#SIGH. the things i do to feed myself
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you ever think about how much strain is prolly on the mc … although you think you’re somewhere familiar, with people whom you know and love. they don’t actually know you like You know them … and you only have one person who you truly do know and trust.
extra mimir sleeping peacefully:
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i got brainworms of hc that perhaps mc getting terrorizes by nightmares and going to solomon about it sicne theyre prolly. A. Little fucked up from whats been going on esp when it happened outta nowhere 😭😭😭😭😭 like the new card got me thinking abt how maybe solomon has comforted them before….. SORRY SOLOMON ALSO GOT ME FUCKED UP!!!!
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me solomon#obey me mc#obey me fanart#om!#I LOVE YOU SOLOMON…..#solperi#i soent longer on the sketch rather than coloring this time#MY BACK HRUTS#i draw skrunkly#my comics are becomign longer……#SIGH. the things i do to feed myself#i gotta grt that solomon content out there#GOOD FUCKING NIGHT !!!!!!! IM TIRED#Anybody like how it got brighter up till sol hugged peri.#Ok ill shut up now#AND YES. I WILL KEEP DRAWWING HIM ALMOST HALF NAKED#AFT THAT GODDAMN CARD!!!!
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#meg talks#just venting#im in so much pain it’s not even funny#im sorry for being inactive for so long i really was not anticipating this#the good news is ive made a lot of progress on compiling the spreadsheet for vetted gaza funds#so that once ive cleared out the dms i can add additional mods and get the ball rolling properly again#the bad news is that my insomnia is back and my pain is getting so bad i can barely get out of bed or eat#i don’t think it’s related to the fundraising work so much as… everything else -_-#i didn’t want to be out of a job for this long#and having to send so many applications and make so many fucking unhelpful phone calls a day to doctors and help centers…#idk. this isn’t me complaining abt the fundraiser work if anything it’s the only rewarding thing im doing rn#but im frustrated w myself and with my body and with. everything#it’s not just my own family relying on me anymore#and that makes it hard to deal with all this. like i could be using my time and energy way better than this.#but instead im playing phone tag to try and prove that im disabled and need to feed my brothers.#im just cjdhxgxjcncj sigh. whatever if i can just get over this hump then the rest will be downhill#and my friend is going to help me w cooking this weekend so that me and my bros can eat better#so hopefully that will give me a boost too#idr where i was going w this. probably nowhere jdgdjdnxnc im just miserable rn bc i can’t sleep and my leg hurts
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#personal#headmate shenanigans#z: It appears that with your return home you've picked up some old Habits.#z: It's not a Bad Thing. But i worry.#i: :/#z: Yeah You're Fucked. Sorry.#j: i just want to finish stuff. i feel like getting organized to the fullest is a good start#j: being organized makes me feel good :)#z: It is good to be organized. Just try not to Over Do Everything.#z: You've Already Broke Once.#j: wait thats not fair it wasnt just meee#i: well 🥰 what can i say its been a while since i felt so much pain!!#z: Yeah its Not Surprising. This is a Terrible Place for You Specifically. I fear More Painful Nights are coming..#z: ugh. not to mention the coming months....#z: We will make it work.#j: I am just going to bury myself in work until the time passes by so fast were happy again#z: And Thats Whats Concerning the Most... Sigh.#j: im going to ginish the ref. i really want to show off to be honest and relate to the other DID OSDD friends#z: Don't get hurt if No One gives you Attention on it okay? i know that discourages you a little.#z: over time discouragement after discouragement you feed the... what the hell are Calling them. These Emotion Demons.#okay time for beb#zzzz
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Opinions on Dream? :^
SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me
okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')
or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!
LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)
plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.
it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(
always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?
not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')
hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333
#ask#rambling#delete later?#probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable#i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH#like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'(#i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots?#i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons#to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him#i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team???#maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real#it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG#i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent#and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner????#i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS#they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE#especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates#UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible#and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses#jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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ive spent my entire sunday reading ao3 and ingesting ungodly amounts of sugar
#clemont babbles#and not even in the teehee sweets and candy way#it's in the 'god this drink has 40 grams of sugar in 500ml' way#the 'im eating too much sodium and sugar' way#if i wasnt lazy and was willing to leave the house for groceries i wouldve made mushroom sausage risotto today#with a little truffle oil [old stock]#sigh#i need. to find ways to lower the activation energy required to feed myself#and to maybe start lightening my hand on seanonings#but i need to arrange my food schedule and do chores and do things in certain specific ways#edit: i realise a very important thing i should add - eating this much sugar makes me feel gross. in the i physically feel some nausea way#combining that with 12 hours of screentime and ah. yeah.#I'll make more wholesome meals tomorrow i guess#no edtwt rhetoric here fuck outta here with that bs
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The U.S. seems only to understand pregnancy as a distinct and fragile state. For the expectant, we issue reams of proscriptions—more than can reasonably be followed. We tell them what to eat and what not to eat. We ask that they visit the doctor regularly and that they not do any strenuous activity. We give them our seats on the bus. Finally, once they’ve actually undergone the physical trauma of it, their bodies thoroughly depleted, we beckon them most immediately to rejoin the rest of us. One New York mother summed up her recent postpartum experience this way: “You’re not hemorrhaging? OK, peace, see you later.”
The Chinese traditionally adhere to 30 days of restful confinement—another week for a C-section—during which time moms are meant to consume lactation-inducing soups and herbal tonics and abstain from sex and cold water. In Mexico, the ritualized interlude, or the cuarentena, goes for 40 days, or long enough for the womb to return to its place. Balinese women are not allowed to enter the kitchen until the baby’s cord stump has fallen. Dutch maternity nurses make postpartum visits every day for the eight days after childbirth, and in France, as elsewhere, new moms spend nearly a week in hospital.
Always, the mothers are educated as they convalesce; they’re taught to breast-feed, to manage baby rashes and bath time and sore nipples. Rarely are they first to respond to the infant’s shrieking. In 2011 I visited a luxury postpartum center in Taipei, where women of means (and who would rather not call on their mothers-in-law, as is custom) spend a month in recovery. When I asked Tsai Ya-hui, who had given birth to her first child three weeks earlier, what she did all day in her high-end suite, she answered: “Internet and sleep. That’s about it.” She looked more refreshed than I did.
There are elements of these postpartum practices (the consumption of foods rich in iron) that are common-sensical, and there are others (tightly wrapping the belly with a postnatal girdle; consuming distilled rice wine in place of water; extremely limited exposure to the sun in the first month), the usefulness and safety of which are debated by the medical community. But the thing to focus on here is the idea of a culturally recognized and accepted postpartum rest period. With these rituals comes an acknowledgment, familial and federal, that the woman needs relief more at this time than at any other—especially if she has a career to return to—and that it takes weeks, sometimes months, to properly heal from childbirth. An acknowledgement that overexertion after labor could lead to depression, infection, increased uterine bleeding, or prolapse. An acknowledgment that the postpartum stretch shouldn’t feel, as it did for so many of the American women who took part in my informal survey, like one long sleepless night.
“A culturally accepted postpartum period sends a powerful message that’s not being sent in this country,” said Dr. Margaret Howard, the director of the Day Hospital for Postpartum Depression in Providence, Rhode Island. “American mothers internalize the prevailing attitude—‘I should be able to handle this myself; women have babies every day’—and if they’re not up and functioning, they feel like there’s something wrong with them.” A colleague of Howard’s, the daughter of a pediatrician, brought her prepregnancy jeans to the delivery room, expecting to slip into them once the baby was out.
I spent part of an afternoon with some new mothers in Park Slope, an affluent Brooklyn neighborhood that is frequently and teasingly associated with over-the-top urban parenting. As a group, they’d received probably the best postpartum care that this country has to offer, which they detailed over the squeals and sighs of their nursing infants. Sophia Sotto had hired a postpartum doula, but didn’t feel comfortable “asking her to do the dishes in the sink.” She remembered: “I still couldn’t manage when to shower, when to eat.” Sarah Hake had an episiotomy and still, like every woman in America, was asked to come in for a 15-minute checkup six weeks after leaving the delivery room. “Six weeks is too late,” she said. The rest murmured their agreement.
