#Sirius hides as Padfoot with Kingsley

[theresthesnitch]

Wednesday WIP

Thanks for the tag @tracingpatternswrites

I’ve recently started a Sirius/Kingsley fic that I will entirely blame on @arliedraws and @sorenphelps for their recent Starking drawings. Which, will have a scene in this fic eventually.

Enjoy 😉

~~~~

Padfoot sniffs along the edge of a garbage can. It’s not his favorite way to find food, but he can’t really be picky when–

“Hey there, pretty boy,” a kind voice says behind him.

Padfoot shrinks back slightly as he turns, then even more as he sees who is behind him. Sirius hasn’t seen Kingsley Shacklebolt since he left Hogwarts. Kingsley was two years behind them, and Sirius was fully enveloped in the war effort before Kingsley finished school.

Kingsley squats near him, hand outstretched. “It’s alright, sweet boy. Can I help you?”

He’s wearing maroon auror’s robes, stretched tight across his chest, and Padfoot honestly isn’t sure if this is a trick or not. He’s just escaped Azkaban. He would be a fool to get close to an auror. Instead, Padfoot edges away from Kingsley, back hunched.

“Okay, wait, hold on,” Kingsley holds a hand out, facing it at Padfoot. “Stay, I’ll be back in just a moment.” Kingsley apparates away without bothering to see if there are muggles around. Foolish, probably. Padfoot is surrounded, most likely.

He shouldn’t wait. It’s practically signing his own order for a dementor’s kiss to stay. In fact, he should run far, far away. Instead, he goes back to looking for food. He slinks away down the alley, sniffing at trash cans again. When there’s a loud crack, he hides behind one of the cans.

Padfoot can just see Kingsley from his hiding place, and there’s something in his hand. Padfoot lifts his nose and sniffs the air as Kingsley turns, scratching his head with his free hand, looking for where he went. It’s food. In his hand is something delicious–chicken, Padfoot thinks. He doesn’t mean to, but he walks out from behind his can, nose wiggling in the air.

Kingsley turns again and sees him, and there’s a big smile on his face. “There you are, pretty boy. I knew you didn’t leave. Such a good boy.” Kingsley squats, hand outstretched with the chicken toward him.

Padfoot doesn’t even recall deciding to move, but he’s suddenly snuffling in Kingsley’s hand as he devours the last of the chicken. “There you are. I know you were hungry. Can I get you some more? Would you come with me if I promised you more?”

Padfoot licks his hand now, trying to catch all of the grease left in the grooves of his palm. When Kingsley starts walking again, with a come on, good boy, Padfoot follows him. He has no choice, probably. There is chicken involved.

[albi-bumblebee]

PADTAIL FICLET.

(inspired by a post from @mrstellmeafuckingsecret)

It was the evening, and James and Remus were off collecting potions ingredients.

Peter was sitting on the cold, wooden dormitory floor, a book in his hand. He could hear the gushing of water coming from the bathroom, Sirius was taking a shower.

Peter had turned off the lights, and could only barely make out the words from his textbook.

These plantes are moste efficacious in the inflaming of the braine, and are therefore much used in Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts…Peter’s eyes glazed over, and his mind drifted elsewhere.

To Sirius, naked and dripping with water. His fat cock flopping while he sung in the shower, he always acted like he was singing on a stage. Peter’s pants felt tighter. He knew this about Sirius because sometimes he would sneak in the bathroom as Wormtail, and watch him.

Unlike Peter, Sirius never wanked in the shower. Or at least he never had while Peter was watching him, which was rather unfortunate—And the bathroom door was opening. Peter dropped his book to his lap to hide his semi.

Sirius looked gorgeous, almost angelic standing against the harsh backlighting coming from the bathroom, if not for his arched eyebrows and the glint in eyes that radiated mischief regardless of whether he was getting into trouble or not.

His red towel hung low to his hips, Peter could see his pelvic bones and the bit of his dark pubic hairs that poked out from underneath the towel. His shoulder length black hair was soaked. Peter had to stop himself from salivating.

Sirius crossed the room, and opened his truck. It was normal for them to change in front of their dorm mates, right? Peter picked his book back up, and quickly flicked back to the chapter he’d been on.

…Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts, where the wizard is desirous of producing…Peter could hear Sirius rummaging around his trunk…hot-headedness and recklessness…His towel dropped to the floor with a squelch. Peter barely let his eyes drift upwards and he was immediately met with the sight of Sirius’s, rather flat, arse.

Sirius seemed to not notice Peter staring, and shoved on his linen undergarments. Peter breathed in a sigh of relief. He watched as Sirius put on his striped robes over his linens, and dried off his hair with his wand.

“Padfoot?” “Yes?” Sirius looked down at him, through his long, dark eyelashes. “You’ sit down with me?” ”Why?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Please sit down.” “Give me a reason.” “I need to ask you about something.” “You can ask me about it while I’m standing.” “But I want you to sit with me!” “I don’t care.”

Peter looked down for a moment, then clenched his teeth.

“I’ve heard there’s a rumor about Kingsley.” “That Ravenclaw boy James likes knocking around with?” Peter nodded. “What are people saying about him?” “They’re saying that he’s…he’s not interested in girls. The muggles call it being ‘gay,’ I think. Makes no sense, doesn’t seem very happy to me.”

Sirius squinted his eyes.

“Why do I think you are trying to get a reaction out of me, Wormtail.” Peter played with the collar of his robes.

They were rather old fashioned looking, they’d been his father’s, his mother threw most of his old things out of the house after he’d ran off, but she knew they might not be able to get Peter new robes for school.

“Well, I might be. Does it really matter?” “I would not care if Kingsley didn’t like girls, he’s not even a friend for that to be of my concern. I don’t think you ought to care either.” “You don’t think he’ll try to…do anything to James?” Sirius clicked his tongue. “No.”

“Sirius…what if I wasn’t straight?” Sirius scoffed. “It wouldn’t matter, even if you were straight you’d still be chronically single.” Peter tried to ignore the stinging sensation in his gut, and plowed on. “So you wouldn’t say yes if I asked if I could kiss you? To figure out of I wasn’t straight, of course…” Peter trailed off.

“You cannot be serious.” “You’re right, I can’t be Sirius because you’re Sirius!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. That joke hadn’t gotten a laugh out of him since the first time Peter had made it, the dinner after they were sorted into Gryffindor.

“Well, if you are bent then there’s no way you would not like being kissed by me, so you would be right in assuming that I would be a good candidate for this. I have nothing better to do, so we might as well get on with it.”

Peter let out a squeal.

Sirius dropped to the floor.

His hand curled around Peter’s hip.

Peter let his fingers wander into Sirius’ hair. It was thicker than his own, and felt almost silky to the touch.

His breath caught as Sirius pressed his lips against his own. They weren’t as soft as he imagined, but not as chapped as his own, which was the first thing that came up in Peter’s mind.

At first Peter returned the kiss with a small hesitancy, as if he wasn’t sure it was truly happening, but soon their mouths were moving against each other’s at a frantic pace. Peter felt hot all over, Sirius didn’t seem to believe in chaste kisses; he kissed as if knew the world was ending tomorrow and he had only now to get all of the fire and passion out of body.

Sirius bit his lower lip, and Peter couldn’t help the pathetic little moan that spilled out of his mouth. Sirius rolled his eyes. He pulled away, his lips red and puffy.

“I’m done now, if that wasn’t enough for you to figure it out then you are out of luck, Wormy. I have to go find James and Remus.”

Peter nodded dumbly. He watched as Sirius left the dormitory, feeling unreal; like he wasn’t made if bone and flesh, but smoke clouds.

He couldn’t believe it! He’d kissed Sirius Black. Sirius had so many of their classmates practically throwing themselves at him, but he wasn’t out there snogging most of them! Maybe Sirius liked him more than he let on. Yes, Peter would love that. The possibility was so tantalizing. He was going to hold that tentative hope in his hands and keep it safe, close to his chest and beating heart.

He stood up, and leapt towards his four-poster. He drew the curtains closed, and spelled them tight for good measure. Oh, he was going to have a good night…

[wizardingworldlibrary]

Adult/Older Charaters (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

Acerba Sunt Bella Fratrum (bitter are the wars between brothers) (ao3) - unspeakable3 M, 4k

Summary: A series of letters written between Regulus and Sirius Black that neither brother could ever bring themselves to send.

Amenable to Reason I - Sparks (ao3) - fleur_despoir albus/gellert M, 443k

Summary: Gellert Grindelwald cannot believe his own eyes when, just a few days after his most successful rally yet, an unspectacular owl arrives with a letter from none other than Albus Dumbledore himself. And Albus Dumbledore cannot believe his own stupidity - perhaps over-indulging on firewhiskey and sending a letter to a former partner who just so happens to have become the most notorious mass murderer of the century truly was not on the list of things he ever wished to experience. Regardless, the damage is done. Decisions need to be made. The smallest stone can cause an avalanche after all, and who knows what might be swept along in its wake - or unearthed? OR: A story of two men realising that the wisest do not conquer in extremes, but in each other’s moderation.

A Silver Splintered River (fanfiction.net) - QueenOfTheDreamers87 bellatrix/voldemort M, 75k

Summary: Bellatrix receives a very peculiar gift for her twenty-first birthday - the kind that transports her, along with Lord Voldemort, to 1920s Paris. In the midst of Grindelwald’s ascent and while trying to unravel the mystery of the cursed “gift,” Voldemort becomes more than Bellatrix’s lord and master. Complete.

A Tangled Web (ao3) - halfpastmorrow remus/kingsley E, 3k

Summary: Kingsley is determined to find out exactly what Remus is hiding.

Being Not Normal (ao3) - PaulaMcG albus/argus, argus/the fat lady, sirius/remus T, 5k

Summary: Argus has lived to mature years before he realises that he lacks something else besides magic. There’s still more for him to learn about rats and pranksters, about restoring paintings, and about himself.

Black & White (ao3) - SeriousScribble lucius/narcissa T, 12k

Summary: The Ministry of Magic has been the stage for schemes and plots for centuries. The tale of how Lucius Malfoy was acquitted with applause and Bartemius Crouch lost all chances to become Minister for Magic is Narcissa’s contribution … and it always ends in Courtroom Ten.

Death Eaters At The Malfoy Estate (ao3) - Grindylowe T, 57k

Summary: Explore Severus Snape’s overworked, drug-riddled world of sexual confusion during his time as a Death Eater.

