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cinnamontoastcrunch-15 · 2 years ago

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Mothers of the Moon

Chapter 8 - Euphoria

Masterpost

This is very, very wolfstar centric but can you really blame me?

It’s the teenage awkwardness it’s so funny to me lmao

Short chapter today :)

“What do I do if someone keeps sending me… mixed signals?” Remus asked Poppy, the two of them sat in her office at the hospital wing.

“If?” She asked back, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, uh… I like this guy, and he- I don’t know, every time I start to think he might feel the same, he just pulls away again.”

She knew full well he was talking about Sirius, even if he was keeping it a secret. Still, she respected his wishes and played dumb.

“Are you sure he’s pulling away?”

“…yeah. There was one time when he- well, we had a conversation, and then I looked down and he had grabbed my hand, and I was so sure that- still, the door opened and he moved away and… I think he’s been avoiding me since.”

That was new.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’d just rather know if he doesn’t feel the same way, instead of all of this, y’know?”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” She asked.

“No!” He answered quickly. “No, uh… we’re… close friends. I don’t want to risk screwing everything up.”

“If you’re really friends, he won’t let anything get in the way of your friendship if you tell him.” Remus was silent for a few moments, playing with his hands, eyes fixed on the table.

“It’s Sirius.” He confessed quietly, Poppy biting back a small, knowing smile. “D’you really think I should tell him?”

“Remus, dear, I have a feeling Sirius fell for you a while ago.”

“You do?” The hope in his voice was enough to make Poppy stop holding back her smile, looking at Remus with a small, reassuring nod. She went to speak, when there was a knock at the office door.

“Come in!” She called, Remus turning to face the door that creaked open gently. James smiled at the two of them.

“Hey, sorry. Moony, charms starts in a few minutes.”

“Oh, right, yeah. Bye mum.” Remus said hurriedly, grabbing his bag and leaving with a wave.

It was decided, Remus was going to talk to him.

He was finally going to do it. Open his heart, risk getting rejected, and just…

Right after he tried talking to James.

Alright, he was a little scared to talk to Sirius, but who could blame him?

They had been set an essay in transfiguration, and as they worked at a comfortable noise level, Remus turned to James.

“Prongs?”

“Mhm?”

“Is Sirius… I don’t know, angry at me, or something?” He asked, hushed. James’ head snapped up then, eyes meeting Remus’, before turning to Sirius, a few seats across.

“How come?” James turned back to his essay, Remus trying to ignore his own nerves.

“He’s just been… avoiding me, lately.” Remus answered back. “Only the past few days. He tells you an obscene amount about his life, did I do something?” James shrugged, eyes flicking over to Sirius.

“You’ll have to ask him, mate. It’s not really my place to say anything.” Remus nodded, a little dejected, turning back to his work. “Unless you want my opinion, because I’m not actually telling you anything then.”

“I- yeah, sure, okay.”

“I’d say there’s a 0% chance he’s mad at you.” James answered plainly, shooting Remus a very specific glance. Remus frowned, confused.

“Alright, good. Then what’s going on with him?”

“Moony, I love you and all, but I’m begging you to talk to Sirius about this. Begging.”

“Oh, uh… alright?” He tried to turn back to his work, but if anything, James had confused him more. “I-“

“I will drag Pete out of the dorm just so you two can talk this evening.” James sounded a little desperate at this point, dropping his quill. “Just put an end to all of this, please.”

Evening.

Okay, so he had a few hours to prepare himself.

Also known as a few hours for his anxiety to heighten. A lot.

Still, there was no escape from it that evening, when James said he was going to the kitchens, dragging poor Peter out with him. James looked like he was going to combust if Remus didn’t follow through, so he was stuck. Stuck forcing himself to take a deep breath and walk to Sirius’ bed, who was sat flicking through a Quidditch book.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Sirius jumped slightly, but still shut the book and shoved it aside.

“Sure.” Remus sat on the bed in front of Sirius, watching him for a few moments.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Sirius’ eyes widened.

“What? I- I haven’t been…”

“Sirius, don’t lie to me, please.” He didn’t realise that there was an element of pleading in his voice until he spoke, slightly surprised at how much he had missed talking to Sirius the way they had been. “The only time you’ve been talking to me is if we’re in a group, Padfoot. Have I- I don’t know, have I upset you?”

“No! No, of course you haven’t!” Sirius rushed to reassure Remus, but honestly? It didn’t change anything.

