbeard, and that was the only kind of success and survival story he ever saw, and the only path he saw for someone born into his position.

Then he meets Stede, who enjoyed the soft side and the pirate side equally. Like, pirating was a skill he had, but it wasn’t his most valuable characteristic. He could be silly, and soft, and gentle, and relaxed - and that was maybe the first time he had had that side of himself accepted and even rewarded. He genuinely wants to be “just Ed” but that hasn’t been an option before. Even back on the ship, after Stede leaves, he is still trying to be himself and be accepted as Ed because it felt better. And maybe, just maybe, this crew will allow it.

But then fucking Izzy comes in and says that Ed has no value and deserves to die and that only Blackbeard is worthy and that soft is punishable.

And he snaps. Of course he does. He had his first taste of love and acceptance. Then Stede left (Ed was worthless) and Izzy threatened him (Ed is worthless) and Blackbeard is the only coping-mechanism he’s ever developed, so he dials it up to 11.

But he can’t be Blackbeard 100% of the time, not anymore. He’s still Ed when he’s alone. He can’t go back to the old ways, but he can’t live the life he thought Stede could give him.

So Blackbeard gets even more intense, and Ed becomes even more depressed, and we get near-fatal self-destruction.

The outcome:

What Ed needs in order to be content (and safe, and sane) can’t coexist with a continued career in piracy. It just can’t. Every time he’s forced to do violence or threaten someone or anything that’s piracy and not just sailing - his insecurity about the value of Ed-vs-Blackbeard is going to be triggered.

So we have:

option 1: hurt - Stede doesn’t want to give up piracy now that he’s getting good at it (or some other external forces that mean they can’t retire) and it causes another rift

option 2: comfort - Jeff’s Inn by the Sea and a simple life of comfort and quiet.

option 3: both - they’re planning a third season so we’re not getting a fully resolved happy ending next week.

Edit 1: I made this post about an hour before E6-7 dropped, but I really think I’m right about option 1. Ed’s trauma won’t survive continued piracy, and Stede isn’t willing to give it up.

Edit 2: just finished E7

#ofmd #ofmd2 #ofmd theory #ofmd thoughts #our flag means death #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #ed teach #Jeff’s Inn by the Sea #ofmd s2 spoilers

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lgbtqasacrew · 1 year ago

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Can I request an OFMD post-S2 AU Steddyhands fanfic where Izzy survived Ricky's bullet but it is uncertain for a while if he is going to make it or not and Stede and Ed are practically glued to his side, refusing to leave him in case he... neither of them dares to even think that word?

Summary: Izzy survives the gunshot wound but ends up unconscious, whilst Ed and Stede stay by his bedside they realise that they might both be in love the man.

Relationships: established Stede x Ed, Pre-steddyhands

Word count: 1.7k+

Warnings: Descriptions of injury, hand wavey pirate medical care, mentions of violence

Ed gently lowers Izzy onto the deck, it hits him, how close they are to the place where he almost died. Almost being the word he clings onto, because Izzy isn’t going anywhere either. He holds the man close as he drifts in and out of consciousness. “Stay with me Iz, you’ve gotta stay with me” tears rolling down his cheek.

Stede goes into full panic mode, running around the ship collecting anything that could help. He’s almost scared to return to the deck, scared of what he might find, what if Izzy - no, he’s going to be fine. He has to be fine, he’s one of the strongest men Stede has ever met.

He runs back to the deck, just in case time is running out. Ed is still holding him, Izzy’s eyes are closed and he dreads the worst. “Is he?”

Ed shakes his head “He’s still breathing, just” relief floods over him.

Stede tosses the medical supplies to the side and crouches down beside the two men. He takes Izzy’s hand in his, it feels so cold.

“Ok, you both need to move now” Roach tells them. “I can’t help him with you in the way” he adds when they don’t move.

“Come on love” Stede reluctantly releases Izzy’s hand to take Ed’s instead.

Neither man moves far, huddled together as they watch Roach do everything he can. They barely notice the rest of the crew who are crowded around behind them, too caught up in their own distress.

Ed’s squeezing Stede’s hand so hard it hurts but he can’t even find it in himself to mind, in fact it’s quite nice to have the distraction. Izzy looks so pale laid out on the deck, it breaks his heart. They were finally starting to build a friendship, or what Stede had hoped was becoming a friendship, he was becoming quite fond of the man.

Eventually Roach manages to stem the bleeding before he wraps the bandages. It’s all he can do, now it’s just a waiting game. Ed carries him carefully to the captain’s cabin, gently lowering him onto the bed, wanting him to have the most comfortable bed for his recovery.

Stede leaves the deck with a promise to the crew that he will keep them updated, before he closes the door to the cabin behind him. Leaving the three of them alone, he hovers by the door, too scared to see Izzy like that again. It takes all his courage to finally approach the bed.

Ed has pulled up a chair next to the bed, he looks so dejected it breaks Stede’s heart all over again. It suddenly hits him, the similarity of the situation he’d found himself in only days ago. The way he’d sat next to Ed’s bedside when he thought the man to be dead. How he thought he’d never see Ed again, and now history was repeating itself. Why had it taken Izzy getting shot to make him realise how much care he has for the man.

He tries to keep his tears silent, not wanting to add to Ed’s distress, but he can’t help the sob that tears through his throat. Izzy lying there so still, he should be walking around with his unicorn leg tapping against the floor, teasing him about curses or how bad he is swinging on a rope.

Ed’s head immediately snaps up in Stede’s direction, the man just stood there, tears streaming down his face. He rushes over to him, embracing the blonde in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay, love. He’s going to be okay”

He holds Stede until the sobs subside, gently reassuring the man as he rubs soothing circles into his back. Eventually Stede pulls away, wiping the remaining tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, Ed. I’m being selfish, Izzy needs you right now”

“Hey, none of that okay? I love you, if you’re upset then I want to comfort you, just like you’re comforting me. C’mon, love” guiding Stede back to the bed where he climbs in between Izzy and the windows. Ed takes his seat in the chair by the bed, immediately taking Izzy’s hand again whilst Stede takes the other.

Ed’s fingers trace over the callouses on Izzy’s skin, every one a reminder of his years of work and dedication, most of which were right by Ed’s side. Two twenty somethings fighting side by side, dreaming of bigger, better. Now look at them, one almost dead and one back from the dead. How their relationship had gotten muddled over the years, friends, companions in some way, first mate and captain. Both holding some sort of love for the other but never being able to define or voice it. But he can now, too little too late, he thinks. His love for Izzy is big and real and so different to the way he loves Stede but not any less important or beautiful.

“This is all my fault” Ed whispers

Stede can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “What?”

“I took his fuckin’ leg Stede, and Ricky used that against him, and now he might-“ he couldn’t even finish that sentence. The time of the Kraken is still such a blur to Ed but he has flashes of memory, pushing Izzy against a wall, taking his toes, shooting him in the leg. They’ll haunt him forever, even more so if Izzy doesn’t make it. He hates how they could never communicate right, always using the other in some way or another, now he may never get to fix that.

“Ed no, what happened with Izzy’s leg was a terrible incident, but he forgave you. He wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. Anyway if anyone’s to blame, it’s me”

“Stede-“

“It was all my idea, even when it was pointed out to me that this was a suicide mission I still insisted it went ahead” He’d thought it such a great idea, dangerous, but if executed well he’d felt it could really work. Got too caught up in the theatrics and the fancy outfits, but had he seriously considered the risk it could put his crew in. Yes they’re pirates, but he’s their captain, a captain should protect their crew, Should protect the ones they love.

