#I will take ANY OPPORTUNITY TO RANT ABOUT THIS TEA

[sexilene]

I FEIN FOR A FULL FIC ABOUT PRINCESS!READER WRITTING IN HER DIRAY S'SO CUTE LIKE

yeesss OFC!! ignore any mistakes sorrriii ˚ ༘✶ ｡˚ ⁀➷ princess!reader w - mentions of sex, p in v, rafe making it up to you through sleepy sex!!

your nighttime self-care routine sometimes included needing to write in your diary the things you wouldn't dare say out loud. you sat on your side of the bed with the dim warm light illuminating the room while rafe took a shower. often doing all your skincare, shower stuff, and oral care before rafe so that after you can let it all marinate before sleeping. you grab your pink fluffy pen from your nightstand to start your journaling. 

dear diary, today was so totally not great, rafe ended up leaving me this morning to play golf with the boys even after he promised to take me to martino's to get some tea cakes that i've been craving for the past week!! AND on top of that, i missed a hair appointment since rafe had the car all day and he's like my boyfriend chauffeur!! this blows!! i hate him and he will not be given kisses or sex until further notice. 

rafe walks out of the bathroom, with a towel around his waist, his hair all wet, and droplets of water running down his muscles. the view almost makes you forget why you were pissed at him in the first place, but then you quickly snap out of it when you remember you are supposed to be "ranting" in your diary. 

"whatcha doin'?" rafe asks, making you look over at him, he's put on some comfy pajama pants and sat down on his side of the bed, leaning over to look at what you are writing. 

"i'm doing self-care, it's my de-stress diary." 

"why do you need a diary? that's what i'm here for, tell your secrets to me." he shrugs and leans closer to really read what's on the pages. 

"nuh uh, somethings i would say aren't lady-like." you bring the diary to your chest to prevent him from reading it. 

"hey, lemme see. i'm basically entitled to read your diary, it's a boyfriend's right."

"no baby that's just an invasion of privacy." you giggle which makes him huff.

"okay well we promised no secrets, so give it here." he reaches for the diary, you roll your eyes and give up, handing it to him. 

"fine, but i should not be held accountable for what i wrote, its girl stuff."

"aww shit baby, i forgot about martino's, i'm sorry," he remembers as he beings to read what you wrote. "no sex or kisses until further notice? that's fuckin' ridiculous kid." he furrows his eyebrows while he's reading. 

"mm-hmm, it's not like you'd notice anyways since you've been so "busy" recently." you exaggerate and roll your eyes.

"don't roll your eyes at me, fix your attitude." he points at you scoldingly which only makes you pout and reach for the diary again. 

"if you think you really need this then fine, but no more talking shit about me in there. use your words." he closes the little book and hands it back to you. 

"i did." 

"you know what i mean." 

"i can't say it to your face." you shake your head and place the diary on your nightstand. 

"yes, you can." he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, your back to his bare chest. 

"you smell really good." you sigh, wishing you could just give in and climb on top of him.

"thank you, baby. so do you." he kisses your bare shoulder, slipping down the thin strap of your silky nightgown. 

"but i'm still mad at you."

"rant to me then."

you sigh again, "you forgot that today was supposed to be our day, you suck and if you really loved me you wouldn't have done that." you exaggerate again. 

"i know princess, i know, and i'm sorry but i do love you so don't even start." your boyfriend chides, look back at him and he takes the opportunity to kiss the corner of your mouth. 

"no rafe, no kissing."

"don't be brat, i'll make it up to you. take you to martino's first thing tomorrow and i'll take you to do your hair, how'bout i fuck you to sleep nice n' slow right now? hmm?" he places his hand on the side of your face to bring you closer so he can press a kiss to your cheek. 

"mmhm ohkay, be gentle." you nod, rafe just grins and attacks you with soft kisses all over your lips, jaw and neck.

"just relax baby, lay down i'll do all the work." rafe extends his arm to reach over to your nightstand light to turn it off, now the only light coming in is the moonlight streaming in through the balcony windows. you lay back against the mattress, head hitting the pillows and rafe lifts the thin dress above your hips. never really wearing panties under your nightgown while you sleep, he rubs your bare pussy with the pads of two of his big fingers. rafe pulls himself out, also not wearing any boxers under the plaid pajama pants to sleep, and lines himself up to slowly push in, you wine and dig your nails into his biceps. 

"shshsh....you're fine." your boyfriend soothes as he begins to slowly and gently stretch you out, giving you a few wet kisses on your neck. the way he smells and feels on top of you makes you feel so warm and sleepy, that your eyes begin to fall closed as he thrusts into you very softly.

"i love you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck to make you feel closer to him even though he's balls deep inside you right now. 

"i love you more princess, jus' fall asleep, i've got you."

[hisui-dreamer]

harveston's warmth

Characters: Jade, Idia, Sebek, Epel, Jamil

Synopsis: Your lover notices you're cold while looking around in the Harveston market, how does he help warm you up?

Tags: spoilers for Harveston Event, warming up, fluff

Word count: 901

Notes: i was craving warming up scenarios the whole time i was reading the event, so here's our Harveston bois being super fluffy!

Masterlist

Jade's like a child in a candy store running around from stall to stall looking at what interesting plants they have

once he notices you're shivering though, he drops everything and makes you his first priority

he's a bit frustrated at himself given his low body temperature can't warm you up

his touch would be ice cold, so he's careful to not accidentally chill you

he can't physically warm you, but his affection does wonders

gets you warm drinks and the mushroom soup to help maintain your body warmth

takes off some of his outer layers to give you more insulation

analyses your every move to see if you're improving

definitely goes and learns warming spells after the trip to make sure he's well equipped to take care you next time

might also tease you by placing a cold hand on your neck haha

Jade's eyes narrow as he notices your shivering, before quickly springing into action. "My pearl, I can see you're feeling cold," he says with concern. "Come, let's get you warmed up. Just hold on a little longer, and I'll make sure you're cozy in no time," his cold lips press against your forehead, but the heat that rises to your cheeks warms your heart.

Idia is a bit sensitive to the cold, but with enough cold gear he's fine

i mean his hair is fire, he's not that cold

he's imprinting every single detail of the market to memory and noting what similarities there are between the anime and real life

when he sees you shivering, he gets a bit worried

temperature causes health damage after all

quietly buys you apple ginger tea, the statistically most efficient drink for warming up

and might just stand closer to you and radiate his hair body heat for you

he's too shy to be openly affectionate in public so cut him some slack

the next day, he's giving you a small portable heater he built from scraps he found

you can't freeze to death on him now, okay?

"Hey... uh, it looks like your temperature bar is dropping," Idia mutters with a concerned look. "Let's quickly buff up your warmth stat and get you back in the comfort zone ASAP before you take health damage!"

he's also freezing

distracting himself from the cold by thinking about malleus

then he notices you're also cold

he has an excuse now

takes you to the bonfire for you to warm up, but it's just the two of you, side by side, gloves off, hands in the air trying to get some warmth from the flames

it's kind of endearing really

inches closer to you to try and offer his own body heat

if you get him to rant about malleus, his face will get warm from how passioned he is trust me

gets you a hot drink but only because he was already getting one, okay human?

might hold hands blushingly hehe

or if he's feeling bold, hugsss

would also suggest going on brisk walks to generate body heat

"No one can warm you up better than me, human!" Sebek exclaims, his chest puffed with pride. "It's my duty as your lover to keep you comfortable." There's that smug glint in his eyes that always makes you smile.

he's so excited to show off harveston to you!

his favourite person in the world, at his hometown, his favourite place in the world

as the tour guide, he notices you're cold rather quickly

takes you to a good spot to sit by the bonfire

once your comfortable, he'll go and get any warm drinks you want

definitely huddles closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to share his body warmth

takes off his gloves and slides his hand into your glove!!!

many tricks to get warm from him, given he had to grow used to it

uses this as an opportunity for you to try all sorts of harveston cuisine

he's so so happy to be able to take care and provide for you

"Aw shucks, looks like ya need some warmth, sugar cube!" Epel says with a gentle smile. "Lemme fetch ya a hot cuppa cocoa or some warm soup. I'll make sure ya stay warm and toasty, no matter what it takes. You can count on me!"

Jamil is a bit sensitive to the cold, but he's used to it given the chilly nights of the scalding sands

so he's doing okay in the harveston cold, not entirely warm, but not uncomfortably cold

and the excitement of travelling has him more excited and energised anyways

with how observant he is, he notices how you've become all quite and how you're shivering slightly

he can't give you some of his layers, so he'll drag you into the market to get some warm drinks

also just walking in crowds can heat you up with a bit

gets you apple ginger tea because he knows the medicinal properties ginger has to warm up

very very attentive and blows at your drink to make sure you won't burn your tongue

really, he's not fairing very well himself, but he's putting in a lot of effort to make sure you're comfortable

"You really should speak up when you're not feeling too well, you know?" Jamil sighs, smiling wryly. He extends his hand toward you. "Follow me, I know just the thing to get you warmed up."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[writercole]

on the note of scott wanting kids, how many would he realistically want/how much of a dealbreaker would it be for him if his partner didn’t want any/not as many? also that man would go CRAZY as a secret girl dad. like he would pretend to hate it but he would absolutely cave if she wanted him to do one of those stupid daddy daughter tik tok trends but do it with absolutely zero outward enthusiasm (he likes to feel needed so he’ll do it even if he never admits it). he’s so wrapped around her finger so his most said words now are “don’t tell your mother i let you do this.”

Realistically, he's got the picket fence dream - One boy, one girl. But he knows his life and his career are tough sells so no amount is a "deal breaker."

In the quartet, he's got all boys. But Scott as a girl dad? WATCH. OUT.

He shows up to work with neon pink fingernails and gives interns the death stare if they say anything.

Javi has 'blackmail' photos of him in tiaras and tutus at tea parties.

His heart breaks a little when she starts dating. She's no longer "Daddy's little girl" and he knows the eventuality of it. Two weeks later, she's crying in his arms because the boy broke up with her and he's silently vowing that he'll murder the kid.

Wifey talks him down, of course.

But that starts a post-breakup ritual. They go on a late night snack run for ice cream, chocolate, and stupid amounts of junk food. He listens to her rant and rave and cry. The next day, they go have a daddy-daughter day. Shopping, movies, facials, manicures, and, of course, dinner. He's the happiest he's ever been. His face remains stoney.

Then comes the tiktok phase. People learned from the nail polish not to mention it. Except Javi, who ribs him for being such a grinch about it and stealing the joy from the video. He accepts it, knowing that these moments with his daughter are special and he wouldn't trade them for anything. Especially when she begs him to do another because it got so much interaction.

The day he learns of her engagement, he is torn. His little girl is no longer a little girl. She doesn't need him anymore, not that she ever needed him to begin with. He won't know of her problems and he won't be given the opportunity to fix them.

But she's so happy, she's in love with this person, and there are no red flags that he can see.

