#Screw it. If the world wants to see this post the world has to dig for it

[perereiii]

Someone pry him from my cold dead hands so I stop adding more and more details to my now not-so-brief “brief sketch”

[writeoffside]

SILENCE HAS OVERTAKEN

♯ harry styles x fem!reader - angst / sad

summary: Harry doesn’t trust himself by talking to you , he wants to keep you safe but it really isn’t helping any of you.

warnings: arguing, swearing, nightmares, kissing

info: english isn't my first language, i apologize in advance for all the mistakes (if there are any!)

a/n: first post on here, enjoy !!

The days had gone by since the last ‘i love you’ has been spoken between the two so-called lovers. The silence has taken over the sweet and loving house they used to call a home. It has no longer been a home. For neither one of them.

The uncomfortable silence during the dinners everynight was heavy. The only sound during this time could only be the knives and forks sounds scraping over the plates. Neither one of them even bothered to start a talk, not even a small one.

Everytime he finished his food, he would drop his cutlery on the side and leave the table without a word. Not even bothering to say a little ‘thank you’ for preparing the table, making the food or anything.

All the nights were terrible. Terrible couldn’t even be the word to describe how unpleasant the nights were. 

When he would leave the dining room, he would mostly go to his room or his studio and lock himself there. After locking himself away from everything, the uncomfortable silence would take over the house again. 

It was all just silence.

“Harry! C'mon! Are you fucking mental?” The screams echoed around the house. There was no more of silence. Only the sounds of screaming, yelling, swearing and throwing words around.

“Me? Fucking me? Y/n, you’re the one who started this shit!” I screamed loudly, hitting the top of the counter with my palm. Hissing the moment my hand met with the cold surface of the countertop. 

I had enough of this shit and all this arguing.

“Y/n! For fuck’s sake! You've been saying all this shit for so damn long! Don't you think that you’re the main problem there?” I yelled back at her, my last sentence echoing around the house. My eyes burning into hers as my knuckles turn white from gripping the side of the counter. 

“Fuck you, Harry! You've been locking yourself away from me for weeks now and when I wanna talk to you for a damn minute, you start all this!” She throws her hands in the air, pointing at me and her. 

Between us. 

I see a tear slip down her cheek and she quickly wipes it off with end of her sleeves. Her eyes are fully watery and her hands are shaking as she stands there in front of me. 

“Screw you, Y/n! Fuck you seriously! This is all your fault. If you wouldn’t be there, everything would have been fucking fine! Don't you see that you're the problem between us? Hell... I don’t know what else to say! Fucking hell!” I yell out. My hands are now digging into sides of my head as i close my eyes, my teeth biting into my lower lips as I manage to draw out blood—

I suddenly jolt awake. A gasp coming out of me. My hands gripping the sheets as I sit up, eyes flying open. 

Shaky breaths coming out as I try to catch my breath from the dream… No, a nightmare I've just had. 

Sweat drips down my naked back, as I sit and breathe. Closing my eyes and digging the palms into my eyes as I take deep breaths and try to stbilize myself. My heart beats quickly.

This isn’t the first night I've had this exact same nightmare. It has been happening for weeks now. 

And it's all my fault.

I push the sheets off my legs and stand up. My whole legs feel like they are about to break down just there. I cannot even stand straight.

The world is spinning around me as I try to stand. I breathe out as I collapse back onto the bed.

I sit at the edge of the bed, hands holding the sides as I lean myself over and close my eyes. I suck in a breath and let my eyes close for a brief moment. 

I sit still. The only sound I can overhear is my breathing and quiet ringing in my ears. 

My head feels like it will explode anytime soon.

“Fuckin’ hell…” I mumble under my breath as I once again try to stand up. My body swaying a bit, my feet waddling over the cold floor. My head spins when I reach towards the handle and pull it to open. 

Then I'm suddenly met with a person standing right in front of me. 

Their eyes wide opened as they stare back at me in shock. Their mouth drops a little when their eyes make a full eye contact with mine. My hands start to sweat as I hold the handle of the door. 

“Harry…” She mumbles out into the darkness of our house. The voice coming out soft and calming to my ears. She stands still and she doesn’t reach her hand to brush my cheek like she usually does, or doesn’t lean in to plant a little kiss against my cheek or right on my lips. She just stands still, her eyes deeply looking into mine. 

It feels like I've been staring into them for hours, falling into them. 

“Hey...” I whisper out, my voice coming out raspy. I lean myself against the doorframe, hand leaving the door handle and I cross my arms over each other against my chest. My legs still feeling wobbly and I feel like i'm about to break down just there and fall down right in front of her. But i stay still. 

“What... What are you doing here? It's late…” I mumble out, my eyes holding the eye contact, deeply staring into her orbs. 

We haven’t spoken for days now. I haven’t talked to her in multiple days in a row. I haven’t looked into her eyes. I did nothing. 

Absolutely nothing for her.

She shifts from one leg to other, clearly uncomfortable. My stare stays put on her as I await for her to answer. My eyelids feel heavy but I keep them up just to see her beautiful face. I wouldn't want to miss a second. 

I haven’t appreciate her in days. I haven't seen her, haven’t complimented her, haven’t kissed her… 

I've done nothing. 

“You've… Um... You've been doing something in your sleep," she says, her stare shifting away from mine. Turning her head to look into the hallway, ignoring my hard stare. 

She sways a bit, back and forth slowly.

“What?” I question her and shift a bit on my legs. Already slowly growing anxious over this conversation... I haven't spoken to her in weeks and this must be our first conversation in such a long time.. In middle of a night, her standing in her night pajamas and me leaning onto a doorframe with just a pajama pants. Sweat still dripping down my back from the usual nightmare.

“You've been screaming a lot in your sleep lately... Especially my name, Harry," she answers quietly , her voice so small that you couldn't even properly hear her if I wasn't that close to her. 

My stomach turns as she answers.

“Oh…” This was the answer she probably wasn’t expecting to hear. 

“Oh?” She repeats my answer and turns her head back towards to me. Her eyes coming back to mine as we stare at each other.

I missed the nights we used to sleep next to each other, when I could hug you, kiss you, tell you how much I love you. I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you in any possible way. I don’t want to continue our relationship like this. I want us back.

I wanted to say to her. Wanted her to hear how it’s tearing me by being like this. Away from everything. Away from her. 

“Harry," she whispers to me, tearing me away from my thoughts. She breathes out a small breath as I stare down at her. 

“I'm sorry..” My words come out in a broken whisper. A breeze runs down my back. The hairs on my neck and arms stand up. And then it comes.

I suddenly break down.

I take a step towards her smaller frame and push myself against her. My arms sneak around her body and pulling her against me. My face falls against her crook of her neck and I hunch myself, letting my body collapse. Taking her scent in. 

I tighten my hold against her body and hug her the way I never did. My face lays against her neck as I breathe out.

I feel her shoulders move and then i feel it. Her smaller hands on my back as she holds me back. Her head moves a bit and I can feel a small kiss being planted on top of my head. 

Tears run down my cheeks and sobs fill the silence in the house. My body aches and shakes against hers. My eyes are shut and tears run down like waterfalls. 

My legs feel like they’re about to break against the hard wooden floor and fall down with my whole body. Shaking as I stand against her and the silence is fully overtaken by my cries and sobs.

“Shhh... It's okay. Let it out," she mumbles against my hair. I start to shake my head, disagreeing quickly to her.

“No... No, Y/n. It's not okay.. I was, no, I am a fucking idiot! I'm- I'm sorry, okay? I wasn’t thinking. I don't know…” I stutter my words out, pulling my head away from the crook of her neck. My eyes running all over face.

“I was scared? I didn’t know what to do," I take a step away from her, my voice shaking as I spill my truth out to her, “I wasn’t thinking! I didn’t want to hurt you," i tell her with broken voice. 

“Hurt me? Harry, what do you mean?” She asks in her soft tone. Her sleepy but adorably beautiful and blown out eyes look straight into mine. Her eyes are searching for something in my eyes. She can see that I'm scared. 

She can see the fear in me.

