#SKILL ISSUE INDEED
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Some screenshots of the boy....... oh no I love him a little too much....... like yes he is perfect in every shape and form, no I will not accept criticism. His VA never misses with his lizard/avian boys does he?? Garrus Vakarian you will always be my beloved... BONUS because I freaked out when he said this to me today oml:
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Dog nibbling at Subspaces new nikes
BAD PITBULL!!!!! BAD!!!
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(shaded version)
#Yea#enioy!!!#I like the not-shaded version a bit better then the shaded!#Anyways weird fucked up pitpull eats subspaces custom 300 dollar nikes#Such a skill issue indeed đ#Anyways this took way longer then it shouldâve but yea#Iâm still trapped in the car SOB#I think the roadtrip should be done soon weâre like an hour away from home rn THANK GOD#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#phighting#phighting art#phighting biograft#biograft phighting#biograft#phighting subspace#subspace#subspace phighting#my art
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dysgraphic artiƨts risÉ UP!!!!!
#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters đ#sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as#students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists#which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way#and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL)#i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities???#specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life#(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.)#(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms)#(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid)#(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?)#irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont#have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist#again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my#art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL#i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual#capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I#far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3#sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist#i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware#of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number#half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it#dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!!#what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone#motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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love seeing a bunch of amazing art from people and finding out they're like. 15 or so. and i feel myself wither out of personal shame
#I LOVE THEIR ART AND ALL OF THAT DO NOT GET ME WRONG#I HAVE ISSUES (one sided beef with anyone below the age of 16 having more skills and makes better art. wdym other people managed to get the#hang of drawing quicker than me. the person who is still fighting for it's life to make stuff look decent for the past 8 years. what) AND I#IS INDEED EMBARRASSING I KNOW.
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if i have one critique of fallout: new vegas other than the myriad of bugs is that i should've been able to romance veronica
#we should've been at the club smh#mse's playing fallout: new vegas#watch someone comment that you CAN indeed romance her it would be devastating#skill issue etc#anyway i did the anarchist ending obvsly what else is there to do#fuck the fascists fuck the police and fuck the capitalists
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I was explaining my problem of having three big spiders in my house to someone at a bar yesterday and they suggested I hoover them up, I told them that would probably make me feel so bad I cried and they looked me dead in the eye, shrugged and said âskill issueâ
#zoomers are so judgey in a fun way#we also bonded over being they thems that chopped 2 letters off our birth names lol#they were cool but I donât wanna kill spiders sorry dawg#it is indeed a skill issue#and the skill is empathy#eri stuff
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Reasons why rocks are better than swords:
Able to beat swords into teensy pieces.
More style
Come in a variety of hues
"Arise, arise, Riders of Thèoden! Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor! Death! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas!"âThĂŠoden's speech before the charge
#lotr#the only situation where rocks beat swords or indeed scissors is that of a skill issue#wizardposting
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thinking lots of thoughts
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oKAY that was far fewer attempts than expected! lets goooo
#liveblogging on main#inverted fate#L counter: 13??#cool ass fight indeed! found it tough to focus on the everything happening at once#but tbh thatâs a skill issue haha#now for the power of friendship!!#âŚand maybe getting my ass kicked by memoryhead later!!#eh iâll update this liveblog whenever i reach the downward spiral fight anywho so
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Cass's civilian identity being paper thin is so important to me actually. Barely anyone on the street knows Bruce Wayne's daughter and any of the press who are interested can't uncover a single thing other than him adopting her when she was 19. It leads to a whole lot of speculation but no actual facts.
Meanwhile you have assassins who are the best of the best, the cream of the crop, and anyone who is someone in the evil assassin underworld knows all about David Cain and his daughter who turned rogue and became Batgirl.
