#SOMEONE WAKE ME UP FROM THE WEIRDNESS THAT IS THIS BOOK I feel like Im dreaming it on a bad acid trip or something

[hussyknee]

Holy shit the last Imriel book is so bad it's actually heartbreaking. It doesn't even read like Jacqueline Carey wrote it. Was she replaced by a ghost writer? A pod person?

I cannot overstate how unbelievably bad this book is. It feels like some kind of really bad prank. It's a bad fanfic inspired by a cartoon that has characters sharing the same names as the rest of the series. It's worse than what happened to the later Discworld novels after Terry Pratchett's Alzheimer's really started setting in. At least we can just not count those last novels as part of the real Discworld canon. But Imriel's real story just going to stay unfinished forever.

At least parts of the first half was okay. And the showdown between Imriel and Astegal deserved a better story. Idk man what the fuck. I loved this boy so much. We really can't have anything.

[babybatlover]

Hiii can I please get either a Damian or Rhea piss k!nk smut please! Like Rhea or Damian find out about readers k!nk and decide to put it to the test and like to tease them about it? Ty!!!💜💜

MDNI !!! Read this and ill call your mother.

warnings: piss. Smut. 👍🏻

Its been a long day. Like a long day and well.. you ended up dozing off while journaling. Damian walks in to see you asleep, journal open on your thighs. Being the curious little shit he is, he sees no harm in taking a peak. “What do we have here?” He says as he picks up your personal book.  He decieds that he should only read todays page so he isnt /too/ intrusive. ‘I dont know what to do. I’ve wanted to talk to him about it for awhile but i feel like it would be weird. Like how do i even bring it up?’ He reads. “Bring up what” he whispers. And eventully he is sent on finding out what “it” was. And that meant flipping through DAYS of pages and then he finds… it. it just happens to be ‘I want to piss on him while he fucks me dumb’. Damian thinks to himself “ok… saving that info for later” and a smirk crawls onto his face. You see he knows about your kinda weak bladder. And that sometimes during sex you have to pause so you can go pee. So he damn sure will use his newfound knowledge as soon as he gets the chance

~next morning~

You wake up in the arms of your big teddy bear of a boyfriend. “Mmmhf” you whine, the room was so bright. “Hey lovebug”. You giggle “hey dame”. Ever since last night all he can think about is a few fatefull words, ‘Piss on him’. And now he wants to make his move. “Your so pretty baby.” He whispers. Fluster you respond with “oh uh thank you sir,”. “Oh calling me sir this early? My baby all horny and its not even 10 am?” He smirks. “I wasnt til you said that” you shoot back. “Watch your mouth or ill have to fuck the attitude out of you”. You chuckle “what if thats what i want?”. “Then ask, tell me what you need.”  “I uh- i need you” you stutter out.  “you have me” he retorts. “No i uh need you inside like want you to fuck me” you blush. “Get shy already? Aw how ‘bout we get these clothes off and i can take care of my horny love”. You peel off your shirt (its actully his shirt but who cares) and your sleep shorts, “im ready dame,” “honey dont rush it, dont you want to get eaten out or fingered or something first?” He asks with genuine curiosity. “No just want your cock sir,”. “Ok if you insist,” he reaches around in the bedside drawer, he grabs the lube and holds up a condom and you shake your head. “Oh you want it raw love?” He knows the answer but god does he tease. “Yeah wanna feel all of you”. He hisses at the cold lube as he puts a few cold drops on his cock and work it on himself. “Ready?” “Yes sir” you feel him slip inside you and suddenly you have the need to pee. “Wait!” You shout “gotta pee”, damian smirks “that out just do it on me baby. Just let go as i fuck you”

“You sure?” You whisper. He leans in close and whispers “baby i know your fantasies, i know you desires, im sure” you whisper “okay”. He slides himself in and you wince slightly, hes just so big. He starts thrusting into at a soft pace, soft ‘oh’s and ‘nmph’ fall from your lips. “Feel good baby?” He asks with a cocky smily “ahhh oh yeah so good, i need to go dame i need to pee- oh!” He chuckles “do it baby, get me all wet” and with that you let go, spraying his stomach and your thighs. “Oh fuck! Can i - mhhh- can i come?” He chuckles “yeah baby come for me” and with that you come spraying him yet again and have probably the most intense orgasms of your life. As you come down from your high you feel damien spill inside you. He pants onto of you and slowly pulls out. “Shower baby?” “Yeah can you come with me?” You ask shyly. “Of course my love” 

And after that anytime someone mentions a piss kink he defends it. Because only he and judgement day can tease you about that. Because you are his.

And he is yours.

Forever.

[jaidens]

Hey, I Knew l'd Run Into You Somewhere It's Been A While, Didn't Mean To Stare

pairing [s] : spencer reid x reader

warning [s] : | hugging | im crying | im in love with him | childhood friends to lovers (aka my fav trope and I overuse itt) |

a/n [s] : requests are open.

Your field in Los Angeles, California was needed in Quantico, Virginia. It wasn't extremely typical, but whenever different parts of the FBI calls, you go. The plane ride was relaxing as you covered all sides of the case with your team and stayed on call with the Technical Analyst, Penelope Garcia. You were reading through Pride & Prejudice for the fourth time, as your team counted. Your team member Angela sits down, crossing one of her legs over the other.

“You seem occupied. Something happened?” Angela asks quietly, raising her eyebrow and clasping her fingers together. You look at her and nod, picking at the skin around your fingernails. “Yeah, this case just gets to me. No matter how long I've been in the field, it'll always scratch me the wrong way.” The case made everyone feel weird. The case included children and a series of kidnapping only taking Mother's and their young sons.

“Are you sure it's just that? I've known you for ten years. I know how you get when a case hurts and when something else is happening.” Angela calls you out and, painfully, she is one-hundred percent correct. “Yeah, you caught me. Just, I used to know someone who used to be my absolute best friend, and he moved to Quantico the last time I checked.” Angela opens her mouth to show her understanding and surprise about the situation.

“Well, let's remember, we have to keep our heads on the case. It's important that we find the leads instead of pulling other ropes to lead other situations.” Angela taps your hand and walks away, you smile at her softly before you go back to Jane Austen’s writing. Eventually, you fall asleep with your book laid against your chest.

You wake up at the sound of your ears popping and the plane landing against the Virginia airport grounds. You stand up and gather your things, picking up the bag you were gifted for your twelfth birthday, a leather satchel with clasps. It was from Spencer after you mentioned how you thought his satchel was cute.

Spencer is sitting across from you on the playground, reading through the science book you were given today by Mrs. Handerburry for seventh-grade science. Spencer was in eighth-grade but was only a month older than you. “This is what you have to read for Genetics. Did you know that humans are more than 99% identical in our genetic makeup? The one percent is still being researched, but it's said that it holds cures for diseases.”

You smile at Spencer, the lanky, finally hitting puberty with his hair behind his ears and thick glasses on his nose as he excitedly explains genetics to you. He's been your best friend since forever, with his awkwardness and long bones. People picked on you surely for being friends with him, or even relating yourself to him, but you didn't care. “Oh wow. Maybe someone in this world has the cure for everything, like something magical.”

Spencer laughs at you but continues explaining the theory of Genetics and giving you fun facts during it. However, as much as you try and understand him, you're staring at him and he makes your belly feel like there's butterflies. Like how it feels before the first day of school and staring at the double doors to walk in. He stops for a second, taking a moment to breathe, and you lean in and kiss his lips before pulling away.

Spencer is a blushing flustered mess as you scramble out some words to explain why you did that. “I don't even know why I—” Spencer kisses you again, a little longer than last time but he quickly pulls away. “It’s okay.” Spencer tells you and that's all you need before you lay your head on his shoulder and let him read out the boring science book, in which, you were definitely not listening to.