“Then what’s going on?” Sirius looked at him rather sadly, then, taking Remus off guard, but he kept pushing anyway, just wanting it to be over and done with. “It started after that- that conversation about my birth parents.” He added quietly. “And I know you wouldn’t judge me for that, so I- was it about you grabbing my hand? Were you worried about, I don’t know, giving me the wrong idea, or something? Because yeah, I’d started to wonder if that meant what I thought it meant, but if you’re that adamant that you don’t feel that way about me, just tell me, alright?”

“Feel…?” Sirius prompted, making Remus wonder how the hell he had fallen so hard for someone so oblivious.

“Listen, if I’m crazy for noticing anything, just tell me, but… recently, I thought that we- that something might have been happening, between us. That maybe you- you felt the same way, that you liked me… romantically. I can see now that was stupid, and we can just forget this conversation ever happened-“ Remus had started to get up and off the bed when Sirius practically launched himself across the space between them, falling over himself in an attempt to stop Remus from leaving.

It was so fucking endearing.

“Wait!” Remus turned, Sirius looking completely and utterly shocked. “Did you mean that?”

“Forgetting we had this conversation? I mean, yeah, if you want-“

“No, not that. That you like me. Romantically.”

“Oh.” Remus’ heart was thudding in his chest, every hair standing on edge. “…yeah. I thought it was kind of obvious, at this point. I’d just figured that you didn’t want to talk about it, so I dropped it.”

“I definitely didn’t know!” Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head. “Half the school see me falling over my feet for you! I thought you knew and didn’t feel the same way! I was just trying to make it easier for you!” Remus’ head was spinning. That was a lot of information to take in.

“So you- are you saying that you…?” Sirius finally seemed to take a pause, a genuine breath, deflating slightly as he scrubbed his hands over his face.

“This is… not how I wanted to do it.” He said with a groan. “I just kept panicking and not telling you! Remus, I- of course I like you. How couldn’t I? I mean, if you- if you want, we could go to Hogsmeade on Saturday? On a date? Just us? Well, I mean, obviously just us if it’s a date, I wouldn’t want to invite someone else on our date. If you actually want to go on a date, anyway.” Sirius was a stuttering, blushing mess.

Remus loved him so fucking much.

He was honestly surprised at how together he appeared on the outside when every inch of him was screaming to grab Sirius by the jacket and snog him senseless.

So, he did.

Well, it could hardly be called a snog. He just grabbed Sirius’ leather jacket, pulled him in and kissed him. A wave of uncontrollable euphoria washed over him gently, unable to hold back a smile against Sirius’ lips. After a moment, he pulled away and smiled at Sirius, a little breathless.

“I’d love to go to Hogsmeade.” He answered quietly, lips inches from Sirius’.

“Finally!” James’ voice rang out, the two of them turning to see him and Peter stood in the doorway, watching with amused smiles.

“Honestly, I thought you two would never stop dancing around your feelings.” Peter added, dropping down onto his bed, relieved.

Neither did Remus, and, from the look on Sirius face, he didn’t either. Their eyes met, Sirius smiling, hands tangled together, only one thought in Remus’ mind.

Fuck, he was lucky.

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unconventional-lawnchair · 4 months ago

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Like my father {Blurb}

Sirius Black x Porter!Reader

Summary: Reader wants a man to love her like her father loves her mom. She just hasn't met him yet.. maybe.

AN: I needed a break from all the angst I'm writing.

Wc: 1494

Cw: use of Y/N, oblivious reader, idiots in love, not proof read

Part two

“Lily, I implore you to raise your standards.” You snarked as you entered the kitchen, giving your mother a kiss on the cheek and she playfully pinched your side.

“{Y/N} Euphemia Potter!” She scolded and you giggled, hurrying over to your father and kissing on the head.

“Good morning, princess.” He hummed and you smiled.

“Morning daddy!”

“Oi! Pops, she just insulted me!” James shouted across the table and Fleamont huffed, looking up at you. “Be nice to your brother, princess.”

“Daddy you know I can't.” You insisted as you walked across the table to give Lily a hug. Pressing your cheek to hers as she giggled.

“You're way too pretty for my wack of a brother.” You continued and your mother looked at her father fondly, taking his hand in her own, which he quickly squeezed in return.

“You're one to talk, you haven't dated anyone… ever. Not that anyone would date-” James smirked and Lily rolled her eyes, laying her head on his chest and pinching his side as he tried to continue.

“Ouch!”