Did You Miss Me? (ao3) - Fantismal, Krethes sirius/remus, james/lily, alice/frank E, 641k

Summary: Though the new boy at Hogwarts University, James Potter, appears to be an adorable himbo with deep pockets, Remus Lupin and his friends instead find a horrifically dark past on Google. Did he really attack that boy and leave him for dead? Why won’t he talk about his mysterious childhood best friend, “Pups”? Would it kill him to stop messing with his hair?

At least Remus got his phone back after losing it, but now he can’t stop texting the mysterious number of the man who had sent it back. Padfoot is funny and charming, and Remus is NOT going to fall in love with him.

Fate (ao3) - silverynight albus/gellert/newt M, 11k

Summary: Albus offers Newt an interesting solution to make Grindelwald forget his obsession with him.

From the Desk of Minerva McGonagall (ao3) - Realmer06 T, 8k

Summary: Professor McGonagall makes a habit of writing to the parents of her students once a term. However, her owl has recently taken to pretending he has a broken wing whenever the name 'Weasley’ is mentioned.

Frozen Hearts Melting (fanfiction.net) - mandymld lucius/narcissa M, 149k

Summary: Lucius visits Death and is sent back to right some wrongs and fix his family and the Potter boy. Narcissa and he learn to trust not only one another but the outside world and find freedom in their choices. Lucius guides Harry but this isn’t an adoption story, as he moves towards his destiny regarding not only Voldemort but Hermione.

I Can See You (ao3) - peaceinpanem regulus/james, sirius/remus, draco/harry T, 21k

Summary: When James and Regulus made a pact to marry each other if they were both single at thirty, it seemed like a distant possibility.

But as life takes unexpected turns, James finds himself divorced, reminiscing about their childhood promise.

With Harry gone to school and Sirius and Remus pursuing parenthood, James wonders if Regulus is still single and if their long-forgotten vow can be reignited.

Kingsley’s Folly (ao3) - copperbadge remus/kingsley M, 3k

Summary: Kingsley is going to give Remus Lupin a piece of his mind about Nymphadora Tonks – but Remus is even more confused than he is about it.

last year i abstained this year I devour (ao3) - MrMxLemons snape/voldemort E, 7k

Summary: Severus Snape has wars to win and appearances to keep

little times (ao3) - always_a_birthday_girl sirius/remus M, 43k

Summary: Remus barely noticed when James threw his feet in Peter’s lap or Peter hung shamelessly over Sirius’s shoulders when he was hungover, barely cared when they crowded him on the walk to Hogsmeade for warmth, an eight-legged mass of terrible hair and a single overextended scarf.

But right now, Sirius hovering like a shadow ahead of him, Remus noticed. And if he were completely honest with himself, he noticed Sirius every time.

Sirius inhaled like he could draw all of Remus up with it, take him back to the Potters in his lungs, and hugged him.

Ophiuchus: The Serpent Bearer - The Story of Narcissa Malfoy (fanfiction.net) - JamRolyPoly T, 130k

Summary: A Death Eater’s wife, Draco’s mother, Bellatrix’s sister and the witch who made an Unbreakable Vow with Severus - but who was Narcissa really? Canon-compatible, (books 1-7) following Narcissa from her seventh year at Hogwarts in 1972 through to the immediate aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998. All chapter titles are named after constellations and their myths. Complete.

our endless numbered days (ao3) - Kierkegarden albus/gellert T, 8k

Summary: Some days were silent, and some days passed without so much as a glance. Some days were filled with banter, and other days with cold, cutting truths. Without the mirror bond, Albus thought, he might still be trying to forget that summer.

Woven Together (ao3) - prideofprewett arthur/molly, hermione/ron, harry/ginny, audrey/percy T, 23k

Summary: Molly knit a blanket right before her marriage to Arthur and it became a fixture at The Burrow throughout the years. Basically an excuse to write Weasley family fluff basically.

[engie-ivy]

Another one for @wolfstarmicrofic!

15th: Breathing Room

“Congratulations Padfoot!” James hugs him tight. “I know I’ve been hiding it well-” He hasn’t “-but I’ve actually been really worried! I’m so relieved your name has been cleared! Now you’re finally allowed to see Harry again. He’s been asking about you, you know. He’s been missing his Pads!”

“Sirius Black,” Amelia Bones walks up to them, looking grave as always. “I’m glad to know the verdict turned out in your favour. However, the issue of how you obtained inside-information about Pettigrew being the traitor still remains. I must ask you again to please disclose the name of your source.” She lowers her voice and takes a step closer. “If it was your younger brother, I understand your wish to protect him. However, if he is one of You Know Who’s followers, he must be trailed. His young age and his courage in passing on vital information that helped save the Potters’ lives will of course help in getting him a more lenient sentence, but there has to be a fair trail nonetheless.”

“Amelia,” Kingsley Shacklebolt places a hand on her shoulder. “Our primary objective right now is to track down Peter Pettigrew. Now that his plan to deliver the Potters to You Know Who has failed, and his true nature has been revealed, he is desperate, and desperate men are dangerous men. He already blew up an entire street, killing twelve Muggles, just in an attempt to frame Sirius. Who knows what he’s capable of doing next?” He turns to Sirius. “Sirius, I need you to give me an exact description of what the rat looks like, as detailed as possible. I want to be able to pick him out from an entire sewer full of rats!”

“Black!” Mad-Eye Moody paces up to him, his bad leg dragging behind him, one eye fixed intently on Sirius, the other restlessly scanning the room. “Going after Pettigrew alone was stupid! You should’ve informed the Aurors’ Office and kept a levelled head. It’s a good thing you at least sent word to Lupin and Potter about what you learned and what you intended to do. Without their testimonies, you would’ve had a much harder time proving it wasn’t you who killed all those Muggles.” He shakes his head, one eye continuing to look around undeterred. “But your name has been cleared, and despite your tendency to act on impulse without thinking and let your emotions get the better of you, you have potential. I want you to report for Auror Training.”

“Excuse me, Mr Black? My name is Oliver Quilling, from the Daily Prophet. Can I have a first reaction? You were the most hated man in the Wizarding World, how does it feel to now have your name cleared?”

“Mr Black! Mafalda Griffin from Witch Weekly! Tell me, what has hurt you more? Pettigrew’s betrayal of the Potters, or him trying to frame you as the traitor and a murderer?”

“Sirius...” A teary-eyed Emmeline takes his arm. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Merlin, I’m so sorry! I said such horrible things about you! I just thought... All the witnesses who heard Peter shout... And an illegal Animagus rat disappearing into the sewer after cutting of his own finger? It sounded so unbelievable!” She shakes her head. “But it doesn’t matter. I should’ve had more trust in you, and I’m sorry. I hope you can one day forgive me.”

“Mr Black, I have some documents that require your signature, regarding your new property at Grimmauld-”

“Can you all just back off?!”

Sirius pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry,” he says, taking a calming breath. “But these last weeks have been difficult and emotionally draining. I just need some breathing room. Please, for now, give me some space and leave me alone.”

People start filing out of the room, muttering to themselves.

“Where are you going?”

Remus turns around and blinks at Sirius. “You wanted people to leave you alone?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Not you, obviously.” He holds his hand out to Remus.

Remus raises an eyebrow with an amused expression on his face. “You asked everyone to back off?”

“I asked everyone else to back off,” Sirius corrects. “You’re not everyone else.” He waves his hand impatiently.

With a smile, Remus takes his hand, and Sirius immediately pulls him close. Remus wraps his arms around him and presses his face against the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted space.”

“Not from you,” Sirius mumbles against his hair. “Never from you.”

[thestrangebeingyouarent]

Happy birthday Moony, love Sirius - 1982

Haha, more angst :))

part 1 here

Cw: Food, swear words, toxic relationships (Wolfstar during the first wizarding war), panick attack/hyperventilation, mentions of death/dying (lily and james)

~

It was cold in Azkaban. It always was, but that day it was worse, in Sirius’ opinion. He was ever so rudely awoken by his cousin’s, Bella, screams. ‘The lord shall break me free! And you will regret locking me up, you file mudbloods!’ This meant it was visiting day, the day that actual human guards came to inspect and give prisoners messages, if necessary.

‘Bella, will you shut the fuck up,’ he replied. He didn’t hear a reaction, but imagined the guards had used a simple silencio.

‘Black.’ Sirius’ head shot up, normally the aurors didn’t even acknowledge his existence. You know, with him supposedly being the one who “betrayed” Lily and James to Voldemort.

‘Kingsley?’ The man in front him was older, but definitely Kingsley Shacklebolt.

‘This came for you. We inspected it, so you can have it. But if we hear any bad things, we won’t hesitate to take action, Sirius.’ His voice was mocking and the hatred dripped from it.

‘What is it?’ Sirius asked, too tired to bother explaining he was innocent.

‘Yesterday’s paper.’

‘Why would anyone send me yesterday's Daily Prophet?’ He looked at the parchment in front of him. The headlines didn't seem any out of the ordinary. Kingsley just scoffed and walked away.

His eyes scanned over the headlines. And then he saw, and he knew who had sent it.

‘March 10th 1982’, the date in the corner. Remus Lupin's 22nd birthday was yesterday. And Sirius hadn’t even known.

Normally, on march 10th, he smiled and remembered the birthdays before and looked forward to the day to come.

This march 10th he finally lost it. He closed his eyes, desperate to remember past birthdays. And, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

He needed to remember something. There had been a cake, right? Presents? Fuck, what did he give him? Sirius' breaths became shallow. He had to remember.

No, Sirius, you can do this. Easy things first. Chocolate flavour. Definitely chocolate. Sirius could remember chocolate, because he associated it partly with Dementors and those did not count as happy thoughts.

Next, the presents. He had given Moony.. Fuck. Sirius’ breath was now on the verge of hyperventilation.

‘Nonononono,’ he started mumbling. ‘I have to remember.’ Just, just Moony. He at least had to remember Moony. He closed his eyes again and started to imagine him.

Brown hair, golden eyes, tall, tanned.. Scars! He definitely also had scars. Sirius knew these things, but still no image.

And then a memory.

‘Pads! Padfoot, what’s wrong?’

‘They disowned me, Moony. I- I don’t know what to do.’

‘Sirius, love, it will be alrig-’

And the memory ended. ‘No! No, there was more. There was more!’ Sirius began tapping his finger as his mind got flooded with the bad times.

‘I have to leave, Sirius. I’m late for the mission.’