“No, no, no…” I mumble out, my eyes shutting as I walk back into my room. My hands fly upwards to start gripping the side of my head, “You.. You don’t understand, Y/n. you won’t understand it," I cry out as I walk around my room stressfully.  

“Harry. I'll try to understand," she answers and walks towards me. Then she slowly and softly touches my cheek. Holding her palm against my cheek. Her eyes finding my teary ones.

“I just… Don't want you to get hurt because of me," I whisper to her, looking into her eyes. Finding the much needed comfort in them. My tears are stained on my cheeks and some are still trying to escape the hold of my eyes. 

“Harry... I want to help you. But, you need to explain to me what has been going on with you lately. You lock yourself away from everything and don’t even say a single word for days," she says, looking into my eyes and putting both of her palms against my cheeks. I lean into her touch, closing my eyes for few moments. 

I take a deep breathe and answer, “I know... I am just scared. I keep having this dream. Every damn night. And it scares me, fucking terrifies me," I open my eyes looking straight at her, “I don’t want to hurt you, or loose you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I feel so fucking bad for ignoring you, it has been tearing me," I breathe out, putting my hand over her hand on my cheek. 

My voices shakes through my answer. My vision is blurry from all the crying and I cannot form my sentences without stuttering or sobbing in between the words. All the fear is going on me as I talk more and tell her all the truth what has been holding me for past few weeks. 

“I snap a lot... in the dream. And I don’t want it to happen in reality as well. I snap and I say something that I would never say, never," I say, my voice shaking and my hands trembling, “sometimes I don’t wake up and it end up worse. I snap at you and I end up doing something what I would never plan on doing to you,” I whisper the last part, my eyes closing as my voice tremble. I tremble uncontrollably as I tell her the truth. 

“Harry... is that why you’ve been ignoring me?” She whispers, her eyes searching in mine as we stare into each others eyes deeply, "why didn't you tell me? I would try everything I could to help you, or at least try to help you," she moves her hand to my hair, gently holding me. My lips are slightly parted and I take deep steady breaths. 

My eyes close for a moment and I put my forehead against hers. Our breaths matching each others.

“I love you so so much, sweetheart," i whisper into the silence, “so fucking much,” the words spill themselves into the darkness of the room we’re standing in. 

“I love you too, Harry… so much.” she whispers back, “but you don’t have to be scared. you won’t hurt me, i know you too well..."

Then I feel it.

I feel her soft lips against mine. She kisses me against my lips for the first time in the weeks. Slowly leaning in, I kiss her back deeply. Showing her all the love i’ve been holding back. Her lips are like made for me. Our lips collide together as we quietly kiss in the darkness of the night. Her hands slide from my cheek to the nape of my neck and she pulls me closer.

“You don’t have to hide now, Harry. You wouldn’t hurt me. I'm here and always will be," she whispers to me. Her voice soft and quiet, like a dream.

“I'm so fucking sorry for locking myself away. For not being there for you... I'm so sorry. I love you so fucking much," I pull away slowly, my eyes fluttering open.

“Just... If you’re going through something… anytime, please tell me," her words get to me. 

“I will, I will... My love," I whisper to her. Tears, once again, forming in my eyes. 

The two lovers found themselves slowly rebuilding the connection between each other, what they both have thought that they've lost. The silence has been finally broken by the lover's confessions of his unspoken fears. 

my first writing on here! (don't ask me why my first ever writing was a sad one hahaha) hopefully you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it! :)

give it some love if u liked it !! yayyy

[scoonsalicious]

3.4 Major

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of Bucky's past, minor fluff.

Word Count: 482

Previously On...: Bucky and Lily went out to brunch, and Bucky lied about his upcoming plans with you.

A/N: I'm going to let you all know well in advance that, once I finish posting through Chapter 5, I am going to take a small break from updating so I can write (I'm thinking maybe a week, tops). I've had some things going on recently that have been taking up a lot of my mental and emotional energy, which has prevented me from being as invested in the story as I want to be, so I need to take some time to get myself in the right headspace to where the story just flows out. I'm currently only two chapters ahead, and that makes me nervous, so I would like to build my buffer back up again. So, there will be a pause in updates starting on Tuesday, May 14th, and updates will resume on Tuesday, May 21st. I do hate doing this, and I know that, as a reader, it's so annoying when you have to wait between updates, but it needs to be done in order to provide you with the best story possible. I probably should have taken more time between finishing Unwanted and beginning to post With Friends Like These..., but I was too eager to share it with all of you to wait, lol. I want to be upfront and honest with all of you ahead of time, so I hope you understand.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

You’d spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon digging up everything you could about Bucky’s trial. At first, you were getting nowhere, not being able to find any information about ‘Bucky Barnes,’ but then you nearly slapped yourself on the head when you recalled Lily referring to him as ‘Jamie.’ Obviously, ‘Bucky’ was a nickname, and once you searched ‘James Barnes + trial,” you were nearly overwhelmed by the number or results you got.

Meticulously, you went through them, as if you were gathering intelligence for a military op. You read all about his history in World War II with Steve (which, admittedly, you sort of already knew about from Nat), but things took a turn when you discovered he’d been declared MIA: Presumed Dead, only to resurface around 2014.

You nearly started crying when you read what had been done to him– the loss of his arm, the experiments, the serum, all under the control of the terrorist group, Hydra. The brainwashing. And you really did start to cry when you read about what Hydra had made him do for them. The assassinations, the murders. Screw whatever Zadie and Rand thought. This poor man was a victim. One who didn’t deserve to spend a moment behind bars. Your heart positively broke for him. 

You were wiping the tears from your eyes when Zadie popped her head in. “Hey, Major,” she said, a devilish smile on her face. “You got a delivery.”

You look back at her, puzzled. You weren’t expecting anything. Getting up from your chair, you made your way to the front reception area. There, on Zadie’s desk, was a beautiful gold bowl holding a live fuschia orchid plant. 

“There’s a note!” Zadie squealed, bouncing on her toes and wringing her hands together in excited anticipation.

Biting your lip, you reached over and picked up the note. Unfolding it, you tried to make out the messy scrawl:

‘Major,

Thanks for bringing some beauty into my life last night. Figure it’s only fair I return the favor. Looking forward to seeing you tonight for dinner. - Bucky’

“Oh. My. God.” Zadie picked up a piece of paper from her desk and began fanning herself. “I don’t care how many people that guy murdered,” she said. “That’s the most romantic fucking thing I’ve ever seen!” She paused. “How did he even know orchids are your favorite?”

“I don’t know,” you said, gently running your finger along the edges of the soft petals. “I guess I’ll have to ask him tonight.” You looked back at the note, rereading it, and smiling. You felt your stomach fill up with butterflies, as though you were a sixteen year old girl again, getting flowers from a boy for the very first time. God, but this man seemed absolutely perfect. 

But you were never this lucky. You couldn’t help but wonder when the other shoe would drop.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[i-heart-hxh]

I love you meta posts! I've been curious to here other peoples opinions on whether or not Killua every truly believed that Kite was alive. Part of me believes he just went along with Gon not wanting to admit it to himself.

Thank you so much, and this is a great topic to dig into!

To truly understand the answer, we need to back up a bit.

When Pitou appears in front of Gon, Killua, and Kite, Killua knocks Gon out and flees at Kite's urging, as well as out of his own terror. However, almost as soon as Killua flees, he realizes they screwed up by coming along with Kite to NGL in spite of the warnings they received:

After he flees, Killua encounters Knov and Morel (along with Netero), fellow Hunters who he can tell are very strong. He's mocked and insulted for his decision to flee and told he's a failure.

Killua is aware of his own tendency to flee when faced with an opponent beyond his ability to handle. He isn't aware of the needle at this point, however, so he likely interprets this tendency as simply his own personal failing--something that makes him unworthy of someone like Gon, who pushes onward no matter what obstacles are in his path.

He must have been worried about what Gon would say when he woke up--after all, Kite is Gon's mentor and someone who means a lot to Gon. Killua was beating himself up for what happened, both their decision to go along with Kite and his decision on both of their behalf to flee. I believe Killua thought Kite was dead at that point. It's a reasonable expectation because he saw Kite lose his arm, and he was overpowered by the sense of how strong Pitou was.