Nothing changes between them. She still calls when she fights with her spouse. He still takes her out the next day. And while she's got someone to be there for her, she still needs her Dad when everything feels like it's falling apart. He can fix it. He always has.

Tagging my favorite Dad!Scott hoes again: @ryebecca @hederasgarden @a-reader-and-a-writer

[softguarnere]

HEY BABY GIRL!!!!

It's your girl, your sweet cheese, your good time gal (someone please shut me up omfg). Now...you know i am a Joe Toye lover, and if you've seen me recently...he is the only man on my mind. I was wondering if you might indulge me a little with a Joe Toye x reader where they're besties since young and both end up being paratroopers together but then something happens and he thinks he's lost her but she's actually fine and maybe like fluffy reunion...idk tbh i'd take anything you write and eat it up so do whatever. Love youuuuu xx

Seven

Joe Toye x reader

A/N: OMG BELLA I MISSED YOU!!!! 💖 WELCOME BACK BABE! And of course we have a fic with a T Swift reference for you hehehe (This is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Thanks so much for the request, and I hope you like this 💕 Warnings: mentions of war, death

You would kill him if you knew where he was right now. And yet, here he is. Trying to reassure and comfort your mother while sipping coffee from her finest set of teacups. The same teacups, he’s now realizing, that you used to serve him water in as children, calling it tea while the two of you played house, discussing the workplace as if you had any idea what went on there, while the adults around you struggled through the lack of those very places during the thirties. It could just be a coincidence, but after spending most of his life around her, Joe Toye would like to think that he knows your mother better than that.

“And you know how hardheaded she is,” your mother is ranting, cutting a fresh slice of poundcake and placing it on Joe’s plate. “She isn’t going to listen to me. Or anyone for that matter, now that her mind is made up.”

Oh, Joe knows exactly how hardheaded you are. In no small part thanks to the times that he accidentally clobbered that very head during neighborhood football games.

“(Y/N) feels good about this, Mrs. (Y/L/N),” Joe says, unsure of what he’s supposed to say during your mother’s hour of need. She’s right, after all – your mind has been made up, and it will not be changed.

“But do you?” Your mother fixes him with a hard gaze, raised brow and all.

You were with Joe when he went to enlist. He had watched your eyes sparkle when they fell onto the sign stating that women should inquire within about an exciting new opportunity that would allow them to serve their country like never before. And he had been by your side when you both left the building, both holding papers and smiling at the thought that you would be becoming paratroopers – together.

“Yes. (Y/N) is strong. She’ll be good in – “

“Joesph,” your mother interrupts. The façade finally falls as she collapses into the chair across the table from him, head in her hands. “She’s my baby! What if something – oh, God forbid! – happens to her? I couldn’t live with myself.”

Joe is by her side in an instant. When he announced that he was joining the Airborne, everyone had clapped him on the back and congratulated him. You have not had the same experience. While everyone keeps assuring Joe that he’ll do great things, the same people have been cautioning you to be careful. Some have even warned you that you should just give up now. And it’s all only served to strengthen your determination, with every underestimation making you more sure that this is what needs to be done.

All that is to say, Joe has no clue what to say to your mother. She needs to be comforted. But he’s out of his depth.

“I’ll watch out for her,” he finally manages.

Beneath the comforting hand that Joe has placed on her shoulder, your mother freezes. Watery eyes gaze up at him. “You – you will?”

“Of course.” The two of you have grown up together. You’ve always been friends. Why would he stop looking out for you now?

Your mother throws her arms around his neck, wrapping him up in a tight hug. “Oh, thank you!”

Joe is struggling to come up with something more to say when the sound of the front door opening and shutting saves him. Your footsteps echo through the front of the house as you call out in greeting.

“Ma! I’m home!” Stepping into the kitchen, you cross your arms, leaning onto the doorframe as you let out a loud sigh. “Wow, you would almost think that Joe is the child that you’re sending off to war instead of me.” You smile, and anyone could see how much you love your mother.

She wipes her teary eyes and pats Joe’s arm as he stands, returning to his seat. “I’m going to miss having someone around who doesn’t get into trouble all the time,” she teases as she cuts a slice of poundcake for you.

Something about the change of topic tells Joe that she would rather not have you find out about their conversation. His watching over you can be their little secret. And a job that he’ll readily accept.

After all, he tells himself as he watches you laugh at something your mother says. You would do the same for him.

--

The adrenaline from taking Brécourt Manor still hasn’t worn off yet. Joe is laughing at something that Guarnere said as they head back down the road. Something about this moment makes him feel invincible. This is why he chose to become a paratrooper, he realizes.

More men and women have congregated in the town since he’s been gone. Finally glancing at his watch reveals that he’s been gone most of the day. Wow, really? It didn’t feel like the assault took that long at all. At least it kept him busy, instead of sitting around here, waiting.

Joe scans the crowd, hoping to catch sight of you. When he doesn’t immediately spot you, he stops one of the other female paratroopers as she passes.

“Hey, Lilian. You seen (Y/N) around?”

Lilian pauses, her pretty green eyes widening slightly. “Oh. No.” She bites her lip, holding back something more.

“What is it?” Joe presses.

Her hesitation is not a good sign. Then she blurts out, “No one has seen her since the jump.”

“You mean – “

“She was supposed to be in my drop zone – but she wasn’t.”

The reality of it all sets in. (Y/N) didn’t reach the drop zone. Did she even make it out of the plane? God, he promised your mother that he would look out for you. Yet, here he is, with no clue where you might be.

He may have only just reached Europe, but he’s already failed his mission.

--

The dust is settling over Carentan when the incongruous cheer and subsequent peel of laughter hits Joe’s ears. Somewhere off in the distance, someone is celebrating. Meanwhile, he’s guarding Doc Roe as the medic moves along the streets, inspecting the bodies strewn over them to see if there’s anybody still alive that he can help.

“Thanks for doing this,” Roe says as he stands once more, moving on to another body.

“Hmm?” Joe snaps his attention back to the moment at hand. “Oh, no problem.”

Except there is a problem. He’s trying to catch a glimpse of every face as Doc Roe checks the bodies. He tries to make out names on dog tags, dreading that one of them might belong to you. He couldn’t stand it if he found you here, like this. What would he tell your mother? How would he ever erase that awful image from his mind? Of the little girl that he once played house with, lying motionless on these cold streets? It’s no better to imagine you going down in a plane doing a fiery corkscrew as it nosedives to the unforgiving soil of a foreign land. But at least he didn’t have to see that.

The terrible job done, he follows Roe back to the rest of the company. Despite everything that just happened, a few smiles can be expected, along with congratulatory words. But this is more than that.

A small group of men mill about, talking, smiling, as they watch a smaller group of the female paratroopers huddled together in a group, all talking loudly and looking excited. From the corner of his eye, he can see Doc Roe glance at him, but before the medic can ask what’s going on, the crowd parts and Joe freezes.

There, in the middle of it all, is you.

“(Y/N)?” It comes out louder than he means for it to, and his feet are already carrying him, double time, in your direction before he realizes what he’s doing.

You look up, your eyes widening. “Joe!” You launch yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him in close.

Something rushes through Joe’s chest like a flash of lightning, too many feelings at once. There’s shock, relief, and something that he can’t quite name. Not caring about getting written up for fraternizing, Joe hugs you back, holding you close, lest you slip away from him again.

“Jesus Christ. I thought I lost you,” he says into your hair.

“I’m fine, as usual. Can’t believe you would doubt me like that.” Your voice is light, teasing, but your grip on him tightens. The usual confident swagger doesn’t leave your voice, but you admit in a quieter voice, “I, uh – I missed my drop zone. Had a hell of a time trying to find the rest of the company. But here I am!”

When the embrace ends, Joe still isn’t ready to let go. He leaves his hands on your shoulders, studying you. And you, for your part, hold onto his webbing. “I was just worried about you, is all.”

You nod. “I was worried about you, too. I – “

“Easy Company!” A booming voice interrupts. “We’re moving out!”

Quickly, while everyone is distracted, you raise yourself up on your tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. Heat rushes to Joe’s cheeks. He feels his eyes widen. You just smile at him, casual as can be.

“We’ve been friends since we were seven. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Joseph.” Then, you rejoin your friends, leaving him to replay the scene over and over in his mind.

He turns to watch you go, unable to move his feet from where they suddenly appear to be stuck to the ground. He’s held in place by the weight of his realization – the emotion that he couldn’t name was love, for you.

[hencheri]

Just came here after the asks sent on that tea blog and girl aren't you just a hypocrite?

ranting about me on a BTS tea blog is beyond me. literally saying my works are good and then shitting on me for not deleting fics that AREN’T featuring taeil?

you pretend to have the highest morals, yet all you’ve been doing is hating me for defending a victim. what is wrong with you? how little empathy do you have to act in such a hateful way? like, you’re telling me I shouldn’t have speak out and show my support for the victim?

you are the very first people to consume my content and turn around and call me a hypocrite. you admit reading my stuff and enjoying it. but when I support a real life victim that has been assaulted by an ex-member of a group I stan, now I’m wrong? this person who was attacking me in my inbox clearly didn’t give a single shit about the situation and just wanted a reason to pick on me. I wrote three whole fucking paragraphs speaking my mind and how it is important to support survivors of SA even when the abuser is someone famous. regardless of my content, that is entirely fictional btw, I have the capability of understanding the severity of the situation and show basic fucking empathy to women which none of you are doing because look how you’re acting. this is disgusting.

I don’t even understand why someone’s first reaction would be to send anonymous asks to a blog about BTS creators (totally unrelated to me) after I said I didn’t support taeil in any way. I don’t get how you can pretend be on the victim’s side and care about them when all that’s on your mind is picking on me, a stranger on the internet you don’t even know. I am not the only nct writer here. Why am I getting shit on for having fics about WayV and 2 other nct members that I repeat aren’t taeil. There are so many nct writers and as far as I know they didn’t take down their mark fics or jaehyun fics for example because they aren’t fucking involved in a sex crime. Taeil is.

leave me alone, I hurt nobody and I’m sick of people taking any opportunity to turn it into a fight.

