#I even have songs I like to listen to when I think of her OTL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegoldenavenger · 2 years

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[part 1 here]

Welcome to the Taylor Swiftening Part 2! Where I am listening to Taylor’s albums in release order because 1. i think it’ll be funny and 2. i want to know what my friends mean when they say like, idk “this album makes me insane but i wont turn it off”

Last time I listened to Tim McGraw, Picture to Burn, and Teardrops on my Guitar. This time we’re starting off with A Place in this World, which also marks the start of songs i’m pretty sure i haven’t heard before!

I don’t know what to say I wasn’t expecting this opening!

It’s really interesting to hear a Taylor song not about a boy! wow! i hope there’s more. i don’t mind love songs or breakup songs, they’re great, but i really want to hear how taylor writes about other things too!

ooh love to have the weather imagery coming in! It’s actually raining right now so what a bonus. I love rain, i love rainy songs. she’s using it as a metaphor for that semi-transitional, liminal time as a kid where’s she’s able to do things by herself but hasn’t experienced much yet so she can’t tell what’s coming. also, i suppose there could be a connotation besides the actual reduced-vision rain brings by having a cinematic association with sadness?

I think in this song the rain isn’t leaning as hard on the sadness trope as it is making a journey less pleasant, since she doesn’t expand on it (rain = sadness). well, i mean the symbolism and the lyrics are a little bit lonely. rain forces isolation sometimes, even if you brave the weather, so i suppose the cinematic association isn’t too far off.

I really like this chorus, it’s simple, but listening to this now I am probably not getting the intended effect as i would have when i was like, still school aged, haha. I do love the “I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong, oh but life goes on” that’s really nice to include. I love the message acknowledging the mistakes everyone will make growing up and that it’s okay! especially relevant to younger folks where every mistake and social misstep feels like the end of the world.

Return of the very classic country cues with the blue jeans! Love that. I miss jeans so much... anyways

oh i like the cycle of weather! The rain has cleared up now that she has some of her comforts with her (radio and jeans, which. relatable) she has decided that being open is a good thing and the sun has come out from the clouds! i was going to go on a tangent about how jeans are really comfortable and a symbol of blah blah blah but i decided it wouldn’t be relevant but she’s honestly using the jeans and music as her comfort items. like, yeah, if the last thing we know about her is her little black dress and her old faded blue jeans from Tim McGraw, then now she’s underlining that the blue jeans are like, stability or something.

the last three songs are about breakups and unrequited love, but the jeans survive! whatever partner you have might leave you but those jeans have spent years breaking in and are ready to support you on your journey!!! i miss jeans!!! why are they so expensive now!!!!!

This last part is chorus repetition except for

“i’m just a girl on a mission” is a wild way to phrase this... what’s the mission, i thought we were on a random road to a mystery tomorrow, not targeting a specific thing? i also don’t automatically associate mission and fly as, like, mutually exclusive. in fact, my first association with missions is flying (planes to a location, or parachuting spy-style into, like, a heist IDK), but i guess having a mission is very structured as opposed to the freedom that flying usually symbolizes, which is obviously the symbolism she’s pulling from with the uh.. long.. vocalization on the word

idk anything about music guys OTL this is where i apologize for calling things the wrong name and stuff as i listen through this.

This was a cute song. I can definitely see why it wasn’t a radio-hit like the first three, it’s a little more niche and less broadly appealing? I guess. I don’t know something something about repeating “im just a girl” four hundred times (it’s only 7 times) makes me think of that tumblr think piece that’s like “naming yourself [adjective]-man is the most trans thing a person can do”. i’m not sure if that means anything to anybody but me, but it feels like there’s an essay about gender performance in this song... even though there’s not barely any type of typically feminine-gender roles displayed here?

i really think the “i’m just a girl on a mission”, and my brain turning that to “james bond????” in the middle fried my analysis brain.

This next song is Cold as You. Glad that we seem to be carrying on the autumn/winter rainy, cold season metaphors!! I don’t think i’ve heard a Taylor song that could be described as, like, a cozy autumn song but I think one would be nice!

okay the intro sounded super familiar to me but I just looked up Big and Rich’s Holy Water and I think it’s just because of the violin sounds. Just re listened to Whiskey Lullaby’s intro as well and that doesn’t sound the same, but has similar vibes. is this a sad song?? like a really sad song? i know Teardrops on my Guitar was a more melancholy song but is this a tearjerker? I ask, excitedly.

oh i love this slower tempo for taylor’s voice! i mean, i like these types of songs a lot as opposed to boppier music so that’s probably because i’m biased. this first lyric, “you have a way of coming easily to me” reminds me of the lines “he’s the time taken up, but there’s never enough” and “strike a match on all my wasted time”

it’s not an exact (or even close) thematic match, but the vibes of those lyrics strike me as similar for some reason especially followed by the “you take the very best of me”

adjklsjf i misheard this as “i start a fire cause I need to feel something” and i was going “oh! oh! like picture to burn!” but it’s “fight”...

aww the last song did end on a sunny day and now it’s rainy. that’s a neat way to tie the song order together!

i’ll be transparent here, i do not know what this means. the first line “just walk away, ain’t no use defending words that you will never say”

i mean, trying to puzzle through it from start to finish “just walk away” is used to deescalate fights, right. don’t say things you don’t mean, don’t say anything that could be used against you, just walk away. but then the “ain’t no use defending words that you will never say”... “words that you will never say” in the context of this song makes me think of like, saying i love you or saying i’m sorry depending on what the fight is about.

if it was something like “just walk away and dont say something you dont mean” that’s a pretty straight forward if vague lyric but here specifically what does “no use defending words you will never say“ mean???

my first instinct is to interpret it as Taylor (or the narrator, i guess, assume i’m using Taylor as a stand in for narrator or song POV from now on) telling the other person to leave, as whatever things they would say, it wouldn’t be the right things to hear and Taylor is done retroactively trying to rationalize those words as being what she does want to hear.

i’m not sure i’m explaining it correctly, because it’s a very complicated concept to boil down into one line.... which is why im so reluctant to go with that interpretation.

i like the inflection she used here. but this kind of reinforces my first thought of the previous lines... referring to someone as cold is usually meant to imply that person is aloof, closed off, not as warm or as expressive of emotions in general. so i think i may be right in thinking this “you” doesn’t express enough verbally in this relationship. whether it’s specifically “i love you” or just doesn’t communicate in general, Taylor starts these fights to try and provoke some kind of reaction, but doesn’t get the desired effect (confessions of love, or opening up about whatever topic) and maybe Taylor used to rationalize this as being shy, or scared, but after enough times she can’t anymore and they can’t defend their position of not opening up.

that’s a lot for like, three lines.

wow, so this is further support. putting up walls is a metaphor for being closed-off, painting them gray is reinforcement of the previous (and to come i’m sure) chorus of “a rainy end to a perfect day”. so yeah, this is about a failure in communication, or at least... a misalignment of needs in a relationship.

“you come away with a great little story/of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you” is a buck-wild line. it turns the song from something lamenting this fissure of communication to a classic break-up/catharsis song.

also, it’s kind of awkward? it goes straight into the chorus so that “nerve to adore you” doesn’t have a resolution the way “shade of gray/ all away” does... i guess it serves to make the change very noticeable.

hrm, “you never did give a damn thing” is probably supposed to be more evidence of the uh imbalance in the relationship? the second line in the song, after all, is “when you take, you take the very best of me” so it’s saying that Taylor is the one giving, giving, giving in a very unequal relationship.

and then straight into, a BUCK WILD “you wouldn’t have told nobody if i died, died, for you, died for you” oh my GOSH that is so intense. like what is going on with that relationship that that is even on the table????

i do like that she didn’t repeat the chorus verbatim three times until the outro... the change up is nice in that it’s reinforcing her previous points, that she’s finished justifying things and presumably seeing the relationship as lopsided and acknowledging the hurt it’s given her i just.. hrm.

i like the song as a departure from the boppy tempos from before. idk, again i don’t know anything about taylor, if this is a fictional song or if she’s singing about an actual relationship, but i’ve definitely been on the other side of this where i’ve been called cold and walled off and uncommunicative, etc, when I know i was trying my best to reach out and engage in the relationship (friendship though, not romantic so maybe different expectations?) so i’m coming at this song from an extremely weird position that i know isn’t that common of one.

I like the song, and love the imagery of “never been anywhere cold as you”. i’m actually surprised i haven’t heard it before, it sounds like one of those perfect teenage angsty songs you’d use in, like, AMVs or something! but it’s not one i’ll probably listen to a lot just for, like, my mental health lol (im literally probably going to draw a lyricstuck to it hahaha)

This next song is The Outside.

It’s nice and upbeat so far...

I’ve noticed that these have all been first-person POV which is why I’ve just been using Taylor as shorthand for narrator so far. I guess that’s because I’ve heard she sings about her exes and stuff, so I just assume this is Taylor-as-POV for all the songs whether or not that’s correct..

so far this is pretty similar to A Place in this World as a song about a personal journey. That’s interesting, it’s neat to see two kind of coming-of-age songs?

oh i know this one! road less traveled by is a Robert Frost reference.

it’s an interesting metaphor considering... is it her career that is the road less traveled by? because that’s a wild claim, though i mean it fits with A Place In This World as well with the lines “don’t know what’s down this road, I’m just walking”. That road could definitely be the road less traveled as it’s hard to see while walking on it, and as a metaphor for a career i mean i guess she couldve gone to college and gotten a degree and started working retail like the rest of us but she definitely didn’t do that so it makes a kind of sense.

and if she felt type-casted or something by her music or the way those around her perceived her i can see her feeling like she’s stumbling away from being unique and poetic

hm okay so... either the road less traveled by took her so far away from where she wanted to be that now she is... on.. the outside or the chorus just went in a completely different direction.

i’m having trouble relating to these lyrics because, like, DUDE. being on the outside is just. standard.

i really do like the wording of “i’ve been a lot of lonely places/i’ve never been on the outside” though. like, yeah, it’s lonely, and it’s a different kind of experience.

who is the you who is she looking at? is it a good thing or a bad thing. did she take the road less traveled by to NOT see the you, or did she want to get closer.

oh this isn’t like A Place in this World, I see now.

i, is? is she still talking about her career? is this an unrequited love song? i don’t know, having a song talking about loneliness, outside-looking-in, and “no one notices until it’s too late to do anything” is very specific imagery i don’t think the song is actually going for.

there was such a strong opening, and now i’m kind of unsure and unsettled. is this a song about a career, wanting someone, or suicide? i’m not sure what to think and repeating the chorus twice over to outro isn’t helping.

Despite not being able to really parse the song, i do like the connection with the previous two songs. The beginning of this song and A Place In This World are really cohesive together. The “outside looking in” and “i would give it all up to be a part of this a part of you / and now it’s all too late” motifs are really strong coming from Cold As You, like. yeah, that probably did make her feel shut out.

also EVERYtime i hear her sing “on the outside looking in” i ONLY hear lauren lopez singing waving through a window as a vampire which is REALLY messing with my perception of this song in the most hilarious way. Cold As You and The Outside vampire POV

okay i was going to try and write up more than three songs at a time but Cold as You was a pretty dense song I’m still reeling from so I’m going to cut this here, get some breakfast, and maybe come back later and power through some more songs! i hope you’re enjoying this little excursion haha. please also take a moment to hydrate or eat if you need to! it’ll be like we’re sharing a meal together.

#long post #the swiftening #taylor swift live blog #taylor swift 2006

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strxnged · 4 years

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WHY WHY WHY

WC: ~500

WARNINGS: cheating!! but not really

Flavour: ANGST!!!!!KLK@J!KL

AN: I heard the song ... this happened... So basically, what I was thinking was the song was Daichi’s feelings, and the drabble you’re about to see was your (the reader’s) feelings.

There is a PART 2

Eventually ending up in this position, coming to this

I'm the one who messed it up

Couldn't even protect a flower like you

All the flashing sparks in our relationship

Have turned into white ashes

You hadn't even suspected anything until you saw the look in that police officer’s eyes. She was the same as you; utterly, entirely in love with Daichi Sawamura.

