#Shen Qingqiu is definitely straight

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 17

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's been a weekend!

I went to a wedding this weekend and my partner and I were on toddler babysitting duty. I naively thought I would be able to read a few chapters, but babies move fast yall. This was the only chapter I was able to read the entire time we were away.

I didn't even have a hot drink when I read it :'( But I did have this baby claim my lap (meet Winston).

Anyways- let's get into the chapter!!

ofc we start off this chapter with him waking up yet again with Tianlang-Jun. p113

Oh god, wait is the army marching to get rid of the sects with SQQ in their presence? Is this another way to frame SQQ?? Why would he just be with this army? p113

oh fuck, SQQ's arm. That's so rough oh no, the flowers really are growing. p114

and the means to take care of it is equally terrible. he has to BURN IT OFF. p115

Why is Luo Binghe's dad like this LOOOOL Him asking if SQQ fucked (Dual cultivated with) his son. pp116-117

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL Tianlang-jun humming the epic love ballad to SQQ. this man really is shipping these two hard. What a total weirdo (in the best of ways). p117

wait. he wants to MERGE two realms? How tf do you even do that? wouldnt that like fuck with spacetime or something? p119

Oof what a horrible sounding relationship that was between Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan. I hope we learn more about these two because it is really a bizarre dynamic they had. I feel like this guy just fetishizes humans p121

ooo! How did Luo Binghe arrive here? bro just shows up in the middle of a war camp. is it a dream? Either way LOL we have yet another absolutely wild kiss pp122-123

AND THEN SQQ not even being mad about Luo Binghe force kissing him- instead being mad that Luo Binghe gave Tianlang-jun Xin Mo LOL p123

Why is Luo Binghe so stupid XD not a thought in that boys head about consequences or anything. Like my dude, there is about to be an entire war and you seem to not give a shit. pp124-125

RIP hahahahaha hiding luo binghe in his bed p125

and Luo Binghe being Big Mad about ZZL "coming in while Shizun is sleeping" p125

NOT THE MISUNDERSTANDING. "we agreed on this" " agreed on what??" p126

OMG this scene is an entire comedy of errors LOL we have SQQ sitting on Luo Binghe on his bed with ZZL there. p129

OMG NOW TIANLANG-JUN IS THERE. He thinks ZZL and SQQ are fucking but that SQQ is also fucking his son. This guy must fully think SQQ is the biggest man whore. p131

AND NOW HE'S IN THE CUCK CHAIR BYE. "I don't mind, continue." p133

Tianlang-jun is having an entire conversation with SQQ while Luo Binghe is hidden beside/underneath just trying not to murder Zhuzhi-lang. p134 This is WILD.

Liu Qingge is actually going to get himself killed at this rate. He couldn't beat Luo Binghe the lesser demon, and here he is openly challenging Tianlang-jun. p136

oh no! so it was zhuzhi-lang who killed Gongyi Xiao :( p142

Liu Qingge "are you together?" SQQ: "it's complicated" p144

Wait- what's wrong with Luo Binghe? pp149-150

oh god. is Liu Qingge concerned for SQQ's virtue XD Is this going to be another "SQQ is a slut" rumour- like is someone going to see the three of them go into a room together? Though I am here for the SQQ is not actually a hoe but becomes the universes biggest rumoured hoe agenda. p152

Luo Binghe- I'm paying and - oh no- I only have enough for 2 rooms p153

SQQ forcing the two of them to have a room together while he takes his own. Just totally leaving them to fight one another about it XD p154

"Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight!" p155 okay buddy I believe you

SO many notifications form the system! threshold exceeded for satisfaction points, "high energy ahead", satisfaction point report monthly (LOL I presume he is going to have one hell of a shock when he sees). pp156-157

Knock Knock Knock

WHO IS IT THO?

[a-fire-that-isnt-burning]

yeah I have no idea WHAT he was thinking so your guess is as good as mine

Haven't actually read scum villain yet but i'm pretty sure this is sqq.

Friends who have read svsss please weigh in.

[bambooswordwielder]

Obsessed with the fact that Shen Yuan only transmigrates when all the Peaklords have settled into their positions for a few years because the idea of Shang Qinghua being stuck watching Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge arguing for nth time about some budget detail that is DEFINITELY getting overblown now and just being stuck thinking

"Damn this would've been such a good enemies to lovers plot line... Imagine how much I could've made off of them..." and regretting not monetising their rivalry more before he killed off Liu Qingge ( "Oh and the angst Shen Qingqiu would've faced after his secret lover died and everyone blamed him for it! Fans would've been begging for more extras!" 🐹💔)

Like all the peaklords are desperately trying to mediate and fix the situation and Shang Qinghua is just imagining his one hundredth Fix-It Fic/AU where Shen Jiu is the King's trusted scholar and Liu Qingge is the King's personal bodyguard

Everyone thinks when a single tear falls from Shang Qinghua's eyes its because during Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu's fight they destroyed both his newly drafted budget (for the fifth time that month) and the fact they also destroyed the table (for the third time that week and the week just started)

Reality is Shang Qinghua is crying because he thought of an angsty death scene for the two Romeo and Juliet style because both their families couldn't accept them being together

Years of this pass and at some point he even picks up writing again (specifically about characters clearly based on Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge) and he gets really popular, popular enough his novels start to flood all of Cang Qiong and even Liu Mingyan takes some inspiration from them

Everyone knows damn well that the characters are clearly meant to be Peaklord Shen and Peaklord Liu, but no one tells because they all are legitimately waiting for the next volume of "Battle-to-your-poisonous-heart-and-peaches"

Does everyone know it's Shang Qinghua... Noooo.. Would anyone admit if they did know.... No.

Then all the sudden on day Shen Qingqiu suddenly looked in the dictionary and discovered what the word 'nice' is and now he doesn't abuse his students 🐹🤯

He even let himself get poisoned and potentially ruined his cultivation for life for Luo Binghe of all people!? Um excuse Airplane Logic, but the MC is supposed to only get all the good stuff AFTER he falls into the abyss!

And what's this about Liu Qingge helping to 'clear' his meridians so he has to personally visit Qing Jing peak every week?? Def something is off, an author knows fishy when he sees it

For how many years Shang Qinghua is stuck watching these two do their whole "You're my precious Shidi" and "I'll always be here for you" act and he's just stuck eating dogfood wondering when exactly is the marriage extra coming in and why the System won't tell me why Shen Qingqiu is acting all happy go lucky now

Shang Qinghua notices Shen Qingqiu talking to Yue Qingyuan more, he notices Qing Jing disciples running straight to Shen Qingqiu with joy and excitement rather than the reserved fear they had before, he notices how Shen Qingqiu only glares at him twice every meeting than before!

Maybe this isn't his version of PIDW, maybe it's a fan made version where Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu fall in love and with the power of love and friendship Shen Qingqiu learns to be kind and to care and isn't going to cause Luo Binghe to go down his dark path and maybe they can all have a happyily ever after—

*Endless Abyss Arc*

"Oh fuck–"

[Before Endless Abyss Arc]

*Shang Qinghua watching from a distance as Luo Binghe is practically clinging to Shen Qingqiu's side. Shen Qingqiu pats Luo Binghe's head and Luo Binghe does THAT smile he only does for his wives*

"Well this is an interesting fanfic..."

[After Airplane Reveal]

"Wait... So you're actually a transmigrater as well, Cucumber-Bro?"

"Yeah, and?"

"..."

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Do you hate, or have you at least at some point hated, Liu Qingge?"

"I– No–Wait what???"

"Let me reword it. Have you ever considered murdering him at one point?"

"WHYAREYOUASKINGMETHESEQUESTIONS!? YOUKNOWWHATHAPPENEDTOSHENJIU! IMNOTRISKINGHISFATE!"

"... So I'll take that as a no."

"OBVIOUSLY!?"

"So it's just a normal Friends to lovers 😮‍💨 No flavour 🙄"

Shang Qinghua was then brutally attacked.

[During the Five Years SY was dead]

*Shang Qinghua watching Liu Qingge go every single day to fight Luo Binghe for Shen Qingqiu's body*

"Oh my Airplane.... It's not a enemies-to-lovers... It's not Teacher X Disciple... It's a bloody love triangle with both! Oh how much money this plot would've made me 💔 I would've been able to pay for four months worth of rent and groceries!"

Random Disciple visiting An Ding: "Um.... Is Shang-Shibo okay? He fell on the ground?"

An Ding Disciple: "Leave him. He does that sometimes. Now about your budget request..."

*Shang Qinghua screaming in the background*

Random Disciple: "..."

An Ding Disciple: "..."

Random Disciple: "Should we check on–"

An Ding Disciple, now dragging other disciple away: "Let's settle this at your peak."

Years later when Bingqiu have already had their wedding and everyone has become somewhat tolerant of their relationship, Shang Qinghua just sighs loudly and Shen Yuan asks him what's up. Shang Qinghua looks him in the eyes and just shakes his head.

"My ship...💔"

"..."

"OW– Why did you have go hit me on the head!?"

"Because I don't want to know what's going on in there and I need to make sure what's in there stays in there."

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a situation where SQQ gets a look at Luo Binghe's package (post-Abyss but pre-Maigu Ridge, or in an AU where Maigu Ridge doesn't happen) through like, the outline of his pants or whatever (maybe Binghe took a wardrobe tip from Jareth of Labyrinth), and then got to thinking about how huge Luo Binghe's meat is, like in an actually non-sexual way this time just his brain gets onto a tangent about a bunch of scenes from PIDW where the descriptions varied wildly, and then he starts wondering about exactly what size it is, because to go by the novel's descriptions it's either bigger than average but not insane or there's another arm stuffed into that codpiece somehow. Surely it's closer to the former than the latter? SQQ doesn't have any other evidence that physical limitations in this world are that different from his own world, but then again, would it come up in any of his conversations if women in this world have sufficiently cavernous vaginas for damn near every virgin Bingge met to accommodate a dick that big? Does it at least make childbirth easier? He hasn't exactly polled anyone on it, so it could be the case. But what about the back door, so to speak? There were a few sex scenes that went in that direction, forbidden tunnel of love type stuff and it was all incredibly bad and cheesy, but of course, SQQ actually has a "back door" too and surely he would notice if it was possible to stick his own arm up it. Although it's also not as if he's tried, and as a peak lord with a fantasy metabolism he doesn't actually have to take a shit either, his body processes everything extremely efficiently and it's been years since... well anyway it's not like he's had occasion to investigate it much, now that he's thinking about it. Maybe he can? Not that this is relevant information to anything though and given the inconsistencies the probable limitations of the numerous people PIDW Binghe had sex with, his package, though prodigious, is probably not actually that big of a weapon. How could he even comfortably keep it contained otherwise...? Etc etc etc.

