#SORRY IF THIS SUCKS BTW the anxieties got me

[unabashedmagicalgirlfan]

HIHI ITS ME ISABEAU STARTAGAINAPROLOGUE'S FRIEND. hello there i will. provide my color explanations.

mirabelle is pink for reasons that should be obvious. its The Defacto Precure Protagonist color theres been like two exceptions in the whole franchise to that rule and one of them was debatable and mirabelle just has that magical girl protagonist energy yknow?

isabeau is red because red precure, when they aren't the angsty ones, are the energetic sporty kinda goofy ones, which i feel fits him a bit?

odile is blue because blue precure tend to be studious and calm characters and the "voice of reason" of the team. they also tend to be emotionally repressed though #Lol

bonnie is yellow because in precure yellow tends to be the color of "kid appeal characters", the characters meant to be likeable for the really young kids in the audience. hell in one season the yellow precure was just straight up a 10 year old. while in earlier seasons yellow precure tended to be the cute ones but in later seasons they tend to be zany chaotic comic relief characters, bonnie was picked for the latter characterization.

white precure are rare in precure so it is a bit hard to assign meanings to them, but siffrin is white because white precure have a tendency to be the "second in command" and usually behave as foils to the main characters, which fits how siffrin is the protagonist of the actual isat game even though mirabelle is meant to be a conventional rpg protagonist. i also just felt it made sense if siffrin was the only character to have an "isat typical" theme color, given he's the main protag of canon isat, and white is basically the only monochrome color that gets used as a precure color, soooo yeah. as for the red accents, most white precure have some kind of accents to break up the design and red just. made sense given its use in isat's ending.

If you would be open to it I'd love to hear about your precure au

YEASSS admittedly i dont. have much? in way of plot. it was more so "wow mira really fits for a precure protagonist she is so magical girl" and i just kinda went from there? its just kinda. the pregame plot but also now they are precures and thats how they fight sadnesses off. i wanna come up with more for it but weh. Isabeau i think would be so hyped abt the outfit. and Odile. . i dont think she is as hyped this is not what she was expecting nor rlly what she wanted but sucks for her! become magical girl.

siiif.. idk abt him. also a precure for sure but idk how that happens for him. shrugs. and bonnie i do not know. r they also a precure but the others just. dont let em fight. i dont know! eek!!

Loop is a mascot creature. (idk if there. is another mascot critter that mira would have beforehand or if there just. is a lack of one through the entire journey.erm)

aaas for what colors they are. 1: isat universe is still monochrome!! i just think.itd be funny if their outfits were the only thing in color. for funsies! anyways 2: Mira is pink, Isabeau is red, Odile blue, Bonnie (if they are a precure) yellow, aand Siffrin white (rare color in precure but..siffy can get it. as a treat) with red accents. midseason cure..

there r !! reasonings behind these color choices buuut. id like for my dear friend my bestie @unabashedmagicalgirlfan to explain em since she was the one who helped a lot with coming up with reasonings and i dont wanna take credit for that -w-'

[ghouldtime]

*slides into the DMS*

S O. What does social anxiety for König look like through your fantastic characterization then? 👀

(Love your Alone operator series btw. Got me on the edge of my seat with each chapter!!)

(Thank you!! 💚💚💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying :D you all have been so so sweet with it and Im over the MOON so many people have liked it)

To answer this question I'm going to have to be a biiig yapper and explain why I think of him the way I do

Going to say this to start, but I'm going with the true fact that König is indeed diagnosed with social anxiety - anything else I'm saying is based off of my personal interpretation of how he acts in game as a disclaimer

I'm also going to state that personally, the König I write is in his lower to mid 40's. Sorry not sorry, I don't see him as a young dude. Especially not when it's pretty much agreed upon that he's a colonel. So he's had a SIGNIFICANT amount of life experience, and a significant amount of time to work on himself and have introspection.

To me, it makes the most sense that he was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier on in his childhood since it was significantly more obvious when he was younger. Something that severe wasn't unnoticed by those around him because some of them did care about him. It's also stated he's suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life so that's how I took it.

I personally go with he grew up in a more rural town in his homeland of Austria, which meant there weren't exactly others around during the first few years. "Go play with the neighbors kids" didn't really work when there weren't neighbors around. It was mainly him and his parents and an occasional relative over.

What could be brushed off as initial shyness clearly couldn't be anymore when he finally was enrolled in school.

Even on the first day when it's "introduce yourself to everyone", he fucked that up so monumentally it'll be engraved forever in his hall of shameful memories that he thinks about late at night. School was an utter nightmare, quite frankly, from moment one. The whole situation was too much, too stressful, and too different from the life he had at home. He flat out refused to get up and present in front of the class and wouldn't talk in group projects just for the fear of embarrassing himself. At that time, he was hitting all the indicators for social anxiety like they're the targets he shoots at today.

He missed out on a lot of interaction with other kids initially because of how awkward he was - and having any form of anxiety never helps in social situations. Talking to others wasn't something that came naturally and his own panic amplified it tenfold. Most times, he'd either pretend he didn't hear them, avoid them, or stray as far to the edge of the group as possible to avoid it. Unfortunately this made him an easy target because kids are RUTHLESS and turned him into even more outcast as well which only worsened it.

School always sucked for him due to that, despite the fact that he was a smart kid. No amount of smarts could save you from social persecution when you had nearly no social skills to boot. [ side note but I'm dying on the hill that he's incredibly intelligent and has a bachelors degree (at the very least)].

His parents kept him in therapy to help him manage because without it, he'd be back at square one refusing to go to school and faking a cold just to get out of it. And of course, therapy is a very important tool when it comes to healing, coping, and managing severe mental disorders. The whole reason why he doesn't show such bad anxiety anymore is because he kept the skills he learned and applies them so much that it becomes his second nature.

He's had at least 35 years of this, he's good enough to mask and to keep up his facade.