You trusted him not to do anything. You knew it was never his intention to make you feel jealous or uncomfortable. He didn’t have control over the actions of his co-workers. He could politely tell her she was making him uncomfortable, but she wasn’t exactly doing anything overly invasive.

This was when hiding your relationship got especially hard. He could tell her that he was seeing someone, but she was quite the gossip, and everyone would eventually be on his case about who the lucky person was. And if the two of you were discovered, both of you could lose your jobs.

When you two had decided on this, you hadn’t expected seeing Daichi every day at work without being able to show your affection would be so difficult. But you got used to it. He was a fantastic officer, so seeing him at least doing what he was passionate about was enough for you until the evening. It had to be enough; for the time being, you had no other choice.

Every day, he assured you it was so difficult to stay away from you all day. He’d always smile, and say, “I love you, you know that, right?”

Yes. You knew it. And you knew if you were in his position you would be very stressed and the added situation with the female police officer was not helping.

You saw from your desk the way she spoke to him. He shook his head at her, but she seemed to be pleading for something. A minute later, he reluctantly followed her into the hall.

This didn’t look too good.

Why couldn’t they do whatever she wanted them to do here, within your sight? Why’d they have to go into the hall? This was work — a professional setting — why was she acting like this? She could get both him and herself fired. Didn’t that matter to her?

You trusted Daichi. You kept telling yourself that, but you still took a very specific route to the photocopiers at that moment. You could just see her face around the corner.

Of course she was sweet and smiley and pretty and buxom. Why did she have to choose Daichi to bother? There were plenty of men here that would happily fall at her feet. You knew Daichi was handsome and strong and a good leader and really adorable and trustworthy.

But he was also yours.

You thought he was yours. He had told you he was yours.

So when she advanced on him, even though you knew he would push her away, you couldn’t look. Your hands shook. You didn’t want to see Daichi kissed by another woman. It was like a horror scene.

You could go back to your desk. That would be the mature thing to do, probably. He would probably come over, make sure he wasn’t about to be interrupted, and apologize profusely.

But you weren’t thinking about that now. You had to get out of here.

AN: i’m sorry this isn’t even what you requested @h-grangerstudies it just happened while i was listening to the song OTL

PART 2

EVENT PAGE

#daichi x reader #daichi x you #daichi angst #daichi #daichi sawamura #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x you #haikyuu #hq angst #hKSDLFLKD #tw cheating #but not really #tw: cheating #haikyuu!! x you #152 lyrics

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btsmutimagines · 5 years

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All Tangled Up

A/N: I tried to be cute but I’m too awkward for that... I’m sorry OTL

Request from the old inbox: can I have a Jimin fluff where you both have a Disney movie night and you choose your princess movie (mines is Tangled but you can choose which ever) and the love song comes and Jimin sings to you (like I see the light and when eugene's part plays he sings along) and it's really fluffy?(sorry if it stinks, but I figured I'd give you a non-jungkook request)

Word Count: 1.7K

please take this gif as a peace offering

You groaned to the sound of your ringtone, suddenly waking you up. Refusing to leave the warm bundle of covers you were under; you stretched your hand to grab your buzzing phone off the side table. A string of curses was grumbled as you got up to pick up your phone and answer it.

Who thought it was a good idea to call you now?!

Howdy, girlie! How are you?

Oh, it’s you.

Ouch, no ‘Hello, bestie’? You’re so grouchy.

You could tell that your friend, Hana was pouting on the other end and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t in the particular mood to hold a conversation, let alone the ones that she tends to have. Long, drawn-out and could probably be wrapped up in 10 minutes if she could stay on topic.

Hana, I’m sick.

You are? Why didn’t you tell me?

I did. You even brought me medicine!

I did? Maybe I was drunk…

Anyways, I would like to get back to sleep-

Wait, I need some serious bestie advice and you just happened to be qualified.

Can’t I get a raincheck?

I really like this guy and I think he’s different than the others and…

She roped you into her story before you could even protest. You almost fell asleep a few times, listening to the whole spiel before she called your name.

Yah, Y/N! Did you even listen to a word I said?

Yeah, you think the guy you met last is the one because he took you out to coffee after whatever happened last night, and he’s been texting you a lot? It’s literally been less than 24 hours, how are you this hung up on a dude? You barely know him.

That doesn’t stop love, Y/N.

And I’m done with this conversation.

Don’t be like that, Y/N! It’s different this time, I swear.

Okay, I’m hanging up now. Bye.

You sighed, looking at the time you had your ear pressed to your phone. 40:31. Could you really expect less? Before you could return to bed, there was a knock on your door. Is it national ‘let’s bug a sick girl’ day?

You grabbed a robe, the warm fabric hugging you as you slowly walked to the door. Turning the doorknob, you cracked the door open a bit and your eyes widen as you quickly shut the door.

Park Jimin was standing at your door, in the hallway of your apartment building and you looked like you could scare Death himself to death.

“Y/N? Could you open the door please?”

“J-Just a second.” You said, quickly rushing to the bathroom to brush your teeth and fix your bird nest of hair. You returned to the door, taking a quick breath before opening it up again.

“Hi.”

“That was longer than a second, you know.”

“I didn’t mean it literally, Jimin.”

“May I come in?”

“Oh, right.”

“I heard you were sick, and I figured I would stop by just to check up on you.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Jimin.” You could have sworn you saw him blush, but he coughed, looking away and you tried to fight the smile that wanted to peak through.

Alright, fine, you might have the tiniest, smallest, little crush on Jimin. He always did obnoxiously cute things that you couldn’t help but smile. He was clumsy, at times whiny but he was also really thoughtful, sweet and would always be a shoulder to lean on.

But a guy like Jimin isn’t one that you can keep to yourself- Not that you could do that or something.

“Are you sure you could be out of bed like this? Earth to Y/N?”

“Huh?” Jimin placed the back of his hand on your forehead, your face growing hot and he pulled away.

“Gosh, you’re burning up.” Tell me about it. You cleared your throat.

“Just lay down on the couch, I’m gonna heat up the soup Jin made.”

“Jin made me soup? I should get sick more often.”

“No! I-I mean I helped him out mostly, I really made the soup.”

“Sure, Jimin.”

“Just go lie down, please.” You did as you were told, lying down on the couch.

“Hey, Y/N, where do you keep your blankets?”

“Second door on the left.” He came back with one of your thickest blankets, covering you with it and you looked at him.

“You should take a picture, it would last longer.”

“Shut up. Where’s my soup, Jimin?”

“Oh shoot, I almost forgot.”

“Jimin, please don’t burn down my home.”

“I got this. You just lie there, all pretty and warm- I mean you could be pretty warm with that blanket, right?”

“Smooth.” He winked at you before quickly backing into the kitchen, you covered your mouth to hold in your laughter. So stupid.

You laid there, listening to Jimin opening and closing different cabinets in your kitchen. He came back with a bowl and chopsticks in each hand and you sat up.

“You like coconut curry, right?”

“My favourite soup. Maybe you did help out a little bit.”

“One day I‘ll show you.”

“Looking forward to it, Jimin.”

“Have some, it is for you, you know.” You broke the chopsticks and took a bite, instantly hit with the delectable flavours and couldn’t stop yourself from devouring the whole bowl.

“That good, huh?”

“God, Jin is a cooking prodigy.”

“Let me have a bite.”

“Nuh-uh, you can ask Jin to make some for you when you’re sick.” You said, getting your last bite but Jimin grabbed your hand and fed himself.

“You brat, that was my last bite.” You poked his cheek with your chopsticks while he began chewing.

“Tasted even better knowing that.”

“Is this how you treat the sick and vulnerable, Jimin?”

“Jin made more than one bowl.”

“Fine, you’re temporarily forgiven.”

“Temporarily?”

“I don’t deal with food lightly. Especially really good food.”

“Will you forgive me fully if we watched these together?” He handed you a plastic bag, when did he bring that in?

Your curiosity got the better of you, peering through the content and noticing there were all Disney movies. You enjoyed most of the titles, Bambi, Aladdin, Alice in wonderland but you stop when you pulled out Tangled. The Disney classic was one of your all-time favourites. It was well known amongst your friend group and it’s the only movie you would watch for the rest of your life if you had to.

“You brought these for me?”

“Yeah, I did. Am I fully forgiven?”

“I’ll tell you after the movie.” You snuggled into your blanket, watching Jimin turn on your tv and insert the disc into your DVD player.

“Can you turn off the lights too?”

“Want the whole experience too, huh?”

“It’s not too much to ask, is it?”

“The things I do for you.”

“Hush, it’s starting.” You watched the intro of the Disney castle and felt yourself getting giddy. You were easily engrossed in the movie when you felt a warm body close to yourself.

“J-Jimin.”

“I’m feeling cold, do you mind?”

“I could grab another blanket.” You suggested, about to get up but Jimin pulled you closer to him, your body half resting against his.

“No, this is fine.” You turned your attention to the movie, trying to not be so rigid against him and focus.

You quietly sang along with the songs, Jimin laughing with you at all the funny moments and your favourite scene was about to come up.

You began to sing along with Rapunzel, watching the lanterns floating around them.

All those days watching from the windows

All those years outside looking in

All that time never even knowing

Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here blinking in the starlight

Now I'm here suddenly I see

Standing here it's all so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you

You heard Jimin clearing his throat before singing along to Flynn, you looked at him in surprise.

All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go

He met your eyes, the two of you continue to sing along.

And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog is lifted, Jimin sang

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new, you vocalized before you both sang together once again.

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything is different

Now that I see you

“I didn’t know you could sing like that.”

“A hidden talent of mine. Your voice is pretty good too.”

“Why, thank you.” You said, turning your attention back to the movie and hearing Jimin let out a sigh. The movie went on, you only got up to stretch when the credits began to roll.

“I guess you’re forgiven, Jimin.”

“Y/N.”

“Oh, okay, why do you sound so serious all of a sudden?”

“Because,” he got up to stand in front of you, all you could muster a look of bewilderment as he took a deep breath before continuing.

“I want you to believe me when I say I like you…”

“You w-what?”

“I like you, okay? Don’t make me repeat it.” Uh, you just did- Wait, that’s not the point, Park Jimin just goddamn confessed to you.

“I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I can’t keep-”

“Could you stop trying to be cool for two seconds, so I could tell you I like you too?”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m not repeating myself, Jimin.”

“It’s okay I recorded it!” The two of you looked over to see Hana standing behind the couch and she waved.

“How the hell did you get there? Why the hell are you in my house and why did you record that?”

“It’s for my memories, Y/N confessing to Jimin after pining him for months-”

“You have?” Jimin asked, you avoiding his eyes and glaring at Hana. She’s going to get it when you aren’t sick, just she waits.

“Kim Hana, you’re so dead.”

#bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin smut #jimin #jimin fluff #jimin angst #bts jimin #bts jimin fluff #bts jimin angst #bts jimin fanfic #bts jimin x you #bts jimin x reader #bts x y/n #jimin x you #bts fanfic

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derekstile · 4 years

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Tag game

Answer the questions and tag 11 people you want to know better!

I was tagged by @call-me-ala - thank youuuu! 🙌

1. What do you prefer to be called namewise?

Horo (or my irl name / variations of it if we’re friends)

2. When is your birthday?

April 20th.

3. Where do you live? (You can just give the country’s or state name if you’re not comfortable with sharing the city name)

Argentina.

4. Three things you are doing right now?

1. Thinking about things I’d like to be doing now..

2. Crying about all the things I have to do today.. OTL

3. Deciding which drawings to post.

5. Four fandoms that have your peak interest right now?

Haikyuu and 19 days.

6. How has this pandemic been treating you?

Thankfully, it’s been kind to my family and me in comparison to other people. But it’s been stressing, since I’m working more than before, I’m sleeping less, and am tired all the time..

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Mmm a few songs by WOS. (like “Púrpura”, and “Melón vino”)

8. Recommend a movie

I don’t know about movies..

9. How old are you?

Too old.

