#Remind me to ramble what I think everyone would be
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ezrasxfics · 22 hours ago
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Could you do a one-sided Jax x Caine interaction? Jax fell for the one guy that actually pays attention to him/takes him seriously anymore, and said guy is completely unable to compute the feelings Jax has for him, let alone reciprocate. Basically... Jax being a miserable, lonely loser.
..i wish you were real.
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one-sided bunnyteeth angst
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jax pov
“man, i dont know. i guess i just wish you were real, but if you were, i don’t think i’d be able to tell you about this dumb stuff.” i groan, talking to caine. our ai ringmaster. “you’re the only person who makes me feel real.”
“well, of course you feel real, jax! you’re a human, after all!” he replies, a look of confusion on his face. just confusion, nothing resembling affection or recognition. i hate when he looks at me like that, it’s just a reminder him and i may as well live in two completely different worlds. it’s embarrassing i managed to fall for someone like him. but i did, hard.
“you don’t get it. of course you don’t, what was i even thinking? i’m stupid for even considering that you might be able to even— i give up.” i ramble, voice drifting off to a whisper of defeat. i hate feeling like this - powerless. lonely. it’s so damn miserable.
“i don’t get what exactly? jax, you do understand that i’m not like you, right. i cant feel the same.. complicated emotions that you do. i can feel happy, sad, angry. but i cant feel love, disappointment and other things like that! i can fake those feelings, if that would help you feel better? my goal as your ringmaster is—“
“that wouldn’t be the same. i don’t want you to fake anything. i want something.. real. but i also want you- and you’re not.. man, this blows.” i put my hands over my face, letting out a loud groan of frustration.
“but jax, like i said, i’m not re-“
“I JUST SAID THAT— do you even f**king LISTEN!? i know you’re not real. you’re not human and it’s ruining my GODDAMNED LIFE. so, i just gotta be miserable forever, because my needs don’t add up, and i cant get what i want. as usual. i never f**king get what i want, no matter what i do, and i’m sick of it.” i yell, interrupting him. i wasn’t sure when the tears started falling down my face, but when i regained my senses, my face was wet.
“jax— jax, im sorry! im sorry, but i don’t understand your feelings!! it’s not within my capabilities.. have you considered talking to..”
“none of the others like me-!! none of them take me seriously, none of them give a damn about me because i’m jax. i cause problems for everyone, and now i’m reaping the consequences. they all hate me. and guess what? i’m starting to hate myself too.”
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thanks for the request!!!! this was so fun to write.. i’ve never actually thought about this ship before, but one-sided bunnyteeth is actually really interesting!!/pos
reblogs appreciated!!
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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There were several cut bits in movies (and not cut bits in some comics I believe) of people stuck in the hive, quite literally turning into hive material even. And well, Bruce fell down in the caves at one point. Who knows if maybe there's bits still in his blood, and then well, exposure to the Lazarus pits (either the one under Gotham or the LOA's or even both) could honestly cause a reaction.
Or maybe he was always a hybrid, maybe his parents couldn't have kids for some reason and either made a test tube baby with a bit of extra stuff or they found him in a pod in their yard a la Kent style.
Oh it's a good question on if the xenos are an established species. It'd be fun if they were, even if it's like, thought to be extinct or only on one or two planets heavily regulated. All the GL and aliens are definitely freaking out while Supes is just ??? He's my friend, a grumpy dude sure, but he's chill. Promised to murder me if I go evil which is great!
OH perhaps they have bands or something that forms an illusion for fully human form or something. Maybe they eventually develop the ability to fully change into a xeno, who knows lol. Gosh I love the idea of Alfred being just a normal highly competent dude scolding these very deadly creaturs about manners and them listening. Sure his son and grandchildren aren't human but that's not going to stop him.
Absolutely adore the idea of Bruce going from drone to warrior to praetorian to queen/king over time. Also love the idea of them all fucking with the goons and being terrifying.
Slowly rotating xenomorph batfam, either full blown xenomorph or similar to several experiments are some sort of xeno hybrids- probably with human but there's also been other types too.