Another part of why he doesn't show it nearly as much is because he joined the military and was thrown through the wringer with it. Being bullied for so long was a major motivator for joining in the first place, as he needed something to get away from the peers who tormented him so and he needed a new life where he wasn't known as target #1. But he ALSO wanted to gain actual confidence and more certainty in himself.

Joining the military really means you're not left with such things as many choices when it comes to anxiety in social situations. You're forced into quarters with others, have to work side-by-side, do nearly everything together, so on and so forth. He knew that going in but at that point for him it was like extreme exposure therapy, the last step he needed to really put everything he learned in therapy to work.

That doesn't mean he didn't suffer or loved it. No, it was terrible, intense, and nerve-wracking. But he wouldn't have done it otherwise if he didn't want that. Being in the military didn't give him the leeway to avoid what made him anxious, it taught him to face it head on and fight.

Now that he's up there in age and has considerable more experience (and leeway with having a higher rank), the ways he expresses it [look at me finally answering the question] are more subtle.

On the field, you're likely not going to notice it. Because that's him turning the little auto pilot switch in his mind to on when he has a job. The job is his focus and everything has been so engrained in his mind that it's muscle memory. He's, quite frankly, focused on not dying and getting any job done over himself. The joking you often hear him do and taunting alike is part of how he's expressing the confidence he feels when he's in his element, when he KNOWS what he is doing.

If you look closely or approach him off the field, however, it's another story. He usually tenses or straightens himself out when people approach and will hold that until they leave (unless they're someone who he truly knows). Many assume that's a taught habit of the military, but that's only half-true. He did that before then.

Unlike when he's working, he doesn't have a guide or things he knows he has to do in a specific order to best ensure survival - no matter how much talking to other people feels like the heat of the battle, you can't (legally) solve it with a gun or throw a frag and book it out of there. There's no true guide to social interactions and that stresses him out. There's no manual, no field guide, no ten step card on how to successfully navigate them.

He knows things that are normal to say, he knows sometimes what he should say - it's just a matter of finding the phrasing and how to say them. Yet it seems like whenever someone doesn't follow his pre-programmed line of thought when it comes to their talking, his mind can shut down and go blank as he stares, trying to figure out where to go or what to say (spoiler: it usually doesn't end well).

He's usually awkward to talk to because he's running over everything in his head as he tries to think of what best to say to avoid further interactions or ones that could be more targeting to him. And, as mentioned, he lacks the average set of social skills that plenty learn in childhood because he didn't have that proper socialization. He's also still not the best at talking itself and can be blunt and to-the-point, which also doesn't usually go down well.

Not to mention, he's bad at small talk and has a terrible, sarcastic sense of humor that many can't read and it quickly turns things uncomfortable very fast because everyone takes him seriously. It never helps he usually doesn't explain himself all too well, usually leaving it as is as he secretly wishes he didn't talk at all when mortification sets in. Hurrying away with an excuse of some paperwork or something else to busy himself is his go-to after those.

When possible, he'll avoid small-talk and greatly prefers gestures instead. Someone who can appreciate his greater need for silence and a lack of talking is someone who he will greatly appreciate in turn. He's a firm believer that not all silences are uncomfortable and sometimes, it IS best not to say anything at all.

Due to his childhood too, he's not really fond of being around many people and will do his best to avoid it. Unless he has to grin and bare it, he won't. He finds his mind calmest when he can just be himself without having to worry about saying the right things to appease others or to be friendly. That way he can focus on what he wants, think how he wants, and feels how he wants without second guessing himself or having to worry about existing.

He's going to avoid most public settings when possible. Though he can now suitably manage his anxiety, they're something he passes up on. Grocery store trips are something he does maybe once a week or two, if that - stock piling so he has to go to the store less is his usual strategy. Anything he can do himself, he WILL do himself, if he doesn't have a trusted person who can do it better or can help.

Notably, he also doesn't have many friends. He's like talking to a brick wall and unless you're considerably persistent and understanding of his need for space, you won't get far. A lot of people don't have the time nor patience for it, but if you do get close to him, he does come out of his shell. He appreciates anyone who cares enough to actually get close to him and get to know him despite how awkward he can be, and will be loyal to the end because of that.

Another side effect is that he doesn't sleep well. Between the massive amounts of trauma from his job and the trauma from his childhood, he doesn't sleep well as is. But the social anxiety aspect comes into play because many nights, his mind is rerunning all the interactions he's had as he chronically overthinks them. He always wonders what he could've done, how he could've improved, and what they're thinking of him (even if they're someone he may never run into again). Its very hard for him to shut his mind off and doing such usually requires him drowning everything else and making himself not think about that, or anything, any more.

[Another side note: He's an avid reader. Reading gives him new things to think about and can help put him to sleep, especially before bed. It's a good way for him to stop thinking about whatever was nagging him and shifts his mind into thinking about other things he enjoys instead)

Basically, IN SHORT this isn't my full in-depth detailed characterization of exactly who I think he is - the reason he's not presenting it as an anxious ball of pure energy who is so uwu shy and soft is because he is incredibly well-managed with his severe social anxiety at his age and that's uh, just not him. Social anxiety doesn't mean he's a blubbering mess or will cry at the slightest inconvenience and reducing him to that or treating anyone with social anxiety like they're a child because of it does not help at alllll.

He's had extensive therapy for this, he's got his methods, he can mask very well. He's a WHOLE GROWN MAN who is responsible for not only his actions but how he manages his emotions and he knows it. But if you know him and know what to look for, you'll be able to pick it up.

(Also the sheer amount of scenarios I've seen where people think he just would... cry if you took his mask off??? Him???? HIM???? König, "I can make you talk, where are they?" the skilled PMC operator? That one? That guy? Yeah no, anyone dumb enough to do that better have signed their will prior or hopefully has an intensive love for scrubbing all the floors with a single old toothbrush. He won't tolerate people harassing or hustling him or pressing on his nerves. Sure, it reminds him of his childhood bullies, but quite frankly that behavior as grown adults trying that is RIDICULOUS, it pisses him off and immediately lowers his opinion on them.)