[ssreeder]

I saw that other ask about Zuko ending up firelord in LIAB and I'd just like to add on to that my thoughts abt it in the original show- was it just me or did it feel really out of character for Iroh to try and push Zuko into a major leadership role at 16?? Like how did he possibly think that was a good idea, what with all the seriously heavy burdens that it would bring on to Zuko? Not to mention Zuko has had barely any chance to be a regular teenager for a second throughout the show, what with the 3 year banishment and then he's immediately pushed to be firelord.. Also the fact that firelord feels really unfitting for Zuko?? He's shown to not be a good leader. I feel like coming out of a 3 year banishment and awful childhood I don't think he'd want to be surrounded by constant reminders of his abusive father and not to mention be in the same role his *abusive father* was in... Sorry for the impromptu and slightly incomprehensible rant... this is still one of my biggest gripes in the show. Btw your writing is wonderful and im so excited for the next chapter of LIAB! Have a great day :D

Hiiii!! (here is another impromptu & very incomprehensible rant)

I think Zuko would have been a good fire lord if he was given the proper training & support. But I have to say I think it was completely in character for iroh to do that to Zuko…

I enjoy iroh but I think his character is EXTREMELY flawed & his way of helping zuko develop from a young angry hurt 13 year old boy could have been handled a lot better. Yeah yeah he isn’t zukos dad but he signed up to mentor and be there for Zuko so he could have mentored him a little more. (a lot more - I don’t think is was likely Zuko had any growth from 13-16 because he was pretty awful at season 1 and disrespected everyone including iroh and was in so much denial about his situation it was SCARY)

I could go on & on about iroh and his missed opportunities with zuko but I think irohs “Zuko will overcome and he is good inside” way of thinking is what prompted him to plop his teenage nephew on that throne even though he was like 3 days into his redemption (ok yeah it was maybe a month? Idk but not very long). The anger, sadness, self doubt, unhealthy coping mechanisms were all still there - but iroh is very…. ‘He’s got this I believe in him’

Even if it means zukos going to struggle and stumble over himself and work extra hard to try and be a good leader with (let’s face it) almost no healthy leadership experience. (5 minutes into being aangs fire bending trainer he is yelling at him. his idea of how to get aang to take training more seriously is to attack him - yeah let’s give him a fucking country! Yiiipeeeeeeee)

If iroh cared about Zuko he would hang up his tea uniform, take his RIGHTFUL place as fire lord and have Zuko become his crowned prince and start learning how to be fire lord while UNCLEEEEE took the initial burden of becoming fire lord right after the war. But nahhhh let’s invent boba or whatever he was fucking doing in BSS

*deep breath* sorry… I promise I LIKE iroh… I just….. DISAGREE with his methods.

Sorry about my rant anon haha

[scary-movies-on-netflix]

IN THE EARTH (2021)

Sometime in the near future an English dude shows up at a forest preserve to perform some research.  There’s a pandemic going on.  The dude is Martin.  I haven’t seen him in any horror movies before, but he was in a delightful comedy called “Bank of Dave” (2023).  Anywho, a ranger, Alma, is tasked with taking him to the distant campsite of the scientist Martin is going to work with.  We last saw Alma in “Midsommar” (2019).  She was half of the couple where the dude just decided to leave without telling anyone, including his girlfriend. She says that doesn't make any sense, and the Swedes drive her away to join him, but they are both killed!

Alma and Martin proceed through the forest.  They come across an empty campsite, because apparently people escape the locked-down cities to go camping.  The second night, whilst sleeping, they are viciously attacked!  The next morning, as they recover, they see that most of their equipment has been stolen or destroyed, and their shoes have also been taken.  They trek painfully through the forest, and Martin cuts his foot.

They come across Zach, a dude living in the forest.  He takes them into his camp and cleans and stitches Martin’s foot.  Then he gives them a tasty tea, which is actually drugged!  While they are unconscious, Zach dresses them up in white tarp clothing and arranges them ritualistically so that he can photograph them with an old film camera.  When they come to, he rants crazily at them about a being in the forest, whom he worships through images. 

He drugs them again, but apparently with a smaller dose.  Zach looks over Martin’s foot and tells him it’s infected.  Martin asks to be taken to a hospital, but instead Zach chops off two toes (the little ones) with an axe!  Zach next carries Martin out of the room, and Alma takes the opportunity to grab a little knife that Zach has dropped.  She frees herself, squirts some film chemicals into Zach’s eyes, and then drops a film enlarger on him.  She frees Martin, but Zach then chases them with a bow.  Some stuff happens, and Martin ends up in some forest area filled with speakers and strobe lights, and a figure rushes out to retrieve him.  It’s the scientist they were originally looking for, Olivia!  Zach passes out, or something, and gives up the chase.  Alma arrives to join Martin.

The next day Olivia cleans up Martin’s wounds.  Her camp is built near a stone cairn, or dolmen, whatever.  Olivia found reference to the forest in the seminal book about witches and witchcraft, the Malleus Malificarum.  Now, using lights and speakers, she’s trying to speak to the forest, including the mycorrhiza (the fungal network that connects most of any given forest).  She was apparently working with Zach, but he went too far and became crazy!  Alma seems suspicious, especially in that Zach could probably come into Olivia’s camp at any time, and she wants to leave as soon as possible.  The following day the entire camp is surrounded by a mist of fungal spores!  Alma puts on a hazmat suit and tries to make it past the mist, but she starts hallucinating and freaks out!  Olivia and Martin drag her back to the camp, and Alma says, “It’s not what you think…it is not a human.”

As night approaches, it seems that the fungal mist is slowly approaching the camp.  They suddenly see Zach under the trees in the distance!  Olivia goes to speak to him.  She comes back, and apparently he’s explained that to escape the forest they need to perform some sort of “sacrament” involving the cairn so they can talk to it.  Olivia prepares some concoction of roots and mushrooms.  Alma is, naturlich, dubious.  She asks, “What do you think it wants to tell you?”  Olivia suggests that the forest wants to speak about how trees and humanity can peacefully coexist.  “You keep talking about this thing as if it’s human,” Alma says, “it’s not.”  She nonetheless goes along with the ritual.

Alma and Martin go to the cairn.  Martin drinks the concoction.  Alma goes to check on one of the strobe lights, but then she smacked in the face by Zach!  Zach goes to Martin, who he is going to sacrifice!  Alma goes back to the camp and sneaks into Olivia’s secret tent.  Inside, Olivia is surrounded by a bunch of Zach’s pictures, because she is also cuckoo for Coco Puffs!  (Did I mention earlier that she and Zach were married at one point?  And that she was also in a relationship with Martin?)  Olivia looks crazily at Alma and rushes at her with a knife, but Alma disarms Olivia and begins to beat the shit out of her.  Zach hears the fight over the speakers and heads into camp to help Olivia.  Alma bonks him on the head, and then he shoves her over.  He pulls out a knife to stab her.  She grabs a tent peg and stabs him in the eye!  Zach staggers about a bit and asks to be taken to a hospital, but instead Alma pushes the tent peg further into his brain and kills him. 

Meanwhile, Olivia has recovered and heads to the cairn to finish off Martin, for the ritual.  Alma runs after her and they fight over him.  Everyone then trips out, and we see past scenes from the movie and kaleidoscope-like images of the forest and nature.  Everyone comes to at daybreak.  Olivia falls to the ground and says, “Thank you.”  Martin is alive.  Alma stands over him and says, “Let me guide you out of the woods.”

This was good.  It reminded me of “Flora” (2017), another movie about a fungus-haunted forest.  We have elements of body horror, what with Martin having his toes chopped off and things being inserted into his body (by Zach).  There’s folk horror, as we start off with some ancient tales about the old forest, and Dr. Wendell drags out the Malleus Malificarum, so we might also have a witch movie. Finally, we have some good old-fashioned cosmic horror, but our eldritch beings are not outer gods, but actually fungi.  Olivia, in her snooty and condescending manner, informs Alma that they’ll have a nice conversation about how to live sustainably on the earth.  Alma reasonably responds that fungi aren’t humans.  How are you supposed to “talk” to a form of life that doesn’t think (like us, at least) and experiences the world in an entirely different way than we do?  In the end it doesn’t really matter, for the fungus is mostly a freaky deus ex machina, swooping in to save the humans from the horrors and cruelty they inflict on each other in the name of spirituality.

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: I'm procrastinating again from professional writing, so I'll take the opportunity of you being uncomfortable with "God Ships It" to do my rant. When I started attempting to read GO fanfic, I was startled by how...panicked?...it is about the source material. The panic is most obvious when it comes to dealing with any of Crowley's character flaws--this is a fandom that gets very sentimental about how cruel Crowley might be to his plants, but then does a Bentley-sized swerve when it comes to how cruel Crowley is to /Aziraphale/ when he /successfully/ manipulates him into trying to kill the Antichrist for him--but it also comes out in its treatment of religion.

The irony of post-S2 fanfic is that pre-S2 fanfic overwhelmingly endorses Aziraphale's attitude to Heaven (without realizing it). That is, it implicitly or explicitly assumes that Heaven has become warped in the absence of God, and that the presence of God Herself (or Himself, in the novel) would provide the "good" alternative. Heaven, that is, can be reformed if the real authority would just stand up. Moreover, there are multiple fics that really do assume that being an angel is better than being a demon because angelic grace means they are still in touch with the divine, and there are even fics that posit how great it would be if Crowley were reinstated to angelic status. "God ships it" rests on the assumption that the GO God is "good," that His/Her "shipping" is beneficent and rooted in care specifically for the protagonists (particularly if it proves to be part of the ineffable plan), and that His/Her imprimatur is desirable and necessary.

None of these assumptions are supported by the novel or series. (I keep wanting to write "Source for this claim?" in the margins.) Gaiman inadvertently sets the stage for "God ships it" by making God the narrator in S1, but "God reports it" is not the same as "God ships it." More to the point, both the novel and the series reject the terms of Pascal's Wager: if we cannot be assured of the existence of God or the nature of God's will, GO responds, then the correct course of action is to locate moral authority "on the ground," as it were, in human communities, and to proceed as if /God does not exist./ (Anathema burning the second book of prophecies is a case in point.) Moreover, in the series we are shown repeatedly that God's actions violate human (and angelic and demonic) moral norms, particularly in repeated sacrifices of children, and viewers are not invited to side with God! There is no evidence that the GO God is good, or loving, or even fundamentally decent in a way that can be articulated in terms of earthly morality. God's ways are incomprehensible, which is why, as I said before, attempts to do theology in GO-verse don't arrive at anything coherent. There is certainly no sign that God thinking you're a great person is going to do wonders for you (see: Job). And after seeing what God either causes to happen directly or allows to happen by withdrawing, there are no circumstances under which centering the protagonists' love lives makes God look any better. ("Isn't it amazing that all the horrors of the past several millennia had to happen just so Aziraphale and Crowley could be in love?") Finally, the "shipping" suggests that it is /desirable/ that the characters' love be divinely authorized or that they should be outright directed into a relationship by providential means, even though GO is all about the centrality of free will and the necessity of learning how to choose. So...no.

hey, look LWA; far be it for me to tell you how to spend your breaks in between work but i do have to question your decision that any part of that break is spent delivering Hot Tea to my inbox - but im never going to complain about it, rant away!!!✨ (also - hope the writing is going well, procrastination or no!!!)

it does make me uncomfortable for this one simple reason:

"god does not play dice with the universe. i play an ineffable game of my own devising."

so look - i know it's literally god speaking. she can do as she pleases, whatever. but to think that she tampers with her best and yet most ironic invention truly unnerves me - that she takes free will, and manipulates it to her design - and even more alarming is that that design is completely unknown and unknowable to anyone other than her. honestly, it's this kind of thought that makes me steer well clear of any religious leanings personally; people will make decisions and will mess them up and will succeed with them, but the thought that those occurrences were "god's will", or down to a higher power... well, it's not a good feeling, in my opinion. extrapolate that thought to any real life scenario as you will.