“Yeah but we chose to go along with it, it was a good idea Stede, we knew the risks. If I’m not allowed to blame myself. you’re not allowed to either, okay?”

“Fine” Stede relents. Both men still feeling guilty on the inside, but they needed to concentrate on Izzy right now.

A day goes by, Izzy still unconscious, neither man has left his side. Only eating or drinking when Roach brings them something whilst he checks on Izzy. The only sleep either of them have is when they pass out with exhaustion, they couldn’t bear it if anything happened whilst they were asleep.

Sometimes they talk, sometimes they just stare at Izzy, willing him to wake up, it never works. Stede’s mind drifts to the first time they’d met, they’d been so bitchy to each other, but he realises now that he’d kinda enjoyed it. Since he’s returned that bitchiness has still been there but it felt different, almost friendly, almost like two lovers. Because he does, doesn’t he, he’s somehow fallen in love with Izzy Hands and that thought thrills and scares him in equal measures.

Another day passes much the same, Ed’s notices a shift in Stede, maybe he’s noticed that Ed’s feelings for Izzy aren’t just platonic. He’s going to have to do that talking things through thing he isn’t he. “Stede?”

“Yes love?”

“There’s something I need to tell you but it doesn’t change how I feel about you, okay?”

“That’s quite ominous darling, I guess you better tell me”

“I think I’m in love with Izzy, actually I know I am, for the first time in my life it’s finally obvious. But I also love you so so much, and I don’t know what to do”

“I think I do too”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I know he doesn’t like me like that, but I really do”

“What now?”

“I don’t know” Stede admits “but we’ll work it out and I want you to know, I would never stop the two of you from being together”

By the third day they’re both totally exhausted and confused, all these newly realised feelings making the whole situation even more complicated.

“Do you think he’s in the gravy basket?” Ed asks at some point, remembering his own time there.

Stede smiles slightly for the first time since the accident, remembering Ed’s story of MerStede. “I think he might be, do you think he’ll see merpeople too?”

Ed laughs “I think that was more my thing, but if he is there, I hope he sees whatever he needs to bring him back”

Izzy is in fact in the gravy basket. If you had asked past Izzy what he thought he’d see if he ever went to the gravy basket, well firstly he would’ve told you that such a thing didn’t exist. But if it did exist, he’d say he’d see Blackbeard asking him to come back and fight with him, as first mate Israel Hands but also as his partner. But that’s not what present Izzy needs to see, he doesn’t need Blackbeard, he needs Edward, his Eddie. But even more surprising, he needs to see Bonnet - Stede, he needs to see the two men he loves most in this world. It only took him almost dying to realise that, whilst he always knew he had love for Edward, it’s a massive shock that he also feels the same way about Stede, or maybe it’s not so surprising after all. Maybe it had always meant to be that way, there’s only one way to find out.

They’re both taken out of their thoughts by a sharp intake of breath, looking down to see Izzy with his eyes wide open. “Eddie” he rasps

“I’m here Iz, I’m here” immediately grabbing his hand

Stede tries to not feel upset, of course he’d want Ed, they’ve known each other for years, they’re in love. but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. “Stede?” He’s almost so lost in his self pity that he doesn’t register that Izzy’s not only asking for him, but that’s he’s called him Stede”

He takes Izzy’s other hand in his “I’m here Izzy”

#ofmd #ofmd fanfic #ofmd stede #ofmd ed #ofmd izzy #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #stede x ed #stede x izzy #ed x izzy #steddyhands #ofmd spoilers

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o-wild-west-wind · 1 year ago

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okay…one more thing. kind of feeling crazy about how Stede, crying by Ed’s literal deathbed, thinks this is all his fault. but it’s not!!!

I’m not saying his leaving had no weight on the situation but a) in this instance it really wasn’t intentional, he was very much almost murdered and b) Ed was doing just fine without him—sad and emo, yeah, eating marmalade and writing mediocre breakup songs—but he was okay. he was healing without Stede, because he wasn’t truly alone anymore, even without him. he was retiring on his own! ready to forget piracy and just get weird and silly and artsy and let the crew be his family now. life beginning again.

but Izzy is the one that actually snapped him. Izzy is who forced death back into Ed’s mind like a virus, who forced the wheel back into tragedy after convincing them both they had steered into the wrong genre. Stede, though he made mistakes and messes of his own, is not who pushed Ed into the abyss; he actually gave Ed the inoculation that was keeping him alive! because while love is the thesis of this show, romantic love really isn’t what pushes Ed to the brink; it’s self-love, or a lack thereof, and Izzy is the one who cuts the loose threads of self-actualization away in ep 10 and reminds Ed that unless he is Blackbeard (classic comes-back-wrong trope by the way, which maybe I’ll expand on later), he has no right being alive.

i do think the guilt seeping out of all three of them is delicious, because they all have their reasons to feel it (to varying degrees)—but Stede’s is misplaced, and Izzy is doing this insanely complicated and deliciously painful thing where he’s trying to spare Stede the details out of what seems like a genuine desire to protect Stede’s feelings while simultaneously pushing as much of his own guilt onto Stede as he can get away with. saying they both did this. and from Izzy, that’s honestly growth!! he’s admitting that he fucked up and that fuck up put real blood on his hands!! but he’s still unwilling/unready to admit out loud that he’s the foundation on the pyramid of everyone’s fucking-each-other-over trauma here—including the foundation of the trauma inflicted by ed onto the crew, because he wasn’t careful what he asked his god for when he asked for blackbeard back—and this is even though he truly seems to understand what he’s done now. con’s stellar performance oozes the weight of Izzy’s guilt so gloriously (and given this show’s forgiveness theme I do think his full development is on the cards, which I’m very excited to see).

but Stede doesn’t recognize that yet because how could he!!!

i could go on but I’m too tired so I just wanna tl;dr that like…god, stede needs a hug. someone please give him a hug. and a massage. he’s going through the horrors and carrying everyone’s burdens on his back like a penance and STILL managing to stay silly despite despite despite and he needs a HUG DAMMIT

#when will god stop my sinful hand #girl help I can’t stop thinking about this *clenches fist* silly goofy pirate comedy #this is the tip of the iceberg of my thoughts but I think I’m word vomited out #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #tw: suicide #suicide #idk if this is Izzy crit because I think he’s fascinating and I’m giving him grace and I think the show is too but I can tag it if asked

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honeyskullz · 1 year ago

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PREDICTIONS FOR OMFD S2

THERE’LL BE SPOILERS IN THIS

So Ep3 ends off with the reunion (beautiful parallel) but in the trailer it’s sort of implied that they’ll separate and reunite (again) later on (I feel it’s implied in the “we’re shipmates” “former shipmates” scene). So my guess is that for ep 4 Ed is gonna insist that he leaves the revenge and goes off by himself to “find himself” (i.e. do some soul searching on who Blackbeard and Ed Teach really are). I also think he’s gonna leave because he still feels betrayed/hurt by Stede and can’t really be around him rn. BUT I also think that another part of him will leave because he feels like he doesn’t deserve Stede. He hurt Stede’s crew/friends/family, how could Stede ever forgive him for that? Additionally, he probably feels like he’s a poison now since that’s what his crew/the revenge crew told him (and tried to kill him over). So he thinks that if he and Stede were together he’d just end up poisoning him too. So In summary I think Ed is gonna go off on his own to work on himself and actually try to be better. BUT WAIT IM NOT FINISHED cuz obviously [Izzy Voice] Stede Fucking Bonnet isn’t gonna let that slide. Stede is persistent and is gonna want Ed to know that he doesn’t have to be alone, and that even though Ed did horrible things he forgives him for it and still loves him, and that he thinks despite both of their flaws, they can make it work. I think Stede will initially give Ed his space but he’ll let him know that he’s not giving up on him and that he’ll always be there for him; and I think they probably run into each other accidentally as opposed to Stede outwardly looking for him this time, but I think Stede will take that opportunity to try and convince Ed to come back.

