#i want a fucking beard and short hair and to be me and GAY!!!!!

[king-sassy08]

I'm back at it again, unfortunately

[onelittlespiral]

FML:Relax

From the moment I arrived, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I had come on vacation to kick back for a few days and get some action, but the resort had nearly no women and was instead populated with almost all men. They seemed like nice guys when I talked to them, certainly my kind of guys with how jacked they were. Or at least I thought so.

“Hey cutie, wanna come spend some time with daddy?”

“A newbie! Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle and sweet with you.”

“You looking to top or bottom?”

I realized I must have come on the Gay Days, and the men there were not shy about coming on to me. I tried to politely excuse myself whenever they turned the topic to sex. I spent a lot of time at the pool trying to just relax and have a good time, but it was starting to tick me off.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you here before.”

A man came and sat next to me. He was a scruffy guy, tanned and huge like most of the rest of them. The scent of sunscreen and BO rolled off him. His arms were wrapped in some nerdy tattoos but their size clearly showed he worked out hard. If he wasn’t here this week I would assume him to be a good pick for a gym bud.

“Yeah, first time. Didn’t realize I booked…uh…this week. Not really my scene.”

Something in his demeanor changed. It was hard to describe, but I felt a lot more at ease. He leaned over and began whisper to me,

“If I’m being honest. It isn’t much for me either. But fuck these gay guys know how to party. They’ve got just about anything you could want to take, and basically just pass the shit around. You ever actually tried poppers? I was fucked up bro.”

Maybe it was finally meeting another straight guy but I began relaxing.

He continued, “I got some stashed if you want to swing by and try some shit out.”

Maybe this vacation wouldn’t be such a wash.

I stopped by his room later that afternoon. He greeted me at the door and invited me in as he promised to show off the goods. The room was trashed. The floor was strewn with dirty shirts, shorts, and jockstraps. Shot glasses and beers were stuck to the tables. The bed was drenched in sweat. I stepped in and took a seat on the couch, cautions to avoid the mess. He sat down next to me.

“So, what have you got?”

“You now babe,” he said, throwing his arm in the air.

“Whaaaa…haaa” I started before my brain was afloat.

I slowly leaned forward, drawn in by the thick musk that radiated from his pit. I tried to resist but soon my nose was pressed against it as his sweat filled my brain. I tried to pull back but he rested his arm against the back of my head, pinning me as my brain shut down on the fumes. It wasn’t long before my tongue lolled out of my mouth.

“There you go. Relax. Good boy.”

Good boy. It echoed in my brain, bouncing till it was the only thought left. I quivered in anticipation as I continued to drink in his scent and let his hair tickle my face.

“Yeah, lap it up big boy. This is right where you belong. It was designed just for you, to trap guys and help them fit in a bit more.”

What did he mean by that? But as he told me to lap it up, it was no longer good enough to just smell. I gave a hesitant lick. It only took one as his sweat swam across my mind. All functionality shut down as I worshipped that pit. As I did, I began to feel a change. Deep within an itch, a need developed. A need to be desired by this man… no. To be desired by men. Any who would have me. I felt a new power flow through me, a revitalized energy and strength. He pulled my dumbstruck face out of his pit and gave my hair a quick tousle. His hand glided down my cheek to my chin, and with a firm flick of his wrist pulled my lips to his. He pressed my face to his in a deep kiss as new memories filled my mind. Memories of long nights dancing and drinking at bars. Days working out getting shredded before hitting the sauna for some fun. Of pride parades and glitter in my beard. The longer he kissed me the more I felt myself grow completely comfortable in his arms. I belonged here, with all the hottest guys living it up for a week at the resort. I had been coming here for years to show off, party hard, and fuck into the early morning. My old self was being flushed away, leaking out of my cock, while the new personality filled in the gaps.

My body began to change where his hands brushed over my body. Arms swelled as biceps grew to mounds on my arms. Pecs hung heavy with muscle. Thighs and legs sent slow rips through my shorts until they had burst through, leaving my swelling cock to fight the jockstrap underneath. Feet inched across the floor as my toes curled from the strain. Every inch writhed beneath his touch. He pulled me back to inspect me.

“Damn you’re turning out well, some of my finest work.”

I mumbled in agreement, still stuck in a state of ecstasy as I felt new power surging through me. “Time to seal the deal.”

He slid his jock down, and the full force of his sweat and musk sent my brain swimming. I couldn’t resist as he slid his cock down my open throat, balls deep, and began face fucking me. As his bush filled my nostrils, pre slid down my throat in a steady stream. I felt warm all over, as a deep tan set in. I had come to this resort for years and loved sunbathing and showing off my muscles. The heat persisted, turning to a sweat, the sweat turning to a deep funk. It was the same smell invading my mind and body as he continued to thrust, deeper as my body adjusted to years of sucking men off. It felt like no surprise as a dusting of hair covered my pecs, then pushed down my stomach before my shaved down bush exploded. My pits filled in to better capture my own smell, and keep me just a little high on my own supply.

“Fuck yeah little bro, you’re gonna be so good out there.”

He slipped a hat over my head, and my mind filled with a new purpose. To kick back at this resort and fucking party. To feel pride in who I was and become one of the community. But, most importantly, to grow the tribe and bring more guys into the fold. I felt his cock tense in my mouth as my mind slowed down to accept my place as a gay god, to worship my bros and be worshiped. As thick ropes shot down my throat, I felt strong. I smelt rank. And I was fucking home.

The next day, a new guy showed up to the resort. Skinny, shy, out of place. I came over to talk with him.

“First time here, bro?”

“Yeah, not quite sure I belong.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. Throwing my arm behind my head. My musk caught his attention as his eyes began glazing over, “Why don’t I show you around?”

“Ye…yeah…yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” his face was soon resting in my pit, and I saw his muscles twitch with anticipation, “you’re gonna fit right in bro.”

[octuscle]

Pride fare

Dmitri and Igor stared at the young man with the pink hair like they would stare at a disgusting insect. It was brave of Austrian Airlines to place such a faggot at Istanbul's not exactly gay-friendly airport. And God knows Dmitri and Igor weren't exactly gay-friendly either. The two were the perfect example of nouveau riche Russians. They liked to pose as oligarchs to impress women. In fact, they were rich. But oligarchs? Not at all. But who cared. The two of them had several million in accounts all over the world. Unfortunately, most of them were currently frozen. But they had enough cash with them to look forward to a fun weekend in Vienna. Getting here had been hell. The two of them mourned the days of direct flights. But the special military operation was important and just. Quite different from the reaction of the decant West to this very operation.