“Thank you Lily.” You giggled and sat down at your seat, muttering a thank you to Sirius as he handed you your morning tea. Giving a low hum at the smell of the sugars and fragrant tea leaves he shifted for it. “Besides, I have standards that prevent me from stooping too low.”

“Standards?” James scoffed and you hummed as you took a sip of your tea, muttering another thanks to Sirius who began to serve you breakfast- a routine you two picked up at Hogwarts that was getting hard to break. “You have standards? You used to crush on boys left and right!”

“Yes but the second they didn't meet my standards they were gone.” You insisted with a hum and James shook his head with a scoff.

“What standards could you possibly be talking about?”

“Well…” You muttered and began to tap on your mug in thought. Slowly smiling to yourself. “I want a man who loves me like daddy loves mum.”

You could feel the room quiet as your words hung in the air. Your father glanced up from his breakfast, a soft smile spreading across his face, while your mother’s eyes sparkled with pride.

“Now that is a standard I can get behind,” Fleamont said, his voice warm and filled with affection. “A man who cherishes you and treats you with respect is worth waiting for.”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed, feeling a surge of confidence. “I want someone who understands the value of love and partnership, not just a fleeting crush. Someone who will stand by me through thick and thin, just like you two do.”

James rolled his eyes dramatically, leaning back and throwing his arm around Lily. “So, like us?”

You gave a long sigh before you slowly smiled. “Unfortunately, yes. You were gifted with dad’s love language, it's your only redeeming quality, I fear.”

Lily snickered and James gave an offended gasp.

“I want…” You trailed off as you put your hand to your cheek and crossed your leg over the other. “I want to come home to flowers. And tea made the way he knows I like. I want him to think about coming home to me at the end of the day.”

You didn't even seem to look when Sirius poured more tea into your cup, stirring in some sugar as you talked. Even though everyone else at the table noticed.

“I want a man who gets along with my parents too! And daddy has high enough standards as it is!”

You glanced over at your father, who was smiling proudly at you, his eyes twinkling with affection as he glanced at your mother who seemed to just be eating it up. “I do have high standards.” He mumbled with a playful grin, leaning in to kiss your mothers temple. “But I’m confident that any young man would be lucky to have you.”

“See?” You said, pointing at him with a mock-serious expression. “Even Dad agrees! So, boys, do take note: you’ve got to bring your A-game if you want to win my heart.”

James snorted, not noticing as Lily and Sirius seemed to make eye contact over the table. “What if they show up with flowers but no charm? Or worse, what if they have charm but no flowers? Sounds like a dilemma.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “That’s why I’m not settling for just flowers or just charm, James. It’s about the whole package. I want someone who knows me better than anyone. Someone who knows my favorite flower,” You held up your finger and Sirius smirked from beside you.

“Sunflowers.”

“My favorite movie,”

“Grease.”

“My favorite book,”

“Little Woman.”

“And even my favorite meal!”

“Anything your mom cooks.”

“Exactly!” You turned to face Sirius with a bright smile. “See? It's not so hard, even my brothers best friend can figure it out.”

You smiled to yourself and took another sip of tea, not noticing your parents sharing a look and your brother giving you the most shocked expression.

Sirius just chuckled and picked a grape off his plate. “It's easy when you never shut it, Potter.” He then proceeded to flick it at you, quickly, you caught it and rolled it between your fingers.

“Oh! And playful too! I don't want to be dreadfully bored around the bloke.”

“Playful? So you want someone who can keep up with your incessant snark?” James interjected, eyebrows raised in mock disbelief. “Good luck finding that! You’ll be searching for ages.”

You shot him a playful glare. “I’ll have you know that my wit is one of my greatest assets, thank you very much. I need someone who can challenge me, not someone who’s going to sit there and nod while I talk.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Lily chimed in, her voice light and teasing. “After all, who would want to date someone as dull as a rock?”

“Exactly!” You grinned. “I want someone who can banter with me, someone who can make me laugh until I cry; I want to marry my best friend.”

“Do you have other friends?” Sirius sassed and you gave him an offended but playful gasp.

“Excuse me?” You exclaimed, hand over your heart in mock horror. “I have plenty of friends, thank you very much! Just because you’re one of them doesn’t mean you can throw shade like that.”

“Friends who actually like you, though?” Sirius teased, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “That’s the real question.”

James burst into laughter, shaking her head. “Honestly, {Y/N}, you might need to reconsider your definition of ‘friends’ if he’s the best you’ve got.”

“Hey now, I’ll have you know that Sirius is a very valuable friend.” You shot back, your eyes narrowing playfully. “And let's not forget, I was Lily’s favorite Potter first.”

