#and replaced it with the fucking make market store brand version

[oflgtfol]

watching art videos and recognizing michaels products counts as a mental illness i think

[mushimatsu]

I found the full versions of the job apps from this post! This was a collab with the restaurant chain Sukiya, so that's where the job app is for! Pictures from this blog post here!

Translation under the cut

Osomatsu:

Academic background/work experience (include relevant experience):

(dates left blank) NEET, factory job, Chinese food restaurant, etc Anyway I have experience with a lotta stuff! And more

About yourself:

Gyuudon! I can eat a lot of it! Beer! (something crossed out) I can drink a lot of it! 

Hobbies/Skills:

Horse racing, pachinko, all kinds of gambling!

Reason for your application:

Because I think I could eat a lot of gyuudon. And because I think a pork bowl made with a brand new model of charcoal grill would be tasty! 

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (he left this blank and just put an x through Monday, Saturday, and Sunday)

Other requests:

I’d like to immediately take off days where a machine is being replaced, store remodeling days, and horse race days! 

What days would you prefer to work?: (left blank)

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank) How long can you work for?: (left blank)

Karamatsu:

(in the furigana section where you're supposed to write the pronunciation of your name he wrote it in English instead of hiragana)

Phone Number: Secret (it's so important to tell you that he wrote "secret" as the English word in katakana, and not the Japanese word for secret)

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Theater Completed curriculum at Hybrid Oden cart (Hybrid misspelled as Hybrit) And more

About yourself:

When I take the stage called Sukiya... After that... Who knows...

(sorry if this is incorrect idk how the fuck to translate what he said. hate his ass /j)

Hobbies/Skills:

I can sing while playing guitar, and more...

Reason for your application:

Gyuudon, butadon, curry... Because your menu calls to me...

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

I'm not tied down to anyone...

What days would you prefer to work?:

What a foolish question...

How many hours would you like to work a day?:

I'm not tied down to any time...

How long can you work for?:

How many times do I have to tell you...

Choromatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Totoko-chan's manager Worked at father's friend's company And more

About yourself:

Personally, I would benefit from your company's management policy, so I think I can achieve results while working remotely. The other day, all my brothers caught a cold, but I was busy making content as a small influencer!*

Hobbies/Skills:

Kanji certification level 6, English certification level 6. Thank you very much.

Reason for your application:

Sukiya would benefit from an entrepreneur and marketing and advertising specialist with a concise plan to make KPIs a priority activity. Boosting conversions** can create solutions for Sukiya through engagement. Gyuudon benefits will surely create profit. Assign buffers and launch. Thank you very much.* ** like click through rate

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

Frankly, a pension plan is a must, with a minimum of 200,000 yen fixed and committed per month. Thank you very much.

What days would you prefer to work?:

I will send you the agenda for today's activities afterwards. Thank you very much.

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank)

How long can you work for?: (left blank)

*(struggled so much with him and his business buzzwords if anyone has corrections please tell me)

Ichimatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Honored Squad Leader for Life at Factory Worked at Cat Cafe, as a cat And more

About yourself:

I want to gather some cats at the restaurant, but not like it would be a cat cafe, and make a "Cat Sukiya"...

Hobbies/Skills:

Cat certification level 2

Reason for your application:

I want to surround the restaurant with a lot of cats.

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

How many cats am I allowed to bring to the restaurant?

What days would you prefer to work?:

No particular preference

How many hours would you like to work a day?:

No particular preference

How long can you work for?:

As long as there's cats

Jyushimatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

PRACTICE SWINGS

About yourself:

78 METER THROW

Hobbies/Skills:

BASEBALL

Reason for your application:

I WANT TO EAT LOTS OF GYUUDON!

(All the questions about when you're available to work):

I WANT TO EAT GYUUDON EVERY DAY!!

Todomatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Currently attending a very prestigious college Part time job at a trendy coffee shop And more

About yourself:

My brothers are all stupid, so I'm the best choice <3

Hobbies/Skills:

English and Japanese certified

Reason for your application:

The new menu item avocado gyuudon is my favorite, so you're going to release it, right? That is to say, you'll hire me, right? Right? Thanks <3

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

Rather than just beer, I want to sell kalua milk and cassis orange too ⭐

What days would you prefer to work?: (left blank)

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank)

How long can you work for?:

Depends on if the customers are cute girls <3

thank you @totmatsu for ur help

[hoodiegal]

I fucking hate capitalism.

Part of the core idea of capitalism is that if a product is popular/profitable, you keep producing it, right? Improving on the formula if possible? Yeah that's just not how it works in practice.

I like a food item. I buy it frequently. The grocery store notices the product is popular. They develop a store-brand version of the item, since they have a better margin on store-brand items than third-party items. They replace the original item with the store-brand item. I can no longer buy the product I like.

I like a different food item. It frequently sells out faster than the store can restock it, due to supply chain issues. This makes people buy the item in bulk when it's available, exacerbating the problem of it often being out of stock. Store decides that it looks bad that their shelves are frequently empty, and stops trying to stock the item, instead replacing it with an item that is easier to restock/sells slower. I can no longer buy the product I like.

I like a piece of technology I own. I've had it for years and it's been great. It finally starts to give out after extended use. I want to buy another one like it. The item is no longer for sale. Every single product on the market that could replace it is missing one or more features that the original item had. Most of them are more expensive, despite offering less. I can no longer buy the product I like.

I like a piece of clothing I own. It's comfortable and of decent quality despite the low price it's being sold at. I buy another set of it now and then to slowly replace my old clothes. The store suddenly replaces the item, kind of. It's still available in the same spot in the store, with the same name, branding and price, but the item is noticably different. The cloth feels cheaper and the seams are scratchy in a way the original version wasn't. I buy a set regardless. They soon fall apart due to the low manufacturing quality, while the original ones I bought are still in tip-top shape. I can no longer buy the product I like.

[wemlygust]

I think Weird Al might not care, but his record label(s) most assuredly would. Unless he has his own that he is in control of at this point, but I don't think he does - it certainly doesn't seem like super famous musicians usually escape their record labels (likely in part because there are a lot of other people and a lot of additional work involved in making and selling an album - mixing, mastering, marketing, artwork, etc - beyond the initial music-making). But even so... this shouldn't be allowed to happen, I agree. If a track is in a movie, it should be considered a part of the movie, and whoever owns the rights to the movie should get to keep it there, even if they release it on a new medium, or at a different time, or if they remaster the movie. There're some sports and car video games, like Dirt 3, that used to be available for purchase but aren't anymore because their licenses (for the use of car brands, player names and likenesses, and similar) expired. While a song might be replaced, sacriligiously, with another easily enough if it doesn't pain you too much, it's harder to replace an entire roster of branded car models (which can involve trademarked details aside from appearance, like, even the engine noise they make, or details about the way they drive) or human player models with distinct faces. That's also a travesty. Dirt 3 exists. It was on the steam store. It's still in the steam libraries of everyone who bought it before it was taken off the digital storefronts. But now they hide it from everyone and don't let anyone else buy it and that is fucking disgusting. Piracy is wholly and entirely justified in all of these cases, in my opinion. But the fact that option is available to those who know how to access it doesn't help most people, who don't know how to do that, or are (quite reasonably) scared to, or who never get to find out a game exists at all, or who watch a movie and don't ever realize it's not actually the original version.

you know how you can go and watch a movie you watched a bunch as a kid and the version of a song in it is different? like they actually changed it since you were a kid? that isn't normal. we didn't do that until like, the last ten years. it's fucked up.

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor. 

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm. 

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle. 

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article.  It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it. 

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios. 

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film. 

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird  made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property. 

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother. 

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land. 

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself. 

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself. 

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms. 

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin. 

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him. 

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes. 

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together. 

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder. 

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics. 

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home. 

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out. 

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant. 

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.  

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t,  So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining. 

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s  mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here. 

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge. 

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go. 

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch. 

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work. 

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole.  The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out. 

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level. 

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as  barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington. 

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh. 

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film? 

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow. 

[winbutlerscowbell]

Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition

Welcome to the Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition, where I’m going to dissect, comment and give my constructive criticism at every reference, landscapes, locations and well, everything that goes Mexican in this movie of ours.

  First things first: I just realized the version delivered to the mexican theaters is DIFFERENT to the rest of the world, why? Because the characters who originally speak Spanish are DUBBED AGAIN, like double dubbed. So ironically, in Mexico we couldn’t get to hear precious things like “no mames”, WE WERE DAMN ROBBED.