And then Gon wakes up, and rather than criticizing or being upset with Killua, he thanks Killua for making the decision to flee and expresses this very naive but overpowering optimism that "Kite is alive!" and they just have to go back and save him.

Killua is not naive like Gon is. He's someone who strategizes based off the reality of a situation rather than hope and belief that things will work out, and it makes him someone who flees when he feels he can't win (in his view, of course the needle is a big part of this). He doesn't see himself as able to become someone like Gon, who can force reality to his own will even when the odds seem insurmountable.

But here, he lets himself believe in Gon's words in spite of everything. Because he wants to believe that Gon is right. Because he wants to believe he's not the person he was beating himself up for being and that there is hope in the situation after all. That his decision wasn't wrong. That Gon can save him again and continue to lead him into the light, rather than the darkness he grew up in and knows he still harbors within himself.

He buys into Gon's perspective also because he can't stand looking into Gon's hopeful face and telling Gon what he strongly suspects: That Kite is dead, that there's no hope. Gon wouldn't accept that, Gon might reject Killua if he says that, and Killua doesn't want to dim Gon's light.

Killua was never allowed to be a kid--he grew up training, killing, working. It was only with Gon he was finally able to act his own age, play, be a normal kid like he wanted to.

And here, he lets himself be a little naive and accept Gon's perspective, let himself have faith in the world and the boy he loves.

So, ultimately I think his cynicism and realism collapses in the face of Gon's "light," but I think Killua has moments throughout the arc where doubt starts creeping in in spite of that. He pushes it down because of all the above reasons. By the point his view of the situation reaches a breaking point, it's like Gon is a boulder rolling down a hill and gaining speed, and Killua isn't able to stop him until it's very nearly too late.

[kesouu]

Blue Star☆｡⁠*✯ﾟ⁠+*⁠.⁠✧

(⁠☆) Narumi Gen x Oc

(｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ CHAPTER 1 +ﾟ⁠*｡⁠)

(⁠｡⁠•̀✧) FIRST POST IN A WHILE SO WHY NOT MAKE A SERIES??

13 years ago...

A 12 year old Hoshiko stands before a crowd of older boys unconscious on the floor and a boy her age in the center of the chaos.

"Hoy! Your all bruised up!" She yells cupping her hands around her mouth to emphasize her voice "What's it to you?!" The boy yells as he snaps his head in her direction with a scowl on his face which morphs into surprise as the girl walks towards him avoiding from stepping on the boys on the floor to grab the bruised boy's wrist. "Oi?!-" was all the boy could yell before he was being pulled and yelled at "I'm going to patch you up at my house! No complaining!" The girl exclaims.

Narumi, Hoshiko learns, hisses at the antiseptic she dabs on the boy's wounds. The boy was propped up on a counter, his head unfortunately forced by the girl to rest on her palm as he flinched away from the burn of it on his cuts. "You take punches but not betadine?" She laughs as she grabs a plaster to place on his face as she hears him huff in annoyance. "Aren't you that guy who aces all his classes but can't stay unsuspended for the life of him? We go to the same school." Hoshiko says gently placing the plaster on his face caressing it with her thumb to smooth it out. "Yeah, you done yet? If you are, I got a game to finish so-" Narumi was about to jump off the kitchen counter untill Hoshiko stopped him.

"Go to me when you get bruised up again." Hoshiko says sternly holding onto the boy's arm "Thank you so much, mitsuba-san" he says just as sternly until he yells out again "IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF YOU DIDN'T NAG THE WHOLE TIME?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED THIS AND YOUR THE ONE COMPLAININ'?" Narumi yells holding up his middle finger, in retaliation, she holds up her own and argues back "My conscience couldn't walk away when i saw you, okay!? I knew first aid anyway my mom taught me..."

Silence follows the outburst as Narumi scoffs "I don't care about you or your conscience if that's all that made you want to do this. It's just because you want to feel good about yourself..." He lowly says to the girl who's eyes widen at the anger and the twinge of sorrow in his words. "...I've always survived on my own no one has done me any good in this world anyway so leave me alone."

Narumi finally jumps off the counter top but was stopped at the front door yet again "You sure are stubborn." He says, an irk mark appearing on his cheek. "I get that a lot" Hoshiko smirks as she continues "Listen, you say the world hasn't done good for you right? Well let me be the first to give you good, come here whenever you like, let's be friends." The boy infront of her stares in shock and confusion 'Why the hell is this kid doing this..' "You have a wierd way of making friends you know that." The girl nods and moves out of the way of the door "I know, that's all I gotta say so your free to go." Narumi reaches for the doorknob and as he twists it Hoshiko speaks up again "I hope next time you come over it's not after you beat up more random guys alright?"

"Are you kidding me." Hoshiko was out in another one of her afternoon walks to see Narumi beating up another bunch of older boys. 'might as well lessen my job later' she thinks as she digs around in her pocket 'there you are...' she says grabbing her magic stick as she pulls the screw at the end and it extends and she goes to join in on the fight.

"You don't have to do this." Narumi says holding a guy by his hair as he watches Hoshiko hit another with the end of her stick "I don't learn bojutsu to just rot in the dojo you know." She huffs as the last of the group was on the floor to then turn to the boy she was with -

"Guess I'm going to be patching you up again, right?"

"Do whatever you want"

"You don't have to do this." Narumi says for the second time that day "But I want to" the boy who was sat yet again on her counter top furrows his eyebrows in frustration "You'll stop doing it eventually when you don't want to anymore." He says, the boy feels a slight pang in his chest at his comment "Nah I could get used to this I like patching you up now, you are my friend now, right?" Narumi stares at her as she smoothens the plaster on his cheek again with her thumb "You were serious about that?" And the girl hums as she began to clean up the mess she made.

"I better not catch you in a fight again, sheesh are you like a gangster or something? So many people have some sort of grudge on you. Its the weekend and all you've been up to is being ganged up on??" She says bewildered "Not my fault they don't mind their own business." The boy looks away his bangs covering his eyes Hoshiko then brightens up at the sight "I'll be right back!" She says before disappearing up the stairs leaving Narumi in the kitchen, from his position he can clearly see the living room so curiosity takes over him as he jumps off the counter to explore the room.

'Theres only older pictures of them together' Narumi thought as he stared at the family pictures on the wall 'they have a huge tv and a console too, might stay here a while then' crouching down to look at the console connected to the tv as he heard footsteps going down the stairs "Got you something!" Hoshiko says hiding an object in her hands as she descends the stairs "Look!" She stands beside Narumi to show him multiple clips shaped like stars "I am NOT wearing those." He glares at her as she laughs "Come on! It's to get your hair out of your face!" She whines as she tries to put it in his hair "No way! I like my hair like this!" He yells trying to push her hands away "Just this once!!"

The couch cushions were all over the living room, pictures were now hanging crookedly on the wall, coffee table not in the same position it was in before from the wrestling the two children did as Narumi sits with a scowl on his face as he plays with Hoshiko on her console with an assortment of different colored star clips in his hair "They look good on you" Hoshiko snickers without looking away from the screen "Shut up." The boy says as he glares at the tv in frustration "How are you so good at this!" he complains as the girl laughs "You're just ass at it thats why." she says beating Narumi in a match for the 3rd time "Forget it! I'm going home!" He says slamming the controller on the coffee table "No you aren't! You're helping me clean the mess we made!" The boy grows an irk mark at the girl's demand "Why should I clean?! You started it?!" He yells pointing a finger at the girl "You were the one who started throwing pillows!" She argues back.

"That was harder than I thought..." Hoshiko says looking at the living room they just cleaned "I would have been home by now fighting the final boss of my game." Narumi crosses his arms as he stands beside her "Well you're free to go home now." The girl says looking at the boy beside her as they walk to the door. "Did you have fun?" She says teasingly to Narumi's displeasure "...It was ok" he rolls his eyes and continues "Do I really have to keep these on?!" He says angrily and Hoshiko laughs at his frustration "Duh! I have loads of those things so its fine if you keep them." Narumi huffs out a breath and turns his back to the girl "Fine, I'm going home" he says as he walks away from the door raising his hand to wave "Bye! Get home safe!" The girl yells. On his way back to the orphanage Narumi feels a tingle in his chest 'The world is finally showing me some good huh?'