“You still are!” Lily cooed as she reached across the table, James quickly lifting his hands to keep you two apart.

“Hey! Hands off my wife!” He playfully scolded and you laughed, before giving a dramatic sigh.

“I want a man… who’s patient and sweet. Who knows what he wants and will take his time for it.” You nodded as if to agree with yourself. “I want someone who doesn't see me as some fleeting crush. He sees me as someone to work for, who puts in the time and energy.”

James smirked, leaning forward with a teasing grin. “Good luck with that! You’re going to have to beat them off with a stick.”

“I’m serious, James!” You shot back, a hint of frustration lacing your voice. “I want someone who values me, not just for my looks or what I can do, but for who I am. Someone who appreciates my quirks and my drive. Someone who knows all my little weird things.”

“Wow, when did you become so profound?” Sirius said, feigning shock as he dramatically placed a hand over his heart. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Potter.”

“Oh, shut it, Black. I’m just stating facts.” You replied, your tone playful yet earnest. “I deserve someone who sees my worth and is willing to fight for it, just like my dad did for my mum.”

Your father smiled at that, clearly pleased with your sentiment. “That’s right, my dear. Love is about commitment and effort.” He stood up and walked around the table to kiss your temple. “You should never settle for less than you deserve.”

“Exactly!” You nodded, feeling empowered. “I want a man who knows that love isn’t a race.”

“Mhm.” You father agreed before he patted Sirius’s back as he passed. “Good luck, son.”

Sirius felt his face flush and he slowly smirked to himself, biting his cheek.

You looked at him and furrowed your brow, before you mother came over and kissed your cheek and dismissed herself as well.

“What was that for?” You huffed and Sirius shrugged.

“Who knows?”

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black #james potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius x you #sirius o black #Sirius black x potter!reader #potter!reader #james potter x sister!reader #james fleamont potter #jily #james x lily #lily evans #euphemia x fleamont

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iamgonnagetyouback · 5 months ago

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a date...? ⋆˚࿔

synopsis ⭑.ᐟ james potter x reader where james forgets he has a date...with you?

warnings: james being an oblivious idiot

word count: 866 words

navigation┆ james potter masterlist┆request here 𝜗𝜚

James Potter had been in a mood all day, sulking in the corner of his dorm, chin resting on his knees as he stared dramatically at the wall. His glasses were askew, hair even messier than usual, and the sighs he kept releasing were loud enough to echo in the stone room.

“James, you’ve got to stop,” Remus said from his bed, flipping the page of his book. "It's exhausting just watching you."

James let out another exaggerated sigh, flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling now. “Y/N used to call me James,” he said in a low, defeated voice.

Sirius, perched on his own bed, raised an eyebrow and looked at Remus, baffled. "Mate," he said flatly, "that's because it’s your fucking name."

James groaned, as if Sirius had physically slapped him with that reminder. "But now she’s going on a date… with someone else.” His voice broke at the end, his hand dramatically placed over his heart like he was on the verge of tears.

Remus, looking for the quickest way out of this melodramatic spiral, rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know who the date is with.”

“And that,” James sat up again, his hair sticking up like he’d been struck by lightning, “is the worst part! It could be anyone. Maybe that bloke from Ravenclaw with the fancy broom. Or worse, Snivellus.”

Sirius barked a laugh. “Snivellus? Dating Y/n? You’ve lost it, Prongs.”

Just then, there was a knock on the dorm door. Before James could collapse back into his theatrics, Peter jumped up to answer it. “I’ve got it!”

He pulled the door open, and there you stood, dressed up and looking absolutely stunning. Peter's jaw dropped, Remus immediately smiled, and Sirius gave a low whistle.

“You look amazing, darling!” Sirius grinned, eyeing James, who had turned his back to the door the second Peter opened it.

You smiled at them, giving a small twirl. "Thanks, boys!" Then, you glanced at James, who's now dramatically slumped against the headboard. “James, are you ready to go?”

James stiffened, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Ready?” He didn’t turn around, muttering, “Why would I be ready? I’m not going to third wheel on your date.” His voice cracked at ‘date,’ and you blinked, totally confused.

“What are you talking about, James?” you asked, giggling. “You are my date.”

That got his attention.

James scrambled to turn around, almost toppling off the bed. “Wait—what? Me? How? When?”

You tilted your head, laughing softly. “Yesterday, I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me, and you said yes.”