This is just my silly little prediction and I can’t wait til next Thursday to see if I’m even vaguely right <3

#spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ed teach #stede bonnet

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elapsed-spiral · 1 year ago

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Fic Delivery Service!

So, AO3 is still down and looks like it might be down for a while (boo, leave the poor website alone, ya weirdos).

In the meantime, if you're desperate for a fic, I've got the following fics of mine available as PDFs. As an added bonus, I can send them to the email address of your choosing using the burner email account I used to make my Google Docs SMAU. In other words, if you fancy reading any of the following fics as a PDF, Stede Bonnet can send them to you! DM me if you'd like any!

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explicit

AUs no-one asked for:

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern AU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story). Modern AU. Teen

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It’s going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen

Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen

Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit

KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede's all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern AU. Teen

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): A brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

#ofmd fanfic #gentlebeard fanfic #ofmd #ofmd fic

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thetragicallynerdy · 1 year ago

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So many of your WIPs sound really intriguing but I'm gonna go with "and we will build a home from the wreckage - jim olu cowboys" (for now 😉)

Hahaha aww thanks friend!!

So this one is actually partially posted already!! It's still in my WIP folder because all of the chapters are in one big document because I'm terrible like that.

The premise is: Jim, an outlaw in ~1770s old West, is on the run from Spanish Jackie's gang after being shot. They try and break into Oluwande's barn to get shelter, and he catches them, and gives them a place to stay and heal. The town Oluwande lives near is run by notorious US Marshall Stede Bonnet and his partner, a retired Blackbeard.

If you feel like reading the two chapters that are up, it's posted here! It updates SLOWLY. Like, it's been 9 months since the last chapter.

Here's a long snippet from probably the next chapter!

And if anyone feels like dropping me an ask for the WIP folder game, my long list of WIP titles is here!

“Oh – Oluwande –" Stede gives Oluwande a smile. "Fang wants something from you. He’s in the kitchen! Go on, go on back –“

Oluwande gives them a sympathetic look, then disappears. If the suspicious timing hadn’t already set them on edge, that would have done it. They watch him head back towards the kitchen with growing apprehension. And then he’s gone, and they are alone, but for Stede and Ed.

Ducking under their hat and hunching their shoulders, Jim knocks back the rest of their whiskey and reaches for their coin purse. But Stede is already sliding into view, that too bright smile on his face.

“Jim,” he stage whispers, loud and too cheery in the quiet of the near empty saloon. “I’ve got something for you.” He sets a yellowed piece of paper on the bar in front of them, sliding it over.

They don’t need to pick it up. They already know what it is, as soon as he fucking sets it down. But they pick it up anyway, everything in them going cold, numb. They’d hoped – they’d hoped.

Jim stares down at their face, their name, the $1000 bounty. This isn’t the one from Jackie, the insultingly low one. No, this one comes from [COUNTY NAME], government certified. This one – this one they can’t run away from.

They look at Stede, then at their bounty poster. Side eye Ed, wondering how quick they can reach for their knife. If they can strike first, maybe they can be non-lethal –

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you, mate,” Ed says, voice coiled like a snake as he wipes another glass clean. “Not a good idea.”

Their hand does not shake. They nod, stare down at the poster again. “Outside, then?”

“What? No, no one’s going outside –“ Stedes smile drops. Jim can’t make sense of the upset on his face, the guilt. “This isn’t – I’m not challenging you to a dual.” He makes a weird sort of grimace at Ed. “I should’ve burned it, shouldn’t I? Oh, I thought maybe I should –“

They don’t understand. They don’t want a duel – don’t want to have to leave, don’t want to have to kill this bright and odd man, don’t want to have to ruin Oluwande’s home – but they will. They will, if they have to, so why is Stede saying no –

Oh. Oh, that’s – that’s worse.

God, they need to leave. They won’t let Stede throw them in prison, won’t let him make them rot behind bars until they finally hang –

They glance at Ed. Stede, they know they can take, with a knife or a gun or even just their bare hands. But Ed – Ed is fucking Blackbeard. And they’re good, they’re very good – but they don’t know if they can beat him. Not with a still healing wound, and not without having seen him fight. And the way he watches them now, nearly lazily, tells them it would be a terrible idea.

“Don’t think so,” Ed says, still cleaning and cleaning his glass. “Think Jim here’s the sort that needs to see it burned themselves.”

Jim grits their teeth. They’re scared, and they don’t understand, and that always makes them angry. “What the fuck are you talking about, burning it?”

“Oh – oh dear.” Stede looks dismayed. “You thought I was bringing you in, didn’t you?”

“Aren’t you?” They spit out, and they barely manage to keep the torrent of curses in.

“No,” Stede says, voice going gentle. “No, I’m not. I’m giving you your bounty poster, so you can destroy it. If new ones come in, and you’re still here – well, we can destroy those ones, too.”

#ofmd fanfic #jim jimenez #tealoranges #cowboy au #tragicallynerdy writes

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crustose · 1 year ago

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The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds, reordered to fit Steddyhands timeline

Pet Sounds is about Stede, Ed, and Izzy. and here's the proof. Listen on Spotify

Wouldn't It Be Nice

Ed/Izzy, Hornigold era. Encapsulates the joy of finding each other, while yearning for better times. Hoping that one day they’ll have it, if they just hold on for a little while longer.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new? After having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through But happy times together we've been spending I wish that every kiss was never-ending Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it

Discussing mutiny, building Blackbeard, together. Longing for the kind of life that isn’t ruled by Hornigold any longer.

I Just Wasn't Made for These Times

Ed “It’s all so fuckin’ boring’ Teach

Every time I get the inspiration To go change things around No one wants to help me look for places Where new things might be found Where can I turn when my fair weather friends cop out? What's it all about?

I Know There's an Answer

Co-Captains? Co-Captains.

I know so many people who think they can do it alone They isolate their heads and stay in their safety zones

Now how can I come on And tell them the way that they live could be better? [Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse, floggings, keelhaulings. And my thought is, "Why?” And also, what if it wasn't like that?]

Here Today

Izzy, warning Ed against Stede.

It starts with just a little glance now Right away you're thinkin' 'bout romance now You know you ought to take it slower But you just can't wait to get to know her A brand new love affair is such a beautiful thing But if you're not careful think about the pain it can bring

It makes you feel so bad It makes your heart feel sad It makes your days go wrong It makes your nights so long

Izzy, warning Stede against Ed

Right now you think that she's perfection This time is really an exception Well, you know I hate to be a downer But I'm the guy she left before you found her Well, I'm not saying you won't have a good love with her But I keep on remembering things like they were

That's Not Me

Stede leaves, thinking he’s doing the right thing for everyone. Once he reckons with that, he can return with the confidence that he loves Ed, and that the Revenge is home.

I had to prove that I could make it alone now But that's not me I wanted to show how independent I'd grown now But that's not me I could try to be big in the eyes of the world What matters to me is what I could be to just one girl [Ed Teach btw]

I'm a little bit scared 'cause I haven't been home in a long time [Stede talking to Ed’s wanted poster] You needed my love and I know that I left at the wrong time

I'm Waiting for the Day

Stede/Ed/Izzy, at various points. They were there for each other, bridging those times when various iterations of the three of them were broken up.