but in any case, to apply this to GO gives me the same sense of unease. i have still the thought that there is going to be a clear, definitive line between the great plan and the ineffable plan in the narrative. that seems to have been set up very firmly in s1, and arguably becomes way more understated yet elaborated on in s2 (job and resurrectionist minisodes) until the end when metatron mentions the second coming. id absolutely love for it to be a huge narrative point in s3 again; the ultimate long-con chekhovs gun metaphorically jamming, backfiring, and spraying shrapnel all over the place.

but which is worse? a great plan that at the very least almost everyone of influence in heaven, including aziraphale if you hypothesise based on his knowing of the plans for the humans/earth in the pre-fall scene, has seen or at least seen bits of, and now presumably will work to ensure will come to pass because they know better than to question something metaphorically written in stone? an awful concept at face value, fulfilling prophecy, but at least you'd know what you're getting - you're buying what's advertised. i got rather ensconced in looking up some biblical stuff the other night, thinking about something similar to this, and:

And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. (Matthew 24:6 - KJV)

that is terrifying, even if you take into account "the end is not yet", because that is ominous as all hell. but is it more terrifying that the ineffable plan, that is controlled and shaped and enacted by only one entity, cannot be questioned or challenged until it has already come to pass? that it is not of even questionable morality, but unknowable morality? god does not play dice, because that would be fairer - that would leave things up to chance... free will. instead she is playing by something only she knows, only she can control. so in that first quote, i interpret that she is either directly or indirectly telling the audience not to trust her and her actions. maybe god is self-aware, maybe not. she's ineffable.

so, even if the great plan is awful and inevitable, is it better to anticipate exactly what's coming? better the devil you know? either way, between the two, you're actually caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. that's the whole dilemma, the whole point, i know. but this is where i come to the "god ships it" trope: i originally thought that aziraphale and crowley being a part (and possibly inadvertently cocking up) the ineffable plan by way of their love story would be a great plot device - until i realised that, to be honest, that would a) feel like lazy writing with very little nuance to be had, and b) directly contradict my whole thought process on free will.

i do think they're involved in the ineffable plan, have a stake and place in it. i don't think, in some way, that there's any way they can't be. but it would have to be for god's benefit (ie whatever conclusion for the world she's currently got running on standby mode), and i don't think god, being what/who she is, would be able to understand love like that. she might foresee it, being omniscient and all, but what would she know about it? love is something to be felt, and that kind of love (unless GO is going to take a very weird turn) is not something she could ever experience. she sees it, sure, in her creations, but that's not knowing it.

so no, i don't think god has any place in the relationship between aziraphale and crowley. if anything, her mere existence is the ultimate barrier to it, through crowley's resentment, hurt, and anger, and in aziraphale's naivety, blind faith, and own brand of god complex. to give her seal of approval to any of it would be redundant anyway; it wouldn't change anything, it doesn't prove anything, and it immediately questions whether the characters choosing to have a relationship of any kind is of their own free will or was predetermined and inevitable. so, no, thank you.

i would like to think god is good - because if there is a higher power, you just have to hope that they don't have it out for you, right? - but logically she just... is. arguably, she is beyond morality, and arguably she is both good and bad. she makes bets with satan to test the faith in her most loyal faithful - which again, it might have been the great plan to make job suffer, but equally it might have been the ineffable plan for aziraphale and crowley to thwart it at great risk, sacrifice, and pain to their psyches... frankly, it's fucked either way you slice it.

(and it does make me wonder about why this appears to be the last that we actually see of god's 'physical' presence in heaven so far...)

furthermore, the issue in the resurrectionists; not even just aziraphale's alarming speech completely disregarding inequality as a means of arriving at a ridiculous point about morality, but - did god have a hand in having aziraphale and crowley come across elspeth and morag, leading to aziraphale starting to question what right and wrong is (rather unsuccessfully, he swings between redefining the two like a sodding metronome)? and equally have a hand in morag's death, that made aziraphale potentially retreat back to his usual standby of exalting in god's power and mercy? but leads to elspeth being able to live a better life? unknown, but this possibility does indicate that no, she isn't good, and she isn't bad, she's just playing a game that has an equal chance for the rest of us as being a good or bad move (insomuch that only she knows what game and rules she's playing - schrödingers chess move, really).

that's why aziraphale's decision at the end of s2 is so important to me. he spent the previous episode playing at being god, moving pieces around the board in a series of patterns as he pleased in order to reach the check, but having little regard for them in doing so - removing their free will and ability to think or feel or act independently, but equally whilst never at any intention of causing harm. does that make it okay? of course not - it's playing a game only he knows how to play.

so to then look at heaven as being something that he could change, should change - because he's being handed the opportunity - is meritable; he's not leaving it up to someone else, not following blind faith that "the almighty will fix it", he's choosing to be the change himself. and there's no confirmation at all that he's doing it to return it to what he considers to be god's original intention; as it stands, we have to assume that he's just going to fix/change/improve it for the wider benefit of everyone. but then again - is this fair? that at the top of heaven there will essentially only be aziraphale (not counting the metatron), and his vision, his decisions? perhaps that's why it was also so important to see that conference meeting in ep6 - it's not just the supreme archangel in charge; there is a precedent, however questionable the board of directors, of democracy in heaven.

lastly, just to touch on it: i think it would have been an interesting conundrum if crowley had accepted the restoration; whether it would have changed him, erased parts of him involuntarily, or if he would have remained as just crowley and used the opportunity to bring down the second coming and heaven's corruption from the inside. as it stands, we'll never know - but there never was any true characterisation reward to be had from making him an angel again, and it would have been a weird choice for him to make. the way it went down was exactly as their characters are and believe.

(putting this into a separate section because my mind just got a factory-reset by this point and my having a philosophy-realignment moment didn't really fit in any of the above very well):

it's really interesting to bring in pascal here, because i wouldn't have seen GO as rejecting it altogether on first glance (ie not contradicting you, just realigning my thought process). so... my initial thought is that GO eradicates at least half of the wager by confirmation that god exists, full stop (aaaand immediately going off on a long tangential thought of how different the story could be if we didn't have god as the narrator/no confirmation of god in the book other than in abstract, and therefore the pascal wager could theoretically apply - big yikes). removal of the dead-end outcomes leaves you with receiving either damnation, or eternal peace. but add in the element of ineffability, as you say, and the entire argument is rejected altogether... it makes sense to have GO reject such a binary argument, and the whole representation of agnes as being a stand-in personification (?) for god, in that respect, and anathema essentially rejecting her, carries so much more weight for me now... thats so cool to think about, thank you!!!✨

[almondmilkcleanser]

𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐒 ` ♡

■ ` ♡ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⥋ aki + denji + f!reader

□ ` ♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; its smut w/ degradation, manipulation and c*cksleeve behavior⥋ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈 

■ ` ♡ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⥋ 2.5 + k

□ ` ♡  𝐚/𝐧 ⥋ if you want a part two (which I may do anyway) let me know!

♥  buy me a choco chip kofi ? 

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It’s been 6 months since you’ve worked with the Devil Hunters and you haven’t been appointed any further than clerical work! It’s been an absolute bore having to reports of the Devils that were hunted by Denji, Aki and Power. You wanted a piece of the action too! The only thing that seemed to keep you from jumping off your work building was a secret forum shared amongst the women in your sector:

Tales of a Fallen Devil Hunter.

Included in this forum were, on the surface, harmless rants about working for the Devil Hunters. But from underneath the surface lied something even more enticing to the eyes. You were given a password to the private forums where a few anonymous users would share adult-themed stories between eachother on your favorite Devil Hunter. You went by the name “PolyAngel” and have also taken part in sharing your innermost fantasies on a few certain hunters; two being Aki and Denji. Well, those were the ones posted. You had a secret crush on Makima and wrote your own lucid fantasies about her on the sly in your drafts on your lunch break.

But your most recent work, Two Ribbons around One Finger, has been circulating through the forums like crazy! It went into detail of your recent fantasies, Denji and Aki using you incessantly to please their needs after a long day of devil hunting. Oral, fingering, masturbation, you included it all. You’ve even been messaged privately with readers begging for it to turn into a series. But little did they know, this was an active fantasy in your head that you kept stored in your memory every day.

You would see Denji walk by, mouth full of toast and his classic white sneakers with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe and your thoughts flooded out of your ears and onto the keyboard. You would spot Aki outside with a newspaper, his sword nestled on his lap and a piping cup of coffee latched around his fingers and your mind would wander to how it would look with you between his lap.

It was a pleasure with no guilt behind it. At least that’s what you told yourself.

You kept the forum open in an icognito tab on your work computer, refreshing the screen from time to time for any comments or emotive reactions from any readers. It was a slow day and you were the last one in the office for the day. You found it a great opportunity to write a little more of your 18+ Makima story that you finally convinced yourself to post tonight, and after describing how she feasted on your slippery cunt, you had to take a coffee break! You shot up from your desk, cheeks blazing hot and a slight tingle between your legs due to that last paragraph.

“Whatever,” you huffed. “I-I’ll just take a walk!”

—

The halls seemed eerily more quiet than what they usually were through the day. With your cup of milk tea in hand, you looked around to really take in the architecture of the building. Without a doubt, the echoes of your heels made it feel like you were walking through an abandoned corridor instead of a bustling Devil Hunter Headquarters.

“I know my readers are going to love this new chapter~” you giggled, sipping your milk tea carefully. You passed one of the many utility closets in your building, almost dismissing it before you saw a long piece of red string hanging out from underneath the doorway. How strange, you thought. You looked to the left, then to the right, it seemed to be nobody around to watch you as you bent over to investigate. Cautiously, you pulled the red string, thinking nothing of it. “Hmm,” you thought aloud, “Maybe if I pull it hard enough, it will pop and I can throw it away.” So with a yank, you felt a sudden change in weight, almost like something was on top of the string. With a determined look on your face, you yanked harder, but what you expected to happen just simply didn’t.

There was a pause, then the string pulled you closer to the door! What the hell! You tried to let go, but your hand was stuck to the fucking string! It encircled itself around your arm, growing a life of its own! In a blink, the door burst open into darkness, pulling you in and slamming the doors shut behind you!

“Ugh, what the hell!” It was dark, but you could feel this utility closet was bigger than normal ones. It almost echoed like a classroom! Dusting yourself off, you stood to your feet, reaching your hand out to find a wall to lean on, but instead you felt a warm chest.

“Ah!” You yanked your hand back, terrified.

“Ugh,” the voice sucked its teeth, clearly annoyed with you. “Why the hell do you have to be so loud?”

You knew this voice from somewhere but you couldn’t confidently attach it to someone.

“W-who are you?” You stammered in between shaky breaths. Barely able to gather your footing, it took you even further off guard when the same mystery voice yanked you up by your wrists, pulling you back to their chest, barely standing on your tippy toes.