OK HERE WE GO:

That bridge is sending me, it really looks like a bridge from here or vial distributor like they call it in a more elegant way.

No, forget it. That kind of bridge doesn’t exist here but nice try, I appreciate that.

Here’s where something really funny starts because what they say doesn’t match with the subtitles at all hahaha 

The girl says “no mames” and it’s subtitled to “Oh my God” AND it was dubbed as “No inventes” hahaha this can’t be...

And here, the guy says “yo siento lo mismo”, it’s subtitled as “I feel it too” which is accurate but when they dubbed it they went with “¿y esos ojos?” lmao

Can’t forget to mention this ICONIC scene, of course.

The moment when the cops arrive reminds me of the meme where there’s some thiefs robbing something and the cops are asleep but there’s someone naked or doing something else and a fucking troop arrives, here is one example of the meme I’m talking about:

kidnappers - cops asleep, thiefs - cops asleep,narcos - cops asleep,an old lady selling flowers - the fucking troops.

"¿Qué le pasó a tu amiga, wey?" the cop saying this hahahsha lmao like I said WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED.

The girl saying “qué pedo wey” when they’re arresting her hahah, I actually predicted at least one “que pedo” would be said in this movie and finally I can see my prediction turned out to be true #SamPatchVidente

The casa de papel guy aka the cop is going to be beaten the shit out for wanting to take Grace to the ministerio publico.

Cops getting beaten the shit out of them: oil on canvas 

And here’s the first mistake: the patrols have signs saying “policia municipal” and “cdmx” (Mexico City). In real life that’s impossible as “policia municipal” (municipal police) is one thing and “cdmx” is a totally different city, patrols can’t have both things but hey, the design is spot on.

"Eso estuvo padrísimo wey" hahsha lmao this time I prefer the dubbing where they go with “eso estuvo padrísimo, güera”, cause I like when they call Grace güera.

Never in my life I imagined I’d be alive to see this piece of art: Mackenzie with “Sí señor” playing in the background. The first time I saw this I was losing my shit even more cause Mackenzie was somewhere in the same room, probably watching the scene too. This is so powerful, wow.

This is sending me hashaha, in the dubbed versión the guy shouts at her “pinche gringa ratera” (fucking gringa thief or something) and it’s translated to “Go to hell lady” come on hahahaha so I prefer that over the original version, damn it I wish I could have a hybrid version of this cause is gold.

The heroic CDMX, fuck yessss! I would have loved to see the Popocatepetl. I’d like to think the suavicrema is in the background, so maybe is Chapultepec?. So what is a suavicrema? Could be like a brand of ice cream wafer and that tall building in the background looks like one, lol. Omg, ok I’ll stop.

Next: we can see doña pelos in here cooking her food. Doña pelos or doña lupe is how we call every lady who sells food in the street, so for practical effects this lady is doña pelos.

Here’s the proof we call them like that:

It translates: “So doña pelos is taking marketing courses” cause she’s using an Adobe logo to promote her food of the day, which is “adobo de cerdo” hahaha

Let’s move on.

No, it’s not “do you want your tamal”, it’s “tortita de tamal” aka the famous guajolota, that’s what she’s asking. A guajolota is “a sandwich composed of a tamal placed inside a bolillo or telera, which is a rounder version of a bolillo.” Yes, I got it from Wikipedia, don’t judge. 

Also, a lady selling garnachas (like quesadillas, etc.) AND tamales? That’s new.

She also sells mangos? Wowowowow that’s versatility. 

And “le robo un manguito” “can I steal a mango?” Dani, you have to pay for that, you can go to jail for like 30 years, I’m serious, remember the meme of the cops?

Someone said she may be a prostitute and I can’t even…so you can’t dress with whatever you want? But also I’m a little suspicious and she actually may be one depending on what zone is Dani supposed to live. 

A pink cab! I thought it was a Nissan Tsuru because they always are but this time it’s not. Missed opportunity, production design team. 

“Let’s put Frida Kahlo to emphasize this is Mexico, what a good idea , why not?” 

Multifamiliar o vecindad? we're about to find out.

Why does she have a bike hanging on the wall? Is that a thing? 

The fruit on the table, the vase, and the squared table cloth, that evoked things in me.

About the music: I mean, it’s okay they put latin music but I am fucking sick to death of this Bomba Estereo song, I fucking hate it. There, I said it.

147 likes, that’s how excited the guys who think they’re Dj’s or something are when they upload things to soundcloud. 

One thing I don’t understand is: if they live in Mexico City, why are they talking in english now? Did I miss something? 

Never seen anyone in my life name a dog “Taco”, only “Chilaquil” but that’s another story.

Arturitooo from la casa de papel! or how I like to call him: el cñor <3 (it means señor but with a c because it sounds the same).

Interestingly, now there are two actors from la casa de papel appearing here hahaha 

LMFAO that’s a flagrant fucking typo: “tomalito” hahshaha that’s an unforgivable mistake. It’s “tamalito” obviously. 

Now, what’s up with the serape blanket on the wall? Hahaha we call them sarapes but come on, we’re not like that…well yeah but no… It would have been funny if the serape had a drawing of the last dinner hahaha that would have triggered childhood memories.

The cñor from la casa de papel is going to the imss for his medical check up. Imss is a horrible public health institution but that’s what we have so…

Ok, this is GOLD: the serape blanket, a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, the couch covered with sheets and ANOTHER serape blanket, the sewing machine hahaha they missed the calendar from the fruit store or the butch shop, damn haha

Did taco survive? I guess not :(

Also when Diego sings: Y’all, you could have saved some good money by picking up another song, I mean, it’s a beautiful song by Juan Gabriel but I heard it was very expensive and now in retrospective you could have saved something in this little simple thing.

So it’s a vecindad I guess.

And how did they hang the clothes in the middle? :v Can these people fly? That would be a Mexican super power to take advantage of the maximum possible space. 

  Un viejo encueradooooo, tápese cochino.

A green bussssss!!! We call them microbuses and the location gives me historical downton vibes because of all the people in the street. 

Oopppp another pink cab, I love it. 

I am the only person on this planet who is excited to see those microbuses in this movie, yes I am. 

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE ROUTE OF THE MICROBUS SAYS! It says "LAGO DE GUADALUPE, E. ZAPATA" WHICH IS INCORRECT HAHAHAHA. Also, the man with the hat hahaha it’s Mexico City not Monterrey.

Lago de Guadalupe is not in Mexico City and “E. Zapata” maybe is the subway station but they’re absolutely not close to each other, well let’s move on. 

 The casa de papel guy aka Dani’s dad is speaking with a heavy spanish accent tbh

And... Goodbye Mr. casa de papel :(

They make it look as if everybody works there, it’s not a little town, you know?

Why the fuck is an employee riding a bike inside the factory? I don’t get it. 

When diego says "chale" hahaha same.

"Un robot, que chido eh" hahaha chido and it’s subtitled as "it's cool" adjka god help me please.

El señor Sánchez represents me.I mean, there was a little bit of criticism because all the mexicans represented here are white but hey, try looking for someone who looks like a mexican in damn Europe, they did the best they could.

Aaaagain: if they are in Mexico City, why the hell are they talking in english? I’ll never understand.

Typical police guy distracted with the damn phone, yes we are in Mexico.

That policeman looks like Burt Reylonds (?)

Wish Grace would’ve arrived in that microbus hahahaha

That microbus is weird, nope I don't know her. 

That microbus has the same route as the previous one but it has something else under “E. Zapata”, like “Tecnologico” or something like that, ooofff maybe it’s Tecnologico de Monterrey hahaha that college is kinda near Lago de Guadalupe so haha ok, let’s keep going. 

Another distracted cop, my Mexico.

I love how Grace beats cops everywhere, this is an irrelevant scene for this analysis but I just love it so much.

Back to the factory: "Qué hace aquí tu jefe?" jasjdd "que haces aquí, jefe", the slang is on point here haha

"Olvidaste tu comida mijo" jasdjkhd

"Me quieren reemplazar por esa pinche máquina" apparently translates to a "they’re replacing me with that damn machine" jaksdj at least put a “fucking” or something.

Again that heavy spanish accent with that deep voice, hmmm

I’m going to ignore the Factory fight because there’s no Mexican stuff here.

Well, Diego and Dani keep saying “vámonos” and they don’t fucking leave haha

“GET IN” and Dani saying "ya güera ya güera" jakdhakjd I love her

Pink cab is saved from being destroyed by Grace.

Here comes the policía municipal to spoil everything. 

Ok, my theory is they are in the limits of Mexico City and the metropolitan area aka the state which is also a kinda not very good looking place and omg hahaha I love that.