‘No.’

‘What mission, Moony? Why don’t you ever tell me?’ ‘I can’t tell you. You know this.’

‘No, please no.’

‘They have to go in hiding.’

‘Stop,’ Sirius’ mumbling got a little louder.

‘Why can’t you tell me where?’

‘No, stop.’

‘Why don’t you trust me, Sirius?!’

‘Stop, please,’ Sirius cried out. He cursed Azkaban once more. He had cursed it for trapping him, for not allowing him to prove his innocence and for the bloody weather. But now he cursed it, once more, for removing the happy memories. He didn’t have a lot, but the ones with Remus’ were supposed to last. Those were supposed to be his happy ending. Not a miserable middle.

And then the worst one came. The one he remembered the most vividly.

‘THEN LEAVE!’ Remus’ had never sounded this angry, yet tired. ‘Then leave, Sirius. If you don’t trust me.’ He pointed at the door. ‘Keep them save, will you?’

And now, looking back, stepping out of that door was the worst thing he had ever done. His biggest regret.

The scene replayed in his mind. Over and over again. And it became too much.

‘Stop. Stop! STOP!,’ he cried out. ‘Make it stop, please. Please, i’m begging you. No! Nononono.’ He had started shaking, hyperventilating and his body ached. Tears streamed over his face. ‘I can’t do this.’

He moved to the bars of his “room” and yanked on them. ‘I need to leave! I need to see him. I need to talk to him,’ he yelled. And he yelled for a long time, till his voice was nothing more than a whisper.

‘Happy birthday, Moony. Love, Sirius.’

A single tear rolled over his cheek.

‘I’m so sorry.’

~

i hope you liked it

[softheartedscorpio]

20 Things About Harry Potter Headcanons:

Harry’s first friend was a snake. He met her in the garden at the Dursley’s when he was five. He spent many afternoons doing chores and talking to the little green snake.

Harry’s favorite chore growing up was cooking. Not only was it an opportunity to sneak food, but it was also calming for him and he was very good at it.

Going to Hogwarts, he never told anyone, but he loved potions for the same reason as cooking. He struggled because of Snape’s overwhelming presence, but when it was just him, a recipe, and a cauldron. Harry was very skilled in potions.

Harry was good at drawing. He kept a sketchbook under his pillow and hidden in his trunk. On sleepless nights, he found himself sketching scenes.

His favorite thing was an image of a large, black dog with grey eyes. A small message addressed to Padfoot was beneath the sketch that was stained with tears.

Harry got tattoos of a hoof, a lily, a paw print, and a moon after the war. He hides them under glamours at first, until Ron walks in on him getting changed and spotted them on his rib cage.

Harry’s animagus form was a fox. He mastered his form the year after he graduated.

Harry was secretly a bookworm. However fear of upsetting his friends if he got better grades than them like the Dursley’s used to, Harry dumbed down his skills in classes and on exams.

Harry made an unbreakable vow to Teddy when he was a year old to protect him and love him as his own.

Harry was very much a prankster. The twins and him would normally make plans together. They called themselves The Rebels during Harry’s second year when the school had turned against him.

It was during his fourth year that he realized he was bisexual. Harry’s first crush on a boy was Cedric.

After graduating Harry kept a pensieve in his office, and when Teddy turned eleven Harry showed him memories of both Remus and Tonks.

Kingsley offered Harry a position as an auror without taking an exam, but Harry refused saying he did not want special treatment.

Harry cleared Sirius’s name after the war and ensured that he was remembered as an hero along with Remus who was the first werewolf to receive order of Merlin, first class.

Harry fixed up Number 12, Grimmauld Place and sold it because he didn’t want to live in the place that held bad memories for Sirius. He then donated the money he recieved to St. Mungo’s.

Harry kept a diary of his life and when he was on his deathbed, he gave it to Teddy wanting him to know who he was. Not “Harry The Boy Who Lived” but “Just Harry”.

Harry built a friendship with Draco after the war. He showed up to the trials and defended both Narcissa and Draco. His testimony kept them out of Azkaban.

Harry spent many afternoons during his final year, talking to Dumbledore’s portrait where he laid everything on the table. From his treatment at the Dursley’s to his feelings of how things played out.

He left the school with a lighter heart and a final say of, “I know you thought you were doing what was best but you can’t play people like chess pieces. I can understand why you did why you did, but I can’t forgive you. Goodbye Albus.”

Harry and Teddy traveled every year, wanting to create new experiences and new memories. They were often joined by Luna whose heart carried a desire for adventure.

[doggedfather]

Relationship headcanons

Repost, don't reblog

Name: Sirius Orion Black

Nickname: Padfoot, blood traitor, my greatest disappoint (walburga), pain in the ass (everyone)

Gender: Male

Romantic orientation: Big gay

Preferred pet names: he likes padfoot. He doesn't really have any pet names? He'd be hella picky about them too. If someone calls him some stupid name he'd probably punch them.

Relationship status: lmfao mans died a virgin

Favorite canon ship(s): OK. Canon is fake. Canonically died a virgin which is STRAIGHT PROPAGANDA from the Queen of Hets Joanne. LET SIRIUS BE SLUTTY 2020!

Favorite non-canon ship(s) so far: listen remus x Sirius would be canon if it wasn't for our queer baiting queen, but it's not so obviously all of my remus ships. And Gladion @aparecium-muses (is that the blog with Gladion? Idk anymore) is his SOULMATE ok we were talking and they're like "yeah Gladion's patronus is an Irish wolfhound" and I was like PADFOOT IS AN IRISH WOLFHOUND and we were like YOOOO! and it was meant to be. Also when that thing with @alwaysconquer happened lmfao that was wild. Also it hasn't happened yet but Sirius totally has a thing for Kingsley and I need to write that so HMU all you Kingsley blogs

Opinion on true love: Sounds fake but whatever.

Opinion on love at first sight: nah. More like lust at first sight.

How ‘Romantic’ are they?: Sirius can romance someone to death. You want that candlelit dinner in a park while the way you look tonight is playing? Sirius can deliver! But he's also the kind of person that has the maturity of a 13 year old, so beware.

Ideal physical traits: BIG SEXY MAN! Look like Thor or leave. Jk. He likes guys that are taller than him, but he's tall so that can be a little hard. Doesn't like super short hair. He wants to be able to play with it or pull on it. He's not picky with muscles, as long as you don't look like a balloon animal steroid dude. That's ugly. And god. Please shower.

Female: lmao

Male: I mean I basically described it?

Ideal personality traits: sense of humor. I mean you'd have to have one to even tolerate Sirius so. He likes anyone he can hold a conversation with, so he's not big on guys that never say anything. Be able to make fun of yourself. Also y'all need to go with the flow!

Unattractive physical traits: anyone who looks like Severus Snape. Ok fr tho y'all gotta shower! Wash ya damn hair! He doesn't like short hair like I said, and no balloon looking mans.

Unattractive personality traits: Severus Snape. sorry. Ok so no sense of humor, no ability to laugh at themselves, and people that can't go with the flow. Also death eaters except that one time with Lucius that doesn't count

Ideal date: oh god. He's not very picky. Except he won't step foot in a public pool or a McDonald's because ew.

Do they have a type?: friends. Literally it's people he's been friends with for a while that he falls for. It can be problematic.

Average relationship length: Sirius is the kind of guy that falls hard, so he's really not gonna end a relationship unless it gets really bad. Even then he might not end it. So basically you have to dump him or it will never end.

Preferred non-sexual intimacy: PLAY WITH HIS HAIR! God y'all. He's a dog. Pet him. Also as long as his mans is touching him he's happy. Arm around his waist or shoulders, hand on his back or ass, etc

Commitment level: ride or die. You've got a body you need to hide? Bet. Gotta go into hiding? Bet.

Opinion of public affection: it depends on the place and whether it's situationally appropriate. He won't make out with someone in a nice restaraunt or anywhere with kids around. Take him to a nightclub? Mans will be all over you.

Past relationships?: lmao

Tagged by: @aparecium-muses

Tagging: all of you

[consultinggallifreyanfallenangel]

okay I’m so upset.

after watching the first ep of spn this season I had this INSANELY IN DEPTH fanfic idea and I was like HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO WRITE THIS OMFG LKAJF:ALJFKLDJF and I was putting it off and putting it off because I just kept thinking of more and more twists and backstories to go with it. Then the second episode aired, and I was like, welp.. Maybe I’ll wait until hellatus so I can use some canon in the newer episodes..

AND THEN FUCKING MICHAEL PARTIALLY STOLE MY IDEA!! So no If I write it i will look like I am super un-creative and just used part of the story...

Please ignore any typos I’m just throwing this together real quick. I’ve been thinking about this non stop for two weeks now..

Here is a quick, unorganized, mess of what the main events in my fanfic idea are:

like my idea was supposed to take place right after that scene in 14x01 where *SPOILER ALERT* Sam kills that demon and is all like “There will be no new King of Hell. Not today. Not ever. And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me. Understood? So, What's it gonna be?" and the demons hesitated for a few seconds then smoked out and Sam's all like "That's what I thought.“ I was gonna write a story where one of those demons is my OC and is so done with Sam’s shit that he decides to start his own super army to take back Hell. He knows he can kill Sam pretty easily if he got him alone, but that’s not good enough for him. He doesn’t want to just capture or kill him he wants to PULVERIZE him. And Michael is being a pain in the ass killing tons of monsters and any demons that get in the way so it pisses my OC off to the point that he wants to kill Michael. And take over Heaven because why not.

My OC was gonna come up with the idea where he wants to give monsters demon strength in addition to their own strength to become wickedly strong. At first he tried demon blood, it barely has any effect, and the few that it did work on, ended up turning against him.

Then he has the idea to ditch his meat suit and possess different monsters. Vamps, Shifters, Djinns, etc.. They each had different sets of pros and cons. Eventually he realizes that werewolves are his best option, due to their strength and agility. He possesses different werewolves and works his way up in packs trying to find the most powerful Alpha.

There are different breeds of wolves some only change on full moon, some can change whenever they want. Some have absolutely no control of their change others have little, some have complete control.

As he works his way through the ranks, he still isn’t satisfied. He wants to find the STRONGEST Werewolf there is. Eventually he learns of Fenrir Greyback, supposedly the most powerful werewolf that ever lived. He learns of Hogwarts from so many collected memories of student werewolves he has possessed. But the more and more he heard about Greyback, the more he learned about how little he was actually able to control his powers and that he was a hot-mess and crazy killing machine.