All had cooked; all had cleaned. Asked Emily Lillywhite, “If you don’t get up and do it, who will?” One woman had taken an especially long walk two days after delivering, because she wanted to “feel normal again.” Most had been afraid to survey the wreck between their legs, and those who did look hadn’t been able to tell if they were healing well or not. “Google became my very good friend,” said Ruth Margolis. “Yes,” Sotto broke in. “Your postpartum support is the Internet.”
I heard stories of women vacuuming upon arriving home after a day and a half in the hospital; of new moms waiting until the six-week checkup to make their postnatal complications known; of visitors turning up and instantly asking for coffee; of lactation consultants who were meant to, but did not, take insurance; of a postpartum doula who, when she was summoned by a mother one month postlabor, said, “You’re too far along to need me.”
A popular site that advises women on how to find and work with a baby nurse counsels: “Ask your baby nurse what she likes to eat and stock up at the supermarket.” It is true that hiring a postpartum helper is far less expensive in, say, Hong Kong than in the U.S. But the problem is not one of money. The problem is that no one recognizes the new mother as a recuperating person, and she does not see herself as one. For the mourning or the injured, we will activate a meal tree. For the woman who is torturously fatigued, who has lost one 10th of her body’s blood supply, who can scarcely pee for the stitches running up her perineum, we will not.
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I am a little creature largely made up of anxieties. There have been times in my life when it was worse. It’s currently significantly better. This story takes place at a time when it was pretty bad.
Food was a prison for me. I moved out early with very little idea of how to feed or care for myself. Every meal was a question mark. For three years I had Brendan doing most of the cooking but when things ended between us I moved in with some other friends. I suddenly had no way to feed myself again.
I was working at the sex shop and living with all my coworkers; a premise that would make sitcom writers weep. In that house, at the age of 24, I learned how to fry an egg. It was the only thing I knew how to do but by god, I mastered egg frying. I was so proud. I could now have one stress free meal a day of an egg on toast.
The problem was my roommates. Living with three other people is already tough but messes pile up alarmingly fast, especially in the kitchen. No one sees the whole mess as their responsibility but the one person who’s responsibility it absolutely wasn’t was mine, as I only ever cooked eggs. Glaciers moved quicker than the dishes got done, mountains of greasy unwashed dish ware were fixtures across the counters.
My friends occasionally cooked for me and each time I happily cleaned all the resulting dishes. This seemed fair.
But on my own I only used three implements for my egg. When I finished with my spatula, pan, and plate, I carefully washed them and set them to dry. Every time I came back to the kitchen there was nothing clean.
Crusted on ketchup, dried food, and unsavory residues plagued everything I needed to touch. So I ended up doing all the dishes twice, once to use my three implements and again once I was done.
I started to realize I’d come home, see the filthy pile of dishes, then go to bed without eating because I didn’t have the energy to wash it all. So I finally addressed my roommates about it. Please, I beseeched them, can these three things always be clean. I cannot function like this, and eating is already hard for me.
The answer returned: no. My request was deemed unreasonable and a counteroffer was made to turn off the small space heater I ran in my room in exchange for them magnanimously cleaning up after themselves. I declined, as my bones ached with cold everywhere except my room since no one else wanted the heat on. The impasse continued. I went to be hungry.
I noodled on it. I schemed. I plotted. And on my day off I went to a thrift shop and acquired a nice little pan and spatula. I squirreled them away into my closet. The plan was just to wash and dry it after meals and keep it in my room.
This is not how it went down. On day one of my pan coming home one of my roommates popped into my room to chat, glanced into my three quarters shut closet and immediately said, “What is that?”
I sighed and admitted my plan. All three roommates roundly condemned my plan as extremely passive aggressive. I tried once again to explain that I wasn’t eating, but my secret pan was now a source of contention, a precious resource held back from the collective.
Their discontent reached a fever pitch and I finally declared, “Fine! I will put my pan in the kitchen. On one condition. If I ever find this pan dirty, ever, I will scrape whatever is left on it into your bedding. I swear to god, if I ever come home to it being dirty there will be a reckoning.”
Terms were agreed.
The first month or two went okay. On the third month I awoke to eat breakfast and found my precious pan sullied. I grabbed it and marched upstairs. Betty was named as the culprit. I strode into Betty’s room and stood over her sleeping form like the vengeful ghost of dishes past.
“If you don’t get up and clean this right now I’m going to dump it on your bed.”
Betty groggily regarded me. “Seriously?”
“I have never been more serious.”
“It’s one time, can’t you just clean it yourself?”
“No. You promised.”
With much huffing and grousing Betty arose from bed and tromped downstairs, hastily cleaning my pan while I watched. “Happy?” She demanded.
I was. I made my egg, cheerfully cleaning the pan afterward, leaving it to dry.
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i think i’m making progress until i make a mistake that isn’t really a mistake since it’s a result of impulsive but cognizant action and then proceed to get so anxious and regretful that i nearly throw up and also immediately do things out of that panic that make everything worse
#big sigh#im trying not to beat myself up about it or feed into negative self talk#i could also be catastrophizing#sometimes my feelings feel like a burden#and that makes me feel like a burden and a mistake and an idiot#but i am just a human full of love who has no clue what i’m doing bc its my first time living (to my knowledge) and i’m still learning#im also literally only 23 like its okay#im entitled to a few minor relatively harmless mistakes while i figure shit out#and tbh the only thing/person ive harmed is myself and only bc i feel shame and distress
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Still You Want Me
Main Masterlist
Read on A03!
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pregnancy, a little angst if you squint, pre-established relationship.
Summary/Warnings: Dean's fought the worst evil in the world, but only one thing has really managed to scare him. His pregnant wife.
Author's Note: Request from an anon!! I got emotional with it, and I'm very sorry about that but I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!
Word Count: 2.9k
“We got three hours left.” Dean returned to the parked Impala, sorting through the bags in his hands. “But we can make it back in two if I-“
Sam shook his head, taking his bag of bird feed—trail mix, but the pointless kind without any M&Ms—from Dean with a frown. “Two’s a bit stretch, don’t you think? I mean even for you, Dean, and it’s not like we’re in a rush-“
“You’re not in a rush, Sammy.” Dean muttered, dumping the rest of the snacks in the backseat. “I got a pregnant wife who’s left me three voicemails about how she’s either gonna castrate me or give me head, and-“
“Gross, dude.” Sam walked around the car, making a scrunched bitch-face of disgusting. “All you needed to say was that’s she’s got mood swings-“
“Don’t call them mood swings.” Dean dropped behind Baby’s wheel, saying Her name with a sigh. “She hates that. And you can’t charm your way out of like I can.”
“I think I could.” Sam shrugged. “She likes me more.”
“She’s my freakin’ wife-“
“She loves you.” Sam grabbed his phone as they pulled out of the lot. “She likes me. I’ve never been threatened with castration-“
“Yet.” Dean muttered. “Cas thought he was safe until he got a shade of yellow that was too red for the nursery. I mean, yellow is yellow, Sammy, but she threatened to cut off his wings-“
Sam frowned. “I don’t think she could do that-“
“Trust me, man.” Dean sighed, running a hand over his face. “She’d find a way.”
Sam just nodded, because they both knew Dean was right. He was pretty goddamn sure that, if She wanted—or if Dean pissed Her off enough—She’d figure out how to send him somewhere worse than the Empty, bring him back, then start sobbing and apologizing on Her knees all within a ten-minute span. Then She’d probably give him a blowjob, he’d saying the exact wrong dirty talk, and she’d bite off Little Dean. Shit, he’d only been gone four days for the hunt, but half that time had been spent on the phone, reassuring Her he was being safe, the hunt wasn’t a part of any world-ending scheme from a new big bad, and he’d be home soon. The time that Dean wasn’t on the phone, Sam was, promising he wouldn’t let anything happen, that Dean was sleeping well and looking at the baby names list She’d sent, and that he’d called Eileen so she wouldn’t worry either.
