#SHE'S PERFECT AND SHE BECOMES REAL TO ME
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I liked this drawing from my zine so much I used it again as a test for MAD and thus she started to become real lol
#my art#mila miele#bruno bucciarati#bruno buccellati#jjba part 5#jjba oc#golden wind#vento aureo#this keeps happening#when I want to sit down and make an OC I can't but when one comes to me in a non serious whatever type of way#SHE'S PERFECT AND SHE BECOMES REAL TO ME#maybe it's just my heart wanting to give my favorite Nakamura Yuichi character at the time love interests#I even have songs I like to listen to when I think of her OTL
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of AeorâCassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugeesâis that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Godsâ motivation for all of this wasâwhether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortalityâfor me it is a very healthy dose of bothâbut for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fearâwhat is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worshipâand how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think itâs completely fair to judge Aeorâs overall society as deeply corruptâit was!âbut its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corruptâit is!âbut its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
Iâve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I donât think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her motherâwho herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact sameâher familyâbut when itâs the Gods itâs justified? When itâs the Gods, itâs sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than âtheyâre familyâ?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly donât agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isnât really at all about their motivation or their family. It canât be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as âtheyâre familyâ. These are your children. They are your family, too.
#critical role#cr meta#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#imogen temult#liliana temult#ludinus da'leth#does this make sense. I feel like i lost my initial thread somewhere around the middle bc my brain is currently spread very thin#but tldr: it is extremely interesting to me that the fall of aeor is such a perfect parallel to the ruidusborn#i could also go on endlessly ENDLESSLY about how cassida and liliana play the exact same role#and also i could go on even longer on what divinity as a concept even means in a world like exandria#and how trying to compare it to our real life understanding of divinity is a bit fruitless#on the basis that a person can become a god alone but also that they themselves undeniably exist#but its so good. it ties in so well. brennan did a fucking fantastic job at capturing the abject horror of it all#also aabria iyengar if you can hear me PLEASE bring deanna back i will send you fifty dollars#and also hello i very briefly said hello at the live show and wanted to tell you how incredible i think you are but alas#where did these tags go#anyway#WOAH this is long. I shouldâve been writing fic. alas.#really I don't think any of the hells are gonna be able to just. gloss over the casualties of it all. but especially mog and ashton and lau#tal has even already said that downfall made some things better for ash and some things Worse so I know I'm not too far off#I have. many many thought on how laudna will see it all too.#truly think she is going to be the most vocally horrified
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what if i said hal's mom called him "hally" specifically as a play on halley's comet, huh. what if i said she did that because she knew no matter how far he went, he'd always come back to her, hm. what then.
#and then he wasnt with her when she died FUCK#jessica jordan#they could never make me hate you#hal jordan#green lantern#empyrean posting#i do think it's extremely fucked up how they diminished and rotted her character post spectre. i actually hate it so much#i dont really mind the rewriting of martin as a /not/ absentee and abusive father (even though it cheapens the complex relationship hal had#with him what with the being his mirror image and wearing his jacket and becoming a pilot in spite of how martin treated him. constantly#seeking validation and love from a man who not only would never but then could never give it to him) but then going on to act as if jessica#wasnt his most important parent just by virtue of her being his only one for most of his life and going on to say she was actually kind of#bad because she wouldnt support him when she looked after three sons by herself and also begged the air force to take him back when he was#about to be dismissed is sooooo. god. it irks me so much. she was always there for him and she may not have been perfect but she did her#damn best and now they go around acting like martin was the only REAL figure in hal's life growing up because they understood each other on#some special cosmic level?? go to hell.#talking to myself sorry
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#âmy monthly webkinzâ god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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Iâm watching season one of Bridgeton and even though Simon and Daphne stress me out to no end, I absolutely am thinking about messy regency era starbreaker where Jace is coveted as the diamond (đ) of the season season by King Aguefort.
None of the potential suitors heâd hoped are coming forward and the marriage market is looking bleaker by the day until his older sister, Zaraâs, best friend the Duke of house Cliffbreaker, returns in time for the new season. He and Jace get off to an incredibly rocky start, constantly bickering with each other. But thereâs something about Duke Cliffbreaker (âMy friends call me Porter.â) that he canât stop thinking about.
One evening they enter an agreement to court each other so Jace appears desirable to other potential suitors and Porter appears unavailable so he can attend to his own private matters. Yes, none of it is real, but Jace canât help but enjoy the Dukeâs company. It terrifies Porter to think that Jace would ever fall for a scoundrel like him. Zara threatens him not to corrupt her brotherâs innocence, but how could he?
Jace could never burn for him, why would he? He could only disappoint him. But he canât resist kissing him in the gardens, canât resist the pull of his lips, the way Jaceâs body feels so correct curling into his touch.
I also cannot leave out the scene where Simon tells Daphne to touch herself that night so she understands pleasure.
The way Porter whispers the obscenity to a man of nobility like him makes Jaceâs face flush and his ears burn. But his curiosity gets the better of him that night as he lay in bed, unable to think of nothing other than the Dukeâs instructions. The Duke- Porterâs name falls from his lips as he finishes for the first time, toes curling as breathy whines and whimpers echo throughout his chambers.
When they sleep together for the first time, he canât help but admit he pleasured himself at the thought of Porter. All Porter has to say is âshow me,â for him to be half way gone on their wedding night.
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Bonus points for the fallout of the garden scene because Iâd scream the entire time.
[Zara]: âYou will marry him!â
[Porter]: âI cannot.â
[Jace]: âyou would rather duel my sister- No, you would rather die than marry me?â
I could cry thinking about Jace with those big sad eyes looking at Porter completely heartbroken and devastated đ¤§
#listen Simon pisses me OFF and so does Porter sometimes#Simon and Porter are so similar like theyâd rather die than admit their feelings about anything ever like stfu and go court your love#so this is PERFECT#unfortunately this is the one au where Jace and Zara arenât breathing in each otherâs mouths bc I need her to be Anthony#next season she courts her paramour and becomes a real wife guy itâs alright đ¤§đ#also I love the idea of Zara chasing someone else while helping Jace court Porter and turns out sheâs been seeing opera singer Lucilla#lullaby who keeps eluding her#when I finish this season Iâll probably reimagine sb as Kate and Anthony anyway bc I would die for them#this also means Zara vs Porter duel where she absolutely shoots at him before Jace rides in on horseback to propose to Porter#dimension 20#d20 fhjy#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#jace stardiamond#porter cliffbreaker#starbreaker#jaceporter#zara sool#bridgerton au
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haven't listened to the anthology yet, but i do think her music is suffering from the sheer quantity she's putting out while doing all this other stuff tbh. feels more like an overproduced electronic cashgrab than real layered music despite some tortured lyrics. like ttpd the first half has such a sameness to over half of it.... and that sameness is tied to midnights too imo. i really wish i could experience the joy of albums like 1989/folklore/evermore and def her country earlier stuff but. she can be a lyric writing machine (she needs someone to veto some of it thoughnfjdkfjd feels like no one can tell her no) but not lean on the exact same production style for this long bc it's kinda getting old to me and i really do enjoy so much of her discography like đđđ idk. i know swifties are just gonna eat up whatever she does, and i've always been in between the absolute worshipping crowd and the absolute hater crowd but some of the music/production part is so uninspired.
#where are the real instruments like truly fhjdjd where are rhe layers#i want to enjoy it but i had like 5 songs i marked thst ill even listen to more than twice HDJDJ and i did the same for midnights#like its jsut......#like shes a billionaire but it feels like if she pauses for a second shes gonna die like no. fbdndj sometimes ruminating is good#in some ways its like the perfect encapsulation of whats going on w society#i would love an album where she goes back to country roots a bit more tbh just to hear what she could do#its where shes always excelled imo#ANYWYA just first thoughts. ill listen to the second half when i get home from work but like#how many surprise albums can you drop n stuff before things become less of a surprise snd more of an expectation like#w that much contrnt you cant be putting your all into it lol. some of it feels half assed snd you can tell#inauthentic despite any vulnerability in the lyrics....... when i know she has made better is just so jfksk disappointing#this is not me being a hater fhjd feel like i will always give her music a try 10000% but also i hate being disappointed this much in a row#and i think its good to critically discuss things u enjoy at times
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Omg...... Like Mother, Like Daughter is doomed Yuri (half yuri? One sided yuri?). TT0TT Sol doesn't feel the same way I'm pretty sure (sadly), but Som is DEF down bad. TT0TT And Som's not exactly the most mentally stable jakfjdksalfj (I think she has a bit of a "Sol's my pet" vibe going on as well. Som means well but she is NOT healthy either jfakslfj oh this is just going to be a fucking wreck I'm ready let's GO!)
(spoilers under cut, also under cut cause length and pictures)
Like she saw the boy Sol is hanging out with and was just ">:("
*sobbing* She is SO DONE when she finds out they are dating TT0TT
*sobs* ahhhh! klasjfdk OhmyGOAD SHE is tREMBLING as Sol tells her how she got with the guy TT0TT
She is literally SULLEN that Sol and guy have been dating FOR A MONTH! she looks os SICK TT0TT
My poor girl is literally doing the Arthur fist clench with her fist TT0TT
Som! Som! Girlie! I don't think this is just a friendship for you anymore.
LKFJDASKLFJKLAJFKL WAIT
"Anyone can see at first glance that he's good for nothing. But how does she not see that?"
OHHHHH MY GOD SHE'S LIEK 'HE SMELLY. HE STANK. HE POOR. HE BROKE. HE TOO NORMAL FOR HER." GURL! GET OFF THE FLOOOOOR!
"To be honest, I wish they'd break up" NO YOU DON'T SAY???? nEVER WOULD'VE GUESS!
Oh I was just here for the matricide but I've been blessed with more angst! Let's goooooo!!!!!!!!!
#âi'm sorry silly.... what's this about matricide?â Her moms a killer and killed her brother and she's just an absolute controlling pscyho-#-to the point som thought SHE was going to die before she got to high school if she didn't get perfect grades#lady deserves it but this isn't about her atm#like mother like daughter#like mother like daughter webtoon#like mother like daughter spoilers#i need to yap about this i'm sorry TT0TT#i had a feeling when she said 'life partner' in the other episode#the korean word can mean like an actual romantic partner buuuuut one of the words has been associated with pets#and she did compare sol to a pet in a sense#Somyung Gil#Look-Alike Daughter#ë ëŽě ë¸#webtoon#oh wait i never posted the other thing kafjdlksajflk TT0TT#som sweetie let's not call your crush a âstray dogâ#the term you are looking for is âgirlfriendâ#now go listen to âi wanna ruin our friendshipâ and âgood luck babeâ you'll feel better#ugh I skipped a head a few chapters and the author is pushing some guys on som TT0TT#(I don't mind the boys they're cute but ahfkljsaklf you got me ATTACHED to Sol don't switch up on me now???)#For real tho Som needs therapy not a partner. Get her away from her mom and let her recover#I love how it's showing her slowly spiral into a villain arc and yesss I saw her becoming way too obsessed with Sol but oof there's some#def romantic tension in there and that's juicy#But right now things are just going to get worse if Som stays near her mom TT0TT#hopefully this thriller isn't a tragedy I need my girl to win!