Which means most of them see her with Bruce Wayne and are like ohoho a clever plan by Batman indeed! Putting Batgirl undercover as Bruce Wayne's daughter to guard and protect Wayne, who's a key part of all the recent projects to improve Gotham City. Masterful gambit Mr Batman sir, you also get a spy who reports on everything Wayne's doing whenever you need it.
This gives Cass the freedom to not even try to hide herself behind some sort of helpless civilian persona. Attempted kidnappings of Bruce Wayne and his kids have dropped by 90% since she got adopted, as the first one to try and take a fancy party hostage got the shit kicked out of him by Cassandra Wayne while her father watched proudly.
The next attempt brought a gun and she disarmed him then broke his hand. Finally they sent a whole squad of mercenaries to kidnap Bruce and Tim on the way to a W.E business meeting only to find Cass in the car with them. The kidnapping did not go as planned and the goons have several questions as to why the fuck Bruce Wayne's daughter is a metahuman who dodges bullets. They never get answers.
She's the only batkid who never has to fake her abilities. Damian is highly indignant about this but she just pokes his forehead and tells him it's a skill issue when he complains.
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I was 100% thinking of the Shinsengumi when the brainrot struck, but let us assume a more generic, unnamed circumstance for this. Random, uh, elite group of swordsmen working for the shogunate in the Edo period. Here's the awkward, horny himbo I had previously mentioned. Content: female reader, historical setting, crossdressing, NSFW
Yandere!Captain commands his group with an iron grip. Many people in the Capital know his name, whether it's fellow warriors or petty merchants, and not without reason. His unmatched skill with a sword had even reached the ears of the court, and he was quickly appointed as the head of a newly formed group of samurai meant to maintain order in the city.
As if keeping hot-blooded thugs under control wasn't enough, he is now stuck with an even bigger issue: you.
"We can't have women in here", he declares with a grimace.
"I can pretend", you counter stubbornly, pulling your hakama pants up by the sash, almost in an act of defiance. "In fact, I don't see any woman here. I came to apply."
Yandere!Captainâs reputation does not only revolve around his intimidating strength. Among his underlings, he is known for being completely and utterly uninterested when it comes to women. Will he join his group for drinks after a long day of work? Absolutely. But thatâs where the fun stops. When the others begin to slip away with smiling courtesans, he remains at the table with a somber countenance. It is a running joke that nothing can deter this man from his duty.
Thus, your presence at the headquarters should make no difference. He had to begrudgingly accept that you spoke the truth when you'd said you can handle a sword. It's not uncommon for women to keep a small tanto underneath their obi for additional protection, but your knowledge doesn't stop there. You arrived with your own katana and backup wakizashi, swiftly proving their worth upon your first city round when you slashed the arm off a street hooligan.
Well, that's one less worry for the captain. Except, to his great shame, it's not as simple as that. He is the only one aware of your secret, which means that he is the only one available outside of working hours. He was terrified to discover the hesitation in his hands when bandaging your ribs after a stabbing incident, or the halt in his step when he happened to find you switching to a night gown. Oh, how deplorable! Have his morals crumbled into nothing? His latest perverted thought nearly caused him to draw a blade across his stomach.
It is with this faltering confidence that he greets you before the bath one evening.
âYou donât have to do thisâ, you tell him. "I can wait until you're done."
His struggles haven't escaped your observant eye. You were initially amused by his rather obvious awkwardness; then, a certain idea insidiously made its way into your mind, impossibly tempting: for how long could he keep this façade?
You find yourself going out of your way just to tease your poor captain, perhaps secretly hoping he'll soon break down and give in to his yearning.
âThey will become suspicious if you never join us. I do not care for your nudity. Undress at easeâ, he says, throwing away his own towel and lowering himself into the hot water. âGet in whenever you want.â
If he insists.
You nonchalantly follow suit, sitting across from him with your arms resting against the rocky edge of the hot spring. You can tell his eyes have wandered involuntarily. His face is red, and heâs wearing a humiliated frown.
