#Shen Qingqiu is definitely straight

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 17

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's been a weekend!

I went to a wedding this weekend and my partner and I were on toddler babysitting duty. I naively thought I would be able to read a few chapters, but babies move fast yall. This was the only chapter I was able to read the entire time we were away.

I didn't even have a hot drink when I read it :'( But I did have this baby claim my lap (meet Winston).

Anyways- let's get into the chapter!!

ofc we start off this chapter with him waking up yet again with Tianlang-Jun. p113

Oh god, wait is the army marching to get rid of the sects with SQQ in their presence? Is this another way to frame SQQ?? Why would he just be with this army? p113

oh fuck, SQQ's arm. That's so rough oh no, the flowers really are growing. p114

and the means to take care of it is equally terrible. he has to BURN IT OFF. p115

Why is Luo Binghe's dad like this LOOOOL Him asking if SQQ fucked (Dual cultivated with) his son. pp116-117

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL Tianlang-jun humming the epic love ballad to SQQ. this man really is shipping these two hard. What a total weirdo (in the best of ways). p117

wait. he wants to MERGE two realms? How tf do you even do that? wouldnt that like fuck with spacetime or something? p119

Oof what a horrible sounding relationship that was between Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan. I hope we learn more about these two because it is really a bizarre dynamic they had. I feel like this guy just fetishizes humans p121

ooo! How did Luo Binghe arrive here? bro just shows up in the middle of a war camp. is it a dream? Either way LOL we have yet another absolutely wild kiss pp122-123

AND THEN SQQ not even being mad about Luo Binghe force kissing him- instead being mad that Luo Binghe gave Tianlang-jun Xin Mo LOL p123

Why is Luo Binghe so stupid XD not a thought in that boys head about consequences or anything. Like my dude, there is about to be an entire war and you seem to not give a shit. pp124-125

RIP hahahahaha hiding luo binghe in his bed p125

and Luo Binghe being Big Mad about ZZL "coming in while Shizun is sleeping" p125

NOT THE MISUNDERSTANDING. "we agreed on this" " agreed on what??" p126

OMG this scene is an entire comedy of errors LOL we have SQQ sitting on Luo Binghe on his bed with ZZL there. p129

OMG NOW TIANLANG-JUN IS THERE. He thinks ZZL and SQQ are fucking but that SQQ is also fucking his son. This guy must fully think SQQ is the biggest man whore. p131

AND NOW HE'S IN THE CUCK CHAIR BYE. "I don't mind, continue." p133

Tianlang-jun is having an entire conversation with SQQ while Luo Binghe is hidden beside/underneath just trying not to murder Zhuzhi-lang. p134 This is WILD.

Liu Qingge is actually going to get himself killed at this rate. He couldn't beat Luo Binghe the lesser demon, and here he is openly challenging Tianlang-jun. p136

oh no! so it was zhuzhi-lang who killed Gongyi Xiao :( p142

Liu Qingge "are you together?" SQQ: "it's complicated" p144

Wait- what's wrong with Luo Binghe? pp149-150

oh god. is Liu Qingge concerned for SQQ's virtue XD Is this going to be another "SQQ is a slut" rumour- like is someone going to see the three of them go into a room together? Though I am here for the SQQ is not actually a hoe but becomes the universes biggest rumoured hoe agenda. p152

Luo Binghe- I'm paying and - oh no- I only have enough for 2 rooms p153

SQQ forcing the two of them to have a room together while he takes his own. Just totally leaving them to fight one another about it XD p154

"Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight!" p155 okay buddy I believe you

SO many notifications form the system! threshold exceeded for satisfaction points, "high energy ahead", satisfaction point report monthly (LOL I presume he is going to have one hell of a shock when he sees). pp156-157

Knock Knock Knock

WHO IS IT THO?

[a-fire-that-isnt-burning]

yeah I have no idea WHAT he was thinking so your guess is as good as mine

Haven't actually read scum villain yet but i'm pretty sure this is sqq.

Friends who have read svsss please weigh in.

[bambooswordwielder]

Obsessed with the fact that Shen Yuan only transmigrates when all the Peaklords have settled into their positions for a few years because the idea of Shang Qinghua being stuck watching Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge arguing for nth time about some budget detail that is DEFINITELY getting overblown now and just being stuck thinking

"Damn this would've been such a good enemies to lovers plot line... Imagine how much I could've made off of them..." and regretting not monetising their rivalry more before he killed off Liu Qingge ( "Oh and the angst Shen Qingqiu would've faced after his secret lover died and everyone blamed him for it! Fans would've been begging for more extras!" 🐹💔)

Like all the peaklords are desperately trying to mediate and fix the situation and Shang Qinghua is just imagining his one hundredth Fix-It Fic/AU where Shen Jiu is the King's trusted scholar and Liu Qingge is the King's personal bodyguard

Everyone thinks when a single tear falls from Shang Qinghua's eyes its because during Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu's fight they destroyed both his newly drafted budget (for the fifth time that month) and the fact they also destroyed the table (for the third time that week and the week just started)

Reality is Shang Qinghua is crying because he thought of an angsty death scene for the two Romeo and Juliet style because both their families couldn't accept them being together

Years of this pass and at some point he even picks up writing again (specifically about characters clearly based on Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge) and he gets really popular, popular enough his novels start to flood all of Cang Qiong and even Liu Mingyan takes some inspiration from them

Everyone knows damn well that the characters are clearly meant to be Peaklord Shen and Peaklord Liu, but no one tells because they all are legitimately waiting for the next volume of "Battle-to-your-poisonous-heart-and-peaches"

Does everyone know it's Shang Qinghua... Noooo.. Would anyone admit if they did know.... No.

Then all the sudden on day Shen Qingqiu suddenly looked in the dictionary and discovered what the word 'nice' is and now he doesn't abuse his students 🐹🤯

He even let himself get poisoned and potentially ruined his cultivation for life for Luo Binghe of all people!? Um excuse Airplane Logic, but the MC is supposed to only get all the good stuff AFTER he falls into the abyss!

And what's this about Liu Qingge helping to 'clear' his meridians so he has to personally visit Qing Jing peak every week?? Def something is off, an author knows fishy when he sees it

For how many years Shang Qinghua is stuck watching these two do their whole "You're my precious Shidi" and "I'll always be here for you" act and he's just stuck eating dogfood wondering when exactly is the marriage extra coming in and why the System won't tell me why Shen Qingqiu is acting all happy go lucky now

Shang Qinghua notices Shen Qingqiu talking to Yue Qingyuan more, he notices Qing Jing disciples running straight to Shen Qingqiu with joy and excitement rather than the reserved fear they had before, he notices how Shen Qingqiu only glares at him twice every meeting than before!

Maybe this isn't his version of PIDW, maybe it's a fan made version where Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu fall in love and with the power of love and friendship Shen Qingqiu learns to be kind and to care and isn't going to cause Luo Binghe to go down his dark path and maybe they can all have a happyily ever after—

*Endless Abyss Arc*

"Oh fuck–"

[Before Endless Abyss Arc]

*Shang Qinghua watching from a distance as Luo Binghe is practically clinging to Shen Qingqiu's side. Shen Qingqiu pats Luo Binghe's head and Luo Binghe does THAT smile he only does for his wives*

"Well this is an interesting fanfic..."

[After Airplane Reveal]

"Wait... So you're actually a transmigrater as well, Cucumber-Bro?"

"Yeah, and?"

"..."

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Do you hate, or have you at least at some point hated, Liu Qingge?"

"I– No–Wait what???"

"Let me reword it. Have you ever considered murdering him at one point?"

"WHYAREYOUASKINGMETHESEQUESTIONS!? YOUKNOWWHATHAPPENEDTOSHENJIU! IMNOTRISKINGHISFATE!"

"... So I'll take that as a no."

"OBVIOUSLY!?"

"So it's just a normal Friends to lovers 😮‍💨 No flavour 🙄"

Shang Qinghua was then brutally attacked.

[During the Five Years SY was dead]

*Shang Qinghua watching Liu Qingge go every single day to fight Luo Binghe for Shen Qingqiu's body*

"Oh my Airplane.... It's not a enemies-to-lovers... It's not Teacher X Disciple... It's a bloody love triangle with both! Oh how much money this plot would've made me 💔 I would've been able to pay for four months worth of rent and groceries!"

Random Disciple visiting An Ding: "Um.... Is Shang-Shibo okay? He fell on the ground?"

An Ding Disciple: "Leave him. He does that sometimes. Now about your budget request..."

*Shang Qinghua screaming in the background*

Random Disciple: "..."

An Ding Disciple: "..."

Random Disciple: "Should we check on–"

An Ding Disciple, now dragging other disciple away: "Let's settle this at your peak."

Years later when Bingqiu have already had their wedding and everyone has become somewhat tolerant of their relationship, Shang Qinghua just sighs loudly and Shen Yuan asks him what's up. Shang Qinghua looks him in the eyes and just shakes his head.

