#Seasonal produce shopping

[heal-well-blog]

Learn how to enjoy nutritious meals on a budget with these affordable healthy eating tips. Save money while maintaining a balanced diet for better health.

[iicarussea]

hello i am here for the hamlet. 1. do uou have a tag for that 2. is pix the guy who never leaves his house?

this just reminded me i havent thought abt the au in a while but yeah !! the tag is #emperor's hamlet au

and pix actually runs an antiques shop! he travels around and looks for old stuff to fix and resells it. technically he's the reason xornoth happens in the au, but its fwhip and sausage's fault that hes out in the first place (basically scott donated a bunch of stuff he had in storage to pix, then pix sold it to fwhip not knowing what it was)

scott is actually the guy who never leaves his house, since his brother went missing he didnt really go out much, so gem checks on him and brings him groceries n stuff bc theyre pretty close neighbors & friends

(sorry if none of this made sense this au is purely thoughts that float around in my head sometimes)

[oflgtfol]

watching art videos and recognizing michaels products counts as a mental illness i think

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

"this userbase is aging" good

[jones-erode]

Jones, a leading clothing manufacturer, crafts premium innerwear, t-shirts, shirts, and leisurewear for men, women, and kids with unmatched quality and style. for more details: jonesindia.in/

[these-are-the-first-steps]

Hey guys, I legit think you should all do a letter writing campaign and give netflix hell for this because it reeks of unsubstantiated tax write-off similar to what the WB has done recently and which has also earned them government officials riding their asses for fraud etc. Give Netflix hell, and also, as a tip from a Farscape fan, write to other networks you think would be a good home for Shadow and Bone and tell them you want to see them buy it and make more!!!!

I am dead serious, that is a real thing you can do and that has happened successfully in the past.

But it all depends on YOU, the FAN BASE! Organize on twitter and reddit and tumblr, and then tell the show's talent and writers and producers what you're doing so they can use the fan leverage to their advantage to try and save the show.

It's not impossible! And on a personal note I would strongly recommend HBO as a top contender to buy Shadow & Bone as they are not part of the AMPTP and work on different, separately negotiated contracts for scripted shows for the most part, and are therefore less likely to be tax-evasiony right now I think.

This is actually the most devastating news ever

[mr-jurnal]

How to Save Money on Groceries: 10 Tips That Will Help You Save Money on Your Weekly Grocery Bill. In a world where expenses seem to constantly rise, finding ways to save money becomes essential. One area where we can significantly cut down on costs is our weekly grocery bill. By adopting smart grocery shopping habits, you can enjoy delicious meals while also putting some extra dollars back into your wallet. In this article, we'll explore ten emotional and practical tips to help you save money on groceries without compromising on taste or quality.

[shithowdy]

the discussion surrounding generative images costing artists their jobs and being trained on stolen work is extremely important and worth having, but the reason i'm so zealous about pointing them out when i see them (and helping people learn to recognize them) is, once again, consumer and media literacy. ai generators have their arguable uses as tools for inspiration, but they are also tools for manipulation.

generative images, unlike a good photoshop, can be produced instantly with absolutely no skill required, which means that everything from online shopping to political propaganda is now inundated with convincing fakes. this could easily be you!

when doing your shopping this season, please pay close attention to products from unfamiliar sources like etsy shops.

does the product show multiple angles? (this is the most important thing for which you should look)

does the product have a lot of superfine details, yet no zoom on them?

do those details actually connect and make sense as shapes?

are things that should be symmetrical, such as chair legs or lamp bases, actually symmetrical?

does the light source make sense? (like this lamp example: why is the base not illuminated if the lamp is lit?)

if purchasing a print from an etsy (etc.) shop, is the style consistent or does the "artist" somehow seem to be an expert in every style and medium? (like, beware of shops like this one-- even without zooming and investigating, the inconsistent style is quite a red flag)

can you find an "original" of the image, like on an artist's social media, or does it seem to only exist in the context of the shop?

do the elements and details of the image easily distinguish themselves, or do parts of them merge weirdly together? (to use an example from the previously linked shop, check out the bottom of the coat on this image and how it fuses with the clothing beneath-- this is only the most immediate and obvious issue in the image)

REVERSE IMAGE SEARCH EVERYTHING.

my inbox is always open if you want help determining if something is fake. love you guys, protect your wallets.

[lowspoonsfood]

I'm a college student working several jobs & taking a class for summer. My cousin got me a slow cooker but aside from rice idk what to do with it. Recipes online require buying so many little things and I can't make it seem worth it. This is my first time grocery shopping on my own and I'm overwhelmed with how much it costs/is taking even when I just eat the same 2 foods (eggs for breakfast, burger for lunch and dinner) and easy microwave stuff over and over. The closest grocery store is also limited in ingredients. Easy slowcooker recipes that don't require me dropping a bunch of money would be so helpful <3

followers, any ideas for anon?

i would say there might be some variety or things you haven't tried yet if you check out the microwave tag and there is a small slow cooker selection as well. i know groceries are super hard right now and inflation is affecting everyone. i do want to say that it is always okay to go to your local food bank to supplement your pantry/fridge if you're struggling (yes, you are struggling enough if you have to ask am i struggling enough) - everyone deserves to eat! also, a lot of places have seasonal summer free produce programs right now. try googling (your county/town) free produce.