âYouâre awfully quiet, Sir.â
His lips are pursed indeed. The tall man shuffles briefly, avoiding your gaze. A smirk crosses your features as you decide to approach him.
"In fact, I'd go as far as you say that you're in dire need of help."
To your surprise, he doesn't protest when your hands stray to his lower half, feeling up and down his erection. The small grunts escaping his mouth encourage you to pick up the pace, now equally aroused.
Soon, you feel his heavy arm wrapping around your waist, forcefully throwing you out of the water and onto the cold ground. You open your mouth to complain, but it's quickly shut back by his hot lips, suckling and biting in a desperate hunger to have you.
âItâs improper for a subordinate to take the leadâ, he finally says in a low, breaking voice.
He can only hope no one else decides to use the hot springs, though thatâs as far as his concern currently goes. Heâs much too preoccupied with other pressing matters, holding onto your folded legs for support as he thrusts into you in a depraved, delirious need. His movements are jerky and erratic, with an almost predatory glimmer in his eyes. You wonder how often he imagined this happening. All of his shame and guilt, coming undone at once.
Days later, during one of the hangouts, you find him whispering to one of the courtesans.
âWhat, you suddenly have a taste for women now?â you question discreetly, unable to hold your tongue.
Youâd hoped to be on the receiving end of any future lust-driven gestures from the captain, not some common worker.
He appears to hesitate, twiddling his thumbs and glancing away.
âI was justâŚasking how you properly please a womanâ, he finally confesses.
If heâs going to continue fucking his subordinate behind everyoneâs back, he may as well do a good job while at it.
[More Original Works] | [Yan!Swordsman Concept]
#yandere swordsman#yandere captain#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere smut#smut
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Imagine Lumine and aether find themselves on a new planet, centuries after Childe has already died, and she smells that scent again, she smells HIM again, and for a brief second, she thinks heâs back.
Do you think the Abyss has a scent? (I always imagined it's not unpleasant, just inhuman. Ink, ozone, hot metal, good agarwood oil. Real agarwood oil, the one that smells of dark wood and mint and fur of celestial foxes)
Do you think Childe smells of it sometimes? (Even his basic elemental skill is abyssal in nature, after all. Something must cling)
Do you think whoever you ship with the guy eventually starts to think of it as "home"?
Do you think they go into the Chasm or Enkanomiya and recognize it?
#childe#chilumi#lumine#if only I didnât absolutely despite the travelers characterization#then maybe I could get behind this ship#indeed a skill issue
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SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.
It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.
He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.
So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.
Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.
Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!
Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.
SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.
For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!
Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#bingqiu#this is luo binghe's palace now shen qingqiu just lives there#the only hiccup is that binghe is strangely bad at convincing anyone else to come work at the palace#shen qingqiu encouraged him to assist in finding other help but somehow binghe always comes up empty handed#oh well guess they'll have to continue living there just the two of them with no one else#(this eventually does change but binghe sulks for WEEKS about it)
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I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to â¨see a therapist⨠to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!
My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,
The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.
Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.
Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.
One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.
If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.
It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.
Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone
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Maybe a Hobie Brown x Mabel-Pines-Type!Reader? Older obviously, with just like, her personality and fashion sense? A Chaotic Sunshine meets Chaotic Rebel type thing.
If not interested, just ignore. But I look forward to whatever you write!
Starstruck (Hobie Brown x Fem!Sunshine!Reader)
Summary: Youâre Jess Drewâs gal in the chair (in training), and when you have to make a quick trip the spider society you happen to catch a certain punkâs eye.
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: MINOR SPIDERMAN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE SPOILERS, use of (Y/N)
A/N: I hope this meets your expectations!! I had alot of fun writing this!
EARTH-1618
KINGS, NEW YORK CITY
Your desk was more glitter than wood at this point.
It was hard to tell where the stickers stopped and where the wood of your desk started.
