#Shen Qingqiu is definitely straight

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 17

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's been a weekend!

I went to a wedding this weekend and my partner and I were on toddler babysitting duty. I naively thought I would be able to read a few chapters, but babies move fast yall. This was the only chapter I was able to read the entire time we were away.

I didn't even have a hot drink when I read it :'( But I did have this baby claim my lap (meet Winston).

Anyways- let's get into the chapter!!

ofc we start off this chapter with him waking up yet again with Tianlang-Jun. p113

Oh god, wait is the army marching to get rid of the sects with SQQ in their presence? Is this another way to frame SQQ?? Why would he just be with this army? p113

oh fuck, SQQ's arm. That's so rough oh no, the flowers really are growing. p114

and the means to take care of it is equally terrible. he has to BURN IT OFF. p115

Why is Luo Binghe's dad like this LOOOOL Him asking if SQQ fucked (Dual cultivated with) his son. pp116-117

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL Tianlang-jun humming the epic love ballad to SQQ. this man really is shipping these two hard. What a total weirdo (in the best of ways). p117

wait. he wants to MERGE two realms? How tf do you even do that? wouldnt that like fuck with spacetime or something? p119

Oof what a horrible sounding relationship that was between Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan. I hope we learn more about these two because it is really a bizarre dynamic they had. I feel like this guy just fetishizes humans p121

ooo! How did Luo Binghe arrive here? bro just shows up in the middle of a war camp. is it a dream? Either way LOL we have yet another absolutely wild kiss pp122-123

AND THEN SQQ not even being mad about Luo Binghe force kissing him- instead being mad that Luo Binghe gave Tianlang-jun Xin Mo LOL p123

Why is Luo Binghe so stupid XD not a thought in that boys head about consequences or anything. Like my dude, there is about to be an entire war and you seem to not give a shit. pp124-125

RIP hahahahaha hiding luo binghe in his bed p125

and Luo Binghe being Big Mad about ZZL "coming in while Shizun is sleeping" p125

NOT THE MISUNDERSTANDING. "we agreed on this" " agreed on what??" p126

OMG this scene is an entire comedy of errors LOL we have SQQ sitting on Luo Binghe on his bed with ZZL there. p129

OMG NOW TIANLANG-JUN IS THERE. He thinks ZZL and SQQ are fucking but that SQQ is also fucking his son. This guy must fully think SQQ is the biggest man whore. p131

AND NOW HE'S IN THE CUCK CHAIR BYE. "I don't mind, continue." p133

Tianlang-jun is having an entire conversation with SQQ while Luo Binghe is hidden beside/underneath just trying not to murder Zhuzhi-lang. p134 This is WILD.

Liu Qingge is actually going to get himself killed at this rate. He couldn't beat Luo Binghe the lesser demon, and here he is openly challenging Tianlang-jun. p136

oh no! so it was zhuzhi-lang who killed Gongyi Xiao :( p142

Liu Qingge "are you together?" SQQ: "it's complicated" p144

Wait- what's wrong with Luo Binghe? pp149-150

oh god. is Liu Qingge concerned for SQQ's virtue XD Is this going to be another "SQQ is a slut" rumour- like is someone going to see the three of them go into a room together? Though I am here for the SQQ is not actually a hoe but becomes the universes biggest rumoured hoe agenda. p152

Luo Binghe- I'm paying and - oh no- I only have enough for 2 rooms p153

SQQ forcing the two of them to have a room together while he takes his own. Just totally leaving them to fight one another about it XD p154

"Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight!" p155 okay buddy I believe you

SO many notifications form the system! threshold exceeded for satisfaction points, "high energy ahead", satisfaction point report monthly (LOL I presume he is going to have one hell of a shock when he sees). pp156-157

Knock Knock Knock

WHO IS IT THO?

[a-fire-that-isnt-burning]

yeah I have no idea WHAT he was thinking so your guess is as good as mine

Haven't actually read scum villain yet but i'm pretty sure this is sqq.

Friends who have read svsss please weigh in.

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a situation where SQQ gets a look at Luo Binghe's package (post-Abyss but pre-Maigu Ridge, or in an AU where Maigu Ridge doesn't happen) through like, the outline of his pants or whatever (maybe Binghe took a wardrobe tip from Jareth of Labyrinth), and then got to thinking about how huge Luo Binghe's meat is, like in an actually non-sexual way this time just his brain gets onto a tangent about a bunch of scenes from PIDW where the descriptions varied wildly, and then he starts wondering about exactly what size it is, because to go by the novel's descriptions it's either bigger than average but not insane or there's another arm stuffed into that codpiece somehow. Surely it's closer to the former than the latter? SQQ doesn't have any other evidence that physical limitations in this world are that different from his own world, but then again, would it come up in any of his conversations if women in this world have sufficiently cavernous vaginas for damn near every virgin Bingge met to accommodate a dick that big? Does it at least make childbirth easier? He hasn't exactly polled anyone on it, so it could be the case. But what about the back door, so to speak? There were a few sex scenes that went in that direction, forbidden tunnel of love type stuff and it was all incredibly bad and cheesy, but of course, SQQ actually has a "back door" too and surely he would notice if it was possible to stick his own arm up it. Although it's also not as if he's tried, and as a peak lord with a fantasy metabolism he doesn't actually have to take a shit either, his body processes everything extremely efficiently and it's been years since... well anyway it's not like he's had occasion to investigate it much, now that he's thinking about it. Maybe he can? Not that this is relevant information to anything though and given the inconsistencies the probable limitations of the numerous people PIDW Binghe had sex with, his package, though prodigious, is probably not actually that big of a weapon. How could he even comfortably keep it contained otherwise...? Etc etc etc.

Meanwhile the entire time he's having this internal spiel, he's just... staring. At Luo Binghe's dick. Really blatantly. It doesn't even occur to him that he's doing something incriminating about his interests or possible attraction precisely because he's not, for once, getting flustered about it (much) but is in fact genuinely vexed by the mystery. This is not so much a case of imagining Luo Binghe's dick as wondering about fantasy physiology. So he's lost track of where his gaze has wandered.

The longer it goes on for though the more flustered Luo Binghe gets though. Like, should he say something? Is this a prelude to Shizun making a move? Is there... something wrong with it? Why is he staring so intently? Is Shizun aware that he has just been looking straight at Luo Binghe's dick for almost ten minutes now...? He should definitely say something, right? Maybe this is his chance! Or maybe he should wait and see what Shizun does next? Should he try a line? Something suave? Ask if he wants to see it! Shizun can absolutely see Binghe's dick if he wants to! No wait, but what if Shizun is planning on making a move and he ruins it by being impatient? He should wait and see where this is going.

...How long is it going to take, though...?

Luo Binghe's brain frazzles between trying to decide if he should make a move or prepare to be receptive towards one, or maybe check and make sure his dick hasn't turned into tentacle or something without him noticing, while Shen Qingqiu slooowly (very slowly) begins to realize that yes, he has been staring at Luo Binghe's dick while lost in thought for such a long time that now it's weird. It's definitely weird. He should look away now, at once, except now if he stops staring at Binghe's dick it's going to end whatever stalemate this is and he's probably going to have to explain why he was ogling it in the first place, and he definitely cannot explain anything, so he just keeps staring while furiously trying to think of a non-gay explanation for why he's now glaring intensely at Luo Binghe's crotch.

...He can't think of anything. Oh god. This is a disaster. Luo Binghe is going to kill him for being a perve!

(Good luck, Binghe.)

[zykamiliah]

What kind of skeletons do you think are in SY's closet?

so the context for that is the conversation he's having with sqh, when the latter asks him if he sees lbh as "the apple of his eyes" and adored him as his "darling baby and disciple", going on on how sqq had been "out of his mind with grief, his thoughts wandering all over the place", according to th qjp disciples, and how he would call lbh's name and stand at the sword mound and "sigh in sorrow" (lmao if it weren't for the qjp disciples gossiping about it we would NEVER learned of what was going on with sqq post-IAC)

then sqh asks the million dollars question

“Cucumber-bro, can I ask, how did you see Luo Binghe? I remember you were one of his fans, right? You roasted a huge number of the characters I wrote, but even so, you never roasted him. To you, is he a character, or is he a…”

and sqq panics in his mind and thinks that sqh's interrogation was similar in tone to "high-school girls gossiping in the dorms after lights-out":

“Tell me! Do you have a crush on ___?” “N-no, what are you talking about!” “Dodging the question~ Don’t be shy O(∩_∩)O ha ha~” “I hate you, go to bed!” Lightning. Lightning from the nine heavens! Shang Qinghua was in fact innocent. He was honestly asking and was interested in discussing the matter. It was Shen Qingqiu who was overthinking the skeletons in his closet.

sqh was not asking if sqq had gay feelings/a crush on lbh, yet sqq's mind immediately jumped to that assumption lol you don't do that if you're straight lol and it definitely feels like it's a situation he's been before, where he's had to suppress and hide from himself his feelings for men. he even (mentally or otherwise) slaps himself when he's having what he deems "inappropriate" thoughts about binghe and/or his relationship with binghe

He was scaring his disciples, putting on the act of a grieving widow whose husband had just died. Hadn’t it been only a couple of days since he’d last seen that child? No! Bah! Shen Qingqiu mentally slapped himself. Who are you calling a grieving widow?! Whose husband died?! That’s not something you should just say—you’re really getting worse by the day. A negative mindset produces nothing good. You deserve a slap! ch4. conference

and then later in the borderlands when he thinks about what name lbh would have if he'd been born in the demon realm

(...)then Luo Binghe might as well be…Heavenly Pillar-Jun? Ha ha ha ha, fuck! Luo Heavenly Pillar! Ha ha ha ha, how painfully exhilarating! Shen Qingqiu had been laughing for a while when he abruptly slapped himself. The fuck is wrong with you?! Getting carried away, using the Great Master protagonist to come up with a tasteless dirty joke in your head! What’s funny about this? Don’t you get that some people are off-limits for your crass humor?!

he's just...very repressed 🫠

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu can fight. We've established he can fight and he knows how to throw a punch

Shang Qinghua despite his modus operandi can also fight when needed and can definitely throw a punch

But I just know in my gut that if those two got into it they would go straight for grade school antics of hair pulling, biting, and ineffective but still vicious kicking

Shen Qingqiu would go so far as to pin Shang Qinghua down in order to hock a loogie on him and Shang Qinghua would retaliate with a wet willy or something

There is something in their souls that means when they get into a physical altercation with eachother they turn into children

[megapocalypse]

.