"My ship...💔"

"..."

"OW– Why did you have go hit me on the head!?"

"Because I don't want to know what's going on in there and I need to make sure what's in there stays in there."

[amutamika]

"We've been dating for 6 years."

No one can convince me that Mobei Jun wasn't sure that he is dating Shang Qinghua, while the latter never even caught on to Mobei Jun's feelings for him.

Like... Mobei Jun always suspected something. And it became abundantly clear to him when Shang Qinghua explained that someone acts pathetic and weak to get the attention of a 'straight man'. Like, he even asked again to be sure. Shang Qinghua though never thought about the implications this would bring. That guy has been crawling before Mobei Jun since the beginning. Nevermind all the crying and begging. So no wonder Mobei Jun - knowing jack shit about human courting or courting in general for that matter - just assumes that Shang Qinghua must have been flirting all the time. ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

His hypothesis even gets proven when Mister double agent saves Mobei Jun from falling at the boss battle. That's the reason Mobei Jun takes this idiot with him when his father died. Just to hear that Shang Qinghua wants to leave?! Like, he brought him to meet his (dead) dad and that guy breaks up with him. Just to come back and save him again? Shang Qinghua almost gets killed here.

All the while Shang Qinghua is not an ounce wiser. Yes, Mister Ice Prince has gotten nicer. But what's there to it? He saves him, even after cursing him out. But that's just because he wants his loyal servant back, right? It doesn't help that Master Airplane shooting towards the Sky hasn't had any dating experience either. Especially not with someone so emotionally stunned like Mobei Jun.

And so Mobei thinks they are definitely a thing. He even celebrates their anniversary. Never kisses Shang Qinghua because he always looks annoyed when Luo Binghe talks about how good of a kisser Shen Qingqiu is. So he just assumes that his idiot doesn't like kisses. Meanwhile Shang Qinghua is seething because how has he been isekaid into his own novel without even getting laid??

The whole thing comes out when Luo Binghe finally asks when those two will finally marry each other. Following Shang Qinghua denying that they even are in a relationship and Mobei Jun stating that he is unsure if 6 years (random number, don't come for me) of a relationship is enough to get married.

[drawing-write]

SVSSS Fanfic idea

I came up with idea like, two years ago inside of a friend’s Discord DMs, so- All of the following is literally just me quoting younger me:

———

I HaVE THIS IDEA FOR A CRACK- TREATED-SERIOUSLY, SORTA ANGSTY MISUNDERSTANDING-FILLED FIC

So, imagine this, right?

OG!Shen Qingqiu finds a baby, the baby is Shen Yuan who reincarnated with the system. OG!SQ is straight up like,

"wtf, who left a baby here"

And there's a little note that says, “This child's name is Shen Yuan, please care for him." and Shen Qingqiu is a bit confused about them sharing last names, but waves it off as a coincidence. Though the baby looks a little bit like him, he's never had a child before. He takes the baby down to the brothel to give to the prostitutes there because he's sure that they'd treat the baby better than him.

But once he gets there and tries to hand the baby off after saying the baby's name, the girl's misunderstand that the baby is biologically OG!SQ's child and ask OG!SQ why he would want to abandon the child. He says the child has already been abandoned and he can't care for them because he wouldn't do good raising the baby.

The girls think the woman who birthed the child abandoned both OG!SQ and SY, so the girls feel sympathetic, but still persaude OG!SQ to keep SY. He can't refuse under their insistence and ends up letting the girls feed SY before going back up to his peak.

SQQ keeps trying to awkwardly raise the baby SY without letting his fellow Peak Lords or Disciples know.

Through a series of events, Shang Qinghua finds out and happily volunteers to be the uncle after a short freak out and being death threatened by SQQ.

So SQH, is kinda like, “oh shit. SQQ adopted a child. What's gonna happen to the plot??” and the system is like,

'no clue lol' causing SQH to overthink more.

SQH is gonna be the only one in the story who knows completly that SY is an adopted child of SQQ because he's 100% sure of his character's personalities and knows that SQQ wouldn't be going around bedding people- So that child definitely isn't biologically his.

Everyone else though is gonna misunderstand SY's origins in angsty ways.

Like YGY, QQQ and MQF are all convinced SQQ was harassed and forced to have the child. LQG is convinced that SQQ had an epic love story and fell for a woman that stabbed him in the back and abandoned him with their child. Ect.

It's all mainly SQQ's fault for saying things and not elaborating, causing everyone to jump to conclusions-

(Check the reblogs for part 2. Aka, my old writing on a scene in this hypothetical fanfic.)

[bingqiu-fanfics]

Words: 48,855 Summary: In which Shen Yuan pisses the System off and it sends him straight into the Endless Abyss. Four years later, Shen Qingqiu does the same to Luo Binghe.

This is such a well written and unique abyss fic, with a grey lotus Luo Binghe and a reluctant mentor Shen Yuan. This is the rare fic where Shen Yuan is just as, if not more blackened than Luo Binghe, but I think this is one of the best executions of that I've seen. Shen Yuan still seems like Shen Yuan, he's just been going through it lol. There is such interesting and unique world building in the abyss, and a lot of genuinely hilarious moments. This fic is incomplete and hasn't been updated in a couple of years, which is such a shame because it is so well done and original (and it also leaves off on a bit of a cliff hanger :P). Still, it's definitely worth a read and I really hope the author comes back to it someday!

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a situation where SQQ gets a look at Luo Binghe's package (post-Abyss but pre-Maigu Ridge, or in an AU where Maigu Ridge doesn't happen) through like, the outline of his pants or whatever (maybe Binghe took a wardrobe tip from Jareth of Labyrinth), and then got to thinking about how huge Luo Binghe's meat is, like in an actually non-sexual way this time just his brain gets onto a tangent about a bunch of scenes from PIDW where the descriptions varied wildly, and then he starts wondering about exactly what size it is, because to go by the novel's descriptions it's either bigger than average but not insane or there's another arm stuffed into that codpiece somehow. Surely it's closer to the former than the latter? SQQ doesn't have any other evidence that physical limitations in this world are that different from his own world, but then again, would it come up in any of his conversations if women in this world have sufficiently cavernous vaginas for damn near every virgin Bingge met to accommodate a dick that big? Does it at least make childbirth easier? He hasn't exactly polled anyone on it, so it could be the case. But what about the back door, so to speak? There were a few sex scenes that went in that direction, forbidden tunnel of love type stuff and it was all incredibly bad and cheesy, but of course, SQQ actually has a "back door" too and surely he would notice if it was possible to stick his own arm up it. Although it's also not as if he's tried, and as a peak lord with a fantasy metabolism he doesn't actually have to take a shit either, his body processes everything extremely efficiently and it's been years since... well anyway it's not like he's had occasion to investigate it much, now that he's thinking about it. Maybe he can? Not that this is relevant information to anything though and given the inconsistencies the probable limitations of the numerous people PIDW Binghe had sex with, his package, though prodigious, is probably not actually that big of a weapon. How could he even comfortably keep it contained otherwise...? Etc etc etc.

Meanwhile the entire time he's having this internal spiel, he's just... staring. At Luo Binghe's dick. Really blatantly. It doesn't even occur to him that he's doing something incriminating about his interests or possible attraction precisely because he's not, for once, getting flustered about it (much) but is in fact genuinely vexed by the mystery. This is not so much a case of imagining Luo Binghe's dick as wondering about fantasy physiology. So he's lost track of where his gaze has wandered.

The longer it goes on for though the more flustered Luo Binghe gets though. Like, should he say something? Is this a prelude to Shizun making a move? Is there... something wrong with it? Why is he staring so intently? Is Shizun aware that he has just been looking straight at Luo Binghe's dick for almost ten minutes now...? He should definitely say something, right? Maybe this is his chance! Or maybe he should wait and see what Shizun does next? Should he try a line? Something suave? Ask if he wants to see it! Shizun can absolutely see Binghe's dick if he wants to! No wait, but what if Shizun is planning on making a move and he ruins it by being impatient? He should wait and see where this is going.

...How long is it going to take, though...?

Luo Binghe's brain frazzles between trying to decide if he should make a move or prepare to be receptive towards one, or maybe check and make sure his dick hasn't turned into tentacle or something without him noticing, while Shen Qingqiu slooowly (very slowly) begins to realize that yes, he has been staring at Luo Binghe's dick while lost in thought for such a long time that now it's weird. It's definitely weird. He should look away now, at once, except now if he stops staring at Binghe's dick it's going to end whatever stalemate this is and he's probably going to have to explain why he was ogling it in the first place, and he definitely cannot explain anything, so he just keeps staring while furiously trying to think of a non-gay explanation for why he's now glaring intensely at Luo Binghe's crotch.

...He can't think of anything. Oh god. This is a disaster. Luo Binghe is going to kill him for being a perve!