Meanwhile the entire time he's having this internal spiel, he's just... staring. At Luo Binghe's dick. Really blatantly. It doesn't even occur to him that he's doing something incriminating about his interests or possible attraction precisely because he's not, for once, getting flustered about it (much) but is in fact genuinely vexed by the mystery. This is not so much a case of imagining Luo Binghe's dick as wondering about fantasy physiology. So he's lost track of where his gaze has wandered.

The longer it goes on for though the more flustered Luo Binghe gets though. Like, should he say something? Is this a prelude to Shizun making a move? Is there... something wrong with it? Why is he staring so intently? Is Shizun aware that he has just been looking straight at Luo Binghe's dick for almost ten minutes now...? He should definitely say something, right? Maybe this is his chance! Or maybe he should wait and see what Shizun does next? Should he try a line? Something suave? Ask if he wants to see it! Shizun can absolutely see Binghe's dick if he wants to! No wait, but what if Shizun is planning on making a move and he ruins it by being impatient? He should wait and see where this is going.

...How long is it going to take, though...?

Luo Binghe's brain frazzles between trying to decide if he should make a move or prepare to be receptive towards one, or maybe check and make sure his dick hasn't turned into tentacle or something without him noticing, while Shen Qingqiu slooowly (very slowly) begins to realize that yes, he has been staring at Luo Binghe's dick while lost in thought for such a long time that now it's weird. It's definitely weird. He should look away now, at once, except now if he stops staring at Binghe's dick it's going to end whatever stalemate this is and he's probably going to have to explain why he was ogling it in the first place, and he definitely cannot explain anything, so he just keeps staring while furiously trying to think of a non-gay explanation for why he's now glaring intensely at Luo Binghe's crotch.

...He can't think of anything. Oh god. This is a disaster. Luo Binghe is going to kill him for being a perve!

(Good luck, Binghe.)

[zykamiliah]

What kind of skeletons do you think are in SY's closet?

so the context for that is the conversation he's having with sqh, when the latter asks him if he sees lbh as "the apple of his eyes" and adored him as his "darling baby and disciple", going on on how sqq had been "out of his mind with grief, his thoughts wandering all over the place", according to th qjp disciples, and how he would call lbh's name and stand at the sword mound and "sigh in sorrow" (lmao if it weren't for the qjp disciples gossiping about it we would NEVER learned of what was going on with sqq post-IAC)

then sqh asks the million dollars question

“Cucumber-bro, can I ask, how did you see Luo Binghe? I remember you were one of his fans, right? You roasted a huge number of the characters I wrote, but even so, you never roasted him. To you, is he a character, or is he a…”

and sqq panics in his mind and thinks that sqh's interrogation was similar in tone to "high-school girls gossiping in the dorms after lights-out":

“Tell me! Do you have a crush on ___?” “N-no, what are you talking about!” “Dodging the question~ Don’t be shy O(∩_∩)O ha ha~” “I hate you, go to bed!” Lightning. Lightning from the nine heavens! Shang Qinghua was in fact innocent. He was honestly asking and was interested in discussing the matter. It was Shen Qingqiu who was overthinking the skeletons in his closet.

sqh was not asking if sqq had gay feelings/a crush on lbh, yet sqq's mind immediately jumped to that assumption lol you don't do that if you're straight lol and it definitely feels like it's a situation he's been before, where he's had to suppress and hide from himself his feelings for men. he even (mentally or otherwise) slaps himself when he's having what he deems "inappropriate" thoughts about binghe and/or his relationship with binghe

He was scaring his disciples, putting on the act of a grieving widow whose husband had just died. Hadn’t it been only a couple of days since he’d last seen that child? No! Bah! Shen Qingqiu mentally slapped himself. Who are you calling a grieving widow?! Whose husband died?! That’s not something you should just say—you’re really getting worse by the day. A negative mindset produces nothing good. You deserve a slap! ch4. conference

and then later in the borderlands when he thinks about what name lbh would have if he'd been born in the demon realm

(...)then Luo Binghe might as well be…Heavenly Pillar-Jun? Ha ha ha ha, fuck! Luo Heavenly Pillar! Ha ha ha ha, how painfully exhilarating! Shen Qingqiu had been laughing for a while when he abruptly slapped himself. The fuck is wrong with you?! Getting carried away, using the Great Master protagonist to come up with a tasteless dirty joke in your head! What’s funny about this? Don’t you get that some people are off-limits for your crass humor?!

he's just...very repressed 🫠

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu can fight. We've established he can fight and he knows how to throw a punch

Shang Qinghua despite his modus operandi can also fight when needed and can definitely throw a punch

But I just know in my gut that if those two got into it they would go straight for grade school antics of hair pulling, biting, and ineffective but still vicious kicking

Shen Qingqiu would go so far as to pin Shang Qinghua down in order to hock a loogie on him and Shang Qinghua would retaliate with a wet willy or something

There is something in their souls that means when they get into a physical altercation with eachother they turn into children

[megapocalypse]

.

I think Shen Yuan's reluctance to accept his own feelings and emotions is the crux of why he unintentionally hurt LBH, or at least I think it's allegorical for something similar. He's a neurodivergent 20 something year old who's in the closet and represses his emotions, he's definitely not a guy to be trusted by words but rather action.

When he doesn't want to come to terms with something he either denies it, doesn't think about it, or pretends it's because of something else.

(if we wanna take this further off tangent onto an analysis of depression: I relate to these feelings quite a bit. Mental health issues are a work in progress within society, and when you feel that way you expect there's supposed to be a "reason" for feeling that way.

You have a good life, a good family and home, so why are you feeling this way? Why aren't you happy? Why do you feel different? You don't want to be different.

Shen Yuan could be feeling this way, but he wouldn't say it, or think about it, because even if he is, he doesn't want to be so he just won't be.)

Oh he's depressed? No he isn't. He's gay for Binghe? Nope, he's as straight as an arrow he just appreciates Binghe's dick from time to time like a normal heterosexual male. He's crying? No see it's just the sun in his eyes or the pain he felt earlier. His balls hurt looking at Binghe? Oh man it must be because of the cold room or the fear.

Oh he keeps dying? (Crickets)

Nobody wants to be different. Shen Qingqiu wants to be normal and he'll tell you he's normal. But he's not normal. That guy's a fucking weirdo.

Because he refuses to acknowledge his own feelings and depersonalizes, he in turn fails to acknowledge his own surroundings and his effect on people.

The transmigration aspect is taking the allegorical to the literal, he sees people and his surroundings as characters, through the story he learns not only of the effect he has on these "characters" who are now real people in his eyes, but this also coincides with him coming to terms with his own hang ups, his feelings, and his sexuality.

Because of his own lack of acknowledgement towards his own feelings and the way he evades those emotions, he hurts Binghe in the process. It's only when he learns to acknowledge the change he caused within Binghe and his feelings he had for Binghe, that's when they can finally mend their relationship.

Anyway both of them are deranged but they're deranged together 💞. They're both so fucked but fucked enough to the point that the mess tangles up in odd places and weirdly enough those pieces just end up fitting.

See, the strange and almost voyeuristic dynamic they play up where the crybaby disciple gets himself lightly scolded and comforted by his teachermommy is healthy for them. In a very strange and fucked up Freudian way.

And you need to understand, the uncomfortable milf and little baby roleplay they do in public is, in fact, very productive for their relationship and it's vital everybody and their grandmother is watching them, see, it's very therapeutic actually

Wait where are you going

[afsosville]

An extension to the PIDW x Ever After High AU

The first post was pretty short so I'm going to put it here too.

For clarity, the 'parents' in this AU are the OG PIDW characters, and will go by their courtesy name, and the children are an AU version of them and have their birth name (so SQQ is the parent and SJ is the kid, YQY is the parent and YQ is the kid, LBG, is the parent, and  LBM is the kid, or at least a more mentally stable version of Bingmei? etc) 

SJ is pretty much fanon SJ, and a very mellowed out version of him, since in this AU, he didn't end up as a slave. Still traumatized tho. I like my Shen Jius traumatized. Shen Jiu is Raven in this AU, and he DOES NOT like his destiny. That's putting it lightly. NO ONE is happy. YQ doesn't want to be forced to abandon SJ and go through a horrifying qi deviation in the Lingxi Caves. And have his little brother's severed legs be sent to him as a present one day, and walk to his death the next. Yikes. Liu Mingyu doesn't want to die prematurely and have his shixiong be falsely accused of his murder. And Binghe doesn't like it either because he had a better childhood too, and is, well, disturbed, by the shit his father did, and the fate that's written for him. Binghe has his issues and he's that one quote "My father is the worst man alive and I am his favourite son". Like he knows the shit his dad did was completely unhinged. Him and the Book of Legends bear most of his hatred, and he never really has anything against Shen Jiu.

Everything just sorta revolves around everyone finding out what kinda person 'Shen Qingqiu' really is, along with the defying destiny thing Ever After High had going on. All the kids are just getting along far better than any of their parents did. The other mxtx characters are in here too, Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, Wen Ning, etc. 

LBG is totally going to be here too. He's acting all creepy towards SJ, like this mf is so close to tearing his off limbs too, and he's really tryna hold himself back. And he's fully planning to torture him too once his son puts Shen Jiu is the water prison because his SQQ is already dead. When he sees SJ in the flesh, he's eying him in a way that screams "I'm going to own you and there's little stopping me from having you in chains like your father." SJ is not so subtly hiding behind LBM, while LBM is so ready to fight his father to the death for SJ. 

The OG PLs from PIDW will definitely have some fucking regrets and will try to make it up to SJ coz the person they actually wronged is long dead (or is he?). And the peak lord kids are running interference everytime their parents want to get close to SJ, with maybe the exception of SQH and LQG. OG! LQG is alive because. Well I'll think of smt later. Plant body revival???? 

QHT has a son and a daughter who are supposed to be QJL and QHT, as is their so-called destiny. During Legacy Day, the kid that's supposed to end up like QJL sees flashes of his uncle's life and ofc he'll end up seeing the abuse SQQ endured under him. It is at that moment, what really happened in the Qiu manor was revealed. QHT's son is actually a chill dude who hates his destiny too and hates his uncle even more. SJ and QHT's kids are cool with each other, and this pisses off QHT so much lol.

Now more onto SQQ.