Here’s when Diego slips an almost inaudible “no mames”, I know I heard it.

And well, THANK YOU GOVERNOR OF MEXICO CITY BECAUSE THE PATROLS ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR AND THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE ANYMORE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING.

These are our patrols now:

Ugh.

Noooo the tacos :( this really hurt a lot.

This is where I think they enter a highway called “circuito exterior mexiquense” that effectively connects the metropolitan area of the state with Mexico City and I LOVE IT. I love everything, do I?

Also some say the Rev-9 is driving a snow plow truck, is it? The only time it has snowed in Mexico City was in 1967, a long time ago.

Everything is screaming “circuito exterior”, yes I’m getting those vibes and I’m here for it.

Another pink cab is seen. Fun fact: because of its pink and white colors, we call them “hello kittys” and before that they were like wine color and gold so we called them “iron man”.

“FASTER GO FASTER”  Grace: “shut the fuck up, dummy”  and giving looks that could kill.

Hahahaha those license plates are so damn old and they say “Chihuahua” and “Guanajuato” ahaha doesn’t make very much sense.

The car of my friend hahaha

The truck behaving like my friend’s car.

Here’s where as a mexican citizen who used to drive every day in that highway, I detected some continuity details in the pursuit scene: 

ROAD SIGN 1: Nextlalpan/Jaltenco haha on the opposite side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: Querétaro/Toluca/Tultitlán on the right side they’re driving

ROAD SIGN 1 again: first mistake fellas, now the sign is in the lane where they’re driving.

ROAD SIGN 3: Ecatepec/Texcoco, how do I know? I just do.

ROAD SIGN 4: This is my fave because in this one there's my shitty town hahaha SALIDA LECHERIA-TEXCOCO AV.JOSE LOPEZ PORTILLO Y COACALCO hahaha

It really looks like the circuit, I drive there a lot of times and Grace was there, destroying everything :')

ROAD SIGN 4: My fave sign now is on the opposite side, mistake number two.

Each and every one of the times I went to the theaters to watch this movie, in this scene everyone was like "ohhhh what? omg nooo" 

ROAD SIGN 4: Mistake number 3, the sign of Lecheria is shown again when the Grace truck had already passed there on the other side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: There's again the sign of Queretaro/ Toluca/Tultitlan when Grace's truck has already driven over there.

ROAD SIGN 5: Toluca/Lago de Guadalupe, remember? Lago de Guadalupe,  just like the microbus route sign.

ROAD SIGN 5: Just because I love to see Mackenzie with those signs in the background hahaha

Anyway, the circuito exterior mexiquense is a fucking mess and of course I love it.

Dani, I wouldn't go to the police either, they’re a bunch of useless idiots and I'm sure they would blame YOU for everything and get you into jail for 40 years.

Really bitch? RECETA MEDICA AJSDKASDK he's asking her for a prescription lmao her face I can’t...

Also I always wondered how Grace understood the pharmacy guy but now I know that in the version brought up here, this guy was dubbed to spanish while in the original version he spoke english, those little differences and  I’ll never understand why they did it.

Typical guy filming the mess hahaha 

"Qué pasa güera" traduced to "what the hell", nice (not actually)

That looks like a little town but God knows where is it, eww

Sure, we all have an uncle who is a coyote (no, not true). We call them polleros, not coyotes but whatever.

"Ojalá ustedes no fueran tan blancas" "I wish you two weren't so white" hasjdaj Love it.

So they're going to the famous BESTIA (beast), that's the nickname of the train because it's so huge.

I'm laughing hard because in some sites they called this scene "train station scene" hahaha this is everything but a train station haha ffs

Fun fact: I see that train everyday just without migrants, I think they ride the train in other certain places. This is a pic a took of the real bestia:

LOS HEROES TECAMAC JAJAJAJAJA lmao lmao I can't fucking believe it jasjdkaja the little shitty town close to mine LOVE IT

Ciudad Valles jaskdja

Ciudad Victoria.

China??? wtf now that's just random places.

EDIT: Someone replied to his post and told me it’s a place in Nuevo León and yes it is, CHINA, Nuevo León Mx. close to Ciudad Victoria AND LAREDO. And this means I don’t know my country enough. Gracias @vickysan24​

Is this supposed to be Guanajuato? when on earth they went to Guanajuato? I need to talk to Sonja Klaus asap

Mackenzie saying "hola" is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.

ahhh the food jasjdja has a lemon in it, I don't know, could be sincronizadas? hahahsha I think it’s eggs and beans with pico de gallo.

Mastering the skill of grabbing the tortilla like a spoon, nice. She has my seal of approval.

cartel de Sinaloa... really?! I really don't know what to think about this one...come the fuck on.

So that's how they cross huh, they keep putting walls but people always will find a way.

La migra got them:(

I’m going to do a big skip here. The border patrol and the detention center are next and key in the story but I don’t really know how can I bring something new in this analysis, maybe I’ll try later.

Next: When they find Carl.

For a looong time I really thought those beers were Corona and now it turns out they weren’t, sad day but oh well there are much better beers out there, so... *nail polish emoji*

Is that... MOLE DE LA COSTEÑA???? JAJAJSJAJD Did you think I wasn’t going to see that?! That’s a great product placement.

And another picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe.

I'm far from being an expert but i'm not sure if we drink beer like that, with the lemon in the bottle.

Another beer?  Yes, thank you.

Even Grace is not sure if beer is drank in that way.

But beer with lemon and salt is everything, I admit it.

Ok, fast forward, no mexican things until the very end;

"Mataste todo lo que quería cabron" jsadkhdjha what a delight! and it’s been translated to "you took everything I had, bastard" lmao yeah, right. Sounds better in spanish, obviously.

Yes people, only a mexican can throw herself to a Terminator and fight with it with her own bare hands.

And to finish this deep analysis, I want to point the great originality (sarcasm on) they had with some character names: Diego Boneta is Diego, Alicia Borrachero aka Carl’s “wife” is called Alicia and at some point the Rev-9 is called Gabriel, like hmm ok, I remember Diego Boneta’s character was rumored to be named Miguel but yeah it was just a rumor. Ohhh and the lady selling tamales her real life name is yes, you guessed it: Mona.

If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for getting this far, for taking your time and I hope this “little analysis” helped you to understand some things better about the movie that maybe you’ve missed in your viewings or to discover new things about Mexico. Did I miss something? Let me know what you think.

[obsidiancorner]

I have a question!!! How long have you been drawing and how long have you been doing digital art? Was it difficult to start with? I'm looking at learning to draw, but I'm not sure if I want to start traditional or if I want to get a tablet. TELL ME!!!

Hey there! Sorry this took me a full day to get to. I wanted to make sure I had time to properly search/attach links and whatnot. Then I had to contend with bath and bedtime for Kiddo. I literally started this post at 7pm... It’s now almost 11. 

I have been drawing in traditional mediums since I was a LITTLE kid. Really little. Before I was in Kindergarten. I broke away from it after I graduated high school but came back to it after I moved to Florida. Chibi Cullen was my first digital piece, though. So... technically since October of 2017. I got my tablet at Christmas 2017 and that is when I REALLY got into it.  

To answer what you should learn on: That’s largely a personal decision and not one I can really help you with outside of giving you some info and some links to help get you started. 

Bare bones basic info:

Traditional is cheaper but you can play and learn without restraint on digital. It’s just that the tablet is going to be a MUCH bigger deposit. To get started in traditional art supplies, you can get away with approximately $20. A tablet is going to run you at least $50, likely more. 

Keep in mind: expensive equipment does not a better artist make. A graphics tablet will not make drawing easier. Sure it has tools to help, like line stabilizers and such... but only practice will truly make you better. 

I expand on this stuff below but first, my opinion. 

My humble opinion: 

If you want to just dabble and see how you get on: go traditional. 

If you absolutely positively KNOW art is a skill you WANT to pursue no matter the degree of difficulty it is for you, that’s when you can begin to entertain the idea of a getting a tablet, but make sure you weigh everything out. 

I don’t want to see anyone shell out that kind of money and have it be used once. I cannot stress enough to make sure you know your heart before sinking in on an expensive piece of equipment like a graphics tablet. 

The rest is under the cut because this is a long post and I don’t want people to hate me. 

Digital 

If money isn’t an issue and you have a decent computer, you can consider going digital. 

 FireAlpaca, Krita, and MediBang are all free to download digital painting software. I, personally, have FireAlpaca and I love it. But I have also been toying around with trying Krita out. However, all of these programs are good enough that I don’t think you’d miss not having PaintTool SAI or Photoshop. 