To whoever made it this far, I hope this made sense, I took melatonin before I got the ask so I'm in another realm right now LMAO. König is one of my favorites and was the first character I realllly really loved and I just hate seeing him done so dirty. Especially as someone with severe social anxiety myself, it irritates me when it's portrayed just so... wrong and quite frankly, in a lazy, offensive manner lacking any nuance especially in relation to the character who has it. Like just making him stutter and cry isn't all social anxiety is and there's SO much depth and things to work with despite the... actual substance as far as his bio goes

[miradelletarot]

Sad brain hours are stupid

Personal post alert. Just me kinda mumbling my random sad brain thoughts into the void, and hope something make sense (or at least helps me get this shit out of my head idk).

*note: this is all over the fucking place so...sorry.* My confidence is pretty low lately. I mean, it always has been honestly. I was raised to have a low self-esteem (just like my mother, who also had self-esteem issues, and projected a lot of her shit onto me). So, I have never ever really been confident. In my marriage, I can't recall a time when my husband truly made me feel sexy/desirable (unless he wanted something from me...you know what I'm talking about). Even mentally and emotionally, I'm really not that smart. I'm not witty, or quick, or brilliant in any way, and my anxiety and depression and ADHD make shit hard enough to cope with as it is. I struggled in school. Mostly an A & B student, but I had to bust my ass for those grades. Not to mention my horrible memory...I'm lucky I know basic grade school shit. I have no illusions that there is anything remotely spectacular about me. I think that's why I love supporting and helping others. Especially with tarot. It's my way of trying to help lift people up, and make them feel good about themselves, and their prospects because *someone* needs to be in your corner (general "you"). It's just easier to give my love to others, because I'd rather use my energy to celebrate the people I care about. Lately, I am really just feeling so down about my body. More than I have in a while. I think I've ignored it for so long because I was married. He stopped putting in effort and so did I. I had no one to impress anymore. But, despite him completely letting himself go (he's well over 400lbs now, and does NOT take care of himself in the slightest,) he said he was no longer attracted to me. (this will make sense in a moment...promise).

in 2018, I had a weird ass health scare that landed me in the hospital for a week, and the nurse said I nearly died of sepsis. Her words were (and I'll never fucking forget it...) "if you had waited even until tonight to come to the ER, there's a good chance you wouldn't have made it." Drs still dunno what the fuck happened to me. Ever since that happened, my thyroid went stupid (thanks again, MOTHER...) and I gained a ton of weight. I have always been on the heavier side (180lbs when I got married 16 yrs ago. I'm 5 ft tall for context). Now, I'm 243 lbs. I was 265, but I lost a lot of that stress weight after I left my husband. So, that's certainly something.

But...I just don't see the improvement. i don't feel any better. I have such a horrible relationship with exercise, and i am working so fucking much I don't even want to even though I know I should. I hate wearing makeup b/c of how it makes my face feel, and in the Florida, soul-sucking heat? I could never. But, I still have breakouts like a fucking teenager going through puberty. and my hair? fuck. i hate it. it's a poofy, frizzy mop. ALSO...fucking hell. I have had a slight lisp since i was a kid. I worked really hard to correct it b/c i was in choir and shit and my music teacher helped me with it, but recently i find that it's a lot more prominent than it used to be, and it sticks out to me SO fucking much, and i feel so insecure about it lately.

It's time's like these when something my ex said to me before i left really sticks in my head (he apologized for saying this btw, but it doesn't make the pain go away). He said "you'll never find anyone as good as me." I really want to believe he's wrong, but sometimes? It feels like he's right. Like I'll never be pretty or thin enough to be desirable to anyone. Too much depression and anxiety. Too weird. Too vulgar. Just...Too much, and oddly not enough at the same time. Even though it's only been 6 months since I left him I am fucking lonely. I won't lie, I miss having a partner (and all that entails). I'm so afraid I'll be alone forever. If I lower my standards, I'll just get some shitty asshole again. Someone just like my ex. I'm too fucking old to date around like I'm in my 20s. I'm pushing 40. I'm either going to find the man of my dreams (the Gale of my heart, a real one lol) or I'll be forever alone.

I'm in hell...and it looks like a pixelated paradise.

[fosliie]

HEYSOASYOUPROBABLYNOTICEDWHOOPS

I saw your Samantha and Maxine stuff and i was like 'hehe lesbians neat' and went through your blog and just. Like. I just wanna list some things I like about your stuff bc AUGH. I love your designs for the AU S&M, AND for your ocs these aliens and unicorns got me HOOKED. Your stories and way of writing whether it be dialogue or plot stuff is so interesting. If you wrote a novel I would have 50 thanks. Your formatting for comics and easy to understand and makes them a super enjoyable read, also the colors and stuff are nice and lovely sjxjwokfle Your style is Round but Awesome in the coolest ever way btw. You have artistic ability that few others do and I can't wait to see what you do next. Overall as a person you seem very interesting as well and your mini comic about anxiety and feelings like that was so relatable like stuff sucks sometimes, wish there was itch cream for feelings 😔 anYWAYS SORRY FOR THE WEIRD TANGENT EXPLODES I just wanted to let you know I basically love your work and you seem delightful!!! Mwah!!!!

AWE!! DUDE!!!!!

That is genuinely so sweet, thank you!! Read this early in the morning and it really made my day. I’m glad to see other people enjoy my stuff, even the non Sam and Max stuff! Always been nervous posting personal kinda stuff or ideas (side eyes whatever is going on with my sam and max au) but it makes it so worth it to see others enjoy and connect with it. I’m glad you enjoyed strolling through my jumble of a blog, appreciate it dude :]

[maskthesimp]

Okay, so I played Resident Lover

Cass' route. Duh.

[MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD SO MOVE THE FUCK ON!!]