-☆☆

[randy-jester]

My Imaginary Ride The Cyclone Hybrid Live-Action and Animation Feature Film that only exists in my head: Part 2

Here's the link to Part 1!

Apologies for splitting it into 2 parts. Tumblr literally wouldn't let me post it as one big chunk. 😭

Continuing on:

To refresh: This would be a hybrid film that combines both live action and animated segments. The majority of the movie would be shot in live-action under a sepia filter, but all of the choir member's songs would be animated with different art styles. "What The World Needs" is in CGI Disney style, "Noel's Lament" is black-and-white 2D animation, "This Song is Awesome" is stylized graffiti, and "Talia" is in watercolor.

Of course, "Space Age Bachelor Man" will use an art style resembling Silver Age comics (which, fun fact, is around the time Silver Surfer was introduced). The song sequence will actually show most of the events Ricky details in his fantasies (ie., him getting abducted to Planet Zolar, laying with the sexy cat women, stopping the war between K-9 and Zolar, etc.).

Side Note: We don't actually see Ricky get freaky on screen. But we do see him and the kitties in snippets of suggestive action accompanied by on-screen sound bubbles every time Ricky says "Meow!". (This movie is already getting an R-rating for every time Noel says "Fucked Up Girl".)

Another side note: I know that in the 2018 version of RTC, Constance plays the "Zolarian Queen". But because this is MY movie concept, I get to do what I want. And I say Jane Doe is the Zolarian Queen instead (SpaceDolls 4 Ever! <3).

"Ballad of Jane Doe" will be in stop motion (either using paper or puppets). In the first half, we see her recount the accident. She looks like how she does now (with the doll head). She hits the ground right before "And from the ground beneath my feet", and her head falls off. We see her laying headless on the ground for a some time while other carnival patrons are screaming and getting away from her. On "Just John and Me" she stumbles back to her feet. And on "Forever Eternally Jane Doe" she screws her head back on.

In the next verse, we see Jane try to reach out to the other carnival goers, essentially trying to identify her family and friends. When she finds none, Jane boards the rollercoaster again on "Time eats all his children in the end"

Essentially, the idea is that because it's her only memory, Jane is forced re-live the accident over and over again through her song sequence. She desperately wants to find out who she is and what her past was. But the only memory she has to dig through is that of the accident.

She falls to the ground again on "Forever Eternally Jane Doe". Then gets dragged onto the ride a third time by carnies. She looks tired like she doesn't even want to do this anymore. On "Like John I'll be eternally a forgotten name, some lost refrain" we see her fly and float through the air (like how the other choir kids did during Uranium suite). But this time she never hits the ground. Instead, at the end of the song, she just reappears in the warehouse.

Constance's song, "Sugar Cloud", is the only individual segment that isn't animated. Instead, it's shot in live-action, but in full technicolor! Think like how vibrant Barbieland looked in the Barbie movie. Like that. The reason why "Sugar Cloud" is in live-action is because Constance is romanticizing her life as it was, rather than what it could have been.

Constance begins her first verses, still in sepia, at the warehouse. But when she goes "Let me take you away", she struts forward and the scenery changes behind her to that bright technicolor look. And instead of being at the warehouse, they're back at the carnival. But everything is bright and sunny and idealistic.

During Constance's recorder solo, the choir gets new outfits that reflect each of their personalities. The outfits magically poof on out of thin air. The choir members keep these new outfits for the duration of the song, then go back to their school uniforms after the sequence is over.

When Jane Doe is chosen to live again, her body fades away, leaving behind a roll of film. Ricky slides this film into a projector, and the choir watches the reel of Penny Lamb’s life together.

After Karnak’s death, we see the sepia filter lift off from the film. Along with it, we finally get to see how much decay and disrepair has taken over the warehouse. The choir members have a spiritual glow around their bodies.

The choir members perform the last song, “It’s Not A Game/It’s Just a Ride” inside the warehouse. As the sun rises, their bodies fade away.

Title card rolls at the sound of crashing metal.

[cringefaecompilation]

I think what gets me about the fan debate over Bells Hells reactions to the vision from Aeor is that some people think there is a right or a wrong.

That there needs to be a right and wrong for these incredibly conflicted and nuanced characters to rally behind. None of these guys were staunchly pro-gods before this once FCG was gone and yet they’ve been present and ready to help from the time the Vanguard and Ludinus were revealed as threats.

That entire vision showed mortals, primes and betrayers alike making incredibly dubious decisions. There isn’t much of a way to predict what the Hells will think. The only thing I hope this will show them is that division is nothing new or unique to mortals; and the main threat is still this demonstrably evil mortal trying to use everyone with power he doesn’t possess in a revenge quest.

if i may jump off your ask to make a post abut something that's been frustrating me for a while: this was never about the gods explicitly. it's been about power since day one.

it's about both the pro and anti god societies of the world being jingoist murderers that will kill anybody they disagree with. ludinus going out of his way to commit mass genocide on species he deems inferior to steal their power. the eugencist oppressive societies on both ruidus and exandria with the weavemind and aeor. opportunist abusive accelerationist cunts like zathuda and delilah who only want to watch the world burn so they can get ten seconds of eternal glory before the planet is rendered inhabitable. even "good" people in power have their biases that screw over underprivileged folks "for the greater good"

and how the hells react to power: imogen seeing it as an all-consuming force that can kill you (which she keeps getting proven right about lmao), laudna and chetney seeing it as an unambiguously good thing that can get you respect, ashton and fearne and dorian understanding it's bad and rebelling against it each in their own ways, orym and fcg understanding it's bad but resigning themselves to their belief that some people are just inherently more worthy of it and they're only meant to be followers... it's a very complex situation!

and downfall made me hate ludinus more because how the fuck can you watch all that and then proceed to do the exact same shit you condemn the gods for doing? how can you look at cassida being used as a tool by aeor and have her concerns brushed off by the primes and mocked by the betrayers and then proceed to use her as nothing more than "proof" that the gods suck and do the same to liliana? if he digs in his heels and tries to say that what he's doing is totally different and he shouldn't be questioned for his actions because he has a finite lifespan i'm punting him off a cliff.

[mysoncookie]

Harry Potter fic recs

hey y'all I know that I said I was going to post more frequently but I got busy with passing school requirements to graduate

Anyways,

here's another fic recs from yours truly, as always if the creators of this fics see these and would like their works here removed then pls feel free to message me

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sugar, spice, and everything nice by gothmilf

Teen & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings

Available on AO3, Complete | Wordcount: 4,568

Summary:

Seamus and Dean, digging into Malfoy’s three-tier chocolate cake. McGonagall snacking on Malfoy’s double chocolate chip cookies during Transfiguration the other day. Madam Pomfrey, gushing on and on about Malfoy’s madeira loaf cake. It’s all anyone wants to talk about anymore; in class, in the library, in the common room, in the halls.

Where are Harry’s ginger snaps? Harry’s double chocolate chip cookies and loaf cakes and muffins and pies? Harry’s bloody delicious macarons? Where are they? What is Malfoy playing at?

Alternative title: Draco Malfoy and How to Say Sorry Without Actually Having to Say it.

The Importance of Being Draco Malfoy by poppyhills

Teens & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 66,159

Has an On Going Series Called "The Importance of Being Draco Malfoy"

Summary:

The answer to the age-old question, "What if instead of a scratch on the arm, Buckbeak had stomped on Draco's head instead and caused tragic memory loss?"

It was a truth universally acknowledged that the path to reforming a Slytherin prince never did run smooth.

Hogwarts AU Prisoner of Azkaban.

Draco Malfoy and his will to live (on rewrite) by JueShi_QingHua

Teen & Up, Gen, No Archive Warning Applied

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 28,517

Has an On Going Series Called "Draco Malfoy Time Travel Chronicles"

Summary:

After the world screws him over and over non-stop, Draco Malfoy decides to take things into his own hands and stop this madness once and for all.