James blinked at you, utterly confused. He slowly turned to Remus, who gave him a look that said ‘You absolute idiot.’ Then, to Sirius, who rolled his eyes, and finally to Peter, who gave him an encouraging thumbs-up.

Realization hit him like a bludger to the head. “You weren’t joking?” he asked in disbelief, his face turning bright red.

You raised an eyebrow, still amused. “No, James, I wasn’t joking. Did you really think I was asking someone else?”

James jumped up so fast, he nearly tripped over his own feet. “Oh Merlin’s beard,” he muttered, rushing toward the door. “Give me two seconds, I—uh—just—hold on!”

He slammed the door in your face before you could even react.

You blinked at the wood in front of you, completely baffled. “Did he… just shut the door?”

Inside, James was rushing around like a madman, pulling off his shirt, rummaging through his trunk, grabbing a new one, throwing things around in the chaos. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” he shouted at no one in particular, though it was probably aimed at Remus and Sirius.

“We did, mate,” Sirius snickered. “You just didn’t listen.”

James finally yanked on a half-decent shirt, and in his frantic haste, he opened the door, nearly knocking you over. He grabbed your hand, pulled you inside the dorm, and then he bolted out, closing the door behind him.

You were now standing alone in the middle of the boys' dorm, looking completely confused while the three Marauders tried and failed to stifle their laughter. Sirius doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“James… you’re killing me,” Remus wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye.

You glanced at them with a raised brow. “Is he always like this?”

“Only when he’s madly in love,” Peter grinned.

Before you could respond, there was another knock. The door creaked open, and there stood James, leaning against the doorframe, slightly out of breath, hair still a mess. His cheeks were bright red, and he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“You look gorgeous,” he said, voice soft and sincere, his eyes wide with awe.

You couldn’t help but smile at his flustered, dorky charm. “Took you long enough to notice,” you teased, and he chuckled sheepishly.

Sirius called out, “Don’t leave her waiting again, Prongs!”

James held out his arm, and you gladly took it, flashing a playful grin at the other boys before the two of you headed out the door.

Sirius gave a final, dramatic sigh from behind you. "Our boy's growing up."

Remus just shook his head, laughing.

#james potter x reader #james potter #james fleamont potter #james potter fluff #tooth rotting fluff #dividers by bernardsbendystraws #dividers by bohnerrific69 #fluff #marauders #marauders era #ivy writes ⋆.˚#james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter fanfiction #the marauders #james potter drabble

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pretty-little-mind33 · 1 year ago

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James Potter x Lupin!fem!reader

Summary: You never realized how much of an idiot your brother's best friend is until he becomes jealous.

Genre: Fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: Regulus Black x reader mentioned, swearing, insecurities, unrequited love? James is oblivious, he's kind of an asshole, jealousy, idiots in love basically

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

During the six years you've known him James Potter was never mean to you.

He'd always been the sweetest out of your brother's friends, and as kids you looked up to him. However, it wasn't until you turned sixteen that it became obvious you didn't see him as another brother. Instead, your admiration turned into the most obnoxious, heart-wrenching, crush.

When, after a year of pining, you came to the conclusion that James would never like you in the way you liked him, you reluctantly allowed your crush to fizzle away.

"He's just so cute," Your smile hurts your cheeks as you lay on the ground and point out the little notes your newest crush had written in your potions book.

"Oh, and look at this," You sit up and lean in to proudly show your friends your wrist, where a messy little heart is drawn. "Isn't Reggy just the cutest?" You must sound repetitive by now but your friends still listen with enthusiasm, "I think he likes me," You whisper.

You don't pay attention when James, Sirius, and a few other Gryffindor Quidditch players walk into the Common Room until, with exhausted humphs, Sirius and James let themselves slump dramatically onto the couch behind you and Sirius nudges his foot into your ribs, "Hey, little Lupin," He teases.

You hum and nonchalantly turn to look at him, accidentally catching James's eye. Jame's arm leans across the cushions as he tilts his head a moment and his lips curl up. His tongue cheekily pokes at his cheek as they turn pinker.

"Heard'ya have a crush on my little brother," Hearing his friend, James's smirk disappears as he tears his eyes away from yours, "He mentioned you yesterday." Sirius continues.

Quickly, you jump up and happily skip over to where Sirius and James sit. Your friends watch you in amusement as you mutter, "Excuse me," and wiggle in between the boys.

James moves his arm and sits up, clearing his throat. He runs a hand in his hair as he pretends not to listen in on your conversation.

"What did he say?" You ask.