You're pulled out of the memory whenever one of the security guards is taking your stuff and letting you walk into the Quantico headquarters. It's much nicer than yours, with things actually furnaced off. Angela takes your arm and shows you the way around to the meeting room. You take a breath in and walk into the room, recognizing the Technical Analyst and SSA Aaron Hotchner from an old case you ran by with him.

He's introducing your team to his team and you're staring at the screen at the pictures from the incidents. “— And finally, this is Agent L/N, an expert in the children's abduction cases.” Penelope shakes your hand and gives you a huge smile and you smile back at her before she goes to the screen to explain more of the case. You stand behind the table and listen intently to Miss. Garcia. “Are the children getting abducted before or after the Mother's? Maybe our unsub wants to torture the mothers before. Losing children can be extremely heartbreaking for the mothers, giving the unsub to tell her to ‘come to save her child’.

“It wouldn't explain the covering of the bodies with baby blankets. It shows remorse.” Angela says to everyone, ending with nods and other people agreeing. “Well, we'll figure it out. Wheels up in 30.” Agent Hotchner says and walks out of the room. You're talking with Angela gently about a different topic, while you sip on a coffee. “I think we should go ahead and get ready. We have 25 minutes until we have to leave.. do you have your stuff? Your suitcase and bag?” You nod at her and follow her out of the room.

The plane is getting ready, and it is much larger than any jet the FBI had provided for you. You step onto the steps, walking up and Angela follows behind. You stare back at the seats and see an empty one and you walk towards and sit down, setting your stuff to the side of you and pulling out Pride & Prejudice and immediately stuck your nose in it.

You see a mop of brown hair above your book, staring at you. You pull the book down, and you recognize his face immediately. “Spencer..?” His name falls from your lips like a prayer and you smile widely. He sits down as he grips onto his leather satchel, the same one that matches yours. You can see the patch still sewed into one of the straps that you did in tenth grade.

“Y/N, you know I'm leaving tomorrow.” Spencer sighs as he lays in bed next to you. You're in tenth grade and you've grown up since that day in seventh, the day you kissed him. Your face is different and your eyes have grown up as well as Spencer stares into them. “Give me your bag.” You command quietly as you wipe the tears from your eyes, and you pull out your sewing kit from your drawer. You had bought a patch off the Internet, it was a picture of you and Spencer on it.

You pull out the needle and thread and begin weaving it through the fabric and sewing it on. “Oh.. it's our picture.” The ‘our’ makes you smile and you look up at him. “Yeah, I think it'll remind you of me when you get big one day. When you're up on the board with Einstein and Tesla.” Spencer laughs and sits his head on your shoulder. He's watching you sew and telling you to be careful to not poke yourself.

Spencer eventually falls asleep and is gently snoring against you, his head stuck between your head and your shoulder. “Spence— hey Spence, c'mon wake up.” You giggle when he wakes up with a small shout and a sleepy smile. “I’m awake, I'm awake.” You hand him his bag, the patch sewed on and a smile on your face. Spencer is in love— and the person he's in love with is leaving until he's done with his PHD and his Doctorate, so years.

He takes his bag with a big smile on his face, but the tears welling in his eyes tell you a different story. “We’ll find each other. We always do, Smart boy.”

“I knew I'd find you. I tried to call, but nothing was working.” Spencer tells you shaking his head. You smile at him and scoot over to be right next to him. “I got a new phone, which also means a new number. Welcome to the new age.” You laughed with Spencer as you stared into his eyes again. Those butterflies you felt in seventh-grade suddenly came out of their cocoon and were flying around once more.

“I missed you, a lot. You're working in the child abduction unit now? That's pretty cool.” Spencer stares into your eyes, and the nostalgia sits inside of them. “I missed you too, and the unit had been missing someone I had a degree in and studied, so I took it.” Spencer lets out that smile that can make anyone smile, where his top teeth are showing proudly.

“You grew up, huh? You definitely still got that boyish look I love.” You teased and his cheeks turned a shade of crimson. “And your crazy hair.” You add and he laughs. You can't help but hug him in your arms, and that spark you felt so many years ago lights once more. “God, I missed you.” Is all you can let out as he practically lies against you with his head in your shoulder.

Spencer is in a blue, 80s styled suit and you have your prom dress styled in the 80s fashion as well. He was allowed to go to prom, even if he was 15 years old in Senior Year. “Bet we look like fools.” You say during the slow dance, only swaying gently to the Frank Sinatra that fills the gymnasium. He's smiling at you with his eyes staring into yours. “Definitely, totally. Look at your hair, you look like Farrah Fawcett.” Spencer teases back at you and you lay your head against his chest. Spencer had grown to 6'1, towering over most other people.

You're laying against his chest as you listen to Spencer's heartbeat. “I always loved Frank Sinatra. My mom bought me a walkman when I was five and I listened to Watertown until the tape broke.” You laugh gently at the thought, and you're singing along to the jazz until it ends. The DJ starts yelling about ‘getting the party started!’.

“Do you wanna sneak out with me?” Spencer asked with a mischievous smirk on his face and you nodded at him and he pulled you through the crowd. “Always!”

You see the stares from you and Spencer’s team as you laugh with him. He tells his dumb science and math jokes and you laugh at him as you tell him old stories from your younger years. A tall, built man walks up to you and Spencer and flashes a smile at you. “Hey Pretty Boy, find yourself a girlfriend?” He sits down and shakes Spencer's shoulders and shakes out his moppy hair.

“Y/N, this is Agent Derek Morgan. Derek this is Y/N, my best friend since childhood.” Spencer introduces and you shake Derek's hand and flash your own smile. “How long have you known Spencer?” Morgans asks, sitting down in the seat next to yours and Spencer's. “Twenty years now? We met whenever we were ten years old.” Derek opens his mouth in surprise, and slaps his hand on Spencer's shoulders again.

“We’ll talk later L/N.” Derek tells you, pointing his finger at you before walking away. Spencer circles next to his ear and points at Derek, showing that he thinks he's crazy for acting like it. You laugh once more and hold his hand in yours. “I can't believe you're so, up on the board with Einstein now and Tesla.” Spencer nods. “Its the 180 iQ and my three PhDs probably.”

Now, you're the one surprised. “Three?” He nods and you sit up. “That’s amazing, Spencer. I knew you'd get far, ever since middle school when you read through my science book; four times.” He smiles and you laugh at his weird look in his eyes. “I’m tired and I'm gonna sleep until we get there.” You tell him and lean back on the plush, beige seats.

Spencer's hand goes to your calf, running his fingers up and down or pretending to run down your bent leg. It's peaceful and calm, and it's everything he's missed. Derek wiggles his eyebrows at him and Spencer sticks out his tongue childishly. He would ask you about what he was thinking eventually in the hotel room, and he was praying for the answer he wanted. For you to take him back, like you did in his younger years.

[lavalais76]

Jon & Sansa | Winter in my Heart

I am simply obsessed with these 2. All the Metas and Fan Fiction from you beautiful kindred souls makes me feel so alive! I appreciate each and everyone of you. @istumpysk and @esther-dot @starwarsprincess1986 @sherlokiness @stormcloudrising , you guys give me LIFE with your Metas.

I'm more of a book fan because the show did these characters no justice. We all know WHY. I hope you guys are ok with me posting all these sappy videos. Im sort of new to Tumblr, and I love it here. When I heard about the Kit and Sofie movie set at the time of "war of the roses" I became even more obsessed with Jon and Sansa.