I kissed your lips and when your face looked sad It made me think about him and that you still loved him so [S2 Stede to Ed and Izzy, separately] You didn't think, no, that I could sit around and watch him take yo You didn't think that I could sit back and let you go

Izzy, S1, hoping that the duel would get Ed back.

Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder)

Ed/Izzy. Those first moments of reconciliation, when it’s just the two of them. They can’t really talk about it, not yet, but they can sit together, shoulder to shoulder [well, shoulder to upper arm more like], hands gently clasped, and just be.

I can hear so much in your sighs And I can see so much in your eyes There are words we both could say Come close, close your eyes and be still Don't talk, take my hand and let me hear your heart beat

Sloop John B

Stede/Izzy, that night that Ed left. Stede’s excitement at being respected as a real pirate, giving way to his anxiety over Ed. Izzy helps him through it.

Around Nassau town we did roam Drinkin' all night Got into a fight Well, I feel so broke up I wanna go home Call for the captain ashore, let me go home

You Still Believe in Me

Ed/Izzy. Ed’s wonder and gratitude that Izzy, against all odds, stays.

Every time we break up, you bring back your love to me And after all I've done to you, how can it be You still believe in me

God Only Knows

Steddyhands. No explanation needed.

If you should ever leave me Well, life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me?

#I am praying people at this coffee shop didn't watch me spend an hour switching btwn google docs and genius lyrics making this #izzy hands #ofmd #steddyhands #edizzy #stizzy

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trans-top-stede · 2 years ago

Note

Hello. So I had this funny idea after reading Sex Ed to leave a comment about my own dead batteries in the style of a fic, but accidentally wrote 1750 words. Enjoy!

“Wanna do something weird?” Ed asks.

Stede is barely through the door when his roommate addresses him. “Sure,” he says without a thought. Because, honestly, there isn’t much Stede wouldn’t do if Ed wanted to do it with him.

He looks up to see Ed sitting on his bed, in nothing but a pair of black boy shorts, his box of sex toys in front of him. Well, that gets Stede’s blood going pretty much immediately. He turns to lock the door behind him, toes off his shoes before he makes his way to his own bed. But oh? What’s this?

Ed is sliding his collection back under the bed.

“Erm, what did you have in mind?” Stede tries to keep his voice light, tone inquisitive. He’s always ready to learn after all.

“See, I was about to enjoy some solo time, but now that you’re here, I figured the time could be spent more productively.”

Stede’s heartbeat picks up. It’s been a week or so since The Vibrator Incident, and they haven’t really talked about it. Of course, Stede had been using Ed’s toys whenever he got a moment alone. Always cleaning them thoroughly, then putting them away in different spots than he found them, making sure Ed would know which ones he’d explored when he returned to find something for his own enjoyment.

“Why don’t you teach me something?” Ed leans back, ghosts his fingers across his crotch.

“Well, you’re the expert.” Stede is fumbling, on uneven footing. “I mean, it’s right there in the name.”

Ed grins deviously, “with the electronics, yeah. But it’s been ages since I’ve done it acoustic style. And if I recall, you might be just the guy to give me a few pointers.”

Stede is undressing, slowly this time. He’s not sure exactly how this is gonna play out, but he’s definitely going to need less clothes.

The tables have turned, but the game is still the same.

“Ah, I see, if it’s for the sake of an education, I suppose I can share what I know.” He’s standing in just his underwear now.

“Awesome.” Ed scrambles across the four feet separating their beds and perches himself cross-legged at the foot of Stede’s bed.

Stede takes a breath and sits at the head of the bed opposite his friend, mirroring his position.

“So, what would you like to know?” Stede casually rubs the front of his briefs, hoping he’s coming off nonchalant.

Ed mimics him, still grinning. “I dunno, mate, why don’t you just do what you normally do and I’ll butt in if I need more info.”

“Ah, alright. Well, usually I start like this.” He’s still rubbing his right hand in broad circles at the front of his underwear. After a moment, he closes his eyes, adding a little pressure as his focus gradually shifts from performing for Ed to pleasuring himself.

He can feel himself leaking and wonders if the wet spot is visible yet. Tuning into the sounds around him, he hears Ed’s breath hitch and figures that answers his question.

He opens his eyes. Ed is closer than he was before, staring intently at Stede’s wandering hand. He feels his heart rate pick up.

“Yes, I take it you’ve noticed I’m rather wet now. That is usually a good indication that it’s time to um, lose the briefs.” Before he can second guess what he’s doing, he slips them down his legs. his impressive t-dick popping free.

Nothing his roommate hasn’t seen before.

Except he knows his cock is slick and glistening and he knows he’s blushing all the way down his chest.

There is no chance to feel insecure though, because Ed is lifting himself to remove his own damp undies.

Stede reaches back down to draw his pointer and middle finger along either side of his cock, squeezing them together and pressing firmly upwards. He needs to remind himself to breathe as he watches Ed do the same.

“It looks- it looks like you’re getting the hang of it.” Stede is slowly stroking up and down the sides of his cock and Ed is copying him, holding a rather intense amount of eye contact.

Stede’s eyes flick down to Ed’s hand just in time to see him sink one tattooed finger into his cunt.

“Nuh uh uh,” Stede tsks importantly. “That’s not quite correct.” He feels ridiculous criticizing the exquisite scene in front of him. But if Ed wants to know what it Stede feels, Ed needs to do what Stede does. That’s the game. “Why don’t you come a bit closer so you can see more clearly.”

Ed scoots closer, their legs still crossed like pretzels, their knees now touching. Stede imagines he can feel the heat of Ed’s arousal on his own cunt and the thought sends a little gush from within.

Ed leans in very close, definitely invading Stede’s personal bubble. “Ah, I think I understand now,” Ed nods, solemnly.

“Alright, then we’re going to try another technique.” Stede switches to his non-dominant hand, making that snug little V and holding the sides of his cock tightly. He takes a deep breath, and with his other hand he spreads some of his own slick up over and around, making sure there’s plenty on the pads of his fingers. “The aim here is to - erm - stimulate the cockhead, ah, rather vigorously.”

He's gasping a little as he begins to rub his right hand over the V of his left fingers, squeezing the large nub almost painfully.

“Fuck, Stede,” Ed murmurs, drawing little circles with his fingertips, his pace matching Stede’s exactly. “That feels really nice.”

“It’s important,” Stede struggles to keep his voice instructional. “It’s important to remember to use enough lubrication so as not to irritate the sensitive skin here.” He’s gasping by the end of his sentence. His hand taking on a mind of its own as he switches from small circles to a more aggressive back-and-forth motion.

“Mate, as long as I can remember this insanity, I don’t think I’m gonna have a problem with lubrication.” Stede’s heart skips a beat.

That pretty much confirms it, right? That Ed thinks of him when he does this? That those thoughts are enough to bring about a particular set of physical responses?

“Ah, well, glad to hear it.” Stede is getting close, but it doesn’t look like Ed is quite there yet. “How are you feeling?” His question rushes out of him.

“Good. I like it. I don’t think I can come from this though.” Ah, that makes sense. Ed’s poor dick has become desensitized after years of mechanically assisted stimulation.

Stede slows his hand, his body aching for release. “There is another thing we can try.” Ed quirks an eyebrow, his hand not slowing. “I noticed in addition to vibrators, you had a couple um, static options in your collection.”

It takes Ed a second. “Dildos? Dude are you talking about dildos?”

