#Satirically

[madame-helen]

[sleeby-bunny]

goddamn gender inflation, can’t have shit these days

[cannibalchicken]

[donald-trump-official]

“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

[mengjue]

Ūropi (Europe)

Ūropi, also known by its indigenous name “Europe”, meaning “wide-gazing” or “broad of aspect”, is a small continent first discovered in 1806 by Moehanga of Ngāpuhi, although indigenous Europeans had been living there for many thousands of years. Modern researchers believe the indigenous Europeans originally migrated from the Middle East, and over time split into separate tribes or “kingdoms,” with many retaining their ancient rangatira (called “monarchs” or “nobility”) to this day.

While many see Ūropi as timeless and exotic, indigenous Europeans have actually adapted well to the modern economy, often exporting cultural products like baguettes and vodka, the former of which may be recognisable as the basis for bánh mì.

[aromanticduck]

"Oh you're alloromantic? But what if you meet someone one day who puts you off romance forever? I think you should put your life on hold just in case that happens."

[watchmakermori]

manifesting the worst tory election result in history tomorrow. like to charge reblog to cast and reply to send the tories to a shadow dimension for 3000 years

[serps-up]

he must have some sort of condition

[mysharona1987]

[killlerfang1]

The Onion is out for BLOOD

[madame-helen]

[khajiithaswitchywares]

Go hiking. Fake your death. Become one with the forest. Elevate to forest god. The simple things.

[cannibalchicken]

your friends love you, your brain is just mean

[donald-trump-official]

Fun facts of the day!

- State charges cannot be pardoned by the President of the United States. They have to be pardoned by the governor of the state in which the crime was committed

- the governor of Georgia does not have pardon power, that power was stripped in 1943 by the Georgia state legislature

- TV cameras are forbidden in federal court. TV cameras are permitted in state court. It’s already been stated that Donald Trump’s Georgia trial will be televised

- Donald Trump will be booked, processed, fingerprinted, and have his mug shot taken just like any other person who enters the Fulton country jail. They don’t believe in special treatment down there

- the Georgia RICO statue carries a 5 year mandatory minimum sentence which cannot be revoked by a judge

[prokopetz]

People act like "satire must have clarity of purpose" is some elevated maxim, but all it's really saying is that you need to a. be making fun of something specific, and b. have a good understanding of what that thing is, because if you're just lashing out in all directions without regard for what you hit the result is usually going to be functionally indistinguishable from your conservative uncle on Facebook.

[animentality]