Max looked at the two gentlemen who wanted to check in with him. Expensive, but tastelessly dressed. Overweight. Probably over 50, but you couldn't see that very well because both were obviously lifted. Max wouldn't blow one of these two pigs for any money in the world. But Max was a professional. And remained polite. "You two sweeties, you do know that the Pride special rate is only valid for people up to 21, right?" Dmitri grunted something about "I'm not cute, you miserable faggot." But luckily Max didn't speak Russian. "No problem, you two lovebirds, I just need to adjust a few little things." Max typed on the keyboard of his computer. "There, now everything should fit. Which one of you is Dima? I'd like your suitcase." Dmitri was about to get loud and snap at this asshole, what could he think of! Dima might have been what his mother said to him. But not some smug asshole. He took a breath. And thought that Max was actually kind of cute. So he picked up his suitcase, covered in rainbow and leather-pride stickers, and heaved it onto the baggage carousel. "And, darling! What's your boyfriend's name? I assume you want to sit next to each other." "Next to Igarjok? No thanks! Set us apart. That increases the chance that we'll meet someone hot on board." "I'm very sorry," said Max with a twinkle in his eye. "But no one who checked in with me today was really hot." "Okay, I'll go first then," said Igor, heaving his studded travel bag onto the baggage carousel. Max smiled with mock agony. Yes, the man Dima had called Igarjok didn't look bad for his age. According to his ID, he was 48, but hot… Max had seen better. He handed them their rainbow-flag-colored boarding passes and wished them a good flight and lots of fun at Vienna Pride Week.

The two took their hand luggage. Dmitri had a black leather rucksack, Igor a small antique army duffel bag from the Soviet navy. Dmitri called out to Igor that he should go ahead, he wanted to take a quick piss. Igor nodded and made his way to the security checkpoint. And Dmitri went to the nearest toilet. He had hoped to find a quick fuck there. He was always horny. In the airport toilets, there was a good chance of meeting a tight Turk. And if he waved a few dollar bills, Dmitri could be sure that he wouldn't have to wait long for someone to kneel in front of him and suck his cock… And damn, the hot Turkish macho was worth every penny! Dmitri briefly checked his reflection in the mirror. The short hair, the beard shadow on the angular face, the leather jacket. Yes, he was pretty good-looking for a man in his mid-40s. It was a privilege to be allowed to suck his cock.

When he arrived in the queue for the security check, he grinned. Igor was only ten, maybe 15 people ahead of him in the queue, obviously he had also made a toilet stop. It was hot to see Igor in front of him. Igor had one hell of a tight ass. And in the army trousers he was wearing, it really stood out. He knew that. And everyone else saw that. Dmitir could see Igor arriving at the security checkpoint. He took off his bomber jacket and showed off his muscles under his tight T-shirt. He took off his studded belt, put everything in the plastic tray and went through the body scanner. It sounded the alarm. Dmitri had an idea why and grinned. Igor grinned too as he was scanned by the muscular security guard. Amazingly thorough in the crotch area. Of course, Dmitri couldn't hear anything, but obviously the security guard demanded that Igor take his plastic bowl and come with him. The two of them were lucky!

When Dmitri arrived at the security checkpoint, the employee looked decidedly cool. Dmitri had put his jacket and rucksack in the tray when the officer asked if he had anything else in his pants. He looked very clearly at Dmitri's crotch. Dmitri unbuttoned the top two buttons, enough to show the bush of hair, put his hands in his pants and awkwardly removed the cock ring from his cock and balls. "Sorry, officer, I keep forgetting that," Dmitri said with a grin. Surprisingly, despite his piercings, the body scanner didn't pick up on it. But his rucksack was taken off the conveyor belt after being scanned. The security officer waved him over, pulled his full-body harness out of the backpack and asked what it was. The officer tried unsuccessfully to look cool. "Shall I show you what it is? But I have to take my pants off to do that…" "Come with me!"

Dmitri's body search took place in the same room as Igor's. The two security officers had brought in two more colleagues to back them up. Only by joining forces did the two of them manage to plug all the holes and get on board just in time with the final and urgent call. Igor squeezed into 9E and Dmitri into 6C. Max had gone to great lengths to make them both happy. And indeed, after the two Russian stallions, the hottest guys sat in 6B, 9D and 9F. And the purser had reserved one of the toilets just for them.

At the baggage carousel in Vienna, there was no mistaking that the gays of the world were meeting up for one of their flashiest parties. And Dima and Igarjok were guests of honor at the party. Hardly noticed in the West, it was a sensation in Moscow when the two popular teen soap stars came out. The call-up order came immediately, and the two had only managed to flee to Western Europe in a hasty escape. And it was a huge stroke of luck that they had started making porn due to a lack of money. For them and for millions of fans. They didn't know how many porn magazines they had signed until their luggage arrived. Their driver was waiting outside. A hot guy. Thank goodness. It had been over an hour since their last fuck on the plane.

[possessionisamyth]

Look, listen to me, come closer. Nope, too close, take one step back. Okay, thank you. Now open your ears and hear what I'm saying.

Whole Cake but sanuso, BUT Sanji has fully transitioned via Ivankov and her poster has not been changed from the bad drawing yet. This means when they go to pick up Sanji, the disowned son, they are meeting Sanji the trans woman who cannot marry another woman ala Pudding. Not because of the gay thing, but because Charlotte Linlin expects babies from all her married kids.

Hold on, I'm not done. There's more, but it's below the cut cause I'm nice.

Okay so clown 1 and clown 2 arrive with their convincing arguments or alternative threats ready to go only to see Sanji and immediately call Judge so they can check. Is this the right person? Judge said a son didn't he?

Vito: "You have two daughters?"

Judge: "No. One daughter."

Vito: "There is a woman here calling herself Sanji."

Judge: "Sanji is my bastard son. He has the same eyebrows as the others, and he's blonde."

Both of the retrievers look at Sanji who fits the bill except for being a pissed off looking woman.

Vito: "Uh, you know what. We'll just bring 'Sanji' to you and you can make your best judgement."

Judge: "You'd better."

Sanji arrives. Reiju is doing her absolute best to remain appearing emotionless, but the giggles are being held at bay by a thread because this was the best possible way to get out of this marriage. Sanji the escape artist wins again in her eyes. The tri color brothers? They immediately start laying on the mockery and sexist comments of which Sanji is Not A Fan, but they threatened Zeff, and she needs to see how this is going to play out before doing anything. Judge? Absolutely pissed. He cannot give any of his other sons to Charlotte Linlin because they have actual value in his eyes. He was supposed to be giving the trash away, and the one thing Linlin needs out of any marriage deal is grandchildren. Grandchildren Sanji cannot provide with the one kid Linlin planned to give up ala Pudding.

Judge will either have to figure out a magical de-transition method that is instant (not possible in the time they have left). Give up one of his valuable sons (extremely not wanted). Or lie about Sanji's gender and go through the deal hoping they can get out unscathed until this is "fixed".

They opt to lie. Sanji who kept her hair short, only because longer hair was too much of a hassle in the kitchen, doesn't even have the option to be dysphoric due to the lengths the Vinsmokes are going through to pass her off as a man. Like. It's extremely pathetic. It's sad. It's one of Usopp's "I can't do X disease" level of awful and bad except Usopp's little lies were at least coming from someone cute.

They put a fake beard on her. Reiju is responsible for her make up. Clothes are tailored to hide the obvious curves. Sanji is making every step of this process as difficult as possible. There's nothing no one can do about her voice, though it's only slightly pitched up from before her transition. They tell her not to talk and slap the exploding handcuffs on her to make sure she doesn't. They say she's half mute or something, and Linlin says something like husbands are best seen and not heard. They buy it. They fucking buy it. Sanji isn't sure who's more stupid, the Vinsmokes for putting her through this fluke, or the Charlottes because they fall for it hook line and sinker. Her beard starts to fall off halfway through a meal and they rush her back to her room.