Stede nods. “Sometimes, when I feel, um, particularly insatiable,” this is when Stede begins to feel vulnerable, “I’ve found… I can…”

“Stede,” Ed’s voice is serious, but his eyes are twinkling. His hands have stilled. “You said you’ve never used toys before.”

“I’d never used a vibrator!” Stede retorts, “besides, you don’t need a dual density silicone dick with life-like veins from a bonafide sex shop to fuck yourself.” He can tell Ed is holding back laughter, but it doesn’t make him close down. If anything, it floods his heart with warmth. He wants to make him laugh. “Have you ever heard of a cucumber, Ed?!”

And laugh he does. Ed throws his head back, glorious curls almost brushing the bedspread behind him. Stede is transfixed by the sight of him, chest wide, gorgeous. Throat long and bare. He’s overwhelmed by the desire to put his mouth there. To work his way up to his mouth and kiss him as long and hard as he’d let him.

He shakes his head, claps his hands together. “So!” He gets up and goes to Ed’s bed, pulling out the box from underneath. Takes a steadying breath. He’s never done this with someone else before, never considered he might. Quickly, he finds two similar dildos at the bottom of the box, a sure indication that they haven’t seen much action lately.

He returns to his side of the room, offering one of the rubber dicks to his roommate like he’s breaking bread. “Is this okay?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Ed sounds almost breathless. Stede settles back against his pillow, arranging the additional throw pillows and shams to the side.

“I was thinking, you could join me up here,” he pats the space by his side, heart racing, “to better observe, um, angles and such?” It’s a reach and he knows it, but Ed allows it graciously. Maybe he wants to feel the warmth of Stede’s bare hip and leg pressed up against his own, as badly as he does.

As his roommate settles in beside him, Stede breathes deeply, steels himself for what he fears will be a very rapid climax.

“So, are you still..,”

“Wet? God, Stede, more than ever.”

“Okay, great!” he squeaks, “me too!”

Without a word, Stede resumes his movements from earlier. He can feel Ed’s gaze on him as he resolutely keeps his eyes straight ahead.

All too quickly, he feels his orgasm start to build. “For me,” he’s speaking too loudly but he needs to force the words out, “this would be a good time to introduce, um, the penetrative element.”

“Okay, mate, okay. Hang on.” Stede can do that, he can hang on a moment. Leaves the dildo still, halfway consumed by his body. Slows his hand to a torturous brush against his cock.

Ed is ramping up. One hand pistoning his cunt the other flying back and forth against his cock. “Errrr,” he grunts, “say it.”

Whatever is he talking about?

“Stede, I NEED you to say it!”

Oh, shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Stede’s hands copy Ed’s as he speaks, voice low.

“Edward, come for me; I want to see you come.”

Ed roars as he comes and the sound of it pushes Stede entirely over the edge.

HOLY SHIT this is my new favourite thing. if only Ed had tried that, they might've been able to figure their shit a little sooner! Thank you SO MUCH for this, I'm so deeply flattered! (also it's super fucking hot, and the cucumber line killed me)

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fanfic #fanfic of a fanfic #tts asks #t4t roommates au #roommates boys

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our-death-means-flag · 2 years ago

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{ Just A Bunch of Ideas }

You might have noticed the section I left in my master list for longer fics. I have a few ideas, here they are, let me know if any of them really catch your interest!

I’m probably gonna write all of them at some point. But you can help me pick the order! :D

BlackBonnet x Reader (possibly becomes Steadyhands x Reader), post-season 1, exploring the unhealthy sides of their relationship

Ed and reader we’re sort of together pre canon (they are very in love but they’re not really official) they end up pulling Stede into their relationship and making it official but then the end of the season still happens

Both Ed and Reader are struggling with Stede leaving them behind. Reader is handling it better than Ed (outwardly).

Of course the whole canon Kraken thing happens with Reader going along with it. They do their level best to keep everyone safe while that happens (including rescuing Lucius) but Reader is still doing just as bad as Ed.

Focuses on Reader and Ed, Ed and Izzy, Reader and Izzy and exploring how they are all kinda fucked up (Reader is kind of a mediator so the Ed and Izzy stuff is mildly better than canon but not by much). I find the unhealthy relationships in this show really compelling and I want to focus on them.

Eventually Stede comes back (possibly Izzy realizes that he Fucked Up™ and gets him) and they have to try and put everything back together.

Steadyhands x Reader, modern AU (kinda), time travel, shenanigans, Established Steadyhands, Based on a dream

Ed, Izzy and Stede are not having the greatest day. After being separated from their ship during a very strange storm, they find themselves completely lost. Luckily they stumble on a ship with a friendly stranger willing to help them out! :D Though it’s undoubtedly the weirdest ship they’ve ever seen. It’s made of some kind of strange material with no visible sails or oars and the stranger manning it is all alone. Said stranger is just as bizarre, dressed in strange clothes and not making any sense. Why would they want a “phone” to “call someone”? What’s a “phone”? What’s a “GPS”?

Meanwhile, Modern!Reader is incredibly confused when a trio of strangely dressed men in a tiny dinghy show up in the middle of the ocean. You have no idea how they got out here or what to do. Especially since they seem so baffled by regular topics. Did they get hurt somehow? A concussion? What year is it? Wait what?!?

Basically just modern!reader showing our boys some cool things in the present while you try to find a way to get them back home.

Steadyhands & adopted child!reader; this fandom needs more platonic/parental fics. Established Steadyhands

Reader, desperate to escape a terrible situation, stows away on the Revenge. You manage to stay hidden for a few days but then Stede finds you. You’re more than ready to fight to defend yourself or offer to work non-stop to be allowed to stay. Instead you’re invited into the captains’ cabin for a nice meal.

You’re stunned by the kindness of the crew and (despite your best efforts) end up getting very attached to them all, especially the strange captains and the protective first mate who all but adopt you.

Unfortunately, running from the past is a tricky thing, both for you and your new parents…

Izzy x Reader to Steadyhands x Reader; you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, jealousy

Stede and Ed are happily in love and Izzy is having a bad time. The Revenge gets damaged during a raid and they have to stop for repairs. Stede declares an impromptu vacation and Izzy is basically forced to come along.

Then he runs into Reader, an old friend who he hasn’t seen in ages (and who Ed doesn’t know). You two immediately reconnect and spend the entire time together first as friends then as lovers.

Initially Ed is glad that Izzy isn’t just sulking, but the longer he watches the two of you spend time together, laugh together (when was the last time he saw Izzy laugh?), dance, spar, and sing (you somehow managed to convince izzy to sing with you), the more jealous he becomes.

Eventually they have to leave and Ed is kind of glad to leave you behind. But you offer to tag along with them. Stede accepts, glad that Izzy’s been less trouble with you around.

Ed tries to figure out how to deal with his jealousy (and his weird feelings for you on top of that). Stede tries to ignore how much he likes this side of Izzy and also you. Izzy tries to let himself have nice things and wrestles with feeling like he’s betraying Ed for being around you and how much less annoying bonnet is when he's not laser focused on Ed. And reader tries to figure out what the fuck is going on with these three charming handsome idiots.

#concepts #fic concepts #our flag means death x reader #our flag means death #steddyhands x reader #steddyhands #steddy hands x reader #edward teach x reader #ofmd x reader #izzy hands x reader #ofmd #israel hands x reader #stede bonnet x reader #platonic ofmd x reader #blackbeard x reader

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softsnzstuff · 2 years ago

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I always love the flavor: person is sick on a holiday/birthday/anniversary!