Or.

Draco travels back in time to change his past for the betterment of his future.

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if there was a mistake/problem with any of the links pls let me know ALSO I do not support jk rowling in anyway shape or form any hate towards the LGBTQ+ community or any marginalized groups should not be tolerated

[velvet-vox]

INDOCTRINATION F####NG SUCKS

AND WHY IT HARMS ART TOO.

The title is self-explanatory yet it cannot overstate the massive damage and impact that culture, society, and any other type of long term influence has on the human mindset and its artistic output.

You may be thinking, what is this post talking about? Well let me explain.

You see, the thing about me is that I tend to enjoy more complex stories with complicated characters and dynamics, but not in just the political, real world type of way like Arcane politics, I am towards the type of stories that allow for good characters to remain good and for the status quo to change in a substantial way; for antagonists to be complicated while not having them all be morally grey but showing that even the more seemingly black and white ones are not just pure evil atrocities and are still worthy of a shot at redemption; to not have said redemption be served on a silver platter but not just permanently locking people out of society just because they required said society to invest too much time and effort in helping them become the best version of themselves, because unfortunately, despite the opposite being also true, we are not born equally and some people are going to struggle more than others due to things outside of their control like their personality type and lack of mental fortification.

I want balance in storytelling! Not just gore or wholesome, not just morally grey or black and white, not just big spectacles and pause moments, but all of those combined in ways that force me to reflect on the media I consume and the way I consume it, to dig further in the limits of artistic expression and the classification of art as a whole.....

And indoctrination just ruins all of that, period.

We all, from a young age, are conditioned to uphold certain standards and to not challenge said standards in fear of being cast out by the people around us and the world we live in.

Art, as a medium, should be used to counteract the rigid lines of thinking that we're asked to uphold, but unfortunately, even if just subconsciously, the harmful, more strict lessons that we learn growing up still make their way into our works because of the mass consumption of simplicity we endured in our childhood.

From a very young age we are taught simple, clear cut definitions of right and wrong, and then we are subsequently told to simplify all of our real world problems into easily computable boxes so that we can be more efficient at our job, from moral decision making down to choosing what to eat for dinner; the adults tell us that it's ok to ask questions when in reality we're often punished or ignored for asking them and we all grow to internalise a passive acceptance of the status quo because that's what the status quo taught us to do in the first place.

I wanted to write this post because I was getting angry at myself for screwing up my own ideas due to my pathological need to divide right and wrong into easily checkable boxes and thus creating issues of the "these two ideas cannot interact or mix with each other anymore because of the way I segregated them" kind. I am always afraid of punishing my villains too much and not punishing my heroes enough and it's very hard for me to find that balanced middle ground that all works of art should strive to achieve; and then I realised: the problem has less to do with me and more on the unfortunate mindset that I internalised in my youth that keeps popping back up slowing down my output for thought provoking stories.

Admittedly, this is a larger issue that (contrary to what our collective nurture has drilled into our heads) cannot be easily resolved and probably requires a vocal discussion of some kind since typing can be extremely tiring and doesn't have the same engagement value of a dialogue, I'm very sorry if you found this post amateurish or you think I haven't conveyed my ideas well enough, I hope someone with a cleaner picture can show me what I got wrong and would like to share their opinions with me.

[sleepy-vix]

Sup.

I'll rarely visit Tumblr from this point onward, because I initially made this account to view fanart of my favorite series. But since new fanart for it is hardly ever created, and I ain't no Da Vinci yet, I've decided that there's no point continually visiting here. I have an entire life I want to start living outside of the four corners of my laptop screen.

But before I "go", I want to tell you something.

I barely know you at all, so forgive me if what I'm saying is inaccurate. You seem to be filled with ideas. Lots of them. Big ones and small ones, like heavy rocks buried under infinite grains of sand on the beach. And you appear to want to DO something with them. You WANT to write something. But with school, and now work, and everything else you're supposed to do, there just never seems to be enough time.

Again, I don't truly know you. But IF that is the case, IF you want to write something, then do it. If there is no time, then try for at least 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes is a grain in the hourglass of life, but you can get at least SOMETHING done, maybe an atom of work. But if you put an atom in place every single day of every single year, over time those minuscule molecules may accumulate into something you can be proud of.

Based off your posts, you seem to hate the stuff which takes up most of your time. But you do those things anyway because you need them to survive, and because the world expects you to do them. SCREW! THE! WORLD! The world has said so many things in the past millennia: that the Earth is flat, that the internet was a fad destined to die out, and that if you don't meet the requirements for what the world thinks a human being should be down to the last millimeter, then you can never be worth anything.

But YOU KNOW those ideas have been blown to the ground and buried in the sand! We know now from the different stars which are visible at different hemispheres, various calculations, and from literal photos and videos of our planet that the Earth is a spheroid (but not a perfect sphere). I don't even NEED to explain the internet part.

What the world considers "perfect" keeps changing all the time. But there are so many people who accomplished so much even if they weren't what the world wanted them to be! Hedy Lamarr, an actress during Hollywood's Golden Age, who invented the technology which made the internet possible and is in the Inventors' Hall of Fame. Alice Ball, a black chemist who, in the 1940's, created the most effective cure for leprosy at the time (and was not credited for it until much later). Alan Turing, who cracked the enigma code and is widely considered to be the father of computer science, and was prosecuted at the time for homosexuality. Need I keep going?

In fact, forget accomplishment for a second. What about just... being a person? Of having regular meals to eat and a place to sleep at night? So many people whose names we don't even know were told by everyone that they couldn't even be human, but they went ahead and did it anyway! The entire WORLD has been wrong about things all at once! What about all the wars and genocides which were justified before? What about the ones which are justified now? The world is not infallible, even if it pretends it is!

You'll die one day. And when you die, do you want to honestly say to yourself that it was the WORLD who decided who you could be? The WORLD, no matter how illogical, brutal, and pointless some of its rules are? Why should it be allowed to do that? To make your last breath a sigh of resignation? If you WANT to write, if you want to do ANY good, then DO IT, dammit, even if the world doesn't want you to! If the world doesn't give any time, then after doing what you need to survive, dig up time from the deepest trenches, take in your fist, and shove it in the world's face and say that you did it, that you became who you wanted to be despite all its efforts! And even if you never live to see the fruits of your work, at least you can say you died fighting for them!

Once again, I don't know you, so I am probably wrong about your condition. If that is the case, then I apologize. If I have caused you any degree of discomfort, then I apologize again. That was not my intention. Do whatever you want to in your life, as long as it is the right thing to do. Also, you've probably already thought about all of this already. You're that kind of a person. But, in my experience, hearing something you've already thought about mirrored by another makes it more real.

I wish you all the best. Take care.

I'm so speechless right now. i could cry, because this is so kind and so wonderful and so infinitely thoughtful i feel like its changed the trajectory of my life. You might be right about my underlyng wish to create, or you might not be. Right now, even i'm sure what i want to do with myself.

It's been a depressing and stressful past few months and weeks, and i'm just so thankful someone had been watching me the whole time (i thought i was just talking into the void, but the fact that you noticed that i just got a new job recently means so much to me T-T)

Really, thank you for this. I'm never going to forget your words, and if i ever do end up writing a book, you're definitely going to be acknowledged 😭 (imagine, "dedicated to tumblr user ijustdidthissoicouldscroll")

I'm sorry to see you go, especially after all this. :(

You've given me so much insight again and again and i feel like honestly i havent done anything in return

I understand completely though, and won't ask you to stay selfishly, but just please dont delete your account. And, have fun and enjoy your life beyond the four corners of your laptop screen.

I wish you all the best aswell. Take care.

Carpe diem & carpe noctem, etc. ✮ 🫡

ps. i really did not write enough to express my awe and gratitude, sorry 😭. i feel undeserving, but i know i shouldnt speak negatively about myself like that much more, so i'll focus on my gratitude- thank you. I'm so glad we met. Also, at this point, you should write your OWN book, because damn you have such a way with words.

[landofmemoriesig]

A variety of scrapped content? (Or un-posted content)

Cool!