(Good luck, Binghe.)

[zykamiliah]

What kind of skeletons do you think are in SY's closet?

so the context for that is the conversation he's having with sqh, when the latter asks him if he sees lbh as "the apple of his eyes" and adored him as his "darling baby and disciple", going on on how sqq had been "out of his mind with grief, his thoughts wandering all over the place", according to th qjp disciples, and how he would call lbh's name and stand at the sword mound and "sigh in sorrow" (lmao if it weren't for the qjp disciples gossiping about it we would NEVER learned of what was going on with sqq post-IAC)

then sqh asks the million dollars question

“Cucumber-bro, can I ask, how did you see Luo Binghe? I remember you were one of his fans, right? You roasted a huge number of the characters I wrote, but even so, you never roasted him. To you, is he a character, or is he a…”

and sqq panics in his mind and thinks that sqh's interrogation was similar in tone to "high-school girls gossiping in the dorms after lights-out":

“Tell me! Do you have a crush on ___?” “N-no, what are you talking about!” “Dodging the question~ Don’t be shy O(∩_∩)O ha ha~” “I hate you, go to bed!” Lightning. Lightning from the nine heavens! Shang Qinghua was in fact innocent. He was honestly asking and was interested in discussing the matter. It was Shen Qingqiu who was overthinking the skeletons in his closet.

sqh was not asking if sqq had gay feelings/a crush on lbh, yet sqq's mind immediately jumped to that assumption lol you don't do that if you're straight lol and it definitely feels like it's a situation he's been before, where he's had to suppress and hide from himself his feelings for men. he even (mentally or otherwise) slaps himself when he's having what he deems "inappropriate" thoughts about binghe and/or his relationship with binghe

He was scaring his disciples, putting on the act of a grieving widow whose husband had just died. Hadn’t it been only a couple of days since he’d last seen that child? No! Bah! Shen Qingqiu mentally slapped himself. Who are you calling a grieving widow?! Whose husband died?! That’s not something you should just say—you’re really getting worse by the day. A negative mindset produces nothing good. You deserve a slap! ch4. conference

and then later in the borderlands when he thinks about what name lbh would have if he'd been born in the demon realm

(...)then Luo Binghe might as well be…Heavenly Pillar-Jun? Ha ha ha ha, fuck! Luo Heavenly Pillar! Ha ha ha ha, how painfully exhilarating! Shen Qingqiu had been laughing for a while when he abruptly slapped himself. The fuck is wrong with you?! Getting carried away, using the Great Master protagonist to come up with a tasteless dirty joke in your head! What’s funny about this? Don’t you get that some people are off-limits for your crass humor?!

he's just...very repressed 🫠

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu can fight. We've established he can fight and he knows how to throw a punch

Shang Qinghua despite his modus operandi can also fight when needed and can definitely throw a punch

But I just know in my gut that if those two got into it they would go straight for grade school antics of hair pulling, biting, and ineffective but still vicious kicking

Shen Qingqiu would go so far as to pin Shang Qinghua down in order to hock a loogie on him and Shang Qinghua would retaliate with a wet willy or something

There is something in their souls that means when they get into a physical altercation with eachother they turn into children

[i-cant-cast-that-yet]

Listen, I had a whole diatribe typed out train of thought style on aroace shen yuan, but I miss clicked somewhere and now it's gone but while I'm too tired to rewrite it all I'll give yall the spark notes.

Please keep in mind, this is mostly based on my specific experiences with being aroace-- as I myself am, and also me hard-core projecting. If this comes off as strange, it's because I'm a little strange myself. Also this probably makes no fucking sense so good luck.

Aroace Shen Yuan:

He's aware of PIDW Binghe being archetypically "hot," but doesn't personally get the appeal. He's seen the fanart, he's read through the copious amounts of papapa in the novel, he's aware that Binghe is suave n sexy n mysterious and that on paper he's supposed to be a chick magnet, but naturally shen yuan is straight so He's not into it obviously.

And you know what? I really do believe that pre-transmigration shen yuan wasn't actually attracted to fictional binghe. Not even in a parasocial or subconscious way. He was, however, definitely obsessed with his blorbo. It was about his deep fascination with the specific trope inversion binghe represented. It's the one thing that kept shen yuan engaged when the novel gradually took a nosedive beyond anything resembling a self-respecting internal narrative and fell face first into weekly updates of binghe's conquests and escapades. It's about how much shen yuan loved to read about binghe having to use his wits to overcome his obstacles when his early life disadvantages came to rear their heads and keep him from blasting through all obstacles. His weaknesses eventually made him strong, and even though that plot point was likely the first to disappear with the in-world discovery of xin mo, the promise that binghe might retain that level of intrigue kept him worth slogging through the rest of the novel.

That, and the longer the story goes on, the more tragic binghe's narrative becomes and the more protective shen yuan feels; the more righteous indignation the narrative evokes in him. Binghe is disrespected by the very text he's borne from in the perversion of his original wants. Binghe wants a home, love, stability, respect from his peers, and most importantly, he wants security and the apologies he was denied as a young boy. As the story goes on, these desires are given solutions that don't address the root causes via endless harem drama. This is likely because of xin mo exacerbating binghe's insecurities and amplifying his need for dual cultivation to manage his own unstable meridians, but for an ace shen yuan, this reliance on not only sex but meaningless sex with wives who because of circumstances outside of anyone's control cannot truly give binghe any of the emotional consolation he needs to work past his own issues, must have been infuriating. Add on the layer of vague disgust at having to be essentially coerced by an evil sword to rely on sexual encounters for both your physical wellbeing via cultivation, but also as a thinly veiled imitation of a coping method for binghe's complete lack of control over his childhood circumstances, and then to watch those real issues get chopped up into monster of the week papapa with whatever new fetish bait wife airplane has cooked up for the masses? I'd go fuckin bonkers too, man.

All of this to say, I think when shen yuan dies and ends up as shen qingqiu and then meets young binghe, he's probably intensely second-hand guilty alongside his terror and confusion. This is his Little Guy, his Big Terrible Dude, all wrapped up into a doe eyed, bruised little boy that he's supposed to bully now under threat of death. This is the little boy with so much kindness in his heart and so many more reasons to hate instead. This boy hasn't chosen hatred yet, but now shen yuan has to play his part in incubating that choice towards anger and self destruction and there's nothing he can really do about it.

He tries, of course, because shen yuan isn't going to let some nebulous system strong-arm him into abusing a child, even if in the end he can't avoid the truest of damning events in the endless abyss, he tries because he can't stomach letting this boy hurt more than fate is bound to force him to hurt himself.

But I'm losing sight of the point here. Back to the aroace funny bit.

I think that within the text of the canon svsss novel, we have enough textual evidence to safely call shen yuan demi. Yes, that man is deeply repressed, but something about his specific flavor of fond, resigned acceptance to binghe's actions post canon in relation to their marital bed n whatnot, I think he's attracted to binghe, but I don't think he's like...*attracted* attracted. This is where the grey area really begins. There's a sort of attraction that as an ace person I like, conceptually experience. The idea of having someone being like, handsome and having big muscles, and being into you, etc, that's all well and good in a vacuum, but in reality? Rather not.

I'd like to posit the idea of shen yuan being eventually comfortable trying to open up both to himself and to binghe largely because for the longest time, shen yuan still has the internal feeling that nothing in this world is real.

That binghe is still, at his core, fictional.

Idk about yall, but attraction to fictional characters is so much more palatable than attraction to a real individual. Mind you, I am actively aroace, and I've never dated in my 23 years alive, so this is real projection hours, but I digress, I myself have had a handful of crushes in my runtime that I've never bothered to act on out of pure disinterest in the act of romantic or emotional connection with others.

When you can't see yourself wanting to engage with the full complexity of another person on such an intimate level, either emotionally or physically, but you still feel deeply attached to them on a level bordering obsession, its...disconcerting to say the least. I feel like if shen yuan cared so deeply for binghe, would put up with his clingyness and his antics and his possessiveness, but never fully saw him as real? It'd be devastating if binghe even found out, and shen yuan really doesn't want to hurt him, but he can't manufacture a feeling where it doesn't exist. He's devoted to binghe, he enjoys making binghe happy, he wants to be with binghe, but he knows he isn't feeling the way his wives were written to feel about binghe and that makes him worry.

Sure, he feels 'a frission of heat' or whatever bs airplane had yapped about occassionally, and binghe's muscles do indeed 'bulge provocatively' quite often, but it's not the same, dammit. He loves binghe, but he's not quite sure he's in love with being in love. He's attracted to binghe, but none of the tropes he's been pushed into by the system have done anything but make him roll his eyes and sidestep whatever papapa plot line he's stumbled into.

And just maybe, it all makes him feel like he doesn't actually love binghe, and that he's been lying to him all over again. That he's doing exactly what shen yuan tells himself he was forced to do against his will, and that he's chosen to hurt binghe this way.