[mushroomates]

the fellowship grocery shopping (modern au!):

frodo: has a list which he always loses halfway through shopping. tries to bring his own bags but they’re never enough, or he forgets them in the car and realizes mid checkout. does not like a lot of the name brand foods, goes for the knock offs- partly because he thinks they taste better and partly because he’s rooting for the underdog. (also they’re cheaper which means more money go towards buying treats for the neighborhood cats.) makes an exception for name brand strawberry poptarts, a pippin favorite. keeps his fridge stocked with snacks for his friends.

sam: grows a lot of his own produce and makes an effort to shop local. has his own chickens and a thriving herb garden. he often trades with neighbors-tomatoes for honey, basil for goats milk, etc. once a month he teams up with boromir and goes to costco for insane amounts of flour (he bakes his own bread) and a foot long hotdog. sam refuses to get his own membership.

merry: has a list of things to get that he has worked very hard to compile. this list stays on fridge, and whenever he runs out of something he adds it. this is always sabotaged by pippin who, in a port attempt to mimic merry’s handwriting, adds a copious amount of sweets and things only pippin likes. ends up buying them anyways only to not share with him- will gloat by snacking in front of pippin and not offering any to his cousin.

pippin: does not actually grocery shop. yes, he has food in his house but this is more because he just tags along whenever someone else is going. selectively copies whatever they get into his own basket. has eight jars of peanut butter because he loves peanut butter but does not consume it at the rate he believes he does. also for backup, incase he runs out mid sandwich and needs eight jars of the stuff. loves to ride in the shopping carts when no one’s watching. definitely scooters along isles. loves to hijack boromir’s shopping trips as boromir is the only one who will push him in the cart and give him a lil treat at the end.

gandalf: kind of just. wanders around the store. gets lost in the bakery. buys the most random things, causing the clerks to conspire about what he’s doing with two packs of rubber gloves, a rosterseie chicken, and a tub of mayonnaise. is he a murderer? a professor? a single mother? what is he doing with this stuff?

aragorn: does a lot of trading with neighbors, like sam. likes to accompany arwen on errands and do the little things. she points at an item and he puts it in the basket. he bags at checkout. drives her home. unloads the car and put it away. real quality time and acts of service. yes, arwen is capable of doing these things herself, but he likes to do it for her: hunts so be always has a surplus of jerky, does need to buy more salt then the typical person.

boromir: also hunts. has a thing about using every part of the animal, will eat bone marrow straight out of the femur with a spoon for breakfast. eats a lot of protein. is real big about no food waste and will use everything he can. has his own compost bin and a humble herb garden. likes hosting barbecues for everyone, and makes the burgers and hotdogs from scratch. every other tuesday is grocery day. he goes to costco and buys his things in bulk. he’s the only one in the fellowship with a costco card and everyone loves to take advantage of it.

legolas: mainly just happens upon farmers markets and grabs what appeals to him in the moment. does not have any seasonings or cooking oil as it’s not something that’s ever really occurred to him to buy. will forget he has food in his fridge for weeks and when he finally does it’s gone bad. this, however, does not stop him from eating it. makes a lot of smoothies.

gimli: has a lot of preserved foods and a cupboard dedicated to emergencies. owns a lot of canned beans, fruits and vegetables- anything that will keep well. has a freezer filled with food in his garage with backup stock. is a very good with coupons- pippin likes going with him just to see the total (and the clerks jaw) drop. eats a lot of trail mix and jerky. enjoys fresh fruit when he can but doesn’t like to buy it because it doesn’t last.

gollum: sneaky little man. he hides in the bottom part of the carts meant for heavy items and parties his way across the store with his hands, scooting along tile and grabbing anything with reach, tossing it back up to the cart and continuing on his journey. then he just rolls right out the door. no one can stop him.

[saint-ambrosef]

newbie's guide to produce

for all my peers who were not taught how to shop for veggies and fruit on a budget and struggle to use them before they go bad:

(disclaimer: prices are approximate based on where i live in the Southern US. costs may be higher in your area, but the comparison of cost should still be valuable.)

cheap produce year-round:

roma tomatoes. if they look under-ripe you can leave them on the counter for a few days. keeps in fridge for about 2 weeks. $1/lb.

cucumbers. around here they're 50-60 cents each. go bad quickly though, about 1 week in fridge.

celery. two bucks for a head. starts to get sad after two weeks in fridge. only makes sense if you like to snack on celery or make soups often.

corn. whole ears are like 20cents each mid-summer, otherwise just get frozen. $1.50 for a lb.

peas. get these puppies frozen for $1.50/lb. good protein, too.

romaine lettuce. one head is good for several small salads, about $2 and lasts a week in fridge. the big boxes/multi-packs may seem like a better deal but not if it all goes bad before you can eat it.

onions. kind of a given but you can get regular yellow varietals for less than a buck per pound. will last for 1-2 months in pantry.

potatoes. you can get 5lb bags of russets for three bucks. sweet potatoes are a lil over $1/lb. last 2-3 months in pantry; if they grow sprouts, you can cut those off and still eat it.

bananas. dirt cheap. a small bunch (4-5) costs like a dollar. if they go over-ripe before you eat them all just get less or get a few green ones (p.s: you're allowed to break them off larger clumps).

radishes. $1.50 for a little bundle. greens get wilty after a week, roots will last 2 weeks (you can use both parts).

hot peppers. poblano, jalapeno, etc., are often quite cheap and you usually don't need very many anyways. few weeks fridge or counter.

cheap produce when in season:

summer squash. in summertime (duh), zucchini and yellow squash are like $1.25/lb. only last a week or so though in fridge.

winter squash. actually in season in fall, these are your butternuts and acorn squash. less than $1/lb then. lasts in pantry for months.

green beans. in warm months they can be on sale for $1.50/lb! last 1.5-2 weeks in fridge? (kinda depends on the shape they're in)

kale. it's a cool-season green that commonly is on sale in colder months. $1.60 for a big bunch, about 1.5 weeks in fridge before it gets seriously wilty. (can be eaten cooked or raw!)