James's jaw tightens as your scent surrounds him. He is never sure if it's your perfume or your shampoo but you smell like vanilla (with just a hint of strawberry) and his heart thumps. Absentmindedly, his hand twitches around his knee.

"Said he wants to know you better," Sirius side-eyes you, "Wanted my advice on how to talk to you. You wanna know what my advice is, Lupin?" Sirius leans his elbow on his knees and his chin in his palm as he looks at you directly.

You nod, your entire body now turned away from James and facing Sirius, "Stay away from Regulus. He's trouble. I don't know what you see in him anyways." Your face falls.

"What do you mean? He's actually kind, and he's funny, and he has really gorgeous eyes." You insist a little loudly, "I like him. He makes my heart flutter as if it contained a million butterflies — " You admit.

You've have always had a tendency to dramatize your crushes.

You hear James shift and he mutters something under his breath. Turning to him, your cheeks warm as you don't think you heard him clearly, "Sorry?"

"I - can't you just shut up about Regulus for one goddamn second? Because, frankly, I don't think anyone in this room actually cares what he does to your heart or how good he makes you feel," James's voice is tense and he looks at you with a completely blank expression.

Your eyes bounce frantically from feature to feature. From his crimson cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, and a small, developing, bruise (most likely from Quidditch) hidden under his chin. You feel nauseous as his words sink in.

You look around the room. Your friends all look surprised by James's comment and a few of the Quidditch players still in the Common Room whisper among themselves as they occasionally glance your way. Sirius turns to his best friend, his smile has disappeared but he doesn't speak. You wonder if he's as lost for words as you are.

At that moment, your brother walks into the room, three or four books tucked under his arm, and he looks at you and his friends from behind his reading glasses. He sees your lip tremble as your hands shake over your lap and you refuse to look away from James. Remus frowns, "Y/n, what's wrong?" He asks, cutting into the tension.

"You're a jerk, James." Your voice quivers and you stand. Without another word, you run up the stairs to your dorm and, as quickly as possible, your friends scramble to follow you.

"Why'd you say that?" Sirius asks in shock, raising his eyebrow in question at his best friend. James barely feels like he's in his body anymore and he blinks. Why did he say that to you? He looks at Remus and his heart sinks as a pit forms in his stomach. He's so screwed.

"What the bloody fuck did you say to my sister, Potter?" Remus curses.

Remus never curses.

* * *

James hasn't spoken with you in almost three weeks. Which means he hasn't had the chance to tell you he's sorry.

He's not that stupid, he knows you've been ignoring him and he can't exactly blame you. As you'd said, he'd been a jerk and he feels goddamn awful about it.

Ironically, what is making this entire situation so much worse is instead of hanging out with your friends — with him — you've been hanging out with Regulus.

James sees you study with him in the library. He sees you eat together in the dining hall, and walk to Quidditch games, hands almost brushing. His Quidditch games. Where he can't concentrate because all he can think about is the way another boy is making you laugh as he whispers, whatever it is that is so urgent he needs to press his lips to your skin, into your ear.

"What the hell was that out there?!" Sirius sounds annoyed as he hits James in the chest with his damp towel on their way out of the showers and into the changing room, "Where was your head, because it certainly wasn't in the game, mate!"

James looks away as he dries his hair with his towel, "I know, I know. I don't know what's wrong with me lately." He slumps onto the bench and resists the urge to scream into his hands.

"It's his little girlfriend. Our captain here s'just upset because she's been spending all her time with your little bro instead of with him — like she usually does." Andy, one of the beaters, snorts from behind James and quickly, James spins around and throws his towel at him in. He sends Andy a dark look, to which Andy shrugs his shoulders.

"Y/n?" Sirius frowns, he points at James and then gestures his arms wildly, "Our Y/n? As in Remus's sister, Y/n?" James cheeks flame in embarrassment and Sirius's eyes widen, "Oh my, you're so jealous." He says with a smirks

"I am not jealous, Padfoot. I just — seeing her with him while she smiles like that annoys me a lot." James tries to defend himself, "I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. It really does and I- it's just that she was never with other guys usually and I – " He pauses and squeezes his eyes shut as he groans, "I'm just describing my jealousy, aren't I?"

His teammates laugh and Sirius crosses his arms, "Yup." He tilts his head and pops his 'p', "So, how long have ya had a thing for our little Lupin, Prongs?"