10. School, university, occupation or other?

I’m a teacher.

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

Warm weather.

12. Name one fact about you that others might find unusual

I have no idea.. umm.. I’ve worked as a photographer…? Until both my cameras died..

13. Are you shy?

Yes.. I have so many complexes.. ooof

14. Do you have preferred pronouns?

“she/her”, but I don’t mind if you use others.

15. Biggest pet peeves?

-this is a really stupid one- But atm it annoys me when people copy the Argentinian way of speaking… as in youtube videos/soc med AUs, people from other countries copy some expressions without even knowing what they mean.. TIPO ALTOS COPIONES WACHO!

16. What is your favourite “-dere” type?

I had to look up the definitions and they were so many deres! All the descriptions made it look like these are all one-dimensional characters tho, and I hate them all.

17. Rate your life 1-10. 1 being crappy, 10 being amazing.

Idk… today it’s a 7? I’m trying to be optimistic here.

18. What is you main blog?

This one

19. List your side blogs and what they are used for.

20. One thing you think people should know about you before they become your friends?

That I’m super lazy and I never finish my projects..

Tags!

@urs-bi-polar @ee-ra, and whoever wants to do it!

#tag game #personal

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heymeowmao · 5 years

Video

youtube

[FULL] 10 _ OUR SONGS (The last team in the rankings (5th) will be leaving the show :’()

+ DDR and Cart Racing. Too cute. Shen Shen.

10:56 - MC: Qi-ge, you’re such a cool guy, and you love racing. Why did you let Yuning race, instead of doing it yourself? RXQ: I know YN’s skills. Another thing is that everyone knows that I love racing. For me to win, is obvious. Losing would lose me too much face. So, I thought it would be better to let YN do it. LYN: Qi-ge saw that I really wanted to play, so he let me do it. MC: Let me tell you, through the whole course, the fastest in speed was actually XZ. But the trophy goes to LYN.

Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao - 阴天 (Yin Tian)

22:40 - MC: I think we can all completely understand how FYQ lost at DDR, being his first time playing. What happened to you while racing? A: There were really very skilled people there. HJ-dage is too awesome. ZhanZhan- skilled. Yuning. They drove so well that I couldn’t even see them, and I was driving fast enough. MC: I notice there’s one person you haven’t mentioned- Zhou Shen. A: ShenShen and I were side by side. He was behind me. ZS: He speaks too highly of me. I was on a different playing field completely. ZHJ: Can I say this? A: Say? ZS: ?? ZHJ: Zhou Shen drove in the opposite direction.

[ShenShen trying to learn the route from Yuning] 24:10 - LYN: There’s only one way. ZS: There’s only one? LYN: Just don’t go on the grass and you’ll be fine. There’s only one way. ZS: Everyone, please be careful! If you see me on the road, please make way!! – A: Sometimes you can see a person-less cart roaming around. ZS: That is to say, all you could see of me was the helmet. HL: Don’t go driving out on the street like that. ZS: I won’t. I won’t even drive a car.

Fei Yuqing x Ayanga - 卷珠帘 (Juan Zu Lian) x 凤凰于飞 (Feng Huang Yu Fei)

26:51 - RXQ: Wow, they have a qin?! 26:59 - ZS: We don’t have anything. HL: We have dry ice!

34:28 - MC: The first two groups were already so amazing. The third group- to sing after these two amazing seniors… (how do you feel?) XZ: I’m just very nervous. Because the first two groups were too good x3 MC: You have to know. Na-jie told me she was definitely coming back. XZ: /mental breakdown/ XZ: OK! She will. She will.

Angela Chang x Xiao Zhan - 呐喊 (Na Han | Shout)

35:46 - MC: I wonder if the other teams feel like this is unfair. Other Teams: ?? Zhan: ! MC: Because it feels like there are three people on Na-Zhan Team (instead of two). There’s someone behind the scenes always giving them input! ZHJ: Yes, yes, yes. How about we cut them by 50 points? MC: First cut 50 points off? XD XZ: !! 🙏 (have mercy)

37:14 - XZ: People’s impression of me, they always say I’m 文质彬彬 (elegant and simple, elegant and polite). I sing very lyrical songs. But really I.. I do have a different heart. So I’m very thankful that Angela-laoshi is here, and is willing to help me perform different things. I’m pretty happy. A: /looks at Zhan Zhan/ XZ: /looks back/ Really! A: Thank you.

42:14 - MC: Are you feeling satisfied? A: I’m feeling pretty smug. XZ: Yeah. MC: XZ. This is the first time I’ve seen your veins bursting out. XZ: LOL MC: This song is actually quite difficult. XZ: Yes. To me, there was some difficulty. MC: Then why did you decide to take on this challenge? XZ: Because I really like this song. When I… was still in my youth… /Angela elbows him/ I remember this song was about a small girl who was shouting out the things in her heart, wanting to grow up. She wanted to be accepted by the world and didn’t want to be pushed down by insignificant things. When I heard the new arrangement, I thought “Wow”. This girl has already grown up and she has her own views of the world now. She made her own breakthrough. This song is meaningful not only to Angela-laoshi, but also to me. I really want to breakthrough and shout out what’s in my heart.

43:14 - MC: Throughout this whole program I’ve found that two people always sing along. One is Yuning, the other is Zhou Shen. LYN: I’m shocked. The reason I was singing along was actually because I was warming up- it’s my turn soon. A/XZ: LOL MC: ZS, you’re not also warming up, are you? ZS: Uh…this is. Uh. That is- when I was- Also… XZ: In your youth! ZS: In my youth I would also regularly listen to this song. So I was brought back to that time.

44:08 - MC: Qi-ge, you’re very calm. RXQ: I’m here to savor in the musical feast! I was shocked because XZ looks like he’s very 斯文秀气 (handsome and delicate) but when he was singing “Shout” his explosive force- I thought I was seeing a solitary prince going to rescue his princess. In this distant kingdom, song coming from all sides, he bravely pulled his sword and went forth. I saw this sort of image. XZ: Thank you Qi-ge. Thank you.

Ren Xianqi x Liu Yuning - 天涯 (Tian Ya | Horizon)

53:13 - MC: This is Qi-ge’s “TianYa”, right? I’d like to take the opportunity to let everyone know of the background behind this song. The composer of this song is a well known Japanese singer-songwriter Miyuki Nakajima. RXQ: Yes. MC: When I was looking up this information I found out that this song she made especially for you. RXQ: Yes, she wrote it for me. I had done a cover of 伤心太平洋 (Shang Xin Tai Ping Yang) before. I made an MV, and I sent it to her. She really liked it and ended up sending me a song. That song was 天涯. Hacken Lee x Zhou Shen - 天下有情人 (Tian Xia You Qing Ren) [1:01:22 - XZ’s reaction to the song. Same. OMG. Zhou Shen’s an angel.]

1:05:30 - ZHJ: First off, I’d really like to thank the two of you, from the bottom of my heart. No matter what product, what song, it needs a good singer to give it life. I had always thought that the collaboration between me and Qi Yu would be invincible. I really want to thank you for giving this song new life. Thank you, thank you. ZHJ: I also want to sincerely tell everyone… please don’t forget about us. We are- JYQ: Number 1. Yin Tian.

1:04:43 - RXQ: I always thought in my heart that Zhou Shen was like Peter Pan. LKQ: You mean his physical stature is like Peter Pan? ZS: OTL RXQ: His music has a pure (newborn) quality. His voice has the power to uplift you. Their voices together- still gives me same thought- a match made in heaven. Amazing.

–

1:07:17 - MC: After today’s performance, Angela will be leaving us. Do you feel unwilling? These performances really are very wonderful. A: Of course. I really want to thank everyone on stage with me today. I think- with my collaboration this time, singing together with Xiao Zhan- I really feel that he is a very polite chi-child… Also meeting these seniors, and getting to know them more in-depth, I understand that these are very exemplary models. Not matter whether it is about professionalism on stage, or even off-stage, every one is very kind. This could be my last time playing with everyone this week. Thank you all.

+ Special Collab Stage: Fei Yuqing x Zhou Huajian + LMAO. Peanut oil CF

1:16:52 - XZ: /receives the envelope/ Thank you. /turns around and hands it to Angela/ Here. A: Hehe. You’re so cute. XZ: I’m a little nervous. A: Do you want me to open it? XZ: Ahh, I don’t want to see it. A: Oh. I saw some words. A: … XZ: Tell me. Does it say we’re out. No way… A: OH. XZ: AH?? A: … XZ: What sort of reaction is that? /can’t stand it anymore and looks/ A: I’m gonna say it! My Dearest Na–Zhan Team… Congratulations on ranking third place. We look forward to your next performance!

1 - Fei Yuqing x Ayanga 2 - Hacken Lee x Zhou Shen (lol @ Hacken’s “YAYYYYYY”) 3 - Na Ying | Angela x Xiao Zhan 4 - Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao 5 - Ren Xianqi x Liu Yuning ( OH NOOOO :’( )

1:26:16 - ZHJ: It really looks like they’re stepping on cockroaches. XZ: LOL

#我們的歌 #OH NO #LIU YUNING MY SON #our song #meowmao works

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dazais-guardian-angel · 5 years

Note

PH/VC: 3, 8, 16, 20!

3. Who is your favorite character from both the ph and vnc universe?

PH, Gilbert, the beautiful boy. I feel weird for saying that, considering that the ones I always seem to talk about are Break and others instead alkfklglkfdkld...... but I want to say he still edges out everyone else for #1. He’s just a good, sweet, dorky and loyal baby... and goddamn it at the end of everything he was the only one still alive OTL

And Noe without a doubt. Again, sweet, dorky, pure cinnamon roll... but also not afraid to kick some ass when he needs to, just like Gilbert.

8. What is your favorite Pandora Hearts OST?

Will. There are other songs on the soundtrack I like a bit better, aesthetically... but Will is the true encapsulation of Pandora Hearts for me. No other song in existence sums up all the feelings this series gives than this song; I tear up almost every time I listen to it and think about the manga. Maybe it’s because the goddamn final chapter is called that, which Yuki Kajiura couldn’t have known at the time... but wow. Honorable mentions are Parting Song, Confidence, and Reminisce.

16. Do you hold any controversial ph or vnc opinions?

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Strap in folks; I’m about to spill the hottest and most painful tea that’s been burning me alive since March 2014, that I will take any and all opportunity to spill with bitter, salty pleasure.

Break’s death was terribly handled near the end of Pandora Hearts. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t upset at the fact that he simply died, no; of course none of us wanted it to happen, but we were expecting it for a long time coming; it was the terrible dread looming at the back of our minds for literally years. But do you know what I hate more than literally anything? Characters whose entire arcs are about them having no desire to live, and them eventually finally gaining that newfound appreciation and desire for life, only to be killed right when they’ve finally acknowledged their happiness at being alive. And that’s exactly what’s done to Break. The end of the chapter tries to play it off as peaceful and bittersweet, but NO; Break DID NOT WANT TO DIE. In his last moments he was crying to not die. That’s not nice and good writing; that’s extremely upsetting! This is a common thing that happens again and again in media: traumatized and depressed characters, even if they heal somewhat, are not allowed a happy ending by the end. And to make matters worse, after his death, Break is literally FORGOTTEN for the entire rest of the series, because so much other shit is going down and other characters are dying left and right, and he becomes just a body drug around and is never acknowledged again. Oscar, and freaking Echo, got more beautiful deaths/better sendoffs than Break, a MAIN CHARACTER (and look I love Oscar to death, and Echo, hell OzEcho is one of my ships tbh, and I have absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar’s part, but seriously you’re telling me Oz gets to cry over Echo, but not Break???). Even Elliot got a chapter where they mourned him, although there still needed to be more. But Break’s treatment, where Sharon and Reim are the only ones who ever get to acknowledge that he even died? It’s a spit in his face, in his arc, and I fucking hate it SO much. It’s such lazy, rushed writing, like much of the final arc/climax in PH. I would have loved (well, “loved”) to see him die later, peacefully, after he’d had his time to live, surrounded by the others; I’d be sad, of course, but not hurt, insulted. Not in the chaos of the climax where it’s treated as a goddamn afterthought, and is so far from what he deserved at all. Vincent got this treatment, satisfied with his life when he died, and it was perfect, so why couldn’t Break get this too?