I think Shen Yuan's reluctance to accept his own feelings and emotions is the crux of why he unintentionally hurt LBH, or at least I think it's allegorical for something similar. He's a neurodivergent 20 something year old who's in the closet and represses his emotions, he's definitely not a guy to be trusted by words but rather action.

When he doesn't want to come to terms with something he either denies it, doesn't think about it, or pretends it's because of something else.

(if we wanna take this further off tangent onto an analysis of depression: I relate to these feelings quite a bit. Mental health issues are a work in progress within society, and when you feel that way you expect there's supposed to be a "reason" for feeling that way.

You have a good life, a good family and home, so why are you feeling this way? Why aren't you happy? Why do you feel different? You don't want to be different.

Shen Yuan could be feeling this way, but he wouldn't say it, or think about it, because even if he is, he doesn't want to be so he just won't be.)

Oh he's depressed? No he isn't. He's gay for Binghe? Nope, he's as straight as an arrow he just appreciates Binghe's dick from time to time like a normal heterosexual male. He's crying? No see it's just the sun in his eyes or the pain he felt earlier. His balls hurt looking at Binghe? Oh man it must be because of the cold room or the fear.

Oh he keeps dying? (Crickets)

Nobody wants to be different. Shen Qingqiu wants to be normal and he'll tell you he's normal. But he's not normal. That guy's a fucking weirdo.

Because he refuses to acknowledge his own feelings and depersonalizes, he in turn fails to acknowledge his own surroundings and his effect on people.

The transmigration aspect is taking the allegorical to the literal, he sees people and his surroundings as characters, through the story he learns not only of the effect he has on these "characters" who are now real people in his eyes, but this also coincides with him coming to terms with his own hang ups, his feelings, and his sexuality.

Because of his own lack of acknowledgement towards his own feelings and the way he evades those emotions, he hurts Binghe in the process. It's only when he learns to acknowledge the change he caused within Binghe and his feelings he had for Binghe, that's when they can finally mend their relationship.

Anyway both of them are deranged but they're deranged together 💞. They're both so fucked but fucked enough to the point that the mess tangles up in odd places and weirdly enough those pieces just end up fitting.

See, the strange and almost voyeuristic dynamic they play up where the crybaby disciple gets himself lightly scolded and comforted by his teachermommy is healthy for them. In a very strange and fucked up Freudian way.

And you need to understand, the uncomfortable milf and little baby roleplay they do in public is, in fact, very productive for their relationship and it's vital everybody and their grandmother is watching them, see, it's very therapeutic actually

Wait where are you going

[afsosville]

An extension to the PIDW x Ever After High AU

The first post was pretty short so I'm going to put it here too.

For clarity, the 'parents' in this AU are the OG PIDW characters, and will go by their courtesy name, and the children are an AU version of them and have their birth name (so SQQ is the parent and SJ is the kid, YQY is the parent and YQ is the kid, LBG, is the parent, and  LBM is the kid, or at least a more mentally stable version of Bingmei? etc) 

SJ is pretty much fanon SJ, and a very mellowed out version of him, since in this AU, he didn't end up as a slave. Still traumatized tho. I like my Shen Jius traumatized. Shen Jiu is Raven in this AU, and he DOES NOT like his destiny. That's putting it lightly. NO ONE is happy. YQ doesn't want to be forced to abandon SJ and go through a horrifying qi deviation in the Lingxi Caves. And have his little brother's severed legs be sent to him as a present one day, and walk to his death the next. Yikes. Liu Mingyu doesn't want to die prematurely and have his shixiong be falsely accused of his murder. And Binghe doesn't like it either because he had a better childhood too, and is, well, disturbed, by the shit his father did, and the fate that's written for him. Binghe has his issues and he's that one quote "My father is the worst man alive and I am his favourite son". Like he knows the shit his dad did was completely unhinged. Him and the Book of Legends bear most of his hatred, and he never really has anything against Shen Jiu.

Everything just sorta revolves around everyone finding out what kinda person 'Shen Qingqiu' really is, along with the defying destiny thing Ever After High had going on. All the kids are just getting along far better than any of their parents did. The other mxtx characters are in here too, Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, Wen Ning, etc. 

LBG is totally going to be here too. He's acting all creepy towards SJ, like this mf is so close to tearing his off limbs too, and he's really tryna hold himself back. And he's fully planning to torture him too once his son puts Shen Jiu is the water prison because his SQQ is already dead. When he sees SJ in the flesh, he's eying him in a way that screams "I'm going to own you and there's little stopping me from having you in chains like your father." SJ is not so subtly hiding behind LBM, while LBM is so ready to fight his father to the death for SJ. 

The OG PLs from PIDW will definitely have some fucking regrets and will try to make it up to SJ coz the person they actually wronged is long dead (or is he?). And the peak lord kids are running interference everytime their parents want to get close to SJ, with maybe the exception of SQH and LQG. OG! LQG is alive because. Well I'll think of smt later. Plant body revival???? 

QHT has a son and a daughter who are supposed to be QJL and QHT, as is their so-called destiny. During Legacy Day, the kid that's supposed to end up like QJL sees flashes of his uncle's life and ofc he'll end up seeing the abuse SQQ endured under him. It is at that moment, what really happened in the Qiu manor was revealed. QHT's son is actually a chill dude who hates his destiny too and hates his uncle even more. SJ and QHT's kids are cool with each other, and this pisses off QHT so much lol.

Now more onto SQQ.

This mf is ALIVE and KICKING. And by that I mean he absolutely did pull mushroom body getaway and did some serious demonic cultivator bullshit to animate his dead body like some voodoo god. LBG was straight up torturing a corpse lol. SQQ originally didn't want to sign either but decided to do it anyway because he knew LBG definitely wanted to. SQQ thought that he should legitimately try to kill him so he doesn't turn into that. SQQ knew that ofc he would ultimately die in the end, but thought his villain halo could still try to do some damage to LBG, and to prevent his rise to power, and work against the destiny he signed at the same time. Obviously, the protagonist still had to come out on top and SQQ failed miserably. So. Mushroom getaway>>

Listen, those mushrooms were obviously supposed to be used in the OG PIDW. and somehow weren't iirc. And it was supposed to be used by a villain. So yes, SQQ's generation does end up being PIDW complacent. Except SQQ is a smartass and is living his life away from any destiny bullshit rn.

SJ/LBM will reunite with SQQ.

SQQ will end up liking LBM but he's still a mother hen, so he'll be giving him a really hard time before he's ready to let him anywhere near his son.

SQQ was separated from his son until this point. The name SQQ meant to give him was Jiu, as in turtledove. Which has this whole meaning of 'enduring love'. He meant for SJ to not turn out like him and to live out his best life despite what life throws at him. I absolutely love the fics where the author makes the Jiu in Shen Jiu be the character for turtledove. And with SQQ-J taking care of his younger self in a way. SQQ and SJ are going to have the fluffiest father-son relationship because I deem it to be so. Unlike LBG and LBM, my badd:/ Have fun with those daddy issues, buddy.

Within the chaos that is SQQ's mind, he really did not regret doing what he did to LBG, but y'know, having some time to himself while he was on his sabbatical, he learnt a few things about himself, and how he used LBG's future self to justify trying to kill smn who otherwise didn't do anything wrong (yet). And the fact that things could've turned out better if he truly went with his heart and hadn't signed the book like his son will HAUNT HIM. Sure LBG may or may not have wanted his destiny but SQQ definitely didn't!! He could've fucked up his story by not signing it just the same!! This is totally not eating him up alive!! Yup!! He just haddddd to sign it and thought be could kill LBG to avoid future devastation. Said future devastation still came to pass lol. RIP SQQ's sanity, I truly feel for you.

Let me make this worse. LBG didn't want to sign it either and was peer pressured into doing it. He genuinely thought he could reason with SQQ after Legacy Day and tell him he really didn't want them to hurt each other. And he was so sure SQQ felt the same way, he could've sworn they were on the same page- but then he saw how determined SQQ was to sign the Book of Legends on Legacy Day. And when SQQ's hardened gaze locked in on LBG, he met SQQ's eyes, promising a future of pain for them both. LBG ignores the way his heart shatters at the resolution.

Look, enemies to lovers BingJiu is fine and all, but consider LOVERS to ENEMIES BINGJIU!!! I'm just imagining BingJiu animatics in head with Taylor Swift's Bad Blood egckfxv.,

Coz yes, even the prev B9 gen totally had smt going on. Too bad for them tho, it ain't happening.

The rest is stuff from the first post >>>

Imagine how fucked up it would be if Shen Jiu is up there doing the book signing ceremony that seals his destiny of becoming the next 'Shen Qingqiu', and the mirrors display him getting thrown away by his martial siblings at the trial, and his limbs being torn off and other despicable tortures, and being brought down so low that your humanity is stripped away from you, all for an audience to see. And they cheer. The crowd is ecstatic, perhaps even more so than when his father, Shen Qingqiu, was put on trial.

 Shen Jiu x Pain is my favourite ship, can you tell??

Shen Jiu is barely 15 when this happens and every goddamn person is reveling in this child getting tortured. Amidst the sea of people who loathe him, there is one person not advocating for his death, and that is LBH’s son!! The very person that’s supposed to kill him!!! When LBM sees the same hopelessness that he feels in SJ’s eyes, he decides at that moment that he will be SJ’s number one defender. Everything else be damned. When SJ announces that he will not be pledging to a life of misery, LBM gets up on that stage and makes it clear that he won’t either. 

OML I did smt cool. You see the parallel I just fucking made wowwwwww.

Snippets that my mutes made for this AU 🩷🩷🩷

By Sleepyssnail

By Celestialbruise

Og post

[irrealisms]

svsss and sexual violence pt. 2: gender and homophobia

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this one's also got a CW for, well, homophobia and sexism. this section is approximately 1k.

(also: shoutout to @rooses40stepskincareroutine for motivating me to actually write all this out!)

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia (you are here) pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society

We talked in the previous post about how Shen Yuan begins the story oblivious to himself as a potential target for sexual violence, and that his realization that he is in danger of this is the same as his realization that he is a target of male sexual desire. One of the quotes I think about a lot here is a much later quote:

Yeah right! Like he’d dare share a room with Luo Binghe. A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted he was still straight! His willingness to read a stallion novel like Proud Immortal Demon Way was rock-solid proof!

And--on the one hand, this is funny. I'm not going to say this isn't funny, because it is; we as the reader know that Shen Qingqiu is obviously not straight and that reading stallion novels does not actually make you straight. In light of this, his insistence that he is straight is funny!