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baldandgay · 1 year ago
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It's very unfair that I can't have other party members romance each other In my main game where my Tav is in a romance with Karlach I should legally be allowed to have Gale and Astarion and Shadowheart and Lae'zel romance each other like why? let me do it damn it
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wutheringmights · 10 months ago
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also i really shouldn't have written stp because now i have a million ideas for spirit's adventures in new hyrule that I will never have time to actually write :((
#i freely admit that the whole 'spirit met jean at work' thing was an on the fly idea i didn't put much thought into#and then when i was writing stp i impulsively added that bit about jean and linebeck being family friends and you know what? that changes#things. like jean and spirit totally had to have known each other really well before they dated#and that thought has led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about who spirit dated before jean. and i know spirit was a serial dater before#jean (and would try to change his personality to make his partner like him more) but now i have a specific idea about Spirit's horrible#situationship before jean that is making me crazy (hint: spirit pulled a warriors and found someone who reminded him of warriors in the#worst way possible)#and i knew before stp that jean was a very calm person if only to highlight how over it he had to be to dump spirit after 6 months of his#bullshit BUT now that jean feels like a real character i kinda understand how much spirit would have been attracted to jean's stability#and how jean is this caring family guy and how much spirit would both want that stability for himself while feeling so insecure about#not needing to fight jean all the time or not needing to change himself to be someone jean liked that he would pick fights because#spirit is self destructive like hell and if his life and happiness is going to be destroyed no matter what he might as well do it himself#like god. goddamn.#you know the way everyone was obsessed about ickywars after i first brought it up? that's about i feel about jean and spirit#and i'm the only one who cares :)#me rambling#lu ctb
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sskk-manifesto · 3 months ago
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(。・ω・。)ノ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
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ryoukio · 1 year ago
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weskennedy au where leon and wesker are at the same beach for windsurfing/kitesurfing/wingdinging idk which one yet and leon is, really bad at it.....
Wesker offers to teach him out of pity because its both entertaining and incredibly frustrating watching him try not to drown.
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designernishiki · 1 year ago
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just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.
tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.
#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem#like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead#but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of#torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally#years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense#that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him#via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like#and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but#he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling#apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually#his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts.#I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but#he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble#anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah#rambling#y6#majima#kazumaji
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unriding · 2 months ago
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Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:
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Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)
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In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.
You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.
One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.
He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.
"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"
"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.
You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.
And this is when you start noticing it.
Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.
Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.
He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.
Please don't think of him badly.
Moze truly means well.
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#🐦‍⬛🐕 .#彡 cy!#彡 inbox.#彡 cherishing.#excuse me cy 🥹🥹🥹 you wrote a drabble based off a vague little post i made about moze 🥺🥺 HOW WILL I EVER THANK YOU 🥺🥺 that is so sweet ?! ?!#600+ words ?!?! CY !!!!!! THANK YOU ?!?????!!!!!! IM IN SHOCK /pos IM STARING AT MY SCREEN LIKE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOURE SO KIND YOURE SO SO SO KIND !!!!