With a suck of his teeth and a sniff of his nose, the lights flicked on and you were face to face with Denji. His eyes looked you over once, his lips curving downwards into an inquisitive frown.

“D-D-Denji! What are you doing here? And why are you holding me like this?” You could tell your question hit on something by the flinch of his eyebrow, but he wasn’t letting you go. In fact, you were crossing one foot over the other so you weren’t quite literally dangling in the air!

“Hm, she doesn’t seem to be the type to write stuff like that.” He said, peering down into your shirt, taking detail of the lacy bra peeking through the inseam.

“You sure I got the right one?” Who was he talking to? You turned your head only to be spun back around by Denji to look him in his eyes yet again. You couldn’t lie, seeing him upclose almost made you forget that your heart was fluttering in your ears, threatening to seep out onto the floor and leave you dead and dangling in the air!

“Yo!” Denji called out, looking over your shoulder with a sneer “Aki,” Aki!? “Did you hear me?”

“I heard you loud and clear, Denji. Maybe if you yell a little louder we can alert management that we’re here as well.”

“Wait a second!” You blushed, trying your hardest not to fumble over your words in such a vulnerable position. It was just your luck! Your normally the type to sport the usual, blouse and slacks, but you were feeling a little more confident today and opted to wear a skirt with black pantyhose underneath. The utility closet slash classroom must have had the AC on 62 as a chill crept up your legs, sending a sudden breeze in between the crotch of your pantyhose!

“It’s clear you have me mistaken with someone else!” Denji hmm’d at your response, calling silent bullshit.

“On the contrary, Y/N, I think we have the right one.” There was shuffling behind you, similar to that of someone taking off a large jacket, and then footsteps towards you.

“You see, Miss Y/N,” Denji fished his hand out of his pocket and placed it casually on your breasts, rubbing one of them in circular motions. You curved your back into a C away from Denji, only to be met by Aki’s strong chest directly behind you. Without announcement, he held your other wrist into the air as Denji handed over the one originally in his grasp.

“There’s been a rumor going around that someone has been writing dirty stories about us in the office and we did a little investigating. Only to find the most recent post dinging off the IP address in your office,” Aki lowered his hand to suckle on the base of your neck, nipping down at the skin just enough to make you squirm from the sensation. With Denji’s hands rhythmically rubbing your breasts, you tried your hardest to keep your composure, looking away in a flustered blush. You had to admit, you fantasized about this moment, swirling your fingers in your begging pussy night after night to the thought of these two having their way with you, but you couldn’t let them in on your secret!

“We even found the draft in your notes. For such a pretty girl, even I have to say that’s the stupidest fucking thing to write stuff like that on your work computer.”

“And with such imaginative detail,” Aki added, snaking his free hand underneath your skirt, cupping your plump behind over your pantyhose. Aki shook his head, releasing his grip on your newly bruised neck and ducked his teeth.

“Denji and I agreed that, instead of alerting Makima, we can give you a realistic perspective to add to your story.”

“What was the name of that story on her computer again, Denji?”

“Hmmm,” Denji used both of his hands to grip the sides of middle of your shirt, his pointed teeth glimmering in a perverse smile.

“Demon Hunter Cock Sleeve!” Pop pop pop pop pop! The buttons of your expensive work shirt scattered across the floor as Denji smiled at the sight in front of him.

“Man,” he whistled, “She has some beautiful tits, you think she’d let me suck them?” Denji’s boyish manner peeked over his hardened disposition, making Aki stare at him in annoyance.

“You don’t ask a cocksleeve for permission, idiot. That’s now how it works.” He scolded.

“Oh yeah!” His hands squeezed down on your breasts, sending a soft yelp out of your plushy lips. The both of them noticed how silent you were, looking away as the perverse flush spread across your body, upping your body temperature as Denji’s hands turned you on slowly but surely.

“Then how are you supposed to do it then, Aki?” Denji sneered.

Aki glared at Denji, a tinge of regret already seeping into his mind. He felt the heat between your legs mixed in with the sweet fragrance of your favorite perfume and instantly began to perk at attention. The truth of the matter was that Aki wanted you all to himself but seeing how the notes you so carelessly left open on your work computer left an increasingly descriptive visual aid of how you wanted the reader to feel all of her holes filled merciclessly to please the both of them, well, he knew you wouldn’t be opposed to sharing such a delicious meal between the two of them.

“You’re so stupid, I swear,” he breathed in a whisper behind you.

“Y/N.” Your ears perked up as he spoke your name, enunciating each syllable with a tinge of lust you’ve never heard before. It was low, husky, and wanting.

“You’re going to please Denji and I. And you’re going to make sure each and every crevice of your body is given to us over, and over, and over again. Until we’re tired. Understood?”

Meekly, you nodded your head with a whimper. Denji cocked his eyebrow at Aki’s suddenly dark monotone of a voice but shrugged it off when he refocused at the task at hand.

Aki pushed his leg between yours, purposely rubbing against your warmed cunt. You could feel your clit throb in anticipation, the sudden degradation and perverse agreement tickling your brain and standing your nerve endings on edge.

“Open more.” He demanded, using one leg to open your legs wide enough to begin a rip in your pantyhose.

“Denji, you take the top, I’ll take the bott-“

“Hey what about-“ Denji began to counter with an argument, only to be cut off by Aki again.

“And then we’ll switch.” Switch! What was it that you agreed to!

“B-but-“ your voice, trembling at the base, was cut at the helm as your pouty lips changed its position, now becoming a resting zone for Denji’s wrists as his fingers prodded its way down your throat. He relinquished your breasts from its lacy convictions, latching his tongue hungrily around your nipple, circling it back and forth while maintaining a separate rhythm in your throat. Drool slid down your burning face as Denji groaned in pleasure, counting the ridges of your throat in the back of his mind as he pushed back and forth. He fondled one of your breasts, flicking the nipple back and forth with his rough hands and using his mouth to pull and nip at the other, sending shockwaves up and down your body.

Aki grew tired of rubbing polyester and decided for the easier option: ripping your pantyhose down the crotch, pulling your panties to the side and using his free hand to cup your quivering honeypot. The heat was radiating between your legs, begging for more as loud as it could since your mouth was occupied to the brim.

Aki smiled to himself at the sight in front of him. Your body shivered as Denji had his way with your breasts, he could only imagine if-

“Mmfh!” A muffled moan escaped your mouth as Aki pressed on your sensitive clit, circling it back and forth, feeling for the wetness your mounds produced so he could lacquer your love button with its excretions, knowingly making you more sensitive with each skilled yet swift motion. He tapped at your clit multiple times, sending your legs buckling after every other tap. You were close to your first orgasm and you haven’t even been penetrated yet, no doubt driving you crazy! Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes as Denji’s sharp teeth pinched at your perked nipples, sending a euphoric shockwave through your body mixed with brief sensations of pain.

Aki could see how ready you were, seeps of your love elixir trailed down your legs, pooling on the floor underneath you. He stepped back, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“I didn’t say you could do that, cocksleeve. Have you forgotten your role already?”

Mouth full, you shook your head in decline. Spittle trailed down your collarbone and in between your cleavage, a ravenous Denji in his own heaven as he switched between your breasts, leaving you overly sensitive yet at the brink of explosion.

Without much announcement, Aki let his grip of your wrists go, moving you to the floor so your face was aligned with both Aki and Denji’s belt loops.

“Hah, man,” Denji was already rubbing the outline of his throbbing cock through his pants. You could see it growing before your eyes, sending a shudder across your body that stopped between your legs. You imagined how you were going to fit him inside of you, and then make room for Aki after.

“I can already tell her pussy is going to be amazing. Hey, cocksleeve,” Denji smiled perversely, petting your hair and relinquishing his throbbing beast from its cage. It spilled out of his pants, its veiny shaft already glistened at the tip with pre-cum.

“Get me off. Then I’ll use that slutty little pussy while Aki takes a turn.”

I forgot about this one! Enjoy the snack between the main course babes 💞 — @chrollohearttags @muvaginger @two-pounds-of-crab-legs @koshhin @preciousamethyst @bansurii — 💞

[yamanaka-shin]

🔥 (if your still dropping the tea! xD. Idk for a topic, anything I guess, shout it out!)

Last night me and Jess were talking and I subjected her to a little Mangetsu and Suigetsu rant. So, since it's the birthday of the older brother and a few days from the birthday of the younger brother, it's time I brought some words out today. Not good ones. Keep in mind, Mangetsu is damn near tied for my #1 favorite in the entire franchise. So I don't say this out of malice.

There is no point to him existing. Both as a character and as a sibling. Because we got absolutely nothing worthwhile from his existence. Sure there was the whole "oh he can use all the swords and is basically a prodigy" but we didn't even get to see any of that, now did we? Didn't even see him with his own primary weapon (Hiramekarei) in canon, had to see it in Sharingan Legend for a couple panels and I believe one of the games too. How fucking disrespectful is that?

There's at least one other Hiramekarei wielder that's not Chojuuro that we've seen too. So we can just replace Mangetsu as the strongest user of it for the Edo Tensei and miss absolutely nothing. Suigetsu doesn't even need "oh my brother died and that explains some of why my life sucks so bad" since we genuinely don't know what role Mangetsu (and his death) played there! I can assume all I want but without shit to base it on, it's all worthless. There's easily ways you can give Suigetsu a hard time that gets him caught by Orochimaru to explain everything. The story continues as normal.

And the sibling comment, well. There's plenty of characters who aren't an only child. Both by blood and otherwise. Kabuto and Sai come to mind immediately. But you also got the Sand Siblings, the Senju quartet, Madara was one of 5 for fucks sake, Naruto and Hinata have 3, Hinata herself has a sister in Hanabi. And while Madara is an interesting case cuz only 1 of his 4 other siblings is shown, at least we get valuable input from Izuna being around. Everyone else? You can make a good case for the existence of their siblings.

Take for example Urushi, Kabuto's adoptive older brother. He didn't have a big part to play but I still am moved by his presence in Kabuto's life. We didn't need to see his whole deal either. The two were together in the orphanage for a couple years and clearly bonded based on the SCENE FROM THE WAR ARC LATER WHERE NOW ADULT URUSHI SAYS HE HOPES HIS BROTHER WILL FINALLY COME HOME. and then guess what? They're back together in Boruto! Not a great fate for Kabuto, looking like Orochimaru after All That, but at fucking least he has someone important to him left.

And then no one needs me to go off about Shin in any capacity cuz by now it's clear what my feelings are. That being said, for all my bitching about the lack of info, we got a decent amount to go off of. We know their place in Sai's life and how it shaped Sai into the person we got to know in Shippuden. That is enough to justify their role as a sibling. I'm content with it.

Mangetsu? Had an opportunity to be reunited with Suigetsu in the war. I know it could have fucking been done. But no, no, nothing came of it. Because even SP didn't want to put in the effort. WE DID NOT EVEN SEE MANGETSU GET SEALED LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. HOW FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL! Legit at this point he should have just been removed from the entire narrative. You could do that and lose NOTHING.