But. There's also two other things going on here:

We all know the trope of the predatory gay man, right? Gay men (and queer people in general, though the specifics of this vary by sexuality/gender) are seen as inherently sexually predatory; you see this in the idea of gay men "converting" straight men and boys through rape/molestation, you see this in AIDS-era fears of HIV+ men who deliberately tried to spread HIV (often through rape) as much as possible, you see this in modern-day grooming panics. one of the most common ways homophobia manifests is this sort of idea--as a teenager, one of my friend's parents stopped letting me have sleepovers once they learned I was a lesbian, because they didn't want me sleeping in the same room as their daughter; you see stories of people kicking gay people out of changing rooms, of refusing to touch them/let them touch others, and generally isolating them from platonic intimacy with the same gender due to the specter of gay people being sexually predatory. Shen Qingqiu's narration very deliberately calls this to mind: A straight man and a gay one staying in the same room? That was just asking for death. there's interesting things to say here about how mxtx interacts with this trope in her other two novels--lwj and hc are both definitely also engaging with this trope, though very differently--but i'll keep this post focused on scum villain.

however. as established in part one: luo binghe has in fact sexually assaulted and been sexually predatory towards shen qingqiu. between the kiss in the dream and here, we get two major moments: the first, where luo binghe admits he knew it was the real shen qingqiu and not a dream construct when he sexually assaulted SQQ in the dream, and the second, where luo binghe holds shen qingqiu down, tears off his clothes, and explicitly threatens to rape him. which...yes, luo binghe clarifies shortly after (when sqq starts dying) that he wasn't actually going to rape sqq, he just wanted to scare him. but, uh, holding someone down and then--while they try to fight--kissing them, tearing off their clothes, and telling them that you're going to rape them? that is still very much SA. so sqq's fears of LBH are ... well, they're justified, and they're coming from a place of trauma.

I... have some genuinely fairly mixed feelings about how MXTX handles this combination in SVSSS? right now i'm not actually doing very critical analysis of the text tbh, so i won't go into it, but i invite you to think about it for yourself about it!

that said, i have more things to say on other topics. specifically: SY thinks of himself as a straight man, and thus safe. but he's been put in a very feminized position by the narrative. he's constantly on the other end of LBH's wife plots, to the point where, in the extras, the culmination of their marriage involves LBH calling him "wife". the genre change is vital to understanding this--he's no longer a man in the real world, or even a man in a stallion novel; he's a shou in a danmei. (and while there's a lot of discourse on the feminization of bottoms in M/M, esp written by women, i want to emphasize that this isn't exclusive to chinese-language M/M--go read some omegaverse on ao3 to see some men being feminized by the narrative in much more extreme ways, without any of the interesting commentary on genre!) now, this is a role that is also very distinct from being a woman--especially on the doylist level, the [shou/uke/bottom] in M/M is generally written better and is more central to the narrative with fewer sexist tropes than the actual women in the story, and svsss is no exception to this--but it's still very distinctly feminized. something I think about in this regard is how his internet handle, "Peerless Cucumber", is misheard in SVSSS as "Peerless Chrysanthemum"--his name has been changed, by the setting, from something representing [penis/topping] to [anus/bottoming]. It's a representation of traditionally male bottoming, it represents the anus and not the vagina, but it's still a very literal emasculation of Shen Yuan by the setting of SVSSS! another sample quote:

In conclusion: So the female lead’s role was going to Shen Qingqiu again, huh?

this is also particularly interesting to me because of the ways SQQ is sexist, just like the previous quote is interesting because of how SQQ is homophobic. another quote, from earlier in the book:

He was a man, yet he had been forced to meekly tell another man that he would “submit to him,” in front of so many people. And above all, the other man was his former disciple, which made it even more frustrating and shameful.

again, we see his sexism and anxieties around masculinity being tied up in his anxieties around sexual abuse. he sees putting himself in a position where he's at risk for sexual abuse (because he is doing that, he has just learned that LBH knew he was real when sexually assaulting him in the dream, and he is now agreeing to submit & go home with him) as shameful. why? because he's a man. the implications that it's shameful for men to be sexually submissive or get sexually abused (which are conflated here and throughout the novel by SY, although other characters draw a distinction! but SY's views on ~kink, both D/s and S&M, while fascinating and very relevant to the bingqiu relationship and his relationship w queerness, would be thoroughly a tangent here--ask me if you want another post on the subject lol), because men should be "stronger" than that, but it would not be shameful for a woman, because women are supposed to submit to (and be sexually abused by) men, is left as an exercise for the reader. so ... he's being wildly sexist! but even here you can see he's being sexist because he's being emasculated. because he's being pushed into the "female" role, instead of the "male" one, and when it comes to sexual violence & the fear thereof, that's a dangerous place to be. once again, being a man doesn't protect him: a lesson he will keep learning.

there's more to say about gender & sexual violence in SVSSS about other characters, but that mostly gets addressed in the next post, except for my thoughts on gender that aren't about sexual abuse (i have a LOT of these--mostly about bing-ge vs bing-mei, but also about shen yuan's view of femininity as inherently degrading and painful, which the text does not agree with even as it does agree that the societal baggage of femininity often comes with sexual violence; again, ask me if you want another post about that, it would not be part of this meta series but i DO have things to say on it). thanks for reading this one!

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Bonus Chapter 26

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

This chapter took me two days to go through! It's SO LONG (120 pages). I wanted to post yesterday but I got 60 pages in and started fading. Winter is here and the sun keeps disappearing too quickly, your boy is feeling the SAD.

The tea photo is from today and not yesterday- I tried out a new one it's almond amaranth and rooibos.

let's get into this monster of a chapter!

Fuck yeah, we have an airplane POV! Though this chapter is BEEFY. I think I'm going to read half today and half tomorrow before posting it (present me: and I did! ^-^).

I love that we are getting all of these forum comments. This is so fun! One of my favourite brands of fics are fics that include elements of social media/forum/blog style au's and this is a vibe! pp140-147

This guy is not wrong "Even though this famous Lord Cucumber spewed criticism constantly and without end in 'Great Master' Airplane's comment section, his subscription payments and demands for updates never waned. Because of this 'Great Master Airplane had come to suspect that this person was a masochist". p148 I mean yeah lol

OMG what an awful way to die! Alone in your house, let's be real - likely in his underwear- via electrocution induced by his sad instant ramen noodle dinner. p149

and the fact that he transmigrated so young. He was there for a while before the plot plotted with SY. 17 years old! p150. I do wonder if there is a wiggly time thing. Like years in the transmigrated novel equal like hours in the world he came from or something. They died close together I think? anyways- any theories on this are welcome!

Same though- Airplane is so real for this. The way in which I would just want to spill all of the foreknowledge and secrets to people I held in my brain as the creator of this universe p153

The SASS [Tip Complete. We wish you the best of luck]. p155

Are you kidding! This man didn't even write the plot that led for his main spy character to becoming a spy...dang man. the potholes are real bad. p156

Okay but this would seriously be me af. I am such a wimp- and that is totally okay! In the face of most definitely death, I would submit myself to being the Little Bitch Boy and pledge myself, my body, my undying love, to my new demon overlord and master. Good for baby him ahaha. p158

"As Shang Qinghua overflowed with snot and tears, clinging on for dear life, begging to pledge fealty to Mobei-Jun - wholly without warning, the demon collapsed." p160 Again, same. I'm feeling seen with Airplane here XD Screaming, crying, throwing up.

Man. I really see how these two end up together (I'm assuming they do?). He had a solid chance to murder the guy and he just couldn't because the character is just his ideal man. p162

"This character had been created entirely to the author's own tastes" p163 MHMMM. Yeah he was.

ehehehe and here we have the only one bed trope at the inn he got to nurse his ideal man back to health. p165

This guy is so shameless. Straight up just watching Mobei-Jun strip while he sits there and snacks. p169

It is so unhinged that this man just has a string tied to his neck pp170-171

that congee- YARF "clear as water" sounds so unappealing p174

"When in doubt- just cry" - Airplane definitely p176

The security on this mountain is so shit. Demons just popping in all the time under the radar. Mobei-jun literally lived there for three days no one even knew XD p183

awww, Airplane tried to warn Liu Qingge about the upcoming Qi deviation. That was nice of him. p190

Yes! Thank you! The scene I have been waiting for; in which the other characters are all like "wtf is up with shen qingqiu? He really is 100% different overnight, but also, no one say anything to him because we like this him better" p192

Fair though, I too would think that SQQ was possessed p194

The way in which airplane is SHAKEN by the actions of SQQ right now is so funny. Him frozen expression, this is NOT the character I wrote what the fuck is happening. p206

Someone commented on an earlier chapter post I had about the theory that the system is the manifestation of airplane's actual wants for the story and like- I stand with this theory. It really checks out with this POV the man keep's fantasizing of a queer man story and like he sure does get it. p207

LOOOOL oh no. the fact that the man who created these characters - VERY different than this experience. Has to listen to Binghe "If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand you intentions?" p208.

Not airplane giving LBH love advice just so cucumber bro can literally Get Fucked. pp212-213

AND THEN HIS ADVICE BACKFIRES WITH MOBEI-JUN LOL"So, if you want to be liked by a man, the best method is to act pathetic?" p214. Like he set this up for himself

Wait. Airplane had the option to return home! And he just didnt??? p217

Airplane really is weak for these villainous men. The way in which he describes Linguang-Jun is so simpy. p228

The drama. Airplane doing the MOST to save Mobei-jun. This man could have avoided all of this and just gone home. What a horrible torture! :( p235

Get it airplane! You yell at him ahaha p237-238

I AM SCREAMING. Airplane: I'm your daddy! p239 AND THEN him just leaving in a panic because he really thinks he's going to get murdered after that outburst LOL

I love SQQ sitting in domesticity with his man giving airplane love advice pp244-245

Awww, Mobei-Jun came back for his boyfriend! He's going to make him hand pulled noodles :'3 p255 I honestly think that Mobei-jun actually needed to be bossed around this entire time

BYE. LOL SGH deciding to continue writing in this world by basically writing slash fanfiction about LBH/SQQ + the other peak lords/famous cultivators LOL p256. Good for him ahaha.

We did it!

This chapter was such a ride ahaha. it was fun to see the POV for airplane but also him and the progression of his weird AF relationship with Mobei-jun. I honestly kind of love these two. They were such a mess in the beginning but it ended so soft :'3

[incognito-lionbeast]

Saw a post about an SY!SQQ AU that, upon transmigration, the System genderbent SQQ's body & the implications thereof. So, now I'm thinking about such things...

and honestly? Trans woman SQQ is very fun & good, don't get me wrong. But what I think would be even funnier is "accidentally gender fluid/bi-gender Shen Qingqiu" because obviously he's still a man, despite the physical changes.