Especially now, as you squeezed glue on top of whatever artpiece you were currently working on. An array of different paint tubes and what looked like glitter bombs were spread about your work area, dangerously close to what looked like very expensive monitors and pcs. Though it was kind of hard to tell based on all the string worms and star stickers pasted on any surface that wasnât a screen.
The project, which could only be identified as an oversized button pin upon closer inspection, was coming together nicely. Atleast in your eyes.
It read âBEST SPIDERâ with a cute doddle of a spider surrounded by loads of blue, yellow, and red glitter. Currently you were putting your finishing touches on it by attaching color coordinated ribbons to the bottom ruffles.
The craftsmanship alone of it was indeed impressive, you just needed to look past the blinding reflectiveness of it.
It was for your mentor, Spiderwoman.
Who had taken you under her wing for the past two years, âtrainingâ you to be the best. Well, best in the sense of âgal in the chairâ. At first it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you, but neither did the world you were thrown into. She apparently saw something in you from all the way across the multiverse.
The rest was history.
â(Y-)..(Y/N)...(Y/N)!â
The glue bottle currently in your hands spun in the air, a chaotically beautiful cascade of glue spewing in the air and (thankfully) somehow none of it landed on you. Slowly turning your head, you gave a small wave as you saw said mentor on the screen staring down at you.
âJess! HeyâŚdid you..did you try calling my watch?â
âWhat do you think?â
Spinning your chair across the room, you snatched your multiversal watch and flicked the screen on.
You did in fact have about five missed calls from her. You could feel her iced stare from across the room, hell from across dimensions.
âBut it was getting in the way of my creative liberties!â
âI donât care! As the second half of a spider person you need to be available 24/7! Your future spider will need to be able to rely on you.â
Slipping the watch onto your wrist, you shot yourself back over to your desk and smiled widely at her. She knew that whatever scolding she gave you would only have about a few moments effect. Sure the message would stick but she always had that nagging feeling in the back of her mind of how long it truly stuck.
âWell, You have me on the horn now! What's up? Who do I need to aid with my technological wonders? My sleuthing skills? I'm ready to Sherlock it up!â
After a few more long blank faced seconds, Jess reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose.
âWe actually need you here. Our resident Spider who usually deals with all of our technological deals is having some connectivity issues.â
Your heart stopped for a moment, but only for a moment before you were shooting out of your seat and whooping. Jumping around your room, you threw your fist in the air before a sudden realization dawned upon you mid air.
It was almost comical how you seemed to pause mid jump.
âOh my godâŚI have to change. I can't show up to Spider Society looking like this!â
â(Y/N) there's no time! Grab your bag and get here now.â
Standing in shock, you huffed as you watched your computer screen clip off.
She was crazy if she thought you werenât at least gonna put on some body glitter.
-
âJess said to meet her hereâŚdo you think she got lost?â
Hobie shrugged, shoving his hands into his vest pockets. His fingers found themselves fiddling with whatever computer chip or part he had nabbed as he leaned against what could be considered a front desk.
âYou know âer best. She usually punctual?â
Gwen looked up from her watch with an exasperated look. That told Hobie all he needed to know as he leaned his head back with a sigh.
âListen! I've never met her in person! Sheâs one of Jessâs other trainees! I just know she's not a spider, and that despite having worked with Jess for two plus years she's never stepped foot in Spider Society!â
âSheâs a chair?â
Pinching her nose, Gwen nodded. âYea. A pretty good one too. She is a bitâŚeccentric though. And loudâŚI think she blew my eardrum out one time. I had tinnitus for like a week...â
âSo sheâs got some vocals on âer aye?â
âThats all you picked up on? Câmon Hobie help me look for anyone who looks lost weâre supposed to chaperon h-â
Usually the portals that opened here were the usual semi-chaotic reality altering ones. But for some reason the one that just opened in front of them was nothing of the sort. No..this one opened with a loud tear; Everything and everyone in the vicinity was enveloped in a neon pink hue.