There are multiple mishaps where she's almost "caught", and her brothers are annoyed because they have to put in effort to cover for her unless they want to be auctioned off. Reiju is putting in a lot less effort to cover for her. But Sanji is tired. She is angry. She wants to go home. The fake beard is itchy. The clothes aren't her style. She misses her cute stilettos that Usopp lovingly sharpened the heels on. She is getting some entertainment from making trouble by nearly exposing her 'secret', but it does nothing to ease her worry of the ticking time clock to this farce of a wedding.

Pudding is nice at least. A little touchy, but nice. Sanji is so tempted to compliment the young girl, but the bracelets around her wrists are a very cold reminder not to.

Usually I have more to write where I go over the whole arc with this kind of headcanon, but I don't. Have some snippet ideas.

Usopp yelling out, "What did they do to my babygirl!" in earshot and Sanji giving him the wettest most pathetic sad cat eyes because she loves when Usopp calls her that and she wants TO LEAVE.

Sanji revealing her gender at the altar, and Pudding having a lesbian awakening.

Sanji actually taunting her brothers with a reversal of the sexist commentary they were throwing at her and then saving them.

Hearing multiple Charlotte kids question why Judge lied about having another son, and that they would've accepted a daughter to marry into the family. Some even say a daughter offering might've even prevented the whole assassination attempt thing.

Usopp gently putting Sanji's spiky stilettos on her feet like Cinderella and her prince, and she gets a horrible nosebleed. This happens moments before she's being dragged off to remake the wedding cake.

Pudding is still having the split genuine thirst and fake angry reactions to Sanji where she's just like (thumbs up emoji) in response.

Multiple cut scene styled flashbacks where random Charlotte kids realize Sanji was very obviously a woman, and they'd been too stupid in the moment to pay real attention to her slip ups.

Injured Sanji giving the double middle finger to the Vinsmokes as they part ways.

Luffy seriously asking Sanji why they didn't put her in a wedding dress. Were they too stupid to see she's a girl? He could tell it was really obvious so why didn't they?

Sanji in an irritated voice explaining to Luffy what they put her through, and then placing her hands on her blushing cheeks as she explains she only wants to wear a wedding dress once. She pointedly looks at Usopp and flutters her lashes. Usopp gets all bashful and smiley and starts a whole spiel about how if they got married it'd be way grander than what the Charlottes could come up with. Sanji is swooning. Nami is moments from throwing them both overboard for being way too mushy.

You got that right? Okay, good. Have a nice evening!

[pandafishao3]

TEASER Virgin!Steve

Virgin!Steve is winning the poll, so here is the teaser! Like all these teaser, it'll be posted in its entirety during Kinktober and I am pumped. Enjoy some cutesy kid-next-door and pre-serum virgin Stevie.

WARNING: Steve is underage in this fic. Age unspecified but he's in high school. DLDR.

The new guy next door moved in right when the weather started to turn. It never really got cold where Steve lived, but for the next six months, it would be hot enough for him to be able to walk shirtless in the garden without his mom reminding him to put something on. And to Steve’s great luck, the new guy also seemed to prefer walking around shirtless.

His name was Bucky. Single, no kids and had just bought the house to get away from the stress of the city. Steve had heard him introduce himself to his mom and stepdad as “James, but you can call me Bucky”, and he had immediately tried to find excuses to introduce himself as well. Steve was generally shy, and the fact that he’d skipped a grade in high school hadn’t made it easier for him to make friends, but something about his new neighbour made him very eager to seek contact. They often saw each other over the hedge separating their gardens. Where Steve’s mom had gone for lush green bushes and apples trees, Bucky’s house had a more modern twist with a pool, wooden patio and even a hot tub. It would be a lie to claim that Steve hadn’t put on sunglasses as he laid in a lawn chair and pretended that he wasn’t watching Bucky do strong breast strokes in the pool.

He was gorgeous. There was no other way to put it. Maybe 35, 40 years old, with dark brown hair that fell in waves on top of his head but was kept short in the neck, and a swimmer’s body. The dark hair on his chest and the broadness of his shoulders just screamed ‘grown man’, and Steve was so gone for it. Meanwhile, he was a skinny teen with no muscle to speak of and definitely no beard yet. He didn’t think Bucky would ever notice him.

At least Steve could comfort himself with knowing that his neighbour definitely was gay. Or at least liked men. He wasn’t proud of it, but it just so happened that Bucky’s window was right across Steve’s, and one night when he was up late studying, he had caught the other man drunkenly pulling a guy across his bedroom. They had collapsed on the bed as they heatedly made out, and then Steve had watched with huge eyes as Bucky flipped the guy around, tugged his pants down and buried his face in his ass, eating him out with a fervour. For Steve, who was just about as sexually inexperienced as you could get, this was all new. Despite the extreme fluttering in his stomach (and the embarrassing erection in his pants), Steve hadn’t been able to look away. Whatever Bucky was doing with his tongue, it seemed that his lover for the night really enjoyed it.

What followed after was a very precise, rough fucking – a sight that had Steve both swallowing hard and whimpering. He wanted that, he wanted it so bad, but he also didn’t know if he dared. After Bucky had finished pile driving the guy from behind, Steve sneaked to the mirror and pulled down his own pants. He checked very quietly first if his door was locked, and then bent over to look at his own asshole. It looked pink and very small. He had no idea how a cock would ever fit up there, if he was being honest.

But boy was he willing to try.

It was around two months after Bucky had moved in that they really talked for the first time. Steve had been reading on the lawn one evening as his stepdad was working late and his mom watched that Formula 1 show she liked. On the other side of the hedge, Bucky had been busying himself with trimming the top of it, wearing nothing but a pair of worn down, sun pale denim shorts that hung over his hips in a truly God forbidden way. When he got to the end of the garden furthest from the house, not very far from the apple tree under which Steve sat, he suddenly looked up to give the teen a dazzling smile. Steve almost blushed himself into an early grave. He wasn’t wearing a shirt either, and he hoped that his skinny chest didn’t look too juvenile.

“Hey kid. Whatcha reading?” Bucky asked, still smiling. Steve clumsily dropped the book as he tried to string a sentence together.

“Oh uh uhm, it’s American Gods by Neil Gaiman” he said.

“Come show me” Bucky asked and put down the trimmer. What else could Steve do?

Feeling like Bambi on ice, he wobbled his way to the hedge and held out the book. The hedge itself reached as high up as Bucky’s waist, so a little higher on Steve. With a curious frown, Bucky took it and read the backside before holding it by his side, not giving it back .

“You like books, don’t you?” The question wasn’t teasing, it was just curious.

“How did you know?” Steve nervously smiled in a manner he hoped was flirtatious. Christ, this guy probably just thought he was a silly kid.

But if that was the case, why did he look Steve up and down like that?

“Because I see you out here a lot, and you’ve always got a book in hand” Bucky winked. Steve could hardly breathe as his mind raced oh my god oh my god he’s been noticing me. “You sound like a smart kid, but I do hope you give yourself a break sometimes”

“Sometimes” Steve said meekly, unable to do much but stare at the beautiful man before him.

Bucky looked at him with something in his eyes, something that made Steve’s knees weak. He shrugged in an innocent way that didn’t seem innocent at all, and then looked back up at the teen.