They are obviously giving it away with this movie and trying to get the "Anti's" to get comfortable with the fact that these 2 are inevitable. Before Sansa appeared at Castle Black and even before the show begin I always wondered what the deal was with these 2. It just didn't make any sense, or as someone else put it: "Jon and Sansa are the LOUDEST SILENCE". I ALWAYS had that feeling that the girl in grey would be her. There isn't a single doubt in my mind.

I think something horrible will go down in the Vale and the Blackfish will help Sansa some sort of way to get to Jon. I read many Metas where they say Jon will come back from the dead a mindless beast, and he will have no POV. That's just impossible. Our main character/HERO a mute stuck in a wolf.

First of all I don't think Jon is dead AT ALL. I believe he is hanging on by a string due to blood loss and shock and possibly in a coma like Bran was at the beginning of the series. He will warg Ghost and find out many things about himself through Ghost while his friends (the wildings) nurse him back to life. Though VAL is not one of my favorite characters, some say she is a healer. That could be good for Jon.

Melsandra will probably burn Shrinee anyway because she thinks Stannis is dead. I also think Jon was drugged before the stabbings. The way he spoke of clumsily trying to retrieve LongClaw, and he just gave me a weird vibe. I DO NOT TRUST Satin guys. I know everyone loves him but if Jon were drugged, Satin always provided the drinks. Maybe I'm reaching too far, but that's just my gut feeling. Satin is Judas.

Cerci Lannister had plans on taking Jon off the Chess Board as well, so there is no telling if she orchestrated the whole thing or not. Whatever happens, it's gonna be real UGLY when Jon wakes up. Jon Snow as we knew him is definitely DEAD and died in the snow. The real BEAST is what we will have left of Jon. He will make the Hound look like a little poodle dog.

I do also believe he will be in those woods as Ghost while Sansa is being chased by Ramsay's hounds. He will definitely kill them all including whomever is with the dogs. There was a passage in the books if I remember correctly how when Ghost was a pup, and he was eating. A dog approached to try and steal his prize. Jon said the Dog was much bigger than Ghost, but all Ghost had to do was look at her and she ran away. Ghost got right back to his prize.

I've always wondered if that was a foreshadowing for Ghost fighting the hounds. Another thing, WHERE do Ghost go when Jon wonders of his whereabouts? Well, I'm almost done here Jonsa family. I hope I'm not boring you guys to death with this long book of a post I am writing.

I DO believe Sansa is the Girl in Grey and I'll die by that. I also think that after Ghost!Jon saves her, Brianne and Jamie or Brianne and Company will get her to Castle Black. The dying horse in my opinion is not a real Horse. It could be a person. We've already had the real dying horse with Alyas. Sansa doesn't have to be dressed in Grey either because so many other things links her to Grey.

I remember she had a green cloak in Kings Landing that belonged to the hound and if I'm not mistaken she also got on the boat with LF with that cloak on. Where is it? I do not know.

Anyway, Sansa will arrive at Castle Black shortly after Jon wakes up from his coma (refuse to believe he died and actual death) People will SAY he rose from the dead as they did Sansa when she left Kings Landing. It will be a myth, but people will believe it. Jon will NOT be the same. I believe he will have all of his memories which preserved in Ghost but he will become "THE BEAST" After he has "killed the boy." He would have tapped into his powers and possibly converse with Bran and Bloodraven.

Jon will probably forget what happened in the woods and in his wolf dreams but he will have the shock of his life to see Sansa Stark of ALL people come through those gates. She's come to the end of the world to seek HIM out. He will realize it was the wrong sister he almost got murdered behind.

Everyone will fear him at Castle Black. He will be a cold blooded killer with no humanity left until she walks through those gates. It's a craving Jon had (to see her again) but he kept that to himself. We know this from Ygritte, Alays and Val. He was looking for Sansa in all these women, and now the real deal stands right before him.

I'm not saying it's going to be an easy journey, but she will be the ONLY ONE to calm the beast. Jon will protect her of course (or steal her) but he will be mean to Sansa at first. He will eventually fall madly in love with her and vice versa. She will sing to him, annoy him, anger him, pacify him and Jon won't know what hit him.

They will fall in love because of what they both endured. Jon will be OVER protective of Sansa in the books, possibly locking her up in a tower like Stannis has Val, but this time there is a real princess in the tower that Jon WANTS to steal. I know I've reached my limits here. I am sorry for rambling or any errors, I'm just so happy to have ran across you fine people. If I didn't tag someone is because I don't remember the names and I'm still fairly new on Tumblr.

You guys are the BEST!

[ad-hawkeye]

incoming live blogging of my reread of alkaid's solitary light route for azure island. ough my god. it's so good.

“you enjoy any song i sing” followed by alkaid immediately being like oh shit what if she doesnt believe me and she thinks i’m just--

love the ominous singer third wheeling in this scene. keep it up king.

alkaid giving her his coat. ugh. weak for that trope dont @ me.

him realizing mc is scared of the singing man just bc her hand tensed up.

wordless understanding in looking and nodding at each other. god. shoot me.

hehe the radio show makes its return. mc’s mother how we missed ye…

wordless communication just by touching mc’s palm. her immediately knowing what alkaid was saying with that action. i hate couples i hate couples i hate cou

“alkaid looks at me patiently, making no attempt to press me into giving an answer - whether or not i tell him is entirely up to me” vibrates. vibrates

“can you come to my room…? “…?”

“i dont want to hide anything from alkaid” followed by mc just. explaining everything about her mother. and he just listens. and only caresses the back of her hand when she gets upset speaking.

“don’t be too hard on yourself. it’s not your fault.” that’s rich coming from mr. guilt himself! very sweet though HAHA

also alkaid being so moved by mc’s story that he spends the whole entire night gathering information from books, the police station, and his mother… then writing notes about ALL of it. just so he can try to get to the bottom of the matter.

“if you are unable to read them clearly, please let me know” okay so mr astronomy has bad handwriting? sounds typical for a stem major HAHA

alkaid telling mc what he learned from his mother about how she had been to pettman island before and how she knew about the weird phenomena.

“forget about the lighthouse. there is something more important” jump cut to mc’s room with that 'something more important' being that alkaid needs to rest. this feels exactly like alkaid’s travel event 2 where alkaid says he needs help with something urgent and that 'something urgent' being helping mc get over her art block.

touching his eyelashes is back on the menu boys!!! i love how alkaid is just. used to it by now. how often has mc done this since te2.

brushing a lock of hair behind someone’s ear is another favorite trope of mine. im going to kill alkaid for this (affectionately)

alkaid waking up the moment mc approaches him, obviously about to leave. he had a feeling mc would try to investigate shit on her own.

“between lovers, there should be no secrets” returns from white day! so cute! i also love how these two can just be totally open without any fear of judgement. even if it means telling alkaid upfront that she wants to go alone. instead of immediately getting upset, alkaid just listens to her. and wordlessly understands that he’s at high risk if he were to join.

“keep in touch with me while you’re away. and stay safe. don’t take risks” is the chad’s version of “i love you” dont @ me.

[fushitoru]

Hellooo! You inspired me with your writing, and so I am about to write fanfic, something with plot (ooh scary). How do you plan out your stories? Do you use a program or anything? I'd love to get tips and tricks. Thank you and bye bye 👋

heyyyy pookayyyyyyy. im definitely not a complex writer like a lot of people seem to be on here or ao3, so take my advice with a grain of salt. like i've said before, i had to work on college apps last year so i became really good at writing stories/seeing plots in a very objective way for my pea sized brain to handle. but writing advice below the cut!

warning: maybe light bridgerton!gojo spoilers?

Q: How do you plan out your stories?

A: Sometimes, it's okay not to have a plan. You've probably seen this before, but writing is a nonlinear process where you write things that don't necessarily happen next in your story but you feel a strong urge to write them. Art doesn't need to have a concrete plan, you can let yourself free with how you write it. I get my best ideas for scenes at 3am.