(and as such, obviously can't bathe/etc around women, because he's a man & it would be inappropriate! It's definitely not because he's not interested in women...)

Except for when she's not a man (because of the physical changes). This is usually around Luo Binghe, because SQQ is doing an insane amount of mental gymnastics so s/he can be straight. And it's only natural that she's attracted to Binghe & his protagonist's halo like this, because she's a woman.

Schrodinger's gender all the way down. Both true & false in perpetuity.

[lifeofmysteries]

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Fic Recs - Bingqiu

Fic recs specifically for the ship Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan!Shen Qingqiu. Fell down a deep SVSSS hole for the past year and have read so many fics. SVSSS has so many amazing fic authors, I have never been so blessed with a fandom.

Fic recs under the read more

High Mountain, How I Long by Minimalistless (14k, complete)

Shen Qingqiu, after enduring his trial, is placed into Luo Binghe’s custody at Huan Hua Palace.

This is one of the most bookmarked fic in the SVSSS fandom so I don't technically need to rec it, but I will anyway because it's just that good. The angst is incredible. SQQ communicate properly challenge (he'll lose).

may-june relationship by kitschlet (1.2k, complete)

Luo Binghe rolls to his back, looking up at their bed’s canopy. “When you invited me to sit in your carriage... that was you?”

“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says warily.

“I was fourteen,” Luo Binghe says. “But if Shen Qinqgiu’s body wasn’t your own, how old were you?”

Very funny and a quick read. Poor Binghe loses a kink.

wedding suprises: the bad, the worse, and the downright miserable by nyoomerr (17k, complete)

Fresh from the Abyss and having just gained a seat of power in the Demonic Empire, Luo Binghe arranges for a marriage between himself as the Heavenly Demon Lord and Shen Yuan as a representative of Cang Qiong. It will be perfect, and Shen Yuan will love him and the marriage just as much as Luo Binghe does, because there is no reason for Shen Yuan not to love Luo Binghe just as much as he had when Luo Binghe was just a human servant of Cang Qiong.

It will be so good, in fact, that Luo Binghe decides to make it a surprise - so Shen Yuan comes to the Demonic Empire having no clue that his fiance is Luo Binghe at all.

(Surprise! It doesn't go as smoothly as Luo Binghe had planned.)

Nyoomerr is one of my favourite authors in the SVSSS fandom for how they write the relationship between LBH and SQQ, they really capture that angsty miscommunication that hurts both of them without it feeling forced.

Keeping Secrets a.k.a HOT CULTIVATOR IMBIBES TRUTH POLLEN AND DIES (of mortification) (not clickbait) by cinnamonsnaps (3k, tagged as incomplete but reads as if complete IMO)

"I bet you would beg," Shen Qingqiu said with a snort, letting his eye slide shut. The following silence was somehow remarkably loud. He cracked his eye open again. Luo Binghe was staring at him, face flushed red, hands frozen on Shen Qingqiu's ankle. "... shizun?" 

-

Shen Qingqiu gets forced to tell the truth about a lot of things, unfortunately.

Very funny, always love truth serumed SQQ bc there are so many truths he doesn't acknowledge about himself that being truth serumed reveals. no hiding behind the metaphorical fan of his words anymore

speak your mind (not that much!) by nyoomerr (8.2k, complete)

Before the investigation in Jinlan City, Shen Qingqiu is hit by a curse that forces him to speak his mind. Unfortunately, this means that the first thing he does when he sees Luo Binghe for the first time in three years is to tell Luo Binghe that he's grown up to be really quite pretty.

Luo Binghe, not sure what's going on but absolutely enjoying the ride, abandons all his plans immediately. He has new priorities now, including but not limited to: 

- get his Shizun to call him 'pretty' again - steal his Shizun away from his (probably in existence) harem - ???

Nyoomerr u r the best <3. great miscommunication. lbh going through a rollercoaster of emotions

you are who you love by kitschlet (39k, complete)

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by an amnesia wife plot that selectively erases Luo Binghe from his memories. Luckily, the cure is simple: Luo Binghe just has to make him fall in love all over again.

Kitschlet another one of the SVSSS authors where you should read through every one of their works. Very funny seeing SQQ back in 'definitely straight' mode where everyone around him knows the opposite.

night of yearning by tagteamme (39k, complete)

Luo Binghe develops a gap in his memory, one that is shaped specifically like Shen Qingqiu.

“Binghe, speak to this master,” Shen Qingqiu says firmly, and Luo Binghe gives him a strange look. Shen Qingqiu can’t place it and he leans forward, intending to get closer to see better. But the hand around his wrist instantly tightens to the point where it hurts, and Shen Qingqiu lets out a squawk of pain. “Binghe—!” “Why do you keep calling me like that?” Luo Binghe returns, and Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen at the way the words are devoid of any emotion. It is nothing though, compared to the force of what Luo Binghe says next. “Who are you?”

This is like the twin fic to go with Kitschlet's. Poor SQQ, not a fun situation for him. Tagteamme's fics are also rlly good, highly recommend going through their account

Plastromancy by x_los (16k, complete)

"One night, Luo Binghe notices something odd about the way his blood is pooling on the floor of the woodshed."

A twelve year old Luo Binghe meets his Other Shizun.

Forces you to confront the tragic realities of what transmigration means. Includes LBH being horrific. Love it

Futility in Practice by TGP (31k, complete)

When Luo Binghe is fourteen years old, his shizun suffers a terrible qi deviation and fever that completely changes who he is.

A time loop from the perspective of a the person outside of the loop. Some of the loops are very painful but the ending is so sweet.

prophets on hold by nex_et_nox (13k, complete)

Luo Binghe led the charge in the trial against Shen Qingqiu in < Proud Immortal Demon Way >. By all rights, the concept of a trial shouldn’t even be a glimmer in anyone’s eye until Shen Qingqiu’s blackened lotus has crawled his way out of the hell Shen Qingqiu tossed him in.

So why is Shen Qingqiu wrapped in immortal binding cables and locked away in the Huan Hua Water Prison?!

[or: Luo Binghe is precisely one (1) year late getting out of the Abyss. This does not put a halt on anyone else's plans.]

Damsel SQQ rights. LBH can't stay angry at such a pitiful figure

[myfaveisfuckable]

Dokja:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

3. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

4. He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers: turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu:

Read a million-word porno for the plot, left a scathing criticism on every chapter, finished in like 20 days, and got so upset about it that he ate expired yogurt and died. Told his husband that if he'd been pregnant with him, he would have absorbed poison at the cost of his own life for him. Has never been interested in any women romantically or sexually but is completely convinced he's totally straight, probably even while married to and regularly sleeping with his husband, who he loves. His first solution to any dangerous situation is to die about it.

[masiethewriter]

Honored Eternal Path of Demise CH. 19 - Forest Meeting

Turning around a bit too quickly, Binghe's eyes fall upon the open frame in Shen Qingqiu's hand. He reaches across the table and Shen Qingqiu holds it out for Binghe to grab the note. As he does, the tiniest metal key falls from between the note and picture, landing on the table with a clatter.  "Eh?"

First Chapter ~~ Previous Chapter ~~ AO3 Link

The painting depicts that of a man and a woman standing together. 

The man is what first stands out when entering the room. His clothes mark his high status with a tailored black cloak and matching trousers. The entire outfit is decorated with details of red, simultaneously making him appear fashionable as well as looking like droplets of blood.

Though the reason he is noticeable is not his outfit, but rather the state of his face.

The painting appears to still be in good condition. The frame is golden and shiny as if it is still being cleaned every day. The colored paint is vibrant as if it was just painted on. The canvas strong and flat.

Only his face has become a rotten unrecognizable mess. The paint and cloth molding together like a piece of spoiled meat.

The combination of the spoiled face with the bloodied outfit makes a chill run down the spine of anyone looking upon him.

In contrast, the woman is bright and handsome. Her golden dress fall elegantly down her body, the painter having perfectly caught every wave of the material. Her long dark hair weaved together in an intricate pattern. Jewelry adorn her throat and dress, each gemstone looking as real as if they could be picked out of the painting.

What comes unexpected for a woman like this is the pure aura of strength that surrounds her.

Standing even taller than the man, her back is straight as she looks straight ahead. Her expression is confident and proud, an air of authority to it. There is nothing docile or submissive about her, even the muscles of her arms are visible even through the sleeves of her dress.

While both give quite different impressions, there is no doubt about their relationship as the man embraces the woman, who in turn is embracing her own stomach, heavy and round with child.

There is no doubt this is the lord and lady of the mansion that looks down upon those who enter this room. 

Shen Qingqiu remembers this painting very clearly. In general, he tends to find the paintings in the mansion memorable, usually thanks to the beautiful artwork that would depict them in the game. Quite often they would also stand out having hidden secrets incorporated into them.

This one being no different. This painting being one step in the puzzle needed to get to the shortcut that Shen Qingqiu aims for.

His attention caught on the painting, he does not notice Binghe stepping up to him until a blanket suddenly is thrown over his head. He lets out a surprised "wha-?", which gets interrupted as Binghe immediately begins to rub him roughly with the blanket, the harsh movement an attempt to return warmth to Shen Qingqiu's freezing body. 

Trying to wiggle out of Binghe’s grasp, Shen Qingqiu only manages to free his head from the blanket. Coming face to face with Binghe, the other’s expression is that of worry as he searches Shen Qingqiu's face for any signs of pain. 

The blanket is made of rough wool, scratchy and definitely not made for drying. Binghe is careful not to rub harshly against Shen Qingqiu's burnt arm, but as he looks at the state of the bandages, he does not like what he sees. His careful work has turned into a drenched mess that must be painful against the reddened flesh. 

The state of Shen Qingqiu’s foot looks even worse.

"What happened? How did the trap get triggered?" Binghe asks, his voice sounding lost. 

At the question Shen Qingqiu suddenly remembers. He lifts his hand and the both of them stare down at the note he holds.

This... is so unreal... Shen Qingqiu remembers specifically falling down, barely able to keep his head above water. How in the world has the note not fallen to pieces?? It is just like the drawing in the forest, having been left out in the rain for hours, but easily readable. While the note is dripping with water and has a few smudges along some of the words, even Shen Qingqiu's blurry eyesight can see it is mostly still intact.

Silently Binghe takes the note out of his hand. He looks at it for a moment before he looks back at Shen Qingqiu.