This mf is ALIVE and KICKING. And by that I mean he absolutely did pull mushroom body getaway and did some serious demonic cultivator bullshit to animate his dead body like some voodoo god. LBG was straight up torturing a corpse lol. SQQ originally didn't want to sign either but decided to do it anyway because he knew LBG definitely wanted to. SQQ thought that he should legitimately try to kill him so he doesn't turn into that. SQQ knew that ofc he would ultimately die in the end, but thought his villain halo could still try to do some damage to LBG, and to prevent his rise to power, and work against the destiny he signed at the same time. Obviously, the protagonist still had to come out on top and SQQ failed miserably. So. Mushroom getaway>>

Listen, those mushrooms were obviously supposed to be used in the OG PIDW. and somehow weren't iirc. And it was supposed to be used by a villain. So yes, SQQ's generation does end up being PIDW complacent. Except SQQ is a smartass and is living his life away from any destiny bullshit rn.

SJ/LBM will reunite with SQQ.

SQQ will end up liking LBM but he's still a mother hen, so he'll be giving him a really hard time before he's ready to let him anywhere near his son.

SQQ was separated from his son until this point. The name SQQ meant to give him was Jiu, as in turtledove. Which has this whole meaning of 'enduring love'. He meant for SJ to not turn out like him and to live out his best life despite what life throws at him. I absolutely love the fics where the author makes the Jiu in Shen Jiu be the character for turtledove. And with SQQ-J taking care of his younger self in a way. SQQ and SJ are going to have the fluffiest father-son relationship because I deem it to be so. Unlike LBG and LBM, my badd:/ Have fun with those daddy issues, buddy.

Within the chaos that is SQQ's mind, he really did not regret doing what he did to LBG, but y'know, having some time to himself while he was on his sabbatical, he learnt a few things about himself, and how he used LBG's future self to justify trying to kill smn who otherwise didn't do anything wrong (yet). And the fact that things could've turned out better if he truly went with his heart and hadn't signed the book like his son will HAUNT HIM. Sure LBG may or may not have wanted his destiny but SQQ definitely didn't!! He could've fucked up his story by not signing it just the same!! This is totally not eating him up alive!! Yup!! He just haddddd to sign it and thought be could kill LBG to avoid future devastation. Said future devastation still came to pass lol. RIP SQQ's sanity, I truly feel for you.

Let me make this worse. LBG didn't want to sign it either and was peer pressured into doing it. He genuinely thought he could reason with SQQ after Legacy Day and tell him he really didn't want them to hurt each other. And he was so sure SQQ felt the same way, he could've sworn they were on the same page- but then he saw how determined SQQ was to sign the Book of Legends on Legacy Day. And when SQQ's hardened gaze locked in on LBG, he met SQQ's eyes, promising a future of pain for them both. LBG ignores the way his heart shatters at the resolution.

Look, enemies to lovers BingJiu is fine and all, but consider LOVERS to ENEMIES BINGJIU!!! I'm just imagining BingJiu animatics in head with Taylor Swift's Bad Blood egckfxv.,

Coz yes, even the prev B9 gen totally had smt going on. Too bad for them tho, it ain't happening.

The rest is stuff from the first post >>>

Imagine how fucked up it would be if Shen Jiu is up there doing the book signing ceremony that seals his destiny of becoming the next 'Shen Qingqiu', and the mirrors display him getting thrown away by his martial siblings at the trial, and his limbs being torn off and other despicable tortures, and being brought down so low that your humanity is stripped away from you, all for an audience to see. And they cheer. The crowd is ecstatic, perhaps even more so than when his father, Shen Qingqiu, was put on trial.

 Shen Jiu x Pain is my favourite ship, can you tell??

Shen Jiu is barely 15 when this happens and every goddamn person is reveling in this child getting tortured. Amidst the sea of people who loathe him, there is one person not advocating for his death, and that is LBH’s son!! The very person that’s supposed to kill him!!! When LBM sees the same hopelessness that he feels in SJ’s eyes, he decides at that moment that he will be SJ’s number one defender. Everything else be damned. When SJ announces that he will not be pledging to a life of misery, LBM gets up on that stage and makes it clear that he won’t either. 

OML I did smt cool. You see the parallel I just fucking made wowwwwww.

Snippets that my mutes made for this AU 🩷🩷🩷

By Sleepyssnail

By Celestialbruise

Og post

[masiethewriter]

Honored Eternal Path of Demise CH. 21 - Wake-Up Call

Luo Binghe is checking the bricks in the wall, tapping them with the crowbar. On occasion he uses it to check for any loose hold. Shen Qingqiu stares at him with empty eyes until Luo Binghe finally finds the spot. Using the crowbar to pull the brick loose, he manages to catch it before it falls to the floor. Carefully, he puts it down without a sound.  The hole that is left in the wall isn't wide. It is quite deep, enough that Luo Binghe has to stick his entire arm inside before he finds what is hidden inside. 

First Chapter ~~ Previous Chapter ~~ AO3 Link

“Senior, please. Before you assume anything, let me explain. I promise it isn’t what you think-”

Shen Qingqiu finds it quite fascinating to observe Luo Binghe at this very moment. The words he says are quite similar to just prior, but the way he behaves is anything but.

Before, Luo Binghe had been stuttering and embarrassed. He hadn’t dared to step closer to Shen Qingqiu, instead hiding away as he tried to explain himself. His face had been flustered and he had moved around as if didn’t know what to do with himself.

The current Luo Binghe’s words are clear. He is quick to take hold of Shen Qingqiu’s arms, holding them close and forcing them to keep eye contact. His face has gone pale and he stands completely still like the rock of a mountain.

Both instances are of Luo Binghe feeling guilty. Both have regret leaking out like oil from a rotten barrel. But one guilt is expressed like a cluttered apology from an accidental mishap. The other is the bad consciousness of someone who knows they did something wrong.

“When did you take my glasses?” Shen Qingqiu ask, surprised by his own voice. He wasn't even trying to sound like the original goods. 

For some reason he finds it very easy to stay in character right now.

“I…” Luo Binghe hesitates. He should have expected Shen Qingqiu to ask him directly. He gathers his thoughts and then explains in a low voice. “Right after we ran from the Killer the first time. When I took your jacket to bandage your foot, I noticed them in your pocket. You were so out of it, I decided to keep them safe for you.”

Shen Qingqiu nods. That makes sense. That was right after his foot got in an intimate relationship with the Killers axe, so Luo Binghe could have easily taken his glasses without him noticing. His entire memory of the incident is a bit muddy, so he can understand why Luo Binghe thought it would be a good idea to keep them safe.

Then he asks the second question on his mind.

“And why didn’t you give them back to me?”

“That is- I wasn’t- So much was-" Luo Binghe starts. He tries a few more attempts before he drops his shoulders and gives the weakest excuse known to man. "I forgot..."

“You forgot. I see.” Shen Qingqiu says, staring straight at Luo Binghe. The shame is definitely catching up to the other man, as he is suddenly unable to meet his gaze. instead his eyes cast downwards.

Shen Qingqiu knows Luo Binghe is a better liar than that. His excuse being so pitiful is almost enough to make him believe it. The problem is that he is too aware of exactly how smart Luo Binghe is. Even if he forgot about the glasses when they were studying the drawing back at the Killer’s hut, he would definitely have remembered them once Shen Qingqiu had asked him to read the diary for him.

Is he really meant to believe that note after note of Luo Binghe reading for him, that not a single time did the man remember that he had Shen Qingqiu’s glasses right in his back pocket? Never did he question why Shen Qingqiu wasn’t able to read the pages himself?

He could ask Luo Binghe. He could confront him with every instance it would have made sense for him to return the glasses. He could point out how obvious an issue it had been for Shen Qingqiu to have been unable to properly see. There is much Shen Qingqiu could say where it would be quite interesting to see Luo Binghe try to explain himself.

But why do that when he knows exactly why Luo Binghe didn’t return his glasses?

A lot has happened since he and Luo Binghe first left the mansion together. They have been through much. Lives have been in danger and strong emotions have been felt. So really, it is no wonder that Shen Qingqiu this easily became complaisant and began acting friendly with Luo Binghe.

He had forgotten that it is literally in Luo Binghe’s code to detest Shen Qingqiu.

Of course, Shen Qingqiu isn’t claiming this is some larger plot from Luo Binghe’s side. He properly isn’t even fully aware of why he did it. At this point in time Luo Binghe doesn’t even remember having met Shen Qingqiu before. And he definitely has yet to find out that Shen Qingqiu is behind all his misery from before the mansion.

Luo Binghe has yet to find any reason to hate him. If he had, he would not have risked his own life on so many occasions to save Shen Qingqiu’s.

Instead, it is likely something much simpler. Luo Binghe took his glasses on a whim when keeping him from dying back then. Maybe he did forget to return the glasses back at the Killer’s hut.

But at some point he remembered. At some point he found that watching Shen Qingqiu flounder around, blind and disabled, was worth the amusement. That he enjoyed seeing this person, that he is predisposed to hate, being vulnerable and weak. That even while he is too kind to leave this distasteful scum villain of a senior to his death, at least he can get some entertainment.

Really, it is all Shen Qingqiu’s own fault that he forgot Luo Binghe and him are meant to be nothing but enemies.

He has no excuse for why it feels like someone reached into his chest and pulled out his heart only to replace it with a block of ice.

It's just...

He had truly been enjoying his and Luo Binghe's comradery...

“Senior, I am truly sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. If there is anything I can do to make you forgive me, please tell me.” Luo Binghe says. He might have been talking for a while, but Shen Qingqiu wasn’t listening. 

Now he is back in the present. He calmly looks at Luo Binghe as he lifts his hands. With stiff fingers he grabs him by the wrists. There is resistance at first when he calmly pushes Luo Binghe's arms away.

"What does Luo Binghe mean? There is clearly nothing to forgive. As you said, you simply forgot."

Hearing Shen Qingqiu's words, Luo Binghe does not look reassured in the slightest. In fact, he looks more stricken, as if Shen Qingqiu hadn't just let him off easy. For some reason he is even paler and he opens his mouth to speak. Likely trying to give another excuse. 

Shen Qingqiu turn his back to him.

He limps back until he can sit down by the edge of the wardrobe. He places himself right by the strobe of light coming from the hallway, trying to find the least painful position he can manage. Then he brings forth the note he was going to show Luo Binghe.

"What... What is Senior doing...?" Luo Binghe haltingly asks. Standing by himself in the dark he somehow looks smaller and more lost than Shen Qingqiu has ever seen him.

"Seeing as I am still a burden, I will have to rely on Luo Binghe to find the loose rock the note mentioned. Meanwhile, since I got my glasses back, I will be just fine reading any future diary pages by myself," Shen Qingqiu explains. He wasn't going to say more than that, but in the end he can't hold back a final comment. "That must certainly be a relief for Luo Binghe. I know you didn't particularly care for these pages."

