rhineposting

[rhineposting]

Thinking about Och-Kan ; more specifically his mother.

Yes, I am well aware that he was most likely a test tube baby or one of the first ever homunculi, but let me dream about a woman that may or may not have existed.

So, let's start with a name I thought for her: Ix Chi'ibal Atlatl which, unless the dictionary I found online lied to me, means something along the lines of Lady of the Spear's Sting ; or more accurately, Bite, daughter of Spear. Allegiance wise, I think she might've been a part of a wandering lesser tribe that dispersed and dissolved into other six tribes later on.

As for her personality? Like her name implies, I feel like she had a certain bite. If Och-Kan inherited being arrogant and an idealist from Kukulkan, then I like to imagine from Chi'ibal he got his sternness and fierceness. I imagine her to have been a very firm, grounded and straightforward woman, no nonsense from her - which might've made her rather unpopular in her circles.

Appearance wise? Until he started transforming, I think Och-Kan was a carbon copy of her. Almost black purple hair, a strong and vaguely androgynous face and a tall and athletic, albeit a bit lean, body.

Oh yeah, and the hips. He got those from her.

How did she end up in Kukulkan's company?

This is purely headcanon theory, based on little to nothing, but I think that when he first decided to experiment with humanity in order to create a perfect Sovereign, he first sent an order for each of the tribes to choose one woman to be sent to the city of Tollan, and Chi'ibal on account of her unpleasant personality was one of the chosen. Understandably, she didn't quite like that turn of events, so when she finally came to be face to face with Kukulkan, she politely told him exactly what she thinks of him and his kind.

Thus, Kukulkan extended towards her the proposition of an union, the fruit of which would bring mankind to glory and uproot the decaying order of the dragons. The union, of course, being only metaphorical, as Chi'ibal had no love for Kukulkan and in turn, Kukulkan despite everything didn't see her as equal enough to mate. The union was also one of convenience, akin more to a conspiracy or an alliance than a seedbed for a family. Not that there would ever be a family - because Kukulkan made it abundantly clear that for all their child would know, she never existed at all, nor would she get to raise it and see it grow. Why, for all the two of them knew, she might've never seen the results of this plan within her lifetime.

Still, she accepted the terms, as she firmly believed that it would ultimately be worth it, if the payoff would be reshaping the world's order where mankind's birthright was inferiority. And if it didn't work? Thankfully, by then it wouldn't be her problem.

...Or at least that's my take. I don't know man, I just really like taking characters and then wondering what their parents might've been like.

[rhineposting]

On that note, there's this weird misconception regarding Spinky McHotman and his fellow cast members, such as Hairry Jigglybutt, Dainty Archback and Dadbod O'Gruff. Mainly, that according to every single X Reader, they all have been bestowed with large equipment, even though the source material clearly states they're all of greatly varied shapes and sizes.

"Dainty Archback sinks his thick, 8 inch long cock into y-" He's severely malnourished and 150 cm tall. He would not be gifted with nethers the size of his forearm.

"Hairry Jigglybutt spears you on his huge-" Reading the source material with closed eyes again, are we? If you didn't skim through the dialogue for the bare minimum of characterization, you'd know Hairry Jigglybutt complained about being ungifted on three different occasions.

"Dadbod O'Gruff-" He's gay. Like looked at the screen and said "I love sucking dick." gay. I am calling your mother right now to have your keyboard taken away and replaced with a re-run of basic ABCs. Either you genuinely can't read or you cannot fathom the existence of gay men.

" X Reader" is such a fascinating sub-genre of fictional romance, especially on Tumblr.

You crack open a character tag and you scroll down a bit, and in less than five minutes you'll find a beautifully embellished post with custom separators and HTML coded text and fonts. The title? Spinky McHotman Fucks You At a Wendy's.

Then, when you open it, you're faced with the most unimaginative, generic and eye-roll worthy slop of a smut you could ever think of. You check again to make sure the writing is actually about Spinky McHotman, because his lines sound like they were written by an underpaid porn screenwriter and acted out by an even more underpaid porn actor. The tags match, it clearly says spinky mchotman x reader.

So, severely disappointed, you scroll for...A grand total of a minute and a half at most, before you're met with an almost identical post. You check the blog just to make sure it's not the same author, but no. It's actually an entirely different person who happens to use the exact same embellishments and the likes. You read this one too out of curiosity, and somehow this is even worse. It reads like a child who just learned the words for genitalia, plagiarizing a Harlequin story from memory after skimming through it for ten minutes before mom came in. Spiky McHotman sounds like a cardboard cutout with sentient family jewels taped to it.