Yes!! Here’s a little OFMD ficlet!!

wrote a little something where Izzy is sick on his birthday but is annoyed af that people keep putting attention on him

*****

Izzy sniffled against his gloved fist, grumbling to himself. He felt like absolute shit, but he’d be the last to admit it. As he stepped out onto the deck, Buttons started singing.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birth-”

“Shut up!” Izzy shouted, “What the fuck are you fucking singing for? Get back to work!”

“We just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” Black Pete started, “But you seem angry so. I guess just have a birthday?”

“Who told you it’s my fucking birthday??”

“Blackbeard did. Told all of us actually.”

Izzy heaved a sigh, fucking of course Ed would make a big deal about something that wasn’t a big deal. Before he could complain anymore, he pitched to the side.

“H’RUSHEW!! G’ISSHUH!!”

“Um bless you?” Black Pete wasn’t sure how to respond without laughing.

“Are you sick on your birthday Izzy?” Frenchie asked loudly.

“M’not fucki’g sick you idiots!!!”

Frenchie raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? I just thought because you was just sneezing and that.”

“And you look even more frumpy than usual.” Lucius chimed in, backing down immediately after catching a death glare from Izzy.

“Do any of you ever shut the fuck up????? II’GSHUU!”

“God bless you, Izzy!” Stede claps a hand on his shoulder.

The older man slaps the hand away.

“Hey Izzy, behave! Stede’s just being polite. Don’t be a dick just because you’re sick.” Ed isn’t far behind Stede.

“I’m not sick!”

“Izzy. Come on mate.” Ed elbows him knowingly.

He blushes crimson, glaring at the ground, infuriated with the amount of eyes on him.

“Not to worry Iz, I’ll ask Roach to make you a calming tea to go with your citrus cake!”

“Stede!”

The blonde palms his own forehead, “Oh! I’m a fool. I’ve spoiled your birthday surprise.”

“SO IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!” Olu pointed, shouting.

“No point in hiding it now. Go lay down, Iz. We’ll get you when cake and tea is ready.” Ed instructed, more as a friendly suggestion, but with the sternness of a captain.

Izzy grumbled. He’d just have to suffer through this so everyone would leave him the fuck alone.

#still getting used to characterization #thanks for sticking it out with me!!#I/zzy H/ands #of/md #s/tede b/onnet #e/dward t/each #snzblr #snz kink #sickfic #ask box

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quillyfied · 1 year ago

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Okay next batch of episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART TWO:

- “that’s six inches of silver in your scapula” MADAM.

- They’re doing an amazing job of showing Izzy in a pure pathetic state. I still have a lot of conflicted emotions about him but his increased confidence and ease around the ship BECAUSE the crew is taking time to be kind to him is…it’s. I don’t. GOLD UNICORN LEG OKAY. THE CARE THEY ARE SHOWING HIM AND HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT AND HE KNOWS IT AND HE BELIEVES IT BUT IT IS CHANGING HIM FOR THE BETTER ANYWAY.

- once again my expectations are being undercut. Of course Buttons isn’t the rabbit. Silly of me to think that. Of course he isn’t going to screw up turning into a seagull. He’s Buttons.

- …he’s coming back, though, right?? Guys Buttons is coming back at some point, right????

- Hang on have to go giggle about Izzy dragging himself across the floor mumbling existential horrors and shouting at the unicorn and then barking at people knocking on his door.

- Also have to giggle about the two halves of the crew coming at each other trying to help in two different ways and talking it through on their own, without Stede’s direct interference. I’m so proud of them.

- Wee John might just be slowly transforming into a mermaid. And I want his sweater.

- Ed referring to himself and the rabbit as lone wolves but immediately imprinting on the thing—and it not leaving him, either.

- HES SCARED OF SPIDERS

- How instantly Ed is glad to see Mary and Anne though. And the secret handshake with Anne. I cry.

- I also cry over how Anne instantly smells blood in the water with Stede before even knowing his connection to Ed.

- Like I guess Buttons not coming back makes sense bc he gave the most profound advice of the entire show and then flew off as a seagull, thereby completing his life’s dream, but have they considered the fact that I will miss him.

- (And so will the crew)

- I love that Ed and Stede finally have it out and get to a point where they can start to heal. I also find it so interesting to see the difference in what the fandom thought would be important to bring up, and what the show itself seems important to bring up. Stede could have blamed Badminton for his cowardice, but he doesn’t; he owns it and makes a greater stride towards mending things with Ed and being better himself. Ed could have mentioned what Izzy said to him, but instead he’s starting to work at the greater issue of his own self-loathing and how that drove him to harming the crew. It’s entirely possible that those details will come up later, but. I think Izzy has a point when he says it’s better to patch things with fiction (or silence) than never moving on. And maybe the hashing out of this stuff belongs to fanfic, not to canon. Because the events themselves don’t matter so much to canon as does what those events represented and THAT is what is getting fixed and addressed.

- Mary Read’s whole thing about “this is what an adult relationship looks like.” I have so many conflicted personal feelings about it. The summary: never been in a romantic relationship before and now at an age where I’ve witnessed plenty but I’m terrified of how I’ll be if and when that ever happens for me, bc the only experiences I’ve got is watching others and fiction. And I just was listening to both my mom and sister in law talking about how so many women my sil’s age have gotten divorced bc their expectations for what a marriage is were unrealistic, how marriage is more like a business transaction. And I was too scared to ask for clarification at the time. And I really do wonder if Mary has a point, yknow. When the mystery fades and the magic is gone…what’s left? Bc fiction tells us one thing. Real life often tells another. Dying alone doesn’t sound fun but it sounds better than accidentally ruining my and/or someone else’s life based on a false hope, yknow?

- Anyway that’s way too personal time to move on

- TO ANNE SETTING THEIR STIFLING LIFE ABLAZE AND REALLY REKINDLING THAT ROMANCE WITH MARY. HELL YEAH LADIES GET IT.

- I know it’s never gonna be addressed but please can the satanic ship be addressed at some point, even as a throwaway line

- (Also patiently awaiting the literal translation of what the dying priest was saying)

- PUT STEDE BACK IN FINE FABRICS 1717

- The absolute ball you know they were all having with this episode. Rhys Darby your FACE when screaming at Izzy after he reiterates that it’s cursed.

- Just the sheer hope in Ed’s face as he witnesses Buttons(?) fly away, as he submits to the jumpsuit and cat bell, the enthusiasm with which he jumps in to go fishing with Fang. The man is going through it but I love seeing him so earnest

- LUCIUS THO. SO MANY THOUGHTS. First and foremost I want his outfit this season, forget Stede’s cursed suit for a minute let’s talk about how Lucius is SERVING this season (and why it’s making me more hopeful for ABBA on the soundtrack at some point)

- How Pete gets through to him by pointing out that HE LIVED BITCH. TALK ABOUT A PERSPECTIVE CHANGE. Also the various blackbeard doodles I’m dying

- Izzy turning the tables on Lucius. I love a good parallel.

- Pete tho. Marry the F out of that man, Lu, he’s a keeper.

- “Loner artsy types” EXPLAIN CALICO JACK TO ME

- AND ALSO I NEED NAMES AND DESCRIPTIONS OF THESE OTHER ARTSY LONER TYPES

- Fang is such a wonderful character and we are so blessed to have him. I was a little wary that Fang was going to try and off (or offload) Ed just to make the crew feel better, but what we got was so much softer and better. Teaching Ed in such a gentle and honest way to examine himself! To sit with himself and learn to value the company! Telling Ed that he’s been crossing boundaries for a long time and giving Ed space to apologize and process! HIS NAME IS KEVIN AND IT’S A FOUR HUNDRED YEAR OLD TRADITION.