Annoyingly, Sam had been keeping his promises to Her. Dean read the baby names list because Sam wouldn’t let him leave the table until he did, Eileen had gotten two calls, and Dean was being safer than he’d ever been in his freaking life. At this point, he was pretty sure the pregnancy was just one long scam to make him take care of himself. He was drinking and hunting less after Her breakdown that she’d lose him, driving a little slower—just a little, he wasn’t a blind old lady—after the ice incident got him the silent treatment for three days, and he’d even tried some of Sam’s rabbit food. He’d spat it out, but he’d tried it. For Her, for the baby, and because he was terrified for his life.
Dean loved Her more than every pie in the freaking universe, but She was freaking terrifying right now. She might be the only thing he’d ever really been afraid of. Planes he could avoid. Ghosts and monster he could kill. Hell, even Lucifer had been better. At least the son of a bitch hadn’t begged to give Dean a hand job, then started sobbing because Dean tried to move it to sex and they didn’t feel pretty enough for sex. And if Lucifer had done that, Dean wouldn’t have cared. He didn’t give a shit about Lucifer.
But he gave a shit about Her. Every time She cried it felt like someone was stabbing him, but he had less and less of a damn clue for how to help her the more pregnant She got. She’d said she felt ugly, he’d told Her she was beautiful, and that her tits looked better than ever, and She’d started accusing him of not loving her tits before. He’d missed one phone call and She’d sent Cas to teleport him home. He’d gotten the wrong candy bar and She’d had a breakdown about him not loving her enough to get the right one.
That last one was why the gas station had taken so long. Dean had triple checked every single snack he’d bought, and added a few extras just in case she changed Her mind. He’d even had Cas text him a second list after She’d told him all her requests over the phone, out of fear that he’d missed even a single one. Even now, on the road, he was running through everything one last time, because he’d gotten five different Gatorade colors, but maybe She’d want a sixth, or two of the same color, or only one color and he’d get yelled at because She didn’t even like orange-
“Hey!” Sam pulled Dean out of his thoughts with a shout. “Phone!”
“Wha-“
Sam said Her name, holding Dean’s phone in front of his face. “She’s calling you-“
“I got that.” Dean snatched the phone, shooting Sam a glare. “And that’s not safe, Sammy. Gonna get us fuckin’ killed-“
“Yeah, sure, Dean.” Sam just shrugged—even though Dean was right, that was dangerous—and nodded to the phone. “I’d pick up if I were you-“
“Shut up.” Dean muttered, ignoring Sam’s laugh as he answered the call. “Hey, baby, we’re-“
“Dean!” Her voice was a half-shriek through the phone, and Dean winced. “Holy shit, you’re alive, that’s good-“
“Course I’m alive, I promised I would be-“
“But it’s not up to you!” She was pacing. Her voice had grown frantic and high, so She was pacing. “Monsters don’t ask before they kill you, and they’d defiantly want to kill you, and Sam told me he’d take that bullet but I don’t want him to die either, and you’re both amazing hunters but if you die now, you can’t come back, and I’d miss you, I miss you now, why aren’t you home, you dick, I fucking hate you-“
Dean swallowed, saying Her name slowly as Sam snickered at his side. Asshole. “Take a breath-“
“Don’t tell me how to breathe, Winchester, I’ve been breathing my whole fucking life-“
“I know, sweetheart, I have too-“
“You’ve never had to breathe while pregnant-“
“And I’m not planning to, ever, but- just listen-“
“We should get you pregnant, it’s only fair-“
Sam started to cackle, Her voice loud enough he could obviously hear every word. It wasn’t really helpful.
“That’s not gonna happen,” Dean muttered, giving Sam a death glare that just made him laugh more. “Sweetheart, we’ll be there soon. I promise.“
“Okay, but don’t go too fast, if you’re far, because you promised me you’d drive carefully, and you need to be safer. I don’t want to lose you.” She started to sniffle. Shit. “I can’t lose you, De, I need you, the baby needs you, and Sam and Cas are cool but they’re not you and I want you and the baby wants you. It wants you more, it hates when your gone, it just keeps kicking me and if you die I’ll be a terrible mother with a baby who hates me-“
Dean snapped Her name, pressing the Impala’s pedal to the floor. He needed to be home soon. “Listen to me. I’m not gonna do anything stupid like die, and you’re never gonna lose me. Plus, our baby won’t hate you. It’s half me. It can’t.”
There was a slightly static hum from the other side, and Dean sighed.
“I know you miss me, baby, and we can get you whatever you’re craving, but-“
“I do miss you, De.” Her voice was soft and pleading through the phone.
But it wasn’t Her crying voice. That was her-
“I miss your cock, too. I miss touching you, and why is your bed so stupid and big-“
Dean chuckled, shaking off the whiplash. “Because I’m stupid and big-“
He could hear Her pout through the phone. “Don’t say that. You’re not stupid, and our baby’s gonna be a genius-“
“Because they’ll get their brains from you, pretty girl.”
“Shut up.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Dean leaned slightly forward, checking a highway sign. “Hour and a half, okay? Then I’ll be home.”
“Fine.” She mumbled. “I love you. Be careful.”
“I love you too, baby. And I’m always safe.” Dean waited for Her sigh, letting her hang up first. He’d learned to do that the hard way. “Not a word, Sammy, or I’ll shoot you.”
Sam raised his hands, palms up. “I didn’t even open my- got it.”
Dean turned his scowl back to the road, and he could be safe and get home in an hour. Both could be possible, and She’d never have to know that he’d been going 15 over the speed limit. And if She started to catch on, Dean could distract Her with his hands and dick and mouth, because—as hot as she was when she was pissed—Sam said stress wasn’t good for the baby.
They made it forty-five minutes of mostly safe driving—Dean’s hands gripping the wheel and listening to the music at a deafening volume, Sam texting Eileen and pretending he wasn’t bothered by the deafening music—before another incident.
Cas appeared in the back seat, said Her name instead of hello, Dean—already a bad sign—and looked almost genuinely scared. Dean had never seen his face do that before—red and sheepish like a child being scolded by a dinosaur—and it was a little off-putting.
He was used to Cas doing this enough to not swerve off the road, but he was still pissed. “Fucking hell, Cas, a warning would be nice-“
Cas frowned, then leaned forward, turning down the music. “Did you not hear what I said.”
“No, the music was on, I know you said-“
Cas said Her name again with Dean. “It was her message. I would, ah, prefer not to repeat it.”
Sam blinked, turning in his seat. “Why, is she-“
“She is well.” Cas’ eyes stayed on Dean in the rearview mirror. “She is feeling some very… confusing emotions. Towards Dean.”
Sam frowned. “Confusing? How-“
“She told me to relay to Dean that she hates him, and she hates hunting, and if he’s not home in forty-five minutes she’ll leave him, but she can’t leave him because she loves him more than life and she cannot live without him. Specifically his smile, voice, hands, stupid flirting that did this in the first place, and,” Cas swallowed, his voice dropping slightly as his face grew red. “Big cock.”
Dean smirked slightly—she was a menace, but damn it if he didn’t love his girl—as Sam paled next to him.
“By this,” Cas mumbled. “I assume she was referring to the baby. Which is in good health. I checked this morning.”
“Good. Thanks, Cas, but,” Dean sighed. “This could’ve been a phone call-“
“I was instructed to deliver it in person. To make sure you were safe, and driving carefully.” Cas leaned forward with a frown. “The speed limit on this highway is meant to be-“
“I know what the speed limit is.” Dean grumbled, refusing to ease his foot off the gas. “I’m tryin’ to get home, Cas.”
“I believe she would prefer you get home slower, rather than sacrificing your safety.” Cas let out a long sigh. “Although, I will admit I’d prefer you return quickly. I am not equipped to handle a pregnant woman alone, despite reading all of the books on the subject I could find. And, uh,” Cas said Her name with a red face. “Is frightening in this state.”
Dean sighed. “Thirty minutes, dude, can you hold down the fort-“
“He could take you now?” Sam cut in with a small frown. “Cas could zap you back to the bunker, and I could drive Baby home.”
“Sammy-“
Cas nodded. “I agree with Sam’s plan. If you could pull over, Dean-“
“I’m not gonna pull over!” Dean snapped. “I can get back just fine myself!”