AND I GOT THE BAD ENDING 💀 Or one of them

I assume there's a few bad endings and a few good ones for each route. I got the one where we get blood spilt on us, and she uses me as a sacrifice (or is implied to cuz the game ends when she pins me against a wall after getting that crazy look in her eye and talking about a fourth sacrifice for the ritual)

Here's the thing, though. I'm afraid of upsetting people. So, of course I ignored the fucking shadow and decided to get on with the show instead CUZ I FIGURED IF I INVESTIGATED THE SHADOW, IT'D DELAY THE SHOW AND PISS HER OFF!! BUT NO!!

TIP IF YOU WANNA GET A GOOD ENDING FOR CASS, INVESTIGATE THE DAMN SHADOW BEFORE THE PERFORMANCE!! UGH!! SORRY I THOUGHT OF YOUR FEELINGS, BABE, I DIDN'T REALISE EMPATHY FOR YOUR INTERESRS AND WELLBEING WOULD RESULT IN MY DEATH 🙄

It's fucking fine I reloaded the game and investigated, then told her what I saw and shit turned out fine and she fucked me in her dressing room >_> I'll take it but that music and the art of her going all crazy-eyed saying she was gonna basically kill me is gonna leave some trauma, babes, I'm ngl

Istg I genuinely was unsettled and freaked out over it. The music does a lot for the game, and the composer(s) did a great job at making me piss myself in fear. Made me feel genuine anxiety and fear. Also, because I couldn't do anything about it, it made it so much harder to watch. Feels like Subnautica without the water. Or sea creatures. Or space ship. Or anything except the overwhelming sense of "you fucked up" that I get when I hear the music after getting drenched in blood, or the "approaching ecological dead-zone" message. It's the same vibe that makes me wanna cry from anxiety, and I applaud any game that evokes that reaction from me.

I'll definitely play through the other routes, probably Belas mostly, and I'll try to get some other results from Cass' route. I didn't investigate the 3rd floor because it pissed her off when I did it, so I reloaded it (don't judge, I'm a people pleaser) and chose to wait for her. Idk what other endings can come from her route. I know I can reject her and stuff, but I don't wanna. That's my wife motherfucker.

I'm most interested in Bela and Cass' routes in this. I like Daniela, but she's not as interesting as I kinda hoped she'd be. I like skater girls, but for Dani, she's too chill. I like the switch in making Cass more of a momma's girl and making Bela more argumentative with Alcina. Whereas in RE8, that'd be the opposite with them.

Cass is the rash child not doing what Alcina wants, and Bela has to pick up the slack and suck up to mother (or at least that's the vibe we got from the lore). And Dani is just...Dani. She's chaos incarnate. But I like the switch of having Cass now be the one who decided to follow in her mother's footsteps, whilst Bela is apparently arguing with her so much.

Btw, I'd adore if there was a mutli-romance option. I'd fall head over heels so easy XDD speaking of, is there any way to meet Bela in Cass' route? She never showed in my playthrough outside of a name drop from her sisters. I've seen screenshots of Bela and Cass in Y/Ns dorm together, I'm not sure what route it's from.

Overall, I'd say I had a lot of fun. I liked the stakes, I liked the romance. Some character depictions could've been better, but maybe they would be if I play again and choose Dani's option during a later playthrough. Maybe I just didn't get enough of a look at her character. Will definitely play again :3

[ahomeforheadmates]

This disorder fucking SUCKS sometimes

We just went through three weeks of prolonged trauma [hurricane, got the flu (FOR THE 7TH TIME IN THE SPAN OF ONE YEAR 💞💖) and then another hurricane which this time we had to take care of a rescued squirrel with no help by adults except to try and cuddle this injured wildlife as we desperately tried to find a rescue (we did Milton is safe and happy in professional care) and take care of said adults emotions and moods]

And everyone is fucking gone what the fuck

Geniunely every single alter (minus four- including me) is in hiding right now besides this poor person- someone I don’t know- who has NEVER FRONTED BEFORE has been handling body front for DAYS and they just formed and only met dazai before we all went in hiding involuntarily from the stress

I came back about ten minutes ago, I think because fig came back in this hour and started fronting and can’t handle the anxiety and the poor new person who got shoved into front didn’t even know what was going on and didn’t know anyone but knew something was horribly wrong and had to deal with the anxiety of knowing their not supposed to be alone and not fully knowing what a system was and how it works

Oh my god imagine forming and only getting to meet one alter for like two minutes just enough to learn their name and tell you to hang in there and reeling with the effects of three weeks exposed trauma alone for days WHILE dealing with one of our hardest to work with persecutors who the whole time was trying to get them to depression spiral who also looks btw like a back rooms monster so

I still don’t know who they are, they’re passed Tf out poor guy

I only hope I can stay in front and try to fix this shit I know I’m not the best candidate but

Sorry this is almost incompressible but oh god What happened

-Kerosene 🔥🛢️

@the-tired-meatbag

Atting you to hope to catch you up friend

[corvusblackk]

favorite experience(s) with loki!!

sorry i love hearing abt him 😭😭 i wanna see like the differences between how he interacts w me n other ppl <3

love ur blog btw!! <3

I’m glad you like my blog 🦈

I still don’t have major experiences with Loki, apart from dreams, because of various reasons I will talk about now.

I always have been interested in him as a deity since I started my spiritual journey, he seemed so interesting and to be honest also fun to be around, but I wanted to get him to teach me some things.

Because of my anxiety I’ve became very serious and precautious (is that even a word-) and so scared of change. After some time I decided it was the case to start moving things, just to embrace change and not be afraid of it. And I knew that Loki would be the best to teach me that. So I reached out to him and he replied immediately, I asked for a sign and also got confirmation by a friend that works with him too, he said he was happy to start working with me (ngl i was giggling).