- Listen. Listen. Listen. Shirtless Con O’Niell is. A gift. That shirtlessness belonging to the character of Izzy is a little more of a conflict for me but given that Izzy has entered his “little shit and owning it” phase, I’m inclined to enjoy it.

- Also the SHEER BALLS on Stede Bonnet to manipulate Izzy into teaching him some piracy bits. That little stutter when Izzy tries to act unaffected but still asks what Blackbeard said about him. I’m just. Omg.

- And the way Stede sucks at the practicality but he excels at the instinctive/emotional bits. How he’s so creative and genuine and absolutely won his crew’s respect and loyalty and continues to prove that he’s worth it. I ADORE Stede Bonnet.

- Okay I gotta I gotta I gotta: KISS NUMBER TWOOOOOOO. I’ve only kissed one person in my time so far but I remember the moment after that initial dam break, when it occurred to me that I was allowed to kiss this person again; something about the casual way Ed and Stede both lean in just feels the same way to me. Like this is their new normal and they like it. And ADORE Ed setting a boundary and Stede immediately respecting it. AND. THE FINGERS. THE PLAYING. Comparing their games to what Anne and Mary get up to, it does make me hopeful that a mature relationship can be comfortable and playful and sweet and not just a grind or a business transaction. Idk man.

- Now I fully forgot that the episodes have post credits scenes so my reactions to them are not included here but I’ll be rewatching all five episodes later tonight so maybe a separate little baby post about them later.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #here we go much more timely #mainly bc I want to get these out BEFORE I do a rewatch #so it’s just initial thoughts and memories #more in depth posts will come later I think

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tinytinybumblebee · 2 years ago

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Stede is reallyyyyy good at multitasking. He can get Ed juice while bouncing Izzy who’s about to fall asleep, he can tell a story while changing a diaper, he can clean the kitchen while listening to basically a toddler podcast about whatever Ed is really into at that moment, he can bring Ed to the potty while Izzy’s gnawing on everything and whining for a pacifier, he can simultaneously do two bedtime routines so they’re laying down at the same time (but Ed gets time to watch a movie or a couple of episodes of his show while he has a bottle so Stede isn’t totally off the clock) but every time someone offers to take them for a few hours or asks if they can have a play date, Stede is like “yes please :)” because sometimes it’s just nice to do the groceries without someone (Ed) asking for everything or have a bath without two monitors propped up on the counter. He doesn’t even mind if it means them coming back on the wrong side of a sugar rush or a little bit teary from how tired they are because he’s refreshed enough to jump right back into Mama’ing.

!!!! Yess aaaaa

Stede has become quite the multi tasking Mama, especially when he's got a rambunctious tyke and clingy babie!

But, every carer needs some refreshing time ;w;

Oluwande probably brings Izzy and Ed with him and Jim to the zoo (which, had been the number 1 topic on his babble podcast that morning!) for the day and that leaves Stede home alone for a couple hours.

At first Stede is like, a bit lost without the two tiny ones acting as his shadows. But, it was rather nice to fold some laundry without random socks suddenly going missing, get some extra work written up, or to catch up on one of his soap operas (Stede strikes me as a Days of Our Lives and Bold & Beautiful fan) without pausing 200 times xD

But, when the doorbell rings in the late afternoon and the two come back- Izzy grumpy because he missed his regular nap and Ed wanting to tell Stede everythiiing they did at the zoo, but also crying because he didn't realize how much he missed Mama until he's seen him again!

Stede smiles warmly, thanking Oluwande and saying bye-bye to Jim (who has probably taken the new persona of a panther because that's the plush they got from the gift shop)

And, he's holding his two boys close, kissing them and cooing over them- refreshed and ready to balance his two precious boys aaaa ;u; 💖💖💖

Ed and Izzy 100% got Stede a gift! Probably one of those cool butterfly magnets or a whacky fact book on zoo animals ♡

#agere #age regression #sfw #fandom agere #mailbox #ofmd #stede bonnet

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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago

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The Art of (Smashing) Crockery Chapter 27: 5150

Click here for CWs/Full Chapter List

Stede Bonnet is having an out of body experience.

He sits in the Emergency Room, head resting on Ed’s shoulder, knowing that he feels tired and a bit sad, but not much else. And he can’t do anything about anything. He doesn’t know if he doesn’t want to, or just can’t. He gets the sense that Earth is still turning, but his soul is at a standstill.

Ed hands Stede his own phone so he can unlock it and text Mary. Tell everyone he’s okay. But Stede just stares at the phone for a while. He can see it. He knows he’s supposed to do something with it. But the connection from his brain to his fingers to the phone back to his brain is broken.

Ed finally places Stede’s finger against the fingerprint sensor and unlocks it so he can text Mary. Soon Ed has become Stede, Stede’s entire social life, telling his wife and his crew and whoever seems to care even a little what Stede cannot. That he’s okay, he’s alive.

Stede doesn’t really believe that he is.

Mary arrives, and he just stares ahead as she gives him the scolding of his lifetime, or pulls him into a hug, or rubs his shoulder. He’s an empty vessel that is simultaneously too full for input.

Stede had begun to reclassify all of the people in his life in his mind, so it wouldn’t hurt. So he could leave. Mary is Doug’s wife, Alma and Louis are their children. Ed is someone else’s friend.

But they’re still here? With him?

He’s called back to see the doctor. Stede gets up to follow the nurse, and sees that Mary is coming with him. He turns back to look at Ed. He has a question that he doesn’t know how to ask.

“Not going anywhere, mate, I promise.”

Stede nods, and imagines himself smiling back, and isn’t sure if he actually does. He follows the nurse. It’s easy to follow directions. It’s easy to surrender control of his life to people who know better how to care for it.

---

When Mary returns to the waiting room hours later, it’s alone.

This wasn’t how she’d pictured losing her husband. She’d wanted her marriage to end. She hadn’t expected Stede to want everything to end.

His friend (boyfriend?) is still in the same spot. He’s on the phone with someone. He spots her and waves her over.

“Hang on, she’s come back out, I need to know what’s going on. Call you back?” He tucks the phone in his back pocket and looks up at her.

“He okay?”

“Uh, no?” Ed’s eyes widen. “I mean, he’s a total mess, I don’t know what happened! We were texting and everything right up until this morning.” She sits down. “I think they’re going to keep him.”

“How long?”

“The full 72 hours, probably. After that, they have to find a place for him in a specialized hospital.”

“But he’s going to be ok?”

Mary shrugs. How is she supposed to know? “The doctor said it isn’t the worst he’s seen, and he came willingly and seems to want to get help, so I think he has a good chance.” She sighs. “I don’t know what to tell the kids.”

“I have a friend who helps people through this kind of thing for a living, he is a bit of an asshole but I can probably guilt him into giving you some advice.”

Mary sits down and sighs. She feels pangs of guilt coming from all directions. Why didn’t he tell me he was struggling? How could he do this to this family? Why didn’t I insist on helping him sooner? Who the fuck is this Ed guy? If I hadn’t been with Doug, could I have stopped this? What kind of asshole doesn't even try to say goodbye?

“We’re gonna need so much family therapy,” she sighs.

“Hey, therapy is awesome. Everyone should go to therapy.”

Mary smiles and holds out her hand. “We weren’t formally introduced. I’m Mary, Stede’s soon-to-be-ex-wife.”

Ed shakes it. “I’m Ed, the owner of Stede’s favorite rage room.”

“What is a rage room?”

“Oh, it’s a business where you destroy lots of objects, glasses, appliances, that sort of thing. To get it out of your system.”

“And… that works?”