I will sing the praises of my Huion graphic tablet until my dying day because it will honestly probably last me that long if I don’t upgrade to a more advanced one sometime down the line. 

Seriously. The one I have right now has already been dropped (because I’m clumsy as fuck), thrown (courtesy of a melting down kiddo), peed on and subsequently washed and sanitized (courtesy of an asshole cat), and stepped on (because my guy tripped over the asshole cat and knocked a whole bunch of shit off my desk in the process). The thing still works. They ARE built to last.  

The version I have is the H610 Pro which costs about $80.00. There is some hand/eye coordination that needs to be learned because you will be drawing on the tablet but the image will be on your screen. That can take some time to get acclimated to. 

My H610 is not the cheapest tablet they offer... I know that much but I haven’t really done a deep dive into Huion’s selection. But there are other types of tablets as well. Wacom, Yiynova, Lenovo, Microsoft, Apple, and Samsung all have tablets for artists. 

If you want to talk tablets with monitors that allow you to see what you are drawing where you are actually drawing, you’re gonna be looking at throwing down a hefty chunk of cheddar (a couple hundred at least). For Huion products, that’s the Kamvas series of tablets. 

I have had my tablet for 14 months already and I use it All. The. Time. I tell you that to tell you this: I have not yet replaced the nib on my pen and don’t anticipate having to change the nib for another year at MINIMUM. The tablet comes with four backup nibs. So, at almost daily use, you can easily get a decade worth of art out of the set they give you out the gate.

Traditional

To just do some light sketch stuff while you are getting used to drawing, it’s cheapest to just get some cheap mechanical pencils or drawing pencils and some simple printer paper. If you want a sketchbook, go cheap. 

Once you get into your groove and want to start branching out, by all means, buy more expensive supplies if that suits your fancy. But to just get started on basics: Go. Cheap!!! There is no reason to spend more than $20 (and that’s being exceptionally liberal) at Walmart or the local dollar store.  

I cannot stress enough that to just start out you don’t need pro quality anything. Crayola or RoseArt is what every. single. artist. started on because most of us started in school and just kept going from there. Those companies are still around because they are the building blocks every artist started on (at least in the USA... I don’t know about foreign markets). Guaranteed. 

I still, to this day, use Crayola colored pencils. Two reasons: 1. I’m incredibly cheap and, most importantly, 2. they work just fine. 

Conclusion (at last, amiright?) and Affirmation

I know I sold my Huion tablet pretty hard in the digital section but that’s ONLY because there is more information needed to make an informed decision (like sturdiness, brands, etc.). There is a lot less to discuss for basic supplies to just get started.  

I will suggest traditional more often than I will suggest spending boatloads of cash for a beginner.

The choice between digital and traditional largely boils down to two things:

Cost

Drive / ambition / want / dedication

For the average person/household, cost effectiveness is critical in this economy. Even if you know in your heart of hearts digital art is a skill set you want to achieve, if you can’t afford a tablet, go traditional at first and gradually save up for a tablet. If you aren’t sure you will like drawing enough to sink in AT LEAST $50- and that is a fairly low-balled price tag- go traditional. 

I will only ever recommend a tablet as a starting point to those who know with 100% certainty that drawing/digital painting is a hobby/skill they WANT to pursue. 

I know I cannot tell people what to do because, ultimately, the choice is theirs. All I can offer is my opinion and some words of wisdom and caution. 

I will say this, though:

Art is a skill, just as much as writing, sewing, knitting, and so on. ANYONE can learn this skill. Some advance faster than others due to natural aptitude but anyone can do it. You just have to dedicate time and patience to learning it. 

Every artist started with stick figures. ;)

Remember that. 

Every single one of us started by drawing stick figures. 

That’s not to say that’s where you will begin, but an affirmation that literally EVERYONE, including commissioned artists, starts in the same place. Stick figures in crayon when we were kids. We all evolved from there.   

Do NOT under ANY circumstances beat yourself up if you set out to draw a cat and it looks like Ditto with whiskers. (It’s happened to me. Literally that exact scenario. It’s okay to laugh. I sure did.) This is a Ditto, in case Pokemon isn’t your thing:

Keep at it and you will improve. I promise. Regardless of which way you go. Keep. At. It. and you will improve.

Drawing/painting is a constant evolution, regardless of medium, be it digital or a traditional one. Once you get the basics down, you begin to develop your own style. And even your own style changes as you progress. Look at mine. I’ve drawn two things for you. Hannah and Satinalia Cullen. Both mine but the styles are lightyears apart because I worked and evolved.

Studies in anatomy, color theory, light theory, and the like will be your best friends. Good reference photos will be your best friends. 

And always remember: art is 150% subjective. Look at Picasso and Jackson Pollock. They are nothing like Michelangelo, Da Vinci, or Georgia O’Keefe. All of it is art. 

Abstract, Renaissance, Nuveau, Deco, Modernism, Fauvism, Pointilism, Impressionism and the rest... All art. All very different styles. 

All. Are. Valid. 

All started with stick figures somewhere in their history. You gotta start somewhere but keep at it and you will succeed.

[ramenfallsbutnotudon]

I firmly believe integration was the worst thing to happen to the contemporary black community.

Let me explain.

I do not knock the Civil Rights Movement, The Black Panthers or any other solidarity movement for the socio-economic advancement of the Black communtiy. However, racism and white supremacy are ever evolving entities and our current system won in the 60s is no longer cutting it.

Most people nowadays are not about creating something and if they are it’s just too hard to compete with the “white” companies. It’s more of a “let me keep my head down, fake laugh and assimilate to do what I need to do to get this check” or it’s just about seeking white approval.

(Case and point, Kanye West after marrying into the Kardashian mess - dying for European acceptance of his existence & trash ass clothing line) 

It’s about not copyrighting our own culture and allowing it to be overrun and consumed. 

I’ll take two recent examples I can think of off the top of my head.

In the late 70s-80s Hip Hop was created in Brooklyn as a way to uplift and unite the black community. Today it is a misogynoir hell hole run by white jews. 

You have that Lil Dicky incident where Chris Brown gave him a seat at the table in that song and white girls are going around whining and crying about not being able to say nigga & going on racist rants. 

You turn on Hot 97 or Power 105.1 and you don’t hear black voices. You hear white jewish voices and misogynoir coons like Charlemagne tha God. Who’s self hatred is so strong he’s a completely different color than he was when he was working for Wendy Williams.

But he’s buried that part of himself.

You turn on Wendy’s show and you see no black people in the audience, but stuffy whites and her showing off the ‘diversity’ in her audience by shouting out whose from whatever bland european country. She talks about topics and no one is cheering or agreeing with her and she seems uncomfortable and wonders why her audience is so dead. It’s dead because those upper-crust white women didn’t support your black ass when you were on 107.5 talking shit and being messy. They didn’t support you when you got that show and the numbers were low.

The fucking fact that I just did a quick google search to make sure I had the timeline correct on Hip Hop, a photo of a white group popped up along side the search. I clicked on the article and it is completely unrelated to hip hop. Not one black person appeared. All of the black rappers are being replaced by watered down white versions.

I simply searched hip hop then and seen some great black rappers, and for some reason Eminem. Who talks about hating black women in his music but go off I guess...

Rock was created by a queer black women and we lost that. Jazz, blues, etc. 

in the LGBTQ community rights were won at Stonewall and other places by trans black women throwing rocks at cops. But who is the face of the community? A white man who happily accepts discrimination because he comes out on top on the backs of those men, women and others. 

Same thing with Shea Moisture’s ‘diversity’ campaign like white people don’t have every single hair product in the hair care aisle with the exception of two or three brands, depending on the store. But that wasn’t my second point.

Why does something unique to the Black community suddenly have to be everyones culture when it’s making money? When there is an ability to profit, without a doubt corporate entities always swoop in in their white capes to start the bastardization of said thing.

Or these fucking commercials with classic black songs like Biggie or others over food, or white soccer moms dancing in a fucking car to it. Like i’m sick of the fetisization of it all. I’m sick of kpop artists wanting to dance like niggas but when a black person comes to their country they wanna throw them out. They want to have shows about blackface. They want to hate the people whose culture they are profiting off of. And why? Someone gave them a seat at the table.

My second point is the recent controversy with ex (”dancer”) stripper sucking married men’s dicks for money and homes Kim Zolciak. 10 years ago Bravo was not looking for a white women for Real Housewives of Atlanta and Nene recommended her. Nene gave her a seat at the table and it resulted in her storming off the show calling the ladies niggers (those tapes are probably still floating around online) and Bravo gave her her own damn show, her own platform on the backs of these Black women.