Disappointed by this, and about to leave Hogwarts and settle for a different wolf, he finds out about Remus Lupin.

Not only was Lupin a werewolf, he was also a WIZARD, and an Defense Against the DARK ARTS Professor at Hogwarts. Amazed by this information, my OC decides he HAS to possess Lupin. Lupin didn’t have complete control over his inner Moony either, but he was a better organized individual and he did have ALL of the knowledge and ability to preform dark spells that can inflict serious damage and easily kill. Greyback had the ability to perform magic as well, but he was killed by a couple of students, verses Lupin who was killed by a powerful Deathe Eater that took many lives. If he can control Lupin, he would not only has his werewolf strength and agility combined with his own Demon strength, but also ALL of that magic, and easier control of his inner wolf, Moony.

He can take down Sam, Michael, Heaven, Hell, and everything between..

So he finds out as much as he can about Lupin and devises a plan. He easily gets himself (as a student) into trouble at Hogwarts so that he can meet with the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Minerva McGonagall. After they’re alone in the office, he jumps her, beats the shit out of her and FORCES her to take him back in time to back before Lupin is killed. It just so happens to be around the time the Order of the Phoenix was prime and before any serious attacks on Voldemort have occurred.

My OC isn’t strong enough to time travel without the help.

Long story short he possesses Lupin, petrifies McGonagall and goes back to the present and begins his rein.

Throughout his story-line, I was going to have cuts to Sam and Cas searching for Dean. Michael killing everyone he considered liars, trying to weed out the population to only people he could trust, Jack trying to learn how to be human and training to become a hunter with Bobby, and Mary working with all of the survivors from the alternate Earth taking down any monsters they can and watching for signs of Michael for Sam and Cas.

After Lupin is taken from the past and McGonagall is found by Kingsley Shacklebolt, she explains everything to him and the rest of The Order. The whole Order is extremely upset but have so much going on with Voldemort and the Death Eaters that they can’t do much about it. Plus Lupin being gone is one less member which doesn’t help their situation, so sending more members after him, will only cause harm to them. Meanwhile, Sirius Black refuses to not do anything and demands to go with McGonagall back to the future.

McGonagall and Black, back to the current time, try to meet with the current Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger, only to find out the second they return to the future that EVERYTHING changes. The plans made by The Order are altered and don’t work out, mostly due to missing two members and having different ideas for priorities. Greyback never died, Voldemort took over the entire Wizarding World and magic is no longer a secret to muggles who are terrified of everything happening.

Sam and Cas hunt Death Eaters in addition to monsters (which has been a normal thing since 1998 when the Battle of Hogwarts failed horribly.) Shit is chaotic AF. A few weeks later after a lot of extremely traumatic events. There’s going to be an insanely intense fight between Michael and my OC as Remus. McGonagall and Black are there hiding planning on waiting for my OC and Michael to fight each other almost to death than jump in to intervene.. Meanwhile, Sam, Castiel, Mary, Bobby and Jack are there hiding out waiting for the exact same thing to happen and try to save Dean. They accidentally meet at the scene of the fight, almost fight each other then find out they’re on the same team and decided to work together to stop the madness. There’s going to be an insanely painful scene where Sirius as Padfoot is fighting my OC as Remus/Moony and Sirius is going to be seriously injured by him and Remus will be fighting with Moony internally trying to force the demon out and self harming trying to escape to reality. He almost kills his Padfoot. Similar to that parallel in that scene in SPN where Cas almost kills dean and Dean breaks Naomi’s mind control on Cas, Padfoot will eventually get through to Remus enough for Remus and Moony to team up for a few seconds for just long enough to overthrown the demon, but the demon escapes.

No amount of exorcising can kick him out of his body, Sam and Castiel have tried relentlessly, but he used Lupin’s magic to hex a make-shift force-field to trap his demon soul into the body. When Lupin overpowered the Demon, there was a second where the hex was broken due to lack of concentration and he was able to smoke out of there.

Meanwhile, Michael isn’t giving up and things get so bad that it has come down to, stop trying to save dean, and just kill Michael. With the demon gone, everyone is now trying to kill Michael/Dean and it is pure carnage and mayhem. Eventually they succeed by combining multiple killing spells and and being stabbed by both Ruby’s Demon killing blade, Cas’ angel blade, and a shotgun blast to the head, all at the same time.. Michael and Dean are both obliterated. It seemed like extreme over-kill but it was just barely powerful enough to kill the Arch Angel.

The scene is incredibly painful and Cas tries and tries and tries to heal the damage but it’s too late. Dean is gone. Cas doesn’t give up, he keeps trying and trying until he is so physically exhausted he cannot physically use another ounce of his Angel juice. All he was able to really do was patch up most of his scars and mend some of his limbs back into place. Sirius and Remus, although extremely weak also tried to help, with their magic but both failed.

Minerva felt horrible watching and nobody noticed her slipping away, probably to prepare a potion to go back in time.

But then she comes back, with the Philosopher’s stone. Thought to have been destroyed by Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel years ago. Apparently right after the Battle of Hogwarts, Minerva back in time to stop them from destroying it, so she can use it to talk to Dumbledore and so others can use it to talk to their loved ones who had passed away during the war in her timeline. She has had this stone in her possession ever since. Never once using it’s true power of Resurrection. She knows that the stone can only be used toe resurrect one soul before it destroys itself, so she’s been keeping it locked away somewhere only she knew the location for it.

She didn’t even hesitate, she went to work straight way. She used the stone and with a brilliant flash of green light and a collection of ghostly voices and an almost theatrical scene that took everyone’s breath away, everyone stared on at Dean. Nothing happened. Hours go by, Cas refused to leave Dean’s side and Sam tried to force himself to accept the reality of he situation and plan what to do with his body.

McGonagall gives Remus and Sirius ALL the information they need to actually stop Voldemort. She doesn’t tell them anything about their deaths. They asked her about that topic earlier on. She said that they didn’t die in her timeline, but that they must be dead in the current reality because of Voldemort, which is why they can’t find themselves. She lied to them because she can’t risk having more alterations to the timeline that could have catastrophic results again. She is very much away that she is basically sending them to their deaths for the greater good, and she is going to have to live with that for the rest of her life. She will never forgiver herself, but it is what must be done.

Sam, Cas, Mary, Bobby and Jack, distraught take Dean’s remains to Lawrence, Kansas. Planning on burying him properly where their story started.

Sam and Bobby dug the hole while Mary and Jack built a casket of sorts for him. They don’t want to burn his remains, its not something Dean would've wanted. They close the lid of the casket and carefully lower him into the ground. They say all that they can’t think to say and start to bury him.  They all lingered afterwards, not wanting to leave. After about half an hour of staring at his grave, Sam starts to walk back to the car. They have a long drive back to the Bunker where he can properly mourn.

Cas, however, doesn’t step away from the grave. He is knelt down with his with his hands a few inches deep into the dirt just over the grave. He is still in shock and refuses to accept this. After awhile longer, his sadness turns into anger. He becomes uncontrollably angry and slams his hand down as hard as he can, disheveling the dirt around him. He looked up to the sky and is seconds away from screaming at Chuck for letting such a horrible thing happen. But just as he’s about to leap up to his feet and scream, a faint tapping noise catches his attention.

All of his anger suddenly gone, he, kneels forward and presses his ear almost to the ground, listens intently. He doesn’t hear anything, but he waits; still not giving up hope. After a few seconds of silence, he heard the sound again.

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap....

He screams to Sam. “Do you hear that?” Sam quickly joins him, and listens. He hears nothing. Mary and Bobby and Jack hurry over and also hear nothing. They think Cas is making it up because he doesn’t want to accept it.

Cas insists on hearing a tapping noise and grabs the shovel out of the car and starts digging.

Bobby makes a move to try to stop him, saying don’t bother, the boy’s dead. Cas angrily shoves him away too hard and starts frantically digging. When he’s about halfway down and has screamed Deans’ name half a dozen times already, sudden Sam started to hear the tapping. Sam was doubtful for a second but then as Cas started digging deeper the sound started to sound like a knocking. Sam and Mary realized in unison that the impossible might have actually occurred. They both started digging with their hands alongside Cas as fast as they could. Still uncertain, with tears blurring their vision.

Cas still screaming Dean’s name and digging faster and faster. The knocking started sounding like banging, and there was another muffled sound accompanying it.

Almost through to the casket, the banging was getting louder and louder and the muffled voice was Dean’s voice screaming “Cas!” over and over again. They thew open the casket and destroyed the door in the process.

Dean was alive!! The stone worked! It took just over twenty four hours, but it worked!

Dean was groggy, and in a lot of pain. He could barely lift himself into a sitting position.

Cas hugged him tight then quickly healed his wounds as much as he could, before he and Sam lifted him out of the grave and onto solid ground.. Sam, Mary, Jack and Bobby each got a chance to hug him. All of them laughing is disbelief.

“Don’t let me say yes to another dick with wings--.” Dean coughed up some blood. “--Ever again.“

“Yo-ou bet.” Said Sam with a smile, trying to hide the break in his voice.

[fuckkerydicckery]

What if the Potters had Really Lived | Part three

Sirius Black tucked his long hair behind his ears, he was waiting for Arthur Weasley to show up to the Order meeting. So far most of the members were at the meeting place for the Order. He saw Dumbledore talking to young auror. Sirius Black recognized him as Kingsley Shacklebolt. Sitting across from Sirius was Minerva McGonagall, one of Sirius’s former professors. She was reading her newspaper and by the looks of her face, she was absorbing all the information. Sirius noticed some people were talking in hushed reverent tones and others were reading their papers. It was a period of dark times and Sirius Black was in the middle of the chaos.

All Sirius wanted was his best friend, James Potter, beside him. Ever since James and his son and wife went into hiding in the Weasley home, Sirius’s contact with the Potters was nonexistent. The only time he had some sort of conversation with the Potters was when Arthur would give Sirius a letter from Lily and James. James wasn’t Sirius only friend, he technically had two other friends. One was by name the name of Remus Lupin and the other was Peter Pettigrew. Remus was mostly at the Order meetings but because he was a werewolf once a month he missed a meeting because it was the full moon. Today was one of those days, normally he and Remus would be talking about some serious issue or laughing remembering the days when life was simple. Peter Pettigrew became a sore topic to both Remus and Sirius as he was in Azkaban. Just six months earlier they realized Peter betrayed the Potters and everyone in the Order as he became a Death Eater. Immediately he was sent to Azkaban. After he was sent to Azkaban Sirius immediately told Dumbledore that he was an illegal amiganus and he could easily escape. Dumbledore fixed that problem quickly, but Sirius felt guilty spilling a secret they promised they would never tell anyone. But that was before all of this happened, before James went into hiding, before the order, before Peter became a death eater.