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April 1st - Happy Birthday Akane
(with one Akane from every chapter that I could find)
#psycho pass#akane tsunemori#my edits#i love that you can tell when s1 ends not only because the art style changes a little but by how serious she becomes in s2 onwards. also had#trouble deciding on a color for her so kept thinking hmm what color? then it hit me like OH 'wc?' like the main question in s2! so i vaguely#remember somewhere mentioning her hue was a real clear blue so. here we are. ANYWAYS. i know a s3 manga exists. but for the life of me i#couldnt find it anywhere so hopefully the first two seasons & sinners movies are ok. i just really love her. so sweet & badass she's PERFECT
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it annoys me that akane was made into a potential love interest. now there's this love triangle bs going on. it was grating enough with just kana being down bad. but it was still tolerable. episode 11 was probably the worst episode to end on because the love triangle schtick left such a bad taste in my mouth
#â˘âËâš đŠˇâĽrubyâĽyoďźide yo !!#oshi no ko spoilers#I was sympathetic towards akane for being a victim of online harassment#why did she have to turn out to be so unlikeable#her perfect imitation of ai's mannerisms creeped me tf out#and even outside of that. why would she fall for aqua. because he kept her from offing herself?#I don't know why but that makes me REALLY uncomfortable#and we already know he has no real romantic interest in her (unless that changes down the line. i hope to god it doesn't tbh)#i feel bad for kana in all of this. she did kind of screw herself over with her attitude when she was a child actress#but she was a kid. of course she wouldn't have known better until after the consequences came to pass#and since then her luck has be just pure shit#and then she got pressured into becoming an idol because she's into aqua and because it's hard for her to say no to things in general#I'm sure there's gonna be a point where she'll be grateful that she got whisked into the whole idol thing. but#as of episode 11 it's only been causing her stress#I hope she gets over aqua honestly. traumatized guy hell-bent on revenge is only going to hurt her in the long run#but if she doesn't. I hope things don't go as roughly for her as I'm fearing they will#/sigh/ the romantic subplot shouldn't annoy me this much#I just want to focus on aqua unraveling the mystery behind ai's killer honestly#the idol stuff is fine too. I'm a retired love live fan after all#I would even be fine with kana getting pressured into doing the idol thing if there was no romantic subplot#because she wouldn't have been pushed towards that direction by a crush. then her growing into the idol thing would have more payoff#at least to me. her being pushed by romantic feelings cheapens that journey imo#I'm also kinda annoyed at how one-dimensional ruby became in the later episodes#she's like every love live mc ever now (except ayumu but nijigaku was a spinoff so that doesn't count)#I guess it'd be hard to call back to her backstory more than they already have. it's just that she's just too genki girl to me#I just wish we could hear her thoughts more. they can't be as ray of sunshine-y as how she acts on the outside right?#but maybe my chronically depressed ass is just projecting and people really are that happy most of the time#all that is to say. I'm not looking forward to future episodes all that much rn. at least not until the stupid akane-kana movie rivalry ends#man i am stating Opinions. i'm gonna be burned at the stake aren't i#i should shut up and go back to complaining about my genshin progression
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Constantly torn between writing a character to be just a nice guy and writing that character to be the most fucked up creature in existence
#the klock keeps ticking#like theres a line at some point where you cant make this all one guy but you just. really want to#like yeah lets say we got some fucked up guy who tries really hard to be nice and sweet despite the horrors#but you know what if i want him to get kinda bitchy too cuz how can i expect him not to be? hes been through some shit and hes only human#but how bitchy can i make him before he just kinda becomes an asshole#i guess though people are pretty complicated so sometimes its just kinda like that#i must once again hail rebecca gales as the character ever like girl shes sooooo#shes so genuinely sweet and caring and attentive and shes so bitter selfish and jealous#shes gotta make like the biggest effort to be nice and simultaneously the biggest effort to be mean#its just so refreshing to see idk someone who is generally a good person but shes really fucked up about it#like this doesnt come easy to her! everything in her wants to act like a petty child!#and she does! shes really fucking immature and she thinks shes above it all when shes the worst out of everyone!#and thats just such a nice thing to see just a very human character#and shes just like me for real aaaaaa god like guys this freaking character has helped me cope so bad#like shes not a monster shes just. a person having a bad day and not coping very good#yeah this post wasnt even about her but I made it about her now ive just been thinking about rebecca a lot lately OKAY#we cant all be perfect sometimes we just gotta be rebecca at least im brave enough to admit it#anyways i have pretty similar tangents about ryuki shin marianne shinjiro and junpei
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okay! i've finally finished the southern reach trilogy & want to thought dump bc thats what i do when i enjoy things đ im going to assume most people have not read this & explain as such
i'll be real i only picked this up bc i saw the movie based off the first book & was like "well huh" & then couldnt get the idea of an environment that just... refracts everything back and in on itself is just. so cool. it's such a cool idea. so when i saw in the credits it was based off a book i HAD to go read it the concept was too interesting i had to know what was in the book they couldnt translate to the movie
i got such a treat oh my god.
something that stood out to me pretty quickly, given im into a completely separate other series where none of the characters have public names, is that, iirc the movie DID give names but the whole first book theres no names. they each have a profession & are called as such. even as we get names in later books, only one of the og characters is ever named and the biologist thats one of the most important characters is simply that. the biologist. & it means absolutely nothing in terms of how impersonal or deep the character feels. because shes utterly complete and herself. respectable. i like that.
but most importantly the world, oh my god the world. the movie has its own not entirely off base take on it. different and yet similar enough. if u like fucked up worlds im recommending this 200% its just SO fascinating. its a little area cut off from the rest of the real world they call area x & it is protected by a sort of boundary but its. self refraction of things doesnt even begin to cover what its got going on. i dont even know how to describe it right. theres THINGS just so many unexplainable things, you think the area is out to get them but it ends up more like... the area's attempt at self preservation at the cost of the other, the intruders. like the whole thing is self aware.
the plants & terrain arent ever changing, not anymore than they would be with time, & not all of the animals are some fucked up threat out to get them. the area itself is the threat, impossible things in the sky, ocean, shadows weaving into the world & messing up whoever happens to come into contact with it. weird inexplicable things happening to those they send in to explore.
and at first it seems like a survivors came back wrong story. like whatever's in there, whatever fucked them up did so to such an extent none of the survivors even live long. which is fascinating in its own right like what is it that harms them to such an extent. & ur introduced to all the weird monsters & occurrences in a way thats like. well this things out to get them. & u need to know more.
& man the more the next 2 books give u is just so INTERESTING.
but first i have to say i hated the corporate mind games that took up 2/3 of the second book. hard to get through. johns such a man baby sometimes & its so frustrating seeing him just decide pieces of the puzzle are no use to him & getting rid of them. sick of his shit. i dont like him much in the 3rd book either but fine whatever.
the last 1/3 of the second book & like all of the third had the same "no what!?!? ur kidding!?!?" reaction as the first book had & was again interesting & easy to get through. LOTS of juicy secrets & info that ties things together & makes it make as much sense as it can & ends off in such a solid way, not without questions, but with a sense that even if those questions were answered, it wouldn't make any difference, would be maybe a trivia fact more than some grounding breakthrough.
also to whom it matters the cast is pretty diverse & natural about it, having them just be people in a situation & not relying on that to be a selling a point like i see in posts all the time here.
im going to get into spoilers here
the nature of area x is so interesting to me. the time paradox, the fact that time moves in a linear fashion and yet the area contains so much passage of time that just. doesnt match the outside world. the shock of grace saying she'd been there 3 years when it'd only been weeks and yet all the signs proved she wasnt lying. the way how suddenly all the decay & change in the area held just that much more weight to it. that things were even less what they seemed. that lended to knowing the biologist's 30 years in there vastly outweighed the real world's time. that part saying that people couldve lived there, lived out whole full lives between the time the border/area was created & when it was first explored because if the time difference just really hit me for some reason. its such a weird space.
and how the area handles people, not the book but the area, how it gets inside them, turns them into something else. learning that what came back from expeditions wasnt the originals. that the area got inside the people who went in & changed them into something completely unrecognizable. turned into a pig slug hybrid with only their face intact, into an owl, into some Thing writing in life itself on tunnel(tower) walls, into a giant fucking whale that can exist wherever it wants to. the fact that, initially, these are viewed as some fucked up creation recreated from who died there, only to be revealed that these forms ARE the original people and they ARE still alive, just in this new form, and while its implied they may not have the same frame of consciousness as people, its also not stated thats 100% the case- that no outsider can know for sure because people can only know people(or at least hope to know people). the whole concept that the originals have become part of the area living there or dying there in this new way, while the world creates copies of them, sends them back to the real world, fools everyone into thinking these copies are the originals, that something just happened to them and somethings not right anymore. that even when ones like the biologist's copy admits they arent the same person, no one believes them. thats so wild. & its framed that 3 people made it back for real, no copies involved, but the only one with any proof is the director. sure whitby & lowry have life spans unlike other "survivors" but at the same time, its also said theres no real way of knowing if the real or copy whitby lived, & iirc the footage seemed to imply lowry was different on the way back too although i guess that could be attributed to stress but its not like the things he says are very trustworthy either. anyway thats just to wild & intriguing to me, that while they're off living or fighting for life or dying, theres a copy of them they arent even aware of, creating a different truth of them to the outside world. neat concept.
the lighthouse keepers story, the way it all started, that kind of got to me. the way he was just doing his best at his job & the more and more u read u know its about to catch up, he about to be consumed by this & start its spread, and theres nothing anyone can do about it. and god the letter to him at the end. i came here to be fascinated and yet that final moment of human respect across people who were no longer people got to me & i ended up crying. which may be stupid of me. but i LOVE when a world can draw u in so thoroughly & then have characters to get caught up in & care about too.
& i love that the nature of this area is so bizarre that, even when things are stated as directly as possible , u think for a moment the narrator is hallucinating or or being vivid & only to moments later have it shoved it ur face that no, thats the reality, thats word for word whats happening. i had a LOT of "what in the actual fuck" moments & they were jarring of course, as they were meant to be for such a peculiar world, but jarring in the way that drew u in more, made u need to know more.
basically i had a good time & this is going to be constantly in my mind or at least in the back of it. a lot more going on then im saying here & if ur into fucked up world building then definitely give it a chance at least
#this isnt an analysis post this is more of a review if anything#there was one line like 'even a perfect copy cant truly become the real one' & i immediately went omg just like d-ne shuuenpro#theres a LOT of things in here that had me thinking of aru sekai too but that may be the nature of sci-fi stories#the third book had quite a few lines that really hit me.#the single sentence 'The uselessness of guilt'#the paragraph about shes always alone & no one will ever come to help & the only way is forward#etc. we like that.
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Now I'm not saying I'm making a dst roleswap au. But I am saying that I thought of an idea for a sort of take of Walter as Wanda and it's making me spin him a bit in my mind
#rat rambles#puts ur lil guy in a timeloop where he repeatedly inevitably succomes to the same curse (cutely)#and ok maybe I do have a few other ideas but whos to say if Ill act on them#on the one hand; wanda walter and wagstaff webber#on the other hand: you could not pay me to have a single idea abt wolfgang Im sorry#Id say wortox to but I already have the perfect plan to get him out of the picture and wilba in#sends him to hamlet land never to be seen again anyways wormwood and wurt swap also#oh and if I do elaborate on this this wont necesarily mean wanda is walter idk how Id make that work lol#Id probably do like a triangle sitch that allows her to keep some light elements of her og character#Im mostly thinking maybe abby can be the third character there? she gets to be the lil trail mix guy wanda gets to be haunted by her past#and future but literally this time and walter gets to experience the horrors#and wendy is probably like dead or smth lol#not necesarily tho if I can find another place for him#wait#wait wait wait#Id probably have to pull some real bullshit to make this work but what if wendy as wx#but ya this au is very theoretical rn as for it to rly become anything Id need to figure out wholl be charlie and maxwell and idk man#like what are my options like I could put wx there but then whos the other person fucking wagstaff?? no I didnt think so#idk itd be like. funny to make them maxwell and wilson charlie but idk if Id be satisfied with that#Im just imagining wx doing freak science and wilson being the kid they hand the unplugged controller to (metaphorically)#they have him there as an ego booster but then they get attatched and theyre just like fuck. ythink I can send him back or is it too late#but also then wilson would have to be charlie. and ppl might think I ship them. all in all not ideal#anyways I need to sleep gn
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Maybe live and let live isn't the best way to live-- but it's the only way I know how to live, how to exist, how to survive
Better than someone controlling me. But is there such a thing as human connection?
#me#life#ppl#survive#emotions r real#but no one ever cared to ask#still rather be alone than controlled#i just have tk keep my head down and ignore mom#pretend#while Never letting guard down she really cares about me beyond what her idea of Perfect Child was#our codependency from before i could remember#from just after dad got depressed when mom had no one but me#her Dream was stay at home mom#so i was her dream girl đĄ#no such thing as perfect#no such thing ss perfect reflection who does everything morally and becomes a receptacle for ur every thought#even if u did sacrifice ur blood on my birth#i had a hard time too but i dont remember#i cried but i couldnt help it...