What shen yuan doesn't understand is that binghe realized a long ass time ago that his shizun isn't a very romantic person, but he is nothing but caring. That his shizun may not be a typical lover, but that couldn't matter less in binghe's eyes because shen qingqiu is choosing to keep binghe around even when it so clearly goes against what feels natural to the other man because he simply wants to have him around.

There's a lot to be said around the idea of "ace people can still love," and how it leaves a bad taste in my mouth as a predominantly aromantic individual, but that's neither here nor there, but I think there's something even more impactful to be spoken about people who can't, don't, or won't love in a "normal" or "typical" fashion, but who still choose to hold space for another in their life. For those who find themselves in love with someone who can't quite love them back "properly," but who yearn so strongly that they take what they can get. For those who don't need flowers and declarations of undying love, but a listening ear and a willing companion to spend their days with.

...

Also I think it would drive bingge up the fucking WALL trying to seduce his not-shizun and pulling out all the stops only for literally none of it to work lmao.

Anyway I'm gonna go rot in a corner at work now, lmk if I should like, elaborate further on anything or delete this haha

[afsosville]

An extension to the PIDW x Ever After High AU

The first post was pretty short so I'm going to put it here too.

For clarity, the 'parents' in this AU are the OG PIDW characters, and will go by their courtesy name, and the children are an AU version of them and have their birth name (so SQQ is the parent and SJ is the kid, YQY is the parent and YQ is the kid, LBG, is the parent, and  LBM is the kid, or at least a more mentally stable version of Bingmei? etc) 

SJ is pretty much fanon SJ, and a very mellowed out version of him, since in this AU, he didn't end up as a slave. Still traumatized tho. I like my Shen Jius traumatized. Shen Jiu is Raven in this AU, and he DOES NOT like his destiny. That's putting it lightly. NO ONE is happy. YQ doesn't want to be forced to abandon SJ and go through a horrifying qi deviation in the Lingxi Caves. And have his little brother's severed legs be sent to him as a present one day, and walk to his death the next. Yikes. Liu Mingyu doesn't want to die prematurely and have his shixiong be falsely accused of his murder. And Binghe doesn't like it either because he had a better childhood too, and is, well, disturbed, by the shit his father did, and the fate that's written for him. Binghe has his issues and he's that one quote "My father is the worst man alive and I am his favourite son". Like he knows the shit his dad did was completely unhinged. Him and the Book of Legends bear most of his hatred, and he never really has anything against Shen Jiu.

Everything just sorta revolves around everyone finding out what kinda person 'Shen Qingqiu' really is, along with the defying destiny thing Ever After High had going on. All the kids are just getting along far better than any of their parents did. The other mxtx characters are in here too, Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, Wen Ning, etc. 

LBG is totally going to be here too. He's acting all creepy towards SJ, like this mf is so close to tearing his off limbs too, and he's really tryna hold himself back. And he's fully planning to torture him too once his son puts Shen Jiu is the water prison because his SQQ is already dead. When he sees SJ in the flesh, he's eying him in a way that screams "I'm going to own you and there's little stopping me from having you in chains like your father." SJ is not so subtly hiding behind LBM, while LBM is so ready to fight his father to the death for SJ. 

The OG PLs from PIDW will definitely have some fucking regrets and will try to make it up to SJ coz the person they actually wronged is long dead (or is he?). And the peak lord kids are running interference everytime their parents want to get close to SJ, with maybe the exception of SQH and LQG. OG! LQG is alive because. Well I'll think of smt later. Plant body revival???? 

QHT has a son and a daughter who are supposed to be QJL and QHT, as is their so-called destiny. During Legacy Day, the kid that's supposed to end up like QJL sees flashes of his uncle's life and ofc he'll end up seeing the abuse SQQ endured under him. It is at that moment, what really happened in the Qiu manor was revealed. QHT's son is actually a chill dude who hates his destiny too and hates his uncle even more. SJ and QHT's kids are cool with each other, and this pisses off QHT so much lol.

Now more onto SQQ.

This mf is ALIVE and KICKING. And by that I mean he absolutely did pull mushroom body getaway and did some serious demonic cultivator bullshit to animate his dead body like some voodoo god. LBG was straight up torturing a corpse lol. SQQ originally didn't want to sign either but decided to do it anyway because he knew LBG definitely wanted to. SQQ thought that he should legitimately try to kill him so he doesn't turn into that. SQQ knew that ofc he would ultimately die in the end, but thought his villain halo could still try to do some damage to LBG, and to prevent his rise to power, and work against the destiny he signed at the same time. Obviously, the protagonist still had to come out on top and SQQ failed miserably. So. Mushroom getaway>>

Listen, those mushrooms were obviously supposed to be used in the OG PIDW. and somehow weren't iirc. And it was supposed to be used by a villain. So yes, SQQ's generation does end up being PIDW complacent. Except SQQ is a smartass and is living his life away from any destiny bullshit rn.

SJ/LBM will reunite with SQQ.

SQQ will end up liking LBM but he's still a mother hen, so he'll be giving him a really hard time before he's ready to let him anywhere near his son.

SQQ was separated from his son until this point. The name SQQ meant to give him was Jiu, as in turtledove. Which has this whole meaning of 'enduring love'. He meant for SJ to not turn out like him and to live out his best life despite what life throws at him. I absolutely love the fics where the author makes the Jiu in Shen Jiu be the character for turtledove. And with SQQ-J taking care of his younger self in a way. SQQ and SJ are going to have the fluffiest father-son relationship because I deem it to be so. Unlike LBG and LBM, my badd:/ Have fun with those daddy issues, buddy.

Within the chaos that is SQQ's mind, he really did not regret doing what he did to LBG, but y'know, having some time to himself while he was on his sabbatical, he learnt a few things about himself, and how he used LBG's future self to justify trying to kill smn who otherwise didn't do anything wrong (yet). And the fact that things could've turned out better if he truly went with his heart and hadn't signed the book like his son will HAUNT HIM. Sure LBG may or may not have wanted his destiny but SQQ definitely didn't!! He could've fucked up his story by not signing it just the same!! This is totally not eating him up alive!! Yup!! He just haddddd to sign it and thought be could kill LBG to avoid future devastation. Said future devastation still came to pass lol. RIP SQQ's sanity, I truly feel for you.

Let me make this worse. LBG didn't want to sign it either and was peer pressured into doing it. He genuinely thought he could reason with SQQ after Legacy Day and tell him he really didn't want them to hurt each other. And he was so sure SQQ felt the same way, he could've sworn they were on the same page- but then he saw how determined SQQ was to sign the Book of Legends on Legacy Day. And when SQQ's hardened gaze locked in on LBG, he met SQQ's eyes, promising a future of pain for them both. LBG ignores the way his heart shatters at the resolution.

Look, enemies to lovers BingJiu is fine and all, but consider LOVERS to ENEMIES BINGJIU!!! I'm just imagining BingJiu animatics in head with Taylor Swift's Bad Blood egckfxv.,

Coz yes, even the prev B9 gen totally had smt going on. Too bad for them tho, it ain't happening.

The rest is stuff from the first post >>>

Imagine how fucked up it would be if Shen Jiu is up there doing the book signing ceremony that seals his destiny of becoming the next 'Shen Qingqiu', and the mirrors display him getting thrown away by his martial siblings at the trial, and his limbs being torn off and other despicable tortures, and being brought down so low that your humanity is stripped away from you, all for an audience to see. And they cheer. The crowd is ecstatic, perhaps even more so than when his father, Shen Qingqiu, was put on trial.

 Shen Jiu x Pain is my favourite ship, can you tell??

Shen Jiu is barely 15 when this happens and every goddamn person is reveling in this child getting tortured. Amidst the sea of people who loathe him, there is one person not advocating for his death, and that is LBH’s son!! The very person that’s supposed to kill him!!! When LBM sees the same hopelessness that he feels in SJ’s eyes, he decides at that moment that he will be SJ’s number one defender. Everything else be damned. When SJ announces that he will not be pledging to a life of misery, LBM gets up on that stage and makes it clear that he won’t either. 

OML I did smt cool. You see the parallel I just fucking made wowwwwww.

Snippets that my mutes made for this AU 🩷🩷🩷

By Sleepyssnail

By Celestialbruise

Og post

[ronnykins-needshelp]

Random silly reincarnation idea where Shen Qingqiu never thought of the mushroom and actually died trying to save Luo Binghe.

And then Luo Binghe tried his best to open the crypt but that never happened so once he gave up he went ballistic and ended up destroying half of the mortal realm, also the demon realm bc he doesn’t discriminate. Obviously he killed everyone besides his disciple siblings who were in the city that day. However he did end up destroying huan hua palace because if they didn’t kill whoever harmed what was his in the first place he would end up killing himself.