Sirius spotted Arthur from across the room, he waved the ginger man over so he could sit beside Sirius. Really, Arthur was now Sirius’s only friend aside from Remus Lupin. Sirius really didn’t remember Arthur Weasley when he went to Hogwarts, he knew that Arthur Weasley was head boy and that he was an excellent Quidditch player but that's about it. They were seven years apart and Sirius knew Arthur would never bat an eye about the first year when he was in seventh. But now, age didn’t matter. What mattered was the protection of the Potters and stopping the Dark Lord. Arthur shuffled through the crowd trying to grab a seat beside Sirius. Arthur managed to get a seat beside Sirius and the minute he sat down Dumbledore called the meeting to order. Sirius was disappointed as he wanted to talk to Arthur about the Potters and other things going on, but he knew that people had places to be and Dumbledore needed to assign missions to people.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming, we have a lot of information to share today so we must quickly get started.” Dumbledore boomed, grabbing everyone's attention, “so far we have managed to find three Horcruxes, but we have no idea on how to destroy them.” Everyone in the room started to whisper as Dumbledore announced they have found the items that would eventually lead to the death of the Dark Lord. Sirius didn’t know how to destroy the Horcruxes, neither did anyone else in the room. Before Dumbledore told the Order about Horcruxes he didn't know they even existed.

“If I may,” Horace Slughorn peeped in through all the whispers, “ the act of Horcruxes is extremely dark magic, a simple spell would not destroy the soul as well as the dark magic within it. We need something that would kill a human within seconds, or more like destroying the human within seconds.” When Slughorn was talking it reminded him of Lily Potter. She always loved potions class with Slughorn when they attended Hogwarts. Every lick of information he told the class she absorbed, she even knew things that sometimes Slughorn didn’t know or for any teacher of that matter. Sirius knew Lily would have some sort of an idea about how to destroy the Horcruxes. He would have to tell Arthur to ask Lily of what she thought about the issue.

“Sir,” Sirius started, “what are the Horcruxes you have at the moment?”

“We have a diary, a ring, and Helga Hufflepuff's cup. We tried to get Salazar Slytherin's locket but it turns out someone got it before us, they left a note within the false locket. Their initials were R.A.B.” Dumbledore explained to the group. But once Sirius heard the last few words of his sentence he stopped paying attention. Everyone started to talk again,moving on from the subject but all Sirius could think about was the initials and the locket.

“It’s my brother,” Sirius whispered under his breath, no one heard him or if they did they ignored Sirius.

“It’s my brother,” Sirius said once more, louder for the crown to hear. Everyone stopped talking and faced Sirius, “he is R.A.B, the locket must be within Grimmauld place.” Ever since his brother died he never really thought about him, he tried to ignore the fact his brother died because of the Dark Lord. But now he knew Regulus was trying to stop the Dark Lord, which gave Sirius some sort of comfort.

The meeting went on for another hour but the main conversation was talking about assignments to missions. So far Sirius was not sent on a mission ever since James went into hiding, most likely for safety issues. But today, he was assigned a mission.T o retrieve the locket from his parents old home. Sirius hadn’t been in his childhood home in years, he never planned on going back. But because his whole family was dead he was the heir of the home. Sirius knew he had to do this for the Potters and anyone else within the order. Sirius started to make a game plan within his head when Arthur tapped his shoulder.

“Lily wrote this letter for you, it's easier than me telling you everything,” Arthur explained to Sirius, immediately Sirius snatched the letter excited to finally have another way of contact with the Potters.

“Thank you, Arthur, tell Lily thank you. Also, could you tell her if she has any idea of how to destroy the Horcruxes?” Sirius told Arthur, “ and once again thank you.  Thank you for protecting my best friends, we owe you everything.”

‘It’s the least I can do, Sirius. Molly and I don’t mind. I will make sure I ask Lily, she may have an idea. But I should leave you to your letter.” Arthur replied, leaving Sirius with his letter. Sirius quickly opened the letter waiting to absorb all the words.

Sirius,

I believe it's much easier to write a letter then to tell Arthur everything so he can deliver it to you. Things get lost in translation and as well people forget.

You know that both James and I are bored out of our minds, we cannot leave past the backyard and as well we can’t have anyone from the outside world come and visit us. If we could, you and Remus would be at the top of our list. We miss you both so much, mostly James. Arthur is a very nice and James does like his company and hopefully, you do as well,  but I know it isn’t the same as both of you being with James. You two know everything about my husband, maybe more than I. You are more than best friends, you are more so like brothers. Hopefully, soon we can get back to life as normal as it was before.

Harry is as well growing, he is starting to put sentences together. Him and Ron talk constantly, it's mostly all babble but to them it's real. I can already tell they will be lifelong friends. Sometimes Harry asks about Uncle Moony and Padfoot, it breaks my heart to tell Harry that we can’t see them for a little bit. Harry doesn’t understand what we mean, but he misses you terribly.

Please tell Slughorn to make sure he adds a pinch of Sandroot within his potion to take away Peters ability to turn into a rat, I’ve been researching and I believe this will help. As well tell Dumbledore that all the Horcruxes will be objects and items with importance to the Dark Lord.

All the love,

Lily

Sirius’s eyes welled up as he read the letter, once he finished he started back at the top again. His heart ached to see the Potter's once more. It felt nice to have something Lily had touched and put her heart into, he could imagine her writing this letter sipping on some tea watching the children run wild. Sirius looked around the room to find either Dumbledore or Slughorn and he found them together talking. Sirius got up from his seat and slithered through the groups of people talking until he reached his past professors.

“Sorry to interrupt sirs, but I have important information that will benefit both of you.” Sirius told both the gentlemen, “Lily wrote me a letter, by the end she mentioned both of you.”

“What did she say?” Slughorn asked, with hope within his eyes.

“She said to tell you that adding a pinch of Sandwood to your potion will help.” Sirius informed Slughorn, then he turned to Dumbledore, “she also said that the Horcruxes will be something with sentiment to the Dark Lord.”

Sirius excused himself from the two men, then went to leave. He stuffed the letter within his bag then took a deep breath. Soon he would be entering his childhood home, but he needed to do this for the Potters. He needed to do it for humanity's sake.

[deathlyhogwarts]

hello, may i request a sirius black imagine? one where the reader is american and they meet after they've graduated from school when she comes to the UK to join the Order and help the cause against you know who? maybe when they first meet he's weary at first because she's AMERICAN but after a few missions he knows she's an amazing witch, totally badass, and starts falling for her. thank you for reading all of this !! :)

A/N: this is actually a very good request, thank you! sorry it took so long though, i’m very busy at the moment:) and i know Sirius’ parents most likely didn’t die when he was eighteen amd they didn’t use Grimmauld place then, but i just have to write this way to go with the imagine

word count: 3,055

masterlist

You tightened your grip on your coat, the cold London air embracing you as you walked down the street, to a place that apparently, you couldn’t see.

You were from America, fresh graduated from Ilvermorny and you wanted to become an Auror, but you weren’t sure where exactly you wanted to get the job. Only that changed, when Albus Dumbledore (you’ve heard of Dumbledore, everyone has heard of Dumbledore! How could you not? He was a very ‘popular’ wizard) reached out to you, asking you to join what they called The Order of The Phoenix, a secret organisation formed to defeat a certain evil wizard, Voldemort. You, of course, accepted, it was the closest thing of an Auror and you would even be travelling to the United Kingdom. It was something you have wished for a really long time and now that it was happening, you were a but anxious.

You were supposed to meet someone named Kingsley Shacklebolt at a bar named the Leaky Cauldron.

Now, you were right in front of it, but you weren’t sure whether you should enter or not. Deciding that he was probably inside, you enter and look around. You didn’t even know how he looked like, so you were just hoping that he knew what you looked like.

You sat at a table, somewhere between the middle and the corner; you didn’t want to drawn attention to yourself, but if Kingsley appeared, to see you.

After a couple of minutes of waiting, the door opens and a tall, black haired figure enters, searching with his eyes for someone. Once they land on you, he raises his eyebrows and makes his way over to you. Sitting opposite of you, he looks at you carefully.

“So, you’re the American witch?” he says, a tint of despise in his voice, looking up and down at you.

You look up and analise his appearance. He had long, black hair and grey eyes. He was pretty attractive, you had to admit, but something didn’t add up. “You’re Kingsley Shacklebolt? I thought he was supposed to be blackー”

“Well, I am Black. Sirius Black. But if we’re talking about skin, I’m white. Kingsley had other important business to do and they sent me to get the wonderful American witch,” he said the last part in a mocking voice.

You were taken aback by his words. Clearly, he didn’t like Americans in his heritage.

“What’s your name, by the way?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you said, looking at him carefully.

“Ah, typical American name,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well maybe because I’m from America?” you snap, annoyed by him. Not every English wizard was the best and not every American wizard was the worst.

“Whatever, let’s go. We won’t have time to look around, if you wanted to see what beautiful of a city we have.” He got up, motioning for you to do, too.

“Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t want to take from your precious time,” you answer back, rolling your eyes. You didn’t even arrived there and you were already being biased.

After Apparting where the organisation was, Sirius got out of his leather jacket a piece of paper and gave it to you. “From Dumbledore.”

You took it from his hand, your fingers brushed and you ignored the warmth from his hands and looked at the piece of paper. Number 12, Grimmauld Place. - Albus Dumbledore. After that, he tapped the ground a number of times, and the blocks in front of you separated, another appartment appearing between them.

He opened the door and let you go first, despite his horrible comportament and you entered, a long, slim with black walls hallway appears in front of your eyes. It had portraits all over, but covered. “It’s beautiful,” you find yourself saying.

“It’s my house,” he says from behind you.

“Oh,” you say, not really knowing how to feel about that.

After passing the long hallway, you arrive in front of a large black door, which was open, revealing what looked like a kitchen. You stop in front of it, not really sure what to do. You felt a bit uncomfortable, not knowing anyone here and Sirius’ behavior didn’t help you at all. It just made you feel you’re not welcome here. He passed you and entered the kitchen, but suddenly turned around and raised an eyebrow. “You coming, or what?”

“Yeah,” you say, walking behind him.