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IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY
#FUCK YEAH WE GOT MY FIRST EVER MURAL LOOKING SICK AS SHIT SO FAR#TORTUGA AS BIG AS ME AND DETAILED ENOUGH THAT STRANGERS COMPLIMENTED IT MY BELOVED#HUGE SHOUTOUT TO THE GUY DRIVING BY THAT ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW AND SHOUTED âdude thatâs amazing!â AS THEY PASSED#CAME OUT AS TRANS TO MY AUNT THAT IM PAINTING THE MURAL FOR AND SHE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY FIRST BLOOD RELATIVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME OUT TH#GATE#HER ONLY THINGS WERE THAT SHE WASNT GONNA BE PERFECT ABOUT MY PRONOUNS AND THAT SHE WISHED ID COME OUT TO HER SOONER SO I WOULDNT HAVE#GOTTEN ATTACHED TO A NAME THAT I DIDNT REALIZE WAS LINKED TO MY REALLY SHITTY BIO DAD AND WANTED TO COME UP WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL NICKNAME#FOR ME THAT WOULD WORK NO MATTER WHAT I IDENTIFY AS FROM HERE ON OUT AND WORKS AROUND PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO#AND SHE GAVE ME A CHAMORRAN NICKNAME!!!! A SIDE OF MY HERITAGE THAT I DONT GET TO CONNECT TO A TON!!! SHES GONNA CALL ME TAKKA (WE MESSED#WITH THE SPELLING OF âTOCAâ A BIT TO SOUND LIKE âTALK-Aâ SO WE CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW I TALK A LOT IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING FUNNY SO FAR I#LOVE IT)#AND SHES GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE KELAGUEN (A CHAMORRAN DISH) SOMETIME#AND SHE GAVE ME AN OVERSIZED SHIRT THAT BASICALLY SAYS FUCK T-MOBILE#AND TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT AND TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED HOW I PRIORITIZED KINDNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE AND I GOT TO TELL HER ABOUT HO#I THINK KINDNESS AND CRUELTY ARE TRAITS BEYOND GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THAT I WANT TO BECOME THE ADULT I NEEDED AS A KID AND THAT I NEEDED#SOMEONE KIND THAT FREELY GAVE HUGS AND TOLD A LOT OF SILLY JOKES AND WAS FORGIVING WHEN IT COUNTED AND THAT WHEN I GROW OLD WHETHER IM AN#OLD MAN OR OLD WOMAN OR OLD SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA BE A GEEZER THAT LIVES ACROSS THE STREET THAT YOU CAN PLAY CARDS WITH ANYTIME AND#SAVES YOU CHOCOLATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU LIKE IT AND I WANNA BE THE TYPE OF KIND MAN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP HOPING ARE REAL AND LABELS ARE#CLOTHES THAT SOMETIMES FIT A MONTH OR FIT FOREVER BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE COMFY IN THE MOMENT AND THAT I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND I#LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY AND IM WEIRD ABOUT KISSING BUT I HAVE MY PARTNERS BACK AND THAT MATTERS MORE TO US AND WERE HAPPY#AND I TOLD HER WHAT IM PLANNING ON MY NAME TO BE WHEN IM AN ADULT AND SHE LIKED MY IDEA FOR MY NEW SURNAME#AND WE SANG TO SONGS TOGETHER AND BITCHED ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE STREET AND LAUGHED TOGETHER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY#BECAUSE OF THE TURTLE IM PAINTING HER AND BECAUSE I TRUST HER AND IM SO HAPPY BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE ARE WORKING OUT AND THIS EVENING WAS A#PERFECT SUMMER EVENING TO BE ALIVE. THIS MAY HAVE HAPPENED ON MY PERIOD BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. THERE IS BEAUTY#IN THE WORLD IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BEING TRANS AND BEING SAFE WITH YOUR AUNT AND TALKING TO HER HONESTLY ABOUT YOUR#HOPES FOR THE FUTURE WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR GENDER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN MAKING SILLY POSES WITH YOUR MURAL IN PROGRESS WITH YOUR AUNT AS TH#PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN LISTENING TO NOSTALGIC MUSIC WITH YOUR AUNT THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR LIKING#THERE IS BEAUTY IN WEARING YOUR BANGS UP IN A STUPID PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL SO IT DOESNT FALL IN YOUR EYES AND WEARING CLOTHES YOU DONT CARE#ABOUT AND GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND SINGING MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND GENUINELY THAN YOU HAVE IN A LONG TIME. THERE IS BEAUTY IN CLEANING#PAINT BRUSHES AND MEASURING CUPS IN HER KINDA BROKEN SINK AND MEOWING AT HER CAT AND THANKING HER FOR HELPING YOU CLEAN UP THE PAINTS SHE
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this post is not gonna be well put together but i am having feelings
mean girls is trending right now because the musical movie just came out and i feel insane. idk why i do, it was stupid of me to think that most people Got It, no one ever gets it, it was always about the memes and the aesthetic.
the first mean girls movie was based on a nonfiction book called queen bees and wannabes. it interviewed and discussed the social hierarchy system in teen girl friendships. how they hold each other to these insane standards of heternormative femininity out of sheer terror that they won't meet those standards themselves. the way they leverage their relationships for some small degree of power in a world designed to strip them of it, even if it drags other girls down.
the "you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week and on wednesdays we wear pink" speech was not an original creation for the script. it's a QUOTE from a real teenage girl. those were REAL RULES.
then the musical came, and it was one step removed from the intended messaging of the film. OG mean girls was not perfect (and was extremely racist), but it said what needed said. the musical leaned on the comedy more, but still left a heartfelt undertone, and still critiqued the systems in place. of course no piece of media is going to be perfect, but it was about the conversation.
then this new movie comes out and it is washed over in the veneer of white hollywood feminism so thick you can't see anymore. the problematic aspects of the original movie are taken out to avoid "offending" when the offense was the point. it becomes toothless, it becomes some other thing entirely. they changed karen's line "i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in" to "watch me as i run the world in shoes i cannot walk in." because choice feminism is in vogue, suddenly this character whose entire point is that she doesn't think deeply about WHY she does anything is suddenly hip to the fact that the world is against her.
i think of sokka losing his misogyny arc in the new atla. i think of the Heathers remake casting the bitchy, identical heathers as queer and hollywood-fat outcasts. as if the story, the meaning, the allegory is hidden in the sets and the jokes and the music. it's a whole new thing now, and it's a thing that means nothing in particular.
the plastics should not wear jeans. they should not have curves. their queerness should be suppressed, painful. their sexuality is not a slay, it's the only thing they think they have of value. the santa dance isn't sexy, it's shocking, it's mortifying - they are children.
they're not mean because "we are all mean." they are mean because they are girls in a world that brutalizes them and crushes them into a standardized shape. they are mean because the world is mean to them. they are mean because it gives them some power back. they are mean because it's the only weapon they have.
the landscape of femininity today has shifted to camera-ready makeup at the age of 10, stringent performative hygiene standards, and avoiding being caught on film while having a genuine emotion. the consumerism, the fatphobia, the racism, the classism, the homophobia remain. We could have had a conversation about that.
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FANTASIZE â
masterlist.
pairing: jake x reader
warnings: explicit sexual content, fem!human!reader, semi-public sex, piv sex, dirty talk, size kink, manhandling, breeding kink, cumming inside, glowy cum | wc: 16k | âŹ
note: i've been promoted to: avatar writer. my first time writing for it (def not my last!) lemme know what u think ;-) also his smirk in the header....GET INSIDE ME
â
⤠fantasize | all the time (if you were mine)
⤠It's official - Jake is sick and tired of Norm giving him shit. While he can't claim to know as much about Pandora as Norm does, there's still a few things Jake can afford to do to piss him off even more for the fun of it, and it just so happens that Norm's sister works as a scientist in the lab - which to Jake spells perfect revenge in its simplest form.
Itâs official â Jake has had enough of Normâs bitching and whining.
For the last two months, Jake has endured a lot, more than he ever asked for or wanted; whether it was Neytiri on his ass about becoming an Omatikaya and never missing a single beat of training for it, Grace nagging him about video logs, or even Norm giving him so much shit over every single thing he didnât spend three years learning in simulations and classrooms â heâs sat and listened to all of it without complaint.Â
Jake has never once fought back, never once raised his own grievances about how tedious and time-consuming everything actually is on one manâs shoulders, and yet it all keeps coming.
The worst thing is that he can understand all of it to an extent. Thereâs a necessary need for attentiveness when learning the ways of the Omatikaya, and the longer it takes, the worse his chances get with the rest of the clan. The video logs? Theyâre not that important, Jake thinks, but it keeps Grace off his back for the small kernel of time he actually spends in the real world and not inside of his avatar.Â
But with Norm, Jake canât seem to understand what is actually bothering him enough to be so goddamn bitter about every little thing.
Of course, heâll never fit into Tomâs shoes, not in the way everybody expects him to. He didnât spend three years of his life learning how to control an avatar or how to function on Pandora â every day is quite literally a learning experience, a practical education that neither a lab nor a stuck up prick like Norm can teach.Â
And, while heâs on the subject, Jake actually thought Norm would be a decent ally, at least until he almost died and got saved â with reluctance â by the daughter of the Oloâeyktan and somehow ended up being thrust into learning their way of life.Â
Nobody seems to remember the giant part of the story concerning how he almost got devoured by an oversized dog in the process.
Instead, Norm wants to bitch about how Jake knows nothing, and treats him like a genuine idiot. Jake might be a few years short of being educated on the Naâvi, but heâs not stupid. He can still do stuff, stuff that Norm canât; but reasoning with the man is like trying to convince the Naâvi that the Sky People are actually friends and not foes, and itâs pretty obvious that thatâs never going to happen.
When Norm begins his daily ritual of berating Jake on his lack-of knowledge regarding the Hallelujah Mountains that surround their shitty little containment, Jakeâs willing to sit through it and take it like a champion.Â
Norm starts weaving his conspiracies to the cluster of scientists about how Jake is a terrible candidate for joining the Omatikaya clan and that all he cares about is sucking up to the Chiefâs daughter â not true, by the way, for Neytiri can only stomach being near Jake because she has to and on rare occasions, he can do something absurdly dumb to make her laugh â and Jake begins to mentally tap out of the debate, rolling his eyes to the side and sighing as he watches you duck your head through a low archway with a bowl of slop in your hands.
Jake watches you for around three seconds before the lightbulb flickers alight above his head.
And then he grins.
Itâs hard to believe that you and Norm are related â Jake canât find any similarities between the two of you. Youâre incredibly compassionate and communicative, never letting Jake suffer in his silent struggle of stupidity, and not to mention youâre incredibly beautiful; whereas Norm is just⌠Norm. A bitter, angry, red-faced man who does a piss poor job at hiding his insatiable jealousy of how wasting your life in a classroom or behind a book actually means very little in the grand scheme of achieving your goals.Â
Example A: Jake of the Jarhead clan, ex-military, future Omatikaya. Cross-reference to Norm: sad loser. Jake signs his name on the mental essay heâs compiling as Norm drones on about culture and ignorance and narrows his gaze on you as you close in on the group.
Jakeâs actually always liked you. Youâre a no nonsense kind of woman who loves science and the Naâvi, and, unlike your brother, you actually treat him like an equal. Even now, as you slip next to him and lean back against the low metal work-surface, you meet Jakeâs gaze with an eye-roll and smile, and his grin only widens from it.
Oh, how he loves that you like him. Although you spend so much time engrossed in your work and documenting on paper whatever Jake recites from his daily activities within the clan, Jake happens to know that you like him, and in hindsight, itâs never been a secret. For the first time, Jake lets himself consider the possibility of that being just another reason for Norm to suddenly despise him, but the idea warms his stomach rather than churns it.
âI can totally see Jake ruining all of our chances at building bridges by just burning them all together,â Norm huffs, folding his arms and wrangling a dirty glare in his direction. Jake welcomes it with the same smile thatâs been blooming over his face for the past two minutes, which worsens Normâs mood.Â
âI donât see you building any bridges, either,â you say to Norm. âJakeâs been more valuable to this program than you have as of late.â
Norm bristles. âOne of us has actually been doing research while the other is trying to seduce an Oloâeyktanâs daughterââ
âJakeâs doing field research, Norm,â Grace says, her eyes still glued to her microscope. âAnd he knows better than to seduce anybody when we havenât properly studied the relations between Naâvi and avatars yet. And there are bigger issues at stake right now.â
âI can get results on that if you want me to,â Jake offers.
âNo, Jake.â
Jake shrugs. While Norm continues his tirade against Jakeâs rather noble endeavours with the Omatikaya, he turns his gaze back towards you and lets his mental clogs turn.
At this point, Jake thinks that even if you agreed with some of Normâs points, it wouldnât make any difference. There is absolutely nothing he can do to please Norm, and so maybe he should just stop trying. Then again⌠Thereâs something hideously funny in how worked up Norm gets when somebody jumps to his defence, particularly you.
And considering most of Normâs insecurities come from seeds he planted all by himself without any concrete evidence to support most of the points, Jake knows that anything he does from here on out will drive Norm into a slow burning insanity.
âIs it because Iâm in a wheelchair?â Jake asks suddenly.
Norm huffs. âOf course not. Itâs because you donât take any of this seriously. Everything is a game to you. All of us here have spent years building up to this assignment while you read a manual and called it a day.â
âWhat? Iâm serious. Iâm one of the best avatar drivers here,â Jake says smugly. Grace finally looks over with an irate look â something tells him he wasnât supposed to tell everyone that she had told him that.Â
Normâs face turns a whole new shade of pink.Â
âIâm also a quick learner. The Omatikaya are trusting me more and more each day, so while I go out there and find out valuable field research for this programââ Jake looks at you with a deliberately sweet look and you laugh quietly, ââyou can stay here and look at plants and mud and cells.â
âYou probably donât even know what a cell is.â
âSure I do. Where they lock up all the bad guys.â
Norm opens his mouth to say something more, probably missing the joke like he does every time, but this time Grace swirls in her chair and sighs loudly, looking between the two of them like they were children.
âAlright, ladies, youâve measured your dicks at equal length. Youâre both doing good work around here, so Norm, why donât you just let Jake go back to doing his work with the Omatikaya and you can just get some rest. Jesus, youâre both making everyone miserable, itâs affecting my work ethicâŚâ
âYeah, sweet dreams, Norm,â Jake calls, and Norm gives him a filthy scowl before snatching his things up off the desk, holding them secretively to his chest as he stomps towards the back room lined with their bunks.Â
Jake feels the dark and evil energy follow him out the room and then he finally looks around the lab in disbelief.Â
âJake, go, youâll be late, donât keep Neytiri waiting,â Grace reminds him, switching off the bulb to the microscope and stretching her arms as Trudy claps her hands and silently announces her retirement to the bunks after Norm. âDonât forget to make a log when you get back. Donât let him forget, will you, Spellman?â
Grace looks at you with a look that suggests no room for negotiation. It was an order. She collects her things, claps Jake on the shoulder and grabs a cigarette from the net by the archway and takes it with her towards her separated bedroom.Â
When the door to her little cubicle rattles shut, Jake shakes his head with a quiet laugh and rolls himself forward, giving you room to assemble your own work station where he had just been.
âStaying up late tonight?â he asks you, taking a swig of water before pushing one of the buttons to the link unit, waiting as it whirs to life.