So hundred years later Shen Yuan gets reincarnated as a rich master of the Shen household [ let’s pretend they are his fathers immediate family descendants in which he SQQ never found out about ]. They have a huge agriculture and livestock empire and thus he’s a little farm boy. He doesn’t at all dabble into cultivation besides talismans and what not. He’s humble and helps out with his family’s inner farm [ personal animals ] and sometimes the commercial when management is running low. He loves goats but what he really loves are the beasts of the demon realm, which often roam after the merge of the two realms.

All Thanks to Luo Binghe. He was absolutely amazing, Shen yuan probably read all the books about him. Aswell as heard the plays, songs, and even folklore. He obsessed over his Heaven forsaken love with his old teacher. He didn’t understand why he loved him in the first place [ he’s rich, give him a break ] because his master made mistakes left and right. But nonetheless he loved it. The homos were cute in his opinion.

But anyways he had a knack for the beasts, he indulged in many books about them and had a very good intuition. He may not have a golden core but he definitely has a golden finger when it comes to knowledge on beasts.

So for at least 50 miles he’s known as the beast expert. Shen Yuan has been picked many times over next to a cultivator. Plus he’s free. These beasts can either: be tamed, fall in love with him, be scared of him, or run away. It depended but most of the demons loved him.

push comes to shove when he gets someone begging him to take care a black-moon Rhinoceros python that appeared at the border of a city. He is ecstatic to finally see one of them much to his elder brothers anguishes.

He travelled to the area and helped clear out the people. He knew a lot of information about this beast in particular because Luo Binghe had ridden one when he destroyed Huan Hua palace. Even if he wasn’t a cultivator there were other ways to calm it.

Calm he Did because he had it laying down with the python in its mouth begging for more pets within an hour.

Before he could indulge it with more something came tumbling out of the forest and killed it. There was only one sword who could kill a big beast in one swift movement and that was Xin mo. If it had been any other situation, Shen Yuan would have been fangirling over Luo Binghe blessing him with his presence. But it wasn’t, and the little[ huge ] boi he wanted to take home was dead.

So he started ranting and ranting to no ends. Luo Binghe only had a bewildered expression. No one had treated him like this. Always respectful, or fearful, or both. The last person to get this snarky with him, he had been searching for the last 100 years.

“ Shizun. I found you. �� Luo Binghe said with a smile.

then straight up kidnaps Shen Yuan. He was dragged kicking and screaming. Obviously he didn’t want to meet his hero.

So now Shen Yuan was confused because Luo Binghe keeps calling him shizun? But he just shares his family name?? Why did he think he was his dead teacher????

And plus.

He killed his fucking Black moon Rhinoceros-Python. He has an absolute vendetta against this man. So he went around his harem [ yes he has a harem, it’s mostly to distract himself from the pain of losing his shizun and yes it still has hundreds of women ] and chatted with them, making friends, and gossiping. Since he was stuck here he decided to get back at the demon emperor. So he convinced a lot of the wives to leave. He used the fact that most haven’t even seen the man for a long time.

This leaves Luo Binghe outraged because !! He needs love!!! People!!! To love him!!! But his shizun is making that difficult. Was it because he vowed to find him after he reincarnated? He didn’t know

Cue shinanigens where Shen yuan makes Luo Binghes herum smaller and smaller and having those who stayed like him very much and prefer his readings more. Luo Binghe doesn’t know what to do with him because he acted so much like the man he yearns. And he’s jealous.

He is frustrated and turned on at the same time. Luo Binghe sees that this Shen yuan loves beasts so he deliberately leads them into his harem so he can watch from afar his gushes.

Luo Binghe still gets the cold shoulder whenever they are together. He really doesn’t say why, but he’s very petty and will refuse to talk to him until he gets a black-moon Rhinoceros-python pet. Yah that’s it. But Luo Binghe doesn’t know that. He really doesn’t. He just wants his shizun back

Idk an ending yet LMAO

This is a basic outline of the concept of my fanfic!! Starting writing later but def gonna be a good idea. I love Shen yuan getting blood off him and shamelessly saying he was beginning to know the creatures here in the sect. With Luo Binghe in the background freaking out [ he’s still going to bring more creatures, Shen Yuan looks way too cute with them ].

[bambooswordwielder]

Shen Yuan not fully treating the other characters in the novel as real real people but as just book characters until nearly the end of the novel is one of my favourite decisions taken in SVSSS.

I've seen quite a few Transmigration type stories, but I've haven't seen many that play with the idea of the MC not treating the other characters as real distinct people quite to the extent I've seen in SVSSS (note this is from what I've read/watched, there are definitely books out there with this trope I haven't read)

This aspect of his character often leads to him not realising how he affects the world and the characters and how much his mere presence vastly changes the plot (Eg: Saving Liu Qingge, Being Kind to Luo Binghe, Saving Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan from their Novel-Fates)

While we as readers can joke about how oblivious Shen Yuan is to not realise his impact on the world, how oblivious he is to other characters' opinions on him, but I feel like it's a pretty reasonable response when you think about the fact that he regularly gets reminded of the fact that the world is based on a novel he read.

He firsts dies while reading PIDW and then proceeds to end up in the body of the Scum Villain Shizun who abused Luo Binghe before eventually being punished by having all his limbs being cut off and Yue Qingyuan dying trying to save him, add on the fact that for he has to act 'In-Character' as Shen Qingqiu until he unlocks 'OOC'.

Imagine facing this realisation straight after finding out you died.

Shen Yuan is a unique case in the sense he apparently already somewhat mentally prepared himself in his Past Life for what he would do in Transmigration.

Shen Yuan is already different than the average person to the extent that he was at least somewhat prepared mentally.

The soon after, he discovers the System.

A fact I want to acknowledge is the way the System talks throughout the book — Often using 'Gaming' Words or Words we associate with Games.

It has a Point System which Shen Yuan can use to get things, it punishes Shen Yuan for not doing what it wants him to do, it regularly calls events 'Plot' and '____ Arc', things we associate with TV shows, Movies, Books, and Games. It even gives him a tutorial mission he has to finish in order to get a special reward which would make the rest of his 'gameplay' easiler (Get to act OOC)

Various Characters also have Special Points regarding their emotions and or feelings, with Shen Yuan being able to "Improve this characters opinion on him" and "Increase Protagonist's Satisfaction Points!".

Luo Binghe being clearly designated as the Golden Protagonist who cannot be harmed fatally by the plot makes the situation worse as Shen Yuan's mind is constantly being reminded of Luo Binghe's role in this world.

Due to the System, Shen Yuan is forced to push Luo Binghe into the endless abyss, cementing his fate in his mind because — "Luo Binghe will certainly murder his Scum of a teacher now!" — not recognising yet how much his care and teaching of Luo Binghe has impacted him.

Now add in the inherent complexities of Original! Shen Qingqiu, someone who's backstory was hidden in PIDW and didn't have someone who truly understood him in his own world/Sect. Shen Yuan, for as much as we can praise him for many different things, has a flaw of assuming characters will act exactly as they are written in the novel without accounting for changes.

He doesn't realise the true reality of how complex Original! Shen Qingqiu was as a person as he interacts with Yue Qingyuan.

To him, Original! Shen Qingqiu was a one-note Villain until Shen Yuan finally does get to see Original! Shen Qingqiu's backstory.

I've seen many complaining that Shen Yuan doesn't feel sympathetic enough to Shen Jiu after finding out his past, but after analysing some points in the novel, I feel like it makes sense. I don't necessarily like it, but it makes sense.

Shen Yuan's journey throughout the novel is learning to accept Luo Binghe as a living breathing person who he loves. He has to separate Luo Bing(mei) from his original Novel Countertop (Luo Bingge).

We face his lows and highs during his novel as he learns his mistakes in treating various characters as mere novel characters and not as people.

Shen Yuan has never met Shen Jiu — only learning of him from either the novel or from the other characters. Shen Jiu himself was already far too complex to the point no one in his world ever truly understood him, how could we expect Shen Yuan, a character who only read of him as a Scum Villain with no context to his backstory.

[masiethewriter]

Honored Eternal Path of Demise CH. 21 - Wake-Up Call

Luo Binghe is checking the bricks in the wall, tapping them with the crowbar. On occasion he uses it to check for any loose hold. Shen Qingqiu stares at him with empty eyes until Luo Binghe finally finds the spot. Using the crowbar to pull the brick loose, he manages to catch it before it falls to the floor. Carefully, he puts it down without a sound.  The hole that is left in the wall isn't wide. It is quite deep, enough that Luo Binghe has to stick his entire arm inside before he finds what is hidden inside. 

First Chapter ~~ Previous Chapter ~~ AO3 Link

“Senior, please. Before you assume anything, let me explain. I promise it isn’t what you think-”

Shen Qingqiu finds it quite fascinating to observe Luo Binghe at this very moment. The words he says are quite similar to just prior, but the way he behaves is anything but.