It was hard to tell who came stumbling out of the portal, as Hobie feared that if he moved his hand he would temporarily blind himself. But as the portal closed, and everything returned to its normal color palette, he finally dared to move his hand.
Maybe he shouldnât have moved his hand.
Cause he was only met with a very different, blinding sight.
You had just fully stood from what he could only assume was a clumsy entrance. You wore what could only be described as almost every color of the rainbow but someone you pulled it off. There was absolutely no way you could move silently, as you were adorned in a plethora of kandi bracelets, pastel chains and pins. Your hair was adorned in a multitude of clips that matched the ones on your bag.Â
Was your smile an accessory too? Hobie was sure it was, cause it was blinding him just as much as the body glitter that was spread over your legs and arms were.
His hand slowly reached up to clutch the chest of his jacket, in hopes that it would remind his heart to beat.
It wasnât until Gwen had elbowed him in the side (hard enough to bruise might he add) that he remembered to breathe.
âDonât stare, it's rude.â
He didnât want to look away.
âHi! Im GwenâŚStacy! Weâve talked a few times over coms?â
You smiled even wider as you grabbed Gwenâs hand and shook it rather violently (or enthusiastically it could have been confused for either). When she removed her hands from your drip it was left brighter than before for only a moment.
âHi! Its nice to finally put a non-masked face to the name! Im (Y/N). And you are?â
Your sneakers squeaked as you took a sharp turn to face Hobie fully.
âIm Hobie Brown. Quiet the entrance you made.â
He holds his hand out, and is relieved when you shake it for just as long as you did Gwenâs. He watches as it glowed then returned to its normal saturation.
âYeaaaa. Apparently my Earth is like WAY brighter than most. I wouldâve brought sunglasses if I had known that would happen. AnywaysâŚcan you show me to the computer lab..hubâŚwherever this Spider-Byte normally operates?â
Gwen had taken it upon herself to lead the charge, and include a quick run over tour of whatever facility you all happened to pass on the way to the lab.Â
Everything was so bright, but what amazed you more were the amount of Spider people that were just casually walking about. Either they were coming back from patrol, returning from break or coming for the first time.
You were sure your neck was gonna hurt or have a permanent crook in it from how much you were whipping your head around and turning to take everything in. You werenât sure when the next time you would be here would be, so you wanted to take it all in.
âAnd here is where all the computer magic happens! You uhâŚknow what youâve gotta do from here right?â Gwen awkwardly raised her hands as if to present the lab.
âYup! Im TECHNICALLY supposed to monitor your guys software and stuff and blah blah blah but I actually connected with Layla on the way here-who is super sweet by the way-and Im actually just gonna fix Spider-Byteâs connectivity issues here so she can get back to it. Yâknow since sheâs more knowledgeable with everything here. I would probably just mess something up.â
Despite the fact that you spoke about a mile a minute, and it was obvious Gwen was struggling to keep up, Hobie hung onto every word.
You moved like you had been here before despite this being your first time even stepping foot on the premises. You just moved with this sense of self confidence that had the aura of the room commanded by your presence alone. If you hadnât told them your Earth just naturally saturated Hobie would have just assumed your essence was just too potent that it leaked off you and onto whatever you touched.
You were leagues above him when it came to the coolness factor.
Watching as you moved around the consoles via spinny chair (when did that get there?), each screen popped up and immediately began to run code. Hobie liked to pride himself on being a tech wiz, but this was levels beyond what he knew how to do. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from you.
But as he watched your hands, he noticedâŚwere you TAKING code off the computers too?
Oh, that just brought a smile to his face.
As Gwen wandered over to the other side of the console to watch the miles of code run across the screen, Hobie took the opportunity to have a moment with you on the opposite side of the room.
Right when you went to shoot across him (and might he add it was almost like you had spider like reflexes with how you moved around on this thing), his hand went to grab the back of your chair.
Pulling the chair back, he watched as you rubber banded back into the seat and stood straight up. He leaned over your shoulder to look at the screen in front of you both. His hand reached over to tap a few keys and pull up the results onto just this screen.