“But I could-“
“You won’t always be there, Cas.” Dean grunted through his teeth. “I gotta be able to take care of my family by myself. Shit, I’m doing all the safety bullcrap for it, and I’m hunting less.” He said Her name, his grip on the wheel painful. “She’s gotta know I can take care of her, and the baby. I said I’d drive home, so-“
Sam cut Dean off a sigh. “Dude, she’s gonna care way more that you’re home with her.”
“Sam is correct.” Cas said, and Dean could feel his gaze through the mirror. “I attempted to make her breakfast this morning, and she started crying. When asked, she told me that you make it better.” Cas frowned. “It was cereal.”
“C’mon, man. Let Cas take you home.”
Dean glanced over to find Sam giving him puppy eyes—the bitch—and groaned. “Fine. But if I see one scratch on Baby-“
“You’ll kill me, yeah, I know.” Sam unbuckled as Dean pulled over, not sounding nearly threatened enough. “Let’s move.”
It took a minute for Dean to get all the snacks, but the moment the last bag was in his arms Cas grabbed him by the shoulder, the world because a spinning rush, and he was home.”
“Dean!”
He was barely on steady legs when She slammed into him, sending him stumbling slightly back as his arms wrapped around her, careful not to push too far into the baby bump.
“Hey, Sweetheart. I heard you missed me-“
“Of course I missed you, you asshole!” She pushed off of him, shoving his chest slightly. “Do you have any idea how many pies are just rotting in the fridge for you! You said the hunt would be fast, Dean, but I was stuck alone for four fucking days-“
Dean frowned. “Wasn’t Cas-“
“Cas doesn’t count!” She screamed, and over her shoulder, Cas didn’t look that offended. He’d probably gotten this outburst—and the following, tearful apology—at least twice already. “Cas isn’t you! He didn’t knock me up and then leave me-“
Dean thought about pointing out that he had not left Her, but thought better of it and let her keep shouting. She usually calmed herself down.
Usually.
“And Cas is an angel, and he’s been okay, and I feel so bad because I was such a bitch to him, but he deserved it! He wasn’t you! And I missed you and I hate you, Dean, I fucking hate you, why weren’t you home-“
Dean caught Her hands in his, pressing a gentle kiss to Her knuckles. “I’m home now, baby-“
“I know.” She whispered, crumbling in half a second into Dean, clinging to him like a koala. “And I missed you so much, De. I can’t do the laundry with this stupid bump, I can’t do anything, I’m useless and I’m a bitch and I think made Cas cry-“
“I’d pay to see you make Cas cry,” Dean muttered Her name, running a slow hand through her hair. “And you’re not useless. You’re growing a person, that freaking awesome and insane-“
She tilted her head back, pretty eyes glossy and wide on Dean’s. “But what if I mess it up? What if I fuck the baby up and you leave me-“
“I’m never gonna leave you.”
“But I’ve been mean-“
“You’re always mean, baby.” Dean grinned at her, letting his affection show in his voice. “And it’s always pretty freakin’ hot. And you aren’t gonna fuck up the baby, and I’m not gonna leave you, but,” he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “If you wanna make Sammy cry a little more, I think he’ll deserve it.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling again. “I’m not making Sam cry-“
“He said you had mood swings.”
She gasped, hitting Dean’s chest. “You’re a snitch-“
“Gotta spread the love somehow.” Dean shrugged, squeezing his hands on Her as he dropped his voice down. “But I can think of a few other ways, just you and me, to spread some better love.”
She flushed—already putty in Dean’s arms—and almost dragged him back to their room.
And this made it worth it. All the screaming and flying objects and threats, all the living in cautious fear in his own damn home, was more than worth it for this. Not just the awesome sex—sex was always awesome, sex with Her was better than almost anything, and sex with pregnant Her was what Dean imagined crack was like—but the way that, in the end, She smiled at him no matter what. She smiled and giggled and moaned, proving to Dean in a million ways both between the sheets and after that she didn’t really hate him, and he got to rest his head on her stomach and feel a small kick near his brow. Her fingers combed through his hair peacefully, all her noises made of content, and everything was more than worth it.
Worth pushing through the worst of the screaming and moods—just like She’d pushed through all of his world-saving bullshit—to see Her peaceful face as she slept by his side. Worth letting Sam drive the Impala just once, so Dean could get home faster.
Worth the family he was finally getting to have, and being here with them.
End Note: Sam Winchester once again being a true trooper in my stories.
Title from Next to Me by Imagine Dragons
If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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#x reader#reader insert#romance#canon typical violence#jensen ackles#jensen ackles characters#godmadeaterribleerror#dean winchester x you#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#sam winchester#dean x reader#dean x you#dean fanfiction#dean if you want a hug I'm free saturday#request#tw blood#pregnancy#tooth rotting fluff#fluff
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Welcome back (Front Man / Hwang In-Ho x reader)
summary: When In-ho returns from the game, he wants to see his lover fall apart under his touch.
tags: secret relationship, established relationship, fem!reader, pregnant!reader, soft smut
note: I know, I know, a lot of you don’t want kids (including myself) so we don’t want stories where reader is pregnant, but this time she is because of reasons. Can be read as a standalone, but here’s the first piece.
When you see In-ho approaching the control room on the camera feed, you don’t hesitate to turn on your heels and head to his private room where he will most certainly go to change into his usual Front Man attire. You need to see him, you need to exchange at least a few words with him before you lose your mind for good.
You’ve been needy, clingy even, ever since you found out you are pregnant. And him? He’s been overprotective in return, doing whatever he has to to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. The way he softens around you has always been something you loved, but he definitely took it to another level lately.
And sure enough, the moment he steps into the suite, his eyes fall on you, maybe a shade darker from the need that fills his mind, and he closes the gap without much hesitation. It’s so nice to feel his arms around you again, so you bury your face into the crook of his neck and let out a long sigh of relief.
“I’m glad you’re back,” you whisper to him.
He leans back to look at you, a small smile playing on his lips as he does so. “I told you there’s no reason to worry.” Before you know it, he grabs your hips and turns you around so your back is pressed to his chest, and when he kisses the crook of your neck, you can’t help but let out a quiet moan. “Are you both okay?”
The best you can do is humming in agreement, because the way he runs his hand all over your body is close to making your brain malfunction. His hand slowly slips under your pants, his thick fingers teasing you as you melt into his touch. Your skin is on fire from desire, but you know he has to stop, there’s no time to play now.
Just as you expected, he lets out a sigh and pulls his hand away. “I need to get dressed, Gi-hun has to be captured alive,” he tells you as he lets go and goes to the bed where you already prepared his clothes.
You blame your raging hormones for the way you’re staring at him. When he takes off the dirty t-shirt and tosses it on the floor, you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from making unholy sounds, because his body is a work of art you want to look at all day. The moment his eyes lock with yours, he lets out a quiet chuckle and keeps going as if nothing happened.
He knows what’s on your mind. He always does.
Soon he heads into your direction, mask already in hand, and stops for a brief moment to give you a quick kiss on the lips. “Stay here. I’ll take care of a few things, then come back to you, okay? I promise I’ll make you feel good,” he says, and you believe that he’ll keep his word.
The quiet of the room that’s left behind is nerve-wrecking, this is why you head to the computer in the office to take a look at the camera feeds, just to make sure you know what’s happening to him. It’s good to stay in the loop, because who knows when someone dares to ask you questions about such little details. In-ho would step in, of course, protecting you as always, but there will be times when you have to defend yourself alone.
Even before he showed you his face for the first time, the two of you had been working in perfect harmony, with him focusing on the game running smoothly, and you taking care of minor issues that didn’t need his attention. Sometimes these two threads intertwined, but it only made the pair of you more efficient.
Your jobs didn’t only require your attention at the time of the games, the preparations and reports afterwards were equally important, and you had a much bigger role during these times. The old man trusted you, so In-ho decided to trust you too, and he complimented you several times to your surprise, even guided you at the beginning until you learned everything.
It was some time before the old man’s death that he sent you your new uniform. When he called you to explain, he said you couldn’t wear that black jumpsuit with the square mask forever, and since the both of you had more responsibilities after what happened, it was only natural to give you a look that would be in sync with his. After all, you were partners now.
There was a tension between you, but not the bad kind, it was more like an invisible string that pulled you closer to each other, and you both found yourselves looking at the other more often. When one of the VIPs made a move on you during your second game, he stepped in to inform him he needed you to be focused on your job, essentially saving you from that disgusting moron.