Happy birthday beloved wet beast, you got done so goddamn dirty by canon in every way. I wish I had the ability to correct the wrongs done.

here have a couple pieces done by Brentonsart (Twitter) who is very dear to me as compensation. I've been holding onto these a while.

[thebigshotman]

don't be shy, spill the mother fuckin' tea. or rather the shit you had to deal with while in that amor because that could NOT be comfortable

He locks widened marbles with where he thinks the source of the voice is before he sighs deeply, posture relaxing a little as he kicks his feet against the desk he’s sitting on. Away from Eileen a moment…that saved him from saying something stupid. An opportunity to rant about that body he had so foolishly run back to? He would take that opportunity any day.

*…1’LL [[redeem free coupon?]] TO V3NT. [[Thank you!]]…

*H3LL. IT WAS HELL. SHOULD’VE EXPECTED THAT, 1T WASN’T MY [round one] WITH THAT THING, BUT…IT WAS STILL [[$&@!]]. S0 MUCH NOISE!!!! EV3RY MOMENT OF EV3RY DAY THE [[*phone ringing*]] [[*garbled discussion*]] [[*static*]] [[*keyboard clicking*]]-

He pounded his desk with one fist, heaving wildly as he kept his eyes locked forward and continued to rant.

*MY M1ND WENT [[stocks down 500 points]] 4ND I DIDN’T MIND!!! THAT [[body]] WOULDN’T LET ME!!!! 1F I C0ULD JUST KILL [[trust me, im a dolphin]] 4ND [[*squeaking*]] FOR [Hazelnut]’S $AKE,,MAYBE IT WOULD ALL G0 AWAY!!!! BUT IT D1DN’T!!!!!

By this point he was leaning right at the edge of his desk, voice clipping at its maximum volume. The sudden silence from himself pausing seemed to startle him, and he flinched and tumbled off of the desk, landing facedown. A voice clip of annoyed grumbling escaped his throat as he looked up to finish his speech.

*…WH3N I COULDN’T [[kill]] 4N YMORE…I WENT [[no thoughts head empty]]. TH4T’S WHEN SPAF GOT INVOLVED. AND…well…

Glitching a little, he heaved himself up and put his head on the table. Right over the dent his lunch just now has formed.

*WHY D0N’T WE [[pause]] FOR NOW??? [[Come back tomorrow for more specil deals!]] 4ND I’LL T3LL YOU MORE ABOUT MY [personal hell]. [[Yes/No]]???

He definitely sounded a little out of breath, despite not possessing lungs. Perhaps it was for the best…

[aroace-poly-show]

follow up to my last oc rant: im gonna cover weiss and jex here since im brain rotting about them again sigh

also i tried my best with the sort of worldbuilding dont come for me if its not great this was for fun

jex’s illness specifically was inspired by this fictional disease thing i saw on pinterest and im so sad bc i didnt save it so i cant link it FUCK anyway specifically it was heavily inspired by the ink cough one. essentially jex’s body pretty much starts to slowly fail on them. throughout the life of one affected by this, they’ll slowly become weaker and weaker, getting sick much more easily (and those sicknesses tend to affect them much worse), having more and more violent coughing fits, being unable to heal very quickly/properly/more prone to infections, and blood from any injuries gets darker overtime, eventually becoming black. a lot of people often become eventually paralyzed. nearly everyone who has it has their expected lifespan cut incredibly short. those rare people that live longer spend their last days pretty much suffering. (no one really knows what causes it, theres rumors that it was a curse from an old dead god, placed upon the world in their final breath.. 👀 hehe)

stress tends to trigger jex’s cough but its not ink its like blackened blood. while they do tend to cough occasionally just in general, stressful situations will trigger a really really bad coughing fit, its worse depending how distressing it is to jex.

oh, and i forgot to mention!! weiss also has a sort of condition!! basically whenever they have an injury that draws blood, flowers will bloom from them. these flowers often help the wound to heal faster than if they weren’t there!! weiss was always fascinated by this, and (!!!possible tw: sh!!!) !!!sometimes would get hurt on purpose to draw blood and see the flowers bloom. its pretty cool having basically blood flowers that help you heal faster...until its like an internal injury then theyre an absolutely fucking pain in the ass to deal with.

so, weiss and jex were childhood best friends. they’ve been best friends foreverrr (and now romantic partners <3) since the one time jex fell out of a tree like a foot away from where weiss was messing with mechanical stuff. how fun!! jex had pretty much hopped out the window of their house after their caretaker left their room for like 2 seconds to grab their tea (which they absolutely fucking despise). before weiss can even say anything jex is just like “OOOOO WHATS THAT OMG” and just. fucking grabs the lil mechanical thing weiss was messing with.

weiss got pissed off at first bc “hey who are you why are you touching my stuff??” but then was overjoyed at the opportunity to infodump about her machines and stuff. boom now theyre besties. weiss used to help jex sneak out all the time. jex absolutely loved weiss for this, she was helping them live their childhood and god they’d do anything for her already.

weiss learned why jex had to stay inside all the time but it never really hit her until she actually witnessed one of their coughing fits. jex’s parents flipped the fuck out and weiss saw the amount of panic from them. jex had always played it off as it not being a big deal but seeing them struggle to just fucking breathe really shook weiss. the next time weiss saw them she made a promise that she’d find a way to help her, no matter what.

jex just kind of went along with that promise not thinking it was gonna be a serious thing, but weiss took that promise very seriously. she started focusing less on her interest in mechanical things and focused entirely on studying to help jex out. unfortunately…it resulted in them starting to drifting apart. jex was kept at home more especially since there wasn’t anyone to help them sneak out. eventually weiss hears about this group working towards learning more about their world, pretty much just scientists. she hears about one of their goals to help heal those illness that keep taking lives and she immediately fucking joins. goddamn shes excited!!! she can finally help her best friends!!! if only she read the fine print…sigh

so the group she joins, fucking sucks. very unethical experiments and projects but uh oh!! it seems theyre working with the shitty corrupt people that have wayyy too much power for anyone to do anything major about. so uh oh!!! no one’s coming to sue their asses!!! how sad for these (non)human lab rats :(

weiss had no idea about it at the beginning until shes offered a higher position in an important project, and she takes it bc she was told theyre working on the exact illness that jex has!! so of course shes gonna take that opportunity!! but unfortunately shes gonna be even busier, and jex wasnt happy about it. they already barely get to se weiss, and now they might not see them at all? theyre kind of hurt, and feel like shes treating them the same as their parents did. not letting them live the life they do have, just focusing on trying to extend it. it results in an argument between them, with weiss storming out. weiss didnt really get it, why would jex be upset??? shes trying to save them??? the fuck is their problem??? but she brushes it off and goes to start her new project, yay...

shes totally having a great time until she finds out just how far theyre willing to go “for research” (theyre really just pretentious fucking assholes who are basically torturing people and using “but science!!!” as an excuse). girl witnesses them recruiting fucking CHILDREN for these experiments and nopes the fuck out. and steals a child in the process. oopsies!! (she returned that kid to their parents and told them to get the fuck outta here) unfortunately!! they dont take kindly to people who know too much leaving their little group!! especially ones that also steal their lab rats!! uh oh!!

so weiss goes to see jex in the middle of the night, scares the everloving shit out of them, scares them EVEN MORE after she explains her situation, and they make up really quick and go on the run together!! how sweet!! (they make up properly later, weiss said sorry like a million times <3)

nowadays they travel around under new identities (their current names are the new identities btw i just refer to them in the past with the same name for simplicity [*cough* i didnt come up with previous names.. *cough*]). they visit bars and jex often does little perfomances and magic tricks there! if anyone's up to it, jex'll have a little spar with someone as well. they get by asking for tips for their performances. they often move from town to town, but they're fairly happy together <3 weiss is still looking around for any leads on possible solutions to jex's condition though, its how she got to know dorian. they crossed paths once and dorian was more than happy to help with her goal!! jex is here mostly to just enjoy themselves with their beloved. <3

notes:

jex fucking LOVES spicy food. doesn't matter how spicy it is, doesn't care how much they always end up coughing afterward, they will eat any kind of spicy food they'll see at any restaurant. (weiss has to beg them not to eat too much otherwise they'll be coughing for hours)

i think about them alot to "if i could ride a bike" - park bird/chevy , specifically in a modern setting. i love them dearly

i ended up writing...way more.. than i thought i had oh my god?? pls i originally did them first bc i thought they had a lot less but..jesus fucking christ man;;

[thegravityblog]

Monday: 05-06-2023

June is here, hence a new week. Always starts with a bang no matter what, my Monday's are always busy as fuck. Started my day as usually with a cup of green tea, and reading the WSJ, Bloomberg, TOI and FT. Freshened up, and started with a conversation with my CTO regarding the deadline for Dexa’s ticketing sale function, then moved to track the NSE (National Stock Exchange), and started coding on the AI therapist while listening to Dr. Alok Kanojia’s amazing lecture on addiction. The lecture describes both on a neuroscience and psychology level on how addiction happens, plays out and how one can jump out of it. Give it a watch, I have posted the link on a previous post. After lunch I had a quick meeting with someone, so attended that. Came back home and resumed coding. One thing I wanted to put out as an opinion on the whole AI anxiety people around the world are feeling. Definitely low level jobs like copywriting, junior level programming and even artists to a point can be replaced but eventually it will always create newer forms opportunities and jobs that would be exciting to fathom. The people who are upskilling will have a great time in the future, its very necessary for everyone to atleast understand the basics and to know how to use it. I would suggest everyone to start studying the basics, and play with all the AI tools that are available. Understand the fundamentals enough to stay relevant. Anyway, coming to my day, I after tea started listening to music till now, played some tracks that I love and mean a lot to me. Glad, moved on and I have started seeing myself with someone with whom I can start a meaningful life, for sure it will happen but I am utilizing all this time alone to figure myself out. The more space I have spent with myself, the better the person will be with me who’ll come next. One disastrous (although my last two were epic fails) that does not determine my next 60 years of my life. Shit happens and it happens for your good. I have learnt now to always follow my intuitions, even in my last relationship my intuition always signaled me that this person isn’t who she is pretending to be, but I was so much in love, I ignored all the flags. She wants dogs, who are dumb, and won’t ever question what she is doing, that’s it and she’s happy. I’m an independent thinker and my bullshit detector is very strong, and I can do a lot for a person whom I love but not questioning their wrongdoings? Well, that’s where the compatibility ends. These type of people are always praying on others expense, although all of it was fake, counterfeit love but I felt good for sometime. And I don’t regret taking a stand for her. I did it because I loved her. But yes, I won’t take my girl taking any dick that comes her way, that’s where I caught her and she had to run, I knew she was fucking someone else at the same time behind my back and also wanted to do the same to soothe her self esteem, what her ex did to her. Pathetic, no? What did it do to me? Made me a couple of lakhs of rupees. A couple of thousand dollars. So, it doesn’t really matter. I am a MAN and I act like one. If a girl is telling me to start a porno channel, she’s dead to me there, but the impotent she is with did follow the order. So, where standards don’t meet, RUN! There’s a hell lot of moral and ethical differences as well. And she is DUMB too. Just imagine, a therapist by profession, deliberately hurts you knowing that you have recovering from your past scars. What would you call such a person? DUMBFUCK. What else?  Enough of the rant. Listening to Dr. Huberman’s podcast with Rick Rubin about the science of creativity. Gonna read after this and then sleep, to begin with another beautiful day.