apples. fall/winter, usually at least one variety on sale for $1.25/lb. last forever.

oranges. most citrus are winter fruits. $1/lb. will last forever in your fridge.

strawberries. spring. at their peak, i can find them for $2/lb. otherwise they are too expensive.

watermelon. $8 for big 10lb melons. they can take up a ton of space though and need to be refrigerated once cut/ripe.

cantaloupe. another summer star! $1.50 each on sale. they will slow ripen in the fridge but you do have to keep an eye on it.

pineapple. $1.50 in summer time. might be ripe even when still a bit green, ready when they smell noticeably ripe.

pears. fall season, sometimes into winter. $1.20/lb. last 1-2 weeks on the counter or forever in the fridge.

pomegranate. in winter time they can be found for $2 each. tricky to peel though.

peaches. and nectarines (which are just fuzzless peaches). $1.25/lb in summer and will last for weeks in your fridge.

eggplants. summertime veggie, you can get for $1.50 when they're on sale. otherwise a bit pricey. keep in fridge for 2 weeks.

mid-range produce:

cabbage. three bucks for a 2-lb head but you can get a lot out of it. will keep 3-4 weeks in the fridge but any exposed cut sides will start moldering after a week.

mushrooms. white button or baby bella. $1.50 for 8oz. keep in mind, mushrooms halve in size after cooking. ~2 weeks though.

avocados. if you live in the South like me, small hass varietals are 60-80 cents apiece in winter. ripe when it gives just a little to squeezing (you can't go off color alone).

broccoli. fresh is $1.70ish per head and lasts a week in fridge. frozen is $1.50/lb but might be kind of mushy.

most greens. spring mixes, spinach, arugula, etc can really vary in price but often fall into a few bucks at least per bundle/package. in a fridge's humidity drawer they last 1-2 weeks.

kiwis. i love them but they're a bit pricey for their size. 50 cents each. their keep depends on how ripe they are at purchase.

expensive produce:

asparagus. one of the most expensive veggies. sometimes in spring you can get it for $2/lb (a steal but still a bit much). lasts 1.5 weeks.

brussel sprouts. same as above.

red or yellow bell peppers. they are used sooo often in recipes and it annoys me. often $1.50-2.00 each. last a long time in fridge.

caluiflower. three bucks for a head. yikes!

green beans. when they're not in season, they are like $3/lb.

snap peas. same as above, except they never seem to be on sale.

raspberries. go bad in 3 days and cost an arm and a leg. sometimes when they're in season you can get them for like $2 per half-pint as a treat.

blueberries and blackberries. even when they're in season, they're still $2 per pint.

grapes. they can sorta be affordable in the fall season for $2/lb, but otherwise they're double that. and usually you have to commit to buying several pounds. last 2 weeks in fridge.

plums. i love them so so much but they're only in season for like 2 weeks of the year it seems and they're like $3/lb.

inexpensive accoutrements: (for garnishes, seasoning, etc)

limes. 25cents apiece. they'll start to dry out after 1 week on the counter so keep them in the fridge unless you will use it soon.

lemons. usually 50cents each for the small varietals. keep same as above.

green onions. less than a dollar for a bunch, and you can easily regrow a few times at home if you stick the white rooted end in water by a window.

cilantro. 50cents. will last WAY longer (1-2 weeks) if you keep it in a mug of water in the fridge.

parsley. 85cents. same as above.

obviously sticking just with popularly available produce across the country. it's not an exhaustive list but can give you a bit more perspective on what produce you should be focusing on if you're trying to work with a tight grocery budget. good luck!

[nenelonomh]

healthy eating as a student

!!never say that healthy eating is unachievable for students. this is a horrible mindset that will no doubt affirm the problem.

healthy eating is important for several reasons, especially to maintain high levels of energy, focus, and overall well-being. first, it supports physical health by providing sustained energy, boosting the immune system, and aiding in weight management. nutritious foods rich in vitamins and minerals strengthen the immune system, helping to fend off common illnesses. a balanced diet also ensures steady energy levels throughout the day, preventing the mid-afternoon crashes often caused by sugary snacks or processed foods.

academically, students who eat well are likely to see enhanced focus, better grades, and consistent energy levels. balanced meals supply a steady flow of glucose to the brain, which is essential for maintaining alertness and concentration during classes and study sessions. a nutritious diet supports cognitive processes, leading to improved academic performance and outcomes.

you cannot live off of two-minute noodles.

now, here are some hacks and strategies to make healthy eating more achievable:

planning and prep

meal planning: take some time each week to plan your meals. this helps you make thoughtful choices and avoid last-minute unhealthy options.

meal planning with roommates: if you live with roommates, organizing a meal plan together can be a fantastic way to share responsibilities and ensure everyone eats healthily. take turns cooking meals, or have a weekly cook-off where each person prepares a nutritious dish.

grocery list: make a list of healthy staples and stick to it when shopping. this can include fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats.

batch cooking: prepare meals in bulk on weekends or free days. store them in portioned containers for easy access throughout the week.

healthy snacks: keep healthy snacks like nuts, yogurt, fruit, or cut veggies on hand to avoid reaching for junk food.

budget-friendly options

buy in bulk: items like grains, beans, and frozen vegetables can be bought in bulk and stored for long periods.

seasonal produce: opt for fruits and vegetables that are in season as they are often cheaper and more nutritious.

generic brands: don't shy away from store-brand products; they are often cheaper and just as good in quality.

easy and quick meals

stir-fries: quick to make and customizable with any veggies and proteins you like.

salads: easy to prepare with fresh ingredients. you can add a variety of toppings like nuts, seeds, lean meats, and beans.

smoothies: blend fruits, vegetables, and a protein source like yogurt or milk for a quick and nutritious meal.

oatmeal: a great breakfast option that can be topped with fruits, nuts, and seeds.

pre-made healthy options: utilize pre-made healthy options like salad packs or pre-cut veggies to save time. these can be a lifesaver on busy days when you need a quick and nutritious meal.

utilizing campus resources

dining hall options: if you're looking for healthier options, check out your dining hall. many campuses offer salad bars, whole grain options, and lean proteins.

nutrition counseling: some universities offer nutrition counseling services that can help you develop a personalized eating plan.

i hope this was helpful, and that you take something away from the post! 🫶nene

[redfoxwritesstuff]

AN: I don't hate color. There's more than enough color here! I don't know why someone is spreading such hateful rumors!