There was a really long table in the room, filled with people you didn’t recognise, except Dumbledore, who smiled warmly at you when he saw you. “Y/N, we meet at last.” He leans in to take you into a hug. “Everyone, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She came all the way from America to join us in The Order of The Pheonix. She is a wonderful and skillful witch,” he said to everyone and you blushed. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sirius roll his eyes.

You met a lot of people, such as Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon, James and Lily Potter, Peter Pettigrew and professors, too. Your favourite was Minerva McGonagall.

As they started talking, you sat down next to Remus Lupin (you hoped it was him, you were still getting used to all the faces). He turned to you and extended his hand. “I’m Remus,” he said.

“Y/N.” You shook his hand, smiling at him.

“Nice to meet you, I heard you’re amazing. Dumbledore wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

You blushed again. “He’s exaggerating, I’m just average,” you brushed it off.

“Why, if Dumbledore says you’re amazing we shall all listen to him, shouldn’t we?” Sirius appears in the seat next to you, an obnoxious smirk on his face.

“Do you have something against me, Sirius?” You frown.

“No, no, absolutely not. You’re just a wonderful, American witch, that’s all. Just praising you for that,” he says in a mocking voice.

“Padfoot,” Remus says in a warning tone. You didn’t ask, but by the looks of it, it seemed like Padfoot was Sirius’ nickname.

“What, Moony?” he snapped. “Everyone is obviously very fond of this girl and they didn’t even see her do anything. They’re just amazed that she is not english.” He rolls his grey eyes again.

You clench your jaw. “I’m a woman , not a girl.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he says, leaving you and Remus alone.

“I’m really sorry about him, he’s not usually like this. He probably has a bad dayー” Remus begins to apologise but you interrupt him.

“Or he just dislikes me for no reason? Don’t bother, I don’t care. I don’t need to prove myself in front of anyone but myself.” You smile at him.

“I truly hope he changes his opinion about you, he’s a good person, I promise.

“Well, we’ll see about that in time, won’t we?”

After a couple of hours, after Dumbledore explained to me everything that I need to know, we left for a mission against some people that call themselves Death Eaters.

You were seaparared in groups; you were with Marlene, someone named Fabian Prewett, although, you weren’t sure whether it was really him or his twin, Alice Longbottom and, surprisingly, Sirius Black.

All of you entered in an old, big house, where supposedly the Death Eaters were hiding an important item for Voldemort. Though, you didn’t know what it was yet. Fabian opened the door, and a large, long hall appeared in front of us. There was nothing there, nothing to guard the entrance at all. It seemed weird.

You started walkig forward, your wands in your hands, when the hall separated into four rooms. You looked at each other, knowing you should each go into one room.

However, those thoughts were interrupted when five snakes appeared before you, hissing loudly at you. None of you made a move, but they were reaching forward. “Alarte Ascendare!” you say, pointing your wand at the snakes.

“Alice took you by the arm. “Let’s go,” she said in your ear before all of you entered in one room. “Y/N, no one has used that spell before!” She looked at you amazed.

“I, uh… sorry?” you tried to say something. Was it bad that you used it?

“No, no, what she meant was that it was amazing! Good job, little one.” Fabian tapped your shoulder friendly. Him, Alice and Marlene weren’t the only ones that were amazed, but if you only looked in your left, you’d have seen Sirius blinking blankly in your direction, his mouth open slightly, not knowing if he should cogratulate you or make an obnoxious remark. He didn’t say anything.

“Now, I think we should separate. I go with Alice and Fabian, Sirius you go with Y/N,” Marlene says, taking Fabian and Alice by the arm. “If you need anything, just send your patronuses and we’ll catch up,” she said, and with that, they were gone. Out of all the people you could have been left with, you were with the one that couldn’t stand you.

“Great,” you murmur under your breath.

“What?” he asked, softer than he probably intended to.

“Well, you know, it’s not a very nice feeling to be stuck with someone who can’t stand you.” You roll your eyes.

He mumbled something you couldn’t understand, but you weren’t keen to find out what he said; you knew it was another insult thrown away at you.

“You walked for a bit in silenceーthe room turned out to be leading to another hall, so now you were walking shoulder by shoulder, wands tight in your hand and lighting.

“Did you hear that?” Sirius asked you.

“Hear what?” You frowned.

“Is your hearing that bad?” he said sarcastically.

I’m sorry I can’t pay attention to everything, unlike you, sublime God,” you mocked him.

“Well, I might not be as wise as a God, but I sure look like one,” he praised himself, a proud smile on his face, while running a hand through his black hair.

You were a bit distracted by his movement, seeing how his hair looked so soft and you found yourself thinking if it was indeed as soft as it looked. “Oh, sod off, you’re a selfish littleー”

But you weren’t able to continue, because two black hooded figures appeared in front of you. You assumed, by the creepy appearance and the weird vibe that they were the Death Eaters they were warning you about. Neither of you or them said anything, but they were quick at throwing spells at both of you. You tried to stun one of them, but he Apparated one foot away. The other one was duelling with Sirius, but after a few minutes he cast a spell at him, causing him to fall on the ground, blood spilling from his clothes. Your eyes widen in horror and you were able to stun one of them and transform the other one into a bird.

After you were done with the Death Eaters, you turned to Sirius, who lay on the ground covered in blood. You bent down next to him. “Sirius?” you asked, concerned. “Are you still here? Are you conscious?”

“Mhm,” he murmured with his eyes closed.

“Vulnera Sanentur,” you said quickly, pointing your wand at his wounds, them fading away one by one, until his body was like before. “Sirius? Can you hear me?”

“I’m not the one that has hearing problems, remember?” he smirked, briefly opening his eyes.

You lifted him up, his arm on your shoulders as you helped him walk. He wasn’t hurt anymore, but he was still weakened. You cast your patronus and sent it to the others, telling them that Sirius got hurt and that you were going back to Grimmauld place. Obviously, you didn’t wait for them and when you finally got out of that horrible house, you apparated to his house. He had to rest.

The next day, you didn’t go for breakfast in the kitchen. You decided to stay at Grimmauld place after they offered you a room, but you didn’t want to leave your room. You felt really… tired, to put it this way. You were really far from your country, from your friends, family… you needed time alone.

However, at breakfast, Sirius took a seat at the long table, searching with his eyes for a certain American, Y/H/C haired witch. When he didn’t find her, he turned to Marlene. “Where’s Y/N?” he asked, filling his mouth with all the food he could find. He was somehow a dog, actually.

“She hasn’t left her room yet. I don’t think she’s sleeping, though,” she answered, frowning. “Why? I thought you hated her.”

“I don’t hate her, I just despise that everyone thinks she is a miracle for us all.” Though, he didn’t mean any of that. Not anymore.

“Yeah, sure. You saw how good she was yesterday, she saved your arse. If it wasn’t for her, you’d be dead. You should be thankful,” she said.

Sirius did’t say anything after that, but after he finished eating, he headed upstairs, towards your room. He knew where it was; actually, he was the one that suggested you should stay, but of course, he didn’t tell you that face to face. He told Remus to do that for him, because he was ‘too weakened’ to talk to you.

He wanted to knock, but stopped with his hand midair. What was he going to say? Was there an excuse for being an asshole at all? He wasn’t even sure why he despised her a couple of hours ago. Maybe he just hated the thought that such a beautiful woman could be more skillful than him or his friends.

He knocked two times and after hearing your ‘come in’, he pushed the door carefully.

You were sitting on your bed, glasses on and a book in your hands. Your eyebrows turned into a frown at the sight of Sirius. What in the world could he possibly want? You thought that maybe saving his life would be enough to shut him up. But the expression on his face, soft and almost guilty, made your frown go away quickly. “What do you want, Sirius?”

He closed the door and walked closer. “Can I?” He pointed at your bed.

“It’s your house, do what you want,” you shrugged.

He frowned. “No, it’s your bed now, as long as you’ll be here. Can I?” he asked again, looking deep into your eyes.

His tone was very different than before, it wasn’t as obnoxious as yesterday and there wasn’t any tint of judgement in his voice. You nodded and he sat on the edge of the bed, still not breaking eye contact.

“I just wanted… I wanted to thank you, for saving me yesterday, for not letting me die,“ he found the words very hard to speak, as he usually wasn’t used to use such words.

“Oh, please, you weren’t going to die. Just a couple of rough wounds, but you wouldn’t have died ,” you say, matter of factly.

“Still, thank you. You could have just left me there, after I was such an asshole to you,” he said as he chewed down on his bottom lip. “I understimated you, I admit. You’re pretty good.” He let a small smile appear on his beautiful face.

“Pretty good?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Why, thank you. You’re not really bad yourself.” You smirked. “And it’s okay, I forgive you. I wouldn’t have let you sit there in pain, no matter how much of an asshole you were; I’m not like that.”

He looked at you amazed, now seeing what everyone was seeing in you. You were truly beautiful and he wanted to punch himself for not seeing this sooner, as he was blinded by hatred. However, the first time he saw you, he obviously observed you were really attractive. But now, it was much more than that. He found himself moving his gaze towards your lips, wanting to kiss you. He knew it wasn’t right, he needed to give you time, the boy practically went from hating to fancying you in twenty four hours.

“So… peace?” you asked, noticing how his eyes were looking at your lips. Yours were too.

His eyes found their way back to yours and he smirked. “Peace. Only, if you go on a date with me.”

“Oh, well, then I guess we don’t make peace,” you said fakingly sad, sighing dramatically.

He was taken aback, before he caught on what you were doing. “Fine then, peace.” He smiled cheekily. “Will you go on a date with me, wonderful American witch?”

“Only if you stop calling me that,” you laughed.

“Deal,” he said. “It’s a date then! Meet me in the hall at eight o'clock, darling,” he said briskly, wanting to get up from the bed.

“Sirius, wait!” you call after him. He stops at the door. You get up from your bed and run at him, getting on your tip toes and kiss him on the cheek. “I’m gonna go eat breakfast now,” you said and with that, you were out of the room.

He remained there for a bit, his hand reaching to his cheek, in the place where you kissed him. He smiled to himself and then closed the door silently, as he went back to the kitchen. It won’t make him any damage to eat breakfast twice.

[maraudersmessrs]

‘Make out with me’ prompt continuation for @japanjuly44

Thanks for wanting more! I’ll finish up the scene later, but here’s the followup from the last bit

---

Sirius’ hands tightened on his book at as he heard the door groan and soft voices of Remus and Kingsley from the foyer. He had left the meeting early after his...admission, begging ill effects from the Imperius Curse and managed to sulk home before either of them.