Smack!

Harshly, Binghe hits the table with the note, leaving it there in a crumbled mess. His eyes are shooting lightning as he straightens his back, towering over Shen Qingqiu. Watching him with wide eyes, as Shen Qingqiu sees Binghe open his mouth to speak, he can already guess what he is about to say.

Trying to delay the inevitable, he hurries to interrupt. 

"Okay, listen, I get it, but you have to understand, I had no idea it was a trap! The page was just laying there!" 

"This is the second time you almost died from these notes, Senior! Don't you see you are just putting yourself in danger?!" Stepping closer, Binghe grabs the blanket around Shen Qingqiu, effectively trapping him. Shen Qingqiu isn’t even able to take a single step back, no space for breathing between them.

He understands that Binghe might still be in shock after what just happened, so he tries to argue to his rationality, tone reassuring in contrast to Binghe’s raised voice.

"I didn’t know it was dangerous. It looked no different from the notes in the bedrooms. Since none of those triggered any traps, I did not suspect this one would either. I couldn’t possibly know this one wasn’t safe."

"But why are we collecting the notes in the first place? In what way can they help us as we run for our lives? How can they be used to get us out of here?!"

"I don't know yet, but there must be something. Why else would they just be laying around?"

"Why does there need to be a reason for them laying around?!"

Trying to calm Binghe down, the last words hit Shen Qingqiu like a ball to the face. If it wasn't for Binghe's tight grip on the blanket, he would be stumbling back.

He knows. He knows this makes no sense for Binghe. That without the knowledge of all of this being a video game, Shen Qingqiu's behavior must appear illogical at best and downright suicidal at worst. 

Even Shen Qingqiu is doubting the use of the notes, but why else would they be here? Why else would they constantly stumble upon them? Why else are some of them triggers for traps?

What is the point of them? What is the story? The lore? What can they tell that Shen Qingqiu doesn't already know? Why risk his life for them when he definitely knows the game can be beaten without reading a single page of the diary?

The thing is, Shen Qingqiu is a completionist. And as a completionist, it is just not in his blood to leave obvious collectables laying around when they aren't necessarily dangerous.

For a full minute, Binghe and Shen Qingqiu just stare at each other. Shen Qingqiu has no answer for Binghe's question, but neither is he willing to back down. Instead, he can only look at Binghe with tired eyes.

Without taking his eyes off Shen Qingqiu, Binghe reaches back and grabs the note. Uncrumbling it, he finally looks down. His eyes scan the words, before he reads it out loud.

"The most peculiar thing happened today! I was out collecting mushrooms and I met a little boy! Well, little might not be quite the right word, but his voice sounded young. When I first saw him it looked like he was speaking to himself, but then I found out it was just a little kitten! Once he heard me, he seemed scared at first, but after a few words he calmed down. I have always loved cats very much, so I asked to see the kitten. Once he showed me, I found it was hurt and quite sick. He asked that since I love cats, if there was anything I could do to help it. Of course I couldn't say no to that. So I took the kitten with me, promising to nurse it back to health"

Once he is finished reading, he once again leaves the note on the table. He removes the drenched blanket from Shen Qingqiu, throwing it to the side with a wet splat. He then turns around and wordlessly begins to look through the shelves.

Binghe might be sulking, but Shen Qingqiu on the other hand finally feels the intrigue.

Undoubtedly it was the Killer the maid met must have met. Her descriptions combined with what Shen Qingqiu already knows of the Killers background makes him certain. Though some parts are new. 

Shen Qingqiu has no memory of a kitten mentioned when playing the game? If anything, he would expect the Killer to hurt animals as early signs of his murderous nature? But at least based on the maids' words, that is not the case?

Shen Qingqiu got to admit that his curiosity is piqued. Something must have happened between the Killer and the maid and now he is looking forward to finding out what it is.

If Binghe will be reading any more diary pages for him, that is. 

Binghe is roughly opening each of the many shelves, digging through the papers before moving to the next shelf. His movement is harsh and irritated, but still, as Shen Qingqiu moves over to help him, he pushes a stool over, so he has somewhere to sit.

Shen Qingqiu can't help much with the papers without his glasses, so instead he looks at the desk. Quickly his eyes are caught by a picture frame which he picks up. The black and white picture depicts multiple men and women, standing side by side. They appear as if standing outside, but he finds it hard to make out the details. Underneath the image is a long line of text he has no chance of reading. 

While he looks over the frame, Binghe moves from the shelves to the framed painting of the lord and lady. At the bottom there is a bronze plate with smudged writing on it. Binghe reaches out to try to clean the plate, when he somehow manages to push it back.

In surprise he steps back. The painting slides open, revealing a hidden metal safe behind it. Watching on, Shen Qingqiu is glad that Binghe found out how to open the painting without his help. Studying the safe, Binghe is quick to find it to be locked.

"I wonder if there could be anything of use inside of here," he mutters as he looks at the secure box.

With Binghe distracted, Shen Qingqiu returns his attention to the frame in his hand, turning it around. Opening it from the back, as he removes the wooden covering, he finds another piece of paper inside.

Looking up, Binghe is still focused on the safe. With how much Binghe dislikes the notes, Shen Qingqiu briefly considers not telling him about it. It is clear he won't get Binghe to understand their relevance, so it might be better to keep them for himself.

He would have gone with this thought if it wasn't for his lost glasses. Even if he were to hide the note for later, when would he be able to read it? He has to rely on Binghe for such a simple task, even as it only seems to grow friction between them.

With a sigh he calls him over. "Binghe, I found another note. Will you take a look?"

Turning around a bit too quickly, Binghe's eyes fall upon the open frame in Shen Qingqiu's hand. He reaches across the table and Shen Qingqiu holds it out for Binghe to grab the note. As he does, the tiniest metal key falls from between the note and picture, landing on the table with a clatter. 

"Eh?"

A slip of paper is tied to it with a string and as Binghe picks it up, it reads 'Storage' in bold letters. Turning it this and that way, it is clear it will not fit in the safe, even without the note to declare where it belongs. Turning his attention to the note he looks it over. 

"It is another diary page," he says, quite the obvious statement.

Of course it is another diary page, they have been doing nothing but finding diary pages down here! But Shen Qingqiu can read between the lines. Instead of letting Binghe restart the conversation of the usefulness of the pages, he encourages him to instead read it out loud.

Binghe sighs, but obliges.

"At first I thought the boy had been sneaking into the mansion, but he told me he lives in a hut with his parents. He refuses to tell me who they are or even his name. He also says he isn't allowed to go near the mansion. It sounds like he is very alone, which I find sad for him. But I am glad I then get to keep him company. Today he even gave me a drawing of him, the kitten and me! It was so very sweet. I don't want to risk anyone finding the drawing, though. I am afraid it will get him in trouble with his parents. I have hidden it in the storage room. I know one of the bricks is loose after cleaning up there. No one will suspect me of hiding anything in there.”

Eyeing the key in Binghe’s hand, Shen Qinggiu feels like he just solved a challenging puzzle, but before it turning frustrating. They definitely have to check the storage room for that drawing, it must be of some use!

“I wonder if the drawing is still there,” he says, trying to keep his tone wondering and not too excited. Based on Binghe’s look, he does not believe he is quite successful.

“Senior, I have to ask again. Just what will we get out of this goose chase?”

“We were able to use the drawing at the hut as a map. Who knows what we could use this one for?”

“Being able to use one drawing doesn’t mean we can use another!”

“If we aim to go to the storage room anyway, we might as well check?”

“We don’t even know where the storage room is, Senior.”

“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu tries not to sigh. “If we had found only the key without the note, would you have been this resistant to finding the room?”

Binghe goes deadly quiet. First looking down at the key in his hand, then lifting his head to look directly into Shen Qingqiu’s eyes, he pockets the key.

“Senior is right. Without the note I would be no less afraid about going there than any other place here. But now, instead I worry that Senior will get further hurt if we go there. Is that really so wrong of me?”

Hearing those words, Shen Qingqiu can’t help but soften. Calmly picking up the thrown page, he adds it to the diary he keeps on his person. 

“I appreciate Binghe’s concern, but I ask that you put some trust in me. I am not suicidal and I have learned from past mistakes.” Taking a second to think, he tries for a compromise. “If anything, once we are there, you can look for the drawing? That way you don’t have to worry about me falling into another trap?”

Binghe considers the suggestion. Meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu also thinks that it will be safer in general if Binghe just picks up the notes from now on. With his no-deaths-shield there is no risk of him burning to a crisp or drowning to death like Shen Qingqiu. 

Finally, after heavy contemplation, Binghe nods. 

“That would make me feel better,” he agrees. “If Senior promises not to pick up any more notes, but instead leaves them for me, then I agree we can look for the storage room next.”

“Then that is a deal,” Shen Qingqiu says. He offers his hand for a handshake, which Binghe hesitantly gives. After one shake, Shen Qingqiu feels satisfied and ready to search the rest of the office. 

From here they find little of interest. Shen Qingqiu brings the picture from the frame with him, deciding not to disturb Binghe with it for now. While they have reached an agreement, he doesn’t want to push Binghe’s allowances just yet.

Before they leave, they find one last shelf with a broken drawer. At first Shen Qingqiu assumes they will have to abandon it for some other time, but Binghe surprises him. Without him realizing, Binghe had brought the crowbar he used to release Shen Qingqiu from the bathroom. Having placed it in a corner while they explored the office, he brings it forward to break open the shelf.

It is a success. As the drawer falls open, multiple papers fly out, it being filled to the brim.

As Binghe immediately begins to look through the mess, Shen Qingqiu picks up one of the loose papers that have fallen to the floor.

His eyes widens.

In his hands is a very simply drawn map, completely unlike the child's drawing from the forest. Instead, this must have been drawn by an adult. Straight lines thick enough that even Shen Qingqiu's bad eyesight can see where they go come together to create a maze. Big room-esque squares are connected, each with bold letters written within.

Hurrying to Binghe's side, he hands him the drawing. "Will this be of any help?" He asks.

Looking at the map, Binghe's bad mood dries up as he also becomes eager. "Yes! We can use this to navigate the basement!"

Shen Qingqiu knew it! Sitting together, Binghe is quick to explain the map to him. First he identifies where the office they are currently in is. From there he can not only point out which direction they came from, but more importantly, which direction they should go.

He localizes the storage room and as they check the different routes they can go, one of them passes a room labeled 'Library'. Upon hearing this, Shen Qingqiu becomes even more thrilled!

It is inside the library that the shortcut to the upper floors is! Even while knowing they won't be able to enter it currently, he definitely still wants to check it out. 