Before, Luo Binghe had been stuttering and embarrassed. He hadn’t dared to step closer to Shen Qingqiu, instead hiding away as he tried to explain himself. His face had been flustered and he had moved around as if didn’t know what to do with himself.

The current Luo Binghe’s words are clear. He is quick to take hold of Shen Qingqiu’s arms, holding them close and forcing them to keep eye contact. His face has gone pale and he stands completely still like the rock of a mountain.

Both instances are of Luo Binghe feeling guilty. Both have regret leaking out like oil from a rotten barrel. But one guilt is expressed like a cluttered apology from an accidental mishap. The other is the bad consciousness of someone who knows they did something wrong.

“When did you take my glasses?” Shen Qingqiu ask, surprised by his own voice. He wasn't even trying to sound like the original goods. 

For some reason he finds it very easy to stay in character right now.

“I…” Luo Binghe hesitates. He should have expected Shen Qingqiu to ask him directly. He gathers his thoughts and then explains in a low voice. “Right after we ran from the Killer the first time. When I took your jacket to bandage your foot, I noticed them in your pocket. You were so out of it, I decided to keep them safe for you.”

Shen Qingqiu nods. That makes sense. That was right after his foot got in an intimate relationship with the Killers axe, so Luo Binghe could have easily taken his glasses without him noticing. His entire memory of the incident is a bit muddy, so he can understand why Luo Binghe thought it would be a good idea to keep them safe.

Then he asks the second question on his mind.

“And why didn’t you give them back to me?”

“That is- I wasn’t- So much was-" Luo Binghe starts. He tries a few more attempts before he drops his shoulders and gives the weakest excuse known to man. "I forgot..."

“You forgot. I see.” Shen Qingqiu says, staring straight at Luo Binghe. The shame is definitely catching up to the other man, as he is suddenly unable to meet his gaze. instead his eyes cast downwards.

Shen Qingqiu knows Luo Binghe is a better liar than that. His excuse being so pitiful is almost enough to make him believe it. The problem is that he is too aware of exactly how smart Luo Binghe is. Even if he forgot about the glasses when they were studying the drawing back at the Killer’s hut, he would definitely have remembered them once Shen Qingqiu had asked him to read the diary for him.

Is he really meant to believe that note after note of Luo Binghe reading for him, that not a single time did the man remember that he had Shen Qingqiu’s glasses right in his back pocket? Never did he question why Shen Qingqiu wasn’t able to read the pages himself?

He could ask Luo Binghe. He could confront him with every instance it would have made sense for him to return the glasses. He could point out how obvious an issue it had been for Shen Qingqiu to have been unable to properly see. There is much Shen Qingqiu could say where it would be quite interesting to see Luo Binghe try to explain himself.

But why do that when he knows exactly why Luo Binghe didn’t return his glasses?

A lot has happened since he and Luo Binghe first left the mansion together. They have been through much. Lives have been in danger and strong emotions have been felt. So really, it is no wonder that Shen Qingqiu this easily became complaisant and began acting friendly with Luo Binghe.

He had forgotten that it is literally in Luo Binghe’s code to detest Shen Qingqiu.

Of course, Shen Qingqiu isn’t claiming this is some larger plot from Luo Binghe’s side. He properly isn’t even fully aware of why he did it. At this point in time Luo Binghe doesn’t even remember having met Shen Qingqiu before. And he definitely has yet to find out that Shen Qingqiu is behind all his misery from before the mansion.

Luo Binghe has yet to find any reason to hate him. If he had, he would not have risked his own life on so many occasions to save Shen Qingqiu’s.

Instead, it is likely something much simpler. Luo Binghe took his glasses on a whim when keeping him from dying back then. Maybe he did forget to return the glasses back at the Killer’s hut.

But at some point he remembered. At some point he found that watching Shen Qingqiu flounder around, blind and disabled, was worth the amusement. That he enjoyed seeing this person, that he is predisposed to hate, being vulnerable and weak. That even while he is too kind to leave this distasteful scum villain of a senior to his death, at least he can get some entertainment.

Really, it is all Shen Qingqiu’s own fault that he forgot Luo Binghe and him are meant to be nothing but enemies.

He has no excuse for why it feels like someone reached into his chest and pulled out his heart only to replace it with a block of ice.

It's just...

He had truly been enjoying his and Luo Binghe's comradery...

“Senior, I am truly sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. If there is anything I can do to make you forgive me, please tell me.” Luo Binghe says. He might have been talking for a while, but Shen Qingqiu wasn’t listening. 

Now he is back in the present. He calmly looks at Luo Binghe as he lifts his hands. With stiff fingers he grabs him by the wrists. There is resistance at first when he calmly pushes Luo Binghe's arms away.

"What does Luo Binghe mean? There is clearly nothing to forgive. As you said, you simply forgot."

Hearing Shen Qingqiu's words, Luo Binghe does not look reassured in the slightest. In fact, he looks more stricken, as if Shen Qingqiu hadn't just let him off easy. For some reason he is even paler and he opens his mouth to speak. Likely trying to give another excuse. 

Shen Qingqiu turn his back to him.

He limps back until he can sit down by the edge of the wardrobe. He places himself right by the strobe of light coming from the hallway, trying to find the least painful position he can manage. Then he brings forth the note he was going to show Luo Binghe.

"What... What is Senior doing...?" Luo Binghe haltingly asks. Standing by himself in the dark he somehow looks smaller and more lost than Shen Qingqiu has ever seen him.

"Seeing as I am still a burden, I will have to rely on Luo Binghe to find the loose rock the note mentioned. Meanwhile, since I got my glasses back, I will be just fine reading any future diary pages by myself," Shen Qingqiu explains. He wasn't going to say more than that, but in the end he can't hold back a final comment. "That must certainly be a relief for Luo Binghe. I know you didn't particularly care for these pages."

Luo Binghe looks as if he has been hit. Shen Qingqiu should be feeling satisfied like this, but he honestly just feels empty. Maybe a bit disappointed. It doesn't really matter. As Binghe hesitantly goes over to pick up his dropped crowbar, Shen Qingqiu returns to the note in his hand. 

"Oh god. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. It was all an accident, I swear! I didn't know it was even there! I heard the crunch and I immediately stopped what I was doing, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do. How do I tell him? How can I possibly tell him? He trusted me with it and now it is like this! I haven't been able to make myself go out to the forest since it happened. I am sorry. I am so, so very sorry."

Now that he again has his glasses, he is able to see the two darker spots on the page. The paper more stiff. Like someone spilled water on it. He just stares at the words on the page. Not really registering what they mean. 

None of this is real anyway.

He had known that the story of the diary would at one point turn unpleasant. He even had his suspicions it would be something akin to this. No reason to act surprised. It is just a coincidence he had to reach the bad parts when already in a bad mood.

Rotten luck and all that. 

Luo Binghe is checking the bricks in the wall, tapping them with the crowbar. On occasion he uses it to check for any loose hold. Shen Qingqiu stares at him with empty eyes until Luo Binghe finally finds the spot.

Using the crowbar to pull the brick loose, he manages to catch it before it falls to the floor. Carefully, he puts it down without a sound. 

The hole that is left in the wall isn't wide. It is quite deep, enough that Luo Binghe has to stick his entire arm inside before he finds what is hidden inside. 

For a second, Shen Qingqiu worries that some trap will activate and something horrible will happen. But as he remembers that Luo Binghe is immune to permanent injury, he returns to his detached state. 

Luo Binghe brings his arm back out safely, holding a folded piece of paper. He brings it over for Shen Qingqiu to see, but then something small falls out from between the folds.

Luo Binghe Picks it up. It reveals itself to be a key. A very small and fine key. Clearly not made for any heavy doors or solid chests.

It does appear to be the perfect size for the safe in the office.   

Luo Binghe looks towards Shen Qingqiu, excitement in his eyes. Whatever expression he finds on Shen Qingqiu's face is quick to kill it off, though. Instead, as he walks over, he sits down on his knees, a respectful distance between them as he hands over the paper.

Shen Qingqiu folds it out and they find it is another kid drawing.

[DRAWING]

There is nothing that immediately stands out to him. It is likely the same drawing as the one mentioned in the note, the depiction of a woman, child and cat making it obvious. What use this drawing can be to them is an entirely different matter though.

Shen Qingqiu keeps thinking of the locked chest in the servants bedroom. It had a cat, a mushroom and a heart scratched into it. That is two out of three symbols that match with the drawing. The cat being obvious and the mushrooms matching the basket the maid is holding.

Now, for the heart he can't immediately see anything that fits. And even if he did, he is not sure how any of it would fit the number order of the lock. If the drawing is actually a hint, then there is something else he needs to figure out the numbers. 

As he muses over the puzzle, Luo Binghe speaks up.

"Senior, I would like to go back to the office. I feel like there has to be something of use in that safe."