You settle your stuff down and walk towards him. âYep. I actually do have some work on cells to finish up.â
Jakeâs lips quirk. âNot your usual ballpark, is it?â
âNo, but thereâs not really a surplus of Naâvi around here to communicate with,â you say in reply, rummaging with the unit to help Jake into the gel pack mattress. Usually he dismisses the help, but when itâs you helping him get comfy, then heâll stomach his pride and accept your kindness. Heâs surprisingly light, as normal, and you frown.Â
âDonât forget about the real world, Jake, you gotta take care of yourself.â
âDonât worry, I got this,â he assures you. âYou need anything while Iâm out?â
Another thing that will shave a few years off Normâs life â Jake bringing you things, extraordinary and otherwise unattainable when stranded in the mountains things for you to study and report. You hum thoughtfully at the offer, pushing his head down softly when he wriggles restlessly, a little too eager to get to whatever heâs doing in the forest tonight.
âIf you happen to cross paths with a tsawksyul, a simple cutting would be appreciated,â you tell him, opting for something a little more simple than normal, considering Jakeâs busy these days training. âIf you donât forget while youâre busy seducing daughters, of course.â
Jakeâs grin returns, if not out of genuine amusement then just to see you smile in return and do the little head-tilt thing that Jakeâs discovered he adores.
âNot my thing. More into scientists,â he tells you, watching in the final moments before you shut him in the pod at how you shake your head and turn yourself away from him.
There was no rejection. No refusal. Just a smile.
A smile that sets his plan into motion.
No wonder Norm is always in a terrible mood. You find that his notes on the cells found in the mossy undergrowth of the forest is as chaotic as it can possibly be, which has left you using Graceâs Bible on Pandora botany as a guide and squinting to find the connections between his barely legible notes.
Itâs basic knowledge that when cells die and a genetic material begins to unfold, a charge of energy is released; this concept has been the fundamental structural point to Normâs notes on the moss and how each step at night causes a ricochet of expanding light, but there has to be something more than everybody is missing. Even in Graceâs book, thereâs not enough information regarding how it works; if itâs connected to Eywa, if it is a response to another organism, whether it breathes and lives as its own entity.
Alongside Normâs notes, you very sparingly begin to make an analysis of the communicative features of Pandora plant life, and begin jotting a vocabulary to use in a later research assignment, when a sudden knock against the glass above your head makes you jump quite literally up and out of your seat.
The Hallelujah Mountains are so isolated from the rest of the human population on Pandora and used rarely by the Naâvi during the night, but you distinctly make out Jakeâs looming form standing outside with a smile on his face and relax. His skin is a bioluminescent explosion of colour, and for a moment youâre struck dumb staring at him until he waves his hand as if beckoning you outside.
You throw a cautious look over your shoulder, but the lab is silent and still. With that in mind, you reach for one of the exo-packs and shrug on your cardigan hanging on the back of the chair you were just on and hesitantly begin to make your way outside.
Very sparingly have you been outside of Site 26 to explore, and never once on your own. Grace has drilled into you the strict importance of respecting the laboratory rules and curfew, and if youâre going to wander outside after hours in the name of research, then please, wake her up too.Â
But you wonât be alone out there, not when Jake is waiting for you outside.
Jake drops to a squat in anticipation when the airlock doors to the lab force open with a wheezy breath, and he sees you cautiously step out and secure a button on your cardigan in place. The gesture almost makes him croon. He rarely sees you at night since heâs learned the value of getting rest in between his adventures in his avatar, but now he canât believe what heâs been missing out on seeing past his bedtime.
You look tired, your hair out of place and messy, but he recognises your attempt to look more alert when you step towards him with a slight bounce.
âHey, tĂŹyawn,â he calls to you, as you stare up at him even whilst drawing near. Thanks to the crouch, youâre about eye-to-eye, and he watches your expression widen with wonder as you map out the illustrations of light across his nose and cheeks, before sweeping to his forehead, then his neck, and then his bare chest.
âHey, yourself,â you laugh, finding his eyes again as they glow in the low light. The Pandora skies are littered with stars and balls of unimaginable white light, but even the surrounding forest gathering around the lab to protect it from the harsh dropping winds of the mountains are pulsing with purple light, every single shrub and leaf and plant glowing with life.
Jake stares at you for a moment before producing a gift from behind his leg. You take it from him with a wide and gasping smile.
âNo way!â
âWay,â Jake says, watching you handle the flower with so much care that one might assume it would break with your touch. With the way Jake was swinging it around on his way up here, heâs actually shocked that itâs still in one piece, but something in the way you respond to everything Jake does or brings tells him that even if heâd brought a portion of it, youâd be just as pleased.
âThanks,â you say, turning slightly as you tell him youâre going to put the tsawksyul in the lab for safe-keeping. But Jake reaches his arm out to trap you from leaving, cocking his head to the side with a soft smirk when you round back on him curiously.
âItâs not gonna die if you leave it out here, itâs a flower,â Jake tells you, jerking his head in another direction. âWanna look around with me?â
You pause, and he can tell youâre genuinely conflicted. Grace said not to leave the vicinity under any circumstances out of respect for the Naâvi and the lab rules. But she also said not to go outside without her, and here you are.
âGrace will be mad if she finds out Iâm gone,â you tell him slowly.
��Probably.â
âAnd Norm.â
Jake feels a rush of something at the mere mention of your brother, and his tail swishes against the rocks behind him.Â
Jake leans closer to you. âWell, him I donât care about.â
Mindful of the plant in your hand, you gently push Jakeâs chest back until he rolls on his heels, unable to fight the smile on your own face.
ââŚWhere will we be going? I canât go far just in case Grace wakes up and comes looking for me.â
Jake tilts his head up to the sky and to the top of the mountain peak that houses the lab. From his own experience scouting up there, Jake knows thereâs a small incubation of trees that offers a compelling view of the entire mountain range, as well as offering a minor collection of plants he thinks youâll die over once you see.
But that just wouldnât be as evil as what he originally had planned. He then rolls his head towards the small section of trees that border the back of the lab, close to where the bunks are, and he then looks back at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
âWeâll stay close,â Jake promises.Â
You hesitate once again and guiltily look at the lab. Itâs not like itâs going anywhereâŚ
âAlright,â you sigh, looking back at Jake and watching his smile widen as if heâs just obtained a great victory. Thereâs no room in your stomach for suspicion to grow â itâs overrun with butterflies when Jake points his head in the direction of the snug tree line and holds out his finger for you.Â
You stifle a laugh and reach to hold it, setting the tsawksyul on the ground tucked under the same window he just scared you from and join him on the slow walk to wherever he means to take you.
Being with Jake has always felt easy, but being with Jakeâs avatar is practically uncharted territory. Itâs a struggle to remember that it is actually the same man you like so badly back in the lab, the same guy who deliberately rams your ankles with his wheelchair just to watch the way you catch yourself as you fall, the same guy who you think uses you as a factor to piss off your brother but in a way that you find strangely attractive.Â
Now, heâs an almost ten foot Naâvi leading you in the whimsical dark towards a cluster of trees, and you donât know how to begin separating the feelings you have for Jake from the feeling of nerves you feel around his alter ego.
You can barely make out Jakeâs face all the way above your head, not until he feels your stare and looks down at you beside him. Thereâs a similarity in his human expressions with his Naâvi ones, which is fortunate considering there was a time where you thought the avatar looked more like Tom than it did Jake. Now that theyâre one in the same, and now that Jake is in front of you in his avatar form and the feelings you have for him are still lingering, youâre beginning to accept the likeness between the two of them.Â
âWhat did you do today?â you ask him, referring to his ritualistic training with Neytiri.
Jake hums thoughtfully. âNothing compared to Norm, Iâm sure.â
At that, you laugh. âIâm seriously asking, Jake.â
âAlright⌠Neytiri has me reading the signals of the forest whenever we go hunting,â he explains sparingly, seeming not in the mood to talk training now that youâve reached the lay of forest near the back of the lab. He surveys the setting and the space between the lab and the fringe of leaves and bushes and nods, as if satisfied but then pulls you deeper into the thrush of leaves.
âShe says everythingâs connected,â he continues. âShe also says Iâm a terrible shooter.â
âYouâre missing your shots?â you tease. Jake turns back to you with a grin that you honestly walked into when you asked.
âNot all of âem.â
After the short walk, Jake is finally satisfied with the burrow of bushes and rocks that outline the small selection of forest behind the lab, and he looks up to once again gauge the distance and is pleased when the lab doesnât look too far away. Jake hears you rustle and sit on one of the low rocks with your knees to your chest, and then drops to his usual squat in front of you, arms rested on his knees, gently fiddling with his fingers.
âHowâre your cells?â he asks, but youâre so busy gazing at the forest around you and the stars above your heads that he fears youâre not even listening. Jake instead settles for watching you.
He knows heâs in over in his head when even his avatar likes you. Jakeâs had nowhere near as much experience navigating his way around how to use this body than the other drivers, let alone time to understand the signals his body sends him or the feelings different things have to him, but he can tell the difference between being you friendly and not, even when heâs not totally familiar with how it all works. And on top of that, there are so many random variables to being Naâvi to get his head around that he never even thought of until Neytiri or Grace filled him in on what the hell was going on with his body at certain times of the month.
Heâs stupid sometimes, true, but not totally naive. Jake recognises the tug in his chest as he looks at you â he feels the same thing when heâs in his human body. Heâs no expert on Naâvi, never claimed to be, but he feels there must be something instinctive in the way he feels for you and the way his avatar senses it. And with Normâs fresh-faced hatred in full flush whenever Jake makes that fact known, heâs not at all surprised that those feelings have suddenly become so full frontal now that heâs had enough of Normâs bullshit.
âItâs amazing out here,â you say, to Jake but also to the wind as you completely crane your head up to look through the cracks in the branches and leaves. âDonât you ever wish Earth had looked like this?â
âI havenât really thought about Earth since I left,â he confesses, shuffling closer to you while youâre occupied with mapping out the stars in the sky.
âNot once?â You look down at him. If youâre taken aback by the sudden closeness between you, you hide it well.Â
Jake shrugs. âNothing I need is there.â
Fair enough. You stare at him for a moment and think about that before agreeing.Â
âMe too.â
The branches above your heads sway in a gentle breeze and Jake watches you hug your cardigan around yourself before asking, âSo, whyâre we here? Did you wanna show me something?â
âWhat, the stars not enough for you?â Jake looks up to the sky.
You laugh quietly. âIâll never get enough of them, actually. Beats the lab ceiling by a long shot. Looking at the stars through the windowâs not the same⌠I wish I didnât have to use this maskââ You throw him a playfully exasperated look, ââI wish I had an avatar.â
âWhy donât you?â Jakeâs never asked, never thought to ask. But youâre the only scientist in his close collective of scientist âfriendsâ who doesnât actually drive an avatar, and is instead limited to just studying everyone else's.
âIt was never really my thing,â you explain, settling comfortably atop the rock and throwing the glances to the sky away to focus on him. Like the lab, theyâre not going anywhere, and the ones tattooing Jakeâs skin are far more interesting. âOkay, thatâs a lie. I think the avatars are fascinating, just like the Naâvi, but sometimes you take what youâre given when youâre given it. Norm has always had to be better than I am, always one step ahead. Plus, our inheritance only stretched as far as to cover the contract costs of one avatar driver.â You laugh, âAnd Normâs older.â
âDamn, so we just got stuck with Norm,â Jake comments, only to make you laugh again, which thankfully works. âIâd have a better time out here if it were you and not him.â
âHeâs actually very insecure about that,â you tell him, watching his amusement grow without knowing the exact reasons for why. âHe always goes on about how your avatar is much more built. I guess Tom was just more athletic and the avatar reflects it, I donât think Normâs used so much as an elliptical since high school⌠Anyway, heâs very vocal on how unfair the avatar program is in that regard.â
âYou agree with him?â
Jakeâs fingers ghost across your ankle.
âOne: heâs my brother, and Iâm not going to answer that question honestly. And two: letâs not forget who the avatar is modelled off. Tom was very handsome.â
âGrowing up, I was always the pretty twin.â
You hum. âI couldnât tell.â
Jakeâs never ever considered the fact of you knowing his brother well before he died. Heâs never had to think about it before, not until now, but he pushes the thought away and falls back into the thoughts of what he came here to do in the first place.
âYou donât think Iâm handsome?â
He watches your grin widen. âI didnât say that, did I?â
Jake creeps forward slightly, and this time you notice, moving your toes back further towards your bum on the rock while Jake continues his close creeping.Â
âI think youâre a very pretty woman,â Jake murmurs. âBeautiful, even.â
âNormâs not here to get mad at you for saying that,â you remind him.
ââm not saying it for Norm to hear.â
You feel Jakeâs hand sliding to wrap around your ankle and you shudder when he smooths his way up to your calf. Youâve never interacted with any Naâvi like this before, never felt their skin pushing against your own. With a glance down at his hand, you frown and work your way back up to his face, his eyes lit up in the dark.
âItâs not fair that youâre using your avatar against me right now,â you mutter, making him laugh through his nose and bring his body closer to the round edge of the rock. He considers it progress when you remain rooted in place once his hands run up the length of your legs to your waist.
You watch his nostrils flare slightly as he observes you, which only makes you feel more nervous and trapped here.
âAll Iâm doing is talking,â says Jake.
You scoff at him. âDoes all your talking involve hands on the waist, Sully?â
He shrugs. âOnly with really pretty people.â
Jakeâs ears prick when you sigh and look back up at the stars. He doesnât move his hands, but he senses your body tensing beneath his touch, smells the change in your body as he speaks. Heâd love that part of being Naâvi a lot more if he knew what those changes meant exactly, and he canât figure it out even as he stares at you intently.