In his excitement, he hurries to stand up as fast as he is able. 

"Senior, please wait. I got something I want to check out before we leave," Binghe asks as Shen Qingqiu limps towards the door. There is something of a warning in his voice, as if Shen Qingqiu is left unsupervised for 5 minutes, he will somehow stumble into another trap.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't quite appreciate his worry. Yes, he knows he has been extremely unlucky essentially every time he has been out of Binghe's sight. But that's just it - It is just bad luck. Terrible traps won't just materialize out of thin air like that.

"I will just check that the coast is clear," Shen Qingqiu declares as he reaches the door.

"Senior, if you would just wait for one minute-" Binghe complains, as he stands up. Seeing no reason to wait, Shen Qingqiu peeks into the hallway.

And comes face to face with a masked face. 

Before he can make a sound, the cold hard stone floor rushes towards his face. As his face is pressed harshly against the rough rock, he finds himself unable to breathe as his hurt arm and leg smacks against the ground. Vision turning white for a minute, he can only cry out in pain as his mangled limbs are unable to stand the harsh treatment. 

In the distance he can hear Binghe call out something, but his dizzy mind can't make out what. Then the presence above him suddenly disappears. Footsteps running away sound out before he feels much gentler hands against his body. 

"Senior, are you hurt!? What happened!" Carefully moving him around so Shen Qingqiu is laying on his back, Binghe checks him over for any further injuries.

Shen Qingqiu can only whimper brokenly as the injuries of his arm and leg flare up. Laying there, he fears that the pain killer isn't able to overcome the spasms of pain.

But slowly, the agony weakens until a bearable, but heavy ache. Able to breathe normally again, he shakily lifts his unhurt hand to grasp Binghe's knee.

"I'm fine... I was so surprised, I barely saw what happened..." He shakily says to calm the other.

"Who was that?" Binghe asks, still not past his fretting. "I wasn't able to see anything before they ran!"

"I... It..." Shen Qingqiu hesitates, brain still shaken. Feeling slightly nauseous, he turns his head to the side to calm his shaky vision.

That is when his eyes fall upon a piece of paper. A dropped note. The white paper curled just enough for two clear words to stand out at the top of the paper.

"I have begun sneaking a bit of fruit and leftover cake from the kitchen. No one should notice when I bring it to the boy. I have come to greatly enjoy his company. He talks a bit slow and simple, but I think that is because he is alone so much. He is certainly not dull or senseless, he just takes the time to think. He is always asking about the kitten and I am happy to share that it is almost back to full health."

[zykamiliah]

the many ways shen qingqiu loves luo binghe

this was more or less inspired by this post, but because this is gonna be a personal opinion and i don't want to make a thread of it and inadvertently contest with the other two's points, I'm going to make my own post.

so i wanna start saying that "the moment one falls in love" is a trope that's waaaay too overstated. in my opinion. specially because falling in love tends to be something that has to do with romantic love most of the time, and it pretends to establish a sort of timeline, a point of no return, for ships and fictional relationships.

when the stories surrounding the characters are more straightforward, i don't really mind, since it makes sense for there to be an "Oh" moment when the character realizes they are in love. like, we know the moment lbh started to see sqq in a sexual light, and we can roughly add to this that the events of the demon invasion and the nightmare scenario are what sealed the deal for lbh. it helps that he's more honest about his feelings and the sexual awakening had already happened, and we can easily assume that from that point on lbh's feelings have a romantic-sexual side.

it still has other sides... because lbh loves sqq as a shizun, as a parent, and this side of their relationship, the master-disciple and parent-child side, is intrinsic to their dynamic; it's a conflicting element during their prolonged conflict for most of the novel, but at the same time, it's their default when they want to approach each other, it's the "safe zone".

but when it comes to sqq I think it's a much more difficult thing to ask: when does sqq falls in love? when is his Oh moment? Is there one, a conscious realization that he's in love? Can his relationship with lbh be described as "being in love"?

he loved Luo Binghe The Character

—the way a reader loves a favorite character, and fanboyed about him plenty before and after transmigrating. the shadow of what the little sheep he was raising would became was ever-present throughout those first 6 years before their meeting in Jinlan City.

but he loved lbh the character in a fanatical way that wasn't actually real... it was meaningful to him because he liked this fictional character a lot, but it's a safe love from the side of a screen.

he was compelled by lbh the character, by his tragic backstory full of angst, and by the ways lbh the character did things: he "rightfully" took his anger out in the people who'd hurt him and paid back for it tenfold. in a way, sy as a reader was also projecting himself in lbh the character.

in short, he loved the Idea of luo binghe, but not luo binghe as a real person.

he loved Luo Binghe the White Lotus Disciple

—and he loved him like a parent loves a child. yet, as I mentioned, he always kept in mind that this boy would grew up to be a very attractive and sexual man, and thus sqq expected him to have romantic encounters with girls around his age.

i know some people shy away from talking about this because everyone is paranoid about your favorite character being called a pedophile etc etc, but really, sy could be nothing farther from that, and whoever who says that has a very, hmm, wide definition of the word and it's probably just using the buzzword to hate on the character.

the important thing is that, despite sqq being aware that lbh is a potential sexual being and will become very sexually active in the future, he does not in any way sexualize his and lbh's relationship. Like I said, sqq would never abuse his power in that way, and he'd never get it on with someone he sees as a child, his disciple. that lbh is very much viewing their relationship with romantic and sexual lenses is a complete shock for him because of this, along with other reasons and assumptions (that lbh was straight)

the problem here is, precisely, that he treated lbh like a child once, and would go on treating him as a child later, post-holy mausoleum: disregarding lbh's agency, making decisions for him and without asking what lbh wants, since as the parent he obviously Knows Better, and taking responsibility for lbh's "bad behavior". the endless abyss was a decision he made without consulting lbh. he self-detonated because he thought that would be best for everyone, and he intended for his death to (among other things like saving the city and escaping prison) "make up" for his mistakes. in maigu ridge, he almost kills himself again because he thought that would be better for lbh.

he's self-sacrificing, protective, caring, and overall parental/maternal towards lbh, which has it's good and bad sides. for a long time, he loves lbh like a parent loves a child, and though this side of his love for lbh is not lost in the extras, it's lesser in the sense that the power imbalance is nullified, and the parent-child, shizun-disciple side of their relationship turns more into a comforting, safe roleplay that allows them to access intimacy and express their feelings (that infamous "if i was your mother" speech) than the entirety of their relationship.

and the thing is, he always loved and will always love lbh as a parent loves a child. and i think people uncomfortable with this fact have to get around to accepting that lol

he is subconsciously attracted to luo binghe (bingmei) the Man

we all know this part. sqq's descriptions of lbh's beauty are numerous and far too difficult to quote them all, but one that really stands out to me, because it proves the point, is this one:

[Shen Qingqiu] asked, “The important person you’re talking about, was it…a good-looking young man?” When he thought about it, he decided against suppressing his conscience and clarified. “Not just good-looking, he’s very good-looking, especially good-looking. Fair skin, pretty face, tall. He doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it’s exceptionally dark.” chapter 9: borderlands

if he was unaffected by lbh's attractiveness, he wouldn't need to "suppress his conscience" about it. also this description is just... describing lbh's smile from his own pov? a personal feeling? to a stranger? he has it bad.

he's repressing his own feelings, so it's difficult to point to a specific moment as the moment he realizes he's attracted to lbh... because he never has a conscious realization, and he's in constant denial about it. all the way through to the last bingqiu extra, the wedding extra, he'll continue using the same narrative: the Protagonist is Beautiful and Irresistible, so what can sqq do but surrender to him? It's inevitable, really. (hahahaha he can't help but love and be attracted to lbh. it says more about him that he could ever verbalize)

so yeah, sqq really has the hots for lbh the man. but he'll NEVER admit it, he'll never had an Oh moment. Not even when he unconsciously called lbh "husband".

i want to make a clarification: for a character like sqq, who care about his pride and dignity way too much and has internalized homophobia and sexism to the detriment of his own peace of mind and fulfillment, admitting that he enjoys sex is way too shameful. he's never doing it. he mentions being "drunk with lust" in the showdown extra; in the deep dream extra he gets enthusiastic and proactive, initiating sex with lbh himself very smoothly; in the RoC,SoBQ extra he initially asks to do it doggy style and then changes his tune and wants to see lbh's face, DESPITE being embarrassed about it, and his desire is described as wanting the spot inside him to be rammed. all of this are subtle hints of how he really feels about sex, despite his inner struggles with his pride as a man.

another clarification: the way smut is written in western space is not the same as the way is written in chinese novels. for example, some chinese slang put the the top as the one "attacking", as if sex is a sort of fight. there's always this implication that the shou surrenders to the gong. there's a clear distinction of who tops and who bottoms and the roles of husband and wife made by this distinction; pleasure is described differently: phrases like "scalp going numb", "getting goosebumps" are not particular to svsss alone; the way the bodies engaged in the sex act are described, etc. (it IS a different language with a different culture) so it's normal that most of us come out of the extras thinking the smut is not enjoyable for readers or the characters themselves. what is the difference between the mdzs extras and the svsss extras? that wwx, being characterized as a "shameless" person, is very vocal about how he feels during sex. he has no shame around sex, unlike sqq, who is in the opposite side of the shame spectrum.

sqq is still struggling with that part of himself, and personally I think it's very understandable that even until the end of volume 4 he still has a difficult time with it; it's not easy shedding the believes one grows up with.

which bring me to,

he loves luo binghe the Man, "romantically"

—and it's a love that conflates his parental love, his attraction, too, but that starts to develop mostly post-holy mausoleum: it's when the hand-holding starts, somehow, though it develops fulling throughout the extras, when they finally become romantic partners and explore sex together. mxtx traces an arc that starts with the showdown extra, goes through the deep dream extra that has sqq telling lbh that "Tonight I feel like... I live you a great deal" and ends in the wedding extra with sqq calling lbh "husband" unprompted; despite previously agonizing about his loss of face and dignity and the humiliation of it, his actions speak louder than his words and inner thoughts. because of this, functionally, sqq can be read as a tsundere.

but aside from the sex, sqq enjoys domesticity and spending time with lbh; he likes teasing him, conversing with him and going out with him to see the world. post-main novel they're equals in their relationship and treat each other with respect and consideration, even if their shizun-disciple roleplay prevails. by romance definitions, I believe they mostly fit them, even if their relationship is unconventional.

as for when sqq fell in love with lbh? i still don't have a clear answer. he's always loved him; this love evolves through time, bringing him and lbh closer together. personally, i don't think it's not important. sqq loves lbh, and that's what matters.