Summary: You believed in treating yourself and what better time to treat yourself than the holiday season? Unfortunately, thanks to your packed schedule you didn't have a lot of time to do that. And when you do, you don't pay enough attention to which card you use to pay.

Vox is in for a rather exciting surprise in the company charge history

CW: Unconsentual voyogerism, sexy toys, anal plug

Seasons struggled to be much of a thing in hell, though they tried. It was often simply a case of hot versus hotter when it came to weather. Though there were extreme shifts that would linger for a few days to a few weeks, blanketing the city in thick layers of acidic snow. 

It was pretty enough when you were just looking at it from the window, sparkling in the dim red sun of hell. Each snowflake was perfectly shaped. It was so pretty when it fell, flakes dancing through the air. You would indulge in hours, sitting at your window with a book and a hot mug of tea, enjoying the snow falling. 

It was frankly terrible if you had to be out in it. The acidic snow slowly ate at the buildings, sidewalks, and roads. Anything caught up in it suffered from the acid slowly corroding through it. The longer it stuck around, the worse the damage to everything it touched was. 

You, like everyone else who could afford items made of acid resistant fabrics, were decked out in it as you scurried from building to building. No one wanted to be out in this stuff longer than they needed to be, even with the expensive resistant gear and that included you. If you were out in it long enough, the acid would still eat through the resistant fabrics. 

Your boss paid a lot of money to ensure the upper employees of VoxTek could have the ability to move about the city with class and dignity while the lowly sinners would run through the streets, screaming as the acid burned their feet and legs while they got where they were going. 

You didn’t need to be out right now, though, not really. The peace of a rare snowy day had you restless in a way your mug of tea or a good book couldn’t seem to battle. It brought an unusual peace that you were not used to dealing with. 

It was quite the trip across the city to make it to a store not owned by any of the Vees. At least, you were pretty sure this little sex store was outside of Valentino’s control. Stores outside of his control were few and far between, making it hard to ever really be sure. 

It lacked the purple and pink branding Valentino was so fond of. That had to be a good sign, right? It wasn’t like you could ask and expect an honest answer. Lies flowed like water in hell. 

Oh well.

Stepping inside, you took your time looking around after knocking the snow from your boots. The ground just inside the door was already showing the wear from melted acid snow eating into the tiles. It had only been on the ground for two days and yet by the time it was gone, the floors around the entry likely would need to be replaced.

Dildos, vibrators and plugs lined the back wall, all on proud display. The racks of clothing were stuffed full, making it difficult to flip through the options. Either they over ordered their inventory or the shop simply didn’t move product fast enough to keep up with the change in styles. 

It didn’t matter to you, even if Val owned this shop, it fell outside your scope of duties. You ran business reports on tech sales for Vox, not the sales of sex toys and porn for Valentino. 

Moaning filled the air as porn played on the large TV on the wall, advertising the movie choices similar to how your boss would advertise the movies and shows he produced on the large TVs in his electronic stores. It felt weirdly out of place and yet oh so fitting in the store. 

You were growing far too numb to casual pornography exposure. When was the last time you batted an eye when walking into a studio to deliver some message or file to Valentino on behalf of Vox?

You were so tired, worked to the bone as Vox prepared for the holiday season. It surprised you at first that Christmas was a thing in hell, but once you started working for Vox, it all made so much more sense. It was the same as it had been in life, a capitalistic mockery of what the holiday had once been. 

“I’ll just treat myself,” you whispered, being far too used to talking to yourself as you worked alone. 

You flipped through slinky outfits, bra and pantie sets as you waited for something to catch your eye. What you wanted was something bright and blue. Cyan, ideally, but you’d settle for teal. You were picky, but not too picky. 

You didn’t think you’d find anything. Your color preferences were so very bright for the citizens of hell. Finding so much to choose from made you giddy. Eagerly, you snagged a lacy robe and draped it over your arm. It was nearly totally lace, silky threads making the fabric soft rather than itchy. There was no part of your body that the garment would hide, nor would it do anything to keep you warm, but it would put you on display, and that was what you wanted. 

Not that you had anyone to display yourself for other than yourself. Your crush on your boss was disgustingly one sided. You knew he had his thing with Valentino and even if he liked women, and you were not so sure that he did, you couldn’t hold a candle to the towering porn moth. 

You had your fantasies, though, filed away for when you were off the clock, and that was good enough. It had to be good enough. It would be good enough. You would not fuck up your job and the security it provided by outing your little or not so little crush on Vox. 

What you would do was just buy yourself intimate items that would remind him of you from the other side of town. He would never know. It was as close to having your cake and eating it too as you could get. 

A bright blue push-up bra snagged your attention. It delighted you when you grabbed it, finding it to be in your size. It would surely place your tits on a shelf, making them look amazing. Along with it, you added a cheeky pair of panties. Thongs were so in style, but you loved the lace backing of the pair you grabbed, how it would hide none of your ass but draw attention to everything it pretended to cover. Rhinestones dotted the waistband, sure to glitter and catch the light through the robe. 