But then, just after that, my mental health declined so my spiritual practice was completely gone and I got detached from my deities. I only had few contact with Lucifer (as I feel like he’s my patron, but I don’t have confirmation yet). I just recently got back into my practice so I still have to experience many things with him, but he appeared a few times in my dreams and helped me with some things.

I still have to really take my practice back, but my motivation isn’t the best, I don’t even know why. I’m actually doing better because of the tons of meds I’m taking, yet my deity work sucks and I even feel ashamed to get back to the deities and say sorry again like I always did when I disappeared. Some of them understand and are completely patient, like Anubis and Hermes, but others like Lucifer and Leviathan are yeah still somewhat patient but they want me to make constant action and yk their is a tough love, but I mean of course its like that lol they’re infernals.

They all give me great advice when I talk to them, they are extremely motivating and they cheer me up, always, they really believe in me and are always there for me.

As some of the people that follow me have notice I started channeling just recently but only with my dr loved ones, so I want to try and channel my deities too. I just am kind of stuck because I feel like their presence would be too much, for example the first time I called upon Anubis I sensed an incredibly humbling and ancient energy (but extremely comforting).

Enough on rambling, I haven’t even replied to your question I’m so sorry 😭 but again I don’t have many experiences with him, I want to know yours though so if you want to tell me let me know!

[faith3231]

// NEW UPDATED PINNED POST FOR 2023/24 //

Hello people on tumblr!

Just in case if you don’t know me, the name is Faith!

I’m a 20 year old autistic woman who basically struggles with anxiety sometimes and depression. BUT I always have a safe space on loving to my fixtations like basically cute but scary stuffs for example like Pretty cure and Sonic.Exe.

Overall, I joined this media back in November 10th when people back then used to dislike this place but thankfully stopped.

I know I’m rarely active on the place now but just in case if you guys still want to know me better, feel free to for this introduction post!

(UPDATED: 8/1/24)

★INTRODUCTION:

Name: Faith

Nicknames: Rapper Faith, Lil Faith, or Mom of Hog

Current Age: 21

Born: September 8th (9/8/03)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

☆Polyamorous and Demisexual

American :(

♡Taken (Currently by 2 people)

Autistic

Favorite color: Blue and Pink

Artist and Lil bit of animator

Fandoms I’m mostly in rn currently: :0

Sonic the hedgehog

Sonic.Exe (Mostly going strong on it still lmao)

Bocchi the Rock

Pretty Cure

Studio Ghibli

Friday Night Funkin

The June Archives

The Amazing Digital Circus

Helluva Boss

Hazbin Hotel

And Godzilla

(Other old fandoms that wasn’t able to be listed on: Darkwing Duck, Ducktales, MLP, PowerPuff Girls, Pokemon, Splatoon, FNAF, Black Butler, My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Ena, and Sanrio)

MAIN PERSONA:

(NOTE! Hog belongs to Jack Gore whenever it comes to me and hog Art! + Lore of their friendship will be worked on later on)

★彡FOLLOW MY OTHER MEDIAS! :

YouTube - LilTilOne3231 (MAIN) / Faith3231 (Alt)

Tiktok - LilTilOne3231

Wattpad - LilTilOne3231

DeviantArt- Faith3231

Discord - LilTilOne3231 (Ask me if I may know you first)

Twitter (Not calling it X btw) - Faith3231 (Rapper Faith)

Other Fun Facts!

•I’ve been liking Exe stuffs ever since July of Last Year when I got introduced to Hog and Scorched.

•My first animes I saw was Lucky Star and Ponyo

•I have been interacting with voice actors before in rl (Example: Kellen Goff)

•I mostly interact with newer fans, friends, and people better on my sever so if you wanted to be friends with me on my discord sever, please do if you have the same interest as me!

(Again, social anxiety can suck tbh)

•I’m really big into Nostalgic stuffs. So if you see me ramble about the crap I like, I’m sorry-

•I’m more active on YT, Discord, or Twitter sadly but again, sorry if you see me posting reshares and Art here!

•I really dislike Loud shit sadly. This mostly includes due to my trauma from my parents divorcing and fighting. :(

•I’ve been drawing for 10 years by the time I’m making this post.

•Christmas is my favorite holiday ever/srs

•My persona does have other looks plus in the fandoms I am in.

•I rarely drawn my own Original characters so one of them will be listed later on.

•And if you have any Gifts or FanArts of me that’s related to Exe, TADC, June Archive, or anything else, please do mention or ping me to let me know! 🩵

And yeah… THAT IS MOSTLY IT.

Hope you liked this introduction pinned post and feel free to interact with me if you liked!! 🩵

(OLD PIN POST - https://faith3231.tumblr.com/post/700545129587539968/all-art-is-not-mines-and-belongs-to-its#notes )

♡

-Faith

[sparklingpax]

Hellooo tumblrrrr >:3

sorry for the inactivity, but I'm finally on winter break now!! Sharing some of my favorite works from this semester <33

These are mixed from 2 of my studio classes (6-hour classes btw lmfao 🪦✨), Painting & Drawing. Since it's a foundational year, work is primarily traditonal. I can also answer questions ab materials/dimensions/etc if you have any!! :3

Ok incoming unedited vague and yet specific ramble about my feelings and experience 😳

Art school is everything I hoped for...idk if y'all remember cause I've had this acc since sophomore year, but I was conflicted about college even then cause of how people made the experience sound horrible and not worth it. Especially artists. I was nervous applying, I didn't think my work was even vaguely good and yet I got into my top choice school. Further, I found very quickly that this experience is in fact crucial to me personally as well as artistically. It's very challenging but in a way that makes my soul feel like I have purpose. I fucked my sleep schedule SO bad this year (😭) and my diet has gone to shit (purely my own irresposibility, don't freaking do what I did there's always better ways).

