#Slytherin skittles incorrect quotes
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percyweasleyapologist · 2 days ago
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Evan, at Barty's funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Evan, leaning over Barty′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Barty: Yeah, no shit.
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moonyswarmsweaters · 5 months ago
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Barty: James’ eyes are Brown, right? Regulus: They are, but a hazelnut brown. And they get these golden shades when the light hits them just right.
Evan: And when was the last time he smiled?
Regulus: Last night at about 1:57 am, when I said something that made him laugh.
Barty: Right. And when's my birthday?
[Regulus doesn’t answer]
Barty: When's my birthday, Regulus?
Stole it from here
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whydousernamesevenexist · 6 months ago
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James: Aww, Reg, so romantic with all those candles!
Regulus: first of all, I'm summoning a demon-
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marauding-almond · 4 months ago
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things me and my friends have said as the marauders (part 3):
Regulus: why are you writing ‘cum’ in bubble letters on the blackboard …?
Barty: How dare you, I’m actually drawing worms that spell out cum
Regulus: That’s supposed to make it better???
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z0mbieb0ys-incorrectquotes · 10 months ago
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Evan: Go fuck yourself.  Barty, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
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sylviaplathenthusiast · 9 months ago
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barty: i hate you<3
evan: i got a heart out of it tho
barty: i can hate you and still fully intend to rip my heart out of my chest and put it in a glass bell jar for you
barty: dont tell me what to do
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sonatadash · 1 year ago
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Regulus: Hey, Barty, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? Barty: Yeah. Regulus: And you, Evan? Evan: Umm... yes? Regulus: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! Evan: Did he just-
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loz-tearsofahomo · 2 years ago
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Barty: I missed you
Regulus: ... Okay
Barty: You never say it back! Guys [literally Evan is the only other person in the room apart from Snape in the corner] this is not a fucking bit Reg is very bad with like- emotions.
Barty: I'd be like yo I miss you, and you'd be like,,, cool and roll your eyes.
Barty: That's like- that's what you would do.
Barty: You'll never be like Yeah i fucking missed you too
Regulus: I didn't though
Barty: Im not with you all the time!
Regulus: So the second I leave I should miss you already??
Barty: Yes.
Regulus: Merlin's beard-
Barty: The second I leave Evan and like, my mom, I miss them. I miss them, I can't wait to see them again.
Regulus: So your wife, and your mom.
Barty: Yeah.
Regulus: But us?
Barty: I CONSIDER YOU PART OF THE FAMILY
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florsial · 1 year ago
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Slytherin Skittles (aka Hogwarts' Pantheon) Incorrect quotes!
(+others)
. . . . .
Evan: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Barty will and will not eat. Pandora: Grass? Yes! Evan: Moss? Yes!! Pandora: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Evan: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Pandora: Worms? Sometimes! Evan: Rocks? Usually nah. Pandora: Twigs? Usually! Evan: Dorcas's cooking? Inconclusive! Regulus: How did you… test this? Evan: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Regulus: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Dorcas: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
. . . .
Regulus: Where's Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora?
Barty: They're playing hide and seek. Regulus: Where? Barty: I don't think you get how this game works.
. . . .
Pandora: Regulus's first detention, I'm so proud. Evan: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention? Dorcas: Because they're an idiot. Barty, terrified: They can do that??
. . . .
Regulus: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Evan and Barty: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
. . . .
Regulus: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Dorcas: 'Prettiest Smile' Pandora: 'Nicest Personality' Barty: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Evan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
. . . .
Regulus: You're a lying piece of shit! Barty: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Evan: I'm leaving and I'm taking Pandora with me! Dorcas, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
. . . .
Pandora: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Dorcas: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Barty: Three of us saw it, Dorcas. How do you explain that? Dorcas: *points at Evan* Sleep deprivation. *points at Regulus* Paranoia. *points at Barty* Delusional personality disorder.
. . . .
Pandora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Dorcas: Several traffic violations. Evan: Three counts of resisting arrest. Barty: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Regulus: Also, that’s not our car.
. . . .
Barty: How do you connect with a fictional character? Evan: What? Dorcas: What? Pandora: What? Regulus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
. . . .
Regulus: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Pandora: I really care about your feelings! Lily: I really care about YOUR feelings! Regulus, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Barty: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Evan: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!
. . . .
James: What did you get Regulus for their birthday? Pandora: I got them a kitten. Barty: Really? Me too! Dorcas: I also got them a cat. Evan: Looks like we had the same idea. Pandora: James, please tell me you didn't get Regulus a cat as well! James: ...I got them a kitten. *later* Regulus, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!
. . . .
Pandora: What do rainbows mean to you? Barty: Gay rights. Dorcas: There's money. Evan: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Regulus: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.
. . . .
Regulus: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Barty: This knife is actually a magic wand. Evan: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel. Pandora: * cocks gun* Magic missile. Dorcas: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
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savagesyeah · 8 months ago
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Things my friends and I said that sounded like the slytherin skittles
Evan: you are in an enemies to lovers romance
Regulus: no, I'm not
Dorcas: how did the two of you met?
Regulus: I saw a picture of him and found him annoying
Dorcas: it's an enemies to lovers
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percyweasleyapologist · 1 day ago
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Barty: I just ended a five year relationship.
Pandora: Oh no, are you okay?
Barty: It's okay, it wasn't mine.
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moonyswarmsweaters · 4 months ago
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Regulus: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Barty: Yes
Regulus: I was hula-hooping. James and I attend a class for fitness and for fun
Barty: Oh my god
Regulus: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle
Barty: Why are you telling me all this?
Regulus: Because no one will ever believe you
Barty: You sick son of a bitch.
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whydousernamesevenexist · 7 months ago
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Evan: when I said "bring me something from the beach", I meant like a seashell or something!
Barty: *struggling to hold a seagull* well fucking say that then!
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marauding-almond · 3 months ago
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Things me and my friends have said as the Marauders (Part 7? I think?)
Barty: I saw him - in a vision
Evan: what did he look like?
Barty: Like... the shadow of a giraffe... but not the shape, the vibe, and... green. Acid green, but all swirly and blurry at the edges
Barty: And then he spoke - but not in in words, in sounds, like cats fighting.
Even: what did he say?
Barty: spread the word... the birds are evil. Eradicate them... spread the word
Regulus: Are you high
Regulus: Barty. Are you high?
Barty: Nah I only had like four joints
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z0mbieb0ys-incorrectquotes · 11 months ago
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Evan: I trust Barty.
Regulus: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Evan: I wouldn't go that far.
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sylviaplathenthusiast · 8 months ago
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evan: Stop asking if things can get worse. I'm tired of being jinxed.
regulus: It's not a jinx. The universe just hates me personally.
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