[thegoldenavenger]

I wanted to draw art of this before vomiting words all over a post but!!! Undertale Binghe au

Just, Luo Binghe falling, not into the abyss, but into the underground. He's supposed to run into Shen Qingqiu, who guides him through the Ruins, tricking him the whole while. They are supposed to fight at the Ruins' exit, Shen Qingqiu snarling invective his way acting aloof and cold, at once prideful, arrogant, jealous, spiteful. Telling Luo Binghe that he can't make it out, that no one ever can especially not the likes of him. Luo Binghe is supposed to win, killing Shen Qingqiu before stepping outside the ruins door and leaving nothing (and no one) behind.

But instead, he meets a Shen Qingqiu who takes his tutorial duties very seriously! A Shen Qingqiu who sort of coddles Luo Binghe, and teaches him the puzzle mechanics of the underground, who has a small shimmering hope that he can just live with Luo Binghe here, in the cozy ruins of his home, reading and cooking together. This is definitely not how it happened before, even when Luo Binghe was new to this endless loop of nightmares.

But, whatever this new game, Luo Binghe finds the exit of the Ruins. And Shen Qingqiu fights him.

(The leitmotif here is Heartache, and oh! Shen Qingqiu's heart aches. How naive of him, to think he could sequester the protagonist in the small starter ruins. How short sighted of him to try and stifle the young hero... maybe next time...)

Luo Binghe wins, of course, but this time things are different. Maybe. He's been through this so many times it's hard to tell. But had Shen Qingqiu ever looked so sad beneath his aloof expression? Had his entreaties ever really meant anything? Why had he sounded just as trapped as Luo Binghe?

Luo Binghe finds himself with new, different memories as he walks out of the Ruins. They plague him as he makes his way through the next area. Each battle he encounters he remembers, "just stall for time and this master will be there to help." Each simpering fool that blocks his path he recalls, "just practice talking! Look, this teacher will go first."

He runs into Shang Qinghua, who cowers and runs from him. Mu Qingfang, who watches him with a cooly detached eye. Liu Qingge, who always strikes first and doesn't give in. Qi Qingqi, mocking him from her hiding places. Wei Qingwei is surprisingly easy to defeat after it all. And Yue Qingyuan, who looks straight through Luo Binghe no matter how many times Luo Binghe marches back through the gardens to him.

And all the while Shen Qingqiu's voice in his head: come! This master will guide you through these catacombs. Do not be afraid, my child. Which does Binghe prefer? Oh, but Binghe would not turn his nose up over one or the other? Truthfully, when this master first saw Binghe... it felt like seeing an old friend for the first time.

Prove yourself to me, that you are strong enough to survive!

All Luo Binghe has been doing is survive. The next time Yue Qingyuan strikes him down, Luo Binghe wonders if he, too, can do something different. Be something different.

Once again he awakes after the long fall in the bamboo grove at the beginning of the Ruins. Once again the Shen Qingqiu he meets is not the one he is used to.

(For his part, Shen Qingqiu isn't sure he really remembers anything from his first time around. But the very fact that vague familiarity keeps hitting him makes him suspect.)

Shen Qingqiu is still bafflingly kind to him. Taking his hand and leading him through the puzzles and traps. Stepping between him and any encounters might be troublesome. "Binghe prefers— oh, you never said... well. Binghe wouldn't turn his nose at either if he had a chance, would he?"

Luo Binghe stays, a little longer, in the ruins this time. He lets Shen Qingqiu coddle him. Brush his hair. Share tea and books and snacks with him.

But in the end, Luo Binghe has to leave the Ruins, and Shen Qingqiu has to fight.

And everytime, the Ruins is left without its Caretaker.

Luo Binghe keeps waking up in the bamboo grove, enough times he feels as if just underneath the ground is a pile of his own discarded bodies. Shen Qingqiu keeps showing up, and keeps smiling, and keeps leading him to his home.

The thing is, Luo Binghe thinks that this Shen Qingqiu would keep him, if Luo Binghe didn't have to leave the Ruins. This Shen Qingqiu would keep him in his slightly disheveled home, reading to him by the fireplace, and complimenting his cooking.

So, Luo Binghe tries. He tries to stay for as long as he can. When Shen Qingqiu takes him by the hand and leads him past the traps, says in his impossibly collected voice, "This master has always wanted to be a teacher... well, perhaps that isn't surprising." Luo Binghe tries smiling and says back, "Then this one will be grateful to learn from Shizun."

It is the first thing Luo Binghe has said, directly.

From then on, Luo Binghe talks through everything. He calls Shen Qingqiu Shizun, and asks questions about everything he feels he is allowed to, and, with this Shen Qingqiu, there doesn't seem to be a limit. He asks about the Ruins, the bamboo, the books in Shen Qingqiu's cabinet. He asks about the recipe cards on the kitchen counter. He asks about the boarded room down the hall. He asks about the journal with heavily red-lined corrections and critiques.

Shizun answers all his questions honestly, even if it is with a simple, "this master has forgotten."

They both want it to stay like this. But in the end, it cannot.

"Does Binghe not want to ask about the exit to the Ruins?" Shizun says one day.

Luo Binghe is, perhaps not quite as surprised as he should be. He always has to leave, after all. Still, he tries.

"This one doesn't need to."

"Hmm. I suppose you wouldn't."

Still, it happens. Binghe cannot find Shen Qingqiu anywhere, until he finds his Shizun at the exit of the Ruins. His face is cold. Aloof. Familiar.

"This master had thought to destroy the door," he says when Binghe approaches him. Luo Binghe cannot help the way his body tenses. He won't be trapped any more than he is forced to be by this hellish circumstance. As much as he wanted to play domestic with a Shen Qingqiu that seemed willing to indulge him, he liked knowing he could leave whenever he wanted.

"There's no need," Luo Binghe says.

"This master supposes not. What obstacle could stand in Luo Binghe's way if he wanted to leave? Hmm? What's that look for? Don't tell me Binghe doesn't want to leave?"

And the thing is, Luo Binghe does want to leave. He cannot stay in the Ruins forever. He has to leave the underground. But... "I don't want to fight you again." This is suddenly the most important thing. Luo Binghe does not want to fight Shen Qingqiu. Every time they fight, Luo Binghe wins, and that means killing Shen Qingqiu for the freedom to escape the Ruins.

He's done it more times than he can count, but this time it is too much, and, horrifyingly, he feels his heat spring behind his eyes.

"Oh," Shen Qingqiu says and he drops his fan.

The leimotif here is Heartache, and oh. Shen Qingqiu's heart aches.

"Then we won't fight. You don't have to prove anything to me. Luo Binghe is free to leave the Ruins he does not have to worry that this master will stop him."

"What?"

Shen Qingqiu reaches out to pat Luo Binghe's head, smoothes down his hair, and then hugs him. Luo Binghe stands, shocked.

"We don't have to fight?" He asks, again, just to be sure.

"Of course not. Does Binghe not listen when this Master speaks? Does Binghe only know how to fight with weapons instead of his words? Now, be good, when you leave."

Luo Binghe leaves the Ruins and Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe didn't have to fight to leave. Did he ever have to fight at all? Or, he supposes fighting may be inevitable. But the killing wasn't, surely. If the Shen Qingqiu that Luo Binghe had first met, cold and spiteful, could turn around and hold Binghe's face so gently, so too could Luo Binghe find his way through the underground with a little more mercy?

Luo Binghe actually tries talking, this go around. He had tried it the first couple of times he had been made to traverse the Underground as young and naive as he'd been. But there was only so many times one could bash their heads against the likes of Liu Qingge before one had to give in to the inevitable. But was it inevitable?

Shang Qinghua smiles at him when they meet the first time (this time). He still looks nervous, apprehensive, but not terrified as he always had been before.

Shang Qinghua loops him into conversation, gossips with him about some of the locals, tells him about a collectable he'd never found before. Shang Qinghua, the same rat who hisses at him in the hall before Yue Qingyuan's garden, that judges him like the cowardly hippocrit he is—Shang Qinghua invites him to dinner, and makes nervous jokes with him.

Shang Qinghua sits across from him and says, "there's this door, by the ruins, it's always shut. But sometimes, if I knock on it, someone answers. I read him some of my novel—no you can't see it—and he tears it to shreds. Says it's something to occupy his time but... it's the most time anyone spends on me, you know? Then he asks me—well, tells me, really—that if anyone comes through the door I should maybe watch out for them? But, I'm, haha, a coward, so I tell him to shove it. Whoever could make it through him certainly doesn't need my help out here. But I thought... anyone who's lonely enough to put up with me and my shitty writing well. They have a certain integrity. I don't really know what I'm saying but—I'm glad it's you, who came out."

Luo Binghe tries talking to Mu Qingfang who is curious and suspicious into turns, but ultimately subsides when Luo Binghe recalls one of Shen Qingqiu's rarer books so he can properly quizz Luo Binghe on his recollections of its contents.

Liu Qingge is the first person to really drive Luo Binghe's new conviction to the edge. The man doesn't let Luo Binghe get a word in before he's being engaged in battle.

Surprisingly, Mu Qingfang and Shang Qinghua seem keen on helping him navigate around their mercurial martial brother. Mu Qingfang offers Luo Binghe various healing items to recover from encounters and advice on how to avoid him. Shang Qinghua tries his hand at bumbling deception ("I told him what you were wearing the last time we met! You've changed by now, right? You're very smart of course you've disguised yourself!") and mediocre distraction.

Luo Binghe still thinks won't be able to get through without falling into the inevitable cycle of violence again. He tells Shang Qinghua "Shizun said I should just stall and he'd be there to help but! That's not how it works at all. Even if we didn't fight he's not here with me! I'm still alone. And Liu Qingge wont! Listen! To anything I have to say!"

Luo Binghe doesn't say that he's afraid he'll have to kill Liu Qingge, and he'll be able to justify everything else all at once again. That he'll go back and see Shen Qingqiu and he'll have to kill him, too. To complete it all. Luo Binghe is so busy brooding he doesn't see Shang Qinghua's considering eye.

"You didn't fight at all?"

And then, the next time Liu Qingge corners Luo Binghe and Luo Binghe just cannot figure out how to disengage without murdering the man, someone throws a fan into Liu Qingge's face.

"Hah?" Liu Qingge sputters and whirls around.

"What are you doing, harassing some kid?"

And Luo Binghe knows that voice it's—

"Shizun?"

"Shen Qingqiu?"