The feeling of accomplishment in work I spend full days and nights on, as well as how it feels to be in a space with the kindest and also fellow like-minded artists, is unmatched to anything I've experienced in my life. I've used materials and made progress I long ago swore off never touching because "I could never"

I wasn't happy in high school, despite what people said about how I'd miss it when college starts, how I'd hate college, how everything sucks now blah blah blah. Nope. Maybe they loved the experience, their friend groups, the feeling of not being the only person going down their career path (my school was small, I am the only person who graduated going to art school. It was hell during the application process, being told left and right I'm doing it wrong and I shouldn't bank on being an artist anyway. I learned that year the value of ignoring people fr).

OH NOT HAVING TO TAKE MATH, SCIENCE, ETC......IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG AGHHHH 😭✨✨ The feeling of anxiety and worthlessness over not understanding or doing well in those subject areas while also knowing it's not important in the bigger picture but still feeling horrible over them....being gone....knowing I can put my whole mind and heart into creating now...sobbbbbb it's amazing

Right now, I'm feeling good about everything, even with the many ups and downs during the semester--ultimately, I'm where I wanna be now, and I'm kinda hype for the next semester 🥰 idk if my opinion counts or if this will reach any people who are in my previous situations, if this is encouraging at all but maybe perhaps it will?? And if it does then I'm glad 🫡

In conclusion, uh. I'm being my usual overdramatic and wordy self, but first semester was slay and I'm so deeply grateful I'm an artist and that I am in my current situation. ART SCHOOL FUN RAAAAA

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

this is another "post that was in the tags of another post but the tags got too long so now its its own post" post

so i saw another post abt saying "thank you" instead of "sorry" and i remembered how i first saw someone giving that advice a long time ago and it made me realize how much ive incorporated it into my speech since and how helpful its been. like ive heard this advice get dunked on a bit since then but it rly is so much better for both parties. like ive heard it helps some people unlearn shame about their own harmless actions but even besides that its made so many conversations so much easier for me. saying 'i appreicate u being patient btw ik i tend to ramble/get excited' or something is sm better than 'sorry i talk sm' cuz the latter might make the person feel obligated to reassure u at best but the former makes the other person feel like they r a good friend for listening to u. and ofc other ppl have said this before but i just kind of wanted to share the ways its been useful for me.

whenever i suddenly realize that ive lost a bit of self awareness and control when rambling thanking the other person for listening/being patient while i get to my point is gen sm more helpful. like even besides the fact that theres no point in apologizing for something ultimately harmless that ive always done and am never gonna be able to stop from happening sometimes it lets u jus kinda keep talking seemlessly too. like if u say sorry an they're nice theyll prob stop and reassure u, which sucks bcz if you were just enthusiastically rambling abt something u probably dont want the conversation to suddenly turn into a conversation about the way you tend to ramble. assuming the other person is willing/would like you to continue and you're not done you probably just wanna stop and be considerate of the other person for listening real quick before continuing, and thats why an thank you allows the conversation to continue much more smoothly than an apology.

an ofc it applies to other situations too if u feel the instinct to offset shame to combat ur social anxiety this gives u an alternative to apologizing, which other people have talked abt but theres a lot of unspoken communication that happens in an apology vs a thank you that most people arent even aware is happening. like i started saying 'thanks for hanging out w me i had fun!' after outings an ppl always seem to respond well and it kind of helps to offset my anxiety abt if a social outing went well. like thinking "what if i committed a major faux pas and everyone knows abt it but me" sucks because there isnt a way to address those feelings directly without basically accusing the other person of secretly being mad at you, but what you can do is acknowledge as far as you're concerned, the social interaction went well (not to mention if the other person is having the same anxieties you are this can be helpful to them to). like well at least they know i had a good time an enjoy/appreciate their company thats all i can do. i did my best to be kind and respectful and if i did something wrong and they aren't telling me i simply cannot account for their feelings. however they felt/feel abt it is out of my hands.

anyway i might edit this post later cuz i gotta go to work i just had to get this out real quick hopefully this is helpful to some ppl :)

[taylortruther]

‘When she was doing better she resented our concerns about her mental health and the fact that we had been there during a very vulnerable time in her life’ this describes my dynamic with my ex-best friend who I was completely obsessed with so well. we were so close for years and often talked about mental health (tbf we were babies then) until things got really bad during covid. we were there for each other, and we would sometimes share things that most people would be ashamed to even think of. when she got better, she became a lot more cagey about her feelings towards the people we talked about a lot when we were doing really badly (mostly our dads really), and I do think that fed into her decision to slowly distance herself from me. i really do think she didn’t want to be that vulnerable with anyone at all. the thing is, i ended up getting worse after initially getting better. we had been growing apart for a year by that point but kind of promised each other to put more effort in after we went a month without texting that summer. when I came back to school in the fall, i was visibly very sick, and she suddenly hated me? i don’t think it’s just because of the way i looked (there was some jealousy with like, doing well in class or whatever, but that hadn’t been an issue in previous years at all), but I swear it played a part. she suddenly couldn’t stand to spend time with me, seemingly got mad if i made conversation, and would openly laugh and rejoice if i made a mistake in class. it was so confusing and hurtful. her resentment eventually stopped but our relationship never recovered. I wonder if seeing me like that reminded her of her lowest times (since our rough patches coincided, even though our issues were different - hers was depression and anxiety / perhaps some other stuff she never got formally diagnosed with, mine was pretty severe anorexia, which she never asked about after the first summer when it started and went ‘is that STILL a thing???’ when i said I couldn’t have something a few months before i lost a lot of weight again), and that was why she avoided me subconsciously? was she scared i would pull her in? I literally never had that issue with any other friends btw so I’m not like that at all 😭 I grieved it for so long, especially because we never had a blowup fight or anything. resentment just built up until we fizzled out. we went from arguably the closest people in each other’s lives to… acquaintances, basically. ugh it sucks. i wish I could hear her side of things and get closure because I genuinely don’t know what I did wrong (this is a pattern for her, but i digress).

ahhh bestie this hurts my heart for you. i won't act like i know for sure what was going through her mind - sometimes you form really intense bonds with friends that end up blowing up for a host of reasons. maybe she couldn't be communicative and was pissed you couldn't pick up on her impossibly subtle "hints," maybe she was too immature and insecure to admit something to you, maybe she felt threatened that you knew her vulnerabilities and felt she had to push you away and be mean to you to ensure she had power/control over the situation... but i am sorry you went through it and i hope you are doing okay.