The lacy continued on the front, dipping down into the silk that would cover your pubic mound and extend between your legs, covering your core in a sharp V. It was like it was made with your employer in mind. 

Maybe it was. Vox was recently voted hell’s sexiest bachelor, though you doubted that if he hadn’t won honestly, he would have had you rig the results. 

With your clothing sorted for the evening, you set about looking at toys. 

You were far from a blushing virgin, but you didn’t have the largest collection either. If you were going to leave here with a whole outfit to remind you of Vox, one of many you had collected over the years but surely the most blatant one so far, you should go all out. 

Dildos of very shape and size lined the walls. Some thrust on their own, some squirted some simulation of jizz for the lonely sinner who couldn’t find someone to actually cum in thier holes. They came in all sorts of shapes too. 

The taboo of dildos outside of the human shape was long gone in hell. It was hard to give a shit about if a dick looked like that of a dog, a cat or something else when most of the citizens were far from humanoid in the rest of their bodies. 

It was just one more thing you simply had to get used to. 

“What would his look like?” Again, you were talking to yourself. 

You picked up different shapes and styles, each heavy in your hand. What caught your eye and stopped your breath was a thick, humanoid cock that would stretch you. Vox was tall and surely he would be gifted in size as well. He would have to be to be proportionate. 

It was meant to be; you decided as you ran your fingers over the veins. The plastic was dark blue and you couldn’t think past the way it reminded you of the color of Vox’s forearms when he’d shed his coat, rolling up his white sleeves and settling into a problem. 

As you made your way down the aisle, you intended to call it a day. The items in your arms would be far more than you had intended to spend, but a bright blue anal plug caught your attention. A pretty blue gem topped shiny silvery metal. It was impulsive as you grabbed it up, adding it to the stack of stuff you piled on the counter. 

“Please, hurry?” You asked the cashier after checking the time on your phone. You had a late meeting to sit in on with Vox. Thankfully, it was remote and you could attend from home, but Vox would know if you didn’t make it home in time. 

The clerk did everything but hurry. Each item was scanned at a relaxed pace as you stood, bouncing on your heels as you waited. It was amazing how long it could take to scan what amounted to a handful of items. 

“It’ll be $425,” the clerk said slowly. “And 37 cents.” 

You rushed, grabbing a card from your purse and shoving it into the hands of the clerk as soon as it was time to pay. The total didn’t really matter to you. Truth be told, you didn’t really hear to number. Everything was expensive in hell, but Vox compensated you well for your work.

You snatched up the receipt and the card, shoving them both into the bag before dashing outside. The slowly melting snow splashed under your boots, shooting burning drops of water up onto your legs. Though the pants you wore were resistant, that didn’t stop the fabric from smoking slightly as you rushed your way across the city. 

Vox leaned back in his chair as an unexpected notification ran across his screen. Someone used the company card at some slinky little sex store across the city. Digital eyes scanned the data, looking for the cardholder’s name so that he knew who it was he needed to kill for being so careless as to misuse company finds, only to find it was your card. 

You were never careless. At least, not typically. 

Vox delved deeper into the data, searching for who owned the unfamiliar store. It wasn’t one of Valentino’s, but that wouldn’t stop Vox from finding out what you had purchased. 

Sure, it was a little stalkery but really; you had spent his money. Technically, those items belonged to him. He purchased them. He deserved to know what it was he had purchased for you. The store’s systems took little effort at all to break into. 

In less than ten minutes, he was searching sales records for the order tied to you. 

“Ah,” His eyes flicked from one screen to another as the search pinged with a result. “Let’s see what we’ve got.” 

Vox had always been rather fond of you, growing more so as each year passed. You seemed to be unaffected by his flirting, attempts seeming to go right over your head. Though he had tried again and again to flag your attention, he never seemed to make any headway with you.

At least, that’s what Vox had thought. 

Now, as he sat as his eyes scanned the sales list, he wasn’t so sure about that. It was hard to deny what he saw. The grin on his screen spread greedily as he imagined you wearing the bra and panty set you had picked out. What a lovely color it would be on you! Would you drape the lacy robe over your shoulders, tie it together and pretend to be covered?

You were taking the meeting from home tonight. Would you be wearing your pretty little getup as you listened to his voice? Surely, you had been thinking of him while you shopped. There was no way you picked the colors out based on a sense of company loyalty. 

Vox hoped so. He had already decided he would take a peek at you through the webcam. What harm could it do? A little confirmation that they were for you and not some lover you had lined up. If you were into chicks only or had someone already, that would explain why you were not taking the bait on any of his advances. 

Before he did that, there was more to the list. Scrolling down, he found a sex toy he had forgotten Val had roped him into making. It was a replica, well nearly, of his own tool. The item was discontinued years ago and Vox hadn’t allowed his name to be used for the marketing directly, but it would seem there are some still on the shelves of the smaller stores. 

Along with the long forgotten replica of his cock, you had purchased a plug for your ass, topped with a pretty blue gem. Would you wear it while you worked? Vox hoped you would. He’d give anything to bend you over his desk and see that pretty little gem peeking out from under your skirt. 

“Fuck,” Vox groaned as he settled into his chair, letting the cables connect to the back of his screen.

On the other side of the internet connection, you walked through your apartment. In your panic, you had mis-recorded the time of the meeting and found yourself with two hours to spare. 

There wasn’t as much time as you wanted, but it was more than enough time. You made a point of rocking your hips as you walked up to the full-length mirror next to your desk. The robe hugged your curves, caressing your legs as you walked. 