Luo Binghe looks as if he has been hit. Shen Qingqiu should be feeling satisfied like this, but he honestly just feels empty. Maybe a bit disappointed. It doesn't really matter. As Binghe hesitantly goes over to pick up his dropped crowbar, Shen Qingqiu returns to the note in his hand. 

"Oh god. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. It was all an accident, I swear! I didn't know it was even there! I heard the crunch and I immediately stopped what I was doing, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do. How do I tell him? How can I possibly tell him? He trusted me with it and now it is like this! I haven't been able to make myself go out to the forest since it happened. I am sorry. I am so, so very sorry."

Now that he again has his glasses, he is able to see the two darker spots on the page. The paper more stiff. Like someone spilled water on it. He just stares at the words on the page. Not really registering what they mean. 

None of this is real anyway.

He had known that the story of the diary would at one point turn unpleasant. He even had his suspicions it would be something akin to this. No reason to act surprised. It is just a coincidence he had to reach the bad parts when already in a bad mood.

Rotten luck and all that. 

Luo Binghe is checking the bricks in the wall, tapping them with the crowbar. On occasion he uses it to check for any loose hold. Shen Qingqiu stares at him with empty eyes until Luo Binghe finally finds the spot.

Using the crowbar to pull the brick loose, he manages to catch it before it falls to the floor. Carefully, he puts it down without a sound. 

The hole that is left in the wall isn't wide. It is quite deep, enough that Luo Binghe has to stick his entire arm inside before he finds what is hidden inside. 

For a second, Shen Qingqiu worries that some trap will activate and something horrible will happen. But as he remembers that Luo Binghe is immune to permanent injury, he returns to his detached state. 

Luo Binghe brings his arm back out safely, holding a folded piece of paper. He brings it over for Shen Qingqiu to see, but then something small falls out from between the folds.

Luo Binghe Picks it up. It reveals itself to be a key. A very small and fine key. Clearly not made for any heavy doors or solid chests.

It does appear to be the perfect size for the safe in the office.   

Luo Binghe looks towards Shen Qingqiu, excitement in his eyes. Whatever expression he finds on Shen Qingqiu's face is quick to kill it off, though. Instead, as he walks over, he sits down on his knees, a respectful distance between them as he hands over the paper.

Shen Qingqiu folds it out and they find it is another kid drawing.

[DRAWING]

There is nothing that immediately stands out to him. It is likely the same drawing as the one mentioned in the note, the depiction of a woman, child and cat making it obvious. What use this drawing can be to them is an entirely different matter though.

Shen Qingqiu keeps thinking of the locked chest in the servants bedroom. It had a cat, a mushroom and a heart scratched into it. That is two out of three symbols that match with the drawing. The cat being obvious and the mushrooms matching the basket the maid is holding.

Now, for the heart he can't immediately see anything that fits. And even if he did, he is not sure how any of it would fit the number order of the lock. If the drawing is actually a hint, then there is something else he needs to figure out the numbers. 

As he muses over the puzzle, Luo Binghe speaks up.

"Senior, I would like to go back to the office. I feel like there has to be something of use in that safe."

"Hmm," Shen Qingqiu hums in agreement, his attention still on the drawing. He makes no move to get up, mostly seeing as he isn't quite able to thanks to his arm and leg.

Luo Binghe also doesn't immediately move. He stays kneeling, staring at Shen Qingqiu who refuses to turn his head his way. After a long enough pause, with tension thick enough to get stuck in their throats, he realizes he won't be getting what he seeks. He stands back up and looks down at Shen Qingqiu with eyes concealed by the darkness.

"I will grab a candle first," he says, voice low, as he leaves the room. 

Once Luo Binghe is in the hallway, Shen Qingqiu lowers the drawing with a sigh. He has no idea how he is supposed to act. This was a wake up call, a reveal that made it clear he has not lived up to the role of the scum villain which he is meant to play. It has been such a long time since he behaved like the original goods that now it feels all wrong to do so. He had no problem with it when they just left the mansion. So why does he suddenly want to scratch off his skin and reshuffle his organs when dealing with Luo Binghe?

With another annoyed sigh, he puts the drawing in his pocket. That is when he feels something else that he didn't expect. He pulls it out and finds it is the picture he took from the office.

Now wearing his glasses, he can see each person with perfect clarity. It is immediately clear that these are workers of the mansion, though they all appear to be higher rank than the common maid or gardening boy. 

Out of everyone, there are two people he recognizes. They stand side by side, one wearing a form fitting dress and the other a black vest over a cotton shirt and trousers. Though instead of looking at their child with disdain, they now look towards the photographer. 

The woman's expression is still full of contempt. This time though, the man appears more natural. Fitting much better in with the rest of his colleagues.

Below the image is written out the names of each person. The order of the names matching with the order of the people. As expected, Shen Qingqiu does not recognize most of them, but one stands out. 

The final name must be that of the recognized man, him standing as the last person in the line. Which means the name before his must be that of his wife. But noticeable, her name is the only one scratched over. Thin red lines going back and forth until it is impossible to read what it says underneath.

Shen Qingqiu honestly doesn't know what that means. But it feels like this isn't a random coincidence. He is finding hints that didn't exist in his first playthrough and they must add something to the story. If only he could figure out what it is...

He isn't given more time to consider. Luo Binghe returns and this time he doesn't try to placate Shen Qingqiu. He doesn't even question what the other is looking at, quietly helping him up. Shen Qingqiu pockets the photo and then throws his good arm over Luo Binghe's shoulder. Luo Binghe hesitates for only another second before they are on their way.

It is easy to go back the way they came. With the map from earlier, they are no longer really in any danger of getting lost. Shen Qingqiu mostly zones out, letting Luo Binghe lead. Feeling his skin so close to his, his itchy skin and rustling stomach makes a return. He really wants to be anywhere other than here. He needs time to figure out how he feels about this. Whether he needs to lay a new plan or stay with Luo Binghe.

It may seem like he doesn't have much of a choice at the moment. If he could be alone long enough without any disturbances, he might come up with an alternative. Luo Binghe has certainly shown teaming up with him does come with certain risks. The challenge is that Shen Qingqiu isn't quite able to determine what exactly those risks are yet.

If he stays with Luo Binghe, will it worsen? Or since Luo Binghe has now been caught, will he play nice from now on? He has no reason to go beyond subtle manipulations as of yet, so maybe Shen Qingqiu should play it safe and stay with him?

Really, when he truly thinks about it, haven't the good greatly outweighed the bad when teaming up with Luo Binghe? Isn't Luo Binghe saving his life time and time again worth more than one case of not returned glasses?

Why is Shen Qingqiu so stuck on this? It makes no sense! Ning Yingying directly stabbed him to death and he was able to forgive her relatively easily! So why does what Luo Binghe did feel so much more personal?

Shen Qingqiu needs to get himself together. It doesn't matter, they will just have to open the safe in the office, avoid it's trap, get to the library and then find the secret passage to the upper floor-

Suddenly Luo Binghe stops. Just a bit further ahead is the door to the office, but like a rock, Luo Binghe refuses to move. He stares straight ahead for a second, taking a deep breath before he turns his head to face Shen Qingqiu.

"Senior. I really think we need to talk," he says, his voice sounding more open and vulnerable than Shen Qingqiu has heard in a long time. Maybe not since Luo Binghe thanked him for saving his life back in the shed?

"I don't see what we have to talk about," Shen Qingqiu does not return his gaze, trying to keep his eyes on the office door. 

"But I do. And I don't want us to continue with bad blood between us."

"Luo Binghe, really, this isn't necesa-"

"I'm sorry Senior! I made a mistake and it is solely my fault. I shouldn't have done it and you have every right to be mad at me," Binghe exclaims. He is just repeating himself from earlier, but it feels as if there is more to his words this time.

"Binghe..." Shen Qingqiu sighs, lowering his head. Why does it feel like his heart is being squeezed empty?

"If you need to yell at me, then yell. If you need to hit me, then hit me. If you want me to apologize again and again, then I will do so until I have no voice left. I am really, truly sorry Senior."

Is that a waver in Luo Binghe's voice? Shen Qingqiu must be imagining it. If he were to actually look at Luo Binghe, there is no way that the other would actually be crying over this. 

Closing his eyes, he gathers the last of the steely resolve he has left from the original Shen Qingqiu. He needs to make it clear where the two of them stand.

"I don't want any of that. It doesn't matter. I don't understand why you never returned my glasses. You don't understand why I keep focusing on the diary pages. Maybe we both just need to accept that we don't understand each other as well as we thought," he says, trying to keep most of the bitterness from seeping through. 

He doesn't think he quite manages it in the end.

"Senior..." Luo Binghe whispers, his voice so heartbroken that Shen Qingqiu almost feels tears coming to his own eyes. But he isn't wrong, so they both just need to man up and get over this-!

A sound ahead. 

They both go still. 

There is no doubt that it came from the office.

Not the sound of heavy boots. Or bloody axes. This is lighter. Rustling. Like someone rummaging through papers and shelves.

Neither Shen Qingqiu nor Luo Binghe speak another word. Instead they slowly and, oh so quietly, move forward. Once they are by the door, Luo Binghe releases Shen Qingqiu. With his arms free he holds the crowbar at the ready. Not too gently he pushes the door open. 

Shen Qingqiu follows behind Luo Binghe as well as he can manage. As the door hits the wall, the person messing around immediately turns to face them with wide eyes. Putting a leg in front of her, her arms raised at the ready, they are faced with the masked girl wearing a very recognizable school uniform.

Finally they managed to catch up to Liu Mingyan.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Bonus Chapter 26

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

This chapter took me two days to go through! It's SO LONG (120 pages). I wanted to post yesterday but I got 60 pages in and started fading. Winter is here and the sun keeps disappearing too quickly, your boy is feeling the SAD.

The tea photo is from today and not yesterday- I tried out a new one it's almond amaranth and rooibos.

let's get into this monster of a chapter!

Fuck yeah, we have an airplane POV! Though this chapter is BEEFY. I think I'm going to read half today and half tomorrow before posting it (present me: and I did! ^-^).

I love that we are getting all of these forum comments. This is so fun! One of my favourite brands of fics are fics that include elements of social media/forum/blog style au's and this is a vibe! pp140-147

This guy is not wrong "Even though this famous Lord Cucumber spewed criticism constantly and without end in 'Great Master' Airplane's comment section, his subscription payments and demands for updates never waned. Because of this 'Great Master Airplane had come to suspect that this person was a masochist". p148 I mean yeah lol

OMG what an awful way to die! Alone in your house, let's be real - likely in his underwear- via electrocution induced by his sad instant ramen noodle dinner. p149

and the fact that he transmigrated so young. He was there for a while before the plot plotted with SY. 17 years old! p150. I do wonder if there is a wiggly time thing. Like years in the transmigrated novel equal like hours in the world he came from or something. They died close together I think? anyways- any theories on this are welcome!