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[sunny6677]

THE AUDIO LOGS OF ANDREW HUDSON.

SUMMARY: The following are real audio tapes of tapes left by an animator at the forgotten studio Joey Drew Studios. Please ensure that you are ready to listen with these with caution, dear listener. What you may hear may cause you to never want to hear again. What you may picture may make you never want to see again. Please be aware of the consequences you may have if you do not have permission to listen to these tapes. If not permitted, then [REDACTED]. You have been warned.

(This is fiction btw, so no worries-- I know some people with anxiety issues might think this is real so this is just a clarification.)

TW FOR CHAPTER/TAPE: NONE.

TW FOR SERIES: MANIPULATION, TRANSFORMATION, UNHEALTHY MINDSET, OBSESSIONS, CULTS, CULT MENTIONS, MURDER, IMPLIED SEXUAL TRAUMA, OUTBURSTS, DRUGS.

--------------------------------

TAPE #15

THE VOICE OF SAMMY LAWRENCE & ANDREW HUDSON.

1933, DAY UNKNOWN.

------------------------------

[30 SECONDS OF COMPLETE SILENCE. SAMMY IS HEARD SIGHING, BUT HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME.]

A: "Hey, Sammy!"

S: "Agh!"

A: "Ah, sorry— didn't mean to scare ya, pal. Shit, that's a large violin ya got there! Ya playin' that song from earlier?"

S: [SIGHS] "I was trying to come up with a completely different song since Joey didn't like the one from earlier, but since you rudely interrupted me—"

A: "Joey didn't like it? Gee, he must be real tired if he didn't like that good of a song."

S: "No, he's not tired, he just didn't like the song. And now, I have to start all over again."

A: "Oh damn— that sucks, ya gonna be okay? Sounds real frustrating to have to start all over again."

S: "Yes, I'll be fine. Now if you don't mind, I am going to get back to making this song. So I would suggest getting the hell out of here."

A: "Eh? But why? I wanna hear what ya have so far, 'specially considerin' your the head musician 'ere! Go on, play what ya have so far. I'd like to hear."

S: "...why? You gain nothing from hearing it."

A: "Yeah, but I gain the awesome memory of hearing cool as fuck music from the one and only Sammy Lawrence himself. So come on, play it!"

S: "...fine. If it'll make you leave."

A: "Hell yeah!"

[SOFT VIOLIN MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY IN THE TUNE OF THE SONG THAT IS KNOWN AS "ANGELIC MELODIES". THERE IS NO TALKING FOR HOW LONG IT LASTS(WHICH IS ABOUT A GOOD MINUTE).]

S: "This.. is all I have right now. I'm trying to find a good way to continue it so if you could please.. why— where did that violin come from?"

A: "You, uh.. had it in the corner, so.. do.. do you wanna continue the song or not?"

S: "I.. I didn't even know you could play violin."

A: "Eh, barely.. I only slightly remember the musical lessons I had when I still went to school. Anyway, do you wanna continue the song or nah?"

S: "...maybe this will get him to finally leave."

A: "Huh?"

S: "N— Nothing, i... fine, I guess you can continue the song with me if that will make you happy."

A: "Hell yeah, now, hm..."

[A VIOLIN PLAYS AGAIN, BUT IN A SLIGHTLY HIGHER PITCH THAN THE ONE BEFORE. A SECOND VIOLIN PLAYING A DEEPER MELODY JOINS IN. THIS CONTINUES, UNTIL THE MUSIC BRIEFLY STOPS.]

A: "...maybe this should be the part Susie comes in."

S: "Yeah, sure.."

[THE VIOLINS BEGIN TO PLAY DIFFERENT NOTES, BUT SLOWLY PACED. THIS CONTINUES ON FOR A GOOD 2 MINUTES, BEFORE IT STOPS.]

A: "Woo, hell yeah! Maybe you should write that shit down on your little music thingy, that sounded hella awesome!"

S: "Yeah, yeah.. why did you decide to become an animator if you could play violin?"

A: "Huh?.. Well, just cuz I'm good at something doesn't mean I should like it. I've always found myself drawn to animation more, as much as I do like music, I'd rather draw since it's easier and I can focus better. Anyway, ya wanted me to leave, right?"

S: "..yes, I suppose so."

A: "Alright, well, see ya then! Can't wait to hear Susie sing this shit!"

[FOOTSTEPS WALK AWAY FROM THE TAPE, AND THE DOOR CLOSES.]

S: "...God, what just happened?.. Oh well, at least he's finally gone. You can finally continue your work now, Sammy.. but.. the notes he played did sound good as well.. no— no, what am I thinking? This is my work, not his.. he doesn't decide what I put in the song or not."

---------------------------------

NOTES: ANDREW COULD APPARENTLY PLAY THE VIOLIN AS WELL. ANDREWS WORDS ALSO IMPLIED THAT HE USED TO GO TO A SCHOOL BEFORE HE WENT TO THE ORPHANAGE. THE RESEARCHERS ARE INVESTIGATING HIS WORDS THOROUGHLY.

[doraambrose]

Sorry for the personal question and you don't have answer obviously but. I have a generalized anxiety disorder too and I wanted to ask if you have any tips on how to deal with that? Sometimes, it's hard to leave my house, let alone do something fun with other people if the activity "seems" too dangerous. I get half a heart attack if I have to take public transport to any place I'm unfamiliar with. Just recently I was in a crowd of people with a friend and I almost left them standing there just after arriving bc it was just too stressful. I guess it got a little better lately but it still sucks. I'm kind of just pushing through my day right now, and if it could get easier, that would be pretty great.