You continue to scroll some more, and you find a blog that specialises in writing X readers for requests. One request seems... Actually interesting, anon might be onto something! And who knows, maybe the blog owner used the idea creatively and oh no, it's just more horny slop. The actual interesting parts of the idea are barely elaborated upon, almost as if the writer was in physical pain writing about something other than sex onomatopoeia and genitalia descriptors for more than two minutes. The rest of the story is more poorly written, generic smut.

Tired, you check the blog, out of exasperated boredom.

Turns out, the writer isn't even in the fandom Spinky McHotman originates from, so their perception of him is based on other fanfics of him. They post 3 x readers daily, and all of them follow the exact same formula, the only changes being in names and places. Each post has a 100 likes at the minimum.

Desperate, you scroll for a little longer, before you officially give up. You ask God to give you a sign of some kind - and moments after, you see it. The sign itself, louder and clearer than an infant's first cry :

Yandere!Spinky McHotman Kidnaps Fem!Reader At A Wendy's

But Spinky McHotman is heavily implied to be a gay man in canon, you remember while recovering from the psychic flash bang.

[rhineposting]

panel version of my recent golden kamuy scene remake

[rhineposting]

anyways guys how's it going my sister threw a tantrum in class because her history teacher taught about the holocaust and threatened to throw a chair at him when he wouldn't change the subject, and then came home and had my poor mother pack her bags for her trip. she's almost nineteen by the way.

funny thing about being an older sibling of someone disabled/neurodivergent is that you can never be sure of anything, and your life is never truly yours.

your early childhood kinda happens off stage. with all eyes on your sibling, no one really remembers you until you forget your first and only responsibility is to be as low maintenance as possible, then you're a burden. god help you if you're also neurodivergent but not enough for it to actually matter to those around you. then you're the worst thing to have happened to your parents.

your later childhood gets even funnier. as soon as you're old enough (per your parents' decision) you became your sibling's obligatory playmate, guide, translator, bodyguard and second or third parent. except god forbid you don't want to take them out for a walk where you'll constantly need to have eyes all around your head, or you get scared when other children start bullying you by association, or you want to discipline your sibling when their behavior is actually harmful.

then you're just as bad as the people bullying them for refusing to understand that you're actually privileged to be your sibling's lady in waiting and not acting like it.

then, when you step into adulthood, you expect things to finally improve. except they don't. your sibling likely won't have a proper education or a decent job because of their dysfunctions that the system simply never considered. you sit there, listening to your parents wondering how they're going to care for your sibling once they're elderly, because they likely will be incapable of caring for themselves ever. they're scared, and so you're too scared to think about your future, to plan anything, in case you need to drop everything once again to catch them.

isn't it funny? how through just being born, this person that should've been one of your best friends has stolen your past, present and future. and they're not even doing anything with it. they just exist.

[rhineposting]

funny thing about being an older sibling of someone disabled/neurodivergent is that you can never be sure of anything, and your life is never truly yours.

your early childhood kinda happens off stage. with all eyes on your sibling, no one really remembers you until you forget your first and only responsibility is to be as low maintenance as possible, then you're a burden. god help you if you're also neurodivergent but not enough for it to actually matter to those around you. then you're the worst thing to have happened to your parents.

your later childhood gets even funnier. as soon as you're old enough (per your parents' decision) you became your sibling's obligatory playmate, guide, translator, bodyguard and second or third parent. except god forbid you don't want to take them out for a walk where you'll constantly need to have eyes all around your head, or you get scared when other children start bullying you by association, or you want to discipline your sibling when their behavior is actually harmful.

then you're just as bad as the people bullying them for refusing to understand that you're actually privileged to be your sibling's lady in waiting and not acting like it.

then, when you step into adulthood, you expect things to finally improve. except they don't. your sibling likely won't have a proper education or a decent job because of their dysfunctions that the system simply never considered. you sit there, listening to your parents wondering how they're going to care for your sibling once they're elderly, because they likely will be incapable of caring for themselves ever. they're scared, and so you're too scared to think about your future, to plan anything, in case you need to drop everything once again to catch them.

isn't it funny? how through just being born, this person that should've been one of your best friends has stolen your past, present and future. and they're not even doing anything with it. they just exist.

[rhineposting]

remade that one golden kamuy scene but with team xbalanque reconsidering yupanqui as a team member after he didn't return to camp after 4 hours

[rhineposting]

Fuck it.

Modern AU Team Xbalanque/Natlan First Council or in this case, Natlan Power Rangers from a while ago : in which Xbalanque decides he's not very happy with the socio-economic climate of Natlan caused by the long living dragon oligarchy and crime syndicates, so he decided to Vento Aureo his way to a coup before graduating high school to then easily become president at 34.

Oh yeah, I'd suggest opening the image for more details. Like Yupanqui's crocs.

[rhineposting]

i miss my khaenri'ahn ocs that don't actually really contribute anything to the world and the majority of them are dead as hell. i miss them a lot.