His thumbs smooth from left to right, feeling the nub of your ribcage with every stroke over your tank top and tries to level his face into one of absolute neutrality when you look back down at him.Â
âWhat are you doing, Jake?â
Not what he was expecting you to say, if heâs being honest.
âNothing,â he says.
âYouâre being weird,â you reply, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. It has the opposite effect, and you watch him struggle not to smile. His hairline raises when his brows do, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes when you figure him out, âDid you actually bring me out here just to flirt with me?â
He does nothing except look at you, as if the answer is painfully obvious and youâre stupid for not realising it sooner.
You sigh loudly. âJake, Iâm sorry that you didnât get the memo like everybody else, but you didnât need to lure me out the lab in your avatar if you wanted to get my attention.â
His thumb continues to move and his eyes drop slightly.
âI wouldnât say I lured you out here,â Jake replies. You watch his eyes zero back in on yours and you fight your body against the urge to wrap up and hide from him.Â
âYou canât be that stupid, I refuse to believe it,â you laugh disbelievingly, which makes him raise his brows questioningly. Even with a layer of plastic obstructing your face from his, Jake canât get over how pretty you look. âYou have to know that I like you even when youâre not a big blue alien.â
Jakeâs grin widens, his fangs glinting in the moonlight. âI know. Youâre really bad at hiding it.â
âOkay,â you say, feeling under your cardigan for his hands and attempting to wrestle them away, but he doesnât budge. You laugh again, as if the whole thing is genuinely funny for you, âthen you can always make your thoughts about that known when I see you in the lab. In person.â
âIâm not doing anything I wouldnât in there if I had the chance,â Jake tells you, moving his hands but only to sandwich them between your tank and your skin. The feeling of his palms flat against your stomach makes you jump slightly and reach for his wrist.Â
âPlease. I see you every single day.â
âYeah, and your brother, and Grace, and Trudy,â Jake points out. âI canât get a second alone with you. What would you have me do, make a move with your brother breathing down my neck about it?â
âYou could just be upfront. Save me from looking like an idiot.â
âCome on, baby, letâs be real.â
The smile he has on his face is unmoving, and you search every corner of it to find signs of his sincerity falling and find nothing. But something feels wrong.
Youâve spent close to two months in the long shadow drawn by everything else in Jakeâs life, and considering Jakeâs newfound role of future Omatikaya warrior, you feel that the time he spends in your company has become less and less. So now that Jake has decided to pick up on whatever signals you were sending him and respond to them, you assume itâs all in the name of good fun to piss off Norm.
Feeling Jakeâs hands creeping up your body in the middle of the Hallelujah Mountains and with no older brother here to glare at either of you, youâre rethinking everything you thought you had figured out.
âI donât get it,â you say finally.Â
Jake just laughs quietly. âYou thought I just rammed my wheelchair into your feet for fun?â
âYou mean to tell me that was your way of showing interest?â you ask unconvincingly.
ââŚNah. I liked watching you fall, though,â he grins. Jake picks himself up from his squat and looms over you like a shadow, watching you fall back onto your forearms as you stare up at him. He sets one knee between your legs and leans down slightly, breathing in deeply in a way that has you thinking heâs actually sniffing the air around you.Â
âHoney, Iâm all kinds of obsessed with you.â
You blink. âYou certainly gave nothing away.â
âI bring you shit all the time.â
âIâm a scientist, I didnât know you did that because you liked me. I thought it was just because I wanted better samples than Norm.â
âI mean, that definitely helped motivate me to find everything.â
âYou never even told me you liked me.â
âWell, Iâm telling you now.â
âOkay, well, tell me tomorrow when youâre awake and not allâŚbig,â you frown.Â
Jake chuckles. âYou donât like me now, or something?â
âI definitely never said that. I just want to hear human Jake Sully tell me how he feels without using his avatar to try and win me over.âÂ
Jakeâs tail swishes behind him. âYou prefer the dummy in the wheelchair?â
âI like your wheelchair,â you tell him quietly, running your hand up his arm as he pins you flat against the boulder with a hand on your stomach.Â
âI donât,â he murmurs. âI like being like this. I like being bigger than you. I like smelling how much you like me.â
All of a sudden, your legs swing shut around him and you look at him in disbelief.
âFreak.â
All he does is smile.Â
âCome on, Jake, I actually donât have time for this,â you say around a groan, trying to move against him but failing miserably. An exasperated smile falls on your face. âReally? What are you even trying to achieve? Youâre seducing me with your avatar?â
His ears twitch and he angles his head to the side. âYes?â
âWhy am I getting the impression that all of this has something to do with Norm somehow?â you sigh in reply, but Jake notices the way you fall relaxed underneath him, and he has the feeling youâre in no real hurry to get anywhere else tonight.Â
âWell, it might have something to do with it,â Jake confesses, his voice lower than it was before as he draws his nose close to you and takes a deep inhale. The feeling of his braid flicking down from his back and brushing against your thighs makes you shudder, not to mention the feeling of his snout against your collarbones. âReally, I just want to spend some time with my girl while I got the chance to.â
Whatever you want to say or have planned to say dies away when you feel Jakeâs lips wander and press against your sternum.Â
Sighing, you shift your hands to his arms that have you pinned down and carefully squeeze. âGood luck with that, Sully.â
He runs his tongue flat against your skin and hears you exhale through your nose, a noise of satisfaction muffled by your closed mouth, and all at once, Jakeâs decision is final.
He is going to fuck Normâs sister.Â
And heâs going to rub salt on Normâs wounds by doing it in the way that will piss him off the most.
Jake kisses his way down the length of your body, his hands moving around your figure like a sculptor until his hands find their way to your thighs. Though oversized and covering most of them, Jakeâs hands circle around the width of your thighs and he strokes his thumbs across the inside skin of them, all while laughter bubbles in your chest.
All of this is just so absurd. If someone had told you this morning that Jake so much as liked you back, it would have taken some convincing, but if they had gone as far as to suggest heâs be attempting to seduce you in his avatar in a little chunk of forest behind the lab you pretty much live in, you would have laughed at the delusion of the thought. But now, thereâs no denying the very tangible view of Jakeâs Naâvi hands pressing down on your thighs, his eyes staring up over the slope of your body as you pick your head up to look down at him.
âThis is crazy,â you gasp.
Jakeâs teeth reveal themselves against the stretch of skin he was just pressing kisses onto, his smile widening as he speaks. âYou donât want to, baby?â
You weigh your options. Itâs either leave and go back to the lab and hope that Jake follows through on his apparent feelings for you in the morning⌠Or you can relax and enjoy.
âJakeâŚâ You pause for a moment. You want to enjoy it, and you feel the pool of desire deepen inside of you and know itâs a sensation Jake can most likely smell.Â
Heâs still your Jake, still the same guy you dote over when he remembers he has a life outside of being Naâvi. The only difference now is that heâs blue, and mobile, and double your size in every definition of the word. And suspiciously attractive, but you donât know for certain if you think that because itâs Jake or because itâs actually true as a fact. But you just canât help but wonder if Jakeâs climaxing feud with Norm is the only reason heâs pinning you to a boulder in the forest and kissing your stomach.Â
âYouâre not just doing this to piss off Norm, are you?â you ask, feeling serious all of a sudden. The only way you know Jake notices is from the way his ears flatten against his head and his eyes grow round with concern.Â
In the light, his tail flicks from side to side in the way you recognise most Naâvi do when theyâre nervous, and you fight the urge to look away from him when he stays quiet for a second, thinking of what to say in a loud silence.
Of course heâs doing this because he knows it will piss Norm off if and when he finds out. As soon as Norm catches a stinking whiff of Jake on your body when heâs in his own avatar surveying the mountains, there will be nowhere for Jake to run or roll off to and avoid Normâs volcanic rage. But he knows as well that this is a long time coming â that heâs been chasing circles around your feet for the fun of it, and now the chance has come for him to bring what heâs buried to the surface and shape it into something more.
Jake very carefully thinks of what to say. âKnowing that if I fuck you right now it will piss off your insanely annoying brother makes me want to do it more. But if the only reason I was fucking you was to piss him off, then Iâd be doing it in front of him.â
Your brows raise.Â
âOkay, that came out wrong,â Jake says quickly. âMy point is⌠I go crazy thinking about you. And everything I think about doing to you can be made possible when Iâm, as you said, all big.â
âBut⌠Normââ
Jake groans, all smiles. âOh my god, can we please stop bringing up your brother for a sec? Itâs a huge turn off.â
âIt doesnât make me feel any sexier, either,â you point out, âbut Iâm just thinkingââ
âDonât think,â Jake tells you. âThis is the one time you donât have to think about anything at all except for how youâd like me to take care of you.â
Jake returns his face to your stomach as you blink furiously, a flustered feeling creeping up over your body at the bluntness of his words. If you thought he was playing around, youâre officially convinced when his hands tighten around your thighs and he spreads them apart, pinning them down against the boulder heâs made your bed for the night. You inhale a deep breath when Jakeâs thumbs dip underneath your shorts, bunched around your inner thighs.
âI suppose it would be like killing two birds with one stoneâŚâ
Jake laughs against your skin. âJesus Christ, Spellman, quit talking so much. Who knew you were such a yapper?â
âAm not,â you protest.
You shudder when he plants another kiss on your abdomen, pings the fabric of your shorts back against your skin with a sharp sting and he grunts with a nod.
âOkay,â Jake agrees, his ears high and tail swishing playfully. âNow take off your cardigan.â
Still watching Jake on your forearms as he hooks his fingers around the waistline of your shorts in an effort to pull them down, you wrangle a sigh of protest and lift your lower body up for him, all whilst reaching for the buttons on the front of your cardigan.Â
You breathe heavily as you mumble, âDo you really need to take off all my clothes, Sully?â
âOne of us is halfway there, honey, and itâs not you,â replies Jake. His golden eyes watch with intent as he pulls the shorts down the expanse of your legs with your underwear in tow. As you shudder with the breeze fanning between your legs, Jake takes a big inhale and stares.
He barely moves an inch once the shorts and panties are in a bunch around your feet, but you busy yourself by sweeping a look at Jakeâs own attire, or striking lack of. Between his legs hangs his tewng, a simple and sparsely intricate item of clothing that leaves little to imagination when it comes to what is growing between his thighs.Â
Itâs standard attire for the Omatikaya, but youâve never seen it up close, and never on Jake himself. It hits you then that heâs still in his entire hunting gear, as if he finished up with Neytiri and brought himself here right away.
Jakeâs thighs clench as he finally moves, readjusting his footing in his dropped squat; to him, this position has become as natural as breathing, but you stare at his thighs bulging and wonder how heâs not in agony from it alone.
Jake looks up at you after his allocated time spent analysing the spot growing wet between your legs and you gulp, feeling almost nervous.Â
âWell, youâre gonna be an Omatikaya soon. One of the consequences is wearing your little g-string everywhere.â
His head leans to the side as his amusement grows. âItâs called a tewng, genius.â
That makes you laugh, and say in a melodic and sweet tone, âI know.â
But Jake bites back with the same sweet tone as you and says, âThen shut up,â and you comply. Itâs the least you can do for him when he smooths his big hands back between your legs and up close to your cunt.
Pressing a kiss to the inside of your knee, Jake inches his hands further, relishing in a deep breath as he returns to staring at the spot just inches from his fingers. From his perspective, you are hideously tiny; given the obvious lack of research on Naâvi and human sexual relations, Jake isnât totally sure youâll be able to withstand what he wants to give you.
Worth a try, though.
Jakeâs chest rises and falls as he stares in wonder at your pussy, the scent divinely pronounced, and he runs one of his fingers between your folds and up, collecting the juices on his finger as he rounds your clit in a rather observational manner.Â
You bristle, your legs instinctively trying to close â all the good it does, as Jake pushes them back open. His eyes flicker back up to yours, as if assessing his next steps, before he lowers his mouth to your cunt and without doing you the kind service of looking away, stares at you as he spreads his tongue flat between your folds.
His actions earn him a strangled moan of pleasure, and his ears twitch in satisfaction. The feeling of his tongue against you is strangely addicting, rough and soft at the same time, warm and wet and enough for your hips to lift.Â
âJakeâŚâ You gasp, feeling your eyes close, half with the pleasure of it all and also sheer embarrassment.Â
Like a predator watching its prey, Jake never looks away from your face and the way it twists, your jaw hanging open as he licks your cunt. With the size of his head alone, his tongue virtually covers every corner of your pussy with no difficulty, leaving you with no untouched itch, no ignored stretch of wet skin.Â
You canât even bear to look down at him again, and you toss your gaze up to the stars as they twinkle above, blinking, conspirators to your escapade. Biting down on your lip to stop yourself from moaning too loud, your hips slowly roll up and down as Jake sucks around your clit, his big hands working overtime to keep you from wriggling away entirely off the rock and to the ground.
âOh, godâŚâ
Between your legs is a flurry of warmth, a tingling feeling rippling down to your toes. After five dry years, it comes as no real shock that even someoneâs tongue could be ripping this kind of response from you.Â
âYou good?â Jake murmurs.