But regardless, my answer to this would be that I make a checklist of "scenes" for myself. You have to address all characters' conflicts and keep track of them, and I can't do that easily unless I make a concrete plan for every scene. I also really like checklists, because I probably have undiagnosed ADHD and can't function without that dopamine hit. Same reason why I never like having a lot of asks unanswered in my inbox, so all the pending requests are kinda driving me crazy right now LOL.

If it helps, write out each character's "plotline" and how they're going to grow, then think of scenes that make that growth tangible to the reader. I have a LOT of trouble with this in bridgerton!gojo, which is the most plot filled. gojo is a complex character, so i have to keep reminding myself of his issues right now. for example, gojo currently is someone who has a lot of responsibility on him, and he has been conditioned to think that he can't love to stay on the grind. reader infuriates him because she's the first one who's really posed a challenge for him. he's going to realize that he enjoys spending time with reader BECAUSE of that challenge and how it simulates him, which simulataneously making him panic because he forgets who he is and the vow to himself to never engage with a woman/prospective match that could lead to animosity at home. since he doesn't want to have unecessary fights or feelings that could distract him from his duty.

however, he's actively fighting the happiness/weird feeling in his heart whenever he sees reader, especially if he sees her with another man (after this whole gojo manor arc). he's going to be extremely irrational and threatening any man who chooses to actively court her, and this makes him realize that he does deserve love, that there can be space for love while prioritizing your responsibilities.

now, im just going to make this into scenes, writing something similar for reader and any other character that may need to show character growth. and boom! series planned.

Q: Do you use a program or anything?

A: I write on Google Docs because it automatically saves and I can write from my phone or laptop, whichever one I have on hand. Particularly useful when I get an idea at 3AM. It's also useful to share with beta readers. I wouldn't say I use anything else, but I know notion is sometimes helpful. There exist resrouces for (professional) romance writers, so I would check those out since they're also applicable!

Some other things:

If English is your second language/not your native language, or you get stuck on how to write things, read. Read fanfics on ao3, read real books, read the newspaper, read political critique, read essays, watch video essays. I learned English using Harry Potter (and having to wake up at 5am to go to school early to do Rosetta Stone in elementary school). Develop your own writing style. Ever get stuck on scene? Read how someone else did it/how they wrote. Doesn't even have to be a similar scene

Writing a character for the first time is HARD. Gojo was so hard for me to write for, and you can deffo see that in my eariler fics. Keep writing, and keep writing. I'm not going to be able to write Choso or Nanami well as the main lead in my stories yet, because I've never written them. I promise practice is the only thing that helps you improve.

[autisticlio]

I guess while I am rambling about Promare, here is some analysis I made regarding Lio in October.

Text vers under cut

in regards to promare stuff, I was editing the wiki page for the one burnish prison and kinda thought about how lio reacts to thyma waking up like the instant meis points it out, he hurries to her side and crouches next to her

like that tells me that lio is such a caring person cause he sees this poor woman and immediately hurries to comfort her

at this point, he doesn't even know her name. it's a similar thing with the kids where the instant he sees them, he is shocked at the implications of that and stops being annoyed at the guards

lio is so kind when he wants to be. it's just he doesn't show it that much cause how much he gets beaten up in the film and doesn't fully open up to Galo until the lio de galon fightlike he gathered all these burnish and made a little hideout for them to feel safe, he gets groceries himself for them, he plays with the kids in the art book. he is such a good leader figureik the kakusei scene everyone tends to focus on, but there's a lot of little details on how he treats the burnish that is filled with such love and kindnessobvs im not saying he's a big softie. it's more that so much of the film and outside media give these little bits of humanity he has

it's so nice to see these little details when he isn't doing his cold exterior cause he trusts the burnish fully, which is what gets him betrayed by the old man

plus after the cave scene, there's a bit where lio is leaning against the window in a truck in thought

the implication there is that he is thinking about what Galo said before about just fitting him. it could be that he tried before, or at least considered it, but knows it didn't work out that or it's a case of recalling that Galo attempted to save Thyma and Lio thinking 'hm, maybe he isn't as bad as i thought'

obvs we don't know the specific thoughts, but we know that something that Galo did has him contemplating to himself

he's also shown to be upset after trying to save Thyma. the other burnish are happy, thinking she is safe, but lio is upset likely knowing it wasn't enough

it's fun to look at these details and kinda see the gears ticking in his head cause unlike Galo, he doesn't always say what he's thinking cause he keeps to himself

people think the only way lio can be interesting if he's pissed all the time. in truth though, Lio is clever, passionate, caring, and emotive (maybe even moreso than Galo in some cases)

underneath his cold facade

the thing is Lio is only now letting himself get emotional

and it's likely thanks to the cave scene cause that scene had him open up to galo, someone non burnish for once and galo actually listened

galo willingly wanted to help save thyma knowing she's burnish

lio doesn't know that he went to confront Kray from what i recall, but he began to trust Galo so much that he's willing to protect him from kray

he is devastated when he thinks Kray managed to kill galo

i think it's so weird no one points that out

cause galo opened his eyes to letting himself be him, to take pride in himself, only to see him be flung off a mech and be shocked knowing he's likely next

like we know Galo will be fine, but lio doesn't

know if his flames were enough to protect him also like. lio also heard that kray tried to kill galo multiple times and also killed his family. he was in that scene too fjfjfn

like he heard kray rambling and was like 'wow i really hate this fucker even more'

like his story is about finding acceptance in those who care about you and letting yourself be true to yourself in a world that hates you no wonder i found out i was bi and trans because of him

[ultimateissuessimp]

sorry im stupid i just request again XD lemme make it shorter for you

i wonder if you could write something where reader gets picked against there will by a group to become a sacrefice for the devil and should be killed but luzifer joins the party drags everyone to hell except reader who is shocked and trys to get away e and they you know share a moment where they just look into each others eyes and luzibae leave them there? °-°

No worries, no worries! 😅 I wrote it as fast as I could and hopefully it's up to your liking!

Little lamb, little lamb

Obey me Lucifer x gender neutral reader

Word count: 1,680

Warnings: Deaths of multiple people, attempt of an occultistic sacrifice

  It was supposed to be a normal day. You know, wake up, eat breakfast, get ready for the day, maybe be at least somewhat productive. A morning walk surely wouldn't hurt. Yet that's where everything went to shit.

Y/N put on their shoes in a matter of seconds, put on their headphones and started a playlist that would be perfect for such an activity, before grabbing their keys and walking out of their house, locking it behind themselves.

They looked around as they walked, taking in the scenery of the forest they decided to go to since it was very close to their house, admiring the way the sun, that had just risen, shined through the crowns of the trees, lighting up the walkway they took. As the song played in their headphones, they couldn't help but feel as if someone was watching them, they even thought they were hearing some things.

Y/N took off their headphones, leaving them hanging around their neck before turning around and walking backwards, just to do a quick check of their surroundings, seeing if there was anything suspicious. Not noticing anything, they turn back around just to be met with a masked person who in a matter of seconds pressed chloroform soaked cloth to their mouth.

They tried to fight back, run away, but the pair of arms wrapping tightly around their chest and middle made it impossible to break free, especially when panic hit them hard, making them try to get some air while being suffocated by the material and breathing in the chloroform as a result.

The only thought that went through their mind before everything went black was that it could have only been their luck to get kidnapped in broad daylight. Many weird things happened in their life, near death calls, ghost sightings, but never, ever, had a thought of possibly getting kidnapped go through their mind.