Not one of the ladies have been a guest on her show. 

Then she comes back this season for the check, doing the absolute bare minimum, arguing with the ladies and showing up to the reunion barefoot with a solo cup and a cell phone out. Absolute disrespect. We have Sheree “sweetie’ Whitfield carrying black bones back to her cooning and fueling the unnecessary fire.  Then karma comes for her ass and she has the nerve to pull the ‘defenseless white women™’ card and cry to white jew Andy Cohen about how “five African American women attacked her” and how he didn’t help her out. Because the ladies were holding her accountable for her actions, she literally said that they owe the world an apology and that “racism wasn’t all that real”.

Stop giving them a seat at the table. They do not give a fuck about us. 

I know saying this does nothing, it is easier said than done. Decolonization and internalized racism is a lot of subconscious thoughts and behaviors to undo. Trying to establish a black-supported economy will be tough. Policing ourselves and getting rid of homelessness and hunger in our own communities will be tough. But it has to start somewhere. It has to be better than this. We have to be better than this. There has to be more than just waking up everyday to see the new hashtag, who died, and just shaking our heads and moving on.

When it becomes enough to see BlackLivesMatter demonized but the METOO Hollywood hashtag be uplifted, fundraised and elevated. 

Like c’mon ya’ll. Can we at least fucking try? We are not our grandparents and parents generation. Our world is changed. We have nothing. No job security, no housing market, crippling (student) loan debt. How much will be enough to change things?

[daniellehelenamusic]

30 Ways To Reduce Plastic Waste

There is a good chance that every item made of plastic that has ever been in your possession probably still exists. Some of that plastic may have been recycled once, and some of it may have been incinerated, but the majority of plastic ever created is still around. Want to know the industry that contributes to plastic waste the most? Packaging. Humans have been brainwashed in recent decades to be consumers, and with consumption comes packaging for those consumed goods. And now even the goods themselves are cheaper and more disposable…which is quite literally destroying the planet. 

I spent much of the last two years trying to figure out how to reduce my carbon footprint, and while a zero-waste lifestyle is ideal, I’ve learned it’s not always possible for the average person. However, I believe in baby steps, and a low waste lifestyle is absolutely achievable. Reducing waste involves making a few adjustments here and there, but it’s not entirely on consumers to do better. After all, we aren’t the ones creating the waste (we are just consuming it to eventually dispose of), but we can influence the culture by choosing to only support businesses and brands that are also committed to reducing their environmental impact.

So how can you do your part? Here’s my list of 30 tips for greening up your lifestyle:

The first place I tried to address in my life was the plastic in my shower. Let’s trade those plastic bottles for solid bars of soap, shampoo, and conditioner. There are plenty on the market these days, and if you don’t feel like searching, I got you covered—I make all three (link to my store). That drugstore plastic loofah can also be replaced by a Konjac sponge, a sea sponge, or a natural loofah for exfoliating.

Speaking of soap…my current apartment doesn’t have a dishwasher, so it inspired me to create a solid bar for washing my dishes that had more cleansing power than Castile soap. There are others on the market, but if you want to spread love my way, you can cop one here.

Let’s pop back in the bathroom for a sec…are you still using disposable plastic razors? You got better options, fam. I switched to a safety razor that will last a lifetime and my shaves have never been closer. I also love that the one I found came in plastic-free packaging with a pretty bamboo handle. You can find it here.

If you haven’t already, switch to a bamboo toothbrush! Dentists recommend that you toss them out after 3 months, so after saving a few for deep cleaning the nooks and crannies of sneakers and homes, these bad boys can be composted and returned to nature. And if you still have plastic ones at home, save those for cleaning—the goal is to reduce plastic waste, and not throw things out if they can still be useful in another capacity.

Whenever possible, avoid ordering delivery and food to go, and if you have time, pack your own lunch. I know take-out is convenient when you are starving and have to get back to your desk, but I am the queen of bringing my laptop to a restaurant. Dining in creates less plastic waste than ordering your meal to go, and your tip will support starving artists like me trying to pursue their passions outside of their restaurant gigs…shameless plug. You can also bring your own reusable take out container to pack your leftovers in. Many families with young children opt for take-out to save from embarrassment in the restaurant, but I shun this too. Getting small children accustomed to the dining experience is super important. Dining with my family at various restaurants across the globe is the experience I treasure most from my childhood. Food is love and should be shared at a table on real plates and not plastic containers. Opt for restaurants that source local ingredients and aim to be as carbon neutral as possible.

This one has been hard for me, but stop buying paper towels! Switch to cloth rags in the kitchen, and use old towels and stained t-shirts for cleaning. If you are like me and make soap, it’s hard to stop buying them completely for sanitary manufacturing reasons, but opt for recycled versions or towels made of bamboo. I’m only allowed to use my roll of paper towels when making products, and I have purchased 2 individual roles in the last 6 months—I’m proud of myself for this. Need a few cloth towels to make the transition easier? Try these…or these…or these…

I grew up seeing Scotch-Brite sponges in the kitchen, so when I went off on my own, that’s the brand of sponge I bought. Was it ideal for the environment? No. Now that I know better, I recommend bamboo scrubbers and biodegradable sponges sold in paper boxes (like these)

This overhaul of products has made me notice how few liquids are in my life, including liquid detergents. Liquid products require either plastic or glass packaging, while powdered laundry detergent is often sold in a box or tin can. Opt for the box or reusable tin can whenever possible. There are box and tin options for dishwashing detergents as well (for those of you with dishwashers).

Landfills are probably flooded with deodorant tubes…is it worth it? Not hardly. Stop wasting money on a product that is quietly toxic, and do what your ancestors did: rub a fucking lemon wedge on your pits when you sweat and continue with your day. If you insist on wasting your money on a natural deodorant (that will probably make you smell worse or cause a rash) make sure it comes in a biodegradable tube or metal tin. (I wrote about that once)

Toothpaste tubes are also ruining the world. Switch to toothpaste in a fully recyclable metal tube, or try a tooth powder or tabs sold in a reusable glass jar. You can also make your own with coconut oil, baking soda, and xylitol (but the xylitol I found came in a resealable plastic bag which possibly defeats the purpose unless you reuse it to store something else).

Death to lotion bottles with those pumps that will live forever, as small plastics don’t usually get recycled, and lotion bottles contain mostly water. I gave up water-based lotions when I started making my own products, and my skin thanks me. My lotion bar is my facial moisturizer and my body butter keeps me ash-free and glowing, and even with my obvious gray hairs, I still get carded. Opt for solid lotion bars in biodegradable containers and oil-based moisturizers sold in glass jars (and don’t worry, I got you covered)

We all get lazy at the grocery store and try to grab the fruits and vegetables that are pre-chopped and wrapped in plastic wrap or a plastic container, but DON’T DO THIS. Take the extra 5 minutes and chop your own shit. Buy your produce loose and wash it well. 

Bread. The best bread is homemade, but ain’t nobody got time for that…lol. Instead, I recommend buying bread from a bakery or the bakery section of your grocery store and choose the bread that comes in paper bags over the plastic-wrapped ones, and if you can cop a loaf package free, that’s even better (just bring your own bag or container for it).

I’m young and broke so Ikea, Target, and Wayfair are my go-to spots for inexpensive furniture but that shit does not last. If you are in a position to invest in long-lasting furniture, it is totally worth it in the long run. The goal is to buy high-quality things once to reduce your waste, and if you must buy things more than once, the original item is still in good enough condition to bring joy to someone else’s home rather than a landfill. The same goes for kitchen appliances—one with glass and metal parts will last you longer than an appliance made of mostly plastic. You might spend more upfront, but you will definitely save in the long run.

I know fast fashion is all the rage, but some of my favorite articles of clothing came from either a friend’s giveaway pile or a thrift store. If you must buy clothing or shoes brand new, I recommend investing in high-quality items designed to last a lifetime over an item that will fall apart after a few washes. And buying secondhand is a great way to reduce your waste. High-quality furniture is another great thing to cop secondhand or trade with friends. Facebook marketplace, Craigslist, and bulky pickup days in your neighborhood are great places to find used items. And don’t sleep on local thrift stores and antique shops.

One place I have struggled with getting rid of plastic is the refrigerator, but I recommend opting for condiments, spices, and sauces in glass jars whenever possible. Glass jars (unless they are broken) are almost always recycled, but if you don’t want to throw them out, they are great for storing leftovers or using as glassware. Some of my glasses once contained kimchi or Kalamata olives…and the water I drink from them is just as refreshing as the water I drink from store-bought glassware.