“You could borrow my pool if you want. The water feels really nice in this blasted heat” he said and it was all Steve could do not to whimper. That had to mean something, right? Bucky wouldn’t offer that if he didn’t want him to come over for a swim?

******************************

Aaaand with that cliffhanger I am very sorry to leave you for this time being. In October you can read the whole spicy thing on my Ao3 and I personally cannot wait to post the rest of this almost 10k oneshot!

Credit for the header: Fernanda Paulino on Pinterest.

[orchideous-nox]

So we know Alex's type.... Do you have one?

Oh I know all about Alex's type, the things I could tell you... Alas, I swore not to, so you won't hear a peep from me. Honestly when it comes to me having a type....I want to say no?

Personality wise, I tend to go for nerds, like my exes have all been gamers, one was really into Star Wars and Marvel/DC, one was really into LotR, but they look nothing alike so I can't say there's anything I'm like "that's so attractive to me". If someone rambles about something they really like, there are times when I will just sit there like 😍because passion and excitement for something can be hot as fuck. I like a good beard I guess? Thick thighs, I will melt over some good thighs so put someone in short shorts and I'm gone. And if they have like a bit of a belly going on, like a chubby stomach uggghhhh I'll die. I love a good dilf like Oscar Isaac, Pedro Pascal, Taika Waititi in OMFD when he has a cropped shirt on and it lifts up and you can see his tummy, Michael Sheen as Aziraphale does something to me, Lee Pace in The Hobbit films specifically...actually any man in a white-blonde wig.

I guess I go for more alternative people so piercings, tattoos, I like dyed hair. Muscular women are a weakness for me (which is funny because muscular men give me the ick, idgaf about abs), think Rhea Ripley, Ilona Maher etc, and tall women like Gwendoline Christie and Hannah Waddingham. I'm also incredibly gay for Chappell Roan, Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, Holly Minto from Crawlers, Lupita Nyongo, Anok Yai at the Met Gala this year stole my heart she looked so prettyyyy. Also Danielle Galligan, Jessie Mei Li and Amita Suman from Shadow and Bone. Mhm. Love them.

I feel like this has been very binary so shout out to the non-binary hot people. EMMA FUCKING D'ARCY!!! Their nose is perfection, I love them. Mason Alexander Park specifically as Desire in The Sandman. Vico Ortiz has my heart, Jim in OFMD made me realise some things about knives that I can't go back from.

I guess if I'm being serious, as a demisexual person I find physical attraction very much comes as I get to know them which is why I don't think I have a type.

I also asked Alex if I have a type (he sometimes knows me better than I do) and he just said "hands" and then "pretty hands" when I said hands isn't a type. I guess that's a thing, you will find me watching thirst edits on tiktok of Hozier's hands, this has expanded to Julien Baker and Tom Hiddleston.

Anyway....this ended up being so long and just me trembling about who I find hot, but I hope this gives you want you wanted to know anon?

[fandomfluffandfuck]

being gay is too difficult anon is too right 😔😔 i would give up all my organs to ride nomad steve. I WANT TO RIDE HIM AND HOLD HIS SLUTTY TITS AND LET HIM DESTROY ME 😭😭😭 !!! I WOULD DO ANYTHING THAT MAN TOLD ME TO DO!!! his hair drives me crazy. his beard makes my legs give out. he is a menace, and i want his dick down my throat, NOW...sorry the beard really does something to me. and his waist, don't get me started.

thinking about nomad steve and long-haired bucky just making out and pulling on each other's hair and and ahhhfdhfdh.

- bf showing anon (also, i saw you left some comments on the gifs >_< i still need to look at them, but i'm glad you liked them... i think, hopefully! also, also, i have been thinking about andy and tj again :') they have been on my mind lol)

related to this

We're not alone! ✊🏻Our numbers are great.

For real, though, who doesn't want Chris Evans? Remember that time when the internet was seemingly filled with memes of straight guys saying they'd do or be done by Chris? Can I use that as proof? Either way, I am. He's too powerful with long hair and a beard, and that wasp waist--slaughtering people left and right. It's too much.

Oof, though, you're too fucking right.

Nomad Steve Rogers And Long-Haired Bucky Barnes Pulling Each Other's Hair, Moaning Into The Other's Mouth While Grinding Filthily.

😮‍💨😮‍💨 That mental image is going to make me fucking short circuit.

(No worries, lol, take your time looking at them, I just appreciate you making and sharing them! I did enjoy them 😏) ((Good, we should all always be thinking about them 👀))

[octuscle]

I have always wanted to try some gay bars around my area, yet I have never managed to actually go to one, I don't think I will fit in at all. Yesterday I received a flyer from a local leather bar popular with the older guys about some kind of party tonight. I'm thinking about going but can't manage the courage, is there any way you could help ?

From my own experience, the biggest problem when visiting a leather and fetish club for the first time is not your outfit. You can even come in a pink tooth fairy costume if your attitude is right. Are you unhappy with your body? No problem, if you're still bursting with self-confidence. Once you've got to the point where you're lying in a sling or fucking someone who's lying in a sling, it doesn't really matter what you look like.

Don't worry, I'll make sure you make a grand entrance. It is now 5pm. You're currently 23 years old and haven't really had much experience with rough sex. We'll change that. I'll make you five years older within the next five hours. Five years in which you have had fun every weekend in the relevant bars. Online dating? Cybersex? For you, that's for sissies. You want to feel and smell your partner's sweat during sex. And for you, shooting your semen into a tissue is a waste. It should end up in someone else's face or ass. And if you get fucked yourself, at least on your chest or in your face.

Do you notice how you change? How your self-confidence grows. How you look at the people around you in the underground. And how you yourself attract more and more glances. You are an alpha stallion. Let me adjust a few things. Three times a week to the gym. You have a career at work. You're an alpha. That gives you the money to invest in leather. These things aren't cheap. But you love the smell. Army? Rubber? Skinhead? All hot fetishes. But you need the feeling of black leather on your skin.

When you get off the underground, you grab the crotch of the hot guy opposite you with your leather gloves as a farewell. And then you head for the toilet of the underground station with your heavy boots. Totally filthy place. But with glory holes. And sure enough, there's someone waiting on the stall next to you. You haven't had sex for two days. And you gratefully get a blowjob before dinner.

In the burger restaurant you stand right at the entrance. A couple of guys think you're the bouncer. With your black bomber jacket and short-cropped hair, that's not far-fetched. What if your colleagues saw you now? No one would recognise you without your tailor-made suits. At least not at first glance.

After the burger, you go out for a beer or two. You're already wearing the full outfit. Leather jeans. Leather shirt. People gawk and drool. But you only have eyes for guys in leather. Too bad, there are none in the gay bar today. More like young party people. So it's better to move straight on to the leather bar.

On the street, at the stairs down to the bar in the basement, there are a few really hot guys smoking cigarettes. Beginners. You put a fat Dominco Presidente in your mouth. And exchange glances with the bearded leather master standing on the railing of the basement stairs. He stubs out his cigarette, takes the cigar from your mouth and grabs your chin with his other leather-gloved hand. Wouldn't you like to put something else big in your mouth?

After a few minutes, the two of you are the attraction in the dark room. This is a promising start to a horny weekend. Make the most of it!