This is Curry Cookie. I just never posted her because I was worried this mom-friend would be a bit insensitive.

But like.. it's just a Curry flavored cookie. Not as insensitive as Devsister's uh.. cough cough Yogurca cough cough.

This is Dristar's dad figure! Who got majorly scrapped because it's.. well it's just Dig-Dug's classic sprite, but as a Pokemon. I think I should leave Pokemon designing to the pros.

We don't talk about Entropy...

It is a creepy design ngl. Just.. a poorly executed bio is what screwed this character over.

I don't recall if I properly posted her, but this is Barren-Cuda. She's a clone of all the members of the Sushi Pack. But then she rebelled, and becomes a constant rival to the Sushi Pack.

This poor girl was scrapped the moment the webcomic she was referencing died.

Weeeeell this one wasn't a surprise at all!

(if you um.. have seen the tier list, that is)

Rip in pepperonis Jerry. You were not meant for this world.

I also do not recall if I posted this Olive Blood.

Her name is Luxtea Dexent and she fights with a pendulum. And also has a weird fascination with the stars and moons.

I think he was meant for the main Mega Man AU, but was changed to Fully Charged. And like.. never posted?

That's a crime, and I'm changing that today!

This was once Tainted Anna! She never got posted, although she is quite the creepy design. She would've been right at home with the other Tainted Characters, but alas, it was not meant to be.

These two cuties were never posted! I wonder why...

Man, that Pac-Man blog would've been cool!

...Maybe someday.

I forget if I posted him, but this is White Bomber from my Demon Bros AU. He's.. very corrupted. In case you couldn't tell.

Whilst this technically isn't my art, it does have an OC of mine.

That being the dog on the right, her name is Bijue. She's an old OC of mine that I will be happy to redesign in my new MHS art style.

We STAN the old ghost designs, y'know?!

..Joking aside, I really need to make proper Classic, Party and Monsters designs. Even if uh.. Pac-Man Monsters is dead. It was apart of my childhood.

And we are ending on an ugh note.

Girl, you need a redesign! BADLY.

It's mainly the colors.. and her name. I guess everything about her I just don't like period.

Or y'know, I could post her on my toyhouse and see if people want to Adopt her..

[metalheadkells]

@powerbottomeminem said: of course writing is draining: it’s an intensive, creative activity that you put your soul into. how could it not be draining? it’s about managing that, not it being energetic tofu writing as a mostly solitary endeavor is inherently less engaged with fans and other people. you write and once you put the text out there, you walk away. different to a musician who has to perform their work a lot. do you want to perform your texts? do you want praise for being done? or what is it you want there?

i wanna feel good abt the fact that i made something instead of being distracted by the obsessive need for ppl to see it. except anything short of the type of comment writers leave for other writers - the rambly ones w/ specific quotes picked out - doesn’t really keep me from hurtling into that old void lol. the average comment just gives me quick little bursts of relief. i think that’s my problem w/ fic-writing - besides the feeling that it’s never truly mine and that i was only able to spin a story by borrowing someone else’s world and someone else’s characters that i couldn’t create from scratch myself - it’s the built-in audience. the feeling that if i don’t reach that built-in audience it’s bc i’m not good enough to. or, sometimes, that i’m entitled to. like this mental drop always poisons the entire writing experience for me bc the months (it’s usually months) i spent lovingly or angrily stringing words together don’t matter At All if i don’t get something out of it. but the thing that i want is SLIPPERY. 

idk. the whole time im writing im looking forward to posting. i want someone to tell me they felt connected to the story bc the story is usually woven with pieces of me that i hate or that i only feel comfortable examining through the lens of fiction. like i want someone to put their AP lit hat on and dig down to my core message so i know i have a kindred spirit out there somewhere. 

but maybe this is just me trying to intellectualize it and the real answer is that my loose screw tells me what to do 

[hereforyourdispleasure]

🙈, 🍩, 🌏, ⚙️, 🪤 - Darian

📎, 💧, 💗 - Alir

☄️, ☁️, 🎭 - Mark

💡, 🔥, ✏️ - Adrian

🌌, 👑 - Celeste

Cut off because good lord, long post

Darian

Side of him he doesn't like to show?- Literally all the dodgy stuff he does. While he knows that a threatening reputation is useful, he just doesn't really like it. There are some cases, obviously with people that have/are likely to try to pull shit with him, where he's more than happy to be seen as a threat. Takes a bit of sadistic joy in it even. But, especially with his friends, he doesn't really want to be seen as serious, violent and threatening. Plus he thinks it's fun to threaten people then have them search him up to try and dig up dirt, only to find he keeps posting memes. He is/can easily be a threat and he knows it, he just doesn't like other people knowing it or taking him too seriously/not trusting him because of it

Favourite sweet treat?- Ridiculously elaborate ice cream. Give that guy candyfloss bubblegum marshmallow ice cream with pieces of meringue and honeycomb? He's fucking overjoyed

Will he give up the world for someone they love?- Depends on how many people he loves are still in the world. Most likely no, he'd see it as unfair to screw over so many people just for one. But if he was feeling particularly devoted that day, maybe

Thoughts on science and art?- He sees both as important. Science important for factual knowledge and progression towards understanding of the world around us, art for understanding internal processes and the ability to connect/communicate/co-operate with others

What will always lure him into danger?- Chances are he's aware of the danger, so it's whether or not he sees it as worth it. Loved ones? Yes absolutely, he literally jumps at, has a lovely conversation with and a coffee with said danger most of the time. Him running into danger for the chance of getting something he wants out of it? Wouldn't really happen. He'd just find 20 alternative methods, he could get what he wants anytime, why endanger himself for it. Has he done so in the past? 😶 Yes of course

Alir

A random fact- Actually has a good relationship with their family and stays in contact with them, visiting regularly

Random angst headcanon- They've gotten to the point where they just emotionally shut down if anything really bad happens. They've faced a lot of bad things and just usually just try to avoid the whole thing. As much as they try to talk things out, like they've suggested and advised Darian to do, it usually doesn't work well (both in the past and in their own current friend group). Darian and Mark know this, and try to either get them as far away from shit as possible, or make sure they constantly check in

What happens when they have a crush?- Yes, pretty noticeable. If they like someone, they want the person to know. Why not, if you're seeking a relationship, make it clear. They'd probably be just very themself- very bright and enthusiastic. Would definitely try to impress the person. Like with their radical dirtbiking skills B)

Mark

What do people assume about him, are they right?- I'd say the assumption about him is that he's just Darian's work partner, helps when asked to, doesn't really do anything besides that. But nope, he does play quite a few crucial roles, to the point that he was a higher up himself way before Darian. But that assumption about him is exactly what both Mark and Darian are aiming for

Soft headcanon- Talks about the machines he makes as if they're conscious brings. He's not mental I promise it's just that he takes a lot of pride in what he creates

Does he act differently around different people?- Sort of? In his career he's just serious, wants to get things done without making things complicated with social stuff. When he does have to be social, if its with people he needs to be on the good side of, he'll be smiley, making polite sarcastic jokes. To people he doesn't particularly need to please, he's fine with being his generally serious self along with making jokes and comments. It's slightly different between Alir and Darian. He doesn't really make comments/jests at Alir, that's just not what their friendship is. But with Darian? This man can and will meet Darian's sarcastic humour, meet his jokes with comments and jests of his own. He's comfortable with not being completely serious around him (unless the situation calls for it), while knowing that he and Darian both deeply care for each other. His family, though? He's just plain serious with them- short responses, blunt and to the point, would never try to make jokes with them

Adrian

Is he a planner?- When he needs to be. If there's a mission that has to go a specific way (he's working directly under Handler at this point so lets face it, everything has to be perfect) then he'll plan stuff out. It's more of a loose plan, in comparison to Darian's whole "I MUST MAKE 70 PLANS AND THEN 300 BACK UP PLANS". Just as long as he knows what he's doing and what the alternatives are, he's fine. He absolutely will just abandon all plans if he thinks it's necessary