PH was the second manga I ever read, and so far is the only one I’ve read the longest that has had its conclusion, and within those 4ish years I read it, I grew so attached to its characters, which made Break’s death hurt me so much more - I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s the hardest-hitting character death I’ve ever experienced do NOT fucking challenge that, CERTAIN OTHER SERIES. The combination of how long I read it and how attached I became, how new I was to animanga when I read it, and how much looking back on it has made me able to understand and see the difference between good and bad writing, and realize what kind of bad writing tropes personally bother me the most (of which this one is at the top), is why I’m still so bitter and upset about it to this day, and always will be (and also why I’m wary reading other ongoing manga of quality drops... I’m traumatized, man). Break deserved better and it’s a goddamn tragedy he got shit on the way he did in the last 12 chapters *sips tea and feasts on the salt from my tears*

As for VnC.... it hasn’t been happening much recently that I know of, thankfully, but uhhh the way Domi treats Noe with the collar and all that like he’s her pet is really disturbing, considering that he used to be a slave? And just mmmm no can she Not? Yeah. Not a huge fan of her tbh.

20. Which story do you prefer so far between ph and vnc?

PH without a doubt, but that’s only because its characters are so beloved to me and I’ve seen so much more of them. There just hasn’t been enough of VnC yet, so despite my misgivings about PH’s climax/ending, it still is my favorite of the two. A lot of it is amazing, after all. But who knows, maybe once VnC finishes it’ll be my favorite. Only time will tell if Jun became a better writer and can stick the landing this time.

Thanks Masky!

MochiJun Series Ask Meme

#ask meme #pandora hearts #pandora hearts spoilers #the case study of vanitas #was this just an excuse for me to spill my Break controversial opinions? yes #do I care? no #I will take ANY OPPORTUNITY TO RANT ABOUT THIS TEA #COME AT ME HATERS #i love pandora hearts to death and also hate it #it causes me grief at least once every couple months #the-masked-barona

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b-ap · 5 years

Text

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it. So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride!

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well! And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud” This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!!

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!!

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!!

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE” but I didnt OTL

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~!

#i wrote this during the 2 hour drive back to the city #i actually ditched my friends that weekend to go to the concert LOL cuz it was the same weekend as an anime convention #but i dont regret it at all LOL im sorry friends #i still remember the m&g #i miss them a lot #this fanaccount is so cringe but hey its my feels #lowkey wish i can like steal the venue's security footage of the night lmao #gosh theyre so beautiful #i wish i couldve gotten that last group hug though huuhuu #oh yeah warning this thing is hella long #if you read it then wow #fanaccount #bap #reread this to relive that night #and now im sad #:(

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venus-says · 5 years

Text

Aikatsu! Episodes 06-10

A bright smile to light up your day

I had a shitty day, and tomorrow promise to be just as a shitty so let's get some healing from idols.

WE SHARE THE SAME PROBLEM ICHIGO. Is very frustrating just writing up my name like a peasant in every contract or receipts, it makes me feel so boring and bland. But I never could come up with a design I feel good about. orz one of the reasons why I hate my name Thanks for kicking me in the balls, Johnny. OTL

The face of evil. 😂 Once again Aoi representing me. Gosh I love Ran. Hey nice to see they mention about brands and such, it was about time. (I hope we will start to see those soon, I'm getting tired of their school dresses)

also ICHIGO YOUR SIGN IS NO PRACTICAL AT ALL. The only time Johnny seems to make sense Ichigo just throws that through the window and says "I'm just gonna train", oh boy. 😅 Can't believe they're really doing the autograph session XD Okay I'm glad this episode wasn't just about getting a sign and that Ichigo learned that she also needs to care for her fans while doing it. Valuable lessons. NEW COORD, YAY! The song is still Idol Katsudou but I'm happy we're getting something different. Next is an episode about twitter, oh god XD

Okay what's the deal with making Nao see the girls training all the time? This makes him look like a creep. Ichigo, you need to stop Aoi, I think she's just a little obsessed. These cards came out of nowhere, what the fuck. Okay as much as there's things in this episode that I don't like I've gotta say this moment of Aoi and Ichigo just before Aoi's performance was really sweet. I almost cried. Man I love prism spiral. Another performance with no appeal 🤔 I wonder why. Uhhh I like this ending making it unclear of who sent the message. I'm pretty sure it was just Mizuki but still is nice to have this feel of mystery in the air. Okay next episode (and probably the last) before I go do the dishes from dinner.

Oh this is the episode about Hikari. You know I've always been curious about why is Hikari so popular. I've always seen her everywhere but she's just a side character so this always intrigued me, I hope I'll find the reason behind it now. Why is Ichigo recording a vlog? 😅 "Her singing is in another level" have you listened to the same songs as I did, Aoi? XD her voice sounds very weird to me 😅 Ran's story about how she got her first Spicy Ageha cards is so adorable, omg I wanna hug her.

PRECIOUS!!!!!! Idol Katsudou again...? 😅 Okay Hikari's voice here sounds more natural than in her cd. Ohhhhh first signs of Soleil coming together, I'm excited! So the episode ended and I still don't see anything special about Hikari. 😅 Do people like her just because she was the first non main character to get a CG performance? Or does she appears again later in a more relevant and likeable situation? Anyways, I managed to finish the cleaning faster that I expected so I think I'm good to do like yesterday and watch more two episodes. LESGOU.

Oh so this special audition is just like a normal school exam, I thought this was for a gig. XD I like how they make such a big deal of Premium Rare coords when nowadays idols are already debuting on PRs without we even seeing them in other coords of their brands. Damn this must be frustrating for the ogs. 😅 Anyway, I love how shy Ran actually is. 💜 Damn I just realized the A part of this episode ended before the 7 minutes mark. This is gonna be important huh? Oh is the Splash girls, I didn't knew they were part of the series since this early. Damn, Angely Sugar is old. Oh they actually got their PRs in this episode, I was expecting this to be in the next episode since, well, we've only seen them performing in branded coords once.

DAMN ICHIGO. Ok now I understand why climbing cliffs is so important in Aikatsu as a whole. Major RESPECT. Forget everything I was saying about them getting PRs even though we've only seen them in their brand coords just once. This was well deserved. Congratulations girls, specially to you Ichigo.

I'm glad someone actually touched in this subject. 😅 You did great girls! (Even though the trio appeal of season 1 is very weird, still kudos to y'all)

Okay let me watch the Otome episode and call it a day.

She really felt into the fountain because she was trying to touch the rainbow, oh boy 😅

They really wanna emphasize that Otome is a Pop idol, don't they? Watching this on April with a Christmas event being announced is very weird XD Otome's Pop'n Popcorn CM is freaking adorable, send help. Is Otome _really_ in love with Ran? XD well I can't blame her. OTOME IS PRECIOUS!!!!!!!

"KYUIN TO SOUL GA SHOUT SURU NO DESU" Isn't fun that Angel Snow is a song about winter and all but the stage is the most spring-like possible? Lol Okay this was very Orihime Ex Machina but I'm glad Otome's will have another chance, she's a cutie and she deserves it. u3u Okay I guess that's it for today. Tomorrow is the Christmas episode. I can't believe I'm saying this on April. LOL Anyway, see ya~

#Aikatsu!#aikatsu

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amyure · 6 years

Text

Episode LeSCa Book 1

Tokyo 7 Sisters’ ‘episode LeSCa’ novel tells of how LeSCa come to be, as well as the background for the t7s song "YELLOW". If you have time, maybe after reading this write-up, re-listen to/reread the meaning of that song and I bet you’ll be filled with all kinds of fuzzy and warm tingly feelings.

Thanks to my friend for lending me his copy - Eshtar

So Eshtar had this done ages ago on her Twitter... my bad for taking this long OTL. BTW any oddities in the English are more likely than not my fault. - Nab

Chapter 1

So, the novel begins with our Nishizono Honoka. Honoka came from the district Fukuoka 4th. Unlike Tokyo 7th that is entertainment-centric, Fukuoka 4th is centered on Fashion. She comes from a family which operates a famous restaurant, one laden with history and which is the pride of her hometown. Honoka, coming to Tokyo 7th, tried so hard to ‘get used’ to the new place, going as far as trying to erase her dialect (mostly to no avail since it pops up again whenever she is flustered and she is flustered a lot) and thus ends up talking in a polite manner most of the time.

Honoka was walking down a sidewalk, with sakura petals fluttering about, when someone with glasses called out to her, then frantically began searching for his business card, which he could not find. A girl, beautiful with blonde hair came along and admonished him, "You go out scouting while not bringing your card?!" and shoved onto him a box of business cards that he had apparently ‘left on the office table’. The man, calling the girl ‘Kyouko’, gave Honoka his card while explaining that he was a shihainin (manager) of an idol production company, and asked if Honoka was interested in becoming an idol.

Both Honoka and shihainin-san were running late though, so just like that they parted ways before the question got an answer.

A few days later, Honoka decided to look for the shihainin’s office. After all, the reason she had come to Tokyo 7th was because she wanted to know what she wanted to do in life. Being the only daughter of her family, she was expected to inherit the family business, but Honoka had found herself not that good in cooking, nor even really interested in it. She felt like all her life she had only been going with whatever the flow was, as dictated by the people around her. Her mother had said, “why not go to Tokyo? You will definitely find what you want to do.”

Honoka didn’t really know about idols, but it wasn’t like she was not interested in them either. Then again, it would be wrong to say she had a strong urge to do it at that time. She did, however, want to know why someone like her was scouted by that shihainin and so, she decided to go. When Honoka got to the bus stop though, the bus had already arrived and she was still far. And so she ran frantically shouting, "Waaait!!" as she neared the bus stop. Araki Rena, who was about to get on the bus, saw her running and was struck with a thought of, wow, that girl is really giving her all running here.

Rena went, "Sir, would you wait for that girl over there?" to which the bus driver replied, "I sure don’t mind waiting for your friend." As Honoka was getting on the driver said, "Please sit, your friend is over there," and Honoka was like but we ain't friends but it's mendō...

"Come and sit," said Rena (patting the seat invitingly) and so, Honoka sat beside her and thanked her for stopping the bus driver before, to which Rena went, don't mind it. Honoka then started getting flustered about how she was drenched in sweat and all, while beside a stranger. Rena was like, “Why the hurry? An important thing?” Honoka replied, “Not like, not really important but, uh…” and she started wondering about her life again, while Rena just sort of watched Honoka being lost in her thoughts. This carried on till their destination bus stop, where the girls exchanged names, and Rena said that they MIGHT meet each other again as their schools were close to each other.

After those goodbyes though, Honoka somehow found herself lost and ended up just sitting by Kuonji Park as the sun started to set. What am I doing, why am I lost? she thought to herself.

As Honoka sat on the bench, Rena passed by and went, "Nishizono-san?"

Honoka was like TAT and Rena couldn’t just leave her be and declared, "Let me take you there!" and so they went to Nanasis (the nickname of the company the shihainin worked for) together, which turned out to be so totally RIGHT BESIDE Kuonji Park that Rena went, you serious? and Honoka was like, "Please don't say it, Araki-san."

Rena asked Honoka, “What is this place?” and so Honoka briefly explained why she had wanted to come. She was standing nervously by the main door when it burst open with Kyouko ranting about ‘Coney eating all the guests’ snacks’, almost running right into them and going, "You, from that time."