Same though- Airplane is so real for this. The way in which I would just want to spill all of the foreknowledge and secrets to people I held in my brain as the creator of this universe p153

The SASS [Tip Complete. We wish you the best of luck]. p155

Are you kidding! This man didn't even write the plot that led for his main spy character to becoming a spy...dang man. the potholes are real bad. p156

Okay but this would seriously be me af. I am such a wimp- and that is totally okay! In the face of most definitely death, I would submit myself to being the Little Bitch Boy and pledge myself, my body, my undying love, to my new demon overlord and master. Good for baby him ahaha. p158

"As Shang Qinghua overflowed with snot and tears, clinging on for dear life, begging to pledge fealty to Mobei-Jun - wholly without warning, the demon collapsed." p160 Again, same. I'm feeling seen with Airplane here XD Screaming, crying, throwing up.

Man. I really see how these two end up together (I'm assuming they do?). He had a solid chance to murder the guy and he just couldn't because the character is just his ideal man. p162

"This character had been created entirely to the author's own tastes" p163 MHMMM. Yeah he was.

ehehehe and here we have the only one bed trope at the inn he got to nurse his ideal man back to health. p165

This guy is so shameless. Straight up just watching Mobei-Jun strip while he sits there and snacks. p169

It is so unhinged that this man just has a string tied to his neck pp170-171

that congee- YARF "clear as water" sounds so unappealing p174

"When in doubt- just cry" - Airplane definitely p176

The security on this mountain is so shit. Demons just popping in all the time under the radar. Mobei-jun literally lived there for three days no one even knew XD p183

awww, Airplane tried to warn Liu Qingge about the upcoming Qi deviation. That was nice of him. p190

Yes! Thank you! The scene I have been waiting for; in which the other characters are all like "wtf is up with shen qingqiu? He really is 100% different overnight, but also, no one say anything to him because we like this him better" p192

Fair though, I too would think that SQQ was possessed p194

The way in which airplane is SHAKEN by the actions of SQQ right now is so funny. Him frozen expression, this is NOT the character I wrote what the fuck is happening. p206

Someone commented on an earlier chapter post I had about the theory that the system is the manifestation of airplane's actual wants for the story and like- I stand with this theory. It really checks out with this POV the man keep's fantasizing of a queer man story and like he sure does get it. p207

LOOOOL oh no. the fact that the man who created these characters - VERY different than this experience. Has to listen to Binghe "If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand you intentions?" p208.

Not airplane giving LBH love advice just so cucumber bro can literally Get Fucked. pp212-213

AND THEN HIS ADVICE BACKFIRES WITH MOBEI-JUN LOL"So, if you want to be liked by a man, the best method is to act pathetic?" p214. Like he set this up for himself

Wait. Airplane had the option to return home! And he just didnt??? p217

Airplane really is weak for these villainous men. The way in which he describes Linguang-Jun is so simpy. p228

The drama. Airplane doing the MOST to save Mobei-jun. This man could have avoided all of this and just gone home. What a horrible torture! :( p235

Get it airplane! You yell at him ahaha p237-238

I AM SCREAMING. Airplane: I'm your daddy! p239 AND THEN him just leaving in a panic because he really thinks he's going to get murdered after that outburst LOL

I love SQQ sitting in domesticity with his man giving airplane love advice pp244-245

Awww, Mobei-Jun came back for his boyfriend! He's going to make him hand pulled noodles :'3 p255 I honestly think that Mobei-jun actually needed to be bossed around this entire time

BYE. LOL SGH deciding to continue writing in this world by basically writing slash fanfiction about LBH/SQQ + the other peak lords/famous cultivators LOL p256. Good for him ahaha.

We did it!

This chapter was such a ride ahaha. it was fun to see the POV for airplane but also him and the progression of his weird AF relationship with Mobei-jun. I honestly kind of love these two. They were such a mess in the beginning but it ended so soft :'3

[irrealisms]

svsss and sexual violence pt. 2: gender and homophobia

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this one's also got a CW for, well, homophobia and sexism. this section is approximately 1k.

(also: shoutout to @rooses40stepskincareroutine for motivating me to actually write all this out!)

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia (you are here) pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society

We talked in the previous post about how Shen Yuan begins the story oblivious to himself as a potential target for sexual violence, and that his realization that he is in danger of this is the same as his realization that he is a target of male sexual desire. One of the quotes I think about a lot here is a much later quote:

Yeah right! Like he’d dare share a room with Luo Binghe. A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight! His willingness to read a stallion novel like Proud Immortal Demon Way was rock-solid proof!

And--on the one hand, this is funny. I'm not going to say this isn't funny, because it is; we as the reader know that Shen Qingqiu is obviously not straight and that reading stallion novels does not actually make you straight. In light of this, his insistence that he is straight is funny!

But. There's also two other things going on here:

We all know the trope of the predatory gay man, right? Gay men (and queer people in general, though the specifics of this vary by sexuality/gender) are seen as inherently sexually predatory; you see this in the idea of gay men "converting" straight men and boys through rape/molestation, you see this in AIDS-era fears of HIV+ men who deliberately tried to spread HIV (often through rape) as much as possible, you see this in modern-day grooming panics. one of the most common ways homophobia manifests is this sort of idea--as a teenager, one of my friend's parents stopped letting me have sleepovers once they learned I was a lesbian, because they didn't want me sleeping in the same room as their daughter; you see stories of people kicking gay people out of changing rooms, of refusing to touch them/let them touch others, and generally isolating them from platonic intimacy with the same gender due to the specter of gay people being sexually predatory. Shen Qingqiu's narration very deliberately calls this to mind: A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. there's interesting things to say here about how mxtx interacts with this trope in her other two novels--lwj and hc are both definitely also engaging with this trope, though very differently--but i'll keep this post focused on scum villain.

however. as established in part one: luo binghe has in fact sexually assaulted and been sexually predatory towards shen qingqiu. between the kiss in the dream and here, we get two major moments: the first, where luo binghe admits he knew it was the real shen qingqiu and not a dream construct when he sexually assaulted SQQ in the dream, and the second, where luo binghe holds shen qingqiu down, tears off his clothes, and explicitly threatens to rape him. which...yes, luo binghe clarifies shortly after (when sqq starts dying) that he wasn't actually going to rape sqq, he just wanted to scare him. but, uh, holding someone down and then--while they try to fight--kissing them, tearing off their clothes, and telling them that you're going to rape them? that is still very much SA. so sqq's fears of LBH are ... well, they're justified, and they're coming from a place of trauma.

I... have some genuinely fairly mixed feelings about how MXTX handles this combination in SVSSS? right now i'm not actually doing very critical analysis of the text tbh, so i won't go into it, but i invite you to think about it for yourself about it!

that said, i have more things to say on other topics. specifically: SY thinks of himself as a straight man, and thus safe. but he's been put in a very feminized position by the narrative. he's constantly on the other end of LBH's wife plots, to the point where, in the extras, the culmination of their marriage involves LBH calling him "wife". the genre change is vital to understanding this--he's no longer a man in the real world, or even a man in a stallion novel; he's a shou in a danmei. (and while there's a lot of discourse on the feminization of bottoms in M/M, esp written by women, i want to emphasize that this isn't exclusive to chinese-language M/M--go read some omegaverse on ao3 to see some men being feminized by the narrative in much more extreme ways, without any of the interesting commentary on genre!) now, this is a role that is also very distinct from being a woman--especially on the doylist level, the [shou/uke/bottom] in M/M is generally written better and is more central to the narrative with fewer sexist tropes than the actual women in the story, and svsss is no exception to this--but it's still very distinctly feminized. something I think about in this regard is how his internet handle, "Peerless Cucumber", is misheard in SVSSS as "Peerless Chrysanthemum"--his name has been changed, by the setting, from something representing [penis/topping] to [anus/bottoming]. It's a representation of traditionally male bottoming, it represents the anus and not the vagina, but it's still a very literal emasculation of Shen Yuan by the setting of SVSSS! another sample quote:

In conclusion: So the female lead’s role was going to Shen Qingqiu again, huh?

this is also particularly interesting to me because of the ways SQQ is sexist, just like the previous quote is interesting because of how SQQ is homophobic. another quote, from earlier in the book:

He was a man, yet he had been forced to meekly tell another man that he would “submit to him,” in front of so many people. And above all, the other man was his former disciple, which made it even more frustrating and shameful.

again, we see his sexism and anxieties around masculinity being tied up in his anxieties around sexual abuse. he sees putting himself in a position where he's at risk for sexual abuse (because he is doing that, he has just learned that LBH knew he was real when sexually assaulting him in the dream, and he is now agreeing to submit & go home with him) as shameful. why? because he's a man. the implications that it's shameful for men to be sexually submissive or get sexually abused (which are conflated here and throughout the novel by SY, although other characters draw a distinction! but SY's views on ~kink, both D/s and S&M, while fascinating and very relevant to the bingqiu relationship and his relationship w queerness, would be thoroughly a tangent here--ask me if you want another post on the subject lol), because men should be "stronger" than that, but it would not be shameful for a woman, because women are supposed to submit to (and be sexually abused by) men, is left as an exercise for the reader. so ... he's being wildly sexist! but even here you can see he's being sexist because he's being emasculated. because he's being pushed into the "female" role, instead of the "male" one, and when it comes to sexual violence & the fear thereof, that's a dangerous place to be. once again, being a man doesn't protect him: a lesson he will keep learning.

there's more to say about gender & sexual violence in SVSSS about other characters, but that mostly gets addressed in the next post, except for my thoughts on gender that aren't about sexual abuse (i have a LOT of these--mostly about bing-ge vs bing-mei, but also about shen yuan's view of femininity as inherently degrading and painful, which the text does not agree with even as it does agree that the societal baggage of femininity often comes with sexual violence; again, ask me if you want another post about that, it would not be part of this meta series but i DO have things to say on it). thanks for reading this one!

[incognito-lionbeast]

Saw a post about an SY!SQQ AU that, upon transmigration, the System genderbent SQQ's body & the implications thereof. So, now I'm thinking about such things...

and honestly? Trans woman SQQ is very fun & good, don't get me wrong. But what I think would be even funnier is "accidentally gender fluid/bi-gender Shen Qingqiu" because obviously he's still a man, despite the physical changes.

(and as such, obviously can't bathe/etc around women, because he's a man & it would be inappropriate! It's definitely not because he's not interested in women...)