âMmh. Hot,â you rasp. It doesnât help that thereâs an exo-pack warming your face with every deep breath you take. Jake moves his mouth from your cunt momentarily as if trying to hear you, watching with curious eyes when you bite back another noise which stirs as he slides his finger towards your entrance.Â
âThis mask is really ruining my vibe right now,â you groan, your voice so throaty and strangled that Jake has to fight a smirk. He fails miserably.
âTake it off and hold your breath,â Jake replies; a laugh rumbles from his chest when you lift your head to scowl at him.
âIt would frighten people if they knew how much of a genius you were.â
Jake hums, his eyes glistening as he cocks his head, âIâm incredibly humble.â Then he wastes no more time talking and sinks his finger into you.
He sinks in with plenty of ease, your wetness guiding his finger all the way in to the knuckle and you choke back a strangled sound; one of Jakeâs fingers feels like two of your own, the stretch unfamiliar but not unwelcome after your dry spell of five cryo-stolen years.Â
Jake grins widely and inches his tongue back between your legs, swiping it over your clit and forcing the moans out from hiding in your throat.
You turn your head to the side, sparing a glance at the distant laboratory. You can only hope youâre not loud enough to startle your sleeping colleagues and brother.
âEyes down here, Spellman,â Jake mumbles, his voice vibrating across your pussy and pulling your eyes back towards him. Tears spring to your eyes as he looks up at you, working his fingers in and out of you slowly while matching his licks to the tempo.
His tongue is slightly rough and textured, each lick leaving you feeling almost ticklish. A rush of warmth pulls from your cunt up to your neck, and your thighs tremble around his head with a flushed squeeze, but Jake doesnât seem to mind; he pulls your one leg further apart with his other hand and slips in a second finger, the stretch of your hole making your back arch with a half pained, half pleasured moan.
âJake!â you gasp, your hips bucking up against his mouth, his fangs brushing across you. He has the nerve to laugh all of a sudden, pulling his mouth away after pressing a sloppy kiss to your clit. âJesus, fuck, Jakeââ
âGoddamn, you are a yapper,â Jake comments, and you glare at the almost human look of pure smugness on his face, his chin coated with saliva and juice.Â
âFuck you,â you huff, feeling the absence of his tongue immensely, despite his continuously moving fingers. Jakeâs fingers are thicker than they looked from afar â it feels like youâre full already, but youâre not willing to confess that to him. He already looks far too proud with what heâs doing.
You suppose, now that youâre thinking about it, Jakeâs had years to become familiar with a pussy; he seems to be back between your legs with a certain hunger for you, the taste of your juices sweeter than he initially expected.Â
His fingers are coated in juice, slipping into you with no resistance and curling his fingers up to make your hips lift once more. He almost wants to make a comment to fluster you, to tell you how insanely good it feels for your cunt to be quivering around his fingers, welcoming him up there as if youâd prepared for them beforehand. Jake parts his fingers inside of you, stretching you out, his mouth comfortably attached to you.
His ears twitch when you let out a wobbly cry â actually, heâs not sure if youâre crying for real or not. His eyes follow your hand as it creeps down to the hood of your pussy, just above his nose, and he pulls his mouth away for a split second.
âNo, no, go back,â you pant, and like a dog given a command, Jake pulls his soggy fingers out of your cunt and pushes his head back between your thighs, satisfied by your own pleasured sounds when he does.
Jake hooks his arm across your lower stomach, effectively pinning you to the sloping boulder while he uses his other hand to keep your legs wide apart. You forget all about modesty and self-control and open them as wide as you can for him to help, your hand stroking the top of Jakeâs hair as he burrows his way back between the wet spot he was devouring.Â
You suck in a tight and high-pitched breath when Jakeâs tongue shifts from left to right over your clit, the feeling of his tongue strange and almost like a vibration. Your hips lift from the boulder again and shift up and down â Jakeâs barely even trying, barely broken a sweat, but when he glances up at you heâs both amused and surprised by how twisted in pleasure you look. All he can see is the underneath of your jaw tilted to the sky, and one of your hands curling up around your tit under your tank top.
Jake guides his arm from trapping your abdomen up to push the bottom of your tank up above your wrist. Thereâs no way heâll let you gatekeep the sight of your tits when heâs the one making you touch yourself in the first place. His eyes are wide with excitement when you fist the fabric of your tank and yank it up above your boobs, the curve of them bouncing with the quick movement of your hand.Â
Jake groans into you, his tail curling up high. Jakeâs tasted a lot of pussy in his life, but he doesnât know what exactly youâve done to taste so good to him. He momentarily convinces himself that it feels different because heâs in a whole other body â it must just be because heâs big and strange and heâs been fucking you in his mind for a while now that you somehow feel ten times better than anyone else heâs ever been with.Â
The pool of warm juice between your legs leaves you incredibly soft and squishy, like a tĂŹhawnuwll that he has to remind himself he canât just sink his teeth into.
It could be because youâre Normâs sister. Could be because you usually appear so big when heâs resorted to sitting down all day, but now youâre helplessly tiny underneath him, trapped by his arms and head. Or it could just be because heâs an idiot who quashes his feelings rather than gives in to them.
He blinks. Your hips are so high off the boulder that Jake has to bring his arm back down to hold you in place. The less you squirm, the more drawn out he can make it, but heâs acutely aware of the tremor in your legs, the impatient rutting against his lips, the painful hardness under his tewng.
âSweet,â he grumbles. The word leaves you flustered, and the heat brewing like a bomb against his open mouth begins to rise through your body again. You forget to be quiet as you let out a high-pitched moan, feeling your toes curl in your boots and you desperately finger at your nipple, rolling and tugging on the hardened nub of flesh as Jake pins you tighter against the boulder. He laves his tongue down your cunt towards your entrance, the warm tip of it pushing to the tightened hole that Jake wants more than anything to squeeze himself inside.
âMf â Jake, come on,â you whimper.
One of his thin brows raises. âYou seduced yet?â
âFuck off. Yes.â
You feel the rumble of his laughter against your pussy. Jake presses a kiss against it and then moves his mouth to the soft skin of your inner thigh.Â
âI never let a woman go without making her cum,â Jake says, his voice muffled against your leg. He feels you quiver beneath him, and his grin widens. âYou wanna at least cum first, right?â
âPlease, Jakeââ
A startled cry of pain rips from your throat when Jake gently sinks his teeth into your leg â Jake knows his own strength and pulls back before he can draw blood, glancing at the red outline of his teeth imprinted into your leg, a ridged ring of saliva in his wake. Your head is lifted entirely to gape at him, and he looks at you with a coy expression.
âDid you just bite me?â
He smirks. âAccident. Sorry.â
âYeah right.â Your legs shift slightly around him, but Jake can smell the twisting agony of pleasure leaking out of you â heâs never been more thankful for his Naâvi body and its strange sense of smell than he is now, to be able to pick up on the need you try to hide from him, a scent he actually understands. Normally he can admire your determination, but right now, heâs more concerned with finding out how to break down your walls and unravel you the way he knows youâve been wanting him to for the last two months.
He smooches the bite one more time, his ears pricking when you whimper out a sort of desperately small sound and say, âCome on, Jake. You got me out here, donât torture me about it.â
âMe eating your pussy not enough for you?â he asks smugly. He knows it would be more than enough â call him conceited, but heâs sort of an expert on it by now.
You donât say much, nothing worth noting, at least. Jakeâs ears are tall as he lifts his head slightly, but his thumb continues to rub up and down your slit, carefully smoothing over your swollen clit almost sympathetically.
âPlease,â you beg in such a small and desperate voice that Jake smiles at the sound. You see his eyes flutter, half-lidded, as he cocks his head to the side until his temple is against your knee.Â
âHm? You just wanna say please and get it over and done with?â Jake mutters. âYou canât take any more of my fingers?â
âDonât be a prick,â you whimper. âYou want it, too.â
You feel that unkind heat simmer over you again, but not for the reason you expect. Jake blinks at you lazily, like an unimpressed cat, and then you watch as his eyes curve into crescent moons, the slint of gold virtually glowing in the Pandoran night. Then, the fucker smiles again, looking so smug that you feel embarrassed somehow, caught under his gaze.
âYeah, I do,â agrees Jake. âIâve been wanting you a long time.â
âThen, come on,â you urge. Something excited claws at you, and you feel your heartbeat race when he lifts himself slightly. âCome on, big guy. You got me out here, you win.â
He swells with pride, pleased by what is leaving your mouth in a flustered flurry.Â
âYou think you can take me all by yourself?â he asks, his hands coming to rest on your knees as he turns his gaze back to the clenching hole between your legs. Jake looks almost thoughtful as he stares at you, as if analysing. âYou could only just take two fingers.â
For such an intelligent woman, Jake finds himself amazed when you look anxious about that statement. What, do you really think heâll just give up and go? Jake doesnât care if it takes all night to get himself up your snatch, because no matter what, heâll get himself in there.
He sniggers when your mouth flounders like a little fish, your tank sliding with the angle of your body back down over your tits, but then he tuts and reaches back to pull it up. In fact, he decides itâs better off, and he uses one finger to pull the whole thing up to your chin, and lets you suffer in an anxious string of actions â you tug the tank up over your head, eyes wide, lip pouting.Â
âWanna try?â Jake asks, if not to speed along the increasing agony of his hard cock tenting under his tewng then just to put you out of your misery. âOr should I go back for seconds?â
âJakeâŚâ Your chest rises and falls as you gape at him. He went through all the trouble to get you here, and although you never expected to look at Jakeâs avatar and feel a throb between your legs, you canât even look at him without feeling overcome with the terrible, pressing desire to squeeze whatever weapon he has under his loincloth into your cunt. Jake watches your eyes look down at the darkness between his legs, to the pretty band of string tied around his middle, and then looks back at you with a sickeningly sweet expression.
âAw, honey. You want me to fuck you?â
It takes an incredible amount of effort not to scowl at him. Jake is lucky he looks so attractive with your arousal around his lips, otherwise youâd be up off the boulder and marching back to the labs for being so unbelievably full of himself.Â
But even though heâs double your size and consumed by a cocky smugness from being able bodied and towering over you, you canât think of enough reasons to warrant your leave. The only things on your mind are how much itâll hurt to get him inside you, and how good itâll feel once he is.
âThatâs why you brought me here, after all, isnât it?â you murmur, your lips curved slightly when he bows his body over you, his hands flat against the boulder on either side of your waist. âYouâve been thinking of me, right? Oeyä sayrĂŹp tsamsiyu â you must have thought about this every time you went and found me a flower, right?â
Jakeâs smile turns wolfish. âYap, yap, yap.â
You all but whine underneath him. It is so unbecoming of you to be so desperate for something that you resort to writhing like a brat, but with Jake just straddling over you without doing anything, you feel the eager feeling of want coiling in your lower stomach. Your hole clenches around the air, as if trying to feel for Jakeâs fingers again, and you lift your hips up off the boulder as if to entice him.
He barely even looks down at you, which only infuriates you more.Â
For a moment, you wonder if the only reason he lured you out here was to satiate a desire of his own; maybe he just wanted to prove that he still had what it took to make a woman beg for him â though he neednât have tried so hard, considering youâd have writhed and whined for him just as much, if not more, had he just made it known that he knew about and returned your feelings sooner.
But having you touch him in an impossible silence in the shared bunks pales in comparison to now, to having you look so small and soft and inviting; for you to beg for him, to let yourself be ravaged by him in all of his strength. Why would he prefer to have you while he feels useless when he can make the most of the strong, brawny and big body his brother passed down to him?
Jake breathes deeply through his nose and chews on the inner skin under his lips. You watch in the dark as his tail coils, his ears flat, until he lowers his body down like heâs doing a press up and pushes his nose against your sternum.Â
âYou smell so pretty, baby girl,â Jake mutters, pressing a kiss against the skin sloping between your tits. Biting your lip does little to suppress the moan that spills out when Jake cups one of his hands around your breast, and you hold the back of his hand as he gently squeezes.Â
The hanging cloth of his tewng brushes past your pussy and you jolt in surprise, just in time for Jake to bring his mouth down over your other boob. The sheer size of Jake dwarfs every feature of yours, but something about your tiny size only excites him more.Â
With his lips wrapped around your tit, you try your hardest to muffle another moan at the feeling of his tongue toying around your nipple, desperately trying to find something to focus on that isnât the absurdly good feeling of Jakeâs mouth or the tewng brushing past your pussy every time Jake rocks his hips backwards and forwards.
You clench your hand over his, feeling your legs squirm around him as his sharp teeth scrape against the squishy curve of your breast. Fear should rip through you when you feel his teeth tighten around the top of your tit, but it doesnât; instead, a rush of warm excitement burns you from the inside out when Jakeâs cheeks hollow, sucking a purple blot into your skin.
âHeyââ you say cautiously, but the damage is already done. Itâs as if Jakeâs determined to make you the same shade as him; the mark he leaves is blooming and bright, and he looks all too proud of himself when he looks up in acknowledgement of your voice. His tail thrashes excitedly.Â
âLeaving that so everyone can see what you were doing when they wake up,â Jake explains, licking a strip from the swelling bruise to your neck for good measure. âMy dirty scientist.â
That is if you ever make it back to the lab in one piece.Â
Feeling the pleasure spreading across your body, youâre half contemplating staying here on this rock forever, hoping that Norm or Grace never come back here looking for samples only to find your corpse. Youâre overcome with a conflicting contrast of emotions â you suddenly feel so exposed, so unraveled, half guilty for encouraging Jake to shove his big blue fingers up your crotch, and even guiltier about the fact that you want more from him.