Ignoring how his spider senses were shooting down his spine at an all time high with how close he was to you, he looked at you with a smirk.
âDid you just âalf inch some of our code?â
âIm sorry?â
Leaning in closer, he pulled the thumb drive out of only this terminal and held it up. Your cheeks turned a dark red in realization to being caught, and you crossed your arm as you started at him.
âYou know whaâ I saidâ
Turning quickly, you pulled ANOTHER flash drive out from your pocket and stuck it into the port. The downloading resumed, and much to Hobieâs surprise you stood and snatched the thumb drive from him.
âFirst of all, I am part of the ââourââ and second of allâŚit's none of your business.â
Suddenly multiple of the screens, well practically all of the screens in the room flashed green. With a pat of his shoulder, you rolled over to every computer and pulled out each flashdrive. Hobie countedâŚ12!
He covered his mouth, trying to keep his cool disposition as he watched you quickly shove each one in your bag. You little grifter youâŚhe would definitely have to find out what Earth you were fromâŚ
With the push of a button, you turned to them with a smile as you placed your hands on your hips.
âAlrighty! My work here is doneâŚwait..,â
Turning around, you pressed the enter key on the computer behind you only to whip right back around smile as all the screens returned to normal.
You had been here all but twenty minutes and you managed to do solve all of their problems and then some.
âNow Im done! Gwen, you have my contact coordinate. Call me if you need me at all.â
Your eyes raked over Hobie, and you couldnât help but feel a flutter in your chest as he watched you carefully. The hair on your arms stood when he had leaned over you earlier. You could tell from his punk aesthetic and impressive hair that he was definitely anarchy incarnateâŚ
He intrigued you. You were sure the data files you had picked up from the archives would barely answer every question you had about him.
You would have to push off your paper mache project for tonightâŚ
âIt was nice meeting you Hobie! Hope we can meet again sometime. Im like, basically free all the timeâŚLater!â
Signing off with a peace sign, your neon portal opened again and closed in an instant as you fell into it.
âSee what I mean, eccentric.â
âI thought she was pretty cool.â
Walking over to where you just stood, Hobie ran his fingers over where you had last touched hoping to catch some of the light leftover.
It was then he noticed you had left behind one of your thumb drives. It was definitely yours, a bright neon yellow covered in white glitter that fell off as he picked it up. His other hand came down to pick up the tag on the string connected to it.
âOops! Guess I left behind this VERY important thumb drive. Mind returning it to me? I like really need it for super duper important chair stuffâŚEarth 1618, Kings, New York City things y'know.
â (Y/N)â
#hobie x reader#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown#spiderpunk x reader#spider punk#x reader#across the spiderverse#oneshot#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse x reader#marvel x reader
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Ra looks annoyed at this, but not murderous at the very least. In recent times, a god can't be picky when a mortal accidentally comes in, with their lack of faith in the past few centuries...visits and talking to mortals were far and inbetween.
"It does not matter, where you are. You will forget as soon as you leave."
As a precaution.
"But if you desire nothing...then ask another question. The sun will alwyas be here and so will I." For he is the sun.
âOkay, okay, not wasting any time here!â
Sheesh! Talk about being hit on the blindside! To have the sun go from a kid to this big scary guy is really something else; and heâs supposed to eat this guy some day?!? Talk about some serious indigestion!
But, wait a minute...portal? Is there a portal he came out of? He canât sense anything at all...
âProblem is, truth be told, I donât...have a wish. Like I said, I dunno how I got here. I sure didnât do anything all on my own, either, I donât mess around with that kinda stuff!â His teleportation skills are very reliable, after all! But he canât go showinâem off here, either! Damn it all, heâs gotta be in hell!
âErm...truth be told, sir,â it kills him to have to pretend like he respects this guy, âcould you just tell me where I am?â Cuz maybe that can help...
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