[placentaeater999]

It is 5am and I have gotten half an hour of sleep so it's time for my ramblings that you can totally ignore lmao

I keep thinking about this older gay man (maybe in his 50s) i met last month. I'd gone to a reception for a scholarship program i got accepted into and he was a part of the selection committee. He came up to me afterwards because he said he personally wanted to congratulate and thank me and the one other openly queer person that got in. We talked for a few minutes and as he talked about what it meant to him to see more of the community trying to enter this field (it's a marine sciences program) he started to tear up and I did too.

His face looked like so many of the older gay men ive looked up to in terms of the masculinity he exuded even while wearing a bright pink patterned button up with kakhi pants and a little side bag. There was something so comforting about him. He looked like someone i wish i could grow into, with a short well kept silvery beard, sunglasses, some nice short hair, and a thick septum ring.

I'm someone who's very passionate about my queerness and my transness and the history and the queer folks that've come before me. I love my queerness and my community and while I didn't like my own queerness for a long time, its something ive fought for tooth and nail to care for for so long now. To have an older gay man tell me he was proud of me personally just fucking like-Im tearing up rn as im writing this just AUGH.

I just

AUGH. Very rarely do I feel proud of myself. And this man I don't know being so proud of me and my existence that he Cried?? I just. I Cry.

Anyways. The room is getting lighter and the birds are singing so im gonna try and rest.

[offmychest-official]

if i see one more of those sweeping transmasc generalizations that try and claim that were all uwu femboys, brainless twinks, or young conventionally attractive men with maybe a little patch of facial hair and nothing else im going to personally crash the sun into the house of whoever is making them i am TIRED of everything i see thats a "relatable trans boy meme" excluding me from it. i am NOT some toothpick-thin softboy i am a FAT TEENAGER who intends to have a capital-b BEARD as an adult while being scene and every time i see trans man rep cut off in their early 20s i want to MAUL SOMEONE. it really and honestly feels like cis people just want us to be a hot accessory to them. the "gay best friend" stereotype. the "flat chest short hair" type of trans boy is all they want. when a trans guy with no desire to get top surgery walks up they start to get all twitchy and i am fucking Sick of it. like physically ill. im a trans guy i like my boobs how is that somehow the end of the world for cis bitches its simple

.

[bisexualseraphim]

wait you’re actually Christian but also lgbt? how does that work?

So I’ve got a bit of a funny relationship with religion — I was actually raised Iehovah’s Witness at first (yeah that’s a story to tell…), decided I didn’t like that one bit, was then raised Protestant for a while, became antitheist out of rebellion, studied religion in depth, went through a few different phases, and then finally rejoined the Church as a Protestant again.

However, I would describe myself as more of an agnostic-Christian; I do not take any edition of the Bible at face value or, pardon the pun, as gospel. I also don’t see God as some bearded old dude in the sky who loves us yet has nothing better to do other than spread disease and watch us destroy all species.

Some people might find that contradictory and I do understand that, but I personally find it a lot more productive and comforting to see the Bible kind of like Aesop’s Fables — these events did not actually happen the way they are depicted, but there are valuable lessons to be learned from them and they are personal and open to interpretation by everyone who reads them. Every Christian you meet will have a different opinion on what it “actually” says and means. You’d be surprised how many claim that Ezekiel’s descriptions of angels are “wrong” despite literally being there within the text. At the end of the day it is a book, just like any other. No interpretation is strictly right or wrong.

…Which is exactly why I despise Christians who use it to excuse their hatred. “I interpret the Bible as saying that men having sex with men is wrong.” Okay? That’s personal to you. So just don’t have sex with men as a man if you don’t want to. However, many other people don’t interpret it that way or just aren’t Christian to begin with, so for you to tell them that their identity or their personal lives are against God is cunt behaviour. You are not Christ himself, it is not your job to “save” them or whatever the fuck. Mind your business.

I just think trying to apply a magical story that was written thousands of years ago in many different languages that can be translated and interpreted in many different ways to the real world in the 21st century is pointless and can only lead to a life of misery. I mean, Hell isn’t even spoken about in the Bible the way that 99% of Christians speak of it. Dante made up most of that shit in Inferno about 2700 years after the Bible’s first ever conception. They’re literally basing their idea of Hell off of, essentially, a fanfiction poem when they tell us that that’s where us gays are headed. They don’t even actually read the text they hold so dear lmao. You’re not technically supposed to wear mixed fabrics or shave your beard or cut your hair or get tattoos according to the Bible but that always goes ignored too 🤷🏻‍♂️ You can’t do all that but then rag on trans people for “rejecting His image” or whatever the fuck. People are the way God made them, and God made trans people. Not that anyone follows the Bible to the letter anyway. That would be practically impossible. (And, as I said, not everyone is Christian and interested in abiding by the Bible.) In short, do whatever the fuck you want as long as it’s not hurting anybody else. Love yourself and love each other.

So yeah, it’s a bit of a weird one for me. I think the Bible is a very interesting story regardless of whether it’s “real” or not and many could get something out of reading it if you just see it as kind of a cool comic book or something. I find the idea of Heaven and an afterlife comforting and I value the teachings of Christ. At the same time, I am open to all other religions and their teachings. Everyone has their own perspective on who or what God actually is — or many Gods, of course — and nobody has any right to tell them that they are wrong, because we simply don’t know. I think anyone who has studied the Bible would also greatly benefit from reading the Torah, the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran, etc to open up their world view a little more.

I just think it’s such a shame that religion is often used to divide when it could instead be used to connect and relate with others. I had many Jewish, Buddhist and Hindu friends as a kid and I greatly enjoyed discussing with them our respective texts and how they differed, but were also in many ways similar. And I do admit I sometimes feel ashamed for being part of a group who so often see an ancient book as the entire meaning of life, the universe, and everything and use it to deny human rights or even fucking science.

Facts and science should always come before faith, end of story. Science is a universal truth whereas faith is personal belief. And you should always, always, when you can, be kind. “Love thy neighbour as thyself” and all that. Funny how that always gets ignored. Just goes to show that people who spread hatred have some serious self-esteem issues.

And I hate all forms of bigotry but one that especially gets on my nerves is antisemitism by Christians because it is entirely baseless and Christianity literally would not exist if it weren’t for the Jewish people. (Not that bigotry ever has an excuse but you get my meaning.) Jesus was not killed by “the Jews.” Jesus WAS a Jew and he was persecuted by — who else — the Romans. And even if he was killed by Jewish people (he wasn’t) that still wouldn’t excuse any of the horrific things done to them throughout history. Antisemitism has been a problem since Judaism first became a concept thousands of years ago and I cannot express how much it saddens and disappoints me that it’s still so commonplace today. Many people are even antisemitic without realising due to all the dogwhistling (“lizard people rule the world,” anyone?). It’s abhorrent.

But yeah. It’s complicated. To sum up: I love Jesus. I believe in Something that created us but not necessarily exactly as the Bible says. I believe most if not all of the Bible is metaphorical and therefore using it to justify treating others shittily is bullshit. I believe science should always come before faith and church should always be separated from the State. Religion is deeply personal and therefore trying to enforce your personal beliefs and values from it onto others is, at the very least, fucking rude and preachers can kiss my well-bathed arse. I believe all religions are valid and have value and, if I’m being honest, I am primarily Christian rather than anything else due to its familiarity to me. If me from 20 years into the future time travelled back here and told me I’d end up becoming Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu or something else, I’d be completely fine with that. I am always curious about the world around me and try to be as open as possible, and, above all else, compassionate. (Except to bigots and to anyone else who’s plain cruel but I don’t feel like I can be particularly faulted for that.) And I believe Christianity and the Church as an institution has a lot of issues that it needs to answer for.