Strangely, the old man knew about the unaddressed connection between the two of you. When he was on his deathbed, he asked the both of you to come see him, and while you brought your mask with you, In-ho decided to show up without it, so in the end, you put the mask away and let him take a better look at you for the first time.
That’s when the pull became stronger, when he began to invite you to his place for a drink, saying he just wanted to talk about work. More often than not, you found yourselves talking about anything but work, though, and things turned in a different direction eventually as you gave into that spark between you.
Once he’s done and headed back to you based on the route he picked, you lie down on the bed to stretch your limbs and close your eyes for a second. Despite him promising something more exciting than just lying in bed, at this point you are so tired mentally that all you want is snuggling up to him and enjoying the quiet of his room.
The door opens when he finally arrives, but he only shows himself after a few minutes. He left his coat and mask behind, and even poured himself a glass of whisky that he now places on the table near the wall. He looks down at you with a smile, but instead of giving you a kiss, he moves to the foot of the bed and wraps his fingers around your knees.
Your heart is pounding from the anticipation, because you can tell what he’s planning to do now. His eyes give away what’s on his mind, the way they are focused on you, hungry and determined, his brain probably going through each step he carefully planned one last time. Spending days apart isn’t new, but considering what he experienced there, you aren’t surprised that he seems this starved.
Before you know it, he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, then kneels down as he painfully slowly moves his hands up your thighs. You prop on your elbows to get a better look at him, and you meet his gaze that’s fixed on your face as he moves to unbutton your pants, then carefully pulls it off of you along with your panties.
Once he throws them away, his lips press a kiss on your left knee, then moves up towards your inner thigh, inching closer and closer to where you desperately need him. He knows exactly what strings to pull to make you beg, and you don’t disappoint him, you soon start to ask him for more, even if you’re not in the right state of mind to know what exactly it is that you want.
In-ho lets out a laugh, seemingly enjoying the way you’re already falling apart for him, and when he rubs his thumb over your clit, you reach out to him, your fingers grabbing his hand that’s resting on your stomach to hold you down. “Having fun?” he asks you before his lips brush along your folds, his tongue darting out for a moment to tease you.
You try to move your hips in an attempt to get more, but he pins you to the bed with ease. It’s getting painful, really, the way he’s messing with your head, even though he knows how much you need him. “Please,” you ask, your voice nothing more but a thin, whining sound.
“Is this all you’ve got for me?” he mocks you, then pushes a finger inside you. The moment he hears your moan, he pushes in another one, fucking you slowly, enjoying the way you’re once again trying to move your hips to meet his moves. “I love how sensitive you’ve been lately, and how easy it became to push you over the edge. Like when I do something like… this,” he says hoarsely before curling his fingers to hit that perfect spot.
Just as he said, it’s enough to push you over the edge, and it feels so good, so different compared to the orgasms before you were pregnant. And he doesn’t stop, now that he knows you’re a little too lost in your head, he decides it’s time to push you to the limit, pulling out one more from you, just until he hears you beg him to fuck you, because you’ll go crazy if you can’t feel him inside you soon.
Been there, done that. More than once.
And he knows you love this private game the two of you play in the safety of your home or private quarters. It’s just one of the things you love about him, the way he wants to claim you by making sure no one else could ever compare to what he can give you. He’s ruining you in the best possible way, and you would be a fool if you didn’t thank him for that.
#hwang in ho x reader#hwang in ho#frontman x you#frontman x reader#front man x you#front man x reader#frontman#front man#squid game#tw smut#tw pregnancy
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a dose of love and laughter — caleb
warnings — fluff, sick!reader, caleb taking care of you, angst (like really small part)
notes — a 360 from my previous fic im crying LMFAO \\ tags: @aomiiine
caleb loves doting on you.
no matter how many times you tell him you’re a grown woman who can take care of herself, caleb always finds a way to step in and handle things for you.
“caleb, i promise i can take care of myself while you’re at work,” you say, letting out a small cough. his hoodie keeps you warm against the cool breeze of the air conditioner. you came down with a cold last night, and caleb has been insistent on taking the day off just to look after you. “i don’t want you missing work because of me.”
“but princess…” caleb sighs. “i’m worried you’ll get worse if i’m not here. what will you do if your fever spikes, hm?” he gently brushes your hair back, his touch soft. “let me stay, okay? let me take care of you, just like i always did when we were kids.”
you can’t argue with that. having someone look after you, especially caleb, is comforting. he’s always been good at taking care of you when you’re sick.
his pleading gaze makes you give in. “okay, fine. but if any of your underlings blame me for their colonel being absent, i’m kicking your ass.”
“don’t worry, princess,” caleb chuckles. in one swift motion, he lifts you into a bridal carry, making you squeal in surprise. he sets you down gently on the couch and tucks a warm blanket around you. “you stay here, okay? i’ll go make some porridge.”
you nod and settle into the couch, your favorite tv show playing softly in the background. as much as you hate to admit it, having caleb take care of you brings back warm memories from your childhood. and his porridge is as delicious as you remember.
as you’re about to doze off, you hear caleb’s footsteps approaching. you squint, catching a glimpse of him.
“sleepy already, pipsqueak?” he says softly, setting a bowl of porridge on the table. “want to eat now?”
“only if you feed me,” you declare. caleb laughs, and you hide your smile under the blanket, trying to keep a stern look.
“okay, okay,” caleb agrees, amused. “what would you do without me?” he helps you sit up gently, leaning you against the cushions. taking a spoonful of porridge, he holds it up for you. you open your mouth and savor the warm flavor. “good?”
“mhm,” you hum, swallowing before giving him a smile. “it’s really good. just like i remember.”
“you remember?” caleb asks, sounding surprised.
“yeah, of course i do!” you exclaim, almost choking on the porridge in your excitement. caleb quickly hands you a cup of water. after taking a sip, you continue, “i tried recreating it when you were gone, but i could never get it right.”
caleb’s expression softens, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “really?” he glances down at the porridge, avoiding your gaze. “maybe i should make a recipe book for you. that way, you can make all of caleb’s specialties anytime.”
“hey,” you say gently, placing your hand under his chin to lift his face. “what’s wrong? why do you look so sad?”
he leans into your touch. “just… thinking about you being sick all alone, with no one to take care of you.”
you giggle softly. “why are you upset over that? you know i’m good at taking care of myself.”
“yeah?” caleb asks, a teasing glint in his eyes. “so, you don’t want me to feed you right now?”
“wha-” you quickly grab his hand, stopping him from leaving. “of course i want you to feed me! i’m sick, caleb! i can’t believe you’re joking with a sick person right now,” you say, feigning indignation to lighten the mood.
it works. caleb’s laughter is so genuine that it nearly brings tears to your eyes. you’ve missed his laugh, his smile — everything about him. even though it’s been weeks since you reunited, you still haven’t gotten over how much you missed him.
“you’re contradicting yourself, pipsqueak,” caleb teases. “so, can you take care of yourself or not?”
“hmm,” you pause, pretending to think. “i can take care of myself. but when you’re here, i’d rather have you take care of me.”
caleb blinks, then bursts into laughter again. “why are you laughing? i’m serious!” you protest.
“i know, i know,” he says, wiping a stray tear of laughter from his eye. he gently pats your head. “i’ll take care of you. i promise.”
#ᯓᡣ𐭩 yumei's writings#caleb#caleb x mc#caleb x you#caleb x reader#caleb x y/n#caleb fluff#caleb angst#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x y/n#love and deepspace x mc#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace angst#lads#lads x y/n#lads x mc#lads x you#lads x reader#lads caleb#lads fluff#lads angst
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“ Between life and death, death is tempting ”
First act: “From the roots”
Prologue: “Happy fifteenth birthday! (Again?)”
WARNING: Mention of blood and death.
My memory had never been the best, it was good, but not exceptional. Nothing out of this world.
I wasn't as smart as Damian or Tim, I wasn't as strong as Jason or Dick, nor was I as sharp as Bruce Wayne.
I wasn't exceptional, but I was good, but not good enough for them. For him.
God, I was so focused on getting his attention, playing sports, try to pass every subject with the highest grade, join any club like debate or math.