Freezer bags are great and all, but I found there are many reusable freezer bags on the market…cop these instead.

Waxed cloth wraps are an awesome alternative to plastic wrap for storing food. You can buy them or make your own using thin fabric you no longer care about and beeswax or soy wax. But I get it if you don’t feel like making them. I have the materials to make them, and I still bought a pack on Amazon. They are great and rinse clean with cold water. Try these…or these…

To my people with periods: 100% cotton pads and tampons are cute, but step it up a notch and switch to a menstrual cup or Thinx panties. I thought I was doing well by buying applicator free tampons back in the day, but they were all still individually wrapped in plastic…throw the whole tampon industry away. Also, the Diva cup changed my life and made vaginal orgasms magical (maybe I’ll write a post on that next). 

Disposable cotton pads for cleaning your face can also be replaced by reusable ones (found here). You can even store them in an upcycled glass jar from your fridge or pantry…mason jars are another good option.

My whole life I’ve been buying the floss in the little plastic containers but I recently came across this glass one and I’m never turning back (link it here)

This one is minor, but once your Q-tips run out, try switching to bamboo and cotton as opposed just cotton, or those garbage plastic and cotton ones. The brands using bamboo usually come in plastic-free packaging, and bamboo is more sustainable than cotton alone. Try these…

If you own your home or plan to live in your apartment for a while, I highly recommend installing a bidet to use less toilet paper, or opt for a toilet paper made of bamboo - my living status isn’t permanent, so I haven’t done this yet, but toilet paper brands that care about the environment are always better than ones that don’t. I also miss being able to thoroughly wash my ass after using the bathroom in India and I’m convinced all Americans have dirty assholes. Yea, I said it.

I don’t encourage Veganism because lamb, pig, and goat are my favorite meats, but moderation is better than overconsumption. Try not to consume large amounts of meat every day, and buy meat from your closest butcher before buying it in the meat fridge of the grocery store where it is usually wrapped in plastic. Normally when I go to meat markets, the meat is wrapped in butcher paper instead. Local butchers might even be okay with you bringing your own air-tight container…just ask.

Once you use up all of your Band-Aids that probably contain plastic, cop these…

Some commercial tea bags apparently contain micro-plastics that leach into your mug when combined with hot water according to this article from the Washington Post, so I recommend switching to loose leaf tea sold in either a metal tin or biodegradable bag (like mine) and brew it using a reusable tea strainer or eco friendly teapot…like these…

Busy schedules require caffeine, and sometimes we need to refuel on the go…I get it. I’m not a coffee snob and don’t mind room temp coffee so I gladly make it at home and toss mine in a mason jar on the way out the door, but for those of you grabbing deli coffee on your way to point B or C, I highly recommend you bring your own cup and lid. Many of the cheap, plastic disposable lids might leach carcinogens when they come in contact with hot liquids. For my fancier friends who frequent the nicer coffee establishments (which I sometimes do too), I’m sure the baristas don’t mind when you bring your own cup—and I hope it one day becomes the standard. Many of those same coffee shops sell reusable mugs, and if you don’t already have one, cop one! (Death to those NYC coffee cups that end up everywhere except the garbage can). AND CONFESSION: I have yet to try this at my favorite bubble tea spots, but I’m hoping they would be down to fill a mason jar for me…

And on the subject of bringing your own shit, cheers to everyone bringing their own bags to the grocery store…this is the standard in California, but NYC is a little behind the times. Have you also copped your own reusable produce bags? They are pretty dope and easy to wash. I copped some a year ago and they are still going strong. Just don’t forget to remind your cashier of the different tare weight.

This one is hard for those addicted to sugar, but STOP BUYING JUICE (and candy…and packaged snacks…but duh). It’s healthier to eat the fruit instead, and most juice comes in a plastic bottle. If you must buy liquids on the go, opt for substances in glass bottles and reuse them later to propagate plants — Tea Tonic bottles are actually perfect for this. You can also use the bottles for homemade salad dressings, infused bottles of vinegar or olive oil, or decoration.

Reusing and upcycling are great ways to reduce waste, but I also recommend buying things and substances that serve multiple purposes. Instead of buying a shower cleaner, a toilet cleaner, a floor cleaner, and a wood cleaner, just buy baking soda (paper box), vinegar (glass bottle), olive oil (glass bottle), coconut oil (glass bottle), and lemon (package free). These ingredients can be used to cook with, clean with, bathe with, and moisturize with, and in the end, you’ve saved a ton of money while reducing your consumption of plastic.

I could go on and name many other things to help promote a zero-waste lifestyle, but the truth is, even I struggle to practice what I preach. Living a low waste lifestyle requires a lot of planning ahead. Living in a big city without a car is hard, and you may not always have your reusable items on hand when you spontaneously stop by a grocery store or coffee shop.

Plastic has become a convenience for us, and it’s hard for many businesses to kick the convenient habit of packaging your goods to go in something cheap. Let’s try to make it easier for them by bringing our own packaging that won’t destroy the environment whenever possible. And this is not an overnight shift, I’ve literally been trying to do better for the last 2 years, and I still use disposable gloves when making soap and other natural products—I’m no saint.

I also can’t give up buying cheese or plastic bags of flash-frozen fish. But there are so many ways we can all reduce the problem, and the first step is acknowledging where we have gone wrong. When you know better, you do better…or at least you try. Cheers to trying…even if most of the low waste products on the market I’ve found are made in China and not locally…(like I said…lol…baby steps). 

I hope this list finds you well. It is shared with love, and may it inspire your low waste journey into the future. Many of the products I mentioned can be found on Amazon (and if you use the links provided, I may receive a small commission to help keep this site running). Click here to checkout all of my recommendations (and a few I didn’t mention).

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/02/17/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-21717/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 2/17/17

On the movie front I finally got around to watching Central Intelligence. I’ve been wanting to see it since it was in theaters, as I love Kevin Hart movies, but I didn’t get to see it until it hit HBO. And I’m glad I waited. In the film, Hart plays a middle-aged accountant whose best days were in high school, when he was the most popular kid in school. Meanwhile, The Rock was the fat kid that all the other kids made fun of. Hart’s life is thrown into high gear when The Rock comes back into his life and turns out to work for the CIA. Hart gets wrapped up in murder, intrigue, and secret files. Yeah…On paper, this probably sounded like a great idea. The trailers looked hilarious. Surprisingly co-written by actor Ike Barinholtz (MadTV, The Mindy Project), it’s got a great cast, but they’re not necessarily bringing their A game. It was kinda weird to see Hart essentially playing the straight man, while The Rock had this weird goofiness to him. I know he’s trying to make the audience wonder if he can be trusted or not, but I don’t feel he sells it well. I almost bought this on Black Friday, and I’m glad I put it back on the shelf, as I don’t need to see it again.

In movie news, it’s rumored that Mel Gibson is being courted to direct Suicide Squad 2. Now, this is pretty interesting. I mean, who better to direct a movie about deranged criminals than a deranged actor/director? Seriously, that dude couldn’t be poked with an 8 foot pole a year ago, but since Hacksaw Ridge, it’s like all has been forgiven. I mean, he told his girlfriend he hoped she was “raped by a pack of niggers”! And let’s not forget all the antisemitic stuff. Anyway, I guess everyone deserves a second chance or whatever, but I don’t even see why he’d take the job. Even with all the controversy, a comic book film seems…beneath him, even if it would be great PR to restore his image in the public eye.

In other controversial movie news, A Cure For Wellness took a page out of the “fake news” playbook for its marketing campaign. 20th Century Fox partnered with fake news sites to run false stories alongside ads for the movie. Considering how the concept of fake news is upsetting a lot of people on both sides of the political aisle lately, this was considered to be in poor taste. A Fox spokesperson tried to explain that the film is about a fake cure that actually makes people sicker, so they thought the campaign was fitting. Fox has since apologized for the move, but I’ll bet it’s not the last time someone does this.