I don’t know if I’ve at all explained myself well here but if anyone has any more questions my inbox is always open. (But if you come in to say anything homophobic or transphobic or antisemitic or whatever the fuck in the name of the Bible you can go fuck yourself ✌🏻)

[the-light-finds-its-way]

So I missed my annual national coming out day post!

But anyway, here's your trans Titan being a shirtless Titan!! I wear my surgery scar loud and proud, and in fact, the night I took this photo was during a con, and a guy dressed as Jesus saw me shirtless with my gay flag swim shorts, passed by, and said, "Blessed be, my child!"

YES!!!!!

This year, my beard FINALLY started coming in. It's not thick yet, it's scraggly and curly and itchy as allfuck. But! I love it nonetheless!! It's a BEARD!!!! THE thing I have wanted for YEARS!!!!! I've been on testosterone for 5.5 years now, and I'm so SO happy with the changes it's brought to me, even though they're so slow.

I've, in the past year, gotten a gender-affirming haircut! My first haircut in almost 20 years!! I buzzed my sides, then took my super fucking long Viking hair, tied it back, and braided it. I look even more like a modern-day Viking this way lol.

In my college's creative writing magazine, I published a short story about the troubles on my first walk as a man, going out in public as the entire opposite gender of what everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knew me as. I live in a tiny town of under 20 square miles, and here, you know everyone and everything about everyone. It's horrible, the anxiety of going on that first walk. But man, it's freeing. And I broke those binds years ago that held me down, and I've walked free every day since, being me. Being Magnus.

Anyway, be loud and proud, don't feel pressured to come out if you aren't ready, if it isn't safe to, whatever your situation may be. You are important, you matter, your safety and your life matter.

Love yourself, love your progress. Don't give up. :)

[ceruleanwhore]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TedLasso/comments/146erdu/we_need_to_talk_about_ted_lassos_keeley_jack/

this is the reddit post that talks about the jackkeeley problem

Thanks for sending it! I took a look at the post, some comments, and the article and I think I would say that I agree with the article a little more than the comments. This is mainly because my biggest issue with Jack x Keeley is one that people aren’t really talking about that much in the comments, which is that not only did their relationship have issues, but it had the most amount of other characters warning the main character about red flags than any other relationship in the show.

What I mean is that we, the audience, already know perfectly well that Rupert is the worst person ever, but that doesn’t really matter because there is never any danger of Rebecca taking him back, so we never get her being in that relationship and having multiple friends be like “hmm, I’d be careful about that.” Even when the show presents us with other relationships that are clearly toxic or problematic, such as Rebecca and Sam, they never have that kind of intervention and the show even rewards Rebecca for her predatory role there. The closest we get to what we see with Keeley and Jack is the clearly toxic relationship between Beard and Jane, where there’s a whole episode about how Higgins wants to say something and caution him but literally everyone tells him not to and, when he finally does, he and Beard agree not to speak of it ever again and then, in the finale, Beard fucking marries her.

I think that really is my biggest question — why are toxic, problematic het ships rewarded by the show and treated oppositely of how they handle their one toxic gay ship? And also, I understand the point people are making in the comments of that Reddit post about how Jack x Keeley is just realistic and it doesn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows, but I really want to know why the one relationship that gets the most screen time by far of the two gay relationships we see was written this way. Why is it that they decided to use that relationship specifically to have the characters around Keeley throwing around terms like “love bombing” and why, if they were going to invent a whole new character for Keeley to date, did they choose to go with the billionaire financially backing her entire business?

These choices they made leave a bad taste in my mouth and make me feel like the Keeley x Jack relationship wasn’t actually written in good faith as it’s easier to believe that Colin’s story was. This is especially the case given that, as I believe I said in another post, there really was something about the framing of Jack and Keeley, especially when they first got together, that felt very much like the male gaze, like when a couple of girls kiss at some wild party in a corny movie and all the guys hoot and holler about it. I think both of those points come back to how Jack x Keeley never actually felt organic in any way — probably because Jack’s whole character existed solely to become Keeley’s gf — and the whole relationship felt like they had some awareness around how they had made Keeley bi, so that meant it felt necessary to actually put her with another woman at some point.

Probably the last point I’ll make here about why that relationship gives me the ick as far as it being representation goes is that it feels like a stereotype. You’ve got a masc and a hyper femme woman in a sapphic relationship that is moving really fast and idk, it just feels like some straight people took to the internet and found a few things about U-Haul lesbians and wrote this relationship. Especially given that Jack wasn’t even just… a character, like she was created with the sole purpose of dating Keeley, it doesn’t sit right with me that she’s the only woman with such a masculine name, which of course goes with her story about how her parents really wanted a boy, and that she’s got short hair and wears pantsuits and with her being such an underdeveloped character, that becomes a significant part of who she is. A sizable chunk of what we see of her character is that she’s a masc gay lady and idk, I just really don’t like it in context.

Aside from that, I would say that I think people have a point that not all lgbtq rep has to be all nice and happy every time, but in this case I question it, and maybe that’s because this relationship feels like it doesn’t have any actual lgbtq people behind it. This doesn’t feel like a sapphic relationship written by sapphic people at all, so perhaps that’s why I’m critical of the fact that these choices were made and it was handled like this. I feel like this is especially the case when this relationship is compared to the last one she had on screen, which was with Roy, and that one ended even though it was generally very healthy, just because they felt the need to end it. Not only does this show me that they would’ve been perfectly capable of letting Keeley have another good, healthy relationship like that and still have it end if/when they wanted it to, but there’s something that feels icky about how her one sapphic relationship compares to her het ones. Roy was the embodiment of the female gaze and hardly did anything wrong while Jamie was just a bit of an idiot but never was actually toxic in their relationship and then had the biggest mental/emotional glow-up ever on screen, and yet the only woman Keeley is actually shown to do gay things with is an abusive billionaire who destroys her whole business over the breakup. As such, I think I’d have less of a problem with Keeley being in a toxic relationship that isn’t straight if we, the audience, had ever actually seen her be in any other toxic relationship before then, or even just deal with a toxic man.

Now, I say all this as a ‘baby queer’ who just realized my own sexuality less than a year ago, so I also don’t have the years of experience those commenters have with baiting and bad rep to lower my standards and expectations. On the other hand, I think a lot of the people commenting on that post and a lot of people on here talking about this stuff have been doing this longer and, over time, have built up very different expectations and perspectives than I have. Personally, unless a romantic relationship is written by someone of the same demographic as either the person in that relationship who is the most marginalized identity or both people in the relationship if they’re the same demographic as each other, it doesn’t feel right for it to be written as being toxic if it’s supposed to be rep, in my opinion. For example, if a thin, able-bodied woman were to write a relationship between a plus size, disabled woman and a thin, able-bodied man and then made it super toxic when it’s presented like it’s supposed to be rep for larger bodied people with disabilities, that also wouldn’t feel right. However, I understand why a lot of these other people are saying that it’s fine because it’s realistic and I do get the point they’re making even though I don’t agree with it.