Anything, but all that never leads to anything.
Well, almost nothing, everything I did only caused Damian to see me as a desperate for attention, which, he wasn't wrong.
But still, it didn't make it hurt any less, every insult, malicious insinuation even the occasional threat flying through the air, each one was the result of three years of trying to get someone to look at me.
Sometimes that attention only appeared with Dick, on the few times that he came to visit and came across a scene of me with Damian, He immediately stopped him.
Forcing him to apologize, spoiler, he never apologized.
The first time it happened I thought that my attempts had finally yielded good results, but no, I dare say this was worse.
As if he gave me hope and then suddenly he snatches it away without any fanfare.
Oh wait, that's literally what happened.
And about the others, I didn't even have the chance to talk to them, simply because I was already tired and also because if Damian continued he would have more reasons to screw me.
And let's face it, nobody wants to feed the wolf because you know it bites.
In this case, the bird.
It didn't help that almost the entire family was going on patrol, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in being part of that, but then I remember Jason...I immediately got that idea out of my mind.
Mm, but if I stop to think, or rather, remember, another thing that I learned in my attempts to get my family's attention, I fell in love with dance.
It was the only class that I didn't drop like the others, I genuinely loved it.
Once in her class, the teacher made us all dance with large, long, and thin fabrics. She made us dance what we wanted, in her words: “Dance as if you were free”.
My companions danced with joy, I just stayed silent for a few moments watching them without knowing how to start.
But then I sighed to close my eyes, letting my body move as it wanted.
“Dance as if you were free” I thought, I started to imagine the music in my head. It was nice, I love it.
I went from knowing what the hell to do to starting to laugh with my classmates, I turned around and then curtsied, feeling how almost all the fabric covered my body.
I open my eyes and see my entire audience applauding, not just me, but also the rest of the dancers.
As soon as I turned eighteen I followed my teacher's advice. I didn't do it before because I was a minor, I needed my tutor's permission and blah blah blah...
Contact with my family at this point was zero, except for the new member, Duke, a sweet and kind boy.
Just looking at him made prayers come to mind for Bruce.
“If you let this kid end up like Jason, I’ll take care of throwing the Joker at you myself, you unhappy idiot.” I was thinking but also listening as Duke energetically told me what his first patrol had been like.
I used to have a certain respect for Bruce, I mean, he's Batman and he does everything in his power to make sure Gotham isn't in such a shitty place.
But then I remember that he keeps adopting children as if they were dogs to give them "A better life" by turning them into human weapons.
Sooooo, yeah, I wish that every day he wakes up with a backache and a headache.
"[Name]"
"Yes dear?" Through the mirror I watched Duke looking at me hopefully as I put on my makeup for the upcoming performance in an hour.
Oh no, I already know what he's going to ask.
"Why do you never come to the mansion?" God, I swear he does that look on purpose, brat.
I sigh as I turn around to look at him.
"You already know my answer, I have no reason to do it and I don't want to either." I said as I turned back to the mirror to continue.
"Yes! I know, but why exactly don't you want to?"
A silence reigned in the room, putting on my makeup but at the same time thinking about what to answer him.
As much as I resent the Waynes, they didn't do anything to Duke, until now, they treat him as he deserves and the last thing I want is to plant that seed of hatred towards them in Duke.
Because I know him, as soon as I tell him what my childhood was like in that mansion and those responsible, the first thing he will do is complain.
And at this point in my life I don't want any unnecessary drama with them.
I lowered the lipstick and looked at him.
"I never liked being in that mansion, since I was little I was always afraid of those giant, dark hallways, and I still am."
Duke stared at me in bewilderment. "Is that the only reason you don't want to come to the mansion?"
I nodded. "It sounds stupid, I know, but every time I walk down those halls it brings back bad memories."
That wasn't a lie.
Duke was silent for a few moments before coming up to me and hugging me.
"Aww, honey you are such a sweetheart sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yeah, because you can be a brat sometimes too." I laughed as I ruffled Duke's hair until it was disheveled.
"A white lie won't hurt anyone." I thought while Duke laughed and tried to pull my hand out of his hair.
Without realizing it, it was already time to start. I said goodbye to Duke, telling him to go back to the mansion, but he insisted on staying.
Something I allowed, GOD, I should have begged him not to do it.
Because from one moment to the next while I was dancing, all the lights went out and when they came back on I felt like blood was flooding my mouth, like everyone was screaming in fear.
What happened? Why am I bleeding?
Duke, he was next to me trying to keep me awake, to not close my eyes.
It got to the point where I couldn't hear anything he was saying, it was complicated while I felt like a part of my body was bleeding non-stop.
I hate to see him cry, please look away... leave me here.
Please...
I don't want the last thing I see to be you crying...
Please...
She opened her eyes calmly and confusedly, all she could hear was the ringing in her ears. She thought she was in a hospital because of the light.
But when her vision stopped blurring, she realized that the light was not from a hospital spotlight, but from the skylight in the wooden ceiling.
"Wait...Skylight?" She muttered, feeling her voice raspy and her throat sore.
The bed wasn't that soft, it was really hard and uncomfortable but still [Name] didn't want to get up, after almost dying...
[Name] sat up in bed right away.
"I ALMOST DIE!" She literally jumped out of bed and ran to the closet to get her clothes.
She needed to see how Duke was doing, his desperate face and the way he held back the urge to cry and couldn't, broke her heart.
But it was when she pulled out a t-shirt that she realized.
"This isn't my size..." Confused, [Name] walked over to the mirror.
If Duke broke her heart, now she's literally having a heart attack.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" [Name] could swear that any living thing that was near her would have run away in less time than it takes a rooster to crow.
She touched her face carefully, as if it would disappear or break if she touched it hard, this is so weird...a woman in her late twenties trapped in her fifteen year old self, god, what a hell.
[Name] She stepped back without taking her eyes off the mirror while she sat back down on her bed.
On the other side of the door, she heard someone knocking on it two or three times. Accompanied by a soft but direct voice calling her name.
"Miss [Name]"
[Name] immediately turned around to stare at the door, for a few short moments no one said anything, there was only silence.
"Are you okay? You didn't come down to breakfast. That's not something usual for you." Alfred said once he got no response from her.
"Yeah, I'm fine Alfred...I just stayed up late last night that's all..." She didn't know what to say, obviously it wasn't okay, but she didn't want any more problems in her head, she just wanted to focus on the main problem.
She literally just got younger, which would be a good thing if it weren't for the fact that she also came back to this damn mansion.
"Okay, miss, I'll be waiting for you with your breakfast, you need to eat something before you start the day." [Name] was about to reply until Alfred stepped in. "Also, Happy Birthday Miss."
She didn't say anything, she didn't want to.
Alfred walked away from the door, [Name] could hear his footsteps moving away through the hallways and down the stairs.
"Was it always this quiet?" She muttered in her mind as she turned her gaze back to the mirror.
She thought about her life before coming back here, it wasn't good, she didn't earn much from dancing, but... it was her life, a life that took her time to perfect.
And now, I go back to the beginning? Shit, no.
"Alive or dead, I don't care, either way I'm getting out of here..." She said with some frustration and tiredness. "Happy birthday to me...that's new."
With nothing left to lose, she gets back out of bed to find some clothes to change into.
It was her birthday and she had to look good.
And hopefully, it would be the last birthday she would spend in this mansion.
NOTES: Hi, I hope everything is okay, even if it's better than me, I had finished the 'prologue' a while ago but I was feeling a bit unsure that something felt out of place or "weird".
I repeat and reiterate, I can understand English but in terms of speaking/writing it I am still learning. Until I feel completely confident for now I will continue using the translator (my savior).
But if there are any errors (probably some, I hope not many) let me know, I want everyone to be able to read comfortably and as long as I can I will make it happen.