That's him... standing for the first time out of the Ruins, looking shockingly disgruntled. He makes his way to Binghe and reaches put to pet Binghe's head.

"What am I? What are you doing? Shen Qingqiu! You disappeared for years, Yue Qingyuan—"

Shen Qingqiu levels the bitchiest glare at Liu Qingge that the man actually shuts up mid sentence. Then he sniffs and turns back to Luo Binghe.

"Binghe did very good, distracting that man until this Master could arrive."

"You're—shizun is here?" Never once before had Shen Qingqiu left the Ruins.

Shen Qingqiu's gaze softens.

"This master told you that he would guide Binghe through the catacombs and help you navigate the puzzles and traps here in the underground, did he not?" At binghe's nod he continues, "Well, what kind of master would this one be if he left Binghe to figure this out on his own."

(Shang Qinghua had hammered on the Ruins' door hard enough to bloody his fist. "BRO! Bro? You didn't even fight? Bro, this Luo Binghe has no idea what to do with Liu Qingge. He's getting his ass kicked!" "What do you want me to do about it?" "Anything! Before he decides to go back to murdering his way through the underground!" "He what?" "I mean—hypothetically. He could start—whatever! You're the one who told him his shizun would come kiss everything better—take responsibility for my son!")

Liu Qingge backs off begrudgingly, as Shen Qingqiu shepherds Luo Binghe away from the fight to gather reconnaissance and allies. That is, to have a gossip session with Shang Qinghua and Mu Qingfang.

Shen Qingqiu sweet talks Mu Qingfang into giving Luo Binghe a special item and then briefly refreshes his memory by yelling at Shang Qinghua and then starts helping Luo Binghe speed run the rest of his journey underground.

It's a little anti climatic, actually.

Shen Qingqiu distracts Liu Qingge everytime the man pops in to harrass Binghe's forward movement, entangling the him in confusing conversation and beguiling gestures until Binghe has enough time to sneak away. Shen Qingqiu waits for the right moment before accusing Liu Qingge of not being able to befriend Luo Binghe, egging on his competitive spirit until Liu Qingge accidentally becomes fond of Luo Binghe for his own merits.

That accomplished, Shen Qingqiu takes Luo Binghe through the rest of the underground. He guides Binghe to hidden items and fun places Luo Binghe had never bothered with before. He cuts Qi Qingqi's encounter in half with Mu Qingfang's special item, and turns Wei Qingwei's usually disappointing battle into a fun game that rewards Luo Binghe with his own spirit sword.

Shen Qingqiu drags Luo Binghe across the underground, sometimes back tracking, making sure Binghe is exposed to every part while still plowing through encounters. Luo Binghe, for his part, grips onto his new sword and follows his Shizun with starry eyes.

He's never felt so refreshed, he's never seen this horrid place in this light before. The horrendous slog of fighting and dying has morphed into a dream like sequence of moments he's building in his heart. He never knew how funny Shang Qinghua is, how knowledgeable Mu Qingfang is. That Qi Qingqi was pretty amiable when one approached with the perfect balance of respect. That Zheng Yang fit so perfectly in Luo Binghe's hand.

He could probably leave the amount of times Liu Qingge drops in on them to get into an argument with Shen Qingqiu, but even then... Luo Binghe hadn't known Liu Qingge could talk that much.

Or that, on Liu Qingge, a sternly frowning face could mean care.

"Yue Qingyuan is strong so. Here." Liu Qingge drops a set of light armor at Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe's feet in a clatter.

"Oh, Temmie Armor?" Shen Qingqiu says, and helps Luo Binghe into it.

"Don't..." Liu Qingge crosses his arm and scowls at everything in his radius. "Don't die. And don't kill anyone."

He leaves before Shen Qingqiu or Luo Binghe can say anything in reply. Shizun looks at Luo Binghe wryly, his fan already spread out to hid me his face.

"Well. Are you ready, Binghe?" He asks.

Luo Binghe takes a moment to think about it. Everytime before his battles with Yue Qingyuan have ended in stalemates, or an abyss so never ending Luo Binghe had chosen to start over just the same.

But this time he isn't going with the intention of winning by force, and this time he isn't going alone.

Shen Qingqiu is standing by his side, waiting for his answer, and Luo Binghe knows if he says that he isn't ready yet Shen Qingqiu will find another little diversion to help distract them both until Luo Binghe is ready. Maybe it will be another dinner date with Shang Qinghua, bullying the man's latest manuscript. Or maybe it will be getting Liu Qingge to chase them through the glowing crystal-lit caverns once more.

Luo Binghe still must face Yue Qingyuan and find his way free of the Underground, but somewhere along the way his priorities have shifted. He isn't the only one trapped down here, and, even if he'd known this before it hadn't mattered. Now, he realises he could potentially help free more than just himself.

Now, when Luo Binghe frees himself from the underground, he doesn't want to be alone when he steps into the sunlight.

(Shen Qingqiu is definitely the kind of undertale fan who never played the games himself but did watch all the playthroughs he could. He only has a general concept of the no mercy route (mostly bc Shang qinghua is not Toby "Radiation" Fox so his version of undertale is not nearly as impactful so a lot of the content is hidden or was dropped before released but also a little because he couldn't stand the emotional ringer of watching a heartless lets player kill his favorite characters!) so he thinks Luo Binghe is a generally sweet if misguided kid and does NOT realize binghe has been on an infinite no mercy loop through the underground. He wouldn't care if he did know, though, because he's crazy for Luo Binghe. That's just the kind of thing one does in a time loop!

Liu Qingge is so startled by Shen Qingqiu because he is so different from the stories he's heard about him. He keeps hearing people talk about how Shen Qingqiu abandoned Yue Qingyuan, how cold and merciless he was after Yue Qingyuan lost the war against Tianlang-Jun. Liu Qingge, ever Yue Qingyuan's right hand man, had personally vowed to avenge Yue Qingyuan should the chance arise. It's definitely why Liu Qingge is so determined to kill Luo Binghe himself. Yue Qingyuan has had to reap all the demonic cultivation to free themselves from the underground all on his own. To shoulder that kind of task by himself and then be faced with a child—with a demon with the face of a child, at least... well, the least Liu Qingge can do is share in that miserable task. And then Luo Binghe is trying to talk instead of fight like a demon should, and then Shen Qingqiu shows up not at all like the rumors painted him to be. Liu Qingge is so confused.

Shang Qinghua is having the roughest time. He isn't immune to the reset mind-wipe, but as the game dev he absolutely knows what's going on just with context clues. So he's just trapped in this nightmare world watching as everyone he knows is murdered over and over until one reset his door buddy is nice to him and Luo Binghe isn't trying to kill him on sight! Shen Qingqiu, why does your system let you dodge multiple plot lines???

Luo Binghe does end up freeing the Underground, that's just not the focus of this story haha. Something something zuzhi-lang, something something Huan Hua Palace, something something Yue Qingyuan falling over himself at the sight of Shen Qingqiu who is definitely NOT privy to the original goods' backstory haha)

[tossawary]

I finished rereading SVSSS Volume 2 and was focusing more on the story this time, because I remember Volume 1 best, so I didn’t really stop to post about it. A random assortment of thoughts in no particular order:

Gongyi Xiao is the Bestest Boy. I remembered him being good, but reading it again was like, “Awwwww, buddy.” Poor guy. He deserved more!

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe are such a mess in this volume. It’s like two people trying to play chess against each other but they’re somehow using two different boards for it. No one wants to be playing this game! But everyone keeps insisting on it while crying and boards are getting flipped! (I guess in this metaphor, Zhuzhi-Lang is eating the pieces when no one is looking.)

The sower demons are genuinely creepy.

I want to call Luo Binghe’s invasion of Cang Qiong a clown show, but that would be an insult to clowns. Moshang have such limited appearances in the main story, but they are ridiculous.

Sha Hualing having a Bad Guy Lair is really funny. I forgot about that.

Over the course of this volume, Shen Yuan suggests that Liu Qingge is asexual and then suggests that Luo Binghe is asexual (before figuring out that Luo Binghe is into him). But he’s definitely an ordinary straight guy, for sure!

Every time Sha Hualing loses her top (which is... at least three times... I think?), Shen Yuan mentally censors her breasts. I didn’t forget this because I see people mention it periodically, but I forgot just how funny it is.

Shen Yuan scheming to get Liu Qingge to take on Yang Yixuan as a disciple was really cute, actually. He’s such a softie. He just wants to be nice!

When he’s talking about Liu Qingge’s lack of disciples at the very beginning of the volume, Shen Yuan describes how Bai Zhan works, and the phrasing kind of suggests that Bai Zhan changes peak lords every time that a Bai Zhan disciple bests their shizun. It does not work like this, but it would be kind of funny if the other peaks are strictly following some cycle to choose the next generation of peak lords and Bai Zhan is just switching peak lords whenever.

I don’t forget this trait because it’s one of my favorite things about him, but I’m always struck rereading by how quiet and thoughtful Luo Binghe can be. He gets extremely attached to Shen Qingqiu in Volume 1 and he’s dealing with severe mental and emotional instability throughout Volume 2, but Luo Binghe is often reserved or somber or even cold when not dealing with Shen Qingqiu.

Binghe really just took over Huan Hua Palace and says that the Old Palace Master has gone “traveling”. Yeah, he’s doing some wandering cultivation. It’s like a vacation. Don’t worry about it. :) The Little Palace Mistress is clearly becoming impatient with this excuse and I’m betting that the number of people at Huan Hua Palace who 100% believe the excuse is very, very low.

Shen Yuan returning in the plant body only to have to listen to how he’s become gossip fodder is funny. But Liu Mingyan going, “Ah, that’s how it is,” and then proceeding to write the Resentment of Chunshan is even funnier. Shen Yuan is in the middle of being kidnapped by Zhuzhi-Lang and suddenly has to listen to a song about him and Binghe fucking all the time. Zhuzhi-Lang desperately trying not to lose his shit laughing in the background is my favorite part of this scene. Shen Yuan’s horror at least works well as a distraction!

Also, I love that Shen Yuan went, “You have money? I want women,” and Zhuzhi-Lang just went with it. It’s so obviously an escape plan to the readers. Zhuzhi-Lang probably also suspects that something is up. He’s not an idiot. But maybe a part of him is accustomed to absurd demands from Tianlang-Jun and kind of views “Hey, let’s go check out what music the brothels are playing now!” as a normal desire for people to express?

It’s tempting to write fics in which Shen Yuan just gives the false jade pendant back immediately. Do I think it would automatically fix everything? Nope! But it sure would be fun to watch the characters spin.