âEnough. Come on,â you huff, and Jake dips his attention back to the rutting of your hips, the glossy shine of your arousal. âWhile Iâm wet.â
âYou really think Iâm gonna let you dry up before I can get inside you?â Jake asks, as if the idea is beneath you both. âHave some confidence in me, Spellman.â
âI do. Full confidence. So, come on, gimme.â
Jake grins; he leans his weight up on one knee and in the light, you can just about see the protruding point of his tewng and feel your desire pooling. Itâs only when Jake undoes the string around his waist and frees what hides beneath that you start to feel your body tense unexpectedly; it is beyond you how Jake has managed to keep the spear he calls his cock hidden for so long, and even more unthinkable as to how it will fit inside of you.Â
You stare at it with wide eyes. Meanwhile, Jake holds the base of it with his hand and assesses the space between your legs again. When he guides the tip to your folds and strokes himself up and down, you feel your heartbeat quicken and your legs turn like jelly.
âYou like it?â he asks, ever so sweetly, as if itâs a new gift brought back for you to enjoy. In a way, it is a gift, something for you to sample. Jakeâs body seems to vibrate with nothing short of delight at the speechless state his dick has left you in â and he hasnât even put it in yet.
âBig, right?â he continues to ask, a smirk on his face.
All you can say is, âhow do you walk around with that thing?â
He barks out a laugh, his head tilted to the stars as his smirk widens. Jake then pushes the tip against you again with his thumb, choking down his amused sniggers as he drags himself up and down your cunt, and more than anything, he wishes he could see your face better in the moonlight. Luckily, Jakeâs spent hours staring at you in his wheelchair to be able to piece together the smudges of your features he can see in the reflection of light hanging over the front of your mask. And what he canât see, heâll hear, and what heâs not satisfied with not seeing heâll seek from you again later.
âItâll be a tight fit,â Jake thinks out loud, prodding the tip of his cock against your entrance and looking up at you once you whimper, âbut I know you can take it.â
âI dunno⌠Looks kind of bigââ
âYou can fit it in,â he tells you confidently.
But now youâve seen it, youâre slightly nervous. âWhat if I canâtâ?â
âYou were just begging me for it,â Jake says pointedly. âWhile Iâm wet, you said.â Then, he leans forward so that the wide slope of his nose is pushed against the front of your mask. âI donât care if it takes all night trying. Iâll help you fit it all in, okay?â
You breathe in sharply, feeling your hips grinding up against him. Jake tries to find sympathy for you; he supposes that if he were you and some ten foot Naâvi was trying to burrow his cock between his legs, heâd be apprehensive too.Â
âJustâŚâ you rasp, watching him desperately, and he waits kindly, though his tip is on the verge of being swallowed by your cunt. Your legs tremble when he smiles at you, one hand on his cock, the other flat against the boulder. âJust go slow, okay?â
The way he looks at you is as if youâve just said something stupidly endearing. âSure thing, Spellman.â
Jake does his best to keep up his presented facade of coolness, but you feel so warm and wet, his arm begins to shake as he supports his weight on the boulder, grunting when he aligns his cockhead with your hole and very slightly pushes in. Even though he only just had his fingers up there, he can feel your pussy resisting, and itâs only the tip.Â
Your mouth hangs open with a pained whine, the stretch uncomfortable but in spite of it, you arch your back as if trying to feel more of him inside of you.
âEasy,â he chuckles, very slowly pushing more of himself into your pussy. The noises from your mouth grow louder, and something proud purrs in his chest. His tongue pushes against the inside of his lower lip as he smirks, teeth showing, as he makes an almost amused groan. Youâre insanely tight, and unbelievably squishy and wet â and hey, itâs been five years for him, too.
âYeah,â Jake groans, pushing his hips further and pulling out, each stroke gentle and tentative. He wants more than anything to go rough, to make you mewl and cry and curl up against him, but the tearful look on your face makes him reconsider. Each time he sinks in a little bit deeper, softening the resistance of your walls as they make room for him.Â
It takes an incredible amount of self restraint to stop himself from shoving all of it in at once; youâre so tight, the tightest pussy heâs ever felt closing around his cock, and easily the best. Jake closes his eyes for a second, honing in on the squeezing clench around his cock and the unnerving, uncharacteristic silence leaving your gaping mouth.Â
âTalk to me, Spellman,â Jake groans, inching deeper inside. His ears perk again when you cry as he sinks in deeper. âSay something.â
âYou told me I talked too much,â you manage out, admirably trying your hardest to remain quiet despite the pushing twelve inches of Naâvi cock up your cunt. Jakeâs barely even inside of you; more of his dick is out than it is stuffed inside.Â
âI love hearing you talk,â replies Jake, even though he had just poked fun at your ability to talk someoneâs ear off. Had he known it would swear you into silence now, heâd have never said anything. What Jake wants now most of all is to hear your voice again, hear your pleasure, your instructions, your pleas.Â
Hearing you slip out a high pitched moan when he pushes more of his cock inside of you feels like a reward almost.Â
âCould listen to you yap away all damn day,â he murmurs quietly, his eyes finding yours behind the glaze of the exo-pack. âI know youâve always got something to say, so whyâre you so quiet all of a sudden?â Jakeâs grin brightens when you manage to suck in more of his length, âTalk to me, baby, tell me what you want, hm?â
âJust⌠Put it in,â you whimper, and his eyes widen excitedly.Â
âYou said to go slow.â
âI know what I said, but I need more.â Your eyes are so blown open heâd laugh if it didnât look so goddamn sexy. âPlease, Jake.â
âYou sure?â he croons.Â
âMm. Please â come on, pleaseâ!â
Jake snaps his hips forward so quickly that more than half of dick disappears inside of you, and the primal noise that leaves your mouth takes Jake completely by surprise.Â
âFucking shit, mama,â Jake groans, his voice rasped as he bows his chest over yours, dropping to his forearm on the boulder as he adjusts to the warmth enveloping him. âHoly shit.â
You swallow a deep breath, your hands gripping tightly to Jakeâs shoulders which forces his eyes to your face. He can make out the distinct shimmer of tears under your eyes, and he brushes his fingers across the side of your neck, tapping you to bring your eyes open and searching for him in the dark.Â
âYou with me?â he asks, chuckling slightly. âYou good?â
âOh my god,â you squeal, cunt clenching. âWaitââ
âBreathe,â Jake says quietly, pressing a kiss to the swollen bruise he sucked into your skin earlier. âYou can do it, pretty girl.â
âKeep moving, it hurts when you just stay still.â
âYes, maâam,â he mutters, his hips falling back into a slow rhythm to keep you adjusted to his twitching cock. Itâs almost disturbing how easily youâre taking him now heâs forced more of his length inside, how wet and responsive you seem to be as he sinks deeper into you.
At first, Jake goes slow, familiarising himself with every noise you give him, every twitch and shift in your body, every clench around him. You feel the smooth ridges of his cock kissing your insides, the sensation unfamiliar and strange but so fucking good. He snakes one hand under your back when you lift up off the boulder; his large palm is flat against the arch of your spine, his fingers curled around your hip.Â
You look like a toy underneath him, something he could easily just hold with one hand and fuck himself up into.
His hips snap again, faster than he intended, and more of his dick disappears inside of you. You could easily take all of him if he took his time getting you to that point, but the warmth wrapping around him like a glove is so sinful that he canât think of anything less appealing than going slow. He sucks in a deep breath through his teeth and squeezes your waist with his hand; one desperate little cry from your mouth later, and Jake forgives himself for having waited so long to get you in this position, to fuck you stupid.Â
Itâs been so long since Jakeâs been able to fuck a woman like this, and for his first time since his accident to be with you, of all people â well, Jake could think of no greater victory, no better reward for all the shit heâs endured so far.Â
He stares down at the gap between your legs, watching as his dick vanishes and reappears with every rock of his hips. Youâre taking it so well, like a champion. Pride blooms in his chest â heâd expect nothing less from his woman.
Pulling your hips down slightly to meet him as he thrusts up, Jake shoulders the control and moans in a low tone, pushing until he feels your body seize underneath him. Then, he pulls back, falls back in, and gets himself comfortable.
The stretch no longer burns the way it did, but you feel as though you can barely breathe as Jake ruts his hips up. Heâs so big in every definition of the word. He doesnât seem to notice nor care about the deep indent of your fingernails in his shoulder; he seems entirely devoted to gaining momentum, creating his own pace with his ears flat against his bowed head.
âGod⌠Jake,â you moan, feeling the slight point of the boulder against your shoulder blades and his hand squeezing your middle as you finally speak, after what feels like eons of silence to Jake.
He latches his gaze to the rise and fall of your breasts as he fucks you, his breathing heavy. âOh, you like that?â
Ever so slightly, he hastens his pacing, eliciting a tearful sob from your mouth. âMmfââ
âIs it everything you hoped for?â
His stomach churns when you laugh, albeit with a strangled kind of tone, and clench around his cock again.
âYouâre so full of yourself.â
âSoâre you,â he points out, lifting his chest slightly to glance down at your stomach. It should be criminal how turned on he feels by the sight of his own dick outlined in your lower tummy â it should be criminal how insanely good it feels knowing heâs fucking a part of you nobody else has before. Youâve lost all self control as you decide to let yourself be noisy, which Jake is all too pleased to hear.
Peering down at your hips, you marvel at the sight of Jakeâs frightening length pushing up against your stomach. It looks just as weird as it feels. Jake hisses and runs a hand across the spot his dick is hitting.
âFeel that?â he asks. He knows you do. Itâs a stupidly dumb question, but you whine at it all the same. âI told you it would fit. Look at you, taking it all, no problem.â
âMhm. Feels good; so, so, so good, JakeâŚâ Your body feels limp and tingly, and you let your head fall back so your gaze is pointed up at the sky. Even as you blink dazed up at them, they have the striking appearance of Jakeâs skin, the dark blue wash of sky with littered balls of bright white light. The image of him is printed on your mind, and no matter where you look to avoid his gaze, you find him again.
Jake shifts. Keeping his dick sliding in and out of you with more of an upbeat rhythm than before, he bows his chest back over yours and brings his ears close to your ear.
âA perfect fit for my perfect girl,â he mutters. He becomes so reliant on his one hand on the boulder when he uses the other to hold your leg up around his waist, bringing forth an entirely new burn from the stretch of it. His breath is warm on your ear, making you shudder. âHow long you been waiting for me, baby?â
You scoff disbelievingly, trying to think of something to say despite your mind being both full and empty at the same time. All you can think about is the building pressure in your tummy.
âLong,â you offer, snaking a hand up his neck to the back of his head.Â
Jake licks his tongue across the arch of skin connecting your neck to your collar. âThinking of me with your fingers up your cunt at night, huh?â His hand squeezes around your middle when you begin to shift with his thrusts further up the boulder. Even with your loud cries in his ear, Jake can hear the squelching wetness around his cock, the tightening spasms around his length bringing him closer to giving in to the dull ache in his own stomach. âBet you wheelchair Jake Sully couldnât make you feel like this. Next time you get off to the thought of him, I want you to think of what weâre doing right now, about whoâs got you feeling this way.â
âHowâŚhow do you even know about that?â you gasp, half pleasured by his thrusting and half horrified by the revelation that Jake might have been privy to the fact you masturbated with him in mind when everyone went to bed at night.
Actually, he didnât know. But he sniggers smugly that his teasing jeer turned out to be true.Â
Jake presses a kiss to your collar and peppers a line of them up until he is thwarted by the mask covering your face. Peering down at your face hidden behind it, Jake gives you a sad pout and says, âI wanna go fast.â
âIâŚâ you start, his hips already moving and you feel the heat simmering below again. Anymore from him, and youâll be finished, cumming all over him. âI donât think⌠Iâll â Iâm gonnaââ
âThen letâs get it done,â he says with as much finality and refine as he can muster before he picks himself back up, finding the energy he had before to pin you down against the boulder. You keep your leg wrapped around his waist as he sets one hand down over your tummy, the other on your shoulder, and then the real fun begins for him.
Jake isnât ignorant to the twisting ache inside of him â like you, he knows he probably doesnât have that much longer until heâs completely tuckered out and ready to fill you up. What can he say? Itâs been a long time, and he doesnât have the same kind of stamina as he used to. Youâre tightening up around him in anticipation; itâs like being gripped in a vice.Â
He pulls his hips back and then pistons himself back in with so much speed that you almost fly up off the boulder in surprise. Too fast, he thinks, so he gets accustomed to a regular fast pace and sticks to it loyally. In return, heâs rewarded with a litany of pretty sounds, your hands curling around his arms, desperately trying to hold on.Â
âYeah, oh yeah,â Jake groans, feeling your cunt fluttering around him as he fucks in and out, slipping in and out of your wetness as if he owns it. The hand thatâs pressing your shoulder slips to your throat, and while he doesnât squeeze, you claw your fingers around his and feel his grip tighten ever so slightly.Â
âFuck!â you squeal, clamping your eyes closed suddenly. âShitâJake, babyââ
He moans at that, really moans. A ringing rises in volume in his ears as his thrusts grow more rapid, relentlessly smacking his hips up until he slides all of his dick inside of you.Â
God, youâre fucking perfect â he canât name many women, if any at all, who could take a dick this size with as much ease as you are now. But the increasing pressure in your tummy is so overwhelming that youâre not even too aware of the size of whatâs getting comfortable inside of you. All you know and understand is that in the next three seconds, youâll be seeing white.