Anyway, I hope you like it, I love you! Muak muak💋💋
TAGS:
@crazycaoticsimp @closetreader1864
#batfam x neglected reader#batfamily x neglected reader#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily x reader#negligent batfam#yandere dc#yandere batboys#platonic batfam x reader#reader insert#platonic reader#neglected reader#batfamily#batfam dc#batfam#alfred pennyworth
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nothing has to change- o.piastri
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your first season as an f1 driver doesn't start the best, and you quickly realise McLaren doesn't like women very much. On top of that, your race engineer is as smug as the rest of them, and you have to deal with him all the time.
pairing: race engineer! oscar piastri x f1driver! fem! reader
warnings: lots of misogyny, lando is an asshole in this, illusions to ed behaviour, reader is not in a good head space, all of mclaren is super sexist, mentions of crashes and injuries.
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight
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You were the World Driver’s Champion, as of 4pm that day. Yes, that could change in the next few races, half the season was still left, but you were proud.
And so was Oscar.
He stood at the very front of the barricade, a bright smile on his face as you ran over, wrapping your arms around him and the rest of his family.
“You did it,” he whispered. “You’re amazing.”
You smiled, pulling your helmet off. “I did it.”
You felt proud of yourself. Proud that you could still excel in a team that didn’t want you. Proud that you had given them the points. Proud that you had let Oscar into your life. Proud that you had proved yourself worthy of RedBull, and much more.
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You sat beside Oscar and Nicole at the dinner, across from Lando and Zak (who had invited themselves, much to Oscar’s chagrin). You quietly chatted to Nicole as Oscar made pleasant conversation with Zak and Lando. She noticed how you weren’t really… there. You kept looking at Lando, or Zak, or another team member. You were uncomfortable, nothing like the headstrong, loud girl she’d met yesterday. You were shy, reserved, and a little on edge.
When you left the table to go to the bathroom, she tapped her son. “Get her out of here.”
He shrugged, sighing. “She won’t want to be rude-”
“Oscar, she’ll do anything you ask her to. Go.”
He nodded, following you with your bag and jacket in hand. Kids these days.
“Going to fuck her?” Lando scoffed, too drunk for his own good. A lot of the table stopped and gasped. Lando had never been so… vulgar. Oscar was disgusted. Just because neither you or Oscar worshipped the ground he walked on, didn’t mean he had to make the both of you miserable.
“What is your problem?” Oscar finally couldn’t take it. It was bullshit, Lando was an asshole.
“It’s clear you’re in love with her,” he chuckled.
“Fuck off Lando,” he shouted. “You’re such a dick! You’re so self-absorbed you wouldn’t even recognise someone interesting if they actually slapped you in the face. You don’t understand Y/n, and for her sake I hope you never get close enough to. You are a shallow, shitty, infuriatingly untalented asshole, with an ego the size of England. Maybe I’m in love with her, but at least I don’t act like she’s not there to feed my own tiny ego.”
And he turned around to see you standing there, a shocked expression on your face. You looked slightly terrified too, but he just decided to blame the shock.
“Y/n I-“ he started but you cut him off by grabbing your things from his hands, and turning tail. The entire room was silent for a moment. “Fuck!” Oscar groaned, running out after you.
He couldn’t have, he didn’t. He didn’t fuck this up. Lando didn’t fuck this up for him. He didn’t.
He better not have.
He raced through the streets of a city he didn’t really know, pleading that he’d find you. When he did, it was from a distance. You were sitting in a park. Your head in your hands.
Lando had fucked it up for him. Slowly, he walked closer, too cautious to startle you.
“I’m sorry about… back there-” he whispered.
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you sighed. “I just… it’s a lot, yeah? I don't exactly see myself as the poster-girl for romance.”
He looked at you. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve never really done this before. And I’m awkward and weird, and I’m rude to you-”
“I don’t mind if you’re rude to me-”
“You should,” you told him.
You were both quiet for a moment, and he understood that this was a fork in the road. He could either push you too far, or he’d ruin everything if you felt the same by not speaking up now. The air was charged with an uncertain electricity, and he wasn’t perfectly sure what to do. Oscar was a man of logic, but love was illogical. He liked facts and numbers and a set of rules to follow. He didn’t like feeling uncertain.
But he was happy to feel uncertain if it meant he kept you.
“This doesn’t have to change anything,” he told you. “If you don’t want it to, we don’t have to do anything about it. I’m happy to be your friend. I’m not expecting anything.”
You looked at him, and when he saw the unshed tears in your eyes, his heart hurt. He gently reached a hand up and cupped your cheek, carefully wiping them away.
“I don’t want anything to change,” you admitted. “I really like having you around Oscar.”
He smiled, though he was slightly disappointed. Rejection from the pretty girl he was in love with was going to sting either way, even if she’d just told him that she actually enjoyed his presence. “That’s fine with me,” he whispered.
You stared at him, silently asking for reassurance, and he nodded.
“I’m sorry I can’t be-”
“Don’t apologise,” he reminded you. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I think I do,” you said, looking down again. “I just… I’m not in the headspace to be in a relationship. McLaren is really… it’s a lot for me.”
So you did like him back? He couldn’t really decipher what that meant, but he’d work on it another time.
“That’s alright,” he smiled.
You couldn’t be more shocked by his behaviour. Yes, Oscar was the nicest man you knew, but you assumed he’d be mad, or at least a little bit annoyed at you. But he was just the same, kind, caring, lovely Oscar that he always was.
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After he walked you back to your hotel room, you stewed over your decision for a few hours. Maybe you did want Oscar like that. Maybe you were just self-sabotaging yourself as always. Maybe you were just being more cautious than you needed to be.
But then you reminded yourself that this was Oscar that you were talking about. The only person in the entire world who supported you. You couldn’t let him get too close, lest he see all of you, and then you were sure he’d be gone for good.
You couldn't lose him.
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#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#female reader#x reader insert#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#gn reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction
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hi kiara! can you please make a continuation of “their act of intimacy” but with gojo, toji, and sukuna? i melted the first time i read them with the other characters 😭 hope you have a good day ahead of you ❤️
THEIR ACT OF INTIMACY?
featuring: gojo satoru. ryomen sukuna. toji fushiguro.
n. aaa thanku for liking the previous one! this is for you nonnie <3 didn’t really proofread cause i’m running late on sleep lol. PART ONE HERE :0
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GOJO SATORU. gojo finds it calming when you both take a shower together. however, his notion of "calming" may differ from the ordinary. instead of drowsing in warm water and doing all those private things such as soaping his back and shampooing his hair, you and him sometimes have other spontaneous ideas in mind.
as the warm water cascaded down, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of closeness that's as comforting as it is exhilarating. satoru, with his irrepressible charm and mischievous grin, stood beside you, his presence filled the space with a playful energy.
"ah, feels like heaven," he sighed, whilst eyes gleaming with shenanigans. you chuckled, reaching for the shampoo. “don’t start a water fight again, satoru. let us enjoy a nice and relaxing—“
but before you could react, a splash of water hit you square in the face, causing you to sputter and laugh. “gotcha!" the man exclaimed, his laughter echoed through the tiled walls.
"it’s sooo on now!" you declared, retaliating with a splash of your own.
and just like that, the bathroom transformed into a battleground, with water flying in every direction as you both engaged in your playful antics. amidst the laughter and the splashing, there's an undeniable sense of joy that filled the room.
"careful, satoru," you warned, dodging his playful advances, "you're going to get soap in your eyes."
but he just grinned. "not before you get ‘em first, babe.”
and so, you guys continued your playful banter. soaked to the bone and grinning from ear to ear, gojo satoru defines his own calming moments with you.
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RYOMEN SUKUNA. your boyfriend is a big guy, or so he believes before you swoop in and baby him. does he resist? yes. but will he eventually agree? absolutely.
the aroma of freshly cooked pasta filled the air as you stood in the kitchen. across the room, your boyfriend, sukuna, leaned against the counter, watching you with a bemused expression. you took a small portion with a spoon in hand, "say 'a' for me, sukuna.”
"hell nah.” his face was holding back the disgust. “you know, i can feed myself, right?"
"come on, baby, just one bite," you urged, eyes pleading. he hesitated for a moment, then sighed, giving in to you. “no—tsk, fine.”
“just this once.”
as he reluctantly opened his mouth, you couldn't help but suppress a giggle at the sight of him being spoon-fed like a child. your boyfriend’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and he quickly swallowed the pasta, avoiding your gaze.
"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?" you teased, unable to contain your amusement.
he grumbled something unintelligible in response, but as you proceeded to feed him, he took every piece and never turned it down until the last bite.