Anyway, sorry for rambling and that was way longer than I’d intended for it to be but I hope that’s a sufficient answer 😅

[butch-bakugo]

Thats it, im talking about the perisexist aka intersexphobic side of terfs that needs to be addressed more often.

Like terfs fucking hate drag and call anyone, trans or cis, male or female, participating in it "sexual perverts" for wanting to expose children to it but claim you'll die a thousand deaths for gnc women? Bs. Drag is just gender nonconformity on fuckin steroids and it's not inherently sexual. Like why is a woman in a suit only ok to you if she walks around stateing that she is a woman but not ok if she dosent? Like yall are so trigger happy, you shoot at cis butch lesbians with short blue hair who arent actively talking about womanhood and vaginas and accuse her of being an evil tranny whose either a traitor to her fellow woman or a "tim" trying to identify as woman and making a mockery of gnc women.

Yall are so caught up on fuckin genitalia that you dont see the numerous poc cultures, non-christian religions, gnc people and intersex people you drown in your wake who were never aginest feminism but are too "trans-similar" for you to chill tf out. Ive had people tell me im "obviously a non-passing trans woman" just because im intersex with a beard.

Every single time ive addressed intersex people who can not, no matter how much you try, be sorted into male or female, ive been told we dont matter. Intersex people DO MATTER. Your not helping anyone but perisex, hormonally stable cis white women. Hormonally intersex afabs arnt gonna fucking want you, your telling them they dont matter. Physically intersex people raised as women arnt gonna want you, your telling them they dont fucking matter. Hyperandrogonious cis women dont want shit to do with you because your already accusing her of "clearly being a trans woman" because she can naturally grow a beard. The only femininity and women who benefit from terf shit are cis white gc perisex women.

Im not gonna throw away my native culture's gender variance for some white terf just because most white cultures are patriarchal. Im not gonna throw out my genderfluid religious practices for some catholic raised "anti-theist" terf who is one sentence away from saying islamophobic and anti-Semitic slurs just because she believes all muslims and jewish people are sexist and follow the sexist portions of their holy text.

I mean fuck, ive seen terfs advocate for hormonally intersex women to TAKE ESTROGEN so they look less "male" and act less "male". Ive seen them advocate for intersex (mostly afab) babies with intersex genitalia to go through Fgm, a thing they VEHEMENTLY hate just so shes more "female" and can fit their boxes better. Ive seen them say that testosterone makes you inherently violent and angry without dareing to see the actual fucking medical evidence that thats entirely untrue. Ive seen them adovocate for putting 10 year old sons of female rape victims out of shelters because "hes a man at that point" and "other women's safety comes first".... Over a hypothetical and soon to be hypothermic 10 year old boy. Some of them fully and shamelessly base their ideology around genuinely killing all men and male fetuses like... Fuck dude. I think you might need some therapy. Like i get feeling that way, im a victim of many men in my life and if i could choose a world where i can only interact with everyone but cis men, id choose it but im not advocating for the complete genocide of an entire group of people.

The way they talk about trans people smells all to familiar to any group thats gone through genocide and governmental oppression. Its similar to gay people, disabled people, women, poc, non-christians, everyone can see abit of the bigotry in their argument they see in their own oppressors and that should be a real big flashing sign that maybe terfism... Isnt the way to go. When i explain to people that radical feminism can be trans inclusive and its simply and active and deeper form of feminism, i get laughed at by both sides but its true. Tirfs do exist and they include trans and intersex and nonbinary people of all kinds and yes, that includes amabs and many progressives today would fall under that label. But heres the thing, modern day and previous forms of feminism in america have always benefited white cishet women. Susan b fucking anthony supported slavery and did not advocate for black women to be able to vote. Anti-gender variance ignores many poc cultures rich and accepting histories of transgenderism, nonbinarism and intersexuality. So many "pinnicles of feminism" that terfs hold up were racist or homophobic or anti-Semitic. Trans, nonbinary and intersex people are just white cis feminism's shiny new chew toy and they will get bored and pick a new target maybe 10 years from now. Probably disabled people.

I understand the anger many terfs carry but sympathy isnt needed here. Many of them actively ignore actual fact and relative understanding towards anything that questions their veiws and they are HAPPY to uplift racists and anti-semites and homophobes(See jk rowling) as long as their anti-trans messages are still singing. Someone who partners with the enemy to hurt others despite the enemy also supporting the things they supposedly advocate againest has no loyalty or shame. They are happy as long as they have a platform. Terfs would go on fox fucking news watching tucker carlson chuckle under his breath at their feminism and "pro-same sex attraction" ideology as long as they get that soundbite of a feminist not supporting trans pple to make all feminists, trans people and gay pple look fucking stupid.

Jk rowling isnt your fucking friend. Shes a mirror held up to YOUR community. One ive heard echos of sedmients made from outside it being ignored. Your litterally femcels. Ive seen terfs get upset at the ableism and racism within their own community thats upheld by white neurotypical women get utterly ignored. I have so many screenshots of white terfs saying the n word its not even funny yet when a tranny like me shows you evidence of the underlying racism in anti-trans/nonbinary rhetoric, you claim that theirs poc terfs. Ive seen white terfs call me a teepee n****r because i said native american people respected all genders and werent inherently patriarchal. Ive seen white terfs advocate for full on ETHNIC FUCKING CLEANSING of certain poc cultures because they had some patriarchal portions. BRUH. If your scrambling to find some crumb in your community to excuse its actions and cover up the evil everyone already pointed out, you should do some introspection into what your supporting.

Terfs dont even see the humanity in trans people or intersex people. Quoting a jewish youtuber talking about oppression he faced after trump endorsed the nazis in south carolina and said that jewish people and nazis should come to a compromise "when one side will never be happy unless their opposition is completely erraticated, there is no compromise. They simply wont stop until they are all dead or 'rehabilitated'. There is no conversation, there is only the eradication of the victims or the offending group.". Terfs are advocating for trans genocide and detranstion of those who remain. They shrink our numbers to deny us humanity and when they arnt celebrating the high trans suicide statistic, they are minimising it. They are no different from holocaust deniers, they just dont have as much support and the more of their own stances they are willing to let go of to take advantage of their shared opinions with alt-right and fascist platforms, the more their feminist and gay rights mask slip off to reveal the racist, antisemitic and hate filled rot underneath.

[lieutenantselnia]

I randomly decided to dig out my old dream diary and I'm literally howling with laughter right now about some of the stuff I wrote down there😂😂 So much mildly cursed but in hindsight also extremely hilarious stuff😭😂

For context, I've been wanting to learn lucid dreaming for a long time (still can't do it unfortunately), and for a while during my teenage years I actually tried writing a dream diary to learn remembering my dreams more clearly (according to my notes I actually managed to even get a few semi-lucid dreams!). Most of these are from the first half of 2018, when I actually managed to write down my dreams consistently for a couple months, plus a few from 2019 and early 2020, in total about 20 dreams. I thought it might be funny to share some of the most hilarious, cursed or just really random moments from them:

I met with people that I either went to school with at the time or used to go to school with before, and we had to participate in various competitions or challenges, usually it was either something absurdly dangerous and cruel or something extremely embarrassing. That sort of stuff occurred in multiple dreams, like one time we were in the sports hall of my old primary school and had to kill each other with spears, another time me and some classmates were participating in a challenge of some random YouTuber and had to jump from a really high tower into a bath tub (which had no water in it but a trampoline).