Except for when she's not a man (because of the physical changes). This is usually around Luo Binghe, because SQQ is doing an insane amount of mental gymnastics so s/he can be straight. And it's only natural that she's attracted to Binghe & his protagonist's halo like this, because she's a woman.

Schrodinger's gender all the way down. Both true & false in perpetuity.

[lifeofmysteries]

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Fic Recs - Bingqiu

Fic recs specifically for the ship Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan!Shen Qingqiu. Fell down a deep SVSSS hole for the past year and have read so many fics. SVSSS has so many amazing fic authors, I have never been so blessed with a fandom.

Fic recs under the read more

High Mountain, How I Long by Minimalistless (14k, complete)

Shen Qingqiu, after enduring his trial, is placed into Luo Binghe’s custody at Huan Hua Palace.

This is one of the most bookmarked fic in the SVSSS fandom so I don't technically need to rec it, but I will anyway because it's just that good. The angst is incredible. SQQ communicate properly challenge (he'll lose).

may-june relationship by kitschlet (1.2k, complete)

Luo Binghe rolls to his back, looking up at their bed’s canopy. “When you invited me to sit in your carriage... that was you?”

“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says warily.

“I was fourteen,” Luo Binghe says. “But if Shen Qinqgiu’s body wasn’t your own, how old were you?”

Very funny and a quick read. Poor Binghe loses a kink.

wedding suprises: the bad, the worse, and the downright miserable by nyoomerr (17k, complete)

Fresh from the Abyss and having just gained a seat of power in the Demonic Empire, Luo Binghe arranges for a marriage between himself as the Heavenly Demon Lord and Shen Yuan as a representative of Cang Qiong. It will be perfect, and Shen Yuan will love him and the marriage just as much as Luo Binghe does, because there is no reason for Shen Yuan not to love Luo Binghe just as much as he had when Luo Binghe was just a human servant of Cang Qiong.

It will be so good, in fact, that Luo Binghe decides to make it a surprise - so Shen Yuan comes to the Demonic Empire having no clue that his fiance is Luo Binghe at all.

(Surprise! It doesn't go as smoothly as Luo Binghe had planned.)

Nyoomerr is one of my favourite authors in the SVSSS fandom for how they write the relationship between LBH and SQQ, they really capture that angsty miscommunication that hurts both of them without it feeling forced.

Keeping Secrets a.k.a HOT CULTIVATOR IMBIBES TRUTH POLLEN AND DIES (of mortification) (not clickbait) by cinnamonsnaps (3k, tagged as incomplete but reads as if complete IMO)

"I bet you would beg," Shen Qingqiu said with a snort, letting his eye slide shut. The following silence was somehow remarkably loud. He cracked his eye open again. Luo Binghe was staring at him, face flushed red, hands frozen on Shen Qingqiu's ankle. "... shizun?" 

-

Shen Qingqiu gets forced to tell the truth about a lot of things, unfortunately.

Very funny, always love truth serumed SQQ bc there are so many truths he doesn't acknowledge about himself that being truth serumed reveals. no hiding behind the metaphorical fan of his words anymore

speak your mind (not that much!) by nyoomerr (8.2k, complete)

Before the investigation in Jinlan City, Shen Qingqiu is hit by a curse that forces him to speak his mind. Unfortunately, this means that the first thing he does when he sees Luo Binghe for the first time in three years is to tell Luo Binghe that he's grown up to be really quite pretty.

Luo Binghe, not sure what's going on but absolutely enjoying the ride, abandons all his plans immediately. He has new priorities now, including but not limited to: 

- get his Shizun to call him 'pretty' again - steal his Shizun away from his (probably in existence) harem - ???

Nyoomerr u r the best <3. great miscommunication. lbh going through a rollercoaster of emotions

you are who you love by kitschlet (39k, complete)

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by an amnesia wife plot that selectively erases Luo Binghe from his memories. Luckily, the cure is simple: Luo Binghe just has to make him fall in love all over again.

Kitschlet another one of the SVSSS authors where you should read through every one of their works. Very funny seeing SQQ back in 'definitely straight' mode where everyone around him knows the opposite.

night of yearning by tagteamme (39k, complete)

Luo Binghe develops a gap in his memory, one that is shaped specifically like Shen Qingqiu.

“Binghe, speak to this master,” Shen Qingqiu says firmly, and Luo Binghe gives him a strange look. Shen Qingqiu can’t place it and he leans forward, intending to get closer to see better. But the hand around his wrist instantly tightens to the point where it hurts, and Shen Qingqiu lets out a squawk of pain. “Binghe—!” “Why do you keep calling me like that?” Luo Binghe returns, and Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen at the way the words are devoid of any emotion. It is nothing though, compared to the force of what Luo Binghe says next. “Who are you?”

This is like the twin fic to go with Kitschlet's. Poor SQQ, not a fun situation for him. Tagteamme's fics are also rlly good, highly recommend going through their account

Plastromancy by x_los (16k, complete)

"One night, Luo Binghe notices something odd about the way his blood is pooling on the floor of the woodshed."

A twelve year old Luo Binghe meets his Other Shizun.

Forces you to confront the tragic realities of what transmigration means. Includes LBH being horrific. Love it

Futility in Practice by TGP (31k, complete)

When Luo Binghe is fourteen years old, his shizun suffers a terrible qi deviation and fever that completely changes who he is.

A time loop from the perspective of a the person outside of the loop. Some of the loops are very painful but the ending is so sweet.

prophets on hold by nex_et_nox (13k, complete)

Luo Binghe led the charge in the trial against Shen Qingqiu in < Proud Immortal Demon Way >. By all rights, the concept of a trial shouldn’t even be a glimmer in anyone’s eye until Shen Qingqiu’s blackened lotus has crawled his way out of the hell Shen Qingqiu tossed him in.

So why is Shen Qingqiu wrapped in immortal binding cables and locked away in the Huan Hua Water Prison?!

[or: Luo Binghe is precisely one (1) year late getting out of the Abyss. This does not put a halt on anyone else's plans.]

Damsel SQQ rights. LBH can't stay angry at such a pitiful figure

[myfaveisfuckable]

Dokja:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

3. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

4. He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers: turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu:

Read a million-word porno for the plot, left a scathing criticism on every chapter, finished in like 20 days, and got so upset about it that he ate expired yogurt and died. Told his husband that if he'd been pregnant with him, he would have absorbed poison at the cost of his own life for him. Has never been interested in any women romantically or sexually but is completely convinced he's totally straight, probably even while married to and regularly sleeping with his husband, who he loves. His first solution to any dangerous situation is to die about it.

[zykamiliah]

the many ways shen qingqiu loves luo binghe

this was more or less inspired by this post, but because this is gonna be a personal opinion and i don't want to make a thread of it and inadvertently contest with the other two's points, I'm going to make my own post.

so i wanna start saying that "the moment one falls in love" is a trope that's waaaay too overstated. in my opinion. specially because falling in love tends to be something that has to do with romantic love most of the time, and it pretends to establish a sort of timeline, a point of no return, for ships and fictional relationships.

when the stories surrounding the characters are more straightforward, i don't really mind, since it makes sense for there to be an "Oh" moment when the character realizes they are in love. like, we know the moment lbh started to see sqq in a sexual light, and we can roughly add to this that the events of the demon invasion and the nightmare scenario are what sealed the deal for lbh. it helps that he's more honest about his feelings and the sexual awakening had already happened, and we can easily assume that from that point on lbh's feelings have a romantic-sexual side.

it still has other sides... because lbh loves sqq as a shizun, as a parent, and this side of their relationship, the master-disciple and parent-child side, is intrinsic to their dynamic; it's a conflicting element during their prolonged conflict for most of the novel, but at the same time, it's their default when they want to approach each other, it's the "safe zone".

but when it comes to sqq I think it's a much more difficult thing to ask: when does sqq falls in love? when is his Oh moment? Is there one, a conscious realization that he's in love? Can his relationship with lbh be described as "being in love"?

he loved Luo Binghe The Character

—the way a reader loves a favorite character, and fanboyed about him plenty before and after transmigrating. the shadow of what the little sheep he was raising would became was ever-present throughout those first 6 years before their meeting in Jinlan City.

but he loved lbh the character in a fanatical way that wasn't actually real... it was meaningful to him because he liked this fictional character a lot, but it's a safe love from the side of a screen.

he was compelled by lbh the character, by his tragic backstory full of angst, and by the ways lbh the character did things: he "rightfully" took his anger out in the people who'd hurt him and paid back for it tenfold. in a way, sy as a reader was also projecting himself in lbh the character.

in short, he loved the Idea of luo binghe, but not luo binghe as a real person.

he loved Luo Binghe the White Lotus Disciple

—and he loved him like a parent loves a child. yet, as I mentioned, he always kept in mind that this boy would grew up to be a very attractive and sexual man, and thus sqq expected him to have romantic encounters with girls around his age.

i know some people shy away from talking about this because everyone is paranoid about your favorite character being called a pedophile etc etc, but really, sy could be nothing farther from that, and whoever who says that has a very, hmm, wide definition of the word and it's probably just using the buzzword to hate on the character.

the important thing is that, despite sqq being aware that lbh is a potential sexual being and will become very sexually active in the future, he does not in any way sexualize his and lbh's relationship. Like I said, sqq would never abuse his power in that way, and he'd never get it on with someone he sees as a child, his disciple. that lbh is very much viewing their relationship with romantic and sexual lenses is a complete shock for him because of this, along with other reasons and assumptions (that lbh was straight)

the problem here is, precisely, that he treated lbh like a child once, and would go on treating him as a child later, post-holy mausoleum: disregarding lbh's agency, making decisions for him and without asking what lbh wants, since as the parent he obviously Knows Better, and taking responsibility for lbh's "bad behavior". the endless abyss was a decision he made without consulting lbh. he self-detonated because he thought that would be best for everyone, and he intended for his death to (among other things like saving the city and escaping prison) "make up" for his mistakes. in maigu ridge, he almost kills himself again because he thought that would be better for lbh.

he's self-sacrificing, protective, caring, and overall parental/maternal towards lbh, which has it's good and bad sides. for a long time, he loves lbh like a parent loves a child, and though this side of his love for lbh is not lost in the extras, it's lesser in the sense that the power imbalance is nullified, and the parent-child, shizun-disciple side of their relationship turns more into a comforting, safe roleplay that allows them to access intimacy and express their feelings (that infamous "if i was your mother" speech) than the entirety of their relationship.

and the thing is, he always loved and will always love lbh as a parent loves a child. and i think people uncomfortable with this fact have to get around to accepting that lol

he is subconsciously attracted to luo binghe (bingmei) the Man

we all know this part. sqq's descriptions of lbh's beauty are numerous and far too difficult to quote them all, but one that really stands out to me, because it proves the point, is this one:

[Shen Qingqiu] asked, “The important person you’re talking about, was it…a good-looking young man?” When he thought about it, he decided against suppressing his conscience and clarified. “Not just good-looking, he’s very good-looking, especially good-looking. Fair skin, pretty face, tall. He doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it’s exceptionally dark.” chapter 9: borderlands

if he was unaffected by lbh's attractiveness, he wouldn't need to "suppress his conscience" about it. also this description is just... describing lbh's smile from his own pov? a personal feeling? to a stranger? he has it bad.

he's repressing his own feelings, so it's difficult to point to a specific moment as the moment he realizes he's attracted to lbh... because he never has a conscious realization, and he's in constant denial about it. all the way through to the last bingqiu extra, the wedding extra, he'll continue using the same narrative: the Protagonist is Beautiful and Irresistible, so what can sqq do but surrender to him? It's inevitable, really. (hahahaha he can't help but love and be attracted to lbh. it says more about him that he could ever verbalize)

so yeah, sqq really has the hots for lbh the man. but he'll NEVER admit it, he'll never had an Oh moment. Not even when he unconsciously called lbh "husband".

i want to make a clarification: for a character like sqq, who care about his pride and dignity way too much and has internalized homophobia and sexism to the detriment of his own peace of mind and fulfillment, admitting that he enjoys sex is way too shameful. he's never doing it. he mentions being "drunk with lust" in the showdown extra; in the deep dream extra he gets enthusiastic and proactive, initiating sex with lbh himself very smoothly; in the RoC,SoBQ extra he initially asks to do it doggy style and then changes his tune and wants to see lbh's face, DESPITE being embarrassed about it, and his desire is described as wanting the spot inside him to be rammed. all of this are subtle hints of how he really feels about sex, despite his inner struggles with his pride as a man.

another clarification: the way smut is written in western space is not the same as the way is written in chinese novels. for example, some chinese slang put the the top as the one "attacking", as if sex is a sort of fight. there's always this implication that the shou surrenders to the gong. there's a clear distinction of who tops and who bottoms and the roles of husband and wife made by this distinction; pleasure is described differently: phrases like "scalp going numb", "getting goosebumps" are not particular to svsss alone; the way the bodies engaged in the sex act are described, etc. (it IS a different language with a different culture) so it's normal that most of us come out of the extras thinking the smut is not enjoyable for readers or the characters themselves. what is the difference between the mdzs extras and the svsss extras? that wwx, being characterized as a "shameless" person, is very vocal about how he feels during sex. he has no shame around sex, unlike sqq, who is in the opposite side of the shame spectrum.

sqq is still struggling with that part of himself, and personally I think it's very understandable that even until the end of volume 4 he still has a difficult time with it; it's not easy shedding the believes one grows up with.

which bring me to,

he loves luo binghe the Man, "romantically"

—and it's a love that conflates his parental love, his attraction, too, but that starts to develop mostly post-holy mausoleum: it's when the hand-holding starts, somehow, though it develops fulling throughout the extras, when they finally become romantic partners and explore sex together. mxtx traces an arc that starts with the showdown extra, goes through the deep dream extra that has sqq telling lbh that "Tonight I feel like... I live you a great deal" and ends in the wedding extra with sqq calling lbh "husband" unprompted; despite previously agonizing about his loss of face and dignity and the humiliation of it, his actions speak louder than his words and inner thoughts. because of this, functionally, sqq can be read as a tsundere.

but aside from the sex, sqq enjoys domesticity and spending time with lbh; he likes teasing him, conversing with him and going out with him to see the world. post-main novel they're equals in their relationship and treat each other with respect and consideration, even if their shizun-disciple roleplay prevails. by romance definitions, I believe they mostly fit them, even if their relationship is unconventional.

as for when sqq fell in love with lbh? i still don't have a clear answer. he's always loved him; this love evolves through time, bringing him and lbh closer together. personally, i don't think it's not important. sqq loves lbh, and that's what matters.

[thegoldenavenger]

I wanted to draw art of this before vomiting words all over a post but!!! Undertale Binghe au

Just, Luo Binghe falling, not into the abyss, but into the underground. He's supposed to run into Shen Qingqiu, who guides him through the Ruins, tricking him the whole while. They are supposed to fight at the Ruins' exit, Shen Qingqiu snarling invective his way acting aloof and cold, at once prideful, arrogant, jealous, spiteful. Telling Luo Binghe that he can't make it out, that no one ever can especially not the likes of him. Luo Binghe is supposed to win, killing Shen Qingqiu before stepping outside the ruins door and leaving nothing (and no one) behind.

But instead, he meets a Shen Qingqiu who takes his tutorial duties very seriously! A Shen Qingqiu who sort of coddles Luo Binghe, and teaches him the puzzle mechanics of the underground, who has a small shimmering hope that he can just live with Luo Binghe here, in the cozy ruins of his home, reading and cooking together. This is definitely not how it happened before, even when Luo Binghe was new to this endless loop of nightmares.

But, whatever this new game, Luo Binghe finds the exit of the Ruins. And Shen Qingqiu fights him.

(The leitmotif here is Heartache, and oh! Shen Qingqiu's heart aches. How naive of him, to think he could sequester the protagonist in the small starter ruins. How short sighted of him to try and stifle the young hero... maybe next time...)

Luo Binghe wins, of course, but this time things are different. Maybe. He's been through this so many times it's hard to tell. But had Shen Qingqiu ever looked so sad beneath his aloof expression? Had his entreaties ever really meant anything? Why had he sounded just as trapped as Luo Binghe?

Luo Binghe finds himself with new, different memories as he walks out of the Ruins. They plague him as he makes his way through the next area. Each battle he encounters he remembers, "just stall for time and this master will be there to help." Each simpering fool that blocks his path he recalls, "just practice talking! Look, this teacher will go first."

He runs into Shang Qinghua, who cowers and runs from him. Mu Qingfang, who watches him with a cooly detached eye. Liu Qingge, who always strikes first and doesn't give in. Qi Qingqi, mocking him from her hiding places. Wei Qingwei is surprisingly easy to defeat after it all. And Yue Qingyuan, who looks straight through Luo Binghe no matter how many times Luo Binghe marches back through the gardens to him.

And all the while Shen Qingqiu's voice in his head: come! This master will guide you through these catacombs. Do not be afraid, my child. Which does Binghe prefer? Oh, but Binghe would not turn his nose up over one or the other? Truthfully, when this master first saw Binghe... it felt like seeing an old friend for the first time.

Prove yourself to me, that you are strong enough to survive!

All Luo Binghe has been doing is survive. The next time Yue Qingyuan strikes him down, Luo Binghe wonders if he, too, can do something different. Be something different.

Once again he awakes after the long fall in the bamboo grove at the beginning of the Ruins. Once again the Shen Qingqiu he meets is not the one he is used to.

(For his part, Shen Qingqiu isn't sure he really remembers anything from his first time around. But the very fact that vague familiarity keeps hitting him makes him suspect.)

Shen Qingqiu is still bafflingly kind to him. Taking his hand and leading him through the puzzles and traps. Stepping between him and any encounters might be troublesome. "Binghe prefers— oh, you never said... well. Binghe wouldn't turn his nose at either if he had a chance, would he?"

Luo Binghe stays, a little longer, in the ruins this time. He lets Shen Qingqiu coddle him. Brush his hair. Share tea and books and snacks with him.

But in the end, Luo Binghe has to leave the Ruins, and Shen Qingqiu has to fight.

And everytime, the Ruins is left without its Caretaker.

Luo Binghe keeps waking up in the bamboo grove, enough times he feels as if just underneath the ground is a pile of his own discarded bodies. Shen Qingqiu keeps showing up, and keeps smiling, and keeps leading him to his home.

The thing is, Luo Binghe thinks that this Shen Qingqiu would keep him, if Luo Binghe didn't have to leave the Ruins. This Shen Qingqiu would keep him in his slightly disheveled home, reading to him by the fireplace, and complimenting his cooking.

So, Luo Binghe tries. He tries to stay for as long as he can. When Shen Qingqiu takes him by the hand and leads him past the traps, says in his impossibly collected voice, "This master has always wanted to be a teacher... well, perhaps that isn't surprising." Luo Binghe tries smiling and says back, "Then this one will be grateful to learn from Shizun."

It is the first thing Luo Binghe has said, directly.

From then on, Luo Binghe talks through everything. He calls Shen Qingqiu Shizun, and asks questions about everything he feels he is allowed to, and, with this Shen Qingqiu, there doesn't seem to be a limit. He asks about the Ruins, the bamboo, the books in Shen Qingqiu's cabinet. He asks about the recipe cards on the kitchen counter. He asks about the boarded room down the hall. He asks about the journal with heavily red-lined corrections and critiques.

Shizun answers all his questions honestly, even if it is with a simple, "this master has forgotten."

They both want it to stay like this. But in the end, it cannot.

"Does Binghe not want to ask about the exit to the Ruins?" Shizun says one day.

Luo Binghe is, perhaps not quite as surprised as he should be. He always has to leave, after all. Still, he tries.

"This one doesn't need to."

"Hmm. I suppose you wouldn't."

Still, it happens. Binghe cannot find Shen Qingqiu anywhere, until he finds his Shizun at the exit of the Ruins. His face is cold. Aloof. Familiar.

"This master had thought to destroy the door," he says when Binghe approaches him. Luo Binghe cannot help the way his body tenses. He won't be trapped any more than he is forced to be by this hellish circumstance. As much as he wanted to play domestic with a Shen Qingqiu that seemed willing to indulge him, he liked knowing he could leave whenever he wanted.

"There's no need," Luo Binghe says.

"This master supposes not. What obstacle could stand in Luo Binghe's way if he wanted to leave? Hmm? What's that look for? Don't tell me Binghe doesn't want to leave?"

And the thing is, Luo Binghe does want to leave. He cannot stay in the Ruins forever. He has to leave the underground. But... "I don't want to fight you again." This is suddenly the most important thing. Luo Binghe does not want to fight Shen Qingqiu. Every time they fight, Luo Binghe wins, and that means killing Shen Qingqiu for the freedom to escape the Ruins.

He's done it more times than he can count, but this time it is too much, and, horrifyingly, he feels his heat spring behind his eyes.

"Oh," Shen Qingqiu says and he drops his fan.

The leimotif here is Heartache, and oh. Shen Qingqiu's heart aches.

"Then we won't fight. You don't have to prove anything to me. Luo Binghe is free to leave the Ruins he does not have to worry that this master will stop him."

"What?"