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TOJI FUSHIGURO. toji never declines your offer to groom him. he rarely takes attention to his appearance, whereas you insist on cleaning up him up and do it with your own hands. at first, he doesn't think of it as intimate thing because isn’t it just about cutting and shaving? but as time goes on, he understands how much you value him and treasures the time you spent solely on him.
the soft glow of evening light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm hue over the cozy living room. toji sat on the couch, his unkempt hair falling into his eyes. you watched him from afar with a fond smile tugging at your lips.
“toji,” you called out. “your hair has gotten longer than the last time i remember.” he chuckled softly, already accustomed to this routine. "is it that time again?"
with scissors and a comb in hand, you approached him with a smile. “c’mere, sit down, baby.”
letting a shrug plus a grin, the man complied, settling onto the stool you'd placed in the middle of the room. as you draped a towel around his shoulders, his eyes met yours in the mirror.
"you know, i understand why you enjoy doing this so much.” he admitted, leaning back as you began to comb through his hair.
"you know why?” you replied, your voice soft as you worked. "it's about taking care of each other, babe. showing love in the little things."
he fell silent at your words, mulling them over as you continued to trim away stray strands. gradually, the tension seemed to melt from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of ease and contentment.
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@uzurakis — requests are open! <3
#cant tell how much i enjoyed writing this esp gojo’s part ITS JUST SO GOOFY OF HIM#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#.writing#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#satoru x you#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#toji fushiguro#fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#toji x you#toji x reader#toji fluff
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The Balladeer always gives his Fav Fatui Agent praise and the most "special" tasks, then insulting the rest of the agents
harbinger!scaramouche x fem!reader. smut. cock warming. degradation. clit play. edging. creampie.
i really indulged myself writing this, ngl😳 the degradation get a little harsh in a couple spots but it's not consistent. purely for my own self indulgence.
the air between you and the rest of scaramouche's subordinates is very, very different. the contrast was quite grand to him. you, standing there with a shy but pleased smile on your face. while the rest of his squad lingered behind you looking frightened.
"to think i actually had the audacity to think that you lot would be at least a little coordinated enough to pull off such a simple mission," scaramouche scoffed, glaring at anyone who dared to even think about opening their mouth while he is talking.
he sighs in approval seeing the shy blush dusting your cheeks as he comes to stand in front of you. you radiate utter submission and adoration for him as you look up at him.
he reaches an elegant hand out and puts it on your head. "this little thing here has a bigger brain than the rest of you combined. all you had to do was steal some very important documents back from bottom feeding treasure hoarders," he smooths a hand through your hair, much like someone would a pet.
"not only did she steal back what i asked for, she wiped out every single one of them," he brought your head to rest against his chest, drinking in the sight of the rest of his squad cowering in fear.
"they dared to stand against you," you said, nuzzling your cheek on his chest, "i had to do something," you glance up at him for a only a moment, the fluttering in your heart causing you to look away shyly. "i wasn't gonna stand for it."
fuck, you made his cock ache like nothing else.
"the rest of you, take notes. this," he pets your hair again, "is what true subservience looks like. now scatter like the rats you are. now," he snarls before tilting your head up so you would look at him. "as for you, you are coming with me. i have a special task in mind for you."
nodding, you follow scaramouche back to his room in the fatui operated hotel. "what do you need me to do for you, sir?" you only want to please him and do whatever he asks.
your eyes follow scaramouche as he walks over to the bed, unbuttoning his shorts before lying on the bed. "be a good girl and strip for me," he commands, relishing in the way the blush on your cheeks darkens as he took out his cock.
"yes, sir," you reply shyly. one by one, your clothes fell away to the floor. you feel slightly embarrassed at how wet you got just from hearing a few words of praise from him outside.
scaramouche strokes his cock watching you undress. "i need to be kept warm for awhile," he smirks seeing you come to him without hesitation. "but who i am kidding, you'd spend all night with my cock stuffed inside you, wouldn't you, kitten?" he taunts as you crawl on the bed and straddle him.
here's the truth, he is absolutely right. you would. and he knows that. he wasn't above taking advantage of it. putting his hands on your hips, he prefers to lower your pussy onto his cock himself.
a soft moan sounds from you feeling his cock part your folds, grazing over your swelling clit. scaramouche groans as you needily grind your pussy on your cock, shivering with the anticipation of feeling even just the head start to stretch you apart.
"so wet from just a few words of praise and head pets. what a little slut," he smirks feeling how relaxed your body is, drunk on how much control you willingly let him have over you. your back arches as he slowly lowers you onto his cock. he knows it wouldn't take long for you to start moaning for him. always pathetically craving any form of attention from him.
"such a good girl, taking my cock so well," he praises, shivering as your pussy clenches around his cock. he took his time bottoming out, teasing his cock little by little to rest against your sweet spot.
"i..i only want to be a good girl for you, sir," you moan shakily. he could tell how badly you want to bounce yourself stupid on his cock, but he has other plans for you.
"you just continue to be a good girl and let me use you," he loops an arm around the small of your back as he sat up, bringing your chest to his mouth. his tongue flicks out to slowly swirl around your nipple. flattening his tongue, he licks until the nub hardens on his tongue.
scooping it into his mouth to suck on, his free hand found your clit. a string of louder moans spills from your mouth, your clit throbbing as he rubs circles with the pads of his fingers. your walls clutch tight like a glove on his cock, your body twitching and begging for friction on your sweet spot.
"well go on, spill those words of worship on your lips, slut. praise me. cry about how good my cock feels stretching you apart," he glares in command up at you, pinching your clit.
you let out a loud gasp of pleasure. he only got harder watching you struggle to stay still, his commanding tone sending a stronger jolt of pleasure hitting your clit. more wet pools onto your pussy. "nobody is more powerful than you, scara! no one stands a chance in the wake of your raw power!"
scaramouche chuckles as he switches to sucking your neglected nipple, rolling and rubbing your clit enticing you to continue. you are falling apart so fast and so well. "keep talking, whore," he moans, enjoying and indulging in your worshipping adoration.
"i worship you, scara! your cock feels so, so good. if i am a good enough girl, will you fuck me, please? i'm on my knees for you, scara! i only want you! please, please." you moan, tinged with whimpers. the way he is building up your orgasm is almost torturous.
"please, please, please," he mocks, rolling his hips teasingly, dangling the momentary promise that he would maybe give you what you want. he enjoys hearing you whimper, edging you relentlessly.
he leaves you hanging, indulging himself in sucking your nipples and playing with your clit. today has been stressful for him. your warm and pliable body, your tight, dripping pussy were both perfect ways for him to use to unwind.
you tremble as his beautiful fingers work your clit over. he couldn't get enough of looking up at you, watching the look in your eyes melt into further adoration for him the longer he edges you. he snickers hearing you whimper more consistently.
"now cum all over my cock, how pathetic you can barely hold it together," his taunt makes your pussy clench tighter. he rubs your clit just right, suddenly making the knot of your orgasm snap apart.
you nearly scream in pleasure as your orgasm hit you. he only continued to bully your clit, pinching your nipples through your orgasm. you are dazed and drooling by the time he lifts you off his cock and shoves you on your back on the bed.
"good girls deserve to be filled," his gaze softens for a moment seeing your fucked out eyes light up being called a good girl. pinning your wrists above your head, he pushed his cock inside you, bottoming out all at once.
scaramouche lost every modicum of control he had, mindlessly pumping his cock inside of you. thanks to your strong orgasm, his cock made the unholiest squelching noises, hitting your sweet spot with generous accuracy. you'd worshipped him and his cock so thoroughly, begging like a bitch in heat for him.
damn it you are being so good for him.
"what a good girl. the perfect slut. all for me," he groans as his cock empties inside of you. he didn't stop until he was satisfied, marvelling at the gift underneath him that was somehow dropped into his lap after getting fucked over by life no matter what he did.
pulling out of you, he fingers his cum back inside you, smearing leftover cum on your clit. you obediently lift your hips to grind your clit on his fingers.
scaramouche knows what he has to do. fucking marry you. you deserve to be the wife of the great balladeer.
#genshin impact#genshin smut#fem!reader#genshin imagines#scaramouche#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you
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