And for the first time, all three were together.

~~~ That is the first chapter, "Oukasaikai" Man, I should tell you, all chapters from LeSCa are these beautiful 4 character kanji things, it's very peaceful.

Chapter 2

Honoka and Rena waited in the office for Kyouko to return (she had to buy the ‘snacks for guests that Coney ate’) while discussing if that cute blonde girl was an idol. When Kyoko came, Shihainin [Eshtar: the novel doesn’t add any explanation, from here on, he is “shihainin”] who was out for work hadn’t come back yet, so she served tea.

Kyoko was like, “Yeah, I am an idol.”

"But why are you buying snacks and serving tea?" the girls asked.

"Well, we don't have many people, so everyone does what they can. And you,” Kyouko glanced at Rena. “Were you scouted too?"

Rena replied, "No, I am just accompanying her," while taking a donut.

A while later Shihainin came. When Shihainin saw Rena he said excuse me, Araki-san, could you do a twirl at that corner over there? Rena was like “Eh, what, sure?” and she twirled. Shihainin went like, what nice ankles, a great form, with a bit of mumblemumble… He smiled and asked Rena, would you be interested in being an idol? Rena was like ???

Shihainin said, not answering now is okay too, and turned his attention to Honoka, who hadn’t decided, but had still come to Nanasis, and Shihainin was so happy.

"There are people who have interest to ask questions about idols, of course I am happy! Ask me anything!” he announced.

Honoka asked why she was scouted, and Shihainin said it was a feeling, that he was sure if it is this girl, she'd be able to be up there in that poster over there, the moment he saw her under the sakura petals. Like what he felt when he saw Kyouko and Araki-san.

He admitted it may not be a satisfactory reasoning.

“But like, what is ‘idol’ exactly?” Both Honoka and Rena had no idea at all and asked him. At that moment Kyoko was like WTF DID U ASK HIM and they went ??? but Shihainin suddenly went fiery and like LET ME SHOW YOU THE GLORY OF IDOLS and he dragged Kyouko while saying ‘TIS GOOD FOR YOUR TRAINING TOO, COMETH BRETHREN! and Kyouko was like NUOOOOO HAAAAALP and Honoka and Rena were like omg we’re sorry we didn’t knooooooowwwwwww.... and they got lectured on idol culture for a full hour.

On the way home, Rena asked Honoka, What do you think? Honoka was troubled and said that she couldn’t decide yet, but she liked how spirited Shihainin was and he seemed like a good guy.

“What about you?” Honoka asked.

“Well, I don’t know about myself, I have my club too.” Rena replied.

"I see... I guess we should talk with our families too.."

At home, Honoka's aunt who she lived with had cooked a homely meal for her, which tasted like her Mom's cooking. Hearing Honoka’s comments on it, she asked, "do you feel home sick?"

"No, I just think it's great." Both her mom and aunt had been groomed as the next generation owner of the restaurant. Honoka started to daydream again. Her aunt asked if anything was bothering her, and Honoka finally talked about being scouted. Auntie went, oh great, those 7th Sisters! But Honoka still seemed down, so her aunt went calm again and asked her what was wrong?

"I'm just not sure what it is that I want to do.”

She has been here for like a year and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do. Auntie smiled and went, well isn't that is okay? Your Mom wasn't decisive either about the restaurant. Honoka went, “Eh?”

"Sumika-neesan tried out things, making handicrafts, trying to be a mangaka...."

“?!?!”

"But she then met your father, who was her trainer in a cooking school, and just like that inherited the restaurant. Me too, I just saw a pamphlet of my school and just kinda along the way got really into it."

Auntie was like, "Ahaha, maybe that didn’t help much," but Honoka turned to think, shall I try to become an idol now? In this day and age when it is practically gone? Is this what I really want to do, or am I just getting swept by the current again? She couldn't decide, but she knew she was hungry.

Honoka felt it wasn't right to just head to Nanasis without having an answer and was just wandering around the city after school, looking forlorn, when someone called her name, “Nishizono-san!” and it was Kyouko, wearing her school uniform. Kyouko saw Honoka’s distant expression and carried on, “Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday and we're gonna order some flowers, you wanna come?”

"Eh, is it okay?"

"Well sure, I’m the one who’s asking?"

Honoka gladly came. The florist was in a really inconspicuous alleyway and Kyouko was like, "WTF, how does Shihainin even know a florist here?!" Even more surprisingly, by that alleyway they found Rena, playing with kittens. They went, "Why are you here?"

"I’m petting cats."

"Why here?"

"Well, the kittens ran to this place, so…”

Honoka and Kyouko went, “Oh well okay, we’re going to that florist there,” and Rena was like, "I’m gonna keep petting these kittens here." When they came in from being outside the store all this while, Honoka was overcome with barrages of smells and colourful flowers and went, "Wa... so beautiful..." and for a while forgot what she was sad about. Rena from outside the store saw her change in expression and knew right away that something was wrong.

When Kyouko and Honoka left the store, Rena was waiting for them, playing with her bangs and said, “Hey, let’s go out together. Maybe have a meal?” And they decided to go to a family restaurant.

"Don’t you have club activities?" the two girls asked Rena.

"Nah, no training, no worries. Haha," she replied.

At the family restaurant, Kyouko offered, “Let me pay for you guys since you were kind enough to accompany me to the florist.” Rena’s eyes lit up. “Seriously! Then, I order this hamburger, this dessert, this drink, another serving of pizza, ano-”

“IN MODERATION, PLEASE,” Kyouko cut her off there.

They were in such sync with the boke-tsukkomi timing that Honoka, finally, smiled. Rena immediately said, “Ah! That smiling face is better than your sad look.” Honoka realized that Kyouko and Rena had been taking her to places to fix her mood.

"Thank you," Honoka said, to which the two girls both went, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The next moment, an idea struck Kyouko. She phoned shihainin, who responded to her suggestion gladly.

~~~And that was the end of chapter two, "Santosousou."

Chapter 3

Rena, after lazing at school feeling dispirited, met Honoka at the bus stop, greeting her, "Niiishiiiizoooono-san!. They were heading to Nanasis together, because Kyouko had invited them. When they turned the doorknob, however, the office was locked. "Excuse me," someone called out to them from behind.

A girl wearing a Corsica Girls Academy uniform who, rather than ‘cute’, was extremely beautiful, with flowing dark hair and a mole under her eye. Her striking image made both Honoka and Rena go wow!

"W-we were asked to come here by Uesugi-san," the girls explained sheepishly.

"Ah, Kyouko? Oh, you're the one Shihainin scouted!” the uniformed girl apologised, “I am sorry that we are short on staff now, the office is currently empty," and unlocked the door for them, leading them in. She served them tea, but soon had to excuse herself since she had ‘preparation’ to do.

"Is that an idol?" Honoka and Rena were excitedly chatting.

"Like, definitely!"

"What do you eat to be that beautiful?!"

They heard hurried footsteps coming up the stairs followed by a voice, "MUSUBI-CHAAAN! I am sorry I am lateeee!!" and a cute girl with a bob of bright red hair came in. She saw them and after a brief moment of confusion went, "Ah! The one shihainin scouted!" Honoka explained that ‘Musubi’ had went to do ‘preparation’ and the girl was like, “Ah! thank you!” but before she went Honoka asked, “Excuse me, what prep? And what for?”

Already on her way out, the girl with bright red hair replied joyfully, "For something I want to do!" the words ringing in Honoka’s mind.

Kyouko came along, going "You should have phoned me if you were here already!" and brought Honoka and Rena around the area, going to the theater and explaining things. She also told them that Musubi and Haru were going to be performing in a live. It would be streamed, broadcasted to the small pockets of idol fans around the country. Honoka and Rena both knew that Kyouko had really called them there for the live.

And the two ordinary girls they met just then, transformed in front of their eyes. The two might not have sang as good as many singers in Tokyo 7th could have, or danced as great as pro dancers, but there was something about them that drew both Honoka and Rena in. They discussed it on their way back home, how the girls had shined so bright, like lights. Which made Honoka think, again, of what Haru said before she went up there, that it was "Something that I want to do!"

The next day, Kyouko was starting her stretches for training when she heard a knock on the studio door. Kyouko lived in the Nanasis dorm unlike Rena and Honoka, so she was always by the office. She turned and saw Rena walking through the door...

~~~And that ends the 3rd Chapter, "Seikananchuu"

Chapter 4

Honoka was by the front of the office, with Coney circling around her like, "YO, GIRL! BECOME AN IDOL, DAZU!" and Honoka is like ???? but managed to mumble, "I am looking for Uesugi-san." and Coney said, "Oh! You're the one shihainin scouted! Hm! Hm!"

Coney continued, “It's too bad, but you can't meet Kyouko right now, because she is in the middle of some very important training…”

In the training room, Rena was explaining to Kyouko how she had no club anyway and had decided to just come.

Kyouko said, “Well I don’t mind, you can watch me train.”

“Why don’t we stretch together?” Rena suggested.

Kyouko was used to training alone everyday after school and so said, "I can still get good results doing it alone."

"But doing it together, while it will take more time, will bear more results." Rena insisted.

“Okay then.” Kyouku started to stretch and let Rena press on her back from behind, realizing how small Rena's hands were.

After a while... “STOP STOP STOP!” Kyouko burst out.

“Eh? Enough? Are you hurt?” Rena asked.

“Well yeah, enough for me! Is that wrong?”

“No, to be honest, you're more flexible than I thought. Now, it's my turn.”

Kyouko pushed Rena and she so EASILY slid down to the floor. Kyoko was like as expected for a club member… After that, they had dance training but only Kyouko danced. She took out a holocom and played a video of an unknown idol dancing, provided by Shihainin. She had been training with the video numerous times, everyday. “But I am a newbie in this,” Rena said. “It's okay,” Kyouko said, “I am looking for an honest opinion.”

Kyouko started dancing, and after the last move, looked at Rena and asked, “What do you think?”

“Hmmm it's GOOD, well, it's GOOD buuut.”

"But?"

"HMMM."

"It's okay, I did say an honest opinion."

"Can you do the last twirl?" Rena asked. Kyouko twirled again. "Mmmm, something is different..." Rena mused.

However, Rena couldn’t seem to put a finger on it and so stood up and said, "It’ll be easier to show you."

"What?" Kyouko didn’t know what Rena was doing.

"Uesugi-san twirled like this," Rena said, while performing the move, “While that idol, she twirled like... this." Kyouko was dumbfounded.

It couldn’t have been more than just a slight difference in her hand posture, or the way her feet moved, but in that moment, Rena was beautiful.

"Do you really have no experience in dancing?" Kyouko asked.

"Eh? No."

But she had done it perfectly. Kyouko asked her to do the twirl again and Rena was like man these people love twirling.

"Is it really okay, me being here?" Rena finally ended up asking.

"Yes," Kyouko replied. Kyouko had managed to grasp that point of the dance that she had been stuck on for weeks now, just by Rena being there and showing Kyouko her weak point.

Rena then asked, "Why an idol?"

"Well, I used to hate idols."

"Eh, what?"

"I hated idols."

"Uesugi-san sure can joke," Rena tried to brush off Kyouko’s serious statement.

“No, I’m not joking."

"Wait, seriously? But then, why are you here?"

Kyouko paused, then asked Rena, "Do you know a lot about movies?"

“Eh? Not really. I had a friend who loves them and shoved movies onto me though."

"Then, do you know Midorikawa Juri?"

Rena’s ears perked up, “Oh! That super beautiful actress! My friend showed me a movie of hers once!”

"Yes, she is beautiful, has a great voice, and is extremely talented in acting."

"What about her?" Rena asked.

"She is my mother."

"...Wait, what?" Rena paused briefly, “B-B-BUT YOUR SURNAME IS DIFFERENT,” she burst out.

"Seriously, that is where you got caught up? Of course, that is just her stage name. Her real surname is Uesugi. Uesugi Asuna." Kyouko said. Rena’s jaw dropped. So Kyouko's father is a foreigner, and this is where she had gotten her middle name.

"Is it okay to just say this kinda thing to me?" Rena finally said.

"It's okay." Kyouko explained that she did not even have many memories of her mother, since she had always been busy. When Kyouko was in kindergarten, she got an idol role in a performance and she hated it so much, but somehow, unexpectedly her mother made sure to attend the play. After that performance, her mother patted her head and said, "You're really cute. You did well." That was the first ever compliment her distant mother ever gave her, and despite Kyouko's reluctance to admit it, her mother's presence was a big part of her life.

"Why not be an actress?" Rena asked. Kyouko looked like her mother and even had a similar voice. Thus, she did not want to be under the shadow of her mother and wanted to establish her place, under her own name, not as Midorikawa Juri's daughter. That is also why she trains hard day and night for it. Rena asked if it was okay for Kyouko to be telling her such personal matters and Kyouko said she did not mind, although she realized that with Rena, she tended to just say everything, unlike her usual self.

After bidding Rena off, Kyouko went down to the Nanasis office, where she found a tray of oddly shaped onigiri, which looked like they must have been made by someone damn bad in cooking, and an overcooked tamagoyaki, with a note saying, "Great work for the lesson! Also, don't push yourself too hard! ~ Nishizono Honoka"

Although noting to herself how terrible the person must be in cooking (she could tell from merely the shape of the food), Kyouko took one of the onigiri and placed it in her mouth, feeling a warmth spreading through her stomach and chest.