"Hmm," Shen Qingqiu hums in agreement, his attention still on the drawing. He makes no move to get up, mostly seeing as he isn't quite able to thanks to his arm and leg.

Luo Binghe also doesn't immediately move. He stays kneeling, staring at Shen Qingqiu who refuses to turn his head his way. After a long enough pause, with tension thick enough to get stuck in their throats, he realizes he won't be getting what he seeks. He stands back up and looks down at Shen Qingqiu with eyes concealed by the darkness.

"I will grab a candle first," he says, voice low, as he leaves the room. 

Once Luo Binghe is in the hallway, Shen Qingqiu lowers the drawing with a sigh. He has no idea how he is supposed to act. This was a wake up call, a reveal that made it clear he has not lived up to the role of the scum villain which he is meant to play. It has been such a long time since he behaved like the original goods that now it feels all wrong to do so. He had no problem with it when they just left the mansion. So why does he suddenly want to scratch off his skin and reshuffle his organs when dealing with Luo Binghe?

With another annoyed sigh, he puts the drawing in his pocket. That is when he feels something else that he didn't expect. He pulls it out and finds it is the picture he took from the office.

Now wearing his glasses, he can see each person with perfect clarity. It is immediately clear that these are workers of the mansion, though they all appear to be higher rank than the common maid or gardening boy. 

Out of everyone, there are two people he recognizes. They stand side by side, one wearing a form fitting dress and the other a black vest over a cotton shirt and trousers. Though instead of looking at their child with disdain, they now look towards the photographer. 

The woman's expression is still full of contempt. This time though, the man appears more natural. Fitting much better in with the rest of his colleagues.

Below the image is written out the names of each person. The order of the names matching with the order of the people. As expected, Shen Qingqiu does not recognize most of them, but one stands out. 

The final name must be that of the recognized man, him standing as the last person in the line. Which means the name before his must be that of his wife. But noticeable, her name is the only one scratched over. Thin red lines going back and forth until it is impossible to read what it says underneath.

Shen Qingqiu honestly doesn't know what that means. But it feels like this isn't a random coincidence. He is finding hints that didn't exist in his first playthrough and they must add something to the story. If only he could figure out what it is...

He isn't given more time to consider. Luo Binghe returns and this time he doesn't try to placate Shen Qingqiu. He doesn't even question what the other is looking at, quietly helping him up. Shen Qingqiu pockets the photo and then throws his good arm over Luo Binghe's shoulder. Luo Binghe hesitates for only another second before they are on their way.

It is easy to go back the way they came. With the map from earlier, they are no longer really in any danger of getting lost. Shen Qingqiu mostly zones out, letting Luo Binghe lead. Feeling his skin so close to his, his itchy skin and rustling stomach makes a return. He really wants to be anywhere other than here. He needs time to figure out how he feels about this. Whether he needs to lay a new plan or stay with Luo Binghe.

It may seem like he doesn't have much of a choice at the moment. If he could be alone long enough without any disturbances, he might come up with an alternative. Luo Binghe has certainly shown teaming up with him does come with certain risks. The challenge is that Shen Qingqiu isn't quite able to determine what exactly those risks are yet.

If he stays with Luo Binghe, will it worsen? Or since Luo Binghe has now been caught, will he play nice from now on? He has no reason to go beyond subtle manipulations as of yet, so maybe Shen Qingqiu should play it safe and stay with him?

Really, when he truly thinks about it, haven't the good greatly outweighed the bad when teaming up with Luo Binghe? Isn't Luo Binghe saving his life time and time again worth more than one case of not returned glasses?

Why is Shen Qingqiu so stuck on this? It makes no sense! Ning Yingying directly stabbed him to death and he was able to forgive her relatively easily! So why does what Luo Binghe did feel so much more personal?

Shen Qingqiu needs to get himself together. It doesn't matter, they will just have to open the safe in the office, avoid it's trap, get to the library and then find the secret passage to the upper floor-

Suddenly Luo Binghe stops. Just a bit further ahead is the door to the office, but like a rock, Luo Binghe refuses to move. He stares straight ahead for a second, taking a deep breath before he turns his head to face Shen Qingqiu.

"Senior. I really think we need to talk," he says, his voice sounding more open and vulnerable than Shen Qingqiu has heard in a long time. Maybe not since Luo Binghe thanked him for saving his life back in the shed?

"I don't see what we have to talk about," Shen Qingqiu does not return his gaze, trying to keep his eyes on the office door. 

"But I do. And I don't want us to continue with bad blood between us."

"Luo Binghe, really, this isn't necesa-"

"I'm sorry Senior! I made a mistake and it is solely my fault. I shouldn't have done it and you have every right to be mad at me," Binghe exclaims. He is just repeating himself from earlier, but it feels as if there is more to his words this time.

"Binghe..." Shen Qingqiu sighs, lowering his head. Why does it feel like his heart is being squeezed empty?

"If you need to yell at me, then yell. If you need to hit me, then hit me. If you want me to apologize again and again, then I will do so until I have no voice left. I am really, truly sorry Senior."

Is that a waver in Luo Binghe's voice? Shen Qingqiu must be imagining it. If he were to actually look at Luo Binghe, there is no way that the other would actually be crying over this. 

Closing his eyes, he gathers the last of the steely resolve he has left from the original Shen Qingqiu. He needs to make it clear where the two of them stand.

"I don't want any of that. It doesn't matter. I don't understand why you never returned my glasses. You don't understand why I keep focusing on the diary pages. Maybe we both just need to accept that we don't understand each other as well as we thought," he says, trying to keep most of the bitterness from seeping through. 

He doesn't think he quite manages it in the end.

"Senior..." Luo Binghe whispers, his voice so heartbroken that Shen Qingqiu almost feels tears coming to his own eyes. But he isn't wrong, so they both just need to man up and get over this-!

A sound ahead. 

They both go still. 

There is no doubt that it came from the office.

Not the sound of heavy boots. Or bloody axes. This is lighter. Rustling. Like someone rummaging through papers and shelves.

Neither Shen Qingqiu nor Luo Binghe speak another word. Instead they slowly and, oh so quietly, move forward. Once they are by the door, Luo Binghe releases Shen Qingqiu. With his arms free he holds the crowbar at the ready. Not too gently he pushes the door open. 

Shen Qingqiu follows behind Luo Binghe as well as he can manage. As the door hits the wall, the person messing around immediately turns to face them with wide eyes. Putting a leg in front of her, her arms raised at the ready, they are faced with the masked girl wearing a very recognizable school uniform.

Finally they managed to catch up to Liu Mingyan.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Bonus Chapter 26

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

This chapter took me two days to go through! It's SO LONG (120 pages). I wanted to post yesterday but I got 60 pages in and started fading. Winter is here and the sun keeps disappearing too quickly, your boy is feeling the SAD.

The tea photo is from today and not yesterday- I tried out a new one it's almond amaranth and rooibos.

let's get into this monster of a chapter!

Fuck yeah, we have an airplane POV! Though this chapter is BEEFY. I think I'm going to read half today and half tomorrow before posting it (present me: and I did! ^-^).

I love that we are getting all of these forum comments. This is so fun! One of my favourite brands of fics are fics that include elements of social media/forum/blog style au's and this is a vibe! pp140-147

This guy is not wrong "Even though this famous Lord Cucumber spewed criticism constantly and without end in 'Great Master' Airplane's comment section, his subscription payments and demands for updates never waned. Because of this 'Great Master Airplane had come to suspect that this person was a masochist". p148 I mean yeah lol

OMG what an awful way to die! Alone in your house, let's be real - likely in his underwear- via electrocution induced by his sad instant ramen noodle dinner. p149

and the fact that he transmigrated so young. He was there for a while before the plot plotted with SY. 17 years old! p150. I do wonder if there is a wiggly time thing. Like years in the transmigrated novel equal like hours in the world he came from or something. They died close together I think? anyways- any theories on this are welcome!

Same though- Airplane is so real for this. The way in which I would just want to spill all of the foreknowledge and secrets to people I held in my brain as the creator of this universe p153

The SASS [Tip Complete. We wish you the best of luck]. p155

Are you kidding! This man didn't even write the plot that led for his main spy character to becoming a spy...dang man. the potholes are real bad. p156

Okay but this would seriously be me af. I am such a wimp- and that is totally okay! In the face of most definitely death, I would submit myself to being the Little Bitch Boy and pledge myself, my body, my undying love, to my new demon overlord and master. Good for baby him ahaha. p158

"As Shang Qinghua overflowed with snot and tears, clinging on for dear life, begging to pledge fealty to Mobei-Jun - wholly without warning, the demon collapsed." p160 Again, same. I'm feeling seen with Airplane here XD Screaming, crying, throwing up.