The moment they woke up, they started trashing on the table they were bound to by tight ropes. Their head started turning sideways to see the surroundings they were in and their eyes immediately widened in fear. People, many people, dressed in  white robes with hoods over their heads, holding lit candles that were the only source of light in the room, presumably a basement, alongside other bigger candles placed in a circle with symbols inside. That was the moment Y/N bid farewell their life. They were going to die, sacrificed to the devil himself by a cult. Silent tears streamed down their face as they began to plead and beg to let them go.

-Shut up. You're the perfect candidate for an offer for our dark lord - one of them said, voice weirdly... Boyish. Then Y/N banged the back of their head onto the table. They were going to be sacrificed to the devil by a group of frat boys. Fantastic.

-Candidate?! When the fuck did I sign up for this shit, eh?! - they shouted, still trying to break free from their bounds, getting a rope burn from the way the ropes were digging into their skin as they moved. They let out a hiss of pain before settling their eyes on one of them.

-It doesn't matter, soon enough you won't be able to complain. Let's begin - the one Y/N was looking at spoke, clearly the leader of the pack of dimwits. They started chanting something in Latin, clearly previously learning it since they didn't seem to have a book of summoning spells with them.

-Wait! Please, wait! Don't do this, I beg you! - Y/N tried to reason with the group, yet ended up being unsuccessful since they seemed very into what they were doing and had no plans of stopping. Not one of them looked like he was unsure of what they were doing and felt like chickening out.

While they continued their chanting, a string gust of wind came through the whole room, making Y/N's head spin side to side to see the source, but was unable to find anything. Suddenly a bright light appeared somewhere behind their field of vision, making all of the cloaked figures turn towards the source, nearly falling to their knees.

A sound of feathers being ruffled by wind could be heard, before the clacking of shoe heels against the concrete filled the room. A person or a... Being suddenly walked over to the group, despite his quite calm steps and the way he kept his arms folded behind his back, the aura that surrounded him spoke of imminent danger, power, overall - a threat. Y/N observed with bated breath the being's actions, scared to even blink in case all the attention was back on them instead of the cultists.

-Lord Lucifer! What an honour! You actually came here! - the leader said with an enthusiastic grin as he greeted the black haired male. From what Y/N could see was that the man's head adorned a pair of twisted black horns, dressed mostly in all black with three sets of charcoal wings.

Suddenly they saw the being, Lucifer, reach out to the leader and wrap his hand around the man's throat, swiftly and effortlessly breaking his neck. One soul sent to Devildom. Nine more to go.

When the others saw their leader drop to the floor, they all panicked and tried to wing it by running away, yet got stopped by invisible force that grounded them in place. They all started screaming and begging, saying that they were only  doing what the leader told them to do, that they didn't mean to offend the being in any way which only seemed to piss him off even more than he already was.

Not only did they interrupt his one in a lifetime break from work and his brothers, but also dared to insult him with a sacrifice as if he needed it in any way. In his eyes, the ones that needed or demanded a sacrifice were weak and had no self respect. He despised this whole fiasco with his whole being.

Some of cultists died in brutal ways while the others got their souls ripped out and sent straight with a one way ticket to the pits of Devildom. When all but Y/N and the being stayed in the room, the cold feeling started to slowly seep out of it, leaving only the darkness surrounding them. Hearing people die, not being able to see anything, and maybe for the better, was already terrifying enough, but the knowledge of that person still being in the room with them made them shake with fear. Will they die too?

-Fret not. I have no interest in your soul. You are of no use to me - Lucifer said, creating a ball of light in his palm to illuminate the rooms before making the ropes that bound Y/N to the table disappear, completely freeing them which set them off, in a speed of light getting off the table and running to the doors, tripping a couple of times over the corpses of the cultists.

They stopped for a second, their hand on the door knob. Y/N looked back too see mostly the upper body of Lucifer thanks to the ball of light, while the lower half was hidden in the darkness of the room. Their own eyes met the deep crimson red of Lucifer's, sending a shiver down their spine. They wanted to look away so badly, to simply run and not look behind themself, gun to their house, yet that pair of red eyes belonging to the demon that just, ironically, saved their life made them feel almost captivated, unable to look away.

A certain spark that bloomed through their chest made them feel all woozy. Either from how intimidating that man was, from the fear that still resided deep within or an interest that he inflicted in them. Whatever it was, it almost made them feel compelled to stay and find out a bit about the being, but their instincts and the need to survive kept screaming at them to haul ass, that it was not worth it. It wouldn't hurt to have manners though.

-Thank you - Y/N said quietly, looking at the man with wide eyes, not even for a second looking away from him. Scared that if they blinked, even just once, he would disappear or be closer like all the horror movies they had seen. They did not feel like risking it.

-Go and live the rest of your mortal life, for however long that might be. You will not die today and that group won't ever bother you again, that's for certain - he said before a brighter light once again appeared and the man was gone, leaving Y/N all alone in the dark room of a basement.

That was the moment their need to survive came back with a brute force as they swung the doors open and run up the stairs, nearly tripping over a step here or a step there before they finally reached the outside. They had never felt so greatful to feel the cold air on their skin and even the mosquitos trying to be nuisances. They ran and ran until they reached their house, luckily still having their keys in their pocket, quickly unlocking the doors and getting inside, locking the doors back, checking everything to see if it was safe.

When they were sure it was, they plopped down on the couch and put their face in their hands, the gravity of the whole situation finally hitting them. Images flying before their eyes, but only one particular repeated the most. Those deep red eyes that stared back into theirs. They sat there and contemplated what to do now with their life since almost getting sacrificed and meeting Lucifer himself, secretly, deep down there somewhere, hoping to meet him again, while the said demon felt conflicted about meeting a peculiar human not so long ago. Maybe he finally found the second student from the human realm?

[thatmooncake]

hi hi!! i saw your reblog of your therapist au art and noticed in the tags that you dont mind answering questions. i hope its alright if i ask you one or two!!

so, you mention in the background section of the au that moon was used to trap souls inside dreams (or something similar to that.) will that be addressed in the future?? i feel like thats prime material for angsty stuff and moon feeling bad about what happened in the past :< not to mention the whole fazbear entertainment thing lending you the therapy bots and them linked to dream experiments is shady (as per usual with fazent.)

(also not as important, but is the whole "trapping souls" thing a reference to somniphobia, the book in the tftp series?? i actually havent read the story personally, but from a brief summary, im getting those same vibes lol. could be entirely a coincidence, but if not, thats cool either way!!!)

and on a more lighter note, can they eat stuff in this au? if so, id love to know their favorite ice-cream flavors! its a weird question to suddenly ask but for some reason this au is giving me "its a summer night, im up way too late, and im eating ice-cream when i shouldnt" type of vibes

anyways!!! im sorry i think i rambled too much but i love your guys' au, and yall's artwork!! cant wait to see more of it, hopefully in the future!

(p.s. unrelated but i thought moon,,,had the bisexual colors in his irises,,,)

Ooh yay hihi I love AU asks!

So! The dreamscape is going to play a big part in the therapy bots AU, and the angst and drama is very much ongoing - it might seem like fun and games at first exploring the therapy themed concepts, but you’re absolutely right, there are massive Somniphobia style undertones there. Moon’s dreamscape is designed to pull you in and it can be addictive and …energy consuming. Or should we say life force consuming?

Moon meanwhile? He feels closer to you in the dreamscape than in the waking world …at first. All the souls he steals become a part of him, in a sense. Remnants of them continue to float around in the dreamscape if you look hard enough, like when you start peeling back the wallpaper of a new house that used to belong to someone else. For the longest time Moon has not really been able to interact in the real world, and honestly most people in the dreamscape very rarely interacted with him either up until the very end, being far too wrapped up in exploring the vast dreamscape which moulds itself around their wants and needs. He’s been kind of used to his role as a passive observer, or a creature without much identity at all. But this time around, because you think he’s a therapy bot, he’s a part of the action. He’s actually being played with. This is unusual for him, and his feelings get a little more muddied over time.