In TV news, ABC announced that the next season of The Bachelorette would star Rachel Lindsay as the first Black Bachelorette. This is important for a few reasons. First off, ABC is essentially torpedoing the notion that the current season of The Bachelor even matters anymore. After all, Lindsay is still in the running as one of the remaining finalists of the current cycle of the show. By doing this, ABC is spoiling the fact that she doesn’t win, before the finale has even aired. I’ve never watched the show prior to this season (What? It’s on at the gym!), but I’ve read that this is a particularly disappointing season. The current Bachelor, Nick Viall, is pretty boring, and is also on his fourth go-round with the franchise, having previously been a contestant on seasons 10 and 11 of The Bachelorette, as well as season 3 of Bachelor In Paradise. I mean, if he hasn’t found love by now, then he’d might as well just pack it in! The odd part to me, though, is the choice of Lindsay. I mean, I’ve been watching TV for a LONG time, and it used to be that the most outlandish cast member is the one who gets the spin-off. This season, that honor goes to Corinne, a 24 year old businesswoman who has a nanny for HERSELF, and has repeatedly tried to fuck Nick into choosing her, only to be rebuffed every time. She’s always shocked that someone could reject someone as hot as she is, but that shock never stops her from trying again. If you want good television, you make Corinne the next Bachelorette. Plus, Lindsay isn’t even that interesting. In all the episodes I’ve seen, I can’t really understand why she’s still around unless the plan was always for her to be the next Bachelorette. I mean, after 33 cycles of all three shows combined, it’s time for some diversity, and it’ll definitely make things interesting – ESPECIALLY when they do the home visits. But right now, I’m just not seeing any reason for the choice of Lindsay other than the fact that she’s Black. And she’s not even the best Black chick they had this season. Nah, they sent those chicks home already.

There was an interesting interview over on TV Line with Arrow‘s co-showrunner Marc Guggenheim, where he basically revealed that those previously-announced DCTV contracts don’t really mean that much. If you remember, over the summer it was announced that Wentworth Miller, John Barrowman, and Katie Cassidy had signed DCTV exclusive deals, which would allow them to pop up in any of the Berlantiverse shows. While the details of the deal were unknown, it certainly seemed like they’d be doing more with them than they are. Sure, Miller has popped up as a hallucination on Legends, and Barrowman’s also on Legends, but Cassidy hasn’t really been used outside of Arrow this season (that I know of. I’m still behind on The Flash). When asked if Cassidy would be popping up before Arrow‘s season is over, Guggenheim replied:

“We have an idea for how to see [Katie] again, but we haven’t made a deal with her,” Guggenheim shared. “She’s not a series regular anymore, so we have to make a contract with her, and she’s got to be available. We haven’t had those conversations. But… we know exactly what we do want to do.

They have to make a contract with her? Then what was the point of last summer’s announcement? I realize it’s pilot season, so she’s got to look out for herself since she’s no longer a series regular, but the contract seemed to ensure she’d have work, and be available for it should it arise. It’s starting to be clear that these “exclusive” contracts are just as useless as comic exclusive contracts, which basically just mean you can’t work for Marvel if you’re working for DC and vice versa. You can still work for Image and nobody bats an eye.

In a surprising announcement, we’re getting a Love Actually sequel, but it’s not what you think it is. See, in the UK, they have this charity event called Red Nose Day, where they air a TV special to raise money for Comic Relief, which helps people in need in Africa and The UK. In its 30 year history, the event has raise over £1 billion. In the UK, Red Nose Day culminates in a telethon where all sorts of specials and reunions occur. The idea was brought to the US back in 2015, with Walgreens selling the red noses for charity. Well, this year, a bunch of members of the original cast of the film are getting back together for a 10-minute special that will show us where they all are today. Right now, the special is expected to include Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, Martine McCutcheon (YAY!), Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Rowan Atkinson (really? He wasn’t even that important), Andrew Lincoln, Lucia Moniz, Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Olivia Olson. It’ll be really interesting to see where these characters are, 14 years later. It’s a shame we’re only getting ten minutes, but I’ll take what I can get. The special will air March 24th in the UK and May 25th in America. Yup, two months later. So, look for it on YouTube March 25th.

Rejoice, fellow titty enthusiasts! After a year of trying to “go legit”, Playboy has announced that nudity is returning to its pages as of its next issue. The decision to remove nudity didn’t really help sales much, which was somewhat surprising to me. See, I figured the lack of nudity would mean you’d see it in grocery stores and pharmacies, right next to Maxim and GQ. But that never happened. I guess it’s because the Playboy brand is known for nudity, even when the magazine itself decides to eschew it. But you bushwackers are gonna be disappointed, as the returning nudity will only feature breasts and butts for the time being.

This week, I had the pleasure of joining my pal, Classick, on the newest episode of Classick Team-Up. We discussed 24 Legacy, Turkish Airlines, and Trump’s America. Trust me, it all makes sense. Anyway, if you’re looking for some podcastin’ fo’ yo’ ears, check check check it out!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Adele “robbed” Beyoncé of the Album of the Year Grammy at this year’s awards ceremony. Whatever…

Country newcomer Maren Morris pulled off a major upset by winning Best Country Solo Performance Grammy over established award darlings Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, and Miranda Lambert

With recent successful revivals of old shows, Fox is finally keen to revive sci fi cult fave Firefly – the only catch is that show creator Joss Whedon has to come back, and they figure he’s too busy right now. I hope he doesn’t call their bluff. That show bored the shit out of me.

Speaking of Fox, they blew my mind by renewing Lucifer this week for a 3rd season. I didn’t think it would make it through season 1!

ABC renewed their TGIT lineup comprised of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder for next season.

NBC renewed the wonderful Superstore for a 3rd season.

Cloverfield director Matt Reeves is in talks to replace Ben Affleck as director of The Batman. Meanwhile, the rumor is that Affleck is trying to walk away from the film completely.

Poor Alanis Morissette! I recently wrote about how her former manager stole around $5 million from her, and this week over $2 million in jewelry was stolen from her home.

In the Remakes Nobody Wanted department, Frank Grillo will star in an American version of modern-day action classic The Raid

In what I’ve heard was a dreadfully unfunny stand up special, Nick Cannon said that NBC was keeping him from being himself as host of America’s Got Talent. As a result, he’s said he’s leaving the show.

Man, before Sunday night we had no idea who or what “Gnarley Davidson” was. Now, I can’t understand how we ever lived without him. At the Grammys, Cee Lo Green debuted his new solid gold persona, bewildering millions. And the meme machine got crankin’. He was photoshopped into pictures of Donald Trump’s house.

He was photoshopped into pictures of the Power Rangers.

The best part, however, wasn’t even a meme, but actual video of his departure from the awards. After all, he didn’t win anything, so why stick around?

That, folks, is how a true West Week Ever recipient leaves an awards ceremony. So, it should go without saying at this point, but Cee Lo Green/Gnarly Davidson had the West Week Ever.

[massthetics-blog]

New Post has been published on MASSthetics

New Post has been published on http://massthetics.net/muscle-building-and-general-health/

Supplementation 101: Muscle Building and General Health

Supplementation 101: Muscle Building and General Health

  I have a serious love/hate relationship with supplements.

  I love…

What they can do for you when used in the right context…

The edge they can bring to your training, and thus your physique…

And I get a sick rush from the act of mixing up my intra-workout shake or taking my morning pile of pills (yes, a tried and true meathead)…

But I hate…

How shady and untrustworthy the supplement industry is…

The relentless promotion of products that are either A) utter trash or B) make wildly bold and unrealistic promises…

And I can’t stand the notion that a whack of supplements will somehow replace dialling in your nutrition, training your face off, and recovering like a boss…

That all being said, I’ve spent more dollars than I care to admit (I once spent $300 in one go on a literal pile of supplements that lasted less than a month, and did fuck all), spent hours digging through ingredient research and product reviews,

Hence the guide on muscle building and general health supplementation below.

I’ve laid it out in as easily digestible a format as I could.

Meaning, 3-5 bullets on each supplement that cover what it does, how it works, and why it’s important. I’ve also taken the liberty of including a general dose, and my favourite product for each supplement.

Dig in.

Muscle Building Supplements (intra workout support).

Few of what follows are supplements that you’ll see lining the shelves in supplement stores with the latest and greatest claims.

Claims such as…

“Increase anabolism by 400%”

“Build XX pounds of muscle in 8 weeks”

“Develop rock hard muscle tone”

While great for marketing and making sales, more often than not, the products hidden behind the fancy labelling fail to live up to their name.

Under-dosed, missing ingredients, wild claims, and the list goes on.

What you’ll find in the muscle building and general health supplements below are supplements that are backed with enough science to support their use, make no wild claims promising to turn you into Arnold or Frank Zane in 8 weeks, and will only work if you do.

That means you won’t find any over-hyped pre-workout, “incinerating” fat burners, or anything to skyrocket your metabolism.

If that’s what you’re looking for, you’re in the wrong place.

So let’s go.

BCAAs (branched chain amino acids)

BCAAs consist of the three main amino acids that are beneficial to your muscles, and cannot be synthesized in your body (Leucine, Isoleucine, Valine).