Self destructive tendencies?- Ohohoho buddy. This man is purely self destructive tendencies. After losing the second of the two people that have actually been decent to you, the person you saw as your chance at some kind of normal life, in exactly the same way as the first time mind you? Yeah, not doing too good. Darian was willing to put his life on the line because he knew his death date so knew that he'd probably be fine, he easily endangers himself for the people around him. Adrian has basically nobody, the closest thing being Mark who he's only recently met, no guarantee of when he'll die, he just expects he's going to die as part of his job some day and doesn't care. Puts his life on the line just because he can. He'll do it over the smallest things, usually to prove a point, look threatening, or because of pride. In the non canon rp when he was daring Fable to shoot him, he was moreso shocked at his own reaction of avoiding the bullet. He basically just starts chatting up random people in timelines just to drop them soon after. Aftereffects of mixing grief with the sudden knowledge of the multiverse and that everything is meaningless 😔. He has a few others which I won't go into detail with because frankly I don't want to. He's just very self destructive, self loathing but at the same time is being given zero time to recover and is being encouraged towards a mini god complex while being prepared as an intercosmic sacrifice, while trying to get as much useful (blackmail) material about Commission and Handler as he can. So yeah, not a good time

Particular quote/lyric I associate with him- I honestly don't associate songs with him. There's obvious ones like Girl Anachronism by Dresden Dolls (Amanda Palmer yikes 😬), Noel's Lament from that roller coaster musical (💀 ik but it makes sense), because I associate them with his lack of self preservation and just lack of care. Then You're not welcome by Nathan Apollo specifically for this part:

But the last 2 lines can be applied to Darian in main reality at most ages. But I don't really associate much with him, especially not any more positive toned songs. I'm sure there are positive toned songs that can be linked to him but idk haven't found them yet

Celeste

Inspiration behind her- I haven't even watched Steven Universe, but Blue Diamond. Celeste is a creator being, to completely oppose Hyra, aka L'appel Du Vide. (Hyra hasn't really been mentioned in canon because Darian would never willingly talk about her. All you need to know is if Adrian is the lamb being led to slaughter, Hyra is the slaughterhouse. She's also the being that AvExp!Darian is basically an avatar for)

But back on track, Celeste is a creator. Creating realities, saving them. The whole lightning theme is a haha funny on my part because it's just "spark of creativity!". But yeah, Blue Diamond inspired, creativity, energy transferrals in the form of sparks

What does she want to be remembered as?- I don't really think Celeste cares how she's remembered. She's kind, yes, but you also have to remember what she is. She doesn't care about how she's known or if she's known at all. Fame isn't her thing

[eversea143]

Who’s The Collector?

(Spoiler Alert!)

Long post warning too ‘v’

I’ve recently seen For The Future (incredible episode can’t wait for the final *squee!*) and I’m, well, having some deep thoughts about our fan favorite god-child.

I’ve already seen dozens of theories on who/what The Collector is. A lot has been (dis)proven with the recent lore-dump that we got in the episode. I’m having a lot of fun seeing how others are digging into the deeper lore and the how’s and why’s of TC’s past and the apparent species he’s a part of.

And I’m not saying any of them are wrong!

But here’s what I think:

The Collector is, in a sense, an eldritch being pretending to be a mortal.

‘What?’ you might ask? ‘He’s powerful, sure, but an eldritch being???’

Well, let us delve for a moment into what the word ‘eldritch’ stands for. There are a few descriptions, but the one it serves here is as follows:

“Something unknown, beyond the realm of our understanding and perception of reality.”

Crude and simple, but it sort of fits doesn’t it? We don’t know much about The Collector. We know they look like a child, have yellow-blue skin, unphatomable power and wants to make friends. We know (now) that they’re from a species of seemingly ageless celestial beings who go from world to world, collecting the flora and fauna to preserve it and keep it from fading away through time.

But what else do we know? We don’t know how his powers work, why his people collect living creatures besides the obvious, or how their society works if they even have one. We don’t know why our Collector stood out from the others, why he looks back on his people’s history with disgust and contempt. We don’t know what landed him in magical prison or what his connection with the Titans is.

And at the end of the day, we’ll likely never know the full story. Why?

Because The Collector, our Collector, has lived for millenia.

And that’s a long time! Too long for our feeble minds to comprehend! We can’t make sense of what it means for a living being to be a child yet at the same time live for hundreds of thousands of millions of years. We might get close, but we’ll never truly know.

It’s beyond our realm of understanding.

We are Mortal beings, living finite lives on finite worlds with finite resources. We are relient on physical sustenance to survive and are fragile when it comes to the great forces excuded by the stars. We rely on the complexity of magnetic fields and layers of ozone to not be exposed to toxic levels of radiation generated by our own sun! The very thing that also gave us our life!

But guess who aren’t like that? The Collectors.

They live for a very long time, if not practically forever! TC has yet to sustain an injury and we haven’t seen any depictions of Collectors dying, so we don’t know if they’re essentially ageless or truly immortal. They are immortal in every way that matters, at current.

(The fact that our dear Titan BL sealed TC away instead of killing him is in an ambigious area because either he couldn’t kill TC, physically, or wouldn’t kill TC because ‘literal Dad here’ and ‘morals?’)

So yes, Eldritch Being.

But then what about the ‘pretending to be a Mortal’?

Let us recap what we know about Collectors, as a species. They collect stuff, primarily living creatures because something (sympathy? empathy? Desire?) brings them to do so. They preserve beings from different planets to keep them out of Time’s reach. But rue those who stand in their way, they will scorche the sky and rain fire down upon anyone who opposes them.

Overkill much?!?

It’s pretty extreme, even when you try to look at it from their perspective. Oh, you don’t want us to collect your people? Well, screw you, we’ll bring some carnage and genocide make sure you never can! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! Why destroy the creatures you’re trying to preserve just because they don’t want to get turned into statues or scrolls?!

Is it a sick enjoyment? Do they not know any better? Is it in their nature to destroy what opposes them? You’d believe that beings living for millions of years would eventually understand that there are legitimate reasons that what they’re doing is wrong, right?

But that’s the gist of it. Collectors collect living beings and destroy those who stand in their way. It’s clearly been like that for generations, eons perhaps, and so far they seem to be doing just fine.

And then our Collector pops up. He’s just a little one when his people find the Demon Realm, curious and learning.

He watches his people as they start collecting. Watches as they discover the Titans who, for good reason, oppose what’s happening and begin fighting back. Before all this it’s likely the Collectors had never faced a species before who possessed powers that canceled out theirs, so at least the Titans had some foothold to work with!

But a child immersed in a war they don’t understand? Don’t know the reason for? They’re young, just trying to make sense of everything around them. This are their people, right? And they’re trying to collect, right? So why are they fighting those big creatures?

It doesn’t make sense, not to them. Young children are curious and want to know everything, the rhyme and reason behind every act and deed. But the simple platitude of ‘this is how it’s always been’ isn’t working. Not this time.

So where would you look for the answer to a question your ‘parents’ can’t give a good answer to? Why, the ones they’re fighting of course!

But those big Titans are scary and might hurt him, so why not see what the small ones have to say, huh?

Enter stage, the Titan’s young. Their children, so curious as children are. Kept away from the hardships of their parents’ war. All of a sudden this magical child, just their size, just pops in! And starts asking questions to which they don’t have an answer for! What will you do?

Well, he’s their size, right? Why not play a few games! Have some fun!

I like to imagine little TC was so confused when the Titan kids tried to show him what games are. His people don’t seem like the types to entertain their own with silly little play when there’s collecting to do. Eventually he warmed up to it, started liking these games, wanted to play more. And his people likely wouldn’t agree, so why not keep it a secret? Why not keep sneaking out and play with his friends?

Eventually the Collectors find out. Perhaps even force poor TC to watch as they murdered his friends in front of him. Go ahead, let’s traumatize this kid because he isn’t listening!

So then what? He lost his friends, lost his only link to something positive and good. He’ll want that back, please and thank you.

So he runs away. Runs away and maybe, just maybe, runs into a Titan who could see past the whole ‘being of the same species as my kin’s murderers’.

But there’s still a snag in his plan. You see, The Collector isn’t Mortal.