James gives in and leans forwards to cover his face with his hands, "I don't know, Pads. I didn't even know I had a thing for her until three seconds ago." He opens his fingers and peeks at his friend, "And what am I supposed to do now? She's completely in love with your brother and she's Moony's sister."

Sirius rolls his eyes, "Oh please, she isn't in love with my brother."

James drops his arms onto his lap and looks at Sirius with confusion, "How would you know? She seems pretty in love with this to me."

"James, do you really not known that she's had a crush on you for almost a year? Everyone knows, even Remus."

James's eyes widened, "Wait, what? Since when – I - why didn't anyone tell me?"

"She made it very obvious. It's not our fault you're a knucklehead when it comes to women." Sirius chuckles and throws his towel over his shoulder. James stares blankly in front of him as all kinds of emotions wash over him.

You had a crush on him?

"Yeah, w-well she doesn't like me anymore," James concludes as he stands up and slips on his jeans, "I was a dick, she must hate me now." He clumsily buttons his chemise.

"Y/n could never hate you." Sirius chuckles, "Just go talk to her, you idiot."

James stares at his friend for a moment, debating his options, but then nods. As soon as he walks out of the changing room, he's determined to make this all okay again.

However, when he enters the Gryffindor common room a few minutes later and sees you and Regulus sitting on the ground around a game of wizards chess, his heart sinks.

His eyes automatically find the board. You're losing.

James can't help but remember all the times you've beaten him and the way your cheek had risen in excitement and smile lines had illuminated your features. He doesn't understand why Regulus would want to miss that smile.

James would kill to see you smile like that again.

You glance up at the sound of the door just as Regulus turns around. James stands in the doorway, his skin pales and his knuckles flex as his eyes vibrate. They're locked onto yours. Instantly, you're on your feet, "James!" You exclaim, eyes shifting from him and then Regulus. Regulus, whose expression is blank.

"Sorry," James mutters weakly. He realizes her doesn't have it in him to be jealous anymore. Not now that he knows why he's jealous. Who is he to stand in the way of your happiness? And if you're happy with Regulus, then he's happy for you.

He walks by you without a word and you turn around to watch him leave. However, your chest tightens when he pauses and it looks like he's debating something. You sense Regulus stand, "You know what? No." James suddenly blurts out and then turns around. You look at him like he's insane.

"I can't let you do this," He continues breathlessly.

"I think your friend has gone completely bonkers." Regulus leans in to whisper in your ear with a smirk but James interrupts him,

"This really doesn't concern you." James doesn't waste any time on him as he looks at you again, "Y/n, you should be with me, not him."

"Excuse me?" You frown and then look at Regulus as if to make sure he'd also heard James correctly. Regulus's smirk just widens as he crosses his arms.

Your embarrassment becomes worse when the common room door opens and Sirius, Peter, and your brother walk in. Their amused chatter turns into hushed whispers until they become silent as they watch the scene in front of them.

James's head whips around and you assume he'll stop whatever he thinks this is, but instead he just continues to ramble, "Hi!" His voice is hurried and loud. Sirius frowns. "You guys can stay. You should hear this too, Moony."

James turns to you again, "I like you."

You blink at him and look around the room, worried that you're losing your mind. Your brother has his cheeks flushed and he narrows his eyes at his friend. However, his eyes move to you and they soften when he sees your expression, "Y/n," Remus whispers.

"You like me? Is this one of your sick jokes?" You're unamused. James shakes his head adamantly but you continue in one breath, "I've liked you for months and months and it's only now, when you probably think I like someone else, you decide you like me? That's unfair, James" You sound stern.

"That's really fucking unfair," You whisper and push past him. James turns to you and calls your name as you disappear up the stairs to the dorms. It feels all too familiar when it sinks in that he messed things up. Again.

"You're such an idiot," Sirius groans as he drops his head on Remus's shoulder dramatically.

* * *

You throw yourself onto your bed with a bounce and scoop your pillow into your arms, screaming into it. Why does James have to be so goddamn infuriating all the damn time? He's always been oblivious to you until now — just when you've been trying your hardest to move on.

You hear a knock on your door and you grumble in response. One of your roommates walks into the room, "Remus is waiting by the stairs. Says he wants to talk to you." She says as she throws her book-bag onto the ground. You sit up, running a hand all over your face with an annoyed groan.

Reluctantly, you make your way downstairs. Your hand slides down the railing until you pause and see your brother at the end of the stairs, his arms crossed over his chest. "What?" You raise your brow and mimic his posture with a small smile.

James and Sirius aren't with him. "Come here," Remus demands calmly.