The bra and panties were such a contrast with the bright blue robe. It made the items pop out from under the fabric. The dark blue heels you wore clicked against the wooden floors. 

You wished it was Vox you were walking up to. You wished it was Vox that would be taking your news purchases off your body. It wasn’t fair, but you would make do. There was no way you were going to present yourself to Vox, to ask him to notice you. He had Valentino and you would never hope to catch his eye over him. 

You ran your hands over your curves as you rocked your hips this way and that. You couldn’t have Vox, but you could pretend. Long step after long step took you to the bed. There was no audience, but that didn’t stop you from putting on a show as you wiggled out of the lacy panties. 

Crawling up onto the bed, you faced the mirror as you cupped your breast through the lace and cup of the bra. Spreading your legs, you moaned as the cold air washed over your wet folds. You grabbed the plug, small but no less intimidating to your inexperienced self, and ran the cold metal over your folds. 

You gathered slick on it, using it to smear slick down to your virginal asshole as you watched yourself in the mirror. 

On the other side of the internet connection, Vox watched with wide eyes as you gasped, head thrown back and breasts pushed out. The shiny silver point of the plug worked into your tight asshole as Vox’s pants grew painfully tight around his waist. 

“Oh,” you moaned, the laptop speaker just picking up the sound. “Fuck, Vox.” 

“Oh, shit.” Vox scrambled to work his pants open, eyes never leaving the screen as the plug sank deeper into your puckered asshole. “Oh, fuck. Oh, damn.” 

“I’ve never,” you gasped again as your asshole gave up the battle against the intrusion, spreading to swallow the plug and pull it deeper in one quick motion, “Fuck,” you cried out before continuing, “Done this before.” 

“Oh baby,” Vox cooed from his chair as he ripped the fly of his pants open and yanking his cock out. He pumped his fist around his shaft as he watched. “First time having something in that pretty little ass of yours? Let me show you how good it can be.” 

You pushed and pulled on the plug in your ass, letting your body stretch and adjust to the intrusion. Shudders ran through your body as it struggled with the unfamiliar feeling. 

That didn’t stop you from running your fingers over your clit, smearing slick around as you chased pleasure. Once your trembling stilled, you picked up the intimidating dildo. 

It had seemed reasonable in the store, but now that it was out of the package and in your hands, you knew it would be a task. The bubbling sound of air in the viscous liquid filled the room as you squeezed a generous glob onto the head of the artificial cock. 

The silky liquid was smoothe and cold as you used your hand to spread it over the soft plastic. You were determined to spread yourself over him tonight, before your meeting. 

You deserved this. You told yourself that over and over as you worked the large head into your tight opening. The shaft inched deeper and deeper as you pushed it unrelentingly inside. The thin wall separating it from the metal plug in your ass was pinched, not painfully so, but enough that you couldn’t hope to forget how full you were.

“Fuck, Vox.” It was cheesy, lame to moan the name of your crush while you fucked yourself decked out in his colors, using toys that reminded you of him on your body, but you didn’t care. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was going to ever find out, anyway. 

“Fuck me,” you moaned as the dildo reached as deep inside you as you could push.

“In a heartbeat,” Vox said, fist working along his length greedily. 

He zoomed in on the camera, using every bit of editing software he had to sharpen the image. His eyes ran over your body, taking in the way your cunt was spread over the poor replica of his cock. 

“You’re so big,” you moaned as you wiggled the base of the cock, rocking the length inside you. “Can’t fit it all.” 

“Don’t worry,” Vox’s hips twitched, humping up into his hand as he watched you pull the dark blue cock from your body just to shove it in again. “I’ll fuck you. I’ll make you take it all. You can do it,” 

His rhythm was growing slopping as he chased his orgasm. With what little processing power he could spare, he reached out to Papermint- not his ideal assistant, but fuck, he would not bother you right now. You were doing far more important things for him. 

He generated the email, marking it urgent and sent off his demand for the evening schedule to be cleared. You were lazy in your thrusts as he worked his fist faster and faster. His balls pulled up and as you moaned his name again. 

“Fuck, Doll,” Vox was thrusting into his fist now, hand hitting his pelvis in a bruising pace. “Babydoll keep saying my name, just like that, and I’ll-” 

“Vox,” you moaned as you thrust the dildo into you again and again, pace picking up. “Fuck, Vox.” 

Vox’s legs kicked out as he came, hot ropes of white cream shooting through the air as he twitched. The screens all went blue, except for the one feeding the video from your camera. His hand lazily stroked his cock as he waited for more of his systems to power back on. 

The blue screen that had replaced his face blinked once before Vox had regained his systems. He watched as you moved onto your knees, preparing to ride the dildo. 

“Don’t worry, Dollface.” Vox said, tucking his cock back into his pants. “I’ll be right over.” 

Join us at VoxTek for a Vox themed Hazbin Discord where we talk Vox, Hazbin, writing, reading, art and who knows what else. You may even catch some exclusive sneak peeks at upcoming fics from some of your favorite writers!

[peppertaemint]

Jikook & "Are You Sure?!" : The Beauty of Mundane

The much-maligned reality-TV format deserves most of the criticism and ire it provokes. Schlocky production values and pre-tense often lead to melodramatic fakery that people want to believe because they're bored. We've all succumbed to it; I've seen more than my fair share of Big Brother seasons. But the thing that reality can do, if it doesn't try too hard, is give us a window to life that sits between documentary and that unscripted faux-world, and I think Are You Sure?! makes a wonderful example.

The situations are both planned and imposed on this show, from Connecticut to Jeju to Sappparo. Jungkook and Jimin planned the trip along with producers and agreed to film it as content, a loathsome word if there ever was one. What we see is not genuine real-life, despite what Jimin states in Sapporo; it's a mediated view into the pair's life on camera together -- a life they seem to want to share together and with fans.