Man. I really see how these two end up together (I'm assuming they do?). He had a solid chance to murder the guy and he just couldn't because the character is just his ideal man. p162

"This character had been created entirely to the author's own tastes" p163 MHMMM. Yeah he was.

ehehehe and here we have the only one bed trope at the inn he got to nurse his ideal man back to health. p165

This guy is so shameless. Straight up just watching Mobei-Jun strip while he sits there and snacks. p169

It is so unhinged that this man just has a string tied to his neck pp170-171

that congee- YARF "clear as water" sounds so unappealing p174

"When in doubt- just cry" - Airplane definitely p176

The security on this mountain is so shit. Demons just popping in all the time under the radar. Mobei-jun literally lived there for three days no one even knew XD p183

awww, Airplane tried to warn Liu Qingge about the upcoming Qi deviation. That was nice of him. p190

Yes! Thank you! The scene I have been waiting for; in which the other characters are all like "wtf is up with shen qingqiu? He really is 100% different overnight, but also, no one say anything to him because we like this him better" p192

Fair though, I too would think that SQQ was possessed p194

The way in which airplane is SHAKEN by the actions of SQQ right now is so funny. Him frozen expression, this is NOT the character I wrote what the fuck is happening. p206

Someone commented on an earlier chapter post I had about the theory that the system is the manifestation of airplane's actual wants for the story and like- I stand with this theory. It really checks out with this POV the man keep's fantasizing of a queer man story and like he sure does get it. p207

LOOOOL oh no. the fact that the man who created these characters - VERY different than this experience. Has to listen to Binghe "If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand you intentions?" p208.

Not airplane giving LBH love advice just so cucumber bro can literally Get Fucked. pp212-213

AND THEN HIS ADVICE BACKFIRES WITH MOBEI-JUN LOL"So, if you want to be liked by a man, the best method is to act pathetic?" p214. Like he set this up for himself

Wait. Airplane had the option to return home! And he just didnt??? p217

Airplane really is weak for these villainous men. The way in which he describes Linguang-Jun is so simpy. p228

The drama. Airplane doing the MOST to save Mobei-jun. This man could have avoided all of this and just gone home. What a horrible torture! :( p235

Get it airplane! You yell at him ahaha p237-238

I AM SCREAMING. Airplane: I'm your daddy! p239 AND THEN him just leaving in a panic because he really thinks he's going to get murdered after that outburst LOL

I love SQQ sitting in domesticity with his man giving airplane love advice pp244-245

Awww, Mobei-Jun came back for his boyfriend! He's going to make him hand pulled noodles :'3 p255 I honestly think that Mobei-jun actually needed to be bossed around this entire time

BYE. LOL SGH deciding to continue writing in this world by basically writing slash fanfiction about LBH/SQQ + the other peak lords/famous cultivators LOL p256. Good for him ahaha.

We did it!

This chapter was such a ride ahaha. it was fun to see the POV for airplane but also him and the progression of his weird AF relationship with Mobei-jun. I honestly kind of love these two. They were such a mess in the beginning but it ended so soft :'3

[irrealisms]

svsss and sexual violence pt. 2: gender and homophobia

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this one's also got a CW for, well, homophobia and sexism. this section is approximately 1k.

(also: shoutout to @rooses40stepskincareroutine for motivating me to actually write all this out!)

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia (you are here) pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society

We talked in the previous post about how Shen Yuan begins the story oblivious to himself as a potential target for sexual violence, and that his realization that he is in danger of this is the same as his realization that he is a target of male sexual desire. One of the quotes I think about a lot here is a much later quote:

Yeah right! Like he’d dare share a room with Luo Binghe. A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight! His willingness to read a stallion novel like Proud Immortal Demon Way was rock-solid proof!

And--on the one hand, this is funny. I'm not going to say this isn't funny, because it is; we as the reader know that Shen Qingqiu is obviously not straight and that reading stallion novels does not actually make you straight. In light of this, his insistence that he is straight is funny!

But. There's also two other things going on here:

We all know the trope of the predatory gay man, right? Gay men (and queer people in general, though the specifics of this vary by sexuality/gender) are seen as inherently sexually predatory; you see this in the idea of gay men "converting" straight men and boys through rape/molestation, you see this in AIDS-era fears of HIV+ men who deliberately tried to spread HIV (often through rape) as much as possible, you see this in modern-day grooming panics. one of the most common ways homophobia manifests is this sort of idea--as a teenager, one of my friend's parents stopped letting me have sleepovers once they learned I was a lesbian, because they didn't want me sleeping in the same room as their daughter; you see stories of people kicking gay people out of changing rooms, of refusing to touch them/let them touch others, and generally isolating them from platonic intimacy with the same gender due to the specter of gay people being sexually predatory. Shen Qingqiu's narration very deliberately calls this to mind: A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. there's interesting things to say here about how mxtx interacts with this trope in her other two novels--lwj and hc are both definitely also engaging with this trope, though very differently--but i'll keep this post focused on scum villain.

however. as established in part one: luo binghe has in fact sexually assaulted and been sexually predatory towards shen qingqiu. between the kiss in the dream and here, we get two major moments: the first, where luo binghe admits he knew it was the real shen qingqiu and not a dream construct when he sexually assaulted SQQ in the dream, and the second, where luo binghe holds shen qingqiu down, tears off his clothes, and explicitly threatens to rape him. which...yes, luo binghe clarifies shortly after (when sqq starts dying) that he wasn't actually going to rape sqq, he just wanted to scare him. but, uh, holding someone down and then--while they try to fight--kissing them, tearing off their clothes, and telling them that you're going to rape them? that is still very much SA. so sqq's fears of LBH are ... well, they're justified, and they're coming from a place of trauma.

I... have some genuinely fairly mixed feelings about how MXTX handles this combination in SVSSS? right now i'm not actually doing very critical analysis of the text tbh, so i won't go into it, but i invite you to think about it for yourself about it!

that said, i have more things to say on other topics. specifically: SY thinks of himself as a straight man, and thus safe. but he's been put in a very feminized position by the narrative. he's constantly on the other end of LBH's wife plots, to the point where, in the extras, the culmination of their marriage involves LBH calling him "wife". the genre change is vital to understanding this--he's no longer a man in the real world, or even a man in a stallion novel; he's a shou in a danmei. (and while there's a lot of discourse on the feminization of bottoms in M/M, esp written by women, i want to emphasize that this isn't exclusive to chinese-language M/M--go read some omegaverse on ao3 to see some men being feminized by the narrative in much more extreme ways, without any of the interesting commentary on genre!) now, this is a role that is also very distinct from being a woman--especially on the doylist level, the [shou/uke/bottom] in M/M is generally written better and is more central to the narrative with fewer sexist tropes than the actual women in the story, and svsss is no exception to this--but it's still very distinctly feminized. something I think about in this regard is how his internet handle, "Peerless Cucumber", is misheard in SVSSS as "Peerless Chrysanthemum"--his name has been changed, by the setting, from something representing [penis/topping] to [anus/bottoming]. It's a representation of traditionally male bottoming, it represents the anus and not the vagina, but it's still a very literal emasculation of Shen Yuan by the setting of SVSSS! another sample quote:

In conclusion: So the female lead’s role was going to Shen Qingqiu again, huh?

this is also particularly interesting to me because of the ways SQQ is sexist, just like the previous quote is interesting because of how SQQ is homophobic. another quote, from earlier in the book:

He was a man, yet he had been forced to meekly tell another man that he would “submit to him,” in front of so many people. And above all, the other man was his former disciple, which made it even more frustrating and shameful.

again, we see his sexism and anxieties around masculinity being tied up in his anxieties around sexual abuse. he sees putting himself in a position where he's at risk for sexual abuse (because he is doing that, he has just learned that LBH knew he was real when sexually assaulting him in the dream, and he is now agreeing to submit & go home with him) as shameful. why? because he's a man. the implications that it's shameful for men to be sexually submissive or get sexually abused (which are conflated here and throughout the novel by SY, although other characters draw a distinction! but SY's views on ~kink, both D/s and S&M, while fascinating and very relevant to the bingqiu relationship and his relationship w queerness, would be thoroughly a tangent here--ask me if you want another post on the subject lol), because men should be "stronger" than that, but it would not be shameful for a woman, because women are supposed to submit to (and be sexually abused by) men, is left as an exercise for the reader. so ... he's being wildly sexist! but even here you can see he's being sexist because he's being emasculated. because he's being pushed into the "female" role, instead of the "male" one, and when it comes to sexual violence & the fear thereof, that's a dangerous place to be. once again, being a man doesn't protect him: a lesson he will keep learning.

there's more to say about gender & sexual violence in SVSSS about other characters, but that mostly gets addressed in the next post, except for my thoughts on gender that aren't about sexual abuse (i have a LOT of these--mostly about bing-ge vs bing-mei, but also about shen yuan's view of femininity as inherently degrading and painful, which the text does not agree with even as it does agree that the societal baggage of femininity often comes with sexual violence; again, ask me if you want another post about that, it would not be part of this meta series but i DO have things to say on it). thanks for reading this one!