[diabolikpersonals]

put yourself in yui's place. ur vampire bf is taking you on a date in the demon world. that's fine, he swears he'll protect you so no other vampires get you. u go to a restaurant, it's pretty crowded but he pulls the "do you know who we are?" card to get you two a VIP table. slightly cringe but ok. u guys sit down. the whole staff is super fucking mad at you guys for some reason. presumably your demon bf has been hogging this VIP table, and most likely getting up to Less Than Reputable Behaviors out here, for quite some time.

your demon bf GETS UP AND LEAVES for a while. while you're sitting there alone, the waiter slams your silverware down and rants to you about how everyone's so fucking sick your bf and they dont really want to serve YOU either. he's so loud and enthusiastic about it that all of the guests start staring you down and you start to fear that the entire restaurant is gonna beat you up.

when your bf finally comes back, you both ignore all that shit, and he INSISTS you order this particular thing off the menu. he is SO pushy about it, and he's saying the most suspicious shit, like "order this tart, it's sooooo normal, definitely nothing weird will happen if you eat it." fine, you order that, and when your food shows up you get nearly smacked in the face with a BAT (like the animal, not like a baseball bat lol) and you drop your fork. nothing is working out. and that seems like a real health and safety hazard, bats in a restaurant?? whatever. your demon bf insists you start eating. so you do. AND OF COURSE HE DRUGGED IT so while you're feeling the effects he starts putting moves on you, in front of the entire already-furious restaurant—and I will remind you that they are VAMPIRES and are looking for any opportunity to attack you.

so you freak out, and you throw your tea at your bf to get him to keep his hands to himself, because your life is at stake here. the teacup shatters. the staff gets SOOOO FUCKING MAD because apparently that was a SUPER expensive teacup, so they forcibly drag your bf away to make him pay for it. he definitely can't pay for it. you're alone again. YOU RUN, you fucking run into the wide open demon world because anything is better than this awful awful date you're on

laito is definitely DEFINITELY winning the title for worst date I've ever experienced in a dialovers game

[dazais-guardian-angel]

PH/VC: 3, 8, 16, 20!

3. Who is your favorite character from both the ph and vnc universe?

PH, Gilbert, the beautiful boy. I feel weird for saying that, considering that the ones I always seem to talk about are Break and others instead alkfklglkfdkld...... but I want to say he still edges out everyone else for #1. He’s just a good, sweet, dorky and loyal baby... and goddamn it at the end of everything he was the only one still alive OTL

And Noe without a doubt. Again, sweet, dorky, pure cinnamon roll... but also not afraid to kick some ass when he needs to, just like Gilbert.

8. What is your favorite Pandora Hearts OST?

Will. There are other songs on the soundtrack I like a bit better, aesthetically... but Will is the true encapsulation of Pandora Hearts for me. No other song in existence sums up all the feelings this series gives than this song; I tear up almost every time I listen to it and think about the manga. Maybe it’s because the goddamn final chapter is called that, which Yuki Kajiura couldn’t have known at the time... but wow. Honorable mentions are Parting Song, Confidence, and Reminisce.

16. Do you hold any controversial ph or vnc opinions?

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Strap in folks; I’m about to spill the hottest and most painful tea that’s been burning me alive since March 2014, that I will take any and all opportunity to spill with bitter, salty pleasure.

Break’s death was terribly handled near the end of Pandora Hearts. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t upset at the fact that he simply died, no; of course none of us wanted it to happen, but we were expecting it for a long time coming; it was the terrible dread looming at the back of our minds for literally years. But do you know what I hate more than literally anything? Characters whose entire arcs are about them having no desire to live, and them eventually finally gaining that newfound appreciation and desire for life, only to be killed right when they’ve finally acknowledged their happiness at being alive. And that’s exactly what’s done to Break. The end of the chapter tries to play it off as peaceful and bittersweet, but NO; Break DID NOT WANT TO DIE. In his last moments he was crying to not die. That’s not nice and good writing; that’s extremely upsetting! This is a common thing that happens again and again in media: traumatized and depressed characters, even if they heal somewhat, are not allowed a happy ending by the end. And to make matters worse, after his death, Break is literally FORGOTTEN for the entire rest of the series, because so much other shit is going down and other characters are dying left and right, and he becomes just a body drug around and is never acknowledged again. Oscar, and freaking Echo, got more beautiful deaths/better sendoffs than Break, a MAIN CHARACTER (and look I love Oscar to death, and Echo, hell OzEcho is one of my ships tbh, and I have absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar’s part, but seriously you’re telling me Oz gets to cry over Echo, but not Break???). Even Elliot got a chapter where they mourned him, although there still needed to be more. But Break’s treatment, where Sharon and Reim are the only ones who ever get to acknowledge that he even died? It’s a spit in his face, in his arc, and I fucking hate it SO much. It’s such lazy, rushed writing, like much of the final arc/climax in PH. I would have loved (well, “loved”) to see him die later, peacefully, after he’d had his time to live, surrounded by the others; I’d be sad, of course, but not hurt, insulted. Not in the chaos of the climax where it’s treated as a goddamn afterthought, and is so far from what he deserved at all. Vincent got this treatment, satisfied with his life when he died, and it was perfect, so why couldn’t Break get this too?

PH was the second manga I ever read, and so far is the only one I’ve read the longest that has had its conclusion, and within those 4ish years I read it, I grew so attached to its characters, which made Break’s death hurt me so much more - I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s the hardest-hitting character death I’ve ever experienced do NOT fucking challenge that, CERTAIN OTHER SERIES. The combination of how long I read it and how attached I became, how new I was to animanga when I read it, and how much looking back on it has made me able to understand and see the difference between good and bad writing, and realize what kind of bad writing tropes personally bother me the most (of which this one is at the top), is why I’m still so bitter and upset about it to this day, and always will be (and also why I’m wary reading other ongoing manga of quality drops... I’m traumatized, man). Break deserved better and it’s a goddamn tragedy he got shit on the way he did in the last 12 chapters  *sips tea and feasts on the salt from my tears*

As for VnC.... it hasn’t been happening much recently that I know of, thankfully, but uhhh the way Domi treats Noe with the collar and all that like he’s her pet is really disturbing, considering that he used to be a slave? And just mmmm no can she Not? Yeah. Not a huge fan of her tbh.

20. Which story do you prefer so far between ph and vnc?

PH without a doubt, but that’s only because its characters are so beloved to me and I’ve seen so much more of them. There just hasn’t been enough of VnC yet, so despite my misgivings about PH’s climax/ending, it still is my favorite of the two. A lot of it is amazing, after all. But who knows, maybe once VnC finishes it’ll be my favorite. Only time will tell if Jun became a better writer and can stick the landing this time.

Thanks Masky!

MochiJun Series Ask Meme

[nitewrighter]

Are you still taking asks from the Pliny the Elders posts? More on Cindy's faerie godmother, either her response to the wedding or the other godmothers' responses to what she's done in the story itself?

For anyone not familiar with Cindy, here’s the masterpost!!

Sorry this has been sitting in my drafts a while. If you guys want to read other Cindy-matic Universe stuff you can check out Smoky Tea and Ball’s in Your Court!

---

"So. Out of juice, huh?" A scraggly old fairy with drought-browned foxtails for hair chewed at her pipe as Hazel hugged her knees, huddled against the roots of the Mother Tree. Hazel said nothing. She barely heard her. God, she really had just thrown that kid into the deep end. And what would happen after? Memory spell or not, they ran from the freakin' cops, that wasn't something that just went away. Granted sometimes it did if you pulled it off the right way, but for legal reasons neither Hazel nor the author could go into that. Quiet. Focus. Just breathe. Magic adapts to its environment and if you're a ball of furious nerves regretfully stumbling through the events of the previous hours, you're stuck with nervous wreck magic, which sucks.

"Hey--Orphan Tears. I'm talking to you," The scraggly fairy spoke up again. Hazel missed that part as well. Or at least mixed it up with the memory of Cindy asking if she should cry on the tree more.

"Oh I get it, you barely squeak by on your ass into Godmother Rank and suddenly you're too good for the rest of us--too good for old Foxtail--but it's not like the good fairies'll ever think you're one of them anyhow. Old Foxtail hears what they say about you. Lemme tell ya, once you switch from sourin' milk to sparkles, something takes root in you--those of us with the rot and the earth, that's magic that can be trusted, that's--"

"Wh--?" Hazel glanced up, "Oh. You were talking to me."

"Fucking hell--it's always the same with you young lot--a few hours in the human world and you leave half your wits there," Foxtail flopped back against the Mother Tree, "Yes, I'm talking to you."

"Sorry, I just..." Hazel's brow crinkled and she turned her gaze upward to the lattice of branches-that-were-also-roots that wove about the high underground ceiling of Faerie, "It's... harder than I thought it would be... I-I scared the shit out of her when I first showed up, and--and I think I helped her, but if she gets in trouble because of me...." Hazel felt at her horns, grimacing, before exhaling.

“Sounds like you really care about this one,” Foxtail rested her chin on her knuckles.

“Enough to use up all my juice,” Hazel snorted.

“God, humans are so much simpler when you’re just... threatening to kill a priest if he don’t ask the dying old man he’s performing last rites for if you’ll get into heaven on judgment day,” Foxtail huffed.

“They really are...” Hazel sighed. She perked up slightly. “Will we--?”

“Oh no, we won’t. Not really our bag, as it were,” Foxtail shrugged, “Good for scaring priests though.” 

“Mm,” Hazel turned her gaze forward. 

“It’s interesting, what you’re doing, I’ll give you that,” Foxtail took this opportunity to finally light her pipe and the scent of burning ground-up children’s teeth drifted around the base of the Mother Tree, “Shakes things up down here, for sure.”

“I’m not doing it to shake things up--”

“I know, why d’you think I call you ‘Orphan Tears’ anyway? Of course you’re stuck to that human--but you know you’re going to outlive her. So long as that tree of yours is up. But humans are always trouble--we have the godmothers to try and keep things all...” Foxtail huffed smoke out through her pointed teeth,  “Diplomatic, but mark me, mortals are trouble. And if any of us good neighbors is going to prove that...”

“Mm...” Hazel readjusted herself to a cross-legged position, resigning herself to letting Foxtail rant some more. It was a comfort, in its own bitter, brittle way. Being born from a tree, and not the Mother Tree at that, she didn’t really have a concept of family--not a lot of common fairies like her did--but she had seen how some humans interacted with each other. They were flawed beings stuck together, and just having to deal with that, and somehow down the line not wanting to let each other go... she could understand something like that with Foxtail. But then Hazel perked up at a melodious, almost chiming sound. Fae armor didn’t thud and clink like human metals, it sang.