Sun and Moon can absolutely eat in this AU - it was one of their ill-advised “upgrades”. And as the three of you start sharing some soul energy - uhhh, bond with each other more closely, they start to gain the strangest senses too. Senses they’ve never had before, like smell and taste. And they do not know what to make of this. But they do know that Sun likes neapolitan flavour (don’t ask him to pick just one, they look so pretty together!) and Moon likes mint chocolate chip flavour (yep you heard me, mint is good). And that having ice cream late on a summer night is what it’s all about (well, ask Sun about that one - Moon thinks you ought to be sleeping, but he’ll allow it this one time).

Never apologise for rambling I love rambling :D (also everyone who’s mentioned all the pride flag colours you are absolutely correct Sun and Moon say gay rights)

[kits-ships]

💕 seraphina!!!

SERAPHINA MY BELOVED....... her lore is ever-changing and confuses me but its ok bc they are so pretty &lt;3

warning: im free-balling everything here. g/ood o/mens lore and the biblical canon are simply suggestions to me. also bonus asmodeus (oc) lore.

tws for abuse, self hatred, and slight eye horror

angel!seraphina:

as an angel, their first job was to design animals to put on earth! she wasn't the only one with that job, of course, but she had the most fun with it! she's responsible for most of the mammalian carnivores that lived around the garden, such as cheetahs, leopards, lions, jackals, hyenas, and wild dogs. because of her enthusiasm, their next assignment was to watch over the aforementioned animals and to make sure that nature was in balance. she was named the angel of the southern savanna at this time :) sera loved her job so much that she may have ignored god's orders to leave the earth during the expulsion of lucifer + his cohorts. unfortunately for sera, a banishing of this size sent waves of horrific energy cascading over the earth and it scrambled their mind. they were essentially hit by the residual energy(?) that makes demons into demons and it put her into a constant state of pain. it also led her to extreme internal conflicts, as the demonic energy was a bit fucky on their angelic body. because she had disobeyed god's orders and wound up hurt, they essentially became a seraphim-turned errand boy. she was not permitted to visit earth, other angels would get mad that she couldn't properly preen herself, and she felt like she was constantly letting others down. in a split-decision, she sneaks off to earth to visit her animals :) and gets kidnapped by the demon, asmodeus.

asmodeus:

asmodeus personifies lust. he always gets what he wants, and he wanted sera (maybe a reference to the book of tobit?). he took them as his supposed 'bride' and kept her around like a glorified doll that he would bite, claw, and toy at all he wanted. imagine like. a dog and its favorite chew toy. asmodeus kept sera for seven hundred years(?) before getting bored of them. she had no fight left in her and it wasnt fun anymore smh

fallen!sera:

heaven was pissed. seraphina hadn't listened to them AGAIN and now she's like, a half-chewed pen cap. whats up with that? was she working with asmodeus? why'd he call them his bride? she isn't trustworthy anymore. the fall changed them and we cant keep her here anymore. bye girl. after this, depending on how im feeling, she either wakes up in a field alone- surrounded by embers from her fall- or cro/wley/azir/aphale find her. she's initially totally blind (it appears to be traumatic glaucoma), theyre covered in blood(??), and is all dirty. plus, her wings are grey now?? seraphina is, understandably, very confused. how could she be bleeding? why arent her wounds healing? and why didnt they sink into hell once she'd fallen?? turns out, hell did NOT want her. she was still too sweet and icky. i like to think jobs family or someones family end up caring for her. whether they just found her or cro/wley + azir/aphale were like "wow u did so good for god. here's an angel pls watch it for us' and sera essentially becomes an heirloom. she's like jemimah's personal barbie doll. sera will eventually get up and leave to figure stuff out, but theyre mostly a hermit until the 1800s.because human life is scary and feeling like a mortal is weird!!! what is she supposed to do?? luckily, having an angel and a demon around is nice. she finds them and gets in on their shenanigans here and there until the azir/aphales magic show. at that point shes like "woa. these guys are silly ;)" and returns to land they'd bought in mayfair a lil bit ago. sera also eventually opens a plant nursery beneath her house, but no one knows how it stays open since her chronic pain makes her hours super erratic

demon!sera

i don't know how demon!sera becomes a thing. maybe they just fall straight to hell like they were supposed to. as a demon, sera either changes their name to abaddon or baphomet. abaddon because theyre said to be tied to destruction and chaos, which would result from sera's anger towards everything, and baphomet because i think theyre cool :) baphomet also represents social order, which id say is fitting for someone who, in an au, is stuck between heaven and hell. they also kept nature in balance on the savanna, so demon!sera, like their newly, fallen-angel self, is mostly blind. they see light and darkness and very blurry shapes. as abaddon, their irises are split and look like splotches, and, as baphomet, they have horizontal slit irises like a goat's. maybe horns, too. they are also much angrier and prone to outbursts when compared to their angel self and is disgusted by themselves. they hate being a demon and they hate everyone who has. abaddon would use this rage to mostly create natural disasters, and baphomet would use it to insist on forcing things into balance- even when it would cause lots of people pain. i dont know if that makes sense they are also represented by the komodo dragon :) and they tear asmodeus to shreds. demon!sera may also be venomous.

[highestqualitytrash]

hi wait hi hello? so im rereading NtN and i just caught a brief hint of a metanarrator that i completely missed the first time around — when Hot Sauce and Nona are talking about the Angel before the broadcast, and the text says,

“Nona was so cowed that she didn’t even ask what part of you the asset was.”

this entire books been in third person up to this point (unless i missed something) so i didnt think to be looking for any fun secret narrator tricks like from HtN (shame on me ig). now im simply enthralled by trying to figure out who the corresponding “me” would be — and there would have to be a “me”, right? to call someone “you” is to address them directly, and in this instance seems to imply at least a cursory personal familiarity as well — my only thought right now is harrow, just bc its her body so maybe she’s in the back of alecto/nona’s mind the way that alecto was in the back of hers after breaking into the tomb? but that seems a little flimsy as a theory, not to mention that when gideon was narrating from the back of harrows mind she was speaking in second person for the most part, never third person, and only on like, one occasion pre-murdernight did she use first person

something that i also just realized is really weird is that the “you” is not referring to the body being followed by the narration, which kind of further kills the harrow theory for me, personally. like, it feels like our metanarrator, despite following nona’s POV, is not that well acquainted with her at all/actually “”affiliated”” with her body, since the only deviation from third-person in NtN (thus far) is with a person that nona barely knows, and is not to our knowledge known by either harrow or gideon — the only other person that i think has ever resided within that body is wake who…. maybe knew the angel? depending on how long angel’s been affiliated with BOE. there was also that line from We Suffer about posthumous contact — theres a possibility that wake found out about the angel from there, but that still wouldnt explain what the hell wake’s doing narrating this, so it’s probably not her anyway

[sp00kysk3lly]

Written on 29th January

I’m in love with someone who doesn’t and never will love me back. And it’s driving me mental and I’m losing my mind.

This woman is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Since I first saw her several years ago, I knew I would start having a crush on her. I thought it would just be like the others.

Have a crush on them

End up being stupid and telling them straight away.

I’m embarrassed, angry and rejected.

Eventually get over it.

But not her. Not with her. She stayed for several years. Stuck inside my head, stuck in my heart. She made me a better person. She stopped me self-harming, she stopped me feeling suicidal. She made me feel safe and like I mattered in life.

Every time I saw her, I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything.

Just like that song, Losing My Mind by Mayday Parade.

The chorus really sticks out to me.