“Clearly it fuckin’ doesn’t,” Ed mutters.

Mary laughs. “I’m sure this isn’t your fault, Ed.”

“Well, in case you change your mind and decide to sue, don’t bother, I’m shutting it down soon anyway.”

“Why? Because of Stede?”

“No. I mean, that’s part of it. But I’m just bored with it. I want to do something new. Stede was going through some big life changes and I thought… we could both make some big changes. Together maybe.” Ed still doesn’t meet her eye.

“Are you Stede’s boyfriend, Ed?”

“No.”

“Do you want to be Stede’s boyfriend?”

Ed blushes, just a little. “I mean… I guess we’ll see. When he’s better.”

Mary smiles at him. “Well… I hope he’s smart enough to agree. It would be good to have someone like you in his life.”

“He has me no matter what.”

Eventually Ed gets back on the phone, and Mary pretends to read a magazine so it doesn’t seem like she’s eavesdropping.

“Don’t hold out on me, Iz. You know the best, I want the best. The best fuckin’ facility you can get a bed in. 72 hours. I promise you, he can afford it. Who do you think dropped a 20 grand donation on Los Robles the other week? The fuckin’ tooth fairy? Stede fuckin’ Bonnet, that’s who.”

“He did what?” Mary mutters to herself. What the fuck has Stede been spending money on?

“No, I don’t know if he’d be into art therapy. A-animals? Animal therapy? What’s that, just having, like, a dog?” Ed looks over at Mary. “Does Stede want a dog?”

“Don’t get Stede a dog, Ed.”

“Izzy says he doesn’t have to get a dog, they have horses.”

“I don’t think Stede should be buying a horse, either.”

“Iz, does Stede get to keep the horse? No? He doesn’t get to keep the horse. Moot point.” Mary nods. “Ok on temporary horses, ok on art. Look, do you want to just talk to his wife? She probably knows more about him than I do…”

Mary shakes her head. “I really, really don’t.”

“What about water therapy? I know it’s for physical shit, Iz, I meant for me. My knee got fucked up at Jack’s. And don’t- listen, I don’t need a lecture from you. Get Stede a bed and me someplace to unfuck my knee and I’ll pay your fuckin’ rent for a year. Oh, and I need someone to get my bike. It’s at Pigeon Point. Yes, I know how far that is, dickfuck, I was just there.”

The conversation continues, and Mary sits back with a newfound sense of hope. With friends like these, Stede will be fine.

---

Stede Bonnet,

This is an apology. I handled things the wrong way. I interfered when I shouldn’t have. Said some things that aren’t true. I got you a bed at St. Anne’s Behavioral. Get better so I can do this in person. Jim, Wande, Buttons et al say hi.

~Izzy Hands

PS: You break Ed again, you buy him. I mean it.

Stede holds the card in his hands. It had arrived attached to a bouquet of flowers. Blue hyacinths, white orchids, sunflowers. Apology flowers. Pretty.

Nobody who has truly wounded Stede has ever apologized to him before, not sincerely.

It feels… hopeful?

There’s hope. There’s help.

There are so many flowers around Stede right now from all his friends. He accepts it now, that they are truly friends. They didn’t have to care about him, they could have let him drop off the face of the earth. But they didn’t. They had kept trying.

Stede realizes that he needed that. He needed people in his life who thought he was worth trying for.

And if he’s worth trying for, isn’t it worth trying for them? Isn’t it worth making an effort? You only get one life.

Maybe Stede’s life is worth fighting for, just for a bit longer.

---

It’s been 48 hours, and Ed doesn’t even pretend there’s anywhere else he’d rather be. If Stede can have visitors, Ed will be there. He arrives with a bouquet of sunflowers. He’d already sent flowers ahead the day before, but he was worried that there wouldn’t be enough, that Stede would be sitting in an empty, colorless hospital room.

He needn’t have worried. The fucking things are everywhere when he arrives.

“Ed,” Stede says softly as Ed enters and admires the garden.

“Stede,” Ed replies, “Jesus, how many are there?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really counted.” Stede looks around. “They are lovely though, aren’t they?”

“Fuck yeah. Never seen so many.”

“How are you doing, Ed? Has it been difficult for you?”

Ed places his bouquet on the floor and sits down. “Fuck, Stede, I’m fine, it’s you I’m worried about. Talk to me, how are you feeling.”

Stede twists his mouth to the side, thinking. “I think… I’m better, maybe? I don’t feel much, good or bad. I’m just sort of… existing.”

“They got you on anything?”

Stede nods. “Oh. yeah. I don’t know what the meds are called. But they won’t kick in for a while. Just have to wait, you know?”

“And you’re… okay with that?”

Stede looks at him and smiles, just a little. “Yeah. I’ve waited this long to be happy. What’s a few more months, right?”

“That’s the spirit.” Ed fistbumps Stede’s shoulder.

In return, Stede squeezes Ed’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Ed. For putting yo- everyone through this. There was a better way.”

“You weren’t thinking clearly. It’s okay.”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever thought clearly. But… some things are more clear to me than ever. If that makes sense.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know… why I am the way I am, for starters.”

“You mean… gay?”

“I mean everything. But that, too.” Stede looks Ed in the eyes and takes a deep breath. “Listen, Ed…”

“You don’t have to say something just to make me feel good, Stede.”

“I’m not. Just… do you still feel? Some kind of way, about me?”

Ed doesn’t know which answer Stede wants to hear, which one will do damage, so he goes with the truth. “Yeah, man. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. But I’ve loved… I’ve had a crush on you for a while now. I’m sorry for springing it on you when I did. It was wrong.”

Stede nods. “It was the wrong time… but not the wrong feeling? If that makes sense?”

Something warm leaps in Ed’s heart.

“I mean… I might have felt the same way, and maybe still do? You felt like…” Stede thinks about it for a second. “Like, family? Safe? Like a warm blanket? Like I could be who I am around you? And it felt good.”

“Felt good?”

“I think it still does, feel good. Except I can’t feel much right now. Everything is dull.” Stede looks down and plays with the edge of his hospital gown. “But I want to feel that again. For you. I hope I do. I want that for you. And for me.”

“Stede, it’s no pressure. You’ve had too much happen in your life and you need to get better. Then we can talk about those feelings more.”

Stede nods and looks back at him. “Ed, I’d like… a have a few favors to ask of you.”

“Anything, man, name it.”

“Will you… wait for me? To get out of the hospital?”

“Of course, Stede, it won’t be that long.”

“They said it could be a month or two. We haven’t known each other that long…”

Ed grabs Stede’s hand.

“Stede, nothing I feel for you has changed or will change. I care about you now when you’re like this, right? I want to get to know you when you’re happy.”

Stede’s face almost cracks into a smile at that, as deadened as his emotions are.

“Thank you. Also…” Stede looks around at the flowers. “Could you take care of my plants? I don’t think most of them will last, but that monstera deliciosa should be okay.”

“I’ve got a couple of my own, mate, it’ll look even better by the time I’m through with it.”

“Thanks.” Stede squeezes Ed’s hand. “There’s… one more thing.”

“Name it.”

“I don’t have my phone right now so I had Mary print out the information. It’s in a folder in that drawer over there.”

Ed pulls out the folder and opens it. He smiles.

“Can you look after it for me, Ed? There’s no one else I’d trust with it.”

Ed chuckles. “Yeah, mate. It would be an honor.”

Chapter 28

#ofmd modern au #modern alternate universe #ellie modern au #cross posted on ao3 #ofmd fanfic #our flag means death fanfic #ellie aosc #stede x ed #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

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