“Godmother Hazel?” two fairies in semi-armored livery loomed over her. She didn’t quite catch which one spoke. The first instinct was to run, but Hazel knew in the state she was in, it wasn’t like she could get far.

“...I am she,” Hazel looked up from furrowed brows with the traditional response.

“The Reverend Godmother would like a word,” said the other liveried guard.

“Oi! She hasn’t done anything wrong, you pigs! She helped her human just like you lot swear you do!” Foxtail piped up.

“It’s fine,” Hazel stood up. It was that moment when exhaustion gives you a second sucker punch because you let your body think it was in a recharge mode (and to be fair, it was), but still she stepped away from the Mother Tree with a short exhale. “Take me to her.”

Both guards pivoted to either side of her, and each stiffly hooked their arm under hers before they took off with a light thrum of dragonfly wings.

“Don’t you worry, Orphan Tears!” Foxtail hollered after her, “It’s our nature to get in over our heads--on scales them mortals can barely dream of!”

“God, that stinks--” muttered one of the guards.

“We’ve got to do something about the children’s teeth problem,” said the other guard.

Hazel briefly considered saying “She’s not hurting anyone” or “it’s one of the only ceremonies humans have with the lower Folk” but held her tongue. Grumpily hanging in the grip of two fairy guards was far from a position to soapbox. Fucking wings. All fairies who had wings thought they were a big fucking deal, but they were largely redundant--between the stealth with which they could move, and pretty much any fairies’ standard bag of tricks, and zipping around with pixie dust or bubbles or between reflective surfaces, wings were more about status (and status quo) than anything. But gods knew the godmothers loved their theater. 

Hazel was ushered into a large hexagonal office. Reverend Godmother Mailse pivoted towards her, her features as high and smooth and slightly gnarled as teak driftwood, with sea glass green eyes and silver hair cropped short to high, frothy waves.

“Hazel. So glad you could join us--Tea?”

Hazel was unceremoniously plomped down to her feet and rocked on her heels slightly. A large moth in a waistcoat and frilly collar leaned toward her with a platter of tea and pastries. Hazel took an almond tart and chewed it while not breaking eye contact. “Can I ask what the purpose of this meeting is, Reverend Godmother?” 

“We can’t tell you how... encouraging, all your progress in our little experiment has been,” Reverend Godmother Mailse clasped her hands together. 

“Uh huh...” Hazel’s voice was only slightly distorted by a mouth full of slightly-too-dry pastry. Oh boy, they were calling it ‘the experiment’ again. A couple weeks ago it was being crowed about as a ‘diplomatic venture,’ and now we were back to ‘experiment.’

“It’s just... I’ve been informed you gifted your human charge something... permanent,” Reverend Mother Mailse’s hands went from clasping to that little jerky forward-steepling-fingers gesture.

“We’re fairies. We give gifts all the time,” Hazel shrugged, still chewing.

“In the old days! With the old kingdoms! And--and I recognize that it was very old magic that brought you to us,”

“Pure-hearted Orphan Tears,” Hazel said, with just the right amount of ‘Fuck you I know what I’m doing’ energy even if, in this moment, she very much didn’t because she still didn’t really see what she did wrong.

“It’s just... when we give humans gifts that are... permanent, that tends to... disrupt things,” Reverend Godmother Mailse was pacing back and forth.

Hazel scoffed. “They’re shoes. They’re not going to disrupt things.”

“Shoes?” Mailse’s silver eyelashes fluttered.

“Shoes. I mean I learned enough of our history not to give her a sword--I. mean I think giving her a sword would have probably freaked her out--I mean if I had given her a sword, it obviously wouldn’t be a permanent sword, it would just ffft away after I helped her kill her stepfamily, but you guys are all like ‘oh nooooo Fairy Godmothers don’t straight-up murder people’ and I’d be like ‘I’m not killing them, I’m letting her kill them,’ but then that’s probably against the rules somehow too or something. But anyway, I could tell she wasn’t up for killing anyone, and like... all she really wanted was to get to that party.”

Mailse was staring blankly at Hazel then. Her lips parted for a few seconds, then she closed them, she opened her mouth again, squinting a little, closed it again, then paced away from Hazel.

“That’s--I--Shoes?” she said, pivoting towards Hazel again.

“Shoes for the party,” said Hazel, “And I made them permanent so... she’d have something to remember the party by. The kid--she... she gets scared a lot. The people with her tell her she’s stupid and crazy all the time. I thought... if she has a happy memory, it should be one thing that people can’t tell her she’s stupid and crazy for.”

“I see...” the Reverend Godmother looked thoughtful at this.

“And look--it’s a nice shoe, but there’s no real glamour about it. The most magic I put into it were the defenses!”

“D-defenses?” 

“Well, yeah, obviously--they’re her shoes, and her stepfamily stole a whole bunch of her shit, so I figured I’d make it so they couldn’t steal the shoes!”

“Go on...” Reverend Godmother Mailse said slowly.

Hazel had the feeling this was setting up for some kind of trap, but at the same time, she knew how all the winged fairies looked at her anyway, so if she was going to make an ass of herself, she had made peace with that concept a long time ago. “Look, the shoes just fit her, okay? They don’t fit anyone else. And maybe there’s a slight deterrent on the stepfamily putting them on. Maybe. That’s really the only magic on them. The shoes are just.. not going to fit anyone else. And that’s not a big deal! All the humans have their shoes custom-made, anyway! Or y’know they cobble them down to whatever size! What are they going to do... come up with some kind of... standardization for foot size? What kind of fucking weirdo would do that?” 

“Mm...” Reverend Godmother Mailse was nodding as if what Hazel was saying was very reasonable, but there was a hard crinkle in her brow.

“What?” said Hazel. But then a memory flashed back to her. Poor Cindy, all sniffling, curled up in the middle of the road, rats and lizards and an old-as-balls farm dog loping around her, all covered in pumpkin guts. “I lost one of the slippers... I’m sorry.” And the poor fucking kid just looked so scared in that moment, like Hazel was going to hurt her for fucking up even though it wasn’t like she had a whole lot of control in that context, not to mention the fact that she might be fucking concussed from the pumpkin crash--god, why hadn’t she explained more things to her?! “...What happened?” it was finally at the point where Hazel couldn’t meet the Reverend Godmother’s eyes.

The Reverend godmother looked... honestly just a little too apologetic in that moment. This wasn’t really a smug expression from her, more like the look you get from your DM when you roll a Nat 1 on a saving throw and they know you’re really attached to your half-elf bard. 

“Hazel... there really hasn’t been anyone like you in Faerie in a very long time,” was all she said.

“That is not fucking answering what I’m asking,” every muscle in Hazel’s body was tensed. She suddenly lunged forward and seized the Reverend Godmother by her arms, “IS MY KID FUCKING SAFE!?” 

There was an audible drawing of swords and spears behind her and Hazel immediately realized her emotional reaction well-outpaced her current physical abilities. There was a moment of freezing like, no, she couldn’t let go, not until she knew, but then she felt a thin-fingered gentle hand smoothing her hair behind her horns. The sound of metal behind her seemed to slacken and Hazel’s eyes flicked upward.

“She’s safe for now,” said the Reverend Godmother, looking down at her, “But the situation is still developing.”

“‘Still developing?’” Hazel scoffed, “The hell is that supposed to mean?” 

The Reverend Godmother glanced up from her and gestured at her guards and they briskly walked out, before quickly returning, wings thrumming, with what appeared to be a large mirror, but it didn’t reflect so much as look like dark, murky water. The reverend godmother passed a hand in front of it, and its plane rippled to reveal the blinding daylight of the mortal world.

“Hear ye, hear ye!” A town crier was yelling, “Whosoever fits the shoe in question, is the prince’s intended bride!” before unfurling a scroll which featured the fucking shoe Hazel gave Cindy.

Hazel’s mouth was hanging open. “Ah--” Hazel made a sound and turned to the Reverend Mother, “Okay so---” she sharply inhaled through her nostrils, “I didn’t glamour her--okay? I didn’t. I mean, I gave her a nice outfit, but like, there’s a memory charm on the outfit--that’s the whole thing--the whole thing was no one was supposed to remember her--I mean yeah, people can remember what she said--I wanted her to have a chance to tell the stepfamily to go fuck themselves, alright, and they wouldn’t forget that they got told to go fuck themselves, alright? HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE’D STILL BE IN LOVE WITH HER!?”

 “...because truth sticks in the mind far longer than anything else...” the Reverend Godmother didn’t turn away from the mirror, “And those pure of heart speak as true as they can.”

Hazel’s mouth drew to a thin line. “Look--you... you can’t punish me just because I couldn’t know she could be that good of a person! That’s not--you know what I am! You know I’m--I’m--” the words came so close to Hazel’s teeth but she bit them back. She knew what she was, but there was also a furious part of her that would never give those with wings the satisfaction. 

“Did you think I brought you here to punish you?” the Reverend Godmother glanced toward her.

“I MEAN YOU HAD THE FUCKING NARC GUARDS DRAG ME IN,” Hazel threw up her hands. 

“I brought you here because... for the first time in a very long time, I’m not sure what will happen next,” the reverend godmother chuckled, “I... I don’t think you’re a bad fairy, Hazel.”

“I’m literally Unseelie,” Hazel folded her arms in a huff.

“You were made from tears. From pain. It’s very easy to think that pain is purely bad--but it’s not. Pain tells us when something is wrong. Pain tells us that things should not be the way they are. Pain can be punishment, that’s true, but I think--more often than that, pain is the absence of justice and kindness and love...You were born from tears of grief and loneliness, Hazel. You think you are pain, but in fact, you are love. And fury. And justice.” 

Hazel’s met her eyes and was pressing her lips together hard, arms still folded, though it was clear those words had shaken her.

“I didn’t bring you here because I thought you must be punished,” said the Reverend Godmother.

“Right, ‘Fairy Godmothers aren’t about punishment,’” Hazel rolled her eyes.

“It’s true,” said the Reverend Godmother, “I mean we can decommission you and you can go right back to turning butter rancid, if that’s what you think is better for you.”

Hazel was silent, not looking at her.

“But the actual reason I brought you here was, I don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s been a very long time since we’ve interfered in human affairs to this extent. But I think if anything goes wrong, I can trust you to put it right.”

Hazel blinked.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’ve disrupted... probably a lot of human politics--but it wouldn’t be very true to our roots if we didn’t do that, would it?” 

Hazel’s eyebrows raised and she glanced up at the Reverend Godmother then.

“Like I said,” said the Reverend Godmother, “There hasn’t been anyone like you in Faerie in a very long time.”

Hazel blinked a few times. “C-could I get that tea, now? And can I sit down?” 

The Reverend Godmother smiled.