#SOMEONE KILL THAT ASSHOLE.

[averagepsychouser]

Next time I see Vulpes Inculta it’s ON SIGHT.

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[thankstothe]

One liners the sequel

[agnesandhilda]

watched a (pirated) mr. birchum episode out of curiosity and in it the asshole conservative protagonist has a homoerotic daydream about the other teacher who's a stand in for the ""woke left"" that he hates, which is the opener for the episode and is also never referred to again, gets his sleeve caught in a machine in his woodshop at work and spends days contemplating his life and regrets while he's trapped (or so he thinks). this montage includes how he met his current wife who he doesn't respect and who isn't honest with him (the b-plot expands on this), how his ex-partner left him after coming out as a lesbian and was repulsed after he tried to persuade her to stay with him, reasoning that her being queer meant they could just share a girlfriend now (that was not what it meant), and culminating in a marlboro man-esque image of commercialized rugged usamerican masculinity telling him to chew his own arm off to escape, before one of his students comes along and frees him by just cutting off his sleeve. all that and he thought to chew his own arm off before he considered just tearing his sleeve. and it's all played as a comedy. fever dream episode

[huntersapprentice]

okay, here's a little joke concept I thought of this morning to cope over the reveal of Mizuki's new event

[lovehours]

i don’t even fucking care

[dukeofthomas]

why does every reconciliation fic go like this

[coquelicoq]

i just don't understand what milady has done that was so bad. sure she killed and she kidnapped, but who hasn't? sure she's a terrifying demon of vengeance, but she deserves it? good for her??? all these men treat her so reprehensibly and she's smart and talented and she should kill them all if she wants to. i support her.

[banished-away]

artemis and dahlia are so good. the contrast between the supposed hero drizzt always keeping her at an arm's lenght, preferring the "soft look" she puts on to please him where she acts and looks softer and covers her tattoos and scars, knowing she had a painful past but not bothering to ask or look into it because it would shake his morals and he would rather pretend to not know than to actually confront it or even help dahlia through it. meanwhile the supposedly cold killer artemis with just a few looks saw the pain in her, let her have the kill against herzgo because he realized it was important to her even if he had just as good reasons and he didnt know dahlia's yet, and when they were alone he let dahlia be vulnerable to him, asked her about her pain, and when she was not comfortable to speak about it he just stayed near her and comforted her

[brinnanza]

most gays and reasonable people: you can't judge people for immutable aspects of their being like their sexuality or race or county of origin; bisexuals are not a monolith they don't all like iced coffee

some of those same bitches without a shred of awareness: except for your birthday which can determine your entire personality my girlfriend the moon told me so

[awildtei]

I can't remember whether Neil has canonically killed anyone, but for my own amusement I like to pretend he hasn't because it's just... so fucking funny if he hasn't and Aaron has.

I don't know who would be more annoyed that Aaron "pre-med student, nerd, dating a cheerleader" Minyard has killed a man and Neil "runaway son of a mobster, technically owned by the Yakuza, has been kidnapped" Josten hasn't, Neil or Aaron.

Them bickering and Neil being like "You wouldn't have survived a single day on the run from my father" and Aaron raising an unimpressed eyebrow and saying "Oh really? How many people have you killed? At least I know when it comes down to it I'm ready to do it, you just stand there and freeze." and Neil seething because fuck, he kind of has a point.

Or Aaron saying something about how he has a moral compass and Neil doesn't and Neil going "Okay, murderer." and Aaron realizing in horror he has killed 1 (one) more person than Neil Fucking Josten.

[aalghul]

I don’t think it makes sense to assume that Jason was mocking Mia’s past. At all. The thing that got jason painted as violent back in the 80s was his anger against rapists…how does that turn into mocking a victim? and that entire story was written by winick. Do we honestly think winick intended to communicate that? The same writer who made Jason’s first kill a man who was trafficking children? Who had Jason pause in his mission of madness to make sure those kids were found by the right people so they wouldn’t be in further danger?

[aboutnavi]

A few days ago there was a whole discussion online in Brazil about how climate change anxiety was “a white person problem”. This is Brazil right now, as illegal fires were set in the countryside of the state of São Paulo.