 It was still strange to be in Kingsley’s mansion, just the 3 of them. Growing up, Grimmauld Place had always been a revolving door of Ministry officials, Death Eaters, and pure-blood socialites meeting with his parents, not to mention the army of house elves for the place--so the echoing silence now was unnerving. In the wake of the beginning war and their graduation from Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius found themselves essentially homeless. James and Lily often bemoaned the size of their house, as they had no room for them and Peter had inherited his mother’s 1 bedroom cottage after she had fled to some other, less tumultuous country. 

And, unfortunately, being an underground guerrilla rebellion at once didn’t pay well, nor give very flexible hours for side jobs. So, no income, no home, no plans. Kingsley had been kind enough to invite them into his place once Sirius had worried aloud at an Order meeting soon after graduation, which he took as a sign to gloat to Moony that complaining did help things. It had been a life saving, stress relieving haven when they had walked in for the first time.

 Now, it just felt like a warren tempting him to try and hide from the inevitable agonizingly uncomfortable conversation Remus would want to have following his brazen announcement. ‘Make out with me’. Kill me, Sirius tried to telepathically project into his book. Papercut me to death, I think it would be less painful than what’s coming. 

Footsteps came into the kitchen. It was Moony, though Sirius couldn’t say how exactly he knew that and he held his breath as the footsteps moved over to him. In front of him. Stopped. He heard Remus take in breath to speak and mentally braced himself with a wince.

“We’re out of bread, after this piece. Are you going to run to the store tomorrow, or shall I? Kingsley has patrol.”

It took Sirius a moment to process exactly what had been said and when he did, he blinked at Remus, book drifting down to the counter. “What?”

Remus held up a piece of bread, wafting it’s yeasty goodness over to Sirius, reminding him how long ago lunch had been. “This. Last piece. You get more? Or me?”

The mental whiplash of the prepared awkward confession/rejection scenario he had been bracing for being whisked away in favor of this grocery shopping banality literally left him unable to do anything but stare for a few moments. Remus blinked back at him in seemingly mild bemusement, bread still held aloft between them. 

“Ah...I...I can, I suppose.”

“Alright, good. I have a night scouting mission tomorrow and I wanted to sleep in.” And then, he began puttering around the kitchen, making himself what seemed to be a completely normal piece of toast. Which Sirius thought was just absurd.

“...Erm...did I miss anything? The rest of the meeting, I mean?”

“Not really. More constant vigilance, more scheduling, more death announcements.” He gave a subdued shrug. “The usual. I brought a copy for you, it’s in your coat.”

“...Ah.”

Was he...was he pranking him? There was no way he could have misheard what he gathered has been a perky rambling of the virtues of Remus’ mouth, hair, complexion, and kissability, which made heat flush from his hairline to his shoulders in stark embarrassment. He had very clearly admitted he was thinking about kissing Remus. Remus had been there. Sirius had, in fact, been looking at Remus at the time. He had turned a very fetching shade of pink. 

But here he was...conversing. Not even awkward or reluctant or self conscious. 

And this continued to the next day. And the next. Sirius would have been relieved and thrilled if he wasn’t feeling the pinch of rejection. Surely, Remus took him seriously enough to think he warranted a talking to? Not just a let down by ignoring? Sirius was becoming irritated.

It was a full week before he confronted Remus in the sitting room, unable to wait anymore. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The little shit slowly looked up from his book, to his lap blanket, the side table lamp, his book, then back to Sirius before saying, “...Reading?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Um....”

“Why are you ignoring  me?”

Remus squinted at him through his reading glasses--his stupid, sexy reading glasses that Sirius would have to do his best to ignore during this serious conversation. “I don’t know what you want from me, Padfoot, I’m talking to you right now.”

Sirius ground his teeth, steeled himself, and dove in. “Do you honestly think what I said isn’t worth talking about?”

[littleoldrachel]

Third chapter is up!  Read it here on ao3, or here on ff.net, or under the cut.

100 Ways to Say I Love You

Summary: In which actions speak louder than words, Sirius and Remus sort of fall in to a relationship, and even though neither of them have said those three all-important words, they both know it anyway.Or: 100 Ways to Say I Love You by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Previous |  chapter 3/100 - “No, no it’s my treat.” | Next

Based on this post by p0ck3tf0x

Tw for detailed description of a panic attack, references to awful parenting, anxiety, brief mentions of insecurity regarding weight/weight issues.

3. “No, no, it’s my treat.”

Two weeks later finds them all at the bar where Remus works – The Leaky Cauldron is filthy, dingy, and has a dodgy reputation for letting underage people drink there, but the drinks are cheap and the music is good, and it’s where they’ve been meeting since sixth form. Remus has worked there for a good few years now, and the owner, known only as ‘Tom,’ trusts him enough that he turns a blind eye to Remus giving his mates free drinks and spending most of his shift at their end of the bar.

Remus is feeling a little better this week – at least in terms of pain, it’s reduced to his usual neck, back and shoulder aches, mild muscle stiffness, and a low-grade headache. He’s down on spoons, but he always is after a flare, especially since he’s got to catch up on the work he’s now behind on in both of his jobs. At least with the pub that just means picking up more shifts – at the publishing company, Flourish and Blotts, he’s somehow got to squeeze a month’s worth of work in to the next fortnight. (He’ll figure it out, he always does, but he’s just bone-tired, and so frustrated knowing that even getting a decent night’s sleep won’t help).

He wipes down the counter, where a regular’s drunkenly sloshing his beer around, and sighs when he realises who it is, feeling anxiety coiling in his stomach. “Mr Filch, I’m going to have to cut you off now,” he says, as politely as he can when he knows Filch is about to hurl abuse his way. His voice doesn’t tremble, even though he feels like a gust of wind would make him shatter.

Tom materialises at Remus’ shoulder, as Filch is spouting particularly creative profanities at him and he’s just frozen, and claps a hand to his back. “Go’on now, lad. I’ll ‘andle this.”

Remus gratefully moves away from Filch, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. One would think that after years of working in retail and hospitality, he’d be better at dealing with unpleasant people by now, but every time it leaves him a little shaky and panicky inside. He moves back towards where his friends are, stopping only to refill a customer’s whiskey, and immediately meets Sirius’ eyes.

“Alright?” Sirius asks, glancing between him and Filch, concern clear in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Remus mumbles, if he says it enough, it has to be true.

Sirius clearly doesn’t believe him, but he distracts him by asking about Winky, and before Remus knows it, the awful, cold anxiousness in his chest has been replaced by a warm, happy glow as he recounts how Winky shit in her litter tray for the first time the night before, rather than around it. (Watching the way Sirius’ face shifts and catches the light makes him feel close to shattering too, but it’s different; it’s comfortable and safe and soft, knowing that Sirius could put him back together again).

Photos of Winky staring bemusedly at the scratching post Sirius had bought around at the weekend, of her curled up in Remus’ lap with him watching her like a proud parent, of her hiding in one of Sirius’ Doc Martens, circulate the group, which consists of Sirius and Remus, Lily and James, Kingsley, Alice and Frank. Peter turns up minutes later, and James holds a speedy sign-conversation with him to catch him up on everything he’s missed.

“Now that we’re all here,” James says, when they’ve all got drinks and Remus is on a short break (Lily takes over signing from James; Peter can lip-read well, but he prefers to sign, and he has no hope of hearing them over the sounds of a busy bar), “I’ve got an important announcement.”

He looks over at Lily, his gaze going soft and lovesick, the same way it has every time he’s looked at her, for the past seven years. “As you know, Lily and I are getting married next year.” There’s a brief pause as several of them make whooping noises, James leans over to press a kiss to Lily’s cheek, and Lily blushes pinker than Peter’s hair. The two of them share one of their secret telepathic glances, and then Lily takes a breath.

“Alice, I want you to be my bridesmaid. You’re so special to me-“

She’s abruptly cut off by Alice’s squawk, as she flings herself at Lily, chanting “yes, yes, yes.” The two of them collide in a cuddle, and they’re both laughing, Alice wiping tears from her eyes, and clutching her hijab so it stays in place.

James clears his throat. “And, this will probably come as a surprise to nobody, but,” he turns to Sirius. “Padfoot, I-“ his voice cracks a little, “Sirius. You’re my best mate, and the most important person in my life… Be my best man?”

Remus, along with everybody else, turns to Sirius expectantly. It’s not like any of them think that Sirius is going to turn him down after all; everybody knows how much Sirius and James love each other – it’s a bond that Remus struggles not to be jealous of – after all Sirius deserves only Good Things, and James is nothing but loving and giving in his friendships. (It’s still a little hard being an outsider though, what with how well Sirius slots in to James’ family, how they can hold entire conversations without saying a word).

But-

Sirius isn’t looking pleased, or touched, or anything at all. His face is fixed on James’, and Remus swears he’s not breathing as he stares at him, his fingers shaking, despite his grip on his glass. Then suddenly, without warning, he’s left his seat, streaking out of the door, and James makes to go after him, looking horrified.

Nobody says a word – James is frozen half out of his seat, staring after where Sirius had dashed off to, and even though the rest of the bar is still noisy with chatter, glasses clanking, and acoustic guitar, within their group it’s utterly silent.

“Well, that was awkward,” Peter says at last, a little loud and thick, but it breaks the tension, and spurs everyone in to movement once more.

“I should go after him,” mumbles James, sliding out of his seat, but Remus stops him.

“Let me, Prongs,” he says quietly, trying to avoid attracting everyone’s attention. James studies him briefly, then sighs and nods.

“Bring him back, Moony,” James murmurs softly, crushing Remus briefly to his chest, and then he propels him in the direction Sirius had run off in.

*~*~*~*

It’s not difficult to locate him. To his left, there’s a cluster of smokers, forced outside by their habit; to his right, the collection of tables full of people enjoying the late summer air. Sirius would have wanted to get away from people, and so Remus heads left, past the smokers, rounding the corner where they keep the bins, and sure enough-

Sirius is huddled against the wall, heaving for breath, his head between his knees. His whole body trembles, and even when Remus kneels down and takes one of his hands, he doesn’t react to the contact.  

“Padfoot,” Remus says softly, and Sirius’ head snaps up, but his eyes are glassy and leaking, like he’s not really seeing Remus. He’s straining for breath, shaking, crying, choking – and Remus snaps in to action. “Padfoot – Padfoot.” He presses his palm against Sirius’ face, trying to ignore the self-doubt that’s screaming at him that James would be a thousand times better at this.