#‘you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies’ HANSNDJDN i want to be his dog 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ and !! i have to say — the energy rush a#him is so real T T HE IS JUST SO FUN HES SO SWEET HES so awesome he’s so lovable — zoomies is inevitable with mr shadow guard of the yaoqin#im smiling so hard at the ‘you were quite literally everywhere’ AAAAAEEEE there is much to explore !!! THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGH IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#THE CARRYING THE BOX SCENE ?!???!???? this reminds me of one of previous jobs i had ajanskdkxk YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO SEE . YOU CAN PEER#AROUND THE BOX — BUT MOZE SEEING ME IN SUCH A STATE IS SO EMBARRASSING/pos omg he caught me x0x IM BRIGHT RED AT THIS THOUGHT SHSNJDCJ also#cy !!! i will say that i love your writing and you put down your thoughts ….. this is such a cute read and my heart is so soft reading this#truly truly thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write something as sweet as this for me ?!?! i am so blown away and so#thankful AND SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY oh )))): thank you thank you thank you thank you cy!!!! i adore you infinitely 🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍#NOOOOO HE DOESNT NEED TO HELP ME CARRY IT ALL THE WAY THERE 🥹🥹🥹 SURELY SUCH A THING IS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION#even if it was i would feel bad !!! T T oh my god please cy this image of him insistently that he’ll help is making me so red /pos he’s so#sweet ))): OH MY GOD AND THE RAMBLING SJSNSNDKXKKS IM REALLY SO RED AND FLUSTERED READING FHIS SKNSNDNX HES LISTENING TO IT 😭😭😭 HE IS#PERCEIVING ME 😭😭😭😭 but i do think my nervous chatter would activate in his presence — oh cy that would be so awful — to talk and talk and#talk his ear off :’) OMG OMG HE ALREADY TOLD JIAOQIU 😭😭😭 SAVIOR MOZE life saver moze i am indebted !!! TWICE NOW . THE BOX AND NOW THIS#him feeling proud ?! 🥹🥹 there is much more for him to feel proud about ! for example — how resilient he is / how strong he is / how kind he#is / how … i should not continue HIM KNOWING WHAT SKINCARE PRODUCTS I USE ????????? AND CHECKING WHEN IT RUNS LOW ??? ))))))): AND THE REMI#REMINDERS * MEAN SO MUCH TO ME OH CY ))): YOU ARE TOO TOO TOO KIND IM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A GIFT insjdjxnj ))): cy !!!!!!!!!!#THE DESSERT …. I LOVE CINNAMON OR LEMON DESSERTS …… oh he is ))): he is too kind )): YOU!! ARE TOO KIND CY !!!!!! I WILL SOB INTO MY HANDS#BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND )))): !!!! omg ))):#HE IS SO SWEET . HE MEANS WELL ???? I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!! i think i would genuinely burst into#tears thinking about him doing anything for me to :’) ease up some days :’) IM JUST :’) this is so thoughtful and so :’) im so incoherent a#and these tags are so messy — im just so happy and have read this like ten times over !! and go -> 🥹🥹 each and every time#thank you cy !!! ): from the very bottom of my heart!!!! you are such a skilled writer and you have such a kind heart#i saw your post about drabbles for friends and oh — im hugging you so tight — thank you for being so sweet to everyone ): i adore you so mu
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obstinaterixatrix · 9 months ago
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I have a friend whose favorite series is a•t, which, Yknow, I am trying so hard to be polite about having extremely different tastes. but I cherish & support her and when it comes to bday presents I’m either waiting for someone to express a need/want for smth during any time of the year & just buying it & going ‘happy early/late birthday’ OR I’m planning months in advance (& sometimes collaborating w/ folks) for The Perfect Present but I can never bring myself to get something I’m halfhearted on… I’ve been on & off scrolling thru mercari/ebay/amazon/aliexpress and feeling very Eh abt the quality/size/price and was almost close to just getting two small cheap but cute plushies (13 cm & 10 cm :/), then on ebay I saw smth that was 20cm (good size) and actually very cute, but it was like $50 for the plush & $20 for shipping and while I cherish my pal I am not dropping $70 on a plushie (AND ESPECIALLY NOT ON A•T MERCH). so I do a exact match search of the specific brand and find one (1) online store selling it for $20 (incl shipping) (they’re having a 20% off sale). which is suspiciously low so I made sure to look up reviews outside the site & it looks legit, so I’m gonna buy it & hope that even if it’s not legit it’ll be an acceptable quality bootleg, and if it isn’t even that then I still have a month and a half to get one of my backup plans. in a week we’ll see if I get a Perfectionism Win.
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rhineposting · 11 months ago
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saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.
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boatemboys · 10 months ago
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i forgot how much i like ahasbands/redwood?? whatever. theyre so domestic they make me sick
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demadogs · 6 months ago
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im so bad at separating the art from the artist
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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I hate linking videos for whatever reason but the submission box will only let me embed one so. Guess I'll Die. BUT ANYWAY. You can see what I'm talking about here and here (also hiiiii Nakai, Iura, and Terajima) but I think Jo should have Tsutsumi's nervous tics like rubbing his lip and blinking fast :) I think it would be cute :) moe even :) though he doesn't have much to be nervous about :) but I mean once in a blue moon y'know :) OK that's all bye
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OH BUT WAAAAAIT WAVELENGTH i always did imagine jo having a nervous-blinking type of tendency i am AHEAD of you brother (╯▽╰ )(╯▽╰ )