You look away and bite your lip. Still, you jump down the last pair of stairs until you're directly in front of your older brother, "Y'know, I don't know why you're pissed at me. I wasn't the one who — " Remus suddenly flicks your forehead which shuts you up.

"Do you like James?" He stares at you.

You stare back, your heart pounding. You don't know what to answer him. "I- I don't know."

"Well, you better know because he's having an existential crisis in the dorm right now and to be honest, Y/n, I'm so sick of pretending I don't know you've been head over heels in love with him for what feels like years." Your brother always sounds serious, but this time it scares you a little. Your arms drop to your side.

"Would you let me date James if I liked him?" You ask cautiously.

"I couldn't exactly stop you," Remus shrugs and looks away a moment, "Who am I to dictate your life." You see a small smile curl his lips, "Plus, James is an idiot but he's harmless. I've never seen him so genuine."

You perk up, "Yeah?"

Remus turns to you and reaches out to hold your shoulders, "Yeah. You should talk to him. He's convinced you're in love with Regulus." Your smile disappears.

"Oh, yeah, Regulus."

"You aren't in love with him, are you?" Remus asks, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Of course not!" You stutter, "I mean — I did like him for a moment but I've always liked James more. And I'm not exactly Regulus's type, y'know…" You admit in a whisper, knowing Remus knows exactly what you mean.

Remus smiles and nods. You look up at him and see his eyes shimmer, "If you've been holding back from liking James because of me, don't." He says sincerely, "He could make you happy, I know that."

You look at your brother's expression. He's completely serious. You look away and think back to James's confession: Y/n/n, you should be with me, not him. Your cheeks burn just remembering his words. You turn your head to your brother and nod, smiling. Remus drops his hands on your shoulders and lets you sprint up the stairs.

You barely make it to your brother's dorm when the door opens and James comes out. Your forehead hits his and the momentum causes him to fall backward.

You yelp as James's arms wrap around your waist as he cushions your fall and smacks the back of his head on the ground. You lift yourself with your arm, your knees in between James's legs as you practically lay on top of him.

James winces and his eyes shut.

"James! Are you okay?" You pant, barely aware of the embarrassing position you're in.

Sirius and Peter peek their heads out of the door and Sirius smirks when he sees the two of you, "I don't think Moony meant you could jump straight into this, Y/n." He jokes.

"Shut up," James mumbles and his hand holds your back as he sits himself up. You're now sitting on your heels as you look at James with wide eyes. He looks at you too and then his thumb gently brushes over your forehead, "You're gonna form a bruise." He mutters, eyebrows scrunching.

You smile faintly and move to adjust his glasses on his nose, "Probably from your glasses."

James stands up and helps you up with him. Your hand lingers in his and you smile faintly.

"We should talk." You say.

"Yeah," James looks away bashfully, "Come with me." He takes your hand again and you let him steer you down the stairs. Your feet barely feel like they're on the ground as you follow him.

Your stomach is in knots when he pushes the doors to the Common Room open and you make your way down new stairs and multiple hallways. Your head is spinning.

"James?" You mutter but he continues to walk, "James! Wait." You shout in a laugh. James turns around just as you pull him closer. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears when you delicately push him towards the wall and as his back hits the wall, you press your lips on his.

Your hands cup his cheeks and his hand lowers to your lower back as he pulls you into him. You can't help but smile into his mouth as you run your hands in his curls.

After a moment, he disconnects your lips and his thumbs rub across your cheeks as he holds them. He grins, "Since when do you know how to kiss like that?" He teases with a raised brow.

You smirk, "Wouldn't you like to know." You kiss him again quickly.

"Y/n, be honest," James looks serious. You frown. You thought your joke was funny. "Do – did? Di- do you still like Regulus?" He tries to avert his eyes but quickly looks at you as if he simply can't look away, "I think I deserve to know," He mutters.

"Of course you do!" You look into his eyes, "And if I still had any feelings for Regulus, I wouldn't hesitate to let you know, but I don't like him – not anymore. I haven't for weeks. Regulus doesn't like girls," You explain slowly.

James's eyes widen, "Oh. Ok." He smiles and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, "Good."

You giggle and kiss him again, "You're cute when you're jealous, Potter." You pause, "Cute but just a tad insane."

James frowns, "You'd go insane too, if you were me."

You grin, "Perhaps I would." You tease him and look at him adoringly, "You won't make me find out will you?"

James returns your grin and wraps his arms around you. He kisses your forehead and says,

"Never, my love."

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