Leucine is the main trigger of muscle-protein synthesis (MPS), Isoleucine induces glucose uptake into your cells, Valine’s role in the trio is still up for debate.

If what you eat on a daily basis provides you with adequate dietary protein intake, you probably don’t need to supplement with BCAA’s while you train.

In my humble (and accurate) opinion, it’s cheap insurance against potential muscle wasting, may enhance recovery, and will ensure you’re hydrated while you train (at least if you get a good flavour).

In the interest of being totally transparent and to echo above, there’s a lot of literature that support supplementing either BCAAs or EAAs as redundant (provided you’re taking in adequate dietary protein). I personally like using them, but you’ll likely be just fine without.

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 10g

EAAs (essential amino acids)

Essential Amino Acids are simply a more powerful version of the BCAA’s above.

On top of Leucine, Isoleucine, and Valine, they also contain phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, methionine, lysine, and histidine.

All of these amino acids cannot be synthesized by your body, and must be obtained through your diet or supplementation.

Its largely for this reason that using an EAA supplement is more beneficial than BCAAs.

Similar to BCAAs, EAAs offer cheap insurance against potential muscle wasting and may help enhance recovery.

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 10g

Highly Branched Cyclic Dextrin (HBCD) / Coconut Water

In certain populations of lifters, there’s benefit to ingesting a bolus of carbs while you train.

Once more in my humbly accurate opinion, the rest of your training world needs to be on point, you need to be serious about building your physique, and most of all…your training intensity must warrant the inclusion of carbohydrates.

In its simplest explanation, HBCD is essentially powdered glucose broken down into it’s most readily digestible form.

This allows for you to take it in during training, have it sink right to the bottom of your stomach (with no gastric upset), and uptake into your blood to provide fuel for your session.

Coconut water is a suitable second option, and may even sit lighter in your stomach (it does for me).

Preferred source: True Nutrition / Blue Monkey

General dosage: 15-45g (depends on training intensity and the context of the rest of your diet)

Citrulline

Citrulline is used as a sports performance and cardiovascular health supplement.

Supplementing with Citrulline will also increase levels of arginine in your system (even more effective than supplementing with arginine itself).

Citrulline is typically included in pre or intra workout supplements as an aid to increase blood flow (aka: enhance the pump).

Some studies have pointed to citrulline helping to speed recovery, and buffer fatigue while training (this is likely due to enhanced blood flow).

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 6-8g (for sport and exercise performance)

Beta-Alanine

Beta-Alanine is a building block to carnosine, which helps to buffer acid in your muscles, thus leading to an increase in exercise performance that’s between 60-240 seconds.

Typically this will mean that you can knock out a few extra reps when working in the 8-15 rep range.

Beta-Alanine can also aid muscle gain (largely due to the ability to do more reps).

Note: you may feel a tingling sensation shortly after supplementation. Its completely harmless (and feels cool, if you ask me).

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 5g

Glutamine

Glutamine is frequently marketed as a muscle building amino acid, but alas, this isn’t the case.

However, it has been shown to prevent muscle wasting in both periods of disease/sickness, and prolonged, intense exercise (this is one reason I recommend it).

The main reason I use and recommend glutamine is for its effectiveness as an immune system and intestinal health compound.

One could argue that through glutamine improving gut health, thus enhancing digestion and nutrient absorption, that it indirectly leads to muscle growth, but that’s a long ways to go.

Either way, it’s affordable, and effective in 3 things (promoting immune health, gut health, prevent muscle wasting) that you should be attending to.

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 5-10g first thing in the morning, in your intra shake, and before bed.

Creatine

Creatine is far and gone the most heavily researched and proven supplement on the planet. Its dirt cheap and effective…take this.

The main benefits of creatine include being neuro-protective, improving cell membrane health, enhancing power output (sup, more reps and heavier loads), and aiding muscle growth.

Best of all, contrary to the smear campaigns and wives tales from years gone by, it won’t crystallize your kidneys, turn you into the hulk, or tear you apart from the inside out. I promise.

Preferred source: True Nutrition

General dosage: 5g per day.

Recovery game, son.

General health supplements.

If you’re torn or unsure of where to start investing into your supplementation, start with the general health. As I mentioned above, all the fancy muscle building supplements in the world will do fuck all for you if you don’t have your bases covered.

Take care of your diet and training intensity first. Then solidify your foundation with the general health supplements below, then attend to the muscle building ones. Trust me on that.

Greens

Its rare that anyone gets in enough greens these days, even the most die-hard of veg-heads.

Similar to taking in amino acids while training, a good greens powder will serve as insurance and fortification to your diet.

Most will also include an immunity boosting and/or free radical scavenging complex as well. It’s a win-win-win.

The ONLY issue…many taste like absolute dogshit.

Fortunately, my recommendation does not.

Preferred source: Grazed

General dosage: 1 level scoop.

Vitamin D

If you live near the equator, you can probably get away without supplementing Vitamin D. For the rest of you, add this into your mix.

Vitamin D is associated with improving cognition, immune health, bone health, and mood.

One study has pointed to consistent Vitamin D supplementation (over the course of year) elevating testosterone. This is a good thing.

Vitamin D plays a role in nearly 3000 gene expressions, and plays a major role in building muscle, and strength.

Again, Vitamin D is both affordable and effective. Meaning, you should be taking this.

Preferred source: True Nutrition / ATP Labs (I use both brands as ATP provides Vitamin K2 as well, then beef up my D dose by using the TN pills).

General dosage: 5000IUs per day.

Vitamin C

I don’t know about you, but I grew up with tabs of Vitamin C being served with breakfast. Momma Mullan hated when I’d get sick, hence the side of pills with my morning toast.

And she was onto something. Vitamin C is a potent antioxidant that does help to ward off the common cold.

Vitamin C is also neuro-protective, as well as offers some blood flow benefits.

Preferred source:

Preferred Source: AOR

General dosage: 2-3g per day.

Zinc

Like Vitamin C, zinc is a powerful antioxidant and immune-boosting mineral.

Zinc is most commonly used a supplement to reduce change of illness, as well as improve and maintain testosterone levels (hello, gains).

Similar to magnesium, zinc is lost in your sweat. So, if you’re training hard (I’m going to assume so, since you’re reading this), zinc supplementation is a must.

Preferred source: ATP Labs

General dosage: 25-45mg of elemental zinc per day. There are a few different forms of zinc, each with different elemental weights. However, most products will label the amount of elemental zinc, so you need not worry.

Magnesium

Second only to Vitamin D, Magnesium is one of the most common mineral deficiencies in developed countries. S

aid deficiency leads to elevated blood pressure and reduced insulin sensitivity. Neither of which are any good as far as your internal health and physique are concerned.

Magnesium is responsible for well over 300 enzymatic functions in your body, and is woefully devoid from our for sources these days.

On top of that, if you sweat, you’re sweating out magnesium which further depletes you of the almighty magnesium.

Preferred source: ATP Labs

General dosage: 200-400mg

Fish Oil

Neuro-protection, joint health, cardiovascular health, improvements to hair, skin, nails and eyesight, cognitive benefits…and the list goes on. Take the damn stuff.

I recommend a liquid form for ease of use (much more better than swallowing 5-6 large pills).

Liquid fish oils typically have stronger ratios of EPA:DHA as well.

Preferred source: ATP Labs

General dosage: 1TSP of liquid fish oil per day.

Digestive Enzymes

If you can’t break down and assimilate the food you’re eating, you’re going to create a whole host of issues that hold you back.

Including a well built digestive enzyme (make sure it has Ox Bile) with each meal will almost single-handedly alleviate any issues, and help your digestive system on point.

Preferred source: NOW Foods

General dosage: 1 enzyme per meal.

Just do it.

Of note.

I, nor MASSthetics, hold no responsibility for anything that comes from misuse or abuse of the supplements above. Despite the recommendations and dosages above being backed with #science, I suggest you do your due diligence before putting anything in your body (ha). Ye been warned.

Should you make the wise move to stock your shelves with anything from True Nutrition, use the discount code “AXM750“ at the checkout to save yourself some cash.

Later this week I’m going to do a shorter post on what exactly is in my supplement stack.

  And so it was.

PS. 4 out of 5 lifters will let their rationalization hamster run wild. Building no muscle, burning no fat. The 5th lifter joined the MASSthetics Clan and put the information within the (free) Hypertrophy Handbook to good use. Problem solved. Click here to become the 5th lifter, and let me know where to send the prestigious Hypertrophy Handbook.