#snap chats#i also imagine jo wets his lip a lot but i think that ones projection. tbh so is the blinking bit#a lot of how my brain perceives/portrays jo is projection tbh but THAT ASIDE#when i get nervous- aside from fidgeting and scratching myself- i blink a lot and lick my lips a lot#BUT I WAS ON TRACK I WAS ON TO SOMETHING......#aka it WOULD be cute it WOULD be moe and im reminded of a thing i accidentally wanted to draw but NAY#ill save that for another time... for now thank you for the tsutsumi clips... hes so cute in the pure interview help (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)#unrelated ramble time. tag's a diary we know the rules#its my eldest sister's birthday today but she's in thailand celebrating her honeymoon#woldnt really matter since we never celebrate her birthday as a family but i just think its funny everyone bar my dad and i are born in jul#(tsutsumi's birthday is the 7th too isnt it... and satoshi tokushige has the same bday as my 2nd older sister..#the fuck is with everyone being born in july we GET IT ANYWAY)#my bro's birthday is tomorrow but he wants to celebrate it with my mom too and I Cant Do That SOOOO#i just got us lunch for today since im just gonna hide at the mall all day tomorrow. prob get him an Im Sorry/Happy Birthday gift too#BUUUUT FOR TODAY we went to some cajun chicken place/liquor store/some other shit it was onea them 3-in-1 bitches#(i also got us ice cream but whatever. small detail. except he got an icee so it kept DRIPPING ON ME in the CAR WHATEVER#the things we do for the fam when we have to ditch them on their birthday its what i deserve (╯x╰ ;;;;) )#and MAAAAAN this chicken's good.... i didnt think id get any good chicken like this where i live but EPIC#THEY ALSO HAD MY FAVE SOJU BRAND. ANOTHER THING I DIDNT EXPECT#highkey its my fave cause... Big Surprise my dad used to get me it all the time. was that responsible of him Prob Not but anyway#epic day for me.... ok thats enough of my rambling BYE BYE BYE#ima work on the One (1) comm i gotta do and then uhhh i sholud PRROOBBB redo my comm sheet but ill do that at the mall#i dont need to be seen drawing middle aged yuri in public ☠️☠️#ok bye bye ima eat this chicken
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ofstoriesandstardust · 5 months ago
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i went through old photo books tonight and i have thoughts i need to get out but no one to share them with so im putting them here
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sskk-manifesto · 7 months ago
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Ep 9 ! :)
#I feel like I really got not much to say about this one.#The whole Kunikida deal with witnessing the child die has always left me ://#It's just always felt... Unnecessarily cruel to me. Wow the world is unforgiving and life is nothing but suffering. Okay#You know it does have to do with everything else I don't agree with about bsd's core morals. The nihilism and everything.#But like it is what it is I'm not dwelling much on it for the most part.#It's chapter 76 Teruko saying “In this world‚ being ‘desperate’ means relatively little. /So welcome to our world./”#I'm just not used to believe there's such a thing as no-win scenarios. But I suppose that's naivety on my end#Btw‚ up to this moment‚ I've ALWAYS thought all the kids died in the explosion.#And I'm only now realizing it was only the little one with the granades on their neck? That doesn't make it any less horrible‚ but at least#to know the others survived is a relief.#(Btw how the hell did Kunikda survive?? He was literally running towards three granades. Or maybe I'm not familiar with weapons power idk?)#In a way this arc reminds me a lot of t/pn. The little kids with guns. The break out and break in. Idk.#What else. I like Tanizaki he's a funny character.#I wish we'd see more of Atsushi actually... Do things#I love. Love Kouyou's character and I think her relationship with Kyouka is so compelling.#In this episode I really like how Kyouka seemingly took advantage of Kouoyou's unwillingness to harm her and by extension Tanizaki.#It's very smart.#I like how much emphasis is put on Demon Snow and Golden Demons being... Really powerful abilities. It made me feel like another reason–#why Kouyou hasn't shown up for half manga now is a Chuuya-esque kind of being too powerful–#their existence would defeat any plot obstacle lol#Next episode! There's gonna be my favourite scene in the whole manga :)#random rambles#Almost forgot. When I say b/sd is racist...#It's not only that every single foreigner is by definition a villain.#It's Kunikida saying “He was born abroad‚ but he grew up here. It's not unusual here‚ in this crucible of ability user criminals.”#Which sounds pretty much like saying that everyone coming from abroad must automatically be a criminal. Which.#Yikes
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king-sassy08 · 5 months ago
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I'm back at it again, unfortunately
#jay jabbers#why does she always have to tell me his girlfriend looks like me. WHY#ive never seen her or met her but apparently EVERYONE thinks she looks like me and is some kind of substitute for me#TRUTH BE TOLD im right fucking here!!!!!!#yes I'm obsessed with him yes im in love with him#yes i know he doesnt like me back yes it is shattering me from the inside out yes i can feel myself slowly dying#yes i am aware that finding out he has a girlfriend was the beginning of a downward spiral over the summer that led me to be more depressed#than ive been in a Fucking While#i know we would never work i know we're too different but i would so desperately want us to work if it ever came to that#but i know it would never fucking happen#but#theres so much that SHE has fhat i dont#im disabled shes not im ugly shes not im fucking crippled for life shes not#im depressed anxious ocd shes not#shes skinny im not#were both from mexico apparently we fucking look alike byt shes smart and she doesnt have the fucking range of issues i have#ive told him far too much about whats wrong with me which. is another reason we could never work#she probably doesn't have anything wrong with her and if she does then shes never told him like i have#and of course the big one i give off a distinct air of queerness and most people think im a lesbian#i want to transition and get top surgery and a hysterectomy and be a handsome man named jared#i want a fucking beard and short hair and to be me and GAY!!!!!#meanwhile shes a fucken girl and he would never go for fucking some half baked wanna be fag#idfk. im tired and i like him and he doesnt like me back and i dont wsnt to be reminded of it#jay rambles
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