He pulls Sirius in to him, and Sirius goes, falling against his chest. He’s bizarrely tense and limp at the same time, and Remus begins taking exaggerated breaths, positioning himself so that Sirius’ ear is against his heart. (He’s painfully aware that his heart is pounding; he’s so afraid of fucking this up, Sirius is everything, and Remus is nothing-). He counts under his breath, murmurs reassurances every now and then, rubs up and down Sirius’ limbs, and slowly – slowly – he hears Sirius’ breathing start to regulate again.

“Moony –“ Sirius gasps out suddenly, and Remus jerks in surprise. “Moony, I can’t feel my fingers,” he says urgently.

Remus takes them, and begins massaging them between his hands. He knows it won’t do any good, but he also needs to feel useful in some way. “They’re still there, Pads, see? The feeling will come back, you know this doesn’t last forever.”

Sirius makes a whining noise, pressing his face in to Remus’ belly, his breathing turning a little erratic. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” Remus’ heart lurches as he lets the term of endearment slip out, but thankfully Sirius doesn’t comment on it.

They sit quietly, next to the recycling bin. The noises of the pub are muffled from this side of the building, the clanking in the kitchen faint, and even the smell of cigarette smoke can’t reach them here. It’s their own private bubble, and Remus loses all track of time (Tom will be annoyed, his ‘short break’ is probably three times longer than it should have been). When Sirius eventually raises his head, wiping tear-streaked cheeks on the tissue Remus offers, he too seems loathe to disturb the silence. Instead he picks at Remus’ shirt – at where he’s snotted and dribbled and sobbed all over it, and when he finally speaks, he says, only a little shakily, “I’m sorry about your shirt.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Remus says, waving a hand at it. Sirius looks at him for a long moment, and then leans back in to the hug, and Remus wraps his arms around Sirius again. There’s a pause, and Remus feels a little sick with worry at what he has to ask next. “Um, Padfoot. What – what caused this? If you know – there doesn’t have to be a reason, you don’t have to tell me-“ He cuts himself off before he works himself in to a panic, and looks down at the top of Sirius’ head.

Sirius has tensed up in his arms, his hands clenching in to fists in Remus’ shirt. There’s a long pause – this one far less comfortable than before. Remus’ anxiety uncoils itself in his stomach, slithering up through his chest, his throat – he’s ruined everything –

“Prongs is-“ Sirius starts, then takes a deep shaky breath, swiping angrily at his eyes again. Remus swallows, choking the anxiety back down in order to give Sirius his full attention. He gives him a gentle squeeze, and Sirius restarts. “Prongs is my everything, and – his family are my family. They -they – they m-mean s-s-s-s-so-“

“Breathe, sweetheart,” mumbles Remus, and Sirius obediently sucks in a noisy breath, releasing it too quickly.

“They’ve always looked after me, and took me in, even though they d-didn’t have to. They’ve been more of a family than my own were – I’m – Prongs is my best friend, and I know he loves Lily, and I love her too, and I just want him to be happy, but if they get married, they’ll want to start a family, they’ve move out, and l-leave me, and I can’t lose him, Moony – I can’t take it, I can’t let him leave me alone again-“ His voice cracks, and he lets out another sob, pressing his face against Remus’ chest. Remus can only tighten his grip, a painful lump in his throat because he can’t fix this. This is between James and Sirius, and Remus can’t do a thing to help.

(Useless, pointless, waste of space-)

“Padfoot, no, this isn’t – you aren’t going to lose him.” The words tumble out, inarticulate but heartfelt, because Remus would do anything to make this right, anything to make sure that Sirius knows the truth. “Prongs adores you – you’re the centre of his world, and he loves Lily, but he loves you too. I – just because he’s getting married, it doesn’t make you any less important in his life.”

Sirius shakes his head a little, but his tears have slowed, and he’s listening through his sobs.

Remus bites his lip, “have you told Prongs that this is how you feel?”

Sirius hesitates, then shakes his head, “I don’t know how to say – he’ll think I’m so selfish –“

“No,” says Remus, surer now. “He will not, and you know it. You should tell him.” Sirius nods slowly, his breathing raggedy, but slower. “And maybe talk to your therapist? I don’t-“ The uncertainty comes creeping back, but he ploughs on anyway. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. But even if Prongs and Lily move out, even if things change, you won’t be alone. You’ve got all of us, for what it’s worth, you’ve got me.”

“It’s worth more than you know,” whispers Sirius, and the tears that have been lurking behind Remus’ eyes for the last hour finally spill over his lashes, as his heart clenches tightly. He laughs a little shakily, and shifts Sirius in to a different position on his lap. Sirius wipes his eyes again slowly, blows his nose, and then tries for a wobbly smile. Remus smiles back at him (of course he does, he always smiles back at Sirius, it’s an automatic reaction by now).

“And besides, you’ll make the best best man there ever was,” Remus says softly, and Sirius gives a watery chuckle.

“You know it.”

“Ready to head back in?”

Sirius reaches for Remus’ hand, lacing their fingers together, and takes a few deep breaths. “Give me a minute.”

“Sure,” Remus settles back against the wall, allowing Sirius to curl in to him once more. His shirt is sticky and damp and cool against his skin, clinging to his curves in what is surely an unattractive way. His muscles are aching and cramped from sitting on the ground for so long, and his eyes are itching with tiredness. But Sirius is okay – or at least he will be once he and James have communicated properly – and that’s what is important.

*~*~*~*

Sirius barely pauses as he bounds back towards the group. “What are we discussing?” he says, with more bravado than Remus knows he’s feeling, slinging one arm around James’ shoulders. James glances at him, and there’s a silent communication that they’ll discuss this later – are you okay – I’m sorry – I love you and I’m worried about you, before they turn back to the group.

“Fuckin’ Faceswap and Snapchat filters. They never find my fuckin’ face, they’re made for fuckin’ white people,” Frank tell him.

“Preach,” James says, lifting his mocktail.

“And that one that makes you look ‘pretty,’” seethes Alice. “Aka, makes you look like a white person. It’s gross.”

Sirius pouts, his love for Snapchat is no secret – each of them wake up to at least four snaps of him with various filters on every day – but unfortunately, Remus doesn’t get to hear any more, because Tom claps a hand on his shoulder, dragging him away with a stern expression.

“I’m sorry – I can explain –“ Remus begins, the anxiety flooding back so quickly, he thinks he’ll be sick with it, but Tom cuts him off sharply.

“He alright?” he jerks his head at Sirius.

Remus nods slowly, and Tom studies him carefully. Remus breathes deeply, fighting the rising nausea. “Don’t do it again without telling me,” he says eventually, waving a hand to dismiss Remus, and Remus stares, feeling that awful combination of relief and adrenalin that always leaves him a bit shaky. Tom quirks an eyebrow at him. “Go’on, get out. Your shift’s over, you know?”

“Moony!” James is leaning over the bar, and he turns. “We’re heading out, you coming?”

Outside the pub, there’s the usual kerfuffle as everyone hugs everyone else, and it’s still a good twenty minutes before they all head their separate ways. Remus hangs back a little, chatting with Alice, and so he’s surprised when Sirius approaches him, not having left with James and Lily.

“So. Can I interest you in an ice cream?” Sirius asks with an almost self-conscious grin.

Remus laughs, “it’s almost one in the morning, Pads.”

Sirius loops his arm through Remus’, waving cheerily at Alice and Frank, and begins leading him away. “That never stopped us in uni, Moonbeam.”

“True,” Remus can’t fight the grin as he remembers the midnight runs to the local ice cream parlour every time an essay was being particularly troublesome, or when one of them was stressed or sad. Ice cream solved everything, and Remus can guess exactly why Sirius is craving it tonight.

“So, ice cream, yes?”

“I shouldn’t,” Remus says ruefully, sucking in his belly almost unconsciously, and crossing his arms over it. “I’m supposed to be on a diet.”

“What?! Since when?” Sirius looks appalled, and Remus wants to laugh at his defensiveness – he would if it didn’t mean the world, if didn’t warm the iciness of that particular insecurity.

“Since my doctor started nagging at me again. There’re all these studies that link obesity to fibro symptoms getting worse.”

Sirius frowns. “But you’re not obese. You’re just…”

“Overweight.”

“I was going to say chubby,” Sirius says, “and you are adorable and perfect the way you are-“

Remus rolls his eyes. “I don’t need the positive affirmation, Padfoot, you tell me regularly enough as it is.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Sirius sticks his tongue out at Remus, because he is an Actual Child, and says, “we’ll get fucking sorbets then. They’re low calorie.”

“Deal.”

(Sirius absolutely does not get a sorbet – he orders the double-chocolate-fudge ice cream sundae that he knows Remus adores, watches Remus pick miserably at his raspberry sorbet for a few minutes – “why on Earth did you pick raspberry, you don’t even like raspberry?” – before he caves and steals Sirius’ ice cream. Remus can’t hide the toothy, child-like grin on his face at the familiarity of it all, at the comfort, and Sirius beams back at him, and everything is wonderful).

They talk and talk, and eat way more ice cream than they should, and stay up far too late for adults-who-have-work-in-the-morning, but Remus also never wants it to end. It’s like the university days when Sirius would come and drag Remus out of the library at god-knows-o-clock, and just chat to him to distract him from his crippling fear of failure. It’s comfortable and safe and warms Remus’ heart more than good central heating ever could.

When they finally leave, Sirius has an arm around Remus’ waist, and Remus knows that this is just how Sirius is – he’s tactile and loving and gentle – but it feels like so much more, like something has shifted between them. He doesn’t remove his hand as they go to pay-

“No, no, it’s my treat,” Sirius gently pushes Remus’ handful of change out of the way, and produces his own cash. “This is my hard-earned dollar, and I talked you in to this.”

“’Dollar?’” snorts Remus, focusing on Sirius’ dorkiness so that he doesn’t have to think about how close this is to a date, how much they’re blurring that line-

“I am hip, Remus, I know all the lingo,” Sirius says proudly, keeping a straight face for all of three seconds before he laughs.

There’s a lightness in Remus’ chest as he leaves Sirius at the halfway point between their houses – it’s a lightness that is so rare these days, but it fills his entire body, a warm glow resting in his heart. And Remus knows that this cannot last – Sirius is not meant for him, he is worth so much more, but god he is going to enjoy it whilst he can.