Shen Qingqiu reaches out to pat Luo Binghe's head, smoothes down his hair, and then hugs him. Luo Binghe stands, shocked.

"We don't have to fight?" He asks, again, just to be sure.

"Of course not. Does Binghe not listen when this Master speaks? Does Binghe only know how to fight with weapons instead of his words? Now, be good, when you leave."

Luo Binghe leaves the Ruins and Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe didn't have to fight to leave. Did he ever have to fight at all? Or, he supposes fighting may be inevitable. But the killing wasn't, surely. If the Shen Qingqiu that Luo Binghe had first met, cold and spiteful, could turn around and hold Binghe's face so gently, so too could Luo Binghe find his way through the underground with a little more mercy?

Luo Binghe actually tries talking, this go around. He had tried it the first couple of times he had been made to traverse the Underground as young and naive as he'd been. But there was only so many times one could bash their heads against the likes of Liu Qingge before one had to give in to the inevitable. But was it inevitable?

Shang Qinghua smiles at him when they meet the first time (this time). He still looks nervous, apprehensive, but not terrified as he always had been before.

Shang Qinghua loops him into conversation, gossips with him about some of the locals, tells him about a collectable he'd never found before. Shang Qinghua, the same rat who hisses at him in the hall before Yue Qingyuan's garden, that judges him like the cowardly hippocrit he is—Shang Qinghua invites him to dinner, and makes nervous jokes with him.

Shang Qinghua sits across from him and says, "there's this door, by the ruins, it's always shut. But sometimes, if I knock on it, someone answers. I read him some of my novel—no you can't see it—and he tears it to shreds. Says it's something to occupy his time but... it's the most time anyone spends on me, you know? Then he asks me—well, tells me, really—that if anyone comes through the door I should maybe watch out for them? But, I'm, haha, a coward, so I tell him to shove it. Whoever could make it through him certainly doesn't need my help out here. But I thought... anyone who's lonely enough to put up with me and my shitty writing well. They have a certain integrity. I don't really know what I'm saying but—I'm glad it's you, who came out."

Luo Binghe tries talking to Mu Qingfang who is curious and suspicious into turns, but ultimately subsides when Luo Binghe recalls one of Shen Qingqiu's rarer books so he can properly quizz Luo Binghe on his recollections of its contents.

Liu Qingge is the first person to really drive Luo Binghe's new conviction to the edge. The man doesn't let Luo Binghe get a word in before he's being engaged in battle.

Surprisingly, Mu Qingfang and Shang Qinghua seem keen on helping him navigate around their mercurial martial brother. Mu Qingfang offers Luo Binghe various healing items to recover from encounters and advice on how to avoid him. Shang Qinghua tries his hand at bumbling deception ("I told him what you were wearing the last time we met! You've changed by now, right? You're very smart of course you've disguised yourself!") and mediocre distraction.

Luo Binghe still thinks won't be able to get through without falling into the inevitable cycle of violence again. He tells Shang Qinghua "Shizun said I should just stall and he'd be there to help but! That's not how it works at all. Even if we didn't fight he's not here with me! I'm still alone. And Liu Qingge wont! Listen! To anything I have to say!"

Luo Binghe doesn't say that he's afraid he'll have to kill Liu Qingge, and he'll be able to justify everything else all at once again. That he'll go back and see Shen Qingqiu and he'll have to kill him, too. To complete it all. Luo Binghe is so busy brooding he doesn't see Shang Qinghua's considering eye.

"You didn't fight at all?"

And then, the next time Liu Qingge corners Luo Binghe and Luo Binghe just cannot figure out how to disengage without murdering the man, someone throws a fan into Liu Qingge's face.

"Hah?" Liu Qingge sputters and whirls around.

"What are you doing, harassing some kid?"

And Luo Binghe knows that voice it's—

"Shizun?"

"Shen Qingqiu?"

That's him... standing for the first time out of the Ruins, looking shockingly disgruntled. He makes his way to Binghe and reaches put to pet Binghe's head.

"What am I? What are you doing? Shen Qingqiu! You disappeared for years, Yue Qingyuan—"

Shen Qingqiu levels the bitchiest glare at Liu Qingge that the man actually shuts up mid sentence. Then he sniffs and turns back to Luo Binghe.

"Binghe did very good, distracting that man until this Master could arrive."

"You're—shizun is here?" Never once before had Shen Qingqiu left the Ruins.

Shen Qingqiu's gaze softens.

"This master told you that he would guide Binghe through the catacombs and help you navigate the puzzles and traps here in the underground, did he not?" At binghe's nod he continues, "Well, what kind of master would this one be if he left Binghe to figure this out on his own."

(Shang Qinghua had hammered on the Ruins' door hard enough to bloody his fist. "BRO! Bro? You didn't even fight? Bro, this Luo Binghe has no idea what to do with Liu Qingge. He's getting his ass kicked!" "What do you want me to do about it?" "Anything! Before he decides to go back to murdering his way through the underground!" "He what?" "I mean—hypothetically. He could start—whatever! You're the one who told him his shizun would come kiss everything better—take responsibility for my son!")

Liu Qingge backs off begrudgingly, as Shen Qingqiu shepherds Luo Binghe away from the fight to gather reconnaissance and allies. That is, to have a gossip session with Shang Qinghua and Mu Qingfang.

Shen Qingqiu sweet talks Mu Qingfang into giving Luo Binghe a special item and then briefly refreshes his memory by yelling at Shang Qinghua and then starts helping Luo Binghe speed run the rest of his journey underground.

It's a little anti climatic, actually.

Shen Qingqiu distracts Liu Qingge everytime the man pops in to harrass Binghe's forward movement, entangling the him in confusing conversation and beguiling gestures until Binghe has enough time to sneak away. Shen Qingqiu waits for the right moment before accusing Liu Qingge of not being able to befriend Luo Binghe, egging on his competitive spirit until Liu Qingge accidentally becomes fond of Luo Binghe for his own merits.

That accomplished, Shen Qingqiu takes Luo Binghe through the rest of the underground. He guides Binghe to hidden items and fun places Luo Binghe had never bothered with before. He cuts Qi Qingqi's encounter in half with Mu Qingfang's special item, and turns Wei Qingwei's usually disappointing battle into a fun game that rewards Luo Binghe with his own spirit sword.

Shen Qingqiu drags Luo Binghe across the underground, sometimes back tracking, making sure Binghe is exposed to every part while still plowing through encounters. Luo Binghe, for his part, grips onto his new sword and follows his Shizun with starry eyes.

He's never felt so refreshed, he's never seen this horrid place in this light before. The horrendous slog of fighting and dying has morphed into a dream like sequence of moments he's building in his heart. He never knew how funny Shang Qinghua is, how knowledgeable Mu Qingfang is. That Qi Qingqi was pretty amiable when one approached with the perfect balance of respect. That Zheng Yang fit so perfectly in Luo Binghe's hand.

He could probably leave the amount of times Liu Qingge drops in on them to get into an argument with Shen Qingqiu, but even then... Luo Binghe hadn't known Liu Qingge could talk that much.

Or that, on Liu Qingge, a sternly frowning face could mean care.

"Yue Qingyuan is strong so. Here." Liu Qingge drops a set of light armor at Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe's feet in a clatter.

"Oh, Temmie Armor?" Shen Qingqiu says, and helps Luo Binghe into it.

"Don't..." Liu Qingge crosses his arm and scowls at everything in his radius. "Don't die. And don't kill anyone."

He leaves before Shen Qingqiu or Luo Binghe can say anything in reply. Shizun looks at Luo Binghe wryly, his fan already spread out to hid me his face.

"Well. Are you ready, Binghe?" He asks.

Luo Binghe takes a moment to think about it. Everytime before his battles with Yue Qingyuan have ended in stalemates, or an abyss so never ending Luo Binghe had chosen to start over just the same.

But this time he isn't going with the intention of winning by force, and this time he isn't going alone.

Shen Qingqiu is standing by his side, waiting for his answer, and Luo Binghe knows if he says that he isn't ready yet Shen Qingqiu will find another little diversion to help distract them both until Luo Binghe is ready. Maybe it will be another dinner date with Shang Qinghua, bullying the man's latest manuscript. Or maybe it will be getting Liu Qingge to chase them through the glowing crystal-lit caverns once more.

Luo Binghe still must face Yue Qingyuan and find his way free of the Underground, but somewhere along the way his priorities have shifted. He isn't the only one trapped down here, and, even if he'd known this before it hadn't mattered. Now, he realises he could potentially help free more than just himself.

Now, when Luo Binghe frees himself from the underground, he doesn't want to be alone when he steps into the sunlight.

(Shen Qingqiu is definitely the kind of undertale fan who never played the games himself but did watch all the playthroughs he could. He only has a general concept of the no mercy route (mostly bc Shang qinghua is not Toby "Radiation" Fox so his version of undertale is not nearly as impactful so a lot of the content is hidden or was dropped before released but also a little because he couldn't stand the emotional ringer of watching a heartless lets player kill his favorite characters!) so he thinks Luo Binghe is a generally sweet if misguided kid and does NOT realize binghe has been on an infinite no mercy loop through the underground. He wouldn't care if he did know, though, because he's crazy for Luo Binghe. That's just the kind of thing one does in a time loop!

Liu Qingge is so startled by Shen Qingqiu because he is so different from the stories he's heard about him. He keeps hearing people talk about how Shen Qingqiu abandoned Yue Qingyuan, how cold and merciless he was after Yue Qingyuan lost the war against Tianlang-Jun. Liu Qingge, ever Yue Qingyuan's right hand man, had personally vowed to avenge Yue Qingyuan should the chance arise. It's definitely why Liu Qingge is so determined to kill Luo Binghe himself. Yue Qingyuan has had to reap all the demonic cultivation to free themselves from the underground all on his own. To shoulder that kind of task by himself and then be faced with a child—with a demon with the face of a child, at least... well, the least Liu Qingge can do is share in that miserable task. And then Luo Binghe is trying to talk instead of fight like a demon should, and then Shen Qingqiu shows up not at all like the rumors painted him to be. Liu Qingge is so confused.

Shang Qinghua is having the roughest time. He isn't immune to the reset mind-wipe, but as the game dev he absolutely knows what's going on just with context clues. So he's just trapped in this nightmare world watching as everyone he knows is murdered over and over until one reset his door buddy is nice to him and Luo Binghe isn't trying to kill him on sight! Shen Qingqiu, why does your system let you dodge multiple plot lines???

Luo Binghe does end up freeing the Underground, that's just not the focus of this story haha. Something something zuzhi-lang, something something Huan Hua Palace, something something Yue Qingyuan falling over himself at the sight of Shen Qingqiu who is definitely NOT privy to the original goods' backstory haha)