What makes AYS work so well is their naturalness on camera and together. I'm struck by how comfortable both facets of their lives seem after just over ten years of vlogging together under agency Big Hit.

We see how much they enjoy existing together, grappling with the highs and lows of the mundanity of travel. I say mundanity specifically because so much of travel is just that -- your life simply transported to a pretty view. It's still full of stomach aches and flus, good and bad food and wide-ranging moods. Seeing Jungkook patiently take care of Jimin, ensuring he took his medicine, and then creating a doltap, the traditional practice of rock stacking to ward off bad luck and bring in good energy, was a healthy glimpse into the everyday of their shared life.

The most telling part of the show is, rather ironically, the worst part -- the three-episode interlude with their unexpected guest in Jeju, Taehyung. Our duo made no bones about the fact that the guest invited himself to their trip -- their special time -- and took every possible opportunity to remind him of his status as unwanted guest.

The entire vibe of the show changed because of Taehyung's presence, and not just because JiKook were put out by the whole thing. His presence changed their dynamic toward one another as well, seemingly disrupting their status as a duo. It was as though there was a need to cater to the guest, to an extent, and to put aside their interest in one another to a marked degree. That in itself is incredibly telling for their relationship.

Luckily, the show bookended itself with JiKook solo trips, and it ended in Sapporo where the duo seemed to be most comfortable and in their element, embracing the romance and magic of the snow resort in Japan. This was a welcome contrast to the funny, fish-out-of-water vibe of NY and Connecticut.

What will stay with me is the joy in the mundanity that the two showed throughout the show, but especially when left alone. The fun of grocery shopping when you're with your person. The enjoyment of playing cards, cooking, or simply going to bed when you're with your person. It's easy to forget there is a team of people watching over them for the majority of the show, filming or simply observing. And I wonder if sometimes Jungkook and Jimin forget, too.

[jones-erode]

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[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 2

We interrupt your regularly schedule "Of Butterflies and Backstrokes" for another chapter of the nanny AU. I just need to cut down on the amount of backlog I have on this story and bolster OB&B while I work on the Halloween-esque metal band sequel "Around the World".

I am living for the responses to this fic. It makes my heart so happy!

In this we have a correct Robin, well... a mostly correct Robin and they all get to know each other a bit over dinner.

Part 1

~

Steve walked into his apartment feeling like he was walking on air. He never thought he would get his dream job, in his dream house, with his dream guy, who was gay. Like what did he do to warrant such a windfall?

The first thing he did was call Robin.

“Are you sure he isn’t some mass murderer?” Robin asked after he had explained the job. “Because that sounds too good to be true.”

“Well unless major rockstar and music producer, Eddie Munson is a mass murder,” he snarked back, “I high doubt I’m going to be murdered in my sleep.”

“You could be being catfished,” she warned. “He could only be pretending to be Eddie Munson just lure handsome young men to their deaths.”

Steve laughed. “Uh...no. The pictures online matched all the way to the cute dimpled smile he gets when he’s feeling super happy.”

“Ooh...” Robin teased. “Hot musician got it bad for the au pair boy.”

“No...” he whined. “He was looking at his daughters when he smiled like that. No dating the hot parents. That’s the number one rule. You know this.”

She burst out laughing, too. “For the married ones! But he’s single. It’s been a year since his very public break up with ex Ethan Giovanni. He’s trusting you with the two cutest girls ever. Like why not tap that?”

“Because I want to keep watching said little girls,” Steve huffed. “Plus he’s going on tour for three months in two days. Not going to happen.”

“Yeah,” Robin said. “For now.”

He told her about how they wanted to him to start that night and how this was the final test on whether or not he would be good fit.

“Knock ‘em dead, babe,” Robin said. “You’ve got this.”

~

Steve opted for a chicken lasagna with white sauce. He could sneak some vegetables in there and see if he could trick them into eating them.

He shredded the chicken and blended spinach and basil into the sauce. Added lots of shredded cheese as well as a well seasoned ricotta and popped in the oven.

While it was cooking he went up to the room that would be his if he got the job. It was large for some place where the help would be staying, but small in comparison to the girls room. Which they shared for now. Once they started school, Eddie said that they would be given their own rooms, but with them being so young it was good to keep them together.

Steve agreed.

He was close by, but he also had a baby monitor with camera that the app would be downloaded to his phone.

The house was well fitted with security measures that had only been tightened since the girls were born.

The room had that same Gothic, spooky feel, but wasn’t over the top with it. Instead of reds and blacks the room was dark browns and deep blues. Steve felt like he was floating on a ship on the high seas. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully.

He wondered if he could go a little harder on the nautical theme. There was an en suite bathroom that could also lean toward the nautical with its soft blues and teal color of the tiles and walls.

Eddie had given him a budget to decorate his rooms and now he was planning a shopping trip with Robin.

Steve knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he wanted the job so bad. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt him with it only to take it away.

He checked the timer on his phone and saw that it was almost time to check on the lasagna. He trotted back down the kitchen, again admiring the decor of the place. Everything felt antique but timeless at the same time.

He really did love it.

The kitchen was even stylishly antique in look and flavor, but all the appliances were state of the art. Only nothing was connected to the internet here. It was honestly freeing in that regard.

He hummed to himself as he pulled the dish out of the oven and set it on the stove top to let it firm up a bit before serving. He started to get down plates and cups for dinner. He quickly set the table for three adults and two children. Noting that one plate had a pink kangaroo and the other had a blue ballerina.