~~~End of Chapter 4 : Heisuiruten

This is the end of book 1.

Link to book 2 summary Back to summaries

#Lesca #nishizono honoka #kyoko u uesugi #Tokyo 7th シスターズ #tokyo 7th sisters #t7s #novel #translation #araki rena #eshtarwind #ナナシス

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flavorednarry · 6 years

Note

How was yesterday evening??!!!! Dying to know your thoughts once you recover from PCD 😅!

WHERE DO I BEGIN !!

The first time i visited Denver, it was an impromptu decision, a flight booked mere 6hours prior to departure, just to meet a childhood buddy who i hadnt met for years because she had moved to US and i was still in india.. then when i happened to move to US, she was about to go back to India!

anyways, long story short, it was christmas 2015 and a long weekend and we were just chatting on whatsapp and the chat ended up with me flying out of orlando to meet her in denver! so, that trip holds dear to my heart already because it’s the only white christmas i have ever experienced in my life and we had such a great time ! both of us were like.. when we were kids, did you ever imagine that one day we’ll get apart for years and then reunite in effin’ DENVER, COLORADO, U.S.A of all places??!!

Cut to august 2018.. i.e the next time i visited Denver, to see my absolute favorite artists - maren and niall - perform live and together! this was my first time seeing maren live and whoaa it happened to be at RED FREAKIN’ ROCKS??!! it cannot get more special than this! :’)

Maren’s set was a total blast ofcourse.. been singing her songs, listening to her covers since 2016, never got bored of her, when her set completed, i was like, ahhhhh! mission accomplished! gaaad that was a wholesome experience :’) and i kid you not when i say that i thought it’s over, time to leave hjkhbkcjj LOL and i caught myself being such a doofus for thinking that it was over because that’s when i realised OH NO WAIT !! NIALL’S NEXT !! i know this sounds ridiculous but i swear, i had to like- sit down and process the fact that niall’s next! until that moment, “seeing niall perform live at red rocks” was still an unattainable goal in my head.. i am SSSO not used to having such things happen to me HAHA! the whole 40min interval between the two sets had me gradually let the fact sink in that it is indeed mr. niall horan who will be taking that stage next and fulfilling his lifelong dream and i am really here to witness it in person! you better get a grasp on the reality Pallavi lol

and then, when he arrived, i just stared at his sleeked-back hair with that high stiff quiff and that clean shaven face with that bare chest peeking out of his black shirt.. BLACK !! the whole time they were playing OTL intro and i couldnt even recognize the song.. lol, he had me mesmerized, truly!

by the time i gathered my senses, he was talking abt how when he was 11, he had watched u2 on tv perform their 1983 gig at this venue and that was also the time when he had found his calling i.e. playing guitar and singing.. and how he remembered thinking at that tender age that he wanted to play this venue, not knowing what venue it was! and then he started singing this town and the whole audience lit up with the irish tricolor lights.. it was like- if you were wondering why the sky is devoid of stars, the answer is because they all descended to this place.. just take a look around.. god.. it’s so beautiful!! i am sure i heard niall try not to well up while he sang.. bt, can you imagine what a sight it must be to behold from the stage?? :’)

also- there was this moment when niall pointed out at the moon while talking about being 20 mins into the gig and still in awe of the venue! and my piscean self immediately latched on to that, cuz it’s the moon he is thinking about ! how very fascinating that our minds connect in such mystical ways.. now, everytime i see a half crescant moon on a clear night sky, i’ll be reminded of niall at red rocks, no doubt! :’)

speaking of the moon.. the shooting star!! it graced us with it’s presence right when fool’s gold ended and TMTA begun.. (speaking of fool’s gold btw, it was kinda dampener that the audience werent loud when niall asked to sing along the last verse.. twice! but you know what? that audience wasnt exactly a 1d fanbase.. ppl from all demographics were there to see niall and it was immediately quite understandable that they wouldnt know the words to a 1d song.. so its fine.. but heyy!! DITD? Wont back down?? it was LIT !!)

back to the shooting star.. the timing of it! exactly when niall transitioned from a 1d song to one of his solo songs? and it lasted like 3 seconds max.. like -wait for it- a FLICKER ! :) (no pun intended) it was like.. a blessing.. like, if the universe was a person, it was probably thinking “YESS! this is exactly how i wrote his destiny and i am super proud of his achievement!” and then it flicked it’s magic wand (hence the curved flicker of light in the sky right above the stage) as a seal of approval..! for those who saw it happen, it probably felt like, believe it or not, the gig was indeed enchanted!

#niall #flicker world tour red rocks #maren morris #niall horan #everything was so overwhelming #i found it difficult to focus on jake's famous guitar solos.. :(#kudos to the boys for holding on to their nerves the whole time #and deliver an excellent performance from start to finish!

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ksbwnotes · 3 years

Text

Chapter 5

...reading this drains my soul...OTL <-- Me crawling forward in the same way I keep making myself read the chapters lol

1. Seriously, why Bum

Well, I say that, but the more I think of it, the more I can see other people reacting similarly, even if that wouldn’t be the common response. Bum doesn’t really know what else to do but follow Sangwoo’s orders and he does increase his chances of survival in the long run if he just does what Sangwoo says. He might die from the rat poison, but he definitely will end up getting something broken/cut off if he disobeys Sangwoo.

Also, Bum doesn’t just have BPD (because if it was just that, honestly, Bum doesn’t fit the criteria from what I’ve seen), he has dp/dr disorder, psychosis, and complex PTSD. So I think all of that mixed together, it really effects the way he sees things, which explains his less...sensical conclusions.

But that’s just a realistic outlook. From a more personally entertaining one, it’s kind of like Bum has this block that keeps him from doing things like lashing out at Sangwoo.

If Sangwoo ended up eating the poison, Bum could allay responsibility by saying “well, that’s his fault for falling for it, I gave all possible clues that I poisoned it after all”, which could give another angle as to why he reacted so obviously. This is Bum’s way of keeping what little sanity he has in tact, even if it does mean staying with Sangwoo. I dunno, I have a lot of thoughts on KS and I have no clue on how to dump them all out in a way that would make fkkn sense...because, actually, a lot of them disconnect and branch off into alternatives, so are technically separate from each other, which ends up confusing me lol.

2. Ohhhh okay

Oh this is why Sangwoo called Bum ugly...he also called him a bunch of other stuff earlier, but the ugly part--just contained to this scene--is also spurred by how Bum tried to poison him.

It also does makes sense because Sangwoo knows that, even if someone smiles at him in the way Bum does, it can’t mean anything good because he KNOWS he has done nothing to deserve Bum’s smile.

And I dunno, the way Sangwoo ensures that Bum swallows it, reading Bum’s intentions to not swallow (which...how were you going to make that happen, Bum) and silently giving a physical warning to make sure he does swallow as punishment for what he tried to do.

To be honest, now that I know Sangwoo’s mom killed the dad via poisoning, I’m surprised that this wasn’t a trigger for Sangwoo. He beat Bum up for dropping plates, so why didn’t Bum trying to off him the way his mom offed his dad send Sangwoo off the deep end?

3. Wait, so what happened after this???

Did...obviously Sangwoo didn’t actually...finish eating it right?? So what the heck, what did they do after this? Why is it that Sangwoo is just...treating everything normally? I mean, he didn’t make Bum cook something different, but he had to have eaten something...but he wasn’t angry at Bum ruining dinner??? No seriously, there’s a huge gaping hole in plot here.

Bum listening to Sangwoo’s orders actually did end up saving Bum. It appeased Sangwoo. Maybe because they were able to get past this pretending that everything was ‘normal’? In a way, it’s like Sangwoo is saying ‘Yeah, I don’t blame you for trying to poison me. Thank you for being so goddamn obvious about it, btw. It was like you were trying to save me hahah.’

4. ...Did...

...Did Sangwoo just call the radio station he always has on in his house to ask them to play that song??

Seriously, it’s like everything Sangwoo does just shows how trapped he is in the past.

5. No seriously

What does Sangwoo DO in that basement???

6. Oh hey, the first time he does this

Like when Bum later tries to kill himself, Sangwoo is about to put him back in the downstairs bedroom, changes his mind, then brings him upstairs to his bedroom.

So in here, he does the same because Bum is injured THE SAME WAY HE WAS TRYING TO KILL SANGWOO, but Sangwoo still decides to take care of him in a better way. He no longer doesn’t think it’s “right” for Bum to be in the basement, Bum has no place there anymore.

And it shows that Sangwoo is really just...reactionary. He really means it when he later tells Bum “I don’t plan things” because...gahdang, man. The way he just reacts to his environment is really split second, it’s kind of unnerving and it really contributes to the worsening of his PTSD.

7. Oh my god Sangwoo

Wth is going through your brain, seriously.

Okay wait, now that I’ve gone through more chapters and got to point #11, maybe Sangwoo is just...confused as fuck. As in, why Bum is this way. Since we later see Sangwoo treating Bum only after he tries to kill himself, then maybe Bum actually took the poison himself and here we see the aftereffects of the ‘suicide’. So maybe this is just an early parallel to what Bum will outright be doing in the future.

This also explains why, in earlier panels before collapsing, Bum is asking himself “what’s happening”, because him and Sangwoo ate the rat poison, but there was no reaction, so he maybe thought that it wasn’t enough or the rat poison was just regular salt pills or something. I don’t freaking know.

8. Wow, Sangwoo really going the extra mile here

I can assume that Bum actually vomited in the bucket, but it’s clean, implying that Sangwoo actually cleaned it up for him.

9. Okay...?

So either Bum is having auditory hallucinations or Sangwoo brought back his next hunt.

So that could be another reason why Sangwoo doesn’t think Bum belongs in the basement, because he’s no longer the ‘prey’ that Sangwoo reserves that basement for. Bum means more than them.

10. *squints* is that...not blood??

Saliva? Tears? Sweat?? Water from washing dishes??? jfc

11. “Are you okay?” *WHEEZE*

I love how Koogi does not reveal whether Bum means that in a “shouldn’t you be sick too” or a “I hope you’re not sick” and...seriously, I’m just really confused at what’s going on.

Does this mean that Sangwoo DID eat the soup and whatnot??@?!?!?!?!?! WAS BUM PUTTING THE GODDAMN RAT PILLS JUST HIS IMAGINATION!?!?!??! I’M. I’M SO CONFUSED!?!??!?! IS THAT WHY SANGWOO IS TREATING HIM SO NICELY???? BECAUSE HE THOUGHT BUM WAS TRYING TO POISON HIM, BUT ACTUALLY THAT WASN’T WHAT BUM DID!?!?!?!?!?! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GAPS, KOOGI, YOU’RE REALLY JUST TRYING TO FUCK WITH OUR BRAINS HERE HUH (i seriously and sincerely applaud you).

12. ...*stares off into the distance*

What goes through your head whenever you end up asking these things, Bum?

13. I genuinely do think Sangwoo is fine with this

Even though there are parts of Sangwoo that are confusing--because he can be impulsive--for the most part, it’s easy to see what parts will trigger him or not. I think Bum being genuinely interested in Sangwoo and pleading for things that have the “let me be with you” vibe is what Sangwoo wants all along, so it won’t trigger him.