Everynight I’m dreaming I could hold you.

Every time I wake up all alone

I was fine ‘til you faded from my life

Now I’m losing my mind,

Yeah, I’m losing my mind.

Those fit with how I feel about this person.

I just want to hold her and hold her hand and tell her that she’s beautiful and amazing and she’s perfect. But I can’t. She has a husband, and kids. It’s not fair.

Everyone I have ever loved, is taken. The feelings aren’t reciprocal.

I wish you could make someone love you. I wish you could just make a wish like on birthday cakes where you blow out the candles and make a wish.

For her ❤️ -

I can’t even sleep now. All because of YOU! But it isn’t your fault, it’s not remotely your fault. It’s all my fault.

But I didn’t expect for it to go on this long either.

I done something last night, something I’m not proud off. I don’t know why it was that urgent for me to find it out. But I did. You can’t hide anything from me. Not when I am determined.

All I can say is that, I Am Truly 100% Sorry. I’m messed up. I know im too messed up for you now. You wouldn’t love me, even if you were single. You’re a counsellor, I mean to be honest, I’d probably be your dream. Im textbook psychopath. You’d probably get famous from me, because you’d be able to write books and do talks about how you saved the psychopath.

But I am really sorry. I never meant for it to get this far.

***

Before this, I wasn’t this bad. I got a bit crazy after she first left. But not to this extreme. Now I feel like it’s too late, I don’t think I am able to be saved. I’m trying to reach out to get help. I’m trying my best. But what can I do when I can’t get into the doctors, even speak to them in fear of my family thinking I’m some weird freakzoid?

I was just a stupid kid who had a crush, but unfortunately, I’m not just some “normal kid with a crush.” I’m a fucked up human being, that’s the decent thing to say. But I’m just fucked up in the head and I can’t be fixed.

Again, I am so sorry.

I found this picture and noticed it looked like me and her. Same colour of her hair, I always wear a beanie and hoody. I would protect her with my life. I wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt her.

She’d be safe with me.

She’s like my drug. She makes me feel better, happier, she makes the bad stuff go away. I need her. I really need her back in my life. Even if she just stays a friend.

[fanficanatic-tw]

Let's talk :D What is the most detailed, carefully constructed character trait or plot point you've created for the 'til death do us part series?

Ooooooh thanks for asking @darknightfrombeyond this is an intriguing question, and has really made me think lol

So, as everyone probably knows by how, (if not, spoilers 🤙🏻) but ever since I started writing the first version of I'm no werewolf the rewrite, I knew Kayla was going to die. By that point, I don't think I had seen 3B yet (us to uk difference) but I knew she would die as a sacrifice for Stiles.

Throughout each book, there is hints towards Kayla's death. Little foreshadowing moments that no one picked up on, but was there all along, For example, in the first version of 'I'm no werewolf' in chapter 67, Kayla is walking from the woods to the Hale house and gets to a spot next to her favourite tree where it felt like "someone was walking over her grave", which was accurate because that's where they buried her in secret. Another one in 'Deadly Intentions' is on the first day back to school, Kayla gets a weird feeling when she walks down the corridor by a set of lockers and that is the spot where she died in Stiles' arms.

Meredith played a bigger part in my series earlier on, and she predicted that "three will die" and that Kayla wouldn't reach her eighteenth birthday. Technically, if she stayed dead, she wouldn't have made it to 18 lol. Also, the nogitsune promised she would die by "his hands, her sword" which meant Stiles and Kira. She died because of Stiles... to save Stiles. She died by jumping in front of Kira's sword, getting impaled through the chest and dying in the most brutal way possible. All of it came true. And throughout the nogitsune storyline, there is hints from the nogitsune about what he is planning... a curse, to make sure Kayla and Stiles will never be together. He makes Stiles dream of Kayla dying in his arms... and again, that's exactly what happens.

In Deadly Intentions, chapter 14, Kayla describes the feeling of losing a child like getting buried alive. Skip forward to her resurrection, and she woke up in the ground. For a short while, she was buried alive. Here's the quote "Since forever I've been terrified of that, had nightmares when I was eight that I would die and my family would give me a funeral only I wouldn't be dead. I would wake up inside a coffin, couldn't breathe, dirt was getting in, fingernails bleeding and broken trying to scratch my way out, but no one heard me and that's how it feels" - one of her biggest fears happened, and it's actually so sad lol

Honestly, throughout the whole series, there is this build up to the inevitable: her death. Not just on hints, but in Kayla's willingness and readiness to die. We see her courage build, her love for stiles and her friends grow and blossom. She becomes more selfless, more wanting to do good. She goes from being damaged and feeling unlovable, to being ready to die for someone.

It's honestly all so heartbreaking haha. There's lots more hints within the books, but I can't remember them all and I'm excited for the im no werewolf rewrite to develop more foreshadowing.

[six40seven]

September 16th

I woke up outside and i dont know how i got there. I was somewhere far in the woods, so far that it didnt make sense for me to be able to go all the way out there without shoes on. I had my phone on me and its was empty of pictures. Which makes no sense, i can SEE the picture i posted, I posted and i responded to people and... You saw the picture? I… dont remember taking any of them. I dont remember anything from last night. Not even a dream. I dont remember,, who i was talking to. But i can see i was talking to someone, someone asked me if it was real. It IS real. But theres something wrong about everything.

I was so cold. My fingers were bone white and my feet were scrapped and scratched. It felt like it was snowing, i thought there would be snow but. The snow. The snow wasnt real. There’s was no snow last night. It was just cold. I walked back home. What else was i supposed to do? No cell service and nothing to do other then go back home. My feet are rubbed raw. I am sick. Niki was gone for work. Or she didnt come home last night… Its not raining anymore but the whole world has been at least 20 degrees colder then the last few days. It really weird. Everything feels wrong.

I went inside. I dont know what time. I dont remember checking the time on the stove. I should’ve. I should’ve checked the time. I wish i had the pictures. They have time stamps. Everything’s off. I’m kind of freaking out right now. even though im home, it doesnt feel safe to be home alone. But i dont want to have to explain to my sister why im not at school and why my feet are bleeding and why it looks like im about to have a nervous breakdown. She’s too busy.

So i got home. I got home and i locked all the doors. I had to. It felt weird to not lock all the doors. I dont want to stand in the living room with the trees, just out there. I love nature, i love the forest but today something feels so wrong. I thought i had stopped sleepwalking years ago. Why is it happening again? Im supposed to grow out of that type of thing. Its fine. Everything’s fine.

So now im sitting in my room. Ive decided to tell Niki i went home early. Today shes supposed to drive me home. But she cant if im not in town at all. I texted her at.. noon? Yeah. She said she would bring chicken soup. I’m going to tie myself to my bed tonight. After she goes to bed. I dont want to wake up like that again, alone, looking up at the storm gray sky with only my thin pajamas on. No memory of how i got there. I cant.. this was supposed to stop. I was supposed to be okay.

Im okay. Im okay im just. Im mad. Yk when something is supposed to be in the past comes back, it always fucks you up. Its fucking me up right now. I dont usually curse but i just. Im sick.

Im goign to read a book. If anyone knows anything. Please let me know..

[onmymasa22]

Write down ur future goals

I have a lovely life. I wear nice clothes. I wear nice jewelry. I love noce stuff.

Tell me about a day in my future life based onq

What i never said, but i mean ti say is: i dont want u in my life. I was better off before u were in my life, and ill b better off after i clean my head from u. I need a major cleaning. Cuz i shouldve thrown u out before. Half a year ago. In my life, u are all worthless. Ur not on my level. Im nice, so i didnt kick u out, and i dont like change or goodbyes. But i need to just move on from u. I need to just be who i am, with out loser guys around me. Im so much better than that. I still want the nice guy. Not the slick guy, not the loser cant wake up in the morning, not the complainer. Just get the fuck away from me. Stop talking to me. Move the fuck on, let me go. U had ur shot. U missed it. Now stop talking to me.