The sun is red. The sun is fucking red. The state is literally burning. The city of São Paulo has an orange sky made by the toxic fog coming from the fires. Other states in the region (the one that I live, by the way) watched as this toxic fog came to our towns. Winds, a dense cloud of pollution, the air almost ashy. It’s toxic. The government isn’t doing anything to alert or prepare the citizens, the media is hiding everything because these were intentional fires set to support the agro business in Brazil.

I’m having problems breathing prior to these fires because of how the air is so dry in Brazil, caused by the intense pollution and deforestation/logging. It all got worse since this morning, as we watched the heavy grey clouds coming to us. There is literally no information in how to deal with this, and no punishment for the criminals - hilarious, until you think most of the powerful people in the agro business are also entangled with the media/government. “The agro is pop, the agro is tech, the agro is everything”, is what we spent decades listening on the tv, and now we are ripping the consequences of this shit. Ribeirão Preto, a city in the state of São Paulo, an “agro city”, is invisible under the fog. But the agro is pop, right?

My friend is waking up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe, I have friends having anxiety attacks over the consequences of this and I can assure you, this is not the first or last time this had happened. During Bolsonaro’s government, the agro did a “fire day”, where multiple fires were set in so many places that became almost impossible to track the people responsible for it or to get the fires out. The laws passed under Bolsonaro’s, and brazilian law since… ever, has a tricky way of letting these criminals away. We need harsher punishment, and Lula re-elected himself under a “green” campaign/government, holding hands with indigenous people as he rode up the Alvorada’s Palace. The indigenous people are the only community trying to protect us from this shit and the government used them, and continue to use them, to advance their political party while doing nothing when acts like these happens.

I’m so tired of this shit. Mere months ago a whole state in Brazil was under water because of the consequences of climate change. I’m so fucking exhausted of we labbing these problems/anxiety as “white people problem”. You say this in a third world country where we are eating shit from the consequences of first world countries who developed and continue to develop themselves by burning our Earth. The country should have stopped when Rio Grande do Sul was under water and the country should have stopped days ago when the fires started to spread.

I’m so tired and I’m so sad and I have no words. I hate it here. I really, truly hate it here.

[skankhunt44]

Yeah I'm a fucking dick,

But this dick isn't supporting terrorism and isn't sympathetic for people who want to ethnically cleanse the middle East funded by the UN?

Lol yes, Karen, you're totally on the right side of history here, you're quoting antisemetic tropes from both the Nazis and the KKK handbooks, and openly calling for ethnically cleansing Jews from Israel which they call "isn't real" or whatever but it's named over 100 times in the Quran, and I've read the xtian bible it's mentioned probably twice that at least. But it isn't real. Sorry it's hard not to laugh at that logic.

Glad we had this chat.

[funscarypdr]

every totalitarian regime in history has justified its actions by clinging to the belief that its system was the only one that could maintain order, the only one that could uphold good. i haven't seen a shred of evidence that that's true of the exandrian pantheon, just gods and people parroting the belief that they're needed to keep the world spinning, when as far as we know it spun before them and will likely spin long after them

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i do understand and acknowledge that most people who pick up mdzs and get really into it walk away from the experience with wangx!an brainrot that brings them joy and suffering (affectionate) in equal measure, and--unless they're assholish at me or my pals--i wish all of those people well and hope that the veritable cornucopia of wangx!an content on this webbed site and AO3 is everything they've ever wanted out of their fandom experience. wwx is the protagonist, lwj is his court-appointed soulmate, their happily ever after is what most people pick up the books wanting to experience, and that's, you know, fine. live your bliss etc.

i just hope that one day it won't be such a hot and controversial take for fans who didn't develop wangx!an brainrot, and who found something and/or someone else more compelling and engaging about the text, to be able to say as much, and talk about it as much as we want to, without generating a bunch of passive-aggressive--or aggressive-aggressive--commentary from hardcore wangx!an stans who seem to take our disinterest in the central romance personally for whatever reason. like genuinely i would probably not dislike wangx!an as much as i have come to dislike them if i hadn't been inundated with very rude reblog commentary or anon asks early on in my fandom experience just for saying /checks my notes, "maybe jin guangyao isn't evil, actually. maybe wei wuxian did some things wrong."

dgmw, i'm glad that lots of people here are able to like jgy, for example, and still enjoy wwx and wangx!an specifically. but for those of us who don't, or who are struggling to rediscover some affection for the main pair, this attitude.... did not develop in a vacuum lol. i would just like for people to bear that in mind, i guess.