Jakeâs name falls like a mantra from your lips, and he looks at you in surprise to see that youâve very bravely opened your eyes to stare at him, although the tears lining your waterline and smeared down your cheeks make your stare look ten times more attractive to him. He almost wishes he hadnât looked â his hips stagger slightly and he growls, the noise earning him another whiney moan from the undone woman beneath him, the woman heâs committed to filling with his cum and making his.
âIâ!â You say nothing â you donât even have to. Jake feels your cunt strangling his length like a goddamn fist, and by the buffering look of pure ecstasy on your face, heâs fairly certain all of those things mean youâre about to cum.
âYeah, mama, cum for me,â Jake coaxes. âLemme feel you.â
The warmth around him clenches, and all of a sudden, your body seizes with a jolt, your back arched so high off the boulder that it leaves him hitting entirely new angles inside of you, pushing your orgasm to a new level.Â
For you, it feels like youâve been blown up. Your entire body is consumed by a blazing heat, your legs going immediately limp as you cum around him. Jakeâs eyes instantly shift to your quivering hips, to your cunt still swallowing him up, the white dribbles of cum leaking down the length of his cock. He watches the small cluster of glowing freckles decorating his dick disappear behind a rolling drop of your cum and his jaw goes slack.
âMy girl,â he crows, his head bowing as he eagerly fucks into you a few more times, muttering the same thing as he does: âOh, my girl, my pretty girlââ
The hand around your throat rips itself away only to squeeze into your hips, as though Jake intends to leave fingerprints there once heâs done. He grips you tightly and with a monumental and low, throaty moan, he snaps his hips one final time and feels a tug in his tummy.
You probably feel him cum before he does. Jake seems caught up in his thrusts while you register the unmissable burst of warmth inside of you, ropes of cum spilling out as if his sole intention were to breed you, stuff you full of his seed.Â
In actual fact, Jake just wanted to fuck you silly, fill you with boat loads of cum, and bask in the evil satisfaction of watching Norm smell Jake all over you, claiming you as his.Â
âMmâfuck, Jake!â you rasp, squeezing your little hands around his wrists. The feeling is enough to bring him up to the surface he was drowning under, the ringing in his ears dulling as he catches his breath and opens his eyes, staring down at the embarrassingly wet mixture of cum and juice between your legs.Â
He stays inside of you for a moment, his dick still hard and even more pronounced up your cunt than it was before, and itâs as if his eyes are unfocused in absolute awe as he observes the sight of you stretched open, locking him in place greedily.Â
It sinks in that you managed to fit all of him in, that he just used his avatar to fuck you in the forest behind the lab. You. Normâs sister. The object of his desire. The woman of his literal dreams.
Jake lets out a loud and heavy breath, a sigh of relief, and rubs his palms up and down your stomach gently. Despite having had him fucking you just seconds before, you feel a heat flush over your face when he looks up at your face, sweaty and tear-stained under the exo-pack, and he grins wolfishly.
âYouâre incredible,â he laughs, which makes the act of looking at him feel ten times more rewarding. Your body warms with the praise: all youâve wanted was for Jake to like you back, and now, to be full of his cum and knowing he thinks youâre incredible⌠You laugh with him.Â
A few disbelieving laughs later, and Jake finally moves his hands under your thighs and slowly pulls himself out of you. The bump of each ridge along his length knocks past you, and Jake stifles a howl of laughter at the whiney, high-pitched moan you make as his cock pulls out of you with a slick, wet pop. He cranes his head slightly to watch his cum pool out of you and you pick yourself up on your forearms, looking for his dick between his legs to have a final peek, a good look at him covered in your cum and hisâŚ
Your eyes widen. âYour cum glows.â
Jake raises his eyebrows. âWhat? Scientist of Pandora didnât know Naâvi cum glowed?â
âI havenât exactly had a selection of Naâvi men or women to tell me that it did!â you reason, your eyes still marvelling curiously at the shiny soft blue stain over the hanging fruit between his legs.Â
He hums, poking a finger against your folds and smirking when you flinch. âHm. Put that in your research notes. Wanna take samples?â
âFuck off,â you laugh, keeping your legs wide as you struggle to sit upright. The discomfort between your legs is suddenly making itself known, and already the cum around your pussy and thighs is drying, sticky and thick. âJesus, Sully. Look at me.â
âI know,â grins Jake, his eyes soaking up the image of you. âYouâre fucking sexy.â
You roll your eyes with a twisting smile. While Jake seems incredibly fascinated with the marks he has either left accidentally or on purpose over your body, you groan and roll your shoulders. Frankly, you wish Jake had just thrown you down on the grass and fucked you there â in hindsight, the boulder had been a bad idea and you know it will come to haunt you in the morning.
Lazily, and yet with a rush of shame and exhilaration, you glance back at the lab, sitting in the curve of moonlight and caged by bioluminescent flowers and shrubs, each glowing vibrant spectrums of cyan and purple and lime.Â
âYouâre the luckiest woman alive if nobody heard you yapping,â Jake says playfully, rising upright to stretch the agonised muscles of his legs. âYouâre so noisy, honey.â
âI apologise for not thinking too much about the volume of my voice,â you drawl sarcastically, your eyes still glued to the glazed thick glass windows looking into the back of the lab. Anxiously, you glance at him, âWas I that loud?â
He gives you a tight, sympathetic smile. You frown.
âYou werenât quiet yourself, you know,â you grumble, feeling the pinch in your back ease slightly.
âYep.â And he seems smug about that fact, for reasons beyond you, although you wager a guess as to why he seems proud all of a sudden.
As you shuffle awkwardly off the boulder, you wince as you lean for your shorts and panties, dropping a little look at the sliding dollop of cum slipping out of you.Â
âYou gotta keep it in there,â Jake says.Â
âJake, as soon as I stand up and walk around, itâs all gonna come pouring out anyway.â
His lip curls with disappointment as he watches his cum drip out of you onto the edge of the boulder, splatting on the wisps of grass around your ankles. Itâs a good thing heâs full of copious reserves of cum to give back to you another time.
âCanât wait for Norm to get a whiff of me,â Jake tells you, and you fight the urge to sigh and roll your eyes, because of course â of course that had been a motive for the gallon of glowing blue sperm Jake just squoze into you. âThe look on his face when he figures out Iâve been breedinâ his little sisterââ
âI have never been more thankful of the fact that Naâvi and humans canât reproduce together. Hand on my heart, I mean that.â
You slide your shorts and panties back up your legs and reach for your thrown tank top. The inconspicuous smudges of green from the boulder across the back of it fill you with a puny drop of dread â youâll just pray really hard to both God and Eywa that nobody pays it any mind.Â
That and the bulbous bruise on your tit, the bite on your leg, the finger indents on your hips.
âI was doing that thing you were doing. Killing two birds with one stone,â Jake says as he searches the ground for his tewng. âFucking you âcause I wanted to and fucking you because I know wanting you is gonna piss off your annoying big brother.â
You had said that, hadnât you? And even though the entire scheme of Jake wanting to scorn your brother so badly that he has to use you as a human fuck-toy seems ludicrous, you canât deny the very minuscule jolt of thrill it gives you. It would be fun to piss Norm off a little bit. He has been a total arse lately.
âNormâs all you think about,â you tease. âYou sure you donât like him instead?â
âShut up.â
Jake hands you your cardigan with an amused smile, his tail whipping to and fro happily.Â
âYour coat, maâam.â
âLove how you only have one thing to slip back into,â you point out as you take the cardigan from him, and he reaches for the tewng and chuckles. âYou couldâve just lifted it up.â
âCouldâve, wouldâve, didnât,â he replies.
Thereâs an uncharacteristic silence between you both as you climb back into your clothes, and while Jake fiddles with his tewng with his tongue between his lips, you look back at the lab and sigh.Â
Somewhere in that lab is the man youâve been thinking of for two months â Jake in his human form, lying in a link unit as he takes control through another body. You wonder what he might think when he wakes up: will he come searching for you in the dark? Come kiss you, tell you how he feels?
Jake creeps up to you with an alarming light foot, and the feeling of his hand on top of your head makes you look up suddenly.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?â he asks.Â
âYou,â you sigh, looking back at the lab. âAre you going to follow through with tonight when youâre back as yourself, or is this an avatar Jake exclusive?â
âCome on. You still want that loser in there?â Jake feels his heart tug â he doesnât know if to feel offended that youâre still thinking of someone else, or flattered because that someone else is technically him, the real him, the version of him that Jake hates the most.
âYouâre so mean to him,â you grumble. Then pause, and add, âTo you. Thatâs literally still you in there. If anything, doesnât that make me look a little bit obsessed?â Jake gently pushes your head as you fall into a slow walk in the direction of the remote lab. âWow. Actually, I just realised thatâs true.â
âFinding out that you liked me was the only reason I started spending more than five minutes at a time in the lab,â Jake tells you.Â
âWho told you?â
You both accept a short silence as you stride past the wall that most of the bunks are built against, and you feel an anxious knot forming in your stomach when the clearing at the front of the lab expands into view.Â
âI meant it when I said you were horrible at hiding your crush on me,â Jake reminds you.Â
Right.Â
The tsawksyul Jake found you is thankfully still where you left it, and you slip out of Jakeâs touch to fetch it from under the window, but when you turn to him, his eyes are pulled back across the miles of suspended mountains.
âYou have somewhere else to be?â you call.
His top lip curls into a half pout as he says, âNot now. But tomorrow Iâve got to do some hunting. If I make a clean kill, I start my iknimaya.â
âImpressive,â you comment, twirling the tsawksyul between your fingers. âYou⌠Will you be gone long?â
Jake hesitates for a moment. Is he reading into it, or are you looking a little bit more crestfallen now you know heâll be gone for a little while longer?
âWhy, you wanna go again?â he asks with a laugh.
âRespectfully, I think my vagina is broken and I need to lie down,â you quip, making him laugh even more. âI was justâŚcurious. If youâre gone too long, Iâll be asleep before you get back.â
Jake creeps towards you and drops to a painful crouch. Heâs definitely going to feel the cry and protest in his legs in the morning from being haunched for so long. Still, he frames your face with his hands and takes a long look at your face.
âIâll roll past your bed extra quietly,â he promises.Â
You snort and push yourself away from him. âSafe travels, big guy. Iâll see you in the morning?â
Peering up at him, you breathe in the sight of him one last time as he nods once and rises to stand. The long shadow drawn by his lithe figure falls over you.
âAffirmative,â he states. You look up at him for a second and smile. Did it take having his cock in your stomach for you to realise how pretty he is like this, or have you known all along?
âGo,â you tell him, nodding towards the edge of the cliff before turning to the door. Over your shoulder, Jake scoffs a laugh and turns on his heels, his eyes scanning the mountain range as he approaches the edge.Â
The bravery you had before died long ago and you quickly twist the air-lock to the door and force it open, your heart in your throat. You donât look back at him, even when he looks back at you with an endearing smile on his face.
The lab is deathly silent when you slide back inside. You were half expecting someone to stir at the sound of the door sealing shut, but if anyoneâs awake, they make no effort to show it. Tip-toeing to the small bathroom, you very hurriedly go about your business and wipe away the eternal flood of cum from between your legs. With the amount Jake just put inside you, youâre fairly confident that even a human with an average sense of smell could sniff him all over you.
The long stalk back to your bunk is made silently and carefully. Norm is fast asleep on the top bunk he unhappily shares with Jake, the aforementionedâs bunk empty and cold, the link unit whirring quietly. Just the sight and sound of it makes you unnaturally nervous, and you turn to speed towards your bottom bunk and peer at Trudy. Sheâs out like a light.Â
The thin blanket is pulled to your chin once you settle in the sheets, and you refuse to accept that itâs cowardice you feel when the sound of the link unit slowly begins to fade and Jake hauls himself out with a pained groan. You remain very still as he fumbles for his chair, though you fight the urge to get up, help him and while youâre at it, kiss him until he canât breathe.
You hope your acting has improved since your terrible attempts of hiding your crush and try to make it look as though youâre asleep, but the distinct sound of rolling wheels makes its way towards where you sleep; you steady your breaths so it looks like youâre out of it, and perhaps Jake will fall for it this time.Â
Your stomach tightens when the wheels stop next to your bed, and youâre uncomfortably aware of the set of eyes staring at you curled up and facing the wall.
Jakeâs hand brushes the back of your head gently, and youâre not sure if that means youâve been caught, but then you feel Jakeâs fingers brush a section of hair away from your neck and nearly sigh at the feeling of his mouth pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck. It is so sweet, so fond and gentle, and annoyingly quick. He pulls away and the sound of wheels roll towards his own bunk.
Every sound he makes feels like itâs right in your ear.Â
You almost wish youâd rolled over and took his face into your hands. But Jakeâs smooch against your nape feels like a stolen secret, something shared between only you two, something special.Â
No matter, you think as you wriggle to get comfortable. Heâll be there in the morning. And itâll be the man youâve wanted the entire time who wants you back who receives all your stirring desires.
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