(Your takes on Jason are awesome, btw)

Hello! Thank you for the ask!

I had a similar problem for a while. One thing about mental health is everyone is different. For me, medication was the best course of action. I started on zoloft and now im on lexapro everyday and hydroxyzine that I take as needed, but I don't take it often because it makes me sleepy. I also see a mental health counselor once a week. I found that expressing all my feelings and thoughts helps me calm down. When I get super anxious at work, I straight up tell my boss I'm feeling anxious and then we talk through it. I also found that since I started taking Vyvanse for add, I've been more extroverted and I feel like myself again. I guess my advice is to try different things that make you feel good, talk to your doctor or a therapist/mental health counselor, whoever. Hope this helps!

And thanks! I'm glad my takes on Jason todd are good!

[kiindr]

This might be long am sorry for that.

I just come across your blog btw and I'm so thankful for that because my life have become a joke for others and I really wanted to rant about it to someone who could give me a better advice because neither my family nor friend a fuck about what I go through every day and can't keep acting strong when I'm clearly very sensitive person.

So I went out today with 3 of my friend I'll call them J,T and R. So J and me are sophomore in the same college but the thing is we aren't very close because she's an extrovert and she would kinda think of my mental health as a joke along with R, who's also an extrovert. R and T study in different city so after 4 months they finally got back here and we thought to hangout and all but R and J both of them invited their guy friends and I'm usually not someone who get comfortable around new people but I was comfortable today and I was really proud for that and it's actually rare that I'm talking alot because I have social anxiety and body image issue and I feel uncomfortable getting attention when i talk but today J's word really hurt me because she said I'm talking alot today and her tone was making me feel like attention seeker I try to clarify it jokingly that I've like this for a while and she continue disagreeing but my friend T who I will consider the bestest out of them because she knows how it feel.

I've been so quite for so many years about this thing that J and R always point out about me,which make me feel insecure and knowing that they both talk behind my back is honestly very sad for me, because then it makes me want to talk behind them aswell I never point out their flaws why do they have to make fun about my anxiety.

And at home my father call me lazy for isolating myself,which is so not true because I do most of the house chores despite my studies it really hurt me. I may not cry but I feel this fear of being abandoned because they don't like my introvert behaviour,I just don't wanna change for other I want them to understand not everyone is same. I have hard time getting along with new people,I like being alone in my room I don't even know if I'm depress sometimes because I don't like being alone when I'm outside my house. Even buying myself something alone in shop gives me anxiety and I start sweating.

I don't even know what I'm saying but I felt and I actually cried a little while writing this but I felt a little good.

first of all, big hugs <3 i am so proud of you for opening up to me and talking about what bothers you. it is not easy at all and i really appreciate you for the initiative that you've shown.

secondly, i regret to let you know that i cannot offer you any advice. you are the expert on your life and your situation, so you know what is best for you. i can only offer you space to talk and an empathetic listening ear <3

moving on,

i'd like to tell you that i see you. i hear you. your struggle is very real. anxiety is very real. it is not easy to tread through each day being apprehensive and struggling to find calm. as you mentioned, it makes it really tough for you to do everyday tasks like talking to others and shopping. but you carry on nonetheless and display remarkable resilience. you're a star for that :) even if no one else does, i appreciate and applaud your efforts. you're so strong and i am really proud of you.

it must feel really heartbreaking to receive such treatment from your friends. you deserve people who value you and respect your boundaries. you deserve to have friends who make space for you and make you feel safe, not call you out for things that you struggle with.

as for your father, it really sucks that he says stuff like that to you. it is soooooo difficult to manage academics and household chores together. i see your efforts and your struggle.

it is not a flaw to be an introvert. it is not an issue if you do not want to interact with people as often as extroverts do. we all have different thresholds. and that's fine. more than fine. you are enough as an introvert.

yes of course, social anxiety is a struggle and we'd all like to do away with it. but it's not that easy. i know that you know that. i hope you're able to find better social support. i hope you're able to access the help that you need.

please do not hesitate to contact a qualified mental health professional for issues like anxiety and depression. there's a lot of help available. life doesn't have to suck this much :)

if you'd like i can connect you to an awesome and affordable therapist and you can try them!

please take care of yourself. you're really precious and amazing <3

feel free to vent again in my askbox when you need to! i hope it gets better for you soon!

[pixelkip]

Hey it's an anxietyposting night bc being alone with my thoughts sucks ass . Sorry in advance . Vent warning for what's under the cut

Today in the evil brain chemicals: getting really really paranoid about some shit u engaged in like a year ago bc you were In Too Deep with either terminal brainrot or an uncomfortable social situation and now that u think about it now it makes u just a lil bit uncomfortable or feels a lil bit wrong and your anxiety doesn't know whether this is completely unimportant or a Major Fucking Deal that you need to sort out or else you're a horrible disgusting person and you really wanna come to some kinda conclusion about how you actually feel about it so your brain will just be quiet for once but . The anxiety says no you must panic about it and never forgive yourself for the slightest possibility of having done something wrong until you either scream about it to someone or simply explode. This post is me doing the 2nd option btw. Actually kinda both but whatever . And I wanna tell my brain hey maybe the fact I'm thinking on these things again and my thoughts about it are changing means I've grown as a person but my brain goes LALALALLALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU OVER HOW HORRIBLE AND GUILTY YOU ARE.

my anxiety will not understand the concept of "you can make a bad choice or do something wrong and that doesnt mean youre a horrible irredeemable person bc no one is perfect" specifically for myself. Even when I've been told by both a therapist and my own parents that I'm emotionally kinda behind for my age so of fucking course I'm gonna look at shit I did or got involved in and go hm I don't like that. Maybe being online so much or something is making me more paranoid about ever doing anything wrong, maybe it's just making me think about it more, idfk. Maybe none of this makes any sense but I just don't wanna be entirely alone with my stupid thoughts rn. Wow this was not supposed to get this long oh well