But that’s only if Bum does things like stop trembling and actually looking like he wants to be with Sangwoo, since Sangwoo can very accurately read Bum’s body language and what not.

14. Wait, sir, you are a fkkn unreliable narrator

Uhm...they died in a homicide three years ago, Sangwoo...that was when you were 21/22...are you saying the last time you sat at the little table with your mom, your dad overlooking you, was during high school??? I cannot trust your explanations lol.

15. First look into Sangwoo’s childhood abuse

Huh, this entire thing is interesting because it makes me go at an entirely different angle than what ended up actually happening at the end.

If I read this webtoon while it was being updated, I would’ve never come to the conclusions I’m coming up with now because the ending gives the story an entirely different conclusion.

For one, if it really is the run of the mill domestic violence situation, I honestly don’t think Sangwoo would be killing women the way he is now. There was something else to these memories. Something that was so much sinister than what happened growing up with his father, that it completely broke Sangwoo in a way that his father’s abuse did not. Something that he can never say until his madness ran so deep, that he could no longer suppress those memories.

The one we see here, with the table, was actually the least worse of Sangwoo’s memories. That is why he is able to bring it up, even in a fond a way. Because, in a way, these were Sangwoo’s happiest memories. The least painful ones. The safest of them.

That is why, as we get further in the story, we can see the descent into the truth of Sangwoo’s path directly correlating to how he is destroying himself in real time (I just wanna know when that occurs, because obviously, Bum is the catalyst for Sangwoo’s destruction).

16. Ooooh, Koogi’s art

I love the dichotomy between Sangwoo’s mom (Eunsoo???) and Sangwoo’s appearance. Eunsoo (even if it’s wrong, it’s easier just to type this lol) doesn’t actually acknowledge or see the reality before her, but her mouth is wide open in fear to show how she is still reacting to it. Sangwoo, on the other hand, only has his eye drawn because he does see the reality before himself. But because he’s powerless and he knows that using his words/making sounds will do nothing or even make the situation worse, he is mouthless.

17. “someone like you”

Honestly, for me, this was more derogatory than Sangwoo calling Bum ‘ugly’ and a ‘loser’. Here, it’s like acknowledging Bum is worthless that, if it weren’t for current circumstances, he would’ve never opened up to Bum like this. It’s just that Sangwoo has no better alternative, so he has no choice but to rely on Bum. This type of tone carries on throughout the series, where it’s obvious that Sangwoo is only with Bum because he would literally have no one else by his side.

In another way, Sangwoo is saying that an abusive serial killer is the only type of person that could ever be with “someone like” Bum.

18. Wait what??

Uh so this is the immediate reply after Bum saying sorry and...I honestly am at a loss over what Sangwoo means by this.

19. Hmmmn...

Well, knowing that I know now, Sangwoo is saying this because he doesn’t want Bum to do this to himself and this is the only way he knows how to show his concern and desire to keep Bum alive.

When Sangwoo is verbally abusing here, it seems to have a different vibe than the other times. I can’t really explain why without having to look back at my other notes, but when Sangwoo says things “I hate guys like you the most”, it’s his way of deterring Bum from trying to hurt himself again.

And honestly, if I’m right and Bum actually swallowed the rat pills himself, then Sangwoo is thinking Bum was actually trying to kill himself and that is what spurred him even more into making these comments.

20. l;earjgiejario;gejrogjreagpjrea’ fucking hell

This is more deranged when you know HIS MOM’S CORPSE IS LITERALLY BEHIND THE WALL IN THE LIVING ROOM HAHAHHAH.

21. UhhhhHHHHHHHH

that...that ISN’T A GOOD THING THOUGH SANGWOO. You'RE NOT DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA, YOU’RE JUST BURYING IT TO LET THE WOUNDS FESTER AND COME OUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY. PLEASE SANGWOO.

“Why? How? I looked for the reason. And then I saw you. You might’ve been sprawled in the basement, but the fact that we were together made me feel relieved. And I’m even being loved! That makes me feel so strong. You wanted to know what you should do right? *kisses Bum’s wrist* I wonder if this is a good enough answer.”

...Honestly, I do not have the energy to parse out my thoughts on this matter. Not right now. :’)

22. *rubs hand over face* And here comes the hard part

It actually is interesting that Sangwoo still kisses Bum despite the fact that he has been vomiting the whole day and didn’t actually brush his teeth.

He complained about Bum’s leg hair, so I would’ve expected Sangwoo to grimace and say that Bum was right. However, he didn’t. Actually, Bum’s reaction might’ve even made Sangwoo want to kiss him more (Bum blushing, obviously wanting to kiss, but trying to think of Sangwoo and worrying about being too gross).

In a way, I do think this is all of Sangwoo’s way of trying to ensure Bum doesn’t leave him. He’s trying to ensure Bum doesn’t try to kill himself, to a point where he’ll give Bum some semblance of romantic love even if he himself doesn’t feel that. Because desperation to not be alone--to have someone who can love him unconditionally in the way he has never been loved--is different from truly want to be with someone.

He’s using sex and romance as weapons to keep Bum, because he has never seen either used as anything healthy.

23. UggggghhhHHHHHHHHH

Honestly, the hardest part for me to go through is the sexual/romantic parts between Sangwoo and Bum. 😂 Because those are things that are supposed to only be between people who love, respect, and trust each other, and those two up there are so far from that those are not even an option for them.

Like seriously, this was the part I was dreading reading, but I’m scared about missing a detail that’s important to the rest of the story.

And honestly, the thing that pains me the most is Bum’s response. He really loses himself whenever pleasure is involved. He is so low on feel-good neurotransmitters that he can lose himself in something like this and it really hurts because it makes everything so much worse and I’M DYING.

24. *wheeze*

Okay, but this reaction actually made reading this less painful xD I’m dying for a different reason lol

So another poster did mention how this harkens to him most likely having a oral-based trauma. And considering how his mom did rape him before killing herself, this is a very, very likely possibility.

I also don’t think this connects to him *ahem* “not being gay” because, honestly, getting a blow job doesn’t have to necessarily come from a female. Arguments can be made that a straight man can accept BJs from men.

But either way, I frkkn agree with Sangwoo because Bum is SCARY. Like. Bum wanting to give Sangwoo a BJ honestly terrifies me too. And it cracks me up that Sangwoo genuinely looks unnerved and confused by Bum’s reaction, it’s hilarious.

OH WAIT.

Continuing on, Sangwoo allows Bum to touch his dick?? Huh. I dunno, maybe I just have a screwed perception, but touch seems like more...intimate than a BJ? BJ has a more superior vibe to it that can easier objectify the giver. So Sangwoo refusing one does support more of the oral-trauma theory.

25. Ooooh??

I think it’s really interesting that Koogi decided to not draw Sangwoo’s expression here.

It really does seem like Sangwoo is only doing this because it’s a way to keep Bum with him. Later, as we see him get more sexual with Bum, we also see him lose more and more of himself to the trauma with his mom.

26. Okay but this blush

Awh...he could’ve been such a cutie pie...:’) Seriously, Sangwoo could’ve been such a good person, both him and Bum could’ve, so it really breaks me knowing that they couldn’t be.

Anyways, I don’t think this blush is in response to the hand job. I do think that the reason why Koogi didn’t show his expression is because Sangwoo was dissociating from the situation. Later, we see him confusing Bum with his mom during sexual moments, so I don’t even think Sangwoo enjoys sex with women. There is too much trauma for him to enjoy sex in general. If I’m correct (I might be able to see it more once we see Jieun), then Sangwoo can only have sex without dissociating if it’s violent and unhealthy.

The moment he feels pleasure, his mind blanks out. The moment he feels happiness, he tries to destroy it. The moment he feels ‘normal’, his psyche breaks even further. And Bum makes it worse because--as you see here, he doesn’t actually pay attention to anything else but his own pleasure--and he takes things face-value so that he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences. Bum is just as messed up as Sangwoo, only in a different way, so they both bring out the worst from each other. Which is difficult because the only time they can ‘feel’ the best is with each other.

Anyways, I think this blush is because of what Bum said: “I wish we could mix together like this”...with...the sperm. God Bum, you’re killing me.

Anyways, Sangwoo’s reaction is due more to the romantic aspect, with the thought of him and Bum being together forever. For that to happen, he’s willing to let his relationship with Bum be sexual despite how he can’t have a healthy sexual relationship.

Yeah, okay, it was important for me not to skip that part, I can accept defeat. OTL

#chapter 5 #volume 1

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brown-rice · 7 years

Text

Tagged by @cafe-et-tiramisu for the “Truths Tag” thing (*・∀-)☆

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you respond with truths about you and choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagging @transbakugoukatsuki @rmxstudiojd @leetaliel @kronchip @disney-princess-izuku @bean-paste-man @maytheamazing if you wanna do it.

I wrote so much OTL

Last:

Drink: Earl grey tea + milk

Phone Call: My sister telling me she was outside w/ my boba and food

Text Message: From my new friend Dean asking for help on the lab and about watching Violet Evergarden

Song you listened to: Kyouran Hey Kids!! - The Oral Cigarettes

Time you cried: Uhhhhh Tuesday morning having a meltdown over my midterms :^)

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: If cheesy middle school romances count, then yeah

Been cheated on: Hmm, no even tho we were together all but in name

Kissed someone and regretted it: OML YEAH FUCK THAT GUY FROM AX

Lost someone special: Oh yep, last year I lost a lot of close friends b/c we’d just grown too far apart and they didn’t care about me anymore

Been depressed: /sweats nervously

Been drunk and thrown up: During fam reveal, I went too hard and overdid it, but was also proud b/c my limit is higher than I thought it would be KEK

In the past year have you:

Made a new friend: I made quite a few chill friends from the server and have slowly been making friends here and there at school!

Fallen out of love: I think so, I was in love w/ my childhood friend for a long amount of time, but I feel alright about it now

Met someone who changed you?: I don’t think I’ve met just one person who changed me since the “me” now is a culmination of my experiences/interactions w/ a lot of people

Found out who your true friends are: Sort of, although a little unfortunately haha. I’m thankful for those that did stick by me, but it resulted in me realizing that some people I thought would be a “true friend” were just taking advantage of me. srry im still a little salty/bitter abt this but im working thru it

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah? Past hs me would have been really mad about it, but current me doesn’t care enough lol

General:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: I know quite a few friends from band and high school, my server friends (who I’ve seen in pics or have heard in calls), and mutuals I’ve messaged

Do you have any pets?: YES I LOVE MY DOG HACHI, we also have a lot of fish in tanks and the koi pond back home. By extension, my roommate’s cat Sake is pretty much my cat now huehueh

Do you want to change your name?: Nope, I’ve never been much fixated on it besides how long my full name is

What time did you wake up this morning?: I technically didn’t sleep since I was studying for my ochem midterm and i got my ass handed to me in test form anyway

What were you doing last night?: procrastinating, lab hw, and studying for ochem

Name something you cannot wait for: On a smaller scale: AX. Long term: I just wanna be out of school, in a job that I kinda like and is stable enough so that I can commission all my friends and finally have a place of my own that I can decorate and call home without feeling lonely or suffocated

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: My brother-in-law’s name is Tom haha

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: Mainly classes and school since I still feel wrong about my career path, I had to drop a class, and my anal chem lab is frustrating the shit out of me. I miss cc

Blood type: I’m pretty sure it’s O+, but it could be O-

Nickname: Besides “Steph,” I’ve had a lot of nicknames over the years. Memorable ones are Stephie/Stephy, Steve, Vending Machine, Beanie Head, and “mom.” Neko and Mocha told me to add “daddy” and I die a little inside

Relationship status: Single and don’t really care to mingle LMAO

Zodiac sign: Ox and Cancer w/ Gemini ascendant

Pronouns: She/her, but don’t mind they/them

Favorite show: If we’re talking actual TV then Friends, B99, ATLA, Chopped, Voltron, Gravity Falls, and Danny Phantom. If it’s anime then /sweats as I look at all these shows