[rhineposting]

wow! your understanding of this character is so. . . Unique! just wondering by the way but when was the last time you directly interacted with the source media

[rhineposting]

consider, perhaps, that not every post is Made For You, and that's ok! not every space is Made For You. not everything belongs to you; there are some things that aren't yours to take or to weigh in on, and that's okay! the conversation is not always About You or For You. not everything needs to be for, or about you.

and just because you can reblog adding a shitty/inflammatory comment, doesn't mean you should. sometimes, the tried and true art of Making Your Own Fucking Post is the best way to approach things.

[rhineposting]

Commision info!

Hi! I've never really done this before so apologies if I fumble a bit. I'm Lex (lexbiini on AO3) and I just graduated uni for creative writing. However, entry level employment opportunities in this field are... scarce (both for writing and copy editing). I am doing a ton of unpaid work rn and love every second of it, but unfortunately work experience doesn't really pay the bills by itself.

This is why I'm opening writing and editing/beta reading commissions!

SLOTS OPEN: Writing - 3 | Editing - 4

I will open five comm slots at a time for WRITING and EDITING

For writing:

Three slots at a time

One-shots only

$5 / 100 words

I'll write for any fandoms I've written for before (check my AO3 or my writing blog), as well as The Magnus Archives/Protocol, Good Omens, Heartstopper, all TAZ campaigns, Red Valley, Steven Universe, The Owl House, or mostly any other fandom you've seen me be insane about on this blog before

I am also willing to ghostwrite (being very loose with the term)/write short(...ish) pieces about your OCs! If you have the time and energy to come infodump at me about the blorbos from your brain, I am willing to listen and write about them!

I'll write most things (fluff, angst, character death, hurt/comfort, AU), but hard don'ts are NSFW, adult/minor or incest ships and excessive gore. I also reserve the right to just say no if a particular commission makes me uncomfortable.

Please DM me to reserve a slot and discuss your commission!

For editing and beta reading:

Four slots at a time

$2 / page (approx. 400 words counting with Times New Roman 12pt 1.5 space bc yes I am That Guy)

After 2,000 words $1 / page (So $10 for the first 2k and $1/page after that)

For editing and beta reading, fandom is less restrictive. Given, the less I know a fandom, the less characterization/story comments I can provide, but I will basically copy edit anything for spelling, grammar, syntax, story structure and formatting (I have a lot of fiction and nonfiction workshop experience!)

Again, please DM me to reserve a slot!

Payment through Ko-fi (and if you just wanna leave a little tip for the stuff i make you can also do that there<3)

If you have any further questions about comms, feel free to dm me!

[rhineposting]

mark my words. one of these days tales will become the subject 2 fandom equivalent of deep sea encore.

five years from now on, someone will make fanart, and the first comment will be asking "is this is that one fic where subject 2 is kidnapped by the fatui" and the op will gleefully confirm. sprout will sit at the same table as merman freminet, blonde hero omori and sad peepaw belos. he'll become a niche inside joke. an icon of a movement. a symbol.

then, at last, someone i inconvenienced once will come out of the woodwork to tell everyone I supported the patriarchy and watched a few episodes of hazbin hotel once. I will wake up to hate mail in my inbox or DMs, and it'll mean I've finally made it as a creator.

anyways guys you should really watch or read golden kamuy.

[rhineposting]

Guys I wanna see something

reblog for a bigger sample size!

[rhineposting]

Wow, this animatic I posted a year ago sure got real funny with the context of Chapter 14 in mind!

PAD THAI - Genshin Impact/Tales of a Sprout Animatic

[rhineposting]

gee I wonder

It's more of a lifestyle. That's my destiny. What more could I do?

[rhineposting]

Chapter 14 - The Jester

At last, the master of the Palace and servant to the Goddess of Love had summoned the Prince to himself. Coveting his loyalty, the Jester imparted upon him the knowledge of their shared origin in the Kingdom far away, in hopes of swaying the Prince's love to his and his Lady's side, presenting him with all that he ever wanted : freedom, great renown, power and above all, a name. And the Prince, as faithful as he was unwise, declined the offer oh so genereous, and for what?

Behold! The special episode of the Sprout Show!

[rhineposting]

Chapter 14 - The Jester

At last, the master of the Palace and servant to the Goddess of Love had summoned the Prince to himself. Coveting his loyalty, the Jester imparted upon him the knowledge of their shared origin in the Kingdom far away, in hopes of swaying the Prince's love to his and his Lady's side, presenting him with all that he ever wanted : freedom, great renown, power and above all, a name. And the Prince, as faithful as he was unwise, declined the offer oh so genereous, and for what?

Behold! The special episode of the Sprout Show!