We had to present our short film projects in English class (this is something we actually did in real life), and one group did a retelling of "The Lion King" where Timon died at the finale and that was just how the film ended. Also General Burkhalter from Hogan's Heroes was there as a film critic. He liked that ending even though most other people were just really confused about it.

I met Heinrich Himmler and Reinhard Heydrich on a Christmas market and they were a gay couple and I took stupid selfies with them (what the fuck). In another dream Himmler was together with Joseph Goebbels instead, but before I woke up they told me it was actually just a prank and when I looked at the date it was suddenly April Fool's Day.

On my 15th birthday (in real life) I dreamed that it was summer and Christmas at the same time. (I live in the northern hemisphere so that doesn't happen here. Also my birthday is obviously not at Christmas.)

So. Many. Dreams. About. Thrawn. I swear about half of all the dreams I wrote down were just about me being in love with Thrawn and trying to get together with him, the nonsense level of the surrounding scenarios usually varying. There are too many to explain them all, but one of my favourite quote from one of the diary entries is probably "Thrawn and I had an ugly child", it's just so blunt and random😭 In another dream Thrawn randomly had a beard and I lowkey hated it, and in another he turned out to just be a human guy with make-up and I was super disappointed when I woke up.

A bunch of doctors and scientists were investigating our garden pond and randomly found the corpse of a blue-haired girl, but they weren't interested in her at all and just threw her onto our compost heap💀

I was Tony Stark's adoptive daughter (no idea why, I'm not even in the Marvel fandom) and when someone broke into our house to steal his inventions, I tried fighting the guy off and we had a duel with using a pot and a frying pan as weapons. He was arrested and we went eating tacos to celebrate.

Not gonna lie reading through all this madness actually makes me want to start writing a dream diary again😂 Like, even if I still don't learn lucid dreaming, at least I'll have something to laugh about again in a few years xD

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

I'm bored, here's some

Shameless Headcanons

Specifically Gallavich

Ian cut his hair shorter and kept it shorter after seeing/finding out Clayton was his biological dad, he didnt want to feel more different from his siblings/estranged from frank as he already was. Seeing that he was his bio dads carbon copy copy he did the only thing he could do to change the similarities.

Mickey Milkovich is dyslexic, but a fucking wizard at math.

Mickey and Angie Zhago were friends, she was the first to know he was gay, she was his beard and played up their "hookups" to keep everyone thinking he was straight. He also kept assholes away from her.

Mandy and Mickey have different moms. In season 2x9 Ian and Mandy have the conversation about "lucky her mom is dead" but Mickey later says that his mom ran out. So IMO Terry cheated on Mickey's mom with Mandy's mom, but Mandy's mom died when Mandy was born, since Terry's on the birth certificate he gets custody and Mickey's mom raises Mandy.

Mickey's mom runs away while he's in juvie in season 2.

Mickey didn't know Terry was SA-ing Mandy, she refused to tell him.

When Ian is having an anxiety attack Mickey's smell grounds him.

When Mickey was in prison Ian visited him on multiple occasions during the first year he's locked up. When he first gets the EMT job/gets with Caleb (gross) his visits begin to dwindle and then just becomes phone calls and letters. That goes for about 6 months, then when Ian gets with Trevor he stops completely. Mickey thinking something happened to Ian breaks out and finds him.

When Mickey and Ian are at the quinceanera, Jesus says "you're that vato from the news who seduced the woman guard" I think the female guard was Angie Zhago, and he doesnt seduce her, but she helps her old friend escape. She says he seduced her because that's a less offending punishment than if she just let him go.

Mickey is demisexual and has only ever loved Ian. The park hookup, Mexico hookup, and Byron shit was just because he was lonely.

Mickey is a cat person.

The first time Fiona and Mandy are in town they come to Mickey and Ian's apartment to watch their wedding video, included commentary and reenactments from the grooms.

Ian and Mickey begin seeing a therapist both individually and as a couple thr 3rd year into their marraige. The couples one for upkeep Ian read somewhere it's the third and seventh years that marriages start straining and he doesn't want that. The individual ones for their own issues, Ian and his trauma from being groomed and SA'd all those years ago. Mickey from PTSD from Terry, abandonment from his mom, some internalized homophobia that still lingers in the form of his father's voice.

Ian loves scary movies, the gut wrenching jump scaring ones, classic and new. All monsters all killers, he loves them all. Mickey watches them with him but gets scared and hides his face in Ian's chest/shoulder. He tells Ian he fell asleep, he wasnt scared. But those nights they sleep with a plug in night light on, "it's so dark I'm gonna trip over your dirty clothes on the floor and break my neck on the way to the bathroom".

Terry knew Mickey was in Mexico when Ian came to ask for advice on being in the pen. Terry called Mickey and was like "that gallagher queer is going to prison hahaha" and Mickey thought his dad was just fucking with him until he saw the gay jesus shirt on the tourist.

Mickey loves playing connect the dots with Ian's freckles whenever there's a writing utensil by the bed.

After Ian and Mickey are first locked up together and everyone realizes they are actually TOGETHER it's a balancing act. There's an inmate or two who will tell Ian to keep his bitch in line then mickey will beat the shit outta them "liking what I like dont make me a bitch". Or ian being threatened and the other inmate saying "whose gonna save you huh your bitch?" Then mickey comes over and smirks as Ian beats the guy "I can handle myself, and he isnt anyone's bitch. "

Mickey can be insecure about his height and other short appendages and when he's like that Ian just worships him and praises him and adores him until Mickey feels good about himself in the moment.

Mickey definitely has a praise kink.

The picture Mickey had of Ian when he was away at the army was one he snapped of him on a night in one of the abandoned buildings that ian had put in Facebook. He prints it out at a Walgreens and sleeps with it under his pillow.

Mickey will have nightmares about terry finding them and the rape.

Yevgeny is biologically Terry's son. Mickey has a paternity test done. He wants to protect his brother from the hell he went through from his dad though, so he starts to help out with him and tend to him more because of it.

Mickey wants nothing to do with Yev at first because he keeps giving Mickey flashbacks to the beating and the rape. But it wasnt until Ian starts staying there that he begins to warm up to yev.

Mickey definitely overheard Ian tell Lip "if you ever hit my husband again I'll fucking kill you." He doesnt share that he heard, but he feels more settled.

Ian feels like he has to makeup to Mickey because of his bipolar.

Mickey buys the red medical dictionary and keeps journals to track Ian's moods and medications so he can understand everything.

Ian calls mickey beautiful as often as he can.

Mickey will do anything Franny asks, tea parties, liquor store robbery, hopscotch, anything. Ian often comes home to them sleeping in a pile of toys.

Ian gets Mickey a new guitar and mickey will play him songs that he wrote about Ian all those years ago.

Mickey will help Ian in the garden, especially when Ian coincidentally let's it slip that he forgot to put on sunscreen. Mickey comes charging out to put it on his husband then gets roped into mixing soils.

That's all for now.