Most people who go to college for education want to teach elemary or highschool kids. Lots of people around me like these ages. I think my issue is that i have no respect for them. The lack of respect causes my lack of patience. I dont respect teenagers. To me, theyre idiots. Theres no bigger idiot in the world than a teen, myself at 15 included. Everything is drama u cant figure out, its all the end of the wirld, ur the stupidest, most ugly, worst self esteemed individual, and everyone is like that. U have oily hair, teeth that dont make sense or hurt, ur either the annoying one who needs to be in every picture, or ur the one who thinks ur so cool and cant he in any picture. I hated people when i was that age, why would i want to be around that again. I like old people.

The amount of times my hearing was mistaken this holiday with a loud family that never let's something funny slide, we can all do like guitar riffs with it at each other

In my family we all know how to jam out to guitar riffs but with jokes. We are all loud and all of us have humor that can go from dark, to old jewish. But because its like a guitar riff jam, everyone literally collaberates to a "stand up set" improve style until everyone laughs so hard they're tearing up. That's a normal weekend in my family.

A yom tov where my family is together means putting a bunch of people with loud personalities who all have a sense of humor to the extreme where everything can be funny. Like ive been with some families where u need to be obnoxious, or a health freak, or deal with the weird uncle who drunk and talking nonsense but theyre assuring u that he is actually very smart (which is like when people say their weed is "the good stuff", it never is. When they tell u he is "very smart", he isn't). In my family, u need a sense of humor that can match everyone. We ll have different ways that we're funny-im the most made fun of between everyone and im almost non offendable, and i make it funnier.

what i learned about ppl who sell weed- if they tell u its high quality, it never is.

Like how in some families, u need to be vegetarian or obnoxious to make it, at my house u need a sense of humor and to be

I cry way more then i used to. Usually when im emotional. I was never a cry at movies or books or songs kind of person. I knew my grandmother as that person. Everything made her cry. And after i accomplished lots of healing, breaking cycles, letting go of unhealthy relationships, therapy, throwing myself into learning new skills even when it was more boring than a crazy night. I really thought id never feel happy again. I was so numb yet emotionally raw at the same time. I thought boring normal relationships or doing things where i wasnt almost dying, never knew how the night would go so took a toothbrush life. That was what my life became. And in my own time, through my own decisions, i gave therapy a shot. And i still didnt think id ever be happy with normal. I threw myself into learning guitar. It was always something i was interested in, from elementary school, someone brought one and played and i was in awe of it. Kind of like i was in awe of someone speaking hebrew which i also learned.

Im just proud that i chose life. After a long time of choosing death. This year, i chose life. This next year, i want to choose life too.

This year i want to choose life.

I want to be fully committed to myself, being guided by halacha.

I will choose life.

I will get a job that feeds my passions.

I will have enough money to live and extra to give and live nicely.

I will battle each day that the demons show up. I will fight to live a healthy boring life.

In my life right now, healthy doesnt mean eating salads everyday. It doesn't mean going to the gym. It doesn't mean counting calories, or being a runner, or owning a stanley cup thing. Healthy means

I had to learn this:

Treat people according to who u r, not according to who they r.

[1d1195]

sam, sam, sammmmm. it’s been a hot minute. im still out of the country, wifi is terrible, i am even more so. HAHA. BUT I MISS GETTING ON HERE AND TALKING WITH YOUUU😭😭😭 but thank goodness because i finally got free time to binge read all the one shots and series you’ve posted (except Honey, it’s the only one left and i’m going to wake up tomorrow and start because i KNOW im going to eat that up) AND ITS BEEN SO MUCH FUN SO THANK YOU SO MUCH.

can i just say how absolutely awesome it is that you run this account and you share all this with us? honestly i don’t even read your summaries anymore because i genuinely know that if you wrote it, ill love it. not even kidding.

SAMANTHA I JUST READ MOST AND YOU WERE SO RIGHT😭😭😭 I WOULDVE DIED IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR THAT😭😭😭 BUT OMGGGG MY HEART LITERALLY HURT SOOOOO BAD READING THAT STORY BUT IT WAS SOOOO GOOD. i was worried cause i remembered all the lauren hate mail but HONESTLY??? I WAS EXPECTING WORSE. I WAS SOOOOO SCARED SHE WAS GOING GET WITH HARRY I WOULDVE THROWN MY PHONE. she was just a jealous bitch, whatever.

the traditional blurb? and then the EXTRA traditional blurb??? BAHSHJEUSHAUAS HOTTTTT. I LOVE THEM🥹

the “heaven is a place on earth” cover is SOOO good, better believe it’s going straight to the clean up playlist. I HAVE A FEW SONGS TO SHARE AS WELL !!! “tenenbaum” by the paper kites - “sweet heat lightning” by gregory alan isakov - “hope” james bay

life is soooo ughhh. there’s something wrong with me, i dunno. please tell me you’re faring better, how’s life ? what’s new ? tell me everything ! love you lots <3333

~🎶

AHHHHHH!!!!! HIIIIIIII!!!!!!! I've missed you so much! Bad wifi is the worst! I figured you were still traveling but it's so good to hear from you!!!! Probs for the best you saved Honey as well, you'll see 😭 I think I got 15 messages for one of the parts. I hope you enjoy 💕

YOU'RE SO SWEET I COULD CRY 😭 I love this blog more than anything tbh. It's so nice to be here and write stuff but it's even nicer that you (and others) enjoy it and let me know that you do 😭 thank God for one direction, am I right?

I hate Lauren (although not as much as some of you 🤭) I briefly toyed with Harry dating but I don't think I could make him date Lauren. Maybe someone else. But Lauren would have been too much I think I'm glad you loved the story overall even if your heart hurt!

Traditional is always a safe bet, I think. I'm glad you loved them too! 💕

Okay listening to Paper Kites but they sing that other song I mentioned to you before so I'm VERY ready to listen to this song 10000 times in a row. (I'm listening to it right now, and I'm loving it thus far). I'm always here for a Gregory Alan Isakov song as well. James Bay for me is about 50-50 but I'll give him a fighting chance (I def heard Let It Go one too many times on the radio back in the day so I'm biased--isn't it weird though? I'M allowed to play the song over and over but the RADIO should NEVER.)

There's nothing wrong with you. Life IS soooo ughh. I'm doing alright. I feel like my energy is off and I'm not sure why (probs $$ related). I feel less stressed than I have in years which is nice, but in a constant state of being busy. Work is good overall! Which is like a HUGE load off my back. Otherwise, just trying to enjoy the little things every day so I don't become filled with existential dread 🙃 I don't have too much new going on. I'm one of those people who shift their closet from spring/summer to fall/winter (and back) so I did that over this past weekend and basically I never need to go shopping ever again (but also I have coupons so what am I supposed to do? Not use FREE MONEY!?) I'm SO obsessed with coffee it's borderline unhealthy but Gilmore Girls says it's fine so it is what it is. I need to start reading again. I've been rereading the same scene of "who did this to you" from what of my books just to feel something and I cannot move on. I mentioned it in an ask to my 💜-anon, but I straight up have two book-boyfriends right now and I'm literally so in love with them it's probs unhealthy as the coffee addiction. I have a wedding to go to this month which I'm not really looking forward to. October is SO busy and I feel like I'm rushing through this message but I am trying my HARDEST to finish a one-shot update for Thursday 😭

Anyway.

TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR TRIP. Tell me everything as well! What has you thinking life is so ughhh?

MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU 💕

xoxo