Steve correctly guessed which plate where as each girl came running up to the seats that they were sitting in for lunch and gasped in surprise that the right plate was in the right spot.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Joan cried. “He didn’t put my plate in Jannie’s spot!”

Eddie grinned down at his youngest. “So he did. Say thank you.” He turned to Janice, too. “You too, little miss.”

“Thank you, Stevie!” Joan and Janice said together.

Steve practically melted on the spot. He wanted to scoop them up and hold them forever. “I hope you’re all hungry, I made enough for an army.”

He set the dish on a couple of hotplates and everyone, yes even the girls, oohed and awed.

“This looks amazing, Steve,” Eddie said, positively salivating. “You didn’t have to go this far. Something simple would have been just fine.”

“Yeah, Steve,” Chrissy said, leaning forward to smell the lasagna. “I might have to haunt this place while Eddie’s gone if you’re going to cook like this, sweetie.”

Steve blushed as he dished out the lasagna, before serving himself a slice. He picked up his plate and silverware (which looked like actual antique silver, he was not looking foward to handwashing them later) to move to the kitchen.

Eddie looked up at him with his big puppy dog eyes. “Where are you going? You’re going to eat with us right?”

Steve looked around the table and no one said a word against it. “Oh. Um... I’ve never eaten with the whole family before. I eat with the kids when it’s just us, but usually when the parents are there, they want me to eat in the kitchen.”

“Sit.”

Steve set his stuff back on the table and next to Eddie. The only other open on the far end of the table. He dug into his lasagna.

“So you want to break down their evening routine for me?” Steve asked after his second or third bite.

“No business at the dinner table!” Joan cried, kicking her feet in protest.

“Yeaahhhh...” Janice chorused. “That’s the rule.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Eddie. Who coughed into his fist and looked more than a little sheepish. There was definitely a story there and judging from the sly grin Chrissy was giving him, Eddie was no doubt the reason for said rule.

Eddie cleared his throat and set down his fork. “I’m, was a music producer for a very prominent metal label and before that I was the lead singer of ‘Corroded Coffin’. One of the few and I mean very few valid points my ex had was that I wouldn’t be present at the dinner table.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.

“I would either be talking some band or another, messaging different people about the record I was working on or even just on the phone with former members of my band. So when I quit two years ago to try and save my marriage I still had people calling me and asking for my opinion, so the rule no business at the table was born.”

Steve smiled down at his plate. “No business at the dinner table then.” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “Would be asking you girls what you like business or just being friendly?”

Both girls looked at Eddie for guidance. “I leave it up to you, girls. I think it falls under being friendly.”

Joan cocked her head the side and instantly Steve was struck on how much like her dad she was. “I think it’s business,” she said with a pout. “Like in preschool.”

“I think it’s friendly,” Janice said, just to be contrary to her sister.

Chrissy and Eddie shared a knowing smirk and Steve realized this was a new thing and they might need those separate rooms sooner rather than later.

“How about we compromise,” Steve said gently. “I’ll tell you something about me, and if you want to you can share your favorite thing. Like if I said my favorite color was yellow, you could tell me what your favorite color is. But you don’t have to.”

“My favorite color is pink,” Janice said proudly. “Daddy says my room will be pink.”

Joan stuck her tongue out at her sister, because she knew she was had. “My favorite color is blue.”

“My favorite color is black,” Eddie said, joining in. “And red. Can’t forget red.”

Chrissy giggled. “Well, I guess if everyone else getting in on this, mine is green. I love that it’s the color of fresh cut grass, and spring, and how hot I look in it.”

Steve snorted as he was bringing his glass up to drink. Thankfully he wasn’t quite drinking when she said that. “Green’s a great color.”

Eddie and Chrissy shared another smirk.

“Ooh, I know why don’t we go around in circle,” Eddie suggested. “Like my favorite movie is ‘Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’.”

Steve smiled around his cup and then set it down. “I like that idea. My favorite movie is ‘The King’s Speech’. Colin Firth as King George VI and learning how to overcome his stutter? Amazing.”

Janice bounced up and down in her seat excitedly when she proudly cried, “Paddington Bear!”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yep, and now there always has to be marmalade in the house at all times.”

Steve chuckled. Poor Dad. “Have you seen the second one yet?” He knew there was a second one, but not when it came out.

Janice nodded fiercely. “Poor Paddington!”

“Barbie and 12 Dancing Princesses’!” Joan replied next. “There are so many pretty dresses in that one!”

“Ooh,” Steve cooed. “That’s a fun one. And there are so many Barbie movies to chose from, have you watched all of them yet?”

Joan nodded as Eddie shook his head sadly. “So, so, so many times. Same with both Paddington Bear movies. So have fun.” He flashed Steve a smile that was half between a grin and a grimace.

“Well I haven’t seen any of them yet,” Steve said with a wink a Janice. “You’ll have to show them to me tomorrow.”

“My current favorite is ‘The Quiet Place: Day One’,” Chrissy said. “Lupita Nyong’o is just too gorgeous for me to not watch every movie she’s in. I even watched Marvel movies for her and I’m a DC girlie all the way.”

They went around the table learning favorite books and other things about each other. Joan forced to participate so she wouldn’t be left out of the conversation. Then after they were all done. Steve cleaned up and put the leftovers into the fridge.

Then he watched as Eddie put his girls to bed. They got baths on Tuesdays and Saturdays unless they were super messy that day. They brushed their teeth to Daniel Tiger song and got into their pajamas.

Well...pajamas for Janice and a nightgown for Joan. Each one got a different story complete with all the different voices. He was assured he wouldn’t have to do the voices. That was only a Daddy thing.

Then the lights were turned off leaving the glow of the bumblebee nightlight to lighten the room and find its way into Steve’s heart.

~

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

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