College: Transfer student from Mt. Sac now going to UCSD and i wanna mcfuckin die ayyy lmao

Hair color: It’s dark brown/black w/ light brown where the sun hits

Do you have a crush on someone?: Currently no, but I am low key flirting with Dean oops

What do you like about yourself?: Maybe the fact that it’s very hard to make me legit mad, but beyond that /sweats profusely

Firsts:

First surgery: Unless wisdom teeth removal counts, none yet

First Piercing: My mom got my ears pierced when I was like 1

First sport you joined: I think I took karate for a little in 4th grade?? I joined tennis and marching band at the same time officially in 8th grade

First vacation: Hmmm, I think I remember one of the first things we did when we came to America was go to Disneyland

First pair of sneakers: Oddly enough I remember my little slip-on Sketchers that were purple and white with pink, purple, and blue flowers

Right now:

Eating: Dino nuggets /w bbq sauce, and I might make some noodles b/c I’m still so hungry oml

Drinking: A fresh cup of early grey + milk

Listening to: Whatever’s playing in the DJ booth, which is Reach You - Sako Tomohisa

Want kids?: At some point yeah, I’m also pretty sure I’m gonna adopt at least 1 kid whether I have my own or not

Get married?: Maybe. That’s a problem for future me, but if I happen to meet someone(s) good for me, then sure

Career: After bouncing around a bit, I think I’ve settled into chemistry for forensics w/ specialization in pharmacology and toxicology. It still doesn’t feel quite right to me, but it’s the best I’ve got

Which is better?:

Lips or eyes?: Eyes, since I think eye contact can tell you a lot about a person

Hugs or kisses?: Hugs, but I’m big on personal space and barely accept hugs from even my closest friends, plus there’s some weird belief that I don’t like hugs?? and idk where that came from

Shorter or taller: I oddly like being the shortest person in a group?? So I prefer if people are taller than me

Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, I really can’t stand it when people are super hesitant or can’t make decisions. I’m rly tired of having to make decisions all the time

Romantic or spontaneous: Both, but I think I lean a little more towards spontaneity since I’m a person who likes careful planning. Romance is whatever for me, so I’d rather have someone push me to be a little more spontaneous

Sensitive or loud: A balance of both would be preferable, but if I had to pick, then loud. I’m a lot more introverted than I was before and prefer if people are a little more extroverted than I am but have a level of chill where silences are comfortable

Hookup or relationship?: Relationship. I don’t really do hookups. I know I could, and I’ve been asked to before, but I’m not really big on sex

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: Technically AX boy counts b/c I met him 2 days before we made out lmao

Drank hard liquor: Yeah, but I’m not super big on drinking and just enjoy a smirnoff ice/mike’s hard every so often

Lost contacts/glasses: Nope, surprisingly I haven’t lost my glasses yet

Sex on first date: Likely never, they’d have to be someone who I mesh with super well for that to happen

Broken someone’s heart: A few yeah. Apparently I broke my friend’s roommate so bad that every time he’d drink he’d just talk about how I was the one who got away

Been arrested: Not yet

Turned someone down: /sweats Yeah, a lot. I don’t mean this in a bragging way, because I always feel ridiculously bad about it, but my friends joke about me being “unattainable” and a heart-breaker all the time _(:3」∠)_

Fallen for a friend: I’ve only ever fallen for close friends oops

Do you believe:

In yourself?: Not at all

Love at first sight?: I think it’s out there, just not for me

#tagged #personal #about me #ty for the tag friend #just chilling before maybe another nap and then i get up to do actual work LMAO

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queenharumiura · 7 years

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💐

Valentine’s day memes: [x] Send me…💐: A playlist for our muses

Look friend, I did talking. Lots of it. There are like what 9 (my fave number) songs here? This is going under a readmore for ‘Neo talks too much, shut up’ reasons:

Note: Any part of any song that may sound romantic, just consider it to be some weird contrived way of Haru’s mind translating that to familial love or whatever. I couldn’t find many songs that fit them both perfectly but hey, I tried. I found songs that fit a good amount and i’m happy with that. This is my first attempt at a playlist so go easy on me. OTL

I justcan’t wait to be king ( ‘Lion King’ movie) - I imagine that Haru watches a lot of Disney with the kids and this one reminds her of Lambo. He’s always aspiring to be a great and powerful guy, yanno? So she sees this song to be a song that fits his aspirations very well. It’s an upbeat and child-like song that fits him.

Stand by you (Rachel Platten) - This song is one that she likes because not only is the song catchy, but it lines up well with how Haru feels. She’s very supportive of the lil guy, and she will ‘stand by him’. I understand that part of the lyrics can sound romantic and all that, but let’s face it Haru translated those parts in her mind as familial love since she’s an only child and she’s always wanted a sibling so it’s like he’s all she ever wanted in a younger sibling. He’s a very cute child who is trying his very best and it makes her want to support him.

Home (Chris Daughtry) - I personally love this song since we sang it for choir, and when I was thinking on it, I felt like this may be a song that Haru found and thought: I wonder if Lambo feels this way about those of us in Namimori, does he consider us to be home?’ So she listens to this song and contemplates those thoughts. It’s like, no matter where he goes and wherever things takes him, he’ll always have home with them. There is a part: ‘I don’t regret this life I chose for me’ and she thinks about how he’s a part of the mafia and how she hopes that he won’t regret being involved.

You raise me up (Westlife)- Haru thinks it to be a bit presumptuous of her, but she put this song in the playlist because she hopes that a part of this song is relatable in Lambo’s eyes. Even if it isn’t, she will still keep it in her playlist because she can relate to the song as well in some way. It’s a song, which to her sounds like a song that states that one supports the other and makes them feel strong. Though Lambo can’t physically support her or raise her up, he does help her in some ways. When things get hard for her and she is scared, she sees how hard he’s working. He’s the one that’s involved with the mafia. He was born into it. Though so young and a bit cowardly, he’s still trying to stand tall. If he can do it, why can’t she? She can be strong, just like that lil one. Watching him gives her more emotional strength and she’s secretly grateful to him because it’s hard. Though it is, she can’t give up because he’s still doing his best and she has to live up to it if that makes sense.

Don’t Grow up too fast (Daisy Mallory)- SSHHHHHH I know it starts off with ‘If I had a lil sister’ but I promise this song is relevant regardless. This song relates to Haru’s feelings when she looks at Lambo. She can see how he’s always trying to grow up quickly. He wants to quickly catch up to the ‘big bros’ but she still wants him to enjoy his youth and have a childhood. Don’t grow up too fast. You are still a kid. Please stop hurting yourself because you want to grow up so quickly. Enjoy life some more. Okay but I love the part where the singer sings about the boys and Haru agrees. Ignore them. ‘half of what they say is really just a bunch of noise. You got your whole life waiting, so don’t get all caught up in talking about forever, it’ll happen soon enough’. YEAH IGNORE THEM. Yes, you are childish, YOU ARE A CHILD. What should they expect from you? Don’t beat yourself over this. Accept yourself and understand that it will come in time. It’ll happen soon enough, don’t rush it. Please Lambo, don’t grow up too fast, because when you do, it’ll be too late to have the carefree fun. You’ll have more responsibilities and be involved with more pain. You may lose more people close to you and what not. More than that, it’s the feelings of an older sister who is really insecure and worried that if he’s all grown up’ she may lose him one day on a mission and she has cried over that when she thought about it or had nightmares about it. She’s terrified of the fact that one day she’ll be called and told he died. I mean even during the Vongola Ring battle thing he was in the hospital. If he was involved like that as a child, what if when he’s an adult? She’s scared. Are you crying yet? I SURE AM. HAVE BEEN

My Wish (Rascal Flatts)- Another song about her feelings. This song is pretty good at describing her wishes for Lambo. She wants for the everything the lyrics talk about for him. Know somebody loves you. May you never forget the ones who love you. May you get what you want in life. Hopefully you don’t get given more than you can handle. Guess it’s just the hopeful wishings of a self-proclaimed older sister. Yay for a shorter one because it’s easy to explain. HUZZAH.

Look Through My eyes (Phil Collins- Brother Bear movie) - Look through her eyes and maybe you’ll see something new. You are always progresing and learning new things. You are steadily becoming that lightening guardian you are some day to become. She’ll be there watching over you. Don’t be afraid, you can do it. No matter how discouraged or scared you get about the future, she’ll be there by your side and help you along the way. She’ll try to guide you and help you see that you’ll get there. Every time you feel depressed and lost, she’ll remind you: you are doing great. This song is pretty passionate in the sound, I feel. Like it sounds like it’s full of action and what not. It feels like it could be like a themesong of Lambo’s journey to becoming the strong guardian. Haru definitely tries to sing along with one. When Lambo is giving himself a hard time or if someone else is giving him a hard time, she can only see a young child who is being forced to grow up too quickly. How difficult it must be for a child to get used to such things. FREAKING STARING AT YOU SHIMON BATTLE AND THE VARIA BATTLE. THAT POOR COW CHILD!! Y’all can tell me what the Hell you want, but you have to give him credit and props for trying. Yes, he was scared. He wanted to run, and in a way he did, but he still did his best to stand his ground. He’s a CHILD, there is a limit to how much he can do and how much he can handle on a mental level. She is very impressed by him and she honestly hurts a bit if and when she ever catches Lambo being hurt or feeling insecure about himself. You are doing so good. If she was put in the same situation at your age, there is no way she could handle it. You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed. Don’t be discouraged, lil one. Ignore what the others may say to you. Big sis believes in you. She honestly wants to whisk you away and hide you away from the mafia world but she knows she can’t. You were born into it. You are heavily involved and it’s too late. Oh how she wishes she could save you from it, but she can’t, so all she can do is do her best to stay with you. Protect you when she can, and raise you up. HERE I AM CRYING AGAIN, DANG IT. I’m an elder sister myself. The eldest in fact. I’m the first born of my generation so i’m legit the oldest sister of all my cousins. i’m an emotional sister type, okay? I cried harder than my parents at their graduations.

You’ll be in my Heart (Phil Collins- Tarzan movie) - Ahahaha another song which is kind of like a song for Lambo. If she ever shared this playlist with him, she’d hope he’d know those are her words to him. You’ll be in her heart as an adorable lil brother of hers. That will never change, and he’ll always have a place in her heart. They’re both zany lil characters. A lot of the times, the others don’t understand either Lambo or Haru. They still get along and can relate to each other. It doesn’t matter if they can’t understand their bond. They can just support each other. One day, in time, they’ll see him for what he’ll be. ‘When destiny calls you, you must be strong. I may not be with you, but you’ve got to hold on’. Even if she won’t be with you in a time of danger, you have o be strong. Protect yourself. Live on. Never give up. Be the best Lambo you can be to make her proud. Whether she’s away, or if she’s passed away because of being affiliated with the mafia, she’ll always be with him, watching over him. She’ll be watching over his shoulder, nudging him along.

Here I am (Bryan Adams- Spirit movie) - ‘This song reminds me of Lambo-chan’. This song is something that she thinks may line up with his feelings. It’s like a plea for the older guys to notice him. Here he is. Don’t forget me. Don’t leave me behind. I am here. Bring me along so I can be with you guys. The ‘journey’ has just begun. I guess this is a song that she things may be more relevant as he grows a bit older and is a bit stronger. Maybe she’ll show him this song as a motivational kind of thing. Being with the Vongola is where you want to be. This is what you’ve strove so hard for. You are still young, there is much to learn and new things to try out. Every day can be new with a new plan. It’s a new journey to discover yourself.

To be honest, she puts a lot of uplifting or motivational kind of songs into this playlist. Anything that makes her feel like, ‘yes i’ll watch over you,’ it’ll go into the playlist. Sometimes when she listens to them and truly listens to the lyrics and everything, she cries.

#Temposalta #Fatenet meme #notfatenet #meme answered #answered ask #Thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #((I cried real tears while doing this.))#((This is my first playlist thing and I hope I did okay. Did I do this right?))#((I have one more to go and I hope it stays that way. This was really hard and ughhh))#((I'm also just suffering a headache because of the REAL TEARS))

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