Never was, likely never will be. He’s a being who lives for eternal ages and requires nothing to survive. He can be in space and be just fine, whilst Titans would likely still choke or explode because they’re organic beings.

But he’s gotten a glimpse of what it means to be Mortal. He saw the Titan kids, saw as they played and ate and slept. Watched as they were told stories by their parents and played games. This is all TC knows about being Mortal.

So he begins acting like it. Acts like a Mortal child who wants to play games and be put to sleep and eat food and have friends. They’re good enough at it that they even fool BL until something or another (perhaps the true power of TC coming out when their friend is endangered?) makes it clear they’re different and scary and dangerous and might just very well end up hurting or killing his child because they’re careless with their powers!

Like, seriously, TC likely was meant to learn how to control his powers but snuck out before he could, so now we don’t just have an Eldritch child on the loose but one who’s practically an aimless missile and potential ticking timebomb if not handled carefully! When he dances his magic literally turned a whole island into his personal playground! His powers are solely connected to his emotions and practically had no aim when it engulfed the Isles, only directed with the recollections TC had of what it meant to be a Collector and how he could use that to keep on playing.

He’s a Collector, it’s what he is meant to do (no it isn’t that’s just what his people did but he doesn’t know what else to do so why change that-) but surely he could do better, be better? Keep collecting without having to murder those who oppose him and instead make friends he can play with for forever and ever and ever!

But deep inside, a part of TC had been fooled by his act as well and now he’s not just an Eldritch Being pretending to be a Mortal.

He feels like one, too.

[lesbiandeerstory]

it’s 4am on a deer dev wednesday and i didn’t make a post for this week cuz i promised one of my best friends that i’d take today off so we mostly just hung out and played video games all day. it was great!

4am is not a great time to be writing a lengthy development update, especially since i should’ve been in bed like an hour ago and i’m too tired to even remember half the things i did this week, HOWEVER! i do have another post in mind i wanna put up

i wanna start doing a new weekly thing on thursdays, the script roundup, where i post bits of the script i’ve posted on twitter over the week and i talk about my thoughts behind them. i had alot of fun making an earlier post where i did just that, and i think i’d enjoy making it a regular thing.

so here’s this week’s script roundup!

“relationships”

here we have altaria and rose mallow talking about, well, relationships.

relationships are pretty much the biggest connecting thread in lesbian deer story. i mean it’s in the name; your deer FRIEND. but sometimes friendships fall apart, and it sucks. sometimes ppl u love disappoint u, let u down, break ur heart. and sometimes u carry that heartbreak with u for a long time, and u ask urself alot of dumb questions like “how did i let this happen” or “where did i go wrong” etc.

writing is a funny thing. u put urself and ur demons bare on the page in alot of ways. u dig deep inside urself and put the ugliest, bloodiest parts of u onto the page for potentially the WORLD to see. it’s a weird feeling. and i think for alot of writers we do it this way bcuz it’s the best way we know to express and understand our own selves.

but also, broken relationships and the heartbreak that come with them aren’t isolated to any one artist. most ppl in this world have dealt with this. so by digging deep into one’s own demons, we can also show other ppl struggling with those same demons like, ur not alone. we can express solidarity with ppl this way, and i think that’s nice.

“goblin mode”

and now for something completely different, veronica, verbena and esme talking about goblins. veronica has a new color here different than last time cuz i realized at some point i couldn’t cover all the characters with the default colors of ms paint, so i started color picking from their official art to represent them in these script updates. it’s better this way i think.

there is no deeper meaning to this particular post, i just thought it was a silly exchange and i wanted to post it. i rly do like esme’s little goblin hands.

“say anything (part 1)”

snowdrop rants about some plot bullshit while esme in her narration explains the game being played. u ever argue with ppl online who are so clearly wrong but they just double and triple down on being wrong?? alot of times this is not out of ignorance, it’s just to rile up the opposing side.

this can be EXTREMELY FUNNY if u do it over something that doesn’t matter at all. if u have ever seen that post where the guy argues that sharks have smooth skin, that shit is a laugh riot! i make posts like that on twitter all the time!

but alot of ppl will use this approach to argue about politics that affect ppl’s life and death, which is significantly less funny. and it’s easy to take the bait and try to argue with ppl who are doing this, but it is quite literally a complete waste of ur fucking time, and u need to be able to recognize when the game is being played and when to disengage.

ppl can just SAY anything, even if they don’t believe it. u can’t always assume that ppl are arguing for something in good faith.

snowdrop kinda fumbles the ball here by talking too goddamn much; the best way to make use of this kinda argument is to be short and quippy.

if u look at that “sharks have smooth skin” post, the person arguing that sharks have smooth skin only ever argues in with one or two phrases at a time. usually just enough to say “sharks have smooth skin”, and then add on one absurd detail to rly put the screws on ppl who can’t handle seeing someone be wrong on the internet.

i wonder if snowdrop dropping the ball in this regard is a character thing, or if i’m just bad at being short and quippy myself [thinking emoji]. i think it’s probably both.

“say anything (part 2)”

i posted these two on twitter together and they COMPLETELY FLOPPED lmao. ZERO notes, except one (1) from my girlfriend who is a sweetheart and will like even my most dogshit posts. despite that, i’m still rly proud of how they turned out, especially this second part.

back when trump was running for president the first time, i watched him give a speech where he claimed he would be a “champion” for queer rights. OBVIOUSLY he was full of shit. obviously his track record on any sort of political issue, especially regarding rights for pretty much any minority group, is immediately evident and NOT GOOD. anyone with two braincells to rub together could tell that he was just fucking lying to win over the crowd and anyone who was watching on tv who happened to be ignorant or credulous. i was neither of those things.

AND YET. i distinctly remember watching that and, KNOWING he was full of shit, still wanting to buy into his hype anyway. i snapped out of it pretty quickly, but in that moment i understood the power of two things: charisma, and DESPERATION.

snowdrop’s dialogue here is pretty much verbatim what i remember trump saying, and esme’s narration is a pretty thorough summation of my feelings. u can just SAY anything! and u KNOW the person is lying to ur face, AND YET!!! if u WANT to believe them badly enough, you’ll make urself do it. if u WANT to hear the lie that they’re telling u, if u WANT to believe that it’s true, if ur SO DESPERATE to hear SOMEONE tell u that sweet lie, u will make urself believe it.

this ties back into the relationships thing too. if ur in a relationship that’s falling apart, it’s easy to convince urself that things are fine or that they can be fixed if u just want it bad enough. it’s easy to stay in something that’s bad for u, even something that’s killing you, if ur desperate enough for the comfort the lie provides.

u can just say anything.

[burningcomputerpersona]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💜

Ahh thanks for the ask!! This one's from my easycore playlist and I hope y'all like it! I've also included my favorite lyrics for each song bc why not lol

and now it feels like we just can't stop anymore even if we tried

we're not changing the world, we're making it right

whatever you want in this only life, can we just be proud tonight

let me hope now, let me start again, take it away, forget my name

over again, this is how it goes, every story's made before it's told

sad enough to say that alone i could barely light a match, but together we can burn this place down

sorry about the mess but when we team up, team up, we always seem to bring this place to the ground

ive seen the best and worst of you, but we're sticking through

because without all of the ups and downs we've been through

you know that it's true that i could really be sick and tired of you

ive been asleep at the wheel for the past three years and it's too late to wake up

i never thought id live to see my best laid plans crumble right in front of me

is it my destiny to fail, ive been at this for years and to no avail

the universe has spoken and it won't rest til my spirit's broken

so here's to all the years ive wasted, i never thought i could become this jaded

sometimes the people we admire aren't always who they seem to be

they hide behind a facade of smoke and mirrors with broken smiles and yellow teeth

and only a monster would think to use a second chance as a weapon, there's no excuse

i fear my world is under water, and i. can't. breathe.

i fear my world is under water, my fears consuming me

drift away to a place thats not so harrowing

to the back plate of my mind, digging up what's left to find

with the bar set way too high for me, im bound to sink uncomfortably

im tongue tied inside with a little bit of lust mixed in to mold myself this solitude

i live in pretend like im never gonna need a friend again, ill keep myself intact